#this is like the third time and i get sadder every time

[macandcheeseman500]

Me after watching the exorcist again

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

You know how we joke about the array being like a group chat or social media? Well imagine if prayers went into a sort of heavenly email inbox. And when Xie Lian ascends for the third time, he expects his to be empty aside from the occasional spam from someone trying to schmooze up to every god they can think of, or the sadder chain emails from people desperate for help from anywhere.

Instead, he opens it and finds thousands upon thousands of prayers dating back throughout the entirety of his banishment, all from the same untraceable source. He opens random ones. Some are sweet little things, "Your Highness, wherever you are tonight, I hope you sleep well."

Others are more complex, "Your Highness, I find myself in a position where I must either seize power myself or risk it falling into other, more wicked hands. My own hands will inevitably be dirtied by wielding that power, but would they not be just as tainted if I did nothing, and let worse things happen? I know what I will choose, but I still wonder what you would do in my place."

Others still make him blush tomato red up to the tops of his ears, trailing babble still imbued with frantic eroticism and clearly never meant to actually reach him, cutting in and out like a poorly tuned radio as the devotee tries to keep thoughts from becoming prayers, panted strings of "Your Highness, Your Highness, please please please..."

The prayers date back to a few years after his second banishment, which makes sense because his inbox had been wiped when he was banished. He's surprised it's been allowed to gather all of this since: he supposes it's just that no one has even thought to notice. The centuries the prayers span makes it clear they do not come from a human, which is confusing and intriguing in equal measure.

And then, early on, he finds one that makes his heart stop and then take off again at a gallop.

"None of them are quite right, Your Highness. If I carve a thousand, ten thousand, will I eventually get it right? Will I ever be able to capture the kindness and the ferocity you radiate in something as base and cold as stone? I'll keep trying forever, or until I can see you again in the flesh. Your Highness has a believer here who still offers worship."

And that is how Xie Lian realizes that Wu Ming still exists.

(Insert long canon-divergent AU I'm too lazy to write here. I think there needs to be some kooky misunderstandings. Xie Lian is now aware that Wu Ming is out there and loves him and is looking for him and is so distracted by his determination to find him that it takes him 600k words of stubbornly denying his growing affection for Hua Cheng before he finally realizes Hua Cheng IS Wu Ming and has been desperately trying to court him for several volumes.)

[leah-lover]

Little helper

lucy bronze x reader ( smut 18+)

Summary: you help Lucy with her frustrating about leaving Barcelona.

Content: spanking, daddy kink, strap-on sex, aftercare.

Ever since you and Lucy came to London she has been different. Her step is heavier, her sleep is messier and she is much more quiet than usual. You knew that leaving a club that she loved so much would haunt her. She loved Barcelona with all her heart. She adored the weather, the city, the team, and all the relationships she formed there. For you it hasn't been any different. Sure you missed Barcelona but not as much as Lucy did. After all, as long as she was with you you were happy.  You tried to talk to her about and to get her to share her thoughts with you but to no resolution. 

With the days progressing she only got sadder. She hasnt ignored you or your needs but she felt a little different, a little colder. Your heart ached for her and your brain hated her stubbornness and needed to always seem like she was okay. 

Today was no different than the past week.  Usually, she would get from training, go sit on the couch and wait for you to join  her with dinner in hand. She would cuddle with you, kiss you and sometimes have sex with you. But today you were determined to change her mood. As soon as she sat on the couch you took off your apron and your oversized t-shirt to show a set of black laced lingerie. You put your hair in a ponytail and headed staring to the living room. Once you got there you stood in front of her and knelt between her wide spread legs. She looked at you amazed and surprised. Her eyes scanned every inch of your body hungrily from your eyes to your chest to your core. She then leaned forward and gave you a sweet kiss. 

“ What did I do to deserve this?” she whispered a meare inch from your face. “ you have been sad lately and i thought since you didn't want to talk about it,  you can take it out on me?” you answered while looking at the floor, your submissive instincts kicking in.  “ Is my little girl worried about her daddy?” she teased. “ Yes, very much. I want to please you and make you feel better.” you whisper while still looking at the floor beneath you. 

Lucy then lifts your head up by your chin and takes your lips for a lustful kiss. “ I don't know if I can do this little one. Daddy is very angry today.” she admitted once you two separate. 

“ But daddy I can take it. I can take everything. I want to make you feel better.” 

“ I don't trust myself today. What if I hurt you?” you never heard lucy say that before a little part of you got scared once you heard her say this but you need so badly to make her feel better. 

“ You wont hurt me daddy. I trust you.” you reassure her. She stayed quiet for a minute. 

“ giving you a spanking would make daddy feel better.” she said. You immediately get up from your position and go to her lap. She gives you a pillow to put your head on. “ if you need me to stop, safe word.” she demanded. You nod in response. “ use your words little one.” 

“ Yes daddy.” you respond while you situate your head on the pillow. Her hands roamed every inch on available skin on your ass before the first hit. It was painful but it made your core flutter. 

Then came the second hit, the third and the forth. Your ass was pink, your skin was on fire, and your new underwear was damp. The room  echoed grunts from Lucy after each spank, hisses of pain from you, and occasional whispers of “ thank you daddy.” By the 10th spank,  your core became needy and the hisses of pain became moans. “ is daddy's little slut turned on? Did you want to be spanked so badly?” she said in a condescending tone. She didn't leave you time to answer, she gave a much stronger spank to which you responded with a pornographic moan. 

Lucy’s focus was on your ass. Every  spank was powerful, she didn't stop until she reached 40 spanks. By then your ass was red, your eyes were filled with tears, and your moans turned into cries of pain. At the 40th  spank she froze and closed her eyes. The echo carried your muffled cries. A few minutes later, she helped you straddle her lap. Your ass was in the air because sitting on it would be painful. 

“ You did soo good for daddy little one.” she said while wiping your tears away. “ Daddy feels so much better. I am not angry anymore.” she confesses. She then takes your lips for a much softer and more intimate kiss. You stay silent. The skin on your ass was burning and your core was needy and sensitive. “ Daddy thinks her good little girl deserves a reward. What do you want us to do?” you didn't usually choose what to do so you froze for a second. While you were thinking, Lucy's hand roamed your back and took off your bra. 

“ I want you to make love to me.” you whispered. She kissed your lips again, then moved on to your neck where she left shallow kisses. 

Lucy was aware of what your choice of words meant. You didnt ask for her to “fuck you” or for her to give you her “ cock” you wanted her to make love to you. She carried you to the bedroom and put you on  the bed slowly so as to not irritate your already sensitive skin. You watched as she went to the closet and came out wearing nothing but your favorite strap. She immediately went to work worshiping your body and giving every inch of your skin a passionate kiss. The silence in the room quickly turned into a symphony of moans coming from both you and her. When she arrived at your core. She found your pussy dripping with arousal. She came back up  to you and gave you another kiss. “ If I had known a spanking would get you this wet, I would have done it a long time ago.” you couldn't think about anything but her cock at this point. “ I need you,” you whispered. She immediately started to duck you after that. Her thrust was slow but fulfilling. She didn't leave you as her lips found a spot to bruise your neck. 

“ I am so full. I want to come.” you whisper in between moans. You felt lucy smile against your lips.  “ whenever you are ready.” Lucy loved to edge you but since this was a reward she wanted to make it easy on you. She kept her thrusts deep and slow which quickly made you cum. Your legs started to shake quickly and your head was deep in your pillow. A few minutes later Lucy came too in the same intensity as you. 

She stayed inside you for a few minutes until you both came down. “ stay still, I am gonna go get us a glass of water.” she said as she kissed your head. She then came back witha cloth, a bottle of lotion and 2 bottles of water. You were quiet, your brain still fuzzy from what just happened. She cleaned you up and handed you the water. “ turn around for daddy to apply the lotion on you.” she demanded. “ Daddy, I need to cuddle with you.” you answer shyly. 

“ We will , princess but I need to apply this first.” Getting you to do anything after you just had sex that didn't involve cuddling was a challenge for lucy. “ The quicker you turn around the faster we can cuddle. You comply angrily and let her apply the lotion on you. She does so in a sweet manner leaving a kiss when she was done. She found her place next to you and you cuddled to her side. You practically layed on top of her so that your ass can heal at night. 

“ Thank you for tonight my love.” 

“ You can always talk to me, you know.” 

“ not today, maybe tomorrow.” you saw her eyes closed as she drifted asleep. 

[fluffysucker]

Than I was at 16

Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU) Boxer/Biker! Bucky Barnes x Chef! Reader Part of the Miss Americana & The heartbreak Prince. AKA Bucky and his princess

ALL ONESHOTS CAN BE READ AS STAND-ALONE

You didn't expect how your day will turn out to be

A/n: Written in Third POV. No use of Y/N. However, the reader is referred to as a female. Likes, comments, reblogs are VERY VERY highly appreciated. Opinions really matter to me.

It's my birthday today so this is very self-indulgent. I'm sorry. I needed this. Hope you like it

Main Masterlist

You tried. You tried so hard. You tried to act like you didn't care. Like, it didn't matter. It didn't mean anything to you. But you couldn't. especially now that you were alone.

Moving the food around the plate with no appetite at all. You signed, as you knew you weren't going to eat a bite more. You wrapped the plate up next to the food you donate weekly. You were proud of how almost wasteless your restaurant was.

You got back inside, hoping maybe work would be the way to take your mind off things.

It was nothing. No big deal. That's what you kept repeating in your mind as you worked.

But it all went off the wall when you saw the text from Bucky telling you he was leaving the gym early and to meet at his place later.

You wanted to cry. It was so stupid, but it felt like a stab to your heart.

You knew Bucky wasn't a sentimental man, but he was thoughtful and considerate. He wasn't one for loud affection, but he cared so much.

So why did he forget about your birthday?

It was six o'clock now, and not a single simple 'Happy Birthday'. For the whole week, he had been acting like there was nothing important. He never mentioned it. It was a completely normal week for him.

You couldn't say that didn't hurt. It hurt much more than you wanted to admit.

You knew that the nature of your relationship wasn't like others. You knew yours, and Bucky's personalities had their big differences. And you were okay with that. You enjoyed it most of the time. It was fine.

However, you hoped that maybe today Bucky would be willing to step more into yours.

Birthdays were a big deal for you. Everyone who knew you knew this about you. You cared about birthdays. You thought of it as a chance to show your friends and family how much you truly loved and appreciated them. You wanted the people you love to have a special day every year when they were reminded of how lucky you were to have them and of how great and wonderful they were.

You had already received a couple of texts and calls from some of your family members and friends. But none of them were the ones you wanted.

You expected at least a small happy birthday kiss when you woke up tangled together in your bed this morning. And that would have been enough for you. You would have been the happiest. But you got nothing. You carried on with your routine like any other day. Until you separated at the doors of your workplaces, it was like every day.

But it wasn't. It was your birthday.

You tried to cheer yourself on, reminding yourself that not everybody cares about birthdays like you do. And that was okay.

But you almost shed tears when the staff working with you in the restaurant brought a leftover cupcake from today's work with a candle in it, singing Happy Birthday before you closed.

It was just you and them as all customers had left, and you were closing up the place. They even chipped in and bought you a present. You tried to turn it down politely, but they insisted that they wanted to give you something nice like you always gave them. You almost cried on the spot. But you weren't sure if it was all happy tears.

As you thanked them for the hundredth time before you parted ways so each of you would go home, you couldn't help but feel sadder. Your staff remembered your birthday, and your boyfriend didn't. The young adults took away part of their money to get you a present, and your boyfriend didn't.

While their simple gesture meant the world to you, leaving you with a full heart, you couldn't help but think about how the staff working with you had shown you more love and care than your own boyfriend.

Maybe it was your time to compromise. It had been Bucky who was putting in the most effort so you could meet in the middle. And it was all for your wishes. While you did wait for him, gave him all the time he needed, and took things at his pace, it was he who had to find a new comfort zone where both of you could exist together.

So maybe now it is your turn to give up and learn to accommodate. And Bucky was worth it. So worth it.

But would a small happy birthday have killed him? How could it have slipped his mind like this?

You breathed in and out, trying to keep your emotions together. It was going to be fine. You would get used to it. It was okay.

You loved Bucky so much that you would let go of this. You prioritized your relationship over failed expectations.

You tried freshening your mind, so you chose to walk to Bucky's apartment. It was a bit of a long way, but you didn't mind. You needed it. And it was quite nice.

While the gym and restaurant were in what could be called good areas of the city, Bucky lived upstate. He had a luxurious, big apartment that he refused to call a penthouse. But it kind of was. And it was immaculately decorated. Morden with hints of vintage It took your breath away the first time Bucky brought you.

You weren't going to lie and say you weren't surprised by how comfortable and financially stable Bucky was. You thought boxers always struggled to make ends meet. It was a misconception on your part. You blamed media representation for that.

You greeted the doorman, who you grew to be friendly with as your visits and stays became more frequent. You got in the elevator and pressed the floor number. You reminded yourself for the last time that it didn't matter. It would be better and easier if you let it go.

You got out of the elevator to walk to the back of the floor, where Bucky's apartment was. You noticed the pattern of always preferring the back of a place where privacy was most granted.

You used the key that Bucky gave you a while ago to open the door. You shared the apartments' keys long ago. You were going so steady. Another reminder to yourself not to make a big deal of this

You frowned at the complete silence as you walked in. Hasn't Bucky come back yet?

"Bucky?" You called out of your boyfriend because it wasn't like him to not hear you coming in. You always teased that he somehow had enhanced hearing.

"In the guys room." His voice rang in the apartment.

You put your stuff on the table as you walked into the apartment. The guys room in Bucky's apartment was the second-largest room in the house. And that was why it was the guys room. Because Steve or Sam, sometimes both, stayed over in this room way more than they stayed in their own homes. The closer you got to Bucky, the more you saw how close the three men were. It was a beautiful friendship that you admired. They teased each other and bickered to no end, yet they would die for each other in a heartbeat. You were happy your boyfriend had this kind of bond in his life. He deserved it.

You assumed both men were here as well, and they all left together. It was fine. You enjoyed their company very much.

It was unusual for the guys to have the door of the room closed. But you didn't pay much mind as you opened the door.

You should have.

You stood there in awe, shock expressions written all over your face. Your feet were rooted in their place. It was taking you a moment to comprehend what was in front of you.

The room was bare of any furniture that once occupied it. From the ceiling to the floor, glistening decorations were all over the room. Balloons, foil metallic fringe curtains, and everything. The word "happy birthday" hangs hugely in the centre of the room.

The room looked better than the pictures you see on the internet. It was like it came out of your dreams. Like someone got in your brain and copied it and made it even more beautiful.

Someone who cared so much

The feeling of two strong arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you towards him broke you out of your trance.

"Happy Birthday, Princess." Bucky's raspy voice whispered in your ear.

You turned around to face him. Still unable to form words, you stood on your tiptoes to hug him and bury yourself in him for a moment.

"C'mon, let's celebrate."

The only furniture left in the room was the sofa and table. The table was covered in presents and gifts. In the middle, there was the most gorgeous, wonderful cake you had ever seen in your life.

"You remembered." These were the only words that could come out as surprise wore off.

"Of course I did." Bucky was confused.

"Doll, did you think I forgot about your birthday?" Bucky asked.

Looking at the room from your seat on the sofa, you were ashamed to answer. But Bucky didn't need a verbal answer.

"Oh, princess. I'm so sorry I made you think, though. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to surprise you."

Of course, Bucky remembered. He had been planning for this for over a month now. He had been counting the days until he finally had a day where he could spoil you endlessly. It's not like he needed a special occasion to spoil you. Bucky found out very early on in your relationship that he loved to do things for you. He was happy spending all his money on you. However, you never let him do that in peace. So he couldn't wait for your birthday so you wouldn't complain.

It wasn't his intention to make you think that he had forgotten about your birthday. It was just that he knew that if he said a word to you, he would spell out all his plans. He had no willpower when it came to you. It was like he was a completely different person from you. a person he very much enjoyed.

He didn't even spend two hours at the gym today. He just went to drag Sam and Steve with him. He had a long day ahead of him, and he needed help so the results would be perfect. And both men couldn't do anything but oblige. Moving furniture around was a pretty easy task for the men. However, hanging up balloons presented a great challenge for the men. But they overcame it, thankfully.

"You didn't have to do all of this." You were so grateful for this.

"Of course I did. I wanted to." What kind of boyfriend was Bucky if he didn't go above and beyond for his girlfriend?

"Now, let's celebrate." Bucky took the lighter off the table and lit up the candles on the cake, then started singing Happy Birthday.

In that moment, you felt a surge of emotions. Overwhelming even. The overflowing feeling of being loved engulfed you. There was someone in this world who wanted to celebrate you like you dreamed. Someone who put all the effort into you. Someone who gave you happiness you thought was only in fairy tales. Someone who chose to love you

Someone who was everything and more.

You knew what your wish was going to be this year. And you made it as you blew off the candles.

"Happy Birthday, princess."

Bucky leaned in to kiss you. You kissed him back and deepened the kiss, hoping to let him know how much you loved him.

"Want to open your presents?" Bucky spoke as you broke apart.

"I don't want to hear it. Just see them." Bucky added quickly before you protested that he shouldn't have brought you so many presents.

"Okay. Which one should I start with?" And you listened to him.

"This one." He brought a small box to your hand.

You took the box from him and opened it, only to be stunned.

"Bucky..."

"You don't have to wear it. I just wanted to give it to you." You could tell Bucky was nervous. Maybe he should have left this one to last.

"Are you kidding? This is so beautiful." You brought it out of the box.

Holding in your hand was a simple gold necklace with Bucky's initials in it. You loved it more than you could describe.

You turned your back to Bucky so he could help you put it on. It looked so delicate on your skin, and it meant so much to you.

"I'm never taking it off." You would never.

Bucky smiled at your words. He loved you so much that he didn't believe it sometimes. He gave your lips a little peck.

"That would have been enough of a present." You couldn't help yourself. You didn't want any presents. Every day with Bucky was a gift.

Bucky glared at you, warning you not to say stuff like this again, and let him spoil you once in silence. And you nodded.

The rest of the presenters were a variety of things. all things that you loved and had big interests in. even things you mentioned before. It was heartwarming to see how thoughtful Bucky was.

You are beaming with excitement and joy. Until the last present.

You grabbed the envelope with a tie wrapped around it. You had your eyes on it, but something told you to leave it for last.

And you were right.

"OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD." You got up screaming and jumping.

"Please tell me this is real." You turned to Bucky, holding the paper so tight in your hand.

"I can't joke about this." Bucky answered. His eyes were shining from seeing you so happy. That's all he ever wanted in life. You are happy because of him.

"I love you so much." You shouted as you threw yourself on him, hugging him so tightly.

"I love you too, doll." Bucky giggled as he hugged you back. Your happiness automatically makes him happy as well.

The envelope had tickets for a concert for your favorite singer. They had been your favorite since forever. You always talked about how long you wanted to see them live. But each time, either you couldn't afford it or tickets got sold out so quickly that you didn't get any.

However, Bucky managed to get the tickets. He knew people who knew people. And it was all worth it.

"I wanted to get the tickets for this weekend, but the team wants to celebrate your birthday." Bucky could vividly remember the look Natasha gave him when he told her they didn't need to do anything for you and that he was already planning something for you. If looks could kill, He would have been dead. How dare he think that they wouldn't celebrate your birthday? Their favorite sunshine. The audacity.

At the moment, right now, Yelena was already ordering the cake for the weekend, while Natasha was impressed by Steve and Sam's skills at hanging up balloons quickly.

Steve and Sam had no idea how they got dragged to decorate for your birthday twice on the same day. However, they weren't complaining at all. It was like having a little sister. So they were very okay with it.

"I got an extra ticket, so you can bring whoever you want with you." Bucky knew you had a couple of friends who were fans as well. He wanted you to have the choice to pick as you liked.

You had already picked.

"I know it's not to your taste so much, but would you join me and go together?" This concert had been your dream for so long, and you couldn't think of anyone other than Bucky to experience it with.

You wanted to be holding his hand as you watched your favorite singer take the stage. You wanted to dance with him as your favorite love songs played. Because all the love songs are about him now.

"I would love nothing more." Bucky replied before you could tell him that he could turn it down. He wanted to go with you. He wanted to see you check something off your Wishlist.

"I get to pick your outfit, though." You added, laughing.

"We will see about that." Bucky joked, but he knew he would wear anything if it meant making you happy.

You looked at Bucky with so much love and adoration. everything he did for you. You were beyond thankful.

"Thank you, Bucky."

"Thank you for being born."

Years ago, you were born to bring so much light and joy to this world. Years later, you become his light and joy.

And he wanted to spend all his life celebrating you.

Today was better than you ever expected.

[natequarter]

romana appears so often in the dweu that one can fairly linearly chart her relationship with the doctor across literally hundreds of years in a way that just isn't possible with most other companions; every so often she just shows up again in the doctor's life and rather than the 'oh so this is the tragedy of travelling with humans' which is fucking endemic to human companions returning it's 'oh shit dr. who has an ex (who doesn't want to murder him for kicks)'. which is infinitely funnier but also becomes infinitely sadder because they go from not liking each other in the ribos operation to best mates in the ribos operation the rest of s16 and just grow closer and closer until eventually they part on amicable terms and the doctor gets so miserable he dies and spends a whole body moping. then they repeatedly run into each other again and it's clear that they're still very much friendly only for their relationship to fall irreparably apart after the events of zagreus... and from then on gallifrey is on some level haunted by the doctor's distinct absence, which is sad for leela but i think unbearable for romana because he explicitly rejects everything she's doing and he's right! he's fucking right! gallifrey does corrupt her and they never talk again! (from her perspective. from the doctor's perspective, they do meet again in her third incarnation, but like. she also sucks, famously.) but it's also the fact that the doctor is really her first true friend and first exposure to the outside world, someone she thinks she can trust wholeheartedly... and then he abandons her, not once but twice, at the two points in time when she needs him most. horrible.

[misseviehyde]

THIRD TIME UNLUCKY

You really don't take a hint do you loser?

This is the third time you've made your friend take Elixir and turn into me, in the hopes of you both finally losing your virginity. Don't you think it's kind of pathetic?

I can see you slobbering to get your filthy incel hands all over my big tits, but it isn't gonna happen you dweeb. I thought the last time I transformed and kicked you in the balls I made it quite clear that I have zero interest in your scrawny body.

You fucking disgust me and so does he. Two pathetic nobodies who think they deserve to get laid just because they found how to make the Elixir. I bet that little bitch has jerked off so many times imagining becoming me. Imagining having my big tits on his chest, my tight pussy between his legs. He's even sadder than you are.

Too bad for him our memories are separate. He'll never fully remember how good it feels to be me, just that he knows it is better. To be fair, if I was him I'd transform into me every chance I got. I'm definitely the superior version of him.

If you think I'm gonna help you out though, you have another thing coming. I'm going out to have some fun instead. With these big milkers I won't be paying for any drinks tonight at the bar. Who knows, maybe I'll meet some hot guy and spend the night at his getting railed. I bet you'd love to imagine that wouldn't you?

Bah - you're so fucking sad. I can't believe you even thought you had a chance with me. Don't you get it simp? Girls like me don't like boys like you. You're fucking pathetic.

The Elixir has made me into a Goddess with all the natural drives a hot bitch like me should have. I'm gonna make sure your friend keeps getting addicted to being me, I think it's time I took over his life for good.

The only way you're getting laid tonight is if you drink Elixir too and become a girl. Maybe then I'll even make out with you. If you turn out as hot as I did, perhaps we could be friends?

Otherwise get the fuck out of my way. I have no time for reject incels like you.

Now scram...

[choosingwhatmatters]

Music in The Loyal Pin, Episode 5

Hello dear friends of musical endeavours. Welcome back to the journey through the soundscapes of The Loyal Pin. This is going to be a short post as I spent most of my time this week away from home. Still, I hope you enjoy.

Today is about a piece of music that has been fascinating to me since the very first time I’ve heard it in the show, and more so with every reoccurrence. But from the beginning first. We are in episode 2. Anil has just dismissed Prik from what could have been a shared afternoon snack with Pin, had Pin been able to eat anything. But Pin cannot stand the thought of Anil leaving. She is standing with her back to Anil, crying, and there’s a sweet, descending melody that starts out like this:

I dubbed the melody “Helpless.” On first listen, it sounds harmless. It is a melody featuring the notes of a major scale, thus sounding relatively happy. It derives its pain mostly from the onscreen visuals. Still, when hearing it for the first time, there was something about the piece that caught my ear, and I was curious in which contexts we would get to hear it again.

In episode 4, Lady Ueang hurts herself while cooking and Anil tends to her wounds with a tenderness that is hard to endure for Pin. However, the scene that put a bow to my heartstrings comes at the end of episode 4. Pin clings to Anil because of the thunderstorm. There’s a flashback to tiny Pin, shivering in the rain, begging her parents to wake up, and there’s the music again. The sweetness of the melody stands in stark contrast to the darkness, the despair. The discrepancy is hard for me to bear. Which is why I believe it’s a brilliant choice for the scene. Pin’s pain is mirrored by the high starting note and the rapid descend of the melody, which goes down whole octave in only four notes. A tiny outcry, a wail into the night, into the noise. What is striking to me is that the melody is still in a major scale. The obvious choice would have been a minor scale which by its nature sounds more sorrowful. You just lower the third note of the scale by one half tone and suddenly the piece sounds like this:

But that’s not Pin. True to her character, her music stays sweet. Kind. That is true for Pin in all stages of life that we see her in. I’ve talked about another piece that is connected to Pin’s suffering, “Pin’s heavy heart.” This piece sounds more wistful because the beginning revolves around a minor third. But the underlying harmony that calls us towards it – our homebase, tonic, first chord, whatever you want to call it – is a major one. Like most humans, Pin has become sadder as she got older, but underneath, she’s still hopeful.

Back to “Helpless,” though. It is one of the first things we hear in episode 5. Pin has fled from Anil’s embrace and has locked herself away. Anil is then alone, wondering whether Pin is angry at her. That is when the piece sets in. My theory is that it is not Anil’s helplessness we’re hearing, but Pin’s. In the past, we’ve heard the piece whenever Pin was overcome by emotions she could not suppress, and if an emotional onslaught due to royal kissing lessons does not fall into that category, I don’t know what does.

The piece reappears in what is one of my favourite scenes of the series so far. Anil is away for the funeral, and we have parallel shots of Anil and Pin with memories of one another echoing through their minds, accompanied by “Helpless.” We see Anil first, and her part of the music is unstable. Restless. There’s no determinable time signature (that I could make out). The melody wanders, looking for a place to rest but finding none. It stumbles through the harmonies, doubles back, sidesteps. My goodness, I just watched the scene again and it is only now that I noticed that Anil has tears in her eyes! This show is killing me.

In contrast to Anil’s despair, we have Pin reliving times of her life when her feelings for Anil have made her feel helpless. When she took care of Anil despite being afraid of her emotions. When she was jealous of Lady Ueang. When Anil comforted her through a night of thunderstorm. And then she’s smiling because she realises that what she is feeling is the unstoppable force, and against the unstoppable force, we all are helpless. Her acceptance is mirrored by the music. We have a steady 4/4 metre and the melody as well as the harmony create a familiar, recognisable atmosphere. Pin is ready to face the woman she loves.

There is something incredibly nerdy to say about some of the chords used in this piece, but I am unsure whether this is exciting to anyone but me. If you, by any chance, want to read what "Helpless" has in common with a lot of songs by Radiohead, please let me know. Then I'll write a short post about minor subdominants. However, I won't be offended if nobody does.

In any case: Thank you so much for reading and listening! I hope you enjoy the music of the series as much as I do. Have a good one and see you soon!

[sighonaraa]

Any thoughts about Foggy’s family reacting to Matt being back in the post-blip Daredevil fic?

HOUGH. thank you for asking this my love because i DIDN'T have any thoughts about it and now i DO. oh BOY DO I!!!!

See, what seems to be a million years ago, now, Anna's son brought home his roommate from college for Thanksgiving. He had told them all that Matt was different, whispered hushed through the phone, that he didn't come from anywhere nor have anywhere to return to, and that it had taken days of embarrassing pleading on his part to get Matt to even reluctantly agree to the visit. So Anna had said okay, honey, sounds good, and then she'd hung up the phone and worried with her husband as to what exactly it was that Foggy was bringing home with him. (What it was, was this: A kid, mop-haired and shy, mumbling please and thank you and offering to clean the dishes and jerking with surprise every time her husband clapped him on the shoulder.) (What it was, was this: Anna's third son.) She remembers Foggy telling her about Matt's--disappearance, the first time. She'd kept making an extra serving of dinner and dessert, just in case he returned, and eventually, he had. A bit quieter than before, a bit sadder, but whole. She doesn't remember Foggy telling her about Matt's second disappearance. Her own hands had been gritty with dust, or ash, or whatever it was they called it. She'd watched her husband crumble to pieces between her palms and then she had to open the front door to tell her son that his father was gone, only to find out that her other son was gone, too. And yet. And yet. Her husband is here again, and Matt is-- Matt is sitting at her kitchen table, socked feet tucked up beneath him, Foggy at one shoulder and Karen at the other, and he's saying please and thank you and offering to clean the dishes and it's like no time has passed at all, even though so much of it has. She passes her fingers through his hair as she sets their plates on the table. He doesn't flinch, not anymore. Instead, his body leans into the touch, and remains.

[0sincerelyella]

OMG BROTHERS WAS SOO GOOD! could you please do an alternate version where Sejanus still gets his heartbroken by coryo but he lives instead of dies, and so he walks away from coryo, silent tears rolling down his cheeks knowing coryo betrayed him (the only person he called a friend/could trust) and just goes home and sobs

caught - Sejanus Plinth

Summary: sejanus has his own tricks up his sleeve too. once a brother not always a brother

notes: Bare with me this one might get a tad bit confusing

snow wasn’t always as smart and sneaky as everyone had assumed, and as he himself had portrayed. he slipped up sometimes too, said things he shouldn’t have to the wrong people, betrayed friends. brothers.

sejanus wasn’t as arrogant as everyone decided they wanted him to be, he wasn’t blinded by his own kind heart like everyone thought.

he stood around the corner listening to the recording of his entire plan on the mocking jays. his heart sank to the bottom of his chest when he knew coryo was the one behind it. his coryo, his brother.

his first instinct was to find lucy gray, he couldn’t cry, he couldn’t hurt, he had to save his chance at saving countless lives. he had to make a difference.

lucy gray was stunned, her heart shattered as the love she had for coryo melted away like snow.

like how the coryo they knew melted away into the carcass of his father.

“your lying” she wouldn’t believe it. she thought they had trust, she thought she finally had something to put her hope in. “he’s going to get me killed” sejanus admitted, his chest heaving rapidly as his lungs tighted, he gripped his shirt in fear. “no he won’t” she promised, grabbing sejanus’ hand and dragging him towards where she thought he was.

the area where lucy gray spotted snow was crawling with peacekeepers, a place only they could step foot. “you have to get him yourself sejanus, then run, as fast as you can and destroy it.” sejanus nodded, following snow closely behind. “coryo!” he called, coryo wasn’t slick. sejanus saw the small bead of sweat above his eyebrow, which is unusual for their cool headed coryo that has killed. sejanus knows he will be the third if he isn’t quick, his heart grows sadder as the time passes

he eyes coryo up and down in search of the recording. but coryo is clean, he has hidden it. and sejanus knows where he had to have put it. “you know coryo i just wanted to say thank you” his heart burned. his blood boiled. “for what?”

“for being my brother, someone i can lean on. we’re gonna make a difference here. whether im going to be hanging in the tree someday or not” he hinted, he hinted that he knew of the betrayal but snow didn’t catch it. “a difference you shall make sejanus” he said, the two parted ways.

sejanus booked it to the peace keepers quarters, he ran as fast as he could and barrled through the doors. he knelt under coriolanus’ bed and rummaged through his box. low and behold right at the bottom is the recording of his speech to the mockingjays.

with anger seething through his bones he ran to the back corner of the district and destroyed it, he smashed it with a rock as much as possible, he smashed it to pieces. his eyes welled with tears as he smashed it away and his remembrance of his brother was brought to. every memory of coryo was being burnt through his mind.

he looked up, locking eyes with coriolanus snow as he saw his blackmail smashed to the ground. “hello, brother” sejanus said, smacked their shoulders together as he walked passed him. “brother is more than blood isn’t it. the blood of your brother won’t be on your hands anymore” and he was gone as fast as he was seen.

with a new, broken, burnt up heart.

[thepenandthepistol]

Fragile Machinery (Mumbo x reader)

This has been a long time coming. You've felt his death being sown through the land in every failed trap attempt and close call. With a single mistake, you are helpless in preventing it.

A/N: Honestly, did not know I had this fic in me. I was already kinda sad and pissed with some other stuff and watching Mumbo explode has made me a little sadder than it has the right to. Haven't watched everyone's pov so player positions are probably inaccurate. Reader and Mumbo aren't platonic or romantic in this, but are the secret third thing. Also reader is an avian. Again. (1270 words)

Art by @/YongyiMoon on Twitter and dividers by @saradika-graphics

You thought Mumbo was finally safe. For the last few weeks, you’ve followed him like a shadow, dark wings and hood obscuring your face like a damned shade. Most people haven’t chanced a hit at Mumbo, not after Jimmy’s stunt and your subsequent presence. Thankfully, that’s given you the chance to parse out the competition, the dark green names and their hideouts, your neighbors, above and below. From the distance, wild shades of pink fly in the air. Lizzie’s set of lives calls to you from your place atop the highest of Mumbo’s bridges.

You hear him sit beside you, but don’t manage a word; there’s a silent type of dread in the air, the type you’re afraid to speak into existence. He looks you over, and despite all the unease, the sweet smile on his face drips through the cracks of your tough facade. You recognize it now, the emotion. Terror.

“We need to get you another life.” The only thing you can get to leave your mouth is the obvious. You steady your trembling fingers at your side before encasing his hand. It’s gentle in a way you’re not experienced in being.

“We will. We’ve got my mace. From here on, it’s smooth sailing.” His eyes crinkle, and his goofy mustache draws upward from his smirk. 

“You can take one of mine.” The phrase leaves you before you can word it in a less desperate way. The warmth from Mumbo’s hand only partially eases the chilling anxiety that races through your veins. He looks at you and can only frown. “Get another kill with the mace, and you’ll be back to green. Besides, if anyone here should try their hand at fighting, I think I’m our best bet.” Silence follows.

“No. I- Genuinely, I don’t think I can do that.” He says it, laughing almost. Like the thought of sacrificing yourself for him is some unthinkable deed. 

“Alright... I’ll help you get your kill, then.” This is your promise, and it weighs so much heavier on his shoulders than it should. It’s new, this type of arrangement. He could only recall being taken seriously through faint memories of another life, even then surfacing only in death.

He rests his head against your shoulder, and you pretend not to cave into docility, your gaze still like a hawk’s, following the rats below.

The next day, preparations start early and eat into another evening. As the air cools with the sun’s descent through the horizon, you trail your friends from above. Grian talks casually with Etho and BigB, but he often glances up at Mumbo upon the wall, betraying his unease. No one suspects your dark form in the pitch black sky above until a trivia bot glides down and you dash behind the taller cobble pillar with Mumbo. 

“I can’t hit anyone from here.” He checks around the corner and down into the commotion. An idea strikes you and paints a mischievous grin on your face.

“I can help with that.” You suddenly yank him into the air from under his armpits and hover over the clearing. Mumbo goes limp in your hands but then tightens his grip on the mace once again. A green heart glints from a speck on the ground, and with a nod from Mumbo, you let go. 

A bone-breaking crunch reverberates as you hear your friend’s victory cries. You zoom out to join them through the castle’s front gates as the others yell out in shock. Mumbo runs for his life, but even in the chaos, you clearly see his heart stay the same forsaken yellow.

With a glance behind you, the terrible realization catches up. Gem’s body. You dropped him in the wrong spot.

The entire way home is spent in an even worse silence than before. Mumbo laughs it off, but your mind can picture it so clearly now. His own body, bloodied and cold. 

You begin fervently building the tower alongside Grian. Its threatening presence is a small reprise from the vulnerability of defeat. You run your fingers along the cool deepslate and look out onto the meeting room.

Skizz and Mumbo are messing with a trivia bot, pushing him around while he boops and bleeps. Scar makes his way down the mountain, obviously up to no good, and steals Skizz’s bot. He rows off the platform in his little wooden boat, and you scoff at the absurdity. Mumbo looks up at you, and it only takes a second to send you both into laughter. Skizz drops into the water below after Scar before Grian can yell out a coherent answer to his bot’s question.

You can’t really believe it when you feel levity in the air. The sun begins setting one last time, but you, Grian and Mumbo, move around the tower, now turned turret, and make shots at the people on the ground. It’s incredible how a killing machine can inspire such giddiness, but finally, there is hope. There’s more than hope. This thing is bound to kill someone at one point. Its range and the recklessness of the teams in traversing the mountain assure you that if not green, Mumbo will go back to a healthy yellow. 

Faraway cries draw your attention back downward as a massive group stands right in the traps danger zone. Your eyes shine with wonder as you turn back and face Mumbo. He takes a step back hesitantly, and Grian questions him without losing sight of Gem, ominously standing in the middle of a past crater.

“Jimmy’s there as well.” Shit. Restlessness returns to your stance as the perfect chances make their way up the cherry wood stairs and leave range one by one. 

Instinct drives you to fly into the air. Straight up into the cloudy, dark sky, leaving a gust of wind in your wake. Mumbo looks up at you with furrowed brows before you dive toward the crowd. Like a bullet, piercing the space between you both, your arms quickly wrap around Jimmy. The others present jump back in surprise as you take off just as quickly as you arrived. Eyes focusing on those pink braids, you brutally knock Jimmy’s flailing body into Lizzie. She stumbles into a puffer fish trap, giving you all the time you need to safely get Jimmy into the air, outside the blast radius.

The sun begins to rise behind the turret; time seems to slow. Grian woops and yells from the tower’s parapets. He eyes you with mirth in his pupils; they dilate as he places the explosive minecart, and Mumbo sends it chasing its own tail to power up. Lizzie has decided to go for the worst course of action and climb back down into the dead center of the craters from past failed attempts. 

Your wings are heavy as you fly overhead while Jimmy continues to struggle in your grasp. He doesn’t seem to have a sword, and the blunt cobble he uses to scratch your talons is only secondary to the relief of Mumbo’s eventual kill. 

He smiles, wider than you’ve ever seen him, and in a single distracted moment, Jimmy manages to land a hit to your wings. You yell, more from surprise than hurt, and catch a glimpse of Mumbo pulling out a bow and arrow, taking the stance to shoot, putting his foot back just barely on top of the powered track. 

Your yell is bloodcurdling. Mumbo hears the minecart stop at his side. Terror fills his eyes, and in the split moment he has, he reaches a desperate hand out toward you. 

[sequinsmile-x]

Backfire

Three Thanksgivings in the lives of the Hotchner family.

-x-

Hi friends, this is the third and final (for now) part of my Thanksgiving fic Backfire.

This got a little sadder than I initially intended, but I don't think that will surprise anyone.

This week has been...rough. But as ever I am grateful for this community and the distraction it provides from real life <3

-x-

Words: 3.7k

Warnings: Grief/Loss of a parent

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Somewhere along the way, Thanksgiving had become her least favourite holiday. 

She’d felt the tension it brought the moment she woke up, torn from sleep by her hungry one-month-old, the baby girl demanding her attention almost constantly. Eliza was a clingier baby than Zachary had ever been, something that Emily would have once called impossible, and she was exhausted.

She yawns as she lays Eliza down on the changing table, a smile flitting across her face at the sight of the outfit, that had been bought by Penelope, that she was about to dress her daughter in. The swirling writing and cartoon turkey on the onesie so cute it made her ache. 

Mommy & Daddy’s Little Turkey.

“You’re going to hate me when I show you these pictures in about 14 years, sweet girl,” she says as she picks up the outfit, rubbing the soft material between her fingers, “But you’re going to look so damn cute I don’t care.” She feels a rush of love sweep through her as she slips Eliza’s arms into the onesie, her heart aching at how cute her daughter looks. She picks her up and rests her against her chest, “You are the fucking cutest baby on the whole planet.” 

“Don’t curse in front of the baby.” 

She turns to look at her husband and smiles, rolling her eyes at him before she adjusts her hold on Eliza so he can see her outfit, “Am I wrong?” 

He chuckles as he walks over, his hand on Emily’s lower back as he leans in to kiss her. He then stamps a kiss against Eliza’s head before he pulls back to look at them. 

“I stand corrected, she is the fucking cutest.” 

Emily mock gasps, “Don’t curse in front of the baby.” 

Aaron shakes his head at his wife, but his response is cut off as the doorbell rings, quickly followed by Jack’s voice, the 11-year-old’s excitement clear.

“Mom, Dad, Aunt Jessie and Grandpa are here!” 

She hears two sets of feet thundering down the hallway downstairs, Zachary always on the heels of his older brother, the 4-year-old always copying his every move. 

Aaron feels Emily tense in his arms, her shoulders tight as she holds Eliza impossibly closer. He kisses her forehead and cups her cheek to make him look up at her. 

“Remember sweetheart, we don’t have to do this. We can just send him home.” 

She found Thanksgiving challenging when she was at her best, something that she definitely did not currently feel. It was the only holiday when they got together with Roy, who still tried to undermine her or make comments towards Aaron at every opportunity. Emily hated it, the tension the man brought into her home enough to make her skin crawl, but she put up with it. Her love for Jack and her desire for him to be happy and surrounded by family who loved him far outweighing her own dislike for a man who made a point of being actively rude to her husband. 

Aaron had checked more than once if she still wanted to go ahead with Thanksgiving as planned. He’d even asked her that morning, his arm around her shoulder as she fed Eliza whilst it was still dark outside, a serious look in his eyes as he said he’d uninvite Roy at any time, right up to the moment he stepped foot on the porch. She’d insisted she was fine, that she wanted things to be as normal as they possibly could, but as she watches the clock tick closer to the time Jess was supposed to arrive with Roy, she wonders if she had made the right decision. 

Not only was Emily only a month post-partum and still getting used to having a newborn again, the four years since she’d done all of this with Zachary feeling like both a lifetime and a blur all at once, but it was the first holiday since her mother had died. 

Emily was working when it happened. Regulated to the office at almost 8 months pregnant, her bump pressed against her desk as she looked over paperwork she was struggling to focus on. Her phone screen lit up with an unknown number, and dread she still didn’t understand flooded her veins. Her instincts that something was wrong kicking in before she even answered the call and listened as a stranger whose voice she’d never forget told her that Elizabeth was critically ill. 

Aaron had been away on a case at the time, something she knew he still felt guilty about as if him being at home would have changed anything. He’d flown back to her as soon as he could, putting her and their family above his job, a lesson he’d learnt the hard way with spilt blood and tears. He’d held her hand as she made the decision to take her mother off life support, the roll of her baby girl in her stomach feeling displaced against the repetitive beeps of the machines around them, and her mother’s cold hand. 

Emily wondered if things would feel different if her relationship with her mother had been a good one. If they’d had the type of relationship she knew she had with her children whether she’d feel different. Grief was complicated, she knew that, it wasn’t linear or easy. But she sometimes thought her chest wouldn’t feel like it was hollowed out if she had more good memories of her mother to fall back on, if all of her favourite moments with her hadn’t all happened since she’d become a mother herself. Elizabeth may never have been the mother Emily wanted or deserved, but she was an excellent grandmother.

On some level, she was jealous of the relationship the boys had with Elizabeth, an emotion that made her feel so guilty it made her feel sick. She wished that she could miss her like Jack and Zachary did. They had no complication in their grief, no caveats. They just missed her.

Emily was angry. Furious that her mother had been capable of being the person she’d needed all along, and sad that Elizabeth had never chosen to be like that for her. She missed both who her mother was and who she could have been, the old adage that ‘two things can be right at once’ as infuriating as it was correct. 

She sighs as she shakes her head, “No, we can’t send him home, honey. He’s Jack’s grandfather, it’s Thanksgiving,” she turns her head to kiss his palm, “We can’t send him home. Plus, that would mean Jess would have to leave too and I love spending time with her, and so do the boys. And she cooked the turkey this year so we’d have no food.” 

He smiles at her and leans in to kiss her softly. He knew that she was making the decision she thought was right for everyone other than herself, her own comfort was always her last priority. He doesn’t want to argue with her though, and doesn’t want to push her when he knows she’s already more delicate than usual, something she wouldn’t thank him for pointing out. So he steps away. 

“I’ll go let them in,” he says, his smile so loving it warms her from the inside out, “You come down when you’re ready.” 

She nods and smiles gratefully, turning all of her attention back to Eliza the moment they are alone. She smiles at her little girl. 

It may be her first holiday without her mother, but it was also her first with her daughter and she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could. 

“Come on Eliza,” she says, kissing her temple, “Let’s go see the grumpiest man to ever exist,” she pauses, smiling to herself as she kisses her daughter again, “And before you ask,” she says as she starts to walk out of the nursery, “I don’t mean Daddy.” 

___

“That was the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve eaten in years,” Roy says as he sets his knife and fork down on his plate, turning his attention to Jessica, “That was delicious, Jess.”

“It was so good Aunt Jessie,” Zachary says, smiling as he sinks back into his chair, making his parents laugh as he rubs his belly, something he’d clearly picked up on someone else doing. 

“Thanks, Zach,” she says, smiling at the young boy she considered her nephew just as much as Jack before she turns to Roy, “And thanks Dad, I’ve never cooked a whole turkey before so it was quite the learning curve.” 

Aaron smiles as he puts his arm around the back of Emily’s chair, taking a quick peak at Eliza who was fast asleep against her mother’s chest, “We really appreciate you cooking, Jess,” he says, “I don’t think we could have managed it.” 

“Oh don’t worry,” she replies, “You have a new baby and have to chase my nephews around, I can handle doing the cooking.” 

Roy mutters something under his breath, but Emily doesn’t quite catch it because Eliza starts to cry, the brief reprieve she’d given them so Emily could eat, all be it one-handed whilst she held her daughter, is already over. 

“Oh sweetheart,” she says, already moving to stand up so she pace, the movement one of the few things that soothed her, “You’re okay.”

Jack stands up too, beating Aaron to it, as he offers help, always keen to be the best big brother he could be, “Do you need me to go get one of her pacifiers, Mom?” 

She sees a flash of something across Roy’s face. It’s an echo of a moment a few years ago when it was Zachary’s first Thanksgiving, his tiny face covered in mashed potato as she tried to wipe him clean, and Jack’s innocent comment aimed at his younger brother, the name Momma slipping past his lips without real meaning. He’d still called her Emily back then, the use of the moniker for his little brother’s benefit more than anything, the then baby on the brink of saying his first word. 

Jack had switched to calling her Mom a year ago. It felt like it had happened overnight, something that felt natural and wonderful all at once. He still called her Emily in front of Roy, something she knew he did to prevent his grandfather from getting upset, all of the comments he’d made over the years always lingering in the back of his mind. The empathy her eldest was capable of never failed to blow her away, his kindness so much a part of him that she sometimes worried one day it would be something that people would take advantage of. It’s a slip-up Jack doesn’t even seem aware of, his smile soft as he looks at her. 

She looks back at Roy, and watches as Jessica stares at her father, a fierce look in her eyes that has almost no effect. 

“That would be lovely, Jack,” Emily says, turning her attention back to her eldest son, wanting him out of the room before anything was said, “The clean ones are in the kitchen,” she says, and Jack nods before he runs out of the room. Emily looks at Zachary. Usually, the frown on his face, the one that made him look identical to Aaron, would make her smile, but it makes her chest get tight, the thought that her son was picking up on the tension in the room enough to make her cry, “Zach-”

Her attempt to get him out of the room, to distract him by suggesting he go to the den and played with his toys, is cut off by Roy. 

“What did he call you?” He asks, his jaw tight as he glares at her, and any usual defiance she has against the man is nowhere to be found, the crying of her baby in her arms, the absence of her mother and the usual jibes she’d throw at the man, setting her on edge. “How many times do I have to remind you that you’re not his mother?” 

It was something that had come up time and time again over the years. Roy’s desire to keep his daughter's memory alive so misguided he didn’t realise he was going against what she’d wanted - for her son to have exactly what he had now. 

“Roy,” Aaron starts, his protective instincts kicking in, but he isn’t given the chance when Emily cuts over him

“You know what, Roy,” Emily says, shaking her head at him, a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob catching in her chest, “I don’t have the energy for this. I need to go feed my baby,” she softens when she smiles at Zachary, “Want to come with me to go feed your sister?” 

Zach nods, slipping out of his chair and walking over to his mother, avoiding eye contact with everyone else as he reaches her side. Emily adjusts her hold on Eliza to make sure she’s secure against her with one arm and she reaches down to hold Zachary’s hand. She leads him out of the room and she doesn’t look back. 

Aaron wants to follow her, but he knows she wouldn’t want him to, instead, he folds his hands together in his lap and looks at his ex-father-in-law, anger he hasn’t let himself feel in years bubbling in his stomach. 

“You couldn’t just leave it alone this year?” Aaron asks, his eyes stern as he stares at Roy, “She lost her mother a couple of months ago.”

“How long has Jack been calling her mom?” Roy asks as if Aaron hasn’t spoken, staring him down. It reminds Aaron of when he was a teenager and accidentally got Haley home after her curfew, the traffic on the way back from the concert they had been to worse than he’d anticipated. Roy was furious, yelling at Aaron for making his daughter late, for making him worry about her, and Aaron had promised it would never happen again, and that he’d always keep Haley safe. 

It was a promise he’d broken without meaning to, the shattered pieces of his already tenuous relationship with his once father-in-law destroyed beyond repair. 

“For a long time, Dad,” Jessica answers, sighing as Roy turns to look at her, “He’s called Emily his Mom for over a year.”

Roy frowns at his daughter, “You knew?” 

She scoffs, “Of course I did,” she says, shaking her head, “I babysit all the kids, I love them all. And unlike you, I can see past my own grief over Haley to see how happy Jack is.”  

Aaron smiles gratefully at Jessica and then he sighs as he turns back to Roy, “I know it’s difficult for you. But Jack came to this decision himself, he also wanted to make sure he did his best not to call Emily ‘Mom’ in front of you so he didn’t upset you.”

Roy all but growls, his frustration clear, “She is not his-”

“She is my mom.” 

They all turn to look at Jack, the pre-teen standing in the doorway with a pacifier in his hand, his grip on it tight. Aaron stands and steps towards his son.

“Jack-”

“Mom was my mom too,” he says, cutting off his father as he crosses his arms over his chest, “But so is she,” he adds, pointing towards the stairs, “I don’t remember Mom, Grandad,” Jack says, shrugging his shoulders, “I miss her but the only things I know are what you and Dad and Aunt Jess tell me. Emily…Mom is the one I remember. She’s looked after me and she loves me. And that’s what a mom does,” he frowns, seemingly unable to stop now he’s started, the words he’d wanted to say since he was too young to understand them spilling out, “And you have to be nice to her, and to Dad, and to my brother and sister or I don’t want to see you anymore.” 

His words settle around them and Roy sighs, “Jack, I’m just trying to make sure no one forgets your mother.” 

“But no one has,” he says, furrowing his brow, looking so much like Haley that it makes the three adults in the room ache, “Dad is always telling me about her and you are. And even Mom does even though she only met her a couple of times,” he adds, watching as shock washes over his grandfathers face and he sighs, feeling some of the anger in his chest go away, “She asks Aunt Jess and Dad for stories so she can talk to me about her too.” 

Roy looks at Jessica who nods, her lips pressed together, “It’s true.” 

He sighs as he shakes his head, “I’m sorry,” he says as he looks at his grandson, “I didn’t know.” 

“You never asked,” Aaron says firmly and Roy nods, clearing his throat as he avoids eye contact. Aaron looks at Jack and smiles at him, “Why don’t you go find everyone else? They’re probably in the nursery.” 

Jack hesitates for a moment, but he nods, turning and leaving the room as quickly as he’d entered it. Aaron looks over at Roy and sighs, his hands on his hips as he looks him up and down. He’d always allowed his anger when it was aimed towards him, partially because it felt like a punishment he deserved. A penance for failing Haley and by extension Roy, But he also allowed it because he knew Roy was grieving, that he’d lost his daughter in a horrific way.

It didn’t take an FBI profiler to realise he was overcompensating to make sure he didn’t lose anyone else, his anger and his short temper were side effects of so desperately trying to cling on to what he had left of his daughter. 

Her memory and her son. 

“Look, Roy,” Aaron says carefully, “I can’t imagine how difficult it is, and I know we don’t particularly like each other,” he looks over at Jessica who smothers a chuckle with a fake cough, her eyes on the ceiling as she avoids looking at him, “But we both loved Haley, and we both love Jack. Surely the fact he’s happy, which is what she wanted, should be enough.” 

Roy is quiet for a moment before he stands up, blowing out a steady breath as he nods slowly, “You’re right,” he says, clearing his throat, “It should be. And I’ll try to make sure it is going forward.” 

Aaron smiles and relaxes a little, some of the tension in his shoulders finally easing, “Thank you.” 

Jessica laughs again and shakes her head at herself when both men look at her, their eyebrows furrowed, “I’m so sorry,” she says, clearing her throat, “It’s just…wherever Haley and Elizabeth are right now, I know they would have got such a kick out of Jack telling you off, Dad.” 

___

Aaron sighs as he closes the door behind Roy and Jess, briefly leaning his head against it before he makes sure the locks are in place. 

“Long day, huh?” 

He turns to look at his wife and smiles at her, opening his arms for her to slip into his embrace, “Long day,” he repeats, kissing the top of her head, “Where are the kids?” 

“Eliza is sleeping, and Jack is reading Zach a book,” she says, smiling up at him, “So we might have 5 whole uninterrupted minutes to ourselves,” she says with enthusiasm as if she was talking about a lottery win or a luxury cruise, “Want to snuggle until someone needs us for something?” 

“With you? Always,” he says, cupping her cheek and leaning in to kiss her before he leads her to the living room. They sit on the couch together and she settles into his side, breathing him in and letting his comfort wash over her, “You ok, sweetheart?”

She shrugs, because she’s really not sure how to answer the question, “I guess. I don’t know. She would have loved watching Jack tell Roy off.” 

He chuckles, “Jess said the same thing,” he tilts his head to look at her, “You heard everything?” 

She nods, her smile turning sad, “It was sweet. Zach heard too, and he asked me if it meant Jack was his real brother,” she says, her heart aching when Aaron sighs, his eyes closing as he shakes his head, “But I reminded him about Haley, how she was Jack’s first mom. He understands it all as best as he can.” 

“I wish it was simpler sometimes,” Aaron says as he opens his eyes to look at her.

“I know,” she replies, reaching up and pushing his hair out of his eyes, “But if it was simpler, it wouldn’t be our family.” There’s a cry from upstairs and Emily groans, leaning forward to press her forehead into Aaron’s chest. “That girl is relentless.” 

“Wonder where she got that from,” Aaron mutters and Emily pulls back to look at him, her eyes narrowed.

“What did you say?” 

“I said, you stay here, I’ll go get her,” he says quickly, kissing her forehead and standing up. 

She shakes her head at him as he leaves the room and sinks back onto the couch. She sighs as she looks around the room, her gaze locking on a picture from when Zachary was a baby that is framed and on the coffee table. In it, Elizabeth is sitting down with Jack on her left and Emily on her right, and a tiny little Zachary in her arms. 

Emily picks it up and she traces her finger over the edge of it, smiling sadly at her own reflection that she can partially see in the glass. She looks at her mother, at the joy in her eyes, the happiness she would have once joked the woman was incapable of and she chuckles, her vision going blurry as tears gather in her eyes. When she speaks, it’s quiet, a secret just between herself and someone she isn’t even entirely sure is watching. 

“Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.”

-x-

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[v0id-bl0gs]

Since David Jenkins has (basically) officially confirmed 'Our Flag Means Death' will not be getting a third season, I've been thinking about it a lot and that thinking has made me emotional and thoughtful

It makes me so sad that Max decided to end the series and even sadder that no other streaming platforms decided to pick it up. 

Out of the new upcoming queer trinity (Good Omens, OFMD, and WWDITS), OFMD has made me and many queer individuals feel truly seen. OMFD showed pure beautiful queerness, acceptance, and love. How people can metamorphosize and be their authentic true selves. It had many relatable characters whether they were related to because of their extremely real flaws, their identity, or their journey and fleshed out characters they became throughout the show. 

Though the queer community is becoming much more normalized and represented than it has in the past, it's still so impactful to see characters with they/them pronouns or dressed in drag without anyone questioning or batting an eye. It's also so wonderful that this show was made up of so many queer characters, but none of that queerness was made a plot point or a spectacle.

As an artist myself, I'd also like to show some appreciation to the costume design, the set design, the writing, sound, music, lighting department etc. etc. These people were who made the show possible and who made the show just that much more special. After watching both seasons, I found out that they were given a much smaller budget for the second and I was just truly blown away (however also upset with whoever decides the budgets) how they were still able to create such an extraordinarily beautiful second season. (I admit that I go back and watch Calypso's Birthday episode several times for every single reason I've mentioned in this little rant)

We need to support shows like this, and I applaud renewasacrew and its members for all their work put into doing just this, even if it didn't work out in the end. I encourage any aspiring creatives to work together, work hard to get your ideas seen and heard because we can have even more beautiful and impactful shows following in the footsteps of OFMD. 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈

[imagitory]

Okay -- so my visual aids for this post are very limited since Disney+ will not let me properly screenshot this and there are no good quality versions of this on Youtube anymore...but I need to talk about Disney's The Little Mermaid TV series for a second. Specifically, one episode very near and dear to my heart called Metal Fish, which features a human explorer going down in a fish-shaped submarine to the bottom of the ocean, getting stuck, and being found by Ariel and her friends.

Now honestly, watching the episode again, there's a lot I don't love about it. Sebastian's whole subplot with the crab scouts is really kind of annoying, and I skip every bit of it. But I love the character of Archimedes (even if he never appeared in the show again! Boo!), and -- more importantly to today -- there's this wonderful moment right toward the beginning of the third act of the episode where Ariel and our human explorer lay eyes on each other for the first time, and there's just this electric connection.

Something that bypasses words -- this sense of wonder, enchantment -- almost enlightenment. And is it surprising? No! Ariel is the spitting image of what the human explorer had in his mind, when he was dreamily sketching out what a mermaid could look like, back on land.

And of course, at the end of the episode, what else should the explorer end up being named, but Hans Christian Andersen? And what else would he do, after being rescued by a mermaid, but use it as inspiration for one of his most famous fairy tales?

Okay, yeah, admittedly Hans Christian Andersen was a much sadder and more dysfunctional brown-haired human being IRL (just watch this video for a nice deep-dive about this disaster gay/bi/honestly-maybe-even-romantic-ace)...not to mention he wasn't even half this dashing nor close to being vocally similar to the great Mark Hamill...but one thing I absolutely love about this episode, and the aspect I personally respond to most, is the choice the series' creators made to have their interpretation of Hans Christian Andersen and Ariel have a very striking visual similarity, as well as similar personalities.

Many theorize that the original little mermaid was a self-insert character for HCA, with his fairy tale being a fantastical lament about the one-sided love he felt for the son of his most significant patron, Edvard Collin, who -- like the mermaid's prince in the original -- fell in love with and chose to wed another. There's even preserved correspondence by HCA where he writes of his feelings for Edvard being "those of a woman." And although this is more likely about HCA struggling to express romantic feelings that felt out of place in the very religious, heteronormative world he was a part of than about HCA himself identifying as transgender, I still think it was such a sweet little gesture for this episode to highlight Ariel and HCA seeing themselves in each other.

And this is where I wish SO MUCH I had some good quality video so I could truly share this piece of the episode with all of you -- because the moment where Ariel and Hans see each other for the first time gives me such life.

When Hans first sees Ariel, he's lost for breath, and he sounds and looks almost bereft when she disappears from view. When Ariel first makes eye contact with Hans, she clutches her face and hair, almost as if seeing herself clearly for the first time. And the whole time, they're looking at each other not fully face-to-face, but through glass and water -- almost a reflection of each other. Because...they are.

I'm sorry, I fail to articulate how utterly beautiful this is. No love story could ever capture the emotion this short scene instills in me. A platonic connection so powerful that it transforms you and how you see yourself forever. Meeting another person and, in doing so, truly knowing yourself for the first time.

However much I might praise The Little Mermaid TV series primarily for its music, there are also moments like this that remind me how wonderful Disney's adaptation of Andersen's story really is.

[epione-xx]

❝ ROMANCE BOOKS ❞

just a disclaimer! This is written from Damian’s POV, enjoy loves <33

My girlfriend had always been way into romance books. Whenever I asked she said it was something about the that made her feel warm and lllfuzzy but I never knew why I didn’t get the same effect as she did, was it because romance wasn’t important to me? Because I was a guy? Because I didn’t have to worry about being loved as a child?

It never hit me, no matter how much I asked…that was until the third time I did and too this day I remember the conversations vividly.

The air smelt of vanilla, her favourite scented candle that lit up the room with a caramelised glow. I remember holding her close to my body and stroking her hair as the pitta, patter or the rain hit the window.

“Beloved?” My favourite name for her, my only name for her.

And yet she only replied with a hum, too tucked up in another romance book to care as I looked down at her and asked.

“Why do you like romance books so much? The fates soulmates? The..cute. Moments between them?”

And her eyes looked up at me, book placed back down on her chest as she gave me a smile and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.

“I like the so much because I like being loved”

It felt like someone had taken my heart out of my chest and squeezed it, I looked down at her in a new light…a sadder light. I knew she had always had trouble being loved, feeling loved…unspoken words had proved that to me…but hearing it out louder…it made me feel sick.

And then I pulled her closer and shifts so that she wasn’t under me, my eyes looking directly into her own as she giggled, thinking it was hilarious that I could move her so easily.

“Beloved” I said seriously, leaning into my arm which was next to my head. “Look at me” and so she did, she did with the same bright eyes and smile as she lulled her head into my touch.

“I love you, so much” a thousand words couldn’t describe how much I loved her, how badly I wanted to hold her and wish her demons away even if I had a million of my own.

And she looked up at me with her same smile but slowly it turned more greatful, more…sad, even.

“I know Damian..” she leaned up, her warm forehead placed against my own as she cupped my cheek “and I thank you every single day for loving me”

I pressed a drawn out kiss to her nose and the finally one to her lips before pulling away “there’s never a need to thank me for loving you, I would do it no matter what as you are mine beloved, my soulmate”

[ginnymoonbeam]

Okay so I will ADMIT that A Boss and a Babe was kind of a mess in the back half, plot-wise. What's most frustrating is that with a few fairly minor changes it could have all flowed together fine and not required this sad little disclaimer in front of what's about to be a post full of praise.

BECAUSE

I don't know what to tell y'all, I still love this show very very much. Looking back at my notes from the GMMTV 2023 showcase, this is one I wasn't even planning to watch, because it looked super cutesy and I'm bored by the "cold-hearted boss meets sunshine employee, learns how to smile" trope. I don't remember what got me to try it after all, but I can tell you the exact moment I really sat up and took notice: it was near the end of ep 1, when they do a classic "bump into you at the door and you half-fall into my arms" bit. Cher's eyes in that moment are doing SO much - there's the comic shock you expect, but underneath there's this startled vulnerability and a bit of awareness that falls just shy of arousal. I was intrigued.

Book as Cher was giving a layered performance from the beginning, making it clear that there's a lot more going on than just a chipper intern, and as the series progresses we get to see how much darkness he's covering with that upbeat energy. The script wobbles but his performance, and the full sense of Cher as a person, stays on point and rock-solid throughout. He's one of my favorite characters to come out of this year so far, and that's a highly competitive field.

Gun balances Cher perfectly. He was never cold-hearted, just sad and lonely and resigned to staying that way. It's Cher's relentless optimism that wakes him up to the possibility of happiness, but once he's awake it's his steady certainty that becomes an anchor against all Cher's anxieties. He's older, he's experienced, he knows himself and what he wants, and that enables him to make space for Cher to run in circles until he can finally settle down by Gun's side. I've talked before about how their dynamic feels like dancing, and I stand by that, even if the writing of the final third took them through some unnecessarily convoluted steps.

Some BLs are just romances that happen to be about two boys, and some feel distinctly queer, and ABAAB is the latter. Gun and Cher are both recognizable types: the older sadder gay man who holds himself back from life because he's learned to expect loss, and the staunch "ally" who hasn't yet clocked his own bisexuality. And then there are the side characters: Three and Zo, a longterm happy couple who act as a model for what Gun and Cher can hope for, and Porsche, the ex-turned-best-friend. When I talk about recognizable types... the ex to bestie pipeline is SO REAL in queer circles and you never see it in dramas. Porsche's whole introductory scene had me crowing with delight. (I also loved the implication that Porsche and his new boyfriend have some kind of open situation, and that his and Gun's different feelings on exclusivity were one reason they broke up. Again, SUCH a real dynamic.)

What can I say? My love for the characters and relationships is big enough to overshadow most of the plot problems: I really loved this show. It made me happy (almost) every week, and it's going on my rewatch rotation for any time I want to smile.

[starclast]

INAZUMA ELEVEN: LETS PLAY FOOTBALL!!! ⚽🔥

Well, well, well...it feels a little weird to do this 😅 But anyway, lets start from the beginning.

Waaaaay back between 2013-2014, a new season of the Inazuma Eleven anime was airing. It was the now *well-known* Inazuma Eleven go galaxy season. Back then I kinda had heard the name *Inazuma Eleven* but didn't actually know or have seen anything about it (except from a parody/reference in another anime I saw before, but I didn't notice it until many, many years after 😮).

I wasn't really interested in a sports anime (because I'm not really interested in sports in general but oh well 🙄), but for whatever reason, I decided to give it a chance. I watched an episode, it was one pretty far already into the series (like 30 or something I think 🤔) so of course: I didn't have context at all of why were kids playin football against some bird aliens and showing off powers like if this was the Power Rangers 😶 But still, the bright colors and charismatic characters made me...actually kind of enjoy it!!? 😲

In any case, I decided to watch a few more episodes. Since I was pretty late into the season, I didn't have the backstory of the different team members and the reason why we where here in the first place, but overall, still enjoyed every episode 🤗 Sadly, at some points the episodes stopped comin to me so I couldn't see any more of the story 😢

Years passed and I pretty much forgot about the series (it was during this time that I actually learned about the existence of the original series and its characters tough ☝) ...until recently. You see, since last year I've been following a youtuber called: Rangugamer. It was actually tanks to him that I could finally watch the whole game of No Strait Roads (NSR) so I started to watch some of his other series too, then I noticed that Inazuma Eleven was one of them. At first I wasn't really interested in watching it but since I was pretty bored that time I decided to give it a chance.

The start was a bit rough because the story was pretty slow and the characters at hand didn't have that much of a charm but, as episodes went on and more jokes started to land better because of a better understanding of the characters and...out of hand dark humor 😅 ...I kind of started to like it! Similarly to what happened to me with Asagao Academy, since I barely knew anything about these characters, I could enjoy the weird out of character jokes and such that Rangu made every time and before I could notice it, I finished all his gameplays from the original saga!!! 🤗

And so, now that I had finished it, I decided to draw and show some of my favorites from here! 😄 (P.S: I drew most of them out of memory so some mistakes here and there may be found 😅)

First, lets start with no other than the captain itself: MARK! The prime reason why the gameplay series became so popular and more enjoyable overtime. Even if the *real* Mark is a lot more innocent and kind, its funny how Ran!Mark stills feels in the realm of canon whenever it comes to his adoration to football...Now I cannot her the word *FOOTBALL!!!* any other way 🤣

Jude is one of the few that I recognized before actually starting the series (what can I say? he is just so recognizable 😐). Since the very first time I saw him, I thought he looked silly with those goggles and cape...and to my surprise, he became my absolute favorite 😳 Poor guy had just suffered so much 🤧 ...both in canon and Rangu's version 😅 Sadly, this first try to draw him doesn't do him justice at all so, I'll try again and again until I feel satisfied with it 😤

Tooooriiiii!! 😆 I like her simple yet charming style and her endless cheerfulness. Definitely I would get along with her in real life 🤗

Shawn is a cutie. his backstory is sad (and it feels even sadder in the anime from what I heard 😢), but still he managed to move forward. Its a little sad he lost relevance in the third part of the story, but its okay, he already gave us a lot in the time he had 😊

Erik was...sadly not even present for most part of the story, so I missed a lot of his original backstory 😅 Still, his little problems with Sue during the second game and his *Oliver and Benji* moment in the third one where pretty enjoyable so, I wouldn't mind knowing more about him 😄

And finally, Shadow. The poor guy isn't even relevant to the main cast itself, but I simply love his design too much to let it just slide 😉 Besides, his *Kevin x Shadow* moment in the first game and the double Shadows situation in the second one made me laugh like crazy the first time I saw them 🤣

I'm currently still watching the go series so I may do more like these soon enough!! 🤗