#this is my 4th time trying to post this thing

[its-just-m]

I wanted to post something and seeing this just got me typing so most of this probably won't be related to the above.

As someone that gave up on sexuality as a whole when they were a teenager.

At the time I didn't have much freedom to look into it and anyone I did approach about the subject, regardless of gender, said no.

Trying to figure it out at ~30, as a virgin, sucks.

Not only virgin, never been in a relationship, never been on a date. After the 3rd or 4th person in a row saying the exact same thing "You? Pft, Never" I stopped trying.

Was never that good socially and I often put sentences together incorrectly. The meaning is mostly correct but sometimes the wrong word means the person never talks to me again. Never felt confident, often felt like I was the enemy. My physical appearance does not help matters, people treated me like I was dangerous and I started to believe them. So I stayed away from people whenever I could.

This went downhill quickly.

Edit: It's my eyes that people have issue with. Had them called "crazy eyes", "somehow dead inside and too aware at the same time", told I "see too much", had an army vet I worked with tell me "I feel like you have an incredible capacity for violence but society has told you your whole life it's wrong so you've locked it away and it's killing you". Like, bruh.

I had a bit of a (mid?) life crisis a while back, quit my job, got some piercings, and decided to try being more social and also some dating apps.

With the dating stuff I was so unprepared for a lot of the questions they asked, I spent a couple weeks looking stuff up and playing around with personality/ sexuality/ gender tests trying to find answers.

The answers I got were ...

Neutral.

Like,

Not straight, but not bi or gay either

Not cis, but not trans

Not binary but not NB/fluid

Not ace but not alo

There's one sexuality and gender test that has a square chart where each corner has either cis or gay or what have you.

Dead fucking center, both nothing and everything.

Edit: "contrary" might be a better word than neutral, possessing conflicting trais rather than none at all?

Even my looks are just average, not short but not tall, not thin but not obesse, I'm told I'm not ugly but apparently I'm not beautiful either, not ripped but no limp noodle, no big tits or "nice cock" to show off, but not so lacking as to be pitiful either.

I put finding answers on pause and tried to just answer all the dating questions as best I could and figured as I met people I would learn more about myself.

All I have learned is the only way I'm gonna get someone to talk to me or spend any time with me is by paying them. And my financial situation isn't impressive either.

I'm not bothered by the lack of success, I expected failure (though I had hoped i was wrong). More that I want to know who/what I am and I can't seem to figure it out because I don't have anything someone else wants and I can't afford to persuade them financially.

Looking at any kind of romance/ sexual media just makes me feel jealous and lonely. I can't put myself in any of the situations but somehow I could see myself on both sides and it doesn't seem likely to fufil the craving that I have.

Often times I will look at a person and not feel anything. Or I will acknowledge they are aesthetically pleasing. Sometimes I will feel something but struggle to decipher if it's lust or jealousy.

The only feeling I think I understand is the craving for intimacy. I struggle to explain it but it like all the things couples do but without the sex part, or maybe that part too but I don't understand it enough to know where it fits in.

I just want to learn things about them, to touch them in places that aren't inherently sexual but also need consent for.

And the same the other way around. I want someone to see that I have worth (other than the old man that runs the liquor store who's always high). I want to be comfortable enough around someone that being touched doesn't make me want to go light myself on fire.

Oof

Got thru all that and only that last one got me teared up.

Anyways, I've come across a couple things with older individuals exploring sexuality but it's usually either "I'm a virgin and I just need a dark-daddy to teach me pleasure" or "haven't had much luck with men and this chick is making me feel some type of way and btw I was so repressed lol" or 40yr old virgin type a story. Or yoai.

Mostly not helpful.

Idk, I think I've run out of words for the moment.

Edit: I want to add that I in no way feel entitled to the attention of others or that it's their fault for not wanting to be around me, more that I'm never going to be good enough anyways so why try. But then like, sometimes trying out of spite too.

Don't hesitate to ignore!

-M

characters in their 30's and older exploring their sexuality and discovering themselves beyond their teens and twenties is so important and beautiful and worth telling

[falesiastuff]

Emmrich and Kate fan comics!!

It's a story that I invented that is unrelated to the event in Veilguard with Kate, who is my OC. I'm trying to post it consistently.

Page 11th is out and is the last one for this intro!!

1st, 2nd and 3rd pages.

4th page.

5th page.

6th page.

7th page.

8th page

9th page 10th page

I'm so proud of myself!! I never set a goal like this and never thought I could finish an entire comics chapter! This is a huge accomplishment for me, after 4 years without drawing properly. If I come back to the first version of the first page, I realize I've made huge progress!! I changed multiple things, studied, watched other artists' styles, and searched for references. I have so much to learn but it's ok, it's a process that constantly evolves. So, big hug to myself!! Now, I have to go back to all the other pages and adapt/correct them with the style I achieved on the last page. This doesn't mean the style won't change anymore but at least, it will be this one for this chapter. Then I will think of a cover and maybe a proper title XD! I've already put down some ideas for the next chapter but it will take time. In the meantime, I will post doodles and sketches :).

Hope you'll enjoy it!!

And thank you as always to @holdingontojupiter for checking on my writing and her feedback. She is such a lovely person and she's writing a fanfic on Emmrich set on the world of Chantry, Delectatio Morosa!! Go read it, it's wonderfully written! Or you could read her other fanfic on Emmrich, Office Hours! Or read both, better!

[ilysungho]

hello! can i ask for 66 and 73 for sungho? thank u sm i love ur works <33

a/n: hi guys... long time no full fic... this has been sitting in my drafts for too long but it's finally out!!! she's free!!! I ONLY HAVE A COUPLE MORE PROMPTS AND AFTER I HAVE SO MANY FICS TO POST IM SO EXCITEDDDD!! with that being said, enjoy and let me know what you guys think ^-^ wc: 1.1k contains: sungho x reader, after-4th-date!sungho, virgin!sungho, reader is implied to have some experience, sungho cums too fast lol, car sex, riding, lowercase intended, prompts italicized

"so, are you going to kiss me or what?" the words lingered in the air for a moment as sungho contemplated what he should do. the options were simple: leave or you. and of course, he chose the latter.

the inexperienced boy had no idea what he was doing, leaning into you amidst the confined space of his parked car. his lips smashed yours with hurry, hoping that that was the right move to make, but you just pushed him back and readjusted his face. diving in once again, this time you leading the way, your lips smacked loudly as the faint jazz tunes played through the radio. but sungho minded it; he wanted to hear your every movement, but his head was clouded with whether he was doing anything right at all.

your hands reached around his neck to bring him closer to you, relaxing in your seat as he made his way over to the passenger's seat. as soon as he was on top of you, your hand went down to the adjustments, pushing the seat back to have him lay on top of you while you both continued the heated motions.

his blue button down, ever the same neatness for the past 4 dates, was finally getting unbuttoned, a new look following the boy on top of you. both yours and his hands worked together, him unbuttoning from the bottom while you did so from the top. and when they met in the middle, you tugged him to the side so your positions could change. he obliged, moving to have you straddling him rather uncomfortably while the kiss remained unbroken.

sungho reached his hand under your shirt, trying to do what he's heard from his friends whenever they talked about having sex. unhooking a bra should be pretty simple right? just squeeze and pinc-

"ow! that was my skin dummy. need a hand?" he messed up the simplest (not so much) thing, but now he's glad he did. otherwise how else would he have seen you pull your shirt and bra off of you, leaving you half bare for him? he was already breathless from the kisses but now it just felt like you were trying to give him a heart attack. licking his lips, he reached ahead to touch your skin, also turning off the radio.

the softest touch had you let out a small moan, and it ignited a fire within him. he needed more of it as he pressed onto you. it was like someone took over him as his hands then held your waist and pulled you closer. his lips finally detached from yours as he brought them down to your neck, another sound escaping your throat as you whispered his name. you moved your head to the side to allow him more space to explore, something he was so grateful for.

"you're doing pretty well for being a virgin sung... wanna do something more?" the boy under you nodded his head like never before, almost as if he would've lost the chance if he didn't. he blushed at the nickname as you giggled quietly, unzipping his pants to then let his bulge poke out from under his boxers. "so hard already hm?"

sungho's tinted cheeks became a deeper color at the comment, almost embarrassed by the fact that he got hard without you even touching him properly. he could only wish that he could hide his face, yet your smile after the comment made up for anything he was feeling like. he could've sworn that if it weren't for the small space of his car, he wouldn't have heard the next few words coming out of your mouth though.

“spread your legs for me.”

you could only whisper the words, mustering up all the courage you could before instructing the boy to do as you say, but even then, there was a slight tinge of uncertainty. you'd never commanded anyone to do anything like this, but maybe it was the fact that the boy you like so much is sitting so prettily underneath you. his colored face further drove you over the edge as you could feel him move his legs apart for you. it wasn't enough though as you once again spoke out, the volume of your voice just a bit louder now, “spread them wider, please sungho.”

all he could do was oblige, his name from your lips becoming almost like a spell as he spread his legs apart as much as he could while adjusting his position to be more comfortable, you following suit. the new position was all the more pleasant, a sigh escaping your lips from being able to properly have a seat on his lap. "i'm going to need a condom... i mean if you want to that is."

once again, all the boy could do was nod as he reach forward to grab one from his glove compartment, handing it to your smirking face. yet another thing to be embarrassed about, but that's not something he wants to be concerned with now as you pull his entire length out at once. lips wetting at the sight, you pumped it a couple times before putting the plastic on it.

you breathed to calm yourself down as sungho fiddled with the button on your pants now to pull it off of you. he gulped as he stayed in the position you told him to be in before, just waiting for you now as your fingers pulled aside the soft fabric of your panties to rub your clit directly against his covered cock. your eyes stayed locked on each other the entire time, blinking being the only thing making you look away from the others' face. you leaned in once again to kiss sungho's lips, red with care, now molded to fit yours like puzzle pieces meant to be.

as you got wetter, sungho's fingers reached up to tug at your nipples, the other reaching to grab your ass from under your lone garment. he moaned as your teeth tugged at his lips, hips lifting to finally insert him into you. shared shudders and exhales alongside the unceasing kisses welcomed the new feelings the two of you felt, faint smiles also being detected from each other.

sungho reveled in the feeling of being surrounded by your walls, but he was only that turned on by the whole situation, and that combined with him being a virgin? it wasn't impossible to hold it in, but it surely is way easier to let go. and so he does, a throaty groan leaving him while his hands grip onto your sides hard enough to leave a mark.

"i-i'm sorr-" you just shook your head before going back down on him, determined to not let him go until you are satisfied for this time. there'll surely be more to come in the future...

[lucky-penne]

Took way longer than it should've 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

But anyway here she is!! My current blorbo Aina 💖

One of the fankid OCs I've made inspired by one of @hantengudelulu's stories because I couldn't be normal or mentally well and decided to give someone else's OC a child💃(for context Aina is Yuka and Hantengu's daughter)

I was planning on ranting about the art process or ramble about Aina here, but my head is very empty right now 💀 Guess I'll come back here to do all that later??

But here's some bonus older art of her that I made back in December 👀

Didn't initially plan on coloring parts of the lineart, but tried it out on a whim and it looked cool so went with it. Also wish I didn't do this since it ended up being really tedious trying to both color and shade it because my (potentially) ADHD ass brain doesn't line certain things on the layer where it should've been so some things would just stop being colored in/shaded and I would have to dig around all kinds of layers until I found where the tiny chunk of the line was 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Update: Ok time to rant and ramble lol. So firstly I originally had designed Aina wearing more western style shoes (Mary Janes or something similar), but changed it to the Zori + Tabi combo last minute for some reason (I honestly don't remember right now). Kind of wish I kept it to be the Mary Janes because those would have been far easier for me to draw 🙃 Also had ideas of adding some lighting from the fire, but I felt like it was a bit much with everything else going on even though it did look really nice.

Also don't know how to draw or color fire 💃

Struggled so much throughout this piece (especially the clothes omg 💀 couldn't find references at all for how the clothes would work at that angle and pose so I had to wing it) and I was being extra hard on myself because I was both going to post this publicly and that it's art of one of my OCs and I wanted to make a good impression.

But enough about art struggles™ I want to talk a tiny bit about my gorl now (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

So she's a half-demon because I'm ✨ original ✨ (I just find the concept to be interesting in the context of Demon Slayer. Always been a sucker for hybrids in most things)

She does have a BDA (fire manipulation/creation) due to her being a child of a Kizuki and an Upper Moon at that. I imagine it having a lot of similar traits to (if not straight up copying) firebending in ATLA with a few additions here and there. Decided on that being her BDA because it fits her name/theme of love. Love, devotion, and passion have often been associated with fire through metaphors and symbolism. Plus Yuka's penchant for using fire against the clones being expressed/referenced through her child is both neat and funny in a symbolic way.

And her birthday is on April 4th 🎉 Decided on that month and day because haha double death number (the superstition of the number 4 being unlucky due to one of the pronunciations of it 'Shi' (し) being a homonym for death (死)). I can imagine Hantengu freaking the hell out over it because he was shown to be paranoid over specific numbers and stuff in canon so this will definitely scare him and think that his poor daughter is cursed or will die young or something lol

I have so much more information, ideas, headcanons, and other random things my brain has created (I have a giant ass Google Doc dedicated to her lmao), but I feel like this has gone on for long enough lol

[spade-andthe-microwave]

Ball Of Energy (Fives Pets4VetsAU)

AU Blog!: @p4vserviceanimalsau

Dividers used from @dystopicjumpsuit

Pairing: Fives x Non Binary OC

Word Count: 2,168

Rating: Safe for Work Content Warning: Brief Mention of cybernetic eye

“I understand that you aren’t that keen on the idea, Fives, but you seriously need someone or something to help with all of that energy.” Echo attempted to plead with his brother, turning in his chair as he rested his head on his hand, leaned up against the table of their shared apartment. “Fine, if you’ll stop pestering me about it, I will put in an application.” Fives sighed. It had been another long string of nightmare after nightmare, and the only thing that seemed to help was exercise, but the clone hated doing it alone, finding it almost suffocating to be alone for too long with his thoughts. “In person. I’ll even walk you there. Turn in an application, get an interview, they pair you up with an animal that’ll suit your needs.” Echo reassured him, slipping out of his seat and grabbing a few bottles of water, already knowing how long they’d be out of the apartment. Fives rolled his eyes and grabbed his shoes from the door, slipping them on. “At least we’ll be out of the house. How long does this whole thing take anyways?” Fives slipped out of the apartment, Echo following behind him. “Holo-net says the process goes by faster if you’re honest with answering the questions in the paper and the interview.” Echo spoke up, quickly matching Fives’ speed as they continued walking. “Hey, hold up. How do you even know where to go?” “I’ve passed the building a few times out for jogs. I’m not entirely useless here, Echo.” Fives chuckled a bit, continuing to make his way towards the clinic, taking one of the bottles of water Echo offered out. 

“Alright. Tell ya what. How about a few more laps, then back inside, okay?” Roachie attempted to plead with the hyper-active massiff, holding onto the leash for the creature. “Great. Cmon, let’s get a move on.” Roachie immediately stood back up, waiting for the massiff to finish drinking from its bowl before the two began to jog laps around the outside field area attached to the creature clinic. They were beginning to regret wearing their all black flight suit beneath their beskar armor, but they’d push past. The moment the massiff began to slow down, Roachie knew it was time for quits. “Hey! There we go. Finally tired out bud? We’ve only been running for hours on end.” They chuckled, gently patting the head of the creature. The two of them slowly made their way back inside of the clinic, back into sweet sweet air conditioning. “Good job today. Probably felt great to get your limbs all stretched out, huh?” Roachie happily chimed as they unclipped the leash and harness from the massiff, helping to lead it back inside of its pen, locking the cage once it settled down nicely. They carefully placed the leash and harness on the side of the pen and picked up the datapad attached, marking off on all the physical activity and other information they needed to fill out. It had been a decently slow day at the clinic, which the mandalorian always appreciated since it meant they got to spend more time helping the various creatures stretch out their limbs and get acclimated to being walked on leashes and being outside with other people or creatures. Although, that didn’t mean they weren’t wishing it wasn’t at least a little busier. A handful of the staff had gone on their breaks, leaving Roachie with a smaller team so not as many people to talk to. Roachie raised their head, their helmet turning as they heard the chime of the door being opened followed by the unmistakable sound of the doors sliding open. “I got it!” Roachie called to the other staff members who were currently attending to the other creatures, administering medication as needed. They knew the drill. Sometimes, working with vets meant helmets couldn’t always stay on, so Roachie carefully unsealed their helmet, brown hair with orange tips immediately fluffing out. They mumbled a bit as they readjusted their hair, covering their left eye. Or, well, current lack, therefore of considering they’d been in a rush this morning and forgotten their cybernetic eye, so they were currently stuck with their emergency eyepatch. Once their hair was shifted into place, they walked out to the front desk. “Hiya there, welcome to Pets 4 Vets. My name is Remi, though most people just call me Roachie. What can I help you boys out with today?” Roachie chimed as they greeted Echo and Fives with a large smile, leaning against the counter.

“Erm… looking to fill in an application for an adoption?” Fives would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting a short mandalorian to step out and greet them. “Well, I can certainly help with that. I’m going to ask that you fill out two forms. The first one is just some basic information about you. Name, address, current living situation like how large the area is, all that fun stuff. The second one I promise is a lot more questions. You’ll just need to fill out the form on what is bringing you here with us today, what you’re looking for out of a pet, so that we can get you into an interview and pair you up with a new friend.” Roachie hummed as they squatted down behind the counter, grabbing one of the datapads and punching in their own credentials before handing it off to Fives. “Don’t forget to answer it truthfully, Fives.” Echo chimed in, peering over his shoulder to look at the application. “I already know that, Echo.” Fives huffed, but the faintest smirk could be seen on his face. “If you boys need any more help, or have any questions at all about the application process, feel free to ask me. I’ll be up front until our receptionist comes back from lunch, so I’ll do my best to help out.” Roachie hummed, picking up their own bottle of water and taking a long sip before sitting down at one of the computers to start logging in all the physical activity of the day with the massiff they were currently helping exercise while they waited for someone to come along and adopt. “Hey, sorry to bother. But it’s asking me about my sleep schedule? Why in the galaxy would you guys need that kind of information?” Fives spoke up, holding up the datapad in minor annoyance and mild confusion. “Hm? Oh, some creatures we have for adoption aren’t awake during the day and may only be active at night, while others are active only during the day and sleep through the night. In some instances they may only be awake during dusk and dawn, sleeping the rest of the day and night away. Helps us make sure you and your new companion are synced up.” Roachie answered back plainly, their eye focused on the two clones. “Any other questions?” “No, no. I’m gonna go with the assumption that “activity schedule” also has to do with the whole syncing thing?” Fives went back to the paperwork, eyes glancing over the forum. “Yup, all of the questions on there are to help us out with making sure you get the best companion possible, and your new companion getting the best home possible. Feel free to ask anything else, even if it isn’t about the applications or anything.” Roachie hummed cheerfully, going back to typing.

Echo glanced back over at Roachie, noticing the badge clipped to the front of their armor with their keybadge that very proudly stated “I TALK A LOT” in bright colors that stood out against their primarily brown and red armor. “I gotta ask. Roachie is an interesting nickname. Interesting story to follow up with it?” Roachie looked back over with a sparkle in their eye and a giant grin that could rival the sun if given the chance. “Well, a good part of it is cuz of my armor. Mostly red and brown. Makes me look like a cockroach I’ve been told. Especially when I’m scamperin’ on the ground. I don’t have it on currently, but the whole look really comes together with my kama. Some of the animals here like it when you get on the ground to play around with em, so I end up looking like a massive roach skittering along the ground. Been told I look silly, but I don’t mind. A good smile can brighten some people up, and it helps the animals feel comfortable when they’re getting trained.” “Safe to assume the badge is from your co-workers?” Echo mentioned towards their badge. “Actually! I wear it on my own because I will talk for hours if I’m given the chance. Thankfully for you two, I’m a little less energetic today. One of our massiffs really likes to go out for runs and play a ton, and I’m usually in charge of getting the guy to tire himself out playing so he gets good rest and is happy and healthy. Just got back from it.” They continued, submitting their paperwork before getting up from their chair and stretching a bit before walking back up to the counter. “And… done. There you are.” Fives let out a sigh of relief as he finished the application, passing the datapad back over. Roachie carefully took it from his hands and went over it. “Awesome! Everything looks great! Let me go ahead get that submitted for you, Mr. Fives. We’ll give ya a ring once we get everything through and get ya an interview set up! Now then, was there anything else I could help you out with while you’re here? Of course, if any questions pop up after you’ve left or you wanna check on the status of your application, by all means drop us a line.” Roachie submitted the applications and information, printing it out on a data card which was then sorted into its appropriate slot to be went over once the rest of the crew was back. “Actually, yeah. You exercise in your free time? You said you were running for a while with a massiff and I heard those things can run for hours. So is it just something you do for work, or just in general for fun?” Echo leaned up against the counter, flashing a small grin.

Fives was a bit confused by the question until it clicked for him. He huffed and nudged Echo in the shoulder, recognizing that his brother was trying to get him an exercise friend. “Yeah! I do different kinds of activities in my free time! Usually a lot of jogging, but I’ll usually do whatever sport I end up finding myself in the middle of. Beats being cooped up at home doing nothing and just bouncing wall to wall. Then, weekends means I’m off at whatever dive-bar I’m allowed into and find myself near. But I usually spend most of my time here, practically here all day with naps through the day since some animals are only awake during certain times. That’ll change up soon, I’ve heard. Getting someone new onto the team, which should be pleasant. I know a good majority of the animals love interacting with people of all different sorts. I can absolutely guarantee the most effort will be put forward to get you guys a good animal companion match!” Roachie smiled even brighter, clearly ecstatic someone was actually talking to them for more than a few seconds in a passing hello. “But enough about me! Any other questions? Even about the other program we help offer, called the Right To Love matchmaking services. I won’t be able to help too much on that one, but I can get you guys all the resources you’ll need if you’d like!” “No need, thanks Roachie.” Fives nodded his head, nudging Echo again who just nudged him back. “Oh, and no need for the whole Mr thing. Just Fives is alright.” “Sounds good to me, Fives. Well, feel free to drop a line. Thanks for coming in and filling out the forums, and taking the time to chat! You guys have a good rest of your day!” Roachie beamed as the two clones walked back out. “Echo, I cannot believe you. Seriously?” Fives laughed, shaking his head. “You saw the badge and you spoke with them anyways?” “Hey! I wanted to see if it was true. Besides, it’s good news. They’re almost more hyperactive than you. And now we know that they 1. Are always out jogging in this area. 2. Are frequently at bars in this area, and 3. Will soon have an open schedule.” Echo smirked as the two continued to walk back to their apartment. “Just to tide you over until you get a new companion who’s perfectly matched with you, right?” “Oh, bug off.” Fives rolled his eyes before laughing, feeling the slightest bit of weight off of his chest, now having an animal companion to look forward to.

[orcelito]

i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3

[galacticlamps]

it's 3am, and somehow, in the last ten minutes, I went from being midway through watching a production of 12th night to somehow relistening to one of the most heartbreaking jamie/dr scenes big finish has ever produced (it's a long list, i know) completely by accident, all while trying not to cry over a song from a completely different play I haven't touched in about 8 years

[nomaishuttle]

i do fr need to work on differentiating between "actually middleclass" and "doesnt live paycheck to paycheck" lmao bc that is something i struggle with... obviously ik i have more in common with like. even somebody whos fr middleclass disney vacations every year. I know i have more in common with them than i do with bezos but god at least i dont have to see bezos being annoying in front of me every day KJANDJKLNLJD

[thecherrygod]

im sitting here waiting to do something i Dont want to do so that it doesnt interrupt me while i prepare for the Other Thing that i also Dont want to do hell on earth

[falesiastuff]

Emmrich and Kate fan comics!!

It's a story that I invented that is unrelated to the event in Veilguard with Kate, who is my OC. I'm trying to post it consistently.

Page 10th is finally out!

1st, 2nd and 3rd pages.

4th page.

5th page.

6th page.

7th page.

8th page

9th page

It took time for this one. I had to fix multiple things, some compositions weren't good anymore, balloons needed to be split, and some dialogues were added or changed. Then I wasn't any more satisfied with the coloring, I spent the whole afternoon trying to find a new way to color the characters and the background, trying something more like painting, inspired by Rachel Smythe's beautiful comics Lore Olympus, but I was a fool XD. I was totally unaware of how much work and effort there is behind those pages. Still, I want to try to paint something for the cover inspired by that.

Also, I don't know how to paint digitally, I need to learn a lot of things, so I was trying to ask too much of myself, moreover, I don't have time to do proper comic coloring, so I need to find a smarter way.

In the end, I decided to make only a few changes, I will apply that to the preview pages when I finish the 11th.

I want to give a big thank you to my friend @holdingontojupiter for giving me some feedback on the writing, and her always kind and cherished words for my work. <3 <3 <3

Hope you'll enjoy it!

( I know Saturday night is not the best time to post but I do it anyway XD )

[vampire-eros]

FINALLY SOMEONE GETS ME!!!!

to me, Science is just difficult to understand magic.

i mean this in the sense that, comparitively, magic in fantasy settings is typically understood down to a minute level without any sort of precision equipment to measure or quantify it, outside of vague "this orb tells us how much magic there is". the mechanics of it are left at least somewhat ambiguous, and the implication is that the laws of the universe, through some means, was consciously revealed to inhabitants of the world.

in our world-- the real world-- magic does not want to explain itself to us. it's just out there, in all its exotic majesty. and we've only been able to really crack into it in ways that are truly magical in the past two centuries.

[volfoss]

i cant even like post about the horrors that are going on currently because im gonna get too mad but oh my god. like i would give her really good credit for writing a character like marius that has 0 self awareness about his insanely disgusting behavior bc like. that CAN work. you can make the reader feel disgust and see things through the eyes of someone who is horrible while not romanticizing the behavior. clearly anne did not get the memo for this one.

[lxnarphase]

━━ ❝ sweet, sticky, thick, and pretty ❞

☾₊‧⁺...synopsis : toji wants to give you another baby

☾₊‧⁺...cw : toji fushiguro x fem!reader, smut, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, overstimulation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, dirty talk, rough sex, begging, smug and cocky reader, feral toji

☾₊‧⁺...a/n : this is a post from my old blog but i revamped it and i really wanted to share this again because i was really proud of it. and yes, it's another breeding kink + pregnant kink. consider it a part two, since it takes place after megumi is born

toji never thought he’d get off on the idea of having another kid with you.

yet here he is, dick hard in his sweatpants as he thinks about you carrying his baby again...how you'd start to fill out all over again, that cute chubbiness coming back, how he'd have an excuse to dote on you whenever you complained about the simplest of things.

it starts off with how he sees you coo over megumi, calling him your sweet baby. you're such a good mother, too, it's clear you'd likely be the favorite parent to that little brat.

but god, does he find it attractive just seeing you be a mom to the kid that he gave you.

the day you ask megumi what he wants for his upcoming 4th birthday at dinner, neither one of you is prepared for the words that come out of your son's mouth.

“i want a baby sister,” he states bluntly as he chews on the steamed carrots, looking at you and toji. it was clear from how confident the little guy is that he's put a lot of thought into this.

“but, i don’t want her to look like daddy. he’s ugly, i want her to look like mommy.”

little brat. you straight up choke, trying to stop the laugh-coughs as toji looks at his son, offended. this really is his son, because who else but you and the kid he made with you could have the nerve to say shit like that to him?

“twerp, you look just like me, you realize that, right?”

megumi huffs, looking at his dad in the cutest little glare. “that’s 'cause i'm a boy, though," he explains as if it's obvious, his precious little cheeks puffed up as he stuffs more of his food in his mouth.

"my sister has to be like mommy. you’d be an ugly girl, daddy.” toji just rolls his eyes, pinching the cheeks of the mini him, ignoring his protests. as the two bicker, you think. would it...really be that bad to have another baby? you always wanted a girl, after all, and toji took such good care of you and megumi...it couldn't be that bad. “well, uhm,” you begin, catching the attention of toji, an unfamiliar smile on your face.

there's a mischievous look on your face right now, his eyes narrowing as he waits for your response. whatever you're about to say is either going to haunt him for the next few days or make him roll his eyes at you.

“i'm sure daddy and i can work something out for you, 'gumi, but let’s think of some other things, too, m'kay?” 

ah.

you went the haunting route.

ignoring the little cheer his son let out, toji can't hide the disbelieving look that crosses his face when he processes what you just said.

'daddy'?

you've said the word, sure, usually when you talk to megumi about him. but something was different about how you said it, the way you looked at him when you said it, the barely visible flutter of your eyes...a silent promise there'd definitely be a deeper conversation about it later.

the very day megumi has a sleepover with the neighbor's kid, yuuji, toji is mentally cheering. he loves his son with all his heart, he truly does, but having a toddler in bed meant limited contact with his pretty wife.

it's only been 3 days since that little comment you made and it's been on toji's mind constantly. every time he tried to bring it up with you, megumi would interrupt and toji was not being the reason his son ended up traumatized because he overheard mommy and daddy talking about making babies in the kitchen.

"bye, gumi! make sure you behave for mr. nanami, okay? have fun with yuuji," you coo as you press two kisses to your son's cheeks, snapping toji back to the present.

"see ya, kid, be good," toji says, giving a nod of acknowledgement to nanami. megumi barely says goodbye before he runs after yuuji to the car, his run a bit awkward because of his overnight backpack.

waving goodbye to nanami, you shut the door, turning to look at toji with that smile as you.

"hi, toj."

you think you're so cute, don't you?

"hey, mama."

toji can't even lie, you are. wearing his t-shirt and sweatpants? yeah, your the cutest thing he's ever laid eyes one. his hands rest on your hips, pulling you flush to his chest. fuck, you weren't even doing anything but he could already feel himself getting hard just from looking at you.

he's never been so whipped in his life.

"d'you wanna talk," you murmur lowly, your finger running over the thin silver chain on his neck. "we could go to the bedroom...and talk about the baby thing."

toji's eyes darken at the suggestion, knowing exactly what would happen the moment you both go into the bedroom. "yeah. think it's 'bout time we talked about it," he hums as he grips your wrist, tugging you to your room.

as soon you both step foot into the bedroom, toji hungrily presses your lips against his, letting out a deep groan. "had me thinkin' about knockin' you up again all fuckin' week, mama," toji sighs against your lips, tongue running over your lower lip.

"wanted to stuff you full so fucking bad."

feeling you sigh so prettily into the kiss, his doesn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth, hands busying themselves as they push your (his) sweats down off your hips before guiding you back to the bed.

you knew he would get excited over your comment, but you didn't think it would be to the point where he was rutting into you as he practically devoured you, feeling your back hit the bed.

“you want to give our 'gumi a sister? wanna be a mommy again," he questions, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against yours. one of his hands slithers up under the oversized t-shirt to cup one of your tits and roughly knead it, his thumb just barely grazing over your nipple.

"wanna have another kid with big, bad toji? tsk, poor cunt missed gettin' stuffed full of cum?" 

you just hum a little breathless. your hand comes up to cup his cheek, looking from his lips back up to his eyes. he's so handsome when he's over you like this, his chain dangling right in your face.

“maaaaybe. megumi just made me think about it, 's all. you've been a good dad t' him, how could i not want to give you another one,” you coo, guiding him closer so you can press a kiss against the scar on his lip. 

“besides…”

toji grunts when he feels your legs wrap around his waist, pulling him flush against you so you can feel the thick, heaviness of his arousal through his sweatpants.

“don’t you want me to make you a daddy again, toji? c'mon, knock me up, big guy.”

after those words leave your pretty little mouth, toji is on you as he realizes that you're 100% going to give him the worse breeding kink ever.

"'m gonna fuckin' ruin you," he growls into your ear. you aren't given a second to protest before he's ripped your panties off, complaints falling on deaf ears. the tips of his fingers gently run over your puffy pussy lips, your slick wetness coating his fingers.

"fuck, mama, you're soaked already." his eyes are focused on your face as you squirm and whimper when he swirls little circles into your clit, an evil smirk on his face. "can't wait to fill you up 'til you're dripping with my cum, doll."

you can't stop your hips from trying to grind into his hand, eyes rolling back when he teased your entrance. "toji, c'mon, baby, i need you s'bad."

"baby, you know you can't take me without prep," he coos at you. he can feel how hot and slick you are, finally, finally slipping two of his fingers inside your cunt. and oh, the way you arch your back a little bit with a pleading whine of his name is so, so pretty, you're so fucking cute.

"mmn, maybe y'don't need prep, you just sucked my fingers right in," he says huskily before pressing a little kiss to the corner of your mouth. "you wanna try, mama? wanna see if you can fit my cock in you? really gonna feel that stretch, though, babe," toji warns, knowing you can't give a sensible answer when he starts pumping his fingers in and out.

when it seems like your about to answer him, the only thing that escapes your mouth is a shaky moan, his thick fingers curling to hit just the right spot inside of you that has you gushing. unable to form words, you tug on his shirt and nod frantically, just wanting to feel toji stuffing you full.

"yeah? you wanna try?" toiji pulls his fingers out of you, chuckling when you whine at the sudden feeling of emptiness. he pops his fingers in his mouth, cock throbbing at the addictive taste of your cunt on his tongue. "c'mon, we're both wearing too much, let's get you outta that shirt, ma."

you waste no time throwing the shirt off, not even giving him the chance to undress you. but once your shirt is off, you're practically ripping off his stupid black t-shirt that made his pecs look fucking delicious and those damn sweatpants and boxers that hid your prize.

as you fuss over his boxers, toji takes a moment to look at you spread out on the bed before him. you still had a bit of chub on you, tummy nice and soft and cute, just how he likes it. if he knew where his phone was, he'd take a picture of you right now; frustrated, horny, naked, and pretty. all for him.

"tojiiii, stop staring and kick off your stupid boxers, you're getting on my nerves!"

you can't even look him in the eye as you say that because you're too busy staring right at his cock, a thick bead of precum formed at the tip. the lick of your lips told him everything he needed to know, but he wasn't fucking your mouth, not tonight at least.

"what? i can't look at my own wife," he asks with a raised eyebrow, biting back a laugh when you swat at his hand that pinches one your puffy nipple. "tch, so rude, doll."

before you can snap back at him, he brushes the swollen head of his cock against your slick folds, smearing your wet over the tip. that shuts you up quickly and toji has to hold back another laugh. always so fussy until he finally gives you what you want. he's spoiled you rotten.

"toji," comes a soft whine, so soft he nearly misses it. your eyes are focused between your legs, lower lips between your teeth as he teases you with his cockhead. you huff, pushing your hand against his chest to give you enough space to shift positions, knowing exactly what would get him to stop teasing you.

once you roll over, you shift so that you're face down, ass up, you hand slipping between your thighs to spread your sticky pussy open, slick dripping down your fingers. "tojiiii, please? please, baby, stop teasing an' put a baby in me...please, hubby, give your wife what she wants."

any other whines or begs are interrupted when his hand comes down hard on your ass. he was going to give you what you wanted, what you both wanted. he was going to fuck you, fill you up with all his cum and whatever leaked out? he’d make sure to push it back in, whether with his fingers, mouth, or tip of his dick. 

when he finally pushes into you, he just lets out the most wrecked groan you’ve heard from him yet, each inch sinking into you stretching those tight walls just a bit more.

"holy shit...fuuck me, baby, too fucking tight, you're strangling my cock," he hisses, fingers digging into the fat of your hips as he gave you inch after inch.

god, just the thought of fucking you not just to feel good, but to fill you up, get you to take his seed deep inside to give him another kid? it's fucking with his head, his wife was gonna be the death of him.

both of you moan once he's all the way inside. you feel so full, his cock is too fucking big it doesn't make any sense and you genuinely think you should've let him fully prep you...but shifting your hips just a little bit has his tip pressing against something sinful. you whine and reach back to grab at one of his hands on your waist, turning to shoot him a mean glare as you demand, “stop stalling n’ knock me up, toji." 

who is he to deny what his wife asks?

using a hand to steady himself on the headboard, his hips begin to move slowly, pulling out just an inch and pushing forward again. "so tight 'n' warm..." each thrust hits deeper and more powerful than the last as toji begins to pick up speed, the thickness of his cock hitting every deep part of you.

it's almost too much, but you don't want him to stop, especially not when toji started running his mouth.

“shit, look at you, baby…takin’ it like a champ.”

now you really wish you stayed on your back, then at least you could've slapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up. you drop your head down against the mattress with a moan, starting to move your hips to match his thrusts, the room filling with the sound of skin slapping on skin.

“fuuck, c'mon, throw that ass back on me, thaaaat’s it, good girl.” 

he starts pounding into you harder when he feels you tightening up on him. the sweet moans and adorable words of “gimme more,” “baby, please,” or “s’ too good, toj,’” only pushing him to get even deeper, to get you to cum so he could stuff you full.

he coos when he sees you starting to scramble up further on the bed, away from his relentless fucking. he knows that he found that sweet spot that would have you creaming in minutes.

"tsk, you just never fuckin' learn, huh? 's always gonna be too much for you, isn't it," he huffs as his hand finds its way into your hair, tugging your head back to keep you from moving more. “hey. hey, nonono, don’t run away from it, lemme have it," he coos at you, following you up the mattress.

you never change, always swearing up and down that you wouldn't run from his cock, that you'd be able to take him. you wanted this, you wanted your precious husband to fuck another baby into you, t'give 'gumi a little sister, s’ i’m gonna give it to you.”

toji may sound like he’s still put together, but he’s just thankful you can’t see his face since yours is pressed into the pillows at the top of the bed.

you can’t see how he’s barely holding himself together, trying his hardest not to let himself go too much. the last thing he needs is to cum before you, knowing that while you wouldn’t mind, he’d be annoyed for breaking his streak.

he’s brought back into the present when you manage to turn your head a little, able to look him in the eye, and god, does he love what he sees.

your mouth is open as you moan for him, eyes lidded and focused on only him. he sees the little tears gathered in them, not quite spilling over but the fact that they’re there tells him he’s the one making you feel that good. 

“tuh-toji, ’m gonna cum, gonna cum—!”

"yeah?" hearing you moan so sweetly for him only makes toji smirk, fingers digging into your hips as he helps you meet each thrust. “gonna make a mess f'me already? poor little cunt can't handle gettin' fucked so good? mmn, shit, 's okay, baby. let go for me, mama, cum on daddy’s cock.” 

"t-tojiiiii," you shakily moan, nearly ripping the sheets as you cum suddenly. it was his voice, the way he tried to sound put together but you could hear how desperate he was to feel your pussy clamp down on him and get his cock nice and messy.

toji's deep, guttural moans mix with your cries when he unexpected is pushed over the edge, the way you desperately grinded back against him causing him to swear under his breath as he lost his pace, groaning your name as he emptied into you. it felt so hot, the pulsating warmth of his tip nudging against your cervix paired with his thick cum filling you up dizzying the both of you. 

you expect some kind of snarky comment from toji, trying to catch your breath so you could reply when he said it. but nothing comes (you have to stop yourself from laughing at the pun). you turn to look back, sighing when toji pulls out of you. usually he stayed inside, leaning down to tease you for cumming so fast...but he didn't.

something was wrong and for some reason, you felt like your pussy was in danger.

“toj…?”

he didn’t answer. he probably didn’t even hear you, not with the way he was looking so intensely at the mess between your thighs. the mess he made. toji doesn’t know what comes over him, his hands practically moving on their own as he moves you over onto your back, then moving his hands down to your sensitive hole and spreading. 

the scene in front of him just breaks him. you let out a soft whine, hips gently rolling into his hands. his eyes stay stuck between your legs—sharp and focused—as they watch the thick globs of his hot cum drip out of your hole and down onto the bed sheets.

the groan that leaves him is sinful, and once you make eye contact with him, you realize how fucked you are. he’s hard again, almost making you believe he didn’t cum if it weren’t for the creamy sheen of his cum on his throbbing dick and the hotness of his dripping out of you. before you know it, toji’s climbing over you, making sure your legs get pushed over to his shoulders as he pushes you into a mating press.

yeah.

you're fucked.

you keep making eye contact, and now that he’s so close to you, you see how crazed he looks. his eyes, completely black due to his blown pupils, have an unhinged look in them, and the half smirk on his face only makes you worry about your ability to walk the next day.

“t-toji, if you need a break to calm down, then-oh!” 

he shuts you up by pushing himself inside you, loving how your eyes cross so prettily. he has you now, you can't run away from the overstimulating feeling of him fucking you in this position. and when you feel his hands come up and lock together on your head to really keep you in place, you feel yourself gush all over his cock at the simple display of how strong he was compared to you.

you're so fucked.

all you can do is moan and cry out his name, hands grabbing whatever part of him they could reach. but he doesn't let you break eye contact, keeping you close to his face so he could see every little expression. and fuck, does he like what he sees.

“t-tojiii, t’ deep, t’ deep!”

“wan’ me t’ stop? t’ stop fuckin’ this messy hole?”

“fuck, y-you stop, and I’ll c-choke the shit out of yo-ouh!”

“that’s it, take it, take daddy’s cock, mama, lemme breed you.”

everything about this position is driving both of you crazy.

the closeness has you reeling, the way toji just cannot bring himself to break eye contact, needing to see what he was doing to you.

his thick cock is hitting deep, almost too deep, with the way each thrust of his hips causes the tip to press into the sweet spot inside you every. single. time. 

he has you for the whole day and the whole night, he's going to make sure you're stuffed entirely and doesn't plan on stopping until either you tell him you need a break or until he can't cum anymore. and even then, he doesn't think anything will be able to get him out of your cunt.

but with the way he just moaned into your mouth, thick spurts of more cum coating your insides…and the way he didn’t get soft, instead pressing you even deeper into the mattress as he began to pound into you with a groan of how much he loved your pussy…

you were sure it would be a while until he was done with you.

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[m00ntunaart]

2nd STARWARS/DAEMON AU POST!!!!! This time with the CC's and the Disaster Lineage!

Obi-Wan: Maned Wolf (Kee-Ayt)

Anakin: Lion (maned female lioness) (Asieko)

Ahsoka: Gryfalcon (Tuex)

Cody: German Shepherd (Beskar)

Rex: Siberian Husky (Queen)

Wolffe: Wolfdog (Whitefang)

Fox: Doberman Pinscher (Vulpe)

Bly: American Akita (Lyra)

LORE TIME: first off! Jedi! So I thought a lot about how daemons and Jedi should work. I did end up deciding that Jedi GENERALLY have bird daemons (like the witches in His Dark Material), BUT not always. The Jedi having bird daemons is not a ‘All Force Sensitives Have Daemons Who Settle As Birds’ thing. It wouldn’t make sense in this AU since Force-sensitivity is a spectrum and at what level would someone have ‘enough’ force-sensitivity to have a daemon for certain become a bird? I didn’t like that narrative as much, it felt restrictive. So instead Jedi tend to have bird daemons, but not Force-Sensitives. Like all Jedi are force sensitive ( and have bird daemons) but not all Force-Sensitives are Jedi, make sense? This is because of how the Jedi raise children and teach them to interact with the force. Because of how Jedi are taught to view and use the force, their daemons tend to settle as birds! It’s ‘nurture’ over ‘nature’ thing. Which is why (in this AU at least) the Jedi don’t take in older children to train. Because they’ve already probably learned their own way to interact with the force (different from the Jedi teachings) and therefore will have a non-bird daemon! Hence Anakin having a lion daemon. “But what about Obi-Wan?” (Well since Obi-Wan is one of my favorites I get to spice him up lol). He was originally very Jedi like (daemon wise) but after the whole Jedi Apprentice/Xanantos enslaving him/Melida-Daan war thing, he daemon ended up settling as a Maned Wolf! I imagine he was just about the age where his daemon would settle (usually 13-15, which is the same reason this is the age Jedi initiates are made padawans), so it was a surprise that his daemon so abruptly changed and settled. Most likely the effects of being so abruptly exposed to violence and war right out of being only use to the peace of the Jedi temple his whole life. 

(Extra) The 3rd page of the post! Cody and Obi-Wan’s daemons! Beskar and Kee-Ayt! Even though in my doodles Beskar seems to be very grumpy and even hatful towards Kee-Ayt, DO NOT BE FOOLED. Beskar adores Kee-Ayt. Their relationship just mirrors how I headcanon Cody’s and Obi-Wan’s. Where they will harass and bitch at each other to hell and back. Sounding from the outsider’s POV like two people who hate each other. When in reality these two are joined at the hip and love each other. They just will never admit it because “we have reputations to uphold!’ (Anakin says “what reputation? the reputation that one of you would murder the other if it wasn’t for the fact the GAR would court marshal the other?”) But yeah, Beskar makes fun of Kee-Ayt’s long ass legs. The mini ‘comic’ is about how I imagine that since all the Clones’ daemons are dogs/canines, when they win a battles they have a ‘Victory Call’ where they all howl. Beskar offers for Kee-Ayt to join in, but Maned Wolves can’t howl. They do this thing called a Roar-Bark (look up a video it’s so loud). This is the first time Beskar hears Kee-Ayt roar-bark and it scared the shit out of her.

(Extra Extra) The 4th page of the post! This is mostly doodles of Rex, Anakin and Ashoka’s daemons (Queen, Asieko and Tuex). All three reflect the close relationship that Rex, Anakin and Ahsoka have. Hence Tuex nesting on Queen and Asieko trying to groom Queen (who doesn’t appreciate the rough lion tongue bath she’s getting). (In fact Asieko tries to groom Tuex and Kee-Ayt too, but Tuex is too small and Kee-Ayt just starts biting Asieko bcs she doesn’t appreciate the bath either lol). We also have Tuex dive bombing Asieko (a common occurrence whenever Anakin and Ahsoka bicker). Tuex also does this to literally anyone who slightly annoys him or Ahsoka. And lastly the little doodle of Rex and Queen screaming! Idk if you’ve ever seen videos of Huskies, but oh boy are they loud and dramatic. I think with all the stress and insanity Rex has to deal with leading the 501st, he and Queen often have therapy screaming sessions. They deserve to. 

(ALSO, I will be making follow up reblogs with lore/plot stuff for each individual character)

[sugarverse]

Hiii! I was wondering if I could request either long or short fic about Tenya Iida. Likes it can be set in a modern setting where's he's a senior college student who's majoring in business and he has to take one more class to get his degree. It just so happened that the class is in the art building, and it is figure drawing (aka nude drawing) . Since he's just now hearing of the extra class he has to take, he's suddenly shocked when the model is an old friend of his from back home, whom he had a childhood crush on. Not only does his feelings for her come back, but he also has to have 1 on 1 section with the model for educational purposes. I kinda want it to be smut and fluff or however you see it fit. Anyway, I hope it's enough+

hi babe! omg I love this idea I kinda went a lil crazy and made it way too long. I hope u enjoy :)!!

𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙬𝙣 𝙏𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧

word count: 3.5k

mentions of: This is really just the fluff portion of it, kinda suggestive bc he pops a boner and leads to sex in part two. I think I’m going to make a third part simply so the two of you can go on a genuine date andsotheresmoreiidaxblackreaderouthere.

a/n: hells yeah that’s enough, hopefully I did what ya asked and so sorry I went overboard I have serious problems. here’s the smut part bc a 6.7k fic is doing too damn much but i can’t stfu my fault gang

moodboard here!

Tenya Iida.

4th year, Senior in college majoring in International Business and minoring in Spanish at Angelwood College of Arts and Sciences.

The visual arts building had only been a few minutes away from the business side of campus, which he gladly enjoyed the walk. This spring all he needed to finish was two gen ed classes, the rest revolved around his major and minor. His counselor helped set up his ‘missing’ classes before winter break considering he had to fly back to Japan to see his family for the holidays. He was ecstatic to learn all he needed was an art class with lab and a communications class. 

When he asked what the class entailed, all he was met with was “beginner artists learning anatomy.” It didn’t sound difficult, just draw what you see. It would be nice to try something new anyway. He was not much of an artist but like all things Tenya does, he planned to give this class his all. The first week had been pretty easy, learning how to draw what you see with the use of models, shapes, and lines. Nothing too hard to follow. He would practice drawing his friends on the sketchpad he bought specifically for the class as a form of studying in the free time he had.

He neverminded it for the most part, excelling his knowledge in different countries in his free time to get better at his major. Sure they could teach you the technical way to do things, but in the end, everyone is still human. It would be inconsiderate to do business with a country and know little to nothing about their culture! It took almost two weeks for him to finally be able to even start the art project anyway.

As time went on and the January snow grew less and less, it was time to start their first real project of the semester. One on One figure drawing. The class needed to fill out a form explaining their free hours due to the limited art space and everyone's different schedules. Tenya happily filled it out when it was posted, continuing to work on class work from the library so that the lecture room could also be used for said project.

Their professor had explained that in-person class would remain on Mondays and Thursdays. It just worked out better for the models and students to have so much space.

He made the small walk over to the arts building for his last class of the day, a small shine in his glasses as he entered the white light of the room. The walls were anything but bare, artwork and unfinished projects sat in every corner of the room. Paint racks, canvases big and small, even stacks of unused clay. There was a stool sitting on a small platform in the middle of the room, assuming where the model will sit. 

He stood next to the stool for a moment, looking up at the grey February sky through the skylight. The natural lighting was great, almost like a spotlight. He adjusted the lights in the room a moment, dimming them slightly so the white light hadn’t been so harsh on his eyes. He headed over to a more organized table, setting out the art supplies how he liked. He knew he was early, but he wanted to make a good first impression. What’s better than being on time?

He pulled out his laptop, checking that the few assignments for today were done and submitted. A small frown tugged at his lips as he realized he hadn’t finished something completely, typing in the last few answers. He always double checked, technology was reliable.. When it wanted to be. He couldn’t hear the shuffle of slippers against the floor over his typing and frankly, loud thinking. 

He could see someone walk past in a teal robe representing the university's colors. Glancing up from the computer to give the model a proper hello, Tenya opens his mouth to speak but pauses. 

“Y/n?” He asked, almost in a whisper in case he was wrong. A small look of confusion caused him to tilt his head to the side slightly. He hadn’t been able to see you for awhile with such busy schedules, but he knew your silhouette by heart. 

You turn at the sound of your name, mid sliding off the slippers and fumbling with the gold silk of the belt. “Tenya?” You smile, asking as you turn to slide your shoes back on and quickly shuffle your way over to him. He felt his face burn red, frozen in place for a moment with his jaw slack. He stood as if needing to detach from the seat, smiling at your happy demeanor and your quickness to wrap your arms around him. 

“It is you! I know those shoulders from anywhere!” You beamed, feeling his hovering hands slowly place themselves on your back to return the hug. He was very hesitant, simply because you were only in a robe. You pull away, hands resting on your hips and giving him a big smile. “Now what are you doin’ taking a figure drawing class, Mister businessman?”

He let out a sheepish chuckle, “I needed an art credit, W-What are u doing here?” He never had any classes with you at Angelwood, A few honors classes and gym in highschool but other than that, nada. Throughout the course of growing up, your interests drove you to different classes. 

However, classes don't matter when your families are as close as yours and the Iida family. Shared Holidays, playdates, game nights.. It wasn’t like you were some stranger. You both always made time to hang out a few times during the year to catch up without the family just to give a real check on each other. It was his favorite, almost like a mini holiday to talk to you.

He loved spending time with you. You were smart, articulated and incredibly creative. You never took slack from anyone.. Even in middle school he can remember you being the one to stand up and say something when things weren’t right. You were headstrong and determined in anything that you did.. Art majors always get a lot of grief but you never let that deter you. And that was admirable in itself! ..And he had always thought you were so pretty. 

He felt like a kid again, heart feeling as if it’d beat out of his chest at the mere sight of you. It had been around Halloween the last time he saw you, and here it was. Almost Valentine's day.. Still as pretty and bright as he remembered. Your next hangout wasn't for another month or so, so it was nice to see you sooner than that.

“I'm your model, silly!” You head over to the stool, continuing to speak. “The art department asked if I’d help in modeling and I said yes! People were too scared to sign up for the most part. I’m surprised this is the class you picked. Did you want to learn how to draw people?” You slide your slippers off once more, untying the cute bow on your hip that held your robe shut. 

Suddenly the room was very hot and he couldn't breathe. Now his heart really WAS beating out of his chest. He quickly did a 180, shielding his eyes and removing his glasses for extra measure. “WHY– do yoU have.. nothing on underrrrneath?” He croaked, voice cracking as his tone raised slightly.

You tilt your head at such a question, the gears clicking a little later than they should have. “Figure drawing is um.. Nude drawing, Tenya. You didn't know that?” You slide the robe back on, giggling at the flustered man across from you. You could see his shoulders tense, shaking his head slowly.

Now how the fuck could he have missed that.

“I um.. No, I didn't. I thought that it was.. I don't know what I thought. My counselor picked it for me and I.. Most models we've used so far have.. had skin colored undergarments… On.” He let out a nervous laugh, keeping his glasses off. He turns around, cleaning them with the end of his shirt but refusing to look up at you. He needed to mentally prepare his brain to be professional in a situation like this. Not that he minded the glance, he just never thought this would be how..

You prop your feet onto the edge of the stool, interrupting his thought. You held your knees up to your chest so he couldn’t see anything but your bare legs. “Oh Ten, I’m sorry! I can ask someone else to-”

“No! I am perfectly.. capable. It's professional and I can be.. professional..” He put his glasses back on, hand refusing to be steady as he did so. He let out a shaky sigh, smiling at you and finally looking at you once more.

You let out a small laugh at the blush on his cheeks. He was so handsome, but to see him so flustered over little ol’ you? It made your week. “We can start slow, that might help.” you slide the robe down your shoulders, slowly putting your legs back down so he could see your robed torso once more. You stopped at the top of your breasts, letting your collarbone show. “Do you have any specific poses..?” You ask quietly, trying to hold back your amusement.

He sits down, red faced and completely flushed. A nude model.. jeez. From sleepovers to recess, studying together to graduating, and now almost graduating for the final time together. That's something you don’t get to have in every lifetime. But why do these thoughts keep coming back to him now? 

There was no way he could still have romantic feelings for you. He’d never put your friendship at risk like that!

..right?

“I um.. yeah, small.” He cleared his throat, “Could you um.. Could you stand slightly off of the um.. Almost like getting up?” He fumbled over his words, staring at the empty paper as if he could burn the quick image in his brain onto the page to get the embarrassment over with. He sighed once more, trying to focus as he began sketching circles and lines as a starter sketch of the pose he wanted.

“When you need to draw a certain part I'll move it, Sound fair?” You ask, resting one foot onto the stool and one onto the ground. Your hand gripped the seat as your butt sat on the edge, similar to when people do that supposedly hot thing where they throw their head back and pull some weird rope to have water get poured on them. 

It was second nature at this point for people to see you. Of course some of them were flustered and it was pretty awkward at first, but normally not to the point of stuttering and stammering. It wasn’t often that you saw Tenya fall apart, but this was way different. Especially considering you flashed him without warning. He was one of the most endearing people you had ever met, there was no way you would have done that without proper context.

He could only nod in response, not wanting to further make a fool of himself. Lightly tapping the pencil against the table, He looks up at you. “You can um.. re.. remove the top part, y/n..” It was hard to simply draw your arms and collarbone without including the robe, so you might as well rip the band-aid off and start with the top. 

You nod, dropping it happily and letting the robe pull around your hips and between your legs. You close your eyes, facing up toward the skylight in an attempt to make him less nervous. “Sorry for flashing you at first, I would have explained but I assumed you had already known..?” You laugh quietly to yourself at your own mistake. Why would someone like him even take this class if he knew what it actually entailed?

And God, did he feel like a pervert staring at your chest like this. The boner poking his thigh almost immediately didn't help, making it even harder to concentrate. Way to keep composure. He pressed his lips together for a moment before speaking. “I had no idea, I’m sorry for my r..reaction.” He answered, stopping the pencil tapping to actually begin sketching more than just circles and lines. He hadn’t meant to yell, but he felt like he was close to passing out. 

“I think it was a pretty valid one.” You send a reassuring smile his way, seeing him send you one right back. Trying to ease the mood, you look back up at the ceiling and close your eyes to avoid staring at the ugly overcast sky above you. “How was winter break? You get to go home and see your family? How are they?” 

His smile grew wider at your question, scooting under the desk a bit more so that you hopefully wouldn’t notice his body reacting. “They’re great, Tensei is getting married soon,” He sounded excited at the thought alone, incredibly proud of his brother. 

“And my mother has started a hobby making soap, if you can believe it. She sent me some to bring back one that smells like lavender and another that smells like oranges mixed with I believe she said papaya.? She made a coconut smelling one for you– I was going to give it to you the next time we saw each other,” 

The sound of his sketching stopped and started as he spoke, giving your body small glances as he tried to study each part of your upper torso. The way your stomach creased, The way your shoulder was slightly lifted causing your collarbone to be more prominent, the curve of your breasts.. “How was your Holiday, y/n?”

“No way, Tensei is getting married?!” You accidentally stop posing, fully facing him in genuine shock. The robe was still covering your lower half, you had tied the belt to avoid accidentally flashing him again but here we are. You watch his face become even more red, eyes very obviously not meeting yours but still like a deer in headlights. 

You quickly get back to posing how you were, “Sorry Ten, That's amazing!! I hope everything goes smoothly for him and his soon to be wife.. And tell your mommy I said thank you for thinking of me. I can't wait to try it!”

A smile stayed on your lips as you thought about the times you’ve spent in the Iida household. His mother always had the best candles and incense burning, you were positive the soap would be the same. “My family is up to the same old shit, you know them..” You let out a small groan, the holidays weren’t an absolute disaster, but after not being home so long makes you remember why you aren’t going to school anywhere near home. 

“I did get some cool stuff for Christmas though! I got some new clothes and they got me a few art kits. You know, where it teaches you how to crochet? I also have a new diamond painting kit, I haven't opened either yet because it's just been so busy.” You replied, tapping your fingers on the side of the stool where your hand sat. 

You look up once more, this time because the skylight was beginning to be covered in snow. You watched as it fell, thinking back to old times when you and Tenya would spend the last three major holidays with each other. You’d always make sure to trick or treat together, your families have been sharing Thanksgiving for as long as you can remember, and spending the night in your basement on Christmas eve to wait for Santa until you were both too old. Then instead of waiting for Santa, you’d all eat at least one meal together on Christmas day. Sometimes homemade breakfast, other times a small trip to IHOP or Waffle House.

“God damn it.. It’s snowing again..” You let out a small laugh, looking over at him over your shoulder, fingers still tapping away at the base of the stool. “Hey Ten, Do you remember when we used to have those big snowball fights? The one near Red Fern?” 

“Of course I do! You refused to wear any kind of gloves and my mother would make you at least put socks on your hands so you didn’t get frostbite!” The two of you shared a small laugh at the memories of being young and dumb.

“Gloves always made my hands too itchy! They still do– But I kicked your ass in snowball fights with gloves or not.” You retort, a smirk appearing on your face. “Ice queen y/n of everything.” You could remember the insane snowball fights the neighborhood kids would have every. time. It snowed. If there was enough to make a few snowballs, there was enough to start a war. Tenya was always on your team, but it never stopped you from throwing a few his way. The ‘winner’ was King or Queen of the hill and first to sled down, which often enough was you.

“Remember when you almost broke my glasses throwing one right at my face?” He snickered, watching your smirk turn into a small pouty frown. He knew you didn’t mean to, that same day you helped your mom make cookies for him and his family as an apology, even though he wasn’t upset to begin with. But you knew it could have broken his glasses and you would be devastated if you were the reason for it. You were a real sweetheart, even if you had a weird way of showing sometimes.

“Hey! You know that wasn’t on purpose, I felt really bad after! I even let you get me back!” Which was true, but he never aimed for your face. Always a spot on your fluffy coat, never your legs because you hated your pants being wet… and a face shot just felt wrong to him. 

“Yeah, Yeah. I remember that part too,” He smiled to himself. “Those were really good times.. I remember Tensei always bringing us hot chocolate and we’d sit on your porch and draw things in the snow..”

“Oh! And when we’d come back all wet and mom already had spare clothes in her hands because she didn’t want it on the carpet. We’d put on too big clothes just to sit and watch Christmas movies..” You missed those times. But they never really had to stop, you two could have a huge snowball fight after this if you wanted to and the snow stuck. Was he too grown for that? Would it even sound fun to him?

“Do you still watch A Year Without Santa Clause every year?” He asks, breaking your train of thought. You nodded quickly at his question, grinning like a maniac. “Of course I do! And I watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas, Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer.. And sometimes Spongebob's Christmas Special. Do you still watch old Christmas cartoons?”

“Why wouldn’t I? Don’t wanna ruin tradition.” He answered, pressing his lips together slightly as he stared down at the paper. You can tell he freezes a bit, the sound of his scribbling coming to a stop. He set the pencil down, rubbing the sweat of his hands onto his thighs.

 “You can um.. remOove-..” He quickly cleared his throat, “The rest.” He let out a disappointed sigh at his inability to keep composure. This wouldn't be half the problem it was if it was someone else modeling. But this is you we're talking about. 

“You sure? If you need a minute we can take a break, honey.” You gave him a sympathetic look, still smiling but this time more.. warm. The kind of smile someone gives to another when they genuinely care for them. Or love them for that matter. He adored it, it was the same smile you'd give him when saying he needs to take a break, the same smile you give him when the two of you out to get coffee and catch up. The same smile he's fallen for many, many times. 

But to tell you the truth? It’s driving him crazy. All of this. Was driving him crazy. No matter how hard he tried to be professional, he could stop his wandering mind. You were a goddess. What else was there to do besides take a break and hopefully release some steam in the bathroom or something. Completely inappropriate, but the pain from being hard for so long was starting to cloud the best judgment. 

He looks down at the sketch so far, then back to you as he rubbed his hand upward against his face. It pushed his glasses up, causing them to be crooked when going back down. “I um.. I think I do.. need a minute.” His voice died out as he watched you slide the robe back on, words failing him because couldn’t think completely straight.

© if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot and helps me out. Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if you’re interested!

thank you @thecutestgrotto for the banners and thank you @fizzintine for coloring the top pic!

have a good day/night/whatever!

[dorothylarouge]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm