#this is honestly more for myself to make it easier to keep track of what i posted lol

[boxofthings]

A lil masterlist of my COD stuff for organization purposes

My AO3

Fics:

With the Liver and Bowel Broken Into Pieces (GhostRoach hurt/comfort w/injured!Roach + development of their relationship) 8k words

In a Lover's Eye is the Foremost Beauty (GhostRoach holiday fluff + Ghost being emo but soft) 3k words

Ficlets/Requests:

Roach-centric fic recs

GhostRoach:

Matching Gear (fluff)

Injured Ghost + FNG!Roach

Retired domesticity (fluff)

Post-mission hurt/comfort (smut)

GhostSoapRoach:

Hornet's Nest w/injured Roach (angst)

Random rambles/hcs:

GhostRoach:

Reboot!Roach as a Shadow Company soldier

More Shadow!Roach GhostRoach AU

Love languages

Affection HCs

Mute!Roach

SoapRoach:

09 Timeline angst

[bloomzone]

📍. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝟏 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞

[Hi everyone, so today's blog may look a little interesting because we are in the last days of April so it's reset time . So i've been a little disconnected lately, it's exam season, and honestly it’s been a lot . Also, sorry for anyone who's been sending me questions in my inbox I might not answer everyone right away, but I promise I’ll be more active after finals and my regional exam , and actually for anyone out there who’s thinking about building a habit or tracking something next month... this is your sign ⏲️.]

ॱ🪽 ₊ . why a 7-day challenge works

"Change doesn’t happen because we suddenly decide to become someone else overnight" It happens when we choose to become slightly better versions of ourselves so for one week you will be asked to show up for yourself because all lasting change begins with a decision to start, no matter how small or imperfect that beginning may seem.

For me personally, the 7-day method has been the most effective way to rebuild habits, especially during the moments when life feels heavy when I’m stuck in a slump, caught in a rut, or feeling disconnected from myself. I have built and rebuilt many habits through this method, and I’m not here to pretend that I follow all my habits perfectly every day. That’s simply impossible. Life is unpredictable bro 💀 and being human means accepting that sometimes we will fall off track. But I’ve found that committing to a 1-week challenge creates just enough structure without feeling overwhelming. Whether it’s studying after a long period of burnout, taking care of my skin , exercising, or simply keeping my space clean, the same principle applies. I give myself one week of small, consistent effort. By the end of those seven days, something inside me shifts naturally. The habit begins to carry itself it becomes part of my daily rhythm again. This approach it’s about reconnecting with the parts of yourself that want to grow. !

so let's get into it !

ᵕ⁠⑅ 💌 .building a habit is like planting a tree

When you approach building a habit, imagine that you are planting a tree. In the beginning, the seed is fragile and invisible to the world. No one applauds you for watering it. No one even knows it’s there but you do ofc . Each action you take is a way of pressing that seed deeper into the soil, helping it find its first roots. A tree It grows because every day it reaches for the light, it anchors itself to the earth, and it trusts the slow work of time. Your habit is like a tree so it will not reveal its strength immediately. It will be built through consistency, patience, and hard work . The stronger the roots you lay in the beginning, the higher you will grow later.

🪄 ♡⁠˖ Preparing before u start

Before you start the challenge, it is important to create the right conditions for success. First choose your habit carefully. Do not pick something because it sounds impressive or because it feels like what you "should" do. Choose something you genuinely want to nurture something that will add peace, energy, or meaning to your life. Next, make the habit as specific and realistic as possible. If your habit is "read more," define it: "Read 10 pages before bed." If it’s "move more," define it too like : "Stretch for 20 minutes after waking up." Specificity turns intentions into actions. Finally, prepare your environment. Remove distractions if you can, and set yourself reminders that pull you gently back to your commitment. Success is easier when you remove as many barriers as possible before you begin.

👛 ꪆ୧ How to stay connected to your habit

As you practice the habit each day, it’s crucial to understand what you are really building. You are not just completing a task. You are shaping ur identity. Every time you follow through, even if it’s only for a few minutes, you are reinforcing the belief that you are someone who keeps their promises to themselves. At first, the actions will feel mechanical. You will not see immediate results, and it may feel pointless. This is natural NATURAL PLEASE READ IT AGAIN . Habits develop strength under the surface long before they show themselves outwardly as I said is like planting a tree . Trust the process. Know that the first few days are about teaching your mind to accept a new way of being, even if the change is invisible at first. When you focus not on achieving perfection but on maintaining connection to your action, you create a system that can survive setbacks, challenges, and the inevitable moments of doubt.

✧🕧 ~ A helpful hack to never forget ur habit

One tip that personally changed everything for me especially when my mind felt busy or overwhelmed is setting up reminders in a very intentional way. It’s simple .. If you are someone who naturally checks your phone first thing in the morning (which most of us do without even thinking about it), use it to your advantage. The night before, right before you go to sleep, open your Notes app, Notion, or even just the simplest app you have for writing and write down the habits you want to keep track of the next day. You could write something like, “Skincare routine,” “Study for one hour,” or “Stretch/workout for 30 minutes ) and add some affirmation if u want and write some words that will motivate u to get up and do it because 100% ur own words can fix u also then, leave that note open and lock your phone screen on it. The next morning, when you reach for your phone instinctively, the first thing you’ll see is your gentle reminder. It’s like that screen will be guiding you back to yourself before u will forgetting

And if you’re someone who doesn’t look at your phone first thing in the morning, you can use a simple journal instead. Keep a small notebook or journal right on your nightstand, your desk, or wherever your eyes naturally land when you wake up. Before sleeping, write your habits or intentions for the next day on the first page you will see when you open it. This way, whether you are a phone-checker or a journal-lover, you are creating a natural path for your brain to reconnect with your goals that would be like a reminder waiting for you every morning.

੭ 🗒️ ۪ ⊹ it’s okay to fall

Please don’t let people on the internet make you feel bad if you slip during this challenge or while building any habit. If you don’t feel okay one day, that’s normal please don’t be sad. NOBODY like nobody is watching you, nobody cares, just come back the next day and start counting your seven days again. This is so normal. I swear to God, it’s NORMAL . I don’t know why people make it seem like if you fall off for a day or two or even weeks , you’ve ruined everything. Like if you missed two days of exercise, or didn’t study, or didn’t do your skincare, suddenly you’re not worthy anymore, or you’re not going to be like the person you see online. That’s not true. Please don’t compare yourself to anyone you see on the internet. Even the people who post their perfect routines they mess up too. Some show it, but most of them don’t. You’re only seeing a small part of their story.

So please, never feel bad for slipping. If you fall off track, just come back the next day. It’s completely human. Bro, you’re human. Nobody’s judging you. If you feel ready the next day, go back to your habits. If you don’t feel ready, that’s okay too. Just don’t stay stuck in burnout forever. Don’t think, “I’ll rest until the burnout ends,” because usually, if you wait too long, the burnout only gets heavier (by experience) . If you feel like you’ve been stuck for days, it’s okay but please, get up gently. Go take a shower. Clean your space a little. Go outside for a walk. Then slowly come back to your habits, your intentions, your small actions the ones that make you feel like yourself again. Your body, your mind, your energy they will start to come back, even if it’s little by little ! trust yourself alwaays 🍀

@bloomzone

[slashersbabes]

Pour le pire

Summary : I never meant to become part of their world—but maybe I was always meant to be here. They claimed me, hunted me, bled for me. Their love is obsession, their devotion a cage, but I’ve never been one to break easily. They don’t just own me—I own them too. Their love is possessive, suffocating, but I don’t mind the way their hands bruise or the way their knives carve. If this is madness, then I’ll sink into it willingly. After all, love is just another form of power—and I refuse to be the one who breaks first.

Chapter 5 : Good girl

Proxies x fem!reader

TW : OOC, toxic behaviour

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6

A/N : Hey guys ! Just wanted to warn you, I'm going on vacation for two weeks in Japan, so the updates are going to be slowed for a bit ! Thanks for your understanding and enjoy <3

2.4 K words

I woke up feeling the warm rays of the sun that managed to skim through the barricaded window. The room wasn’t that cold considering we were in a forest, the heater wasn’t working but I managed to snatch some extra covers from Toby. I didn’t want to steal them from him but apparently he couldn’t really feel the cold, so he helped me bring them to my room. I am so thankful to him, I think I would have frozen to death by now, but it made me kind of worried for him, even if he can’t feel it his body still reacts to it. 

I got out of bed reluctantly, the coldness biting at my exposed hands and feet really made me wish I could stay in bed, but I had a goal in mind. When we finished eating yesterday I helped with the dishes and cleaned up the counter, and I realised that there was stale bread just sitting on the counter. Now I just couldn’t let this bread die on the counter, so I decided to make us some french toast for breakfast. It serves a double purpose, firstly it’s just good and easy to make, secondly as the saying goes, the way to the heart is through the stomach. It’s not really manipulation if you think about it, it’s more of a way to gain favours ! 

I stood in front of the stoves, toasts fizzling from the heat, and with a sweet and appetizing scent making its way through the house. It wasn’t hard to make when you were used to making them, and when you had the right ingredients, which thankfully were all there. It’s usually a sweet intention I reserve for my parents or friends. Just thinking about them made me suddenly sad, just thinking that I can’t even tell them that I’m alright, that I’m losing all the progress I made at trying to be normal, I wish I could just talk to them. My mom and dad, and Lilliane, god is Lilliane even alright ? I am slowly starting to get more and more anxious, I feel my breaths shorten, because of all the what ifs running through my head. I am too confident with all the plans I am making, but I need to remind myself that I can still die at any moment. I'm not some special girl, they probably chose me because I’m far away from home and didn’t have a lot of friends, so harder to track down. I can’t believe that I’m special, I’m just a good opportunity for them. God my brain is giving me a headache. 

I’m not what you would call your study case of mental illness. My old psychiatrist tried to subtly tell me that I probably had some form of personality disorder, she didn’t want to put it on a record in fear that it would hinder my chances at getting better. I do not want to be another one of those examples of mentally ill people being dangerous or just going crazy. Even though that is what I am, I’m a danger to myself and others, I used to do good, when I had my little routine of course as it was easier to manage. Now I had to adapt to something completely different and unsafe, with no one to rely on but myself, and I had to do all that while keeping up appearances. It was eating at me, I didn’t realise it yet as I had spent most of my time plotting and trying to keep up, but now I realise that I’m slowly regressing back to how I used to be. It honestly scares me, I wish I could at least talk to someone about it but I know it’s impossible, I can’t let them know how I really feel. 

I can feel the tears starting to form at the bottom of my eyes. I tried to distract myself by concentrating on what was in front of me, and I also didn’t want to burn what I spent my time on doing and ruining breakfast. My head perked up when I heard footsteps coming down the steps, I tried to compose myself but I realised I was unable to, the tears kept flowing and my eyes were probably swollen red. I watched as a figure slowly emerged from the door, I could see a head of dirty blonde hair clearly still groggy from waking up. He looked up at me while I tried to avoid his gaze, but I could feel his gaze observing me, trying to decipher my body language.

“What are you cooking ?” He clearly avoided bringing up the elephant in the room, which is of course me crying. I am thankful for that, the last thing I wanted to do was explaining myself to one of them.

I tried to control how my voice was coming out but I obviously couldn’t considering how Brian was looking at me. “It’s french toast, the bread was going stale I didn’t want to waste it.” My answer was curt, I could still feel his gaze on me like he was trying to dissect me.

“And you mind telling me why you’re crying over french toast ?” I could hear from his tone that he was trying to make the situation lighter by making a small joke. 

I let out a quiet snort, Brian had this calm energy around him that easily transpired into others. “I just- I felt kind of bad, I used to eat this back home and it made me nostalgic I guess.” My voice was still quiet, though at least I wasn’t crying anymore. I finished the last round of toasts before setting one down in front of him. I started walking towards the sink before he stopped me by dragging me down on the chair next to him. 

“Sit down, we’ll do the dishes later. How about we eat this in front of the TV yeah ? Would that make you feel better ?” I noticed how his voice obviously softened when talking to me, like he was trying to make me feel better.

I looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah okay, I’d like it, thanks.” We both got up with a plate in our hands before making our way to the couch. When the TV turned on, the channel was already switched on to the news, we silently watched them while eating breakfast. I also realized that I was mistaken, I thought it was morning but we’re already late in the afternoon. 

As news and news passed I had to admit that being with Brian felt really calming, it was like my problems were slowly disappearing, well I guess it was kind of ironic considering he was part of the problem. We were silently enjoying each other’s presence when suddenly a breaking news segment started. 

“Two other college students reported missing, right after the disappearance of Lilliane Ross aged 20 years old. A boy named Cameron Wallas, aged 22 years old has been reported missing since friday night, last seen living his apartment some time during the night and the girl (Y/N) (L/N), aged 19 years old has been reported missing since saturday morning, last seen living her workplace during friday night. The police are asking for your help and for any information concerning these people. Take a look at their photos and-”

The TV was suddenly shut off. A look of pure horror is etched on my face as my eyes are still stuck on the now black screen. I slowly turned my head towards Brian, who held his hand up to his mouth, with his eyes cast downwards, avoiding my gaze.

My voice slightly trembled as I spoke. “Did you do something to Lilliane ?” 

He looked almost guilty as he started looking directly at me, my eyes watering again.

He quickly put his hands on mine, his eyes almost pleading while looking into mine. “No we didn’t, I promise you (Y/N) we don’t have anything to do with that. She wasn’t in our plans, it’s an ugly coincidence I promise you. Do you trust me ?”

No I don’t. “Yes I do, I believe you.”

My eyes held contempt, I knew that they weren’t innocent. Did they kill her, I don’t know, but they have something to do with it I’m sure. Still I had to keep my composure, and right now I need to lie to him, I need to make him think I’m on their side. I could see relief on his face, but also a bit of doubt. He isn’t dumb, he knows it’s dangerous to put all his trust in me. But it seems that it worked as he backed off.

“Thank you… I’ll go wake up the others, you can stay here if you want.”

He quickly scurried upstairs, I could hear ruckus from everyone moving around. I decided to go back to the kitchen, take my mind off of what I learned. I put everything I used in the sink and started washing everything. My mind kept going places, is there a clue I missed ? Why would they hurt Lilliane, she would have been useless in their plans. There is something that I don’t get. At least now I am officially reported missing, that’s a relief ! 

After the noise upstairs faded, I realized that they were all coming down. I continued the task at hand to keep my mind off of everything I just learned. The chairs behind me squeaked on the floor, Toby’s voice rang through the room recounting the dream he had, something to do with the forest and the “operator”. Whatever that it is.

“What d-did you c-cook ? It smells f-fucking god.” He was almost screaming even though he was like a meter away from me. I don’t know how someone could have so much energy right after waking up. I mean considering it was the late afternoon I guess it was easier but still.

“Just some french toast, it’s good for breakfast.”

“D-Damn, we're s-spoiled today. You better s-start eating b-because I won’t leave a-anything.”

And with those words he started engulfing everything in sight, leaving barely anything for Tim who barely managed to steal one of the toast. 

Tim started to get aggravated at Toby’s behaviour, even as I washed dishes you could feel the tension in the room. “Dammit Toby, we have a mission later so let us eat. Stop being fucking selfish.”

Toby chuckled at what Tim said, almost mocking him, and I could still hear him munching on the food while Tim sighed heavily. I quietly finished and sat down with them. I thought for a bit about what Tim said. They’re going on a mission, which means they’re leaving the house. Well at least I guess they’re all leaving since he said “we”, and I already know what I’ll be doing when they’re gone. I’ll go check the hidden door.

I look at Tim almost expectantly. “You have a mission today ? How does that work ?”

He quickly looks over before answering. “Oh yeah, we’ll be leaving today when it gets dark. I don’t know how long it will take, it usually lasts an hour, depending on how it plays out. You know it’s not the kind of job where you have regular working hours.”

He snorted at the end, I didn’t find it funny but I guess if I want to make them like me I have to play dumb so I just let out a small laugh. “Okay, and what will I do during this ?”

“Well, everything is locked so you can’t go out, otherwise you’re free to do what you want.”

Perfect. They can’t be mad if I start snooping around then. Now I just need to wait for them to be gone. Considering how late it was starting to get, it was sooner than ever. And I couldn’t be more right when I saw them leave the table to get ready. I decided to just wait and watch the TV, after a while, they were all going down the stairs and… Okay murderers I get it but hatchets ? I thought they were like hitmen, not butcherers ? Well now I have even more questions than when I first came here. I also noticed their masks and outfits, it was quite creepy seeing them dressed up to go kill someone. And it was even creepier when one of them started walking up to me, I could only guess that it was Tim considering the brown locks adorning his head. 

“We trust you alright ? And we don’t want things to get… bad. So don’t do anything stupid, don’t go anywhere you know you shouldn’t go, and everything will be fine. Am I clear ?”

He spoke to me with the tone of a parent scolding a child, I started getting worried that they already guessed my plans but he’s probably just taking precautions. I looked deeply into his eyes, well more like the dark eyes from his mask, before answering. “I promise I won’t do anything stupid Tim.” I gave him my best doe eyes to convince him.

He put his hand on my cheek before whispering. “Good girl.” He stayed there for a few seconds, before turning around and going back to the others, the both of them looking at us. Toby left first, throwing a loud “See you l-later.” Tim followed him and then Brian slowly turned around, looking at me with the same mask I saw the night I killed Cameron.

I could feel his stare from beyond his mask. “(Y/N), please don’t do anything stupid alright ? We like you, we don’t want to do anything bad.” 

The tension between us was so thick that it felt suffocating. “I promise you Brian, I’ll be good.” I threw him a febrile smile, before he turned around without saying anything in return.

I turned back around to watch the time pass by, and when I felt ready I knew what I had to do. I got up from the couch and made my way towards the door. I was scared of what was behind it, but I can’t stay passive for any longer. I know something important is behind it, and I’ll find out what it is.

[macgyvermedical]

In regards to mental health and routines post, do you have any suggestions on how to start increasing those habits. This last year, I've been having similar issues and I know I need to work on doing my hygiene routine more, but am struggling to start. Do you have any advice? Please and thank you!

Maybe.

So I'll start by saying that I am not working for money due to mental health problems at this time. This makes it so my spoon allotment is skewed in my favor when it comes to personal care. If I were working, my personal care progress would be a lot slower going.

Also, my experience with personal care problems are a result of living with schizoaffective disorder. Some of the things I do might resonate, some might not. Your Mileage May Vary, and all that. That's why I'm saying "I do a thing" instead of "you should do a thing" with the language in this post.

Next, I honestly don't love the term "habit" because it implies that eventually after doing something for a long time it becomes easy. Might be a thing. Personally I've never experienced it. I have the same resistance to showering I had 4 years ago when I stopped doing it more than about once a week. But now I just have the spoons to trick myself into doing it every other day.

So on to some things I do that might help:

I fill up my day as much as possible. I try for lower spoons activities that have some kind of imposed structure. This gives the personal care a specific place in my day, and gives me a reason to do the personal care if the activity is around other people. Some ideas:

Clubhouse International. Many cities in the US and Europe (as well as some other places) have an in-person chapter of Clubhouse. Clubhouse is a free work-ordered day program, which means it provides a low-stress, workplace-like environment to go to every day.

Volunteering

Free online courses such as those offered by Harvard. These can be up to a semester long and are paced from 2-20 hours of work a week.

I think about things in terms of problem solving. I don't plan to take a shower every day. But I do plan to get up and ask myself if my hair is uncomfortably greasy (I can find an uncomfortable problem like this for just about every personal care action). If I decide yes (which happens every other day about), I then get to problem solve.

Problem solving here is an exciting alternative to just planning to shower every day whether I need to or not. I get to come up with a solution (which might be a shower, or it might be a baseball cap, or it might be a quick wash in the sink (I have short hair)).

Then, and here is the key part, no planning ahead. I have to do the solution right then before I can think about it too much. Or I have to wait until I forget it and then remember it again, which is not as reliable.

I figure out when I naturally want to do a thing. This has been particularly helpful in working out. Turns out, working out in the morning is not for me. I'd rather not get out of bed at all than get up and work out.

But after dinner? When I have all that nice energy from all the glucose available to my muscle cells? I feel a lot better about working out. Plus, I usually don't have as much to do at that time.

This just makes it easier to say "yes" to a workout. I still have to sneak up on myself by planting workout supplies (shorts, a yoga mat, and a gallon milk jug filled with water I use as a weight) and knowing what workout I'm going to do ahead of time (it's the same one every day until I get bored or it gets too easy).

I track my "streaks". I have a calendar with a key that has different symbols for each personal care task. I have brushed my teeth at least once per day for the last 58 days. I have averaged showering every other day in that time. The last three weeks? I've averaged 5 workouts a week.

The more I have put in, the less I want to screw things up. Sometimes I get out of bed after laying down at night to brush my teeth just to keep the streak going, but it's better than not brushing at all.

I compromise. I used to think if I wasn't doing a thing the best way possible, I shouldn't do it at all. But here's the secret: something is genuinely better than nothing. I often have to compromise with my brain "I'll only do half the workout" or "I'll wash my hair instead of showering". And you know what? At the end of the day I got more personal care done than if I didn't compromise.

The ability to do things also just naturally waxes and wanes. Sometimes compromising keeps things going through the tougher times. Keeping track of things like when I'm compromising a lot helps me help make decisions about my care.

I hope this was helpful!

[galaxymagitech]

hello! for the fic ask game, ↻ flip flop for True or False? around the end of the phone call where dick finds out about the batarang. i'd also like to hear the ∆ do over for it :]

Thank you so much for the ask!!!! Sorry for the delay, I went a little overboard. Which seems to be a pattern with this ever-expanding series.

Ask Game | True or False

∆ DO OVER: pick a fic and I’ll tell you if there’s anything I’d change or do differently if I wrote it today!

I wouldn't have Dick confirm that Jason tried to make Batman kill the Joker. I maintain that this is, from both Jason and Bruce's point of view, what the confrontation was about; Jason understands that letting Jason shoot the Joker is equivalent to killing him for Bruce, and this is why he would be satisfied with that result. But that simple confirmation lacks that nuance, and makes it seem like Dick's actually convincing Jason of something that isn't true.

I also would have set this fic in Rebirth. At the time I had no plan whatsoever to continue the fic, but Bruce's treatment of his kids in Post-Crisis isn't as horrific as he often acts in the New 52 and Rebirth. It's resulted in this story where the Batkids take Bruce down for being abusive, but I'm constantly second-guessing myself because I'm not even fully convinced that Bruce is abusive in Post-Crisis. I mean, obviously some people agree that he is, and I'm able to justify it in writing, but...that doubt makes this series a lot harder to write. Maybe that's what makes it so interesting to write, but it would be nice to have a couple more concrete examples (RHatO 25, the Talon tooth incident, Spyral, etc.) and not constantly be wondering if I'm being ridiculous.

There's also the canon compliance aspect. This fic is set in a nebulous "shortly after UtRH" time, but this actually contradicts One Year Later, which I didn't know about at the time. Now, honestly, I hate One Year Later, but it would have been easier to just set the fic in Rebirth for this reason as well.

↻ FLIP FLOP: send me a scene from one of my fics and I’ll describe or write it from another character’s POV!

I went completely overboard with this one, so it's now a full 2.9k word fic. I wanted to try to get in Dick's head to figure out what he'd be thinking and it spiraled.

The fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63923383

But the specific scene you asked for if you don't want to read the fic (warning for vomiting and Dick briefly losing track of where he is):

“False,” Dick rushes to say. Jason’s death had been deeply wrong. His resurrection had been the universe correction its mistake. “You’re supposed to be alive.” Dick’s almost at Jason’s location. He just has to keep Jason on the line and pray that the tracing result wasn’t a decoy. “You’re my brother, and—”

Dick’s gauntlet pings.

There’s the footage, playing out across its small screen, accompanied by a message.

B fucked up.

Frozen with horror, Dick watches a batarang deflect off a pipe in slow motion and slice through Jason’s neck. Watches Jason fall, wound gushing blood. Watches the Joker laugh as Jason bleeds out.

Something in Dick’s chest snaps. Bruce—

Bruce—

Jason—

Dick needs to say something. But he doesn’t even know what he can say. That’s a kill-shot. That’s a kill-shot. On Dick’s little brother.

Jason bleeds out on his screen. Dick’s stomach roils, and then he’s throwing up on the rooftop.

The taste of vomit curls into his brain and digs its talons in. As his diaphragm spasms, Dick realizes that he can’t get his lungs to expand. It was already a bad day. And now he can’t—he can’t breathe—he can’t—

Jason’s breaths are ragged in his ear. Dick slams his eyes closed, blocking out the view of the rooftop and his puddle of vomit and forcing himself to breathe. He can’t lose it right now. Jason needs him.

Gotham’s air fills Dick’s lungs. It smells different from Blüdhaven’s smog—more strange toxins but less pollution from years of Wayne initiatives. It feels different, too. Dick is in Gotham, and Jason is on the other end of the comm line.

Somehow, Dick finds his voice. It’s barely a whisper, but it’s there, and that’s enough. “True. I’m sorry, Jason. I’m—fuck, I’m sorry. It’s true.”

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

GiGS vol. 420 (October 2015)

Chapter 1 - RUKI [Vocal]

“DOGMA”, with its intense focus on low frequencies, eliminates external sounds entirely, utilizing only low-A and low-B tunings. As the band’s frontman and primary songwriter, RUKI has always steered the direction of the GazettE. Why, after 13 years since the band’s formation, did they choose to create an album with this kind of sound?

“When the album was finished, I felt it was almost like an exact reflection of myself.”

Interviewer: At the March performance at Nippon Budokan, it was announced that THE BEGINNING OF OMINOUS YEAR, centered around the album DOGMA, would begin. When did the powerful word "DOGMA" first come to mind?

RUKI: Last year, we had a tour titled Redefinition. Among those shows, we had PULSE WRIGGLING TO DIM SCENE, which focused on STACKED RUBBISH (released in 2007) and DIM (released in 2009), so it was around June. However, the word DOGMA itself, including the album cover design, had already existed as early as the beginning of last year. Back then, I hadn’t decided exactly how to use it yet. But as we continued performing live, I began reflecting on the state of our band, our relationship with our fans and the term DOGMA felt very fitting.

When I saw the artwork used for the album cover, it all came together. By that point, the title DOGMA had already been cemented in my mind. For our first song selection meeting, we hadn’t decided on what kind of album it would be yet; we just brought in songs. At that time, I brought in “OMINOUS.” It was during this process that I shared my idea of “DOGMA” with the other members as a direction to aim for in the next selection meeting. From there, everyone started creating songs with “DOGMA” in mind.

There was an early version of BLEMISH, but it had a strong EDM influence, so we set it aside. However, at the final song selection meeting, when we realized we needed one more track, someone suggested bringing that song back and reworking it into a more DOGMA-esque style. By the second song selection meeting, about half of the album was completed.

Interviewer: It’s surprising that you had the artwork’s image in mind so early on. I assume you also thought deeply about the meaning behind “DOGMA.”

RUKI: Yes. First, from the perspective of our public image during live performances, there’s this religious-like aura. At the same time, we’re aware of our somewhat isolated position within the current visual kei scene—we don’t really mix with others. Though, honestly, we don’t want to mix either. Of course, we respect our predecessors in the genre, but we also have a desire to surpass them.

When we considered what kind of band we should be, we realized that there aren’t many bands like us that have maintained this style for 13 years. It’s something natural for us, but if I take a step back and look at it from a bird's-eye view, it feels like our essence keeps becoming denser. In the album, we described this as "unmixable black." For us, delving deeper into that blackness felt like the right path. Our goal was to hand over something absolute to our audience.

The idea of myself as a symbol of divinity, symbol of blackness, resonated deeply with the androgynous figure on the black album jacket. It evokes the image of a cult—one that society might see as misguided, but which worships its own absolutes. That message, that structure, felt perfectly aligned with who we are. From there, the absolute term ‘dogma’ naturally emerged.

Interviewer: In other words, while the word “DOGMA” became the title, it wasn’t about doing something completely different. Instead, it served as a term that encapsulated your journey so far. With that as the theme, did it make the songwriting process easier, or did it feel restrictive? It seems like this could differ for each of you.

RUKI: The word DOGMA itself is pretty abstract, right? So everyone approached it by interpreting what DOGMA meant to them. Songs were rejected for reasons like, “This doesn’t feel like DOGMA,” which is both understandable and a bit vague (laughs). But when everyone agreed on something, that became the “right” answer.

Interviewer: You mentioned earlier that EDM elements were intentionally removed. Why was that? In other words, was it an effort to focus on a more traditional band sound?

RUKI: Yes. From TOXIC (released in 2011) to BEAUTIFUL DEFORMITY (released in 2013), our albums were quite experimental. At the time, there weren’t many bands doing that kind of music. But we questioned whether we wanted to continue pursuing that direction, and the answer was no. While we didn’t have a clear concept for what to do next, through the “Redefinition” tour, we started to see traces of ourselves—what made us who we are.

Then we asked ourselves, “What is the current live experience missing?” And the answer was something much heavier and darker. Whenever we make an album, we usually balance different aspects within ourselves. But this time, we first decided to eliminate the idea of including “at least one clean, melodic song.” We also threw out the approach of trying to balance things like “how many heavy songs, how many medium-paced ones” and so on. Instead of worrying about maintaining a variety, we decided to focus on leaning into extremes.

That’s why the album structure ended up with a sound that felt like a band’s raw essence but also unconventional at the same time. To get into more specifics, we really pushed down-tuning, completely banned major chords (laughs), and insisted on phrases that felt eerie and unsettling. I think these ideas were something that existed within each of the members’ hearts somewhere.

Interviewer: Still, the various experiments you’ve conducted weren’t mistakes. They were ways of shaping darkness and heaviness through different methods of expression at the time, weren’t they?

RUKI: Yeah, there was definitely a calculated aspect to it. But this time, it felt much closer to instinct. That’s what makes the process different from before, and in a way, it also feels like we’ve returned to our original style.

Interviewer: For this album, you’ve used Low A and Low B tunings exclusively. When composing, do those heavy bass tones naturally sound in your head as the foundation?

RUKI: For me, it doesn’t start with a melody but with a riff. So, the tuning of the guitar I use for recording demos often influences the process (laughs). Usually, I’ll begin with the intro, then add the verse, and by that point, I’ve already layered vocals. Then I create the bridge and so on, building one section at a time. That’s why, with a song like DOGMA, the chorus might not even appear until the very end. The tempo keeps changing, and the structure evolves. In that sense, it’s a very spontaneous process.

Interviewer: Despite all these evolving developments, the album is surprisingly cohesive. The flow is seamless. If one considers “darkness” and “heaviness” as themes that suggest evil and chaos, it might have been simpler, in terms of technique, to go for a more convoluted, chaotic arrangement.

RUKI: I wasn’t consciously aware of that, but I think you’re right. There’s not much that feels incomprehensible. Even with bands I admire, I notice that. I’m not a guitarist by trade, but I love riffs that make you want to copy them on a whim, like those from Limp Bizkit or Metallica. I’m from the nu-metal generation, so I also like single-note riffs from bands like YamaArashi. Even with Slayer or Pantera, there’s something great about straightforward classic darkness (laughs).

Interviewer: Speaking of riffs, each track features so many distinct ones that any single riff could serve as the basis for an entirely new song, yet you use them so lavishly.

RUKI: That’s why the dark drawer in my mind keeps getting emptied out bit by bit (laughs). Since I’m not a guitarist, I don’t think in terms of how the riffs fit into chord progressions. Instead, I just play based on how unsettling they sound to me.

Interviewer: The title track, DOGMA, truly captures what the GazettE stands for. However, the lyrics aren’t bound by the term “DOGMA” as a unifying theme. Each song feels distinct, yet they’re all brought together by the world of the GazettE and RUKI.

RUKI: When it comes to this band, there’s no hesitation about the direction we need to take. That resolve is particularly strong in “DOGMA.” But to put it bluntly, it’s not about how things have suddenly come together here. When the album was finished, I felt it was almost like an exact reflection of myself. It’s surprisingly not a fantastical world. Though I use metaphors in my writing, when addressing topics like the struggles of society, I feel that expressing them in clichéd ways would come across as too superficial.

Interviewer: For example, you’ve mentioned that BIZARRE reflects recent social issues.

RUKI: Yeah. While I was writing it, there was a youth crime incident happening. But it’s not so much about the event itself as what comes afterward. I write about it from what feels like an ordinary perspective, but to society, it might be a taboo. It’s like that saying “once it’s out of sight, out of mind”—for about a week after an event, the media covers it, but the important part is what happens afterward, isn’t it? These kinds of things make me think a lot.

Interviewer: On a related note, this time all the track titles are single words. It seems like each word was chosen to be highly symbolic.

RUKI: That’s right. You know the concept of the “seven deadly sins”? They’re just listed as single words, aren’t they? The songs on this album similarly represent just one emotion each, so I felt that single-word titles suited them best.

Interviewer: The influence of the “seven deadly sins” concept is apparent, especially in lyrics like those in “RAGE.” However, while the band delivers its absolute doctrine, it feels like you leave a lot of space for listeners to interpret things in their own way.

RUKI: That’s right. The word “DOGMA” itself is inherently imposing. So it’s about how you interpret things like God, or how you perceive death—those are the themes being explored. Cult religions, for example, often take some form of “DOGMA” and have their followers spread it through their own interpretations, don’t they? Like I mentioned earlier, when I fell in love with certain bands, I absorbed their messages in my own way and took them as absolute (laughs).

But, for example, when songs like LUNA SEA’s “ROSIER” or “TRUE BLUE” were released, for us, they conjured a strong image of the city at night. It’s strange because those words weren’t explicitly referencing that, yet they became a shared language of sorts. I think that’s the essence of the visual kei world—the ability to evoke such collective imagery. Similarly, with DOGMA, listeners might connect it to certain moments in their lives.

Interviewer: It’s fascinating that OMINOUS, the final track on the album, was one of the first songs created.

RUKI: When deciding on the track order, it naturally felt like “this song doesn’t belong in the middle.” The word OMINOUS represents our current state as a band. The song has real, raw lyrics and coincides with our 13th anniversary. It feels like naming it that brought about various events (laughs). Over time, the track has grown stronger. Initially, we didn’t create it with those emotions, but it ended up carrying them.

Interviewer: As you head into the tour, what do you think creating “DOGMA” has revealed about the band?

RUKI: It’s made me think about how music is meant to be used—not as an experiment but as a medium for genuine expression. When it was finished, my feelings weren’t ones of satisfaction or anything like that. Listening to it feels heavy—it’s like a diary zooming in on my thoughts during tough times.

Normally, we’re expected to inspire dreams, but some of what’s conveyed here might not align with that role. But in a way, I feel like the essence of music—how it truly should exist and how it should be conveyed—naturally took form through this process.

Chapter 2 - Uruha [Guitar] & Aoi [Guitar]

The raw and unfiltered band sound, crafted by the clash of all five members’ music, forms the foundation of “DOGMA.” To enrich and deepen the essence of this work, Uruha and Aoi wrote four tracks: “DERACINE,” “WASTELAND,” “GRUDGE,” and “PARALYSIS.” As guitarists, how did the two of them approach this album?

Interviewer: What kind of approach did you take toward the sound of DOGMA?

Uruha: We focused on achieving a tight sound where each phrase could be heard clearly, while also exploring how to incorporate a subtle sense of airiness, more so than ever before. That was something the two of us worked on extensively before heading into recording.

Aoi: While discussing things like that, we would be recording the rhythm parts, and at the same time, we’d crank up the amps and pour the sound into the mix, refining it bit by bit.

Uruha: So it wasn’t just a simple meeting. It felt more like we were experimenting by actually playing and layering the sounds of our two guitars, judging whether it worked or not. Aoi even swapped out vacuum tubes… You can’t really understand the impact just by imagining it. So we’d listen to the changes and judge how well it meshed with my sound.

Aoi: That being said, I replaced three tubes, but in the end, we didn’t use a single one (laughs). When I actually heard the sound, it didn’t quite match the image I had in mind for the tonal balance.

Uruha: Everything ended up sounding very clean and organized.

Aoi: Yeah. Since we’re a band with a fairly strong “bite,” I thought having a bit of grit in the sound would be better for expressing our unique color. But I was always thinking about where to find the right balance for the final result.

Interviewer: So, does that mean you first focused on creating the foundation of the two guitars' sounds?

Uruha: That’s right. When working on an album, we usually start with something like the title track—a song that has a relatively well-balanced sound and can adapt to anything. This time, that song was "DOGMA," so we built the foundation around that. Up until now, the pre-production stage mostly involved plugins, but this time, we actually used the recording equipment during pre-production to get the sound. That was a first for us.

Aoi: Previously, we’d only think about what kind of sound we wanted on the spot during the session. But that approach could mean spending an entire day just crafting a single sound.

Interviewer: But, the purpose of this new approach wasn’t simply to save time, right?

Uruha: It’s about the mental side of things. At the beginning, there were some discrepancies in everyone’s opinions. If we had to fix those differences later, it would mean re-recording and putting in an enormous amount of effort. Having the right technical setup from the start was a big factor as well.

Aoi: DEUX might have been part of it too, don’t you think? We had recorded that song earlier and thought it was finished. But I just couldn’t stand the sound of it, so we decided to rethink things. Knowing that we might have to re-record it probably pushed us to prepare even more thoroughly.

Uruha: That’s true. The equipment itself hasn’t changed much since then, but just the way you record something can lead to results you can’t take back.

Interviewer: DEUX was performed as an encore during your Nippon Budokan show in March, right? As you mentioned, the way the two guitars blend on this album is particularly striking.

Uruha: That’s something we discussed in detail (laughs).

Aoi: Ruki also joined in on those discussions.

Uruha: It’s about finding the ideal balance between a player’s desire to add their essence and a creator’s absolute vision. It’s not about compromise.

Aoi: It’s been a long time since I’ve had such passionate discussions about sound. It can be frustrating in the moment (laughs), but even after all these years, being able to have such serious conversations is something I really appreciate.

Uruha: It’s important to respect all perspectives and try things out. There are insights you can only gain after trying things. This recording process really emphasized that.

Interviewer: And despite all this effort, the sound seems unified, as if the equipment remained consistent throughout.

Uruha: That’s right.

Aoi: If we were to change something, it feels like it would fundamentally alter what the GazettE’s "DOGMA" is supposed to represent. Recording with a sound that everyone agreed upon also meant that the tonal consistency across the album wouldn’t fluctuate too much.

Uruha: Since the album had such a strong and clear theme throughout, keeping the sound consistent was the best choice.

Interviewer: Did the use of low A and low B tunings contribute to this evolution?

Uruha: We’ve used low A tuning before, so we were aware of its challenges. But this time, I think we managed to elevate the quality to the point where you can’t distinguish much between low A or low B in terms of tonal quality. It came together in a surprisingly solid way.

Aoi: Our "right" answer tends to be a sound that’s bright and taut, yet gives a subtle impression of being lower in range. The typical characteristics of low A or low B tunings don’t really fit the GazettE’s sound, so we didn’t aim to emphasize them either.

Interviewer: It’s remarkable how the songs employ such heavy downtuning yet still deliver low-end sounds with such a light, effortless quality.

Uruha: Yeah. When artists use low-A tunings, they often go for slower-tempo songs. But in the GazettE’s case, the songs are fast, so we needed a tightness that could keep up with that speed. That was something we set as a theme from the start, and I think it contributes to why the sound feels so light and agile.

Interviewer: Now that it’s finished, how do you see the DOGMA album as a whole?

Aoi: Honestly, my first reaction was, “Ah, I can listen to it.” During the demo phase, I didn’t think I’d be able to listen to it all the way through.

Uruha: It was too intense (laughs).

Aoi: Yeah. In the demo stage, the vocals weren’t fully recorded, and I wondered if we had gone too far.

Uruha: Even when fast-paced tracks follow one after another, there are moments that don’t just feel listenable—they actually feel good. That was an unexpected discovery for me. This album proved that it’s not necessarily essential to switch between heavy tracks and more melodic ones to create variety.

Aoi: In the past, we usually aimed for balance by including a variety of songs.

Interviewer: This album seems to emphasize the band’s sound more than ever. How do you feel about that?

Aoi: We’ve talked about wanting to express a “band feel” on previous albums, but I always felt like our sound hadn’t fully caught up to that idea. With this album, though, I feel like the band has finally caught up to that concept. Instead of focusing on highlighting individual parts, we really clarified what it means to exist as a band and what kind of sound we wanted to create as a whole. It’s still a bit abstract, but if someone asked, “What is the GazettE’s sound?” I think this album represents it in the clearest, most GazettE-like way. I also feel like we’ve established something unique that other bands wouldn’t be able to replicate.

Uruha: That said, this isn’t something that can be easily achieved. It's weird for me to say it, but I think we were only able to do this because we’ve grown so much as a band. Each of us had a period in the past where we were focused on doing what we wanted individually. Without struggling through that phase, we wouldn’t have arrived here. It takes time. In a sense, this album is the result of seeking answers as a band.

Aoi: Bands where the individual members’ preferences dominate can’t really pull something like this off, I think. But I think the five of us really enjoy being in the GazettE together. Even as we grow older and maybe more set in our ways, everyone is surprisingly flexible. That’s something I find really interesting.

Interviewer: Speaking of your playing, mastering such a wide variety of riffs must have required a considerable amount of technical skill, right?

Uruha: I think we naturally reflect what we’ve built up over time, even if we’re not always conscious of it. For tracks like “RAGE,” “DAWN,” and especially “PARALYSIS,” I always had this image of trying to emphasize sharpness and clarity in the faster sections. For example, instead of relying on alternate picking, I’d push to use down-picking where possible. But in any case, the riffs are genuinely fun to play. What I regret, though, is... that it’s not in standard tuning (laughs).

Aoi: Makes it harder for people to copy (laughs).

Uruha: Exactly (laughs). Take the intro of “BLEMISH”, for instance—playing it gets me hyped, like, “This is so cool!” It’s that moment when the sound is crisp and precise, and you can really show off (laughs).

Aoi: My favorite is “DERACINE.” I think it has a little bit of everything. There are moments where we play together, times where we each expand the sound in our own way, and opportunities to use effects. Plus, the vertical alignment of the parts is crucial. If you’re sloppy, you can’t pull it off. It’s a challenge for your ears, too, so I think it’s good practice.

Chapter 3 - REITA [Bass] & Kai [Drums]

The album “DOGMA” features an unprecedented low-end heaviness that spans its entirety. For REITA and Kai, who are responsible for anchoring the band’s sound, this required heightened awareness and innovation in both playing and sound production. In this chapter, we explore what the two of them focused on during the album’s creation.

Interviewer: What kind of thoughts went into the production process for DOGMA?

Kai: Once we had the tracks ready, we talked about how to approach them. One key idea was to bring more focus to the low-end frequencies than usual. To achieve that, the kick drum needed to sit lower in the mix, because otherwise, the bass wouldn’t come through clearly. With that in mind, I started by considering the drum setup. Initially, I aimed for toms that would give a more direct, metallic resonance, like what you often hear in metal. RUKI was quite particular, saying, “Can’t you go lower?” (laughs). So, we began with finding a kit that could deliver a low sound while still allowing the shells to resonate properly.

We ultimately settled on an oak-shell kit. When I hit it for the first time, I thought, “Whoa, what is this incredible rebound!?” That was the starting point. The nature of the tracks this time also called for cymbals with more sustain, so it felt like I couldn’t stick to the same approach as before. The drums had to evolve beyond the familiar.

Interviewer: It seems that by the time you started production, you already had a clear vision for the sound the band wanted to create.

Kai: Yes, I feel like we had a clear direction.

Reita: When the tuning is as low as A or B, I knew my job was to provide a solid foundation for the sound. That became my focus. Whenever we finish recording, I always think, “This sounds great,” but I also notice areas to improve. That’s a good thing, of course, but at the same time, I found myself wondering if we couldn’t record more simply. How do we capture the sound with as little interference and loss as possible? That’s what we really honed in on this time.

Interviewer: How did you feel about the finished tracks?

Reita: I thought, “Wow, there are a lot of intense tracks!” But since the tempos are fast and the tuning is low, I realized midway through the pre-production process that intricate phrases wouldn’t be very effective. So, I shifted my approach to make the playing itself simpler. Stripping things down felt more meaningful. After that, I just focused on details like where I placed my picking hand.

Interviewer: Despite the variety in these songs' structures, they don’t sound overly complex. Instead, they feel like they’ve been tied together with a great sense of cohesion.

Reita: That’s true. During pre-production, when we took the demo data home to work on our parts, we’d say, “The structures are pretty complex,” but once we actually added the parts, it all came together surprisingly smoothly (laughs). It felt natural, which was a bit of a mystery even to us.

Kai: I think it’s because we packed in only the essentials. As a result, some of the arrangements became more elaborate, but it’s not like we jumped randomly from point A to point C. The songs follow a clear progression, which made the structures feel logical.

Interviewer: Did the recording process itself go smoothly? Are there any techniques for basic sound production that our readers might be able to replicate?

Reita: For the bass, the first step is to cut the mid-range completely to create a scooped sound. That can feel a bit lacking, so you boost the drive, and it starts to sound right (laughs).

Kai: Drums are acoustic instruments, so the sound changes depending on who’s playing, which makes it a bit tricky. This time, I used a bell brass snare drum. Normally, I play with all the hits catching on the rim, but this time I worked on creating a tone that sounded like it was caught on the rim even when it wasn’t. Instead, I focused on producing a sound that emphasized the core of the drum hit. Since anyone can try playing without using the rim, I’d recommend experimenting with that kind of sound design.

Interviewer: Are there any practice routines you’d recommend that might help with skill improvement?

Kai: For drums, I’d recommend the ghost notes in "DAWN." The notes played in the background go like "nta nta-t." While they’re ghost notes, if you treat them as true "ghosts," the song won’t work. The key is to make those ghost notes resonate clearly. For most drummers, these notes might not even be audible, but to make them distinct, you need to hit those background beats with more force—almost as if emphasizing the notes that aren’t on the primary 2 & 4 beats. Doing this makes the sound feel steady and even. For the GazettE’s songs, this isn’t anything extraordinary, but it’s perfect for practice.

It comes down to intentional focus. While your usual power goes to the 2 & 4 beats, you should apply around 60-80% strength to the offbeats. This has become my personal style now. Drumming often shines through fills, but as the note groupings get denser, volume inconsistencies start creeping in. So, I save my true 100% effort for fast fills, which, when listened back to, helps everything sound natural and balanced, with all the details standing out clearly. This track, in particular, is packed with opportunities to practice that approach. Initially, try playing it at a slower tempo. Once your body adapts, it will naturally work for faster songs too.

Interviewer: Your tom usage is also fascinating.

Kai: In most of the songs, I don’t even use the 12-inch tom. It’s more like a setup of one tom and two floor toms—14-inch, 16-inch, and 18-inch. If I included the smaller tom, the overall sound would get too light and lose its resonance. To avoid that, I tuned the 14-inch tom as low as it could go while still responding clearly. For the 16-inch, I tuned it so it firmly produced a deep "do" sound. This approach created a really good flow.

Because we started this album with the concept of going lower and lower overall, this setup naturally led to the final sound. Part of this was because Reita kept saying he wanted to go even lower…

Reita: No, I didn’t say that! (laughs) But from the bassist’s perspective, Kai switching to a 22-inch kick drum was a huge change. With the previous 26-inch, there was too much range that needed to be tightened, which made it harder to create a good match with the bass.

For basslines, the only part that really moves around is in the chorus of "DAWN." That section is great for practicing left-hand techniques. You could make it easier by playing it on the first and second strings, but you’d lose the low-end presence, so I play it on the third string in the higher positions. This makes the finger movements insanely busy.

Interviewer: There’s also a satisfying sense of how the bass holds its ground between the guitars and drums.

Reita: Yes, DOGMA exemplifies that. I maxed out both tone and attack, especially in the interlude, where I played everything with downstrokes. It’s harder than it sounds because you can’t afford to let the timing slip even a little. There are a lot of moments on this album where I took on the role of bridging the drums and guitars.

Interviewer: The bass sound doesn’t feel buried at all.

Reita: Usually, I’d run my sound through a cabinet and mic it, but that often feels like the sound is coming from a slight distance. I was also using a woofer, but for this album, the woofer’s responsiveness was causing issues. So, I switched to a speaker simulator. That resulted in a line-out setup, which improved the attack and brought the sound forward more prominently. I think that worked really well to make the bass stand out.

Interviewer: One of the defining features of this album is the absence of decorative synth parts, which were used in some of your recent works. This seems to have pushed your focus on the band sound into even finer detail.

Reita: I think the most satisfying thing is to feel content with the sound the five of us create. It feels like we’ve finally returned to that. The more layers you add, the more the individual sounds clash. It’s impossible to get everything to sit perfectly in the mix. This time, I realized again that if we want a good, clean sound, we have to reduce the number of elements. Going forward, we might strip things back even further. I feel like this album challenges listeners to decide whether they truly like the GazettE or not.

Kai: This album is a true representation of the GazettE’s essence. It ties back to why I started playing in a band in the first place—the joy of creating a real band sound. Looking around, I think there’s a tendency these days to chase the new and experimental. But we really dug deep into “What is the GazettE?” with this work. I think "DOGMA" turned out to be an ideal album in that respect.

Chapter 5 - Inside of The Band Magic

The raw and real sound of DOGMA was created through the clashing and blending of the unique personalities of The GazettE's five members. What kind of relationships made this miraculous ensemble possible? In this chapter, we have each member talk about one of the others while also reflecting on their early days. Through this, we aim to unravel their relationships and their starting points.

RUKI on Uruha

“Our relationship goes back a long way, but if I had to sum him up in one word, he’s stubborn (laughs). When it comes to in-depth discussions about music, Uruha is usually the one I talk to. I think our musical inclinations and goals are similar, but he’s probably the complete opposite of me in many ways.

Especially with his phrasing—Uruha’s ideas are often experimental, while I tend to be more rough and ready. So, from the moment we met, his songs were always very distinctive. A lot of them were also… difficult (laughs). For example, suddenly throwing in a really challenging B melody, or having the guitar surge forward so much that the vocals barely have room to fit in. And then he expects me to make it work somehow (laughs). That’s something that hasn’t changed since back then.

Even when I’m singing in a low register, he’ll have me shift to both lower and higher tones. In moments like that, I really feel, ‘This guy is such a guitarist...’”

To my beginner self (Ruki):

“I used to be pretty laid-back, so I’d tell my younger self, ‘Start taking things seriously sooner’ (laughs). Back then, I was more focused on increasing our audience or boosting sales, so I often made music with that in mind. Now, what matters most is how far we can go with what we want to do.

As a result, I feel like I’m more dedicated to music now than ever before. At the same time, I’m glad I’ve always stayed interested in creating something. I’m the kind of person who likes to get deep into the details of a song. Even though I never formally practiced guitar, I often tried to figure things out by watching others or experimenting on my own. Those experiences taught me a lot, and I’m glad I kept exploring all the different elements of sound.”

Uruha on Aoi

“He’s… very emotional (laughs). I think he’s someone who plays guitar with his feelings. I honestly envy his ability to express so much emotion, especially during live performances. Watching him, I feel he’s better at expressing himself than I am, and that’s something I admire.

But that wasn’t my impression when we first met. Back then, he seemed more like someone who was still figuring out what he wanted to do. Unlike me, who had this strong, ‘This is it!’ moment from my LUNA SEA roots and obsession with Sugizo, Aoi didn’t seem to have one defining influence.

Because of that, he’s not bound by any particular rules or conventions, which might make him more ‘rock’ in a way. Among the band members, he has the strongest rock spirit. Overall, he’s an incredibly emotional and passionate player.”

To my beginner self (Uruha):

“If I could meet my younger self, I’d say, ‘Practice your arpeggios more!’ (laughs). Early on, I loved cutting-style guitar playing and practiced that nonstop. But looking at my parts in The GazettE now, there are so many arpeggios (laughs). That’s always been a challenging area for me, and I wish I’d worked on it more back then.

On the other hand, I’ve always had a strong curiosity about gear, and I’m glad that hasn’t changed. My love and passion for equipment have only grown stronger over time. I’ve also started simplifying things—I’ve even switched to a Mesa Boogie amp (laughs).”

Aoi on Reita

"REITA gives a sense of reassurance; he’s someone you can rely on. In that sense, he’s similar to Kai. As a person and as a player, he gives the impression of someone with a strong core. He’s consistent in what he says, and I always feel secure knowing my performance is supported by him. Of course, I trust all the members, but REITA is the one who gives me the most peace of mind... Well, I haven’t really thought about it much (laughs).

At the same time, while he’s steadfast, he’s also very skilled. If I request a specific phrase, he always brings it to life. Sometimes I just give a vague idea, and he still manages to shape it into something tangible. That skill has been a constant since the early days.”

To my beginner self (Aoi):

“Oh man, I’d definitely tell myself, 'You should take music more seriously’ (laughs). I’ve always felt like I was a step behind the other members. I’d watch them, figure out where I was lacking, and work on improving those areas. If I could meet my younger self, I’d tell him to be more serious from the start.

Looking back, meeting the other members was such a pivotal moment. If it weren’t for them, I don’t think I’d even be doing music. I originally started music as a hobby and thought I might turn it into a career someday, but I didn’t understand it as deeply as I do now. The inspiration and stimulation I’ve gotten from them have shown me the joy of being in a band and the depth of music.”

REITA on Kai

"When I first met Kai, I thought, 'He seems like an interesting guy.’ He was barefoot (laughs) and held his drumsticks the opposite way, saying, 'This feels heavier, so it’s better!’ I’ve always liked quirky people, so I thought we might get along. But as time went by, he became increasingly serious.

Drums are the foundation of everything, aren’t they? Whether you can fully trust someone to handle that responsibility is crucial, and I now place absolute trust in him. Kai’s also the most meticulous and detail-oriented among us. When he decided to take on the role of leader, he really took responsibility and started guiding everyone. Since I’m not the type to lead, I’m super grateful for that."

To my beginner self (REITA):

"I’d tell myself, 'Start with fingerpicking.’ Coming from a pick-playing background, switching to fingerpicking felt like learning a completely different instrument. If I’d been doing both from the start, I think my range as a player would’ve been broader.

That said, at the core, I feel glad I stuck with playing bass. I’ve never been someone who sticks to things for long, and bass is the only thing I’ve kept doing. It feels like picking up the bass shaped my personality and even my identity. It’s more than just an instrument; it’s part of who I am. And honestly, I only want to play bass as part of The GazettE. Outside of that, I don’t feel any desire to play."

Kai on RUKI

"RUKI doesn’t compromise on anything. There’s no ‘This is good enough’ for him; He always has a clear vision of what he wants, and when he records vocals, he knows exactly what he’s aiming for. He keeps challenging himself to reach that level, which is really impressive.

There are times when I think, ‘What was wrong with that take?’ but RUKI always has a reason—he’s striving for something even better. His ability to envision his art is truly remarkable. When we first met, I just thought he had a wide vocal range and a great voice. But as we worked together, I saw him grow rapidly as an artist, constantly raising the bar for himself."

To my beginner self (Kai):

"There’s so much I’d want to tell my younger self (laughs). First and foremost, I’d say, ‘Be more disciplined!’ Honestly, I didn’t think about much back then. I’d tell myself to focus more on what matters and to clarify my goals.

That said, one thing I’ve always enjoyed—then and now—is interacting with people. Meeting others and learning from them has been a constant in my life. That’s how I’ve grown—absorbing what I can from those around me. That hasn’t changed. Even now, on tours, I enjoy chatting with staff and getting to know them. While it’s not directly related to playing an instrument, building relationships and learning from others has been a consistent part of who I am."

Chapter 6 - The Resurgence and Frenzy Beginning Again with DOGMA

So far, we’ve thoroughly analyzed the chemical reactions and sounds condensed into the latest album, “DOGMA,” from various perspectives. But what will the tour accompanying this work look like? In this in-depth feature, we explore their thoughts on live performances in a long interview, aiming to uncover their sentiments toward the upcoming nationwide tour, the full scope of which is still unknown.

"At some point, we started focusing on expressing a cohesive world view." - Ruki

"It’s not so much about whether it’s perfect, but whether it meets the standard." - Uruha

"We’ve been active for a long time, so the amount of things we need to check has grown to an immense level over time. As a result, it’s become more intricate." - Aoi

"The feeling that we had to succeed on our own really hit when we started performing at larger venues." - Reita

"As the essence of what the GazettE is, we aim to present something truly convincing and powerful." - Kai

Interviewer: Everyone’s first time performing in front of an audience was likely during your middle or high school days. What kind of memories do you have of that experience?

RUKI: It was during a graduation camp in my third year of middle school. That was the first time I played drums. Yes, drums! (laughs) Quite a surprise, right? (laughs). I played HURT by LUNA SEA, LOVE LOVE SHOW by THE YELLOW MONKEY, and Bodies by the SEX PISTOLS. It was such a bizarre setlist (laughs).

Aoi: That era had a lot of wild setlists like that (laughs). For me, I was invited by an upperclassman to perform in the school gym. I think I was in my third year of middle school too. We weren’t exactly of the generation, but we played two ZIGGY songs.

Kai: I think my first time was at a piano recital my parents organized every two years. My mother played piano while I accompanied on drums. Normally, my teacher would play the drums, but they suggested, “Why not do it as a parent-child duo?”

RUKI: That’s giving major prodigy vibes (laughs).

Kai: No, no, nothing like that (laughs). It was just a very simple 8-beat pattern, but I was totally stiff from nerves (laughs). I think I was in my second year of middle school.

REITA: My first performance was with a band I was in with Uruha. We rented out a live house and did a two-band show. We played about eight songs, mostly LUNA SEA covers. I thought I was moving my head a lot during the performance, but when I watched the video later, I was barely moving (laughs). Despite that, my neck hurt like crazy the next day, and I came down with a 39°C fever (laughs). It was October 28th of my second year of high school.

Uruha: You remember the exact date? (laughs).

REITA: It’s also the band leader’s birthday (laughs).

Interviewer: It sounds like that day was memorable in many ways (laughs). Was that also Uruha’s first stage?

Uruha: No, my first was during my middle school culture festival. A teacher played the drums, and we performed LUNA SEA’s “ROSIER” and Mr.Children’s “innocent world” in the gym.

REITA: When he was preparing to play guitar for the cultural festival, I lent him my amp. And then he ended up holding onto it for ages… At that time, I had just started playing too, and you know, electric guitar without an amp isn't very fun. So because of him, I quit playing guitar (laughs).

Aoi: But if Uruha hadn’t stolen that amp back then, there would be no GazettE (laughs).

Interviewer: It’s remarkable how all of you came together in the GazettE (laughs). When did you establish your current approach to live performances?

Uruha: I think it was after Kai joined that we solidified what made the GazettE's shows fun.

REITA: Yeah, once we began doing proper tours, we started reflecting on the previous shows and learning from them. Things like, “That setlist didn’t work,” or “This part could’ve been better.”

RUKI: Before that, we wouldn’t even finalize the setlist until the day of the show (laughs). But even from the beginning, I think we always managed to enjoy the performances ourselves.

Uruha: Even though live shows were fun, there were days when we only had six people in the audience.

Aoi: Yeah, but we had dreams. When we went on tours, we’d share hotel rooms, right? We’d lie on our backs staring at the ceiling, talking about what kind of music we wanted to create (laughs).

REITA: Do you want to go back to sharing rooms? (laughs)

Aoi: Nah, I’m good (laughs). Maybe those days were just all part of our youth.

RUKI: But even now, if we all slept in the same room, we’d probably end up talking all night, about the same kind of stuff (laughs).

Interviewer: Reflecting on each show and applying that to the next one is important, but there must have been specific turning points that helped you all improve further along the way.

Aoi: Especially in the beginning, since we didn’t have solo gigs yet, we’d participate in events with this mindset of, “Let’s win over the audience.”

RUKI: There were times when we’d watch the band before us and decide on the spot to make our setlist more intense. I think that happened the first time we played a show with Nightmare. I remember thinking, “Wow, these guys have so much energy.” Did we win over the crowd that time? Maybe not (laughs). But we weren’t about to lose in terms of intensity!

Uruha: Back then, anything went.

REITA: We even had CO2 effects (stage pyrotechnics) because we just wanted to stand out.

RUKI: We’d start diving into the audience during the intro SE (laughs).

REITA: Into a crowd of 30 people (laughs).

Uruha: When it came to rehearsals, I’d often feel disheartened, thinking, “Wow, everyone else plays so well.” So at that point, the only thing we could do was focus on not losing in terms of energy and excitement (laughs). There was no point in competing in areas where we couldn’t win.

Aoi: That just means you’ve got to practice more on a daily basis.

Interviewer: Still, having that mindset of wanting to do something different from everyone else is important, isn’t it?

Aoi: Definitely. That’s something that’s still true for us, and it hasn’t changed since back then.

RUKI: I think our approach to live performances changed once we started doing one-man shows.

Uruha: When we joined our agency, they told us we needed to finalize the setlist in advance.

REITA: Right, there was this one time before a two-band show when the manager emailed us, asking for the setlist. I replied, “Don’t worry, we’ll decide it on the day,” and immediately got a phone call. The manager was like, “What are you even thinking?!” (laughs). When we finally started deciding the setlist ahead of time and then rehearsed it, we were like, “Ohhh, this makes sense” (everyone laughs). It took us about a year to figure that out (laughs).

Interviewer: Deciding on the day isn’t entirely unheard of, but looking back, were there any particularly memorable performances in recent years?

Uruha: I feel like turning points come to us periodically. Recently, it would have to be our show at Budokan.

RUKI: I wonder when we started to feel a sense of responsibility. Maybe after the first Budokan show? Not that we didn’t have any before that (laughs).

REITA: The realization that we had to succeed through our own abilities really came when we started playing in larger venues.

Aoi: Before that, our shows were often at venues where senior bands from our agency had performed, so we had a pretty good idea of how things worked. But when we first played Budokan, a venue that holds around 10,000 people, it was uncharted territory even for our agency. We had to collaborate and think things through carefully. In a way, up until then, we could simply show up to a pre-prepared venue, play our set, and the show would come together. But that dynamic changed. In a way, we’d been able to just show up, play, and the live would work. But that was no longer the case.

Interviewer: In terms of your recent approach to creating live shows, what would you say is unique to the GazettE’s style?

RUKI: At some point, we started focusing on expressing a cohesive world view. Since then, everything has become insanely detailed.

Aoi: Yeah, it’s super detailed. Even on the day of the show, we’ll weigh in on things like lighting adjustments. Of course, we also use simulations on computers beforehand. But now, we think of the entire stage as a unified production. Since we don’t have a director for staging, we have to handle everything ourselves.

RUKI: Even after the tour starts, we watch footage from the previous night, head to the venue early the next morning, and make adjustments to anything that caught our attention before rehearsals begin. We test those changes during rehearsal, tweak them again before the show, and work right up until just before the doors open. It’s a process of constantly refining things—trying them out, then repeating the same process the next day. Little by little, it gets closer to what we want.

Uruha: Even after the tour starts, as long as there’s room for improvement, there’s a massive amount of things to check, which inevitably makes everything more detailed. We keep making changes all the way up to the final show.

RUKI: We’re particular even with individual songs. For example, from the opening SE, the intro, and into the verse, we create a mood, layer by layer. If we had about a month to prepare, I think we could do everything perfectly, but that’s not usually the case. Of course, we delegate where we can, but when it comes to elements critical to the overall atmosphere, there’s no room for compromise. Recently, there’s the matter of those post-show announcement videos, right? We even get involved in things like the timing of the blackout before those play (laughs). It’s all about whether it gives us goosebumps or not—that’s the deciding factor.

Interviewer: You’re also very particular about details like the number of seconds between songs during a performance, right?

RUKI: Right. So for example, there’s a blue blackout where the members can still see their equipment, but even for the moment when it shifts to complete darkness, we’ll have the crew cue it precisely.

Uruha: We’re very particular about the timing of those cues.

Kai: We have so many discussions with both the band members and the staff that when something doesn’t go as planned during a show, everyone notices.

RUKI: Like if the timing for creating a silhouette is off or the shadow doesn’t appear properly (laughs). But we’re lucky to have a staff that keeps up with all this… Whether they enjoy it or not, I can’t say (laughs).

Kai: They’ve said it’s rewarding, even though it’s not easy. We’re really grateful to have such dedicated staff.

Interviewer: That level of detail could be described as perfectionism, wouldn’t you say?

RUKI: It’s less about what the audience thinks and more about whether it feels right to us.

Uruha: It’s less about being perfect and more about meeting our standards.

RUKI: A live show is like a live-action version of what’s on a CD. Everyone has an image of the colors and scenery they imagine when they listen to the music. If it’s supposed to feel like a night sky, but you have red lights, that doesn’t make sense. It’s that kind of abstract balance we’re always working with.

Interviewer: As a vocalist, what’s your approach to these live performances?

RUKI: It’s about whether I can immerse myself in it. Whether the transition from the previous song to the next flows naturally, whether I can switch seamlessly, whether I can fully embody and perform the song, and whether I can sing it completely. That’s all it comes down to for me, whether the live went well or not.

Interviewer: How about the instrumental members?

Aoi: I need to stay calm; otherwise, things get completely chaotic for me. It’s about how much everyone helps me stay focused during the live performance (laughs). It’s not about the members—it’s more about technical issues, like equipment power not being on. Those things really affect me, so I check those details pretty rigorously. The moment I arrive at the venue in the morning, I head straight to my gear to make sure everything’s in order.

Interviewer: So thorough preparation is key.

Aoi: Definitely. But I also want to keep things mentally light, so I try not to change too much from my usual routine.

Uruha: I’m somewhat similar to RUKI in that my focus is whether I can fully immerse myself in the music. When I’m fully in it, it’s not about whether I’m having fun or not—it’s more that my feelings are on a completely different level. My concentration is higher, and I feel like I’m truly experiencing the zone. Those are the moments when I feel a real sense of fulfillment. During a tour, it’s about discovering an environment that allows for that kind of immersion. It’s not something I can always control myself, but right now, that’s what I value most.

REITA: For me, the ultimate goal is to walk away feeling refreshed, but to get there, I want to avoid any stress during the performance. Physical discomfort tends to have the biggest impact—things like not being able to plant my feet properly can throw me off. To address that, I started warming up about 30 minutes before the show—stretching and light muscle training. It’s made a big difference. Once the performance starts, it’s all about how much I can sweat. If I don’t get drenched and completely messy early on, I can’t fully immerse myself. Being in that state keeps me from overexerting myself unnecessarily.

Kai: Like everyone else, I want to fully focus on the performance and channel my emotions into it. But at the same time, I want things to go as planned. For instance, if there’s a venue where certain lighting isn’t available, I need to know that everyone—both the staff and the band members—understands this limitation. If someone doesn’t know or forgets, the moment something unexpected happens, it’s like, “Whoa, what just happened!?” That moment of confusion becomes visible. If everyone’s on the same page, I can focus entirely on the performance.

REITA: You sound like a stage manager (laughs).

Kai: No, no, it’s not like that (laughs). But when the flow of the show is clearly recognized by everyone—staff and band alike—that’s when I can feel the least stressed and the most focused. That’s why I speak up about anything I notice (laughs).

Interviewer: But unexpected things still happen, don’t they?

Kai: Sure, they do. But things like equipment trouble, you can’t really help that. It’s not something to blame anyone for. The important part is how we respond when it happens. We also have to make sure that any accidents are communicated clearly to everyone. Even when something unexpected happens, we want things to proceed as smoothly as planned.

Interviewer: I see... The GazettE’s live shows feel like intricately crafted spectacles. But it sounds like they’re even more detailed than we might imagine.

Kai: To us, this level of detail feels normal, so we don’t really think about it. But maybe it seems that way to others.

Aoi: We’ve been active for a long time, so the amount of things we need to check has grown to an immense level over time. As a result, it’s become more intricate. But every band has its own way of doing things.

Interviewer: This tour sounds like it’s going to be something truly special, even from this perspective.

RUKI: The worldview of DOGMA will only fully come together during the live performances. With us, the fans, and the lighting all coming together, that’s when the true essence of DOGMA emerges. I think we’ll start to feel what DOGMA really is little by little from the first day. I’m excited about it, and we’re very determined to bring this absolute of DOGMA to completion.

Uruha: This time, we had nearly two years of preparation since the last album, the longest planning period in The GazettE’s history. It’s a meticulously constructed work that we’re bringing on tour. The fans who’ve been waiting for us have high expectations, and I’m confident that the tour will be rich and fulfilling enough to meet those expectations. I want them to enjoy it without any worries.

REITA: The album itself is complete, but the entity of DOGMA has just been born. How it grows will depend on the tour. This album was created under intense circumstances, with so many things happening during its production. We don’t know how it will evolve, but we feel a strong obligation to make it a success.

Aoi: It’s such a well-constructed work that I think our abilities as a band will be put to the test in how we translate it into a live performance. We’re determined to present something that everyone will be satisfied with.

Kai: While our approach hasn’t fundamentally changed, I feel that what each of us brings—our ideas, skills, and overall potential—is at its highest level ever. As the essence of what the GazettE is, we aim to present something truly convincing and powerful. I want everyone to look forward to that.

Scans cr: Kyoselflove Translation: ChatGPT

[danieyells]

Mc owing Romeo money and getting stuffed in the auction hall/cages and starts selling them untill they work their debt 😞 and seeing one of their friends thinking they are getting them out of there but not quite. Like I can see Kaito going deeper into debt bc it's honestly the only chance he has to touch a woman hshs or Jin buying it off but being scummy

re: Romeo doesn't threaten to sell the pc for talking back, much to my disappointment.

YES YES YOU SEE THE VISION. (FWIW these little bundles are only Frostheim, although I can certainly think up the rest. . .I already have ideas for Leo, Romeo, Taiga. . . .)

content warnings for suggestions of non/dubcon and forced prostitution. Also a warning for a scenario in which everyone is a little out of character. Except Luca, he's pretty much himself.

Jin would buy you back and absolutely be a real shit about it. You're already his servant and you already owe him for breaking that vase on top of that, how dare you let someone else use your body. Peasants at that? Somehow this is not Romeo's fault, but yours. "I suppose I'll have to give you more to do. Not only to get my money's worth, but to keep you out of trouble from now on." He places a hand on your lower back to bring you closer, your clothes still not returned by Romeo. His charming grin is somewhat cold with ill intentions, somehow not much of a contrast to the threatening warmth of his stigma activating against your skin. "You're going to thank me properly for rescuing you. You know better than to defy me by now, servant. Or maybe that's too lofty for you. Maybe now 'whore' would be better."

Tohma would come fetch you, but not before teasing you through the bars. "You're already at Jin's mercy and you've put yourself at Romeo's as well? You're a bit of a magnet for trouble, aren't you?" When Romeo unlocks your cage after being paid by Tohma, you thank him, assuming Jin sent him on his behalf and asking where he is. "Oh, no, not quite." He smiles, guiding you onto your back on the metal floor of your confines before you can make your way out. "Sorry to disappoint, but this particular expense is just for me. If you'd like Jin to come and save you, I could leave you here until he arrives himself; thus far your track record suggests you enjoy being in service of others. I wouldn't want to be so selfish as to ruin your fun just to have you for myself. . .or perhaps I could have you see to others in Frostheim, if you like this line of work. It would certainly make the place much warmer."

Luca would be kind to you, of course. He would pay your debt and do you no harm. Drape his house cloak or jacket over you to cover you and escort you out and back to the safety of the Cathedral--after having you examined at the infirmary first, of course. You can cry on him and tell him how horrible it all was. He'll be there to comfort you and hold you. If you need him to stand guard over you over night--even if it's not reasonable to think you would be abducted after your debt is paid--to help you sleep easier, he won't hesitate to do so. "If you feel comfortable enough to say. . .do you remember the names of those who hurt you? Or their faces?" He asks as you cling to him and cry. "Even the houses they were in. Anything at all. I won't let them get away with what they've done without seeing justice. Your contract with Romeo Scorpus Lucci may have soundly included such a clause, but I will have words with him as well. Such practices are unsavory. I won't let it happen again."

Kaito owes money himself, so you're surprised when he's led into the auction hall by Romeo. You figured his debts were from a gambling addiction. . .did he spend his money in here? On hookers and blow??? He runs to you like a child in an animal shelter who's made up his mind about a particular dog and looks at you with stress and sympathy. Romeo unlocks your cage and shoves him in with you. Kaito's there because he's already in debt. You're working alongside him. You're making half as much but at least you're not alone. Sometimes Romeo has you put on 'shows' together. It's strange and scary to be made to be intimate with someone you love and trust for a cruel audience. Kaito frequently attempts to appeal to Romeo, to take on your debt along with his own so you can go free, even if he has to suffer in your stead. Romeo refuses. You work together for a few days before Jin has to come fetch the both of you. You have a newfound connection, although it's profoundly awkward and uncomfortable, while still being comforting as you tightly hold each others' hand in support. When you feel strange about not being fucked day and night, you turn to each others' bodies for satisfaction. It's a unique sort of intimacy, sharing in your victimhood together, but not the intimacy you want with your best friend/boyfriend. "I--I. . . ." He snaps his head around to glare at Romeo. "I know I only paid for like an hour, but do you have to watch!?" "You really think I trust you not to formulate some escape if I leave you alone?" "YOU LOCKED ME IN HERE TOO!!!" Romeo looks at his watch and taps his fingers against the bars. "Get on with it, Fuji-kun~. TCIT." "T. . .C. . .I. . .ugh, I don't have time for this!" Kaito looks at you with wet eyes and a genuinely regretful expression. "I was just. . .it felt like the only way! Like I didn't have a chance with you unless. . . . I'm sorry! Please don't hate me for this!" Somehow, being used by Kaito makes you feel like the bad guy. Maybe it's the apologies and the tears, and the shaky words of praise, the way he hides his face in your neck and whimpers about wanting to kiss you but not like this. In the end you're stuck in there afterwards with Romeo escorting Kaito out as he vows to find some way to get you out, even if it means taking your place. Romeo reminds him that he already owes money himself, and would more likely get his own cage back alongside you. Kaito whimpers in frustration at his helplessness.

[kryptznnn]

♡-The Feelings Mutual

➸ INTERESTS; - agedup!lo’ak x fem!omatikayan reader

➸ BACKGROUND; - For as long as you can remember your brother has always had issues with the youngest son of the Sully family. Their rivalry would constantly get them in trouble and even after being punished they would go back to doing the same stupid things as before, just by their actions you grew highly annoyed by them both. Expecting the same feelings in return from Lo’ak, you’re surprised to learn how much of a turn things take.

➸ WARNINGS; - wc. 1.1k tension, aggression, romantic tension, arguing, offensive language. That's about it honestly!!

➸a.i; - omg guess who's back (not for long), I wanted to post this old draft to bring back my return!! i'll get started on other works, just lmk what you'd like!! 🌸my main navigation

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚

♡-The Feelings Mutual Masterlist

“Your sister was right you truly don’t have a brain” You stated harshly, jabbing your finger into the boy’s chest.

“Your brother started it, like always. Don’t be mad I’m defending myself” He scoffed in response, quickly pushing your hand to the side and turning around.

“Lo’ak don’t be stupid, all you do is compete to the near death with my brother for what? what could you possibly be trying to prove?” You asked him, now walking with him side by side. “It’s not worth nearly dying and constantly getting in trouble for, you’re insane.” You explained, hoping to talk some sense into him for the hundredth time. Honestly speaking to him was easier than speaking to your brother, it’s like he physically had no ears.

“Whatever” he said blatantly, walking a little faster to get further ahead from you, you just gave up and stopped in your tracks.

“Eywa you can’t be more like your brother maybe? Spare everyone a headache!” You shouted loud enough for him to hear you. He yelled along the words “Fuck You” and stuck his middle finger up at you, they were sky people terms you didn't fully understand, but regardless it was still harsh and derogatory.

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚

Throughout the next few weeks your relationship with Lo’ak, if you could even call it that, was splitting quickly and any laughter or amusing times you spent together quickly turned into nasty comments starting to shoot back and forth from one another. Now you were starting to sound even worse than your brother and in all honesty you even shocked both of the boys with your replies, being vile and malicious.

Truth is you didn’t mean any of it.

Well,

most of it.

Lo’aks' snark remarks and attitude dug under a layer of your skin no one has ever reached before; it made you burn with anger and frustration. Not necessarily hatred, just more curious as to what started this all and why were you both so angry with one another. More importantly, what drove him to be so rude and hateful towards you? Now it didn’t even seem like your brother was the problem, you were.

Truth be told before this you had always seen something in him, maybe it was his sense of humor and never failing to make you laugh. Or his charismatic attitude along with his impressive athletic skills and looks. He was nice, but now you couldn’t even tell who he was anymore, and it made you wonder just how bad he hated you.

He hates when you’re out with friends, especially his friends, but can never give a reasonable explanation as to why. It seems the only time he could keep his remarks and attitude to himself is when you two were alone, which was never for long because someone would always end up between the two of you for the cycle to start over.

It drove you insane, was he kind or not? Did he hate you or not? Do you hate him or not? It didn’t necessarily matter anymore because now you two are arguing, again, but this time you want to have your questions answered.

“So, you do it for fun?? You badmouth the other Navi that I hang out with because it’s fun for you?? Do you not see how stupid you sound??!” You yelled, pacing around in the depths of the forest while Lo’ak shook his head at you in disbelief, nearly mocking you.

“I’m stupid?? Pay attention to the guys you hang out with it’s so obvious why they’re with you to begin with. You’re too stupid to see it, I’m damn near doing your ass a favor” He spat boldly, walking up to you and looking you in the eyes. You rolled your eyes at him

“Oh, so that makes you some kind of hero now. All you’ve done for the past couple of weeks is shut me down and slander me. Complain about them not being shit when you aren’t eith- “

“I’m an asshole? You’ve been doing the same shit to me. You’re upset about my attitude like you aren’t showing me the feeling is mutual. You and your brother are always on my ass just give me a fucking break and fuck off.” He said, cutting you off and grabbing his belongings to leave. He thought it was stupid even coming here in the first place, you had called him to this place to “talk things out”, only for you both to lash out at one another and forget what even started this whole situation.

It was strange to you because this time he wasn’t yelling, he was upset yes, but his response wasn’t necessarily harsh, it was more of a deflect from you. You stood there unaware of what to say, should you be upset or keep your composure? Should you say something else or stay silent?

“You’re just going to leave?” You ask, standing in front of him attempting to block him from walking away from the conversation. He stood there in front of you, scanning your face, as you did his.

His gaze softened when he looked in your eyes, seeing right into you. You held your ground reflecting the same actions back onto him, the tension was strong, as much as you wanted to look away from him you couldn’t.

It felt as if your body, no, the universe wouldn’t let you, as if this was something that had to happen. You tilted your head slightly and his eyes followed before he cleared his throat.

“I don’t have anything else to say to you, don’t worry about me because you won’t be seeing me anymore” he said softly, placing his bow over his torso and turning around, now leaving you alone entirely with nothing but the night sky and your thoughts.

That meant something it had to, people don’t just look at one another that way, especially if they hate you.

Or at least if they claim they do

That felt like everything but hatred, and honestly it made you question your entire relationship with Lo’ak to begin with.

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚

✴🕷 please do not copy, plagiarize, edit, or translate any works submitted by me. all works are originated and all other pictures used within those works are online images. thank you!! @kryptznnn

[museenkuss]

What I learned in 52 weeks of doing my loving and moving my body series

The obvious: preparing a workout plan that matches your schedule on a week to week basis is incredibly helpful

It’s also genuinely so so so much fun to select new, interesting videos every single week. I’m looking forward to my planning sessions on the weekend all throughout the week

Keeping track of the plan and the process (like I do by posting my plans and talking about how I liked the videos in the tags) really helps when it comes to establishing a routine. It’s also easy to just collect the links in a tumblr post.

Pilates every other day with a variety of other things strewn in to spice it up (yoga, barre, dance…) works best for me

On that note: while I do have that preference, a set of instructors I like and a few favourite videos, I like to add one video that’s new to me every week. To challenge myself and to keep things interesting. It’s just 20 minutes, what’s the harm in trying something new (like a format or even workout style you haven’t tried before)! You might end up loving it!

Personally, I like to do a “more challenging” video on Monday, so for the rest of the week, I have something to be proud of! “I managed this, I can do that, too!”

Having one main video a day (20-30 mins) with a little surprise (5-15 mins) works wonders for me, because if I didn’t find the time to do the main video, I can usually squeeze in a surprise and still move a little

Re:surprises. That was such an ingenious idea tbh. It really works for me. For every main video, I find a little video that brings some variety into it. For a pilates main video, I might pick a tiny yoga session or some ballet arms. For a barre class I might pick flexibility or some little dance tutorial, etc. I will then immediately forget what the video is once I’ve put it in a little [x min surprise] box, and getting to click it on the day honestly is such an exciting little moment. Present from me to me, truly. It really works wonders and it’s a great way to add more variety and explore new short form things, too.

Anything that makes moving the body fun is great. Belly dance tutorials, Pilates, wrist stretches, videos on how to get better posture. ANYTHING. There are so many ways to move and it’s so much fun to explore them!

Setting a theme is a really fun way to try new things now and then! Like my Utena-inspired plans. I’ve thought about doing colours (pink videos for a week), too.

Having a vault of things to choose from makes it a lot easier and also heightens the excitement when it comes to planning the sessions. I bookmark the videos, sort them into categories and add the length at the beginning of the bookmark name. I also have a separate folder for videos I haven’t tried yet, and I add whatever I see that sounds interesting. It’s a GREAT way to 1) bring variety into the selection and 2) make the planning stage a lot easier

Loving and moving my body DID change it. And I didn’t even notice, because I was too busy having fun.

[ralkana]

(This is going to be a series of posts over a few months, dealing with my [neverending] battle with clutter. I will be tagging them with "ral's adventures in decluttering" and "decluttering challenge" if you'd like to filter them out.)

Onto the challenge!

Maybe you've heard of the 30-Day Declutter Challenge. Originally, it was designed for you to get rid of 1 item on Day 1, 2 items on Day 2, etc, ending with getting a total of 465 items out of your space. Some people realized this was hard mode and reversed it: getting rid of 30 items on Day 1 and 1 item on Day 30. It's easier in the beginning when you have more stuff to clear!

The variation that appeals most to me is doing 30 days, but not in chronological order. So maybe on Day 1, you get rid of 27 things, and on Day 17, you get rid of 5. Out of order, but the result is the same.

Another variation I've seen is stacked days. Same length of time for the challenge, but maybe one day you clear 7 + 22 on one day, and another day you don't clear any.

My space is cluttered enough that I'm doing Beast Mode. 60 days! If I do this as a 60-day challenge, that gets over 1800 items out of my house.

I know enough about myself, however, to know that if I try to push for 60 straight days, I'll give up on Day 6.

So! I'm doing it over 90 days, and I'm not doing it in chronological order. I'm posting here for accountability. I will post the number of items for the day and the updated post-it wall. By July 12, I'll have removed 1830 unnecessary items, and hopefully, I'll have given myself some room to breathe!

I technically started Sunday but didn't post because I didn't have the post-it notes up.

Sunday, I did a quick 10 minute pass through the kitchen and found:

16 things to trash

37 things to recycle

20 things to donate

73 things to declutter. In a quick 10 minutes!

1st pic is trash, 2nd is recycle, 3rd is donate:

I'm only pulling the 60 post-it, but I'm gonna keep track of the total number as well.

Last night, I did my regular Tuesday clean & chat with @ladytian, and I worked in the Doom Room a bit.

It's always disheartening in there because I worked for nearly an hour, and it doesn't look like I did anything!

BUT!

Actually counting the items I've removed is very helpful because it's concrete evidence that I actually did make progress.

Less than an hour of work, and I've got:

19 things to trash or recycle

38 things to donate

Not great pictures, but I was sleepy. 1st pic is trash/recycle, 2nd pic is donate:

57 things leaving my house!

3 day total: 130 items!

I honestly can't wait to see what the total is at the end of this.

[nayomi247]

I dont know how many characters i can request but if you can could you do a vox,valentino and alastor with a reader who always has some kind of bruises on their legs,arms, anywhere!

like reader has no idea where they get them and just shrugs its off haha

thank you so much if you do 💞

A/N: As a person who randomly gets bruises myself, this was really fun to write!

Pairing: Vox/reader, Valentino/reader, & Alastor/reader

Contents: mention of nsfw, fluff, established relationships

Alastor, Vox, and Val with a reader that is always bruised

Work under the cut🤞🏻

♡Valentino♡

The first time he noticed it, was when you both were cuddling after a shoot he had. He brought you close to his body, causing you to wince in pain. He immediately pulled back, asking if you were okay. When he saw the bruises that practically covered your body, he thought that someone else had hurt you. He started asking a million questions at once. Who dared to touch his lover? He would kill anyone that even looked at you the wrong way. When you assured him that no one had hurt you, and that you didn't even know where they came from, he was relieved. But he started up with the questions once more, confused as to how you got so many. When you once again said you didn't know, he shrugged it off but also made sure to handle you easier as to not hurt you more.

🖥️Vox🖥️

It took him a while to notice. He's so busy, and honestly not very detail oriented. But when he'd pulled off your clothes when you guys were having intimacy, he would see your body, and immediately stop in his tracks, a bit panicked. His mind would be racing with questions. Did he do this? Was he too rough with you? Why didn't you tell him? Without him even having to say anything, just by the look on his face you could tell he saw you. You grabbed his wrist and his mind went blank for a moment, waiting for you to speak. When you told him that they just happend, you didn't know how they appeared. He relaxed a bit, but still wanted to make sure you were okay, handling you with care and trying not to harm you or make you uncomfortable. From then on, he made sure to keep an eye on you so you wouldn't be as clumsy.

📻Alastor📻

He'd found out by seeing your arm while you were both out one day. He'd subtlety brung it up, not wanting to jump to conclusions and asked how they appeared. When you'd said you didn't know, he'd laughed and told you that Rosy used to be the same way. Sharing stories about times he'd found them on her, etc etc. Over all he was very chill about it, but when you guys got back to the hotel he made sure to grab you some pain killers and some ice. When you guys went to bed that night, he made sure to handle you gently, regardless of what you'd said. Similar to Vox, he'd made sure to keep an eye on you and try to not let you get in situations that would end up with you that way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YAYYY FIRST WORK DONE!!! I was so happy to see this request, I had to work on it immediately. Thank you so much🫶🏻

I hope you guys like this as much as I liked writing it. My asks are always open for any other requests you may have :]

If you guys want a tag list, lmk!!

[chynandri]

How to Survive Enstars Events Without Wanting to KYS

The event of my Enstars life is coming up next week on the English server (the only server I actively play on): Rouge&Ruby. I can’t describe what Melting Rouge Soul did to my brain in February 2023. It’s an incredibly important song, card, event, story to me! And my goal is to get max copy of Ibara’s card, just as I did for Bogie Time Ibara.

My pride and joy. It’s funny that this card is called ‘Extra Undurable Time’ cuz that is exactly what enstars events are.

However, we don’t play gacha games for fun. We play for collecting the little guy they make you get deeply attached to. If I get adhd hyperfixated I can deal with it. But how the hell did I get max copy Bogie Time Ibara in 2023. I remember how mind numbing it was, even if by some amazing stroke of luck God and the universe created the perfect situation to allow me to no life enstars that week.

So this post is to compile my personal ‘strategies’/mindsets, how to even want to keep playing this game - basically to steel myself for the biggest trial of my ensemble stars ‘career’. Because to me, grinding enstars events is always a battle of the mind more than anything else.

Song events just seem more daunting to me, even if they’re technically ‘easier’ gameplay wise because you can just spam autoplay - compared to manually playing 120 songs for a tour event (and then spamming autoplay). I will not say tour events are better. They’re all their own equally terrible hells to me.

Motivation Notes Staying motivated and focused is SUPER IMPORTANT. I find that visuals like ‘motivational posters’ I make for myself are fun and helpful. See above my specific home screen page JUST for enstars. I don’t really play cnstars, but since that server allows you to change the app icon I use it as additional visualization. Calendar can be helpful for keeping track of how much time you have left.

Customizing your enstars in-game homescreen and profile to match the character you’re working so hard for is also fun. Overall, it’s like a vision board but for your goals in video games (important) instead of real life (not as important).

I have this homescreen for (Ei/)Chiaki purposes but honestly the small movements of the live 2D can be extra sensory input. Treat your brain and eyes like a sensitive little baby.

I REALLY should’ve done this for the Universe event, but as of writing this I’m nearly at the 1 million point goal of getting the Chiaki 4 star card. Now this is the most flat, ‘boring’ layout that will not subtly tire you out.

There needs to be minimal audio and visual stimulation in-game. I found that even changing the MV background to no image but the stage image to be helpful in reducing visual stimulation. Putting the game audio on mute is a good way to reduce audio stimulation. The UI/UX of enstars is clunky, tedious, and busy itself so any effort in reducing its sensory input is a plus.

Simple mode is the most basic you can get. Turn off lyrics here and in the details settings if you want even less stuff on screen.

As much as I love the azukisan notes, a note style that’s not too confusing/designed is probably better too.

Another thing I have not personally tried out for playing the game, but have done so to turn my iPad into an ‘e-reader’ is to turn on greyscale mode for the entire phone. I believe e-readers are usually greyscale to simulate a real book, and to limit distraction. This concept could be used for playing games too… Enstars is quite colorful after all and that is also - sensory input.

Here’s how to toggle greyscale on iOS: Accessibility > Display & Text Size > Color Filters

Beyond that, publicly sharing your progress is another source of motivation - whether on social media or with friends. Be careful not to reveal too much info about your account at the same time (exact dia count, don’t show ALL the cards you have, etc.).

But you have to be your own biggest hypeman. Channel the energy of the most annoying and loud characters you know (Chiaki, Madara, and Ibara are good examples - I say this with LOVE AND AFFECTION). Celebrate as many event point milestones as you can. RISE AND GRIND!!!!

Gameplay Notes

Important info to know for song events is what is your highest scoring song. You can use the search button in the Live page to filter all the songs by score.

Favorite it so you can make your song menu as simple as possible. This isn’t relevant for tour events tho.

Song Events: Have not maxed out a song event card before so I don’t have any experience to draw upon. I just go for 10BP sometimes 3-6BP each time as I can’t open the game that often during the day. Maybe it’s not technically efficient but I’d rather not be anxious over keeping track of BP regeneration. Very helpful to turn on notifications for Enstars so it can inform you when your BP and work tickets are at max.

Tour Events: I remember at some point I tried spending 10BP on EACH song even if that is not wise. But still mostly kept to the 3-3-6-10 format. Tried 3-6-6-10 too. Maybe I was just losing my mind during Bogie Time and wanted to mess around with the pattern for some sort of ‘fun’.

I can’t wrap my head around the technical aspects of BP spending strategies tbh. The consistent effort is what matters I think. I will not and do not spend much brainpower on this.

Spending Real Life Money: I did spend Real Life Money on prime mission and the 15 whistles per day perk for bogie time. Did it help? A bit. Did it make me want to die less? Idk it feels good to get extra rewards from playing the game so much from prime mission. I used to subscribe to it more often when I first started playing but have long since stopped. The autoloop song vip perk is useful but if you are playing on your phone - I need to use my phone for other things so I can’t keep the game open to complete loops that long. Perhaps a setup of grinding on a tablet instead would be less anxiety inducing/less to keep track of. But I also use my tablet for other things. So from this angle is it truly an upgrade…?

I think the best deal is to buy as many permanent whistle packs from the store as you can and save them for the event. But especially when they have special deals or at the same time as those top up reward events so you maximize your purchases.

I’m not sure if I will buy VIP or more packs for Rouge&Ruby. I had around 76k dia for Bogie Time and did not burn through it all. I must’ve spent around 50k dia. But I read that song events are much more expensive. I’ve saved over 100k dia this time, but I did also buy/win (thru minigames during events) over 500 permanent whistles. I have no idea how this will all pan out so it will be interesting to see how much I burn through. I feel very prepared, so that’s why I don’t see a need for more store purchases right now.

So basically - of course throwing money at things has its benefits. But if you don’t go all out on the perks and spending, it still requires some willpower I think. I got to 80k dia from clearing every single song/song difficulty in the game, clearing the story objectives, and completing all daily free missions in a period of 3-2 months. The rest came from freebies, stories, or seasonal events as they happened. I didn’t start from 0, I think I had somewhere around 10-20k dia before I decided to painfully farm dia from every single song. I used to diligently complete starry live but I don’t think it’s worth the time for a random amount of dia. This is also why I banned myself from scouting (unless it’s limited cards) - only care about what you can get GUARANTEED. Event cards do not rely on rng.

Event Point Ranking: The validation you get from having a high point rank is great. It’s hard for me to ignore and pushes me to grind more. But I also think it’s bad for my brain to care so much when my goal is NOT tiering for the sake of tiering. It’s an extra source of anxiety. I really don’t have any tips for this but to just try to not look at it. Progress - but also reasonably taking care of yourself - is all that matters. You can’t compete with the hardcore f2ps or whales. Just forget it. I’m not here to excel. I’m here to survive enough to get 22 million points.

Event Card Bonus: I had the 4 star bonus card for bogie time. It did feel helpful, but I’d rather not spend tickets or dia on characters I don’t produce so I won’t try to get them anymore.

Live Score Dia Boost: I’ve never tried using dia to boost my score as it just feels better to me to keep dia for BP purposes.

I think that’s about it… Writing this all out was pretty helpful for outlining what’s in my mind. I genuinely can get so over-excited for things. I was so excited/anxious for New Start Go I had trouble breathing right at the very minute the event started 💀 And I was only getting one card of Hajime. Hopefully this all will help me deal with the mounting anticipation of the Ibara event/song/card ever and maybe something was of use to whomever read all this.

[qwertyprophecy]

hi !! i recently played storyseeker and really loved it !! i was curious about how you went about designing the story for it ?? was it hard to keep track of all the moving narrative parts ?? how did you decide where to reveal what info ?? hope you dont mind me asking -- i really love your art !! have a great day !!

I'm glad you enjoyed Storyseeker! Old as it may be, out of everything I've made it's still the game I'd most like to make a spiritual successor to.

Answers to narrative design questions after the cut:

It's funny, Storyseeker's design process was so organic that realistically it should've turned into a right mess. But just as organically it lead into design principles that made organising the story a breeze, honestly.

What I mean by organic: As touched upon in this reply regarding worldbuilding, the story kept writing itself as long as I kept asking it questions, so I just let it do its thing. The player is meant to experience the narrative in much the same way, with me imposing as little control over them as possible while they travel as they please and narrate to themselves the story of what they see.

It sounds freeform and terribly unstructured, but I established a principle of design that aims to help the player connect the dots instead of feeling lost in a cacophony of random details. While making the game I called them "paths": routes the player is likely to take or subtly guided to take, that connect together related parts of the narrative. Visually some are literal paths or roads, but they could be anything that the player might follow. Footprints, streams of bubbles, the line of sight of an NPC, the sight of something irregular peeking at the edge of the screen...

A path presents both a question and a direction to go look for the answer. Oftentimes, the exact questions I was asking myself when building the world piece by piece. Where does this road lead? Where are these weasels swimming to (or, approaching from the opposite direction, where did they come from)? What dislodged itself from this hole in the ice and where did it go? What kind of a body are these giant toes connected to? Ie., to answer your question of when to reveal information: when the player asks for the information by moving towards where it's revealed, whether on purpose or unknowingly.

If the player follows the direction they must end up on another path because good answers beget more questions. The single most important design document I had was a piece of scrap paper with a rough sketch of the map and a whole lot of coloured lines flowing across it to mark the paths I was prepping for the player. (Lines, not arrows, since I couldn't predict which direction they'd be traveled in.) By visualising them I tried to make sure none of them stopped abruptly or looped in a circle, and that all the places of interest were covered.

(The biggest exception to this design is of course the dead end of a room that is the game's final area: the temple interior that can only be found by completionists. That's why it "completes" the game by being a narrative dead end, too.)

I genuinely didn't even plan it this way on purpose, but it turns out that it really helps keep track of a narrative when you make a game where webs of cause and consequence are all visually illustrated on a literal map. :D If you're the type of person who benefits from visually organising things, I don't see why you couldn't draw abstracted maps of your narrative even if it's not so visual in nature.

I know I definitely need to do more of that! Just last week I rescued my current project's dialogue rewrite with visualisation and arrow doodles. It had grown into an overwhelming mess of unplanned splitting and rejoining branches and microreactivity, so to have any chance of looking at it without inviting a migraine, I closed the document and instead mapped the whole script into a single page outline of what each conversation is supposed to convey to the player. It's so much easier for me to think about the shape of the story when I can see it in one glance!

[asylumgarden2003]

Study Tips

Hi and happy Friday the 13th! It’s Serena here with some studying tips. We’ll get into the different methods I like to use, helpful hacks for a better study environment, and the apps that help me reach my study goals. Currently, I’m taking Biology, Chemistry, Advanced Functions and English <33

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Methods

Active recall is (in my opinion) the most useful study method where you recite the information without looking at your notes or textbooks. Instead of passively reviewing material, you test yourself on key concepts, questions, or facts. This process helps me identify my weak and strong areas in what I’m studying. This technique is best for memory-based subjects like biology, history and other social sciences, but can be used in whatever way you prefer!

Flashcards are another super great study method, especially when it comes to memorizing diagrams and quick definitions. I love using flashcards and quizzing myself with my friends which makes studying a little bit more entertaining for us!

Teaching the content, which is a bit similar to active recall, is another personal favorite of mine because this technique ensures you understand the material and know how and why something happens. Explaining the content to someone else helps you break the material down into more manageable chunks of information, making it easier to remember and not so intimidating.

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Helpful Tips

Listening to music while studying is fine, but it’s better to use music without lyrics (unless your volume is very low). For me especially, I lose my focus because of the words and my studying isn’t as efficient as it should be.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE invest in a whiteboard!!! They're so amazing and they honestly make me want to study because they’re so fun to use. I recommend one of the bigger ones (so you can write out more information) and remember to use different colors so the information can really stick (and just because it looks better)

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

Useful Apps

Flora is one of my favorite apps right now that keeps me off of my phone when I’m doing homework and studying. It’s actually super motivating because if you go onto another app, you ‘kill a tree’ (which is very rude in my opinion). It’s even better when you study with your friends on the app, and compete to see who can get the most hours of studying done.

Notion is an app that has many uses, but in this context you can use it to track your assignments and upcoming evaluations! You can then use the app to plan the dates and times that you’ll study each subject to ensure you’re prepared for everything.

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

I really hope these tips help you on your studying journey, and that you can make the most of this school year! <33

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[vivacia-18]

Rupees as crystallized magic, and other LOZ thoughts...

Was thinking of Zelda stuff the other night when I was out walking my doggo (as one does) and I kinda wanted to list it out here to keep track of it. Don't take anything too seriously, this is just musing for fun, but feel free to adopt any ideas that strike your fancy.

Edit: This got long so I'm going to put it under a cut ^^;

The main setting for this is BOTW (with some TotK tie in) because it's a very fun sandbox to play in, though I absolutely pull from other games

While it's a bit of a stretch, I like to amuse myself with the headcanon that Link can naturally see - and therefore interact with - the magical and supernatural, whereas most people can't. You need to have magic/magical abilities like the Champions and Sheikah/Yiga (or divine liek Zelda... or both like Gan lol) just to have a shot, and the weaker/less trained you are the less you can see/interact. Normal people can't see shit without outside intervention, eg a device like the eye of truth or the magical being in question themselves. That's why NPC's are always so chill when you do crazy shit near them - they literally can't perceive most of what you are doing.

In that vein, this is also why no one else does stuff like harvest rupees from grass or pots - they literally can't because they don't have the magic to perceive them.

Following that, I wondered what might be a good in-universe reason for great fairies to love rupees so much. My thought, which I honestly quite like as it ties things together quite neatly, is that rupees are crystallized magic. They are inert, they can't channel any sort of powers... but for a being made of pure magic like the great fairies, they sure are tasty!

I like to think that the different coloured rupees have different flavours/magical concentration, and so part of the reason not all the great fairies have equal power for upgrading your stuff is because they favour different flavours of rupees. The weakest likes the green ones, with some blue thrown in for funsies. Are they nutritious? Not really, but damn are they tasty. The most powerful obviously likes silver and gold rupees best, though purple are tasty too. They also have more kick, so they can do more to upgrade your stuff ;)

Back to the rupees being crystallized magic, and why they appear... I think it's just another consequence of Hyrule being a literally very magical land that tends to manifest things to bleed it off (eg the stall creatures rising naturally every night). For the rupees that are visible, like under peoples houses and such, I like to think the blupees put them there for fun. For pots, I think as the clay to make the pots came from Hyrules soil it's no surprise they retain the ability to manifest rupees on occasion.

The TotK tie in with all this I was daydreaming on is a classic "What if Link was the one who went to the past" (... admittedly because in this particular AU Zelda didn't live at the end of BOTW - she was a spirit just like the former Champions and dissipated at the end of everything along with them. Sorry guys!)

Aaaaanyways, Link gets a report about weird stuff at the castle, checks it out, ends up in the past, etc etc.

Takes it pretty well (our boy knows how to roll with the punches lol) and Rauru and Sonia basically adult adopt him (he's CUTE dammit, and so carefree but sometimes he just seems so SAD, y'know?)

In this AU Gan and the Gerudo are not immediately attacking; he and a Gerudo party are in fact visiting for diplomatic reasons (aka spying because knowledge is Power and all that) though tensions are definitely high

So obviously they are a common topic of conversation between Rauru, Sonia and Link.

During one of these chats, Link mentions that yeah he can see why the Gerudo would feel the Hylians had it easier to accumulate wealth - harvesting rupees from grass is way faster than from pots and sand dunes afterall.

And Rauru and Sonia just... stare at him. Because wtf? Leading to a whole demonstration of Link whacking grass and breking pots (with permission!) and rupees sprouting up.

And some very confused civilians who can't see the rupees until they appear in Links hands lol

Raura and Sonia could always see them, buuuut they're royalty - they aren't lacking for money and they don't cut grass or break pottery for funsies, so it's never really come up.

Also had vague ideas of a scene where Gan does something impressive with swordplay (like I dunno, an exhibition where he slices through a huge boulder like butter) and Link, hanging out with some of the Gerudo party, is admittedly impressed. But not by the muscle, no; he's impressed at the precise application of raw magic on the edge of the sword to achieve that. There was no elemental bleed through even, just pure power! That's hard to do!

And once again our companion just. Stares. Because whot he fuck is this twink to be able to perceive Lord Ganons magical workings in such detail?! At a single glance?!?!

She drags him over to Gan and gets him to say that all again. Link is very bemused but gamely does so.

Gan in turn is intrigued (and begrudgingly impressed not that he'd ever admit it) because he definitely thought Link was weak at worst and strictly a skilled meathead at best. Who's have thought he actually knew so many big words, let alone had a natural gift with magic?

Sidenote Link can use any magical device with ease and channel a power someone gives him (like the magical equivalent to type O blood), but he can't craft his own magic (outside of the kitchen ;P) worth shit.

Walkies ended there so that's about as far as I got, but I think you see my vision.

Kudos and a cookie if you read this ramble all the way to the end lol.