#this is just a pet peeve thing even if it’s still a flaw but it confuses me regardless

[no1ryomafan]

Tumblr be that site I’m consistently becoming more comfortable with and I think it’s good bc even if I don’t check my timeline on twitter the general environment it has is pretty toxic where as here I can legitimately just chill in my corner- Only for then I get mad when I’m trying to reblog a post but I only want to reblog the first one and not all the other reblogs bc idgaf about them but I’m not given the option to view the OG post despite it still being a active blog for whatever fucking reason.

[cheolism]

in the eye of the beholder

➳ choi seungcheol x fem!reader

➳ summary: when you don't like how you look in the mirror, your boyfriend decides to take it upon himself to worship you.

➳ word count approx. 6.2k

➳ tags: boyfriend!cheol, dom!cheol, possessive cheol. wall sex, fingering, oral; unprotected sex. worshipful sex. cheol's crude mouth, dirty talk. crying during sex from pleasure, mating press, spitting, hair pulling, consensual choking (just a little). pet names (princess, baby, sweetheart, angel, pretty girl, beautiful). simp seungcheol, his real spending addiction. he's going to tell you you're beautiful until you believe it.

➳ warnings: MDNI. fat/chubby!reader, insecurity, internalized fatphobia, anxiety. mentions of fatness, stretchmarks, love handles.

➳ request: I was wondering if you could make a seungcheol smut with a plus size girl reader and he basically treats you like he worships you and your body right after the reader felt insecure about her body and he says he stills adores you no matter how you look like while doing it

➳ note: this is slightly different than the request, but i hope you like it nonetheless!! i think you wanted it to be soft and cute but it. did not end up like that. nyways this is for all my fellow chubby/fat girlies <3 hopefully we will all one day get a cheol seungcheol

honestly, you didn't even know you had made a face. you had heard all your life that your face was too expressive for your own good and that it would land you in trouble, and finally it had. only, trouble had a name and his name was choi seungcheol.

the mirror had never been your best friend. all your life you had been obsessed with it. not in the vainish way, not in the pretty way that girls with hair that obeyed the rules of gravity and whose puberty somehow neglected to give them any acne were.

you were obsessed with the mirror in the way that it was your greatest enemy, your greatest foe, and yet you kept returning. when you used the restroom you couldn't help but pause in front of it, peering close at your pores and frowning. couldn't help but hover and look, taking note of every flaw. you stopped in front of the mirror before you left your apartment, eyes sharply taking in how your pants clung too tightly around your waist and not enough around your knees, how your middle seemed to be the first and only thing anyone would ever see when they looked at you.

so when you put on a dress from last spring your first instinct was to look in the mirror.

you had liked the dress. liked how it felt brushing around your knees, liked the colors of the little flowers and bees. you liked how the sleeves were long enough to cover your arms, liked how the dress didn't cling to your middle.

but then you went to the mirror.

you heard seungcheol as he moved about the apartment, sighing and grumbling about something.

"i just don't understand how mingyu can be so fucking happy all the time," seungcheol whined.

"we've been filming all fucking day --" did the dress hug your breasts too tightly? "-- and he's still fucking smiling away like someone sucked his dick before filming --" did it cling to your ass too much? "-- and even fucking seokmin was getting tired of it!" and when you turned you were wide, you were wide and fat and --

seungcheol's voice suddenly came from behind you, making you jump. you spun around, eyes wide as you looked up at your boyfriend, trying rather poorly to catch your breath.

"and what's going on here, sweetheart?"

immediately you knew you were caught. seungcheol's voice had that deadly sort of sweetness to it he only got when he was peeved about something and trying to shove it down. but your boyfriend was more passion than anything else, and his eyes seemed to sharpen as he stood in front of you.

even if his voice and face hadn't given away his irritation, the petname did. sweetheart. he only ever used it when he was pissed and trying to cover it, when he was trying to use his sweetness as a way to distract himself.

"i'm --" you crossed your hands in front of your stomach, covering it. "just looking at the dress."

but crossing your arms was the wrong move. seungcheol moved closer, his thick brows raising. disbelief practically radiated off of him.

he didn't need to verbally question you, however. all seungcheol had to do was cross his own arms over his chest, making his chest bulge and forearms flex, raising his brow and twisting his lip in disapproval, and your insecurities were bubbling up and out.

"it's just --" you spun around, back to the mirror. "look at me, seungcheol! look! i'm so! i look like a fucking whale --"

as soon as the word left your mouth he was on you, his arms wrapping around you and bringing you flush to his chest. seungcheol buried his chin into your shoulder, causing you to tense at the little flash of pain from it. but you didn't move, letting him press his hands to your stomach, mapping it, before they settled on your hips.

"what did i fucking say about that word, princess?" seungcheol hummed, eyes glinting dangerously.

you swallowed, meeting his eyes in the mirror. "but --"

"since you seemed to forget," he rushed on, raising his voice to drown yours out. "i'll just have to remind you."

"seungcheol," you said, hands going to his and lifting them off of you. you didn't want him to touch you when you were like this, as if your poor nature would somehow leak into him and tarnish him. "seungcheol, i'm just fat and ugly, and i'm going to change my dress and it doesn't need to be a whole thing --"

seungcheol pulled his arms from your grasp, bringing a sharp gasp from your lips. then your boyfriend was wrapping one arm around your middle, bringing your body flush against his. his other hand went to your face, holding and guiding it to look at the mirror square-on.

"seems like i've been neglecting my duty as your boyfriend," he announced, voice stern. he cocked his head from where he rested it on your shoulder, black curls shifting into his eyes.

your stomach twisted at his words, guilt immediately flooding through you. "no -- cheol, it's nothing to do with you, it's all me. you're perfect --"

"and so are you, baby," he interjected, squeezing you. his hand traveled from your face, fingertips dragging down your neck and over your collar, his tough light enough to make your skin erupt out in goosebumps. "you're absolutely perfect."

your face instantly contorted, doubt heavy. seungcheol sighed, joining his hands together around your waist and interlocking them. "princess. you know what i think about all of this."

"i know," you agreed.

this wasn't the first time your insecurities about your body and its shape reared their heads. it was such a heavy subject, one that you constantly tried to ignore; seungcheol, on the other hand, wanted to meet them head-on. he was the sort of person who didn't shy away from problems, especially when it came to those he loved.

so he saw your insecurities, saw all of your self-hatred and how it shimmered just beneath the surface all the time. you knew he hated it. you knew he hated your doubt and insecurity, but it wasn't something that just could be stopped on a whim.

seungcheol led your bodies into a sway, eyes still on your figures in the mirror. "and you know i love you."

"i do." you knew he did. choi seungcheol loved you, and this was a fact of the universe, just as the moon is a cold rock and the sun is hot gas and water is made of hydrogen and oxygen and choi seungcheol is made up of love for you; and you, him.

"and i know you're beautiful." he tilted his head, pressing his lips against the fabric covering your shoulder. "i think you're beautiful right now, in this cute little dress. i think you're beautiful when you're asleep. when you're eating. when you're doing nothing, when you're concentrating. i think you're gorgeous, baby. doesn't that matter?"

you swallowed, leaning back into his hold, letting seungcheol accept your weight. it did matter; it does. you treasured seungcheol more dearly than you ever could yourself, and you valued his opinion and thoughts more than any gold or ruby.

but the world wasn't made of choi seungcheols.

it was made of strangers with superficial thoughts, who didn't care about the inside of the person, the heart and soul, as long as the outside shined; didn't care if the rock in their hand was pyrite as long as the outside glimmered with gold; as long as the person in front of them fit their narrative.

you knew that, as soon as you walked outside of your apartment, you would be subjected to the world. to people who may look over you without a glance, who wouldn't give you a second look. but there was also people who would squint and guffaw, who would see your love handles and the stretchmarks on your arms and let their hatred roar.

you valued seungcheol so much; treasured him so much. you would take a single seungcheol over a thousand strangers any day. so why did the stranger matter so much when it came to your appearance?

"what other people think don't matter," he murmured, dropping another kiss to your shoulder. "what they see doesn't matter. isn't that what you tell me?"

"it's different," you mumbled, eyes dropping to his hands. you settled your hands over his, watching as he turned his hands to grab yours and squeeze.

"how is it different, princess?"

you sighed, pressing your thumbs into his hands, letting him rock the two of you back and forth. you knew where this conversation was going, knew you were walking into his trap. "because you're beautiful."

he hummed. "but not to everyone."

"they're stupid if they don't think you're beautiful," you huffed, flicking your eyes up. seungcheol's eyes had softened, twinkling at you. he was looking at you like a poet looked at a flower, an artist their muse, a fan their idol; he was looking at you with adoration. "cheol . . ."

"you took the words straight from my mouth, baby." he straightened, tossing his head a little to shake his curls from his eyes. "tell me, princess. what's the definition of fat?"

you rolled your eyes. seungcheol maneuvered you, turning you from the mirror and towards him. you knew what he was getting at, but still you played along. "plump. having excess."

seungcheol nodded, pouting out his lips in thought. he brought your conjoined hands up, resting them on your shoulders. "and ugly?"

"offensive to look at," you recited, knowing that if you didn't he would bring out his phone and pull up the dictionary.

"and where do those two overlap?" he questioned. "where do the definitions line up? are they synonyms?"

his hands moved from your shoulders, hovering over your skin as he moved them. seungcheol settled his hands around your waist, squeezing. "no, but for some people --"

"if they find fat people offensive," he broke in, "then they have something wrong with them and should take a closer look in the mirror and see the true ugliness of their heart."

seungcheol finally sighed, letting his eyes close. he used his grip on your body to tug you into him, wrapping his arms around you. you went easily, letting seungcheol hold you, eyes sliding shut.

the two of you stood for a handful of moments, basking in the presence of the other. seungcheol was warm and strong, the line of his body sturdy against yours. it was like his love, you thought, warm, strong, never-wavering.

seungcheol pulled away, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. his eyes were soft and sweet, filled with the love for you that his heart couldn't contain, his entire being drenched in it. "you're beautiful, princess. fat or skinny, dress or sweatpants, messy hair or freshly done. you're absolutely gorgeous, and i love you. i love you."

the weight of his mouth against yours had you sighing, eyes fluttering. seungcheol kissed you sweetly, tenderly, warmly; as if he could force the love he had for you into your body and soul through kissing you.

his hand sunk into your hair, using the grip to angle your head. he tugged your lower lip between his, a little gasp escaping you.

"seungcheol," you breathed, his lips detaching from yours. he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth before carrying on. his lips skimmed your chin; your jaw; your neck. they coaxed sighs and gentle exhales out, your body turning towards his, a sunflower chasing the sun.

"you're beautiful," he declared, voice as sure as the dawn. his words were warm against your skin, breath hitting it and causing goosebumps to break out. "you're perfect. my perfect girl."

and then seungcheol's pushing you against the wall next to the mirror, his lips attaching to your neck and sucking. you moaned out his name, arms coming up and around his shoulders, baring your neck for him as an offering.

"such a pretty girl," he murmured, pressing a kiss to the hickey he left before he moved on. "pretty girls deserve to be rewarded, don't they, princess?"

seungcheol fell to his knees in front of you, the dull thump making you wince. then he grabbed your knee, pushing up and out, bringing it over his shoulder.

"cheol," you breathed, all air seemingly leaving your lungs. "seungcheol, seungcheol."

he grinned, eyes shining as he kneeled between your legs. "that's me, princess."

seungcheol pushes forward, using the hand not keeping your thigh hooked over his shoulder to push up your dress. he paused for a moment, the silence taking over the room. "you -- you're not wearing panties, baby."

"was just trying the dress on," you whined, sinking your hand into his dark hair. his locks were long enough that you could pull and tug, wrap them around your fingers and marvel in their softness. "didn't have a chance to put any on."

"perfect," he replied. "if i had my way you'd never wear panties, you know?"

before you could reply seungcheol was disappearing underneath your dress. you couldn't help but jump when his fingers pressed against your pussy lips, prodding and feeling the warmth there.

"even down here is pretty and perfect," he hummed.

thoroughly embarrassed, you began saying his name in a scolding tone. but as soon as the first syllable was leaving your lips he was attaching his to your cunt, running his tung up the length of your pussy.

his name ended up leaving your lips in a loud cry. you threw your head back against the wall, the dull thud not rendering as your boyfriend repeated the action, using his spit to wetten your cunt.

"gotta get wet for me, baby." seungcheol shifted closer, and then his tongue was brushing against your hole. you clenched immediately, gasping in surprise. but then he was shoving his tongue in, humming.

seungcheol ate you messily, pressing his entire face against your cunt. he used his spit and spread it along your cunt with his tongue, lapped at your hole and pressed a fingertip underneath it, massaging the muscle and coaxing it.

soon enough you were drenched, your cunt soaking your boyfriend's face as he continued to eat you out. he slurped against your pussy, swallowing your juices eagerly. he pressed a line of kisses from your hole to your clit, and then he was wrapping his lips around it and sucking while his fingers poked at your hole.

seungcheol worked his tongue against your clit as he inserted a thick finger into your cunt. his fingers were so thick, the stretch always causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head, burning in the best way. seungcheol continued working you until his pointer finger slid fully inside of your cunt, the slide easy due to your wetness.

he pressed a kiss to your clit, causing you to clench around him. seungcheol laughed, and when he spoke his voice was thick in his throat. "such a good girl, princess. took my finger so well. you're so wet and tight, so perfect for me. but you're always so perfect, aren't you?"

you felt his second finger slide along your folds, collecting your fluids. you scrambled against him in anticipation, your fingers sinking into his curls and clenching down.

"that's right princess," he murmured, slurping against your clit, his voice soft compared to the loud squelching of your cunt. "gonna make you feel so good, gonna make you forget anything but my name."

his second finger probed against your hole and then, in a fluid movement that had your stomach clenching, slid in alongside the first. his fingers were so fucking thick, so fucking thick and large and filling. seungcheol could move his fingers easily in your cunt, your pussy offering no resistance.

"you're so wet, baby," he pressed his mouth against your clit and slurped, the vibrations of his mouth earning a loud squeal from yours. "so tight around my fingers. dunno how we'll fit my cock inside, princess."

he moved his face from your cunt, pressing his mouth against the thigh hooked over his shoulder and kissing. in doing so seungcheol spread your fluids along your skin, creating a mess along your thigh. meanwhile his two fingers continued moving inside of you, your cunt clenching around them eagerly in a poor attempt to keep them wedged inside.

"but i know you'll take my cock, won't you, princess?" seungcheol flicked his eyes up at you, though you didn't notice. you were too lost in your own pleasure, your hands pulling at his hair while you squeezed your eyes shut. "you always take my dick so good, baby. always feel so perfect around it, your tight little cunt so perfect for my fat cock."

his words pulled a full shiver from your body, muscles tensing. seungcheol grinned against your skin. he slid his ring finger in alongside the other two, the stretch bringing a loud cry from your lips, back arching against the wall and thigh tightening around him.

seungcheol chuckled, pressing a chaste kiss to your thigh. then he began alternating between sucking and nipping, the little sparks of pain making your toes curl and bringing out sweet gasps.

you came with a loud cry, your orgasm long and prolonged, gently coaxed into being by seungcheol's steady fingers and wicked mouth. he continued working at you even as you spasmed around his digits, cunt clenching.

"fuck, baby," he laughed. "your cunt's squeezing so tightly around my fingers. do you wish it was my cock, hm? wish it was my cock you were squeezing around so you could milk it dry? wish i was dumping into you, filling you with my spunk?"

the crudeness of his words drew a low moan from you, fingers digging into his hair. seungcheol knew his words could twist your stomach and bring heat coursing through your body just as well as his actions could and he never missed out on the opportunity to do so.

his dark, sweet eyes were always watching you after all. taking in how you looked at yourself in mirrors, how you always seemed to linger around toddlers with a soft smile; how you always seemed to go still whenever he uttered words like spunk and cunt.

being known was mortifying, but being known by choi seungcheol? being known by choi seungcheol meant a double-edged sword of comfort and cunning, of using your own preferences and perversions against you.

seungcheol pulled back, slipping his fingers from your cunt. he held up his hand, getting your attention.

you gasped, appalled. his hand was soaked from your fluids, and when he spread out his fingers strings of your juices connected them. his hand and forearm practically shined in the light, drenched in you.

seungcheol stood from the floor, knees cracking, guiding your thigh off of his shoulder. you stumbled, knees weak and unable to properly hold yourself up. seungcheol's clean hand immediately went to your waist, steadying you.

"careful, pretty girl," he warned, pressing you against the wall to help steady you. he brought his dirty hand up to your mouth, fingers tugging at your bottom lip. "okay princess. come on, open your pretty little mouth for me."

you obeyed, parting your lips. seungcheol slid his three fingers into your mouth, immediately filling it. for a moment you were overwhelmed, the weight of his fingers inside your mouth nearly suffocating, tears biting at the corners of your eyes.

then you breathed out through your nose, calming yourself. you brought your hands up around his wrist, holding seungcheol's hand still. then you brought your tongue up and against his digits, tasting your orgasm, licking it off of his fingers and swallowing around them.

"that's a good girl," he hummed, eyes half-closed as he watched you. his dark lashes, which were thick and long and devastatingly beautiful, fluttered. "fuck you're so beautiful with my fingers in your mouth, baby."

you hummed around his fingers, squeezing his wrist in your grip.

seungcheol cursed softly, pulling his hand out of your mouth. he placed both of his hands on your waist, guiding you off of the wall and towards the bed.

"fuck you're gorgeous," seungcheol said, admiring you. your hair was messed up from being against the wall, spit smeared around your mouth from taking his fingers. "my beautiful girl."

then he was kissing you, mouth eagerly clashing against yours. seungcheol practically devoured your mouth, tongue taking and claiming yours for his own.

his hands went to your dress, bunching up the skirt. seungcheol brought it up over your hips, hands sliding along your skin. he pulled his mouth from yours, kissing along your jaw.

"gotta get your dress off, angel." seungcheol separated from you just long enough to help you pull off your dress, baring your body for his eyes. his eyes darted over your body, biting his lip and greedily taking you in.

"that's my beautiful girl," he announced, pleased. his hands went to your love handles, squeezing possessively. seungcheol traced his fingers long the ridges and valleys of your stretchmarks, hands smoothing over the fat of your middle and holding, massaging. "fucking beautiful."

you sighed, shaking your head softly. but you pressed into seungcheol all the same, letting his hands continue their journey, memorizing your body as if he hadn't seen it a thousand times before.

seungcheol, just as he was passionate, was covetous. he would say as much himself, laughing as he presented whatever high-end piece of clothing he recently splurged on for one of you. he treated his greed as a part of him, something he earned and respected.

what's the problem in liking pretty things, princess, he laughed, pulling away so he could admire the new necklace he just placed around your neck. i'm just a simple man who likes beautiful things. that's why i chased after you.

so he greedily drank your body in, enraptured by its beauty. the fat of your thighs and hips, the curve of your stomach; the hang of your breasts and the valley between, the stretchmarks along your arms and waist. his tough was gentle and sweet, almost reverent, like a devoted worshiper before his most precious goddess.

seungcheol's mouth went to your neck, plump lips skimming alongside your skin. he went to your shoulder, biting the skin there gently.

"okay baby," he hummed, pulling back. seungcheol softly guided you to the bed, his touch still delicate. you leaned back on the bed, bracing your hands against the mattress. you bore your body to him, unconcerned momentarily with your modesty and instead enraptured by his.

his hands went to the hem of his hoodie, pulling the large article off. seungcheol's body was filled, biceps and shoulders thick. he had lost the severity of his abs in the few weeks of break, but they still lingered and drew your eyes.

"keep looking at me with those sweet eyes of yours and i'll have to fuck you until tears are coming out of them," seungcheol smirked, his hands resting on the waistband of his sweats. "but i think i'll be doing that anyways, princess."

you shifted, reaching and brushing your hair back and off of your shoulder. you glanced down at his dick without realizing it. you could see the fat imprint of it through his sweats, the sight of it making you salivate and your cunt clench.

slowly, tantalizingly, seungcheol hooked his fingers into the waistband of his pants. he pulled both his pants and underwear down over his ass, past his thick thighs and then seungcheol was stepping out of them.

his dick was large and thick and red, standing at attention. he took it in his hand, hissing at the contact. you watched, enchanted, as he dragged his hand alongside the dick, coaxing precum from its tip.

"god, baby," he groaned, shutting his eyes. seungcheol took his lower lip in his mouth, sucking at it. "your fucking eyes, princess."

seungcheol played with the tip of his dick with his fingers for a moment before releasing it. then he stepped forward and to the bed, fitting his body between your legs. when he offered his fingers to you you immediately opened your mouth, accepting his fingers in.

his precum was slightly bitter to the taste, but you sucked at his fingers anyways, welcoming it.

"that's a good girl," he sighed before withdrawing his fingers. "up on the bed, princess."

you moved, dragging your knees onto the bed as to climb further up it. as soon as you were turned to seungcheol his hands were on your hips, thumbs pressing into the fat of your ass.

"fucking hell," he groaned, fingers pressing into your body. "your ass, baby. i never get tired of looking at your sweet ass, always looks so good."

he squeezed your middle once more before he released you, hands settling along the curve of your ass and guiding you up the bed. once you were at the head of it you plopped onto your back, legs immediately opening for him.

seungcheol kneeled before your body, hands settling on your knees. his eyes roamed your body, drinking you in. "you look so perfect like this, you know that? spread out on the bed for me, all bare and ready. ready for my dick, ready for me to stuff my cock inside your cute cunt."

seungcheol dipped his head, pressing a kiss to your knee. "i wish you knew how beautiful you were, baby. but if i have to spend the rest of my life convincing you, then that's what i'll do."

he glanced up at you, dark eyes piercing through your own. "if i need to spend the rest of my life fucking your cunt raw for you to be convinced, then i'll do it. gladly."

seungcheol moved from you, reaching up past your head. he grabbed a pillow, his free hand going to your hips and guiding them up so he could shift the pillow beneath them. he resumed his position of kneeling before you, hands bracing on either of your knees.

slowly, as to not strain your body too much, he began pushing your knees back and up, revealing more and more of your cunt to him. the stretch burned slightly as your muscles protested the new positions he was putting you into, but you didn't protest.

once your thighs were pressed against your chest, seungcheol stopped manipulating you. he groaned a little, eyes taking in your plush figure. "fucking gorgeous, baby."

then his hand was on his dick, pressing the fat head against your hole. your breath hitched in your throat, eyes shutting at the pressure of his dick. "cheol -- cheol, you're so big --"

he laughed breathlessly. seungcheol continued to steadily press his dick inside of you. you watched, transfixed, as your boyfriend worked his tongue around his mouth; pursed his lips; and then he was leaning over your cunt, a thick wad of spit dropping from his mouth and onto where his dickhead pressed against your hole.

you groaned, pussy clenching. seungcheol's hand went to your cunt, massaging around your hole, coaxing it to take in his fat dick. you relaxed into the bed, pleasure manifesting itself warmly in your gut at his fingertips.

seungcheol's dick slid inside. you keened, tossing your head back against the pillows as his dick split you open. he cursed, voice low in his throat, and then seungcheol was laying himself against you.

he used his weight to press your thighs close to your chest, to keep your body trapped beneath his. you were practically flat against the bed from his body, seungcheol all around you, the scent and feel of him flooding your senses.

"fuck," he hissed, lashes fluttering. "fucking so tight for me princess, so tight and warm and fucking perfect. you're so perfect, baby, so goddamn perfect for me"

his hips pressed against your ass, signifying he was fully sheathed inside. seungcheol gathered his breath as he waited for your cunt to relax around him, his large hands sliding beneath your knees and squeezing.

he turned his head, pressing a kiss to your leg. "that's a good girl," he murmured, nose brushing alongside your skin. "taking me so beautifully."

you hummed, sucking on your lower lip. you felt so incredibly full with his dick inside of you. part of you, the more animalistic part of you that was kept tucked away, wished you could feel like this all the time. wished you always had his dick balls-deep inside of you, pressing at your core and forcing your walls to accommodate him.

but, as good as warming his dick was, you wanted more. you may have been full from his cock, but you were still starving.

so you rocked your hips up as best as you could with his full weight on top of you, urging his dick in further.

"fuck," he breathed, pressing his forehead against your leg. "fuck. okay. okay, baby."

slowly seungcheol withdrew from your body. the drag of his cock against your walls had you whining, grinding up into the air in a poor attempt to put his dick back inside.

he stopped once his cockhead was tugging at your hole, looking down at the place where the two of you were joined. "shit, princess. even this part of you is beautiful."

you wanted to reach out and smack his head. instead you felt heat rise to your cheeks at his shamelessness.

"fuck me, cheol," you begged, furrowing your brow. you reached out, grabbing onto his shoulders and trying to force him closer. "please, cheol. please fuck me."

"aw," he cooed, dark eyes twinkling. "you even beg prettily. as a matter of fact --" he guided your legs as he spoke, hooking them over his broad shoulders. "-- i think i'd like you to beg a little more for me, baby. let me hear your pretty mouth."

"seungcheol," you whined, desperate. you wanted his dick back inside of you, wanted seungcheol to impale you on his dick. you wanted him to take you, wanted to feel him ravage your body. you -- "want your dick in me, cheol. want you to fuck me like -- like i'm the prettiest fucking thing and you want to make me yours."

seungcheol blanched for a moment, eyes widening at your words. then a curse escaped his mouth, and he was bracing his heads on either side of your head. he sheathed his cock back inside your cunt smoothly, without any of the caution he had exhibited earlier.

"fuck," you moaned, trying to arch up into him to no avail. his body was pressing you firmly against the bed still, leaving you no room to move about, no room to do anything other than take his dick. "fuck, please, cheol --"

he withdrew, and then he impaled you with his cock just as quickly. seungcheol moved swiftly, shoving his dick in you without any hesitance. his hips slapped against your ass hard enough to bruise them, the sound of his balls slapping against your skin ringing in your ears.

the pain of his fucking was nothing compared to the pleasure. his thick cock dragged against your walls, the head of it fat enough to hit your core with every strike. you couldn't do anything, powerless against his strength and power.

the warmth in your gut was expanding, the liquidy feel taking over your limbs and rendering them useless. you couldn't do anything, eyes rolling into the back of your head, mouth hanging with moans escaping.

"that's it pretty girl," he groaned. seungcheol moved one of his hands off of the bed, placing it around your throat. he did nothing other than flex his hand against your neck but still the action had you whining, voice going high in your throat.

"fucking sound so good," he breathed, his cock drilling into you at a horrid pace. "fucking taking my cock like a good girl. shit -- your cunt's perfect. so fucking perfect. your perfect fucking eyes, perfect hips and thighs, perfect ass and breasts. perfect -- fucking -- cunt --"

he accentuated each of his words with a well-aimed thrust into your cunt. "fucking -- made for me, all beautiful just for me."

"just --" you gasped, throat working his hand. "just for you."

"say it," he demanded, voice dark and stern. "want you to say it, pretty girl."

you squeezed your eyes shut, but he was immediately squeezing your throat in retaliation. "keep your eyes open, baby. want you to look me in the eyes and say it."

your eyes flew open at his command, mouth gaping. but you obeyed, that thick dick rendering you useless to even think about going against seungcheol. "i'm -- i'm beau -- beautiful --"

"for fucking who," he hissed, mouth in a smirk. "who are you made for, princess?"

"you!" you cried, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. you wanted to cum so badly, wanted that knot in your gut to just snap. "you, cheol! i'm beautiful just for you!"

seungcheol's smirk widened, and then his hand was squeezing against your throat. he held it, fucking into you fluidly, hand heavy on your neck.

"fucking beautiful," he agreed. seungcheol lifted his hand from your throat, and as soon as you were gulping down a lungful of air, you were cumming.

it hit you like a truck, causing your mind to blank and your breath to escape you altogether. you couldn't do anything, your cunt spasming around seungcheol's cock, trying to milk it.

"that's it," he praised you, continuing to fuck you through your orgasm. "that's a good girl."

you whined as soon as you could, chest rapidly heaving to get air back into your lungs. "cheol -- cheol, please --"

"gonna fuck my cum into you, pretty girl," he vowed, dark brows pressed together. "gonna paint your pussy with my spunk."

"please!"

seungcheol pulled out of you, drawing a loud whine from your lips in protest. but then his hands were on your hips, flinging you onto your stomach. he man-handled you, his hand settling on your shoulders and forcing them into the bed, the other hand on your hips and bringing them up and baring your ass.

his dick pierced your cunt again, the action drawing a squeal from your mouth. you couldn't -- your cunt clenched down on his dick in protest, begging for some sort of relief from his ministrations. your mouth refused to close, spit leaking freely from your lips, your tears falling from your cheeks and joining your spit to stain the pillow.

"so much," you moaned, "cheol -- it's so much --"

but then you were driving your hips back onto him, seeking out his dick.

"fuck, baby," he moaned. he placed his hands on your love handles, squeezing the flesh. then he was gripping your hips harshly, enough to leave bruises, using them to snap your body back onto his cock.

"fuckin -- so good, baby -- perfect little pussy, perfect fucking body --" he moved one of his hands from your hip, sliding it down along your back. seungcheol gripped your hair, pulling. "fucking beautiful taking my cock like this, taking it like a good girl, so perfect and beautiful and mine."

you were already sensitive from having cum twice before, so it didn't take but a handful more harsh thrusts before you were squealing, clenching around his dick. fresh tears sprung to your eyes, your shouts muffled by the pillows.

your body went completely lax in seungcheol's hold, your legs giving out. exhaustion struck you, seeping into your body and mind, muddling it all. but seungcheol carried on; he wrapped his arms around your middle, keeping you propped up so he could continue fucking you.

"gonna cum in you," he warned, nails digging into your flesh. "gonna cum and fuck it in, gonna fill you until your little pussy is drowning in my spunk --"

weakly, you clenched around him in response. seungcheol groaned, a loud thing that tore through his throat. you could feel him as he came, could feel the cum fill your cunt. seungcheol continued thrusting into you, using your body to milk his dick.

"what a good girl you are," he praised, hands releasing their severe grip on your hips. seungcheol didn't pull from you, but instead he turned your body so you were facing him. he grinned down at you before he lowered himself, laying his body on top of yours.

you hummed, pleased at the extra weight. you gathered the energy to sink one of your hands into his curls and pull, but other than that you were still, basking in your post-orgasmic state.

seungcheol pressed his face into the valley between your chest. sweat clung to both of your bodies like a second skin, but neither of you paid it any mind. especially not seungcheol as he ran his lips over your breasts, placing sweet little kisses.

"so beautiful," he murmured, eyes flicking up to yours. seungcheol's gaze was soft and sweet, adoration pouring from his very soul. "you're so beautiful, baby. i love you and your body so much. love you, adore you, cherish you. "

and when his mouth continued to travel along your body, mapping it out with his lips, you began to believe him.

[creation-help]

Advice and tips on how to make your character feel more genuine/real

- Pettiness and shallowness. Obviously it can manifest in different ways, but IRL everyone has at least one or two little things that they're a bit surface level and "Just because!" about. Be it clothes, how they do certain rituals, what color m&ms they prefer ect ect. It can be little details or even major characteristics, and depending on which (and what) they are, it can be really telling about the character! Plus, it just adds a little extra depth and fun. Some examples including but not limited to: Being fussy over getting their clothes wet or dirty, only preferring some items because they look good, insisting on doing some action or tradition exactly a certain way, disliking an aspect of a thing or a person because they just don't like it, and so on. Obviously the big worldview points like morality and beliefs are very important, but when you've figured those out, take a moment to think about the smaller, everyday things your character feels about the world around them. No matter how good or wise a person is, they'll still always have some little thing that they can't give some profound noble answer to. Use this to your advantage to explore your character's shortcomings or flaws!

(In the same vein, Pet peeves is another detail that can flesh out a character!)

- How does your character perceive things? What do they notice about people first? How would they talk about, or describe another person to someone, if asked? How would they describe themself? And why? Just some things to consider. If your character maps out all the little details and deeply analyzes everything they see, it'll show in their interactions very differently than, for example, if they have the perception of a cabbage and are more oblivious than the love interest in a teen drama that the writers are stretching out for five seasons for no reason. Ykno.

- Additionally: what's their opinion of the people around them? Or if you've already mapped that out, what's their opinion of people they've never met before, or people who aren't in their immediate bubble, friends of friends, relatives of relatives, neighbours, or celebrities, mythical/historical figures and so on. Delve into hypotheticals sometimes, it can help you exercise your knowledge of the character. Even if none of these encounters or situations would happen in Canon.

- I'm sure you've already figured out what your character is most passionate about, ykno, whatever drives the story and impacts their relationships with other characters. But how about stuff they really don't care to think about? Just shrug? Not interesting? Doesn't pay attention to this? What is low on their priorities? It doesn't have to be negative (but can be!), it can just be "Meh", or something your character hasn't even noticed before, simply because it's not in their thoughtscape to think about.

- Does your character have any of those "What? I thought everyone did that/thought that/was like that!" - things? What do they take for granted, or weren't aware isn't a universal experience? Did they have a wildly different experience with something that most other characters hadn't even thought of? And yes I understand this is good for exploring trauma and other angsty things, but besides the obvious, think about maybe something that could be related to your character's species/living environment/abilities/opinions ect. This is great for exploring cultural differences, and anything that takes place in a fantasy setting. Very useful for villains and heroes alike! It's insightful. Everyone has small little perceptive differences or big and small thoughts that for some reason just haven't been properly challenged yet. Or brought up even. For whatever reason. Explore maybe what that reason could be, and figure out why it's been unchallenged for so long.

- Imperfections. Little divergences. It's fully possible to write a compelling and genuine feeling character using just archetypes, if you really explore them deeply. And whether you're doing that or not, think about the lines and molds you've set your character into, and let them spill out of them a little bit. Can be one huge aspect or one teensy detail, but make some diversion. Some crack in the picture. Doesn't have to be a flaw but can be! Just have some little aspects that set them apart and make the character themself. Get weird with it. Getting weird is one huge way you can truly make a character stand out and feel more unique and, oddly enough, genuine and real. Actual people have little oddities or things that don't line up with everything else about their person. And again it doesn't necessarily have to be anything big or shocking, in fact I'd argue it's even better if sometimes it's just a small, very ordinary, humanizing detail. Maybe unexpected, or maybe just something that doesn't factor into the surface image your character has. Think about characters similar to yours that you see often. What traits do they all share, or most usually have? Think about the kinds of people your character is inspired by. What are they often like? Make a diversion from that. Make multiple even? It can be the most random thing but think about it, even if you threw a dart at a wall of sticky notes, really chew out what this little thing says about your character. And focus on little cracks, imperfections, diversions and other odd details of your character. Over time they can grow bigger, or maybe not.

- Keep a clear picture of who your character is. Sounds obvious but I'll elaborate. Your character will obviously change and develop over the time you're working on them and whatever story events take place but I think it's very important to keep in mind who they fundamentally are. Basically I'm saying that try to keep them in character, yes even if you did drastic character development, you can still show that it's the same person in other ways even if one of their core traits was flipped. Be aware of what things will never change about your character no matter what they'd go through. Keep some consistency. Consistency matters alot in making a character seem genuine and, ykno, a good character. Even if that consistent trait is that they're inconsistent! The character can be that, yes, but as their creator, you should still keep sights of what's consistent for this character, you feel? If your character is a glunk of slime that slips out of it's container constantly and subsequently molds into whatever situation it gets put in, that's not really a character, that's.. Idk, plot device..? I know this may sound contradicting to my previous point but I fully think that, and this one can and should coexist.

You need to simultaneously be aware of the ways your character will differ from something and be fluid, and the ways your character will not bend, and cannot become. It's simply a matter of knowing their boundaries and restrictions, knowing which way they can lean and which way not. Obviously this'll be up to you as their creator, bc yeah you're allowed to drastically edit your character if you feel like it's for the better, but try to commit to that change then. Don't let the character slip from your hands, or let the story bend them into whatever shape it needs to make the plot go forward. Your character, and more importantly you, should be in control of that.

I emphasize the point of you controlling your character and not the other way around also. I've seen some character owners slip into "Well it's just what the character would do! I can't help it, it'd be out of character if they didn't do x!" even if the thing is completely awful, doesn't fit, or would ruin an aspect of the story. A smart writer will know how to work with your character's traits in a way that prevents them from running off the tracks and becoming their own little gremlin, while also complying with the story. Respect your character's.. Character, while also respecting yourself and the point of the story. This is even more crucial if it's a roleplay character, by the way..

I'm just saying, find ways to write the story in cooperation with your character. That means knowing what situations to avoid and which ones to steer for, in order to keep your character functioning with the plot and other characters. Sometimes you simply have to prevent some event from happening, or some characters from ever meeting, for the sole reason that it wouldn't make the story work the way it should. Or the way you want it to. You hold the pencil, be aware of what that means

[phregnancy]

Sometimes I read bottom Dan fic from a few years ago and I'm like "who are these people?" lol. It's like people totally disregarded Phil's personality in order for him to fit the stereotypical mold they'd cast him in. It was the same for Dan tbh. Lbr the only reason why people thought Dan was the bottom is bc he's younger and more outwardly feminine than Phil. The idea that bottom= submissive and top= dominate is flawed anyway, but also...Dan is not submissive. He's quite bossy and controlling. In the past, I'd even say he could be domineering. I don't see their dynamic as even being Dom/sub tbh. It's more of a playful power struggle. Except Dan fights by asserting dominance and Phil fights by being cute and whining until Dan gives in or being an absolute menace and annoying Dan into submission lmao

rewriting this for the third time because my app keeps refreshing </3 but i agree with alllll of this. putting it under a cut because i got way off course and went on a tangent lol

someone recently said that they can tell who of us have been actively engaged in diverse irl queer communities (clubs, bars, sports leagues, activism groups, etc) vs who of us haven’t and i’ve been thinking about that a lot in regards to this. obviously nothing wrong with not engaging with your irl queer communities, some people don’t have access or don’t feel comfortable or simply don’t want to and all of that is fine - but you do have to work harder to unlearn a lot of heteronormative concepts like these and you have to familiarize yourself with queer culture and history (outside of social media). people’s outward presentations of masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with their sexual preferences, and dan has shared that exact sentiment in so many words (wondering if people think he’s a bottom because he’s slightly more feminine, and then discouraging that narrative as a whole). i also think there was a lot of hyperbolizing with their masculine and feminine presentations, because for a long time dan really was not that feminine and phil really was not that masculine. they were both emo nerd boys who played video games and drank too much soda. even now with personas like sister daniel, that really is not the height of femininity in queer culture or drag culture.

i think there’s also something to be said about people’s lack of familiarity with queer culture showing in people’s thoughts on them being in an open relationship and also 2009 bottom dan.

i don’t particularly care about the open relationship discourse one way or another, but a lot of mlm relationships are open. there are studies and statistics on this, gay men are the most comfortable and open to open relationships. if they hooked up with people when dan was touring or even just someone every now and then, it wouldn’t be as shocking as some people make it out to be. i also think there’s a problem with people conflating open relationships with polyamory, and those two things are often very different. people in open relationships tend to be committed to each other, but will sometimes want to have noncommittal sex with other people. polyamory is having multiple committed relationships (romantic or sexual). clingy phil and possessive dan having noncommittal sex with other people wouldn’t change that they’re still clingy x possessive. and if you’re actively engaged in irl queer communities vs online echo chambers you’ll learn this.

i’m getting way off course here lol but then in regards to people thinking 2009 dan was bottoming as a default, that’s been a pet peeve of mine since forever because it shows a lack of familiarity with mlm relationships. it’s extremely unlikely that dan’s first gay sexual experiences were being on the receiving end of anal sex, that takes time to get used to (with yourself and with a partner) and often isn’t most men’s first gay sexual position. they also weren’t together long enough until phil got his first apartment to have dan be familiar enough with anal to take phil’s dick every time he visited. i know everyone thinks little twink dan taking phil’s big dick is so hot, but big dicks can be painful and are something you work yourselves towards. and y’know, who knows what actually went on in that bedroom so much cherry everywhere, but i do think we should dispel some of these beliefs that again are playing into heteronormativity (little feminine dan taking big masculine emo phil)

dan has always been bossy and controlling and he was quite confident with the people he was comfortable around (phil + other youtubers + his audience) and then grew to be a confident person in general. i see them as a real brat x brat relationship with them being bratty in different ways (bossy/teasing vs whiney/pushing buttons).

here’s my last thing (thanks for reading this novel if you made it this far) - there is a difference between knowing all of this, and still just preferring bottom sub dan x top dom phil because you think it’s hot, vs believing there’s no other dynamics that could exist because of heteronormative stereotypes that you are actively playing into. like what you like and have fun! but please work on educating yourself and unlearning heteronormativity. sorry for the spiel!

[snaillock]

this fandom dry as shitttttt cause why am i barely seeing anyone talk about the new trailer? i know there are people talking about it if you scroll enough through the blue lock tag but for an animanga fan base that just had a season 2 of it’s anime drop? it’s a whole damn desert up in here.

anyways here are my thoughts on the trailer and the upcoming season:

good god blue lock deserved a better studio if i’m being completely honest here.

i really really don’t like the harsh look of the dominant and completely black shadows. i feel like it just does not at all fit with the art style and just clashes weirdly. it just gives off the vibe of them trying something and just going too far with it.

ofc a lot of stuff about the art direction is pretty subjective and everyone can have their own thoughts about it. personally, i don’t enjoy it that much and a lot of the screencaps are pretty unappealing to look at.

also not sure if this is just me but i have always hated is how absurdly lean the characters’ bodies looked in the anime. not completely sure if this is a thing unique to this anime or not. in the manga, they obviously looked fit and athletic but it was still believable that they were teenage athletes that have only really played on a high school/local level. meanwhile the adaptation made it appear like they have 0% body fat and are completely dehydrated. they looked like they were on steroids or some shit. is ego over there sneaking tren into their bloodstreams when they’re sleeping? and it certainly does not look this pet peeve of mine will get any better in season 2.

anyways onto the more positive stuff i’m looking forward to:

one thing i am excited for is isagis final goal in the u-20 match. i love that specific chapter in the series and i do feel like they’ll put a lot of effort into that part since it’s a pretty significant moment. so yeah i do have hopes for that. same with rin’s backstory. based on the little clip of it in the trailer, it does seem promising and i bet they’ll do a good job on that as well since it is a defining moment for his character.

another thing im quite happy about is my pookie sae’s new design. i’m so happy they changed his look to reflect the manga art style improve post-second selection arc. he looks soooo goodddd!

i’m also hella excited for the additional times. i really enjoyed those the first time i watched the anime and definitely was a little sad when i found out they weren’t canon in the actual manga. so i can’t wait to see what they’ll add to the characters this round.

even if the new season does inevitably its noticeable flaws, i bet i still will be extremely hyped when watching just like with season one. this series doesn’t fail to make me feel like a typical sports bro in a bar whenever someone makes a goal. and you bet my ass will be tuning in (🏴‍☠️) each and every week.

[depravitycentral]

ty for making some of these boys virgins 😭 its a peeve when they try to justify characters being these sex gods when majority of these anime boys have never held a girl's hand in canon. Like you can be a virgin and still know how to fuck/dom but soooo many girls dont get that so they keyhole these men into being hedonistic. Like no hate to them but thats so ooc - nyways i really love your work and immersion! <3

Yes yes yes! That's a bit of a pet peeve for me too, though I understand why other authors do it! Especially in the context of yanderes, where they're supposed to be intimidating and all-consuming and suffocating.

That's not to say that there aren't characters out there who are sex gods - they're few and far between but they do exist, through a combination of experience and raw, natural talent. (And, more often than not, a bit of luck, too.)

Plus, the depth of their feelings for you and the intense, pathetic desire to please you certainly doesn't deter them from trying their best every time they get you naked and spread out before them.

Let's discuss!!

Some are simply experienced enough to know what most women like. It's not a matter of raw ability but rather that they've had enough partners to know what to do - and, more importantly, what not to do. Trial and error has led to them having a pretty consistent routine they undergo in order to get their partner off, knowing that they should spend a while with their tongue against your clit or thumbs brushing against your nipples in order to get you fully ready, often even giving you an orgasm before they get to the main event. Fucking you is good, better than any woman they've been with, but your body is more or less the same as theirs's - except, they're trying even harder with you, putting to use every scrap of information they've learned and observed from every sexual encounter they've had. Their ultimate goal is to turn you into a moaning, shaking mess, and they're quick to adapt to whatever seems to get you feeling best.

The biggest concern with this category, however, is that they tend to be a little overconfident - because they feel they have a wealth of experience, they aren't especially open to criticism or advice. They'll adapt to you, sure, but don't tell them they're doing something wrong, or that something other women have loved doesn't actually feel all that good. Don't insult their skills, because while they no longer care if their past partners enjoyed their time together, it still stings their pride. Instead of listening to your advice, they'll choose to keep going - doing the thing you claim to dislike more and more and more, feverishly trying to convince you that it feels good, you're just not opening yourself up for the opportunity to feel good, that's all. Really, you should be more receptive - after all, they know what they're doing, and do you? Do you really?

A few yanderes that come to mind fitting this category include Koutarou Bokuto, who, despite still having some misconceptions about the female body (he gets terminology mixed up mostly, confusing your clit for your vulva and so on, making any moaned directions aimed at him difficult to follow), has always been able to show his partners a good time. Besides, even if he underperforms, those biceps and muscular thighs normally have women overlooking any of his flaws.

Hizashi Yamada, similarly, always leaves his hookups smiling, making sex a generally pleasant, satisfying experience. Though, no matter how good his skill with his tongue or cock is, his incessant talking throughout the process can leave some late nights turning a bit sour. It can ruin the mood, sometimes, and while there are times when you find his excessive praising and moans of fuck baby and love it when you take me so well hot, most of the time they just deter you from truly losing yourself in the moment. (He always sounds too awed - he's not growling these things or saying them with much of a dominant lilt, rather just warbling and genuinely praising you, which can sometimes leave you feeling a bit uncomfortable.)

Shalnark, when he's trying, can be a great lover - he's especially tuned in to his partner's emotions and reactions to his touch, but the trouble with him is his effort level. Of course, he's in love with you, scarily so, but sometimes he can be a bit selfish, and chooses to take the easy way out and just whip out the vibtrator rather than manually finish you off. This tends to happen when you've been putting on an attitude or you haven't been especially receptive to his affection, and it's in moments like these where Shalnark's pettiness shows itself. You won't hug him or snuggle with him in bed? Then why should he fuck you into an orgasm? But when he does care, well, it almost makes up for all those times he taps out after he comes. Almost.

Some have learned that they do one thing particularly well, and are humble enough to recognize that they should focus on that. As much as they wish they were as well rounded and talented at everything between the sheets, they each have one tried and true weapon that they can use in a pinch to make sure the sex ends on a good note. It's very dependent on the yandere, but they have some redeeming trait that always comes in to save the day, something that can normally get you gasping and trembling if they work at it long enough. Unless they're particularly pent up (or particularly desperate to show you how good they can make you feel), they tend to try and utilize other methods of pleasuring you before they fall back and rely on their specialty. It's more of a confidence thing than anything else, because while they're grateful that they have something to offer you, they want to improve their skills in other areas so that they don't need to rely on just eating you out or rubbing at your clit or fucking you senseless. They just want to be good for you, really, but when they get desperate, they'll always transition to the one thing they know will work.

The one thing that deters this category from being desirable is that in-between period when they're trying new things out. Often, it's not super successful; they're really good at only one thing for a reason, and while it's not necessarily bad when they try to mix things up, it's certainly not going to leave you breathless and wanting more. They just don't have the proper experience (or experience where they were aiming for pleasuring their partner rather than just themselves) to really feel confident and sure of themselves when they're trying something new, and it translates into the way they always hesitate just a bit, or the way they go either way too slow or way too fast. Eventually, though, they'll always return to their fail safe, so it doesn't matter too much - just be patient and get through their attempts, and you'll be rewarded.

Tetsurou Kuroo, while certainly not being a sex god, is remarkably quite talented with his tongue. He's got very good control, and is able to make very precise movements, especially when they're preformed against your clit. He actually really loves to eat you out because he really, really likes the way your cunt smells, but he's always wanted to get better at actually fucking you, because all those fantasies he's harbored since the very beginning of his obsession with you almost always involve you coming undone on his cock. His thumb isn't as talented as his tongue, though, and so even if he rubs it while he's pounding into you, he'll always have to finish you off with his mouth. (At least he gets to taste the intoxicating mix of your slick and his cum - a sign that at least he made you feel a little good.)

Enji Todoroki is the opposite of Tetsurou - he's had lots of practice with actually fucking, and his hips and thighs have enough muscle that he can spend hours rutting into you at the same pace, angle and force, effectively battering your poor pussy in the best way possible. He's pretty receptive about following whatever set of those three factors you like best (though he shines best when he's fucking you nice and slow, deeply and meaningfully when he's got you folded up in a mating press), and while he does prefer being inside you over everything else, he desperately, desperately wants to get good at going down on you. He'd never really bothered when he was Rei, but with he actually wants to taste you, and the thought of you creaming all over his face (or, even more, squirting on his face) is enough to get him half hard in an instant, licking his lips and spreading your legs before you can even protest.

Phinks Magcub has thick, sturdy fingers, callouses dotting them and a few scars left from particularly nasty fights. He's got good stamina and can spend long periods of time moving his fingers the exact way you like them, never tiring of feeling how warm and spongy your walls are, always with a flush on his cheeks and the slightest bit of awe in his eye when he looks at you. He likes fingering you, watching you fall apart for him when he grinds the heel of his palm against your sensitive little clit, but he really wants to learn how to make you come on his cock, because there's nothing more intimate to him than the idea of him fucking you well enough to make you flutter around him. He knows most women can't come from penetration alone, but he's nursing the hope that maybe, if he gets good enough, you'll become one of those few.

Some possess natural ability between the sheets, even if they don't have all that much experience. It's like they intuitively know what to do, how to move their bodies in ways that get women moaning and gasping. Part of it is because they're good at observing, diligently watching the expressions of their partners and making note of what gets them grasping at the sheets the hardest, or what makes them clench down the tightest. It's more methodical than anything else, but the end result is the same. They almost always get their partners to orgasm, through sheer determination and attention to detail.

The one unfortunate side to this category is that they're the kind that care most about actually making you feel good - to the point where they will force the sex to continue, not willing to stop eating you out or fingering you until you're making a mess and whimpering their name, for better or for worse. It's almost disturbing, their eagerness and commitment to getting you off, and while you're grateful that they care so much about making sure you enjoy yourself, there's something genuinely unsettling about it. When all is said and done they tend to look worse off than you, their faces bright red and slick smeared all over their lips and chin, a small smile sitting on their lips that feels out of place with how swollen and puffy said lips are. But they're trying, and it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, at least you have something to look forward to when they slowly pull down your pants.

Keiji Akaashi is a wonderful example of this; he loves the way you respond to his fingers, how you bite your lip and keen his name, voice all airy and gaspy as he curls them just right, making you see stars. He's committed to you, and while his skills weren't particularly strong in the beginning of your 'relationship', Keiji is a quick learner and was able to pick up on exactly what you liked pretty fast. He's a little unnerving when he's concentrating, though, because he's deadly silent and just staring at your cunt, a combination that leaves you squirming in more than just pleasure.

Pakunoda is another one who possesses some natural talent in the bedroom - she takes everything slow and really takes her time with you, always making sure to draw out every sensation that she can, just because she wants you feeling the full breadth of pleasure she's offering you. She doesn't mind long, drawn-out session, even preferring them, and so while it takes a long time (sometimes long enough for you to consider just calling it quits), she'll eventually get you off. She just likes to be meticulous about it.

Shouta Aizawa is basically a virgin when he develops his infatuation with you, having only slept with one or two women when Hizashi and Nemuri take him out drinking and he indulges just a little too much. He makes up for it, though, because he's quite talented with his tongue, and he's good at holding back his own pleasure and delaying his orgasm until you've reached yours, elongating the sex and making it so that you have enough time to actually let the pleasure build to the point of spilling over. He refuses to come first, and while sometimes it happens despite his best effort, he's got a strong sense of determination and will get you moaning his name and gushing all over him.

But, quite frankly, managing to qualify as one of the categories listed is not an honor most yanderes get to enjoy. Most are fine, thoroughly average in bed, maybe managing to make you come without the aid of a toy sometimes, but there's not a whole lot of consistency.

Others, however, are especially dismal; sex with them probably isn't something you look forward to too much, because while it can feel good, more often than not it's fun for about five minutes and then you're ready for it to be over. Not that you'd tell them that, though - not if you value whatever semblance of freedom you've managed to ascertain, and especially not if you value your ability to walk normally the next day. (They'll substitute in fucking you hard for fucking you well, which, as expected, doesn't have the results they wish for.)

Some are fully, utterly convinced that they are in fact a sex god - despite their shortcomings. Maybe it's a result of previous partners lying and building their confidence, or based on total delusions, or even a stubborn bit of pride unwilling to let them believe they could fail at something. Regardless, it leaves them in a position where they only sort of understand what they need to do in order to get you feeling good - there's an attempt, most of the time, but they normally don't have the patience or stamina to last long enough to reach your orgasm. They'll just be finding a good rhythm when they're fucking you, rolling their hips just right, before deciding that it might be better to flip you over, or that the angle is starting to kill their back and they need to change it up. Honestly, it's frustrating more than anything else - you're always so close, before it's snatched away from you without a care.

Tomura Shigaraki, unfortunately, is a victim of this mindset. He's watched enough porn to feel like he's got a good, general grip on what should happen during sex, fully believing that while some of what he's watched is obviously fake (he's not stupid - he knows how difficult and unlikely getting a girl to squirt is, even though he'd kill to get you squirting for him), he's picked up tips on the more realistic aspects of porn. (He hasn't, and it doesn't work - jackhammering into you like a rabbit doesn't have the affects he's expecting, because instead of moaning his name and gushing around his cock like all those pornstars do, you just seem to wince and beg him to slow down.)

Nobunaga Hazama, too, can't seem to fully grasp the fact that he isn't the best sexual partner. He tends to get overly excited, always eager to see the way you're responding to his touch, and the moment your expression or voice lulls in any way, he's moving on to the next thing he can do to get you screaming his name, even when the new thing is the exact opposite of what you need to get off. He just doesn't really have the patience to successfully make you come most of the time, and even if you gently correct him, he'll just shush you, telling you with conviction that it'll feel good soon, that he knows what makes you feel good, so you just need to sit back and take it.

Yuuji Terushima is simply too hyperactive and excited when he's in bed with you to stay focused on one thing at a time - similarly to Nobunaga, you'll be constantly changing positions or switching from fucking to grinding to oral and back again to really make any progress towards your orgasm. The one thing Yuuji has going for him, though, is that he actually does possess skills in the bedroom - he is genuinely good at going down on you, that damn tongue piercing always adding an extra layer of stimulation and making your head spin. He's good at aiming when he's fucking you, and it's his only saving grace - if you go at it for long enough, you may end up managing to come, but it's never a guarantee.

Some are just too unsure of their skills, and it's reflected in the way that they can't commit to one single thing. Frankly, they're not even that bad at touching you - they don't suck, often just the opposite, but their lack of experience and confidence between the sheets leads to fleeting touches and lots of unsure, half-hearted attempts at making you feel good. They don't expect you to be able to come from just a few thrusts of their fingers inside your gooey, warm cunt, but when you don't, it still doesn't make them feel any better. They're overwhelmed, frankly, and they feel such intense pressure to make sure that everything is perfect that they end up floundering, too scared to choose one single thing (fingering you, eating you out, fucking you, or even just grinding against you) and see it through to fruition. They're just nervous - it's palpable, really, and with time you can slowly coax them into feeling more confident and comfortable, but they'll never be able to fully shake the feeling that they're not good enough to really satisfy you in bed. It's sad, more than anything, and the longer you let the problem go unaddressed, the harder improving their skills will be.

Machi Komacine is afraid of intimacy, and because she herself relies quite heavily on toys whenever she gets in the mood to get herself off, her own fingers aren't too used to the motions and movements required to properly touch you. She hasn't had to sink her fingers inside herself for years, really, always replacing them with the pink plastic vibrator or dildo, but she's much too embarrassed to admit that to you. (Though, she's even more embarrassed to actually try and learn/practice on you - poor Machi, because she's even too emotionally closed off to properly discuss it with you.)

Kei Tsukishima, in his defense, is scared that he'll hurt you. He's got this unreasonable worry that he's not good enough for you, and while he hides this well in how he interacts with you, it becomes very obvious the moment that either of you are naked and yearning for each other's touch. He's just very unsure, and the weight of knowing that he could displease you or leave you unsatisfied leaves him wanting to just not even bother trying, too pessimistic to see a solution in which he'll actually manage to make you come.

Shuichi Iguchi, similarly to Kei, fears hurting you, but he's more crippled by the knowledge that he's never intimately touched someone before, and the omnipresent paranoia eating at him that wonders how you could ever find him attractive. He's too scared of your rejection to really put himself into a situation where he can put his 100% effort into anything sexual with you, so for now he'll settle with fingering you for a few moments, then kissing you (his fingers having slipped out), then simply pressing his cock against your folds, unmoving, just feeling.

So really, there's a whole variety of bedroom skills - it's more about the combination of your specific likes and dislikes in bed alongside their strengths (or lack thereof) that decides whether the sex is good. But, quite frankly, it doesn't really matter - the likelihood of you being able to escape any of the yanderes listed above is quite low, and gets even lower when you consider whether they'd be able to track you down and snatch you up again. So really, it doesn't matter whether they're a sex god or not - you'll never be sleeping with another person in your life, and they sure as hell won't either.

(Thanks for the ideas anon! This style ask is always fun to answer! I hope this doesn't set off your ick about pigeonholing characters as sex gods - they aren't perfect, I promise!)

[ramiethewizard]

I have many critiques on Keeper of the Lost Cities. Don’t get me wrong, I love it as a series. But like any series, there are both obvious and unobvious flaws. Since I finally have a place online to talk about them I thought I’d share my thoughts! (Disclaimer: this is not bashing on Shannon Messenger or the series in any way!)

1. Too many protagonists

The series was fairly okay with the original gang in the earlier books. That group being Sophie, Keefe, Fitz, Biana, and Dex. There was a chance to connect with all of the characters and grow on each of them. I know I know, characters like Biana and Dex were still pushed aside a bit but they had a better chance at being involved again. But then only more and more protagonists joined. Adding Tam and Linh was iffy, but fine. Then you add Marella, Maruca, Wylie, Stina, all those people. We don’t have a chance to connect with the characters.

2. Obvious favoritism

A few people have pointed this out already, and I thought I’d do the same. Shannon has very clear favorites of the series - which is fine, don’t get me wrong. But sometimes it’s used a little too much. Keefe is a very obvious favorite. We constantly focus on him and his story. At this point, Sophie AND Keefe are the protagonists. I love Keefe, but I want to learn about the injustices and discrimination of Bad Matches from Dex. I want to learn about the expectations of being a Vacker from Fitz and Biana. See what I’m saying?

3. Little plots abandoned

I feel like there have been so many times where Shannon starts this little idea and then throws it away. If you reread the books, you seem to find so many instances where there’s something, and then it’s just abandoned. For example, Magnate Leto (Forkle) says in I think Exile how he doesn’t have a wife and he seems quite sad about it. Or the time in…Flashback I believe where we meet Tinker. Tinker is such an interesting character. She freaks out when Forkle talks about explosives and he said that he wouldn’t make her build them - ‘not again’. HUH? And we’ve gotten no more out of it.

4. Overly focused on romance

Probably my biggest pet peeve with the series is that it is so so focused on romance. Having romance in the series is fine but there’s so much. I feel like Sophie barely even has any character left. You can tell that Shannon was just really excited to write the romantic relationships because even in the first book (WHEN SHES TWELVE) there are already intense moments. And the biggest thing is that characters like Keefe and Fitz (the love interests) are so much more important than characters like Biana and Dex (the friends). It’s a weird thing because Sophie should be apart of both groups but there’s just a weird focus on the guys that she’s into.

5. Lack of diversity

This is something that I think should just be improved in general. Most of the protagonists are very stereotypical and don’t have any diversity. Most of the main characters are white - which is fine but when it gets to be that ALL of the protagonists are, it just gets a little…you know? I mean, Tam, Linh, and Wylie are not white but they’re also not focused on at all in the series. It’s one of the reasons why people headcanon the Vackers to be POC so much. There’s also no LGBTQ+ characters - which again, fine for the most part but also…people of the queer community are incredibly common and the KOTLC characters seem so…not straight. So the fact that it’s been like ten books and there hasn’t been anything is just a little eh. Same with mental health, or physical abilities. Just a lack of diversity.

I love this series a lot, but like anything, it can always improve. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[thyshadowwriter]

hiii can i req ubbe getting jealous (in a cute way) when you are giving attention to someone else? like with pouts and stuff... thank uuu ♡

A/n: Thank you! We love fluff (and a bit of jealousy) in this house Not me writing something completely different at first lol

Being married to Ubbe was like living a dream. He was absolutely gorgeous, easily the most handsome man you ever saw, but that was just a part of him; He always treated you with love and care, completely unbothered to show his affection in public and perhaps a bit too comfortable.

If you had to point out a flaw, it would be his jealousy. It was not very pronounced, but it at times showed its head, even if he was lovely about it. It puzzled the mind as to why Ubbe would think he had any reason to be jealous, but he did. You never actively tried to stoke his jealousy, but it happened nonetheless.

Kattegat was in a festive mood, summer arrived and the celebrations were at their peak. People were happy, and there was plenty to be distracted. So you left Ubbe to his brothers and their pet peeves and went to catch up with your friends, hearing their stories and gossip, not really paying attention to whatever else was going on. Normally you would talk for a while with others then go back to Ubbe, but the conversation was actually fun and being away from the Ragnarssons drama was good too.

You looked around and met with your husband's gaze. He was with his brothers, who were on their own antics, but he paid them no mind, he was interested in you and gestured for you to come over. You smiled at him, but continued where you were. You still wanted to stay with your group a while more.

A while turned into an hour and Ubbe came to you, though you didn’t see where from. For a man his size, he sure knew how to be quiet as a cat and your friends seemed as surprised and mildly scared. His presence alone silenced your friends, even though he didn’t even bother looking at them.

“Come sit with me?”

“Soon, my love. I want to talk with my friends a little longer.”

He said nothing, gave an annoyed look to your friends and walked away to his seat. 

One of your friends asked you, looking just a little paler than before:

“Does your husband not like us?”

“What? No! It’s just his brothers.”

They didn't seem very convinced, but you continued talking nonetheless. For how long you didn't know but at some point one of your friends pointed out the prince's less then entertained expression.

When you looked at Ubbe you instantly noticed his mood was sour. His head was thrown back and he was staring directly at you with tight lips and wide eyes, nursing his mug of ale but not actually drinking any of it. For such an outstanding warrior, he sure had a flair for the drama and it was clear he was not enjoying being ignored.

The only thing that made him look away with a roll of his eyes was something Ivar said to Sigurd that apparently was outrageous enough to make him drink his ale in one gulp and shut both of them up. Usually, Ubbe would be more patient with his brothers, but when he was jealous, his patience was notably short.

You excused yourself from your friends and went to your husband, who turned his full attention to you.

“Ubbe.”

He tilted his head, looking at you accusatory with those clear blue eyes that never hid what he was feeling. His lips were shut tight, he was annoyed, but it was hard to take him seriously when his annoyance made his lips unintentionally make a pout that you couldn’t help but lean down to kiss it away.

He welcomed the light kiss, but was still very much annoyed.

“You remember you have a husband.”

“Don’t be like that. I was just talking with my friends.”

“I know. For the entire day. I thought you might spend the entire night with them as well.”

“Oh, no. That I wanted to spend with you alone.”

The thought didn’t fail to better his mood, making him smile and the corner of his eyes crinkle a bit.

“Are you mad at me?” You asked him.

Ubbe, instead of answering, put his mug on the table and reached his hand to you. You took his hand and he pulled you close, for a kiss you though, but before your face could be close to his, he picked you up and sat you on his lap, holding you in place with a tight grip in one hand and taking his mug back with the other. Back to his serene expression like he made no effort at all, resting his hand on your lap.

“I can’t be mad at you. I can be mad at your friends.”

[ca-suffit]

I'm actually quite sad that we haven't found out ANYTHING about Armand in the epilogue. I mean, turning Daniel is such a huge point in his character, so we'll (hopefully) revisit that in future seasons, but other than that?? Did he take the magnolia tree with him? It's either that or Louis took it out and we know that tree has meaning for him (he has been growing a magnolia even back in Paris).

I know we're not meant to know where he fucked off, but I'd love to see just a tiny tiny glimpse with him alone. Is he with Marius?? DID HE PUNISH HIMSELF BY GOING TO MARIUS BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE???

Idk, the ending was too cartoonishly evil for him specifically, which is strange since this was the present time, so we assume that what we see is the truth. Liniar movie action style. Of course, it's evil via omission of his side of things, so it makes sense he seems evil. But I still think it would've been better if we had some extra 5 minutes in this episode and squished in there a small scene with, idk, Armand crying in an unrecognisable place (even just due to him transforming Daniel). It can simply be a dark room, so they don't have to build Marius' lair already, but ye know. It would be a glimpse that he's actually NOT okay, lol.

This is my only pet peeve, but trusting the writers to present the other side of the coin when we get back to his POV of things. Just hoping that won't simply be in season 5 of all things, lol. Even Lestat got a bit of POV (via the trial) during Louis' seasons, so they'll probs cram it in seasons 3-4 somehow (with Daniel povs).

Sorry for the rant, I hope this makes sense.

u can rant! it's ok. I know there's a lot going on here that ppl are rly disappointed in.

I am personally holding out that S3 will comment a lot on this. I feel like S2 ended similar to how S1 did with Lestat. Armand is a major character in the plot of TVL as well as QotD and a lot they're prbly going to be piecing together for S3. He's not just "gone" (not that u were saying this, I'm saying in general) and I trust that they'll be answering a lot about this and him in S3 or they will risk losing a lot of viewers tbh.

I know it looks cartoonishly villain like rn but I don't believe long term that is the vision for him. The point is that all of these vampires are deeply flawed and traumatized and hurt each other bcuz of it, bcuz they want to be luved so badly but also don't think they're worthy of it.

The fandom is definitely going to suffer thru this in ways tho. some of the lestans are already overly doing the victim bullshit of "now u know how we felt after S1." but they made a whole lot of racist choices to defend the white character so no it's not the same tbh, when ur trying to defend a brown character against a racist fandom.

[missninapea]

My pet peeves of being an average Hazbin Hotel fan:

•The hatedom: The hate and negativity towards the show and Viv honestly gets under my skin. Like it's totally fine if you simply dislike it and let people enjoy things that are not your cup of tea, but if you seriously HATE this show and the creators other work with a BURNING passion, I suggest that you don't interact with my blog or maybe even block the tags and stuff. Like, if you despise Viv, just ignore her stuff and move on with your day.

•Redesigns: Redesigning/reimagining characters can be a great thing for putting your own twist in them. Also for character design practice, expressing creativity, and for having fun. However, it can also be used out of pure hate, saying they "FIXED" them, or saying that their art is "BETTER" than Viv's which bothers me a little. Saying "OMG THIS LOOKS SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL" "I REALLY PREFER THIS DESIGN THAN VIV'S. SHE LITERALLY CAN'T DO CHARACTER DESIGN FOR SHIT!" "LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER OMGGG!"🙄Like, you can still critique the designs of the characters while being respectful and constructive, that's fine. I have a few critiques myself actually.

•Vivziepop: Vivzie is one of my favorite artists. Her art really inspired me so much ngl. But I'm very aware that she's flawed and not perfect. I hate when people dig up all of her controversies just to make her a villain and make her look bad. I really don't. She also responded to criticisms from antis on Twitter. In my opinion, I don't think she should've replied to them. It could be draining and also unhealthy for her mental health. I'm honestly worried for her. Maybe she should hire a social media manager or something idk. I very much care about her well-being. And some even don't support her because of her controversies.

I know you can like a show, but not the creator. I like Viv. I only support her dreams and achievements for making awesome cartoons, but maybe not her as a person. I hope she can improve and do better so she wouldn't receive any more hate.

•Guilt: Every time I see so much bashing and negativity towards Hazbin or Helluva, I would end up dwelling on it, feeling extremely guilty, ashamed, embarrassed for being a little fan. It can be very draining for me and a risk for my mental health if I constantly dwell and soak up their negative opinions. And I hate that feeling. It makes me question why I shouldn't enjoy the things I love. And it hurts.

So yeah..I don't normally post things like this, but I just needed to get that out of my system. Don't worry, I'm okay.❤️😊

[fennelockley]

An analysis of the Toymaker and The Giggle

I'm completely unhinged for this character so this is going to be LONG long. But there's a brief character analysis at the top.

Character portrayal - Perfection. Has exactly all the points and quirks of the OG character while NPH builds upon it in his own way - and everything he does is perfect and in character.

Mannerisms - This feels so bizzare to say, but we barely have any footage of the Toymaker before this episode. So this is essentially all we have to go on in terms of body language, facial expressions, etc. This is all new, but it feels like it's been a part of this character all along.

A character that's portrayed as being full of energy, shifting emotions and tones like masks - he doesn't sit still for a moment, he's constantly shifting even if its just the minutest of facial expressions. And we finally get to see it!!

The explanation - The Doctor always has an understanding of what he's up against, even if it takes him time to learn. But the Toymaker was essentially the very first enemy the Doctor ever meets (ty Divided Loyalties), and he still doesn't have an explanation as to who or what he is, or how he does things.

This was the bit that had me worried about the episode, and I know people like an explanation - but I'm of the firm belief that the Toymaker should always defy explanation and any known logic. The moment you understand him - he fundamentally changes and you've lost all understanding. You can't use the same trick twice.

New canon points:

- Being brought into this realm through a superstition at the edge of the universe. Such a brilliant and poetic way to summon such a character.

- Not having a choice but to accept a challenge. Normally, the Toymaker would accept anything tbh. But he wasn't bound by nature to accept. This episode has made it a fundamental flaw of his character. That does, unfortuantly, make it easier to beat him. But I like it, it fits the character, it makes sense. And, no matter how much I love him being this untouchable godly powerful person, he does need flaws.

This also goes hand in hand with the OG canon about how he can't accept failure. His down fall in Solitaire.

And I'll also point out the tibit about him being incapable of cheating. The Toymakers biggest pet peeve, numero uno way to piss him off.

What I wish was different/could have been added:

- The Toymaker is infamous for his tantrums. We got his show-off personality to the 10s, but we didn't see him register his loss properly. Should have let him had his toddler moment.

- I wouldn't change how it was, but I know what feels so... wrong? With this episode. I think the reason it's not hitting about how powerful he is is because he's not in his own universe, that sheer fear that he controls everything adds an extra dimension to the story. But we got to see a snipit of it when they were lost in the toy shop - so that works for me.

_______ The lengthy episode analysis _______

Opening scene

Firstly, I was ridiculously happy that he appereaed straight away. I've waited so long 🖤

But first up is the Toy Room. Which is about as close as we get to his realm in this episode (and judging by it collapsing later on, I'm assuming it is a smaller form of his realm).

This is what the the original episode would have shown if they had the budget. Classic, old, and creepy toys filling a room to the brim. It looks so childlike and nostalgic until you look closer at the items.

Big Finish have described a very similar setting before, in Solitaire, but to see it visually is amazing.

And he fits right in to his habitat.

Very classic Toymaker in this scene. Reminded me alot of Solitaire when Charley walks into his toy shop, and he's talking talking talking - never ending commentary about his crafts, the theatrical speech mannerisms and near child-like excitement when he's speaking about his dolls.

His almost pouty way of speaking when Stooky Bill is being chosen but not his family, one again a very classic mannerism. This is a character that switches emotions, accents, and tones of voice quicker than light - and NPH does it well. He even drops to mimicking the other guys accent, not even trying to hide his mockery.

And I loved the tibit about taking the hair from a victim - "she will not miss it" - the whole idea that a victim succumbs to his play if they lose (but we will touch on that later).

The street view

Then we move onto the insanity. The Toymaker is already there, practically following the Doctor about. He's there in the background when the Doctor tries to calm that man down, and he purposely bumps into the Doctor a moment later.

"Ooh La La"

Next mockery he makes of an accent. This is purposeful nod back to unfortunate racist element in the 60s. He mocks and copy's, because its funny to him. Humans are just pawns for amusment to him, and messing around with their characteristics like that is a small part of it.

Purely in his element in this scene, he's got that blissful and happy look to his face - a creature of chaos, in the chaos that he caused.

Back in time

First face off between the Doctor and the Toymaker. Loved the little peek-a-boo dance they did through the windows.

In the Doctor goes and the Toymaker doesn't give him time to breathe. His speech is brilliant, and I'd like to think the whole "killing a man with a rock" was a Torvic mention.

Endless sense of humour and quips at the characters expense, that falls flat as they're too tied up trying to figure him out.

The endless juggling balls was a brilliant touch; such a small way to show the Toymakers powers but it gets the point across immediately that something isn't right.

The sheer fear radiating off of the Doctor that you can see leak onto Donna as she steps back and quietens down. Very few characters make the Doctor feel that way, and it's of course aimed at the one that's caused the most trauma in his life. And one that's barely survivable.

The shift in accent once the Doctor has clocked him, his little bow - and of course, the flash back to Michael Gough and the first episode, with NPH nailing his smirk. For someone that didn't know what Doctor Who was until he was cast as the Toymaker, NPH is the spitting image of the original character. Everything up to this point has been how others have portrayed the character, and NPH carries all of that forward in his performance.

Hide and Seek

If its one thing I like about this character, is that he can't stay in one state for longer than a moment. He's constantly moving, shifting states. The moment the Doctor gets steady feet the Toymaker rips the floor from under him.

This is a character where you're barely keeping your head above water with, one that just doing your all to survive against that you don't have time to think about defeating him just yet.

I could be here forever in this scene, but ill cut to my favourite bits:

- The backrooms. Because of course the Toymaker would have an never ending maze of corridors and doors as one of his tricks. The Doctor is immediately fed up and unsure of how to deal with this.

- Telling Donna he might not be able to save her this time :( as I will always say, the Toymaker is a character you survive, not defeat (and this is still true for the ending of this episode).

- "when I was young, I made a terrible mistake" you can pry Divided Loyalties from my dead hands this was a nod to that I don't care what anyone else says.

- The living puppet of his earlier victim. Another classic Toymaker move - death is a nice way to lose to him, because he usually keeps you for eternity to do as he pleases with.

- The God like hovering above the Doctor with the marionette strings. Perfect way to show the power imbalance.

The Showroom

"WELL THATS ALRIGHT THEN"

Puppet master with dolls of the Doctors companions, the whole set, the critique of the Doctors handling of his companions (hello, Divided Loyalties again)

The immediate shift in demeanour the moment the Doctor challenges him. Little creature of his games, the only thing he takes seriously.

And that beautiful surreal shuffling? That was all NPH, whos said to have a natural talent for such a thing.

The casual boasting of what he considers normal activities for himself. Doing such impossibly powerful things and hes just... and? So what about it? Very on brand. The Supernova mention was a nod at Nightmare Fair.

Trapping the Master. Hysterical. That's 3 people from the Deca that have lost to him now. Did Koschei learn NOTHING from Divided Loyalties?!?! Also trapping the Master within his body, similar to Rallon 👀

"The one who waits" and him supposedly being scared of it? What the ever loving hell could make the Toymaker run? In terms of Who lore, he's the most powerful thing out there. I'm intrigued.

The whole unraveling of the plot with the human race. Making everyone think they're right. Toymaker, that's low hanging fruit, but I respect the lesson.

And his little switch from calm to excitable the moment he wins. He's a big kid.

"He'll cheat" favourite bit of canon of all, and it's stood through all of the characters stories. The Toymaker hates cheating. He'll find loopholes that look like cheating, of course, but cheating itself? Big no no and an automatic failure (how the Doctor lost in Divided Loyalties).

"I'm already running" pretty much all stories end with his realm collapsing, interesting that it's his choice this time.

~ Spice Girls ~

This is where it stops becoming a homage to the OG character, and NPH makes it his own variation.

The only way I can describe the Spice Up Your life scene is that - it was in character, but its a side we haven't seen from him before.

That's such an interesting thing to happen, it's completely and uniquely NPH but it adds and makes sense to the character.

An all-powerful entity that taunts his power by dancing circles around his victims, both sinister and bizzare. An antagonistic move to make people uncomfortable and flaunt that he's untouchable. Extremely him, I'm upset that we haven't had this until this moment. But NPH killed it 🖤

The Doctor just before it happens looking all grave and at a loss "oh, I think he's here". Such beautiful juxtaposition.

Trapping peoples souls in bouncy balls - yes.

The rose petals - A mockery and I love it.

Dancing with people - me next please.

He turned up, was unnecessarily camp, and left again. No reason for him to have done except that he wanted to *chefs kiss*

His heart hands as he leaves, I did it right back.

Also his best outfit in my opinion!

The Laser

"I think they're still falling" that was sinister, my good god man. I shouldn't have laughed but I did.

"All that exists is to win, or to lose" his mentality and existance boiled down into that once sentence.

The whole part where the Doctor proposes to him, lmao. Actually a nod back to the OG episode...

The Toymaker doesn't like being told no, so he's probably remembering this moment.

His speech about humanity, and all the games they play within their existance.... 🗣🗣 SOLITAIRE 🗣🗣 such a brilliant and sinister speech in that audio, and this is very similar and uniquely different. Love it love it love it. "You make me dizzy"

Catch

The Bigeneration possibly being his doing, brilliant. Although I have my own seperate feelings on that topic.

Loosing to a simple game of catch. Others would say that's over whelming, but when it comes to powerful complex characters - simple is the way to go, they're too in their own heads to foresee the simple defeats.

The Toymaker is bound by winning and failure, that's always been the same. But he wasn't in his own realm this time, so him being booted from existance instead works out.

This wasn't a defeat. This was a singular win. He's had his soul scattered, he's been collapsed into a singularity, he's had his realm collapse around him multiple times. But you can't touch him. He's like a boomerang, you can throw it as hard as you want but it's never truely gone. You can't kill him, and you can't defeat him completely.

100/10 brilliant portrayal, excellently brought back to modern audiences. Beautiful beautiful episode I have it on repeat.

If you've made it this far, you're probably as unhinged as I am - so hi, welcome to the madness, and thank you for reading.

[adamworu]

Have you seen Codex Entry's video titled "The End of Evangelion Is (Not) A Happy Ending - An Analysis & Critique"? She makes a lot of interesting points in that.

First things first, it keeps hitting me how numerous the death threats were that GAINAX got. The contempt of man, followed by a disgusting lack of consequence has always been a central theme in Evangelion. Seeing just how painful the imitation of art to life is feels like opening old wounds. They were instrumental in EoE's conception among other things (Anno putting his feelings into film being another). The quick flashes of ire in written form really helps give EoE that unshakable bitter, pessimistic feel.

(warning for strong personal talks of suicide under the cut)

Anno's mental health worsened at the main series' end. People weren't satisfied with how it ended. They drove him to the point of contemplating suicide. If Anno's reflection of himself manifest through some of the characters, this makes Shinji's state before the infamous sequence even more haunting.

The interviewer asked 'What stopped you?' to which Anno replies 'The prospect of pain. I didn't mind dying I didn't want it to hurt.'

I didn't want it to hurt.

As someone with fluctuating highs and lows of mental health, this struck me more than I'd like to admit. During my periods of contemplating ending it all, one of my greatest fears was the pain. That death isn't the peaceful embrace from it all. That your lasting regrets die with you as your loved ones would eventually find you and become horrified at the fleshy shell that once had a name. You hear their faint screams, your strength is all but gone, and that flickering light within you is snuffed forever.

'Faced with the reality, I stopped.'

I think there's something even more painful about the end. There is no pain, but was lies on the other side...if anything?

EoE asks what if self-loathing becomes our being? Who you are affects your very being. And Shinji's self-hatred seeps into the cast, then the whole world. Considering Shinji's status as an audience surrogate, this sort of thing is very much aimed at the audience, especially those targeting Anno and GAINAX.

I personally don't think, however that EoE is an inverse to EoTV (series end). I do agree with her (Codex Entry), however that EoE is the horrifying reality of if the wrong person turns their back on humanity. EoE is more the explicit version on how humanity came to be in Instrumentality. I still wouldn't call it pessimistic even after all these years. EoTV sees the characters with more self-fulfilled arcs in the very end. There's a sense of catharsis from cast and viewer alike from having climbed a mountain of epiphany and acceptance. EoTV feels more convenient, albeit not unnaturally so.

EoE is more explicit with Shinji's flaws. They stare him in the face with no hesitation. These fears are far uglier and portray him less favorably. Less sympathetically. He views the girls and women around him as how they'd be of benefit. His ire isn't just about the realization that they're people with feelings and complexities deserving of empathy. It's also that those girls and women can as well as do hold the right to exist without him. He sentences the whole world to metaphorical death by way of relinquishment of the AT Field due to his own insecurities. His locus of control is viewed externally. His deterministic point of view harms everyone around him. The train scene is shown here and it parallels his talk with Leliel in episode 16. He blames his reality rather than hold himself accountable.

This is the importance of 'What is your hand for?' It's a gentle nudge into the prospect of free will. It's not just a doctrine of freedom, but one that argues that you are culpable.

My one and only pet peeve with the essay is the confusion of happiness and positivity multiple times throughout. EoE isn't happy, but it is positive. If we were to look at EoE as its own universe rather than a metatext, it is intensely depressing. It tells you that with your hands you can better the world around you. With the fact that it's self-aware considered, it acts as a cautionary tale, that intense self-loathing and disdain serves not just to poison you, but others. We don't all have the ability to damn the human race to metaphorical death until to bring them back because we don't exist. Shinji is understood in Codex' video to be an audience surrogate to great detail. EoE is the existence that did not want to be. Rather than being nihilistic and ireful, it grabs the audience with trembling fingers, saying 'For the love of God, be empathetic. It won't kill you! You are ruining everyone around you with your contempt for outside agency and your arrogance. Please...!'

End of Evangelion is Nyquil. It tastes strong and it tastes bad. Everyone needs bad tasting medicine if they want to get well. So drink the damn medicine.

[messymindofmine]

How long is this Owen hate thing going to go on? It's honestly kind of funny how people seem to just look for reasons to hate on him. I feel like 404 just gave them even more reason to do so while simultaneously deifying the Reyes'. The thing is, my problem isn't even with the characters, I like them all. My problem is with the double standards. The Reyes' are obviously not perfect either. And even though Carlos’s relationship with them seems to be better, the fact that he didn't feel like he could go to them after him and TK broke up shows that things are still not great between them. Not to mention Gabriel's comment about how Carlos should have corrected Andrea's mistake in 211 rather than think about why their son wouldn't feel comfortable introducing his boyfriend to them in the first place.

I think Carlos’s face says it all here. Mind you, this was after Bad Call yet apparently Gabriel still doesn't recognize his mistakes with Carlos. Not only that but now apparently we need do add the fact that he felt like such a disappointment to them that he married a woman and they just let him go through with it despite knowing he was gay. I love the scenes we got with Gabriel in 404 but I don't like how it seems that even those have been weaponized against Owen. Yes, Gabriel saved his son and it was beautiful but Owen has done the same more than once. I mean, the episode is meant to be a parallel of Bad Call where Owen and Carlos were the ones that teamed up. Not to mention when TK got shot in 108, Owen sat with him the whole time stroking his face and talking to him. He apparently didn't even leave the hospital for a shower. When TK woke up, it was his dad he called for before he even opened his eyes and Owen was right there. And then Owen saved him again in 110.

Even the scene where TK revives Carlos is a parallel to Owen reviving TK in the pilot

Look, there's no denying that Owen is flawed and to be fair it is easier to focus on Owen's flaws since he's the main character and we see more of him but that still doesn't make the double standard any less unfair. Owen didn't ignore TK at all in 404. He picked up the phone despite the FBI lady not wanting him too. He looked at her like she was crazy for even thinking that he wouldn't pick up the phone bc "it's my son" and gave TK the best advice he could with what he knew. And he did this while the FBI lady badgered him and almost took the phone out of his hand. Yet there's literally people saying that it would be a good thing if Owen died and cheering on the FBI lady for making that comment.

I also don't buy the argument that Owen hasn't been apologetic about his mistakes. Out of all three parents, Owen is the one that is actually seen reflecting on his mistakes and and apologizing. People go after him for the "about to be a father" comment yet Owen himself expressed regret for it unprompted. He did it again in 316 when in the midst of his own struggles and dealing with his trauma, he called TK up just to tell TK that he loved him and that he was proud of him. He apologized for the distance between them and promised to do better. And we know they're going to be talking in 408. That closeness they had that we all were so charmed by in s1 existed for a reason. And we now know that the reason we haven't seen it in a while is going to be addressed.

Look, I love all three of the parents plus Gwyn but at the end of the day parents are human and all humans make mistakes and have flaws. I like how the show reminds us of that. What I don't like is the double standard and the way people look for reasons to hate on Owen. It's gotten to the point where I have to filter tags and be very careful what fics I read bc I'm not interested in anything that just makes Owen out to be this awful parent when that's very far from what he actually is. My biggest pet peeve with fandoms in general is double standards and the ones people have for Owen compared to the Reyes' and even Gwyn are too glaring for me to just ignore

[catchyhuh]

annoying habits

originally this was a tiny one sentence a piece thing but the more i thought about it the more i was like good god. these people are insufferable! pet peeve central right here

lupin: 

as we have previously discussed he just cannot sit still. it’s not REALLY that big of a deal unless you’ve had to sit beside him in silence for line five minutes and then he just. god. he’s shifting in his seat and his pants are crinkling he’s tapping on the counter he’s looking around the room for the hundredth time going “huh that’s new” under his breath. kidnapping this guy is an endurance test i have no idea why so many villains sincerely try it

interrupts. interrupts but not as much as you expect. it’s mostly when he’s way way invested in something and isn’t even thinking, but after he’s done it the first time he does it thirty more times over the remainder of the conversation like it’s some kinda gateway drug. his brain knows he can get away with it so he just keeps going so you gotta say “DUDE” the first time or he’ll just keep cutting you off

Double Dips.

jigen:

this is the part where i said aloud to myself “oh god i have to put smoking under all of them don’t i.” so just imagine that’s under all of them like canonically but ESPECIALLY jigen. at least the others have kind of sort of slowed down on that front but not jiggy. and if you say “you can’t smoke here” he’ll just grumble and keep the unlit one in his mouth and you KNOW he’s gonna light that shit the minute you’ve turned around so you have to watch him like a dog around slippers

CRACKS HIS KNUCKLES ALL THE TIME. it makes sense that the joints would stiffen up given how tense his trigger finger can get. just imagine it’s like dead silent for twenty minutes n then you hear “poppoppop” CMON BRO

interrupts more than you’d expect. because if you start saying some stupid shit he will NOT let you finish. “i just thought--” “oh you just THOUGHT” and then you can barely get a word in edgewise for the next two minutes because he’s just listing every flaw with your statement. like good lord

fujiko:

its more a thing she DOESN’T do but y’know when something is kinda sorta funny so you give a polite laugh. fujiko doesn’t do that (if she’s being sincere with her company) so you just get a flat smile and a “oh that’s funny” and it’s like is it? is it funny? girl c’mon you could at least pretend

tends to tap her nails on flat surfaces. or anything flat enough. not so jarring until shes wearing acrylics or some other thing and then its this loud, hollow tapping. jigen insists lupin picked up this habit from her

when she’s really fidgety or restless she tends to mess with her jewelry a bit, if it’s on the less ludicrously expensive “cannot be tarnished by human finger oils” side. usually it’s just twirling her bracelet or twisting her earrings, which is a relatively unobtrusive habit. the reason it’s annoying is because if absolutely anybody else even breathes on the jewelry she’ll start swatting at them like a fly insisting that “you’ll break it!!”

goemon: 

ooh i gotta think on this. it’s that discipline dude he’s literally forcing himself to just do nothing. which i guess could be eerily unnatural seeming and annoying in and of itself so win! but that’s such a non-answer so let’s add in he is the BIGGEST stickler about IOUs. yes more than fujiko. yes more than jigen. it’s not about money. it’s about honor. or at least that’s what he says but make no mistake if you borrowed 20 bucks from him he WILL be getting that shit BACK and will REMIND YOU at EVERY DAMN OPPORTUNITY

he. doesn’t have as solid a pokerface as you’d initially think. when something really is amusing to him he gets this insufferable little side smirk. only annoying after you’ve lost to him the third time in a row that day and he’s almost on the verge of GIGGLING about it now. sore winner. sore winner is the term i’m looking for.

STEALS FOOD! more than jigen, more than lupin, goemon does not give a shit. he will take the most beautiful, golden, perfectly seasoned fry right off your plate before you can even raise a finger. and then go “hm. just ok” MAN FUCK OFF

zenigata:

don't have to think on this at all. like i’ve said before he cannot sit still for the life of him, so literally whatever you’re imagining has happened and will happen thirty times more. every restless habit all of the above has he ALSO has. guy gets bored and puts the car in park and just starts pushing the accelerator just to pass the time. AND he interrupts more than lupin and jigen COMBINED because he has BOTH of their flavors here

talks with his mouth full. he doesn’t mean to. he doesn’t take a big bite of a burger and go “i can’t wait to spit out sesame seeds like a bb gun” he just isn’t thinking and won’t ever shut up if you drop a Key Phrase in front of him

clicks pens. over and over and over. technically ties into just being restless but it warrants a special mention because i cannot imagine the patience every poor motherfucker destined to work with him must have sitting next to him in a cop car at 2 in the morning with the obnoxious overhead light on, this clown looking over a clipboard or something, and all you can hear is “hmmmmm” *clickkaclickkaclickkaclick*

[necrotic-nephilim]

Any ships you don’t like in the batfam fandom that is popular?

OOOH this is such a fun question because I have quite a few

StephCass - i'll be honest this is one of those ships where the fandom ruined it for me. because 2000s StephCass is an elite dynamic, they care for each other so deeply. but the fandom has been intent on defanging and purifying this ship. i don't know *why* but StephCass seems most popular with the anti-Batcest crowd who get very mad if you compare it to ships they deem Batcest. i have an entire meta commentary on this in my drafts I'll likely never post discussing why the only reason StephCass gets the pass for not being Batcest ties directly into misogyny (because the women of the Batfam need to exist as love interests first, not family members so Steph was never going to truly get to exist as a "full" Batfam member so long as she could remain a viable love interest for Tim, and the same can apply to Babs, Helena, and even Cass in some cases) and that just sours me to it. like if i want yuri in Batfam i think there are far more interesting/fucked up ships for Steph like Babs/Steph or Helena/Steph. and when it comes to what i'd actually like to see in canon, i don't want to see Steph relegated to love interest of a Batfamily member, even if it's queer. let her date and exist outside of Gotham the way every other Batfam member gets to, DC *please*.

Bruce/Selina - i can't fully articulate why this ship isn't my thing, it just isn't. i think i just can't conceivably agree with Selina letting go of so many of her fundamental morals and beliefs for the sake of a man, even one she loves such as Bruce. ironically, i think that's one of the few things Gotham War got right about these two. the only canon love interest i like for Bruce is Zatanna and i mourn we'll never get much of that.

JayRoy - i will admit when i was newer to DC the first comics i picked up for Jason were all New-52 and i shipped this. but now that i'm a pre-Flashpoint truther and i've actually read well-written Roy Harper comics, i only see the flaws in this ship. ngl if ppl were actually fun and interesting with it, playing with the idea of Roy knowing Jason as Robin and still seeing him as just Dick's little brother who's gone a little mental, it *could* be fun. but this Red Hood & the Outlaws (2011) and Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) dynamic *butchers* the fuck out of Roy and strips him of everything interesting. and even as a Batfamily stan, my number one pet peeve is when other DC characters get *butchered* in a Batfamily character's book just for the sake of propping up the Bat as some kind of savior. free Roy Harper from this mans.

Bruce/Oliver - we could be here all day if i listed all the Bruce ships i don't like, but i figure this one has to be included. because oh my god either the people shipping this *really* don't understand Oliver Queen or they just hate his ass because why would you subject Oliver to this man. he can't *stand* Bruce. i really hate the popular BruOliie shipping dynamic of like "oh they were boarding school besties" because if you want that, you *should* like Bruce/Zatanna, not these two. Oliver just always gets butchered in these fics and i won't stand for it.

Tim/Bernard - the ESSAYS i could write on this ship and why i dislike it. the fucking *fear* DC (and most popular media tbh) has with depicting queer relationships as anything other than totally perfect and cute for fear of accusations of homophobia has stripped this ship of *any* real grit. Bernard is a non-character in Tim Drake: Robin, he exists to cheer Tim on and prop him up and just be The Boyfriend. we occasionally get glimpses of an interesting character with really interesting trauma and nothing is *done* with it bc at the end of the day, Tim and Bernard must be perfect and cute. what's fun about Tim is he is the *worst* boyfriend alive. that boy is *ass* at dating. all of his relationships are rich with conflict and yet the moment he dates a guy suddenly all of his flaws vanish? i hate it. i mourn what this could've been if we kept messy Tim Drake and had a Bernard who was actually informed by his trauma. DC please let gays be messy again. also of all of Tim's 90s/00s friends to bring back as a love interest, Bernard Dowd was just a *bizarre* fucking choice. Sebastian Ives was *right* there come on now.

Any Crossover Ship - look if crossovers are your cup of tea i'm happy for you but oh my god if i have to see that little green ghost boy or that ladybug girl in the Batfam one more time i think i may explode. i have a lot of thoughts on *why* i think specifically Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug get crossed over as often as they do with the Batfam, but i don't think anyone wants to year that. my only exception to this is Jason/Bucky Barnes, but it *has* to be comics!Bucky. like. Judd Winick's Jason and Ed Brubaker's Bucky would hatefuck and that i wish to see it. any other crossover ship (especially the Peter Parker ones that seem to be rising in popularity) just do *not* do it for me.

honestly besides that i don't think i dislike many ships. (aside from being super opinionated on Bruce ships, but that's mostly bc ppl will use him to butcher the character they ship him with) there are some ships i'm neutral to because i simply do not know enough to have an opinion (like Dick/Wally). i guess the only Batcest ship i'm not particular to is Bruce/Damian, but I wouldn't say that one is popular nor would i say i dislike it, just that it's not my cup of tea. most Batcest ships click for me in one way or another because i like their Weird dnyamics. i guess i could also say i dislike most ships that have come out of Young Justice (tv) because. oh my *god* why were those group of characters put together on a team. it's baffling. but even then it's not disliking those ships, it's moreso disliking that show's depiction of those characters so. everything is really dependant on the canon context for me!

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

hater moment alert

Cannot stand the girl autism is more acceptable than boy autism bc masking take….i can abide by shitty takes on fictional shit but i cannot let shallow analysis of real issues slide. What the hell is boy autism and girl autism!!! The neat splitting of the complex process of socialization, the ways healthcare works as a system of control that often disregards symptoms of women, the complex way ppl punish the ways ppl diverge from gender roles esp for women, and how diverse of a disease autism is. I know this is a complicated discussion in healthcare bc how we view behaviors differently w gender but dare I say a big reason women (just like poc in america) are underdiagnosed is medical neglect LMAO.

This is like an actual pet peeve of mine. Theres so many stupid long held medical myths in the field like the symptoms of heart attacks are different for women vs men w no statistical bearing or were borne out of statistical malpractice (nuanced topic im not gonna fully get into abt how health data is analyzed). We (i hope) are moving away from this stupid biological determinism ohhh diseases present differently in different genders/races/whatevers bc of (biological differences/genetics/epigenetics and ooo this doesnt have anything to do w the long standing beliefs eugenics still has on how we view health ooooo bc eugenics was #cancelled and theres no troubling inheritances from it ) and acknowledging the reason why mortality differences exist are overwhelmingly bc of health inequities. I know behavioral issues are different. But they are often medicalized similarly and demographics are often homogenized when within groups ppls experiences are incredibly diverse. Anyways.

edit: this is not a dont trust the medical system go to a naturopath instead thing. Naturopaths are scammers. I generally think its a good thing medicine has moved to having evidence behind it, but our ways of collecting and executing it can be deeply flawed.

edit: its in bad form to make medical claims without sources and i dont aim to spread medical disinformation. Here are mine and you can draw your own conclusions:

the most commonly cited study on difference on presentation based on gender for heart attacks is the framingham heart study. A more recent cohort is the GRACE (the global reg of acute coronary events). U may look at these stats and go hey some of these proportions in initial disease presentation do look different between the sexes and even is statistically significant. Which is true. But it must be noted that atypical symptoms are common in both men and women (1/4 roughly vs 1/3) which means when assessing for a heart attack, you should be checking for atypical symptoms in both men and women because it occurs often. I dont believe these ratios are clinically actionable, tho some ppl disagree. Now the fact women get advanced heart treatments, get put on standard medications less often than men etc, I think thats much more actionable.

There is also something to be said abt what statistics measure. Which in population studies is: are the prevalence or outcomes of the disease different between these two populations? Which if you theoretically rounded up every man and every women in the US that has had a heart attack (which the populations in these studies are a proxy for) the answer would be: yes. But also if you rounded up everyone in the state of Minnesota vs everyone in the state of Montana, you would also have differences between manifestation of disease in these two states. The question is how large and why—the why is a question stats have a harder time elucidating.

Another question is what is the utility of dividing the groups to compare each other when there are infinite ways you could split groups up. You probably would not argue that there are inherent biological differences between people who live in Minnesota and people who live in Montana, but if you found enough difference, perhaps you could make an argument that there may be a difference in health infrastructure or policy thats driving that gap. But then youd have to further investigate. There is no approach in statistics where you can avoid the responsibility of interpretation. Now how does that get into how sex and or gender is traditionally interpreted in health studies. Well stay tuned to if i still feel like talking abt this. Bc this is complicated.