#this is mostly about ace discourse but like
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exoflash · 2 years ago
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"(label) discourse" "(label) isnt lgbt because waaah blah blah blah!" "(label) makes no sense" "(label) is (entirely unrelated label)phobic" go outside and talk to queer people older than 17. Please
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redysetdare · 6 months ago
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*Sigh* every single day I see allo aspecs throwing a fit over aroaces posting about our experiences in the asexual and aromantic tags (especially the aromantic tag). Every. Single. Day. Like my sibling in talos what do you think aroace stands for? It stands for AromanticAsexual. Aroaces aren't any less aromantic than aroallos, and we're not any less asexual than alloaces. You're experiences aren't the "default" aro/ace experiences, get tf over yourselves. Why are we only "allowed" to use the aroace tag and not the aro and ace tags? And who made allo aspecs the authorities of the aspec communities?
I can understand to an extent where AlloAces and AroAllos are coming from in their frustration, but some in the tag have gotten to a point of kinda excluding aroaces.... I think a lot of people don't realize the "Aromantic" and "Asexual" tags are general tags for the community, so you're likely going to get a mix of everyone under those umbrellas. If you want specific content for a specific identity then you go to that identities tag. Also it's just frustrating because I've seen people blame aroaces for having posts "Clog up the tag" and it's like...the way to fix that is to make your own posts that YOU want to see. I never saw repulsed posts before I started making them. Sometimes if you want to see something then you got to do it yourself first. You can't expect people who are not of that identity to make posts about your identity - that's unreasonable.
Again, I understand where their feelings come from, everyone wants a voice and they feel drowned out - but when you start reaching for things to be mad at that are frankly petty (Legit saw someone get mad that the aroace, aromantic, and asexual tag always trend together. also saw someone saying the aroace tag had no right to trend on valentines day???) thats when I start to lose sympathy and start getting annoyed.
I'm willing to have a conversation about AroAllos and AlloAces experiences and the struggles they face inside and out of the community but once you start throwing other aspecs under the bus and blaming them for all your woes then I think You've lost the plot and I'm not as keen to listen to you then.
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aroaessidhe · 9 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
Exit Plans for Teenage Freaks
YA contemporary + a little sff
follows a boy who suddenly finds himself able to teleport when he walks through doors, often against his will
and has to figure that out while dealing with a new crush, the end of high school and the queer club, and figuring out whether he definitely wants to train to be an ASL interpreter like his father
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starswallowingsea · 5 months ago
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how do u take a post about how people treat aro and ace characters in media/headcanons and make it only about ace people.
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crimson--freak · 1 year ago
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As an aro person, I’m not unfamiliar with the fact that canonically aspec characters are few and far between, but the way that some people regard people shipping arospec and acespec characters is kind of annoying.
Like you do realise that fanon shipping isn’t always going to reflect canon, right? Shippers aren’t erasing canonically aroace characters by shipping them with others. If characters are aroace in canon, they will most likely continue to be so* even if fans shipped them with other characters.
The way that some people regard aroace characters as “off-limits” from shipping when their orientations are confirmed in canon also ignores the fact that some (e.g. romance/sex favourable/indifferent, partnering, oriented, angled) aroace people do in fact choose to enter romantic/sexual relationships regardless of their orientation.
Also, fandom is pretty much built on non-canonical ships. Some of the largest early slash ships were between characters who were textually straight (or at least not textually percieved as non-straight). It didn’t matter if those ships didn’t become canon, because you can enjoy fanon/headcanons without wanting them to become canon!
I can of course agree though that fandoms are on the whole extremely amatonormative/allonormative, especially with tropes like “everyone has a soulmate” or “Pair the Spares” or “more than friends”, so it can be annoying to see canonically aroace characters treated in that way. However, this is a wider issue not just acertaining to fandom but to pretty much all popular media, so it would be unwise to blame only shippers for the abysmal lack of aspec representation. Instead of focusing on what characters “should” and “should not” be shipped together, maybe the focus should be on creating fandom communities where shipping is not the only goal.
*(of course, there is the problem of aroace characters’ identities being erased in canon, for example Jughead Jones from the Archie comics, but this was an unfortunately terrible choice made by the producers of Riverdale, not by fans of the Archie comics. There is a very significant difference between characters’ identites being erased in canon and fans making alternate fanon versions of characters, and I hope you all can recognise which is worse for aspec representation and knowledge of aspec experiences within wider culture.)
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wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
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Honestly really upset about the James Somerton thing.
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boneless-mika · 7 months ago
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Well, I guess I'm revoking anon privileges
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emblemoftheattorney · 5 months ago
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It makes me sad when I look at Ace Attorney fandom stuff from 10-15 years ago and see how much more comparatively chill and accepting they were of different ships from the most popular ones back then. It wasn’t perfect or free of discourse, obviously, but at least fans could mostly get away with shipping that stuff without getting called horrible people, unlike today where the Ace Attorney fandom is determined to bully anyone who dare ship the Unacceptable Stuff���️ out of the fandom (ESPECIALLY on aatwt my goodness). I know this isn’t just me because I’ve seen even certain older fans note this and say stuff like “Wow I’ve been in the Ace Attorney fandom for years and back then there used to be so many Narumayos and ppl who shipped so-and-so in het I’m so glad these are no longer acceptable we’ve come so far” WRONG. The fandom has turned into a hivemind who think it’s acceptable to unperson others over ships and will sooner sympathize with one who harasses another over a Bad Ship than the one getting harassed because how dare they ship outside the sacred stuff. You really think it’s a good thing the AA fandom environment has gotten tyrannical about what you’re allowed to ship? Old Ace Attorney Shipping Fandom was FAR from perfect, but if your reasons for why it was bad or worse than now are “ships I dislike were allowed to exist” hoooooo boy.
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demonsonthemoon · 1 month ago
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“Le spectre aromantique pour les nul·les » (Arospec 101 – French edition!)
In honor of #AggressivelyArospectacular, I spent last month motivating myself to finally translate my zine “Arospec 101” into French.
I wrote “Arospec 101” a few years ago during a 24 Hours Zine Thing. The goal of this zine was to serve as an introduction to the topic of aromanticism, and as a documentation of discussions happening around arospec-ness at the time.
The original, English version can still be downloaded for free here (and should then be printed on A4 paper, cut and folded). You can also reach out to me if you would like to buy or trade a paper copy.
In 2022, it was translated into Spanish by Esther (@waru-chan8). This version can be found here.
Last month, in 2024, I realized that there are still very few sources available in French about aromanticism. The few sources that do exist tend to focus on aro-ace discourses and leave behind the allosexual aromantic experiences (including mine.) Also, I’ve seen discourse emerging in France from people who are asexual and aromantic but who are totally detached (and mostly unaware) of the aromantic culture that has developed in English online.
Therefore, I wanted to share my experience and the things I learned in these same English-speaking online communities, for a French-speaking audience.
This whole project was also a reaction to an arophobic comment from a colleague of mine in an LGBTQIA+ organization, as well as to the general invisibilization of arospec issues even in an organization claiming to include the “A”. Considering I’m quitting that job next month (for unrelated reasons), I hope that leaving behind this zine will help my team remember that this “A” does not only stand for Asexuality…
I also took the opportunity of this translation work to update the contents of the zine a little bit. (For example, I added a section where I recount my experience of dating as an arospec person.) Should I make an updated version of the English version as well? Let me know if you think it’s necessary!
You can download the French version of this zine for free here.
Bisous 😘
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purple-dreams9 · 3 months ago
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If Thea was Theo, a controversial opinion
I want to preface this post by stating that this is not meant to change anyone's mind or opinion. I am not here to tell you to like a character or to ship a certain ship. You are free to hate Thea, write her off your fics, ignore her existence, and ship Kevin with the milkman if you so desire. This is also not an essay. Instead, think of it as the thought dump of someone munching over it for days.
This all started with a conversation about Thea with a couple people on a Discord server. I've been mostly neutral about Thea, not understanding the overall hate but not knowing much about her either. It led me to read Nora's most recent post about Thea, the replies and the "Why do you not like Thea?" poll, and I've seen plenty of Tweets about her, too.
In general, I noticed one main element when people explain their stance: it is not because Thea is a woman and people want to ship Kevin with male characters. The real reason(s), branched in different directions: the age gap, the lack of building of her character, how little she shows up/how little we know about her/the feeling of her being shoo-ed in out of nowhere as Kevin's love interest, and her attitude (inc. her lack for communication with Kevin after he left the Nest, her comment to Jean in TSC, etc.)
I have been in many fandoms for over a decade, some with more prominent mlm ships, and to be honest, none of those reasons seemed to truly justify the dislike of Thea to the degree she is disliked in the fandom as a whole, especially as the romantic interest of a main character. It seemed to me that most of it is rooted in the desire for Kevin NOT to be straight, but to be gay and be with a guy (or bi, but I see more people using "gay" for Kevin. And some prefer Aro/Ace Kevin, but these fans are a bit more quiet and subdued with their headcanon.) See, even taking Thea out of the equation, there are no popular mlw ships for Kevin with characters from canon, and even in fanon ships the counterparts are mostly (if not all) men.
That got me thinking: "What if Thea was Theo? How would that change how fans interact with this character, even if her personality was the same? What about the relationship with Kevin? Would fans approach the ship differently if he had had Theo as a boyfriend instead of Thea as a girlfriend?"
Of course, it is all hypothetical. For one, a big part of her character is that she is a woman of color (note that I am not black, so I am in no position to talk about how her race plays out with her character) in a predominately male and white team (violent cult) that had to fight her way to the top. It wouldn't quite have the same weight or the same background if she was a male. For two, I am aware it would bring another discourse to the table, that of the "predatory gay men stereotype" (even though there was nothing predatory or "grooming" in their relationship, but that conversation is not for this post.) I am sure plenty of fans would still hate the Kevin/Theo ship, and Theo himself.
Still, I allowed myself to picture it. I read, once, that women used to ship male characters together because female characters were underdeveloped and were not interesting. I wondered if this applies to fandom as well, how certain fandoms prefer to develop and grow male characters.
Things like "lack of canon information about Theo" would not be an issue. Fans are very good at filling in the blanks and building a character from the few spare parts given by the source. This also applies to "there is almost no interaction with Kevin" because let's be honest here, guys, ships are sometimes made from nothing. Rarepairs exist, and even ships like pre-TSC Jerejean can explode in popularity.
With how big of a part Kevin plays in the books and how big his shipping fandom is, if Theo was a thing, I truly believe we would have seen him bloom in fanon spaces. He would have given space and opportunity to grow, change and develop both as a character and in his relationship with Kevin.
The "forbidden relationship" trope and the possibility for angst would have fans foaming, fics working around Theo's past and how he had to fight his way to the top would be written, AUs where he leaves the beliefs of the cult behind and reunites with Kevin would also exist. We would see stories about how his and Kevin's love story played out before and after Kevin left the Nest (at least one primarily focused on the notes they used to pass each other in secret). His mean comments and bitchiness would be ignored, played down, understood, forgiven, or found charming (like Andrew's throughout the series, or even Abby's in TSC.) In a few words, he would be more present and less disliked.
AFTG is a predominately queer fandom, and there is nothing wrong with wanting representation, but I also think it's necessary to use the same scale for female and male characters that are romantically or sexually involved with more popular ones. It's fine not to like Thea, but also to sit and think: would I asses a male character in the same way? How would my view of them change regarding their gender? Just food for thought, I guess.
Again, this is not a call to action of any sort. It is just me, rambling and putting my thoughts down. I can't see different realities so this is basically all fiction. I wanted to take it out of my brain, hear what others think and that's it. Ship what makes you happy. Create what inspires you. Curate your experience. All that being said, Id love to hear your thoughts, but I wont debate anyone's opinion because that's truly, not what Im seeking.
This got longer than I intended so I'll end this here. If you made it, thanks! I hope you have a nice day.
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olderthannetfic · 2 months ago
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honestly this blog's xreader discourse is insanely funny to me. I don't like shipping. I don't see the appeal (I'm some sort of Ace/Aro but honestly i don't care enough to find out more about myself) outside of like two specific cases. I read mostly genfic
BUT i do love Xreader. It's the only time I'll entertain the thought of romance. Why? Who knows! Maybe it's that I can't 'project' myself onto a character without experiencing mental ramifications. Maybe it's that I don't use the normal sets of pronouns so projecting, even if I was willing to take the baggage that comes with it, doesn't work out. Maybe it's because I've wanted to get freaky with this character since before I finished puberty. Maybe I just like the idea of attention I don't have to pretend to be someone else to get.
I don't know. I don't really care, either. I read and write the stuff, it makes me happy, and that's all I really care about. I tag it appropriately so people can find or ignore it as they please.
I dunno, it just makes me chuckle seeing people get so viscerally angry about having to read the word 'you' too many times. The over the top reaction makes me think of a cat getting snuck up on by a cucumber.
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My theory for the level of the response is that it's some sort of dysphoria in a lot of cases.
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klaraslevi · 6 months ago
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Levi and the most irrelevant topics about his character
I have been seeing so much discourse in the fandom lately so I wanted to clear a few things up. I think Levi and his great character gets lost in all the pointless discourse.
His sexuality
Oh boy, you people make me irritated with this one. It was never confirmed or brought up simply because it doesn't matter, it is irrelevant as it gets especially for a character like Levi.
One thing I see poeple often bring up a is an "interview" where Isayama supposedly says that Levi like tall people and I would like to make one thing clear, that is an answer with no written down evidence or an actual translation. There is a version where Isayama says "does he like women?" And then there is another version which says "the type of women he likes?" Among 30 other translations and some fans saying that this was never even said, you cannot take this as canon, let alone give someone a screenshot from a random article online to convince people into your headcanons. This interview, be it fake or not, is not canon evidence and shouldn't be taken so seriously. In canon? Levi showed no interest in either genders. Using offical art as evidence that he is straight or gay based on way he is sitting standing or how he dresses is the dumbest thing ever and I don't even think I have to tell you why.
Bottom line: Levi has no confirmed sexuality, he could be straight, bi, gay, pan, ace etc. It is irrelevant to his character and wouldn't change a thing about him. You're free to headcanon Levi as you like just don't push it onto canon when none of us know and quite frankly, shouldn't care that much about it.
Ship wars/ships/Levi's love interest
Again, another topic that people take way too seriously. Ship wars for Levi shouldn't even exist but he is among the most popular anime characters so I suppose naturally they will. Levi doesn't have a canon love interest and no matter how much some push thier ships into canon, it won't change that fact. The shipping fandom is having fun most of the time and you actually going into thier spaces to hate on them is stupid.
Shipping community is huge and most poeple are having fun. You cannot group a whole shipping fandom into the toxic bunch which I see so many poeple do. No Eruri's, Levihan's, Rivetra's, self interests etc. aren't all bad because you saw one toxic fan send hate to people who don't ship or ship a certain pairing. People seem to forget that the person they are attacking over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS is an actual person, with hobbies and emotions. Sending someone death threats or hat over a ship they ship or don't ship makes you an asshole and shouldn't be a thing.
Fun fact: Japanese fandom has a name for poeple discussing Levi and his love life. They call it "landmine" because it's so irrelevant and poeple get so worked up over who he should/shouldn't be with rather than just acknowledging the story and his character for what it is.
Bottom line: Levi has no canon ship or a love interest. Headcanons are fine and having an opinion is too but pushing it onto canon and hating on poeple because of ships is not a way to go.
The sub or dom debate
Do I even have to explain to poeple why this is stupid?
It's mostly discourse around Levi x reader writers on here and other platforms. I am a Levi x reader writer, I have a separate blog for that but as I said many times before, those things are just my little fantasies and I never push those into Levi and his actual character. I see so many get worked up when someone sees Levi as a Dom or a sub and someone doesn't agree. This is fanfiction, it is not an analysis on his character. We don't know how Levi is during sex or if he even had sex in the first place and the fact that people actually get so worked up over it is ridiculous. This is super irrelevant, has zero baring on Levi and his decisions in canon. I have my headcanon, we all do but let's not pretend like we actually know anything about Levi in this context because we don't and it's the last thing we should focus on. None us are right, it is not that deep that someone sees Levi as a sub while you see him a Dom, trust me, this shouldn't be in discussion, it had nothing to do with canon. And who even actually cares? How does this affect Levi?
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Levi is a great and complex character, the fact that people let all his qualities get lost in such discourses is upsetting. We can't decide these things because we emotionally attached ourselves to a headcanon or a ship. Levi is not something because you "feel" he is, remember facts over feelings. Worrying about these irrelevant things makes Levi's character get lost in pointless and never ending debates.
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bloggingboutburgers · 5 months ago
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Some years ago I saw this online discourse about how Bi/Pan/Aro/Ace should not be part of the LGBTQIA+ group because we can "pass as straight". As a Pan, I was really hurt reading this. It felt like the one group that was supposed to fully accept me, was in fact rejecting me. It felt like if you're anything else than Gay or Lesbian, you can't be there. Since then I've been avoiding LGBTQIA+ movements, discussions etc online because I don't want to read that kind of hateful message again. But I saw your comics multiple time on my timeline and it feels like you're a great safe space for Ace and Aro. I hope you keep doing them, they're really cool. Great job :)
Yeah, I really feel your experience here TwT Same for me... The "passing" thing is bullshit (when it comes to orientation, anyone can be "passing" provided they don't look like a walking stereotype of their orientation... Right...?) and being rejected by those society collectively rejects you alongside of doubles the sense of estrangement.
My past experience with this and bullying makes it so that to this day I still have an uncontrollable anxious stomachache when preparing to go to queer events when I even dare to go, even though I know in most cases it's mostly irrational by now as there's been some progress since. It's hard to detach oneself from these past experiences.
Even this blog being the way it is now is total chance - I just decided to draw something about asexuality again one day for Asexual Awareness Week and SOMEHOW this time around people responded positively to it so I decided to double down and keep venting decades of pent-up feelings. That's really just how it went 🙈
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a-polite-melody · 8 months ago
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Holding up a 2000 person poll as proof that transmascs shouldn’t speak about the ways our masculinity is intrinsically tied to our oppression and can compound with it in complex ways that aren’t just “gives more privilege” (ie. intersectionality) is sad, actually.
Good job. You’ve found an audience of people who also want an oppressed minority to stop talking about their intersectional experience. Do you want a round of applause? Do you think you deserve a prize? Do you think you’ve made a point other than that your following (and following-in-law) mostly agree with you?
Like. I don’t know. Anyone who’s cultivated a like-minded following could make a poll like that with similar results about pretty much anything. A transmisogynist could do the exact same thing and I’d bet the person who made the “is transandrophobia real?” poll could see how the results of that poll are extremely biased and not indicative of anything except an audience who agrees. But hey. If it confirms your right biases it’s right, if it confirms someone else’s wrong biases it’s wrong, even if the methodology was the same, I guess, because…….. ???
So yeah. Anyone worried about someone having made a poll? Don’t be. All that poll does is show the demographics around the person who made it. Well, and generate an ego boost for “being right”. It sucks, it shows how many people will glom onto someone because it’s trendy to hate on a particular queer group (if polls were a thing back during ace discourse this particular blogger would’ve made a similar one back then about cishet aces (we’ve all been saying this shit is recycled but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)), but the best thing to do is block, move on, and raise awareness about why that thing was bullshit. It’s unfortunately the only way these “discourses” “stop”. You just push through reminding yourself that these are a noisy minority of the community and raising awareness of bigotry.
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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 6 months ago
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I really can't stop myself so here it goes. If you liked this episode, just don't read it. So those scenes... Since we watch Ohm get arrested until we see Ter do that, there were less than ten minutes between them. And the different ways these situations were handled is problematic, to put it mildly.
I wrote in the tags of this @lurkingshan post that I think that the reason this was done this way was because we have a redemption for Ter coming. And I was also talking with @colourme-feral about it, and like she said, maybe he will do some self reflection, come out, go on an apology tour and maybe get a boyfriend by the end. (Please do not drag Kao into this or I will lose it for real). For me that's the only rational explanation as to why these scenes were handled in such a different way.
But that certainly does not justify it. And the thing is, even if the writing wasn't always stellar, this show has been trying to say some important things. The proposal that followed the marriage equality news, the HPV psa's, all the conversations around sex, having an ace character for crying out loud, and so on. And how did they get this one so wrong.
The first scene was fine. Ohm did something really wrong (and criminal) and faced the consequences. I don't believe we will ever see him again. And then not 10 minutes later Ter does the same thing, ,and yes, it was the same thing, and we're suppose to think it's funny? We're suppose to react to this like it's an opportunity for growth for Dee or for the relationship with Yak?Or even better, a point of comparison between red or green flags? (Which, by the way, that is not the bar people. I am all for red flag and green flag discourse and banter but seriously not assaulting someone is not where we want that line to be).
It's not cute and it pisses me off because this is important. Because if you're gonna include SA or even anything close to that, you at least should keep it consistent. Either it is a big deal or it isn't. I might hate how it's handled either way but choose a side. There's already such a stigma in how we treat SA differently when it comes to gay men, and to have such a clear representation of that in the space of ten minutes was honestly outrageous. Not to mention that, just like @twig-tea wrote here, using these sa plots as a way to push romance forward is unfeeling and for me it taints anything that comes after. As gorgeous or cute as these two may be, it just doesn't land well for me at all.
All this to say, I am disappointed with this show. I will continue watching, mostly for the side couple, and Kao honestly, and because there are still nice moments in there somewhere.
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velvetvexations · 5 days ago
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It is so unbelievable how many fucking anti transmasc losers there are!! It's unbelievable, it really is just like ace discourse. Every fucking blog, I have to search 'transmasc' and 'TME' just like I had to search 'ace' and 'asexual' back in the day People will JUMP at the chance to do this shit over again huh
You should read up on the Cultural Revolution because it just keeps happening.
Ok not to double send but...
Blogs like yours do WONDERS for my mental health. Knowing there are actually people in my corner while I realise I'm a trans man is phenomenal
I'm glad to help! <3
my passing status is nebulous. sometimes i pass, but mostly i dont. im a trans guy with a thing for crossdressing so sometimes i have actual, legitimate euphoria vibes over just... sitting in my car and looking feminine. like "you all think im a girl but SECRETLY IM A BOY!!!" and it feels really good because like. yeah. i can look like a girl but nothing will change that i am a boy 😊😊 trans guy crossdresser again, my passing status is also really weird because i am intersex. my mustache confuses people, and that's great
That's similar to how I feel. People think I'm misgendering myself when I call myself male but it's more like I'm asserting dominance over gendered expectations lol. I'm male and I'm still a woman anyway.
thank you for your blog. a musician i really respected went super anti-transmasc recently and its really hurt, and the stuff here makes me feel like. less insane for having an issue with it
I'm really, really sorry anon. I love you a lot. <3
love that this person is calling people who believe that trans men can be oppressed "chuds", a word that is mostly used to talk about right-wing conservative men
transandro reactionaries dontcha know
"internet tough guys" still exist in 2024?????????????
Someone said something like "no one wants to fight you" and I was thinking "no actually I'm dead serious I would actually."
anyone who tries to debunk transandrophobia by throwing in "you people" has automatically lost the argument imo. but also I need to rant. as That Guy in your inbox who hangs out in bear and leather bars it makes me genuinely want to chew through the floor when people are like "oh well queer people don't demonize masculinity" GO OUTSIDE. YES THEY DO. there is a REASON fat hairy balding men tend to have our own damn spaces, because no one else will take us. FUCK.
if people want to insist that everyone around them has always recognized their soul-gender and no one is ever treated like anything but what they identify as maybe they should stop talking about what genders that aren't theirs experience
I'm a bisexual trans man who does not pass and never will pass and I have spent over 30 years of my life being told my experiences aren't real mostly by other queer people and I am so, so, so, so, SO jaded by it. I'm done. If you tell me "your lived experiences are not a real thing" then you're the villain. I can't stand it. I genuinely cannot take it anymore. I have absolutely nowhere to go and I feel so unbelievably hopeless.
Try to hang in there anon. It's okay to disengage and avoid discourse. I know it's not always possible, but there's nothing wrong with unplugging from this shit as much as you can. You have to focus on your happiness.
I love you. <3
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