#this is kind of just a vent post
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I've never understood the excitement around marriage. I've never understood the 'rush' around the idea of a relationship. I've never understood the heartbreak or annoyance people feel when they're alone for valentine's day, or when their partner doesn't give them a gift for it. I've never understood why someone would like kissing with their tongues or on the lips. I've never understood why naked bodies are sexual. I've never understood why I should feel my world shatter when someone rejects me. I've never understood why I should be expected to 'just give the relationship a try' when someone confesses to me. I've never understood why friends will demean someone by implying they just 'aren't good enough' because their friend got rejected by that person, no matter how gentle or respectful the rejection was.
I've never understood why sex and romance need to be brought up and hyper focused on in every conversation imaginable.
I'll probably never understand.
#aromantic#aro#asexual#ace#aroace#acearo#there's nothing wrong with people who enjoy romance or sex by the way#this is kind of just a vent post#i guess?#im sort of just confused about romance snd sex so thats what this is about#to be clear i dont want to experience either#im not at all ashamed to be aroace
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Accepting isolation, craving belonging
#art#digital art#comic#long post#this is kind of vent?#I don't want to be all I had a rough childhood wahh#I just find it bizarre to have so many little aspects of my childhood shape me#I crave isolation#I thrive in isolation#But I want to belong#I want to intimately know someone#and I want someone to intimately know me#This is to all the people who have loved me#even if we dont talk anymore#i love you and have loved you and i want nothing but for you to be happy#original post
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sometimes grief hits you on a random sunny day.
but having someone to share that grief with would certainly help.
#kingdom hearts#kairi#namine#kh#fanart#my art#digital art#post kh3#post kh mom#kind of a vent art tbh#also i just wanted to prove to myself that bright colours can also be associated with sad things#:) <3
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The magic of Majoras Mask is trying to comfort characters who are grieving their future through little acts of kindness. Like, the simple but layered juxtaposition of the joy of marching the chicks around on the third day to a little ocarina tune while the game vibrates every few minutes to signify that the moon is closer and closer to falling....
#snowhead rly destroyed me so have been collecting masks ever since#spent so much time gambling on dogs til i finally got a winner <3#anyway can we all agree that mm is genuinely a game about acts of kindness lmao#like one of the masks u literally just listen to the song of storms guy vent...how often i forget that actively listening is an act of#kindness in its own way 😭#entering incomprehensible posting era again just warning u all
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I argued with some random asshole on the internet a while ago and I noticed I made them feel really bad with my anger, I decided to at least get them some groceries as a apology gift because I know they struggling too, few days ago I went over to talk about the situation while calm and to properly apologize, made sure to let the person know that they don't gotta talk to me that it's ok if they don't want anything to do with me, they agreed and added me to a group chat with their girlfriend and then proceeded to berate me for the next 4 hours straight taking turns to call me names 😭 and I'll tell you what. To be called creepy and obsessed for sending the money and get berated for that too??? Like I know $50 isn't like a huge amount nowadays but it was half of all the money in my bank account at the time. And it was a tough decision to make because I am already struggling to pay rent and because I'm too disabled to work. I snapped out of it immediately, like wow no wonder I got mad at them in the first place.
The moral of the story is, don't try to fix things with the worst people you have ever met, your gut feeling was right, there's a reason why you got angry. It will only harm you and make you harm them, too, when you eventually get emotional and pissed off over how they treated you and then use it against you. Whatever you do won't be enough and taken as the worst possible thing to do. Simply fuck off. That's the best outcome for everyone that will hurt the least amount of people.
#also like#this is completely unrelated to the point but i have called them a stalker multiple times#and while talking to me they started bringing up that i have been feeling bad lately and if im still dating my boyfriend and are we happy#like what is that about?#how do you see my posts why are you asking me this its kind of freaking me out#or telling me that me and my bf are trying to be them like????????#we dont even think about you and when we do we just laugh at your dumbass in call we do not care LOL#either way this is so insane and i need to vent it out and share my experience to people because what on earth#for context i have blocked them on all social platforms so they have to be following me on burners just to keep up with me#which is definitely normal behavior#my little oniisionling incel stalker saga
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"fat ppl are so hot and bangable. fat people are sexy. i want to fuck fatties" okok heard but do you actually like us as people? do you know anything abt the fat creators u follow who share things abt their lives? how do you treat fat ppl who are undesirable to you? do you listen to us when we are screaming about the ways that fatphobia is everywhere? no not mindlessly reblog, but listen and internalize. do you take the time to unpack your biases against fat ppl? or even the fatphobia you absolutely were taught growing up? do you hold your thin/not fat friends accountable when they compare themselves to us because they dont like the way they look? do you advocate for us when people make us the butt of jokes? do you actually date fat people? do you befriend fat people? are you kind to fat strangers you don't find attractive? do you feel the need to qualify your love for fat people? do you love any fat people who arent related to you? do you respect fat ppl of all sizes? what do you consider "fat"? is it just someone with bigger than average boobs/butt? do you like fat people with small boobs/butts? does "we love bellies here" include large bellies covered in stretch marks? does it include bellies with multiple rolls and skin discoloration because of those rolls? does it include those things together? when you say fat do you mean actual fat people? do you include fat people who arent white? who are disabled? who reject the expectations of hyper femininity/hyper masculinity? when the trend of wanting to fuck certain fat ppl wears off yet again will you continue to desire us? to love us? to cherish us? do you see us as people even when we do not give you sexual access to our bodies?
#personal#this is kind of a vent#i see so many ppl rb those “i love bellies” posts or talk abt features of fatness#but decontexualized#i see so many ppl pretend to like us and like its just exhausting#and yes i know im talking about fatness a lot right now#im having big feelings and im gonna blog abt them cause i can#if u dont like it unfollow me#fatphobia#fetishization#celebrity bun
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something something
#im trying to draw hhhh#sorry if im just here and there- but ive been reading inboxes ^^ and tysm..! I bring back the same kindness to you!#sorry if all i draw is nothing but venting now- but ill swing back someday hopefully#messyr#doodle#vent post#vent art#chronic emptiness#bpd
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
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#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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It honestly baffles me that some people are so casually dismissive of animals' feelings. Istg some ppl only see pets like toys and are barely able to hide it
#vent post alert#but I'm just so frustrated#my mom's dog got hit by a car yesterday and she refused to take him to the vet#she said she doesn't have any money for it and that he's fine#physically he seems fine just bruised. I think he might have something internal but she's been very dismissive of that#anyway. he spent the whole night crying bc he was alone and terrified#I went upstairs and almost begged her to take him to the vet but she still refused saying he was fine#then she put him inside her house and he calmed down after a while#the next morning when she came downstairs to talk to me she kept being dismissive#saying he was fine in the end he just wanted attention#and I'm like yeah?? obviously?? he got hit by a car???? the poor thing is traumatized and terrified#ofc he doesn't want to be alone#and she hit me with the 'dogs don't get traumatized. he's just being dramatic'#I pointed out some dogs have psychological pregnancy so ofc they have psychological problems too#and THEN she hit me with 'but those are female dogs. males are different. because hormones' like. WHAT#this just in not only do human males not have feelings but now dog males don't either. because hormones.#I thought my mom was smarter than this tbh#istg her boyfriend is just making her more ignorant. bc this is the kind of bs I expected to hear from him but not from her#anyway I don't know what to do. I don't have money for the vet either bc I just had to pay for a surgery#we talked and she said she'll monitor the dog and if he looks like he's getting worse she'll take him to the vet#ig I'll have to settle for that#I love my mom but man. this is weird#I just didn't expect it from her#what's worse is that when it's just her and me it's one thing. but when her bf is around I feel like she gets different#like with me she agrees but then around him she doesn't?? how am I supposed to trust her that way#it's all just so weird. idk what to think or what to feel rn. I just feel bad#sleep.txt
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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regardless, i wasn't built to be alone
part of this series 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4
#[posts visceral definitely-not-vent art] anyway so how's everybody been i know it's been a little while#i just finished reading It the Book which no one should ever do probably. next up is salem's lot 👍#also been writing ocs and shit. i'm working on their character sheets but one of them is so fucking hard to draw for no reason. i hate him#anyhow happy trans day of visibility that was Not intentional on my part. this one's not even that much about transgenderism too#well. it kind of is. but it's kind of not. but it is. but it's not as well. you understand#lycanthrope#my art#art#illustration#voidpunk#comic#poetry#(sorta)#oh hey there's not even blood this time. a win
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I love being queer and I love being a mormon, but there are times when I'm just so tired.
#im really glad i found queerstake because i definitely would have left the church by now if not#i can't believe i went that long without any kind of community#i just guessed that there were other people like me because i couldn't possibly be the only one#but i hadnt met anyone yet who was queer a member and was planning to stay and i just felt so alone in this#i was actually on the verge of leaving and giving up when i stumbled across a post#i dont even know how it could have possibly crossed my path it was so random i really think god put it there because there is no way#especially in the moment i needed it that badly#it was just a part of a liveblog from a general conference that was especially rough on me and i saw the queerstake tag#because like. i dont want to leave. why should i have to i like it here i dont want to leave just because people dont want me here#and i just really want to be there and hopefully be fully out one day so that queer kids in the church can see me and know they aren't alon#but there are times when im just so bleh and tired and sad#vent#tw vent#queerstake
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Honestly I’m so glad I gave up having heroes or idols as a teenager for much less serious reasons.
I grew up with Neil Gaimans creations being a massive part of every stage of my life, from my mother reading me Wolves In The Walls, to watching Coraline repeatedly, to binging Good Omens and Dead Boy Detectives.
These stories will remain important to me and continue to inspire me, but he won’t, arguably he was never the main reason I loved most of these stories on the first place.
I love laika studios, I love david tennant, I love terry pratchett, I love the various different interpretations of the characters from the sandman universe. There are dozens of different artists who made these characters and their stories what they are. They deserve better than to have their work tainted by one man.
Multiple women have accused him of sexual assault, even his own response sounds like a confession, I believe he’s absolutely guilty.
He’s an egotistical prick and that’s the reason why he does what he does. I refuse to give him credit for other people’s efforts in art, writing, and acting. They don’t deserve to go down with him. He doesn’t deserve to take them down with him.
#kind of a vent post idk#this isn’t all my feelings and opinions on the matter this is just in regard to the media he helped create#a lot of people are acting like he’s solely responsible for these stories and that fandoms automatically support him and just… no#everyone he’s screwed over in one way or another deserves better#neil gaiman#good omens#the sandman#coraline#dead boy detectives
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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it’s so easy to forget that you can literally write whatever you want
#i think especially if you post your writing it’s easy to forget because#sometimes we subconsciously try and write reader as someone who most readers will like#instead of writing reader as#yourself for example#sometimes i feel disconnected from my own reader-insert-guy#you know ?!#i haven’t written anything with me in mind as the reader#i had this sudden realization#just now#as im writing a lil vent-y kind of fic#that i probably won’t end up posting HOWEVER#im writing the reader as myself for the first time and it’s#making me happy today#as for the vent not to worry sbshjsjdkd I’ve had this issue with an irl for a couple months now#tis all okay and well#🐇 — text !#but you can literally write so much. like if you’re nervous for something u could write ur fav offering support#if ur happy u can write them being happy w u! if ur mad u can write them telling someone off for u#u have so much freedom as a writer#love that a lot#on the other hand i can write sakura pouring milk before cereal if i wanted to#i could even make suo do that#cw vent#INCASE
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#im so sad it was such a good ask blog too but my mood has been so severely impacted by it i literally could not handle it anymore#big surprise your favorite character being put through constant and severe turmoil is emotionally damaging. who wouldve guessed#it makes me sad people are so fucking mean too :^(#<- in relation to some of the asks folks send in to guide stories along#like sure cute aggression yeah whatever but some of yall are straight up cruel for no reason. ill never understand it#i really wish i had the heart to keep following this blog bc its such a huge and beautiful passion project... but im sensitive:^(#even if its fictional#sorry to the mutual i had to break </3 wahhhh#late night personal posting. goodnight#laika originals#oh should i tag this as uhhh#vent#? kind of not really im just talking here
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