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wastelandmoony · 2 days ago

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Déjà Vécu: Cough Syrup

Chapter Thirty-Six : Cough Syrup

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI.

TW for this chapter: mentions of abuse, mentions of SA, use of the word r*pe.

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

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The sound of muffled voices buzzed close-by, along with the smell of Earl Grey and laundry soap. She groaned softly as one of the voices drew closer.

“Shhh…it’s okay.”

A gentle hand ran over the top of her head. Eyelids cracking open, the blurry image of Remus came into view. She lifted her head and tried to gaze around; the mismatched furniture paired with the homey smell signaled they were at Molly and Arthur’s house. “Relax, we’re safe.”

Groggily, she blinked at him, “W-what happened?”

“You were stupefied.”

She groaned again, shutting her eyes, “Fuckin’ Barty…”

Remus let out an exasperated chuckle, “You also got a nasty slice on your arm thanks to one of ‘em, but Molly was able to patch it up as best she could.”

Moving slightly, the pain in her arm had definitely dulled, though she now sported a large bandage wrapped around her bicep. “How’d we get back here?”

Remus sighed; he looked so tired. “I caught you before you fell, and just apparated to the first place I thought of.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Which happened to be Molly’s house?”

He shook his head, “Great Russell Street.”

“…The British Museum?”

Remus nodded sheepishly, “You love it there…anyway, it’s not important. Once I saw no one had followed, I brought us here. You were bleeding pretty badly, and I just knew Molly’d be the best that could help on such short notice…”

She took his hand and squeezed it, watching the tension in his shoulders ease. Sitting up slowly, the room spun only slightly as Remus held her shoulders steady.

“I’ll go grab Molly, she’d want to know you were awake. Prongs is here too, he’s standing watch outside—”

“—he should be at home with Lily! The baby could come any day—“ Her feeble protest was silenced by a commotion in the next room over.

“—get the fuck off me, James—“

A dull thump, followed by footsteps.

“Where is she?”

“Calm down, mate. She’s fine, you can’t go in there acting like—“

“Where is she?!”

Sirius flew around the corner looking livid. The moment his wild eyes landed on her, every feature in his face softened.

“I’m sorry…“ she started, as he kneeled before the small couch and cupped her face. His grey-blue eyes searched for any and all injuries, falling on the bandage covering the better part of her left arm. Sirius’ voice was soft as he brushed her hair back, “We’ll talk about it later…”

As quickly as he’d arrived at her side, he was standing, turning to Remus. “You knew what the mission was, and you let her go?” Sirius’ voice began to take on a sharp edge, “You promised to keep her safe. We agreed.”

Remus visibly deflated a bit, mouth opening to speak before she intervened.

“He did keep me safe, he’s the one that brought us back here. Remus got us out—”

“You let her walk into a den of fucking wolves as bait!” Sirius shouted at his friend, not even acknowledging her statement.

“She wasn’t bait, she had a cover—“

Sirius let out a bitter laugh, “As what? A little werewolf-sympathizer, there to support her poor, bitten friend?”

“I work for the Ministry you fucking asshole,” she spat, blood beginning to boil at the minimization of her efforts, “Or have you forgotten? Too busy trying to play the fucking rogue hero all the time.”

Sirius’ eyes were blazing as he glanced over a shoulder, “Better than playing a faux savior.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“At least I’m not pretending to be making a difference.”

A sucker punch to the gut. All air had been sucked from her lungs as she stared at Sirius, the love of her life, suddenly a stranger. She knew how he got when he was this angry; the words just spewing out of him with no filter and no remorse until after-the-fact. It was a trauma response, one that was built over years and years of abuse growing up. She knew that, she’d accepted it and vowed to help him work on it. She’d just never been on the receiving end before.

“Don’t fucking talk to her like that,” Remus stepped closer, fists clenched at his side, “Just because she’s not going around blasting apart Death Eater strongholds, doesn’t mean she’s not helping. This mission gave us a lot of valuable intel, and it wouldn’t have been possible without her.”

Sirius continued to glare at him, “You let her walk into a fucking ambush!”

Remus shook his head, “It wasn’t an ambush, everything was fine and under control—“

“Under control?!” She could hear the panic in Sirius’s voice, the shrill tone echoing throughout the room. For a split second, Walburga’s face flashed in her mind; a memory from years ago in Diagon Alley. The same tone Sirius’s mother had used to chastise her in the street was almost identical to the one he shouted at Remus with. The thought caused a shiver to creep up her spine.

“You let her walk into a room full of Death Eaters and fucking werewolves, without backup, and you want me to consider that ‘under fucking control’?”

She crossed her arms defiantly, “We’re fine. We just…had a little hiccup, but it all worked out.”

Remus nodded fondly, “Her quick thinking got us out of it. Everything would’ve gone smoothly if it wasn’t for Rosier and Crouch—“

Immediately, she felt the blood drain from her face.

Sirius slowly turned to look at her, and suddenly they were back in the Forbidden Forest, his wand at Evan’s throat. “Rosier did this to you?” He whispered.

Uttering those two names was like tossing gasoline onto an already blazing fire.

He snapped his attention back to Remus, shoving him back into the wall, “Evan fucking Rosier?!”

Remus stared like he’d lost his mind. “Barty is the one that hit her. Both of them are working with the Death Eaters.” For a moment, they were silent, the only sound being the clock ticking softly in the back of the room. It happened almost in slow motion (at least from her still-mildly-dazed state) but before anyone could react, Sirius had launched himself at Remus, pinning him against the wall. He grabbed him by the shirt and they both began to grapple with each other.

Surging forward, she ripped at Sirius’s arm, trying to separate them. “Stop, it’s over!”

Hearing the commotion, James rushed in and pulled his best friend away, not without some thrashing and empty threats. Sirius continued to glare at Remus from where he was being held across the room. The latter stared back, in a state somewhere between rage and confusion and hurt.

She didn’t move, just watching as Sirius’s began to burn from the inside. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he inhaled a deep breath.

“They still don’t know, do they? Just another one of your little secrets you seem so keen on keeping…” He was going for blood, something she should’ve expected; Sirius always bit back.

“Stop…” the plea came out as a whimper, tears beginning to fill her vision. Remus shifted beside her.

“Why don’t you tell them? Tell them what happened in the forest—“ Sirius cocked his head, taunting her. There was a sheen of cruelty in his eyes, one that had become more frequent as the war raged on. It was the same one she had always seen in Regulus.

“Tell us what?” Remus looked between the two of them, the tension in the air close to catastrophic levels. She shook her head slowly, eyes shooting daggers at Sirius.

He held her gaze as he fired the killing blow, “About how Rosier tried to rape her during 6th year.”

“You’re a fucking bastard,” she hissed, fists clenched as she tried to not wrap both hands around his throat.

Sirius ignored her, “Rosier, Crouch, and Mulciber lured her into the forest and held her down—” Remus had gone pale. “—and you let her walk into an unsupervised, unarmed, unprotected meeting with two of them. Way to go, Moony.”

She couldn’t stand being in the room anymore, not as Sirius spewed his venom, not as Remus and James looked at her with such pity that she wanted to throw up. Pushing past them, she fled toward the front door and out into the night, breath coming in giant heaving gasps as she spiraled into a panic.

———

August 1st, 1980

The morning after the mission, she woke up in Remus’ bed, her best friend sprawled beside her with his arm wrapped protectively around her body. After apparating back to the flat the night prior, she’d fallen asleep curled on the floor of his bedroom, having cried so hard it was surprising she hadn’t vomited. Barely lucid, she vaguely remembered him entering the room quietly and carrying her to his bed. She’d been staying in there ever since, barely leaving out of fear of seeing Sirius.

Slipping out of his bed a few days later, she grabbed one of Remus’ sweaters from the floor and threw it over her t-shirt to ward off the morning chill (or was that a side-effect of the numbness she felt in her bones). The flat was quiet as she padded down towards the kitchen, desperate for a coffee. Her bedroom door was open, the bed vacant as she cautioned a glance inside; the covers were rumpled, and she didn’t miss the almost-empty bottle of firewhisky on the bedside table. The living room was empty as well. Sirius wasn’t here. She didn’t care, nor did she want to waste the energy trying to worry about it.

The nutty-rich smell of coffee filled the small space as she leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to quiet the buzzing in her head. The scent must have reached the back bedrooms, because no sooner than she’d poured a cup, Remus trudged in, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely. He placed a gentle kiss to her head, pulling another mug out of the cabinet and helping himself. They sipped in comfortable silence on opposite sides of the kitchen, a lot left unsaid from the other night, neither wanting to touch it with a 200-meter pole at the moment.

“He went to Peter’s,” Remus muttered.

“I don’t care, Moons,” she sighed.

He hummed, “Yes, you do.” She shot him a glare as the mug was brought to her lips.

“Lily had the baby last night,” changing the subject, he set his cup down on the counter, a tiny bit of hope gleaming in his eyes.

She almost dropped her mug, “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugged, and she caught the pity in his expression briefly, something that hadn’t been there until recently. She hated it.

“You were sleeping when James sent word, I didn’t want to wake you.”

He’d been doing that a lot the past few days, letting her sleep for hours upon hours, knowing she was doing it to escape. She swallowed and avoided his eyes.

“Prongs is a dad,” he said in whispered disbelief, shaking his head slightly.

“Jesus, that’s terrifying,” she laughed, eliciting a grin from Remus.

“We’re going over today to see them…all of us,” he said quietly.

“Bold of you to assume I’m joining.”

He gave her a sidelong glance, “We both know you’d never miss the opportunity to meet Lily’s and James’s baby.”

One eye roll later, they finished their liquid breakfast and began to prepare for the day, her ears constantly searching for the sound of a distant motorbike engine.

———

Later that day, her and Remus apparated to the Potter’s in silence, Sirius and Peter traveling separately. The second they arrived on the doorstep, she ran inside without so much as a knock. James was waiting in the entryway.

“Hiya,” he grinned. She’d never seen him glow like this, light practically radiated out of every pore of his body.

She threw both arms around his neck, “Congratulations Jamie!” He hugged her back, swaying them both.

“Thank you, he’s…he’s perfect,” he had tears in his eyes as she pulled away.

“Where’s Lils?” She was anxious to see her friend, and the newest little addition to their band of marauders. James motioned up the stairs, and she quickly bounded up to the second floor as quietly as possible to not wake the baby. Soft voices could be heard coming from the last room at the end of the hallway, and she followed the sound to find her friend reclining on a large four poster bed, a small bundle cradled in her arms. As she pushed the door open wider, she recognized the familiar scent of smoke and spice, goosebumps cascading up her arms as she tried to ignore it. Sirius sat in an armchair near the top of the bed, eyes shooting to her as she entered.

Lily looked up, “Hi,” she smiled. Remus and James entered the bedroom quietly, while she moved to sit beside her friend on the bed.

Lily moved the blanket to show off the baby’s chubby little face and unruly dark hair atop his tiny head.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, “Lily…he’s gorgeous…” Tears welled as her friend beamed, the baby stirring in her arms.

“Want to hold him? He’s very calm, I’m almost worried that he’s not James’—“ Lily shifted to place the baby into her waiting arms, “—I’m joking darling, relax.” James was giving her a non-amused glare from across the room. Lily sat back against the headboard, watching as her friend held her son.

“Meet Harry James Potter,” Lily smiled at her. Baby Harry nuzzled into the blankets, and she leaned down to kiss his forehead.

“Hi Harry,” she cooed, running a finger over his soft black hair, “Welcome to this truly bizarre, but incredibly loving family.”

Remus chuckled from the foot of the bed, shifting closer to get a look at their friend’s new baby. Sirius moved to sit beside her (a bold choice if she was honest), peering at the little boy held in her arms. She could feel his body heat like a homing beacon calling to her.

“I think he looks like you Prongs,” Sirius brushed a gentle hand over Harry’s head, “…how unfortunate.”

Lily giggled.

“I swear Pads,” James said with barely restrained annoyance, “if you weren’t inches away from my son right now…”

Sirius smirked, focus turned back to the baby. Harry yawned, opening his little eyes to reveal twin versions of Lily’s exact emerald coloring. He reached out a chubby hand and latched onto her finger, simultaneously gripping her heartstrings as well. Everything terrible was forgotten; the war, the fighting, the deaths, the uncertainty. All of it melted away as she stared at this new little life, the perfect combination of her two best friends. Sirius must have felt it too, because he bent down and placed a soft kiss to her shoulder, never saying a word as he ran another hand over Harry’s tiny head.

———

They apparated back home just before dinner to let their friends relax with their new baby. The mood between the three of them was still tense, but seeing Harry seemed to alleviate some of the animosity. Remus ushered her inside the house with a gentle hand on her lower back, Sirius following closely behind.

“Chinese for dinner?” Remus asked to no one in particular. Sirius made a grunt of approval.

“Get whatever, I’m going to shower and probably go to bed early,” she was exhausted from the past few days, hell, from the past few weeks if she was being honest. Remus didn’t press as she left them both in the living room to meander down the hall towards the small bathroom.

She let the water heat to near boiling before stepping under the stream, releasing an audible sigh as the scalding droplets washed away the leftover emotions. As she stood under the shower-head and inhaled the steam, the bathroom door opened.

“What happened to knocking?”

No response.

The door shut, and she continued her aquatic dissociation. The sound of shuffling beyond the shower curtain made her roll her eyes.

“Jesus Christ,” she groaned, “does nobody in this house respect boundaries?!”

Fully expecting the person standing against the counter to be Remus, she froze when she ripped open the curtain to see Sirius staring back. He didn’t say a word as he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. She glared at him, annoyed at his audacity. His face resembled nothing of the toxic person that had appeared a few nights ago, returning to the Sirius she fell in love with, the one that would do anything for her. He said her name as barely a whisper, the sound of which cracked her bitter shell.

“What are you doing?” She asked, voice still grasping at the remaining rage she harbored.

He moved closer, hand itching to touch her, “Apologizing…”

“Doesn’t sound like it to me,” she stared up at him, the spray of water warming her shoulders.

He sighed, “Can I touch you?” There was an undertone of pain in his voice as he searched her face for an answer.

“No.”

“Then can I at least stand under the water with you, it’s fucking cold over here.”

“Also no.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and groaned, “Fine, I deserve that.” She hummed in agreement.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t mean for everything to escalate like that, I just…I was so afraid, I had no idea where you were—“

She cut him off with a hand, “Being afraid is not an excuse for the way you acted, the way you spoke to me. You don’t treat the person you love like that, Sirius.”

His dark hair fell over his eyes as he bowed his head in shame.

“I joined the Order just like you did, we took the same oath. I wanted to go on that mission, no one else could’ve gone with Remus and I wasn’t about to let him face it alone. You of all people should understand that—”

“I know, I’m sorry—“

“I only lied to you because I was sworn to not say a word of it to anyone other than the people directly involved. God, it was eating me alive, Sirius.” She dipped her head back into the stream of water to center herself again. “We both knew the risks when joining the Order, we knew that we’d be under a constant threat of danger and need to make sacrifices—“

“What if i’m not willing to make some sacrifices?” Sirius dared to run a hand along her arm, ending with a gentle grasp of her wrist. The touch sent shockwaves rolling through her body.

“I’m not sure if we have a choice in the end,” she whispered, reaching out to trace her fingertips up his side. It was pathetic how much she needed him. It had only been a few days and she was practically gnawing at the bit to touch him, hold him, just be near him.

Sirius threw caution to the wind and pulled her into his chest gently, allowing her to melt against his body. She almost moaned at the contact, but kept her voice in check as she savored his warmth.

“I’ll always choose you,” he murmured into the top of her head.

She hummed in question.

He tipped her chin back to look him in the eye, “Out of any choice I’m given, it will always be for you.” He kissed her deeply, the rest of her anger instantly swirling down the drain.

Afterwards, as they laid in bed, tangled with each other, Sirius traced patterns on her back with his hand.

“I liked seeing you with Harry earlier,” he mused, eyes bright in the darkness of their bedroom.

She smiled at the thought of the little baby boy, “He’s quite possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He was quiet for longer than a few heartbeats, brows furrow slightly in thought. “Have you ever thought about having children?” He asked cautiously.

The thought of bringing a child into the world at the present moment was absolutely insane to her; how Lily and James were doing it was beyond comprehension. She exhaled slowly, “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t ever thought about it. What about you?”

Sirius would be an excellent father, growing up with a family like his had shown him precisely what not to do, so she had no doubt he’d love his own children with every atom in his being. The thought made her heart swell.

Sirius’s mouth lifted at the corner, “I’ve toyed with it.”

She matched his smile, “A tiny version of you, with the same big blue eyes running around causing mayhem?”

Sirius’s grin widened, “I’d teach them how to fly as fast as her mum used to on the quidditch pitch.”

The image made her tear up a little. She’d never given serious thought to children and the future until more recently. War did that. The uncertainty of each day, never knowing if your friends and partners would come back home after a mission. Too many of them had been lost, too many of them had plans that were snuffed out. She didn’t want to feel sad anymore, didn’t want to worry if today would be the last day she made coffee for Remus, or the last time she spoke to Lily and James. More than anything, she just wanted the chance at a future, a future with Sirius.

She brushed his hair back from his beautiful face,”Let’s get through the war first, love. We’ve got time.”

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wastelandmoony · 1 month ago

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Déjà Vécu: The Prophecy

Chapter Thirty-Five : The Prophecy

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI.

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

Companion Playlist

Read on AO3

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December 15th, 1979

Autumn of 1979 was the emotional equivalent of whiplash. Peter began to attend more frequent Order meetings again, much to her excitement (and also surprise). The moment he walked through the door, she had smiled so broadly that her cheeks hurt. He sat beside her, falling into easy conversation as if nothing was amiss. James seemed to be happy their friend was back too; she clocked the spark in his eyes from across the room.

In mid-November, an emergency meeting was called to discuss the newly found evidence of a spy within the Order. The thought alone brought dread, though the worst part being the fact that it was someone they had grown to know and trust. Even possibly a friend.

They met up at their flat after the meeting, James, Lily, and Peter apparating over to drape themselves over their living room, firewhisky in hand, trying to sort through the swirling doubts and speculations they all seemed to be struggling with.

“There’s no way it’s any of the Weasley’s,” she took a sip of her drink, leg pressed tightly against Sirius’s on the couch. Remus shook his head sadly from the floor.

James sighed thoughtfully, “I feel like maybe Dumbledore is mistaken…”

Sirius downed his whisky and set the empty cup on the coffee table, “It’s obviously Moody.”

She rolled her eyes, “We’ve been over this…”

He shrugged half-heartedly, “I still don’t trust him, and nothing you, Dumbledore, or Kingsley say can change my mind.”

“He does kind of scare me though,” she mumbled, Lily smirking at her over the lip of her glass.

“Honestly, I know this sounds insane,” James swallowed a mouthful of whisky, grimacing slightly, “but it’s not any of us, and that gives me a little peace of mind knowing we still have each other.”

She smiled, leaning into Sirius’s side as he slung an arm around her. The statement did give her a little bit of relief, and as she looked around at the faces of her closest friends, she relaxed slightly. James Potter, ever the optimist, saw her smile and grinned back.

———

The news of the spy hung over their heads heavily, but come late autumn the only thing she could think about was Lily. She’d stopped by Potter Manor at her friend’s request one evening, assuming it would be another one of their usual relaxing nights filled with ciders and movies. When she arrived however, the look on Lily’s face was one of thinly-restrained distress.

“I have something to show you,” she choked out rather abruptly, pulling her upstairs to the small bathroom off of the master suite.

She took in her friend’s slightly disheveled appearance and frantic movements, “Are you…alright, Lils?”

Lily shut the bathroom door quietly, leaning against it. “I—I’m not sure.”

She raised an eyebrow as her friend dug through the sink cabinet, the sound of hollow tapping against the counter followed. Lily inhaled deeply, and finally sat on the edge of the tub, motioning toward the countertop. Peering over, she could see three white pieces of plastic lined up, each of which showcased two defined pink lines in each of their tiny oval windows.

“Lily…” she whispered apprehensively.

“I don’t—what do I do?” Her friend whimpered, “We didn’t…we didn’t plan for this, we’re too young. I can’t bring a baby into the world now, not in the middle of a war! Oh god, James is going to be so upset—“

Hearing her thoughts spiral out loud, she grabbed Lily by the shoulders gently, kneeling in front of her on the floor.

“Don’t for a single moment believe that James is not going to lose his mind with excitement. That man was born to be a brilliant father, and we all know it. Hell, he’s been taking care of Sirius and Peter for ages.”

Lily smiled softly, tears lining her lashes.

“And you’ll be the best mum. You have all of us to support you as well. Your baby will be so loved, Lils…”

She watched as Lily closed her eyes, breathing deeply to collect herself. “I don’t even know how to tell him.”

Shrugging, she returned her question with a grin, “We can brainstorm if you want. Either way, James is going to freak out in the best way possible, I promise.”

Later that night after she left, the phone rang in the flat. Remus answered, and she eavesdropped from the living room. A few seconds later, she could faintly hear James yelling on the phone, “I’m going to be a dad!”

She smiled to herself on the couch, listening as Remus stuttered and tried to wrap his brain around the thought. When Sirius got out of the shower a few minutes later, they both recanted the news to his bewildered face, laughing as he rushed to call James and hear it from the man himself.

———

March 7th, 1980

Nothing lasts forever. As winter reared its brutal head, she was humbly reminded of a devastating Kinks song that James had played on repeat during year 4 after Lily had started to pretend he didn’t exist. She remembered entering the boy’s dorm to borrow a text from Remus, only to find James lying on the wooden floor like a starfish, blasting the Kinks at full volume while he stared at the ceiling solemnly. Sirius had looked at her with quiet desperation from his own bed, his eyes screaming for help. “He’s been like this for hours,” he moaned. They’d all had to endure the song for days if anyone dared to walk into the dorm, finally deciding to hang out in the common room instead of James’s new depression dungeon. Years later, she found the lyrics running through her head as she listened to Dumbledore inform them of a prophecy involving Lily’s unborn son. Nothing lasts forever.

A numbness began to wash over, beginning at her feet and slowly rising. The prophecy foretold of a boy born in July that would be more powerful than Voldemort himself, and that “either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives”. Lily was shaking as she stood silently and left the room, James quickly following in a panic. Sirius was out of his seat instantly, fists clenched and ready to fight against anything and everything.

“We have to do something! We have enough information to—“

Dumbledore held up a hand, “I cannot in good faith send Order members to attack based on a prophecy.”

“So what’s the plan then?” He spat. The old headmaster remained calm and unfazed. “We all just pretend this isn’t a problem and wait for the Dark Lord himself to come and finish off my best mate and his family?”

She sat frozen in her chair, staring blankly at the exchange. Beside her, Remus was fidgeting with his lighter, but she couldn’t even bring herself to take his hand in reassurance.

Dumbledore inclined his head, “Not in the slightest. We believe it is in the best interest of the Potter’s to be placed into hiding. None will know of their whereabouts besides a designated secret-keeper.”

She looked up at him finally, voice soft with barely contained devastation, “So we won’t know where they are? We won’t be able to see them?”

The corner of Dumbledore’s mouth upturned only slightly, “Unless the secret-keeper volunteers the information.”

“We’d want you lot to know, obviously,” James had reemerged into the room, eyes red and slightly watery. His eyes shot between her, Remus, Sirius, and Peter, “If we decide to hide, that is. Lily needs…we need time to digest all of this.”

Dumbledore dipped his head gently, “I would caution you, Mr. Potter. Divulging your location should you go into hiding could lead to slip-ups—“

“I trust them with my life,” James bristled, shooting Dumbledore with an uncharacteristic glare.

“Do you trust them with your son’s, though?” The headmaster asked calmly.

There was no hesitation before James spoke again, “Without a doubt.”

———

July 28th, 1980

The fact that she was lying to Sirius ate away at the lining of her stomach. She swore he could smell the lie with his animagus abilities, a thought that was prominent ever since she’d been given the assignment by the Order.

“—just for a girls day. We’re going to uh…set up some more of the nursery stuff, do our nails…I dunno, boring stuff like that,” she walked quickly out of their bedroom to avoid looking Sirius directly in the eye. Grabbing her bag from the coffee table, she mentally checked if she had everything needed for the mission, all of which had been packed for days.

“When will you be back?” He furrowed his brows, not in suspicion she noticed, but at her absence. She wanted to melt into the floor.

She kissed him, relishing in the feeling of his mouth on hers, “I’ll be back later tonight.”

Sirius held her close, capturing her lips into another passionate kiss, finally relinquishing her body back to her. “Give Lily my love,” he said as she opened the front door.

“I’ll tell Prongs you say hello,” she placed a foot over the threshold, “I love you.”

“I love you more, bee.”

The closing of the door sounded like a nuclear blast as she stood at the top of the stairs overlooking the alley. She took a deep breath, and apparated to where Remus was waiting.

———

The little coffee shop just off of Church Street was bustling with midday patrons when she arrived. The rendezvous point was chosen due to its proximity within the heart of muggle Sheffield, a place where no supporter of Voldemort would likely set foot. Remus was posted up at a table near the back, cup of black coffee on the little round table in front of him, face obscured by a beat-up Dostoyevsky novel. Skirting between customers and tables, she took a seat across from him and let out a breath. His left eyebrow cocked.

“Morning,” her voice was hollow.

“It’s 1:30,” he deadpanned, pushing his coffee towards her as an offering. She took a sip, the heat somehow soothing the storm raging in her gut.

“So what’s the plan?” She set the cup back down on the table, keeping a hand curled around it for grounding purposes.

Remus didn’t remove his eyes from the pages of the book, “Meeting begins at 7, but Dumbledore wants us to poke around a few places first to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary.”

“Gotcha…”

His eyes shifted to stare at her from over the book, “Relax, love. Everything’s going to be fine.”

She sighed, the tension in her shoulders never easing, “I know, I’m overreacting. I just…I hate lying to Sirius. I feel like we should’ve told him.”

Remus finally set the book down on the table. “He’s a big boy, he can handle having the truth withheld from him for Order purposes. He’ll understand. We both are also more than aware of why he can’t know, and why he couldn’t come. It’s safer for everyone involved, he would’ve blown our cover.”

She nodded glumly, knowing that Remus was forever and always the voice of reason. He reached across the table and picked up the coffee, draining the rest and standing up. “Let’s get going, I’m getting restless just sitting here.”

She followed him out of the shop and out onto the sunny street, keeping a step behind as he led the way. Stretching his hand out, she grabbed onto it like a lifeline, lacing their fingers together as they walked to the first location.

———

The meeting was being held in the basement of an old recreation center in the southern section of the city. The two of them had hashed out the details of the mission earlier while wandering around, though all of the preparation in the world wouldn’t have stopped her heart palpitations as they drew closer to their destination. They had been advised that this would be a “no combat” mission, meaning that the end goal was strictly recon and gathering intel. The Order had received a tip that Death Eaters would be trying to recruit at a Lycanthrope support meeting being held by a local branch of Werewolf Support Services. Her and Remus were the only ones chosen for the job, due to her work with WSS and his…obvious affliction. The Order wanted any information they could gather, including but not limited to Death Eater identities, future plans, and number of new recruits. They both would adopt aliases for the night, new names and fake backstories to avoid detection.

Remus pulled her gently to the side as they rounded the corner of an industrial building; the area was pretty deserted at this point in the evening, the surrounding buildings mostly housing factories and workshops, long vacated for the day by their respective employees. She peered into a foggy window curiously as Remus got her attention again.

“Hey, put this on.”

She looked up only to be tossed his sweater, the soft fabric warming her hands. “What’s this for?”

Remus pulled his brown leather jacket over his t-shirt, “Our covers are that we’re both…y’know, infected—“

“—that’s outdated terminology…”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Anyway, it would help if you actually…smelled the part.” He sniffed noncommittally.

She furrowed her brows, “Please don’t sniff me, you weirdo.” Her eyes quickly widened when her thoughts caught up. “Wait, can you smell if a person is a werewolf?”

Remus nodded shallowly. “It’s not like, unique person-to-person, but lycanthropes have a slightly different scent that regular people.”

She gaped at him, finally throwing the sweater over her head and tugging up the too-long sleeves.

When they arrived at the rec center, a handful of people were already milling about the decently sized room, some talking nervously with their heads close together, others laughing and jostling each other around like old friends. A few of them had seen better days, covered in filth with random mismatched clothes that had been through the wringer. Remus had to physically grab her arm to steer her towards a chair at the back of the room to prevent her from offering help, actual help, from a Ministry official.

After almost an hour of waiting and observing the guests, a man finally rose at the front of the room and urged everyone to take a seat (if they could find one that is, the place was now packed). He was tall and broad, with a dark head of hair shaved close. The angles of his face were sharp and too abrupt, the lights of the rec center basement creating dramatic shadows from above.

“Welcome,” he boomed from the front, “I’m happy you all could join us. My name is Hughes, and I’m here to talk about something near and dear to my heart,” he put a large scarred hand against his chest, “—Lycanthropy.”

A smatter of laugher ran around the room, the sound giving her chills. Werewolves had never scared her, but in this room, surrounded by this many vulnerable (albeit wildly dangerous) individuals being provoked by the most deadly threat to their world, she felt herself struggling to keep her heartbeat in check. Everything could go wrong at the drop of a hat.

“I—like many of you—“ Hughes continued, beginning to stride up and down the front row of seats, “have what the rest of the world considers a disease. But I don’t like to use the term ‘infected’, or ‘bitten’, or ‘affliction’…I prefer empowered.”

A few murmurs rumbled, and she watched as a few people began to smile. Beside her, Remus was the picture of stoicism.

“For as long as we’ve existed,” Hughes voice rose, “werewolves have been shoved to the bottom dregs of society. Shunned, beaten, and tossed aside by our Wizarding brethren. I think it’s about time we got back up. We think it’s about time we rose up the ranks.” He motioned to either side of the aisle, ten cloaked figures filing into the room and flanking him at the front. As they removed their hoods, she felt the blood drain from her body. Evan Rosier was standing beside Hughes, a politician’s smirk across his beautiful face, beside him like a shadow was Barty.

“Fuck…” she whispered, stiffening in her seat. He followed her gaze to their former classmates and quickly ducked his head. “They’ll blow up our spot the first chance they get,” she hissed. Glancing at the main doors, two more hooded Death Eaters waited on either side.

“We can’t leave yet,” he muttered back, “not without drawing attention to ourselves.”

Remus hunched down, and she prayed they were indecipherable from this far back. Hughes began to pontificate once more, looking every bit the dark savior that he was pretending to be, flanked by his cloaked angels.

“—I was lucky enough to be welcomed into a society that doesn’t discriminate based on breed—“

Remus bristled, “Just blood status…” he murmured for only her to hear, and despite their current predicament, she fought a smile.

“—The Dark Lord welcomes all into his care! He will raise the lycanthropes to statuses of power! No more will we be forced to hide in the shadows, shunned from work or places of ‘civilized society’. No more will we need to worry about the registry! With The Dark Lord in power, the Ministry will no longer interfere with the affairs of werewolves. We will finally be free!”

The previous smattering of murmurs and whispering was now becoming cheers; the sound of which grated on her ears, making her blood run cold. Remus stared intently at the back of the chair in front of him, and she could only imagine the thoughts running through his head. The promises that Hughes was making sounded phenomenal, she couldn’t argue with it, she just knew they were blandishments. She looked around the room at the cheering, hopeful faces of these poor, vulnerable people.

It took everything in her to not break down crying.

———

Once Hughes had gotten down from his soapbox, the meeting officially ended, but none of the participants made any attempt to leave. Instead, the vast majority milled about the space, most biting at the chance to speak with one of The Dark Lord’s mouthpieces. The air was electric, everyone in attendance being given a new hope for their future, or at least that’s what they were promised if they chose to join the ranks.

Her and Remus hid behind a group of 5 lycanthropes deep in conversation, peering every so often to the far side of the room to wait for Evan to be distracted enough to make a swift getaway. Their chance finally came when he was roped into a discussion with an extremely disheveled, and very enthusiastic, young werewolf (the poor girl had stars in her eyes as she stared up at Evan’s rictus of mild disgust). Remus grabbed her hand and quickly pulled her toward the main doors, only to be stopped by a familiar slimy voice.

“Well, well…”

Her blood ran cold as they turned to see Barty leering at them, Evan sidling up to his left with a cool grin. Remus immediately put a steadying hand on her lower back.

“You two are a long way from home,” Evan said cheerfully, though the malice behind it was not lost on her. “What brings you to our humble little gathering?”

Words failed her as she tried to feebly grasp at any piece of their false backstory that she could salvage. Without missing a beat, Remus jumped in.

“Looks like you’ve made some interesting friends since school, Rosier.”

While Barty bristled, Evan crinkled his eyes.

“We were just leaving…” she murmured, leaning back into Remus. His hand pressed harder into her back as she looped an arm around him in return. Her palms were sweating as she quickly tried to map out viable escape routes.

Evan shook his head, chuckling airily. “I think you’re mistaken, love…” His eyes met hers and the intensity in them could’ve melted iron. “…the night’s just beginning.”

Fisting the back of Remus’s jacket, she felt something hard tucked into his waistband and upon realization, she acted out the most insane, knee-jerk plan (not her brightest moment, arguably).

As Barty and another Death Eater moved to grab them, she ripped Remus’s wand out of his waistband, aiming a wordless shot at the ceiling above. The plaster began to fall in large chunks, and she quickly tore Remus away toward the main doors behind them. The Death Eaters weren’t deterred for long, but it did buy them precious seconds. As they ran down the labyrinth of alleyways, the sound of pounding footsteps followed. They needed to put enough space between them to apparate safely without risking a tag-along, so she began to shoot. Flashes of light bounced back through the alley as she fired spell after spell at the pursuing Death Eaters. Remus did the same ahead of her, his long legs carrying him much more swiftly. As she turned to cast again, she locked eyes briefly with Barty, hot on her tail. The heat of a curse flew by her head and she winced. A moment later, her arm burned like it was on fire. Looking down, she had a large gash on her bicep, and she didn’t need to guess who fired the blow. Remus screamed at her to hurry, and she forced her body to push through the searing pain to close the distance between them. He reached back to grab her hand, and the last thing she remembered was his fingers grazing hers before everything went black.

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