#and quizzes so thats good but i just dont have the energy for anything like im totally behind in math class!!!! like multiple assignments!!
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spacespore · 1 month ago
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im so over it with high school and especially with math class !!!!!
#im really worried that im going to start college and im gonna hate it just as much#i qualify for a free tuition program and I plan to attend college in my city while living with my mother#which is totally the most affordable option! and yet the most boring!!!!#everyone says that the college i plan to attend is just like a larger version of the highschool i already go to. ew!!!!#when i was finished with junior high i thought maybe in highschool... maybe there wont be puddles of piss outside the bathroom all over the#hallway.... well i was totally mistaken#i dont want to get too hopeful about college for this reason lol. and also. what if its just like highschool?? thatd kill me.#well im only a junior in highschool right now so i still have to deal with this for 2 more years blegh!! totally blegh..#i cannot keep up with school right now its totally freaking me out ive been pulling multiple all nighters a week and im still not able to#finish all my work and im just freaked out but im trying to be calm about it at least in front of other people#like i stay up all night to finish my work and then im too tired at school to do anything.. like ive been scoring good enough on my tests#and quizzes so thats good but i just dont have the energy for anything like im totally behind in math class!!!! like multiple assignments!!#sometimes i take a nap after school but i think most days im up till around 4am regardless of if i took a nap and sometimes i just stay up#until i have to go to school and then i try really hard to do my classwork but actually im so tired and i have to drink multiple coffees so#i can still sort of function like a person who got more than an hour of sleep... you know#well thank you for coming to my rant#gordbye#actually i hope nobody reads this
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freshvanillapng · 4 months ago
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I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.
The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).
Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.
Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier, and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .
OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only
Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?
Pets: I'd love to know all about them
Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?
Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?
*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.
omg this is such a good idea, thank you so much! i agree, i remember asks being HUGE on this site years ago but they definitely seem to have dropped away a little bit :( this is an incredibly kind thing to do <3
self: ask away, anything im not comfortable i will just say i guess? (so sorry thats SO vague) work: absolutely but be warned that if you ask about my degrees i will ramble at you fandoms: we have so much in common, ABSOLOUTELY. the only one of this list i no longer engage with is sherlock. ones i am actively engaging with are the hobbit, lord of the rings, tolkien (ships - bagginshield, samfrodo, gigolas, and most popular ones), dragon age (ships - i engage with most here aside from anders/hawke and solas/lavellan. i dont hate them but i dont engage with them out of personal preference. my canon playthroughs are surana/alistair fenris/hawke, lavellan/cullen so i tend to rb more of these). i do the EXACT same with the other fandoms you listed off the top of your head lmao.
only other thing here is that i post A LOT about my dnd campaigns.
ocs, art/drawing, writing: ask me about my dnd characters and i will cry tears of joy. asks about all of these are beautiful
story snippets ideas and prompts: i wouldnt class myself as a writing blog but i do try my hand in it from time to time so these are more than welcome!
pets: yes please! i have a tortoise whom i love dearly
garden and hobbies: yes please!
like being tagged in things: go ahead! any cool art or writings. also quizzes are fun hehe.
this is such a lovely system and thank you for sending! of course i might reply with an ask of my own~
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vrnicky · 3 years ago
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Ok then...here we go! (I copied the suff from my matchup from ratsoh, I hope thats ok! didn't have the energy to write this all out lol)
Your basic personality traits: ex: laid back, bubbly, playful, organized, stable…
I'm a bit high strung, bubbly, and I like to joke around a lot. My sense of humor is literally everywhere- dark humor, memes, chaotic shenanigans, you name it I'll probably laugh at it, though I'm most prone to making really really dark jokes out of no where. I am prone to being pessimistic and though I love the idea of being organized and productive, I always end up displaying an alarming lack of discipline. I admit I'm not that stable.. I'm a little reckless. I'm passionate about the things I care about. I use pet names with everyone. Friends. Family. If I know you I'm calling you hon or dear or love or darling, deal with it.
Some of your strengths:
I'm easygoing and forgiving, and I believe that anyone can be their best if they try. I'm very perseverant- once I set my mind to something, I'll stick to it and work hard and consistently. I do my best to be kind and understanding, and I have a lot of patience emotionally.
Some of your weaknesses:
I am a little bit cowardly and can let my fear paralyze me at times. I run my mouth without thinking sometimes so I can say things I don't mean. I overthink a lot and can get really anxious if things aren't clear, and I'm not very good at understanding social signals. Clarity is key- though I'm always up for teasing. I'm a little secretive and prone to hiding away from things that bother me, so I just need a little bit of pressure sometimes.
Likes and dislikes/hobbies:
I love making art, writing fiction and poetry, and learning/researching the sciences. I embroider ocassionaly. I practice tae kwon do. Medical, biological, astronomy, engineering... I love understanding the world. I read A LOT. If I had the money I'd turn my home into a library.
Any deal breakers in a relationship?
I don't mind secrets, as long as communication is clear. If you tell me your not ready, I won't push, but if you refuse to speak at all and provide no reasoning, I'll work myself up and get really really anxious. I also don't like people who are unnecessarily cruel, selfish, or harsh- the world is mean enough, why add to it? I need a lot physical affection too, I'm a hugger but only with people I know.
Physical description:
I have mid length black hair, brown eyes, olive skin, average build and am 5'1. If you didn't catch it, my soul trait (after like 100 undertale quizzes) is perseverance.
-wisteria
I dont mind you copied this tbh! I changed some stuff with the final boy because of the new things i know about you! But its finally here, your matchup!!
I match you with... Allen! (Storyshift Sans)
Okay, to put you in context right now, Allen is that dad friend basically, he's all soft and patience around everyone. He's an Asgore after all.
Even tho it would be a small chance when you enter his flower shop, he's friends with almost everyone so you could have meet him through them too! He is a sweetheart, dont worry!
He loves how bubbly you can get, literally, he wants to pinch your cheeks lol. Just be patience with him when he doesn't get a meme, he's an old man...
You would end up using a lot of pet names, he calls you cute human and when you started using dear or that, he changed it to sunshine, if you ever got together he will call you cutiepie or sweetheart, no take backs.
He's in love with how perseverant you can be! Even tho he lose some of it when he got to the surface, he is really good motivating you! Either with cute cheek kisses, cookies, tea, anything he can do, he will do it to be a little helpful!
Please, talk to him about what you dont like or when you want him to stop, he doesn't know everything and he has his own stuff going too and if you dont want to listen, he will start to close a lot :(...
Your dates would be either a picnic outside or in his garden, he enjoys the calm places so either outside or inside but just if its calm enough, you can bloom some flowers if you like it too! He loves it, no matter how many times you do it, he's looking at you all lovey dovey.
So... many... cuddles...
He's also a hugger, he cant help it, getting out of bed living with him is hard, only if its his day off tho. Thats when you have to beg him to let you go lol.
Thank you and hope you enjoy who you got!! <3
And if you were curious, the other close option was Garo! The follow one was Carrot!!
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probably-haven · 3 years ago
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what if- instead of spamming random shit on this blog that has nothing to do with anything at random points through the day like i do currently- i just- kept it in a draft- so I could only send one unrelated post a day- for instance:
i took one of them ‘which 5 star characters are you?” quizzes, but it was pretty obvious which character was which(I ended up with jean but thats not the point) The point is: One of the questions was “which best describes your personailty” and it was like two different descriptive words. BUT ONE OF THEM- hjdfkgfs “Prideful/penniless” LIKE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE WASN’T ENOUGH, ZHONGLI OUT HERE MAKING BROKE HIS ENTIRE PERSONALITY I WAS WHEEZING- LITERALLY- LIKE NORMALLY WHEN I SAY THAT I JUST MEAN “Yeah it was really funny and made laugh internally and i kinda smiled and maybe ‘exhaled’ more forcefully than average’ BUT NO I LITERALLY FUQQING WHEEZED- WHY??? LIKE- NO OBJECTIONS BUT WHY??? - wtf how did my comfort song go from treehouse to breezeblocks- spotify you removed a perfectly good song - 2 things that suck: siblings and math- i thought finishing calc would be the end of it- but no, i have to tutor them apparently- its consuming all my time bc they just-- cant- math??? an explanation once more for the lack of well thought out posts recently - being aro is so trippy because basic human kindness makes you question your entire identity - on second thought, breezeblocks probably became a comfort song because of that one Kaeya cosplayer on Tiktok... if you know which one I’m referring to, don’t @ me, i said nothing and i dont know what you’re talking about - wtf is a Xiao, everyone calls him a catboy which yeah, but he’s literally a bird??? does he have like- note to self: brainstorm Xiao with bird traits - sometimes i wish i could reblog more stuff, but i dont want to spam yall who follow me-  - okay but why do i feel like Kaeya is the kind of person to just.... like... vent and poor his heart out to some random treasure hoarder he caught. like just- Kaeya: so i told him everything and he attacked me [le sniff] and that was how it happened Tied up treasure hoarder: oh dang, that’s rough man I’m so sorry Kaeya: yeah.... anyway, i have to kill you now - what is a Zhongli- I- do Zhongli kinnies exist? because I tried analyzing him earlier and i just- cant get in his headspace at all- Like my head sees a composed uppity character- and they could be the most complex shit but my dumbass brain will just go “lmao bitch got no personality” which no??? he has personality- it’s just- subtle- but try as I might my ND brain just- can’t pick up on the subtleties- like at all- - you know i wonder if everything is feels/sounds/looks muted or muffled to Venti- because his story mentions that because he made his form with anemo energy is why his alcohol tolerance is the way it is- so like- is everything just duller to him? or at least duller compared to how it would be in sprite form- - WAIT PARTIALLY BLIND VENTI IS A VIBE THO- like his hearing could be justified as normal if its greater in sprite form cuz wind- but the idea of - why does it fit??? like Toph’s tremorsense or whatever it’s called but with air---- - “mi muhe ye” means *le squint* wait did i read that right???  but really if their archon was partially blind it would give Mond a real good almost undeniable reason to create braille in Teyvat and i just think that’s lovely.  -  imma have to make headcanons for that eventually - but yeah, spam is entertaining - peace!
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daysswithyou · 6 years ago
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V. Sungjin - Bet
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Characters: Sungjin x You
Genre: enemies to lovers!6
Warning: some cursing and swearing
Credits: @7abshy and @parkjaeins; for helping me figure out how annoying teachers can be
Words: 5k
Description: There is always more than meets the eye
Author’s note: This wraps up the enemies to lovers!6 series :) I hope you’ve enjoyed all 5 of them! 
-----
I’m late, I’m late, I’m late, shit!
You repeatedly mouthed the words to yourself under your breath as you squeezed past the throng of people crowding the hallways, occasionally throwing an apology across your shoulder if you bumped into someone. Opting to not take the front entrance into the lecture hall, you ran up flights of stairs to reach the back entrance. By the time you reached the top, you were gasping for breath, your thighs were burning and you could feel the first beads of sweat roll down your back. Slipping through the crack of the heavy wooden door, you settled into the closest empty seat, trying to steady your breathing as your pants became too loud within the enclosed space.
Deep breaths Y/N, deep breaths...
You internally heaved a sigh of relief when you saw the empty podium in front, glad that your professor for this class will not have a bad impression of you.
But your relief was short-lived as the booming voice right next to you soon commanded for attention.
“Alright let’s get started, now that the last student is here.”
As he walks down the flight of stairs to reach the podium, it gives you enough time to observe the authoritative figure. His black leather jacket and ripped black jeans made him look exceptionally tough, and you swore you saw some male students flinch when he walked past them. His hair, which was the colour of warm chocolate, was too long and brushed against his eyelids.
He looks like a model that has just stepped out of a Harley Davidson advertisement.
But you mentally berated yourself for the inappropriate thought, and proceeded to haul it out of the window.
When he stepped onto the podium, he surveyed the whole room before starting again.
 “Good morning. My name is Park Sungjin and I’ll be your TA for this semester and for this class.”
 Ah, so this was the legendary Park Sungjin that you had heard so much about during your first semester. He was famous for being the top student of the graduating batch, with an impeccable portfolio to match. Apparently, he’s so good to the point that many companies and graduate schools have offered him a place amongst them. But, he is also notorious for being a tough TA and everyone’s advice was to just stay away from his bad side if you ever had the fortune (or misfortune) of being in his classes.
All you wanted was to pass this class peacefully so you made it your goal to not cross the line.
However, when he opens his mouth to give the next set of instructions, you knew that you were already on the wrong side of the line.
“So now, if you’re ready Ms Y/N, I’ll begin with the introduction on the topic.” Giving you one last hard glance, he turned to face the screen. Everyone else was furiously copying down notes, but not you.
He said my name, he knows who I am. I’ve been singled out.
It felt like someone had just passed you the death sentence.
-
A week passed by uneventfully and you tried your best to not attract attention to yourself in class. You were on time, and you were attentive in class. You never gave Sungjin trouble – or Mr Park, as you know him by now. Yet, such tactics did not work on him. You knew that you had his full attention when he stares at you from the front as he is giving lectures, even if you’re sitting in a last row. He’ll always linger a little longer behind you as write answers to the mini quizzes in class. You made the mistake of looking up at him once, and you nearly combusted under his hard gaze. What’s worse is that you can’t decide if he approves or disapproves of your work. Perhaps that was the most agonising part.
Today was no different. After handing up your papers for the quiz to the front, you attempted to slip away with the crowd but you just couldn’t slip past Park Sungjin’s attention.
“Y/N, could I have a word with you?”
You halted in your steps, his monotone voice sending chills down your spine.
Why me…
Squeezing your eyes shut and taking in a shaky breath, you turned around to face him before walking in his direction. Your steps were a little too hesitant and you were obviously clutching onto your bag too tightly because this was the first thing that Sungjin said when you finally stood in front of him.
“You can loosen your grip on your bag strap, your knuckles are turning white.”
“O-o-oh. It’s a habit, sorry.”
“What time do your lessons end today, Y/N?”
“6pm. My last lesson is Introduction to Psychology.”
“Good. Meet me at Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences block, 6.30pm sharp.”
“Yes. Anything else…?”
“That’s all. You may go now.”
Giving Sungjin a curt bow, you scurried out of the lecture hall as fast as you could, dreading the time when you had to see him again.
 6.30pm came too early for your liking, and you soon found yourself face to face with Sungjin once more. A thick stack of papers were sitting by the corner of the table beside him and you knew immediately.
“I’m here to grade papers?”
“More or less; I’ll be giving the final grade and you can help me critique.”
You simply nodded before assuming the seat in front of him.
The next time you looked up, your neck popped up with a loud crack and the clock read 12am. Sungjin kept you thoroughly occupied for the past few hours, papers being presented to you in a systematic manner. You’ve said more words to him a few hours than you’ve said to all your professors combined last semester. While disguised as ‘extra exposure’ for you, deep down you knew that this was Sungjin’s special torture method – and you finally understood what others meant by getting on his bad side.
But the torture didn’t end there.
“Y/N, don’t forget that we have an assignment due the next day. Oh, and don’t be late. See you tomorrow.”
Everything sounds really innocent but you knew what Sungjin really meant was “Don’t mess up tomorrow Y/N.”
You wanted to let out a sigh of frustration but instead you swallowed it and merely replied with a spritely “Yes” before leaving the office.
 -
And this went on for months. Every single time Sungjin gave your class a quiz, you would find yourself in the conference room with him grading papers; sometimes at the expense of your own work. It gradually extended to grading papers from his other classes, but never once did you complain. You knew better than to argue with teachers, much less Sungjin. Every time he looks at you, your words die in your throat; how on earth were you supposed to hold an argument with him? But, of course, when you were back in the comfort of your dorm, which was when you were cursing and swearing at him. At one point in time, your roommate almost called an exorcist, thoroughly freaked out by the way you were flaying your limbs in the air as you continued screaming in frustration.
Needless to say, the late nights left with less sleep, and little energy to pay attention. You were up till 4am last night (or should you say morning), rushing out assignments due today for 2 different classes. You had burst into Sungjin’s lecture hall a good 20 minutes late but in your state, you didn’t care anymore. As usual, you settled into the closest seat you could find, one hand combing through the tangles in your hair, the other rummaging through your bag for your lesson materials. But you were so thoroughly exhausted that you fell asleep 10 minutes later, you pen stopping midway across your paper.
The next time you regain consciousness was when Sungjin’s voice calling your name rang through the speakers.
“So, Ms Y/N, what do you think of the question I just raised?”
You awoke with a start and you scattered your stationary across the floor in the process. You could hear the whole hall snickering at your blunder; save for the few kids sitting around you that helped you pick up your stray pens.
What was the question even? That was the most urgent question for you to answer. You shot a hard look at Sungjin, one that said, “How dare you call me when I’m in this state because of YOU.”
You were sure that he understood your gaze, but he merely raised an eyebrow, as he always did. It was the one that you recognised as “Go on, I’m waiting for your answer.” You knew that there was no way out of this except to answer his question. Panicking, you stared at the last word you wrote in your notebook before rattling off.
“The most famous poem from the Old English period, widely recognised by most is Beowulf. And for – ”
“Oh Ms Y/N, I didn’t know that Scandinavians spoke Old English in the late 10th century. Clearly, someone needs to keep her eyes and ears open. Also, I asked for your opinion, not of those from the 10th century.”
From beneath his long locks, Sungjin gave you a mischievous glint and smirked at you as the entire hall erupted into raucous laughter. Everyone was laughing, except you. Everyone found this funny, except you. Everyone was in a good mood, but you were livid.
How.fucking.dare.you.Park.fucking.Sungjin. I’m suffering in class now because of all your stupid “extra exposure” work after school. Yet you purposely picked on me to answer your question, knowing full well that I can’t. Why do you like picking on me so much? Why do you like embarrassing me in class so much? WHY PARK SUNGJIN!!!
You might have felt better if you actually said it out loud, but you didn’t. You just kept repeating this thought to yourself like a mantra until the end of the lesson.
It’s ok Y/N, just another 30mins of sitting in this hall and looking at his face. Afterwards you can leave and get yourself some ice cream to make yourself feel better. Yes, that’s right… everything is going to be ok Y/N...
But that day, things were not ok and you left the hall in a foul mood. For the final project of the year, you were paired up with Song Jihyo, the girl in class that was notorious for not doing her work.
Its official, Park Sungjin hates me and wants me to burn in Hell. That day, your whole body ached at the thought of more late nights and instead of eating your ice cream, you remembered hurling it at an innocent, nearby tree.
-
Everything that you thought would happen did happen. It’s as the saying goes, “Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.” And in this case, you were helpless against its happening. The only time that you talked to Jihyo was deciding on the thesis and after that, she was virtually uncontactable. You eventually gave up trying to arrange a time to meet to do up the thesis; you merely assigned her parts – which, to be fair, she did do. But they were of such poor quality you ended up deleting most of it and redoing it yourself. But no matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed fresh and you decided to bite the bullet and ask for help.
Lucky for you, Mr Kim was in class today and you immediately ran to him for help.
“Good morning Mr Kim. I have some questions about the final project thesis, is it alright if I ask a few questions?”
“Ah Y/N aren’t you? I’ve heard so much about you from Sungjin! I’ll be glad to help, let me take a look.”
Eagerly, you showed him what you had done so far and when he smiled, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, silently happy that you had gained his approval. But soon, the smile was wiped off your face.
“First of all, an excellent thesis choice, I must say. I remember Sungjin doing something similar for my class 3 years ago, why don’t you ask him for help? He is in a better position to help than I am.”
“Yes sir, I’ll ask Sung- I mean, Mr Park. Yes, I’ll ask Mr Park for advice. Thank you.”
With a light pat on your shoulder, he left you alone and when you turned, you found Park Sungjin standing right in front of you.
“I heard you need help?”
“Yes...” You hated it; you hated having to admit that you needed help from Park Sungjin.
“Hand it over.”
Reluctantly, you passed him your phone and turned to the side, not wanting to see his face further.
When he finally passed back the phone to you, you didn’t feel any more enlightened.
“You can do better than this.”
“What do you mean? That isn’t helpful!”
“That’s all I have to say. You know what to do, so do it.”
“I don’t! I don’t know what to do, which is why I’m asking for help!”
“Then sit down and figure it out.”
So that’s how it’s going to be – you won’t give me a consultation when I need it the most. Fine.
But that was not what you said. You said this instead, “Ok, I’ll figure it out.”
From then onwards, without help from anyone, you trudged through the group thesis yourself. This was on top of the individual thesis that each of you had to prepare for. You were literally typing so much (or rather, punching) your keyboard so hard that one of the keys fell out and you had to send your laptop for repairs. Not only was school draining your sanity, it was also draining your money. Due to the delay in repairing your laptop, you were left with a week to finish half of your thesis.
The outcome: later nights and heavier eye bags. By now, you were too tired to curse and swear at Sungjin for the terrible grouping since it was already taking insane willpower from you to even show up in class. You merely bottled up your indignation, and kept working to avoid thinking about it. After placing the stack of papers in Sungjin’s letter tray, you went back to your dorm and crashed for 12 hours straight.
This signalled the start of your 1 week break, and one week of not seeing Park Sungjin.
Thank goodness.
-
The next time you saw Park Sungjin, you were glad that it was the last time that you would have to see him. After all the torture he had put you through for the past semester, you were glad that you’ll be done with him now.
Yet, as always, Park Sungjin manages to make your life a living hell till the end.
Group Thesis: C
Individual Thesis: E
Overall: D
Comments for Individual Thesis: Clear presentation of key ideas and mostly factually correct. Choice of thesis could be better.
Signed: Park Sungjin
Choice of thesis could be better. Park Sungjin failed me, just because he didn’t like my topic.
You were brought out from your shock by a large shove from behind. Whipping around, you found a smiley Jihyo in front of you and her next words made you want to punch her in her perfect little teeth.
“Thank you for helping me pass the class Y/N! How much did you get?”
Without your consent, she ripped your papers from your hands before handing them back to you with a frown.
“That’s odd; we had the same choice of individual thesis, why did you do worse?” But Jihyo had no time to contemplate on the answer to her question when she was dragged away by her friends to celebrate their good grades.
I can tolerate everything that Park Sungjin has put me through, but not this.
Running up to Sungjin, you stopped him from leaving before asking to see him.
“Do you have time now?”
“Yes. What is this about?”
“This is about my thesis, can we talk somewhere else?”
“Conference Room 2 of the Social Sciences building in 10 minutes, I need to talk to Mr Kim first.”
“Ok.”
You were going to clear this once and for all.
-
“So, what is it about your thesis, Y/N?”
“You failed me just because you didn’t like my topic, didn’t you?”
You’ve rehearsed this part many times in your head and this wasn’t how it was supposed to sound like. It was supposed to sound polite and less accusatory, but fuck that. You wanted answers, and if you had to demand it from him, you will.
“Yes, I did. What’s the issue with it?”
“It’s not fair.”
“Nothing is fair in this world Y/N; I thought you’d know that by now.”
“Yes, I do know that. But what you’re doing is not only unfair, but also downright discriminatory.”
“How so?”
“Jihyo told me that we both had the same choice of thesis, and I got and E and she got a B. My grades are clearly a personal attack against my character. You never liked me from the start, I get it. But it’s wrong to simply disregard my entire thesis because you didn’t like the topic! What is wrong with this topic? It’s within the list of topics that you’ve given us, I met the word count, I met deadlines. I did everything!”
“And I’m supposed to give you a A for that?”
"I’m not saying you have to give me an A for it. I'm just trying to prove the fact that – " "A fact is already a fact, you don't have to prove it." "God damn it Sungjin! Would you just lay off me for a second? Would it kill for you to not correct my grammar for once? Would it kill you to not pick on me for one second?" "It's Mr Park, for you. It still is. And no, I won't lay off your grammar – you are an English language major that has taken my class, there is no way that I'm allowing you to continue to speak with bad grammar." "I hate you." "That can technically count as swearing at a teacher. Are you testing my patience?" "No. I'm just saying that it's not fair for you to give me a bad grade just because you did not like my choice of thesis. That's just being biased." "I'm not changing your grade." "I can't fail this module Sungjin! I need to pass this module to go for the Advanced English module. Yes, it's not a perfect thesis but I don't deserve to fail for this!" "Welcome to the real world Y/N." "I hate you Sungjin. I really fucking do." You pick up your bag and slam the door on your way out. That night, for the first time, you cried. And you hated the fact that you were crying over stupid Park Sungjin.
-
The next day, you awoke with puffy eyes but nonetheless, you showed up for lessons. You nearly bumped into Sungjin on your way to Psychology but you immediately detoured. You couldn’t get close to him – you might just punch him and be charged for assaulting a teacher.
That evening, you had just ended lessons when your phone buzzed and Sungjin’s name lit up on your screen.
Mr Park: You have another chance to redo your thesis and not fail the class. Deadline is January 20th, 2 weeks from now. Papers in my tray at 6pm sharp; don’t be late for the submission.
You swiped his notification away quickly, but you remembered the words and that night, you began sourcing for more ideas for your individual thesis.
For the next 3 days, Sungjin just wouldn’t leave you alone. Your phone buzzed with his name every now and then, and he was so distracting that you nearly wanted to block his number.
Mr Park: Are you going to resubmit your thesis?
Mr Park: Have you chosen a thesis yet?
Mr Park: What is your choice of thesis? How many words in?
Mr Park: Do you need help? Just drop me a message; I can help you check your thesis.
Help me with my thesis? Is he playing saint now? As if I’m going to accept help from him.
As you turned your attention back to your screen, you found that a shadow has fallen in front of your laptop. You found yourself staring at a pair of familiar, battered, black Converse and looking up only confirmed your suspicions. The man was here in person – Park Sungjin.
“Why aren’t you replying my messages?”
Why must I hold myself accountable to you? Buzz off.
You continued typing, completely ignoring Sungjin. You heard him sigh before inviting himself to sit in front of you.
“Y/N, what is your thesis? Hey, answer me. I came all the way down here to find you.”
“You came here voluntarily, I didn’t ask for your help. You can leave.”
“You’re still angry at me?”
Of course I am, you asshole. You’re just asking the obvious.
With each thought, you punched the keys on your keyboard harder.
“Stop typing so hard, you’ll spoil your keyboard. Working in spite is not going to produce quality work Y/N.”
Without your consent, he lifted your laptop into the air and onto his lap and scrolled through your entire document for 15 minutes. Passing it back to you with a smile, you stared at him in shock for 5 minutes.
Park Sungjin never smiles; did he just smile at me?
“You did it.”
“What did I do?”
“You figured it out. This was the choice of thesis I wanted you to choose in the very first place. Furthermore, you’ve chosen the correct area to focus on.”
“Thank you… I thought…”
“What did you think about?”
“I thought I might not be on the right track. But your words makes me feel a little more reassured now.”
“Well, I’ll leave you alone now.”
Park Sungjin then took his leave, but he was lying when he said he’ll leave you alone. He never did. Till the submission deadline, he visited you every alternate day.
As expected, you got an A for your individual thesis.
-
When you got an email from Mr Kim saying that he wanted to meet you, you thought you were doomed; most likely a disciplinary case on your head after what you said to Sungjin. But turns out, it was an interview for the Advanced English course, and they passed you immediately. When you walked out of the room still stunned that that you had entered the course of your choice, you found Sungjin waiting outside for you, almost like he knew you were going to be there.
“They passed you didn’t they?”
“Huh?”
Hearing his voice reminded you of what Mr.Kim said to you just now:
“We’ve received high commendations of you, Ms Y/N. All the professors pushed for your recommendation into the course, and Sungjin, especially. He was the first one to mention offering you a place in the course. He spoke of your remarkable working attitude.”
“May I ask something?”
“Yes, anything at all.”
“What exactly did Mr Park say about me?”
“He mentioned that you work well even under immense stress and long hours, catching up really fast even if you fell behind. But, most importantly, he spoke of your willingness to try again after failure. That is the most important quality that we are looking out for: tenacity. We have no doubt that you’ll be a suitable candidate to enter this demanding course. We would love to offer you a place, should you choose to accept.”
“I would love to, thank you. Thank you to the faculty and professors for having me.”
Sungjin hates me, why would be recommend me for the course?
“Follow me.”
Taking him by the wrist, you dragged Sungjin all the way to the bridge in the school park before letting him go.
“What’s with the rush, Y/N?”
Hands on your hips, you turned to face Sungjin with wide eyes, your lips set firmly in a thin line.
“I don’t understand you Sungjin. First, you torture me in lessons by making me so many extra work and now you’re putting in good words for me and recommending me for my dream course? Did you suddenly decide that you like me more now overnight?”
“Ah, so they told you everything I said. Mr Kim promised to not tell, I should have known he wouldn’t keep to it.”
“You’re still not answering my questions.”
“I’m getting there. First of all, that extra work was not torture, they were a test. I loaded you with many things to see how much you can handle before you snapped but thankfully and luckily for me, you never did.”
“I did silently curse and swear at you.”
“That is a given. But you didn’t say it out loud, so it doesn’t count. You’ve proven to – ”
“To be able to work well under immense pressure and long hours.”
“Yes. That is an important quality for taking any Advanced courses. I took the same course with the same professors that you’ll be having so I know how intense it was. I had to put you under pressure to see if my bet was correct.”
“I was your bet?”
“Yes, I was betting on you all along. You have great potential.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh? I thought someone hated me before.”
“Like you said, that was before. I don’t anymore. What you put me through was tough, but they did teach me more about myself and my limits. So, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now that I’ve managed to help you get a place in your course, I think it’s time to return the favour?”
“What’s your proposal?”
“Come to my graduation ceremony next spring. It’s in April.”
“Ok. That’s all?”
“That’s all for now.”
But when a soft smile lights up Sungjin’s face, you knew there was more in store for the both of you in time to come.
-
April 20th
You had come early to get front row seats and as you watch Sungjin give a speech representing the graduating batch, your heart swells with pride. You’ve seen him work very hard for the past one semester and to see him being handed his graduation certificate made you feel like all his efforts paid off.
You were the last to greet Sungjin because there was simply too many people crowding around him. You watch from afar and you giggle when you see Sungjin frantically asking Kang Younghyun if he’s seen you around. He does this thing where his eyes grow big like saucers, so big that you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. You could also hear the fear in his voice – he speaks a little faster and slips into the Busan dialect. So when you greet him by gently tapping him on the shoulder, he whips around so fast the wind nearly knocked you over. But when you see his facial expression melt from one of worry into one of happiness, you nearly melt into a puddle there and then. You’d given anything to see those sparkly eyes and sweet smile.
“Ah finally you’re here Y/N! I saw you in the front row just now but then afterwards I didn’t so I was worried that you left but I haven’t got a photo with you yet. I was so sad  because I haven’t asked you my question yet – ”
“Calm down Sungjin! I’m here now right? Also, happy graduation! I got this for you.”
Proudly, you hold up the bear plushie you had custom made for him, decked out in the exact same graduation gown that he had on right now.
“It looks like you, right? I named him Bang!”
“Why Bang?”
“Because you always say goodbye in a very cute manner and Bang seems like a cute name to capture that cuteness. Also, I gave him eyelashes! When you observe the details, he really looks like you right?”
When Sungjin finally notices the eyelashes, he bursts out laughing and you swore your heart nearly stopped. When he finally stopped laughing and took over the bear from you, he finally remembered the question he wanted to ask you.
“Y/N- ah…”
“Yes?”
“If I ask you out…will you say yes?”
Just to tease him a little, you decided to look up at the sky, and contemplate your answer for a little while.
“I don’t know…maybe?”
“You can’t do this to me! I waited so long to ask you this question!”
“Why did you wait so long then?”
“I had to wait till I graduated. It wouldn’t be right for a teacher to ask his student out right?”
“That’s true…but I still don’t know if I’d go out with you. How about we make a bet?”
“With what?”
“With a coin. You flip a coin and I’ll decide. Which side are you confident of getting?”
“Heads, I always flip a head.”
“Ok, go ahead then. Heads for I’ll go out with Park Sungjin and tails for…”
With utmost concentration, Sungjin flips the coin and slams his palm over it when it lands. Opening his palm, his face immediately becomes crestfallen: staring back at him was a tail.
But you haven’t finished your sentence yet.
“Tails for…I’ll still go out with you anyways!” you said, as you gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Really? You would?”
“Ask any more questions and I’ll reconsider.”
“Ok, ok I won’t ask any more questions! What do you want to eat?”
“Fried chicken!”
“Oh, I was betting that you’ll say fried chicken!”
“Betting on fried chicken is great Park Sungjin, but I'm betting on something else now.”
Sungjin turns to look at you and he says, "So, what are you betting on now?"
"I'm betting that you'll give me a kiss."
"Really? How are you so sure?"
"I know you Park Sungjin, I know you'll do it. So, am I getting a kiss or not?" 
Without another word, Sungjin closes the space between the both of you, so close that if either moved, your lips would touch. You closed your eyes and waited for the impact, but instead you felt something soft press into your forehead and you immediately smiled. 
"Not where I was expecting, but ok Sungjin."
"I'm saving the best for the last."
"I'm holding you accountable for that statement."
"You can bet your life on it that I'll fulfill it."
Not only was he your best bet, he was your favourite bet too.
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asking-jude · 6 years ago
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Hi. So sometimes i feel too lazy to eat. I don't have energy to prepare anything and eat it so i end up eating things like 2-3 cookies, slice of cheese or something very small like that. It always happens when im alone and there is nobody to control me or eat with me. But when there is someone i can eat anything even big portions. And i wonder what is wrong with me? I had deppresion few years ago and this problem with eating started with deppresion. (Part 1/3 🐧)
(ask continued) …I still have sometimes depresive episodes and additionaly i have anxiety but i dont know if this is it. I also not sure if this is eating disorder because like i said i can eat anything when there is someone with me. I can even eat whole cake if i want and im with somebody. There is also no problem with preparing food but only if im preparing it for me and someone. Of course i have complexes. I want to be slim.
I weight 112-114 (thats good weight for my body) and that is fine with me. I don’t want to weight less than that but when scale shows 116 I feel gulity and try to lose this one pound no matter what. But even when i weight those 112-114 I still have this problem with eating. So what it is. Am i just lazy or is it some mental problems?
Hi there-
Thank you for having the courage and self-awareness to seek help for this issue of yours. You did the right and brave thing by reaching out to us. There are definitely some things you can do to help yourself in this situation. 
First, can you explore why you don’t have the energy to eat in the first place? Eating is a primal drive and our body is instinctively wired to urge us to seek out food. For that reason, it is a problem that something is getting in the way of this innate urge. There might be several things contributing to your lack of a normal relationship with food. You mentioned that your food issues commenced when you started experiencing depressive episodes. Lack of appetite is definitely a symptom of depression and may be contributing to your inconsistencies in eating. After reading your post and description, it seems like your depression might be the main contributing factor for you feeling “too lazy to eat.” I also experience depression and during major depressive episodes, I also lose my appetite and feel apathetic towards food. I don’t think you are “too lazy” to eat, but that you are just lacking the energy and motivation to do so which depression drains from you. 
I would suggest you take this eating attitudes test to see whether or not you might have an eating disorder: https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/eating-attitudes-test/. If you take the test and it states that you might have an issue, I would suggest seeking out a therapist. For your convenience, here is a link to a therapist/psychologist web search. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Next, for some practical tips on remembering how to eat: (even when you feel too depressed to have an appetite)
1. Set a reminder on your phone - On the iPhone, there is an app called Reminders, go in there and set yourself a daily reminder to eat as many times as you need to. For you, that may look like 3+ reminders a day for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and maybe even some snacks. Or have someone you trust text you around meal times to remind you to eat. You state that when you are around others that you tend to eat more. Perhaps surrounding yourself with others and their encouragement when you eat will help. 
2. Meal Prep for the Week - All your meals are already planned out and all you have to do is reach into the fridge/freezer to eat. Create meals on a Sunday and put them in Tupperware for the rest of the week so you can just grab and go. 
3. Set a Meal Routine - Routine is so important when it comes to doing anything. When you have a routine set, it becomes easier for your body to adjust and do certain things automatically. 
4. Have snacks in your purse, backpack, and other common areas - if you are surrounded by food and have easier access to it, the more likely you will remember to eat. 
( https://thehappyarkansan.com/blog/remember-to-eat-with-tai-pei/) 
In sum, you need to explore why you always forget to eat and perhaps see a therapist if the eating attitudes test shows that you struggle in this area. In the meantime, use some of the practical tips listed to help you remember to eat. 
Also check out the Asking Jude Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AskingJude
All the best, 
Breanna Shearin
Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.
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