#this is maddys fault

[wulfums]

thinking so heavily abt a skyrim smiling friends au

i can see the smiling friends company itself being a mix of the companions and the dark brotherhood with frowning friends being the thieves guild equivilant (but absolutely tries to muscle in on smiling friends companions and dark brotherhood contracts)

nothing goes like it does in game but the settings are similar bcuz its a fun world. so like daedric princes are the same, lore of that is the same.

but i put smiling friends in there

grim and gnarly actually kind of suck at being in the thieves guild. to the point to where mr boss just buys it so he just owns all three guilds but also lets them compete because why not. meanwhile grim is seething because he was so gonna buy the guild from the former leader when he saved up enough...meanwhile gnarly is like. no you werent.

gristle's lore gets changed a bit. hes a demi-god daedra Thang who has had flings with like. most of the princes. and talks abt this shit so casually. but he pissed the wrong one off and now hes mortal and so bitter abt it. he makes some good drinks though so he gets to be the tavern keeper of the thieves guild. and is dating grim and gnarly still. 3G forever.

i think some of the Other members of the thieves guild are other side characters. i think itd be fun if thats where zoey and marge are.

the thieves guild is literally just the "you didnt make the cut for the main cast" guild. esp after mr boss buys it, they get side jobs not important enough for the main smiling guys.

mr boss is the dragonborn and the alduin crisis never happens because he makes alduin uncomfortable so alduin chooses to not show up. mr boss and parthunaxx are besties.

instead of the dark brotherhood sanctuary, the smiling friends are located in whiterun, the companions hall. the werewolf thing isnt a thing, though whatwulf is a werewolf and offers any new recruits. mostly as a joke. but because they let whatwulf join, knowing hes a werewolf, the silver hand IS still an issue bcuz they want that shart DEAD! so whatwulf ends up working the skyforge and not doing anything fighting wise. he WANTS to but allan is like oh absolutely not. and you find it its bcuz whatwulf straight up almost died once protecting allan bcuz they got in a fight w the silver hand (allanwulf are married)

i think maybe allan is also a werewolf but he doesnt like talking about it. and has full control over changing so he only does it if he needs to protect his husband. so the silver hand dont even Know hes a werewolf. allan also did this bcuz he wants to know in the afterlife he'll still b w his husband, and honestly hunting w hircine for eternity w his husband? doesnt sound that bad.

pim and charlie are often sheild brothers and are the ones to go thru most of the main storylines Of Course! they also get a lot of the most bullshit jobs.

a lot of ep storylines are the same concepts but skyrimified. like they get called to an underground cave to deal with a weird fucking guy- but its professor psychotic and hes like WAIT HEAR ME OUT- so a longass questline involving going to talk to doug and then the homonculus hatching, etc happens

sorry im having fun thinking abt this hehe

[purpleshimmer]

maddie nolen - arcane season two (scenepacks used)

[lover-of-mine]

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 324

Is Mermay Over? Yes. Is that going to stop me? No. 

So, Danny and Jazz might’ve run off to their uncle’s- they love their parents, don’t get them wrong, but even with at least one person in each generation of their family ending up a villain, they’re… intense. And they were getting that I’m going to destroy the government for this, look on their faces. 

SO! Off to Uncle Crane’s, the somehow responsible one of the family. Seriously, how the Gotham Rogue is somehow the responsible person is… well, it’s a story to be sure, but hey, he’s actually pretty chill. And sometimes you need fear to eat and survive, they get it, it’s a liminal thing and a ghost thing. 

Siren thing? 

Look, it’s something to do with how ecto interacts with the body of a living or partially living person, even if they’re all still baffled about the how and why. Then again, it’s not particularly important at the moment, they’re in Gotham now and vibing in one of their uncle’s homes. 

Honestly? They see why he didn’t move away after university, this place is pretty chill. Well, save for the fact the waters are horrible unless you’re used to it, but that’s what the tanks indoors are for. Even if Danny is the only one of them that has like, a proper fully aquatic form at the moment. 

But honestly, doesn’t really matter. They’re pretty chill, even if the local furry brigade keeps breaking into their warehouses? Like damn, it’s not like their uncle is even currently doing rogue work, chill. 

[dollfat]

"i waited for her to come back and force me into the ground" is so bittersweet. fearing change and hoping someone will make the decision for you.

[coff33andb00ks]

🌈 + max + green :D

Maaaaxxxxx 🥰🥰

Join me at the 1k bonfire!

Max is an ocean kinda guy. He's blue. Everyone knows this. On breaks and off season he's always on a yacht or at a beach. He enjoys the tumultuous nature of the sea, and sometimes you reflect that he sees himself in the churning waves and unexplored depths. If asked he'll tell you that he just likes it is all, schatje, don't go psychoanalysing him please.

But this summer break is different. Where do you want to go, he asked. What do you want to do?

You wanted to just be with him. You're not an ocean kinda person but you were willing to face your fears of sharks and whatever else was lurking in there to spend down time with Max. He insisted, though, that you choose somewhere, and so you chose somewhere guaranteed to give him peace and quiet. No yachts, no waves, nothing that will feed his need for adrenaline rushes constantly.

And it's here, in the cozy cabin tucked on a mountainside, that you see Max at true calm. Dappled sunlight through the trees dances across his face as you share a hammock with him. His fingers sweep through the bed of clover, finding four-leaved ones with ease. His smiling face against the backdrop of lush trees, his laughter melding with the splashing stream on a morning hike.

Max is an ocean kinda guy. He's blue.

But you're learning that he's also a summertime mountains kinda guy, too. He's verdant.

[tightjeansjavi]

Joel Miller’s hands…mmm yeah..hands..they’re so—yeah. Hands

Woof

[momowoah]

Okay but I really think that the worst part is that this is season seven. Unless they're planning to turn 9-1-1 into the new Grey's Anatomy the chances of us being already in the final half of the show are huge. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any drama, but the characters should've started to go forward, and yet nearly all of them feel stuck in the same place they have been for several seasons. Or should I say 2-3 seasons?

tldr: all/most S7 storylines were either useless in the long run or recycles. The only characters who had storylines on the good side of the scale (as in, they helped the characters develop and move to a new place in their lives) were Maddie and Chimney (and maybe Buck but he's on thin ice). All the characters are back to the same place they were in s4/s5. It's probably TM's fault. This shouldn't be happening in a 7th season.

(really long post under the cut but worth it imo)

Bobby and Athena had a whole seven episodes for their storylines and yet it didn't significantly change anything about them or their relationship. The doubts of how they are when they're at peace that were brought up in ep1 ended up not being addressed at all. We started the season with what was supposed to be this huge thing in their relationship and it was just never brought up again! Instead they put bathena through distress again just for the sake of being dramatic. And while I'm extremely glad we got Amir and think there were several high points in his storyline, what difference did it make in the long run? Yes, it brought up interesting things to Bobby's storyline, such as more insight into his childhood and the chance for him to explore another side of the fire he caused, but is it going to change anything? No! Bobby will be reinstated in S8 bc that's just how these things go, and I doubt they'll put any effort to continue the survivors storyline. I'd bet it'll just be ignored in the next seasons.

Hen and Karen have been trying for YEARS AND YEARS to adopt a child and they just can't let them! As a wlw, do you know how awful that is to watch? Seeing them fail time and time again and have their family broken up once again just because??? It was one thing with Nia, she got a happy ending, but that wasn't the case with Mara. The best thing for everyone involved would be for her to stay with Hen and Karen, but they blew it up. I know she's with Madney, but it's not the fucking same. Why do they have to go through this again? Why can't they finally get the family they've spent years fighting for? Why can't the drama be about anything else, why does it have to be about failed adoptions? I've seen this enough times before. Why not let them be able to adopt???? Why? I'm genuinely upset abt this btw, probably more than about anything else that went down.

Buck got to finally come out and it was great but instead of taking it as an opportunity to let him grow into himself they just threw him right back into the hamster wheel of dating people who are either not fully into him or who he's not fully into. (if you like bt probably skip the rest of this paragraph but I'd also be upset about how they're handling them if I liked the ship bc I liked the previous bt and they did something similar to them lol) Tommy's behavior could be explained away at first, but I feel like time and time again the show goes the extra mile to make him uninterested in Buck or just straight up an asshole to him? Instead of taking the small opportunities of portraying them as a healthy happy couple they just consistently screw up their relationship? They're not the couple I support but even then I wanted them to be good together bc I want Buck to be happy, and yet all we get is this?

I don't even have words about Eddie, especially considering what rg has said about him destroying his life and possibly reverting back to military no emotions mode next season. WHY CAN'T HE BE HAPPY? We already saw him break down, WE'VE ALREADY HAD A STORYLINE ABOUT HIM REBUILDING HIS LIFE, but happiness is boring so now he has to ruin his relationship with his son too right? It just pisses me off how they go about his character sometimes. I liked that they were bringing back the Shannon storyline because he was supposed to be able to finally move on, but this wasn't about that. No, it was about retraumatizing Eddie and Chris and splitting them up at a time when they should be leaning on each other and healing, because Chris has also been suffering with the Shannon stuff. We saw it in fucking ep 1. Don't even get me started on the Marisol stuff because idek why she was there at all. Literally don't get it. We had an off-screen breakup anyways. She wasn't relevant at all to anything that happened. Why was she even there? I'm genuinely asking. The only Eddie arc that has some positive potential for next season is him dealing with his relationship with religion (especially if they tie it to the military and the way he lives his life for others' expectations), but tbh I don't trust them not to fuck it up.

Finally, I don't have complaints about madney, except for why tf was Maddie so absent this season? The wedding episode was all about Chimney (who was also maybe kinda missing tbh), and although I love him and his backstory and the opportunity to see Kevin again, I really wanted it to be about their relationship, since it was their wedding, yk. Dispatch was also severely under utilized. We did get the 7x07 Maddie plotline and it might've been bc it was a shortened season but yeah, I'm still not that satisfied.

So, we have all the characters stuck in places they've been before. More specifically, in the place they were in season 4/5. Bathena relationship problems followed by a life threatening situation? Check. Henren struggling with adoption? Check. Buck getting into what was supposed to be a good relationship only for it to end up going really bad? Check. Eddie struggling with relationships and his mental health going to hell? Check. Madney in a good place with a new child and about to have an awful fucking time? Hopefully just check for the first part. And you know which question this makes me ask? It's whether Tim Minear is just reverting everyone to their s4 state out of spite for the seasons he was away. And even if it is a genuine attempt at getting the show back on the track he wanted out of good intentions, it still sucks, because it doesn't change the fact that it is just a repeat of old storylines. I actually complained at this before the show even aired, but (iirc) I ended up deleting my post because I thought that I was just overreacting. Guess what? I fucking wasn't, bc that's EXACTLY what they did.

Now, going back to the start of this post, the reason why all these storylines suck so much is not that they are bad. It's not even that they aren't original. No, it's the fact that we're doing storylines that belong in the fourth or fifth season of a show in its seventh season. Even the Gerrard plotline, which is new to 9-1-1, feels like it came too late, because the split up crew/villain captain storyline tends to happen much sooner in procedurals, and for a reason. Besides the fact that this was never really a big bad type of show and I don't get why they are making it one all of a sudden, and ignoring the fact that Gerrard being brought back as captain, especially to the 118 of all places, makes no fucking sense, that kind of plotline is one that it's obviously always temporary. No one believes he'll still be the captain by the end of 8A, much less by the end of the season. He'll hardly survive the first 3-5 episodes. That's ultimately a filler storyline. It helps the show go on for longer, it might even help in the development of a couple characters, but at the end of the day it doesn't change anything, which appears to be a recurring theme when it comes to 9-1-1 storylines.

The reason I have a problem with this is that we don't need a filler storyline, because no one knows whether the show has the luxury of taking its sweet time. Yeah, it has a huge audience and it is doing good numbers, but it is still a fucking money pit that was already cancelled once and it's unsustainable on the long run. It might not end that soon, but is it honestly going to reach season 14? Does anyone truly think that we've only seen half of it (or less) so far? Because I don't. Not many shows make it that far, and there's a reason for that. We have three huge names who are extremely important to the show. What happens if they get tired? What happens if someone gets a better offer? What happens if we're still revisiting old storylines when that happens? Do we get an incomplete story or a rushed one?

The show should be moving forward, even if there are no plans for it to end soon. We have the drama of the huge disasters 9-1-1 loves. We have the drama of the cases. We have a myriad of new possible dramatic storylines for the characters that show development without being too final. Athena could have so many different job related storylines (from moving up in her career to abandoning it), and her and Bobby's storyline from the beginning of the season about being boring together can be played in a good and dramatic line. Henren and Madney have a whole world of parenting issues that they could go through. Buck and Eddie both still need either an endgame love interest (whether it's each other or not) or to get to the point where they are fine not having one, and we have all of the relationship trouble that comes with that. This show can give us new things, storylines that are good for the characters, without losing the dramatic factor (which, if I'm being honest, would not be a deal breaker for me). Yet, it refuses to, and probably not for a good reason, because it comes down to either Tim wanting to rewrite history or just trying to drag this show for as long as possible (which apparently he only knows how to do by refusing to make the characters happy). And you know what? I'm fucking mad about it, and I think you should be too.

Btw, this is not to say the whole season sucked. We got Madney and Henren together multiple times which was great. We finally got Bi Buck. There were several amazing acting moments for both the main and recurring actors. As a standalone season, it was good. It just doesn't work when you look at the bigger picture.

[thebuckandeddiething]

That, kids, is why bachelor parties should be at least a week before the actual wedding... Every possible problem solved: you can replace ruined or burned (jesus christ, Buck...) clothes, nobody's hungover and most importantly NO ONE (ALMOST) MISSES THE FUCKING WEDDING

[rhetorical-conscience]

[ashleyishere24]

Maddie is innocent

[thetorturedlovergirl]

I- pls stop letting Maddy use their phone pls make her sleep

Im still giggling ngl this is so bizarre

[timelinemh24]

First:

A FUCKING POSTER OF EVER AFTER HIGH AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA!!

Second:

All my life I thought these two were mute. I feel cheated 🙃

Third:

AAH THE LAGOONA FAMILY!!

I love how big it is.

There's something about the design of his marine family that I don't like. I feel like they didn't take much risk with them. I'm very sure it's the standard design for marine beings in the middle. But I guess it makes sense seeing Lagoona's appearance. (although I would have liked something more striking)

[dangerpronebuddie]

Buck gives Eddie a ring camera - they have separate shifts, Chims trying to teach Eddie how to use it - connects to Bucks house where they hear and see him talking to his friends about a plan to get over Eddie an it starts that night (maybe bucks gonna fuck someone else or maybe he’s just got a date idk) que Eddie freaking out

Im never gonna write it so you’ll have to deal with this idea stuck in your head just like mine

Nonnie, how dare you (affectionate) 😁

I saw this at 8am. By 10am, I had the thing written. I don't know what possessed me. Hope this is something like what you had in mind! 🥰😘

Ta da! 🎉

Lost Control And Rang Your Bell 3k

"I can't lose him, Maddie." "Who says you will?" she asks. "I know him. I know what he'd do," Buck says. "He'd let me down easy, because he's just that good. He'd say we can still be friends, but it'll be awkward and weird, and I can't do that to him." "You don't even know how he feels," Maddie says. "You're taking his chance to tell you away from him." Jealousy curls around Eddie's chest like a climbing vine. Buck hasn't mentioned any new crushes. For a brief moment, Eddie thinks maybe he means Tommy, but they aren't friends, not really. Haven't stayed in touch since the ship. Unless Eddie just didn't know. "I have to," Buck says, his voice breaking. "Maybe we shouldn't be listening to this," Chim whispers, like they could actually hear him. Maddie speaks before Eddie has the chance to say anything. Chim, just as nosy, doesn't leave the app. (Or, Buck buys Eddie a Ring doorbell and Eddie overhears something he really shouldn't have).

Read on ao3

[fionaswhvre]

And if I say Buck is thinking of Maddie here:

I loved her and she left me anyway.

[guardian-of-da-gay]

It's Not Your Fault

Sequel to You're Still Alive in My Mind

Read on Ao3

For Whumptober 2024 Prompt 20: "It's not your fault."

tw: depression, repression, desecration of corpses, suicidal thoughts

“It’s not your fault.”

That’s what the Wachowskis kept telling him.  What Wade said every time they caught a glimpse of the destruction.  It was that other echidna.  He’d made Knuckles do those things.  Knuckles wouldn’t have hurt anyone, wouldn’t have destroyed those towns, wouldn’t have attacked his friends and family.

The men from G.U.N. didn’t tell him it wasn’t his fault.  They asked .  Did he remember?  Did he mean to?  How did he feel about it?  Did he regret it?  Did he feel guilt? Remorse?

Knuckles told them nothing.

He remembered.  But it was like a dream.  Everything had made sense at the moment, but now it didn’t.  He remembered doing those things.  He remembered doing them and being happy about it.  Happier than he had ever been before.  Probably happier than he would ever be again.  But he didn’t know why. 

He’d found satisfaction in vengeance before, but never joy in wanton destruction.  Victory felt good, but violence and death were practical and impersonal.  He didn’t delight in them.

So yes, he remembered doing those things.  He had meant to at the time.  He had been happy to do them then.  Now he wasn’t.  He didn’t feel anything.  Everyone else was expecting regret, guilt, and remorse, but Knuckles felt nothing.  Absolutely nothing at all.  Just tired.

He’d felt something briefly.  When he first woke, he thought he was having a nightmare.  He was the last of his kind.  All his family, tribe, species were dead.  Their rotted corpses lay strewn out as far as the eye could see.  Knuckles had felt so much he could barely breathe.  He’d squeezed his eyes shut and prayed he could wake up from this horrible dream.

Wade found him.  He hugged Knuckles and told him everything would be okay now.  The nightmare was over.

Knuckles believed him so he opened his eyes.  But the nightmare wasn’t over.  It was just real-life now.  His people were all dead.  Their corpses had been used by the only other surviving echidna for his own ends.  That echidna was dead now too.  And strangers were everywhere, collecting his people’s bodies like they were scraps of trash on the side of the road.

By the time they reached Wade’s car, Knuckles stopped feeling.  They were still there, locked behind a dam.  If he released them, he would drown.  Talking chipped away at that dam, so he didn’t.  The Wachowskis greeted him, but he didn’t know what to do with their happiness.  He had none left in him.  He let them hug and fuss, but he had nothing to give back.  They mistook his silence for guilt, and so they kept reminding him: “It’s not your fault.”

They couldn’t comprehend that he might be grieving.  That he’d lost his people for the second time and now their bodies were in the hands of strangers.  Were they taking care of them?  What if their masks fell off or their beads snapped or their armor slid off their bones?  They needed those in the afterlife!  Would they put them back on the right person?  Would they pick them up?  Would they care?

The answer was no, of course.  People either hated echidna or didn’t care about them at all.  And most of them had no personal reason to feel that way.  These humans did.

So Knuckles wasn’t surprised when Commander Walters informed them his people were going to be burned.

The Wachowskis had a lot to say to this announcement, but he could scarcely hear it over the roaring in his ears.  Tom and Maddie sat on one side of him.  Sonic and Tails were on the other.

Knuckles stared down at his fists.  His gloves were frayed now.

“... should be buried in their people’s customs.”

“...quick disposal.”

“This isn’t up for discussion.”

“Is the US government really going to…?”

“...welcome to create a change.org petition….”

“Oh, you did not–”

“These are aliens, Mrs. Wachowski–.”

“Knuckles.”  Maddie turned to him so suddenly that Knuckles started.  He looked up into her angry face.  “What do you want?”

Commander Walters raised a hand to interrupt and Maddie shot him a venomous glare and held up one finger.  Her audacity shocked him into silence.

“What do you want, Knuckles?”  Maddie asked, more gently.

Knuckles wanted to disappear.

“Is cremation how the echidnas usually did things?”  Sonic asked.

Knuckles shook his head.  They should be returned to the earth, the echidna’s second home.  Being left on the battlefield was less favorable but still honorable.  Being burned into nothing was not abhorrent… but it was not their way.  But what could Knuckles do?

What did it even matter?  What was one more scrap of injustice in the patchwork of misery that was his life?  His people had been reviled across the galaxy for centuries, driven into extinction.  Of course their culture would be disrespected long after all but one of them were dead.  Of course they would be destroyed so thoroughly that there would be nothing left.

Nothing was ever fair for him.  He couldn’t change that.  Why should this be any different?  Why should the Wachowskis be able to change things?  The universe didn’t bend to their wishes just because they cared for him.  Walters certainly didn’t.

“The fact of the matter is, we don’t want to waste resources burying our dead enemies when we have living people whose homes and livelihoods were destroyed.”

That was met with an uncomfortable silence.

“We could lay them to rest?”  Tom tried.

“There’s nearly ten thousand bodies.”

Another quiet pause.

Maddie touched his hand.  Knuckles stared at it numbly.  “Could we… could we at least lay Knuckles’ father to rest?”

Walters held out his hands.  “There’s nearly ten thousand bodies!  Finitevus must’ve been collecting them from all over.  Our scientists have dated some of them at over six thousand years old!”

“Those would be…” Tails said anxiously.  “Pretty culturally significant, right?  Really old human bodies are important.  You want to just burn these?”

Walters folded his fingers together.  “We have to ensure nothing like this can happen again.”

“You already have!”  Sonic said.  He was the only Wachowski on his feet.  “Finitevus is gone!”

Walters eyed Knuckles.  “Someone else could take up his work.”

“Says the guy who is determined to become part of a villain origin story.  And no, I’m not talking about Knuckles!”

“Easy, Sonic,” Tom urged.  Sonic shot him a betrayed look.  He saw Knuckles watching him and his face fell.  “Knuckles?”  He asked.  “Won’t you say something?”

He should.  He knew he should.  He would regret saying nothing.  But unfortunately… “Nothing I say matters.”

All the Wachowskis looked at him.  It was the first thing he’d said since Wade had brought him back.  Since his emotions had gone away.  They were shocked into silence for a moment.  Then the moment was gone.

“That’s not true–”

“It is true,” said Walters.  “The decision has been made.  This meeting is just to inform you.”

Maddie opened her mouth to speak, but Walters interrupted:  “The United States government doesn’t officially recognize the existence of aliens so we don’t officially recognize their human rights…  Which they aren’t.  So they don’t have any.”

Sonic bristled.  “Are you serious?  I helped you guys save so many people, isn’t that worth anything?”

“We are allowing you to keep a super weapon.”

“Wha–The Master Emerald has nothing to do with it.”

Again Walters looked at Knuckles.  “Correction: we are allowing you to keep two super weapons.”

The car ride home was quiet except for the occasional sniffle from Maddie.  Tom had tried to offer some consolation, but she’d cut him off with a quiet, but heated: “Not now Tom, I’m furious .”  And no one wanted to follow that with anything.  So she cried in the front seat while Sonic slowly deflated into his defeat in the back.  Tails wouldn’t stop holding himself.  Tom just seemed determined to get them back to their temporary lodging.

They stopped at a red light and Tom glanced back at him.  “Are you okay, Knuckles?”  He asked.

Knuckles meant to say nothing, but words appeared in his mouth before they appeared in his head:  “Did you know they built a shrine where Longclaw fell?”

It was possible for silence to have a tone and that statement caused it to shift just slightly.  

“W-we could build a shrine here,” Sonic said, his voice strained.  “For your people.”

Knuckles wanted to ask who would visit such a shrine?  Who cared that his people were gone other than him?  The Wachowskis?  Certainly not Sonic.  Maybe the people from the towns the legion had destroyed.  Maybe they would come to spit on their memory.

But those words would chip away the dam.  So he said nothing and shook his head.

They returned to the temporary Wachowski home.  A hotel room many miles from the ruins of House Wachowski and Green Hills.  Tom said that they would go back and rebuild, but they would probably have to find other, more permanent, temporary lodgings soon.

The hotel had little privacy except for the bathroom, where Knuckles was not keen to spend much time, and the balcony, where everyone could still see him.  He chose the balcony.

He sat and stared out between the bars of the balcony’s railing.  A foreign city spread out before him.  All cities were foreign to him.  The only ones he had ever grown comfortable with were all destroyed now.

The door rattled as it slid open and shut again.  Knuckles did not turn to look, but he recognized Maddie’s footsteps as she approached.  She sat beside him.  He still did not look her way.

“I’m sorry for losing my cool back there,” she said.  “I… I should’ve asked you to speak more.  It’s your life.  Your people.”

She paused expectantly, but Knuckles had nothing to say to that.  It seemed so clear now that he had never had any control over his life.  He certainly had no control over the fate of his people.  Why should things be any different now?  His lone voice couldn’t change anything.  Walters had already made up his mind.  Short of attacking him and somehow stealing ten thousand bodies, there wasn’t anything Knuckles could do.  There was never anything he could do.

“Please, Knuckles…”  Maddie’s voice wavered.  “Please, talk to me.  Talk to me , Knuckles.  What are you feeling?  Do you feel sad?  Angry?  Guilty?  We keep telling you it’s not your fault–”

“That is not the problem!” The words burst out of him before he could stop it.  Something was bubbling up in him.  He had to keep a lid on it.  He had to.

Maddie just looked relieved that he’d said something.  “What is the problem?”

Knuckles wanted to say nothing.  But he could see the endless field of corpses every time he closed his eyes.  Not a nightmare.  Real.  His tribe lost for a second time.  And now they would be destroyed until no trace remained.  It was too much, the dam was buckling.

“I was dreaming.  A good dream.”  He started down at his fists, clenching and unclenching his hands. “Then I woke up.  Now I’m here where everything hurts.”  Oh.  He had not meant to say ‘hurts’.  He wanted to say ‘is horrible’.  ‘Hurts’ was on the other side of the dam.  ‘Hurts’ was a drowning word.  He was making it worse.  He made everything worse.

Maddie touched his hand.  

“Physically or emotionally?”

He grit his teeth.  His eyes burned.  It took all his strength to hold the flood back.  “ Everything. ”

“What can I do for you?  What do you want?”

He stared at the hands that had done so many bad things without his permission.  The only other echidna using him and then dying.  He thought of his father thrown on a pyre by strangers.  He squeezed his eyes shut and gasped for breath like he really was drowning.  He didn’t want this.  He didn’t want any of this!

He pressed his face into his fists and breathed like each breath would force the emotions back down.  Maddie did not press.  She allowed him to sit like that for a long, long moment.  Long enough for Knuckles to wrest some semblance of control over himself.  When at last he lowered his hands, he found her watching him, hopeful and expectant.

He answered her honestly:  “I want to sleep forever, and never wake up.”