#this is my process. its a mess.
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Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...
#sorry.... I just... give me a minute to process... I mean I knew we were close in age but I guess I never really thought about it#sometimes I forget it happened all the way back in 2021 and just... wow.#and Tommy would have been 16 so getting his driver's license in most states... The age gap is like that of my siblings and huh...#my brother can be a real prick... its a weird thought to imagine him getting through in prison just for messing with us... damn...#dreblr#c!dream#this is fine#don't mind me researching for my lastest maddening project..... i can't stop thinking about Dream being Sam's project.......#I'd blame my job but... let's be honest the prison arc lives rent free in my brain lol XD#dsmp#dsmp dream#dream smp#dreamwastaken#no one does it like c!dream#prison arc#pandora's vault#dishing up lore#kinda? I guess...#lore thoughts#ouch... I'm older than c!dream was in prison now... poor baby... :'(
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I re-blonded my hair and cut my bangs 💛
#tbh this process was a mess#i just wanted to bleach my root#get it all back to blonde#i ended up with two different shades of blonde from top to bottom#its also a little darker than usual#im normally like a honey blonde#day one it was like an ash blonde#also coming out of the salon is felt rly bad#like super dry and fake#went home and washed it immediately to get it soft again and counter the toner a bit#also asked them to trim down my bangs and the tips cauze its all frayed and grown out and they just didnt#cut my bangs myself#tldr im getting a new stylist cuase this went bad#ive paid less for better#nobody mention my trash or plates 🤐#me#mine#selfie#girl#blonde#glasses
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☆ decadence divine [ act I ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, neuvillette, furina {☆} notes yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings yandere content, stalking (implied), kidnapping (implied) {☆} word count 2.3k
ARLECCHINO
Arlecchino was wont to leave social gatherings to her subordinates– the private meetings were where she thrived. It was so much easier to lure your prey into a trap when you didn't have prying eyes and ears waiting for the barest hint of blackmail.
She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes narrowing beneath the mask of the fox as she set down her cup sharply. It was difficult as it was to draw them from the safety of their bubble– at the slightest hint of danger, her quarry would run. A chase would be fun, but she couldn't risk getting caught here. The political nightmare it would cause..it already gave her a headache. She had to be discreet.
They weren't making it easy, however.
Which is why she never liked crowds. But this chance didn't come by every day. She wasn't going to simply let it pass by because of a little danger. She'd have them eventually, it was just a matter of how. There were already numerous of her own lingering in the crowds, hidden beneath the masks that every patron bore. It was difficult to stand out amongst the flurry of masked patrons constantly shifting around the room, moving from one conversation to another, gliding from one dance partner to another.
Her heeled boots clicked sharply against the tile as she stalked through the crowds, keeping a wide berth yet always lingering nearby– she was sure they could feel the vague sense of being watched, but with the huge crowds..her lips quirked into a grin with the barest flash of teeth. There were a great many ways to break them in– she'd spent a great amount of time and mora to get anything she could for blackmail, if she so wished. She had the backing of the Fatui as well if she played her cards right– it wouldn't be difficult to convince them that they were a valuable target, and none of them would dare to question just what she did with them afterwards.
Perhaps a bit of play, first. Test the waters. She was familiar with playing the polite gentleman, despite her status as a Fatui Harbinger. Stage something for her to intervene, perhaps, to look the hero. The look of shock when she revealed the wolf beneath the wool..she could see it already. That wide, doe-eyed look as they realized the monster they've followed blindly like a lost lamb..she was beginning to see the appeal.
All it took was a few hushed words and subtle signals before the tiles started to fall in place, her hand gliding along their lower back as she leaned over their shoulder with a thin, predatory smile. She'd have to organize for the agent to be released later, her eyes following as the Gardes dragged him out of the room in a flurry of curses, but for now..she tilted her head to peer down at them, polite and almost apologetic.
"You aren't too startled, are you? Now now, there's no need to look so..scared, poor thing. I won't let another lay a hand on you," She cooed in a sickly sweet tone, the husky rasp of her voice whispered in their ear like dripping honey. "You have my word. Now, why don't we get you some fresh air? Come. Allow me to escort you."
Her lips pulled into a jagged grin at the relief in their eyes– the blind lamb following the shepherd as it led them into it's maw. Just a little longer, and she could finally have her own caged bird– a pretty thing to admire, to protect, to possess.
Something no one else would ever touch again. Something hers.
NEUVILLETTE
Neuvillette was not one for parties. The intricacies and delicate handling of public relations he oft left in the capable hands of Furina, rather then himself. It was only at her behest he even attended at all, but he still felt rather..out of place amongst the bodies constantly shifting through the ballroom like a constant rush of water from one end to the other, no rhyme nor reason to the flow. The only thing that kept him afloat among the tides was the mask of the deer obscuring his face– even if it was exceedingly difficult to truly hide himself among the crowds, most passed over him without second thought.
Though he had to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it to Furina despite her insistence that his attendance was mandatory. He had his own reasons for coming– selfishness that left a sour taste in his mouth. It was purely by chance he'd seen the briefest glimpse of them prior, and he..was intrigued, that was all.
He refused to let his thoughts linger on the sleepless nights he spent prying every piece of information he could from loose tongues and obscure documents, every moment he managed to squeeze in between trials spent lingering in their most favored locations– cafes, stores, restaurants, the like.
Now a masquerade.
He tried not to let the guilt gnaw at his conscious, but it lingered like an age old scar that still ached.
So he relegated himself to simply residing in the further corner, nursing a goblet of water like a fine wine, trying not to let his eyes stray to the brief glimpses of them through the ever moving bodies filling the center of the room, dancing like puppets in music boxes.
Still, his hand twitched in an instinctual desire– a need to clasp his hand in their own, to touch his lips upon their knuckles, to indulge in a moment of reprieve and unshackle himself from the mantle that bears heavy upon his shoulders. He seeks reverence, worship, but not of himself– but towards the one who had drawn the eye of the dragon amongst the waves of humans he'd seen come and go for a great many years.
No one could compare, he is certain. None have left him as breathless, as hopelessly infatuated, as the one who made him wish only to kneel at their feet in senseless reverence until he could no longer speak. A hopeless man, indeed, if he has never even truly met them.
Instead he's spent his time prying into their life from the shadows. Caution, or simple cowardice?
He dares not ponder.
Yet in his ceaseless pondering he'd blocked out the world without, failing to notice the figure stepping up beside him until their hand brushed against his elbow– just the briefest touch, but it had his pupils narrowing and his entire body tensing like a coiled spring. That touch..bliss. It left him breathless and lightheaded as he tilted his head to regard them, his lips parting in a shaky sigh. They are as beautiful as he remembers– even with their face obscured beneath the mask, he would never forget them.
"Greetings, Monsieur– I hope I didn't frighten you too much." Their laugh made him feel rather faint, just the sound of their voice making his hand tighten around his cane. "..Not at all. I was simply lost in thought." He admitted apologetically, trying to reign in the urge to cup their face between his palms. A dangerous thought. He didn't want to scare them off when they'd provided him a priceless opportunity.
"My apologies, you must have needed something. It was rude of me to have been so absorbed in my thoughts to have ignored you." He continued, gently turning to set his goblet down– offer them his full attention, be a gentleman. The words rang in his skull like a ceaseless alarm, blaring and rattling his thoughts as he gently took their hand in his own. It was a split second decision– an indulgence, but he could simply not help himself. Even with his gloves between them, he felt like he was going to lose his composure just from such a brief touch..
He truly was a hopeless man before an altar, praying for a salvation he intends to bury deep beneath the waves– to keep it hidden in the darkness of the depths that only he can reach. A selfish man, he must be, to even think of it, but it is an itch that he cannot scratch. A need that must be satisfied. He cannot allow any hands but his own to tend to them, to know what it feels to touch them, to hear their voice and see their eyes as he prays– prays like a man starved, devotion born of desperation.
"I hope I did not make you wait too long." He smiles, soft and affectionate, like the bloom of spring beneath the winters chill– yet just as deadly, only masked by the sweet fragrance of flowers.
He had waited too long.
No longer.
FURINA
Furina was right at home amongst the crowds– where the masks obscured the identities of most, it was impossible to not recognize the charming banter of the Hydro Archon beneath the mask of the lamb as she graced the masquerade with her presence, speaking with a silver tongue to any who would listen. A truly enthralled audience fitting for the grandest of performers in Fontaine.
But her eyes lingered not on the people who's praise dripped from their lips like honey– yet so very bitter upon her tongue. Even the mask obscuring her expression did little to hide the longing that had her visibly deflating like a popped balloon. She hated all the eyes on her, really– it was suffocating. She was only putting on a show in the foolish hope that they'd finally pay attention to her. Just her luck, she supposes, that instead she's had to throw herself straight into the role of Archon without a pay off..
They hadn't even spared her a glance! It would be infuriating if not for the fact she couldn't even keep her composure just seeing them across the room. They didn't even have to look at her and she could feel the heat rush to her ears as she forced another smile at the crowd gathered around her. It was unfair how easily they could fluster her without even knowing it– her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she felt like it might burst.
Her only solace was the fact none of the patrons seemed to realize she'd clocked out of the conversation, her thoughts and eyes lingering on the distant figure– what a lovestruck fool she makes..it was a chance encounter she'd seen them during one of her outings. That was all it took to enthrall her, evidentially, try as she might to have ignore it for months.
They never left her mind for longer then a day, in the end, and she had to face the fact they had managed to enrapture her so deeply she felt like a newborn lamb learning to walk whenever she so much as thought of them. What an embarrassment! She..she was the Archon, she had a reputation to maintain, she couldn't be seen fawning over a human.
But oh, she still longed for it, beneath the veneer of a God. She'd watched them more times then she'd admit even to herself, wishing to find herself in place of those who'd hands were cradled so casually in their own– to hear their voice, their laughter, as often as she pleased..like a fine delicacy she so badly wished to taste, yet so far from her reach.
Would they think her pathetic for her infatuation? She pursed her lips at the thought, trying to bury the sour mood beneath her faux image of the Archon. Yet it lingered, and with only the quietest of excuses, she slipped into the crowd like a ghost– she needed to leave before she did something..stupid. Neuvillette would surely have a few choice words with her if she did, and she was inclined to avoid such a fate.
She..she just needed a moment to collect herself was all. That was it. She could go back to playing Archon for a little longer, she just needed a moment to herself. At the very least, the balcony had been regarded as off limits so late into the party– which gave her an opportunity to slip out of the public view for the briefest of moments. A welcome reprieve– she was starting to feel suffocated amongst the crowds.
Perhaps on instinct, she reached for the mask, lifting ever so slightly away..only to let out a startled yelp at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, the mask slipping back into place far too easily. It made her lightheaded, even now, but she dared not to dwell on it.
But when she turned sharply on her heel to chew out the person who'd followed her and had the gall to scare her..oh, she was done for, her ears flush with heat. The brief glimpse of their eyes beneath the mask, the curl of their lips as they smiled– her heart stuttered in her chest, and she was certain it had stopped all together when they clasped her hand.
"Y–you.." She wanted to be angry, to brush them off and leave with her rationality in tact, but the warmth of their hands on her skin rendered her speechless. She was no better then a fish on land, struggling to fill her lungs with air as she drew in a shaky breath. "Ahem, you caught me off guard. That's all. Surely you do not make it a habit to sneak up on people?" She huffed in indignation, trying to mask the fluster that threatened to break through her carefully crafted facade.
Ah, what a cruel twist of fate..she'd slipped away to escape their allure, but here they were, dragging her back into their orbit without even knowing how deep her infatuation ran. They were alone, too..it was a chance she wasn't sure she'd ever get again.
Maybe, just this once, she could do something for herself rather then everyone else.
She buried her guilt, the fear– buried it beneath the need to be seen.
"But if you want to make it up to me.."
#genshin impact#genshin impact yandere#genshin yandere#neuvillette x reader#yandere neuvillette#yandere neuvillette x reader#arlecchino x reader#yandere arlecchino#yandere arlecchino x reader#furina x reader#yandere furina#yandere furina x reader#fic tag#pats neuvillette this noodle dragon can be so pathetic#aiming for pathetic desperate and slightly guilty. it gnaws at him knowing he's keeping you like a bird in a cage#esp if you react extremely negatively hes like a kicked puppy#not outwardly but internally hes a MESS. sobbing crying wailing#furina and neuvi sopping wet kittens u found in a cardboard box in an alley#vs arle thinking abt all the crimes shes going 2 commit in the process w/o an ounce of guilt. blackmail? check. kidnapping? check.#a little murder for flavor. as u can see im coping horribly w being practically snowed in rn i need 2 be put down#its like 4 degrees out rn (fahrenheit) and getting colder ueueueue i am dying..........#only thing keeping me going is my furinameow plushie coming. eventually. staying strong just for her.................#also needs 2 be mentioned all the stories r separate ksjfkhdsf#no not everyone in fontaine is yan and trying 2 kidnap sorry for getting ur hopes up..#yet#anyway u cant convince me arle isn't bribing (or just straight up forcing) her agents into doing stupid shit so she can “save” you#and make you owe her#two silly goofy little creatures vs the personification of gaslight gatekeep girlboss (heavy on the gaslight)#also split this up in 3 parts bc. lol. lmao. im not writing 9 characters at once goodbye#also all the masks do actually have significance i have an entire essay on why i gave each animal to specific characters okay
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Aaaaaah I know I've been talking abt this art for like 3 days but I FINISHED IT HEEHEE 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖 The thought behind this was Cherry was getting mugged during their walk back to her apartment cuz Townsville be like that, and this is the moment Mojo swooped in to her rescue (How did he know it was happening? He deeeefinitely wasnt spying on them lol) ANYWAYS ENJOY If you want more thoughts look at my tags!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖
[[🧡 Reblogs and comments are all seen and very appreciated!! 🥺 Tag list below the cut, check out my pinned for my taglist form! 💙]]
@absentmoon @ava-ships @bee-ships @beetleboyfriend @berryshipbasket @canongf @clawfull @cloudyvoid @derelictdumbass @dissonantyote @edencantstopfallininlove @final-catboy @flowering-darkness @gible-love-nibles @nagirans @hoppinkiss @hotrodharts @hyperionshipping @iwishihadfangs @iyamifucker @judetama @lex-n-weegie @lficanthaveloveiwantpower @little-miss-selfships @little-shiny-sharpies @loogi-selfships @mandrakebrew @mintpecks @mothfinite @mrs-kelly @nameless-self-ships @orbitingaroundyourlove @nerdstreak @paper-carnation @p-i-t-s @qilinkisser @reds-self-ships @rexscanonwife @rotten--cotton @ship-trek @spacestationstorybook @squips-ship @toogayforthistoday @winterworlds
#my art#💜: loving you's a felony#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#self ship#oc x canon#self shipping#self ship community#self insert#fictional other#mojo jojo#okay with organization tag outta the way. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖#GUYSSSSSSSS THIS ART WAS SO FUCKING FUN 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#i have NEVER done lining like this before and messing with line thickness was a fucking blast!!!!!#ALSO HATCHING. FIRST TIME DOING HATCHING AND THAT WAS ALSO RLY FUN 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#and of course oho. ohoho OHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#ive definitely talked about it on the blog before right. the idea of him being sooooooooo protective 💀💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#like whoever the assailant is here is DEFINITELY BOUTTA DIE LOL 💖#i hope i did good on the expressions but i mean i rly love it!!! 😳💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#also the way that cherry's a little roughed up. i like to think that they just tripped trying to get away 😂#like the person mugging them had very little to do with actually causing those scuffs. doesnt change how definitely dead they boutta be 😳#anyway whoo hooooooooo here it is i am so happy with it it was so fun and its making me so 😳😳😳 i hope yall like it too!! 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖#also last thing sorry for shitty hotel room lighting hrnsnzhf it was all i had to work with but I tried my best 😂💀😂💀
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Donny's info from my 03 separated au (which i think i'm just calling the Ninja Club au for now. b/c it's stupid and gives me high school vibes.)
But yeah! I wanted to post Mikey here as well, but he's not done yet. (my cringe son will have to get his own post. Darn lol.)
ANYWAYS! Details!
Donny, of course, was raised by the Jones family after they all got separated during a sewer collapse (or something. I may rework the that later) when they're about 2-3 yo. Donny gets found and brought home by a 9 yo Casey.
Splinter finds him when he's eight and spoke with him briefly. But Splinter was in disguise so Donny didn't recognize him past a vague feeling of safe (which he fought against b/c this is Donny.) After realizing that Donny is safe and well taken care of, Splinter leaves him be. (the best splinter could offer was a place in the sewers and if Donny was able to not live in the sewers, Splinter was not going to take that away from him.)
They gets reunited with most of his mutant family (Raph's still missing) when their fifteen. And that's only b/c Mikey refused to wait anymore and surprised him late at work before Splinter could tell him not to.
He's pretty confused about it all, at first, but he eventually happy to have contact with his siblings. (tho he's less stoked about the adventures he keeps getting dragged out on during school nights.)
for the first few months, he's very against learning to fight. He's a high schooler. Sure Mikey and Leo can fight, but that doesn't mean he has to learn.
But then there's an incident involving Shredder, Leo, and a very breakable window, and he realizes he needs to learn so he's not the weak link and so he can protect himself and his brothers. (it also helps that they found out the Shredder had been targeting Donny for said treatment first due to his lack of training and how easy it would be to grab him from school. But Donny hadn't went to school during those days so they went after Leo instead.)
I have so many stupid ideas for this, you have no idea. anyways, that's all for now. Mikey's might be up later today, but i have work to get to rn.
edit: Links for Mikey, Raphael, and Leo's info dumps
#tmnt#tmnt 2003#ninja club au#i guess#03 donny#my doodles#i love them#i hadn't intended to mess with pronouns for this au#but Donny just had the vibe when i drew them#and now#the only turtle with straight He/Him pronouns is Leo#(Donny and Raph may also be biologically female but i haven't quite decided yet)#(like in the 'assumed male until puberty' way)#(its a thought i had yesterday i'm still processing)#i came up with the au title at like 3am last night#it made me laugh
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I was doing some research, and I realized that Clemson, SC (where Palmetto is based on) and Columbia, SC are NOT, in fact, an hour apart from each other like they are in the books, but two hours! Idk what to think now. (First pic from Nora's old blog)
Geographic location is the same! But the distance has shrunk to one hour!
#just a random observation that has messed with my perception of the world#everytime i read fics where it takes 2hrs to get from campus to columbia im always like 'thats wrong its 1hr" but... they were right???#and its over 2hrs too. not even 2hrs exact or 1hr 50 smth mins#idk how to process this 😭😭😭#it shouldnt be this big of a deal to me but i am genuinely having a crisis and idk why#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the raven king#the king's men#nora sakavic#aftg extra content
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Warden of Time Ame
#warden ame au#amelia watson#vtuber fanart#mogs art#hololive fanart#i still want to think of names for her gators#i never realy got to get into my own lore for this#distinctly its an au where only ame is switched with kronii in the lore#shes extremely close with fauna whos the one that gave her the gators#shes also extremely inhuman in her thinking process which is fun#i like to think shes a lot more loose with how she manages time compared to kronster#to her time is something inevitable that flows how it wants and cant be stopped as opposed to kronii whos more clinical and controlling#but this means she just will observe messed up timelines without fixing them#or actively will mess with them to see what happens#i had a lot on this at some point but its on twitter
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A character i designed in class today, got the assignment to make a character and for some reason i was thinking about bells I realized while making her that she'd actually fit into my oc world pretty well and add some really interesting stuff
Have not come up with a name for her yet unsurprisingly, so lets just call her Bell Goat(sheep? cow?) Grandma for now
Also heres the sketches from when i was trying to come up with ideas, first i drew the bells in the corner, then the person in the top right, and then the sketch i ended up refining
#I should really have a proper tag for my oc stuff shouldnt i?#OC#Original Characters#I dont have a name for the world/story/whatever itll be yet either#Thinking about calling it Reverie something.... Reverie Lost has been in my mind for the longest#But i dont really like it much lmao#Also i would like to talk more about my ocs but the problem is that they change so much because my worldbuilding process is a mess#Literally just decided one day “hey im gonna take literally all my current ocs and just mash them together in one universe”#And i ended up getting much more attached to my characters because of it but also#Making everything fit together as im still developing each character fairly seperately is like the worst puzzle ever#Its fun for me so its ok#Ill get there one day
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Bionicle and Plato's Cave: Mata Nui help us Random has been thinking again
HI. MY BRAIN HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN SCRAMBLED. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING.
A thing about stories is that there aren't really fully, one-hundred percent original ones. This is not a bad thing, it just happens.
Stories keep repeating one another whether we like it or not, maintaining their own identities through a variety of changes, and Bionicle repeats many, many stories within itself: you've got Polynesian mythos, fantasy epics, dystopian fiction, cosmic horrors, torahic and/or biblical episodes, a subversion of Pinocchio, an Odissey cut short... The works. I'm half certain one would manage to fit some parts of the Divine Comedy in there, probably.
But speaking of deeply allegorical works, the Organic Annal is that too - specifically bearing a resemblance to one of Greek philosopher Plato's most famous allegorical myths, that of the cave.
For those who do not know it, please have a simplistic bastardized version of its first half, which is the most relevant in this case:
A group of men have been, since birth, shackled within the deepest recesses of a cave. They are sat facing a wall upon which a fire casts the shadows of figurines (a tree, a donkey, a vase, etc) placed before it: this is all they've ever known, what they perceive to be reality. Imagine, then, that one of these prisoners manages to free themself from their restraints, and for the first time looks back. Thus they discover the figurines, the fire, and the lie they thought was truth; and though it would be easy to consider these new idols the "true" reality, the prisoner looks past them and sees that the cave stretches forward. As such they crawl through it until they reach the outside world: the sunlight forces their eyes down as they are not used to it yet, and their first taste of this new environment is a reflection in a puddle, or maybe a lake, wobbly and not quite clear. Only when they've accustomed to the Sun they can raise their head and properly discover the real world.
The myth of the cave is an allegory for the philosopher's quest in search of true knowledge, which resides not in the imperfect physical world, but in the perfect metaphysical realm of ideas.
This is not, necessarily, the allegory I believe the Innard Scoresheet represents.
The Biological Chronicle is, to me, a story about stories. About making stories, about being swept in the flow of a story, about recreating ourselves in stories over and over and over again.
I promise it will probably make more sense later.
But back to the point: the myth and the Flesh Record follow a similar structure and have a similar message. That is the thesis of this post until I inevitably get derailed again. Let's look at that.
In applying the steps (shadow, copy, reflection, reality) of the philosopher's journey towards enlightenment to the Meat Diaries, I'll do what Plato would bludgeon my head with a stick for and take them much more literally: the places described are physical ones, and the characters actively move between them. This is not because of any personal wish to specifically spite some dead Athenian fuck, but because that is literally what happens in the Entrail Annotations, whether through actual movement or changes of perspective.
The island of Mata Nui is of course the first step: shadows cast upon a cave wall.
There is a certain irony in this. Mata Nui shares the same allegorical location as the cave, yet physically is its complete opposite - an open space signaling the end of an enormous interconnected system of caves. The journey starts from the end. Great job everybody, we've found reality! This philosophy shit is easy.
But the island is still very much the cave. It looks prettier and livelier than the cave, but it's still a prison in which the Matoran have been confined with no chance of escaping; it's still cut off from the world at large, be it beneath it ir around it; it's still a place where beings who do not know any better blindly believe what is told to them. Only seven people know the truth (or what they believe to be the truth) and spin it in tales of shadow puppets: simplistic retellings full of gaps to fill with magic and terror and prophecies. The Turaga mean no harm - they had no way to know when or if they would have ever returned to Metru Nui, and it made no sense reminding the Matoran of a place they may end up agonizing to see without being able to - but it remains that Mata Nui is a cave, a prison of ignorance.
Things change after Mask of Light: shackles broken and door opened, the silver sea stretches before the Matoran and offers them a sight familiar yet different, more defined.
Metru Nui is the figurine, the copy held in front of the fire. It's the first introduction to the Matoran Universe proper, the first step towards the cave's exit. Here we see how the Matoran are supposed to work, how this sort of society is meant to function, and it... well, it sort of sucks the joy out of it, doesn't it? The soft edges of the figurine's shadow have been replaced by hard protodermis sides that leave no room to the imagination, letting us see the craftmanship clearly. And it's... it's kind of unpleasant. Kind of dull and mean and so... unmagical. I'd like the shadows again please. Those were nicer.
(Plato describes this exact happenstance in the philosopher's journey - upon seeing something closer to the truth one might feel repelled and want to return to simpler times. But we persevere. We must.)
Or perhaps this step is not Metru Nui itself, but the Turaga's recollection of it. The city they knew is now gone, abandoned to itself and rotting miserably alone for a thousand years, and yet they still cling to that pristine image their minds have sculpted for it, forgetting details, crafting imperfect copies of its reality: their own stories place it in a time before time, turn it as they say in a "city of legends", of great minds and a great hero and a strange tension pervading it that they might not consciously recognize. This is their basis for the stories they told, and they believe it to be the truth. It is not. The truth is deeper behind them.
The Matoran Universe as a whole is a reflection in the water. We've gotten out of that cave, but it's still too bright and our eyes can't adapt quickly enough: this will have to do for now.
But what is it a reflection of? A body? That's a given, since the whole thing is housed inside one. Yet this body does not behave like a body, its organs don't act like organs. They are landmarks and settlements, and there are species and parties involved in their own more or less treacherous businesses, and death is everywhere and seldom spares anybody, and evil isn't a singular incomprehensible thing but many perfectly identical pieces, and everything is happening all the time and I would like a break. Please. I can't handle all of this. It's too close to how everything already is. Let's go back to the figurines. They were worse than the shadows, but not to this extent. Please. I just don't want to see the bad guys win. I just don't want to see my friends die.
(Upon seeing something closer to the truth one might feel repelled and want to return to simpler times. But we persevere. We must.)
The Matoran Universe is a terrible place, but it's still far away. The edges are wobbly when the surface shifts: the stakes are universal in size, the rivalries are exaggerated, the situations are fantastical, the evil so terrible and terribly simple. It does what it does because it simply does it, and after all why else should it do it? In its increasing complexity it's still simple and sometimes a bit silly. It's still dolls that you can hold in your hand to make fly around.
As @sepublic mentions briefly here, Bara Magna is by contrast just so human. Before the big bombastic Rock-Em-Sock-Em Jumbo Edition ending and peeling away the sci-fi elements, these are stories of people trying to live. This is reality.
People are sleazy. People have priorities that not always include the well-being of other being put first. People are evil for reasons beyond just "power" or "money" or "why not". Strakk is a massive selfish bastard and also he is the one motherfucker who gets me because to be very honest I too would not want to wade through a desert crawling with quicksand and huge bat winged serpents and raptor riding marauders and spartans so bloodthirsty they don't even name their children until they make a new body count record without being paid well enough. Mata Nui's idealized honor makes him a complete anomaly because nobody is a prince in shining armor here. They're all covered in bones and doing their best not to start a war again.
Even his quest, despite what it entails and how solemnly he presents it and the information we as readers have (his identity as a usurped god exiled from his own body), is surprisingly real - in fact, his struggle is actually the same as Kiina's: both of them are strangers to the region suddenly separated from their people during a time of great strife and desperately wanting to reunite with them. The difference being that while Kiina had no chance to do such a thing, Mata Nui was built to fix both of their problems.
This is what the Matoran Universe is made in the image of. And while it very much deviated across time, the core of it remained the same: elemental tribes and variegated species caught in a dance of death, biting each other's tails endlessly.
This is the world the MU beings find once fully free. It's rough, but they've been through something like this before.
They'll handle it.
They always have.
That is the will of the Non-Mineral Journal.
Of Bionicle, the story-that-ended.
BUT.
Not necessarily of Bionicle, the story-that-does-not-end.
Now we are getting into "Random Experiences Getting The Brain Scrubbed By The Hard Back Of A Sponge And Makes It The Problem Of Everybody Listening To The Inane Yelling" territory. I'm talking walking into headcanon if not straight up just fanfiction territory. Possibly also sensible speculation but I don't know how to tell. Please do come smack me if you feel it is needed.
It's wild that Bionicle has managed to endure for what now (2024) are 23 years. The endless rebuildable possibilities intrinsic to being a LEGO product have certainly helped, but at the same time I really do feel like it wouldn't have held this strongly without its story.
I will admit I'm not a building kind of person. I had some ancient LEGO bricks when I was little and what I usually did with them was stacking them in a really tall line and try to keep it upright until they fell and scattered like lemmings booking it for a cliff. Getting into Bionicle would have never been possible for me had my dear beautiful friend @cantankerouscanuck not innocently dropped me links to Legends of Metru Nui, Web of Shadows, and the Crosswired Geeks website asking if I could have please considered skimming through it. This was back in september 2023. These pieces of plastic have been irreversibly fucking up my brain for nine months, and it was only possible because the plot and characters were written in a way that actively sunk its teeth into my skull and did an alligator death spin so potent that I'm still reeling from it, thinking about it.
I do think that's one of the main reasons why it's still going, why people still talk about it. It lives on through fans who still look at all the enormous potential left by the gaps and holes in the story and work on them, analyze them, make their own versions of them. So this second section is about that part of Bionicle, the story that just does not end, carried on by others.
So back to the point, what actually kickstarted this entire line of thought (the Squishy Note and the allegory of the cave are sort of the same lol) was a headcanon I have about the characters that have been actually missing from this analysis: the Great Beings.
You Know.
The Guys Who Kickstarted Every Single Thing, And Notably Continuously Did All Of It Wrong.
From my own prior knowledge I had understood that they are all Glatorian, and I just learned that they also were, apparently, given their incredible weird fucked up mental powers that made them into godly creatures by a space octopus.
I am going to take both pieces of information and discard them.
There is nothing necessarily wrong with them, except maybe coming from the leftest field available like a sack of granite to the face, but I feel like this kind of explanation for who and what they are isn't really satisfactory to me specifically. It does fit with the allegory of the cave still, technically - they are part of the real world, the ones who created every layer of detachment from it on purpose (somebody must have shackled those prisoners at the bottom of the cave, after all) and have managed to get to a higher level of reality still, following the platonic quest for knowledge into something that resembles the iperuranium, the perfect metaphysical world in which ideas reside.
But also... I'd like for there to be a limit to how higher we can go, you know? Into the cosmic horror? Because everything is cosmic horror in the Doctor's Report already. We live on a god's face. We live in a god's body. We are a god's cells. Our universe is a tiny manmade action figure in a larger universe. Our god is just a synthetic soul. The real older gods made it and sent it around to do their bidding. Also they're all gonna kill us when we figure out our universe is fake. Cosmic horror. Cosmic horror for miles. These are fucking LEGOs. Why is there so much existentialism in them.
So yeah, at the cost of sounding boring the psychic octopus from outer space might be a little bit too far for my personal tastes.
This does not mean I am immune to adding onto the cosmic horror.
Because my personal interpretation of who/what they are still adds onto the cosmic horror.
It just doesn't also include "giant aquatic fauna with psychic powers" in the already very large salad of sentient sapient species who have stakes in this universe, because I think we have enough of those.
So what is my platonic ideal form for them?
The Great Beings are human beings. Straight up just people. They're the readers, the players, the writers, the designers, the creators and tellers of the chronicle itself - they have this immense dominion over everything around them because they are the origin of everything around them in a sense, but their constant failings make sense because for all the influence and power they are still human, and that makes them very, very fallible. I mean, mr Greg "I will rewire your brain chemistry forever with some of the best stuff you'll read as a kid, and also for undiscernible reasons doors aren't canon" Farshtey would be one of them. Things make a lot of sense.
(this is impossible in Stone Cold Canon by the way and I am aware, because if we got to properly see the Great Beings they would have needed to be products to sell, but this is not a matter of probability it's a matter of Vision. like can you imagine how fucking cool would have been a Bonkle movie where the characters finally meet the Great Beings face to face and when it happens the style just completely shifts from 3D animation to a stop-motion and live-action combo with the Great Beings played by people and the characters portrayed by their actual sets with all of the lack of expression and stiff hands and all. do you see it. im about to blow up)
And so, we return to the allegory.
What are the shadows on the wall? Are they still the Turaga's tales? Then shouldn't they be their memories, as well? Everything that comes out of their mouth is hazy either with nostalgia or simplification, and none of it can be real. Yet they present it as such, because to them it is. Their ignorance is the same as the Matoran's, but they do not grasp it because they can't. Mata Nui to them is not the cave, it's the reflection in a lake: an imperfect mirror of reality. They cannot see the fire nor the figurines.
They are the figurines. Man-made creations confined under artificial light in a vast underground system, as large as a whole galaxy and yet so small, so isolated, so far back into the cave they are never meant to know anything other than. The shadows were their own but they can't realize that, and they can't realize they themselves are copies. The Matoran Universe is a puppet show that Teridax shuts down as he takes its reigns: he banishes its fire, Mata Nui (who is a gnostic Demiurge, a god made by gods demanding worship despite its falsehood - another copy not fully aware of being a copy) and shuts the entrance, plunging it all into darkness. No more knowledge. It is not something dolls need, after all.
Bara Magna is not the last step. It is not yet reality, not yet the truth. It's closer, much closer, but it's not: it's the lake, the puddle, the reflection that distorts when something is thrown into it. The stakes are more realistic, the characters and motivations, but not yet real. There is still a layer of separation: the elemental powers, the alien setting, the strange beasts, the supernatural history, the secrets pointing to things much bigger and more fantastical than anything reality could be, the way it is cut short by no fault of its own. What does it reflect? It's not the Matoran Universe, since that is a model based on Bara/Spherus Magna. It's not Mata Nui, because that is an attempt at recreating what the Matoran Universe was, at least in part. So... Is it the real world? Our, world?
It must be.
The Great Beings (us, the players and readers and writers and artists) shaped all of this. This universe is their creation, their work, and it is based on what they know, on their reality, because all stories are.
Maybe it was a story as close to real as possible that turned fantastic and wild until it became mythical, or maybe it was a simple story that grew so complex and grounded that it became life-like. It doesn't matter. It's a long story, a really, really long one, and maybe they're tired of it, or maybe they don't know what to do with it, or maybe they just think it has run its course, or maybe... Maybe they don't know how to tell it again. Tell it like this again.
So... I guess the thing to do is clean up.
Full tabula rasa.
And once we're done we can take these figurines we still have left, the last proof of all this immense work, this spiraling dive into who and what we are, how we function, how we create, how we imitate and recreate ourselves in fictional worlds that are our own and yet completely alien over and over, and make new ones. Distorted reflections that become imperfect copies to place before a fire so that their shadows can play out a new story upon a cave wall, for those same dolls to believe they are real.
God I got sidetracked severely
#bionicle#random talks#HELLO this took me TWO DAYS to write and i somehow reached conclusions i hadnt thought of during the writing process. Help Me#it also brought me Thoughts about g2 that i need to write down in a fic Right Now. it is Fucking Late In The Night. Shit.#also i finished this while watching an in-depth analysis of Emesis Blue (tf2 psych-horror movie) thats TWO HOURS LONG and very interesting#just to give you an idea of my current state#anyways its a mess. enjoy.
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Being incredibly self indulgent and sharing shitty afternoon sketches of my ayuu (haha get it) where yuu is miraculous ladybug. Technically they are based on a pre-existing marinette au I've been rotating in my head for literal years but I think they've become enough of their own person (though still totally inspired by her) that I can get away with treating them like a sort of oc/blank slate character.
#anyways heres my pet scrumbly freak who takes up 80% of my brain all the time forever#twst#twisted wonderland#yuu#twst yuu#twst oc#theyre also inspired heavily by bigfatbreak's feralnette au#except i looked at that and thought hmm how can i make this worse and more painful for everyone involved#and now im putting this thing in twst bc im insanely neurodivergent and i have to be able to share my wierd obscure crossovers somehow#though i do think this crossiver idea makes sense from a certain standpoint of the slight similarities between blots and akumas#ultimately im just trying to make my silly guy's week worse#i have actually been drafting a fic of this#who knows how far it will go but its been in my brain for a month and i dont think its leaving anytime soon#my thought process here is basically what if twst characters had to deal with someone who is simultaneously incredibly overqualified#to be dealing with blot#but also somehow a worse fucking mess than everyone else around them
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yeah. finally did day 50. my god .
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#okay chat. i. wow. uhm. i really reallt like lo bcorp#i wouldve completed it sooner but HURRICANE!!!!!#the words that stuck with me were 'fade away with out a trace'. i cant fully articulate my thoughts right noe as its a MESS but#wow. okay. kind of wanted to just make a small piece to try and process what happened#of fuckin COURSE the middle final room was the sky and grass and trees dude. man.#i didnt go in spoiled. best experience of my life#ayin lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#haha seed sprouting out from the ground. the rotation of the facility freaked me out along with the RUMBLING#got one last train jumpscare because i was just shocked at what was happening . no one died . i love shields#lobcorp spoilers
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Do you have any plan to make some kind of bonus chapter or oneshot about marcille's perspective in little creature? It's not like I'm asking you for it ofc!! it's just that i think it'll be interesting to read, and especially since you had those tags about marcille after her fight/outburst with falin and how you couldn't add it to the fic because the fic is from falin's perspective
Probably not about anything that happens during a little creature, but maybe something before or after? Sometimes I do like to do "the other character thinking back to events while doing stuff in a sequel" oneshot type thing, but we'll see how it shakes out!
#asks#a little creature#i will say#Marcille was firmly in denial and just Not Thinking About Her Feelings#the dinner scene was the first crack in her self delusion but it was still there#then the last chapter was it finally shattering as she saw Falin kissing someone else and experienced Elf Shrimp Emotions#just insane intensity furor and jealousy#she was about to fucking blow up#and then the confrontation happens and shes literally in shambles#cant think everything hurts#just barely scraping enough braincells to thank kiki inbetween enormous hiccups and sobs that shake her entire body#sees laios. slaps him. collapses into his arms sobbing and apologizing again#he cant actually understand what shes saying through the blubbering but hes doing his best to comfort her#to be perfectly honest im not 100% she even has the space to process 'i have feelings for falin' in full clarity#the 'why did seeing her kissing someone else make me feel like i wanted to die or kill someone' doesnt like... click#not until she gets over the mess of 'how could she say that to me didnt i do enough'#'didnt i love her enough does she care so little for me that she cant even bother to think about how i feel'#'does she care so little for me that she doesnt know that i would die for her i HAVE died for her and killed for her'#'how could she not know that she was nothing less than my whole reason for living for so long'#... i guess thats what shes blubbering at laios but it just comes out as like#'howcouldnbwhebwsbebwbendoesbdhemotbbwkowbblblbllvlbl'#snotting into laios's shirt#its ok. she'll be ok. like laios has to carry her back to her room because she latched on and didn't let go until she literally like#cried herself to exhaustion and passed out.#but she'll be okay. after maybe another day of moping she finally has her White Woman Moment of looking at herself in the mirror#and admitting that she's in love with falin and has been for a while
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+
(eyes only 4 u)
EDIT: HI IM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY AT THIS DRAWING HAVE SOME COLOUR BLORBSIFICATIONS
#crunchy ah (slightly edited for my sanity) screenshot i took from the procreate timelapse#its so different to the 'final product [linked in “+”]' cuz i kinda ended up scratching the whole thing and sketching on top at the end lol#the process of drawing this was PAINFUL (was fighting for dear life against art block at the time)#but while checking the (painful. awful.) timelapse i kinda went 'hm. the eye kinda popped right tho...'#so i took that and went beep boop to fix it just a bit and im posting this too enjoy#呪術廻戦#五条悟#gojo satoru#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanart#satosugu#gojo fanart#gojo satoru fanart#gojo#stsg#and yeah. i was messing with artstyles (and failing and crying-) and still am so... uh hope u like the art and that you can see details tha#make my art mine even when i cant rly see or appreciate it myself lol#that being said art is bound to improve and evolve with time and life so im not too worried ^^ (artblock still sucks tho hah)#+ the glasses are crooked / in a wrong angle and I KNEW THIS WHILE DRAWING BUT WAS TOO DARN LAZY + ratio (YEAH! RATIO!!)
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GET ENDLESS DIVE'D BOZO! Ok that may sound alittle too harsh but its true, Oscuri is not having a good time being dragged in there with Sfarx by his evil doppelganger, CD Sfarx, he managed to lure them in his own version of Endless Dive by tricking them into thinking there were formies & GPAs calling for help in an abandoned building but it was a set up to send them into a death trap! Times ticking down all they have is 5 minutes to clear ALL 100 FLOORS to escape feeling the pressure of trying to survive the onslaught took a toll on her physically & when she was being targeted by a replica Float clone, she is knocked down barely hanging on! Enemies from both her & Sfarx's past CD Sfarx pulls from their memories in the simulation to manipulate what they are seeing/fighting in his rigged game! Enemies have been buffed with double defense, speed, & attack power & what makes things worse is that if Oscuri & Sfarx delay any second to try to catch their breath/gain distance the enemies health that they been working hard to whittle down starts regaining quickly! (Think of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Master Mode) Sfarx isn't struggling at all but Oscuri? She having trouble trying to keep herself alive, at most is throwing HP capsules at Sfarx when he gets damaged taking down bosses however she eventually runs out of them! At floor 30 she gets stabbed in the sides of her stomach making her start to bleed out! Sfarx is able to defeat the Float Clone however CD Sfarx takes the chance to mock her situation. Instead of making enemies spawn right there he laughs manically in the monitor screen, watching them struggle was making him very giddy! Now that he witnessed Oscuri's limit he gets extremely happy. Confident they won't make it CD Sfarx mockery echoes very loudly in the simulation. Making Sfarx very annoyed, stressed, & angry he begins to transform into Linework! Before CD Sfarx can actually notice it, Sfarx blasts the monitor screens to shut off his copy's annoying laughter. Their rage lets them power through enemies with ease as linework, when Oscuri recovers its at the 30 seconds mark grabbing her quickly when a beam of light shows up to escape CD Sfarx's twisted simulation.
Linework Sfarx design by @prismaticquartz
#spark the electric jester#fan art#fanart#spark tej#sfarx stej#sparktej#linework sfarx#oscuri the formie#this was way before I gave her a tail in redesign lol#this was my thought process when drawing this ha sorry if its long#fark stej#I really need to properly rewrite this story cuz high key does fit CD Sfarx messing with them that way#oh yeah RE4 Remake's mini boss mercenaries theme was also being looped in my head lol thats the dire vibe I going for#this drawing/concept of the story is so old I need to rework it ahhh passes away#kinda wrote this as a one off but now thinking about it being a key factor in Oscuri's & Sfarx's story#combat data sfarx#combat data fark#combat data spark#cd sfarx#also couldn't decide which shading style looked better#celshades or blurred so went with both
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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vivid old tale an + bonus timelapse :))
#project sekai#prsk#pjsk#proseka#prsk fa#pjsekai#an shiraishi#i painted this last night#and i wanted to paint it to share my process for more... paint-y things#and then i watched the timelapse and i was like “oh god you literally can't make out the process at all its such a mess”#but its here anyway! thank you tumblr for letting me upload both a photo and a video in the same post (twt does not)#flashing images#flashing lights#my art#artists on tumblr
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