#this is like a poem i think my life is like a poem

[iz-star]

Fun fact: I reached Zayne's affinity lvl 125 yesterday at the same time that I got Absolute Zeal and Silent Poem. I haven't been able to listen to his "Warm Heartbeat" yet bc with AZ and SP I already had too much and I'm overwhelmed in the best way possible ahaha.

I just think it's so funny cause it's been too long since the leaks of his affinity were posted online and back then I thought to myself "Goshh I have a long way ahead to reach that affinity" and it's just so hilarious that now that I've reached it, the hornee got multiplied x 3 to the point it kinda got a bit overshadowed 😵‍💫

Also, I gotta say that I love the name they gave to Zayne's 4 stars card "Silent Poem" because it reminds me to one of my favorite songs ever in my mother language that it's called "Vamos a hacer un silencio" which roughly translated means "Let's make a silence" and it has a lot of interpretations, some say it's about self reflection and contemplation 'in silence' but it very much can also be understood under a sexual and intimate context. The music is pretty sensual and romantic and I've always thought about it like how when you're with someone you truly love you can reach both a state of deep physical and emotional connection ❤️‍🩹

"Let's make a silence,

let's see each other's skin,

let's make the heaven bleed,

let's make it ours in earnest..."

Personally, I've always related this song to Zaynie for two reasons:

1._ it's pretty romantic and passionate

2._ Some of its lyrics can be interpreted about how having sex might be innapropriate if looking at it from a religious point of view (like for example, before marriage or in a homosexual relationship), like "Let's make the heaven bleed" which reminds me of Astra's personal beef with Zayne's love life LMAO.

[foggysilverfeathers]

Hi so remember this post

I might have done something

The wonky line style is a bit different to what I usually do but I think it works with the collage style of the poem!

The lovely poem of course by @.mumblesplash!

Extras under cut:

I purposefully tried to keep each panel simplistic and fairly stylised, so this is what each one represents if unsure/curious:

Weapon/skill: skynet, limited life

Plant: Skizz’s warped vine Hermitcraft starter base, with the dandelion being sort of connected to the literal symbol of hope in the centre/background/main panel

Discipline: Team TIES, limited life (can. can you tell what my favourite life series skizz pov is yet)

Easy to lose: Double boogey kill, limited life

Have/take: affirmations, limited life

Something you make: team BEST, Last Life

Willpower/spite: snails, wild life, specifically the numerous deaths Skizz endured at the hands of

Weaponise love: Heart foundation, secret life

Shield: no particular moment, but a TNT explosion in the life series, most likely off skynet in (you guessed it) limited life

(Cautiously tagging @mumblesplash but feel free to ignore this!)

[gothic-lottie]

Happy New Year!

Here's my artist's year in review:

I finished Beating Some Sense Into You at 66,829 words, 30 chapters. I started writing it because I felt alone, hopeless, and exhausted and it kinda stayed that way, that is until chapter 14 when I decided to try and draw again after months of being too sick. When I got on here to post the first picture, I never would have guessed how many amazing people I'd meet.

Before I talk about book 2, I just want to appreciate everyone I've gotten to know in this fandom (whether or not we've drawn each other's characters) I love you guys so much. My life is genuinely so much better with y'all in it 💜💜💜

Making Some Sense of This currently has 52,936 words and 26 chapters published, 68,305 words and 34 chapters in my WIP doc. It's been such a healing piece to write and the fact that anyone (Desi) has kept up with it every week is mind blowing to me.

I will be posting an update on books 2 and 3 soon btw

I have three chapters that were especially art intensive that I want to highlight. I used poems for all three because I really didn't think my usual writing could capture the feelings I was trying to express. I'm very proud of all three, both visually and narratively.

I'm so sure the resolution will get killed on these so if you want to see them they are Invictus (b1ch27), Carthusians (b2ch11), and Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep (b2ch12)

I'm also really proud of my backgrounds. I never thought I would be good at backgrounds but like… look at them! (They're still free for anyone to use if you want to. If you can't find one of my backgrounds and want to use it, just DM me and I'll send it over)

Last but not least, my misc other art. From Sewing, to chainmail, to drawing I'm really happy with most of what I've done this year.

[the-gangaridaean]

Relationships between God and Devotee are not monolithic

Something I've been meaning to discuss is how people have different relationships to gods, and thankfully, coming from a South Asian background, I've seen the full diversity of that in play.

The Sufis, yearning for a glimpse of their 'piya', positioning themselves as pining lovers of God. Amir Khusrau writes, "خسرو نظام کے بل بل جایا، محی سہاگن کینئی ر موسی نینا ملائکہ۔" — "Khusrau, coming close to Nizam, has become his (newlywed) bride by just a glance." While Khusrau addresses Nizamuddin Auliya, he directs the poem towards God. An aunt of mine believes that when you love God so ardently, prayer and ritual become mere suggestions. Furthermore, Bulleh Shah writes, "ਰਾਂਝਾ ਰਾਂਝਾ ਕਰਦੀ ਨੀ, ਮੈਂ ਆਪੇ ਰਾਂਝਾ ਹੋਈ। ਸੱਦੋ ਨੀ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਧੀਦੋ ਰਾਂਝਾ, ਹੀਰ ਨਾ ਆਖੋ ਕੋਈ।" — "By chanting Ranjha's name, I have become Ranjha. Don't call me Heer anymore, there is no difference between me and Ranjha anymore." Referencing iconic lovers of Punjabi folklore, positioning himself as Heer, and God as Ranjha, he postulates the yearning for Divine Union.

The Bhakti movement emphasises multiple sorts of relationships with Ishvar. Shaktas revere Devi as a Mother, Shaivas revere Shiva as a Teacher, Vaishnavas revere Vishnu and his avatars in different ways. Taking Krishna as an example, Meera Bai writes "प्रेम की माला जपते जपते आप बानी में श्याम, साँसों की माला पे सिमरूँ मैं पि का नाम" — "I have chanted and chanted the rosary of love, till I become one with Shyam (another name for Krishna), and in every breath I will remember the name of my beloved (Krishna)." Meera Bai is the prime example of mādhurya bhāva, or the romantic relationship with the divine. Surdas writes "नंदलाला, तुम्हारे बिन सूनी लगती गलियाँ, तेरे हाथ की छन-छन में बसी हैं ज़िंदगियाँ।" — "Nandalala, the streets feel empty without your presence, when my very life is in your little hands." He channels Yashoda, Krishna's adoptive mother, a mother who misses her child. This is vātsalya bhāva, or a mother-child relationship.

While I cannot find if anything similar existed in Ancient Greece, partially because I'm not looking too deep into it right now considering it's late for me, I do not think why it should be a, for the lack of a better term, "marginalised" practice. There is nothing nonsensical about devoting yourself so ardently to a god that the feelings you feel are almost like romantic love. The Church is 'married' to Christ, Sufis are 'married' to Allah, certain Hindus are 'married' to Krishna. I don't see why the same practice is seen as 'weird' or 'cringe' when pagans do it. I don't see why it isn't considered normal, especially with deities associated with Love, Sexuality and Romance, such as Aphrodite, the Erotes, Dionysus and (somewhat) Apollon.

I consider myself a child of Aphrodite, but I do not mean I'm her literal or spiritual child. She's my mother the same way Yashoda is the mother of Krishna, the same way Tara is the mother of Ramakrishna Paramhamsa. The practice of godspousing is not entirely different.

While yes, I do understand that some people may not think of their relationship with the gods on a deeper level, and few still parade their title as a 'god's spouse' to feel better about themselves, or for the, for the lack of a better term, 'uwu' factor, if that makes any sense.

In Conclusion

This is my personal take on the matter, and while I understand people from a Western background may not see it the same way I do, I am simply correlating two concepts I've found pretty similar. Feel free to discuss, and also feel free to send any resources my way which you think I should read up on. Choosing to be an asshat, however, will put karma on your ass and I will be an asshat back before blocking you.

[repressionmd]

hi!! this looked so fun and was honestly such a confidence boost i hadnt realised that 1. i'd written so much and 2. a thousand kudos and three hundred bookmarks is SO many. wow. thank you to everyone you've made my last couple of months so amazing <3

(specifically last couple of months because i only started writing in. mid september 😭)

here's a little overview of my fics in chronological order :)

let's not linger around another day: canon divergence from s3e22 when wilson is on speed and in house's apartment: what if they kissed?

this fic is so special to me for being inspired by a chance interaction with someone who has become such a close friend (shoutout @defibrillism for restarting my writing career), for being the first thing i wrote for house and for the honest to god overwhelming reaction i got for it. like. i was expecting nothing and got.. this.

like. what in the world. life changing. stunning. im still in awe.

2. i'll wait for your love: wilson gets sick and has a raging migraine, and house comes to help. (also wilson accidentally confesses his love and house reciprocates not realising wilson is semi-lucid and also they share a bed eventually. because why not <3)

somehow i posted this literally the day after the first one. how did that happen. HOW. the power those old men had over me... (well. my headmate. but still)

3. this thing is supposed to be give-and-take: house accidentally goes too far and hurts himself and calls wilson. in which i ruminate on wilson's depression and his relationship with house, and how house is cruel (whether purposefully or not) through actions but wilson uses words.

this fic has my favourite lines i think, out of all of them

He focused on bandaging House's arm, making a mental note to refill his car's first aid kit. It was basically House's first aid kit. He never used it for anyone else. Either way. Needed restocking. Because this could happen again. It probably would. Because you just proved, again, that you'll get up whenever, go wherever, and come to fix him. Because he refuses to get actual help, so you're left to pick up the pieces.

also i just loved writing the dialogue for this. they're really raw and honest with each other and for once, house is on the back foot. i think its absolutely fascinating that house knows everything about everyone except wilson. wilson can keep shit from house like no one else.

and it took top spot in my heart over the kutner lives fic purely because it genuinely came to me out of nowhere and i had such fun writing an evil ending >:)

4. the sun-filled god of love: wilson, in a softer universe, shares a piece of his recovery with house.

another one i was overwhelmed by the response for! i was genuinely debating even sharing this one with friends because it was so close to my heart but you guys are all so kind <3

5. why don't we talk about it?: kutner lives! in the same universe as 'the sun-filled god of love', in which he doesn't quite work out the timings properly and his suicide attempt is paused by a convenient phone call from his disgruntled boss.

this fic makes me feel a bit sick with envy asjgk. it's a GOOD ending for my favourite guy ... i was so nervous to write something in kutner's voice but i really leaned into uh... suicidality. don't read into that. this year was. tough for me. and it was so healing to write this, and i'm so glad its helped other people <3

bonus fun fact the title is from this poem, and refers specifically to the elation from feeling like you do not want to die anymore. - "why don't we talk about it? how good it feels."

6. i think my heart is ready to die: in which i fill in the blank of the drunken fight house 'doesn't remember' in s6e20 "baggage"

one of my first fic ideas, prompted when i was actually watching the scene for the first time! its one of my favourites purely because i really enjoy putting house through the fucking wringer. and his psyche is fascinating to me.

7. thinking of you: my secret santa gift for @hydraulicfluidinmyteapot! a softer little thing about gift giving and gay chicken to round off the year :) featuring more accidental on purpose bed sharing !!

tagging whoever wants to do this :)!!

my ao3 wrapped! tagged by @greghousebignaturals, template by @spicedrobot

2024 was my first year of getting back into writing fanfic since literally 5 years ago - and I only got back into it in the second half of the year (and I'll still be posting more stuff before 2024 is over lbr)

very briefly, these are the House fics I wrote this year, in chronological order:

Kill the Mood: Hilson try doing doctor roleplay during sex (and fail)

Bonk: Wilson gets a concussion :)

Don't Touch Me: Wilson hates physical contact and has a bad time

inappropriate use of hospital technology: House sends Wilson a dickpic and trans!Wilson jerks off about it

acting like a tough guy: House avoids Wilson on Valentine's Day (Wilson is very endeared by this)

sleep(less): Wilson is sleep deprived to the point of hallucinating a week after he started dating House

Slow Blink: Wilson is turned into a kitten. House is confused by cat body language

ow: trans!Wilson has period cramps

oh, and one more thing: Wilson gets hurt, House mother hens him, Wilson is a little shit

Want/Deserve/Receive: Wilson starts dating House and freaks out because he doesn't feel like he's allowed to be happy

the truth I chose to bend myself around: House accidentally takes truth serum. Nobody believes him (wip)

Tie Me Up, Pull My Leash: Wilson bets House to wear a tie and then tugs on it like a leash and they make out about it

I'm tagging @itooaminthisepisode and @oldmanffucker and @coffins-and-marbles and @defibrillism (if you wanna)

template below

[mistyechoes]

im just as bad as before aren't i. but worse

[causticflower]

“—and the love you are made of.” (and I love you because you are love)

@lovesick-x-prince what if i cried. HUH.

[the thing causing big emotion]

[horreurscopes]

i like my body when it is with your body.

[shadowsingercassia]

Thank you for the tag @anarchiii !! ❤️

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

I haven't posted anything on AO3 and I don't think I have an account either but that's only because I have no idea how to use it 😂

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

25! (If I counted correctly)

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Well I have a series that I stopped updating so that's one (?) and a part 2 to a fic I have so... that makes it 2 (I think...) 🤔

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

So I have two 🙂 (a little bit of rambling):

First is my The Gate To Home series! It was everything for me, I really don't know how I got through it and even if I hadn't prepared it properly so many people loved it and supported it until the end (I love you all smm ❤️)

Second is The Day Hope Died! This fic has a special place in my heart because when I'm having a hard time, I write and this is the only fic of those that I had the courage to post. The feelings there, the angst are a representation and a reflection of my own that day (I'm alright now for anyone wondering!)

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I think that Genuine Poetry is a type of fic that I don't usually write and that is purely because of the poem I put in the fic (I had never written a poem in my life before that)

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

So Masked Christine of the Opera surprised me with its ending, I was not expecting that plot twist to settle into my mind though rereading it, it's not great, but the rest of it is very special to me 💕 another thing I was surprised to see when I finished writing it is that I actually wrote it in third person and I hadn't even realized 🥲

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Again it's Masked Christine of the Opera, I really loved writing it and I'm going to say it, it's a great fic although the ending is a little bad (I really had thought it was good 😭) it just has my heart ❤️

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

I really have a lot of artists that have inspired me to make my own art (even if I'm still a beginner) and for that I want to thank @dawneternal and @freyjas-musings

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

Alright I will yap so bear with me:

@scorpioriesling all your fics are incredible, I absolutely loved Too Hot To Handle and I actually binge-read it in September and I wanted to say I'm obsessed, same for the Invisible String and all your other fics! 🫶

@velarisdusk your fics are... mwah 💋 I don't even know where to begin your writing is amazing and truly I love you so much! This tag game was probably my sign to re-read all your fics 😂

@illyrianbitch I love each and every single thing you write, if I could have them injected into my veins I would do it ��� (I'm also very glad you're doing well now 🥰)

@azrielslittleslut you quite literally inspired me to write an Azriel x reader fic because of how well you capture his personality 💙

@azrielsdove your fics mean everything to me, I've read each one twice and I'm planning on reading them all again ❤️

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

I've been on Tumblr for a little less than a year I think (me and my alzheimer that I don't actually have) but recently I have discovered @thelov3lybookworm (I know you are not a new author but I'm obsessed with your Lucien week fics and im currently reading all your other fics too!!)

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start

No, I haven't done any

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

In my writing, reading my first and latest fic, I'm proud because I've grown but I'm also proud because I had the courage to start so shoutout to my first fic Stupid Headache (you will always be my baby) 🥰

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Dont take it seriously (like in a way of dont view it as a competition). That's the most important thing I've learned. When I started, which was long before I got Tumblr (like when I was a teenager I wrote my first short story) and I took it so seriously, planning things obsessively, which is the reason I actually lost my passion but now I found it again and I'm very grateful for that 💞

14. What is your advice?

Well, I really don't know any good advice, I mean I'm still learning things everyday but I think my biggest advice is what I previously said, don't take it seriously, it's not a competition

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I want to try and create an OC and maybe start writing more ships and less x reader but mostly I just want to write, that's my goal, not to give up on writing :)

note: again, thank you @anarchiii for the tag !!

no pressure tags: @really-fanny-longbottom @illyriassweetheart @azrielsdove and anyone else who wants to do this!

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

Thank you so much @velarisdusk for the tag! 🫶🏻

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

I don't have anything published on AO3 simply because I still don't know how to use it even though I do have an account. But here on tumblr, it's 92.878

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

49! I've never counted them before and never realized just how many they were omg

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

Ongoing only Bound By Secrets. In progress apparently 10? I thought I had 3 WIPs. I completely forgot about the other 7 lol

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

UGH how do I choose one? A Helping Hand has a special place in my heart because it's the first fic I wrote and posted. Night and Days is one of my favorites because I love the banter between Azriel and reader, and I also have to mention Say My Name because omg I loved writing that one and I know I might be biased but I was giggling and kicking my feet while writing.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I'd say the first few things I wrote rather than one in particular for the simple reason that in Italian I tend to write very long sentences because it's normal, but in English sentences are usually shorter so it took a bit to get into that mindset. As for experimental, I'm trying to write a fic from two povs at the same time, sort of like an omniscient narrator. We'll see how it turns out.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

Many fics surprise me while writing because I don't plan them out that much other than a few things I want to happen and then I see where the story leads me. As for reception, Bound by Secrets. I didn't expect so many people asking for a part 2! (I'll write it, I promise)

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

The Path To Healing and on a happier (and smutty) note Alcohol and Giggles. I cried writing the first one and laughed writing the second one.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

I love every single fanart by madschofield and elizianna.the.one!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

@writingcroissant was the first author I found on here, the literal reason I created an account was to read her fics, and @illyrianbitch was the second. I love everything they write and it made me want to write again.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@shedoessoshedoes and @duskandcobalt! I'm going to read all of your fics so don't be surprised if you see me in your notifications for the next few weeks 🥰

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start

Nope, no collaborations.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Kinktober! I decided to do it two weeks before it started and didn't think I'd be able to write all 31 one fics but I did it!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

When I started posting, I kept opening tumblr every five minutes to see if there were any new notes/comments/etc. Now I don't do that anymore. I still care about people enjoying my content of course and any kind of feedback is always super appreciated, but I don't need to continuously check to know that my writing is valid and good even if I get only a few likes.

14. What is your advice?

I'm the wrong person to ask this to, but I guess write what you like and what you want to read. I know it's basic, but never before I realized just how true it is. Feedback and appreciation for your work is awesome, but you have to be the first one to like it or it's probably going to turn out bland if you push yourself to write something you don't like or are not interested in.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish working on all those WIPs apparently lol. And I have an idea for a series that I want to work on as well.

No pressure of course, but if you'd like to @azrielslittleslut @anarchiii @shedoessoshedoes or anyone else who wants to do it!

[stickmenyaoi]

about absence; presence. Lover; Warrior

Inspired by.

[stil-lindigo]

the parade.

a short comic about when love dies slow.

support me on patreon

Things you may have missed:

[stardotnet]

yes, there will be singing

[thehermitsacedia]

Le sang coule à longs flots de sa poitrine ouverte ; En vain il a des mers fouillé la profondeur ; L'océan était vide et la plage déserte ; Pour toute nourriture il apporte son cœur. […] Et, regardant couler sa sanglante mamelle, Sur son festin de mort il s'affaisse et chancelle, Ivre de volupté, de tendresse et d'horreur.

The blood runs in slow waves from his open chest In vain has he plumbed the depths of the seas The Ocean is empty and the shore deserted To provide food for all he offers his heart. […] And, watching his bloody breast drop On his death-feast he sinks and staggers Drunk on pleasure, on tenderness and horror.

-Alfred de Musset, La Nuit de Mai

[maybe-itsforthebest]

- j (x), tomorrow

[quaranmine]

i think the whole cringe is dead, radical sincerity, depth of genuine emotion, earnest effort, and unironic love thing that tumblr has going on the past few years has transformed my outlook on things and changed me for the better. but it does mean that now the people i know irl will give me strange looks for being too sappy or too poetic or too dedicated or too excited about about something because they're still stuck in their "well i only like this ironically" phase. guess that's their problem tho not mine <3

[zytes]

neucypher