#this is just for the characterization of MCU Loki btw

[lokittystuckinatree]

Now that we seem to be at a stopping place for MCU! Loki’s character, time for a no context personal ranking of Tom Hiddleston Lokis

1. Thor 2011 (The Loki I base my Loki standards on)

2. Loki Season 2 (specifically episode 5 and 6)

3. Thor: the Dark World (you just decapitated your grandfather)

4. Loki Season 1 (peak mischief, angsty identity crisis, punk Jotun girlfriend. Rest sucked.)

5. Avengers (solid iconic Loki era just not my taste)

6. Thor: Ragnarok (Loki wrote a play. Loki being predictable chaos and afraid of change. Rest sucked.)

7. What If (for Jotun Loki’s eyeliner and shenanigans alone)

8. Endgame, etc. Loki was not in Infinity War ✌️

[gloriousburden]

(No disrespect intended towards OP whatsoever ‼️)

If you read any of my posts about Loki, let it be this one. I feel this is the best and most coherent I’ve been able to explain why I dislike the series so much.

Found this from a post analyzing Loki’s costuming throughout the MCU and it’s just… really depressing to me. Got me thinking.

(OP is speaking in favor of the series btw)

He had all freedoms taken away from him. Even the most basic such as dressing himself. He couldn’t even express himself stylistically/through his clothing.

‘He is forced to wear the same clothing as his captor.’

They’re aware.

Love and connection can change others, but this is him changing himself in order to receive that “love” and “connection.” (You guys already know how I feel about his “relationships” in the series, but let’s just go with it for now.)

Loki has never been loved or accepted for who he is, and instead of the series uplifting/proudly presenting those traits of his that haven’t been loved by others, they have him abandon those traits instead. You can only be loved or accepted if you change every aspect of who you are. You can only be included if you strip yourself of who you are. That’s the message the series/his characterization in the series sends. It doesn’t send a message of acceptance, and friendship. He couldn’t even be accepted “despite” who he is. How is him changing who he is to feel a sense of belonging acceptance?

(And I don’t even mean traits such as his coldness or harshness. No, I mean everything from his own way of speaking, his intelligence, his ability to stick up for himself, his ambition, his mischievousness, just… all of it. He lost even the non “difficult” traits.)

He wasn’t worthy of being loved as is. He had to conform in every way. From the way he expresses himself, all the way to his mannerisms. Consciously, and subconsciously. He rejected pieces of himself, to become like those around him.

I understand why the writers did this as they are ignorant and the series was never meant to be about Loki or about uplifting him, but to have “fans” accept this… Loki, I’m sorry they couldn’t love you for who you were. I know he’s not real, but it makes me emotional that the characters around him didn’t accept him for who he was, nor do his “fans.”

Ignorant “fan” talk aside, the writers in the first place didn’t understand that one of the reasons we love Loki is because he wasn’t loved for who he is. No one who truly loved him, wanted him to change and conform to other’s ideals. I understand that Loki needed to be dumbed down and stripped of everything that made him himself in order for the series to work, but no one wanted this.

To make the god of mischief, someone who’s chaotic in nature, conform to order… ooh, it is so irritating.

And this is one of the reasons I dislike the motives behind the costuming in the series. It’s not because I hate Tom Hiddleston and don’t respect his choices, or because the costuming is ugly (it is, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about), it’s because I hate what these choices represent. I hate the fact that people feel that they need to change every aspect of who they are in order to be loved, when there is always someone who will love you for who you are. I hate that it’s encouraged, and seen as acceptance when it’s nothing of the sort.

‘The new costuming shows humility’, as if Loki was ever allowed to be anything but humbled in the first place. As if he were allowed to be above anyone in the first place. As if he was able to be celebrated in the first place. Those “bad” traits, were never accepted. They don’t realize that just because Loki was the villain of the Avengers, it doesn’t mean he walked out successfully.

He was humbled just like in every movie he’s been in. Whether that’s him being rejected by Odin, disrespected by The Warrior’s Three + Sif, humbled by Thor ‘Know your place, brother’, tortured by Thanos, defeated by The Avengers, left to rot in a cell in the dungeons of the Palace he grew up in and was raised as Royalty in, denied the ability to say goodbye to his own mother after her death, threatened by people who were once his friends… You know I can go on forever.

I don’t think there’s been a moment where Loki was allowed to feel better than anyone else without immediately being shut down, denied, humbled, dehumanized, or humiliated.

So for that all to happen to him about a thousand times more in a series that was meant to uplift him… it just sucks. ‘Healthy self-worth and self- love’ he was stripped of who he was and constantly belittled, and did not stick up for himself. He just accepted everything that was said about him, and he accepted the disrespect. I don’t see how that is him having healthy self worth. He was treated horribly by those around them and instead of attempting to stick up for himself like in the previous projects he’s been in, he just accepted it. As if he felt he deserved it. He has less self worth/self love than he’s ever had.

He never got uplifted or praised or accepted or anything besides gaining new physical abilities and a new title. He’s been given a position he’s never wanted, because Loki’s always sacrificing himself. He’s always sacrificing himself the better of other characters, and other MCU plot lines. It’s what the MCU does when they get bored, or need to start a new plot.

I don’t want to see Loki be humbled. He already has been in everything he’s been in. He’s already been humiliated and made the laughingstock. I want to see him uplifted. I want to see him proud of who he is. I want to see him accepted.

I want him to realize he can be happy, even if he doesn’t belong or fit in. He can be loved for who he is.

The series did nothing of the sort, and I don’t know how people can be so unaware of that. Or if they are aware of it, I don’t know how they can accept it.

It’s not even the bare minimum “I accept you despite your flaws” no, it’s “I sort of accept you now that you’ve sacrificed yourself for me and changed every aspect of who you are, but I still do not like you as a person and I still won’t give you even the most basic respect.”

I want better for him. Not more humbling that he accepts without any complaints.

Loki I’ll always love you for who you are

[hazelcephalopod]

So mostly I try to just let the MCU be -for my own well mind as much as any issues with the MCU. But… im having thoughts tonight.

It’s been ages, and as I said I have mostly just been ignoring the MCU but I’m still not over TFATWS. So many disappointments, so many things could have been executed better. Like it was ok ultimately as a product. But I keep coming back to, who plotted this out and was in charge of characterization? Sam was ok, except for his entire background as a group therapy leader being utterly ignored. Or expanding much upon him as a character other than the bare minimum. Which actually becomes more an issue the more I think about it. And Bucky, I’ll get to Bucky. Then Walker is set up to become a guy I’m supposed to care about? Maybe? As a hero? No fucking way, that will be the day. Karli… geez… fucking a total mess that was. All the little things that they just didn’t care enough about it felt like.

Continue below for my rant about “What the fuck were they doing with Bucky in this series?”

So, Bucky. I know… I do but like he’s been around forever and I just don’t think anyone -well the hired and laid writers- knows what to do with him. He’s like the Castiel of the MCU -ok maybe not quite, that would be Loki. They just kinda throw him into the story in such a way that he’s intriguing! “Here’s the third(?) super soldier ever created. He was the second one’s, and first successful one’s, best friend. Like closest you can imagine. Would die for each other close, sleep with each other close -what do you mean gay?! Anyway, he’s supposed to be dead, but instead he was experimented on and has been cryo-hopping through the last few decades as a brainwashed dissociating assassin for the… Soviets? Hydra? Secret Nazis? All of the above? The baddies. Ok now the hero will have to spend two movies trying to find and free him, the most important person in his life (based on the content of these movies). All while trying to find love but for some reason he can’t…” like, yea it made me a little weird. It’s weird! And also sounds like an epic love story! Steve decided he must free Bucky from the brainwashing and mental chains the baddies have placed him in and through his love friendship he does! Bucky’s mind starts coming back to him, he is able to pull himself out of a state of deep dissociation tbh. It’s.. a choice. And then Steve chooses him over everyone in the world basically. So… that’s the basis of Bucky’s character.

So, now comes this series where the mysterious, dark hero with a troubled past and [gestures to that story above]. Is one of the main characters! Steve? He went back in time to be with his ex who a) died; b) lived a very happy life without him; c) leaves everyone he knows here. (Won’t get into that again).

Anyway, Series starts. Bucky wakes up from a horrific nightmare of the violence he was forced to do sleeping on the floor in a bare, in decorated, mostly furniture-less apartment. He is in therapy tho. Also, probation (which is a bundle of what the fuck). Part of his therapy is “He has to ask people he has wronged to forgive him.” Forgive him… for his actions… uh… his actions that hurt them… while he was brainwashed (with basically mind control technology)… ‘k. Right. So… someone decided “hey the brainwashed guy who, was being tortured into a state of mindless compliance.” Literally. That is what the pain chair did. “Yeah? Is uh… required to ask forgiveness to be absolved of his crimes. For the therapy for his PTSD or whatever. And then he’ll be forgiven by this one guy.? And he’ll be ok. Also he’ll decide to accept violence back into his life and end his therapy.” Right… that counts very healthy /s. (BTW I think whoever wrote this thinks that is perfectly fine).

Like, the guy I saw in Cap 2 seemed partially checked out most of the time. Possibly except to fight. In Cap 3 he could be sent into a mindless battle state with a couple words due to whatever torture he’d been through. There’s video proof! Wakanda did most of the heavy lifting, getting rid of the brainwashing (mostly). The therapy is just… idk, cuz? At minimum it’s bad, a bit negligent. Makes the therapist appear sorta incompetent at times. At worst it seems like a conspiracy and possible maliciousness on behalf of the therapist. But that’s never explored because it’s not what this is about. Which begs the question, why include it?

I understood the narrative, but there were deeper levels then “he feels guilty because he was controlled to do murders”. Like maybe it’s more complex than that? I can’t remember anyone saying “it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t you.” Or something to that effect. Even if that’s not what he wanted to hear I think someone should have said it and had that conversation with him. Idk. Just… just saying. Now he’s gonna be the healthy one in the Thunderbolts or whatever. Is that earned? Really? Idk man.

[bilbotargaryen]

First off, you can like the show. I am actually glad that the show has its audience because there are a lot of people behind it who no doubt worked as hard as they can to make it happen.

However, I would like to point out that even if I might not be interested in the current mcu any longer I still follow it closely and puzzle myself the picture together without having to pay the rat to watch it. Why? Because I once loved these characters and still do. I want to know what happens to them and I am actually also a big fan of good writing.

Unfortunately, to me, the latter is not with us when talking about the Loki Series.

So, if you say that this is not the same Loki as we know him - yes, I wholeheartedly agree (I might add that Waititis's Loki is a farce as well, but I digress).

However, you cannot ignore his foundations - his backstory and his character.

And, as you also noticed, in another response of yours, that was laid down by Thor 1 and Avengers 1.

There we learned that he is a frost giant who was raised as an asgardian. He learned of his true heritage after centuries, by accident and after centuries of stories on the monstrous nature of frost giants. That leads to him suffering under huge self-hatred (which does btw absolutely not work with being a narcissist (aka what waldron likes to call him often) where he would see himself as perfect and always correct) which he tries to remedy by proving to Odin that he is just as worthy as Thor.

And since Odin hates the Frost Giants so badly...why not destroy them to make your point?

As you seem to know the movie I won't retell it further BUT in the end he realizes he was wrong and since he believed to never be able to recover from that he decided to end it all and fall to his death.

However, through his frost giant nature, he is able to withstand extreme colds and thus survived, fell into a wormhole and was captured by Thanos. Thanos does not keep company without use. So, Loki offers his services (presumably, we never learned much about that) but must have denied attacking earth. Why, you ask? He wants to rule after all! (No, he does not - as he admitted in Thor 1) However, by attacking earth he would be unquestionably lead to Thor again. Which he does not want. Thus, he was subdued. First by torture, as the marks on his skin, his dark circles and mannerisms show. Then, by the mindstone, who, of course intensified his inferiority complex and in the end must have compelled him to do it. See his intense blueish eyes during Avengers 1. Another piece of evidence is the threat scene you saw above.

I will spare you the retelling of Avengers 1.

Waldron, as already mentioned, characterized Loki as a narcissist who only hungers for power and never cared about anyone. As you could see: That is not true. He has big issues with his own self-esteem (which, as already said, absolutely excludes being a narcissist), only seeked power to make up for his race and he deeply cared about Odins Approval.

What about his character? The way he behaves? Since this is as well a big part of the foundation of who he is. He is shown to care about his appearance. He likes to dress fancy and pompous. He cares about how he walks and what effect he has on people. And he is shown to be very intelligent.

In the show he is completely a-ok with dressing in an ugly suit, stumbles after other people (e.g. Mobius) and acts like a total idiot for everybody to see (e.g. the runaway scene after being imprisoned s1ep1).

His fighting style also changed gravely. In Thor 1 and Avengers 1, he fought alongside the Warriors Three by cunningly using knives and illusions. He went toe to toe with Thor and Captain America and showed that he was well versed in using different kinds of weaponry. In the show he does not even try to use magic until he is put on "trial" to learn it does not work. And don't get me started on how he was captured in the first place...

His fighting never improved btw. In the fight against "Sylvie" he used nothing but a hoover and his physical superiority from being a frost giant is never addressed either...he should overpower those human TVA guards alone with that.

And no Sylvie is not a "better bad ass girl boss version of Loki". Actually, she is all of waldrons mischaracterization of Loki and needs to be raised up by dumbing the main character down.

Finally, what would I have liked to see on the show? An exploration of the character that we were introduced to years ago. Does he come to terms with being a frost giant? Does he learn to use his ice powers? Is he able to forgive Odin? Is he able to heal his trauma? What does he do now after escaping Thanos?

I hope the paragraphs above put it into perspective as to why the new interpretation of the character just make no sense to me and many others.

And again, if it works for you? Great.

oh and btw jfyi writing such allegations like your last sentence really only shows that you cannot discuss things properly. And it is spelled "masturbating".

Are people srsly considering the scene where loki calles the NYC Incident "feelings getting out of hand" as good?

He would never fucking say that, man.

It is canon that he was tortured to do it. He was a whole damn mess during that whole thing and now its played down and straight up denied.

Am I missing something?

[worstloki]

You know what bothers me most about Loki's characterization? That it wasn't established at all.

Like okay they wanted to make Loki more comic-like (which I don't understand btw - they have plenty of characters in the MCU who aren't quite like in the comics), but they could have at least built up to it a little bit.

The show was made for Loki fans, for people who like his character. But many people are attached to Thor 1/Avengers Loki and then it just feels so off.

Like they had 2 movies including his past and they could have worked with that (I might add that I would die any day for his characterization in The Dark World). They could have made him more like this in the beginning and than slowly change his behavior, cuz he maybe is getting more comfortable, being away from Thanos and beginning to scheme.

Like my dude attacked New York and was mind controlled one (1) second before he appeared in the desert and than you just throw in a new characterization?

I honestly am trying not to care so much anymore and I enjoy the show, but they could have put a little more work into it.

i'm holding out that he's being smart and faking to play into what Mobius expects of him - that's been his go-to before :)

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told - Part 2 of 2

More Endgame and Baghdad Waltz spoilers ahoy!

This is such high praise, and I’m really humbled to receive it. Well, I would be lying if I told you I’ve never daydreamed about giving up my current career to write. I imagine many fic writers fantasize about this. But it’s hard work to break into, as you’ve implied, and there really aren’t shows out there like the old Star Trek that have open submission policies, so my understanding is that you’ve got to hustle to get your shit out there. I am not a person who has that kind of hustle, I’m afraid, nor the confidence in my skills, and I really do love my current career deeply. But I probably won’t stop writing any time in the near future, because it’s my sole creative outlet, and who knows what the future may hold. I appreciate your kind words very much and will endeavor to keep improving my skills to deliver better character arcs than Endgame did. I hope my next fic will be better than BW, in terms of craft and consistency, though people will probably be lukewarm on the subject.

Okay, I don’t want to go full SALTMODE (edit: I totally did), but let’s talk about this Steve who goes back to Peggy. Can we agree that Endgame Steve is about 110-180 degrees different from the Steve Rogers who went into the ice? And, really, why wouldn’t he be? He’s been through horrifying, horrifying things and placed the burden of it on himself, whether he earned it or not, because he’s Steve Rogers and that’s how he Steves. And he’s had five years to disconnect and sink into himself and pine over Peggy the Idealized Woman/Past and probably get horribly stuck in his grief process over Bucky and Sam and everyone else, and I imagine he just get all sorts of messed up after failing to reverse the snap. So, why would Peggy want this guy? Would she even recognize him? And then there’s our poor Ice Steve. I mean, shit, he was the one who Peggy probably really would have wanted, but did Endgame Steve just leave that guy? Did he set him loose? Tell him about Bucky? Help him find Bucky? Who’s this Bucky guy again…?

And now that I think of it, if Endgame Steve came back to her, would he say he’s from the future? Would he lie and say he’s Ice Steve (fat chance pulling off that one)? Because if he didn’t lie, she would absolutely insist that they find Ice Steve and pull him out. That’s the man she loves! And you’re telling me, movie, that she STILL chooses the weird disaffected, depressed, traumatized future Steve she doesn’t know over the Steve she loves and knows already — and who just saw Peggy, like, 20 minutes ago, as far as he knows?? (All of this is functioning on the MCU’s presumption that Steve capital-L Loves her back, BTW.) Did Ice Steve and Endgame Steve fight over Peggy? Did he pull the ol “Hey your BFF is actually alive” card to win the fight and then compliment his own star-spangled ass? I mean, this whole thing is so patently absurd that it’s almost not worth thinking about, but Jesus. It makes NO SENSE why Endgame Steve would get Peggy while Ice Steve would either a) stay in ice or b) not get Peggy, if he was in love with her. Poppycock!! This MOVIE.

Welp, I can’t do really anything in one or two sentences, apparently, so...

I will open with the caveat that I am not a Loki person. I have nothing against Loki, I just never particularly attached to him. This is probably because I didn’t really enjoy the Thor movies (except Ragnarok, which I know is divisive and may mean I have bad taste?) and so never got deep into Loki’s story. And I am one of the five people on the planet who didn’t like the first Avengers movie, in part because I thought Steve’s character was so off the mark that it made me wonder if Joss Whedon even saw TFA, and I just found the jokes and the pacing to be so mehhh. And also Joss Whedon has none of my respect, first for Avengers 1’s bad characterization and flat jokes, and second for Age of Ultron’s rampant misogyny poorly disguised under gurl power. Prima nocta? Really? And most egregious — Natasha’s random dating of Bruce (i.e., any penis without a family, a girlfriend, or a gay love interest) just to give birth to some shitty infertility narrative, as if the Black Widow doesn’t have a tragic enough backstory that she needs some bullshit sterilization procedure to make her a sympathetic figure — I’m sorry, make her “a monster,” which infertility apparently makes you.

ANYWAY, about Loki. If I were a Loki fan, I would be pissed about the way his story ended. I was pretty irritated anyway, because his death in IW only seemed to serve as a device to trigger Thor’s emotional journey in that film. And even then, it was minimized by Rocket being like, “So, dead brother, huh? Yeah, that can be annoying.” And yeah, that’s totally a Rocket thing to say, but Thor responds with “Well, he's been dead before. But this time... I think it really might be true…” and then he launches into his grief about his other family and his people. There’s hardly a sense that he’s grieving for Loki personally, and we never see any closure or interaction between them in Endgame, which also minimizes the character’s importance in the MCU as the big sendoff movie. Sure, he gets ahold of the Tesseract and gets to escape, great, but what does that even mean? It wasn’t a moment of major emotional valence.

The audience didn’t really get a chance to properly say goodbye to him. You got a horrific image of his death, truly awful, worse than almost any significant minor character. I cannot imagine what that must have felt like. I can relate to the Loki bad arc thing through the crappy way that Steve and Bucky’s relationship was barely tended to in the last two movies, but they both made it alive, so it’s not even the same. I feel dissatisfied and frustrated on your behalf that his death was a mere device and that his behavior on the Asgardian ship was stupid at best and possibly OOC at worst, I’m not sure what you thought of it. Maybe that was part of some redemptive arc, but he seemed like he should be more clever than that. My condolences for your character getting short shifted along with everyone else except Tony Stark.

Another interesting question.

Bucky probably hasn’t talked to Steve much about George, because it’s just too raw of a subject for him. He still blames himself for George’s death, too, so to think of George is to almost inevitably feel pain. I think Steve has surmised that his death is a core wound for Bucky, which he’s no doubt projecting his own experience of losing his mother upon, but I imagine he holds George in positive regard because the little Bucky has said about him has been positive. I really think the more telling thing is Bucky’s behavior, which is emulating George’s career as a soldier (which, as an infantryman, is more closely aligned with George’s than Winnie’s), and Steve would probably see that as a reflection of the positive role George has had. But like most things, Steve undoubtedly wants to know more, especially as he learns more about Bucky. He would want to know why Bucky has such a bad relationship with his own sexual orientation. Why he started drinking so young. I imagine he’d start to wonder why the math doesn’t add up. Steve knows Winnie well and believes that she’s a very good mother, so how would Bucky grow up to be this way if he had two wonderful, stable parents? Was it just George’s death that threw him off? Maybe, or was there something else? I imagine he’ll get more suspicious as he learns more.

That’s all for now! Stay tuned in the next week or so for Chapter 34. Thank you so much for the wonderful Asks and keep them coming! 

[calzonekestis]

My Endgame thoughts in 3,160 words and 17,025 characters. Under a cut. Spoilers, obviously.

Really. Truly. The whole thing.

Well. I texted a friend as soon as I got out, and I told him “that was a very good movie peppered with lots of shit that I didn’t care for at all.”

I don’t know what I think about it. If it was good or bad. If I like it or not.

If you read spoilers but didn’t see it, and we’re mad, I get that. I was mad too. I wrote most of this last night, and I’ve had to go back and amend it.

Also, please check your Tony vs Steve bs at the door. I like them both to varying degrees. That said I take issue with Steve’s choices and characterization at the end. We’ll get to that.

The Tony fans at least can say their boy saved the universe. They’re going to be mad still, but at least he went out in the best way possible if he had to die. Which he didn’t, but... we’ll get to that too.

The people who will be mad the most? Cap fans. Sharon Carter fans. Black Widow fans. Thor fans. Iron Man fans, probably, won’t be mad so much as sad. Actually, no, mad, because they probably wanted a happy ending for him.

So yeah. Is it “bad” if it makes so many people mad? Or are they just choices they didn’t like? For me, there was a lot of that. There was also a bit of characterization I didn’t like.

I’ll say this though, because the Steve thing that has everyone mad? I’m mad too, but per their time travel rules?

Steve didn’t erase Peggy’s family. They still exist in our timeline. Steve created a new timeline for himself to go live in. We don’t know if he stopped HYDRA and saved Bucky in that one, but I mean, we can assume.

So everyone complaining that he let all that shit happen? No he didn’t. This is an alternate reality he’s living in now.

If we go by what they established about changing the past not affecting the present.

But then we have Joe Biden Steve at the end, so... unless that’s a Joe Biden Steve who went from his timeline back to ours once he grew old. Not a Steve that existed and lived in the past of our current timeline. Then it actually works without contradicting their own time travel rules.

IMO... they ignored/ruined his character arc... but due to their aforementioned time travel rules, Steve going to the past wouldn’t affect that the present that he’s leaving.

So he COULD stop HYDRA, find Bucky, prevent Howard’s death, warn Hank and Janet about the missile.

That would all be an alternate timeline though, and our Bucky would still be the Winter Soldier.

So yeah, they contradict themselves... and completely fuck over Sharon Carter in the process. You know Steve didn’t tell Sam who his wife was, because he didn’t want him to tell Sharon that after kissing her he went back to marry her Aunt thus creating an alternate timeline to live in.

That’s the present being affected by him going back in time. Your time travel rules suck, Marvel.

So the children and family Peggy had? They still exist in our timeline, but not the timeline Steve created. The reality Steve created.

Okay so they don’t explain it, so this is just me trying to make sense of it myself. They say changing the past doesn’t change the present you left from, so unless Bruce was wrong and they’re contradicting their own rules Old Steve can’t have been actually out there all this time.

So I guess even though he didn’t show up in the gear and with the time machine when we see him, he did earlier, and just went to wait by the lake with the shield to be all dramatic? He probably waited to return until his Peggy died, and then he returned at some random point maybe like a day before they planned to send him back. He knew they would be there, so he just waited in his old man clothes.

That’s all I can think of.

So retroactively?

They had Steve kiss his wife’s alternate reality niece. I like Sharon Carter in the comics, I like what little they did with her on film.

They did her so dirty in the MCU, in the comics Peggy is almost a footnote and just part of his backstory. Sharon is Steve’s true love. Whether you ship them or not, they made Peggy out to be a bigger deal than she is in the source material.

I’m not here for pitting women against each other, but... God, the only woman the MCU has done dirtier is Betty Ross. Who should have been there with her dad at the funeral. Acknowledge her existence, Marvel. Yes they’re estranged, but maybe say having her die made Ross stop being such a dickhead and realize what really mattered.

Calling Peggy the love of his life is bullshit. Yeah, he had a date. Had. He never made it, due to being frozen. I don’t agree that they loved each other, tbh. I saw someone say they each had an idealistic, at times unhealthy attachment... but not love. Frankly? That’s not wrong. They liked each other. It never developed into love. Not in the timeline/reality we followed for the past ten years.

If this was their plan all along, then why did they introduce Sharon as a potential love interest?

Peggy is his past, Sharon is his future. The Lana Lang and the Lois Lane, respectively.

They didn’t plan this. It’s clear by how sloppy it is. It’s just so haphazard and insulting to all the characters involved, and yet Evans seems to be on board with it which disappoints but doesn’t surprise me.

Sharon didn’t have much screentime in the MCU, but every moment she had was important to the plot. She was one of the only agents that questioned Pierce’s orders. She held Rumlow at gunpoint even though the odds were against her. She let Steve know where Bucky was. She gave he and Sam back their gear. A lot of her scenes in Civil War got cut, and she got screwed by making it an Avengers movie instead of a proper Cap film.

She also got screwed by fandom. People acted like known like fucking toddlers, all because she was getting in the way of popular ships. Emily Van Camp was terribly harassed online, people calling her Steve’s beard or that it was icky and gross. Evans even said it was icky, which wasn’t that supportive of him... and then...

I liked Peggy in The First Avenger, but Hayley Atwell’s lowkey/high key narcissism is known within fandom circles, how she turned on Emily Van Camp and Sharon as a whole and threw shade at cons and on twitter and such. That left a bad taste in my mouth where I no longer care for the character at this point.

And they complete ignore/regress Cap’s arc of moving on. The fact he’s not the same man who went into the ice which is something even Whedon realized and addressed when he had him snap himself out of his Scarlet Witch!Vision.

The line from TWS they sampled for the trailer about the world changing and none of them can go back?

That was a lie. What’s ridiculous is that is the same exact directors, same exact screenwriters?

“Some people move on, but not us?” Well in that regard he had, so fuck that.

Speaking of regression, Thor’s?

I’m of two minds. He had depression and PTSD, but in my opinion, that’s end result wasn’t what Thor’s end result would be. He probably felt like he failed his people, but Jesus Christ, turning him into the Big Lebowski... fat jokes...

He becomes king, half his people are slaughtered and then and then he just... abandons the rest? To drink and watch his friends play video games? That’s sad. I think Thor would have felt like he failed and be hurting, but still try to do his best for the people who were left and still needed him? Instead of letting Valkyrie do it and the at the end to officially giving her the burden of ruling and fucking off into space?

And then at the end, he *officially* throws the burden of ruling in Valkyrie’s hands. Not that she isn’t capable, but it isn’t and shouldn’t be her responsibility.

“He’s being who he is, not who he’s supposed to be.”

That would be nice if it didn’t invalidate his arc. He didn’t want to be king at the end of Thor: The Dark World either, but at the end of Ragnarok he accepted it and was at peace with it.

Also, he didn’t need the hammer. Ragnarok made that clear. I’m glad Steve took it back with the stones, and I know it was more Thor needing to know if he was still worthy after becoming Big Lebowski... but it wasn’t needed. They just wanted Cap to wield it, and for them to have something else blunt to hit Thanos with.

This is the easiest money Natalie Portman made in her life. I feel bad for my friend who is a big Jane fan, as it’s literally maybe 15 seconds.

Nice to see Pierce, Sitwell, and Rumlow/Crossbones back, even if it’s only for a flashback and they’re all still dead in our reality. Or it would be, if it didn’t make the latter two out to be dumb. I mean, Rumlow isn’t a genius but he’s not just a dumb meathead. He wouldn’t just hand over the tesseract, he’d bring Cap to his superiors to ask “yeah hey what the fuck?”

Also, having Cap say Hail HYDRA is just... gross.

...Alternate timeline/reality Loki has the tesseract. I guess he’s the one the Disney+ series is going to follow. He’s wiped of all his development, though.

Vision is still dead. I guess maybe Shuri will rebuild him? Or it will take place between Civil War and Infinity War

So Guardians 3 is going to be about finding the alternate timeline Gamora who is now stuck in this one, huh? And I guess Thor is now a Guardian, or he’ll leave them between movies?

The alternate Nebula, I’m torn on. I think they could have gotten through to her, and she would be willing to team up with him. and would be willing to team up with them to kill Thanos. She never told him where the Soul Stone was. I mean, that’s why she aligned herself with Ronan. To kill Thanos. She hates Thanos.

Her wanting to make him proud and earn his favor despite what he did to her is heartbreaking on one hand, but the loyalty, when it’s been shown she’ll be disloyal and desert him if someone promises to kill him... idk. Btw.

Nebula should have gotten to kill Thanos. I don’t care that Iron Man started and is their poster boy. I’m sorry Tony fans. She deserved it more than he did.

Something else I’m curious about... was Peter Parker’s entire class killed? Not just Ned, the whole class. MJ, Flash, etc.? Because his entire supporting cast doesn’t seem to have aged at all in the Far From Home previews.

Also you’re telling me that in those five years, May never confronted Tony? Or if she did, we never saw it? Boo.

Oh, another dumb thing. Banner. Hulk. Professor Hulk. We don’t see how Banner made peace with the Hulk and became Professor Hulk, that all happens offscreen which is so cheap. He’s also just annoying throughout the whole film, and treated as comic relief? Also, the uncanny valley was deep this time around.

I’d honestly rather Cap had died as well, rather than the ending he got. Rather, if old man Steve didn’t show up, and there was just a cliffhanger of him being lost in time? Which has precedent in the comics? That would have been great. Instead of the bad characterization.

I’m indifferent to Tony’s death, honestly. He could have retired and raised his daughter. He could have died. I guess it’s cheaper to just kill him off and not worry about paying Downey for cameos they wouldn’t be able to resist.

Okay, the other death. Nat’s. I don’t care for it, but it worked. When I say it worked, I mean her motivations and the fact she at least had some autonomy. It was still fridging. It’s gross. It sucks.. but at least it wasn’t exactly like Gamora’s where she was a victim. I mean, she is a victim. A victim of gross writing, but... I like the character, you’re killing the only female OG Avenger for angst and drama... I would have preferred it was Renner, but her reasons worked even if I didn’t like it. I do think it would have been even just as heartbreaking/tragic though, it Clint had to give up his life for the hope of getting his family back. A devil’s bargain, they’ll be alive, but you won’t be and won’t see them again.

I question the hell is the point of a Black Widow movie now. Why should we care? Don’t get me wrong I like Nat. I have nothing against self contained, one-off adventures... but... it will be a prequel that doesn’t develop the character at all or see her grow and it’ll be inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. It may be enjoyable, but do we need to see it? It’s the Solo situation.

Do we need to see how the character became the character? What purpose does telling her backstory now serve, aside from just making people sad? Do we see how she started so we can appreciate how far she came, though? I can already appreciate that. You don’t need to twist the knife by making her origin her swan song. They can’t bring back our Nat, but who knows. Maybe the next villain will be Kang, and we aren’t done with time travel. Maybe we can have an alternate timeline Nat come into our universe like we did with Gamora.

A timeline where Clint was the one to die. I can deal with that, if they give ScarJo the money. I guess.

SCOTT LANG SAVED THE UNIVERSE. Well, actually. Also, a rat. A rat is responsible for saving the universe. I mean I laughed, but we couldn’t see Scott get himself out? He’s still my boy.

He’s probably my favorite character in the film. Seeing him and Hope reunite in the end battle was nice and made me happy, the way they didn’t miss a beat and got to working together. Him trying to keep it together when he talked about losing her. The end scene with them and Cassie. The fact she called Cap “Cap” and they shared a glance. Sucks for Scott to have missed five years of his daughter’s life, through.

Also, it kinda sucks that along with the people brought back, they couldn’t bring them the likes of Frigga and Quicksilver. Yes, they died, but you can still revive them in the present. You don’t have to make it so they never died. Maybe Quicksilver will Maybe in the WandaVision show, especially now that they won’t have to worry about a competing Fox version. Introduce her ability to warp reality. He was rumored to have been on set, and so I was expecting to see him in a flashback at least. Alas.

SPEAKING OF REVIVING DEAD CHARACTERS THOUGH. Why couldn’t like, Carol, use the gauntlet to revive Tony before they sent the stones back? She could take it. He didn’t need to stay dead, except for the fact... you know... Downey is expensive.

Something I find hilarious?

The kid from Iron Man 3 is at the funeral.

That kid knew nothing about the film whatsoever, except for the biggest spoiler? Cause if they invite HIM back to be at a funeral scene... whose funeral would it be, that he would attend, aside from Tony’s?

Oh, and SamCap. People, calm down.

I like Sam, Sam is worthy of the shield, Bucky’s not quite in a place where he’s ready for it anyway. In the comics Bucky becomes Cap, and then Sam becomes Cap after him. They can reverse the order. Bucky can still become Cap after him. Sebastian still has four movies left in his nine movie deal.

I’m curious about the Disney+ show now though. If it will be retitled, if they announced a fake title ala Serpent Society for Civil War. Although. I have a fear.

I don’t trust Marvel and I can see them killing Sam by the end of the Falcon & Winter Soldier series.

And then Bucky will take up the shield. Mackie’s 40. Idk how much longer he’ll want to be doing this, and he’s said in interviews he had no interest in bringing Cap and would like to see Sebastian take a crack at it, that he likes Falcon being Falcon.

Maybe age isn’t a factor. Bettany’s in his 40’s. Cheadle’s in his fifties. Paul Rudd is an ageless immortal who claims to be fifty. None of those are physically demanding roles though, not to the scale of Cap. The closest would be Chadwick Boseman, who is a year older at 41.

Age aside, I can see them doing it. That’s kinda the shit Marvel would do.

“Yay! We’re so progressive! We’re making Sam Captain America to placate his fans before we kill him! We won’t do that *just* yet in Endgame, we’ll wait to kill the black guy until he’s done helping out this other white guy figure out his place in the world!”

Now I’m gonna be anxious about that for the next year or two.

But so I think the shows are for characters on the shelf movie wise. Idk if when the show is over, we’ll see Mackie as Captain America in Avengers 5. It would be cool, but idk.

I don’t know if they’re even thinking of Avengers 5 at this point, or plotting out things like Guardians and Black Panther and Captain Marvel. And Eternals. And all their new Fox characters.

I guess the new Avengers line up will be Captain Marvel, Black Panther, Ant-Man, Wasp, SamCap, and Spider-Man? Maybe Doctor Strange?

Wanda retires to TV. As does Clint maybe, to train Kate Bishop and/or his daughter. Rhodey and Banner are just around.

Also. Banner and Thunderbolt Ross, at the end. Ross and the Hulk. Both in the same scene. Neither acknowledging each other or having any interaction whatsoever. Odd.

I keep hearing rumors about a Thunderbolts movie tho, from someone who was accurate with all of their Endgame leaks. I wonder if they want Ross to be the Fury of that which is why they’ve kept him around.

Bucky recently led the Thunderbolts but also Zemo is so ingrained in their history and I don’t see them working together at all.

I guess you could bring in Bernthal’s Punisher by that point if you want. Elektra. They won’t do it but they could.

Ghost would be a good fit, tho I don’t wanna see her be forced to kill people again. I can see them forcing her to work of a sentence. If she’s still alive, cause God if she was snapped and went 5 years without the Quantum energy... but yeah.

Bring back The Leader as a villain finally. Crap, I’m plotting a fanfiction.

https://twitter.com/rogerwardell/status/1070465411387404289?s=21

Idk. I just. Am disappointed but not surprised tbh.

Everyone knows I don’t like MCU Clint, but the callback interaction between he and T’Challa with the latter remembering his name was nice I guess. The final battle as a whole was nice I guess.

OH. And the exchange between Dr. Strange and Wong about if he brought everyone, and if he anted more? Probably not the intent, but to me it just seemed like a big “shut up” to everyone wanting the Netflix and Agents of SHIELD characters to cross over.

Also, a final critique?

The whole fake scripts, not giving actors a script thing. I hate it. I know like Mark Ruffalo and Tom Holland are notorious for letting spoilers slip, but I legit believe that a reason why A LOT of the actors got fake scripts was not to prevent spoilers but to prevent any of them going full Ed Norton and throwing a fit about the quality of said script.

Not letting the actors know the context of the scene they are performing is not only disrespectful but it’s broken and what can you expect but performances where they’re legitimately incapable of giving it their all?

That’s all I got for now. I guess.

I know it’s a joke, “I loved everything except for the stuff I didn’t” but seriously? I enjoyed everything except for the stuff I hated. Does that stuff ruin the movie? Do I not like it because I’m petty, or because it’s bad? You can not like something, it doesn’t mean it’s bad... but I think certain choices... were bad. Were very bad.

Was it shit sandwiched with awesome, or awesome sandwiched with shit? Do they balance each other out? Your mileage may vary. I haven’t decided yet.

EDITED: I replied to this in another post, a point by @chujo-hime, but I’ll copy/paste it on here since more people are likely to see this than our conversation.

“There’s no point in doing BuckyCap now that they’ve fridged Natasha”

I can’t fault you for feeling that way, and I don’t entirely disagree. have a theory on how Natasha could return despite them saying it couldn’t be undone.

Do what they did with Gamora. Take a version from an alternate universe/timeline. Maybe one where everything is the same, except that Clint died instead of her.

Whether or not they do this? Doubtful. Unless with the money they’re saving by letting another actor go (ahem) they give it to ScarJo to lure her back.

I mean, they have Kang back now. Next to Ultron, he’s one of The Avengers’ biggest villains. He’s also a time traveler, so there are ways… idk.

I’ve still not fully processed it. Whether Marvel is smart enough or cares to take advantage of their out, they have it. If nothing else, fans can exploit it in Fix-It fics.

ANOTHER EDIT:

Oh, what was the point of Ronin? I don’t mean sad Clint, I mean Ronin, aside from selling more action figures? He wasn’t even Ronin, they made him into The Punisher Lite. Ronin wasn’t Ronin, but I mean Clint hasn’t been Clint imo so...

[zenosanalytic]

...and then he THREW HIM at a GAGGLE OF GUARDS. THAT sums up their relationship: They're both pompous dicks with no self-awareness.

“Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day you’re you and I’m me and… oh, maybe there’s still good in you but… let’s be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.” (x)

[lokaneiscanon]

Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder rant

Seeing Natalie Portman returning to reprise her role as Jane Foster, nevertheless wielding Mjolnir, finally getting the treatment this character deserves, was surreal to say the least. I had just started reading Lords of Midgard, the 8th issue of Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018), and had fallen in love already. But I didn't suspect at all that Taika Waititi would pull this card in Thor: Love and Thunder, considering Jane was barely mentioned in Ragnarok. The news about my favorite actress portraying one of my favorite characters coming out of the blue - you can imagine the excitement. Alas, I quickly remembered what the fandom thought of that comic (at least on tumblr) and imagined it now growing tenfold, cuz not everyone in the MCU fandom reads comics but pretty much everyone wants to watch another Thor movie. And yes, many fans weren't ready for this step, still recovering from Sam Wilson getting the shield in Endgame. Which is completely fine. We're not obligated to like everything Marvel throws in our faces, we're allowed to criticize and express our opinion on the internet or wherever. What is not okay is mindlessly hating, and even worse - using false facts to support said opinion.

I have seen some people using the argument that it is one of Marvel's worst selling comics. Which has already been proven wrong by multiple sites, including Comichron, just Google it, as I did myself. I read multiple posts, ones saying how good Jane is doing as Thor in sales, others disproving this, so I checked for myself the numbers at the site mentioned above month by month to be sure. The comic truly had its downfalls as the story progressed but in my opinion it's normal for the 1st issue to have more sales than the 21st. If we compare it to Unworthy Thor, which started running a bit later and followed the now unworthy Odinson, the data shows the latter had more sales. But then again, while Might Thor was at its 17th issue, Unworthy Thor was at its 2nd. Also, they later crossed paths, shared comic issues, it's fair to say they go hand in hand and Jason Aaron, the author, probably doesn't want us to compare them, as they complete and compliment each other's stories. Still I decided to check the comic that made Thor unworthy in the first place - Thor: God of Thunder (2012 - 2014), which seemed to me more "comparable" to Might Thor (2015 - 2018). *I keep putting the years it was being released so as to not be confused with previous Mighty Thor issues, whole Odinson was still Thor, please bear with me* So yes, the numbers were pretty close, but from what I saw, Mighty Thor had the upper hand if we compare first issue to first issue and so on. (In defense of Odinson, we have to take into account that this data is only from the US and does not include digital sales. Also, he's been around since the 50s. We could argue Jane was a breath of fresh air that some Marvel fans were indeed ready for. As a non-American, and also a person without a hint of knowledge in economics I cannot take into account inflation and whatever else has prevented or enabled Americans to get their hands on the comics or has affected prizes through the years. Bear that in mind.) Moreover, from what I saw on Comichron, both comics had much competition - God of thunder was released along with Avengers vs the X-men, the Uncanny X-men, pretty popular at the time, and the Goddess of Thunder faced Civil War 2 and DC Universe Rebirth (yes, DC is in the game too), also dominating with tremendous sales for the longest time. Yet I stick with my original statement - both Thors are valid and shouldn't be put against one another regardless of profit. Because at the end of the day what will matter the most is the story. And boy, what a story it is.

Now, I haven't read the Thor: God of Thunder, but as I was doing research I found one very well written summary and explanation of Thor's arc and his becoming unworthy and I will post a link below, because I honestly feel I wouldn't be doing this comic a favor by describing it without having read it. Which I plan to do in the future, tbh. It's a fantastic prelude to the Mighty Thor (2015 - 2018) that I've come to love. First, I'd like to ask you all to stop hating on the comic without having read it first. It doesn't make any sense and being petty for the sake of being petty won't benefit neither you, nor anyone, really. Now, about the comic itself - the art is magnificent. It's just gorgeous. Mighty Thor isn't , thank all the gods, sexualized, she is pretty buffed and generally looks like a warrior. As it is with the other characters, I dare say. The background truly captures the essence of every world Jane finds herself on. Action scenes are just the right amount and balanced with dialogue well. On a side note, it's pretty funny to read/listen to in your head the Shakespearean English cursive in which Jane talks as Thor. The plot line branches beyond this comic, starting from Thor: God of Thunder and leading to the War of Realms. And it is elaborately built in every issue. You don't know what to expect, yet it makes sense when it happens. Which leads me to the characterizations. My God, what a treat Loki is in this. Clearly, my opinion is kinda biased, since he's my favorite character, but you never know which side he's on. What his motivations are. And it just feels so... Loki. His writing is brilliant. Almost makes me forget what the MCU did to him. Also, he gets some daddy time with Laufey (not as kinky as I make it sound). Frigga/Freyja is just as awesome as in the MCU, even more, at least in the comics she calls Odin out on his shit, who btw is I guess an asshole in every version and universe. Malekith, the main villain, is unbearably despicable, I want to tear every page he is on. He really was mishandled in the Dark World, if you want some true action with the dark elves, you are welcome to enjoy. I saved the best for the end - Jane Foster/ Might Thor. Now, if you think Dr. Foster spends her time boasting about her worthiness and how Odinson is just called Thor, but she is Mighty Thor, you are horribly wrong. She just... does her job. Because the hammer chose her. Because there's no one else to do so. That's it. If you think there's some feminism involved, yes, there sure is, but it certainly isn't the reason Jane became Thor in the first place. It was not the creators going SJW because it's trendy, as such a mindset is honestly offensive to any descent creator with any self respect, but a well thought out story arc, which, I repeat, you have to read the comic to understand. Jane is not at all whiny about the hate she gets in-universe, not only from foes like Odin and who-not, but from Shield and generally people whose asses she's saving. Her having cancer is not something they pulled to provoke sympathy and make her look like a victim - on the contrary, she is a damn hero and a victor. I don't want to give out spoilers, but her being Thor is actually a giant sacrifice that no one really appreciates (both in-universe and in the fandom). She is not Thor to prove she can be, or just to prove "women can be heroes" - she doesn't have to. She is simply needed by the realms and so she does her job, even though she is called a thief, persecuted and generally hated. All that matters is that the hammer finds her worthy - the beauty and simplicity of that fact you will find out, for the last time, if you read the comic.

I'm not making you read the comic or watch Thor: Love and Thunder. I myself don't know what to make of this film yet because there's barely any information about it. I only know it will be based on the comic so that's a reason for my hopes to be up already. On the other hand, since I didn't like Loki's characterization in Ragnarok, I'm not sure what to expect from Taika. There are valid reasons to not like the idea of Jane returning to the MCU as Thor, which you are entitled to. However, reasons such as "why does everything have to be political these days" are not. Because if I had to make a list of everything politically related in the MCU, it would take forever. Steve Rogers kills nazis is the most blatant example. Make of it what you want. But I think we're far enough into the 21st century to realize art and real life are not that separable. It's undeniable that art affects people and that is to say, people everywhere. And they all have different opinions and aren't gonna like everything media is offering to them. And I wish I could simply tell you not to watch the movie but I'm a Marvel fan too and I understand that I can't just take away Thor from you because I want Mighty Thor as well. But none of us can stop Marvel from producing it. So, to quote an image I saw recently, I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people. Let the rest of the fandom enjoy what they want to enjoy. Yes, ik I can play around with the tags and avoid posts that unnerve me but, for example, I'm looking up Mighty Thor fanart, which obviously isn't anti-Mighty Thor, yet I get attacked in the comics for anticipating a movie that doesn't even have a full cast yet. Ik I'm not asking for too much when I wish to get the same internet experience (not only tumblr, but also insta, YouTube, Twitter, any site) as the Thor Odison fans, for example. I'm aware I cannot stop all the toxic fans and the trolls but I hope this post has inspired those of you who simply can't envision Jane as Thor, or don't like Natalie Portman in the role, or whatever eles personal preference that doesn't involve political issues and isn't harmful to the community, not to attack every post on your dash with hate. The movie is called LOVE and Thunder, for God's sake. (on a side note, is a franchise that is too afraid to show LGBT characters for more than 1 minute so as to not lose profit from China, THAT politically correct)

Anyway, that was a veeeery long rant, sorry to whoever reads this but, like, please, I put effort into this, hoping this time around I won't be the only positive reviewer of a movie, like I was with Solo: a Star Wars story (yes, I'm still bitter about this), which was boycotted for no apparent reason but was a decent film in reality, and I'm only bringing it up because it has a similar experience to Love and Thunder for getting hate before even being released. I'm not defending a billion dollar company that flopped in box office once, I'm defending the viewer's right to media they are interested in. If you don't like the character, remember - that's your opinion, not a fact that the character sucks. Kudos.

Not very easy to navigate, I advice you to do the research month by month individually for comics you'd like to compare. Also, if you happen to find more reliable data, pls say so in the comments.

Here you have the summary and explanation of the greatness of Thor: God of Thunder, Jesus, I'll go bankrupt if I buy this one too.

Yes, I want to end the sales dispute once and for all, I'm tired of seeing it on my dash. This guy probably explains it better than I did.

@awesomejenlawrence you said you'd like to read this and I delivered

[lovedsammy]

All right, ya’ll, I saw Endgame! Major spoilers will be under the cut so if you’re on mobile and it doesn’t work, SCROLL, SCROLL, SCROLL. Also, blacklist ‘a4 spoilers’ and ‘endgame spoilers’! 

Overall? I loved it. There are a few things that REALLY bothered me/disappointed me, which I’ll talk about. As a star rating, I’d say 9/10. 

First for the things that bothered me so I can get that out of the way... 

Complaints: 

- Thor & Loki: It’s no surprise to some of you that Loki is my favorite character (with Tony in 2nd place), and I adore the Thor & Loki bond. So I wasn’t happy at ALL that Loki remained dead, nor the fact that the Loki and Thor bond was completely erased/forgotten. Thor didn’t mention him ONCE, and instead focused only on the bond with his mother, which was, admittedly, beautiful. But the fact that he didn’t think of his deceased brother at all really felt like a disservice. I think it was supposed to be inferred that that what’s Thor’s so depressed about during the film, but it wasn’t TALKED about and instead was played for laughs. Thor’s PAIN was made to be humorous because he let himself go and had a beer belly. And yeah, I can see how at first that can be slightly funny, but it’s really not, if you think about it. Thor was so consumed by depression that all he did was drink himself almost to death. He was a wreck during the whole film and was made to look like a drunken idiot, except for the ending. Making him gain weight just to make him ‘funny’ also rubbed me the wrong way. Being ‘fat’ is nothing to be ashamed of, or funny. Thor’s characterization this movie was a big minus for me, which was disappointing. Him leaving at the end with the GotG made some sense, though, and I’m hoping this will lead him on a path to maybe trying to find Loki, in the past or otherwise. Quill trying to find past!Gamora... maybe it was a hint. 

- Going back to Loki, he showed up in flashbacks from Avengers 2012 which really made my heart swell. Him rolling his eyes at the Avengers, waving ‘bye bye’ to the Hulk sarcastically when he had to take the stairs, taking the opportunity to snatch the Tesseract, not once but twice, and disappearing to God knows where? LOVED IT. It was so nice to see him again, no matter in what capacity. Though I still wish he’d come back for real, ESPECIALLY in that battle at the end. It wouldn’t have taken much more screen time, honestly. They could’ve just shown him arriving with the others at the return, have him fight side by side with Thor, and address Thanos. Maybe hint at some possible control, imprisonment, torture from Thanos? It could’ve paved way for the Loki series. Although, I guess this 2012!Loki disappearing with the Tesseract can achieve that, too, but it would erase all of the development Loki has achieved, and I loved the development. I loved his path to redemption. If they do this, I want a redeemed!Loki, who has a place among the Avengers, not a villain again. 

- Gamora not coming back. I mean, I loved seeing her as her past self, but again... she died by being killed by her abusive father. It leaves a bad taste. 

All right, on to everything else! 

Things that I loved: 

- Nebula and Tony’s friendship! I loved their dynamic a lot. Nebula taking care of Tony, and sitting him upright? My heart. <333

- Tony’s reunion with Steve. Omg their dynamic was FANTASTIC this movie. No leftover resentment from Civil War. It really made me love their friendship that much more. 

- Tony’s reunion with Pepper!

- “I lost the kid. I lost the kid.” The first part I got choked up, of many. 

- omg Scott coming home to see 5 years have passed and his daughter is a teen? omg I couldn’t even handle that. I loved older Cassie, though! 

- THOR GETTING TO KILL THANOS FOR REAL. OMG I CHEERED. It didn’t help his vendetta, though, and once the revenge was complete, he had nothing left, which makes sense. His hate for Thanos was what drove him in Infinity War. He fell into a huge depression once that was taken from him. And why I wish, again, that this hadn’t been used for laughs!

- TONY AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! omg dad!tony was the CUTEST AND SO WAS MORGAN. Tony’s my 2nd fave character in the mcu, so seeing him happy, living life with his wife and daughter? perfection. The “shit” scene was both hilarious and sweet. “Go to bed or I’ll sell or all your toys” and Morgan laughing because she knows he won’t. <3333333333 

- “I love you 3000″

- Clint and his family!

- Natasha saying that her family is the Avengers. 

- the time travel was well utilized, even if it makes my head spin a little. XD 

- LOKI LOKI LOKI 

- “that is america’s ass” lmao

- steve saying ‘hail hydra’ and it WORKING

- tony and steve just KNOWING how each other thinks and using that to formulate the same plan, of going back to grab the tesseract? genius! 

- There was so much foreshadowing in this movie at the beginning and middle of how this was going to end. Tony was unwilling to help at first because he didn’t want to lose what he had gained, and Steve kept saying he was over Peggy but by looking at her in the past, it was clear that he wasn’t, and that was where he wanted to go. I’ll touch on both those things more later.

- Tony getting to talk to his father, and finally come to terms with that relationship, and understanding/loving him... ow my heart. That hug was amazing. 

- Thor getting to talk with his mother, getting that closure as well. This movie centered a lot on family. 

- Clint willing to die to get the soul stone, but Natasha also willing to, and fighting over it, who had the strongest will to sacrifice themselves for everyone else. Their dynamic is also one of my favorites, and even though Clint is happily married with a family, part of me still ships them, and I loved those final moments together. 

-”Let me go. It’s okay.” Natasha’s death was one of the first scenes that got me outright bawling. I adored her, and her death hit me hard because I was NOT expecting it. And for her to die as she did, willingly, with no restraint.... she wiped the red out of her ledger for sure. :( R.I.P Natasha. I’m so sad that they couldn’t even get her body to give her a proper burial. And everyone’s reactions after... devastating. 

- I didn’t think Bruce using the Gauntlet was going to work at first. But once Clint’s phone started ringing, I breathed a sigh of relief and just waited. Then past!Nebula had to ruin everything by getting Thanos to blow up the Avengers HQ.

- Touching on this, btw: Thanos really is the Avengers strongest opponent. He was too clever using the two Nebulas (UGH) as he did, and he almost won again without even breaking a sweat. 

- The. entire. fight. Literally, all of it. Thor using both of his weapons, Tony and Steve giving it their all... omg. 

- The second Steve used Mjolnir, my entire theater screamed, and same, tbh. Thor’s “I KNEW IT!!” was everyone. It was nice continuity with AoU when Thor’s expression hinted that Cap was worthy. YES. 

- It took me a minute to realize that Sam was back, and when it did, I sat there going “IS IT REALLY IS IT REALLY IST THIS HAPPENING OH SHIT”

- AND IT DID!

- Everyone coming out of that portal, focusing on each of them. Omg the theater erupted. 

- “AVENGERS.... assemble.” cHILLS 

- WANDA GETTING BACK AT THANOS’S CRAZY ASS, HELL YES! “I don’t even know who you are.” “You will.” YES, QUEEN. 

- THE WOMEN TEAMING UP!

- Tony and Peter. The hug! The shock from Tony that this boy that he looks at as his own son, the relief that he’s alive, okay.. hi i’m crying again. 

- The second Stephen raised that single finger, and Tony knew what it meant. And we all knew what it meant... 

- “I am inevitable.”  “I am... Iron... man.” 

- Tony’s death hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was sobbing before he’d even collapsed to the floor. Watching the color drain from his face, and his body become so badly damaged.... I knew it was over for him. 

- “We won, Mr. Stark. Come on, you did it, sir, you did. I’m sorry, Tony.” I CANT EVEN HANDLE THIS. PETER DIED IN FRONT OF TONY, AND NOW TONY DIES IN FRONT OF HIM. This surrogate father/son duo hurts me and I feel so much. 

- PEPPER AND TONY. THEY DESERVED BETTER, DAMN IT. THEY DESERVED TO BE HAPPY AND TONY DESERVED TO WATCH HIS DAUGHTER GROW UP. ;A; “We’re going to be okay. You can rest now.” Rip out my heart. Just rip it out. 

- As painful as Tony’s death was, it also felt.... perfect, in ways. He gave up his chance to keep things as they were to save everyone else. He did tHAT. He gave everyone else their families back. He died a hero, a true hero. I feel more at ease with Tony’s death, despite how unfair it was, because unlike Loki, Tony had achieved everything he meant to. He had a little girl who he loved so much and was an amazing father to. He had a son, who he taught to be a hero, too. He had a wife who will go on to keep Stark Enterprises alive. They’re Tony’s legacy. 

- The funeral was SO heartbreaking, I was a crying mess. Happy and Morgan... :( </3

- ok so I’m 50/50 on Steve’s ending. He goes to return the stones to their proper time, and then stays behind to have a life with Peggy. Which, I mean... I’m not opposed to, and I think Steve deserves his happy ending too, but... it also hurt because not only was he leaving Bucky behind, he also left his friends behind. Friends that were already hurting from losing Natasha and Tony. And then to leave them like he did.... it felt... I don’t know, not wrong, but insensitive, considering what had just happened. Everyone had lost enough, and then they had to lose Steve, too. Although, I see his frame of mind. He’d lost so much as well. He wanted to have something for once, something happy, and he took it. I can’t blame him for that. I just wish his timing had been better. 

-Bucky just knew that Steve wasn’t coming back as himself. He knows him so well. And his nod at Sam to let him take up the mantle... I knew it was going to happen, but I thought it’d be different. I’m fine with this, though. Steve’s retired. He can rest now. 

- Tony’s voice over at the end was beautiful and perfect. That is all. 

I loved this movie a lot, and can’t wait to see it again eventually! I had complaints and things I wish they’d done/fixed, but overall, the good outweighed the bad. 

[theonceoverthinker]

Endgame Thoughts!

Spoilers under the cut!

SPOILERS COMING

SPOILERS COMING

SPOILERS COMING

IN CASE YOU DIDN’T READ THE FIRST FEW WARNING, SPOILERS COMING!

...I know I already did a cut, but I wanted to protect anyone who clicked it absentmindedly.

Because I love you guys!

ANYWAY!

-TONYYYYY! He’s my favorite MCU character and I’m so sad he’s gone, but DAMN did he go out in a blaze of glory! “And I am Iron Man.” Talk about a full circle! And his death scene...JEEZ!!! I CAN’T! HIS BITS WITH PETER AND PEPPER...I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL!!! And I loved his final holographic message! It allowed for Tony to have an incredible final monologue in a really fitting character way. And it was specific to his family, but also not out of place as it played over everyone else’s reunions!

-I adored the pan through of everyone at the funeral. Tony and the team have grown so much and so close and seeing them come together to mourn and celebrate Tony was one of the film’s most beautiful moments.

-I love the five year time skip. Or rather, it broke my heart, but I love how that actually allowed there to be a real tangible impact on the world post-Thanos’ snap that can’t be taken back. The world fell into chaos, families were torn apart and had to rebuild, some people went off the deep end. And it also had a benefit that in a way, gave this aspect of the timeline emotional stakes: Morgan!

-This isn’t bad, per se, but I was kind of laughing during Clint and Natasha’s race to death. It was like a Looney Tunes cartoon! XD Don’t get me wrong, once Nat was falling, I was emotionally aligned with the scene and all, but the buildup was kind of funny in how they used every gadget possible to make it off the ledge! Even their jump faces were funny! XD I’M SORRY BUT SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT!!!

-Tony and Nebula’s friendship was something I didn’t know i needed, but now I just want an entire TV series of them becoming friends. That finger football scene was so cuuuuuteee! Both of these guys need more fun in their lives! Also, “You won.” I cosign everyone else who pointed out how amazing that was! I NEED more Nebula in my life!

-Captain Marvel had me cheering EVERY time she was on screen! First, she saved my babies Tony and Nebula. THEN, she kicks the holy crap out of Thanos! And THEN she shows up for the final battle as she draws away enemy fire and glows like a goddess! And the entire time, she’s clearly showing how she’s the best and just...everyone goes with it!

-Morgan Stark is adorable and I hope we get to see more of her! Maybe she and Pepper can show up in the next Spiderman movie. Like, they meet up so they can grieve together and since Tony cared for Peter like a son, Pepper will invite him into their family. But yeah, I love her 2000 (Because Tony will always love her more)!

-And SPEAKING of Spiderman, Peter Parker is such a sweetie! He’s so polite and kind and I’m so happy Tony hugged him because SOMEONE had to! He must be protected at all costs and I’m glad he’s got his friend to support him! But he is going to have the WORST Father’s Day ever. Poor kid!

-It doesn’t look like we’re getting a Loki resurrection, but I did appreciate how many times he appeared in this movie. Tom Hiddleston is just a really expressive actor, and I’m gonna miss him so much!

-I had a feeling Cap might decide to stay in the past. And it was a really nice send off of the character. So I didn’t see the first two Captain America films, but the full on Avengers films have done a good job establishing who he is so I more or less felt the impact of his relationship with Peggy! I also hope old Cap shows up to give wisdom to some of our modern heroes every now and then. They basically recast him so depending on the new (old) guy’s contract, we might see him again.

-I was surprised that the Falcon was chosen to yield the shield, but honestly, pretty happy! He can fly AND has a vibranium shield filled to the brim with awesome sauce! That’s gonna be so fun to see in battle!

-CAP CAN YIELD THE HAMMER! Btw, where IS the hammer? Cap had it when he left to go to the past. Is it just chilling in his house? I wanna see someone else lift it! LET’S MAKE THAT A PLOT POINT IN THE NEXT FALCON MOVIE!!!!

-I wish Okoye had more to do. Even if she wasn’t going to the past, maybe there could’ve been something more she could do on the sides to help out with.

-Scott’s reunion with his daughter off all things had me SOBBING! I think that’s partially the case because I saw Ant Man and the Wasp maybe two weeks before seeing this.

-So, is past Gamora gone? We didn’t see her fade away, but given how she wasn’t at the funeral nor on the ship, it seems like it. I feel like that’s a deleted scene, and probably shouldn’t have been. BUT it also looks like Peter’s searching for her, so you never know. This might be what happens in Guardians 3!  I’ll be honest, I was expecting the Guardians to throw the Soul Stone back into the pit and for Gamora to be able to come back up, but that doesn’t seem to be happening at all.

-Also, Thor’s a Guardian of the Galaxy (Or rather, an ASGUARDIAN of the Galaxy) now? Guardians 3 is gonna be interesting. And I love that Nebula’s now an official part of the team. I’m honestly excited to see her dynamics with Rocket (since they were basically besties for five years) and Quill (They are gonna be FUNNY as all hell!)!

-I like how Iron Man, a character often shown to be selfish, ended the series doing about the most selfless thing you can do and Captain America, whose very presence in this era is characterized by a selfless act, allowed himself to do something that was in a way, a bit selfish. That was a great end to their respective character arcs!

-I’m not sure how I feel about the Hulk at the moment. Or Thor. I’m gonna need a bit more time to search my feelings for those.

-I love how the last Avengers film barely had any Scott or Hawkeye and this film had ALL of the Scott and Hawkeye! XD

-The “Come and Get Your Love,” “America’s Ass,” and “Heil Hydra” jokes had me and my theatre in STITCHES!

-THE LADIES OF MARVEL SHOT IS ALL I NEED IN THIS WORLD!!! <3 I can die a happy lady! But seriously, I want that as my social media EVERYTHING! I may be theONCEoverthinker, but hey -- change is good, am I right?

-Small detail, but I’m pretty sure that we had an outwardly gay couple mentioned during the support group scene! I hope we see that more overtly and with a more prominent character *cough* CAROL DANVERS *cough* going forward, but it was a nice moment.

-I appreciate that the only reason why we didn’t get more Carol in this movie was because she was being a hero on other planets!

-THAT SAID, I wish we saw Carol and Fury talk! It’s been so long since they’ve seen each other! You’d think she’d at least ask how Goose has been doing, am I right?

...I feel like I’m eventually gonna have more to add to this, but for right now, that’s the bulk of my thoughts after a night’s worth of reflections. XD

[icyxmischief]

What movie do you like/dislike more: Thor Ragnarok or Avengers Infinity War?

//My short answer is I hate them BOTH, lol, but for different reasons.

My long answer: 

Agh so.  This is difficult to answer because the problems inherent to the two movies are very different, making it hard to compare and contrast them objectively; and because the entire Thor franchise is probably the weakest of the MCU, so basically all the Thor movies are Not Super Great (though I was actually quite fond of Thor 1 and Thor: The Dark World, because they kept Loki’s characterization intact, and that is how I measure/rate these movies for my own personal gratification). 

I think, despite all of Ragnarok’s critical acclaim, and all of Infinity War’s panning, I still was upset more by Ragnarok.  This is because, while as an academician and leftist I believe that satire and farce are powerful tools of social discourse, and Ragnarok was very much a critical self-farce, I think Taika Waititi  overdosed the audience on it.  It wasn’t WHAT he did so much as HOW MUCH he did it.  He did something that–even though they killed him off with an inexplicably weak plan of attack in the first ten minutes of the movie–the Russos did NOT do.  And that was to make Loki a weaker character in order to exalt Thor.  

Nothing. NOTHING. Makes me angrier as a writer than that cheap tactic. If a protagonist is already strong and well-rounded, then there is no need to diminish another character beside him.     

Moreover, I felt as if Waititi was making fun of the audience for Loki’s popularity as a character, beginning with the play he put on and how it, and other scenes, reduced the subject of –a nervous breakdown –a suicide attempt –internalized racism and Otherness ( “my blue baby,” that was…gross)–legitimate PTSD from being in the custody of Thanos (I have PTSD so this really felt shitty to me on a personal level) –and legitimate incidents of parental gaslighting and emotional abuseto a JOKE.  

“We really shouldn’t be concerned about Thor and Loki’s problems,” Waititi himself said in an interview.  Really.  REALLY? You REALLY just see them as entitled rich white boys who are being whiny?  When Loki in particular is queer and racially Other. REALLY.   I walked out of the movie theater feeling ASHAMED of my love for Loki, of this blog, of all my meta deconstructing him as a symbol of real socio-ethnic and cultural oppression.  And I don’t think that’s cool.  Media makers in a given fandom should inspire the audience to engage with the content MORE, not LESS. 

The Russos gave Loki his moment of choice, his moral threshold, his ultimate test, and while it was brief, nothing has defined Loki more than what sort of person he chooses to be vis-a-vis Thor. So somehow, that read to me as more respectful of Loki as a character. In other words, even though they broke my heart, and even though the rest of Infinity War is a convoluted, boring dumpster fire, Loki was allowed TO BE LOKI AT LOKI’S BEST.  Loki thrown away in a hasty death for the sake of Thor’s manpain, which I ALSO HATE, particularly given it’s also done to manipulate the audience’s emotions……but it still afforded the Odinson brothers what Ragnarok did not:

Dignity. 

So basically in short, Ragnarok was a better OVERALL movie, but Loki’s screentime in Infinity War was truer to the character, as well as to Thor’s (even though his death seemed beneath his own powers and capacity for cunning).  

As bizarre as it sounds, since he DIED in Infinity War, I feel like the Russos showed Loki more respect than Waititi did. And it’s all because Waititi (and Chris Hemsworth too) was myopic about making Thor and only Thor look valorous (making Thor, btw, ironically, just as ooc as Loki).  Even though Thor granted Loki the chance to trigger Surtur, in a display of “trust,” it was after Thor framed anything Loki did, like a narcissist and a bully would, on his own terms and conditions, and boy did that sour my stomach (you know something is wrong with the structure of the narrative when Thor tells Loki “I thought the world of you” and you’re as surprised as Loki is). 

In fact, that’s another reason why I prefer Infinity War to Ragnarok: how THOR is written. 

Ragnarok regressed Thor to the entitled bully he had been before his exile to earth, and it diminished Loki to the state of Thor’s submissive sidekick, or comic relief, in the process.  Infinity War, despite going far too grimdark, and being dreadfully poorly executed, and trying to make us feel sorry for Thanos, who is the least sympathetic abusive asshole to ever exist, at least gave Thor and Loki their dignity.   There was a smidgeon of an acknowledgment that certain things are beyond being made into jokes.  

Because honestly? Jokes are powerful. Humor is powerful. It’s a weapon.  It should be wielded wisely. Just because something is “funny” doesn’t reduce its capacity to do real damage. Taika Waititi is a great filmmaker and I believe he’s a good person too. But he hasn’t learned this lesson, and he shows no interest in doing so. 

[stormblessedcastiel]

The MCU Generation

So I’ve been thinking about Marvel a lot lately. Specifically Infinity War. And I have some Feelings™, so I just thought I’d share. This is probably going to be long and super inaccurate and cringe-y, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I just wanted to get it out of my system. BTW there will be lots of spoilers.

Iron Man was released in 2008, and many people including me consider it the true beginning of the cultural phenomenon that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I was eight years old when it came out, man that makes me feel old. I didn’t really know much about/pay attention to/care about superheroes much at that point, but my dad liked those kinds of movies so I had watched things like the Tobey Maguire spider man movies and Christopher Nolan’s batman movies (the first two were out at that time). They didn’t really hold much interest for me at the time. Iron man rolled around and dad seemed excited about it, but it still just seemed like another comic movie that the family would maybe re-watch if it were on TV or something. No big deal, right? Well, time went on and I started to hear talk about a bigger story. Iron man 2 came out when I was 10, and introduced nick fury and Natasha Romanoff. Still, I paid little mind to the film besides casually enjoying it like any other decent action film. Then came Thor. One year later, we got the first taste of the universe outside of Tony Stark, and that universe was much larger than I had anticipated. Looking back, the first Thor movie was definitely not the best superhero film ever made, but it did a lot of things right. Most importantly, it set the stage for more heroes who quickly joined ranks. It’s at this point that I feel the MCU really started to gain traction, at least from what I was hearing. My eleven-year-old self was beginning to view this collection of movies as something with potential, something to get excited about. In that same year, Captain America: The First Avenger hit the big screen. This is where I became truly and totally hooked. I don’t know what did it, but something about the story, the characters, or the message seemed to grab my full attention. This was the movie that had me craving the next installment. It probably helped that at about twelve years old I was starting to enter the social media world, if only in small doses. I discovered Pinterest and quickly realized that other people around my age (maybe a few years older) were talking about these movies, interacting with each other, making jokes and edits and headcanons. If I wasn’t invested in the MCU characters before then, that changed rapidly. Seeing other people’s takes on what the heroes thought or did off camera, speculation about subtext relationships, comparisons and continuations of themes from the comics, all mushed together to bring me closer to this Story than I had ever been before. So I was ready for Avengers. The Big One. The superhero movie that did what no superhero movie had done before. It brought together a cast from multiple movies into one glorious world-saving group. By this point, everyone could see that this franchise would make an impact. It truly was an entire universe, and we had just touched on the surface of this super team potential. Fans were everywhere; people at school, on the street, in commercials had their favorite heroes’ logo somewhere on their clothing or bag. There had never been (or I maybe just never noticed) such a widely spread media infatuation. 

Then came phase two. Iron man 3, Thor dark world, captain America winter soldier, guardians of the galaxy, age of Ultron, and ant man. These came out between my 13 and 16th birthdays. In my opinion (back then and now), none of these movies were quite up to par with those of phase one, but nostalgia may have already been clouding my judgement, even after just a few years. However, they did give us more characters to love, and also let us enjoy learning more about our old faves. I think this phase was Marvel kind of trying to find their footing in this huge undertaking they just opened up, trying to figure out how to write their stories now that they had to feel like they were in such a large universe?? I don’t know, it just feels like Phase One took place in a box the size of a fridge, and Phase Two now had to try (or at least start) to fill out an entire swimming pool. I was still excited with every new movie announcement and was happy to watch them, but after age of Ultron I feel like I lost a bit of steam. So much that I didn’t see Antman at all when it came out. It just didn’t seem worth it.

Phase Three. Civil War. I think this movie is the turning point for the MCU, into a much darker and somber tone. Inner conflicts among the avengers that have literally been boiling for years come to a head, we see so many characters in the same place, see their stories starting to turn in different directions from each other and we, as fans, are starting to get torn apart. Team Iron Man, Team Cap, and social media is stronger than ever, and more prevalent in my life. We don’t even get a solution at the end of the movie. It ends with both sides hurt, betrayed, and with no clue where to go from here, just like us viewers. It’s fair to say that I was re-invested in this universe once more. Though it hurt, I think Marvel needed to introduce some real, lasting damage to its characters. I feel like this movie took itself more seriously as well. That was 2016. After that, we got Dr. Strange, GotG volume two, Spiderman homecoming, Thor: Ragnarok, and Black panther. While these movies were not perfect either, I think they got a lot closer to what marvel wanted to make their universe feel like. They know what they’re doing now, and we fans got some great new characters out of it, along with a fun new take on some old ones (I’m looking at you, Mr. Waititi). I do want to mention a couple little things about some of these. Spiderman was worrisome for me, because the character had had two separate franchises in the last decade or so. That’s a pretty quick turnover. Let it be known that my fears have been quelled, and Tom Holland is my true Spiderman. (Tobey will hold a special place in my heart though. Sorry Andrew, better luck next time). AND THEN. The sensation that was Black Panther. This was when I was really getting into social media; tumblr, youtube, deviantart, all that jazz. It is also when I started college, so imagine that absolute upheaval of perspective. This movie was so important for minorities, and it caused such a stir just as my life was turned 180 degrees on its head. I didn’t know what to think. But I loved it.

Everything was going good. Marvel was hitting its stride again, life was changing, and my mind was expanding and finding out things that I had never considered before. I was 18 years old.

Then it happened. The one everyone had been waiting for for several years. “The endgame.” 

Infinity War.

Let me tell you what it was like when I sat down in the theater that cold spring day. I had heard whispered rumors. About loss, about death. I brushed them off as speculation, trying not to latch onto any spoilers. I wanted to be totally oblivious as to what was about to happen, so I could experience it as mine and only mine the first time. I sat down in that dark theater with my parents, brother, snacks, tissues, and blanket. Mind you, the tissues were for allergies that had been acting up the past few days. I never cried at movies. Never. The trailers played, my family and I whispered to each other about needing to keep an eye out for this or that film when it came out. Then the lights dropped to almost nothing. We settled in for the long haul as the Marvel logo began to play. You know the one, where it shows clips of the past movies, coming together to form the name of the company? Except this one said “MARVEL STUD10S.” Did you get that? There was a number 10 in the name. I was confused for a minute or so, until it dawned on me that the Marvel Cinematic Universe had been making movies for ten. years. More than half my life. I was still in elementary school when the first Iron Man came out. And now here I was, a year into college, about to watch characters that I had grown up with and come to love, in the movie that people were saying destroyed their souls. At that moment, I knew I was in trouble. I was right. Straight off the bat, we lost my favorite villain who really just needs a hug, one who really was instrumental in bringing the Avengers together in the first place. Loki Odinson, in his own words. Right up till the end, he was a trickster, but he loved his family. He and Heimdall were the first hard losses, though seeing all of Asgard torn to shreds was a wake-up call that no one was prepared for the utter destruction that had been avoided until this film. No more clean Disney kid-friendly-ness anymore. Throughout the movie, we got to see reunions, long-awaited meetings, even more characterization and growth (geez marvel, how did you even fit that in? This is the endgame movie? How are you still teaching us new things about these people?) torture, fighting. The tension to the final battle was mounting, and at some point it became clear to me that the Avengers would not be together when this threat arrived. And as anyone who has ever seen a horror movie can tell you, splitting up only leads to death. Now, here’s where my memory gets a little fuzzy. Things were happening so fast, switching from group to group of heroes trying desperately to stave off the destruction of everything we’ve ever known. Things are going wrong all over the place, no one knows where anyone else is or what they’re doing, people we love are fighting each other because they’ve never met before now. What I do remember is when we get to the fight on Titan. Half of the Guardians, Tony, Peter, Strange. Tensions are running high. When Thanos arrives, I have no Idea what’s about to happen. They start fighting, and we finally get a demonstration of some of the more amazing feats the Infinity Gauntlet can pull off. The upper hand swings back and forth so many times, but finally the heroes get their plan to work, they’ve got Thanos on the ground, the Gauntlet is almost off. And Quill… ruins it. What else can he do? He just found out that his love is dead. So he messes everything up. Thanos gets free, pummels everyone into the ground, and then… gets the stone. Strange gives up the stone, even though he swore he would let a child die before he would ever give up such a dangerous object. What the hell Strange???? Was my immediate reaction. I knew it had to be more than just some newfound compassion for these people he met a day ago (was it actually a day?? Has all of this only happened in one short day?) Obviously the doctor has a plan, but this still seems like the worst possible idea. Now to earth. We get some truly awesome moments here; Bucky and cap’s reunion, Shuri showing off her mad science skillz, epic fight moves against hordes of zombie lizards, Thor’s entrance, his little banter with Steve, “I am Groot” “I am Steve Rogers,” Scarlet Witch dropping in at the last second with that massive power move. Everything seems like it’s going ok, and then suddenly, its not. Everything drops so suddenly into Not OK Town that I can still feel the whiplash. People are scrambling to get to each other, calling for backup, getting knocked down and thrown around, and then Thanos makes his entrance. He practically wipes the floor with our remaining heroes. The only thing standing between the universe and total ruin is Wanda. I’ve been preparing for a scene like this the whole movie, but it didn’t hurt any less to finally see it. Vision begs Wanda to destroy the stone, to destroy him, we all know that she has to give in. That’s what heroes do. So she says goodbye to the man she loves and uses her power on him. Now I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve seen this scenario play out before. I’m expecting someone to get there at the last minute and just fricken’ knock Thanos out cold, or maybe discover that Shuri had enough time to basically detach the stone from Vision, even if it didn’t look like it. But no. Wanda destroys the mind stone and Vision actually dies at her hands. Even after all the death that’s already happened in this movie, I was still surprised and devastated.

But they couldn’t just end it like that, could they? Marvel Studios needs to drink every last drop of pain from their fans. 

Thanos moves back the clock. He takes the stone. Vision’s sacrifice was in vain, Wanda had to watch her love die for nothing. Nothing that anyone did made a difference. Since Avengers came out in 2012, these characters have been fighting to keep this evil at bay, to protect the stones, even before they knew it. And now none of it matters. Because Thanos the Mad Titan has all the infinity stones. It’s all over in my mind, I wait for the quintessential Villain Laugh™, the gloating, and then whatever evil thing Thanos has planned. But wait! Thor to the rescue with his brand-new hammer-axe! My heart leaps as he skewers the big purple raisin. He gets his revenge for Loki, for Heimdall, for all of Asgard, for us. Except. except. “You should have gone for the head.”

Wait,

snap. .

.

. My body is rigid and I can only stare unblinking in confusion at the screen. What’s going on? What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO? Thanos disappears. Everything is quiet. “Where did he go?” Steve asks in confusion, mirroring all of our thoughts exactly.

“Steve?”

We see Bucky walking towards us, and then he just…. Dissolves. Into dust. what’s going on what was that My mind is sluggish. I don’t understand.

Wakandan warriors disappear in the wake of the battle. T’challa tries to help Okoye up but then he’s gone. Groot. Wanda. Sam. Mantis, Drax, Quill, Strange.

And oh god. 

“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good.”  Oh god no.  “I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, sir, please, I don’t want to go… I’m sorry.”

Gone.

Through this whole thing, it is silent. No music. Just emptiness, confusion, fear.

And that’s where we’re left. The audience is motionless. I do not cry at movies, but my throat is tight like a noose and my sleeves are soaked from wiping away tears.

Like all good Marvel fans, we remain still in our seats. I try to comprehend what just happened to me as the white credits scroll over a void and dramatic music accompanies them. We wait for our first end-credit scene. Instead, what we get is a fading of the music. Avengers: Infinity War shows from the center of the black screen, and a familiar melody plays. A few slow, simple notes on a piano. The triumphant theme of our heroes, earth’s mightiest protectors. It sounds lonely now. The last note plays, and the title dusts. And I almost scream.

If you’ve read this far, wow! Thank you for reading my absolute monstrosity of a garbage post! It’s been a few months now since Infinity War, and I’ve had time to think. What I figured out was this; when I’m older-old enough to be a parent myself-and looking back on my childhood, these are going to be the movies I remember like my dad remembers Star Wars. I was so lucky to be just the right age when this all started to enjoy every single one, and to remember experiencing them all for the first time. I was just the right age to forge a bond with the characters and their world. I think it was a special kind of bond that only occurs when you’re young but not too young, one that weaves webs of innocence and nostalgia through your most transformative years, and grows with you as you become a new person, and stays with you like a friend even as you see things so differently than when you first started out. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like I grew from child to adult just as the MCU did. We grew together. I don’t know if anyone my age feels the same, but these movies feel like the first big mainstream thing that really belongs to my generation. Like they came at the perfect time to shape me. It feels like they were made for me.