#this is not directed towards any single user

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Something I want to clear up:

I don’t hang out in political spaces on tumblr. I have my mutuals, my little sideblog where I scream about my ships, and here, where I talk about history.

I don’t have time to do a deep dive through the blog of everyone who engages with me to determine if they’re problematic. I go by the nature of our interaction, and the first five posts on their blog.

If you want me to take the time I need to spend on my book and my job search and devote it instead to tracking leftist and/or Jewish tumblr,* I can set up a Patreon and you can pay me for my takes; as a freelancer I charge hourly between $30-$60/hr depending on the nature of the task.

I also offer freelance services in the following categories: tutoring, non-fiction developmental editing, humanities research, and Chicago-style footnote formatting.

*this sentence gives Jewish Gestapo collaborator blech

[officialclangen]

CLANGEN UPDATE: CLANCOPHONY

(Download the update here, or via your in-game auto-updater!)

Hello furriends and Clanmates! We hope you have all lined your nests with feathers and moss; leaf-bare is here, and so is our next release!

Our lovely developers have been reinforcing the camp walls with new features for moons now. With the new release, you can direct your warriors' focus, befriend/antagonize the other Clans, invite in outsiders, choose symbols for your Clans, experience our new sound system, and more! ❄️

If you are having issues with your anti-virus flagging ClanGen, please look to this post for a guide on how to fix it.

Our changelog is very long, so it will be below the cut ❤️

Features

CLAN FOCUS: New feature accessed via the Warrior's Den. Direct your warriors' Focus towards specific goals, such as feeding the Clan or sabotaging other neighboring Clans. When the Focus is changed, there is a cooldown of 3 moons before it can be changed again, so choose wisely! Please note that some Focuses aren't accessible in Classic mode and that some Focuses require certain cat ranks to be present.

PRONOUNS: Wow! The cats have pronouns other than they/them? Yes it's true! Cats can now naturally generate with they/them, he/him, or she/her pronouns. Want a cat to have different pronouns than those options? You can do that to! Check out their profile page and the Change Gender option to add any pronoun under the sun. These pronouns will be used in text throughout the game when referring to that cat (give a big hand to our writing team for the monumental amount of work they did to get pronouns integrated into all the text!) Please note a new game setting to revert the game to only generating they/them pronouns for all cats.

LEADER'S DEN: You can now access the Leader's Den to view the other Clans neighboring your Clan as well as the known Outsiders. Decide how you want to interact with these other cats: will you appease the hostile Clans? Or antagonize them further? Will you hunt down that one pesky rogue? Or perhaps you've decided an exiled Clanmate should be allowed a second chance…

CLAN SYMBOLS: You can now choose a Clan symbol during Clan creation. Other Clans also generate with symbols, which you will see in the Leader's Den. There are currently 484 symbols available to choose from, a roster that we plan to continue expanding with each stable update. Please note that old Clan saves will not be able to choose a Clan symbol in-game, though save editing to change the symbol is relatively simple. When loading an old save, the game will attempt to assign a symbol matching with it's prefix, if no symbol exists then it will randomly choose a symbol.

CLASSIC CONDITIONS: Classic mode can now access illnesses, injuries, and permanent conditions! Please note that this still differs in some ways from Expanded mode. In Classic Mode, a single medicine cat can care for the entire Clan, specific herb amounts are not displayed on the med den screen, an herb will treat a condition regardless of the Clan's actual herb amounts, the Clan's herb supply is randomly generated and is not dependent on events.

AUDIO: What in StarClan?? Clangen with sound!? Clangen now comes with shiny new sound effects and one very lovely music track that plays during Clan creation. More music is on the horizon… and don't worry! There is a handy dandy mute button in the corner of the screen and audio settings to control music/ambiance and sound effects volume separately.

QoL

Fullscreen new and improved! Art no longer looks oddly crunched and the black frame has been replaced with pretty background art. This comes with a new setting to turn off anti-aliasing and a setting to ignore fullscreen scaling rules, just in case you want it a little extra large (please note that this setting will come with some visual quirks if enabled)

You can now search cats on the mediator page

More special characters are allowed in user notes

Leaders can now be affected by mass extinction events

Mass extinction events are now limited to affecting 11 cats at most, but they can occur multiple times in a single moon.

When leaders die of starvation, they now revive with enough nutrition to bring them up to malnourished, giving a little extra time to find food before starving once more.

Moon events that previously mentioned an Outsider, but did not generate an Outsider cat, will now generate an Outsider

Moon events that mention an Outsider can now pull an Outsider from the existing list of Outsiders, rather than generating a new one

War events will now match with the affect of the overarching war event for that moon (i.e. if the Clans are having peace talks that moon, no clan relation lowering events will occur at the same time)

More moon events are now recorded in the relationship log if they changed a relationship

"show dead/living" button on cat list is now "view dead/living"

"filtered by" button on cat list is now "sort by"

Last and First page buttons are now available on the cat list screen.

Players can now input a page number on the cat list screen to move to that page immediately

Leader death history now displays as a single sentence for each death, rather than one long run-on sentence

Custom cursor setting now comes with a warning about increased chance of crashes

All text (or at least, the vast majority) can now be copy-pasted!

Buttons on moon events that lead to the profiles of cats involved now generates a horizontal scroll bar if the buttons go off-screen

If a moon event had no cats specifically involved, the involved cat button no longer displays

Alert exclamation marks now persist until the tab is clicked

When keybinds are on, you can now use the arrow keys to move up and down the event tab buttons, and the enter button to switch to the selected tab

Cats can now be quickly added to and removed from patrols via double clicking

Herb moon events no longer destroy herb supplies in their entirety (with the exception of one war event) and any large destruction events no longer occur if herb stores are already low

Herb gained on moonskip and patrols has been slightly buffed

Relationship value changes when cats break up is now dynamic, meaning some break ups have larger impacts than others

Newborn kits are now listed in the involved cat buttons on moon events

Quick start! You can click Quick Start at the beginning of Clan Creation to skip to the end. All choices will be made randomly

Content

100s of new patrol art additions

Many many new patrols! Many requiring specific traits or skills.

New outcomes for existing patrols! Many requiring specific traits or skills.

New Camps! The Mountainous camp, Ruins, and the Beach camp, Fjord.

New moon events, such as murders and new ways to gain accessories.

Literally 1000+ new relationship events

Many many new thoughts, many of which are exclusive to certain traits, ages, conditions, seasons, and skills

New leader ceremony possibilities, many of which are exclusive to cats of certain traits (both the dead cats and the new leader)

Prefix list updated to include new canon names (looking at you, Stretchkit)

Many new loner/kittypet names

Many outcomes for Leader Den events, many of which are specific to certain skills, traits, and ages

New events for pregnancy announcements and speculations

New grief events and thoughts

New accessories!

Bugfixes

Murders will no longer occasionally crash the game

Fixed a bug caused by the training app murder event

You can no longer sort living cats by death date

Players no longer get stuck in the med den backrooms (when accessing the med den through cat profiles, the back button would return you to the cat profile. attempting to back out of the cat profile would take you back to the med den. rinse and repeat, it's a loop)

Buttons now disable/enable properly when closing relationship logs on first and last cats in the cat list

You can no longer enter negative page numbers by clicking the back button very very fast

Leaders now receive appropriate birth event text when dying from childbirth

Outsider kittens can no longer join as warriors

Long term conditions, like wasting disease, will now display in leader's history if they took a life

When leaders are lost on patrol, patrol result text no longer mentions them by their warrior name

Litters can no longer spawn with duplicate names (i.e. two kits named Stonekit)

Medicine cats captured by twolegs no longer have their role erased

Cat history no longer lists cats as murdering themselves

Kicked cats out of the walls (fixed some possible cat positionings on camp screen)

Adolescents can no longer be considered "normal adults" in patrols simply because they graduated to warrior early.

Kits adopted during moon events now receive correct inheritance info and begin with a positive relationship toward new adoptive parent(s)

Mates of adoptive parents now automatically adopt any newly adopted kits received on moonskip

Check added for matching age when assigning random romantic relationship values at Clan creation

When assigning random relationship values at Clan creation, the Guide cat will now only generate relationships with living cats old enough to have known the Guide in life.

Adopted litters now always generate with a bio parent, ensuring their inheritance lists them as littermates

The generation of half-clan litters no longer assumes the birthing parent can only be the (biologically) female parent (this is important for "ignore biology" game setting)

Cats with no romantic interest in each other will no longer receive romance decreasing events

Poly cat love confessions no longer read as though one cat is asking their dead mate for permission before accepting a new cat into the polycule.

Rosemary is no longer applied to the "dead body" of a lost cat

Affair birth events no longer mention nonexistent mates

Fixed mistagging in patrols that would lead to unintended effects

Many small UI issues

Many small sprite fixes

Many typo fixes

[eliciana]

SAGAU SERIES: Misunderstandings

-> Chapter 1 | Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4 (Here)| Chapter 5 |...

Masterlist

Blog Navigation

_________________________________________

Tw: Sagau, Cult!Au

Reader: Gn!Reader, Creator!Reader, God!Reader

Characters: Reader, Unknown Voice, Ganyu, Keqing, Aquilo

Note: Revised and corrected spelling mistakes

____________________________________

You’ve been acting like a fool for an entire hour now. Honestly, you feel like those hero days you have imagined after knowing you are the Creator is now over. You can’t even bring out a single dirt out of your fingertips. Even resulting to saying “Abracadabra” didn’t even work. Might as well give up right now. Is what you would have said if you were a little bitc- /jk. You once again paced around your now new entirely furnished house.

“Hm. What to do? What to do?” Either you were tapping your foot or going around in circles trying to figure out how to fix your predicament, there was no in between. Maybe you should try imagining the magic you were going to summon? That is a possibility. After all, it always somehow works in the novels or Mangas that you always read. Or perhaps touching the Statues of the Seven? It worked for the Traveler, why wouldn’t it work for you? Yet, the thought of the Vision users or Archons catching you caused dread to cloud your mind.

You released a heavy sigh, settling onto the plush sofa provided by the Hilichurls, acquired possibly through less-than-licit means from a merchant's carriage. The sofa's appearance of comfort was not deceiving; its cushioning enveloped you like a gentle cloud. Yet, as you indulged in this luxurious moment, a voice within chided you.

[Why are you procrastinating right now, dear Creator? Shouldn’t you be trying to find out how to summon magic so you could eat the cuisines you said you wanted to try above the surface? This is not a moment for leisure, Your Majesty, chop chop time is ticking.]

“Oh, shut up!” you yelled furiously. Your outburst cut through the tranquil ambiance, a vehement assertion against the nagging voice. You sat up once again, parting ways with the plush sofa. “I need to do this. For the food!” you told yourself repeatedly.

“This time, let’s try to envision it more vividly.” You took a deep breath in and tried to relax your muscles. “I got this. I got this. This is an easy task, [Reader]. You have always done this every time you sleep. Imagining as if [Fave Character] is beside you, snuggling with you as you sleep.” It did help in cheering you on. With your eyes shut, you visualized a delicate wisp of Anemo energy twirling around your fingertips. [Just small though. Don’t overdo it. You might summon a tornado and your house will be gone.] The voice ringed in your head once again. [That’s right. You’re doing good.] It said once again.

Seconds after, you felt a small breeze in front of you. Did you really did it? Can you finally eat all the foods you want? You took a small peek and you opened your eyes immediately. Your eyes shined like the stars below.

“Yes! I did it!” You ran towards the kitchen and picked up the slime that was dazedly looked at you. “Aquilo, love! I did it! Look! I can use magic!” Excitedly, you showed him the small wind that formed at the tip of your index finger. “I CAN FINALLY EAT THE CUSINES I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO EAT AT THE SURFACE! MY REDEMPTION ARC IS HAPPENING! JUST YOU CHARACTERS WAIT! I WILL NO LONGER BE AFRAID OF ANY OF YOU AFTER I MASTERED MY MAGICAL PROWESS!” You yelled vigorously and laughed like a madman. Aquilo is truly concerned for your health.

_________________________________________

“The Traveler hasn’t been showing up. I am quite concerned for them. Ever since the Creator was said to have descended upon our land, the Traveler was never seen again. Do you think they went ahead and tried to find Their Majesty, Keqing?” Asked Ganyu solemnly.

“Perchance. The Traveler is, after all, the one closest to Their Majesty the most and is the direct Acolyte. They may have felt Their Majesty’s aura and decided to follow it and never told us because they were rushing.” Keqing deduced. From the reports gathered, it was said that The Traveler after finishing all of their commissions suddenly ran towards a waypoint and disappeared to who knows where. Even the Archons don’t know where they might be as of now.

“Finding The Creator would have been much easier if The Traveler was only here.” Keqing looked at the starry sky above the Jade Chamber.

Ganyu's brow furrowed as she pondered aloud, her voice tinged with genuine concern. “I truly wish that we would be able to locate Their Majesty sooner. I wonder why They have run away from the Favonius Knights…” she mused, the weight of the situation pressing heavily on her mind.

_________________________________________

A/n:Hi guys. Sorry for the very very very very late update of this Series. My school sucks as* and they give so many assessments so I coudln't finish the draft. So sorry, I promise to drop the next chapter either 20-21 or 27-28 of April. If not, i'm probs dead with all of the projects we do. Lmao

[thydungeongal]

I definitely got us on a tangent, so I'm sending an ask to continue this thread of conversation (I know a lot of Tumblr users don't like when threads go off topic from the original post). It's really kind of funny to me that D&D 5e has flattened out the whole "heroes vs. villains" dynamic, because we saw in 4e and then even more in 5e the removal of alignment restrictions, so that (e.g.) you could play an evil paladin if you really wanted. But on the other hand, I remember very clearly the 3e Monster Manual including angels, with the exact same stat blocks as any other monster, heavily implying that you could fight them. I don't recall seeing anything like that in 4e or 5e; it's good aligned, why would you fight it?

I think both 4e and 5e do have stats for nominally "good" creatures in their monster books as well, but I can't be bothered to check right now. But to be fair, the dynamic of modern D&D is sort of an aggregate of a number of decisions that have each contributed to it, and it's not just, like, the result of a single conscious decision. Contributing factors include:

Combat balance and encounter design have become codified as features of the game that traditionally didn't traditionally particularly concern itself with balanced fights.

The game has become much more of a combat game where combat is where most of the gameplay is.

Adventures are more and more designed as a series of combat encounters with exploration between them.

Now, because combat is the desired outcome of the game instead of a means to an end, you don't want to moralize to players about "well what if combat is bad, actually?" So the combat encounters characters get into need to have as little moral ambiguity as possible.

What this leads is a type of gameplay where characters stumble from combat encounter to another while the narrative framing portrays the characters as doing the right thing in doing so.

Anyway, so point being that modern D&D is much more explicitly a heroic power fantasy than pre-WotC editions ever were (although 2e was already moving towards that direction with its adventure writing). And that's not a bad thing because it's a valid form of play, but I just happen to prefer moral ambiguity and characters not necessarily being heroic or even aspirational. So, you know, old-school "some assholes die in a ditch."

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Something that hit me during this watch of TWD that not enough people talk about:

The way Daryl treats Judith when she's first born vs how Rick treats her.

Daryl despises Shane. They always have their differences and clearly do not get along, but the first time they get into a physical fight (aside from when Daryl is overly emotional at the mention of Merle being left behind) is when Shane says "if she (Sophia) saw you coming, all methed out with your buck knife and Geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction".

Shane is determined to abandon the search for Sophia because he thinks that she's dead. (And let's ignore for a bit that Shane is right.) Daryl is determined to find her. But the argument doesn't come to blows until Shane brings up Daryl being on drugs - which, I really don't think that Daryl was using from Merle's stash at this point. There is a mention of Daryl taking 'shrooms' before he saw the chupacabra, but I don't think he was an active drug user like Merle was - because I think he saw how addiction destroyed his parents and his brother and was likely someone more inclined to stay sober. Especially considering on the few occasions that he drinks, like at the moonshine shack with Beth, he is a very unhappy drunk.

So Daryl is insulted at the idea of him being a druggie and likely even more insulted at the idea of Sophia being afraid of him. Because (as we see with moments he has with the Claimers) the last thing he ever wants is to be a predator towards children or someone that children are afraid of. That is an insinuation from other people's lips that brings him to physical violence every single time.

So - then we have the prison era.

Something that is SO interesting to me:

When Carol and Daryl are on top of the bus during their first night at the prison, Carol comments that she doesn't have much food to offer Daryl and Daryl says in return "lil Shane over there got quite the appetite" - one, making the obvious joke that it's an affair baby, and two - almost lamenting the fact that Lori is pregnant and taking up more resources because of it.

(And I could do a whole different rant on the sexism of people "blaming" Lori for being pregnant and emotionally ousting her from the group because of it.)

But it's clear at this point that Daryl's general dislike for Shane and likely Lori on top of that means that he's inclined to dislike the baby too.

But the minute that the baby is actually tangible in the picture for him, he steps up as a protector because his general inclination toward protecting the vulnerable overtakes any hatred he had for Shane or Lori. And he immediately feels the need to protect Judith because she can't protect herself. (This protectiveness likely stemming from the fact that he was an abused child and he feels the need to ensure that no child ever suffers the way he does - the fact that when Sophia is lost, he immediately compares it to a time when he got lost in the woods and says that she is luckier than him because she has people looking for her. And he makes sure that fact stays constant. He needs to look for her so that she always has that advantage that he did not have. Someone caring for her that he did not have.)

And Rick - mourning is complicated and it does give me a lot more empathy for Rick during this storyline. But I find it so interesting how much distaste and disdain he immediately has toward Judith. In a sense, it's almost like he hates her because he knows that Judith is Shane's baby and it's almost as if Shane killed Lori? Because the pregnancy and giving birth killed her and if Shane hadn't gotten her pregnant then she would still be alive. Then there wouldn't have been that huge rift in their relationship, meaning he was so distant with her right up until her death, giving him so many regrets.

Shane killed their marriage in so many ways and Judith is a physical representation of that. And it is morbidly interesting to see how Rick treats her off the bat because of this - he won't look at her, he can't stand the sound of her cries. It's like she's a physical representation of Shane's ghost.

I fucking hate it when people say that Negan is "the father that stepped up" for Hershel Jr because that trope should actually be applied to Daryl and Judith. It's not "Uncle Daryl" - it's Little Asskicker and the father who made sure she made it past infancy.

[circular-bircular]

(Want context for this post? Here's the full post that instigated this one!)

I've sent an ask to OP (as their pinned post said to) asking genuinely why my response was hidden. However, I find now that even my main blog (which was the only blog I could send an ask from) is now blocked as well. For those curious, I did forget to screenshot my ask before sending it, but I believe this is akin to what I sent:

Hello, This is circular-bircular. I was wondering if you'd be willing to clarify why my response to your post was hidden and why (I believe) I am now blocked. I've looked at your pinned post, and I am wondering if you consider me to be part of the groups you listed, or maybe you blocked due to my aggression, or perhaps something else? Feel no obligation to answer. Thank you for your time.

It's been frustrating, lately, how users on all sides of these debates refuse to engage with criticism of any kind. But I also acknowledge that it is nobody's job to engage with criticism. OP is in their rights to block, and I am not frustrated about that.

What I am frustrated by is the sheer amount of notes that post got, with not a single other person -- seemingly -- remarking on the ableism in many of the claims.

I want to be able to discuss these things and gain new perspectives. I want to be allowed to be angry and upset about ableism I see, and discuss that ableism clearly, and maybe even learn from others where the flaws in my thinking are. Instead, my responses are hidden, and I feel once more shunted into the quiet corner, never able to be heard, because clearly something I said was wrong -- but nobody sees fit to explain what.

The worst part being, that post was in the disordered tags. That post was in my home; my supposed 'safe space' (though I use that term very, very loosely). It wasn't even meant to be a syscourse post, with "syscourse" not even being originally tagged...

And yet.

In any case -- as the ability to view my impassioned response has been limited, I decided to make my own post, about all of the various thoughts that I have at the moment about everything. Time for yet another long ass post. Word count, ahoy!

Plurality, as we know it today, is a relatively recent term. Plurality formed alongside and well within the CDD communities, and came to be popularized as a term sometime in the mid 90s.

It was coined explicitly to distance from medicalized CDDs. Specifically, it was used by the coiner (whom I believe is the Vicki(s) but I could be mistaken in my timeline here) as an alternative to "multiple." However, many people simply used Plural and Multiple interchangeably.

Equally as important to this history is the fact that, around this same time, Astraea's Web reared its ugly head. Forgive my distaste; however, this is the basis of a lot of the harassment I have faced as a DID system. Astraea's Web is the source of the term "natural multiplicity," and dedicated itself to the idea that MPD was not a disorder at all. While this was more than likely a case of endogenic plurals trying to find a place in a highly medicalized environment, it came at the cost of severe ableism directed toward medicalized systems.

This led directly to the spawning of "survivor multiples" and "empowered multiples," with empowered multiples being the ones who were nondisordered, and survivor multiples being seen as lesser, weaker, and highly dysfunctional. This led to countless amount of pain and suffering for systems of any and all kinds: endogenic, traumagenic, CDD, plural, and anywhere between. The Natural Multiplicity Movement, which called for systems to boycott the DID diagnosis altogether, really kicked off in the early 2000s, and led to countless conflicts with medicalized systems who fought hard to be recognized with the disorder they had.

Therefore, the claim that the sorts of Syscourse Divisions we see in modern day -- pro-endo VS anti-endo, traumagenic VS endogenic -- is a problem unique to the last decade is false. This dichotomy has existed far longer than that. I still consider this a recent issue (it happened within my lifetime, sadly), but to say that it started with the change from MPD to DID is inherently erasing the history many systems went through. Again, on all sides; the ableism CDD systems faced was happening at the same time as the ableism endogenic systems faced. It was just different breeds of the same problem.

Now, it is correct to state that endogenic as a term was not popularized before 2014; it was coined that year by a system by the name of Lunastus Co (then the Trashcan Collective, if I recall correctly). While I have certainly been vocal about my feelings regarding the term endogenic, they really don't have a place on this post; it suffices to say that endogenic was popularized to indicate non-trauma based plurality at that time. Similarly, traumagenic was popularized to indicate trauma based plurality at this time.

As an aside... reading the post I've found on the coining of endogenic, it's something I genuinely love. It's an unfortunate circumstance the commonalities endogenous and, well endogenous (Freud) share, but overall, I'm supremely jealous I'm not an older system who got to experience the joy of the endogenic community, and instead experienced so much hate.

This did create an uproar in the community, with quite a large division between traumagenic and endogenic systems. Similar to when any label is created, to be honest. The term endogeinc was very clearly meant to replace natural/healthy multiplicity, as the terminology was seen as offensive to traumagenic systems striving for recovery, indicating they were somehow "unnatural." This created even further divisions and divides between communities, something I believe Lunastus has lamented in recent years.

The claims against endogenic systems are numerous; as are the claims against traumagenic systems. As the dichotomy has always been, seemingly, Disordered VS Non-disordered and Trauma VS Non-trauma, it became easy to classify every struggle under that lens. That is where my history in syscourse comes into play, where I was fakeclaimed repeatedly, but moreso by endogenic systems, simply due to being traumagenic.

I was told repeatedly that saying I had DID was ableist, because DID was coined by an ableist man. This has already been debunked -- here's the most recent debunk, done by our lovely pluraldeepdive, as always. I was also told repeatedly that I couldn't have DID, for many reasons: because I was born rich, because my parents loved me, because I owned a freaking gamecube of all things. All of those to say: Endogenic systems frequently told me I was not traumatized enough to have DID.

Don't worry -- anti-endos don't get cut slack here either. Being told "if you really had DID, you'd be put in a mental hospital and raped repeatedly by the staff" certainly did not help me get confidence in reaching out to my life-saving therapist.

But the fact is, I was harassed more my endogenic systems and/or pro-endo systems than by traumagenic and/or anti-endo systems. The fact that I was harassed by any of them is already sheer ridiculousness.

Alright -- why the trauma rambling? The point here was, the ableism I faced, simply for being openly a DID system (mind you, who identified as pro-endo at the time) is still running rampant today.

Reading through LB Lee's two essays that were linked on the original post (at the top of this ramble), I was shocked to discover the same rhetoric I had been faced with repeatedly in all my years of syscourse. That traumagenic VS endogenic is an "internal pecking order so as to feel superior to each other" (rather than origin labels many use as liberally as LGBT+ labels). That disordered multiples "have a culture of overly deferring to their healthcare team: never making a move without asking the doc’s opinion, treating therapists as their parent replacements, relying on their shrinks for things they should really learn to do themselves, such as taking care of their internal children" -- this idea that all traumagenic systems are completely dysfunctional and unable to care for themselves. Continued onto the next lines immediately with "I met multiples who had been in care for decades, never improving, never seeming to learn any skills, but still absolutely enamored of their brilliant therapist (who they apparently couldn’t function without). These weren’t children either; these were people old enough to be my parents or grandparents!" This constant idea that you can examine someone else's systemhood and determine if they are healing "correctly" or not...

"I have seen no indication that traumagenic multiples, actually want to do those things, despite all their blathering about ableism."

This ableism comes from somewhere. The ableism I "blather" about has a source.

Sigh.

I don't have the energy to go through all of the article again, but it's heinous. It was horrifically offensive to me, even if I DO agree with many of the points it made! And that's likely because I have seen the same rhetoric over and over and over again, used against DID systems.

And it is still used consistently today.

As recently as the past 4 years, one of the OSDDID subreddits -- a meme one I believe -- completely combusted because some people made memes that were against endogeinc systems. Yet again, more syscourse bullshit. One of the moderators posted a big long ramble about how all anti-endos are just experiencing "traumagenic embitterment." This idea that all traumagenic systems who hate endogenic systems are just bitter to see "someone else doing better than them." I see this take frequently in plural and endogenic tags.

As recently as last year I saw endogenic systems calling for the removal of DID as a label entirely. Don't believe me?

Abolish all diagnostic terms! They're harmful!!

<- Is a system who feels most comfortable identifying with diagnostic terms.

As recently as maybe 4 months ago, I had to convince an endogenic system that saying RAMCOA was just "trumped up Satanic Temple bullshit" and was often "moral panic" was horrifically ableist. This was while another endogenic system bemoaned how they "couldn't believe anyone could ever do something so horrible" as RAMCOA.

As recently as last month, a friend of mine was rewriting an article about fusion, the original wording of which is firmly against final fusion and demonizes it. Said friend has repeatedly been called a sysmed for... defending final fusion and the ToSD for CDD systems.

As recently as yesterday, I was working on my debunk of a Power to the Plurals article that someone sent me in April, one that depicts the ToSD as inherently ableist and bad because... reasons? Mind you, the ToSD is the most prominent theory of how DID forms.

And then, as recently as today, I am trying to explain to someone who posted in the dissociative identity disorder tag with tags that I agree with, with points that I agree with, why the post they made about the "Bible of Psychiatry" was ableist and offensive. What a shame they've blocked me and likely will not be seeing this post, continuing to be ableist elsewhere.

All in the name of activism.

Ableism against DID systems is alive and well. I wish people would understand that. I wish people would see how pitying me in the plural spaces I'm in comes off as infantile. I wish people would see how "debunking" the most prominent theories and healing methods of DID is only hurting those of us who do align to them. I wish people would be willing to acknowledge the hurt they cause more readily.

And I wish that, as a DID system, I didn't have to become a historian on endogenic as a term, as a community, and as a personal source of pain.

Does this all make sense?

[fights4users]

I believed in the users once before | A system in disbelief

It’s so fascinating looking at legacy because basically in all of Flynn’s actions he has created the perfect situation to justify hatred and disbelief in the users.

Flynn did all the heavy work for Clu. There is no need to propagandize and lie when , in your view God has indeed abandoned you. He had taken a Polytheistic society that used to have more more individualized deities and inadvertently turned it Monotheistic. Between him constantly leaving and then going into hiding- to this society he truly has abandoned them. They have no other User input, requests, commands - he is it and he has left them.

As cycles go on belief wanes, this is a system that used to have direct and constant interactions with users and what they’re capable of and hasn’t in generations. Memory wanes, anger stews, distrust grows. And who comes in to pick up the pieces? Clu. He’s not making a single thing up, unlike most dictators he fully believes everything he spews and from a point of view… he’s right. (Again that’s terrifying).

Where the MCP had to forcefully capture and eliminate programs who still believed in the users (that he hadn’t assimilated or drained). Clu doesn’t. Belief was nearly stamped out organically!! In the grid it has truly become a cultish set of unwavering belief— unlike in Encom where it was a organic part of life stamped out by force. This is more “choosing to leave religion” if it’s comparative?

Those who fight in the games are strays- not regular programs but those broken or lost that are out just… wandering. Those are the ones that get tossed into the arena or rectified (from what we see in the movie) it’s not like the MCP. Clu doesn’t have to work so hard to get rid of belief because I cannot state enough, Flynn did all the heavy work himself.

In this grid the games are a purpose, horrific but using the infrastructure left behind by Flynn. Strays get the games — survival. Regular programs have something to do — watch.

There’s no mindcontrol in the crowd- their user hate and games enjoyment is a necessity if they want a society at all. If it is to believed— as Flynn himself stated Clu can’t create, he can repurpose. He’s the overseer! Not the creator. He’s doing what he can with what he has… he built Rome, which is not good (as sympathetic as I am towards Clu there’s like 12 other things you could’ve done before building Rome)

No one is a better example of Lost faith than Castor.

He’s fought for Flynn and his beloved ISOs , he was one of the best so much so he’s still sought after. He’s changed. “I believed but what did that do for me?” What did it get him but heartache and so many dead companions and at the end of it , after all this fighting Flynn disappears! His fall into self preservation and sour attitude towards users is completely understandable.

It’s sad that this has happened as the original film and novelization describe belief in the users as this intrinsic and natural thing all programs know to be true. And to have a situation where so many willingly abandon belief because there is no communication (‘user requests are what computers are for’) or purpose. That it had been made so easy for clu to turn that sorrow into a burning hatred. It is sad that this thing they all desire the most has basically been made into a cult sect who can’t let go of something that used to be so basic. Above all it’s just so fascinating that this all happened naturally supposed to by a regime, all Clu had to do was step up and acknowledge it.

In conclusion:

Now I’m not saying Flynn did any of this on purpose, he didn’t want to abandon anything, he didn’t want to create a system with no purpose. He was a excited young man who wanted to recreate something cool and was given the powers of a god. He didn’t know the impact even the smallest action could cause. He did not have bad intentions but oh boy did he fuck up.

I hope this makes even a lick of sense, I just have so many thoughts 😭

[nandysparadox]

The State of Dreaming, Ch.5: Starring Role

Photo by Natalia Y. via Unsplash.

“It almost feels like a joke to play a part / When you are not a starring role, in someone else's heart” - Starring Role, MARINA

Previous - Starring Role - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Rated T - CW: swearing, imprisonment, non-consensual touching (on part of the vines), blood mention - WC: 4268

—

Page 25, paragraph 3. He flipped through the book pages, looking through the numbered corners — repeating the information in his head as he searched.

Logan pinned his finger down just as he landed on the right page.

‘Magical artifacts can have varying properties depending on intent. They could be cursed just as they could be enchanted. While there are also, of course, the objects which are of legend, which can straddle such categories.’

Logan furrowed his brow and glanced towards the books piled on his desk. He’d already exhausted the ones about enchantments or curses — which weren’t few, mind you. He hadn’t expected a library in the imagination to be so extensive, though he supposed he took Roman’s attention to detail for granted. He rarely did anything by halves.

The works filled the shelves and contained information from anything about magic to native plants to beasts. All that was so unfamiliar to Logan’s role categorized in meticulous guides and descriptions. It was… strange.

Logan tended to avoid this sort of fantastical make-believe. As he'd done, since they stepped into the Imagination. But, reading all Roman had to say about it — and undoubtedly, Roman was the one who wrote it all, which sounded like an absurdly tall order for a single side — it seemed fascinating.

Curiosity certainly wasn’t foreign to Logan. He’d even say it was an integral part of his role, as the side that championed Thomas’ learning – though it had  always been directed towards the real world. Despite that, he found Roman had a way of stitching what was real and with the imaginative that, for lack of a better word, was intriguing. Logan didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

Although, he did have to say Roman’s organizational system was lacking. As in, he had none. When they found him, Logan would have to recommend some sort of index.

Turning his attention back to the search, he turned to peek at the stack of books he hadn’t yet read. Logan supposed another one speaking about artifacts of legend would be a good guess.

He reached for the fifth volume, laying it open on the table of contents. A later item caught his attention as he scanned through the list and he paused.

“The tracker mirror. Page 121.” It wouldn’t be the first, and likely not the last, mirror artifact he’d read about, but he couldn’t help but hope as he turned to the page in question.

The text was formatted around a drawing, positioned right in its center. A handheld mirror, its handle painted in golden watercolors. 

‘The tracker mirror — Enchanted to reflect the whereabouts of any object or person the user wants to locate.’

Well, if that wasn’t the one the Fairy Godmother hoped they found, it surely wouldn’t hurt to have some sort of direction for the other items. Logan reached into his satchel and pulled out his journal so he could note it down.

"Guarded by the three women of the lake, the mirror can be found in the bottom of  Tillrose Lake, in the heart of the Winterhill Woods. Such a lake is known to be hidden away in the depths of the forest, which houses the most unusual creatures and is reported to twist adventurers around. Beware.”

“The three women of the lake,” Logan muttered as he wrote. Hopefully they’d be open to trading, otherwise he wasn’t sure how well they’d fare in a fight.

After finishing his notes, Logan gathered the books he wanted to bring along and checked them out at the librarian’s desk. Unlike the other figments he’d met along the way, they didn’t seem like the type for small talk. Logan was thankful for that. He needed to get this information to the other sides as quickly as possible.

As he began pushing books into the satchel, he lingered on the thought of them. Logan doubted the others found something, with such a lackluster strategy. He’d be surprised if they did something other than sight-seeing. Not that he believed that they would be of no help, but surely if they followed some kind of plan—

Logan stumbled as his hand went right through the bag, right up to his elbow. He pulled it out warily. The satchel showed no changes to appearance or weight, despite the many books it held. Raising an eyebrow, Logan slowly pushed his hand back in. A quick inspection showed the interior fit way more than what should be possible.

Some sort of portal, perhaps? Before he could wonder any further, the creak of a chair being dragged against the floor startled him. A figment rushed by, a mess of scrolls rolled in their arms. Logan glanced to where they’d been sitting and resisted the urge to sigh.

Books and scrolls and feathers piled up in the desk in a total state of disarray. Was it too difficult to clean up before leaving or were they just trying to make the librarians job harder? Were he not in such a tight schedule, Logan would’ve walked over to organize it himself. Honestly, they even forgot their own bag—

Logan paused.

Their bright yellow bag. Yellow as corn.

He fidgeted with the strap of their satchel for a moment and considered his options as he surreptitiously approached the desk. If anything matched Fairy Godmothers’ description, it was that bag. And the owner didn’t seem to be coming back any time soon. Patton surely wouldn’t approve, but their current circumstance was out of the ordinary.

Logan chewed the inside of his lip. No time to dawdle, they needed to find Roman.

He snatched the bag and tucked it under his cloak.

— . —

As it turned out, being stuck in a tower was a total bore.

It had been a few hours and somehow Roman had already run out of things to do. After breakfast, a flock of birds flew by the window and he took the opportunity to sing with them until his voice was hoarse. The vines brought him lunch and then drew him a bath. And now he stood in the middle of the room in a bathrobe, his arms crossed as he thought through his options.

“Ugh, what do princesses even do in towers all day?!” Roman whined. He had a new sympathy for Rapunzel — years of this had to be maddening.

With a sigh, Roman lay onto the fainting couch by the second window. Extraordinarily placed for his dramatics, which he could appreciate. He checked his nails, and then frowned.

He didn’t even notice he’d chipped one of them. Groaning, Roman got back on his feet. There should be a file around somewhere.

He headed to the vanity, and paused when he noticed that it was no longer there. In its place, a huge oval mirror hung on the wall, surrounded by red curtains. He winced when saw his reflection; dark circles shadowed his eyes now that he’d washed the make-up off. He reached out to touch the mirror. Maybe it was just the contrast, he could’ve sworn they weren’t that dark before.

Just as he rested his palm against the glass, a burst of dark green and blue shimmered across its surface. Roman stumbled in shock. If he looked closely, he could make out the faint silhouette of a mask.

“No magic mirror?” He remembered Virgil chuckling the first time he’d gone into Roman’s room for a Disney marathon.

“I don’t need one,” Roman had said, with laughter on his lips and a smile that was a bit too tight. “Any mirror is magic if it can capture my beauty.”

It wasn’t something odd for Virgil to ask. It was classic Roman behavior, after all. A massive mirror enchanted to answer whatever he wanted.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

Roman knew the answer. Perhaps that’s why he’d never ask.

He pulled the curtains before he could even think of it. Stepping away from the covered mirror and allowing the vines to pull him into a new outfit

— . —

Getting dressed hadn’t really helped with the boredom. Nor had filing his nails.

He had lay down after getting ready — although that just meant he tossed and turned in his bed for half an hour. Or 15 minutes, he wasn’t counting. Even miraculously soft as the mattress was, sleep hadn’t come any easier. Perhaps it was the light. Roman wasn’t one for mid-day naps, anyway. He sat up with a groan, bringing his knees to his chest.

The vines bothered him less now that he’d settled, acting more like overexcited puppies if anything, but Roman was still acutely aware they could rise up at any moment. That put a damper on most escape plans by default. He couldn’t summon anything, and items could pop in and out of the tower on a whim.

A cup of tea when he barely registered he was craving it. A brush just as he reached for one. All things that he didn’t even know he needed. He supposed he could trick the tower about his intentions to collect some things… but then again, who’s to say that’d go anywhere when the vines could so easily stop him.

Roman pressed his cheek to his knees, stealing a glance at the window. The soft afternoon sunlight streamed through the glass. Time passed differently in the imagination, of course, but if he was gone for too long who knows what could happen to Thomas.

The reality of his situation settled as a hollow pit on his stomach. He curled up on himself. If he spent a moment long thinking about it he’d go mad with worry. He eyed the vines out of the corner of his vision.

“Can’t you give me a distraction?” he sniped. “Something to do, at least?”

Ask and you shall receive. The vines pulled him up to his feet in a second, and before he could even blink, Roman found himself sitting on a little bench in the middle of he room.

In front of him, an easel — right along with a set of brushes and paints. He bristled on instinct. The canvas, blank and taunting, rang as an accusation.

Roman hovered his hand above a wide brush, before finally picking it up. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t been avoiding his artistic hobbies. Even the ones he did recreationally, like painting. Despite the lack of a looming deadline or expectations, it felt too… daunting.

He layered a light blue onto the canvas, and that was easy enough. With a deep breath, Roman went about sketching out a scenery — trees in the background, billowing clouds.

That was supposed to be the part where he shed his inhibitions, and made a masterpiece he’d be proud of. But Roman knew the story rarely went that way for him. Oh, he could start. He could feel the edge of an idea crop up. But each brushstroke dragged across the painting, as if lead weight were tied to his wrists. Maybe it was the fear of being too honest, or the knowledge that every piece of his work would be torn down and scrutinized down to the last detail.

Or maybe it was just being aware that this was his role — and if he failed at this too, well, there wasn’t much left.

Little by little, the palette became a muddy mess of mixed colors. He blinked. The painting took shape and he barely even noticed. Roman cocked his head to the side, squinting. It looked… good. So far. And despite the aching in his chest, maybe… pushing through worked.

“Huh,” he said, “Logan might’ve been right, after all.”

Switching between brushes, he began to detail the foundation he'd layed out, working on the values to make sure the picture was clear. Logan always ragged on him for his perfectionism. Which, in Roman’s opinion, was rich coming from him, but he did have a point — as per usual.

He could get caught up in small things. He did it often enough. Roman was a lot of things — romance, passion, creativity, the ego, hopes and dreams — and therein laid the problem, right? Wanting and hoping and dreaming higher than they could reach.

His work, it couldn’t just be good. It had to be the best.

Roman sketched a figure in the middle of the painting before he could even register it.

How selfish of him, to raise expectations they’d never meet, to want things they can’t have.

Clenching his teeth, he painted the clothes — white and gold and a deep scarlet sash.

Because he knew. Deep down, he knew he could put his soul into his work and it still wouldn’t be enough. He could tear his heart open and splay the vulnerable parts of himself into a bloody mess on the canvas and it would still be too bland, cliché, uninspired.

Reaching for the palette, he shoved his brush into red paint.

He thought he only had to dig deeper, try harder.

His breath picked up as he slashed the color around the center of the painting, and so did his heartbeat. Red splattered against the canvas until droplets fell onto his hand. Roman felt it — on his skin and as it stained his drawn counterpart; tainting any white that was there before. He mixed colors without the care to clean up in between.

Maybe the problem was just him.

Silver paint. A dagger craved right onto his chest.

The bristles never reached the fabric. A vine wove around his wrist tight enough to bruise.

The piercing feeling on his chest didn’t fade, even as his hands moved without his say. He kept on painting. His thoughts stuck between the blade that never was and the feeling of thorns that scratched just near his skin.

When they finally released his wrist, his brush clattered to the ground. Roman stayed stock still as he stared at the finished painting.

One of his best works, technically. Idyllic lighting that immersed you into the scenery, good composition, focused values that led your eyes right toward the focal point.

Roman himself, right in the center of the painting. A wide smile across his lips, and a bouquet of roses against his chest.

It looked right out of a Kinkade collection. The sort of thing people loved to see in the back of a puzzle box.

The pit in Roman’s stomach turned hollow, and when the vines ushered him out of the chair he went without protest.

One of them brushed against his waist. He flinched and straightened his posture. When they gave him the painting, he couldn’t stand to look at it too close.

He got the inspiration he looked for, didn’t he? He should be happy.

“Wow!” Roman said, to no one at all but the vines that kept him there. He gripped the frame so hard he could’ve chipped it. “Maybe I have an understated talent for landscapes, shall we put it up on the wall?”

He smiled as he handed it to them.

The vines slithered to do just so, and as he trailed behind them, Roman sneaked a glance to his wrist.

The lack of marks taunted him. Maybe they hadn’t really squeezed as hard as he’d imagined.

— . —

“This market is so boring. Where’s the blood?” whined Remus.

Patton smiled, scratching the top of Remus’ head from where he peeked out of the scarf. Remus hadn’t lost a touch of his usual humor, but it was pretty hard to be scared when he was in such a cute little mouse form! Showing just that, he chirped and shimmied, and Patton had to resist the urge to squeal.

Mouse or not, Remus could and probably would still bite his finger off for it.

“We’ll get blood on the way back,” Janus said, with the exact tone of a parent who had no plans to do that. Patton laughed.

Their split-up plan had ended up being a bit of a bust. Since Logan had gone off on his own, they didn’t form pairs after all, deciding to search as a group instead. Patton had to admit he was a little…relieved. Not about Logan disappearing, of course not, and it wasn’t that pairing with Virgil would’ve been bad! It was just… Virgil hadn’t been keen to spend any time with him lately, and the tension only grew when they were alone. Even though Patton wished to reach out, the fear of being pushed away for good was overwhelming.

Virgil wasn’t happy with him, he hadn’t been for some time, but it had been manageable. They were friends after all, best friends. But now that Janus and their past was added to the mix? The cracks spread far too quickly for Patton to mend them.

He let his eyes trail Janus’ way. The other walked only a few steps ahead of him, batting away the oversized feather in his cap that kept falling over his eyes. Much like a kitten. Patton stifled a smile. 

Janus would talk his ear off for that comparison.

And still, no matter the warning, Patton just wouldn’t be able to shut him out, would he?

He wasn’t naive, despite what it might seem. Patton knew Janus liked to string up every word in tangled threads of meaning, that his intentions were often muddy. But he couldn't help but think, if he’d listened to Janus before, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten everything so… wrong.

He shook that thought away. Now, that wasn’t the point at all. The important thing was, they were back at the market — this time to search through the many rows of booths and sellers. He had a feeling they’d have a good shot there, after all, with so many goods for sale, one of them had to be what they were looking for!

…Okay, maybe that was a touch too optimistic, but even still, he kept an eye on each and every booth.

The bell as white as milk, the gem as red as blood, the bag as yellow as corn, the mirror as pure as gold, he sang in his head.

Vendors showed off their products with proud smiles and promises even Patton thought were too good to be true. He had to fight getting roped into small talk. He shouldn’t lose focus, but that became a bit difficult not to when all the items were just so magical.

After the regular farmer's market produce, more unique shops popped up. Colorful potions, shiny crowns and wands, one stall even had items from classic fairy tales! Spun gold, mirrors and apples, a spinning wheel… though the most eye-catching one was right in front of him. Beautiful, delicate little glass slippers! Patton couldn’t help but stare at awe. Roman really did go all out!

“D’ya think they cleaned the blood off of that?” Remus sneered, startling Patton. He’d almost forgotten he was still burrowed in his scarf.

“Huh?”

Remus squeaked in laughter, looking up at Patton with a mischievous twinkle in his little beady eyes.

“In the Brothers’ Grimm version the step-sisters cut off their toes to fit into the slippers! That happens in Into The Woods too, there’s even a song about it, remember?”

Patton grimaced, which seemed to be exactly the reaction Remus wanted. He knew that, but he didn’t need the mental image!

“It’s gold slippers in those,” Janus cut in, “Not glass.”

“Ugh, you’re such a party pooper.”

Janus rolled his eyes, sharing a look of amusement with Patton before they went right back to searching.

If he were to be honest, his hope began to run a little thin after some time. They passed through row after row of the market without finding even a minor clue! At that rate, how would they find Roman? Patton bit his lip. 

He’d tried to give him some space after the wedding disaster, so they hadn’t talked much then, and the last time they did, it had been an argument — now Roman was just up and gone.

Patton stood in the middle of broken glass, with no idea how to put the shards back together. He hurt Roman, hurt everyone, but now no matter how he tried to fix things it would just get worse. He was stuck.

And Roman had every right to be angry, he should be, but goodness gracious, Patton missed him.

And now no one had a clue where he was.

He tried to not let the worry distract him too much as he stopped by yet another booth. But before he could get a good look, someone shouted at him from a bit away.

“Hey, you there with the scarf, dearie!”

Patton blinked, confused, and scanned through the crowd to find them. Remus burrowed deeper under the scarf to hide.

“Yes, you,” An old woman waved him over. She wore an apron, like him, but it was stashed with way more pockets than someone could ever need. In front of her, stood a single grain basket and a few bags.

“Um. Hello, ma’am.”

“You look awfully wistful, dearie,” she said with a smile, reaching for the lid. She stared at Patton with a look that was eerily blank. It set him on edge. “No matter, I’ve got something here you won’t believe until you see.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am but I don’t think I can—” Patton cut himself off as he caught a peek of what was inside the basket. Beans, but not the normal kind of course — they shined like someone had thrown glitter all over them! Patton blinked, leaning over to get a better look. He knew he was just the type to be tricked by something like that, but there was something… different about them. Call it intuition, but in the back of his mind he knew they needed to bring them along.

“Why, if you plant them, you’ll see they grow all the way up to the sky, dearie,” The old woman said, propping a hand up on her hip. “And I’ll sell them for only 5 gol—”

“Bit of a bad time for window-shopping, isn’t it?” Virgil snarked over his shoulder. Patton jolted, spinning around to face him.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil propped a hand on his hip and continued, “Roman’s missing. We don’t have time for this.”

Patton scrambled for a way to respond, shame burning on his face, but before he could, Virgil gruffed in annoyance — tugging him away from the booth and walking ahead without a word.

Patton’s heart shattered all over again as he followed him from a few steps behind.

“Wow, what’s with him?” Remus whistled and finally peeked out of his scarf. Janus, who had sidled up to his side, raised a single eyebrow at Patton — as if to say ‘You’ll just take that?’

“The beans feel important,” Patton simply muttered, because he very much would. He couldn’t pick a fight with Virgil. He’d done enough already.

Speaking of, Virgil stopped on his tracks all of a sudden. He brought a hand to his eyes like he was trying to see something far in the distance. Patton squinted as they caught up to him, to spot whatever he was looking at.

A figure, it seemed, running their way in somehow perfect form. Behind them, a royal blue cloak— oh.

A wave of relief washed over Patton as Logan got closer and closer. He did expect him to come back…eventually, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t worried! He didn’t need one more kiddo missing today!

“He’s got… the bag,” Virgil said. And yup, that bright yellow spot grew as he approached, propped on his hip, and it definitely couldn’t be anything else. Talk about ‘as yellow as corn’.

When he reached them, Logan simply adjusted his glasses and brushed his hair from his face. Patton wondered how he could run like that and not be out of breath. He cut right to the chase, “I know where we need to go.”

Virgil’s armor clinked as he crossed his arms.

 “Hold on, where the hell were you?”

“And where did you get that?”  Janus added.

Rolling his eyes, Logan reached into his satchel, letting the yellow bag fall against his hip. “The library,” he said, matter-of-fact, as he pulled out a book and flicked it open. “Which proved to be quite efficient, mind you, so save the lecture.”

The news sparked back the itty-bitty flame of hope he still had, and Patton couldn’t help but smile wide. 

“That’s amazing, Logan! How did you find it?”

“Oh,” he answered, glancing down at the page. “Someone left it unattended at their table. I took it.”

Patton gaped at him. 

“Logan! You can’t just— that’s stealing!”

Logan simply ignored him, turning around like he’d said nothing at all, book tucked under his arm.

“We should prepare and gather supplies. It’ll be a long trek to the lake.”

“Goshdarnit,” Patton muttered under his breath, watching as Logan headed off and prompted them to follow.

Janus chuckled beside him, tapping him on his shoulder. Patton turned to face him, tilting his head when he saw that Janus held out a tiny bag on the palm of his hand.

Patton took it and untied the string to peek into it. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he saw what was inside.

Glittering, magic beans.

“You…” Patton started, struggling to keep the giddiness that thought brought him out of his voice. “You bought them for me?”

“No,” Janus said with a coy smirk and a wink, carrying on with walking after Logan. “I stole them.”

“Janus!”

— . —

Taglist: @caruliaa @thegoldenduckie

[ludo-nadir]

User Saiscribbles is a malicious liar

Perhaps I ought to preface this with a clarifying remark: user @Saiscribbles also known as @PurpleDemonLilyPosting MAY be a malicious liar, however there are also other alternatives that they may be instead which shall be elaborated on within.

To begin, this user has initially come forward with a very serious claim: They have received direct messaging from a now-deleted user "l4ffyp1n3" containing racially motivated hate speech.

As seen above, rather immediately, with no further investigation, user purpledemonlilyposting set the blame upon user Taffer.

Their rationale?

Said message incorporated the usage of text-based emoticons, and that's it. No further evidence is forthcoming aside from the use of emoticons.

I ought not have to discuss the reasoning as to why this excuse is as insubstantial and deficient as it is, but nevertheless I shall do so:

The usage of text-based emoticons is not exclusive to one individual

The usage of text-based emoticons is easily replicated

Both points are significant enough to cast serious doubt onto the claims without further investigation. Given that no other evidence was provided by this user, it should immediately raise red flags regarding their poor (absent) use of irrefutable evidence in order to make a serious allegation.

Indeed, user Taffer has also stated in a now-deleted post that they acknowledge it could have even been sent by user purpledemonlilyposting, however due to the lack of evidence they chose not to make that assumption.

User Taffer has also immediately denied the usage of such derogatory vocabulary, stating that they do not use hate speech.

At this surface-level evidence, there is naught that can be confidently claimed to either side. The ghastly lack of actual evidence provided by Saiscribbles is apparent, and we now have the word of another that it is naught but libelous misattribution.

With the inability to seek out in-depth information on this deleted account responsible for the hate-messages, as well as the inability to reach out and converse with this user in person, we are left with one last option to assess the most likely truth: Seeking patterns of behavior.

Upon an in-depth analysis of all of the posts created by user Taffer, the usage of derogatory hate speech has been documented a total of 0 times.

Across both known accounts, there has been not a single instance of racially driven hate speech of any form, nor speech that derides the disabled, religious, or disabled.

To prove a negative is a rather daunting task, so all who are skeptical of this claim are welcome to verify it for themselves. There has been no case of hate-speech utilized anywhere.

From this, we can conclude that the sudden usage of hate-speech would appear far out-of-character, and text-based emoticons aside, would greatly imply with a higher degree of confidence that the user who has sent race-based hate speech is not the same individual as user Taffer.

However, we are also able to assess the speech patterns of the individual who started to make such bold claims in the first place.

Usage of the n-word

Usage of the n-word

Usage of a racially coded slur

Usage of multiple race-based slurs

Usage of a racially coded slur

Usage of a mental disability-based slur

As we can see from the above evidence, user SaiScribbles, also known as Purpledemonlilyposting, has a much more significant history of using derogatory language towards others. Such evidence has been documented by many individuals and many of these messages are presently located on their Twitter account and are easily verifiable.

From this, the pattern of behavior far more greatly leans in favor of this user being the individual to message themselves and others with the race-based hate speech.

In addition, we see the usage of text-based emoticons. Not unlike what was used in the inflammatory messages in question. Despite their only claim being that user Taffer was responsible due to the utilization of emoticons, it appears user Saiscribbles is also just as capable and willing to utilize such.

However, I am not here to point the finger at user Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting as the one who is responsible for the act.

While the pattern of behavior is significantly in favor of them being more likely to utilize the derogatory language as opposed to user Taffer, we still must accept the reality of the matter that is we do not have sufficient information to state conclusively who is responsible for the hate-speech messaged to different users.

This leads me to my ultimate conclusion on the probable malice of user Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting:

Based on the information provided, we can confidently rule out user Taffer as the individual responsible for the hate-speech. The evidence presented is definitively lacking any substance that cannot be easily replicated by any other individual, and the stated pattern of behavior which is also verifiable by others does not correlate to the actions taken by the now deleted "l4ffyp1n3".

And yet despite this, user Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting has, with regularity, pushed forward the narrative that user Taffer was the individual responsible for the messages.

We can thus conclude one of the following possibilities:

User Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is woefully ignorant of how to interpret information and draw any meaningful and unbiased analysis from any evidence presented.

User Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is deeply ignorant of how to interpret patterns of behavior but chooses to utilize a flimsy argument regardless in order to push a narrative that allows them to target the character of a critic of theirs.

User Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting understands how feeble of an argument they presented happens to be and chooses to weaponize it anyways in an effort to maliciously target the character of their critic.

User Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is fully aware that the source of the hate-speech is a different individual and chooses to place the blame on user Taffer regardless, as it allows them a chance to target their character and discredit them.

User Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is responsible for the hate-speech in question and is deliberately forcing a libelous narrative to deride and attack the character of their critic.

Each of these scenarios, based on the pattern of their speech alone, is significantly more likely than their own initial claim they continue to present as fact to this day.

As for which of these conclusions is the correct one, none but they can say for certain. I would certainly hope that it is a case of egregious ignorance and lack of understanding of how to read speech patterns and investigate matters prior to making a serious allegation.

Such a conclusion would be humiliating to admit to as an adult, but far better than the alternative of planned and intentional malice.

Given the available information on this matter, regardless of the intent, user Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is a liar, and cannot be trusted to be speaking the truth in any authority on this matter, as their "evidence" can hardly be considered as such, substandard and effectively nonexistent as it is. Rather, it is akin to a schoolyard gossip mill, deliberately inciting hatred and violence towards one individual for no reason other than to isolate, intimidate, and harass another.

There is no evidence of user Taffer being one to use hate-speech, and an overabundance of evidence showing user Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting far more likely and willing to do so instead.

On this matter, Saiscribbles/Purpledemonlilyposting is a liar, and their word should be discredited.

Do not believe them on this matter.

You are welcome to discuss matters of this situation with me, however I ask that you do so in good faith: bring relevant evidence.

[fantasyismyonlyrealescape]

Whumptober 2024: No. 8 - Sleep Deprivation/"Leave the Lights on"

Title: Creature of Habit

Characters: Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn (Zowens)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count: 883

A/N: Welcome to Week 2 of Whumptober. As you can tell by now, there is a trend in WWE fanfics. I think I only wrote 5 non-wrestling fanfics out of the 31-day challenge. So, yeah. Enjoy and Cheers! Also, I do want to note, that this story follows the concept "kayfabe as reality". El Generico is in this one, so in the story he speaks next to no English, just like he did in interviews and in the ring. So, that's why there is Spanish in this. Translations are at the end of the story.

Summary: Sami Zayn is a creature of habit, something that Kevin Owens learns very early on.

Cross posted on AO3 under user wrestlinginjeans.

Kevin and Generico hadn’t known each other long before they had first started rooming together. After a month on the road making next to no money to get by, they figured pooling their resources together would only make sense. So, they did. In a dingy motel room with outdated peeling floral wallpaper and one bed that squeaked horribly when any weight was placed on it. They had mutually decided that they would share a bed in order to save money. Kevin had finished getting ready for bed, lounging on his side of the mattress, and catching up on some messages from family when Generico appeared out of the bathroom. The bathroom light was still on, but the luchador pointedly left the door cracked open to let a sliver of light through into the greater part of the hotel room.

Kevin watched Generico silently but did not comment. At first, he thought that the wrestler wasn’t finished getting ready for bed. But then he saw Generico throw his day clothes in his suitcase and approach the bed, clearly intending to go to sleep. Kevin, sore and tired from the three matches he had wrestled that night, didn’t have the energy to inquire about the light that night.

A couple weeks later, Kevin had noticed that Generico left the light on every single night before he went to sleep. On the nights that Generico got ready in the bathroom first and Kevin followed after, Generico made it a point to get up and turn the light on in the bathroom, cracking the door just as he did every night without a word before returning to bed.

“Uh… Hey man, what is it with you and that light?” Kevin asks, jerking his head to nod in the direction of the bathroom door.

A moment of silence passed between them as Generico tilts his head slightly in confusion.

“Qué?”

“The light?” Kevin elaborates, pointing to the lamp on the table next to him. “Why do you leave it on?”

“Oh. La luz mantiene alejada la oscuridad!” Generico says happily, nodding his head before settling down onto the bed.

Kevin shakes his head in confusion, looking over to Generico who seemed to be perfectly content with the response he had given. Kevin, knowing that he was unlikely to get anything that he could actually understand from the luchador, sighed in resignment and went back to his reading.

Years later, in the quiet of their now hotel room, Kevin Owens keeps one eye on the closed bathroom door as he waits for Sami Zayn to come out dressed for bed. While a lot has changed for them in the decades that they had known each other by this point, one thing had remained constant. Sami Zayn was a creature of habit.

The bathroom door opens and Kevin glances back down at his book quickly, all while Sami chatters away. “Hey, Kev. You remember seeing that vegan place down the street? Want to go and catch a bite before we head to the show tomorrow?” Sami suggests, stepping out into the hallway and shutting the bathroom door until the ever-familiar sliver of light shines from the bathroom into the hallway beyond.

Sami walks towards his suitcase as Kevin tries to hide his smile in his hand.

“Kev, did you hear me?” Sami asks, throwing his clothing items into the suitcase in front of him before coming to his side of the bed.

Kevin shakes his head once, attempting to wipe the smile from his face as he removed his hand and glanced at Sami.

“Sounds good, Sami.”

A month later, Kevin helps Sami into their hotel room, one arm slung over broad shoulders. They make slow work towards the bed in the center of the room. Reaching the side closest to the door, Kevin sets Sami down slowly, bending down to help Sami get his feet up onto the bed as the redhaired wrestler lays back onto the pillows stiffly.

“I’ve got you, Sami. Do you want to get cleaned up or do you want to sleep for a bit? The doc said that you would need to be woken up every 3 hours for me to check you.”

Sami, already in a dazed state as it was, brought a shaking hand to his cut forehead.

“Sleep, Kev…” Sami whispers, his voice portraying how much pain he was in.

“Alright, Sami. Sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” Kevin states, pressing a hand gently (by Kevin’s standards) to Sami’s shoulder before placing the hotel throw on over his injured friend.

Glancing around the hotel room, he drops their gear down on the lounge chair in the corner and strides over to the bathroom. Flicking the light on in one swift motion, he cracks the door just as Sami had done so many times before. Nodding his head in satisfaction at the sufficient light filtering through the opening, he walks back over to Sami’s bedside and settles down next to him. Kevin reaches down and brushes his fingertips against the forearm of the slighter man in a gesture of closeness.

“I’ll leave the lights on for you…” Kevin whispers softly, leaning back against the headboard to begin his watch over his injured brother. “Just as you do for me.”

Translations:

Qué - what

La luz mantiene alejada la oscuridad – The light keeps the darkness away

[qberryshortcake]

Are you wondering how to get into Gundam and need an autistic transbian with insomnia to help guide you? Well you're in fucking luck!

Happy for u tho/I'm sorry

Start with either Witch From Mercury, Iron Blooded Orphans, or Mobile Suit Gundam. All three you can go in blind and have a grand old time. WFM is the lesbian one though, and my proper intro to the franchise.

What even is a Gundam?

Let's get a little vocabulary out of the way. A Mobile Suit is a bipedal giant mech, generally with one pilot, that uses a combination of mounted weapons and weapons held in the mobile suit's hands. This can be railguns, tank cannons, missile launchers, or a good old fashioned energy sword.

Are all mobile suits Gundams?

No, actually! It's a poodles/dogs situation. All Gundams are mobile suits, but not all mobile suits are Gundams.

What makes Gundams special?

It varies from series to series. In some it's that they use a special power source. In others it's a direct interface with its users. They often require less training than other mobile suits, and have a much higher skill ceiling. No matter what, one rule is more or less universal: only a Gundam can beat another Gundam. This is one of the driving forces for every antagonist. It's also why these shows get so heady.

Who is Char Aznabke?

The antagonist of Mobile Suit Gundam (see below). He's iconic, charismatic, stylish, and machiavellian. There is a Char in every Gundam spinoff. It gives you a sense of dramatic irony knowing that, because if nobody is wearing the mask, you're trying to figure out who will. And if somebody is, you're wondering what they'll do.

Okay, where do I start?

Let's bring out the timeline chart (bear with me):

This may seem intimidating at first, but once you break it down, it starts to become a bit more scrutable.

The first thing to understand is that Gundam has a singular canon timeline, the Universal Century, and the rest are spinoffs. You could theoretically start down any of these timelines and have a grand old time. That being said, some starting points are better than others.

Universal Century - if you're down with old animation, you can't go wrong with watching the original Mobile Suit Gundam! You can start with Gundam Origin to learn about Char Aznable's backstory, or jump straight into the original anime

Future Century - This is one of the weirdest wildest Gundam series with Mobile Fighter G Gundam. I haven't seen this one and I personally wouldn't start here? But hey if you want a giant robot tournament where every country has a themed Gundam that has sliiiiight racist vibes? Uh well then this is truly one of the shows in all of Gundam.

After Colony - This is where a lot of us originally bounced off of the series. Gundam Wing was what was on Toonami back in the day. The dub isn't...great, and the story is *extremely* edgy. That being said is is rife with ship bait and Deathscythe is an incredible Gundam design. All the same themes, just very hamhanded.

Correct Century - this takes place in the far far future, and technically the previous three timelines converge on this one. It's so far in the future that Gundams are practically a myth. This is Turn A Gundam, or as it's usually stylized, Ɐ Gundam. I haven't gotten to this one yet, but I love the moustachio'd design of the titular Ɐ Gundam. I wouldn't necessarily start here, just because this one kind of assumes the viewer has seen at least a Gundam before. From what I've heard at least.

Cosmic Era - While I own several gunpla from this series, I have only seen an episode! It's... I've never heard a single good word about this one. As far as I know it is more geared toward younger viewers, which also means it is the most shamelessly about advertising gunpla...well other than a couple other series we'll get to.

Anno Domini - okay here is where it gets a little odd because there's multiple timelines that use this abbreviation. The first is Gundam 00, or Double O (not zero). This one is really fun. It takes the edge from Wing and makes it kind of humorous. A slow burn, where you realize that maybe a single force having a monopoly on violence, made up entirely of child soldiers is,,,not the best idea? Great place to start.

Anno Domini - Gundam Build Fighters and Mobile Suit Gunpla Raiders G are, charitably, celebrations of the gunpla hobby. I wouldn't start here.

Post Disaster - God I almost wish this had been my first series. Iron Blooded Orphans is about a bunch of dudes being guys. They escape from slavery and go into business for themselves, and get embroiled in a political conflict while escorting a princess back to Earth from Mars. Fantastic show, but it clocks in at 50 episodes, so keep that in mind if you start this one.

Ad Stella - this is where I started. Witch from Mercury is absolutely incredible. Just 26 episodes. It follows Suletta Mercury and Miorine Rembran, after the former wins a duel, and due to sci fi anime logic, becomes betrothed to the latter.

Great, anything else I should know?

I said this in another post but if you're still on the fence because giant robot shows you've seen in the past haven't been great, I get it. I was the same way. The point of the robots being humanoid is because it takes out the abstraction of using vehicles of war, without cutting down on the scale of the wars being fought. When a character, for example, goes to destroy a military base single-handedly, you get that disconnect.

Sure it's a pilot doing war things, but it's *very* different when your opponents are as outclassed as most things and a Gundam.

It's always been about the horrors of war, the victims of those wars, and the wounds and scars that are left on the soldiers of those wars. The cool robot is so that a character can lose an arm but still have to keep fighting. In some series that character may have felt the pain of losing an arm while jacked into their mobile suit. It brings a viscerality that fighting with planes, tanks, and starships simply wouldn't be able to replicate.

Oh. And uh. Gunpla. Gunpla are the Namco Bandai line of models. They all require minimal tools and no glue. They're generally posable and some are extremely posable. They come in 1:144, 1:100, and 1:60 scale (primarily). They're also not cheap. The smaller models cost around 30-50, but they get expensive quickly. So uh. Don't? Get into them?

[high-mackrels-musings]

In Defense of Ki-Adi Mundi … Again

Look at that, one of my favorite Jedi from legends is relevant again … for all the wrong reasons. But regardless I’ll take any chance I can to talk about my favorite Cerean.

With that said I’ll just say two things with regards to the acolyte and Mundi, I’ve watched two episodes and have little interest to watch anymore, canon isn’t my cup of tea, if you enjoy it good for you, Star Wars is a big enough fandom that both old EU and canon fans can enjoy their respective parts of it. And please understand that Ki-Adi Mundi of legends is not the same as canon, unfortunately people are woefully ignorant of who he was in canon.

With all that let me go ahead and repost one of my old posts from reddit where I defend the now seemingly popular Ki-Adi Mundi. Original post found here.

Introudction:

In recent days it has become quite common to bash the jedi for their perceived arrogance, hypocrisy, and coldness. Seemingly a few jedi are always quick to be singled out for their actions Mace Windu is directed plenty of ire for his role in ousting Ahsoka, as is Shaak Ti for her inaction in the clone chips, and Luminara for her response towards the death of the Martez sisters’ parents. However, I shall be focusing solely on one whom has recently been getting a lot of attention with (reddit posts like these), (articles like these), and ( videos like these).

This is a horrible video, please don’t watch this.

It seems apparent to many that Ki-Adi Mundi deserved his death and that he is a prime example for the Jedi losing their way. However, I felt it necessary to attempt to put things into some perspectives. Not only because I feel people are taking things heavily out of context, but also Ki-Adi represents one of the best Jedi Masters of his era in my opinion.

Common Criticisms:

Mundi’s denial of the Sith Existence (The Phantom Menace):

One of first instances that many will bring up will be the hubris that Mundi’s quick denial that the sith might have returned as Qui-Gon reported to the council. While it is true that Mundi was perhaps just a little too quick to judge. However, one needs to consider the viewpoint of his and the rest of the council. As he states, the Sith are believed to have been extinct for a millennia, following the supposed death of Darth Bane in Darth Bane: Rule of Two. But while the Sith had believed to be extinct there were plenty of examples of Dark Jedi and other Dark Side users well into the clone wars, as exhibited in the stages before the Clone Wars such as Aurra Sing and Komari Vosa, and before The Phantom Menace as seen by Qui-Gon’s own former apprentice Xanatos.

Red lightsaber, familiar in the Jedi arts, but not a Sith.

Thus, to the Jedi on the council it would have made much more sense that Qui-Gon had been attacked by a possible fallen Jedi, rather than a long believed to be dead group.

While Mundi was at times sure of himself, this is not such an example that can be used to discredit him. Rather what we can see here is an example of the arrogance of Qui-Gon to always listen to his first instinct. The Jedi Council rightfully so declares that such a matter should be looked into more closely with Mace Windu stating, “We will use all our resources to look into the matter more closely.” Of course, it looks bad in hindsight, but as viewers we have more information than the characters on the screen.

Mundi’s defense of Count Dooku (Attack of the Clones):

In Attack of the Clones following a failed assassination, Padme is quick to bring up the name of Count Dooku for whom might be responsible for the attempt on her life. This is quickly followed by the Cerean master’s words, “He’s a political idealist not a murderer.” It is backed up by the words of Mace who describes him as being a former jedi. One needs to remember the context of this. Dooku while having left the Jedi Order, did so amicably as seen by his statement when leaving the Jedi as found in Jedi VS. Sith The Essential Guide to the Force where he states:

It is my plan to return to Serenno and serve my people as a philanthropist. It is my last request as a Jedi Master that you Respect my decision, as well as my privacy. Good-bye old friends, and may the Force be with you.

Further as seen in the deleted scene Jocasta Nu states, “He disappeared for nine or ten years and reemerged as the leader of the separatist movement.” Dooku thus is thought of as only being a political leader, which would fit the description of him in the Revenge of the Sith novelization, where he is described in the common consciousness as:

The political heart of the Separatist Confederacy, Count Dooku, is known for his integrity, his principled stand against what he sees as corruption in the Senate. Though they believe he’s wrong, many respect him for the courage of his mistaken convictions.

Thus, this viewpoint by both Ki-Adi Mundi and Mace Windu is well supported in universe. They have yet to see any reason for such a quick accusation that Padme makes, instead they must stand behind the evidence at hand, that being that the attempt on her life was that of spice miners as intelligence pointed. It should be kept in context that Dooku was still seen at this time, by the Jedi at least, as a good friend who had simply become disillusioned by the Jedi and the Republic.

Ahsoka’s Trial (The Clone Wars Season Five):

Perhaps one of the most spoken criticisms against Mundi, is his role in expelling Ahsoka from the Jedi Order. With Ahsoka being a well-beloved character of the fanbase, it’s no wonder everyone would come to her defense against what most would consider an unfair treatment of a fan favorite. Yet, should one look at the evidence that was available to the character’s it is not so cut and dry. Indeed, should one look at this without any outside insight they would have come to such similar conclusions.

Indeed, the case against Ahsoka was much stronger than some might very well remember. In the second episode of the arc The Jedi Who Knew too Much the murder of Letta, the one responsible for the explosion, was caught on camera. The visual for anyone would have been obvious. Ahsoka is seen holding out her hands while Letta floats in the air visibly running out of air. This is just the first piece of damning evidence. Further there is the statement that Letta makes in plain earshot of the clone commander to Ahsoka, “I was told if I ever needed help you were the Jedi to contact,” further implementing Ahsoka into the role of mastermind of the temple bombing. In this same episode Ahsoka is let out of prison, though to anyone apart from the audience it appears that she has fled, along with reportedly killing a few clones. And then there is Ahsoka being spotted, by Anakin nonetheless, with Asajj Ventress, a known separatist and war criminal. Finally, when Ahsoka is captured by the clone and Jedi team, she is found next to more explosive nano droids. All this culminates in showing Ahsoka in the worst possible light.

Furthering the matter is the fact that this was no longer a Jedi Matter that could be investigated internally. As Admiral Tarkin explains to Anakin and Ashoka in *The Jedi Who Knew Too Much* Letta was moved because the matter was now in the hands of the military, “Clones were killed, which makes this a military matter.” A statement Anakin agrees with. And as mentioned in the same episode, Palpatine had made sure to remove the Jedi from such military matters. It further complicates the matter. And thus, one may see that the Jedi had little choice but to expel Ahsoka. Not only did all the evidence point to her. But they simply were not in a position to set up their own trial.

Further it should be noted that Mundi had very little involvement in the decision to expel Ahsoka other than simply voting, a vote that was split according to Yoda in the final episode of the arc stating, “Reached a decision the council has, though not in total agreement are we.” Indeed, Mundi himself never actually voices an accusation against Ahsoka. In To Catch a Jedi he simply asks Anakin if there was any chance to stop Ahsoka. And in The Wrong Jedi he merely asks that everyone consider that the evidence points to Ahsoka being the mastermind behind the attack, which is correct. Perhaps why everyone holds it against him is that he is the one who reads to Ahsoka what the consequences are for her being expelled from the order are. Regardless Mundi himself is not solely at fault for Ahsoka’s leaving of the order. Nor, was it outlandish for Ahsoka to be accused of said crime, as all there was strong evidence against her.

But what about the droid attack on the Wookie’s (Revenge of the Sith)

It seems a bit odd that this is constantly brought up as a point as to why the Mundi was an idiot. The Council were the military command of the republic. It was their duty to plan out the movements of the republic army, and where best to send them. While the scene first begins with Anakin’s appointment to the council, it quickly shifts to discussion about military matters, with Mundi informing the council that they do not know where General Grievous is. This prompts Obi-Wan to mention how little ships they have to spare. Naturally with how thin they are spread; Mundi asks what they will do about Kashyyk. As should be known Yoda volunteers to go to the aid of the Wookiees, stating, “Good relations with the Wookie’s I have.”

Some might see this as Mundi indirectly helping Palpatine’s plan. However, it should be noted that Obi-Wan is not exaggerating. Kashyyk really is a system that the Republic could simply not be allowed to lose. As noted in the Starwars.com encyclopedia, “Kashyyyk was of prime strategic importance, serving as a major navigational point for the entire southwestern quadrant of the galaxy.” There were also several oil refineries located on the planet which the confederacy wanted to take control of. One can also make an argument for the Humanitarian reasons to get involved. The Wookiee’s had always been loyal to the republic and were a group often targeted for slavery and hunted down. They were a marginalized group, and thus it makes sense for why Ki-Adi would want to support the Wookiee’s.

And it should be noted that Yoda himself volunteered in his desire to go and aid the Wookies, as he states he had very good relations. And it makes sense that he would want to go, and help them. The Jedi Council thus made perhaps the best decision that they could in sending not only their most experienced Jedi, but one who would have had the trust of the natives.

Common Misconceptions:

Mundi did not love or care for his family:

One of the most notable differences between Mundi and most Jedi of his time was that he had a family. As Cerean’s generally had a low birth rate, and because males were outnumbered one to twenty per *The New Essential Guide to Alien Species.*Thus, Mundi was granted a special exemption from this rule taking on one bond wife and four honor wives. Between them Mundi had seven daughters. He would spend much of his time with them as he was the appointed Jedi watchman of the sector which Cerea formed a part of. Strangely one of most common misconceptions is that Mundi somehow did not care for them.

However, in Star Wars: Prelude to Rebellion one can see quite the opposite in fact. In Part 1 we see him openly comfort his honor wife Mawin, after their daughter has run away. And he states with regard to his bond wife Shea the narration states:

”Four honor wives have given him seven daughters. He loves them all, but his heart longs for a son. He can hide his disappointment from the others. But from Shea, if she should bear him another girl? No, not from Shea. He can hide nothing from her.”

This quote shows two things. It demonstrates for us the love that Ki-Adi Mundi actually had for his family. And that he loved his bond wife Shea so much he could not bare to let her see any semblance of disappointment in his eyes. This shows the actual empathy of Mundi. And in Part 5 of the comic, we again see him demonstrating his fatherly love towards his daughter Sylvn saying, “He had not realized until she was brought so close, and then wrenched so cruelly away. How much he loved his daughter.”

Mundi demonstrates in these early comics just how much he loves his family. And indeed, it goes contrary to the popular opinion that Mundi somehow did not care for his family.

Mundi was cold and lacked empathy.

Mundi has also been characterized as lacking empathy or feelings for others. Indeed, one of the most common examples of why Mundi is a prime example of everything bad with the Jedi of the Rise of the Empire era. Mostly I have seen people point to one scene in Star Wars: Republic 62 where following the supposed death of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mundi relates to Anakin how he felt about the death of his family saying, “I cared for them, but tried to remain unattached.” I have seen some point to this being proof that Mundi did not care for the death of others. One can get into a debate about the Jedi and their views on death, however as noted above, Mundi absolutely cared for his family. And his advice was to tell Anakin that while death is hard one can move on from it.

Further we have evidence of how deeply Mundi cared for the deaths of other sentient beings as seen in Star Wars Clone Wars Adventures Volume 6 we see Mundi mediating under dripping water. His exact words as to why he does this are: “It helps my meditation in these dark days. Each drop reminds me of every life that has been lost.” This shows us once more how much Mundi felt empathy for the death of every single life that had been lost.

In the same comic, Mundi shows concern for the life of the young Jedi Knight Rivi-Anu who runs to try to save the lives of clones and Jedi. Mundi sees her goal of stopping a crash landing Venator from crashing knows that she is trying to save them all, following her death Mundi states, “Greater love has no being than to lay down their life for a friend. Rivi-Anu is now one with the living force. It will make me proud to one day join her.” Mundi shows once more how much the death of others matters to him when he thinks of Rivi-Anu while mediating under dripping water once matter.

These two examples demonstrate that Mundi was far from a cold unfeeling Jedi some portray him as. While it is true Mundi did not stop to weep at the death of everyone, he undoubtedly felt every death touch his heart. His attempts at teaching Anakin the difference between mourning and holding onto these feelings is evident. And indeed we see that Mundi concentrated on the death of his fellow Jedi.

Conclusion

While it is entirely possible that one may have feelings towards Mundi, still perhaps you may feel he was incompetent or the single embodiment of everything wrong with the jedi. I would hope that this little essay does a decent job of trying to correct some of the possible misconceptions that have faced the Cerean Master. I believe it’s important to contextualize many of these criticisms. To try to make one see things from the perspective of the character, and indeed to provide direct quotes from many of his most famous stories. Ki-Adi Mundi is a character I grew up with falling in love with his stories in early comic run.

I certainly believe that Mundi was a very noble Jedi holding up the ideals of one. Growing from a young arrogant Jedi Knight. Into an introspective master. Who after losing every one of his daughters and wives still remained on the Jedi path. Who did his best to pass on wisdom to the young Jedi who would follow him. And who wanted nothing more than to preserve the republic all the way to the end. Hopefully putting some context into such claims can quell the ire driven against one of my favorite characters in Star Wars.

[collective-remnants-rwby]

Team RWBY Domain Expansions pt. 1

Succeeding this, I wanted to make Domain Expansions for RWBY characters, starting with the main team themself.

Also, these Domains are gonna be different than JJK Domains, as most of them won't be Lethal Domains. They're a reflection of the Semblance, and what the user generally wants to accomplish with their Semblance, which usually isn't killing. There is still a "sure hit" factor, though, along it with the user being unable to use Semblances afterwards, and leaving their Auras brittle and exhausted. It's a move of last resort, at least usually, and thus performed in conjunction with allies you can take advantage of the Domain's effects and aftermath.

Also, they're gonna be relatively simpler.

Ruby Rose: Red Like Roses

Red Like Roses takes the appearance of the winter clearing from the Red Trailer. Ruby can instantly de-materialize and re-materialize anywhere within, and the petals of Petal Burst would comprise her sure effect. Anything or anyone touch by her petals would be turned into a whirlwind of rose petals, spreading the effect until everything is rose petals or she releases the domain. Upon releasing the Domain, the whirlwind of rose petals would scatter in every direction.

But don't worry! This isn't fatal, as the petals would reform into their original forms in relatively short order, albeit discombobulated and possibly drained of Aura, with the one exception of this being Grimm.

Notes:

Her Semblance is definitely the epitome of scary, yet ultimately non-fatal. In fact, I can imagine her Domain being affected by her Silver Eyes, preventing her from actually developing a Lethal Domain. It can't destroy anything except for creatures of Destruction (The Grimm).

Weiss: Ice Sculpture Palace

Ice Sculpture Palace looks like the Foyer of Schnee Manor fused with a hall of mirrors, lined with statues of all her summons, with everything desaturated as if under the effects of time dilation. In fact, it may just be time dilation, as anyone caught in the Domain moves in slow motion, while Weiss and her army of summons move with enhanced speed.

Notes:

Weiss definitely has the most intricate Domain, as it's essentially inherited, though I think she might be able to change the setting.

Also, if anyone could manifest a Barrierless Domain a la Sukuna, it would be her.

Blake: Path To Isolation

Path to Isolation takes the appearance of a black void that subjects anyone caught in it to sensory deprivation and a falling sensation. additionally, when the Domain is released, the victims are hit with the sudden sensory overload, forcing their brains to reboot, given her a period of time to slip away. Additionally by shrinking her Domain and concentrating on a single target, she can make the effects more and more devastating, even possibly to the point of permanent injury or death.

Notes:

This Domain definitely would have been developed out of desperation during a dark period in her life.

With her healing journey, I can imagination her Domain changing, more and more, until it becomes something entirely different.

I'm gonna have to think about that more....

Yang: Full Burn

I described it earlier, but to restate and expand: Full Burn is a forest clearing, in fact, I would go as so far to say it's the same clearing on Patch that Red Like Roses is based off of, only in Summer instead of Winter. The sure hit effect affects any action she sees as aggressive towards her or her allies, igniting the kinetic energy and burning the aggressor, with the detonation's intensity corresponding to the intensity of the original act.

Now, I have pretty good ideas on JNR, Cinder, and Adam's DE abilities, and appearances for Cinder, Adam, and Ren, but I need to think up appearances for Jaune and Nora.

[praycambrian]

🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?

🎀 how do you decide when something is done?

🔚 have you ever completely changed the direction a piece was going?

lol i see you with the music question, tumblr user A "7-hour-playlist" Correspondence

🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?

yes! i write with music if it's wordless (current heavy rotation: Wild Wet World by Cosmo Sheldrake, Manifold Garden by Laryssa Okada, Vivaldi Recomposed by Max Richter, and The Doudouk: Beyond Borders by Lévon Minassian). sometimes i'll write while listening to the playlist meant for a specific project, even if it has lyrics. as far as influence...i am an extremely Music person, so it's pretty much always influencing me, but i would say that yes, the music that i connect to a certain project (whether or not i listen to it when i'm actually writing) does have an influence on the writing. at least in terms of colors and images and sensations, not at all in the sense of lyrics translating to particular writing styles or plot points. (obligatory plug for my justified playlist liner notes lol)

🎀 how do you decide when something is done?

i love your sanded wood metaphor, and i feel that to a certain extent, but i think less acutely. for me something is done when it...feels right. lol not trying to give a cop out, but i have it articulated much less clearly than you do. it feels right! everything's happened that needed to happen, i've landed the final moment i was writing towards (even if it's not the exact final line), and i've let it sit for a day or two and then done a full read through and smoothed any last bits that need smoothing (copyedits, fixing dialogue tags, tweaking a single word here and there, etc). i write pretty clean and i edit a lot as i go (some might say too much) so final edits don't take too long and they're pretty fun. but i am so hungry for validation and feedback that i want to post as soon as it's ready, and so i'll only do one final pass and then let the fic live in that moment as the artifact it is, even if i come back to it months or years later and see stuff i want to change.

🔚 have you ever completely changed the direction a piece was going?

answered here!

ask me other stuff or play the game yourself :)

[tinkertoysdamn]

Waiting for a Star to Fall (tentative title) WiP

More WiP nonsense because I need to jump-start my inspo.

Will be Thorquill, Starmora and eventual Thorquillmora because I CAN!

In cultures all across the universe, there have been superstitions about falling stars.  Though most of them are mere meteors and thus have no magic, there are a precious few that hold real power.  To possess such a thing could change the tide of fortune and overturn dynasties.  The hope of a single wish could be enough to drive men mad.    

It was with this in mind that Heimdall watched as a mysterious object crashed into one of the vast forests of Vanaheim.  As trusted watchman of the gods, it was his duty to report such an anomaly.  “My liege,” he spoke through his telepathic link to Odin, “I believe we have a problem.”

Less than an hour later, Odin the All-Father called his two sons into the throneroom, burdened with a heavy purpose.  “I entrust to you, my sons, a most important task,” he informed them.  “A star has fallen within the Nine Realms and it must be retrieved at once.”

“A true fallen star?”  Loki, the youngest son, knew the ways of magic and was highly skeptical.

“Your mother confirmed it,” Odin said.  

Frigga, Queen of Asgard and one of the most powerful magic users in the realm, held out a compass made of gold.  “I’ve enchanted this compass to follow the cosmic energy the star has left in its wake.”  She waved her free hand above it, curling in her fingers in a slight gesture.  A faint blue line appeared on the compass face.

“Where has the star fallen?” Thor asked.

“Vanaheim,” Odin informed them.

The home of the Vanir, it was friendly to Asgard, though seldom visited by any of its people.  Reports of it were limited mostly to the stories Thor’s friend Hogun had told them.   

“If it has landed in Vanaheim it shouldn’t affect us.”  A scholar of magic, Loki knew the folklore surrounding fallen stars.  Any wishes granted should stay in the world on which the wish was made.  

However, Loki did not know everything despite how he pretended otherwise.

“Yggdrasil connects Asgards to the other Realms,” Odin said.  “Any magic set loose on Vanaheim soil could have a ripple effect on all Nine Realms.  The star must be secured and locked in our Vault.”

“Why not use it ourselves?” Loki suggested.

With a single eye, Odin could convey oceans of disappointment.  “Because it is not our way.”

(INSERT ALL THE IN BETWEEN CONNECTIVE NARRATIVE TISSUE HERE)

“Can you loosen this up?” Peter complained, wiggling in distress.  “I can’t feel my hands.”

Thor spun the chair around and knelt down.  That was when he noticed two things at once: first that underneath the expected sweat, Peter had a rather unusual smell, one reminiscent of stardust.  Second, Peter’s hands were already untied.  

With sudden violence, Peter jerked his head backwards, smashing into Thor’s forehead.  

Startled, Thor fell right onto his rump.

Peter sprang to his feet, sprinting toward the open door of the spaceship.  With practiced ease, he activated his mask and kicked himself into the air with his rocket boots.  By the time Thor made it to the door, the man had disappeared.  

Baffled, Sif’s lips thinned as she shouted, “You let him get away.”

“It shouldn’t matter much,” Loki said, holding out his mother’s gift.  “I still have the compass, the word of a mortal doesn’t mean much.”

“Don’t be so sure, Loki,” Thor said.  He smacked a fist against the metal door frame, denting it.  “That man smelled like stardust.”

“What?”  Uncertainty, then realization crossed Loki’s face.  “Oh no.”  

“That’s right.”  Thor pointed in the direction of their fleeing quarry.  “That man was the star.” 

[devsgames]

Hey, do you have any resources on game design you can recommend? It's easy to find stuff on art, programming, writing, etc., but when it comes to game design it's all a bit blurry. Maybe I'm not looking where I should though.

I'm not 100% sure which type of resource you're referring to so I'm operating under the assumption that you mean more sort of learning resources for game design (as opposed to like, references or whatnot).

Firstly, one of the major problems with game design as 'discipline' is that "Game Design" is a very big and intensely vague blanket term. It's not truly a concrete discipline itself, so it's difficult to teach about the basics of all of game design. Game Designers rarely do one specific thing every time, and a lot of what is done skill-wise is often very abstract ideas like 'problem solving' and 'logical thinking'.

It's why there's studio roles like "combat designer", "AI designer", "systems designer", "level designer" and more all under the "game design" umbrella, and even then these roles might not even be doing the same thing depending on what project they're involved with. A "combat designer" at a studio working on a FPS might be specifically designing player movement while a "combat designer" at a studio working on an RPG might be focusing on something like character skill trees or condition damage types. With so much variation it becomes hard to single out specific resources as universally applicable while still being relevant for learning.

If you're looking to learn something specific about designing games, I find it's usually more effective to seek out first-hand resources based around these specializations that exist within game design and learn how the designers approached their designs, as opposed to learning about 'game design' as an all-encompassing blanket. Seeking out "combat design" or "systems design" to start edging in the right direction - this is an excellent post with an overview of key design roles.

Some of my first places I usually turn to for design stuff are those more tailored towards a wider range of specializations; the GDC vault has free archives with design talks on various Game Design subjects which can help learn more on the process of various game designers operating in their disciplines, and GameDeveloper.com has a Design section for user-submitted blogs and deep dives where you can find similar. If books are your thing, Boss Fight Books often publishes deep dives into specific games, their cultural impacts and design choices around them (the Splunky one was pretty good from my memory). Mileage may vary however as I've heard some are more 'fan appreciation' styled than actual analysis.

I'm sure smarter people than me might have textbook recommendations - unfortunately I have a tiny brain and don't like reading books much. 😔 I also find Game Design a hard subject to read about due to its abstract nature, but that's just me!

Honestly though, I think one of the best ways to learn game design is training your brain by playing lots of games and learn to think critically about the design in them - it helps stretch the design part of your brain and teach you to more actively 'think in design', which will naturally help you learn. This was pretty crucial for my understanding of design when I was struggling to learn how game design worked.

Try this: Sit down and play a game incredibly slowly and just think about everything, especially things you often look past or take for granted (after all, good design is often design you barely notice).

In the game you're playing: How does a player move? Like really how? How far do you push the stick to move? How do objects affect their movement? What alternative movement can they perform? Why? When would they use it? How does it affect them/the world? Why do you think the designer made the movement this way?

In the game you're playing: How does the player's ability work? How long does it last? Why does it work that way/last that long? How do they equip it? What feedback is there for its use? How does it affect the world? Why do you think the designer made that ability this way?

Basically try to reverse engineer the experience and repeat it over and over as you play the game - don't play it for fun, play it for research and you'll likely find a lot of subtlety you never noticed before. Virtually every choice in every game was informed by a conscious design decision (or a conscious production one). You might start to notice patterns and be able to put yourself in the shoes of the designer and understand the decision making process better.

I'd also say - if you make a game, you'll be practising game design, and that's huge. Most designers often learn what they do through doing it on the job or by practising the craft, and it's the easiest way to turn theory and abstract thinking into concrete work. You need to break a few eggs to make an omelette! I think there's a lot of fans who posture as 'critics' because they play games and pick up on some design things, but ultimately have never made a game and don't understand how choices are informed by each other or how these pieces all fall together. There's a huge difference in experience and understanding between critique/theory and practical application, and I think breaking past that barrier always provides a huge wealth of knowledge as a baseline.

Sorry I got rambley, I hope this sorta helps 😆