#this is like a poem i think my life is like a poem

[tea-tuesday]

this is the first time using a hobonichi weeks and i'm really enjoying it!! many a thoughts below......

i bought my 2025 hobonichi weeks planner a few weeks before it started so i decided to experiment with layouts and styles in the back for the last few weeks of 2024. you can really see the evolution from the week of Oct 28 to the week of Nov 18, e.g., how i went from one highlighter color (purple) to a whole system that i'll be carrying into 2025 :))) the colors i chose for the week of Nov 11 were so ugly that no one will be seeing that lolol. one issue is that i still don't know what to do with the empty page on the right side. i did a reflection on nyc one week but i'm not always in a reflective mode (i also do reflections on my life in my vent journal). i tried the alastair method but it usually takes me multiple weeks to complete a task. it was still helpful to see what i eventually need to do so i think the right side will be a very fluid system that changes based on my needs week-to-week. for now, i've been keeping an ongoing "interest log" and writing down quotes and poems that speak to me that week. i might implement a mini habit tracker too since i'm not great at maintaining my daily habits

my "aesthetic" goal for 2025 is for my planner to look as used and loved as possible! i'm not much of an artist nor a memory keeper (i have my 5-year planner for memory keeping) and i don't like keeping receipts but i made a better effort at preserving cute stickers and things from cafés and bookstores and other places (but only if i think they look good hahah). i also want my stickers and washi tape to look cohesive but it's a little hard for me because i operate on vibes (both artistically and generally) and never took any art classes or anything so idk if anything will look as "aesthetically pleasing" as i want it to. the only thing that saves me is my neat handwriting. but! my ultimate goal is to not be so hard on myself about how my planner looks since it's meant to be a functional tool. i do think i'm doing a good job on keeping it true to myself and my life 😎

anyway that was my ted talk and thank you if you made it this far!! qs for anyone who wants to answer: what is your 2025 lineup? are there any things you're bringing into 2025? what's your planner philosophy? i'd love to know !

[katerinaaqu]

Finished Chapter 14 of The Song of Achilles and like you I already found one change that gets on my nerves. Why is Odysseus now the Prince of Ithaca? When he was already King by the events of the original poem? What was Madeline Miller’s purpose in demoting him from King to Prince?

This better have a payoff or else… without Odysseus being King I feel his 20 year absence from Ithaca has less serious consequences. I think without him being King of Ithaca, his wife’s suitors wouldn’t be so eager to replace him.

Well I will start with what me and other classics readers say, that Miller is extremely biased with certain characters and that shows in her writing (true she writes in a very beautiful way and has great expression but still...) so certain characters are depicted positively and others negatively (no surprise or news there) and she writes in a feministic way so certain characters in the background are bound to be disregarded or worse changed. However most people have come to know that her writing of characters is really inaccurate or that it comes straight from her imagination (see for example how in order to get her romcom aura we must see a "homophobic character" aka Thetis who acts almost as a villain, we see the stereotype of star-crossed lovers like Achilles and Patroclus (which is a trope she uses by combining elements from the original but ignoring the character development of others in order to fortify her message) etc.

That being said, Miller's style seems to me like she uses SOME elements of the original, blasts them out of proportions, altering it to be more simplified to fit a romcom setting and re-writes the rest to fit the characters. I am not 100% famliar with her books given how I haven't read them in the full but I have seen stuff around and read some passages so take this hypothesis with a grain of salt but this seems to be the case to me. So in this case it is clear that Miller doesn't see Odysseus in a very positive light (given what she goes with to her other novels as well) so yeah her trying to lesser his importance or the status in the story seems more than just a possibility to me.

So here goes my reply, sorry if this is long:

In this case she seems to take advantage of the fact that in translations there is no distinct difference in the text between the word "prince" or "king" in the homeric text (both are being stated by the term άναξ (anax->wanax, from mycenean greek as well) and is being used to speak on the ruler that has under his command the ships and the army. That is to be said some of the commanders of the greek army had living parents back home and Odysseus was included among them. It seems like Laertes was in a way retired since indeed Odysseus seemed to be a king in his own right, in fact Penelope even insinuates he had been so for a long time, given how she tells Antinous the story of his father who arrived to the palace begging Odysseus for his own life, possibly implying that Odysseus was a ruler of his own right more than 20 years prior, possibly before Antinous's birth or during Antinous's childhood or infantry. On the other hand some people seem to separate his father from Odysseus by naming Laertes "King of Cephallenians" and Odysseus "King of Ithaca" aka that technically Laertes is the king of the entirety of the kingdom (Ithaca, Cephallonia, Acarnania etc) and Odysseus's juristiction is Ithaca. Personally I do not fully support that last one given how Odysseus is the only one who seems to be in charge even if Laertes is still alive. It seems that the tradition in Ithaca was a bit more family-like in terms of ruling and the king retired from his duty because of age, letting the younger and more capable son to rule (potentially Laertes is an exception and gave the authority to Odysseus because he thought he was more capable ruler than himself. Odysseus possibly proved his worth during the internal conflicts with the Taphian pirates or in conflict in Messinia [when he received his bow in his youth as a gift])

It also seems to be backed up by how by n large they got married within the kingdom (Eurylochus is from the same kingdom, from the small island of Same and marries Odysseus's sister Ctimene, the suitors of Penelope all come from within the kingdom from different principates and regions). Laertes and Odysseus seem to be exceptions to the rule since Laertes marries Anticlea, daughter to the great thief Autolycus who lived in Parnassus and Odysseus who married Penelope from Sparta) So it seems that the kingdom is more like a "family business" than actually some kingdom with expansive or military construction (unlike Mycenae or Sparta) so it doesn't seem impossible that there is either a tradition for the old ruler to quit and pass the throne to the next generation rather than wait for his death to pass authority or that if one did it wouldn't seem impossible. It also seems that other kingdoms are not necessarily the same as modern kingdoms either. Icarius is still alive when the events of the Odyssey take place. We don't know if Tyndareus also is alive or not, from what I remember, in Homer's writing so it is not clear what kind of rules exist to that realm. Could it be also that the ruler is not only of age (able to grow a beard aka around the final 20s or early 30s) but also marriage that gets them ready to rule? Like Menelaus is a ruler of Sparta by marriage, Odysseus rules as a sovereign ruler because of his marriage? It could be although again the suitors of Helen were often called "kings" in literature, it doesn't seem to be the case given how most of her suitors are either young (Ajax, Menelaus, Antilochus was also mentioned or even Diomedes in some sources even if the two of them would be literal children at that time) or sons of existent rulers let's say Odysseus. So it is possible that marriage AND coming of age play their part in succession. It gets a bit confusing as well since Odysseus leaves order to Penelope that she has to wait till her son is of age (when his beard grows) to pass him the throne, if he hasn't returned till then. Does Odysseus imply that his son would rule if he was of age, regardless of his death or is he implying that they first have to confirm he is dead before Telemachus takes over? It is indeed an enigma but then again the case of Odysseus is complicated; he goes to a war that he doesn't know if he is gonna return from and according to some readings and traditions, he was repared to be off for a long time as well from an omen he heard so his case with Telemachus seems to be an exception rather than the rule given the extreme conditions they deal with.

Either way yeah it doesn't seem that Odysseus is not a ruler in his own right in any shape or form in the Iliad or the Odyssey despite the fact that Laertes was still alive throughout the entire process. Either because it was a consistent tradition or because Laertes made an exception, it seems that Laertes was not an active ruler by the time Odysseus left for Troy and as I said it seems that Penelope implies Odysseus was already a ruler capable of giving pardon to someone (Antinous's father) or command armies (Taphian pirate incident, Messina, Troy) so yeah it doesn't seem that Odysseus is considred "a Prince" like for instance his brother-in-law Eurylochus or the Suitors and their families but he seems to be a king in his own right; he is the one who has the duty to send away the suitors; he is the one to command the army and he is the one to call the counter-attack in the Odyssey against the retalliation of the families after the murder of the suitors and not Laertes.

So to close this already long answer yes among the many changes Miller imposes in her book to fit her narrative, it seems that she takes advantage of modern day perspectives of rule and succession (aka the sovereign ruler's death before the other takes over) plus the fact that there is no distinct word between king and prince in the ancient texts to call Odysseus "a Prince" possibly to decrease his status (similar to how ancient writers mentioned Odysseus not being legitimate son of Laertes but a bastard son by Sisyphus) so yeah it does seem like it as you said given how Miller doesn't seem to be fond of Odysseus as a character. But that would be my hypothesis. Either that or Miller simply doesn't want to consider a different rule of succession than the modern one she and her readers are familiar with aka a king becomes king only after his father's death. Which is ironic though given how many people mention Odysseus "a king" even if they know or possibly because they forget Laertes is still alive.

Hope this helps

[the-ineffable-dance]

Thinking of Nanny

A narrative poem for the weekly GOetry prompt, from Warlock's POV

My life has always seemed to be like a revolving door

Of teachers, coaches, servants, too, and oh so many more.

They swirl though my memory, their faces come and gone

But always there still remains alone a single one.

My parents were both quite busy, I didn’t see them much

But Nanny, she cared for me with cold words and gentle touch.

She was strict, and quite severe, and taught me many things,

Of war, death, famine, pestilence, and how I would be king.

And every night when I lay down, she’d sing me straight to sleep

Then after I had drifted off, a watch o’re me she’d keep.

And then, one day, she wasn’t there from my eleventh birthday

I never got to say goodbye before she went away.

-

It’s several years now since she left, but she’s often on my mind

For though she was so very stern, I know that she was kind

A business trip to London Town found me in St. James Park

Where He was sitting feeding ducks, all tall, and thin, and dark

And there wasn’t a single doubt about who it could be

This fellow sitting on the bench was certainly Nanny.

I don’t know how I recognized the person sitting there

So different from how she used to look but still with flame red hair

In my heart no single doubt had I so I went to see

If my old Nanny possibly could remember me.

At first he didn’t notice, he was so lost in thought

With ducks milling at his feet, eating the peas he brought.

-

I sat down on the bench next to the man Nanny had become

He glanced at me with sunglassed eyes, he looked so lost and numb

But then he smiled with her smile, with the smile of a rogue

And spoke just like she used to do, in her clipped Scottish brogue

“Well look at you, I’d never think that I would see you here.”

I was so nervous when I said, “You’re Nanny,” in his ear

“And you’re young Warlock, all grown up.” 

                                                                           “Not all grown up just yet.

But Nanny, please just call me ‘dear.’” 

                                                                           “Yes… as you like, my pet.”

“I’ve not seen Brother Francis in oh, so very long.”

Nanny turned his head away, pursed his lips and said, “He’s gone.”

“Oh… Nanny, how he fancied you, how ever could that be?

I was so very young back then, but even I could see.”

-

It took a moment for his reply, but then he said real low,

“He didn’t have a choice, you see.  I know he had to go.

But even knowing doesn’t help this fear that’s left inside

That we never could have made it work, even if we’d tried.”

He cleared his throat and straightened up, emotions locked away

“Don’t listen to me, dear. I’m glad to see you here today.”

He touched my cheek and looked quite proud, and I smiled wide

And just like that for a little time, we sat quietly side by side

Nanny I have many questions, was what I want to say

Where have you been, why did you leave, and why couldn’t you stay?

But as I watched him sitting there, one thing I realized

Fate had brought me here today to catch this fleeting prize

-

“Nanny, do you think you might find time to visit me?

It would mean so very much, but only if you’re free.”

My words took him by surprise, I watched as his breath caught

It seemed to touch him even more deeply than I thought.

“I’d like that, dear,” he finally said. “And now my name’s Crowley.”

I smiled and nodded, but in my heart, you’ll always be Nanny.

@isiaiowin @goodomensafterdark

[cupidsblonde]

story synopsis returning to your life in japan was exciting, but when you enroll back into ua university, go back to the bakugos, go back to bar tending, you find yourself always around this guy…? “sero hanta”

missin something - Zach Templar

being with your girls again was all you could ever ask for. you all sitting on the bathroom floor, your own mirrors in front of you, doing your makeup.

“okay… so” mina pausing as she finishes her eyeliner with a swoop of the eyeliner pen.

you and jirou finishing the things you where doing on your faces and looking at her.

“hm?” you hum at her

mina sighs just a little bit and starts “so… i was talking to kami earlier and he said that he and kiri will be at the bonnie” mina exclaims.

“oh that’s fun! i can’t wait to see them again i missed them.” you say

“without their third?” jirou questions

“huh … what do you mean…?” you say with an eyebrow raised.

“oh my fuck.” you say when you realize.

“i mean it can’t be that bad… right?” you mutter out, almost laughing.

mina and jirou fake laugh and then pull straight faces

”girl we love you but it’s definitely going to be awkward if you run into him.” jirou states, she says it like it’s the obvious. which it kinda was.

“buttttt it would only be awkward if you guys make it right?” mina says shrugs, going back to finishing her eyes makeup.

“your right, what’s he look like now?” you ask, curious.

now of course you always knew he was fine, he was attractive. but when you unfollowed him on everything, you did that so you could get over him.

you missed him, as a friend of course.

but when mina whipped out her phone and showed his instagram…. you where in a better mindset now. you needed to pounce on that… and quickly.

“oh my GOD he’s so fine guys” you say snatching mina’s phone.

“i hear he thinks your fine too.” jirou says outlining her lips with a dark red.

your eyes brighten. “okay i’m so pouncing on that”

you pull out your phone and search his account.

you waste no time in pressing the follow button, you hoped he would follow you back. because if he didn’t, you didn’t know what you would do.

“waiiittttt let’s take pictures so he can see you posted something.” mina suggests

“ooo yes let’s!!” you exclaim as it seamed that you all finished your makeup at the same time.

“you should do the knife pose” mina says, digital camera in her hand.

“that’s so perfect, i’ll go grab the cool knife” jirou says running out of the bathroom of your shared apartment.

”wait who’s poem eater on insta?” mina asks as she turns to jirou.

jirou just stares at you guys “did i not tell you?” she says genuine shock spread across her face

“….my girlfriend?”

“WHHHAAAATTTT” are what flows out from both

“you guys are so slow i cant” jirou says doubling over from laughter

both you and mina roll your eyes

“you should invite her out tonight!!” you say, wanting to meet this mystery girl.

“i will” jirou says dismissing your antics.

“okay let’s goooo!!” mina yells dragging you guys out of the door.

perma tag- @poemeater

taglist!!- @nobodybutnnoorr @morgyyyyyyy @eepyariiiiii @keylozinzazane

[lakisfourouklas-blog]

Letter Unwritten

Your shattered face last night in

an old photo I had seen

the eternally beloved

and I thought a letter I should write

to you the way I used to

but that wasn't meant to be.

Words would take shape in my mind

but then they'd transform into a mist

that would somehow dissipate with

the passing of the invisible sense

shuttering air as a memory we've

somehow never lived and yet remember.

What words should I speak and which

ones should I write to describe

what together we have shared,

without stealing away something of

their preciousness and lessening

their eternal substance?

How?

How shall I spell it all out?

The ink has run dry but the images

inside my head are running wild.

I went to sleep and dreamed of your eyes

only to wake up at a new spring.

Now

as I think of you

I feel you like a delirium of life

like a vindication for dreams

like the colors that painted with affection

the painting of my past happiness

a painting that now tries in vain to regain

its old greyish black self.

I think of you as light and as a shadow that

will always and for always guide my steps

to parallel worlds

almost dancing in waves

as the beautiful song of the morn

and the sweet melancholy of the eve.

I think of you as the poem of my land

which you have traversed and of my

skies which you've sculpted with bliss.

I think you so much and so deep that

I rejoice and I ache

and I want to write a letter to you

so much that it hurts

but I simply can't.

Lakis Fourouklas

[mistyechoes]

im just as bad as before aren't i. but worse

[azlovesem]

its not just those losers. Ill beat the livng shit out of everyone. Anyone. Im way way physically stronger than i look. You get my adreniline going youre done. Im chalking thrir jealousy up to anyone would be jealous of how deadly i am. God didnt choose you because you ate not worthy i am. But Emmas my buddy so far we dont know each other. I like the poems and writing bit i cant be sure thats all her. Like before assholes get in between. They call themselves religious men. Uh i hatecthose fucon assholes obviously. I dont recognize them as being representives of God. Because only i am thats why. Go get a real life priest youre geyn in my nerves boy rapists. No you are in endsngeredcwith me hwre not thebotgercway around. I think you jnow that now if yiu dont prepare to die en masse. Trumps fone thet was fake. We control the whote house now not him.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM Delicious

[horreurscopes]

i like my body when it is with your body.

[stil-lindigo]

the parade.

a short comic about when love dies slow.

support me on patreon

Things you may have missed:

[stardotnet]

yes, there will be singing

[tempestmothstorm]

Ough these are all so good may I suggest some more ideas because this post has invaded my thoughts for over a week

Act 1 is gonna be mostly normal, but there’s a few hand written pen notes in the margins making sly remarked about the cheesy writing. I think Monika’s effects can range from directly editing and redacting text to writing with pen when she wants to speak directly with you. For the experience of some rando picking up the book at a library, it might seem like the last owner just vandalized the book to write random editors notes, only for it’s comments to slowly become weirder until it’s revealed that it was write by one of the characters in an attempt to speak directly to you.

This only exists as random quips up until the final part with Sayori where it doesn’t really describe the scene but instead just had mc’s thoughts like a stream of consciousness, up until he starts repeating the word never, where it repeats into the next few pages with a single line made up with that singular word, repeating over and over until is turns into the silhouette of a hanging corpse. Only then does the reader know what happened

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

Never

And after a few blank pages, the hand writing of the previous owner appears, almost acting as if this was a silly accident.

“Geez, this draft went pretty badly! I don’t even know is where else to take this! Maybe I should just start over?”

After skipping through a ripped page, the story seemingly starts over as if nothing ever happened

This is where act 2 starts, at page 1 again under the ruse of a different draft, making the book seem like an incomplete project you weren’t meant to see. It’s starts the same as the first page, but now it’s got all that house of leaves spooks in there. Some examples or ideas include

When introducing the club, it reads something like this. Similar to house being written slightly different in house of leaves, so will Monika every time her name shows up

And ████, Yuri, Natsuki, and Monika all seem nice enough anyways.

Altered text can be in different fonts similar to the one with Monika’s name

or it could be overlayed onto of the original text, effectively making it unreadable as if Monika tried and failed to replace it

It could also look to be manually scribbled out with pen

Or it could have a whole text box covering a paragraph halfway through it, making pretty clear that the following words aren’t supposed to be there

Also more ripped pages. I think if this existed in real life the book would instantly become way more expensive lol

Maybe some of the secret poems can be in the text boxes, randomly being inserted midway through a page and interrupting whatever else was going on

I think when Yuri starts talking about the portrait of markov it’ll show an excerpt in the first act, but by the second act it becomes the blackout ‘nothing is real’ secret poem

Actually more blackout poems in general as Monika tries to censor more words. Blackout poems are cool

In more of the moments where Monika talks directly to the player like in the big argument scene or one of Yuri’s monologues where she slowly fades in, her dialogue will be written in pen instead of any typeface

Those text files like iiiiiii.txt and stuff also show up as tiny pen notes overlapping the actual text, writing over the scene but faint enough that you could probably ignore it

Those scenes where the game forgets it ever happens (like the play with me and water fountain scene) could have a paragraph get cut off by the page limit with the next page being ripped out and the next not following where the paragraph left off at all

Yuri’s death scene plays out like a normal scene where the narrator doesn’t acknowledge how insane everything Yuri says even is, until it gets to the part where she stabs herself where the text is suddenly cut off by a garbled mess of meaningless words, messed up fonts, redacted text, and several ink splatters. This goes on for several pages until Natsuki shows up for a quick paragraph before leaving, allowing Monika to enter

Yuri pulls out a knife and sta████████

I honestly don’t know how the whole deleting thing works in a book. Logictics wise the story requires a few stretches to make a book, but it could work out. I think in the story, text is the only way the characters can interact with the real world, with Monika being able to edit it herself (this implies she can’t operate a writing program the same way she can’t code. L) I guess instead of the the command panel announcing everyone’s character files being deleted, she’ll just type out that everyone died, with her writing taking over the narrator making the edits a reality.

After a few ripped pages the next empty page has nothing but Monika’s handwritten pen, stating that she’s been the one to write all those notes and that now that she can talk to you directly she’s finally not alone. What follows is a bunch of her act 3 talks, writes mostly in pen with a few things like her poem and hidden text files write in the regular typeface when making edits to the book.

I have no idea how to end this, especially since deleting character files doesn’t translate as well into a book. But yeah act 4 plays out as it does in game before, with Sayori suddenly being able to edit the book and also write with the pen too, just with different handwriting to Monika.

Monika ends up scribbling over the rest of the pages before leaving a few ripped out. The final paragraphs are on the inside of the book cover way after the copyright page where she says her final goodbyes and writes the lyrics to your reality

Ok that’s it this idea is cool

I wonder what DDLC would be like novelised. How they would transition from the cutesty façade into the horror. I could imagine the formatting of the book glitching like the game does, maybe some pages have the wrong page number, the font, color and size of the text changing, seemingly blank pages that have very faint text on them that you can only see if you look super closely, codes hidden in paragraphs, how Monika trying to break out of the story into reality would be portrayed, etc

[thehermitsacedia]

Le sang coule à longs flots de sa poitrine ouverte ; En vain il a des mers fouillé la profondeur ; L'océan était vide et la plage déserte ; Pour toute nourriture il apporte son cœur. […] Et, regardant couler sa sanglante mamelle, Sur son festin de mort il s'affaisse et chancelle, Ivre de volupté, de tendresse et d'horreur.

The blood runs in slow waves from his open chest In vain has he plumbed the depths of the seas The Ocean is empty and the shore deserted To provide food for all he offers his heart. […] And, watching his bloody breast drop On his death-feast he sinks and staggers Drunk on pleasure, on tenderness and horror.

-Alfred de Musset, La Nuit de Mai

[stickmenyaoi]

about absence; presence. Lover; Warrior

Inspired by.

[moralcandy]

fifteen things that don't come back, by charlie slimecicle:

number one. the paper airplane you and your daughter throw at your husband while his back is turned in the kitchen, the two of you hiding behind the counter as you snicker quietly when he stops humming and yelps a curse as he turns around with a faux angry expression and a poorly-hidden smile.

number two. the glass your daughter broke trying to grab it from the cabinet on her tippy-toes. you didn't look over until you heard the glass shatter against the kitchen floor, too preoccupied with grabbing the jug of cold orange juice from the fridge to notice until it was too late. golden, afternoon sunlight shone warmly on the both of you from the open window as you swept it up while she stood to the side with a sheepish expression.

number three. your husband's soft shirt he let you borrow when you said you couldn't find your own but really you just quickly shoved yours under the bed when he wasn't looking. you absently noted that it smelled like him. your lips curved into a slight smile without input. your foot shoved your shirt under the bed a little bit farther.

number four. the pictures you took of your daughter and niece, hugging eachother as they posed for the camera, the photo incinerated into ash when you blew up your house. you frantically dug through your daughter's chest afterwards, soot covering your hands as you searched for the photograph. you did not find it.

number five. your niece.

number six. the feeling of a cold glass of wine held tipsily in your hand, the waterdrop of condensation slipping down the glass at the same pace your tears did down your cheeks. you downed the alcohol until there was nothing left except a burning feeling and a lump in your throat. the bartender did not give you another drink.

number seven. your friend, the one who used to laugh hysterically with you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders before he began to scream at you while he wrapped his hands around your neck. he pushed you into the dirt, the metallic taste of blood in your mouth and the feeling of wet dirt on your skin as you absently question whether the water dripping on your face was the rain or the tears slipping down your friend's face. you know that was the funeral of your children, but you think both of the real 'you's died that day, too.

number eight. the warm, rumbling feeling of laughter in your chest as a smile hurts your cheeks, the sensation long gone. your mouth, for a moment, twitches into a small smile at the memory of the feeling.

number nine. the feeling of hands on your own, your husband's warm hands intertwined with yours as your cold, golden rings clink against eachother. your daughter's tiny hand clasped around yours as she leads you to a butterfly she found, grass brushing your ankles as you walk.

ten. the sound of your daughter's amused laughter, snorts interrupting occasionally. her head leans back as she giggles, her eyes scrunched up in happiness.

eleven. the sound of your husband's soothing voice, lilting with fondness as he looks at you. a smile absently crosses his face as he speaks, audible in his voice. you always remember smiling back.

twelve. your golden wedding band your husband lovingly slipped onto your ring finger so long ago, the one you furiously tossed into a dusty corner with particularily bad aim. you blame the poor aim on the tears blurring your vision, but it could've been the alcohol, really.

thirteen. your husband. you try to go to sleep in the center of your bed now, knowing that he won't be there. when you wake up, you always find yourself on the left side of the bed, as if you've moved in your sleep to accommodate someone. you scowl and think that your asleep self should stop being so stupid. ..you make the bed just in case he really does decide to come back.

fourteen. your daughter. whenever you make yourself breakfast now, you keep accidentally making two bowls, the muscle memory automatic, familiar, and no longer needed. you sit down at the table and set the bowls and begin to eat, but you always end up just stirring the cereal with your spoon as you stare at the untouched bowl across from you. you always end up throwing them both away. without your input, a frown tugs slightly at your lips as your pour out the second bowl but you know that nobody else was even here to eat it anyway. your eyes burn.

fifteen. your daughter, the one you know isn't the real one. sometimes you walk down those train tracks where you found her, hoping she'll be here this time. she never is. ..you still keep checking, just in case.

[maybe-itsforthebest]

- j (x), tomorrow

[quaranmine]

i think the whole cringe is dead, radical sincerity, depth of genuine emotion, earnest effort, and unironic love thing that tumblr has going on the past few years has transformed my outlook on things and changed me for the better. but it does mean that now the people i know irl will give me strange looks for being too sappy or too poetic or too dedicated or too excited about about something because they're still stuck in their "well i only like this ironically" phase. guess that's their problem tho not mine <3