#this is more a personal rant than anything. but i do think it still qualifies as a critique on the writing

[flying-fangirls]

Can I be so honest with y'all? I think Malevolent has a consistent habit of introducing allusions, building them up to be high-potential wells of story and character depth, and then just deciding to use them solely for aesthetic in the end. Like, most of the references and metaphors just kinda end up as set-dressing and nothing more.

Season 5 had layers of allusions to Revelations, which all had pretty obvious potential to be drawn on. And I fully expected the huge build up of all those metaphors to go somewhere meaningful, but they just- didn't? They just kind of... floated vaguely away, with no pay off? Maybe the Day of Wrath event will get more in the season finale, but I really don't see that happening with the ending of Part 51. The horsemen plotline looked like it was going to mean something, but then everyone died before they could take a role in that plot, and the metaphor's potential fizzled out right alongside them.

And while s5 is what's freshest on my mind, it's definitely not the only instance. I mean, I wrote a whole breakdown of the untapped potential of the "Solitude" allusion in Arthur's story on the train, and that's just one more case out of the whole show. There's plenty of mythological allusions throughout s2, there's a million different times when a character quotes some random song/saying but doesn't do anything with it afterward, and honestly several of the poetry references have legs to go a lot farther than the show ever bothers to take them. I don't know, I don't even think it's that big of a deal since I still enjoy the show overall, but it annoys me when art claims depth for simply mentioning an idea without actually building the depth itself

[spacespore]

im so over it with high school and especially with math class !!!!!

[pitconfirm]

Everybody says lance is a bad driver when he's literally been in a car that falls apart easier than a Jenga tower falls. Like did nobody see the whole steering wheel of the car pop off. Aston Martin is probably gonna be a team to watch out for in 2026 from what im hearing.

Idk how but this turned into a long rant from me about his driving and media perception LOL. tldr I 100% agree; more below the cut:

Honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about the way people have been talking about Lance lately on socmed despite having a really solid run of races. Cause I feel like it was never this consistently bad in the past except when things were at low lows, like the mid-2023 nightmare period where he just wasn’t clicking with the car at all. And I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there’s been a pretty huge influx of fans who come into F1 only seeing the RPM-style hatred of him, and the jokes on TikTok about there being ‘19 good drivers and Stroll’, and people see this and genuinely think Lance is the worst driver to ever drive.

And it just makes this circlejerk of fans who don’t get that he’s a good racer because they don’t look at anything below the top 5. And then they see Lance in the top 10 in the championship and go “Omg? How did that happen?? I thought he couldn’t drive???”. I even see some newish Lance ‘fans’ sometimes saying “I know he’s a terrible racer but he seems cute 🥺”. But anyone who’s actually been paying attention to the midfield for longer than like. 3 races. can tell you that Lance isn’t the bad driver people pretend he is.

I think he just has a very specific skill set that can really shine in the right car and the right conditions. Like people call him ‘inconsistent’, but even though the 21-22 Aston was slow, he actually had two really solid and consistent years, just didn’t have the points to show for it cause he was always chilling around the p10-11 spots IIRC (but all of this is based on my personal and probably biased memory so… take it with a grain of salt LOL). He’s made some boneheaded mistakes in the past, but they get blown massively out of proportion compared to other drivers. And this year, he’s made fewer mistakes than most of the grid, which is why he’s still up in p10.

I think he’s a mediocre qualifier but a really really solid racer, especially in tricky conditions where others flail (Ann has a really good post here about why that is). I don’t think he’s really meshed with the Aston under the current regs, but I’m hoping the 26 car can give him the right stuff to prove something.

[ironunderstands]

My reaction (or rather rebuttal) to this amazing theory by Lalody’s lore; and how I think it exposes a problem with theory making in general

Now disclaimer, I would like to start off by saying that this is not an attack on the creator of this video in the slightest. This is a very well researched and thought out theory and I 100% understand why she came to the conclusions she did, even if admittedly I believe they are a bit of a stretch. I also am not here to debunk anything, lore is not my speciality or something I really care about in general, and admittedly I’m not very well versed in it even if I know the basics.

Rather, this post is going to be discussing this theory from a thematic/charaterization perspective, and why I think it’s wrong because of that- as well as how it exposes problems with theory making in general.

This is going to be mostly a stream of consciousness-style rant, and although I recommend you watch that video before reading this (both because it’s a) very good, and b) obviously relevant to the conversation), I’m going to be speaking very generally about the content in it, so you don’t necessarily have to watch it.

Alright, on with my major problem with this theory: ie, never in a million goddamn years would it make THEMATICALLY make for our dear Veritas Ratio to willingly become an aeon

His whole character is about being human and humanity man

Ratio, in essence, is the most human character in Honkai Star Rail, and I don’t mean that literally, as there’s reason to believe he isn’t.

Rather, him (as well as Aventurine and Acheron) are characters that embody the human spirit/what it means to be human.

I could talk about them at length later, but in Ratio’s case, the story makes a point that despite how remarkable his life and achievements are, he is still at his core, human, mundane, and not unique in the face of the universe- that is what makes him INTERESTING.

He objectively has amazing accomplishments- ones which by far qualify him to be a member of the Genius Society- Lalody mentions it herself (and thank god for that).

However, every step Ratio takes, he reaffirms his humanity and mundanity- LITERALLY

He calls himself a Mundanite constantly- hell he made a whole secret society of them, he believes that any person, fool or genius is capable of living their life to the fullest, and he dedicates his time trying to help them rather than chasing the stars himself. Ratio is very self aware, admitting he’s not good with people and can be rather abrasive, admitting he knows how he comes off to others, but refusing to change despite that because that’s who he is. His opening a chest voiceline has him saying that he accepts the material offer it values- like any man would. Never in Ratio’s life has he distanced himself or put himself above others, and the quest introducing him is called the MUNDANE and the Divine for a reason.

At his core, Ratio is no different from any other person and that’s what makes his objective exceptionality meaningful. He’s a character that smacks you in the face with how even the average person can achieve great things in live- that creativity and intelligence aren’t limited to Geniuses- aren’t limited to those acknowledged by Nous, by the divine.

Hell, that’s something I ripped straight out of his first character story because at his core this is who Ratio IS

He is a rejection of the divine- not an embrace of it

To make Ratio an Aeon would take everything he stands for away, and be a direct spit in the face to how inspiring he is both in universe and for the players.

Making a character whose whole thing is saying “you do not need to be extraordinary to do great things,” and then going “hah psych he’s a god actually and this is unachiveable for normal people, just like every other genius- you know, the people he stands against!” would just suck. It would suck. I don’t have more intelligent words for this other than saying that doing THAT would suck ass.

It’s not that Ratio couldn’t become an Aeon, it’s that he would never WANT to be one. It would be the most tragic thing ever to do to him, and would hurt him in every way possible to do so. Tearing him away from the thing he cares about the most, from what defines him as a person would be worse than killing him off in my opinion, and in universe he would hate that more too.

There’s several reasons why he doesn’t like the Genius Society, and their disconnect from humanity is one of them. Hell, when Screwllum invited him to work together, Ratio instead of centering the project in aeons, chooses to focus on people instead. Screwllum likens them to both ends of the spectrum- with himself and the rest of the Genius’s exploring Divinity, and Ratio Humanity- or rather Mediocrity.

That’s also why me and my Screwllum loving friend believe that in “The Mundane and the Divine,” Ratio is the Mundane and Screwllum the Divine, so to make both of them divine would ruin that dichotomy, and the whole opposites thing he currently has going on with Screwllum, Ruan Mei, and the Genius Society in general.

If he’s an aeon- if he’s divine too, then who is left to be the mundane?

2) Why is he stealing Ruan Mei’s and Acheron’s nachos

If any of our playable characters are going to become an Aeon, it’s her for obvious reasons. From a meta perspective, pulling that same shit twice or robbing Ruan Mei of the plot line she deserves and slapping it onto Ratio is cheap and stupid, especially considering he’s her narrative foil which only again goes to prove that it wouldn’t make sense for him.

As for Acheron, the reason I mention her is because the only Aeon I can actually see Ratio becoming is the Existence- who a) probably already exists b) finding them is her storyline anyways, and if anyone is going to become them, it will be her c) although I absolutely believe Ratio’s personal philosophy is incredibly similar to Acherons, they’d actually have to interact on screen once before it would make sense for that to happen.

Either way, the theory itself is an interesting premise, but there are far better characters to ascribe it to, which leads into my final point.

3) Why the hell would the writers do this?

Just because they can doesn’t mean they should, and from a thematic and character perspective, I have already gone over why if they care to actually do his character justice, they would never ever consider making Ratio an aeon, unless it’s against his will or something.

Which is why I think this video is actually an exemplar of the problem with theory making in all fandoms now a days- ie; people don’t actually stop to consider whether their theories make sense in the story.

And I don’t mean logically. Honestly I’m going to call this the Game Theory Effect because they do it better than anyone- just because something can happen in a story doesn’t mean it should.

The writers could make Ratio an Aeon, they could go “oops it was all a dream” again in Penacony and local astrophysicists could theorize on how I managed to throw a brick at my computer at light speed. They could do literally anything and justify it in the process because HSR is a work of fiction, but that does not mean the story itself would be good.

This is more of a criticism of how people approach storytelling in general, seeing media only for their plots and not for their themes, which is frustrating beyond words, because at least in my opinion, the most interesting parts of stories are their themes. Also, I feel that when debunking theories, people should focus less about the logic behind them, and more about whether they would actually make sense or not to be involved.

Moreover, Lalody’s video raises some very interesting ideas, and it’s caused me to think of a storyline involving similar elements- but in an opposite direction.

What if Ratio was initially Divine- but willingly became Mundane. Maybe it wasn’t willing and he was forced to be this way, but either way, it would make far more sense- and be far more interesting- if we see him reject divinity rather than embracing it.

It’s no secret Ratio’s lore is sort of a black hole at the moment, which is half the reason why so many crazy theories about him exist- we barely know anything about the guy personally. However, I’d liked to see it filled in a way that doesn’t completely demolish his current character, or who he literally is currently, as I rather like Ratio in his present form, and a bait and switch might actually drive me a bit nuts, just saying.

There’s plenty of speculation to be had, especially considering that one Cosmodyssey occurrence that haunts my every waking hour game please explain, but I’d like the hsr community to move away from the “Ratio is super special and extraordinary” direction, because what makes him interesting is the fact that he ISN’T

[mikotos-nape-nibbler]

I like your take, but I will say that while many fragmented personality states do not experiences discrete differences, some brains do. Yes it seems "performative" but sometimes brains do that becauae drastically different behavior/views are sometimes required for survival. It's as annoying for the person experiencing it as the person witnessing such a "switch" irl, because both parties are thinking "this seems totally fake."

The whole thing the brain is doing is convincing itself that the thing it is experiencing isn't actually real. Most people don't have distinct parts because the opposite is necessary. However, sometimes parts are extremely distinct because it is necessary.

How this manifests in 09 is completely up to the viewer so your interpretation is completely understandable and valid. However, do understand that overt symptoms don't make someone a sideshow freak. A lot of people carry that sentiment, but it's not true. It's not something that doesn't happen, it's hidden because it scares people.

The language we use to discuss these things is very valuable, and your input is deeply important and well-put. The language many communities use to discuss these things is unhelpful, and catering your discussion experience how you like is great. Still, no one who is truly expressing symptoms like "stereotypical" DID is enjoying their brain's performance. We hope more people can understand that, too.

What if 09 was free to be different day-to-day even when it's deemed weird? You're right that it's dumb to just focus on his self-states, but we can't toss aside their differences as entirely irrelevant. Yamanaka gave us ways to differentiate them because they are influenced by different life experiences.

I hope this doesn't come off as a rant! The way you explain things is very skillful; I understand what you're getting at. Still, it bothers us sometimes that these symptoma tend to be seen as a "circus performance."

nods nods. "discrete" is a different from "different" in the sense that a "discrete" thing means an individually separate entity with no overlap with anything- there is no possibility of continuity. whereas "different" can include some continuity despite a shift from an origin point. yeah, dissociated states can appear vastly different but, due to the fact that there's a continuity via co-existing within one body/brain, it doesn't qualify for the definition of "discrete". and "distinct" just means to appear different enough that it can be considered a haecceity, but not necessarily be inherently discrete. "different" ≠ "distinct" ≠ "discrete"

besides, to be "discrete" is to be static. isn't it kinda strange to call a person a static, non-changing, non-evolving entity? i don't quite see the point in caring if someone appears to be "performative" or not, nor do i care if someone appears "stereotypical" or not. and i especially do not give a shit if someone's being distinct or not; everything's a form of expression in the end and who's to dictate how one is to express their existence? besides, what really matters is how actions and subsequent responses impact an agent(s) or entity/entities. what matters more is how those expressions affect things and if a person is cognizant of why/how they express/phrase something as they do- the deliberation and understanding of one's acts of agency. it's better to know why you chant some slogan rather than to do it mindlessly, right? the same premise goes for what a person says or does or acts.

What if 09 was free to be different day-to-day even when it's deemed weird? You're right that it's dumb to just focus on his self-states, but we can't toss aside their differences as entirely irrelevant. Yamanaka gave us ways to differentiate them because they are influenced by different life experiences.

i think there's some misunderstanding here. analyzing the overarching systems in place that developed Mikoto Kayano in all his complexities isn't casting aside his differences, it's - instead - focusing on what caused X or Y etc. to manifest in Mikoto (which ofc includes whatever caused Z-difference to manifest); analyzing the macrofactors of the world that molds its inhabitants rather than analyzing the expressions of the microworld within a single human being. if you need an analogy, think of anthropology vs psychoanalysis: one is the study of a group of people/community and the other is the intimate study of a single person — patterns within many vs singular expression of individualism. once more, i really could not give a single modicum of fuck about how Mikoto expresses himself, freely or not. i care more about the Cause-Effect in the Cause-Effect-Response continuum when it comes to analyses. everyone's free to focus and approach analyses from whichever angle they choose to, i just happen to like thinking about the more overall structure of things - the panopticon of society itself and its effects en masse rather than the individuals. if you know the foundations of what causes something, it's more effective in changing more things - the structure of things - ergo affecting more people for better or for worse. genuinely if you want to analyze 09 and his psychology, by all means you've always been able to. all i'm yapping about on this account is wanting to see other topics of conversation about him- discussions that aren't just focused on MILGRAM's unethical abductive-reasoning diagnosis of the DID of Mikoto Kayano. i'm all for expanding discussion, not stopping or limiting them lol. and if prohibiting a few words makes it so people have to think and come up with their own ways to phrase things, it would expand the diversity of conceptualizations, understandings, and perspectives all because of phrasing things differently- all because you place yourself in the variety of lenses that gives meaning to the world that different words offer through its usage.

i can understand the frustration of the symptoms of a stigmatized disorder being seen as a "circus performance" and displaying overt symptoms being seen as "freaky" since that's just dehumanizing but there are ways to help destigmatize it. one of many ways is figuring out the language that stigmatizes or destigmatizes because meaning, thus image/stigma/preconceptions/nuance, is constructed in language. it's one of the basal instruments that is actively perpetuating or changing the current mores of thought, thus philosophies, thus people through its usage that is as essential as breathing. why do you think some people have a notion that a disorder like DID is "circus"-adjacent or "freak"-adjacent if not because of the language used to talk about it? words have nuances and if enough of those words-with-nuances surround a community enough, become embedded with it, it affects how its speech community members and outsiders/most of the population will understand it. now, how do you deconstruct stigma in language? (1) be critical of existing language; (2) educating and making speakers understand the meanings embedded in what they say; (3) once that's achieved, it's up to those persons to choose what to do with that further insight and if they'll be more deliberate in how they say things. this can apply to the individual or a/the community that's affected that deliberates what they will do with that language and how it's be approached and transformed to their will. language is a living, communal and mutual instrument that requires the effort of many individuals within the speech community to exist. language isn't static nor are thoughts nor people. things can change for the worst or better.

[ebonysplendor]

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo) 💔🫴

TL;DR: People are always saying "Touch grass" but even that might be dangerous in this scenario. If you thought Mike Tyson's hands were lethal, wait until you find out how our hands work.

Game Link: https://redspringstudio.itch.io/touchstarved

Notable features: Self-Insert, Multiple LIs, DnD vibe, MC backstory selection, Multiple endings/routes, Choice-Heavy Spiciness: 3.5/5 -- Nothing too explicit and no sex scenes or anything like that, but it does get pretty suggestive and there's some flirty jokes and comments here and there, especially with one particular LI LI(s) Red Flags: ...I mean, aside from one of them being a suspiciously smooth talker and the other essentially implying that they'd corrupt us, the biggest red flag is one of them having the cleanest pickpocket skill in history

Wanna know more? Meh, there's not an age limit, but the game pages does say it's for older audiences so, me personally, ... I'd say at least sixteen, but the older, the better. Anyways, let's get into it!

Okay, I'm sorry, but I have been coming across some damned gems lately!

Once again, this was one of the visual novels I downloaded forever ago, and what the heeeeeell, this was so good! Like, no, it was REALLY damned good. I'm not going to get into my ranting and raving like I tend to do because then the intro will get all long, but just know that, once again, I am geeked. Like, why have these game developers been going in so hard lately?!

I honestly have so much more to say, but I really want to get to the summary and the review portion, so I'm going to half-ass this intro and leave it here. That being said, this is NOT a yandere visual novel; however, it is a dark romance visual novel, so, it's still not the super teeth-rotting, cutesy, fluffy stuff.

Anyways, I'm going to tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself (like usual). Be mindful that, because it's a demo, there's not really an "end" nor is it even leading up to the end. The best way that I can qualify the demo is deadass...a demo. Like, it's a literal introduction and acts as a showcase to the rest of the game. More accurately, it flows exactly like how you'd think the prologue to a story would, "Chapter 0", honestly speaking.

Anyways, I'm done yapping; let's summarize. Just a heads up, though, it's gonna be a little lengthy, so...get comfy. All right, now let's get into it.

So boom.

In the spirit of keeping things as brief as possible: We're cursed, and that curse flows throughout our hands, front and back; it is for this reason that we keep them completely bandaged to ensure our own safety (kinda) and for everyone else's sanity. We believe that we can find a cure in this city called "Eridia", which is known to be this city of vast knowledge, and within this city of vast knowledge is this place called "Senobium". Senobium is where we're hoping our answers lie.

Lmao, I know that's a hell of an opener, but that's quite literally what's going on. We have been cursed since the start of forever, and we're essentially tired of feeling no sense of belonging anywhere, so we're trying to fix that; however, shit goes very left, very fast.

As we're on the way to this oh so great city of knowledge, we get hit with this ominous fog, and everyone who's travelling with us immediately knows: this is not good. No sooner than later, we're pretty certain that we hear someone getting killed nearby and the carriage that we were in is suddenly flipped over and blood gets shed very quickly. As expected, and for plot purposes, when the carriage got flipped over, our ankle took some extra damage which makes running a very unlikely option. Because of this, this terrifyingly dangerous creature wastes no time approaching us. Wanna see what it looks like?

That, my friends, is what is referred to as a "soulless", and it can rip you to literal shreds within seconds.

For whatever reason, this thing darts past us and disappears into the mist, but we don't ask questions; we just bolt behind the carriage for cover, and we're thankful that there is still someone alive after the attack. It would be much more comforting, though, if the guy wasn't praying, because that meant either one of two things:

We were very much so fucked, and he was trying to put in a good word for himself real quick before he potentially met his maker

or 2. We are very much so fucked, and the only thing that is applicable in this scenario is to pray and hope it disappears

but either way, we are very much so fucked.

That being said, we simply can't accept that. We don't pray, because we don't have the time. We've literally come too far to get taken out right outside the very city that holds our salvation, and that's all the reminder that we need when we see those city lights through the haze.

That reminder doesn't last long, though, because remember that soulless that vanished? Well, it came back, and the guy that was praying essentially brushed up against our hand, trying to get us to dip out with him because, duh, situation kind've popping off. Now, you remember that curse I mentioned? Well, our bandages kind've tore off during all of this ruckus, and all it takes is the slightest touch to make a person go from this

to this.

Yeah, so...not good.

Anyways, the situation essentially keeps escalating until we're one hit point away from death...but it never happens, because the next time we open our eyes, we see him.

Maybe we are dead, because hello~! Lookin' like an ethereal being in all of that white and attractive features! Like, gyatt DAMN. That is one fine ass angel!

Honestly, there are a lot of guys, and a lot of swooning, and a lot of introductions, so I'm going to kind've rush through those parts, especially since I don't want to ruin too much.

So, to get back on topic, essentially what goes down is that he -- his name is Kuras, by the way -- found us pretty much dead where the attack went down and brought us into the city to treat us. Now, this isn't because he's a hero or anything, but because he's a doctor and helping and healing is quite literally his entire thing, and damn, did he heal the hell out of us...suspiciously so.

Kuras tells us that, in Eridia, knowledge and secrets are what really fuels the area because it's so valuable. That being said, he can't get into exactly how he healed us so damn near perfectly. That also being said, he pretty much implies that the Senobium isn't all that's cracked up to be and that we aren't likely to find what we need there. Now although, we aren't fully believing of this due to desperation, he does point us in the direction of someone else. Some guy named Leander that we can find in some place called "The Wet Wick".

We follow Kuras' directions...but who the hell is--

--LEANDEEEEEEER~! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! ...Yeeeeah, this is the one I'm gonna romance first lol. Kuras is gonna have to chill for a second.

Anyways, we're here with Leander, and what happens here is...he is so obviously a playboy, but the man is smooth as shit. I mean, damn, the man gave us flowers as soon as he laid eyes on us and was talking about some "New here? I'm certain I would've remembered a face as lovely as yours". A classic playboy line, a fuckboy move, possibly, and I always manage to gravitate towards/pick them in these damn multi-LIs stories. Back on topic though, we ask Leander about the Senobium, and, much like with Kuras, he tells us that it's not only a taboo topic, but that the place is bad news.

That being said though, he's pretty confident that he's able to find an alternative to our ailment, but that we'd have to be willing to trust him a bit, which is a tall order considering the backstory we may have chosen. We bite the bullet though, because we discovered earlier that he was a pretty damn good mage, and we're really desperate. We give into his confidence...and it actually panned out well. So well, in fact, this man, once again, takes the opportunity to spit game and puts the gold in our hands next to the gold on his coat and be like "Look, we match". That man is smoother than damned butter, and I'm down bad.

Anyways, he gets us a room to sleep in for the night, and tells us to go explore, but be careful. So we do, and we run into this guy.

Yeah, so, remember that room that Leander got for us? This guy, monster, thing just swiped the key. Lol here we go...

The thing is, we could easily get it back, but something feels...off...about him. So, we play along with his game for a bit before we're just like "A'ight, can I just get my damn key?" but he kind've avoids the topic and, of course, our desire to reach the Senobium comes up. As expected at this point, he's flatly like "It's overrated" and to simply forget about it. Well, damn...

The encounter goes for a bit more before Vere -- we finally got his name after someone called him out for causing trouble -- leaves with the someone who called after him. Despite all that we've heard about the Senobium, we can't help but see it up close and in person to at least make the journey and trials and suffering worth it.

And we do, we make it there, and we see this figure there.

But when someone calls after us for gawking at the building, the figure disappears as quickly as we saw it. Aside from this though, a feeling of hopeless kind've takes hold and we're just...it's just like damn at this point, ya know? But then something kind've weird happens.

This red-eyed woman, who is clearly supposed to be dead as apparent from this gaping hole that she showed us on her body -- no, you don't get it. It was a literal hole that you could see through -- spoke of this seaspring that could cure, quite literally, anything. Not having much faith in the Senobium anymore, but still desperate for a cure, we follow the woman and receive directions to this mysterious seaspring and are told about some gang leader named Ais.

We get there, and we come to the conclusion that someone probably lives here. We call out, there's no answer...you already know where this is going.

BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THIS MAN TO BE THIS DAMN FINE. AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Okay, okay, okay, okay, so I'm going to romance Leander first, DEFINITELY this daddy second, and Kuras is gonna be my solid third. Okay, moving on...

He -- this is Ais, by the way -- pops up and scares the shit out of us. Actually, it wasn't him that scared us, it's his loyal pack of red-eyed soulless that scares the shit out of us, and for obvious reasons. Anyways, for the sake of trying to keep this from being longer than it already is, he's actually a pretty chill dude. Once again, he is also anti-Senobium, but he is straightforward in that, "Yes, that seaspring will literally clear up whatever you've got going on, but boy, is it going to drive you batshit crazy". Well, not batshit, but it makes you a part of this thing called a "groupmind"; that explained the red-eyes. Ais described it as "one big happy family in your head". Oh...okay, so...not a good idea. Guess we weren't as desperate as we thought. He gets one of his trained soulless to take us back towards the city.

After everything that had went down today, we decided that we should officially call it a night. On our way to the room Leander funded for us, we run into some...complications.

Ah, yes. Why would we have been able to just walk across the city and to our room? That would've been too easy. Any chance that this one is tamed, too, and Ais is just messing with us again?

Oh...oh wait...this one doesn't have the red eyes. ...Yeah, we bolt. What makes this whole situation worse though? As fast as we are running, this soulless is keeping up pretty damn easily. Also, did I say that this was the worst of it? It's not, it gets so much worse actually. Tell me why, in our panic, we literally ran ourselves into a dead end. Beautiful. What are the odds we'll survive this thing a second time around?

Pretty damn high apparently. Bless this person because we were about to get one-hit'ed!

They help us up and...wait...didn't we...?

Oh yeeeeeeah! This was the person from the Senobium! ...Damn, they're short lmao. That being said, we were all:

"Yo, you were at the Senobium!"

And they were all:

"So what if I was?"

Mmm...a feisty lil stallion. Big sass. I would be, too, if I was that short. Like, damn, they are not as tall as the baes. Kuras could take their ass out with one stomp if he really wanted to.

Anyways, they scold us about being alone at night and how it's not safe and all that. We follow them for a bit, and granted, we saw that they meant business, but it's still weird that if it's so dangerous, why were they travelling alone and why did they stop to help us?

"There was a bounty on that Soulless; you were just in the way. Not killing you isn't the same as helping you." Wha--?

Well, fuck you, too then! You get romanced last, Shorty McDouche.

We essentially get spicy back, and now, they're all blushy and shit as they start walking us back to our room. Yeah, take that shit, Mhin -- their name is Mhin, by the by -- but we don't have to deal with their sass for much longer because guess who comes along?!

IT'S BAAAAAAAE!!!! .....gyatt DAYUM Mhin is short. Then again, they could be taller than or the same height as us, but we did mention that everyone was significantly taller while Mhin was "Huh...they're shorter than I thought".

Anyways, they both escort us back to the Wet Wick, and wouldn't you know it?

Not only are all the baes here, but they all apparently know each other! All those different personalities hanging out together? Well, isn't that a wild concept. Even still, since they're all here...

Maybe we can get to know one of them a little better...

END OF DEMO LOL. Well...actually there's more after this, but of course, it depends on who you go to talk to. This is definitely long enough, though, lol; you'll have to play the game yourself to find out more, not to mention all the details I left out.

Whoo, FINALLY. The summary was long, but that was because the demo was long, and it had a lot going on. I swear I excluded so much detail, you have no idea, but guys...

When I tell you that this game was so good.

When I tell you that this game was so good.

FRIENDS. When I tell you. That this game. Was so. Good.

I don't think I can emphasize that enough, and I'm not even going to lie to you, at first, I was not feeling it. It's crazy to say that now, but I swear, I was not feeling this game at first, because it was feeling real Dungeons and Dragons, and as much I want to get into that...I can't. It just never vibes with me, and it's like I can't ever effectively get into it. That being said, it was rough at first, but then--!!

Listen. The story started storying, and the baes were baeing, and I was like, there is a visual novel to be played here. I knew it was a demo when I had started it, but when I tell you that I was legitimately upset when that "Thanks for playing!" message came up? DISTRAUGHT.

Anyways, my take on the game (as if it wasn't clear enough): it was great. Fantastic, even. It's just really odd how it flows like a fantasy story book but a DnD map at the same time, and yet they made it work so beautifully. The art style; those of you that have been rocking with me know how I feel about art style. Absolutely enthralled with the art. It looks straight out of one of those DnD campaign or character books. The baes! Don't get me wrong, all of them aren't my cup of tea, but the baes that I'm feening for?! Even the ones that I'm not feening for, honestly. They are sooooo handsome. Like, I want them al-- well, I want like 3 of them, to be best friends with 1 of them, and to throw hands with the other one lol. I mean, like, they're a'ight; I'm gonna have to get to know them because they a lil' too slick at the mouth lmao, but we all know that's probably going to be the sweetest of the bunch.

But yeah, this game is legit. Again, absolutely going to spend money on this one, if that's what the full version will entail. Now, just to add a bit of degeneracy...

IF THE DEVS MAKE THIS INTO AN 18+ GAME WITH A SPICY SCENE. MY SOUL. WILL BE THEIRS.

Okay, okay, okay, anyways, but like, the game really does have mad potential. Like, look at this:

You can pick your back story, and look at what it looks like when you pick your LI!

There are routes! You pick your LI by route! Can you imagine how huge this game is going to be if there are routes for each character and choices within those routes? I am literally so excited! Run me the full release, dev(s)!

Anywho, this post is waaaaaay long, and I could ramble way more about this game, but I shall not. If you'd like to give this game a playthrough yourself -- and I'm telling you that you need to -- I'll put a link to it right here for ya. If you'd also like, you can give the dev(s) that ever desperate "Please. I need more. This game is so good. I will literally sell you my lung and both of my kneecaps. I beg" and let them know what it is! Donations are also super helpful should you be in a position and mindset to do so!

All righty, that's finally all from me! Sorry about the length on this one, but there was so much that needed to be said, and I could honestly say more. For the sake of length though, I'll leave you with this:

Play this game, but also, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

TOUCHSTARVED (Demo)

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

hi this is just a vent because i cant stop feeling bad about certain things its pretty disjointed. feel free to ignore. thank you for the space for this and the patience and kindness you consistently show. it feels isolating in disabled communities sometimes as someone who was medically neglected and falls into the margins of certain diagnoses and is still undiagnosed for autism and never received any official help, it was all off the books type stuff or i simply suffered/failed in silence. i feel like im not "anything" enough to be real or deserve help or community. that my existence is disrespectful or appropriative of the people who have more "real" experiences that should be listened to and lifted up more than me. that i got the "disability lite" experience somehow and would be misleading others if i claimed to be similar to them. "who needs more of some probably low support needs person ranting about their hurt little feelings, dont we have enough?" < evil thing my brain likes to tell me. i dont actually know what my support needs are its all very confusing and apparently only something a doctor can tell you. but i see people say that LSN level 1 autistics are always speaking over people and taking up too much space, and i get paranoid, am i doing that?! is that me? of course feeling this way just makes me more guilty. nobody has it easy, and you cant compare experiences. i know this. but i still feel like im not allowed. im taking something away from people who need it more. its not rational but im consumed by it at times. i had the difficulties of others used to guilt me into doing things as a child and to explain why i should be able to do something. have been dismissed by caregivers and doctors when i finally got brave enough and learned the right language to bring something up. so i just gave up. if i really needed it that badly, if it really was that disabling, someone would have noticed right? people like that dont just fall through the cracks do they? it's prevented me from seeking out local resources like day programs because they have waitlists, though they dont require diagnosis. all i can think is that im some ungrateful low support person whose taking something from someone who needs it more. and thats a horrible thought to have about myself or anyone and not a real thing that even happens. even a word to describe my experience feels like its asking for too much. i haven't even sought out SSI. even though ive never finished school or went to college, had a job, cant drive cant work, and only get by because i have very nice people in my life supporting me financially. i know how long it takes (im usa) to get on SSI. and how likely it is to get denied even with all the qualifiers above. how invasive and invalidating it is. dont know if i can take that process. but i also need more independence and help than im getting right now, because my issues are worsening as i age and i just cant do things or really live life. but it all feels like its not enough, even though i know theres nothing that WOULD ever be enough. thanks for listening.

This is internalized ableism in action. 1. All kinds of people fall through the cracks of the system. All kinds of people, with all kinds of disabilities, of all kinds of severities. 2. The idea that only the most impaired people deserve support and accommodations is far more harmful to ALL disabled people than the alternative. Disability is not a competition, and turning it into one hurts everyone. 2. Having low support needs doesn't equal having no support needs. And you clearly do have support needs that you deserve to have accommodated.

[jellykyunnie]

✦♡ -ˋˏ Basics + Blog Terms & Conditions ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ I am a writer who writes on a whim so I may go on long periods where I do not do updates

ᯓ★ I tend to ramble a lot on different fandoms at once, please be aware of that

ᯓ★ As stated, this user is a yumejoshi. Meaning I ship myself with a canon character and I do Oc x Canon character occasionally

ᯓ★ I am an artist too, so be aware that I occasionally post artworks + wips.

ᯓ★ I am demiromantic-asexual, meaning that I am heavily attached to my favourite character emotionally. As an author, I am not interested in smut nor am I a big fan of them. I may joke occasionally with vile language but I do not mean my words. They are empty and there just for the laughs. Otherwise, I value loving my comfort characters emotionally more than physically. ᯓ★ Non-share yumeshipper!! I'm sorry but I dont wanna see content of other people shipping with Sung Jinwoo, Aventurine, and Dan Heng. Current oomfs or moots are fine! But I prefer I don't interact with new people. this is purely just for my sake, you can ship yourself with them I just dont want to interact as much as I can<3

✦♡ -ˋˏ Inbox Rules ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ Please refrain from spamming my inbox in rapid succession. I welcome discussion and musings but I get overwhelmed when too many asks are being sent rapidly by the same person.

ᯓ★ Please do not rant in my inbox. While I want to comfort you it is best you seek out professional help or talk to people actually close to you. At the end of the day, we are still strangers and I am easily affected by negative emotions. I want to keep a good headspace as there is so much to deal with irl.

ᯓ★ Do not send me gore, sexual/r18 asks or anything else explicit. I beg you not to as I am easily triggered. I want to keep my page clean of those things even if I thirst sometimes for laughs.

ᯓ★ Violation any against of the stated rules here will result in immediate block.

✦♡ -ˋˏ Do Not Interact ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ Basic DNi criterion. I will not list them up.

ᯓ★ DO NOT COPY ME OR IMITATE ME. I am genuine uncomfortable of people who are making my niche their niches out of nowhere and lie saying “Oh, I’ve been into it for a while”. Stop it. You look stupid lying in front of my face.

ᯓ★ Please still have manners and be mindful before you interact.

ᯓ★ People who are just here to sexualise characters. I value emotional attachment the most when it comes to my comfort characters even if I stan them for their aesthetics. I may like them for character design but I will go out of my way to learn about them to build a deeper attachment. If you are just here just because they're hot and sexy and reduce them to just their bodies— Get out. I don't care if they're not real, Get Out.

ᯓ★ Please don't use "kys" jokes around me or anything suggesting self harm and su*cide. It's not funny actually lol call me sensitive idrc.

ᯓ★ Additionally please use tone indicators on me like //srs, //jk, //lh, those stuff. I'm inherently bad with social cues and I genuinely don't know the lines between a joke and something serious. So please and thank you do use tone indicators so I can tell.

ᯓ★ Please do not interact with me if your intention is to just promote yourself. I have encountered users who slide into my dms saying they are a fan when they are not supporting my works really and just promote themselves when they have more interactions than me. Please don't. It feels like you're just here for business. I'm not interested if that's all you're here for.

ᯓ★ Please do not ask me to critique your work, I don't believe I am at the level of expertise that makes me qualified to critique anyone.

✦♡ -ˋˏ Automatic Block ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ Ai art users. I’m an artist, you who is reading this— Should have predicted. I’m not gonna hear your excuses of: “But I can’t draw” Pick up a pencil and learn, do you think every artist right now was born creating masterpiece right out of the womb? “Ai Art is accessible” No, ai art is stolen data from multiple artist throughout the decades of every known masterpiece and even from the old masters. Get that in your head is your brain so damaged that it can’t comprehend common sense? ᯓ★ Ai writers, I’m not gonna go on a whole rant. If you are an ai writer, don’t breath the same air as me you lazy bum.

✦♡ -ˋˏ Request Status ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ closed

✦♡ -ˋˏ Fandoms ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ Solo Leveling

ᯓ★ Danmei Novels

ᯓ★ Enhypen

ᯓ★ Alien Stage

ᯓ★ Wuthering Waves

ᯓ★ Nijisanji En

ᯓ★ Genshin Impact

ᯓ★ Honkai Star Rail

ᯓ★ Infinity Nikki

ᯓ★ Windbreaker

ᯓ★ Blue Lock

ᯓ★ Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun

✦♡ -ˋˏ Who I (Plan to) Write For ˎˊ-♡ ✦

ᯓ★ Sung Jinwoo

ᯓ★ Dr. Zayne and Rafayel

ᯓ★ Wanderer, Kazuha, Lyney, Ga Ming, Diluc, Tartaglia and Ayato

ᯓ★ Xiangli Yao

ᯓ★ Sakura Haruka

ᯓ★ Nagi Seishiro

ᯓ★ Aventurine, Caelus, Dan Heng, Dr. Ratio and Sunday

ᯓ★ Other Characters I wrote for but not present are considered special cases.

[whysamwhy123]

Huh. The first OrangeHook fic I wrote now has the most hits out of anything I've written in the last two years. Weird.

I guess you never really know which fics are gonna take off. But still, this is hard for me to wrap my head around. I figured nothing would ever overtake the previous top dog, since that was for a very popular pairing (at the time) and also I wrote it as part of a fandom event, so naturally it was gonna have a few more eyeballs on it than usual. For a rarepair fic, of a pairing that's almost completely dead (the 'almost' being there due to the tireless work of my good buddy Dah, single-handedly keeping the OrangeHook train a-rollin' in 2024 *blows a kiss*) to overtake that, and still be getting traction here and there after over a year, is kinda nuts.

I have a weird relationship with that fic, in general. When I posted it, I really wasn't happy with it. It has Problems, LOL. The more time that passes though, I've kinda warmed to it more and more. It still has those Problems, for sure, but it came together pretty good in the end, I think? Probably some of my best dialogue, at least. That fic was only supposed to be two scenes - the opening scene with Best Friends, and the Awkward Hotel Room Seduction Scene - but it kinda ballooned as I was writing it, and I kept adding more and more. I don't think I realised at the time that OrangeHook was gonna become My Pairing for a good while. But it certainly did.

I'm in a...weird place, at the moment, regarding writing. Well. I don't know if I'm even qualified to say that, because the short version is - I ain't writing no' mo'. Haven't finished a fic, or even written more than a couple words, in over two months. Considering I was averaging one fic a month since January 2023, that's a downgrade for sure. This definitely isn't one of my usual writing slumps. I have Ideas (Such Ideas!) but zero motivation to write any of them. This isn't fandom's fault, to be clear. I do feel very out-of-touch and like the fandom's passed me by, but that's just because I don't watch AEW anymore because *almost falls back into old habits and launches into one of my annoying hater rants that I used to do all the goddamn time before I realised how lame that was and made myself act my age for once* reasons, and so I'm not particularly interested/invested in any of the popular pairings these days. The only pairings I do care about are ones like OrangeHook - microscopically small rarepairs where it's literally just me and one other person, and that's it. As much as I adore those folks (Gato <3 Dah <3), it's hard to find motivation when you know there's no audience waiting for you. Makes you feel like there's no point, y'know? Doesn't help that all of my ideas these days are goofy, self-indulgent AUs or bizarre crackfics. Even if I could put pen to paper, so to speak, I wouldn't exactly be giving the people what they want, LOL.

After I failed to get my Halloween fic done (it was, predictably, a goofy, self-indulgent OrangeHook AU about Jim falling under the sway of Hook, who's an incubus. Y'all are welcome that I didn't put that out into the world, LOL), I kinda figured that I might be done with writing again. Before January of last year, I hadn't written a word in years. I gave up on writing after some Bad Stuff happened. It felt like a gift to be able to do it again, after so much time. Kinda sucks to think I might be back to just Not Being Able To Do It At All again. Kinda really sucks.

There is this one idea. I've had it rattling around in my brain for a long time. It actually started as a Hookhausen fic (remember them? Where does the time go?), but I ended up adapting it to be OrangeHook over time. I have a lot of scattered ideas for scenes, bits of dialogue, and a pretty strong sense of what The Point would be. I did toy with the idea of starting it a while back (or at least trying to) and making it my swansong for the fandom/my writing in general. One last self-indulgent rarepair fic that no one cares about, and then I could peace out. To draw a line under things, y'know? Tie a little bow on this whole writing experiment of mine and then move on to...I don't know. Something else. Nothing? *shrugs* But that fic would be a big undertaking, at least for me. Would probably take a long time. A lot of work. And I ain't exactly drowning in free time. Plus, the aforementioned not-having-written-a-word-in-ages thing. I don't know.

We'll see, I guess.

If you read all of this, first of all - I am so very sorry, LOL. Second, thank you. If you're someone who's read anything I've put out there in the last two years, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. There's been...a lot of ups and downs, but overall, I'm really glad that I was able to get back into this, even if it didn't last too long. I'm pretty proud of a lot of the fics I managed to write, and while I know I was never the most popular girl in school, I hope that some of my silly stories entertained you. Made you laugh, or distracted you from the awfulness of reality for a spell. God knows, that's what all of your fics, and this fandom in general, did for me. Y'all are so nice. Creative, supportive, funny. It's kinda comforting, knowing that the fandom is still going strong. You kids have fun! Maybe this is goodbye, or maybe I'll channel that wrestler mentality and have 'One more match!' and then I'll retire. Who knows? But regardless, I'm glad I got to do this. No regrets. Well, maybe some, LOL. But for the most part...yeah. Shit was fun, yo. I did the damn thing.

OK, I'll shut up now, I promise *awkwardly finger guns my way out of the room*

[natasharswifey]

The end of us

Summary: What if it was Natasha and Yelena at vormir?

____☆____

A/N: Sorry!

Tags: Major character death, Soft Natasha, soft Yelena, both of them need a hug, mentioned Kate Bishop, Grief

W/C: 1, 845

Link to fic on Ao3

“Why don’t you ever call me for normal things? Like to help you move or come over for thanksgiving.” Yelena questions Natasha, half ranting to the red-haired woman and half to herself. Rambling when anxious was a habit Yelena soon picked up once again after being liberated, something she hadn’t exhibited since the age of six.

“We aren’t normal. Plus its October.”

Yelena huffs and Natasha turns her focus back to the controls. The pair have only been reunited for a short time especially compared to the time they were apart.

Yelena had imagined the day she saw her older sister again she would whisk her away and they would live away from everyone else, just the two of them against the world again like Ohio.

Things didn’t go exactly as planned. ‘Life got in the way’ as Natasha liked to put it, but with Yelena still freeing other Widows from subjugation and Natasha having to go deal with ‘Avenger stuff’, life really did get in the way.

But, no matter the circumstances, they were together again and that was all that truly mattered.

“Brace yourself, we’re gonna get some turbulence.”

“But we’re in space???” Yelena replies, the words coming out of her mouth of all people still leaving an odd feeling in her stomach.

“Yep.” Natasha’s attention is once again tuned in to manuvering the ship past obstacles. She definitely wasn’t fully qualified for this, but things were getting desperate and even more personal.

Melina was never really Natasha and Yelena’s mother. But neither could wipe away the warmth of her smile throughout the small patch of joy in their childhoods and felt an obligation- instict even- to do anything to get her back as well as the rest of those taken in the blip.

Plus with Melina now gone Alexei was drunk a lot more frequently if that was even possible, although the assassins wouldn’t mind quite as much if he drank himself to an early grave.

Then there was Kate Bishop, the naive archer Yelena had befriended not long ago. She wasn't so great at the superhero thing yet- or home security despite her job- but she was her favourite person to spend time with, other than Natasha of course.

“So, how’s everything going with you, huh?” Natasha asks. Despite them both agreeing their occupations were both very time consuming she still felt guilty for not spening enough time with her little sister. The only good thing the blip had done was brought them closer.

“There’s always Widows that need freeing, but we’re getting closer." She responds vaguely.

"You sure that's it? No secret double life I should know about?" She jokes, but both of them know what she's actually hinting at.

"Nope." She shifts in her seat and she knows Natasha notices, but doesn't say anything.

Ever since Clint made that stupid joke about her and Kate practically sharing an apartment her sister had been gently encouraging her to admit her feelings. The only problem was she didn't have any. No matter how hard she tried.

A silence fills the air and Yelena decides to replace it with her own voice before they're given too much time to think. "Are you ever not chewing gum by the way?”

“What?”

“Its like you have a never ending supply, when we reunited, on the way to Melina’s farm, even in space.” She lists.

“It keeps me focused.”

“What flavour is it?”

“Its mint.”

“Boring.”

“Do you want some gum, Yelena?”

“Yes.”

____☆____

Soon enough the two of them find themselves just off the cliff of Vormir.

“Not much to see, is there?” Yelena peers around the mostly desolate dark purple landscape of the alien planet skeptically.

“Well we aren’t exactly there yet.” Natasha points West and they begin their trek.

“What even is a soul stone?” The blonde questions. Obviously after the battle of New York the existance of other worldy beings was undeniable, but there was still much to be learnt.

“Something we need, and we’re going to get it.”

“Thanks for that, really helped.”

Natsha is used to Yelena’s new found and constant use or sarcasm now and responds accordingly “You’re welcome. Lets just try to hurry this up a little, we’re running out of time.”

Yelena doesn’t have any snarky comment or funny remark to what Natasha says and simply nods, picking up her pace until she’s walking side by side with her sister.

It doesn’t matter if they’re deep underground or deep in space, they’re here to complete a mission and luckily for Yelena she has the person she currently trusts the most by her side.

Natsha holds her hand up prompting Yelena to stop in her tracks.

“What is it?” she whispers, taking out her handgun almost at the exact same moment as Natasha.

“I don’t know.” She whispers back in a hushed tone.

The pair slowly approach the source of the noise with their weapons drawn and are surprised to say the least when they see who is awaiting them.

The red-skinned figure in a black cloak barely acknowledges the fact they’re aiming the guns directly at his forehead before he speaks.

“Welcome, Natsha, daughter of Ivan. Yelena, daughter of Alexei.”

Natsha lowers her gun and Yelena reluctantly does the same.

“That’s what aliens look like?” Yelena murmurs to Natsha, she still sometimes forgets the fact her older sister doesn’t know everything.

Natsha ignores Yelena’s question, mainly because she had no answer. “Who are you?”

“Consider me a guide. To you, and to all who seek the soul stone.”

“Oh, good. Tell us where it is, then we'll be on our way.”

“Ah, lieschen. If only it were that easy”

The ‘guide’ leads them to the edge of the cliff. When Yelena looks over the edge she feels a turn in her stomach which she hopes Natasa does as well, something isn’t right.

“What you seek lies in front of you. As does that which you fear.”

Natsha squints at the base of the cliff. “The stone’s down there?”

“For one of you. For the other, in order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul.”

Yelena’s eyes are immediately snap back on Natasha. “A soul for a soul? What does he mean, Tasha?” She can’t help but use her nickname even in the prescence of a stranger.

The look on her sister’s face tells her everything she needs to know.

Natsha had never thought she was going to see her little sister again after they were dragged out of that shipping container.

Yelena was too soft and sensitive, even for a six-year-old. The Red Room surely would have disposed of her but here she was, a grown woman. Calloused and blunt.

Sometimes it hurt Natasha to see how much she had changed, but she knew she had to in order to survive.

Now only one of them was going to leave this cursed planet, and Natsha would be damned if it wasn’t Yelena.

“…one of us has to go.” She says, her voice already saturated with grief.

Natsha has to force her eyes to the rocky ground when she sees the tears already forming in her baby sister’s eyes.

“Surely there has to be another way, he could just be messing with us for all we know!” Yelena’s rising fury became evident in her voice.

“A soul for a soul. We… we swore we would do whatever it takes.”

“No! Stop with this hero bullshit! We are not doing this.”

Natasha takes her sister’s cheeks in both of her hands, making her face her directly. She doesn’t care if she sees her already beginning to cry, she has to look at her one last time.

“I’m so sorry, little sister.”

“No, no don’t start saying that please, we’ll find a way, Tasha, we always do.” Yelena tries to sound confident but it comes out more pleading.

Natasha doesn’t answer her and just pulls her into a hug, trying to ignore the fingers digging into her as if she would disintegrate the moment she let go.

Natsha wishes she had never brought Yelena into all of this.

With a speed Natsha didn’t even think was possible until she witnessed it, Yelena pulls herself away and runs full tilt straight for the edge.

Dammit, Yelena.

“Yelena stop!”

The blonde doesn’t react to Natsha’s calls, only stopping when the two collide.

This wasn’t the first time Yelena had proved she was willing to die for the greater good, the fall of the Red Room being a prime example. It was like any form of self preservation during missions was completely wiped out from her mind, but Natsha wasn’t exactly much better.

Natsha pins her sister’s arms down, sitting on her stomach. Yelena kicks out wildly but her emotions are controlling her and she can’t seem to wrench free.

“Let me go!”

“You know I can’t do that, Lena.”

“You know I can’t do this, I can’t do this without you, Tasha.”

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

Natsha knows the moment she stands up Yelena will attempt to incapacitate her. Short of kocking her out herself she doesn’t know what can stop her sister from trying to beat her to the edge.

“I can’t loose you again, please.” Natasha has only heard Yelena like this once in her life, the airstrip in Cuba. And It breaks her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We didn’t deserve this.”

“Don’t do it, Tasha.”

Natsha desperately wants to listen to her sister’s pleas but what can she do? If she had been presented this as a hypothetical situation: ‘sacrifice yourself for the lives of billions, but leave behind your loved ones’. She would have said yes in a heartbeat.

But now looking into the watery eyes of Yelena she can’t imagine how that could ever had been her answer.

“You need to let me go, Lena.” Natasha whispers, knowing her instructions must be near impossible.

Yelena breaks down into sobs, unable to speak she simply lets Natsha hold her, rocking her back and forth until she’s reduced to small hiccups.

After Yelena can cry no longer, Natsha begins to speak again.

“Its okay, little sister.”

Natasha aims her Widow’s bite at Yelena and before she has time to react, she’s out cold.

Yelena wakes up again half submerged in dark waters and it takes her only a few seconds to recount everything that happened in the last hour.

“Natsha? Natsha!”

She stands, scanning the scenery desperately until she notices the presence of a small, solid object in her hand.

A stone.

Yelena opens her gloved plam and when she sees the gold glow which is so bright she has to shield her eyes for a moment, she knows.

All she has left of her is a single stone. A stone that holds her smile and love, a stone that she died and left her for.

Her sister Natasha Romanoff is dead, and there was nothing she could have done to stop her.

____☆____

“I hate to be right, please, tell me I'm wrong,

Please, tell me I'm wrong,

'Cause it's on again, off again,

Love you like oxygen,

I don't know what to say or do"

-Habits, Genevieve Stokes

I now have the entire Endgame script on my phone :]

[frankburns-eatsworms]

So i've slowly been writing this fic, I'm gonna post the first chapter on AO3 soon, but it still needs some finishing touches. I'm hoping posting a snippet here will kick my ass into action. I already have one fic about Charles and Kelly up i'll link it below.

“Any sixes?”

“Swim with the fishes.'' Hawkeye responds to his mustachioed companion in his best James Cagney impression.

“Do you two not have anything better to do than play these childish games?” Comes the pompous interjection of one Major Charles Emmerson Winchester the Third MD.

“A little diversion is good for you every now and again Charles, you should try it sometime, something other than surgery to capture your focus” responded B.J without looking up from his game of go fish. 

“I have my music, that is all I need to preserve my sanity.” Charles replied calmly

“I guess music does calm the savage beast” Hawkeye quipped

“It is clear, Pierce that you've never met a civilized person before now, being from the far North, you’re more adept at building relationships with moose”

Before Hawkeye could joust back with what would have been an hilarious rebuttal about long legged brunettes, Radar came into the swamp

“Mail call sirs” He stated, like the giant bag filled with letters wasn't enough to tell, let alone the camp-wide announcement not five minutes ago. 

This ones from Massachusetts Sir. he said grinning as he handed the letter to Charles. 

The Major snatched it out his hand, grumbling, “where else would it be from? They already drafted me.” 

“Charles, that was almost a joke, are you feeling alright?” Hawkeye asked, feigning concern. 

Charles ignored him, tearing into his letter.

“Um I have a couple for you sirs, too sirs.” Radar said. 

“I'll take mine in the study” Hawkeye said poshly as he flopped onto his cot. 

“I do not believe my eyes!” Charles erupted from is chair 

“What's the matter, Boston run out of beans?” B.J questioned, followed by a goose like guffaw from Hawkeye. 

“They have appointed a new head of Thoracic surgery at Massachusetts General, and I wasn't even considered!” 

“Well you are rather indisposed right now, remember the war?” Hawkeye asked incredulously. 

“They should have waited for me! I am obviously the most qualified person for the job” Charles ranted on, pacing now. “See here he went to the University of Georgia, and then PRINCETON? HA” He was practically fuming now. 

B.J chuckled, he looked over to Hawkeye wondering why he wasn't laughing along. He was occupied sharing a look with Radar. 

“Hey Charles, what's this guy's name?” Hawkeye asked, sitting up.

Yes its exactly who you think it is. I'm hoping to have the first chapter up by the end of April.

[moonstalkerwerewolf]

Time for a Political Moon Rant

I'm going to get a bit political, so if you need to mind your mental health, or you're a Trumpet shill, you best not read but I will put this on Tumblr vs. my personal Facebook where I know waaaay too many people who shilled for the Orange Mussolini. Of course, Trumpets should leave my page immediately.

When I was 22-23 years old, back in 2015-2016, I would tell people that the Orange Man is a threat to the U.S. Specifically, back then, he would destroy the Republican Party that, for some fucking reason, thinks this grifting piece of shit was worthy of holding the Oval Office when he's an arrogant businessman known for bankruptcy, known for treating workers like garbage, known for fraud, and extensive lying. I also said he'd make the U.S. the laughing stock of the entire world, and the country deserves far better than him. I argued this nine, ten years ago. This was when I was fresh coming out of deconstruction, and leaving a largely conservative bubble. I grew up sheltered and in that bubble and didn't really begin escaping and truly seeing the outside world where I could, in fact, freely exist in until my very early 20s. I purposely wanted to know more about the wide world and other ideologies, which was suppressed in the private schools I was enrolled in. Even at my worst and most indoctrinated, I felt something was wrong, so I refused to continue any higher education in private, Christian colleges. I wanted a wider perspective.

It changed me, it continues to change me, for the better. I found out a lot about myself after I could escape it. That is why I will freely criticize beliefs held onto by people near me in my environment, because yes, I know what it is like to be shackled in a movement that prevents critical thought. But I could always see the massive piles of bullshit like misogyny and fascism even as a trapped teenager who didn't know differently, because. It felt wrong, even if adults all around me told me otherwise. And I'm so goddamn glad I was aware enough to goddamn escape.

Yeah, my opinions changed based on new knowledge, new perspective, and key facts. But they haven't changed much from what they were in 2016, from being aware of what this disgrace does. In fact, the only reason they haven't changed much is because my opinions and beliefs about Trump and the Right have gotten way, way worse about these fuckers, because it's now been 9 years and one full term of Trump, a cult MAGA movement, a pandemic, etc. later.

The Republican Party, whatever was within it that had any sense of honor before if at all, is dead. It died with Reagan and got deeeeply pushed into the bowels of Hell by those after, but even they are just dead. All that remains is a MAGA cult where the MAGATs will outright destroy Republicans who do not agree with their methods. Democrats and anyone else not a MAGAT are just straight up considered Satanic, which is goddamn insane. When Mike Pence and Mitch McConnell go against the President because he's downright defying the Constitution and fueling life-threatening misinformation, you know it's bad.

23 year old me was never wrong. I wish I could tell her she was more than right. I am still supremely disappointed in how many people I know who just eat whatever the MAGA Cult run by two grifters take and trust it. You've got to be kidding me.

Do I want the government to be audited for corruption, etc? Of course. Yes, government agencies NEED to be held accountable on behalf of the people. I'm not arguing against THAT.

But I'm not going to trust a guy who got elected to avoid prison who already did great damage to the U.S. for four years nor will I trust a billionaire megalomaniac whose only interest is making himself even richer while he spouts Great Replacement neonazi conspiracy online and shills for an apartheid state. DOGE is not qualified, and they have no business doing what they do. Musk does not have the authority to do anything; hell, neither does Trump. The U.S. is NOT a place for kings. Our whole country's founding is because we can't stand kings. Congress is needed to authorize anything. Same with the Senate. The President can't just hand out money to his loyalists. You aren't supposed to be able to just buy your way out of the rule of law.

If you voted for TRump and are/were a Federal Employee and thought you'd get a buyout for retiring early, congratulations. You got played because you were too ignorant to see the writing on the damn wall and too foolish to not think about what it means. Same if you thought essential employees, you know...the people who do the actual work, would be kept vs. loyalist supervisors. All people did, if they voted Trump, was vote for an unemployment explosion and horror to come. If you're a civilian who voted for Trump who doesn't know who's getting fired from the Fed Govt, congratulations for drinking the kool-aid and showing everyone you don't know anything about how Federal Employment works. Same if you got healthcare, etc. via Feds and voted for Trump, then lost your health insurance, etc. because Medicaid, Medicare, and OPM were cut. Congratulations. This is your fault. Same for the CDC being unable to handle current outbreaks of outright preventable disease like Measles. As a former front-liner Fed employee who tried to fight corruption but also fight to actually serve the people I was supposed to, i.e. patients who got care via federal treatment facilities, etc., just NO. I also work for the private sector, trying to do the best I can to safeguard people's rights and health.

Same with all the people who think privatizing EVERYTHING and putting EVERYTHING under a few loyalist oligarchs means a better tomorrow. Nope that just cuts safety as well as drive up costs for everyone, as well as suppresses wages. Thanks for that. Thanks for depriving everyone under the age of 50 from having hope for a survivable future. You know, after cutting CDC, FDA, EPA, etc. you know, the agencies that track disease, drug/food threats, and environmental threats. Same with wanting to cut OSHA so people can just die on the job. Cutting FAA so planes just crash. Cutting national forests so land can just get destroyed by greedy big corporations.

I am not angry because I believed "lefties." All I had to do was watch the people around me and the world around me spiral into madness as people caught up in the MAGA cult welcomed Fascism and kings into the U.S. with explosive frenzy. You know, after many of our grandfathers and great-grandfathers fought a war where many millions of people died to stop the spread of Fascism in WWII. And welcome the crazy ass Evangelical MAGAT repubs who want to turn the U.S. into a toxic Protestant, Evangelical hellscape.

Yes, I am angry. Not because I like the Left, etc. As far as I'm considered, the Democratic Party is goddamn useless and complacent, only in it to be spineless waste who never actually take action to safeguard anyone. How else have key rights been rolled back? The reasonable Republicans died off in 2016. I'm angry because a lot of this shit affects everyone I know and love, along with myself, and millions of other people. Sorry but I'm not a psychopath who's okay with how millions suffer "just because it doesn't impact me." Even if it didn't impact me, I'd be disgusted, and well, it does impact me, so screw that.

I'm not gonna praise and "let live" or "agree to disagree" with people who actively want to take my civil rights away along with those of millions of people. I just want to live my life without these crazy ass MAGATs getting the power to tell millions of people they're not allowed to EXIST.

And no, people will not tell me to ignore the bullshit because "otherwise I'll never be happy" (looking at you, my dear mother) as if MAGAT and the Cult-47ers didn't just vote for people who want to see people like me, my friends, my family, colleagues, fellow citizens, entire communities outright erased.

Don't tell me "oh, it won't happen." That's what the Germans in 1930s Germany said, and look what happened there. I see it happen where I work, what rollbacks of safety laws does. I work in a highly-regulated sector. I see what cuts can and does do to at-risk populations of the sick, the poor, the disabled. I myself am affected even if I work. Years of experience have taught me otherwise, as well as my love for science and history.

Fascism is literally defined "Fascism (/ˈfæʃɪzəm/ FASH-iz-əm) is a far-right, authoritarian, and ultranationalist political ideology and movement,[1][2][3] characterized by a dictatorial leader, centralized autocracy, militarism, forcible suppression of opposition, belief in a natural social hierarchy, subordination of individual interests for the perceived good of the nation or race, and strong regimentation of society and the economy.[2][3] Opposed to anarchism, democracy, pluralism, egalitarianism, liberalism, socialism, and Marxism,[4][5] fascism is at the far right of the traditional left–right spectrum.[6][5][7]" It was first injected into Europe by Benito Mussolini and later by Adolf Hitler's regime. Fascist aspects influenced McCarthyism and other oppressive laws in the U.S., particularly as a response to 20th century Communism spread and just outright oppression of minorities.

It would be funny if approximately 75 million non-Trump voters and people who couldn't vote weren't dragged along the ride for this bullshit that 77.3 million people who inevitably fell into many cult-like techniques and ideologies didn't just subject the entire world to. I just want to goddamn survive along with millions of people in the U.S. alongside millions more in other countries.

Even towards people I love and respected, I don't respect at all for drinking the MAGA poison while celebrating with glee, and never will. I won't celebrate people who voted to sign my death warrant, or that of those of mullions, and never will. It's those folks' fault. They voted for this. And the rest will go "I told you so."

[mistype360]

Going back to that Fe/Fi question from last week, I want to give more info, bcs you threw me off the bridge with that one, as I thought I'm fi user, so now I have to wonder if I'm dom Fe and look out for Si or Ni which both I see none besides the stupid stereotypes of having memory or not being able to rest without a future plan. I'm someone who stops talking if they see that the other person isn't fully there and not listening to me, why would I, I want a conversation, and and my thoughts will be wasted to their 'mhm'. I don't care about their feelings but I think it's rude to not listen and be fully there is someone is talking to you. I'm someone who snaps and becomes cold and ironic when in a bad mood, someone who wants to speak up every time their coworkers are talking shit about gender issues but tries to bite their tongue bcs being comfortable in that social circle while being weird was already hard enough, and yet I still somehow find myself saying controversial stuff when the mood hits. I'm someone who performs carrying about things I don't feel much about, bcs how I feel and not feel is my own deal, and when I will feel something you will know, like I can't hide, you'll read it on my face. The shitty thing is I don't know whether I judge things based on how I want/ don't want things to be or whether I judge it based on how objective morality works, bcs I think I do my own thing, but then shit happens so fast I can't catch it in action, only after. I might think someone is stupid and brainwashed crying about something at work, but if they're on a brink of a panic attack, I will come and try to be someone they need right now to calm them down, bcs I know how scary it is to meet such a huge emotion alone. But I have no delusion that anything I'll say means anything bcs a) I'm trying to calm them down and might say questionable stuff, even if I'm trying real hard to not speculate and not say things I can't base reality on, b) we're strangers. I know this rant means nothing and is useless for typing, but Fe? Really? Social maneuvering for survival still Fe? Maybe you would reconsider? Joking, but kind of not. Thanks anyways for your answers.

i think by the way it was described last time it seemed still like fe. from how i interpreted it, the fe user tiptoes around people in conversation to avoid creating unnecessary conflict. they are more attuned and conscious of other people rather than towards themselves, even if they have their own beliefs - really it just comes with more ease to be able to put aside their values.

but with more info this description, i can agree, might be more fi. the way you respond to others' struggles is entirely dependent upon your own values, where a fe user would not change their reaction. if you say it happens in the spur of the moment, it can still qualify as fi, which usually still functions at a subconscious level. even how you say that you won't continue to express your opinions when you don't think the other person is as engaged is very very much, fi. for the social maneuvering part, take for example your values regarding gender issues, i think the fact that you have to bite back your tongue in the first place means that you are fi over fe.

[purplesurveys]

1710

Is there a person you talk to everyday with?:  Other than my immediate family, no. I don't even talk to Angela everyday.

Does one of your parents ever complain to you about the other parent?:  Only ever as a joke. Like for example my dad is bad at keeping up with errands, so my mom will comedically rant about why is he taking so long to do this, to book a slot for that appointment etc. They never badmouth each other.

If you have a webcam, do you take more pictures or make more videos with it?:  I just never take anything on it, period. I never use the webcam on my personal laptop anymore, and for my work laptop I only turn it on occasionally when it's asked for in a virtual meeting.

When was the last time you felt lonely?:  That's not really something I tend to feel these days. A lot of people tend to think loneliness can be fixed by getting into relationships, having a rock-solid social life, etc which definitely put pressure on me for a time; but I wish everyone gave more value to the fact that you can feel content with your own company, too. Of course it's harder than it sounds, but when I got to that point it was relieving to finally not feel pressured about having to be surrounded by people 24/7.

Who was the last person you wished a “Happy Birthday” to?:  A co-worker.

What was the last food/drink that dyed your tongue a different color?:  Those sour bubblegum balls that come with those dyeing effects.

Is there any upcoming festivals happening in the place you live?:  I live in a very quiet part of the city where zero culture things happen haha. We're complete as far as restaurants, cafés, and even niche places like record stores and Korean groceries; it's just that you never really go here if you're looking for EVENTS events, like festivals.

When was the last time you threw a party?:  It was hardly a party – it was a simple birthday get-together for my 25th birthday but yeah there's that.

Last person you kissed, are they into any type of sports? Which ones?:  Idk.

Does your best friend have a job?:  Both of them do. Angela's an intern because apparently in architecture you have to complete a certain number of years under an internship before being qualified to take the licensure exam. Andi has a part-time gig in the evening while balancing law school in the morning.

Do you ever visit people at work?:  Nah. I'm extremely busy at my own job where work-life balance is oftentimes a joke.

Is there any electronic device you need to charge right now?:  This laptop is gonna die in like five minutes so I'll need to deal with that in a bit.

Have you ever sat in your room in the dark?:  All the time; of course I do, my room is my safe space. Not doing this just feels wrong hahaha.

What is one thing you want to do before the school year ends?:  I haven't been in school in three years!

When you move out your house (or if you already have moved out) do you plan on still visiting your parents house?:  Of course. I probably wouldn't make it weekly, but I will definitely drop by.

Do you usually take home leftovers if you eat out in a restaurant?:  Yes. Leftovers are life here in the Philippines, whether you're at a birthday party (where the host WILL force you to take home food and even give their own Tupperwares to you hahaha), at a restaurant (because the money you earn is no joke - take that shit home if you don't finish your meal), at a work lunch, etc.

Just last night I requested for my tuna sashimi salad to be packed for takeout because I couldn't finish it anymore and I decided to give it to my mom as it's her favorite.

Have you ever ghost ride the whip (put your car on auto and dance next to it as it’s moving)? Do you want to?:  Ghost what the what????????

What is one thing you hope never changes about you?:  My love for animals.

Do most of the songs you listen to have curse words in it?:  Eh, not really. It's a good number but statistically I wouldn't say it stands out.

Is there someone you wanna date?  Nope.

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked?  Because I realized I was wasting time and I didn't want to spend my days starving myself anymore. And because I wanted to be mentally healthy enough to spend time with my dogs again.

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?  Heart broken, I think.

What are you listening to?  Ian and Anthony playing Amnesia.

Name a quote from the thing you are listening to?  Not exactly a quotable video but Anthony just said, "I want to see what I'm running from!" which made me LOL the first time I saw it.

What does your last text say?  No idea and c a n n o t be assed to check.

Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?  Nah.

Last missed call?  Gem from work.

Last person you talked on the phone with?  The driver we hired yesterday for an event.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up today?  Checked the time.

Do you have a best friend?  Yes.

Do you like vitamin water?  I've never tried it before. It's more of personal pettiness HAHAHA but to me water is water. It's supposed to be tasteless. Mixing something else into it but still calling it water is just weird to me.

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?  I hated Kaira before but my reason is valid – she used to bully me in kindergarten. She had a change of heart sometime in Grade 4 and we became civil from there; then in high school we ended up in the same friend group. Most recently she attended a public PR event we mounted and it was awesome to see her again after 7 or so years.

I also used to be annoyed with Jum in freshman year of college – something for which I now kick myself whenever I remember. She initially struck me as having a completely different sense of humor and I thought ugh I could never get along with her...until we ended up in the same applicant batch for the same org. That org eventually served as my home in college and I eventually found my own friend group there as well, in which Jum was part. I just saw her two weekends ago for a reunion with said group.

What do you think of people who have sex before marriage?  I think it's equally valid as the need to figure out your sexual compatibility with someone, but you have to find someone who's willing to be committed to something like that.

Do you get along with your parents?  Sure. We're not close or affectionate by any means but we're not constantly wanting to kill each other. My previously-toxic relationship with my mother has definitely set the bar low hahaha.

Are you more independent or dependent?  I hate answering questions like this with 'Both,' but I really think I am a mix. It's just that this question covers such a wide range of possible scenarios, and I don't always prefer to be one or the other.

Do you believe that what comes around goes around?  It's a comforting thought to have. It doesn't always happen, but when it does it helps validate the thought.

Who was the last person you were mad at?  I haven't been mad in a while. Irritated yes, and very often lol; but not mad, and especially not at a person.

What are your plans for tonight?  Same things as what I'm doing now - locked in my room, having videos in the background, having a cup of coffee consistently right next to me, and maybe playing a few hours of Rhythm Hive. I have a work event tomorrow (a Sunday) and even though it's a rare instance where I'm actually excited for it – it'll be a watch party for the Women's World Cup – so I just want to laze around on my one day off. Plus it's been raining nonstop the last two weeks so going out is out of the question to begin with.

Does anyone love you?  I do feel loved, yes.

Do you love anybody?  I love everyone in my circle, also yes.

Ever felt like you hit rock bottom?  I have. And I feel like I've already reached – and gotten past, woohoo – what would be The Rock Bottom of my entire life. I highly doubt an even lower low would happen.

What’s the one thing that’s getting you through the week?  Idk if there's anything. Next week seems pretty BAU actually so meh.

Do you miss anyone?  Nah.

Do you give out second chances too easily?  I don't.

What did you do yesterday?  Went all the way to the south for an all-day photoshoot for one of the campaigns I handle. Picked up my media guests at 6 AM, and was in the studio until 7 PM. My saving grace that whole day was the studio dog, Jacob, because otherwise I just wanted to have everything over with since I was also worried about the long trip back home.

Anyway, a kind co-agency partner offered to drive me, Bea, and Celeste back to QC, so we had a quick dinner at Maginhawa first (this was already, like 10 PM) before parting ways. I haven't been this happy in a while just to be back home hahaha.

Where is one place you want to visit?  Seoul.

What’s your favorite thing to have for breakfast?  Eggs Benedict, or chicken and waffles.

Ever felt that no one relates to you?  In some aspects, but the difference now as a 25 year old vs having this feeling as a teenager is that it doesn't bother me anymore.

Why did you break your last promise?  Because I did not have the time to squeeze the work in.

What do you think of long-term relationships?  I think it's great? Isn't that the point anyway?

Do you believe God always saves you from bad situations?  I or the kindness of other people save myself/me from bad situations. Nothing else.

What’s the worst curse word or saying that you know of?  I hate encountering the word 'faggot.'

Do you wish on 11:11?  If I catch it, yeah.

Are you pissed off about anything?  Not really.

[rametarin]

Laughing at a youtuber.

No, I will not link to them. More a personal rant and chuckle.

This black individual whose sex and gender I will not elaborate on, moaned about how women were/are all in on trans rights, until, and I quote,

“Women started feeling replaced by these trans women in sports.” And whimpering about how they’re, “still an LGBT supporter, still want to support, but, being real, women feel like transwomen are targeting their spaces to dominate them, and replacing them in female categories. Like sports, pageants and entertainment.”

You really going to go there. Transgendered people are less than 1% of the population. The entire god damned LGBT spectrum hovers around 5% the human population, across the world. There are places where it’s as high as 15-40%, but those places are big migratory hubs that are specifically LGBT strong points, and do not even remotely represent anything in any basic society.

And you, supposed LGBT supporter, fellow oppressed peoples supporter, marching in solidarity for equality and progress and diversity, mocker of, “those awful -phobic/racist conservatives,” want to whip out the flat sided buzz cuts and tiki torches and start going, “YOU WILL NOT REPLACE US” when the law starts treating transwomen’s rights and privileges as existing in the same category as and synonymous with a female sexed person, demanding that no distinction is allowed to be made between them or to qualify them differently. You were all for it, until it meant they got right of way and you had to adjust your speech and your spaces to prioritize their needs as a minority over yours as your sex.

Folks love, “being for social justice” when the platform treats them as an oppressed minority, but boy do they sure get awfully NIMBY the minute those same rules and that same community starts defining them as an obligate, inescapable oppressor based on their demography (race, ethnic group, language group, sex) in relation to another group, and all the “you’re not allowed to speak/you’re only allowed to agree with me or be wrong and then vilified for your dissent and obstruction of my justice,” that implies.

But some of you are realizing, when you follow this particular philosophy and community that believe in a certain way, you don’t get to go, “I believe this part is true, BUT I’m an oppressed minority, this other part of how this works shouldn’t apply to me and you shouldn’t get to just sandbag my opinion as if I’m the worst person in the world like this. Not like those horrible white men!”

Nope. Nope. That isn’t how it works. You’re now the middle child in this family with these arbitrary, family rules, not the Baby, whom gets away with being a mouthy, sassy brat and rewarded for laying it on the table at the bigger sibling, instead of punished for two weeks for speaking out of turn or place. You want to speak, now you have to torture your language and concede and submit to their norms, speak to them on their terms, never violate how they lay out their issues, or you’ll be sat in the same table Newt Gingrich sits on. The Big Oppressor to their pantheon of demons is white, able bodied, English speaking, cisgendered heterosexual, male sexed human beings. You rank beneath the ultimate boss of oppressor, but you rank over some other groups, and those ones get to talk to and treat you the way you think you’re entitled to talk down to white men as your natural oppressor. Those ones get to mouth off at you with righteous indignation as if you’re the effigy, embodying the force of their suffering demographically, same as you do your oppressor. Thems the rules of the game you’ve chosen to play. I don’t make them, I’m just unflatteringly spelling them out for you, unambiguously and without benefit of the doubt.

You follow the belief because it’s convenient, for instance, that arbitrary “privileges,” the definition for the concept that just existing as a demographic entitles you to certain social advantages and characteristics purely based on affiliation to said group, make an individual culpable for “that demographic”‘s historical abuses and exploitation of another group (or at least the responsibility for it leveid on the descendant that fits the description) then you follow the belief that also says you’re an oppressor just by not being in the oppressed demographic, therefore, you are their oppressor. You’ve been bamboozled and had your social and political gripes hijacked and appropriated to make YOU march for THEIR perspective and THEIR preferred resolution to your historical problems. Using their language, using their theories of society.

But the minute they expand on those beliefs some, and suddenly you become the oppressor you felt confident you were in the right for shouting down and smearing as the unequivical, indisputable capital E Enemy, you realize the No Holds Barred and absolutism of this way of approaching the social conversations may have some flaws to it or shouldn’t apply to you this way, just whites, and to some of you, just men.

You should’ve checked the fine print on the little red book when you started quoting it. And now you get to learn exactly where you stand and where they think people like you should go; Playing supporter and groupie for THEIR argument and war, where you show up and vote how you’re told, be counted in solidarity to their cause and fight their battles for them, or shut the fuck up and leave. But there’s no medium space. They own the legitimate one and you can’t have it.

So. Welcome to that spot beneath the bus, where they blame you for shit and hold you accountable for shit other people that look like you, may or may not have ACTUALLY said, or been interpreted to’ve said or meant that. You feel like you can’t say a word of dissent or opposition without being made an example of on the mainstream news or dogpiled by e-celebrity influencers on youtube and tiktok and twitch, all of them hoping to smile for the camera and go, “Pfft, this hater, right? :^)” for their own potential to reaffirm Bad People Bad and they’re a good person, and that their sycophants should also hate bad people. Because now you’re on the other side of that culture. This is the hell you helped make possible when you thought you were on the right side of history, and you were marching against evil itself.

The good news is that spot beneath the bus is very diverse and getting bigger every day as the puritanical dogmas of class struggle theory, critical X theory and other garbage becomes status quo. And miraculously, even more liberal than the absolutist garbage trying to run it out and replace it in mainstream hard left progressivism. Pull up a chair and get ready to think.

[smugraccoon137]

I have been watching some wlw movies recently because frankly I haven't caught up since like 2017. And like me and my person just watched a movie that I'm still reeling about it

It's a period piece centered around colonial America. And it's basically just about two married women who feel drawn together in friendship and eventually love.

Sighs. It is really so much more than that. And profound is probably the best word to describe it. I have hardly seen a movie like this where the chemistry and desire is so palpable it sucks the air right out of your lungs. Just watch the trailer that's all I ask

(I'm so sorry if there are no subtitles because I couldn't hear it at all when I watched the trailer. But the visuals were enough to spark my interest)

So I'mma talk some spoilers for a second, just because I don't want to send anyone into a situation that harms them.

Child loss: mc and her husband are unfortunately dealing with the loss of their child. They don't show her dieing but the grief is hard

Fire: ngl pretty brutal scene where a tirtiary character dies in a fire. They don't show anything other than the house but your imagination is enough

Unhappy marriage: a little par for the course in a story like this. But one of the guys is pretty cool, but the other guy is like a sociopath

Not a happy ending: so let's unpack this one for a sec. This movie doesn't have what qualifies as a "happy ending". No one rides Into the sun together on a horse. This is a story and it's an honest one. It's about a love that twists your insides like a knife until something gives. It's about a marriage, a friendship lost to grief and struggle. It's about how the world doesn't give a damn and real life is much more ordinary and painful than anyone ever imagines. It's about losing and losing again and hoping again despite it all. It's about a woman writing a ledger for her and her husband's farm. To keep every chore, every purchase, every profit in a line so that they can understand what they're doing so wrong. And the in between the lines of her ledger where she writes her diary. A whirlwind of scripture about the enamoring woman who just moved next door. And how they met. And how they got close. And how they fell so unrevicably in love that not even death could stand in that way. This movie is good. And it's worth your time. And even though it's not "happy" by most standards I think that the ending is fitting and we'll loved just like the characters

Character death: if you didn't want to read my ramble that's fine. One of the girls dies and that's sad, but you won't understand anything else besides a vague sense of sadness if you don't watch it and decide for yourself if this was worth it to you.

Thanks for reading my rant. The movies on Hulu.