#this is just how I comprehended it and just wanted to clarify
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sea-lanterns · 9 months ago
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Navia’s strap or cock. No you cannot chose either or her fingers or anything else. Which of those two do you prefer. -🥛
🥛 anon I saw the last ask you sent about this, but I do want to inform you that this can be a bit of an insensitive question to ask imo, regarding body headcanons about Navia. (It’s actually why I didn’t answer it before)
Whether you headcanon Navia as cis or trans, it honestly doesn’t matter to me as I love Navia no matter what she has under her skirt. So I genuinely mean it when I say both is good. I pick both because neither is better or inferior to the other. I just love Navia and would be happy to take either her strap or actual cock :)
If you ask me whether I’d take her fingers or strap/dick though? Hmmmm…I’d honestly take her fingers tbh. She has some rlly long, rlly flexible fingers due to being a baker, so she can definitely knead more than just dough 😉
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paincaat · 1 year ago
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ok so i was going to shitpost about how i cant imagine alastor kissing anyone even if he wanted to cause of his permanent ass smile and i was going to include a crack staticradio visual as a joke and i got too carried away help thiswassupposedtobeastupiddoodle
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original post idea for reference of what i was actually going for
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maybe its just my aroace ass speaking but i've seen a lot of ship art with alastor in it floating around and my brain physically cannot comprehend how this bambi wannabe mf could ever kiss anyone properly while maintaining his smile??? i swear he'd either have to make the stupidest duck lips or the other person would just be kissing his teeth like he is not built for kissing
alastor might hate this but vox is definitely into it though
edit: holy shit 1k notes thank you guys
just to clarify im aware he can close his mouth and probably could kiss if he wanted to. i also think alastor would try to maintain as big of a smile as possible if he does kiss so it would still look goofy haha. i admittedly wrote this with a bit of influence from my own experience of aroaceness - i can't picture myself wanting to kiss anyone even if i wanted to (im aware it's different for everyone) hence why alastor isn't even trying to do it properly in this post
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reallyromealone · 8 months ago
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Part 2 to the rindo x male reader the succubus like ran comes looking for rindo and barges into his room to see reader and rindo cuddled up together and ran goes and tell everyone. Just thinking at how chaotic it’ll be.🙃
Title: morning after
Fandom: Tokyo revengers
Characters: bonten
Fic type: smut, omegaverse
Pairings: Rindō x male reader
Warnings: male reader, reader insert, smut, nsfw, omegaverse, au, demon au, reader is Omega
Notes: I got you
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
(Name) Was snuggly and full, the succubus testing on his new alphas chest as Rindō put a show on the tv in the corner as he rubbed (name)s hip "you hungry? For like human food?" The Alpha clarified and (name) looked dazed as he tried to comprehend what his alpha said to him "poor thing, fucked you stupid..." Rindō teased as he ordered food for them, he didn't know what the Omega liked so he got something light for him after all they just fucked for a solid four hours.
"You really managed to pick one of the most dangerous men and demon in the country, you know that right?"
"You smelled good..." (Name) Mumbled and Rindō chuckled at his adorable mates words "you smell real good too"
"Rinny, I know it's late but Mikey wants us to... Holy shit" Ran froze as he watched his younger brother in demon form snuggle up to a cute little succubus with claim marks on their necks, both looking like they just had some wild sex.
"Oh my fuck... hahaaAhHAHAA!" Ran cackled as he stumbled out and (name) snapped from his haze and looked embarrassed as he covered himself, Rindō looking annoyed at his brother.
"One moment baby" Rindō kissed him gently before going to go deal with his nosey older brother.
"How did that happen?" Ran asked while giggling and sitting on the couch "he came for a meal and I decided I wanted to keep him" Rindō said simply and ran raised an eyebrow "you decided to just... Keep him?" That did not sound like his brother, Rindō didn't just see some pretty little thing and keep them. "He's a half-blood, is a- well was a virgin and I don't know... I just couldn't let him leave"
"Half-blood? Does he know what you do?"
"I don't think he knows who I am, like at all"
The two heard the door creek open and the Omega in question stood in Rindōs shirt and a pair of his boxers "you uh... Destroyed my clothes, sorry..." (Name) Looked awkward as he fidgeted with the sleeves and his tail curled around his leg as a show of submission.
Aaaaand Ran now understood, this was exactly Rindōs type not to mention an Omega succubi so the cutie could survive Rindō.
Rindō motioned (name) to come to them, the poor thing limping as Ran tried to not laugh as Rindō pulled him into his lap "this is my brother, he can be annoying as shit but he's good" Rindō said as the elder Haitani smiled "so (name), tell me about yourself"
This is not how any of them expected to have this type of conversation, the scent of sex still lingering as Ran went to pour himself a drink and Rindō soothed his mates nerves, clearly (name) was uncomfortable having this sort of meeting right after having his world rocked.
"O-oh, well I work at my grandpa's book store and I'm in university... I'm just finishing last semester..."
"I see~ and are you aware of who we are?"
"I only realized when Rindō had me pinned..."
"He was too hungry to realize that he went into a demons apartment" Rindō added and Ran raised an eyebrow and Rindō sighed "he only took energy through kisses because he felt bad" human things, things that the brothers didn't really understand nor cared too deeply about, only really having any 'warm' feelings like compassion and care for each other and for Rindō, (name) was added due to the Bonding mark.
"Well that's fucking stupid, don't starve yourself because you worry about others feelings"
"But--"" weakness like that amongst demons and even humans will get you killed."
(Name) Fidgeted and Ran sighed "well I suppose I'll leave you love birds to it, I just came by to say Mikey wants you first thing in the morning since you were obviously too occupied to answer..." Ran shrugged and downed the rest of his drink before sauntering off, turning to look at the succubus "welcome to the family"
Once Ran left, Rindō brought (name) back to their room, still having time till they had to do their shit, the Alpha checking on their foods progress and humming "one second baby, I'm just gonna get our food" slipping on pajama pants the Alpha presented in his human form while (name) cuddled into the blankets, staring at his back while he went to the lobby.
What did he get himself into? He was just trying to get a meal and now he's got a mate! A hot one at that! And his conversation with Rindōs brother was so awkward!
He can't believe he was so reckless!
But god... Did this help considerably, he always felt a burn in his abdomen and his hunger... He wasn't hungry anymore, he felt so full and energetic.
He wanted more... But he would rather die than ask that.
"Sit up, pretty boy" Rindō said as he walked in with takeout bags "I got us wraps, I didn't know what you wanted so I just got the most popular" (name) took the wrap that was handed to him "what's next?" (Name) Asked as he bit into his wrap "what do you mean?" Rindō asked as he swallowed his food "like... You claimed me and stuff, so like what now?"
"Instinct wise you won't be able to be away from me or my scent without getting anxious... You haven't eaten right so you need to be 'fed' often till it regulates again" Rindō explained as he looked at the other with a gaze (name) couldn't figure out "you can share my bed or take the guest room..." (Name) Felt like the guest room thing wasn't an actual option and just nodded, he was a little intimidated by his new mate.
He was easily intimidated by a lot of things, he wasn't exactly the strongest after all.
Stronger than a human but definitely weaker than an average demon.
"We can work out the details tomorrow" the two finished their food and Rindō carried (name) to the washroom to brush their teeth, the demon having a few spares "what? There was a deal" he said simply when (name) looked curious at the variety pack.
When (name) woke, he let out a soft gasp as the sensation of a tongue lapping his ass, toes curling and fists clenching pleasure. Turning his head he looked to the source, seeing Rindō focused and entranced by his meal while groping and playing with (name)s ass cheeks. "Finally, you're awake" Rindō teased the poor Omega who whined, watching as Rindō bit his ass teasingly before moving to rut his cock between (name)s spit lubed cheeks "please.." (name) whined as he tried to get the alphas cock into him pitifully while Rindō just grinned sadistically.
"Come on, Omega... Beg for it"
"P-please...." (Name) Was flushed and embarrassed but Rindō didn't care as he tisked and slapped (name)s ass "come on baby, you can do better" he loved teasing the Omega already, he made it so easy! The durability of a demon and the reactions of a human~
"Please... Please um.... Put your cock in me..." (Name) Was embarrassed needy as Rindō rubbed his cock against (name)s cute puckered ass slowly, letting it catch slightly before pushing up, eventually pushing slowly into (name)s tight heat with a slow groan. Only half his cock was in as he began thrusting slowly, watching intently as his cock sunk deeper and deeper till he bottomed out. Rindō let out a sigh as (name) let out little moans and whimpers, feeling Rindō kiss bus nape before beginning his thrusts.
"Yesyesyes!" (Name) Chanted as his eyes turned completely (color), somehow the pleasure was even better than Yesterday and he was addicted to Rindōs cock.
After their breakfast the two showered and (name) got to suck his first cock.
"I gotta head to work, I'll drive you to university"
"I need to get my bag from my house...."
Rindō hummed before the two got ready and went out, stopping at (name)s apartment and Rindō was absolutely nosey while his mate collected the things he needed "ok ready!" (Name) Said happily and they were off.
(Name) Was shy as he was driven to university in a luxury car, at least a 300k car....
"I'll have someone collect you, I'll call you when they're on their way" Rindō said kissing him once more, a trill leaving (name)s lips as energy transfered "go get good grades"
Rindō walked into the building like he usually did though with an extra pep in his step, going to the executive floor to see "the fuck are you all staring at me for?"
"So how's married life?" Koko teased and Rindō groaned at the others who snickered "Ran told us all about him, limping out and looking like he was mauled" Sanzu added snarkily as they all looked at him teasingly.
"Better not get in the way of work" mochi said half teasing half deeply serious and Rindō scoffed "humans die easy"
"Oh he's not human-- well not mostly" ran added and the others looked curious "what is he? Fae?"
"Succubus, a virgin one before rinny got his claws into him"
"Holy shit"
"An Omega to boot"
Rindō was ready to die as the others gawked "damn.... That's like finding a unicorn...."
"We HAVE to meet this little one" kakucho said intrigued and Rindō wanted to die.
Hopefully (name)s classes were better than this shit.
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uglypastels · 6 months ago
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Your Logan fics have been great. I enjoy your style and how you write him. It’s so so good.
I had an idea while reading the brainwashed reader one:
Logan is on a mission to a bunker or lab or something for the X-men. Charles requested told him he had to go and help Scott. They go to this bunker and it ends up being a rescue for some mutants that were being experimented on and one of them once back at the mansion is having issues with controlling their power, and Charles asks Logan to help them. I picture the power being very volatile so Logan is there to help because he can take a hit and heal from it. Cause the reader is too scared to use the power on anyone and Charles told them he had the perfect teacher.
thank you so much!!
shoutout to @deceptive-daydreams for helping me come up with the details of this thing. had a lot of fun, as always, writing this request, so please keep em coming yall.
warnings: implied PTSD. platonic teacher/student dynamic. fire. explosions. swearing. anxiety. lots of banter and fluff.
Masterlist ~ X-Men Requests are Open
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It had been two weeks since you had moved into the Mansion. Moved in. That’s all that you could bring yourself to call it, doing your best to not think about anything up to the moment that you had been ushered inside the large building and given a room to stay in for as long as you pleased. It had taken at least three days for you to actually get out of there, to let yourself roam the halls freely, reminding yourself that it was safe. 
For you, at least. No one would harm you here.
But not the same could be said about the rest.  
You had never been fully capable of controlling your powers, feeling more like they controlled you instead. When you were held captive, it was them who held power over both. But now that you were free, it was time for things to change. That much had been clear from the second you set foot in the mansion.
Professor Xavier had given you permission to make use of the Danger Room to train as long as you were under the supervision of one of the faculty members—something that should have given you comfort but instead only formed more anxieties.
‘I don’t want to hurt anyone,’ you confessed.
‘You can’t do this on your own,’ the Professor smiled softly. ‘As with any skill, a fine mentor is the first step to succeeding.’
You weren’t sure about that, but also knew that alone, you wouldn’t be able to get anywhere anyway. 
‘Don’t worry,’ the Professor read your mind. ‘I have just the teacher for you.’
⮿
You had recognised Logan as the man who had helped you escape. Who held your hand and hadn’t let go until you stopped shaking. Who gave you soft reassuring smiles whenever you saw eachother across the corridors, reminding you that were alright here.
You knew he was a skilled fighter, but, truthfully, you had not expected him to be the one Professor Xavier assigned as your supervisor in this training endeavour.
‘Show me what you got, kid.’ He said as he took off his leather jacket, and you immediately wish he hadn’t.
‘It’s probably better to keep it on.’ You stated, wincing at his exposed skin. He looked up at you, taking a moment to comprehend what you meant until the nickel fell with recognition.
‘Right.’ He put the jacket back on and leaned against the wall as you watched him expectantly for further instructions. ‘So, what do you do?’
‘You know what I do.’ You couldn’t help but laugh at the question.
‘Explain it to me again.’ He shrugged.
‘Well… I set things on fire.’ The words came out apprehensively.
‘No. I said, explain it to me. Dumb it down like I was a five year old.’ This felt ironically hard to do as you felt like he knew more about your power at this moment than you ever had.
‘I don’t understand—’
‘To be able to control your abilities, you got to understand it.’ Logan clarified. ‘Know what it is that you’re actually doing and you’ll know what to do to keep it contained.’
Yeah, if put like that, it made sense. It also sounded far easier than it was. Understand it, and you’ll be able to control it. Sure. You thought for a moment, back to school and the damn chemistry classes you hated, but now suddenly started to feel rather useful. ‘I uhh… manipulate atoms, rearranging them with the air and heat around them to cause objects to catch a flame.’
‘That’s more like it.’ He praised, and even though it barely meant anything, you felt yourself smile at the kind words. ‘How much have you got it under control?’ But then the question and his inquisitive glare down at you made you feel very aware of your body and your mind.
‘With uhm— with enough concentration I mostly I target the right object, but once the fire is up, I can’t contain it.’ Which was the most important part. If uncontained, the fire would just spread, destroying everything in its way. That much you already knew. You still woke up screaming from the memories of the radiant flames and screaming all around you.
‘And, nothing personal, but I gotta ask, controlling the fire also falls under your division?’ He had crossed his arms.
‘Uhm…’ you didn’t know how to respond to that. 
‘Only asking because we had this kid Jonny who could control fire, but he needed a spark to start it. Maybe you two are two sides of the same coin?’
‘No, I have managed it before. But never long. It would go up and down and up again, the way I wanted it to, but it was exhausting and then I couldn’t handle it and it would all go  to shit.’ You started rambling, and just like the fires, you couldn’t get yourself to stop.
‘Alright, alright.’ Logan spoke calmly. ‘First thing we gotta do is work on you.’
You blinked slowly.
‘It’s all the same with you elemental kind. It’s all in your head. If you can’t get your emotions under control, then the fire will never go out.’
‘That… makes sense.’ You took a deep breath and thought of all things sweet and soft and calm.
‘Alright, I haven’t got all day.’ He clapped his hands, and you tried to not let the loud sound get to you. 
Let the games begin. 
⮿
A few weeks went by, and you wish you could have said you were making progress. 
No, you had to be kinder to yourself. There was progress. It just wasn’t at the pace you had hoped to reach at this point. Logan had helped you with your targeting, and you could proudly say that you had reached an estimated 98% accuracy score. The larger objects you had no problem with, but the smaller and the further away things were, the more you seemed to struggle. Which was perfectly fine, Logan reminded you.
‘You expect to be able to hit a bullseye in the dark from a hundred yards away?’ 
‘I’m sure some people could,’ you mumbled, frustrated as you watched the wrong matchbox in the near line of 4 burn to a pile of ashes.
‘Beating yourself up about it is not gonna help you, kid.’ Logan said, already replacing the box with a new one. ‘Again.’
Knowing that complaining about his training methods would not help either, you simply squinted and focused on the third matchbox, doing your best to ignore the other ones lying around. They simply did not exist. All there was, was this one stupid matchbox— whoosh, and suddenly, the box was no more, just a pilar of blue flames. In your excitement at having finally hit your target, you had completely forgotten to keep the fire down. 
‘Shit, shit, sorry.’ You did your best to suppress it, but it seemed like the fire was in a funny mood today and decided to do the exact opposite of your demands as it grew by the second until Logan had no choice but to drench it with a bucket of water. 
⮿
‘Have you gone mad?’ You stared blankly up at Logan, who–much too confidently, in your opinion– positioned himself a few paces ahead of you. A cigar in hand. 
‘It’s clear that you need some incentive.’
‘I don’t think your death wish can be called that.’ You protested. ‘I’m not doing it.’ ‘Yeah you are.’ He simply said. ‘I’m the teacher. I’m telling you to light the damn thing, so get on with it,’ he growled as he put the cigar between his teeth.
‘Actually insane.’ You said to yourself. ‘There is no way this is going to end well.’
‘Focus sweetheart.’ He did his best to look calm and composed, but you saw how his shoulders tensed as you prepared to do the task. There was so much more you wanted to say to him, but you just had to block it out. All of him had to cease to exist. All you saw was the tip of the cigar. The tiniest layer of tobacco, the–
You shrieked as Logan’s face disappeared behind a cloud of black smoke as the cylinder in his mouth exploded. 
‘Oh my god, Logan!’ You ran to him, relieved as you heard him cough. With the smoke gone, you were happy to realise that it had only been the cigar that had exploded, leaving behind the tiniest but right where Logan had held it in his mouth. The rest of it combusted all around him. ‘Are you alright?’ 
His entire face was black with soot. You watched him wipe it off his eyes, blinking sporadically, clearly dazed from the explosion. You edged to repeat your question of concern, but before you had the chance to, Logan held a thumb up, spit the bud of the cigar out, and coughed out another thick cloud of smoke. 
‘All’s good, bub.’ And you would have believed him if not for the fact he sounded like a cat that had just been suffocated, his burnt throat squeaking out the vibrations of his voice. ‘Let’s try—’ he was about to suggest another exorcise before he erupted in another coughing fit. 
Easy to say you had called it a day after that.
⮿
‘Alright, easy now.’ Logan directed you. 
‘I know what I’m doing, Lo.’ You retorted. All day long, he had been just non-stop talking, making it very hard for you to focus on the job at hand.
‘Do you?’ He quipped, making you glare back at him just long enough for the fire to double in size. You cursed as you held it back down—at least, that’s something you were able to do now. 
‘You got to focus.’ He came over to you as you put the fire out completely.
‘Well, stop distracting me.’ 
‘That’s easy enough here, but what do you think out there’s gonna be like?’ He cocked his head at the walls, indicating the outside world, where indeed, there were distractions aplenty. ‘No one’s gonna give you time to do your breathing exercises in the real world, kid.’
‘Then why give them to me in the first place?’
‘I’m not the one you want to fight,’ was all he said in response. It had been months, and by now, he knew all there was to know about you in the learning environment. He knew how to push your buttons, fire you up and hose you back down. He could tell what you were thinking and it was infuriating that you could not figure out the same about him.
But, suppose that’s what made him the teacher and you the student.
‘Sorry,’ you sighed, letting yourself fall onto the ground, pulling your knees up to your chin. ‘It’s just so frustrating. We’ve been here for months and—’
‘And we’ll stay here for months more if that’s what you need to improve yourself.’ He squatted beside you. ‘You got this. No need to give up now. Or else my time here’s really been a waste, and I don’t take to that too kindly.’ He gave you that smile that once had only been reserved for quick passes in the hallway but now had become the favourite part of your nearly daily training sessions.
‘Sorry,’ you laughed. 
‘Don’t be.’ He got up, extending his hand as leverage as you got back onto your feet as well. ‘Think you got one more in you for today?’
the end.
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thank you for reading 💗
if you enjoyed the fic, please consider reblogging and leaving a comment. or send a message via my inbox. requests are also more than welcome. 💗
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spacerockfloater · 8 months ago
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hi! i noticed you learnt about what ryan condal said regarding blood and cheese. it was…something. i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. though it would be completely understandable if you need sometime to gather them together or if you would rather not at all! thank you and bye!
Hello beloved, thank you so much for asking me! I’d love to share my opinion!
If anyone’s wondering, @rhaenelle is referring to this interview where Ryan Condal essentially says he believes that Blood & Cheese’s brutality and heinousness was exaggerated by the Greens in a propagandistic attempt to convince their subjects that Rhaenyra and Daemon are the worst villains ever born, hence why he toned the event down; to show us what he thinks is the accurate version of Jaehaerys’ murder.
Now, I am aware that Condal had already warned us that HOTD was going to be a feminist retelling of the events of F&B, which practically means that his plan has always been to whitewash the everlasting fuck out of Rhaenyra. So what do I think about this?
Well, for starters, I think that Ryan Condal is an excellent businessman. He knows what kind of tropes are going to make the audience engage with his show. He understands that people need a hero to cheer for and a villain to hate, therefore he removed the moral ambiguity from all of the characters and divided them into two categories: the Blacks, enlightened revolutionaries full of passion, deserving of admiration and correct in everything they do, and the Greens, pious fools with a moral superiority complex who are stack in the ways of the past and commit despicable crimes. The average viewer does not possess the intelligence to comprehend that both parties have their good and bad moments, and that they’re both correct in fighting for what each believes is rightfully theirs. Simultaneously, he benefits from the modern trends that want women in media to take revenge when they are wronged and emerge as triumphant girlbosses, because of course a white upper class woman’s suffering in a western world (or Westeros) society has everything to do with her gender and nothing to do with her personality or decisions (even if this works solely for Rhaenyra, because Alicent seems to be held accountable for every single one of her actions). Finally, it is obvious that Condal is trying to appease disgruntled Daenerys fans, so he has rebuilt Rhaenyra into this tortured martyr that wishes to change the world for the better in an attempt to make her resemble her great granddaughter six times removed.
For all of these reasons, I find it very logical that he is going out of his way to minimise the tragedy the Greens experience. It just doesn’t make Rhaenyra look good and honestly, who wants that? The producers saw how unhappy Danny’s stans were when they made her lose her shit; they’re not going to make the same mistake twice. They don’t want their show to tank like the last season of GOT did, so they’ll do everything in their power to keep the audience happy. And it’s working! What’s the last thing Condal says in this clip? “You kinda start rooting for [Blood and Cheese]!” and boy oh boy, the TB stans sure do! Literally hundreds of memes that rejoiced at Jaehaerys’ death were posted on X this week, with tens of thousands of likes. But when Lucerys died, it was presented as the most foul thing to ever happen in the ASOIAF universe. It is the TB supporters that dictate which child murder is good and which is bad, and that decision usually depends on which child came out Rhaenyra’s womb, not let’s say, the fact that one kid was a toddler that could barely walk, while the other was a teenager that laughed at the disabled person he mutilated himself.
It’s all just marketing
That being said, I want to clarify that I understand why Condal and the HOTD producers do what they do, but being a good entrepreneur does not necessarily make you a literary genius. Now, I’m not gonna explain why stripping Rhaenyra off of every character trait that made her interesting is a bad decision and that in their attempt to remove the blame from her so that they can elevate her as this righteous patron of feminism, they’re accidentally removing all of her agency and turning her simply into a victim, because I have a whole blog dedicated to that. But let’s just say that presenting Rhaenyra as this sexually liberated idol that’s incapable of evil, when in fact she’s an entitled aristocrat who’s completely at the mercy of men around her, from her father to her husbuncle, is the most performative activism move ever pulled in recent TV history, as well as pushing the narrative that Alicent suffers from internalised misogyny because duh, a woman can only be good and a feminist if she supports Rhaenyra, not when she pursues her own interests.
Ultimately, I think we just have to accept that this show is not meant for TG fans. We are not going to find any satisfaction in it. Everything that was unique and admirable about the Greens in the book has vanished. Their family dynamic is fucked up, Alicent’s children hate her, Aegon and Halaena cannot stand one another, Alicent is constantly a victim and never someone that chases her own ambitions, Halaena is very vague, Aemond appears to be more angsty than angry, Aegon is a stupid rapist, Jaehaerys’ death was turned into a mockery, Alicole was weaponised in order to make us shit on Alicent and Criston even more and so on. This show barely caters to us because we’re not making them any money.
The reason that there are more TB than TG stans is because (I’m gonna get so much fucking hate for this) most people who watch TV are fucking morons. I swear, when F&B came out 6 years ago, no one gave a flying fuck about Rhaenyra, because we all understood that everyone involved in the Dance of the Dragons was fucked up in their own way and that the message of this story, just like the general message of ASOIAF, is that nobody deserves to sit on that fucking throne. We were all in agreement about that. But then this fucking show came along and all the oblivious simpletons that swallowed whatever the producers shoved down their throats, grabbed the book and decided that “Woah, this book is obviously a critique on patriarchy and Rhaenyra is obviously the victim of the story”! As if GRRM, the man who said that he doesn’t sit down and think “Oh, I’m going to write a woman now” but instead he believes women to be people just like men, with complex personalities, would ever do that. And they just can’t believe that it is possible for book!Rhaenyra to be an evil racist classist full of entitlement! Surely it must be because the Greens are rewriting history! There’s no way GRRM, the man that created Cersei fucking Lannister, would ever make a female character that’s vicious and crazy just because she feels like it! Y’all need to sit down for a moment. I say this as a radical feminist that supports the 4B movement: you’re projecting your own ideas onto George’s work. Not all the media we consume has to reflect our ideologies, but if you think that it has to, then this book isn’t the anti misogynistic masterpiece you wish it was.
Like, when it comes to F&B, I am firmly anti Targaryen and did not wish for any side to win. I wanted them all wiped out to be honest. But when it comes to HOTD, I’m TG basically out of spite at this point.
All in all, I just think that things are going to go downhill for us from this point on. They’ll just keep glorifying the Blacks until the very end.
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chososdiscordkitten · 1 year ago
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Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 9
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pt 8 here
content: stalking (duh.) overdone sick trope 👍🏽, FINALLY something happens Jesus Christ, reader hates school, Choso can't THINK, reader HAS siblings but doesn't consider them family, not so much stalking in this one, more just progression and Choso being cute hehe (a.n) yayyy I finally finished this!!!!! sorry I was bed ridden for three days straight and finally felt the sun on my face yesterday.(depression) I know I indulged a little too much of my thoughts and feelings abt family in this one but I HAD to. Wrote this listening to 'This town- Niall Horan'
Taglist: @eristi @sunaumi @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @mochipip @hotvillianapologist @ziklope @saeline @morinuu
Obsessive!Choso who remembered how angry you looked earlier talking to your roommate, almost like you were arguing with them but he didn't know why. You seemed perfectly fine when he asked you if you were ready to go. He looked over at you, basking in the light of the moon. “Can I ask you something?” he blurted, making you look over at him. Bright eyes and a slight sneer on your lips, humming a quiet ‘mhm’ before looking back up to the sky. “What was your roommate telling you?” he asked, making your eyes turn tight, “Before we left- I mean.” he clarified. You didn't bother looking over at him, you kept your eyes on the sky before answering him. “They were telling me how rude I was being. ‘First day back and you're already running off with god knows who’ I think they said.” you repeat what they told you in a sarcastic tone, “Telling me that was sooo unlike me.” you mumbled, being able to feel his stare on your skin.
“I dunno,” you spoke up, knowing he wasn't going to say anything till you expressed your opinion on the topic. “I certainly didnt miss their lengthy lectures or their opinions on my life.” you murmured, hands in your pockets as you hummed. “Lectures?” Choso spoke up, questioning why your roommate was lecturing you. ‘Of all people in the world I refuse to believe they lecture you on your choices.’
“Mhm. They love chastising me for such stupid things. It's like I live with my mother again.” You frowned, looking over at him to see if he had heard what he needed. “And that's a bad thing?” he pinched his eyebrows, “If you grew up the same way I did, you'd never want to see your mother again, let alone live with her.” you laughed, “16 years was more than enough time living with that woman.” You joked, scanning his face and seeing he did not comprehend what you were saying. 
Obsessive!Choso who blamed your words on your boozy state, making sure to remember the topic so he could ask you later. Seeing your flushed expression and thinking it was time to get you home, in hopes you’d sleep off whatever they gave you. “C’mon. Let's get you home.” he mumbled, seeing a tinge of disappointment on your face. You hummed, “I'd rather stay here forever.” swishing your torso as you looked up at the moon. It was clear from the tone you took that you were clearly inebriated. But he’d much rather have you here, tipsy and refusing to go home, than with another man who would've just hurt you. “You stay out here any longer and you'll get sick.” He took a step forward. In the state you were in, you had found confidence looming inside you, a small smirk forming at your lips before you looked at him. “I didn't know you cared.” you teased. Eyes half lidded when you saw his face turn bitter.  Furrowing his eyebrows and looking at you with a hand placed flat against his chest, almost clutching his pearls. “Of course I care-” serious tone as he saw you try to suppress a laugh.
You sighed with a smile, looking down to your shoes and humming in response. Looking up at him with a hazy smile, “Take me home.” you wirred. The words that fell from your lips made a chill run down his spine, the tone you took didn't help either. Choso only nodded his head quickly before taking a step away from you, suddenly feeling like you were too close. You only raised your eyebrows at him, almost waiting for him to start walking in the direction of your house. He inhaled sharply before turning to take a step, seeing you walk right next to him. Silence. Usually the silence that fell between you two was comfortable, knowing he wasn't a man of many words at times. But this kind of silence made you want to laugh at how awkward it was. Especially anytime your hand brushed against his, he'd flinch away as though you were made of glass. 
“You're so strange.” you mumbled with a smile, being able to see the side of his profile as you walked. “Strange?” he asked, looking over to you with his hands in his pockets to keep from touching you. You laughed at the way he said that word, almost like it was the last thing he was expecting to hear from you. You remembered a picture you had seen on instagram. Of a cat looking sad and apologizing for being strange and off putting- which you found hilarious because he looked exactly like that cat right now. “Yes- strange and off putting.” You smiled, mimicking what the photo said. Choso mentally was scolding himself for being that way, not knowing why you were calling him that- but thought there had to be a reason behind it. 
Obsessive!Choso who took a few seconds to process what you had said, seeing you look up at the stars as you walked on the sidewalk. “I'm sorry...?” he asked more than stated, making you look at him with a confused smile. “For being ‘strange and off putting’?” he mumbled seeing you not understanding why he was apologizing. You wrapped your hand at the ditch of his elbow with a small laugh, “That's okay. I like you even if you are.” you joked, making Choso feel a warmth flood his cheeks. 
Walking across the street and stepping up the small steps of your porch. Seeing the porch light turn on, scanning his face. Noticing his flushed cheeks and blaming it on the weather. “You wanna come in? My roommates won't be home till late.” You smiled, looking at him through your eyelashes with a cheeky smile. Choso widened his eyes at your words, thinking of how forward you were being. Too forward. He nodded his head ‘no’ before speaking. “I think you're a little too tipsy right now.” He grumbled, seeing you disagree with your head. “I'm not- you're just a little blurry right now.” You smiled. Seeing him give you a feigned ‘is that so?’ raising your eyebrows in response. Mouthing a small ‘Okay, okay.’ before turning to unlock your door. 
You opened the door to your house before feeling a certain itch in your brain form. “Before you go-” you turned around, the door cracked open with the door knob in your hand. “Do you...” you hesitated, suddenly feeling very embarrassed by what you were thinking. “Do you not like me or something?” You gave a forced smile. Knowing the words you had been thinking for the past few days were finally out in the open. The expression that formed on his face was something you never expected to see from him. He looked like a deer in headlights. Eyes wide and mouth struggling to find words to say to you. “I-” he started, you tilted your head with raised eyebrows waiting for him to say something. “Because I like you, Choso.” you hummed, batting your eyelashes. Hoping that your own words would motivate him to say what you wanted to hear. 
The seconds you stood there felt like an eternity- maybe it was. The porch light had turned off from how long he took to answer you. Choso’s head was reeling from the words you told him. ‘As a friend? As a stranger? As something else-’ his mind was racing with questions only you could answer. He mouthed a million words, trying to say something but hesitating before he actually voiced them. “I-” he managed, seeing you part your lips and the shine in your eyes start to dim. “I lo-” he started, catching himself before stuttering. “I like you too.” He shuddered, the feeling of words falling from his lips without permission. 
Obsessive!Choso who nodded his head ‘no’ almost in disbelief at what he just said. “Really?” you asked, cheeky smile on your lips, fishing for more words from him. His face showed you everything you needed to see, he looked nervous. It was almost funny, looking horrified yet elated. He only nodded his head yes, seeing you look away from his gaze. “Do you really like me too?” he asked, feeling a frog was in his throat. Heart thumping so hard in his chest he swore you could hear it. Looking up at him through your eyelashes, dim lighting making your eyes sparkle once more. Nodding with a small ‘mhm’. “Even if I'm strange and off putting?” he whispered, feeling hazy as though this was a dream. You gave him a lushy smile, cheeks starting to hurt from how much his words delighted you. “Especially if you're strange and off putting.” You giggled, making him look down at his shoes. Noticing just how close you were to him. 
‘This is wrong. I shouldn't be here.’ he thought, looking back up to inspect your features. Taking advantage of how close he was. Even if he knows he’ll feel guilty for it later. ‘I don't deserve to be here with you.’ His gaze was heavy on you, feeling like he was staring into your soul. You exhaled, looking off to the side before speaking, “I've never felt so seen before I met you.” you whispered, feeling like he could see every crack, every secret and every moment of doubt in your life. Even if the plentiful amounts of liquor you had earlier were clouding your judgment. It was the truth, a truth you hadn’t admitted out loud till now. He called your name, making you look back to him with swelling eyes and a wavering smile. “-I see you,” he hummed, the horrified look on his face now gone, looking at you with warm eyes and a softened expression. Calling your name once more, “-I always have.” you furrowed your eyebrows, lip quivering and looking to him with expectant eyes.
“You sure you don't wanna come in?” you grinned, wanting to talk to him surrounded by the warmth of your bedroom. Choso softly nodded his head no, “Another time.” he grinned. Even if he had turned down your offer, you found comfort in knowing that he at least liked you. Choso straightened his posture, looking at you with a toothy grin. “Lock your doors-” he started, half laugh caught in his chest. “Lock your windows, close your curtains.” he lectured, making you smile in response. “I will. I will.” you mumbled, stepping into the doorway and looking at him as you leaned against the door frame. 
Sappy smile on your lips as you watched him take a step back, “Goodnight.” he grinned. Looking at you as though this was some shitty rom com from the early 2000. If you paid any more attention, you'd see his pupils in the shape of tiny hearts, hands in his pockets as the porch creaked beneath his heavy boots. “Goodnight Choso.” You hummed, waiting till he turned around to walk away. Making note that he looked back once at you when he was at the bottom of the stairs, and once more when he was walking on the sidewalk before closing the door. You found it sweet he looked back twice at you, if only you knew he kept looking to see if you closed the door so he could stand in the spot he usually stood at to watch your house. To watch you.
Obsessive!Choso waited to make sure your roommate got home before he left you alone. To make sure they didn't bring back one of their ‘friends’ with them. Not trusting your roommate or their shitty friends. But his fears were eased when he saw they came back alone, stumbling out of a car and tripping on their own shoes, sure. But thankful they came back alone, especially since they seemed frustrated when they saw the doors were locked. Having to fumble with their unused keys just to get into the house. Thankful that you listened to him, looking up and seeing you did in fact close your curtains. Smiling to himself at how you acted on your promise. Even if you were going to do it already, Choso couldn't help but think you did it just because he told you to.
Making sure to gently lay on his bed when he got home, on the brink of falling asleep before hearing his phone ding. He wanted to ignore it, but thoughts of what if it was you flooded his mind. Picking up his phone a staring at it with squinty eyes, seeing you had sent him a photo. ‘ik its late but i wanted u to know this is what i was referring to btw’ he read, waiting for the photo to load. Seeing it was a very sad cat, ‘oh god did i look like that ?’ he typed, trying his best to sound coherent. ‘yes u did!!! thats why i told u that’ he read hearing your voice in his mind. ‘im sorry if u were sleepin’ you double texted. Making Choso roll over slowly on his bed and hug his pillow with a small blush on his cheeks. ‘i wont lie, i was about to’ he replied, seeing you start to type. ‘ok ok ill let u sleep, text me in the morning ok?’ you asked, your coherence made it clear to Choso that you probably ate something to soak up what was in your stomach. ‘ok’ he sent, typing with one eye open, ‘goodnight :)’ before shutting his phone off and snuggling into his pillow pretending it was you.
Obsessive!Choso who’s assumptions were true, you had finally eaten a sad grilled cheese and had a cup of coffee before your roommate got home. Suddenly regretting every single thing you had confessed to Choso. Worrying you made him uncomfortable or offended him by your slurred words that had no meaning behind them. Even if it was embarrassing recalling all the things you had said to him, you were glad they were said. Knowing that if you hadn't found the confidence to tell him, those words probably wouldn't have been spoken till you were frustrated with the lack of progress. But now the looming thought of ‘Did he mean he liked me in a friend way, or in another way?’ was heavy. Frustration creep back into your mind, feeling like you haven't made any progress at all.
Sunday was spent in bed for Choso, feeling a little under the weather. Watching the small red dot on his phone move anytime you needed to run an errand for your roommate. It worried you- him feeling ill. Knowing how long he spent outside just to get you home. You tried asking him if you could come over with medicine. But the mere thought of you standing in his apartment, inches away from the shrine he had in his closet. Various photos of you in small frames around his apartment. It made him shiver at the thought. Clearing his throat before assuring you. “I’m fine- I'll be fine.” holding back the itching cough that tickled his throat. He did find it endearing that you would have risked your own health for him. The anxiety just thinking about you coming to see him was 50-50 with the heart aching feeling of actually letting you see him. 
There was nothing more Choso wanted than to have you at his side, be it the rising fever or his feelings. But he struggled to deny your attempts to see him, feeling a certain ache in his heart to be doted on. It pained him to say ‘no’ to you, it really did. But he couldn't risk you coming here. Almost crying by picturing you being upset at the things he had stolen from you, telling him he was your stalker the whole time. Monday came like a grade four hurricane. Choso woke up feeling like death came for him in the night, blinking his eyes open and seeing the time. Knowing one of the three classes he had with you started in an hour. If he was being honest, Choso knew he’d get sick eventually. Cold weather and an unheated apartment have never made the greatest combination. What he didn’t expect was to wake up on the day of classes and feel like a victorian child being eaten away by the plague. 
Choso dreaded sending you that text. It sounded like a lame excuse, like a lie. ‘im too sick to go to class, im sorry’ he felt like he was failing you in some way that you'd never forgive. But your quick replies of ‘i knew it’ and demanding his address and apartment number made his heart warm. When he didn't reply; you called him. He picked up on the first ring, “I was just about to text you back.” he croaked, his voice raspier than usual. “I sent those texts like 10 minutes ago.” you scolded, hearing him give you a half laugh from his chest. “I fell asleep.” he played coy, smiling as he pressed the phone closer to his ear. “Don't lie!” you smiled, being able to hear him let out a small huff. “I would never lie to you.” he muttered, cozying into his blankets as he closed his eyes. His incoherent words made you smile, telling him to send his address now. 
Obsessive!Choso who felt his brain pound in his mind. “No. Go to class. And pay attention.” he mumbled quietly letting his inner thoughts slip, making you sigh dramatically. “I’ll think about it.” you muttered, being able to hear his breathing steadily over the phone. Whispering his name and hearing small heaving. Thinking he probably fell asleep. You sat in your living room contemplating actually going to class. Hearing your roommates leave the house one by one. With a loud sigh you sat up, knowing there wasn't anything you could do unless he gave you an address. Sitting in your intro to humanities class. Knowing this was one of the classes you were to have with Choso, you were fiddling with a pen in frustration. Staring at the screen of your computer as you heard the professor talk on and on.
Something the professor said made you remember Choso had sent you a photo of his courses for that semester. Opening it on your dimmed phone, scanning the photo and seeing the upper corner showed the street name of where he lived. Knowing that there was only one small apartment complex; if you could even call it that, near the campus. And coincidentally it was on the same street that the photo showed. If you were being honest, this made you feel like a stalker. But you were doing it for good, you just wanted to help a friend. 
Smiling to yourself before gathering your things mid class. Walking to the grocery store close to your house. Surprisingly, the weather wasn't as bad as it had been the past few days. Today it was surprisingly sunny and not as cold. Picking up any kind of medicine that looked like it would work, not caring what it cost or if it was a name brand. Coming home to an empty house and packing a few things into a duffle bag, ordering an uber to take you to a small restaurant. Picking up a small bowl of chicken soup and riding to his apartment complex. Furrowing your eyebrows when you stood in front of the two story building, knowing that Choso was bed ridden in one of the 8 studio apartments. Suddenly realizing you had just come without warning, you called him.
Hearing the phone ring, and ring, and ring before he picked up. Nasally and hoarse as he mumbled a quiet “Hello?” gaining a small smile from you before you spoke, “Which apartment is yours?” you asked with an obvious smile in your tone. You heard silence before he spoke, “What?” he asked, being able to hear the confusion in his voice. “I said-” you trailed, “Which apartment is yours? I'm outside.” you laughed, hearing silence on his end. 
Obsessive!Choso who felt like his whole world would come crashing down if you even stepped into his apartment. Finding a sudden burst of energy and sprinting across his apartment and collecting everything that could look suspicious. Muttering various ‘what do you mean’ and ‘why’ trying to distract you from what he was doing. Finding a black photo box big enough to fit all the things you gave him that he had hidden in his closet. Standing in the middle of his apartment, “H-how was class?” He tried changing the conversation. Hearing you exhale dramatically, “Boring.” you mumbled. His eyes went wide when he found an old vent big enough to fit it in. Hearing you tell him to hurry up while he undid painted over screws with his hands. “No- really it's a mess-” he tried deterring you, only hearing you sigh before shouting at him playfully. “Choso, I don't care! Let me in.” Slipping the box into the vent as quietly as he could, closing the vent and standing up. Quickly scanning his apartment trying to see if he missed anything. “You take any longer and I'll go knocking on every door till you answer.” you teased, hearing him let out a low cough. 
“It's on the second floor- number 4.” he exhaled, gulping down as much of the coarseness he had in his voice as he could. Standing against the door as he heard you hand up the phone, not even bothering to check what he looked like as he waited. His heart beating faster and faster as he heard footsteps outside of his door. A small knock before his hand hesitated to reach the door knob. Unlocking the lock and wrapping his hand around the brass knob, turning it slowly. Cracking the door and seeing you, hands full and already beaming. Hearing you gasp, “You look horrible.” You grinned, scanning his state. Disheveled hair, squinty eyes, and cheeks derived from any color, looking paler than normal. He let out a phlegm riddled chuckle, “And you look great.” he smiled, feeling his brain turn to mush by just looking at you.
“Let me innn.” you hummed, knowing he was speaking nonsense. Seeing him nod no while his hand was firm on the doorknob. “No-” he gave you a weak smile, “I'll get you sick.” He scoffed, looking at you through the small crack. “I don't care. Besides-” you gave him a toothy grin. “If you don't let me in your soup’ll get cold.” You hummed, seeing him close his eyes and look to the floor. Looking back up at you with soft eyes, letting go of the doorknob and pushing the door open. Taking a step inside, scanning the four walls of his so-called apartment. Placing the duffle bag on the counter of his small kitchen. “You were right-” you trailed, seeing he didn't have much decor, or really anything on his walls. “It's colder here than it is outside-” you joked, looking over to him and seeing he looked almost bashful.
Obsessive!Choso who heard you unzip the bag before he apologized, “I know- I’m sorry-” seeing you turn to him with a miniscule space heater in your hands. Letting out a small laugh at the way you displayed it between your hands. Seeing him slouched over himself, almost trying his best to stay standing upright. “Go lay down, you look like you'll keel over if you keep standing.” You smiled, unpacking the small tub of soup as he shuffled over to his bed. Sitting down gently as he watched you make yourself comfortable. Turning on the small battery operated heater and hearing him give a pained laugh. You muttered a quiet, ‘Shut up’ as you looked to his kitchen, “Bowls?” you asked, looking over to him watching you on his side.
“In the cupboard above the stove.” he grumbled, seeing you nod and reach up to open the cabinet and seeing a single bowl. “Choso, if I open up one of these drawers am I gonna see just one spoon?” your tone was already accusatory, “Definitely don't open the drawer closest to the microwave then.” he smiled, closing his eyes as he heard you open the drawer with a gasp. Smiling when he heard you stepping to him, placing the glass bowl on his nightstand. “Eat. Then I'll give you medicine.” You demanded. Seeing him open his eyes and look up at you. 
You turned around and pulled out the chair that was at his desk, rolling it to face the bed. Humming quietly as you walked back to the kitchen counter. Hearing him shuffle out of bed and sit up against the wall, “I thought you couldn't cook?” he smiled, taking a small sip of the warm soup. “I can’t- if I did cook for you, you'd end up even more sick.” you mumbled, walking back to the chair and sitting on it. Placing the medicine on his side table as he ate. He looked over at you with hazy eyes, “Why didn't you go to class?” he hummed, looking over to you. “I did-” you assured him, “-but I left like 20 minutes in.” you laughed. 
Obsessive!Choso who wanted to scold you, nodding his head ‘no’ in disapproval. “Why?” he mumbled, feeling his throat sting. “I kept picturin you all alone, dry heaving in your cold-” you laughed, “- apartment and I felt horrible.” You tilted your head, seeing him stare at you with the bowl in his hands. “Especially since you're always so nice to me-” you hummed, “I thought it was my turn to do something kind.” crossing your ankles and seeing his hazy eyes look at you as though this was the first nice thing anyone had done for him.
“How did you find out where I lived?” he asked, setting the bowl onto his nightstand. You widened your eyes slightly, leaning in closer to him. “I stalked you.” You whispered, seeing his smile fall and scan your face. He mouthed a small ‘What?’ before you leaned back into the chair. “No, in the uh- picture you sent me of your classes this semester-” you grinned, “it had the address in the corner.” you looked at him disapprovingly. “Ah.” he smiled, “Either way- when I feel better I'll find a way to repay you.” He promised, seeing your delicate hands pick up the bottle of cold medicine and shake them in his direction.
Seeing him pop the bottle open and take them dry. “You can pay me back by taking me out.” you whirred. Choso froze up, looking at your face to see if you were being serious or not. You raised your eyebrows when you waited for him to reply, “Well?” you asked, looking at him while blinking slowly. “I can't focus on what I want to say to you right now.” He mumbled, turning away from you and feeling goosebumps form on his arm. 
“Don't think about what to say. Just tell me what you think.” You assured, wanting to know what thoughts he hid from you. “I think-” he started, wanting to avoid this conversation in its entirety. Seeing his cheeks flushed as he avoided your gaze, you scooched the rolling chair closer to him. ‘Hmm?’ you hummed, placing your hand atop his that was on the edge of his bed. All but flinching when he felt you. “What do you mean by-” he gulped, looking back at you with pinched eyebrows and shy eyes. His ears burning, mentally blaming it on your tiny heater. “...Take you out?” his eyes showing you how unsure he was asking you that. You gave Choso a small giggle, “You’re a lot less intimidating when you look at me like that.” you teased, seeing him close his eyes at how embarrassed he felt. “I meannn-” you droned on, “Like on a ‘date’ or something.” You leaned back into the chair, making this conversation sound way too casual. “You want me to take you on a date?” he asked, unsure if he heard you correctly. You nodded your head ‘yes’, seeing him think about it. Finding it very difficult to process what you were saying.  “...As friends?” he asked quietly, voice hoarse and cheeks pink. You let out a laugh, seeing his expression fall. Settling down a little and looking at him with warm eyes. “You're impossible.” your tone endearing with a smile on your lips. 
Obsessive!Choso whose face looked horrified. “No Choso. Not as friends.” You grinned, tightening the grip you had on his hand. The blush roamed down his neck. “I suspected so- b-but I didn't want to assume.” he stammered, reddening cheeks feeling lightheaded by hearing your words. You furrowed your eyebrows, standing from the chair and pressing your hand on his forehead. Leaning over slightly, Choso lightly inhaled, feeling your hand on his face. Pressing the back of your hand to his cheek and humming. “You're warm-” you mumbled, seeing him close his eyes. “It's the heater-” he smiled, lifting his hand and wrapping it around your wrist. Hearing you scoff at his accusation, pulling your hand from his face. Looking into your eyes and blinking up at you.
“Don't blame my heater for your blushing.” You joked, rolling your eyes before sitting down. His hand falling from your wrist as you saw him stumble over his words. “M’not blushing.” he huffed, fiddling with his thumbs. “Sure. Blame it on you being sick.” you teased, seeing him look over at you. Not even bothered by the conversation at hand, treating this as though it was some casual topic. Finally being able to gather his thoughts, ‘You're going to kill me one of these days, you know that?’ he thought to himself, seeing you look rather pleased with how flustered he was.
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing on his night stand. Seeing your eyes look down to see who it was, “Who's ‘Yuuji’ with a heart emoji?” you asked, looking up at him with a perked brow. Picking up his phone and seeing it ring, “My baby brother.” he whispered, clicking the small green button and raising the phone to the ear opposite to the one facing you. 
Obsessive!Choso who answered “Hello?”, hearing his brother ask him questions. “No- No i'm better now.” he smiled, looking down to his lap. Strands of his hair falling and blocking your view of his face. “Yes Yuuji, I took medicine already-” he was cut off. Feeling your fingers push the hair from his face behind his ear, pads your fingers grazing his earrings. Looking over at you with a shocked expression before stuttering. “Y-yes I ate-” feeling his blush return. “I-I’m alone-” He stammered, you furrowed your eyebrows. Leaning in closer to hear what his brother was saying, so close the air he inhaled was sweetened by your perfume.
‘You never stutter- who's with you?!’ the voice from his phone asked him, making you smile. Choso tried leaning away from you, only for you to lean on the edge of the bed trying to hear. “My friend is here-” he irked, seeing you give him an offended look. Squinting your eyes as you feigned offense, ‘Friend?’ you gasped quietly. Making Choso nod his head ‘no’ in defense as his brother scolded him for making someone else sick. Even hearing his brother ask, ‘You have friends?!’ with a laugh before he exhaled harshly. “I will call you later Yuuji.” his tone stern and authoritative as you settled back in your chair. Silence in the air as you hear- ‘Tell your lover i say hiii-’ his brother teased before Choso hung up. Your perfume still stuck in the air close to his face.
It was quiet, sure. But you heard him clearly, making note it was the second time; that you knew of, that his brother referred to you as that. He looked over at you hesitatingly, seeing a smug look on your face. “Your brothers must be my biggest fans.” You tease seeing him give a pained laugh, clutching his ribs as he leaned against the wall. “They really are-” he grumbled, seeing you from the corner of his eye. Seeing you hesitate before asking. “You really love your brothers huh.” You asked, Choso turned his head to look at you. 
“There aren’t words that could come close to describing how much I love them.” He declared, noticing a hint of sadness in your eyes at his words. “That's really sweet Choso.” You replied, giving him a warm smile. “And you? Do you have any siblings?” he asked, mentally scolding himself for not having asked you that sooner. “I do-” you replied without thinking. “Did- I did.” you nodded. Furrowing his eyebrows, “Did they…pass?” he pressed, not liking the look on your face. Almost like it pained you to speak about this. “Last time I checked? No, they're very much alive. Just not family anymore.” You shrugged, seeing the confusion in his eyes. 
“I don't understand.” He blurted, not seeing how that was possible. “They're only a blood relation.” You trailed on, looking down to your hands on your lap. “They were always just random people I lived with.” You slouched your shoulders, “But they're your family.” he mumbled, snapping your head to look up at him. “They've never been a family to me. Not now, and they never will be.” You declared, looking back at him with furrowed eyebrows. Tone more stern as you saw his face, full of pity and sorrow.
Obsessive!Choso who wanted to hear more, asking you- “Older or younger?” hoping to know why you hold such disdain towards them. “Both.” You mumbled, looking at his face. Feeling like he was staring right into the largest crack you had in your heart. Choso took your hand, making you look at him with pinched eyebrows and soft eyes. Running his thumb over your knuckles.
“That's why I think it's so sweet how much you care for your brothers. Mine never cared the way you do.” You grinned, seeing him look at you with a soft smile. Choso couldn't help but feel his chest swell with pride. At being a good older brother, and from receiving a compliment from you. “I'm sorry.” he apologized for nothing, you gave him a prize winning smile. Scoffing before speaking up, “It's fine. I'm fine, I'll live.” You assured. ‘I am still sorry. I'm sorry you weren't cherished the way you should’ve been.’ Choso thought, blinking down to his hand holding yours. Feeling his heart throb in his chest from how much progress he had made with you.
pt 10 here
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the past few days I was writing this it felt like it was never ending omg- THANK U FOR READING. I know I took a hot second in writing this- unfortunately life kicked me in the butt. ANYWAYS. im alr writing next part- (lets pretend im not the author of this) EVERYONE CALM DOWN THINGS ARE HAPPENING HEHE
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genderqueerdykes · 20 days ago
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Hello, I’m a transfemme aligned individual who very much is a man hater. (Didn’t really enjoy your statement saying trans individuals don’t harbor these sentiments :/) I still present as a man and look like a man “boy moding” much through my life. I don’t feel shame harboring these sentiments because I grew up in 2 conservative cultures from the Global South who always uphold male supremacy. I saw these normalizations growing up and my anti masculine hate stemmed from a lot of this. I also see how much of the world is extremely against femininity. I’m a very unapologetically feminine person in the small areas I have the freedom to engage with it.
However, I don’t see issues with antimasculism nor do I perceive there being any real male struggles in the world. Often times, they are brought up to shut down misogyny which doesn’t sit right with me. Not saying your post did this of course!
I do comprehend the need to lower anti masculine sentiment as I do realize it can be childish and provocative. However, I won’t blame any young feminist or annoyed woman for expressing themselves. These are normal reactions in a world that has mistreated us, not just feminine individuals but all gender diverse individuals. For me, this is like telling a young person of color to not be mad at white people. That’s kind of messed up. I can understand the potential to initiate dysphoria but I believe this is a much more nuanced discussion. Men and masculine leaning individuals have too much privilege in my views. They face no real world concerns on a high level. All of the problems are byproducts of the patriarchy and gender binaries forced on our world. It’s just such a nuanced discussion.
I’d really like to hear what you think about this. Not trying to be inflammatory at all, just wanting a discussion or some thoughts!
hello there, thanks for taking the time to send an ask and give your thoughts & feelings. i understand a lot of what you're saying from your point of view because you gave me a lot of perspective, which i appreciate. i'd like to try to point a few things out that may help to articulate another way to look at these sorts of things. i hope this will be somewhat informative, at the very least. not here to force you to change your mind, but rather just provide another perspective
i wanted to apologize and clarify something- it's not that i don't think that you're trans, i've actually been trying to make the opposite clear recently, so sorry if i was not being clear enough. i believe you when you say you're trans. you're the only person who can dictate that. you are trans because you say you're trans. what i've pointed out numerous times is that trans people can be transphobic, and that doesn't invalidate their transness. trans people can be transphobic is my point. i don't think you're not trans because you're a man hater. i just want to point out that there is transphobia, queerphobia, intersexism, and other issues at play with those lines of thinking
im genuinely very sorry for how painful things are for you. i understand how overwhelming patriarchy is when you're transfeminine, it's like a heavy mantle that never leaves. it's always there waiting to make you miserable. i appreciate you speaking up about your genuine struggles and how patriarchy and transmisogyny affect you. you have a very real experience that doesn't deserve to be talked over, either. you deserve a platform to speak, because you are a real transfemme person and you have real experiences
i am sorry for how awful society is to you and your trans siblings. i know it's hard to want to look past that pain to forgive people who have hurt you or could potentially hurt you. like, it can be a monumental struggle. and maybe it's not something that can be done alone. i can't expect you to get over the hurt patriarchy has caused you overnight. you don't have to rush through coping and accept people who have genuinely hurt you. hating individual and groups of men who have hurt you is a legitimately valid thing to do, make no mistake. you're allowed to hate individuals that you've interacted with for treating you like dirt
what i can do, as a man, is extend a listening ear and a hand and say hey. i'm glad you're telling me about this. that means this is affecting many, many more trans people than just you, and that's a massive issue. we can't let this keep happening. let's work together to help men understand the ways in which they hurt other people so we can hold them accountable once and for all and put an end to how they treat you, and everyone else.
However, I don’t see issues with antimasculism nor do I perceive there being any real male struggles in the world.
i understand why you feel that way, from your perspective. just a few things i'd like to point out to think about is that gay, queer, trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, genderqueer, interesex and other men struggle under patriarchy in just about every culture, so there are some male struggles, especially when it comes to disabled men who cannot work enough to support themselves, for example. men who are not masculine and cannot work enough are treated like garbage no matter what culture we're a part of. there are likely indigenous men suffering as we speak where you're from. mentally ill men are treated like trash and allowed to be homeless for no good reason. homeless men rarely have resources specifically for men, it's usually for homeless women in particular trans men almost universally never benefit from patriarchy, even when they pass. they are not instantly seen as cishet men. even if you live in a place where people of color are the majority of your population, for example, there are still other men who are minorities that suffer, as minorities are not always racial
Men and masculine leaning individuals have too much privilege in my views.
it's highly situational, for sure. for example, butch lesbian women do not get any extra privilege at all, in fact, butch women are treated horribly, especially when they're transfemme butch women. butch women face very high rates of physical and sexual assault. as do trans men and mascs, genderqueer people, nonbinary people, and intersex people. masculine men who are disabled generally don't have a lot of privilege, either. some men people are viewed as "less" masculine because of racial traits due to racism, same for black and dark skinned men being seen as "more" masculine due to racism. this can affect men very negatively, as very masculine black men are always seen as a danger and a threat in the United States and many other English speaking predominately white countries, which is not a good thing. it leads to black men being thrown in jail just because of racial discrimination. masc trans men can pass successfully sometimes, but not always, and are often outed as trans or "butches/dykes" when people find out they're trans. really, it's only a select few masculine people and men who benefit.
i see why you think and feel the way you do. i know you have suffered a lot, and i know you're in pain. i never want you to feel like i'm invalidating you and your pain. i think the hatred you feel is legitimate, i think it's just being targeted at the wrong people, presently. what has hurt you is patriarchy, not manhood or men. if we single out specific men and hold them accountable for their actions, it actually sets the tone for helping us improve how men view other people and themselves. this is the key to setting us all free is holding individual men accountable. when we say that they're wholesale trash subhumans who will continue to do this, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
we have to resist, not give in! if we continue to give in like this, it will never change. right now, we are acting as if defeated.
i'm sure many, many times in your life, you've been told that you're just an evil predator for being a transfemme. why would you be okay with doing this to someone else? that pain is unimagineable. you don't deserve that, not at all. so why are you comfortable doing it to people who haven't hurt you?
there are transfeminine individuals who are also men, so it might not be wise to say that no men struggle ever, because transfeminine people and trans women can be bigender, genderfluid, multigender, have cultural gender identities like being Two-Spirit and so on. there are trans women who identify as gay men as well, and other kinds of men. they're still trans women, so it's important to hear them out and understand that they struggle too. also profiling strangers can affect other stealth transfemmes like yourself, you may run across another transfemme in stealth who's trying really hard to pass for safety and accidentally misgender them without ever realizing
gender diversity includes all kinds of people including transmascs, trans men, bigender men, genderfluid men, genderqueer men, nonbinary men, intersex men, gnc men, and so on! there are a lot of ways to be gender diverse and men and mascs are included in that. butch applies to more than just cis women
this also hurts transfemmes who are questioning and in the process of coming out. some transfemmes and trans women still identify as cis men right now, for a variety of reasons. some just stopped identifying as cis men recently. it's very uninviting to someone who's still questioning themselves if we profess that it's okay to be men... because some transfemmes are still men. we need to let questioning people take their time
we are not asking you or anyone else to forgive patriarchy or toxic masculinity, quite the opposite! we do not want these things, either. we do not want you to have to drop what you're doing and prioritize toxic men who have genuinely harmed you and others. we want to abolish toxic masculinity and patriarchy. we want to undo the harm they cause. what we are trying to do is educate men and let them know this is not the way it has to be. that it literally doesn't have to be like this. we can change this if we work together. if we never truly challenge patriarchy at its source- those who actually genuinely benefit from and uphold it- we can never bring it down. we have to challenge those men on this. we have to tell them it's wrong. we have to be willing to engage with those men in conversation in a civil fashion so they can interpret information, instead of react with fear or anger.
you'll never hit your mark if you keep aiming for the wrong target
i hope these are couple things to think about, if you'd like to ask any more questions or let me know about anything else feel free to do so, i may not have all the answers for everything and i don't intend to tell you how to think, but i hope these make sense and are at least somewhat informative in some way even if you don't see eye to eye with me. take care of yourself for now
edit: as others have pointed out, masculine queer individuals may no longer feel safe around you if you state this openly, and there are many masculine queer people who haven't hurt you, so it's not a good idea to make other people feel unsafe. i know you feel unsafe, but making others feel unsafe isn't the answer in this situation
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago
Note
Request: wrong number au, Eddie texts Gareth something personal but puts in 1 wrong number & ends up texting Steve. The two of them hit it off & start chatting & then when they meet IRL they are completely head over heels in love & its cute as fuck
MY LOVE MY LOVE MY LOVE!!! LOVE A GOOD WRONG NUMBER AU!!! I can't believe I've never written it before now. I also had to actually include Gareth because I am actually obsessed with him lately, and I just think it's really neat that we can make these characters our own. This was such a fun and cute request! I didn't do the inappropriate route because I thought this was hilarious so sorry about that. I made up for it with something else! - Mickala ❤️
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GARE BEAR! You won’t believe it but i dropped my phone in a sewer. Lost everything.
He had never been so happy about having his closest friends’ numbers memorized. His phone was somewhere under the streets of Chicago, floating through dirty water and sewage, dying a slow and painful death.
He texted everyone else one at a time, let them know he had a new number and to completely delete the old one because it would never be recovered.
They were used to things like this happening; He lost his phone annually at this point and it was cheaper just to get a new number than transfer everything to a new one.
He went to dial Wayne, the old school part of him insisting on phone calls instead of texts still, when Gareth’s name popped up with a new text.
Not sure who Gare Bear is, but sorry about your phone. That’s shitty.
Eddie let out a loud laugh.
did you mean to make a pun?
Did it make you laugh?
yes
Then yes.
Eddie sat down on a bench, entirely focused on his conversation with this stranger.
Did you find your Gare Bear yet?
Not yet but i think i’m pretty happy talking to you for now
Smooth, Eddie.
Admittedly, he was in a hell of a dry spell.
Going on almost two years, actually.
A little flirting with a stranger never hurt anybody, not when he clearly needed some practice.
Not sure if your Gare Bear would like it very much though
Wait, what?
Eddie stared at his phone, trying to comprehend what that could mean. Why would Gareth not want him talking to a stranger?
I hope you find your partner though!
Oh.
Oh!
Eddie hit the call button in the corner before he could even register what he was doing.
“Hello?”
Oh no, he sounded hot.
“Hi. So, Gareth is very much not my partner. He probably actually wishes I would really forget his number,” Eddie rushed out.
“Um. Okay?”
“He’s been my best friend for ten years and he thinks I’m a mess. Not a partner,” Eddie further clarified.
“Got it. Not a partner.”
“Yes, exactly.”
They stayed silent for a moment before Eddie coughed.
“I’m Eddie, by the way.”
“Steve. Sorry about your phone, seriously that sucks,” he sounded genuinely apologetic, like he personally threw Eddie’s phone in the sewer.
“Oh, no big deal. I lose my phone more often than I go out with someone,” Eddie said.
Why did he say that?
Steve let out a laugh and it was like music.
Eddie couldn’t help the smile taking over his face at his laugh, already knew he wasn’t gonna be able to let this guy go without learning more about him.
“So you’re, what? Celibate?” Steve asked.
“Far from it. Well, maybe not far from it. Temporarily, maybe. It’s been a while,” Eddie admitted.
“How long?” Steve asked, a loud bang coming from his end of the phone. “Sorry, I had to go outside for some privacy.”
Eddie wasn’t going to read into that. He wasn’t.
“Two years give or take. I mean I’m not counting shitty dates that ended before they got worse. So, yeah. Two years.”
“Been a year for me, but. Yeah, I get it. My last relationship didn’t end on the best terms. She decided I was too in love with her I guess,” Steve sighed, voice sounding pained.
She.
Steve was probably straight.
There was no way he’d be lucky enough for Steve to like men.
Or for Steve to like him.
“I can’t really imagine breaking up with someone because they loved me too much. I’m usually the one who falls too hard,” Eddie admitted.
“Yeah, well, same here,” Steve sounded sad, a bit withdrawn.
Eddie wanted to hear him laugh again.
“I doubt either of us have ever fallen as hard as my phone did down a drain,” Eddie said sadly.
Steve let out a loud laugh and Eddie smiled.
“This might sound crazy, but I’m kind of glad your phone decided to live in the sewers,” Steve said when he finally calmed down. “And maybe a little too happy that you typed your friend’s number wrong.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
Was this flirting? Was he successfully having a flirtatious conversation with a potentially very hot guy?
“So I can be bold and ask if you maybe wanted to meet up somewhere?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“So you’re in Chicago?” Eddie asked.
“Yeah. You?”
“For the last five years, yeah.”
“You busy tonight?”
Eddie’s heart stopped.
He was really going to meet up with a stranger just because he liked his laugh and hoped he was hot.
He’d done more with less.
“Yeah, actually. I’m getting dinner with this guy I accidentally texted,” Eddie smirked, looking down at his feet.
“Dinner? What a lucky guy. Where are you going?” Steve sounded amused.
“Well, it depends on what he likes. I’ve been craving some pierogies. Ever been to Staropolska?” Eddie asked.
Gareth’s family owned it, and he used to eat there two or three times a week while they were in college, usually working off his bill in the kitchen doing dishes after.
He hadn’t been in a couple months, work keeping him busy and his budget being pretty tight when he moved into a studio apartment by himself.
He had enough to treat himself tonight though.
“The one on Milwaukee? Yeah. One of my favorite places to get devolay,” Steve sounded surprised that he knew it.
“You won’t believe this, but the friend I was trying to text when I got you, his family owns that place.”
“No way! Then we have to. We owe it to the guy who has almost my exact phone number,” Steve responded.
“Meet you there at seven?” Eddie asked, suddenly more nervous.
“Seven sounds good.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Steve giggled. Eddie fell in love.
“We should probably hang up.”
“Should we?” Eddie asked, not wanting to stop talking to him yet.
“Yes, I have to do my hair. Gotta impress the guy who drops his phone in the sewer and texts strangers about it.”
“He sounds like a loser. Don’t put too much effort in,” Eddie sighed. “But okay. See you at seven.”
“See you then.”
They both stayed on the line for a minute.
“Okay. For real. Bye,” Steve laughed.
“Bye, Stevie.”
He hung up before he could convince himself to talk to him for the rest of the afternoon.
He breathed out a loud sigh, smiling as he realized he had a date.
He dialed Gareth’s real number immediately.
“Gareth, I have a date!”
“What is this number, Eddie?”
“Oh, I dropped my phone in the sewers. Not important. I have a date!”
“Jesus Christ. Okay. Come over then.”
—-----------------------------------
Gareth had been his pre-date hype man since high school, though he wasn’t very good at it.
Mostly he calmed Eddie’s nerves and helped make sure his hair didn’t look like he just woke up, which was often its unfortunate state of being.
“So, you don’t know this guy,” Gareth said from his bed.
“No.”
“And you talked for like two seconds and decided you’re in love with him,” he continued.
“Yes.”
“And you think this is totally normal and sane?”
“I didn’t say that. But we just…I dunno. We clicked. I haven’t been that at ease with someone in a long time. It felt natural,” Eddie fell back on his bed, starfishing so his arm and leg hit Gareth’s legs.
“Dude, I’m not discouraging it. I’m happy for you. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if it isn’t as easy when you meet,” Gareth said softly.
“Yeah, thanks. I think it’ll be okay, though.”
“Alright. Tell babcia I’m coming by tomorrow for lunch.”
Eddie sat up and gave Gareth a quick hug.
“Thanks Gare Bear!”
—-------------------------------------------
He arrived 20 minutes early so he could sneak in the back to say hi to Gareth’s grandmother, who still insisted on getting her hands on the food every day for a couple of hours despite being nearly 80 years old.
“Babcia!”
“Eddie! My kochany! You forget to visit and I forget what you look like!” she rushed over, flour and oil stains all over her apron.
He should have kept some distance so his shirt didn’t get ruined, but he ignored the part of his brain telling him to look perfect for his date so he could get a hug.
“You know I have to watch my money,” he said against her shoulder.
“And you know I feed you for free if you clean up after yourself. No excuse,” she pulled away and looked him over. “You look handsome. Why?”
Eddie put his hands on his hips.
“What? Don’t I always look handsome?”
“Of course, but this is different. Your hair is smooth and you smell like the perfume store,” she smirked. “Is it a girl? Or a boy? Or a someone?”
“It’s a boy. We’ve never met in person, so I wanted to make a good first impression,” he admitted.
“Oh! How lovely! What’s his name?” She was back to kneading dough, but kept her eyes on him.
“Steve. He actually has been here before, loves the devolay?”
Babcia froze.
“Steve? Oh goodness.” She turned to the sink and washed her hands, muttering under her breath about something.
Eddie’s heart sank. Babcia didn’t seem happy about this.
“What’s wrong? You know him?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Is he not a good guy? Has he been mean to you? I’ll call and cancel right now,” he insisted, reaching for his phone in his pocket.
“No, no. Nothing like that. He is a very sweet boy. He got broken up with in this restaurant a few months back. Tore me to pieces. He just sat here for hours crying. I moved him to a corner booth for his privacy and he left me a $100 tip and ever since then when he comes in I make sure to give him as many szarlotka as he wants.” She touched Eddie’s shoulder. “You be good to him. He has a nice heart.”
Eddie’s mind raced.
Why had Steve agreed to come here for a date if this is where he’d been broken up with? Why did he even bother coming back if it held such bad memories?
What if he didn’t see this as a date?
The front door chimed and he heard the employee at the front welcome someone.
“He will be good for you, drogi.”
Eddie nodded before making his way to the front, stopping in his tracks when he saw the most beautiful man he’d ever seen standing at the podium, talking to the employee with a smile.
“That’s him,” Babcia said from behind him. “Go get him.”
She shoved him forward, nearly making him trip, which caught the attention of Steve.
He looked over with a curious smile, and then realization seemed to hit him.
“Steve?” Eddie managed to ask, loud enough to be heard over the few full tables in the restaurant.
“Eddie?” he asked back, hesitantly moving towards him.
“I, um,” Eddie started, then cleared his throat. “I usually sit by the window, if that’s okay?”
“That’s perfect,” Steve nodded.
It was cliche, like the room around them closed into just them existing together, like the stars had aligned exactly right for this moment to happen.
They sat down at the table Eddie usually sat at, staring across the table at each other in slight awe.
Eddie really hoped that Steve was having the same feelings he was.
But one thing was stopping Eddie from being completely enraptured.
“Is this a date?” he asked suddenly.
“What?” Steve seemed surprised by his question. “I mean, yeah. I’d like it to be. I thought it was.”
Eddie nodded once, but remained quiet, thinking.
“Oh God, it wasn’t, was it? You were just being nice. What is it with this restaurant? If I didn’t love the food so much or babcia, I would never step foot here again, I swear-”
Eddie put his hand on Steve’s to calm him down, frown on his face.
“Woah. What?”
“I just. I don’t have the best history with dates here and I guess I didn’t learn the first time something bad happened, and now I’m being too much too fast again in this place and-”
Eddie pulled Steve’s hand up to his face, placing a soft kiss to his knuckles.
“Stevie, calm down. This is a date. I’ll have as many dates here as you want to to get rid of whatever negative stuff you associate with this place. Babcia would hate that I ruined this place for you,” he said quietly.
Steve seemed to relax at his words.
And if you wanna tell me about what happened, you can. If it’ll help,” Eddie offered.
Before Steve could reply, Gareth’s cousin, Ben, came to take their order.
It was a quick order, both knowing exactly what they wanted, and then Steve looked back at him.
“It’s just. My last girlfriend, who I was with for almost three years, dumped me here. It was kind of out of the blue for me, and I had a really hard time that night.”
Eddie felt his heart break.
How could someone do that to Steve? He didn’t need to know him better to know that he didn’t deserve that, especially not if babcia had taken him under her wing so quickly.
“She must be awful to have let you go like that,” Eddie squeezed Steve’s hand in his, resisting the urge to go to his side of the table and hold him.
Steve shrugged and looked down at their hands.
“I mean, I should have known. She was never much for romance or spending time together that didn’t involve work or school. I was looking at engagement rings and she was looking at apartments to get away from me. I was just…really blinded by what I thought was love,” Steve smiled sadly at him.
“It wasn’t?”
“Well, it may have been a type of love. It was more comfort than anything. She was kind of all I had for the first year we were together, and I think I just ignored how unhealthy that was for both of us. And then I met Robin in college, and she was like the opposite of Nancy in every way. A few months before Nancy broke up with me, I told her that Robin’s parents kicked her out when she came out to them and that she needed a place to stay until we graduated. She agreed, then never made any attempt at getting to know her. And I didn’t read into it, Nancy isn’t like, super talkative with people she isn’t already close with, and Robin just kinda stayed to herself when Nancy was home.” Steve took a shaky breath. “But it turns out she didn’t bother getting to know her because she already knew she was gonna break up with me and leave the apartment to me and Robin, so.she just. Didn’t bother. Robin warned me, but I didn’t listen.”
Eddie wanted to cry.
Steve’s voice was full of pain, but not in a way that told him he still loved her, or still hoped they would get back together. More that she broke a part of him that he still hadn’t been able to fix no matter how hard he tried or wanted to.
“Was she jealous?” Eddie asked, trying so hard to understand what could have happened.
“I dunno. I mean, Robin’s a lesbian, and I definitely never had feelings for her anyway. Nancy was always so sure of herself, I can’t imagine she’d be jealous.”
“It sounds like she didn’t appreciate you very much.”
“What do you mean?” Steve didn’t sound mad, just curious.
“Well, she didn’t even make an effort to get to know your best friend, right? And it sounds like she was too busy focusing on her future to even think about what you looked like in it, and instead of trying to plan it with you, she made a future for her. She sounds a bit selfish,” Eddie shrugged.
Instead of being upset, Steve laughed.
God, Eddie loved that laugh.
“Sorry, it’s just that you sound exactly like Robin. You’d probably be two peas in a pod.”
“Tell me about her,” Eddie genuinely wanted to know more about the person who kept Steve going.
Their food arrived in the middle of the story of how Steve and Robin met, but it didn’t stop him from continuing.
Eddie listened with a fond smile, filling in Steve’s gaps of silence as he chewed a bite of food with questions or something related to what he’d been talking about.
It was easy.
It was fun.
Halfway through the meal, Steve’s foot rested against one of his and it felt like electricity shooting through his bones.
Eddie told him about Gareth, and his family who had pretty much adopted him when they both moved here from a small town in Indiana. He talked about his uncle who raised him for most of his life, who visited every Christmas despite being on a really tight budget.
Time passed quickly, but not at all.
They hadn’t realized how long they’d been sitting there until babcia came out without her apron to hand deliver an apple tart.
“You boys enjoy. I’ll see you both soon!” she said as she smacked a kiss on top of each of their heads.
Both of them blushed, but tried to cover it up with a bite of food.
As they finished, Steve looked outside to see how dark it was, how few people were left walking the streets.
“Guess we should head out,” he muttered, sounding like that was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Would you wanna come to my place? We don’t have to do anything except talk, I promise. I just don’t really want this to end yet,” Eddie suggested.
“Really? I haven’t bored you?” Steve asked, just a hint of self-deprecation in his tone.
Eddie shook his head.
“Not at all. I’d really like to get a chance to love you the way you deserve,” Eddie said.
Steve’s eyes widened.
Eddie should back up, should say something less intense.
But if this ruined it, then at least he said what he was thinking.
“You think you could love me?” Steve asked, barely more than a whisper.
“I think I already do a little,” Eddie admitted.
Steve blinked at him for a moment, mouth slightly agape.
“I need to kiss you,” he finally said.
“Now? Here?” Eddie smiled.
“Now. Here.”
“I won’t stop you.”
Steve stood from the table and stood in front of Eddie, placing both hands on his cheeks and leaning down.
Their lips brushed in a barely-there kiss, softer than Eddie expected.
Steve stayed there for a moment, eyes closed, and Eddie couldn’t help the words tumbling from him.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
If someone had said it to him, he would think they were just trying to get him into their bed, but that wasn’t the case here and he hoped Steve knew that.
“People used to call me a charmer, but I don’t think I’m half as good at it as you,” Steve whispered, his breath ghosting against Eddie’s lips.
“Just honest.”
“Take me home,” Steve said, opening his eyes and staring at Eddie, his eyes glowing with something close to love.
—-------------------------------------
They stayed up all night, never doing more than kissing and mapping out patterns on each others’ skin.
They talked about everything, even the painful parts of life, even the parts that they hadn’t shared with anyone else.
It didn’t make any sense that someone who had been a stranger not even 24 hours ago could already mean so much.
When the sun started to shine through the curtains of Eddie’s apartment, Steve sighed and buried his face in Eddie’s neck.
“I have to go to work,” though he burrowed his entire body further into the bed and Eddie’s side.
“You could call in sick,” Eddie suggested, pressing a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.
“Robin would kill me.”
He and Robin worked together as team teachers at an elementary school. When one of them missed, it left the other with 34 kids alone.
Plus, Steve loved his job, worked hard to be a teacher, and hated missing a day if he didn’t need to.
“Maybe you could bring Robin here after work? I can make dinner?” Eddie’s job was pretty easy, marketing for an Indie record label based out of New York remotely really kept him busy for a couple hours a day and the rest of the time was spent writing his own music.
Steve sat up and looked down at him, his hair ruffled from Eddie running his fingers through it for the last eight hours.
“You’d wanna meet Robin?”
“Yeah, if you want me to. She sounds like fun.”
Steve started crying.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry. Good job, Munson, already ruined something good,” Eddie was reaching for a tissue from his bedside table.
“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and emotional. And just. It means a lot that you’d wanna meet her,” Steve said between gasps for air as he continued to cry.
“Of course I do. I could even invite Gareth over, too, if you want. He won’t believe that our date went well,” Eddie joked, brushing the tears away from Steve’s cheeks.
“I’d love to meet him,” Steve said, sniffling.
“When can you guys get here?”
“Usually we’re done by four, but sometimes we stay later to finish grading stuff. Maybe we should say six?”
“Got it. Any allergies?”
“Robin is allergic to shellfish. She says she is. I think she just doesn’t like them,” Steve rolled his eyes.
“No shellfish, got it. Any preferences, my love?”
Steve blushed at the term of endearment, looking down before he leaned in to kiss Eddie softly.
“Anything you make will be great.”
“You wanna borrow some clothes for work?” Eddie asked.
“Do you have any business casual stuff?”
Eddie gagged.
“Unfortunately, it’s required for the job sometimes. Far left of the closet should have something,” he nodded towards the small closet by the bathroom.
Eddie watched as Steve walked over and picked out his only pair of khaki pants and a navy button down. Steve looked back at him and winked before he nodded towards the bathroom.
“Could use some help working the shower if you’re willing to,” he smirked.
Eddie jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, ignoring the way Steve was laughing.
“The hot water is tricky sometimes. I should probably get in there too to make sure it stays hot,” Eddie said as he stripped off his pants.
“Definitely. Wouldn’t want me to get cold,” Steve put a hand on his shoulder to slow him down. “Kiss me?”
Eddie leaned in to kiss him slowly, letting his tongue brush along his lips just to get a taste.
“Okay?” Eddie checked in.
“Yeah. You remember what you said last night? About loving me like I deserve?”
Eddie nodded.
“I want you to. And I want to love you back.”
“I think we can arrange that.”
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aperrywilliams · 2 years ago
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Pandora’s Box (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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(Not my gif. Credits to the creator!)
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Spencer gets called for work on his day off while having breakfast with his wife. He doesn’t know this day will end worse than he thought.
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: Mention to prison. Mention of kidnapping. Cat Adams. If I forgot something, let me know.
A/N: Written for this request. Two parts: this is the angsty one (sorry). How should Spencer make it up to Reader?
Part II
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Reader's POV
I always knew Spencer's job had its quirks. Granted, being an FBI agent is a dangerous job, and with my husband, this statement tends to be yet worse. Spencer has been kidnapped, drugged, shot in the knee, shot in the neck, framed for murder, incarcerated, and so on.
But after everything we've been through, one would expect things to settle down over time. Is it too much to ask?
I knew what was coming when the damn cell phone chimed that morning. It was Spencer's day off, and we had decided to go for breakfast at our favorite coffee shop since I had the day off too. It was rare we could match in our free time, and since we had both been very busy with our jobs, we wanted to enjoy that day.
Spencer gave me an apologetic look before answering the call.
"Reid," he spoke dryly. He wasn't happy about the interruption either.
While Pelenope surely told Spencer he should go to Quantico as soon as possible, I just stared at him—a glint of anticipated disappointment in my eyes.
"I'm so sorry," Spencer said, confirming my suspicions.
"Don't be. I know how it works." My answer was not reproachful, nor did I want to make him feel bad; instead, it was to clarify that I comprehended and accepted how our life's dynamic goes. "Don't worry, baby. I'm going to my dad's today and staying there. He's been asking me when I would have a sleepover with him," I commented. I knew Spencer would feel less guilty if I didn't spend too much time alone.
"Okay. That's good. And I promise I'll make it up to you," Spencer stated, getting up from his chair before planting an affectionate kiss on my forehead.
Don't make promises you can't keep, I thought.
Here is the thing. Spencer has good intentions, but time isn't on our side lately, so I only hoped we could have a chance to get at least a day to spend together with no interruptions upon his return.
After leaving the coffee shop, I stopped by the apartment to grab some clothes and headed to my dad's.
My dad greeted me in a tight embrace at the front door.
"I thought you would spend your day off with Spencer?" He asked once we parted from our hug.
I knew he was picturing a bad scenario. I'm not keen on sharing my marriage issues with my father, but he could tell there was something.
"Uh. Well. Spencer got called from work," I explained. My dad hummed, not saying anything. I regretted how I worded it because I hate portraying Spencer as the bad guy.
"What?" I asked.
"Everything is okay? I mean, between you and Spencer?" My dad questioned, concerned.
"Yeah. We are fine. Don't worry about us. Come on inside; you promised me movies and hot cocoa," I smiled at him, lacing my arm with his and heading inside the house.
-
Spencer's POV
Cat Adams. That name only means disaster. I should have known that. This time I hoped she only had ruined my day off with my wife- something a little more bearable than being framed for murder and incarcerated.
Arriving at Quantico, Prentiss and Rossi explained to me what had happened. Cat's associate kidnaped a family and demanded the release of Cat Adams.
Really she thought that could be possible?
Emily told me they were bringing her in a few hours and that I should talk to her.
I didn’t know if I was ready to do that, but a family was in danger. I had to.
She looked so pleased to see me that I felt nauseous, and my mind flew to Milburn. She knew what she was doing, but I needed to control myself and have the upper hand somehow.
My entire demeanor changed when she voiced her demand: a date with me.
The mention of a 'date' with Cat Adams sounded twisted and insufferable. But not going could have been a mistake. Cat knew I wouldn't refuse, not after she said my wife's safety was in danger too.
Frantically I left the room to dial (Y/N)’s number, and it went straight to voicemail. She never turns off her phone. I called her dad, and he said she left the house for a job emergency without explaining too much.
I looked at Emily, who had already told Garcia to track my wife's location. Minutes later, Penelope told us she wasn't at her workplace and was nowhere to find. Her phone's signal went dead after she left her dad's house.
Shit. Shit. Shit. I didn’t know how, but Cat had her.
Rushing inside the room where Cat was, I slammed the table, demanding my wife's location. Cat, of course, laughed in my face.
"I guess now no one could interrupt our date," she dared with a smug grin.
Against all my judgment, I agreed to a plan I wasn't even sure about.
-
Reader's POV
After Milburn, we talked with Spencer about the real danger we can be exposed to as a couple realizing the kind of job he had. Not that we didn't discuss it before, but the threat became real after that. We had a plan: if something happened, he would contact me directly - or through someone from the team - and if the communication could be compromised, I should get rid of my phone and not tell anybody my location.
When my phone rang that afternoon, we were watching a movie with my dad on the couch. I stood and answered in the hall. A sternly Spencer spoke: "This is an emergency. Met me at my old apartment. There is a key under the mat. Get rid of the phone and not tell anyone. Don't open the door to anyone, and wait for me there."
When I was about to ask what had happened, the call ended. I doubted for a moment. Spencer sounded so out of himself, but after what he had been through, I knew his job could stress him like that. So I just did what I was told.
I lied to my dad, telling him I had a job emergency, and left.
In my mind, I ran through all the possibilities, and none helped me stay calm. Everything could go wrong, like when Spencer went to Mexico without telling me.
Arriving at the apartment, I noticed the key was under the mat, as Spencer told me.
We always talked about what to do with his old place. Since we married, we got a new home, and Spencer rented his apartment. It happened that the last couple who rented it left a month ago, and we were still looking for a new tenant.
The place was almost empty. But still, some of Spencer's old books remained on the shelves. I took one to pass the time until Spencer could arrive. I didn't have my phone, so the only thing I could do was wait.
-
Spencer's POV
The last thing I thought I would do was ice skating with the woman who framed me for murder and kidnapped my mom and now my wife. Cat enjoyed every minute of my torture, and I just wanted to end it. My mind ran fast to catch any lead that could help me, but Cat knew me better. I don’t like to say it, but she, indeed, knew me better.
"So, I wasn't shocked when I discovered you married to that girl. I was shocked, though, knowing how neglected you have had her," she said casually, doing spins on the ice.
"You don't know what you are saying," I scoffed, trying to sound calm, but I hated how she dared to talk about (Y/N) and me.
"Don't I? So you will tell me you haven't canceled dates or left her for cases very often? That isn't good, Spencie, nothing good," Cat mocked.
I didn't want to give in that much, but how the hell this woman always managed to get under my skin? It's not that I wasn't aware of my messy schedule, but we always agreed with (Y/N) that it was my job, and she understood. Lately, though, things have been getting worse in that matter, and on that, Cat had a point.
When we married, I promised (Y/N) to slow down my job rhythm. After Milburn, I thought I had had enough, and it was time to focus on my life. It worked initially, but as the honeymoon phase ended, I did not slow down and even started overworking myself.
Everything I have been doing in the past months seemed like a stupid decision that had (Y/N) in danger because of my job now. If something terrible happened to her, I would never forgive myself.
“I know you’re waiting for me to slip a clue. But you will not get anything if you don’t show me your old apartment,” Cat demanded.
Now I was utterly confused. Why Cat wanted that?
The thing with Cat is always this way. She has a secret agenda you can’t decipher until it’s too late. I was afraid of that, but not giving up on her demands would put people in danger. I hadn’t an option.
“Why did you marry, anyway? You know you can be with anyone,” Cat spoke as we were being driven in the van. I snapped my head up. Cat shrugged. “What? I am right. Your job is everything to you, Spencie. Don’t lie to yourself; you can’t have a normal life. Not when we know we are so alike.”
“You don’t know anything. I love my wife,” I stated. Cat scoffed.
“I know enough. Tell me, does your wife know where you are now? Does she knows you are with me?” She asked, looking at me intensely. I averted my gaze. Cat was right, but her reasoning was wrong. I don’t like to tell (Y/N) much about my job because it’s not fair to put that burden on her. Not after we have been through. It’s not a matter of trust.
We got to the building and got out of the van. Cat took my arm as armed FBI agents escorted us—a show worth seeing, and I just wanted to forget.
Arriving at the apartment door, I took out my keys to open the lock, but before doing so, Cat stopped me.
“Did you mean it?”
“What?”
“That you love your wife?”
“Of course I do!” I replied, exasperated.
“Show me,” she demanded. But I didn’t understand what she was asking. My confusion was evident. “Show me how you love her. Kiss me the way you would kiss her,” Cat requested. My eyes widened.
“What? No! I will not do that.”
“You will. If you want to see your wife and that family alive again, you will,” she retorted.
I was about to lose my patience. In the last three hours, Cat had just made me go in circles. But I knew what she could do, and I was terrified that her threats would come true.
I took a deep breath before leaning to kiss her. I knew it was wrong, but I just wanted to end this night and find my wife and the missing family. Before my lips reached hers, Cat stopped me.
“I told you, Spencie. Do it like I’m her. Make it good. I will know if you are pretending,” she warned.
Fuck. What a twisted mind.
I gathered my composure, and I tried to imagine that it was (Y/N) in front of me and not Cat. I cupped her cheeks, the way I like to do with (Y/N), and leaned again. This time with no hesitation. It had to look real.
-
Reader's POV
I heard a commotion outside; I couldn't determine who was talking in the hallway. I froze in the spot, my eyes fixed on the entrance door. Then I noticed the handle turning and the door opening wide.
What I saw made my brain stop working.
Spencer was on the threshold kissing a woman.
Did I say kissing? Scratch that. He was devouring her mouth. And they were enjoying it, I could tell. She was the one who ended the kiss, and I swore I saw Spencer follow her lips for more. The woman turned to see me. Then Spencer noticed I was inside, witnessing how he- my husband - kissed a woman that wasn't me. His eyes widened, leaving his grasp on the woman's cheeks to walk to me.
“(Y/N)? What- what are you doing here? I thought you- that she has-" he stuttered.
I can't tell if it was for nerves, shock, or the fact he had been caught. It didn't matter, though. I was not in a condition to say anything. I just stood there, looking like a kicked puppy. I hated it.
“Fuck!” He cursed as if he had realized what was going on. The problem was I didn’t know anything, and my mind ran with the worst scenery possible.
"Ups," the girl teased. That's when I truly focused on her. I knew this woman. I'm sure I did. Then it hit me. Cat Adams? Seriously?
"What is this?" I barely articulated, shifting my gaze between Spencer and Cat.
"I - I thought she had kidnapped you! She did it with a family. I was so worried," Spencer explained, reaching to grab my hands, which I snatched away. I didn't feel like being touched by him, not after what I saw.
"I can tell you were worried," I spat. Cat started laughing.
"She has quite a sense of humor. I like her," Cat commented, looking between Spencer and me.
Oh, she was enjoying this. And my rational self told me it was better to shut up until I could understand what all about was, but my emotional side got to win this time.
"And you wanted me here for this? Your urgent case was about her? Jeez, Spencer, I thought you were done with this psycho," I pointed, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Oh, darling. You should know by now that Spencer is obsessed with me. How do you explain what you saw? He was kissing the same woman who got him in jail for three months. Maybe it's a kind of Stockholm, who knows," Cat taunted, shrugging like she was clueless. My eyes shot daggers at her. It was infuriating how her words echoed in my brain.
"(Y/N), don't listen to her. She is playing games right now. She wants you mad," Spencer tried to explain. And maybe he was right. But the smug look on her only fueled my anger. I didn't want to snap, though.
"Yeah, you can tell yourself that if it makes you happy," I deadpanned. Cat chuckled.
“Uh-oh. That sounds like jealousy to me.”
"Stop it! Cat, where is the family?" Spencer grabbed her arm suddenly. Her smug smile never faded.
"Easy, Spencie. What are you going to do? Throw me against a wall again?"
What? When did that happen?
Spencer's face went pale as his eyes met mine.
"Ouch. Someone didn't know that," Cat teased. I didn't know what face I had, but Spencer left the grip of Cat's arm and turned to me. "You should tell her, Spencie. She won't believe me if I do."
"You did what?" I asked in disbelief.
When Spencer was about to say something, Luke rushed inside.
"We got them!"
Them? What the fuck was happening?
"Now that's when we were having fun! Not fair!"
Cat pouted with dissatisfaction.
Spencer's eyes never left mine, pleading for me not to jump and hit him - or her.
"Take her out," he sternly told Luke, who rushed to do so.
"It was nice to meet you, (Y/N). Hope Spencer can tell you more of our story,” she taunted before crossing the threshold. Luke took the precaution of closing the door behind them, leaving with Cat and the other FBI field agents.
And just like that, we were alone with Spencer. Cat wasn't in the apartment anymore, but her words and presence remained heavy in the air.
Spencer’s hands were shaking, and they tried to reach mine again. I didn’t let him, though, as I stepped back.
It was all so confusing. And even if there were a logical explanation for this, the nerves and the anger were too much to try to understand.
“(Y/N), baby. I can explain. It was a trap. Cat orchestrated the whole thing, and I didn’t notice her real intentions until now. You have to believe me,” Spencer sputtered, faster than I had seen him speak in a long time. I shook my head.
“You called me. You told me we were in danger and asked me to come here, Spencer,” I tried to reason with him. He did this; why?
Spencer’s eyes widened.
“No, no, no. No! I did not. I don’t know how it happened, but I didn’t call you. It wasn’t me. I thought you were kidnapped! Cat told me if I didn’t do what she wanted, she would hurt you!”
I scoffed.
“How convenient that sounds, uh?”
Spencer sighed. He didn’t know what to say, and honestly, I didn’t have the energy to help him.
“(Y/N), please. You can ask the team. Penelope tried to track your location. I called your dad! It’s all a misunderstanding.”
I felt bad for Spencer. He looked exhausted, and he was likely telling the truth. But that wasn't enough to erase the image of my husband kissing Cat Adams. That qualifies as cheating, right?
I wanted to slap him across the face. Fucking Spencer Reid!
“A misunderstanding? Not a biggie, right?”
I hated feeling like this, but I couldn't help it. The more Spencer tried to explain, the more my blood boiled. Was I being unfair to him? Maybe. But after months of his work interfering in our lives, I was already fed up. This was the last straw.
"I didn't mean it like it wasn't important. Can we please talk about this more calmly at home?"
No, we can not, I wanted to say.
"Before your phone rings again and you must leave on another case?"
Shit, that just came out of my mouth.
“(Y/N)…” Spencer started to speak, but I cut him off. It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have right now.
“You know what? I think it’s better we take a break for this night. I’m going to my dad’s. He must have been worried after I left,” I said, trying to contain my shaky voice. I grabbed my purse and walked to the door.
Spencer stared after me, pleading with his eyes for me not to leave. I decided to ignore it. I needed to think and cool my head. I believe this is the wake-up call I feared might happen. Maybe Cat Adams had opened another Pandora's box tonight.
Part II
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Spencer Reid’s Taglist: @dreatine​ @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic​ @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19  @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @thebloomingeagle @pauline5525mgg @maltamurdock @disaster-in-waiting @pebble-has-a-mirgraine @anamiad00msday @chlochlosworld @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @miaxx03 @leahblackk
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savagewildnerness · 3 months ago
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O Earthly Lestat, I see now the trouble I’m going to have with S3 is I may have to defend Nicolas a lot…. And I don’t even know how he’ll be written for TV. But I know he means too much to me, and that’s just that. In a way Nicolas means the most to me. Not that he means more to me than Lestat. But that the elements of Nicolas that I relate to (& importantly as you can never get over this feeling - that I related to as a 12-year-old) I cannot think of any other instance in literature or any other fictional character I could relate to or who so exactly articulated something about me. And so I cannot help but always fight for Nicki 100% (even though I am not like Nicki in all ways.)
I want to CLARIFY! This is not some “Nicolas was Lestat’s actual great love” point of view in ANY WAY! LOUIS, is Lestat’s great love!
But this is: Nicolas loved Lestat. It wasn’t only Lestat who loved Nicki. And Nicolas loving Lestat enabled Lestat to love Louis.
I find it beautiful. YES, Nickistat ended AWFULLY! (And that there was mutual love makes it all the more tragic and beautiful to me!) But I just need to say here…
People acknowledge how much of Louis’ words in IWTV are shaded by his own struggles…. So I can’t understand why so many people seem to take Nicolas’ words in his final argument with Lestat (by which point, with whatever nuance you cut it, Nicolas is as described by EVERYONE as a mad vampire, his mind lost!) as 100% his always-truth!!!?! I just cannot comprehend it!!!?! I’d love if anyone would like to explain how you can see it that way, especially after reading the actual way Nicolas was pre-Paris, in Paris, when Lestat was stolen away… all until the moment he witnesses Lestat be shot. THEN it shifts for Nicki!
I’m also not one for blaming Armand for Nicki’s demise. The tragedy of Nicolas is, Lestat is very responsible for Nicolas’ demise, and simultaneously all Lestat did, he did through love. There are a thousand ways Nicki’s tragic demise is Shakespearean inevitable resonance… and yet…
But yeah, it’s actually primarily because of his music & things around his music that Nicki matters so much to me. But nevertheless, he matters & I shall fight for him!!! Lestat and Nicki's conversation matters deeply to me too, and what Nicki is for Lestat in that conversation. But where I connect with Nicki is in his music and how he feels about his music. I personally connect with Lestat's worldview on the other hand. Although in my personality, I am my self, of course, I also relate to some elements of each of them.
The thing with Nicolas I suppose for me though is there are various aspects of his self I relate to that I have never felt anywhere else except in my own self. Not in fiction & not in anyone I have ever known in reality either. And I guess that’s why I will always fight for him. Also, because most people should understand Lestat - we’re so in his heart & head 💛. But we don’t hear the story from Nicolas’ point of view, yet for me, at times it is like he is absolutely in my own mind & heart or I am in his, or it’s the same thing in some odd way I can’t quite articulate. I feel seen by him, and I see him. I understand some parts of him, reflecting how by existing in fiction, he has understood me.
Back to Nicolas. He kept Lestat’s dressing room at Renaud’s as a literal shrine to Lestat. He fought with his friends over Lestat’s moral integrity after Lestat went missing. Even when Lestat was gone, Nicki was still loving him, fighting for him, staying at Renaud’s, wearing rings Lestat sent him. If he felt as he said in his final argument, why did Nicolas even stay working at Renaud's at all? Why was Nicolas so distressed when Lestat sent him lots of money and gifts but didn't ever contact him?
I just list these things, which are just a few ways we see Nicki's feelings through his concrete actions. Nicolas truly did resent Lestat in the end. Just as Lestat couldn’t stand the sight of vampire Nicolas. But even that doesn’t negate love.
Mortal Nicolas DESPERATELY needed Lestat’s light. Vampire Nicki doesn’t. And I see his cruelty in the final argument (while not being entirely absent of truth) as being partly founded in love…. Nicki knows the dark thing he now is & he knows, even in his addled mind Lestat won’t leave him… and he knows Lestat. He knows Lestat must leave him or he’ll take Lestat to his death with him.
It’s ok that love was once & isn’t eternal. It’s ok that Nicki’s love for Lestat did exist, but turned to hate & yet was never entirely lost. It’s ok that Lestat’s love for Nicki never diminished even though he couldn’t stand the sight of him as a vampire. These things don’t negate love. Hate can be part of love. It’s ok that their worldviews were fundamentally different. It’s ok they were not each other’s eternal loves. There was love. Deep and mutual love.
As I see it, we can accept & enjoy that they BOTH loved each other, and that fact only deepens Loustat.
By which time, Nicolas is long dead.
But I genuinely believe when they were mortal, Nicolas’ love for all of Lestat (even when envying him too!) meant Lestat could later love the all of Louis so unconditionally, as he had been loved that way before.
It’s an unpopular opinion, I know. But it’s mine. I express it with acknowledgment I can’t be objective about Nicolas. But that doesn’t lessen the strength of my truth!
In all honesty… we are all subjective humans. Can we be objective about any fictional character we have an emotional connection with?
And that’s the crux of it: when you CARE so much, ultimately it’s about whatever truth you need.
Maybe we ought to think on this on all of our favourite characters & imagine how it might apply to others for any character we love less unconditionally ourselves…?
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monstersinthecosmos · 2 months ago
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I read your answer, where did you say "Pandora is his actual type and Armand was his pet"
But how could Armand be just a pet for him? He is one of only three of his turned children. Marius speaks of him as the greatest love (along with Pandora). Although I see some hypocrisy in this. Marius loves no one as much as Pandora. But certainly more than just a pet
Well !
Babe the thing is that, I said what I said and it’s okay if you don’t agree!!! And I’m gonna take this opportunity to double down. (Assuming that you’re asking in good faith and not to pick on me for my analysis lmao please this fandom has traumatized me too much.)
(((TLDR the text never treats Armand like he’s Marius’s equal but also I never said that being a pet was a bad thing.)))
I want to start by talking about the concept of MAKER in VC and how canon tells us that vampires exist outside of human social constructs, including traditional family roles right? Like for example, the moment Gabrielle is turned, she ceases to be Lestat’s mother. 
But with Marius I think a lot about how he’s crafted a persona for himself, and tries to operate in a very rigid set of rules. And part of this is like, how determined he is to live by stoicism even when he’s a mess on the inside, but I also think about in TVL when he says that thing about how it’s easier to just knock a glass on the floor, and how he goes out of his way to appear more human and retain human gestures. 
So like, in the way a MAKER is kinda like, a parent/lover/companion/something too big for our tiny human minds to comprehend. We still get a Marius who is determined to be a father & mentor, and I think a lot about how his need for stoicism and humanity is probably also expressed with his need to be the paterfamilias. 
I’ve been also thinking a lot lately about Bad Fathers in Media—specifically people like Tony Soprano, Logan Roy, Roderick Usher—and how the toxic patriarchy affects their relationships with their sons. Tony Soprano in particular is one who resonates with me a lot when I think about Marius—Tony often indulges in anger because he enjoys being feared (he thinks it’s respect but it’s usually fear), and that’s a bit different on a material level from Marius “anger is too pathetic” de Romanus but they’re both sort of obsessed with the idea of stoicism and trying to be a ~ strong silent type ~ on the outside, even when they’re actually quite messy and emotional underneath.
But wait — put a pin in this for a second. We’ll come back to this, and the concept of fathers and sons. I want to pause real quick to swerve to clarify:
Armand being a pet isn’t a bad thing.
It wasn’t “pet (derogatory) 😒” —  it’s “pet (adorable creature that I care for) 🥰”.
Here’s the thing about MARIMAND if you will (I hate all the VC ship names oh my god theyre all hideous lmao) but like OKAY OKAY. THE THING IS. WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF WE’RE NOT INTO THE FUCKEDUPEDNESS ? 
Like I’m not telling anyone how to enjoy a ship, please have fun ! Do you! But to ME? That inter-species friction and 1,517 year age gap is like WHAT THE DYNAMIC IS ABOUT, THAT’S THE FLAVOR BABY!!! Anne Rice herself even said the book was about “a boy’s love for a monster” !!
WHAT’S THE POINT OF MONSTERFUCKER EROTICA IF HE’S NOT A MONSTER LOL
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And YEAH I get that not everyone wants to read TVA as a monsterfucker story. That’s okay! It also reads as a savior fantasy. But I enjoy the messiness of it—I LIKE that Marius is an apex predator & ghoulish ancient thing. I like that it’s problematic. I LOVE that Marius really does love him, though, amidst all these other themes. I find it SO compelling.
But I never once said that Marius doesn’t love him. Of course Marius loves him. What I said is that he loves Armand the way we love a pet. I would fucking die for my cats. I regularly burst into tears looking at my cats because I love them so much. But they’re fucking cats lmao.
I never for one minute forget that Marius isn’t human. He’s operating on a whole different wavelength with different points of references and ethics and life experiences. Like, people get so hung up on Armand being 17 and IT WOULD BE JUST AS BAD IF HE WAS 18 OR 25 OR 30 LOL. A frail little human cannot comprehend !!!!!
What’s interesting with Marius’s fledglings though is that he tends not to treat them as equals. Like I think you could read TVA thinking: Once Marius turns him, they’ll be real partners. But no, they stick to their mentor/mentee, dom/sub, father/son roles. We don’t have tons of examples in canon of other maker/fledgling relationships but it’s not a coincidence that Roman Patriarch Marius maintains status over his fledglings. Even once Armand is a vampire, he’s still not Marius’s equal, and Marius’s age and power are still held over him. 
BUT LIKE.
That’s weird, right?
I MEAN THE DARK GIFT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE but it’s interesting to me that Lestat & Gabrielle’s relationship completely dissolves once she’s a vampire, but Marius & Armand’s doesn’t.
(Sidebar that like, I think there’s also ways to acknowledge that if we think their relationship is good that it’s OKAY for them to maintain these roles because Armand WANTS to be his sub but let me focus on my point here. We should also make time to talk about diegetic BDSM and whether or not it’s appropriate to use a D/s framework for this discussion if the roles are baked into the text and not a choice for the characters and not a game they are agreeing to but that’s for another post.)
So back to the thing about fathers.
I’ve been thinking a lot about bad father characters, specifically Logan Roy and Tony Soprano (also bad mother Margaret Chenowith) and the impossible standards they give their children. Logan and Tony are both men who are disappointed in their sons for being soft, because they were able to provide better lives for their children. They both spoil their sons with all the material wealth that they did not have in their own lives. For Logan we see how badly he resents his kids—Kendall even accuses him of being jealous of what they have—and for Tony he seems to be at a loss on how to parse his feelings. Part of him literally hates AJ for being such a whimsical little fuckup, and at the same time he wants to protect that part of AJ and doesn’t even WANT AJ to follow in his footsteps. Still, he hates to see that AJ is spoiled with no work ethic, and doesn’t know how to set an example for him.
Everything in Venice is designed to spoil Armand with all the things Marius didn’t get—it’s such a specific & deliberate opposite of how Marius was turned. And I think him seeing Armand as a pet puts a little bit of distance between the hurt he’d feel if he thought of Armand as a true son, or even an equal. He doesn’t have to resent Armand for having it easier than he did, but also doesn’t have to feel extremely betrayed by Armand fitting in with the cult. Like, let’s never 4get that by the time Marius catches up with Armand, Armand is right at home and thriving with them. A CULT? THE THING THAT KILLED ME????? Marius has no idea what the fuck they did to him, he just knows that Armand settled in just fine and has discarded everything that Marius tried to teach him. 
I think these roles are appropriately all muddled because it’s VC—like we said, the No Social Constructs series—so like, how do we compare the words SON and PET and FLEDGLING and SUB, I’m not sure. But my point is that he’s never seen or treated Armand as an equal, and perhaps never even a full adult person. 
ARE THESE IDEAS CONFLICTING? A little. But that’s okay. Am I incoherent and ill-equipped to tackle this analysis or is it because Marius is not a consistent person and never quite lives up to the ideal he’s trying to be? Does he want Armand to be his pet but secretly has feelings? Does he fail at being a father figure? Is he brushing off his Big Big Emotions so that he doesn’t have to admit how wrecked and destroyed he is and how badly his feelings were hurt? Idk man. I’m sure you can send me another anon to tell me I’m wrong. 
I wonder sometimes if like, keeping Armand at this lower status (like a pet) actually protects Armand from Marius’s ire and disappointment. Marius is sort of a father, but sort of not. He’s crafted a role for himself that is never all the way sincere, and it allows him some space to protect his own feelings of betrayal and disappointment when it comes to Armand. Marius is also classically bad at following his own rules, and never quite sticks the landing on the people he’s trying to be. 
I can imagine a version of events where Armand does gain some ground with Marius, maybe pays his dues and matures into someone that Marius trusts and respects, but that’s not the version of events we get in canon. Marius turns Armand, Armand remains his pupil, they visit Kiev and Marius is jealous of Armand’s father, they make it all the way to the raid without Marius ever confiding about The Parents. Even in the present day, during a dispute, Marius tells Armand he has the savage & ignorant soul of a child. Even in the present day, Marius won’t stop calling him Amadeo!!!! 
And like!!!!! It feels like Marius is more upset about Santino wronging him by ruining his home and taking his toys than he is about what Santino did to ARMAND. It’s more about Marius’s own feelings and possessions than it is about Armand’s own feelings and experience of what happened. AN ARMAND FRIDGING, IF YOU WILL. 
Anyway.
By never seeing Armand as a complete person, Marius never has to feel threatened by him. We see this in toxic parents a lot. Like, I want you to be good, but I’m insecure if you’re better than me. Or I can never fully respect your feelings because I always see you as a child and not a fully grown adult. And the truth is that Marius is actually quite threatened by Armand, on the inside. He is very hurt. He cares what Armand thinks of him. He’s relieved at the end of BCtu when he assumes that Armand wants to open his heart again. 
So idk like. I think the books end with a little bit of a hope for them; we see a lot of growth and self-acceptance from Marius in the last book and it’s reasonable to assume that he and Armand might have a long chat and nice long cry and work it out. I don’t think it’s completely set in stone, but it’s nice to think about! A nice happy ending. And I wonder if this is when Marius finally takes Armand seriously and listens to what he has to say without demeaning him! 
Am I gonna add 2000 more words to this point by tying it what the whole like “I fear him because I could love him again” thing in TVA means? No I’m not. But like. Again! It’s okay to be a pet, I think Armand liked being his pet. :) 
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theallianceofcelestials · 2 months ago
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Okay, so apparently people have been harassing Kat, Earth's VA because they... don't like the characters she plays and how she writes for the show? The actual fuck?
Like don't get me wrong, perfectly fine to look at a character and decide you don't like them, even hate them potentially, but you don't go and harass the people responsible for making the character. That's just plain dumb. I hate/dislike characters from some of the shows (Bonnie from Moon and Sun Minecraft for example), but that doesn't give me the right to go and harass their VAs. BECAUSE IT'S JUST A CHARACTER FOR A SILLY LITTLE SHOW PEOPLE MAKE FOR FREE! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS! Sure I may rant about the character, but NEVER badmouth the actor, because them being able to achieve such a visceral reaction out of me by just looking at the character, makes them so incredibly talented.
Like how can you be so fucking terminally online, that you decide to harass someone because "I Don't LiKe ThE chaRacTeR"?! Like that's no valid reason to do that! Go and touch some god fucking grass, my god! I swear it's actually good for you!
Like this is just straight up disgusting behaviour in general. It's unacceptable, and shows just how much of a coward these people actually are, because there're no consequences for THEM. And well, they clearly don't fucking care about their fellow human beings, so like jfc.
And like the shit Kat does is for FREE! She doesn't charge us money for her services! She just went and did some amazing stuff for us, and now some idiots're feeling butthurt because they hate female characters or something.
I sincerely hope it was only a couple of individuals at worst, and a single person at best, because my faith in humanity is already rather fragile, and this is just ridiculous and pathetic.
So like, if by some miracle the person/people who harassed Kat is/are reading this, I want you to know this says more about to how sad and pathetic you actually are, and how you peaked back on the playground as a bully and didn't manage to develop into an actual fucking person, than it does anything about Kat. I hope you realise just how stupid you are, but I know you likely won't. Because people like you lack brains, so you can't comprehend basic fucking concepts like how the sky is blue, and 2 + 2 is 4. Or how grass is not your fucking enemy.
This isn't about just just Kat, because from what I've heard, other female characters' actresses get similar bs, and their characters get tremendous ammount of hate compared to male characters that potentially did incredibly horrid stuff, but I don't really follow the other TSBS to know what's going on. But my gods. That's so disappointing.
Why are fandoms nowadays so toxic? Back in my day, and I'm not that old myself either, and joined fandoms later than most people in said fandoms, since I'm a not native english speaker, but back in the day fandoms were so much more positive. Sure, there was the toxic minority, but they were just that. Loud small group of jerks. Like when did we start catering to these people? When did we decide that these toxic people were whom we should listen to, and explain every little thing we do to them? Like why do I have to explain why I like villian characters or whatever to internet strangers? I think people are more than smart enough to realise morality should not be taken from media!
And when did fanart and fanfic start becoming expectation, something the fanfic writer has to do, the fanart artist has to do? Instead it being the expression of joy and feelings the consumed media gave them? When did shipping become life or death? When did a headcanon or an AU become so fucking serious that lives apparently depend on it with how people jump eachother? Why can't we just relax and have fun? Like do what fandom is meant for?
This is obviously not for the people who didn't do any of this shit, but the fact I need to clarify that or someone will get offended is disheartening. Like people please deal with your anxieties! If it's not your shirt, don't put it on as a saying in my native tongue goes!
Sorry for the angry rant, it's just so disappointing, especially because Kat is such a talented person! I really enjoy how she plays these characters and I love her writing! So I thank her for deciding to not just quit altogether, no matter how understandable that would have been! I hope stepping back will make things better!
I just hope her mental health doesn't have to suffer more, because this shouldn't have happened to her in the first place. She's been doing amazing work, for free I'll say once again, and I'll forever cherish it! I hope things get better for her!
If by some miracle this reaches Kat, thank you for sticking with us for as long as you have! I hope things'll get better for you! Take care of yourself! :)
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thequietkid-moonie · 2 months ago
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Would it be alright if you did a Violet Evergarden prompt with her finding her readers suicide letter that they wrote before they met her and forgot about?
Finding S/O's old suicide note
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[ SCENARIO ] [ Violet Evergarden ]
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I like a lot this prompt! It is incredibly comforting for me! It has being a while since last time i seriously thought about all this stuff but it is still comforting
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Violet is really caring, she has problems dealing with her own feelings and expressing them but one thing is for sure, she want to spend her life with you!
Violet isn't really someone who likes to pry in your privacy, she decided to put her trust on you and want to believe that you will tell her the important things even if it takes you time, so for her to actually find the letter it has to be because she has a good motive to look throught your belongings and has your explicit permision otherwise she wouldn't even think on doing such thing
She didn't think much of it when she first saw the letter, even if the paper was folded she would hesitant for a moment before undoing it to see the content, besides if the paper was hide between some of your belongings she may asume thats is something private and she would almost simply let it where she found it or even directly ask you if it is anything important
The only reason why she end up reading it was because with a quick glance she noticed that it was a letter, by being a automemory doll she can understand the importance a letter can hold and she felt some sense of responsability, maybe it was a letter you didn't finished or you forgot to send and if that is the case she would like to help you finish the job, thats the only reason why she end up reading it
Violet end up reading the whole note at least twice because she simply cant understand it, she quickly get what the message means but she doesn't fully process the real meaning of it, or at least she doesn't want to fully understand it, it is clear that the note express despair and even a goodbye but still Violet has a hard time trying to understand, it is that someone else send it to you? Where you trying to say a farewell to someone? Why did you even wrote something like this?
Violet is so confused and even scare of what the note could truly mean that it would be stuck in her mind for a while, she isn't foreign to death but she is to the wish of a self inflicted dead, still her mind refuse to connect the dots for being so scare of losing you. This situation feels like it is eating her alive, she doesn't know how to react wich lead her to don't even know how to aproach the topic to you, but as time pass it would be more obvious how there is something bothering her
It is probably that she won't be able to express her worries until you decide to ask her about it because she doesn't even know how to ask about it, but once you do it becomes easier, still she will start by apologizing for reading a letter you wrote
As Violet start to express what have being troubling her it become more obvious how scare and confused she is, Violet is unable to fully understand the wish to die and is even asking you to please explain it to her because now she is scare of losing you
She tries her best to understand the feeling but that doesn't make her feel any more better, even when you clarify that that letter is something you wrote long ago and you have even forget about it she will not be able to calm down yet, she is way too scare of losing you to calm down, she wants to ask for more information to not only fully comprehend but also help you but at the same time is scare of triggering you by accident while asking
It will take Violet a while to finally accept the idea that those feelings are now just part of the past, even if you destroy the note she will need some reasurance and time, and even after that she will try to make sure you don't have those feelings again, she doesn't want you to wish to be dead, she loves you too much to see you suffer like that and she doesn't know what will happen to her if she lose you too
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personasintro · 6 months ago
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Hi, its me the yapper!! Once again!! 👋👋
I just wanted to clarify something that both you and other commenters seem to have gotten wrong; Whatever I said was incase of the scenario that you’re not feeling the story like you used to, so writing it has taken longer bcs you do not enjoy it as much but you still want to appease the reader. Hence the unwanted suggestions I made.
In my point of view, it seemed that way so I thought it was inevitable that you one day drop the fic because yes we’re getting older and busier and we drift away from things we loved. Thats why I said “is it really that serious?” because you obviously seem willing to keep writing but the wait has gotten so long that it looks like you’re doing it out of obligation(?!).
Looks like I misjudged and I apologise if thats not the case. But it came out of genuine curiosity because I just cant comprehend such long wait. Thats a me problem ig🤷‍♀️
So what I got out of your response is that yes we might/will see the end of mh in like 1-2 years? (more or less)I get that I sound bitter but I promise I am NOT lmao its pure curiosity I promise!!!
Ps to people who said that that was uncalled for or that its serious to me otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered; As I said I am an avid reader of mh so after a reread I thought I could share my thoughts? Like its genuinely not that serious even to me, I didn’t think twice before sending the ask I did it just because the thought crossed my mind. And l believe the whole waiting thing is a fact, so people’s opinions on it are very much called for?
Is it any of our business how long mimi takes to write? No🙂‍↔️. Are we as readers entitled to an opinion as long as we’re respectful? I’d like to think yes🙂‍↕️
Anywayss have a good one yall
i understood what you meant in your previous ask. and i still stand by what i said many times before – i do not hold here anyone against their will and if anyone feels like they're getting older and lose an interest in any of my stories, that's okay and it's their decision to make. i can't be responsible for everyone's feelings of how they feel about this exact situation. that's beyond my control and you're all free to feel however you want. i do wish people would be more understanding and respectful and that's why i said that no one knows what someone goes through. just because i'm no longer totally open about what's going on in my life, doesn't mean i don't care about my stories.
i'm not writing out of obligation. sure, i do feel a certain responsibility to make mh my priority even more than ever, but it's not an obligation. and i wouldn't just drop the story. i said this too, i'll finish this story whether it's for myself or for everyone else as well.
i said this many times before too – i'm in a position where i write whenever i can and want. i do not have any schedule, actually i never had one – but readers were used to more frequent updates and now, of course it's harder to get used to less frequent updates. but that's just life. i apologized when i never had to. my plans was always to finish mh asap (still is) but sometimes things don't go as planned and there are things i don't even have control of.
i respect your opinion and i'm merely explaining myself on this, hope it can be taken with respect and understanding as well!
have a good day everyone ☀️
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sanspuppet · 1 year ago
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GENRE: fluff, smut w a lot of romance (?)
PAIRING: Heesung x afab! reader
W/T: university au, lil bit of jealousy, unprotected sex, biting, swearing, pet name (princess)
A/O: i know that Hee doesn’t have much to do with my blog but this is the ff i wrote for my bestie and i’m just gonna post it so yeah, remember that i’m a multi-stan so i write for many other groups apart from ateez
enjoy <3
———
"come on! it'll be fun!" Jeongin tries to encourage you, his hands begging at your pissed expression because of his hundredth attempt to invite you at his party.
"i don't want to! i don't know anyone of your friends" you reply back with a sharp tone, it’s almost a week that he keeps asking you to come, and he can’t comprehend that you have no intention to go.
"Oh yeah! there's one: Heesung! that guy from class 3B" he winks at you with a smirk already trailing on his face.
"Another reason not to go there!" you quiver, body stiffening the same second he pronounces his name. Actually, if there’s Lee Heesung too, you could think about it a couple times and accept. Through all, he’s the finest man at your university, no doubts he’s your secret crush, well not that secret because it seems that Jeongin has already found out.
"But it's a good opportunity to talk to him!" his voice booms inside the classroom, all of your classmates turn back to look at you, your professor violently slams his palm on the desk: "You two! Better keep those mouths closed during my classes!" you hush a quick "excuse us" before turning back to focus on algebra.
Hours later, when the last school bell rang, you leave the university, arm crossed while walking down the street, with Heesung's smile pictured in your mind and dangerously lost in yourself while fantasizing about him. The stoplight turns red, which unfortunately you don’t pay attention to, you’re about to cross the road when someone thoughtfully grabs your waist, fingertips gripping at your skin, trying to stop you. Your heart flutters intensely, goosebumps on your body as you hear a familiar voice beginning: "you should pay more attention while walking" oh no, you perfectly recognize that voice, sweet but at the same time extremely attractive, you can’t help but turning your face to look at him, panic already flowing into your body. "U-uhm... sorry" Heesung smiles for a millisecond before turning back to his serious expression: "you don't have to be sorry, just wanted to warn you darling" maybe how he called you is the reason why you keep stuttering and trembling like a shy kiddo: "Y-yeah..." you suddenly grimace, confused: "w-why are you here?" you question. "Oh, you didn't notice? i live near your house" you mouth a small "o" before you could even realize what he actually said: "Wait- what?!" he blinks twice, his hands involuntarily still gripping at your waist, a strange feeling intensifying inside the core of your stomach. “i. live. near. you.” he repeats, marking every word, not in a arrogant way, but in a beamy one. When he realizes that you aren’t going to say anything, he approaches you with an another argument: “Well, wanna walk together? I.N. told me that you’ll come at his party” you wide your eyes, following him hesitantly as he crosses the road. “What? No! Nono i don’t like that kind of party” He raises an eyebrow:
“…what kind of party do you like then? like a… uhm” he bemuses, you shake your hands, trying to clarify: “No! I mean… I’m the only girl in the group and i’m quite worried about it” when he turns his head to face you, you can’t believe he purposely holds your hand. “I understand, don’t worry! You know i wouldn’t let anything happen to you, right? Such a good girl, you don’t deserve to get into that kind of shit” you can hear your heartbeat booming inside your head, mind blank as you keep repeating his last sentence to yourself, barely capable to think at any reply. “Please, i want to know you better! Come with me, and you’ll be sure no one will make fun of you, or touch you in any way” he insists, tightening the grip on your hand.
okey, are you dreaming? are you in a coma, after a car invested you? What the hell is happening? All of your day dreams about him seem becoming reality as he’s begging you to accompany him. You’re not conscious of your blushing state in this moment, smiling pathetically, lost in yourself as you’re trying to realize your current situation. And you finally cooe: “Well, if you say so… i’ll be more than glad to come!”
Heesung raises a fist happily: “That’s my girl! i mean… happy to see you again y/n” he stops in front of a small, cute little house. He sighs, taking a heavy breath before continuing: “i live here… alone, so if you need something, you can find me here.” you bow slightly, smiling uncontrollably. “Got it! See you at the party, then.” He keeps staring at you without leaving: “What? So i’m not gonna pick you up?”
“Oh… uhm, yes! yes, sure. Sorry” you beam back.
“Okey, shall we share our phone numbers?” he asks, taking his phone in his hands, ready to take notes. When you’re both sure that the other has the contact saved, Hee shakes his hand and heads towards the door of his home.
The evening of the same day, you can’t help but keep fantasizing about how would it be to spend hours with Heesung at your side. Having him that close to you, would probably drive your mind nuts, but what if he was talking seriously hours before? He seriously wants to get to know you better? Well, if so, you’d surely go to that party. Knowing that it’s quite easy to convince you in anything when it comes to Heesung, you already start choosing what to wear at the party of the next day.
“Mmm” you scratch your chin, looking at your dresses hanging inside your wardrobe. “What should i-“ the loud sound of your ringtone makes you suddenly hop. You check the name written on the screen, snorting when you see the name of your best friend.
“What do you want?” you tilt your head to squeeze your phone between your ear and shoulder, picking your favorite dresses and throwing them on your bed.
“You’re coming?!! God, you fucking drool for Heesung, don’t you???” you hear Jeongin beaming through the speaker.
“Me? No, no absolutely.” you find yourself staring intensely at one dress in particular: the fabric of a soft white, its skirt’s quite short and has elegant lace sleeves. You choose that one, while keep listening to Jeongin freak out from happiness.
“Well, whatever. You’re gonna come too!!!” he starts to giggle joyfully.
“Yeah, now please calm down. Also, i have to go now, bye!” you end the call without even waiting for him to say anything else. The only thing you want right now is staring at the selfie of Heesung that he has set as his profile picture. So you did, laying on your bed, after putting carefully in place your dresses again.
“Ooh… he’s such so handsome and cute”
You whimper seeing the notification of someone texting you appearing from above the phone screen. A pang hits your heart when you realize it’s Heesung.
< Hey, tomorrow the party begins at 6 p.m. Imma pick you up by 5.45, is that okay? >
You smile like an idiot while texting back: < Perfect! >
That night you fall asleep, lost again in the thought of his cherishing smile and how simply gorgeous he always is.
And as soon as you do, as soon you wake up, squeezing your eyes from the warm light of the sunrise. You suddenly grip at your hair, your heartbeat starts accelerating as you process: “The party is today!”
Now that you have realized it, you can’t stop waiting impatiently for afternoon to come. You force yourself to distract your mind, doing chores and your homework, listening to music and practicing the dance steps you learned at your last dance lesson. Doing that you don’t even feel the hours that have passed, making you bounce slightly on the spot as you read what time it is.
“God i have to get ready!” you jolt while running towards your bathroom, starting to do your makeup. You keep checking the time on your wristwatch, and once you have your look done and prepared all the stuff you’d need, you leave the house and chuckle shyly as you see Heesung standing in front of his car a few meters apart from you.
“Hi y/n! How are you?” He approaches you, giving you his hand to help you get inside of his car.
“Pretty fine” you affirm after he joined you inside it.
The short journey was something you could define totally embarrassing, you were frustrated because you couldn’t do anything but stare outside the window and tap nervously your fingertips on the handle. He was the one that after some minutes that seemed eternal hours find the courage to speak:
“Uhm… that dress is so beautiful, matches your vibes a lot” he turns his head to take a quick look of you before his gaze could go back at the road. “Thank you, Heesung” you smile genuinely. He giggles back: “Oh please, just call me Hee. We’re friends after all, right?” what your previous smile seemed full of happiness, it quickly turned into a wounded one. “Yeah… friends”
———
Once you enter the apartment, you didn’t expect it to be so well organized: cute colorful balloons fill the living room, yummy snacks all over the table followed by soda and other drinks, background music to keep the welcoming atmosphere. When you step out the entrance you immediately see Jeongin’s friends casually chatting on the small couch.
“Naur way look who’s here!” Jake exclaims as he notices your figure standing in front of them. You chuckle at his funny Aussie accent.
“Yeah personally i know you couldn’t wait anymore to see me” Heesung smirks, heading towards Jeongin who’s trying to inflate other balloons. “Hyung i think these are enough, yeah?” he whispers at him, noticing his red, overworked cheeks.
Jake turns his head to look at Hee, grimacing: “What? No i meant y/n! Didn’t expect you to come” He approaches you, with the intention of hugging you friendly. After he pulls away, the other boys stand up to do the exact same. You thank Jay, Chan and Beomgyu as they compliment your curated look.
You spent a couple hours on watching a comedy show and laughing together. Your body stiffened any time you felt Heesung’s hand resting (apparently) innocently on your knee, when you saw him facing you while giggling as he enjoyed the film, it seriously looked like you were a couple, and you weren’t the only one who noticed that:
Chan’s gaze suddenly went to your knee, as he saw Heesung rubbing his hand on your skin.
“Are you hiding us something, guys? Seems like you’re very comfortable together.”
Chan’s your ex, so you could tell that his voice had some point of annoyance when he spoke.
“Yeah! I was about to say the same thing” Beomgyu smirks, moving his eyes on you and the fine guy who’s sitting next to you.
“Oh, it does? Sorry if i might stole her from you” Heesung appeals with his cocky smile.
“It’s not up to you, Hee” Chan replies, a slight look of arrogance on his face surprises you. “Right, y/n?”
“Uhm… well…” you struggle to find any appropriate answer, but nothing comes to your mind. Jeongin fortunately saves you from that embarrassing situation:
“Let’s play a game!” He stands up, turning off the tv. Jay and Jake that were still focusing on the program, whined at him.
“Fine” Heesung stands up, searching for your hand and heading towards Jeongin. A smirk pops into the childish friend’s face, he crosses his arm looking intensely at the both of you through his hooded eyes.
“Y/n, truth or dare?”
The moment after the other guys heard that iconic question, every one was sitting on the rug in a circle, waiting for their turn as they joined the game. It was quite fun, most of the dares were hilarious that got you almost rolling on the floor from laughter, but once it got repetitive and your friend seemed bored, Jeongin once again proposed you:
“Y/n, truth or dare?” this time his gaze is mysterious enough for you to suspect he planned something.
“Uhm… dare?” you murmur, not sure if you chose the right answer to keep your dignity.
“I see” Jeonging looks straight at Heesung on your left, before moving his gaze on you again. “Kiss Heesung”
Loud “Uuuh” fill the atmosphere as the guys find finally a captivating idea, everyone but Bangchan, who seems about to kill Jeonging with his stare and choke Heesung before he could touch you.
Panic starts to rush inside your veins as you turn your head and see Heesung smirking, you can feel the eyes of all the others stuck on your lips, waiting impatiently for you to make a move, but nothing, you couldn’t even elaborate any conscious movement. You’re like a greek statue, immobilized, your eyes focusing on nothing but Hee’s lips, your hand standing steady on the ingenious intent of wrapping it around his waist. Heesung chuckles: “y/n? are you’k?” he snaps his fingers in front of your face. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”
What it took least than two seconds, felt an entire minute for you.
You feel Heesung carding his fingers through your hair, before falling on the nape of your neck to pull you closer to his face, the tip of your noses rubbing against each other as he’s moving his lips closer and closer to yours. It felt warm, and soft, something you never experienced in that way, you could immediately tell that you would be addicted to his lips, if only he could be yours.
Heesung pulls away, exhaling a soft laugh as he holds your hand. “You good?” he asks, you nod: “Yeah. Yeah i’m good” you murmur, smiling a little before turning your head to face the others. Beomgyu, Jake, Jay an Jeongin are hyping the both of you, on the other side you can notice Chan squeezing his fists as he keeps staring at you. “What’s wrong with him?” you question yourself.
Jeongin giggles at you and Heesung: “I meant a peck on the cheek but well, this proves that you like each other! Thank me later guys” he stands up, taking the bowl of chips and starts to chew a few.
“W-wait- What?” your mouth hangs open, while Hee is simply smiling at you.
The rest of the party went great, you had funny conversations and ate tasty food.
Later, you head towards the exit, where you left your jacket and phone, you barely even check your new notifications, that you feel a hand resting on your shoulder, you expect it to be Heesung and uncontrollably smile, but once you turn your head to see his face, you find yourself a few inches away from Chan. He’s moving closer to your lips to steal a kiss from you. You pull him away, smacking your palm against his face.
“What the hell are you doing? Huh?” you screech.
“Come on, don’t act like you don’t want it, we were so perfect as a couple, you look better with me than Heesung” He gets closer to you slowly once again, but you’re too concerned to move. You jolt as you see someone pulling Chan away from you by grabbing his shoulder.
“What’s going on here?” Heesung looks at you before moving his annoyed gaze to Chan. “Why would you care?” he replies, with his arms crossed.
“Because she just rejected you a few seconds ago, don’t you get that she doesn’t like you anymore?” you can’t articulate anything before he wraps his arm around your waist and yell at the others in the living room.
“Guys, it was fun but now i have to take y/n home, see you on Monday” Heesung takes your jackets and leaves the house with you squeezed in his arm.
Not long after he stops in front of his house, you’re still confused from why he reacted like that before, you don’t realize that it isn’t actually your house. Heesung gets out of the car. “Come with me” he called you, heading towards the door.
Once you’re both inside, he turns to look at you, taking your hands in his. “You’re not interested in Chan anymore, right?” you nod: “Yeah, i’m not.” he lets out a relieved sigh. “Good, because i like you” you start to mumble incomprehensible words. “U-uhm…” Heesung notices that your cheeks are turning into a blushing state, making him chuckle. “You don’t need to say anything, just kiss me already, okey?” he slowly approaches you, getting closer enough for you to feel his warm, deep breaths against you nose, his hands are trailing soft lines on your back, sending you shivers down your spine. You automatically raise on your tiptoes, holding yourself onto his shoulder. You start to leave small pecks on his hot lips, struggling to stop because of the warm feeling of his body. Hee chuckles between every kiss: “i see, you love me, don’t you?” you giggle against the crook of his neck: “Yeah, so much.”
“May i take care of you? Show you how much do i love you, too?” he leans over you neck to inhale your sweet scent. “Mark you as mine, so you won’t get bothered by other guys?” you take a few seconds to realize what he actually meant with those words. “Uhm… i don’t know…” He caresses your cheek, attaching his lips on yours another time. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Please, let’s be each other’s first” You chuckle: “I can’t believe you’re still a virgin” he wides his eyes, smiling: “Why?? I had only a girlfriend when i was 14, you’re the one i fell for, after a long time.” you bite your lower lip, looking down to avoid eye contact. “It’s just that… i’m worried i won’t be good enough” he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as he walks backwards, heading towards what you figure to be his bedroom. “You’ll be perfect as always, my little princess” you can’t help but blush at that new petname, that stole another smile from you. A few seconds later he’s opening the door with you still holding at his waist. He sits on the edge of the mattress, looking up at you with doe eyes. You suddenly get shy as you realize that you started unconsciously to strip, hiking up slowly your dress as you expose your bare legs and stomach to him, the man that you craved for three years. He holds himself on his wrists, watching carefully every detail of your body, already struggling to contain any reaction from his body. “Oh god, you’re so beautiful” he murmurs, biting his cheeks to avoid any flustering sound. You jump onto his lap with your legs wrapped around his waist, Hee starts to kiss you deeply as you busy yourself by unbuttoning his shirt. Your tongue dives into his mouth, while trailing your hands all over his naked chest. You push him, getting him completely layed on his bed. You’re still asking yourself where did you find enough confidence to do all of this, when you bite on his neck, smirking against his red skin. “Untie it, Hee” as soon as he hears you, you feel your bra falling off of your body, hearing it thrown on the floor. Heesung grabs your waist, forcing you to switch your positions. You see his unmistakable smirk glued onto your face, but it doesn’t take long before he moves it down your breast. “Are you sure you’re ready, princess?” he asks you, caressing your waist side. “i trust you” “Glad you do, baby” he stands up, untying his belt before unzipping his jeans. Not long after he throws them on the floor, then focuses again on nothing else but you. Hee leans over you, making his way down your body with small kisses, once he reaches your lower abdomen, he slowly drags you panties down your legs. “So pretty, tell me…” he stops by biting slightly on your hips. “Want me to wear a condom? I’m clean, just to let you know.” you shake your head. “I’m too, and on a birth control” Heesung nods, positioning himself between your wided legs. “Got you” you breathe heavily, when you watch him dragging down his boxers, inhaling the air deeply to force yourself to slow down your heartbeat. You squeeze your eyes when you get to see his cock standing between your wet core. It’s just about a few seconds that you finally feel him burying himself inside you. He lets out a sweet groan, holding his breath when you involuntarily squeeze around him. “Fuck, didn’t expect it to be this good” he slowly pulls out, trying to feel every sensation. “Do you like it?” He watches your aroused face. “Yeah, please, go on” You watch him smirking through your eyelashes. “Didn’t hear you, may you repeat darling?” you sigh, smiling. “Huh, please i want you”
Heesung holds onto your knees, making sure you stay spread for him, while he slides into you another time, then out, repeating the same movements as he speeds the pace. You try to stay still, gripping harshly at the sheets beneath you, your eyes roll back as you feel him touching your sweet spot with every thrust.
“Fuck- just like that, please” you mewl, letting out whimpers when the pleasure builds tension inside your lower stomach.
He moans back once. “Never thought you could make such sweet noises.” he smiles, eyes shut as he feels himself getting closer to his climax. Surely the way you keep clenching around his length doesn’t help him to last longer, and surely the fact that his tip’s kissing your g-spot continuously from minutes is getting you to the edge very quickly. You let out a broken, high pitched moans when you feel pure arousal hitting your body, making you arch your back from pleasure. “Fuck- faster, now!” he does immediately as you say, slamming his pelvis against your thighs gap as fast as he can, the sound of your skin slapping against each other’s booms inside the room, followed by nasty, squelching sounds at every pump. Heesung leans over you to help himself thrusting into you better. “So close~ cum for me princess” Your breathe loudly, as soon as you cream around him you feel hot ropes of his cum shooting inside you. His thrusts become sloppy when he slows down, pulling out after a few more pumps.
“You’re so beautiful right now, all fucked out because of me, i think i like you better like this.” he leans over to steal another deep kiss, his hands reaching instinctively your bare breast. “You did so good for me, you need a treat babe” you smile the best you can, still trying to get down your high. “Like…?” Heesung leaves a small peck on your right cheek. “What about a warm bath? I said i’m gonna take good care of you.” he cards his fingers through your hair, caressing your forehead.
“Will you let me do it forever?”
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nayaheartskth · 17 days ago
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Glory Box
summary: prof! taehyung x student! fem! reader. in which mr. kim finally gives in.
warning: lowercase intended, age gap, taehyung is 30 - reader is 22, SMUT, mdni, raw sex (wrap it before u tap it xx), p in v, exhibitionism, praise kink but also degrading kink... idk y/n likes it all.
word count: 2k
!AUTHOR'S NOTE!: heyyy!! first ever post on here but also my first fanfic EVEEERRRR. idk much abt the american or korean school system saur dont judge🙏 idk guys I hope you like it!! also i didn't really proofread it so of there are any mistakes, lmk! feedback is always appreciated mwah >3<
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kim taehyung, the hottest prof at your college. no wonder everyone fails his class, ain't nobody paying attention to a word he's saying. how can you? with the way his shirt fits his broad shouders just right, tucked in his pants, the way you can slightly make out the print of his cock through his pants. drooling.
"alright, that's it for today. remember the assignmet due next tuesday and make sure to study for next week's exam." he speaks out to the class, making sure his students don't forget anything by the time they're back in their dorms.
as you were packing your bag, making sure you do not forget anything (like last time), mr. kim says
"y/n, just a word..". the way you turned your head, one could think you broke your neck.
"yes?" you mutter, confused as to why your professor would need you after class. you walk to his desk, mentally preparing yourself to get scolded for something you haven't even done.
"this has been like the 20th time you've came late to class y/n. i just can't comprehend how one can get to class late everyday?!" he states, his expression not so friendly anymore.
you look down at your feet, fidgeting with your fingers as you try making up an excuse as to why you're always late to class. the reality is that you spend so much time getting ready, especially for his class, that you forget the literal concept of time.
you want him to notice you, to look at you, to bend you over and fuck you dumb...
"i'm sorry mr. kim... i just spend a lot of time getting ready.." your voice barely above a whisper.
"why does one need so long to get ready for school?" he asks, confused.
"i just... i want to make sure i look good-" before you could end your sentence, taehyung interrupts you.
"you always do." he speaks, taken aback by his own comment. his intrusive thoughts winning.
"...sorry?" you trip over your own words, not realizing what just happened, what mr. kim just said.
"i-i'm just saying... y/n, you always look good. which is why i dont understand why you need so long to get ready, to the extent where you're late to class." he stutters, clarifying his comment.
"for you.." you murmur, eyes on the ground again.
mr. kim's eyes widen, posture straightening as he coughs.
"why that? if i may ask.." he asks, flustered by your confession but at the same time.. really, really confused.
"i just.. want you to look at me for once, for your mouth to say my name, i want you to notice me, mr kim.." you look up at the man standing in front of you, confessing your need like the world was ending.
he needs a few moments to register the words that came out of your mouth just now. taehyung takes a step towards you, cupping your face with his right hand. his very, very, very veiny hand with oh so slim fingers that make you wet just by staring at them.
"i do.. i notice you, i notice the way you stare at me with your gorgeous eyes. and i do look at you.. oh how i look at you. every damn day." he whispers, cheeks flushed as he maintains eye contact with you.
your heart feels like it's gonna explode out of your chest any minute now. he keeps moving closer to you until your bodies touch. his eyes now focused on your lips, as if he has been waiting for the day to come in which he can destroy them.
"fuck..." he sighs, eyes shutting. "you're making this really hard for me, y'know that?" he whispers, words full of lust behind them.
"do it. show me how hard i'm making it for you, sir." you say, voice low and bold.
taehyung doesn't hesitate when he crashes his lips onto yours, tongues dancing. his hands everywhere, your hips, your face, your ass, your back, everywhere.
you whimper into the kiss which turns him on even more. hand tangled in his blonde hair while the other struggles to unbutton his shirt.
you break away from the kiss, breathing heavily as you desperately try to get rid of his tie and his shirt.
"calm down now, bunny." he chuckles as he sees how desperate you are. his hand slides to the hem of your shirt as he lifts it up to get rid of it. leaving you only in your pants and your black, lacey bra.
"you're driving me crazy." he leans closer, hand on the nape of your neck.
your hands traveling to his bare chest as if it were brail. touching, feeling every muscle, every bump, every vein. your hands unbutton his pants leaving him in his boxers. you see how hard he is, for you. how his underwear is restraining him, waiting to break free.
you pull his underwear down, his cock springing free. taehyung is big.. like really big. you're not even sure how he's gonna fit. he winces at the contact ur hand makes with his balls. cupping and messaging them as he whimpers.
"y/n, dont you fucking dare tease me like that." he warns through gritted teeth. still cupping his balls you look up at him as you reply "and if i do? what would you do about it?" you ask head tilting to the side, looking at him with a hint of mischief.
"this." he replies as he grabs you and bends you over his desk. delievering a slap to your ass as he pull down your pants along with your panties.
taehyung takes his dick in his hand as he teases your entrance. up and down between your slick folds, getting you wetter by the second.
"fuck... please.. just-" you plead, eyes shutting. all you want is for him to slide his cock into you and fucking you until the only thing you've ever known was his dick.
"beg. beg for it you fucking slut." he hisses as he kept teasing your oh so wet folds.
"please, sir. i need you. need you filling me up... please." you beg like the whore you are. (for him.)
he slides his cock in, hissing at the contact of your tight, warm pussy. inch by inch he gives it to you. with every inch you hope he's done, but he's not. just how big is he? as he's now fully in you he thrusts his hips forward for the first time and you swear you see stars. hands gripping the papers underneath you as he keeps bucking his hips in and out of you.
his hands on your waist as he rolls his dick into your sweet spot just right.
"fuck... feel so good baby.." he moans, head tilting back aas he feels your pussy clenching around him.
his slim hands deliver a smack to your ass.
you moan at the feeling of it stinging now.
"want me to fuck you dumb, huh?" he asks cocky, still thrusting his hips into you.
"need my cock so fucking bad, don't you?" he grabs your chin to make you look at him.
"fucking answer me." he warns, grunting with every thrust.
"shit.." you moan as your eyes roll to the back of your head. "yes, yes needed you to fuck me dumb" you manage to speak.
you feel taehyungs thrust getting more sloppy as he's close. pussy clenching around his cock, feeling his every vein and just how long he is, you can feel yourself getting closer aswell.
" 'm gonna cum..." you whimper, back arching.
"cum baby. show me how bad you needed my cock." he grits through his teeth.
those words made u snap. the big knot in your stomach exploding. taehyung can feel you cumming around his cock and that's what does it for him. feeling your pussy clenching, he loses his mind.
his hips stutter as he releases his warm cum in your walls. painting them white. his heavy breathing calming as he comes down from his climax.
"that'll defenetly get you an A+..."
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