#this is good. it’s funny. I like the messy complicated characters and relationships and it's full of queer culture

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Here We Go Again

adult f/f romance

follows two childhood friends who’ve hated each other since their middle school crush-based falling out, who are now both back teaching in their small town high school

when the english teacher who was like a father figure to both of them asks them both to drive him across the country as his dying wish, they give in and spend a summer on a wild road trip across the country that forces them to confront each other and maybe grow back together

two lesbian MCs with ADHD, one is likely aroacespec

[phoenixkaptain]

I love Stardew Valley and I love the community and I love how we all bond over pixelated chickens like we’re seventy-year-old women bonding over grandchildren- - -

But I get so annoyed with the character hate, like!!! All the characters are great!! All the romance-able characters are great!! I keep getting recommended videos about the bad parts of characters and I just want to scream!!

Penny: lovely. Charming. Kids are a big part of dating her because she teaches kids, of course she’s going to react a bit badly if you hate children. She is trying to teach kids so that they don’t have to have the same life she and her mother do, why do you hate this woman who is just anxious?

Shane: lovely. Charming. Perfect. “He still drinks after we get married, which ruins the whole story” NO. No. Shane is an alcoholic, and a severe one. If he quit cold-turkey, he would fucking die. “Harvey pumped his stomach” HE WOULD DIE. And I don’t care that my husband is messy, he has his own room and I don’t have to go over there!!

Maru: lovely. Charming. She hates working. She loves working on machines. She thinks about machines to build for you to make life easier. She’s adorable. She has a complicated relationship with her brother and I want to help them fix it goddangit because I love fictional siblings.

Elliott: lovely. Charming. An artist. He only leaves his home for like four hours a day. I can really relate to the desire to shave off all of one’s own hair. I feel that in my bones. Also, is friends with Willy and I fucking love Willy so A++

Leah: “she’s a lesbian” She’s fucking bi stop erasing bi rep in Bi Rep the Video Game

Sam: he’s a musician and a skater. This is what the perfect man looks like.

Emily: just the most charming. She has a complicated relationship with her sister because she takes care of her. She works at a saloon, how can someone not love a literal saloon worker? She’s crazy, she’s wild, she’s a flower child, I’m in love with her

Harvey: glasses. Doctor man. Occasionally puts on headphones to not so subtly hint that he doesn’t want to talk to you. This is what the perfect man looks lik-

Abigail: I don’t see a lot of people complain about Abigal, but I’ve seen a few and it just feels like- you guys love Sebastian so much but don’t like Abigail? What type of double standard is this?

Alex: everyone always says not to date him if your playing a female farmer, but honestly, his dialogue only cuts out parts if you play male. Like, he still says he felt different about you from day one even if you’re playing as a girl. The character affected the most by your gender choice in regards to dating Alex is George, and if you’ve already befriended George, he’ll apologize for being mean about your sexuality when he never even said anything mean about your sexuality, which is kind of funny

I never see people complain about Haley or Sebastian, which is fair, because Haley has a cute character arc and Sebastian loves frogs (this is what the perfect man lo-) My only problem is that people praise these two but rag on everyone else when I feel like all the characters are balanced pretty evenly in terms of good-bad traits.

Which trait is which is dependent on the person playing the game anyway, so when someone like me plays, I can’t help but find the characters perfect because I’m very forgiving when it comes to fictional characters’ undesirable traits. I mean, my favourite trait of all is stupidity, pure and unbridled, I’m talking facepalm-inducing, groan-worthy, the type of character people complain about the most; the type of stupid that makes people stop enjoying things. How can I dislike these characters who are cute and a bit awkward and so ready to bed the first hot farmer they come across even when that farmer sifts through their trash and passes out three steps away from their own house and drinks mayonnaise and would eat hay given half the chance. Like come on. They’re all moron-sexual. I can relate to that.

In conclusion: your favourite bachelor and/or bachelorette is as wonderful as you think they are and screw the people who try to tell you otherwise. The characters are great because they appeal to different people. Enjoy the game and enjoy the dating and I swear to God if I see another person say that certain farm layouts are bad because they don’t make enough money- the game doesn’t have a time limit! You can make as much money as you want! You could sell one sap everyday and nothing else and you would still be able to make it to however much money you desire to have. There’s not really a fast way to make ten billion gold, that doesn’t mean that the farm layouts you don’t like are bad and yes I’m ranting just because I love the slopes of the mining farm its layout is chamrjng and picturesque and provides a unique challenge to decorating and placing buildings and it’s actually the BEST farm layout because I just decided so and-!

Stardew Valley is a great game, 10/10 would recommend, and the new update is already great because I found carrot seeds and I like carrots :)

[tacky-optic]

The agony of being able to go through an entire tumblr tag from start to finish.... ANYWAY. we're back with more food for the hat trick niche ft. rare JigZeni pachislot (zeni acknowledges jigen for 0.1 seconds and jigen forgot he was there even tho he's driving)

One thing I like about rarepairs is the flexibility. They're a headcanon/hypothetical breeding ground of potential without having to sacrifice too much of the character's integrity, because they rarely ever talk/barely have a relationship to launchpad off of! yaay :'D

So let's talk about how! Five how's, actually. Might've gotten a bit carried away with this one.

As with anything involving these two, somehow, some way, it always circles right back around to Lupin. It kind of has to, given their shared obsession and/or dedication with the guy. But that can split up into all sorts of scenarios, with some equally varied results (and some exceptions!)

~ Getting together in spite of Lupin

In which Lupin's basically that "I messed up so bad that I turned my girl date gay/my guy date straight" joke but everyone's still queer and it's just his partner hooking up with his rival because of how much he's been frustrating them both lately (and oops the proxy hate sex turns out to be really good) INHALES. Does that even make any sense.

I'm sorry but Lupin fumbling the ball is just so funny to me. It is a bit deeper than that, obviously, and this'd have some weird love triangle logistics because Jigen and Zenigata are still hopelessly in love with Lupin, in their own ways. But dipping into that is always complicated and messy-- JUST HOW WE LIKE IT.

This one definitely has the most jealousy on all fronts. For me, there's always this little asterisk on the JigLup/LuZeni pairings because someone's getting left out. Tell me Zenigata's chest wouldn't ache every time he watches Lupin and Jigen escape, an arm slung over the other's shoulder, cheek to cheek, laughs fading off into the cold, lonely night. Tell me Jigen wouldn't hate waiting in the Fiat for Lupin to lose his dogged hunter, mind wandering as to why he's taking so damn long. He grits his jaw when Lupin finally saunters up, victoriously spinning yet another pair of handcuffs on his pointer finger.

There's a silent rivalry for Lupin's attention that they might not even realize is going on until they blow up at each other about it.

It's difficult to tell if Lupin is being genuine or just messing around, especially for Zenigata. He asks Jigen how he deals with him, how he deals with.... everything. Just everything. The "will they won't they"s and the "does he really mean it"s. How does he stay so collected all the damn time. Jigen says he doesn't have a single friggin' clue. Maybe they make out sloppy style about it. Maybe they keep meeting up to vent, drink, exist in each other's company. During chases, Zenigata keeps dipping after Jigen instead of Lupin more and more often. Lupin's standing on a rooftop Pulp Fiction John Travolta style wondering where the fuck everyone went.

Ohhh jealous Lupin, where have you gone. Where did the tms writers hide your unchecked narcissistic ego. The other points after this support Supportive Lupin in some capacity but this one does not. The slow-burn's done slow-burning but it ain't over yet, baby. There's trouble in paradise and its name is Lupin the Third. He is Not Enjoying This. The two guys that are always looking at him aren't looking at him anymore and that just won't do. Drama ensues.

~ Getting together because of Lupin

Matchmaker Lupin! This is if Lupin's relationships with Jigen and/or Zenigata are more platonic-leaning (which is totally valid). The paired fics in Disreputable Company nail this dynamic perfectly imo. But as far as my own separate take goes....

They're both just so. So emotionally constipated. Intentionally or not, Jigen's been screwed over in the romantic interest department to many times that he's intentionally reduced his acquaintance list to how many fingers he's got on his right hand. Zenigata practically unloaded an entire clip into his foot as far as maintaining healthy family/friend relationships go. Spoilers for Zenigata Keibu, but he 100% knew what he was saying when he told Haruka he'd go back to her once he caught Lupin (I can never be yours), and that Zenigata's supposed to be the freest one! Bound not necessarily to Lupin specifically, but to The Chase forever.

Anyway. Jigen and Zenigata are Isolated. The fact that someone would consider them attractive is so foreign that they'd think its some kind of sick joke or ruse to screw them over instead of anything that could ever be even remotely genuine. They need someone to shove them out of their little self-made paranoia bubbles, and Lupin just loves to meddle in people's businesses. I dunno. I just think he'd think it's funny.

*dramatic finger point* "haha zenigata, you are banging my partner!!" "you... you tricked us into our first date? made the reservations?? th- the tailored suits???" "lu you friggin roller-skated out in a waiter outfit and immediately bought us the most expensive top-shelf booze they offered. not even remotely conspicuous about it" "lol yeah. good times"

He's just happy two of his favorite humans are finally getting laid for once, y'know?

~ Getting together for Lupin

Jigen and Zenigata are forced to team up. Okay, this scenario only goes down if 1) Lupin goes missing or is KO'd for a prolonged period of time or 2) the Truce demands they separate for a while. On top of seeing this play out in other fics, my good friend duke and I have been messing around with (a variant of) this idea for a while now (aka they've been letting me run around in their au Rampant and Unchecked. ty duke).

In ""canon"", if these two were to become at the very least amicable towards each other, this'd be the way to do it. In all honesty (and my personal bias for them aside), I'm genuinely shocked they haven't done this before. Not even an episode, tms? That 4-ish minute block in POTP is all you're giving me? One bar chat in the kobayashi sendoff ep. Okay. I'm not miffed i swear

Like I mentioned in this previous post, the idea of the two of them being able to function together without Lupin as a crutch is upsetting at first. They're used to following him to the Ends of the Earth and they're used to him living rent-free in their heads. They've convinced themselves that they're hopeless on their own, that if he disappeared for good they'd just go back to being two husks vaguely shaped like humans meandering around with no meaningful north star to head towards. Don't get me wrong, if the situation was Bad, Goemon and Fujiko would be devastated, too. But they could move on, albeit with a heavy heart. They're kind of known for heading out on their own should the situation call for it. But Jigen and Zenigata are in for the long-haul for better or for worse, whether they like it or not (they do not).

They're on edge the whole time. Hostile towards each other and passive-aggressive at best to any unfortunate folk they have to interact with on this stupid side quest they've been unwillingly shunted onto together.

It helps immensely that they're both "cut that out" people to anyone but themselves, because they can be that for each other. There's a lot of bickering/conflicts of interest and methodology. "You're being too harsh", "You're one to talk", "You're so goddamn stubborn", "You're such a hypocrite", etc etc. But holy shit they're so freakishly effective together, to a frankly terrifying degree-- maybe even moreso than with Lupin because they're honing the fuck in and nothing else-- no banter or bullshit-- and that's what gets them through to the end. Maybe it helps them come to terms with whatever sort of issues they've got going on, maybe it doesn't. Bare minimum, they come out of this with newfound understanding of each other. At max, uh.... see the point after this next one.

~ Lupin-adjacent

A shift in fixation. The slightest glance, the slightest exchange of eye contact for a second too long, the briefest moment of consideration, and the thoughts start spiraling. This is "in spite of Lupin" without the spite. The urge to know absolutely everything about someone, down to the marrow, just gets shifted a little bit to the right onto another guy. It's just them, in-between heists, with barely any mention of the Chase and anyone else involved therein. Their own little adventure away from the status quo. It's weird at first, sure, but it's new and exciting and real dang nice having things not revolve exclusively around him for once. It's a shot for Jigen to mess with Zenigata for once and the closest thing to a willing vacation Zenigata can get. Win-win! Well. Sorta.

The loneliness, though-- that's what makes itself most prevalent during the in-between times. They really don't have much left outside of the Usual. Forgetting the bare essentials, days blending together, moving around the masses like a ghost.... it's familiar, and it's common, not being sure whether they actually like someone or they're just desperately lonely. Zenigata wallows in it, Jigen shoves it down. They've got images to keep. but getting noticed for what they are is simultaneously the worst thing to ever happen and the highlight of their day. Real wholesome bonding material, ain't it

"I tracked you down for only you". "I dragged you into this issue because I want you here". "You get it".

~ Secret fifth thing

*points at playbohz mag* "lol wouldn't it be funny if zenigata was jigen's type??" *points at y series, miyazaki's zeni, island of assassins, that one manga where they put him in a tshirt, etc* "oh my god zenigata is jigen's type."

It's just a one-night stand lmao. I feel like I see this one a fair bit too, mostly because it's super duper simple and doesn't require a crap-ton of emotional angst setup just to get them into the same bed. It's the above point diluted into, like, an afternoon lmao. It doesn't have a lot of depth by design. Curiosity gets the better of both of them, plain and simple. They get buzzed enough at a bar, skip off to some motel to do what they gotta do one time and never speak of it again.

A part of me likes that, but another part of me in the deep deep recesses of my psyche is hollering "TACKY YOU GOTTA TURN THIS INTO THE SPITE BULLETPOINT!!!"

NO. For this one they get one nice hookup and THAT'S THAT. Sorry not sorry.

Maybe it's easier because there's actually something to decipher. There isn't some esoteric idea of "Lupin the Third, Gentleman Thief"; a mystery man(?) with a million little gadgets and masks and smiles; this unwavering, unpredictable force of chaos that likes taking shiny things from one place and hiding them somewhere else over and over again with no real rhyme or reason.

It's easier to find solace in turning to the guy next to you and going, "what do you think that is?" than in going up to "that" and poking it with a stick in hopes it'll give some sort of answer. "That" won't. "That" likes watching you guys flounder around together too much :)

[chaifootsteps]

The funny thing about stolas is that he really is the most real depiction of NPD I’ve seen in a while. Unintentionally very well written. This show like few others ever do, explores the fact that people with NPD can be so socially inept and incapable of change they can ruin their own life and never fully understand why it happened. A stereotype is that NPD patients are always evil abusers but sometimes like with covert narcissism, it’s complicated. Stolas ticks every last box in the covert category.

He’s not outright a villain but is infuriatingly self centred, and destructive. One example is all of his “I” “me” “my” statements in every situation. Fizz is in danger ‘this will be fun (for me!) I love words!” While it was a good gesture to help Asmodeus, he makes things about himself again. And this made Ozzie mad. And in the latest argument he clearly forced himself to try and empathise with someone but gave up right away when it wasn’t going well and went back to the same I/me/my statements. “I have my answer so you needn’t say any more” “I didn’t know you thought so low of me” and to Stella “I want you out..out of my life” “via you have been the one good thing in my life” Even in a desperate situation where someone he undoubtedly loves, but who he hurt with his lies, is leaving him, he physically can’t stop making it about himself because of this disordered way of thinking. And in a way, that is sad.

It really is a disorder and not just villainy because the person with NPD has grandiosity and callousness, that combination prevents them from seeing a problem in their own behaviour until really pushed. (Who does that sound like) So without help, they end up alone and confused/bewildered by why that is. That reaction of blatant frustration from every single character who speaks with him - via, blitz, Asmodeus, (I don’t feel right including stella but that dinner table scene implies she’s angry he ignores her) is so accurate too.

I mean, I’m by no means a Stella fan but after that confrontation in LooLoo land and him screaming his divorce declaration in the circus, he seemed to think they could just ignore everything despite the ongoing affair, and eat dinner together as a family like nothing is wrong in harvest moon. So at that point I understood her being pissed.

They try force everyone into their version of reality, but it’s exhausting and someone incapable of empathy or change without help (seriously why are all these deeply mentally suffering characters not have a therapy arc - Bojack had several. Many failed. But he had several, because he was messy and had to keep trying.) Viv thinks Stolas is Herb, an innocent victim of homophobia, but he’s actually Joseph Sugarman, dangerously callous and terrifying but soft spoken, mixed with Bojack. Sugarman is a brilliant villain imo.

This is an extremely good point. It's a damn shame it's unintentional, because if it weren't, Stolas would at the very least be in the running for one of the best depictions of NPD ever put to fiction.

NPD isn't Magical Evil Abuser disease -- like you said, it's a legitimate disorder, and it's horribly damaging to the person who has it. People with NPD can both feel and crave love the way Stolas loves Via, but healthy relationships require give and take, and giving doesn't come easily to them. Even when Via's leaving him, the highest praise he can give her is that she's been the only good thing in his life.

It's extremely sad, tragic even. If only Viv understood why.

[deathnguts]

Spare some rabastan lestrange for the needy pls🤲 (i’m the needy and i’d like to know what you think about his dynamic with his brothers)

Sigh, fine I’ll guess I’ll spare some pennies. Thank you for the ask! This is kinda scatter brained and kinda focused on Rodolphus to like parallel/paint how the brothers are together with they are separate and yeah I dunno I threw up

So usually I internalize whatever @florsial (formal apology to you pookie, Im about to act out of line 🫶) says about Rabastan because we tend to agree on things surrounding him but I think we definitely view Rodolphus differently. Which is fine, he barely exists as a character and I think it’s just representative of how we fundamentally view sibling relationships differently. Like I don’t know what it is with me, but I feel the need ti make every sibling relationship I write for either fanfiction or my own work complicated as hell.

So Rodolphus Lestrange. I think he’s a lot like Orion Black. Like he probably even looked up to him kind of when he grew up, (which is kinda funny because Rodolphus probably isn’t much younger than him if at all considering my headcanon that both walburga and Orion were young when they had both their children to kind of get it out of the way) and you can see that in like a lot of how he just is. Hes ‘stoic’ but actually just doesn’t feel a lot of emotions and doesn’t pretend he does, he’s probably like a hair away from being an alcoholic but he doesn’t drink because he knows that (unlike Orion who is very much an alcoholic), hes antisocial and physically annoyed around people because he doesn’t understand why they are as ‘efficient’ as he is and looks down on all of them.

He’s very work oriented, so much so that he doesn’t really have a life outside of it at all. He’s always been the twin the family knew to count on and he always liked having the title so he never had a rebellious stage or any real anger towards his expectations beyond being tired at the end of a particularly grueling work day. I think the only work hes expected to do that he actively doesn’t work towards doing is producing heirs. He doesn’t like kids, he thinks they’re loud and messy and they get in the way of a schedule. It’s like the only thing him and Bellatrix agree on since she also wants nothing to do with kids. (Also quick note on their marriage, I think they pretty much ignore each other and that’s their idea of what they’ll be like forever. When in public together they put on the ‘better than you’ couple mask but in every other scenario they live completely separate lives and actively avoid each other or they’ll find something to fight about.) like the general vibe I could sum him up with is, yes he’s Rabastan’s twin, but everyone who’s ever talked with him assumes he’s like a decade older and just aged well.

So to contrast that with Rabastan, who was never really expected to be anything and never proved anyone wrong, he’s the sort of kid his mother defends no matter what but he father actively tries to forget about. The exact sort Rodolphus looks down on. He can’t help it’s his brother, he’s still below him. And that would be easier to accept if Rabastan stopped proving it over and over. He had to act out in school, he had to move where mother couldn’t find at seventeen, he had to preach to the family that they were ‘immoral’ or whatever, and then he had to preach it to a child, and then he had to marry the child. Like, Rodolphus isn’t a good man by many means, but his lack of feeling or empathy towards people gives him a more head on view of them. And his head on view of his brother is that he’s useless, dramatic, and so desperate to be anything he’ll lie to a little girl to get her to view him that way. And not to say Rodolphus is any better since he witnessed first hand what his brother was doing, he literally walked in on the two hiding away to make out in a corner when regulus was still fifteen and his brother was the same age as himself and just turned back around and never mentioned it to anyone. A truly good person probably would’ve done something. Good thing that’s not what he’s trying to be.

(Also unrelated but I wanna circle back to a point @florsial has that I love about how Rabastan and Regulus are a couple who tries to nuclear and domestic but fails, I feel like that’s a joke on its own especially in this context. The idea that Rodolphus is the nuclear working man so Rabastan must parallel him by being a family man, he just isn’t. Yes he’s closer with his wife than his brother is, and yes that could be something he has over Rodolphus but pretty much no one in their family is proud of Rabastan for his teenage wife and it’s not like their perfect or anything.)

Rodolphus has probably told Rabastan he thinks this only once since he’s usually content to be quiet about it. He probably broke and yelled about how Rabastan will never be anything ro even get his shit together and it won’t matter because no one has hope he will and it hurts because Rodolphus was never given that leeway and it must be fucking nice to have. Rabastan probably doubles back with how much it must be nice for anyone to give a shit about you, to not only exoect things from you but love you even more when you deliver. They probably kept fighting until Rodolphus, as always, gets tired and shuts it down and goes home.

Because even a man who feels nothing has breaking points, especially when Rabastan keeps fucking pushing for one. And that was their relationship a lot of their life, I think. Rabastan desperately wanting to be seen and Rodolphus who is willingly blind. When they were younger that was ok, little kids before hogwarts just played together until father came to take Rodolphus away, growing boys at hogwarts who slowly drift apart when one doubles down on academics and the other found there’s more to do (and not for lack of desperate trying on the seconds behalf.) and then they’re grown up and neither can place what really happened. They’re sure they used to love each other, at least they think so. And they don’t know what happened, because something must have happened. Right?

Yeah I dunno it’s hard to continuously explain but I think what’s tragic about them is that it’s needless. Rabastan could try ti be better and it would not only help his relationships but himself, Rodolphus could try ti be more and he same would happen to him. If either brother were better at being human then they would be better at loving each other. But they’re not, so they can’t.

[absolutebl]

I'd like to specify a request for good Thai shows that just finished. They're my favorite for many reasons, and I also enjoy getting to learn more Thai words.

Good 2023 Thai BL That Recently Finished (to Binge!)

(I actually held off answering this one until a few had ended this week because I didn't have many for 2023. It's not been great year for Thai BL so far IMHO. Now South Korea is KILLING it. So is Japan.. in a different way.)

My School President

9/10

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues.

Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being re-executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? This show was fantastic, it’s only flaw was the singing (and that’s my baggage).

My favourite GMMTV BL offering to date. And yes, I've watched them ALL. (YouTube)

Step By Step

9/10

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one.

This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL.

(Gaga & YouTube & Viki)

La Pluie

9/10

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL.

By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core?

But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10.

I enjoyed it even as it made me think. (iQIYI)

Make a Wish

8/10

PNR (from Sammon: Manner of Death & Triage) about a doctor who can see the dead and strikes a bargain with a wish-granting irreverent tree angel - naturally they fall in love.

Stars Fluke Natouch opposite not-Ohm, but who cares bc Fluke has chemistry with everybody. Once again the Thai afterlife is incredibly bureaucratic but I enjoyed the premise and the unfolding of the story (it’s not predictable but still satisfying and with nice little twist). I like that the doctor is just gay af and has a fag hag bestie and everything.

The cast is excellent but the comedic stylings are too overblown and tonally off. It had sad parts and did make me cry but is ultimately happy with a great sex scene, good smiley kisses, and all the agency. (grey)

Moonlight Chicken

8/10

I enjoyed this complicated little show, even though it’s spectacularly messy gay with lots of shrapnel and authentic pain.

I thought EarthMix turned in their most compelling performance to date. But it was GeminiFourth who stole my heart.

That said, the most interesting central relationship was that of Jim & Li Ming, their father-son angst mixed with evident affection made me tear up.

This was more slice of life than it was BL, but it ended happily so I’m not mad at it. (YouTube)

Never Let Me Go

8/10

Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t).

Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Is it going into permanent rewatch rotation? No, but a solid GMMTV offering. Of GMMTV passing out new series to established pairs this has been the most successful IMHO. PondPhuwin were about 10000x better in this than FUTS (and that's FUTS's fault, not theirs).

It's typically Thai in that its a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. Their Our Skyy 2 follow up is great. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than the usual 12. (YouTube)

Destiny Seeker

8/10

A darn near perfect pulp featuring 3 likable grumpy/sunshine pairings with uncomplicated iterations of enemies to lovers. At least one half of each does a decent amount of pining and there’s good chemistry, classic tropes, and communication rep. It’s fun and full of linguistic jokes.

Sublimely cheesy but a good rainy day offering with tons of rewatch potential. (WeTV)

Bed Friend

8/10 (Triggers include: child abuse, attempted rape, family abuse)

Office frienamies transition a flaming hot one night stand into a f-buddy relationship that is built on a puppy/cat dynamic (and kinks into it at one point). Our puppy is loyal, smitten, and protective with endlessly longing eyes, while our cat is snarky, prickly, and deeply damaged (ALL THE TRIGGERS).

NetJames give lovely high-heat with excellent chemistry and tuned-in performances of surprising depth, unfortunately the story ultimately failed them. Had the show had the strength of its convictions and kept to a tighter, darker, harsher 8 eps it would have been the first high heat to earn a 10/10 from me, but once they fussed with it, it dropped to a solid 8/10.

Could have been great but was overworked. Still if high heat is your thing, this one will not let you down. (YouTube)

Between Us

8/10

Featuring the hugely popular side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again, Win Team (played by Studio Wabi Sabi's most popular, and commercially viable, pair BounPrem - Long Khong, You Never Eat Alone, Seven Project, Even Sun), adaptation of the y-novel Hemp Rope.

It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series.

That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities.

It’s fine. Watch along here. (iQIYI)

This list dated July 16 2023, not responsible for anything that came after, that'll probably be in end of year wrap ups.

[miz-chase]

🍉 🍑 🍋!

🍉 Do you prefer to write short fics or long fics? Multichaptered works or single ones? Why?

I tend to write in the 1.5-3k range because it's long enough to Do Something, but not so long that it consumes me. Usually I struggle with keeping track of multiple stories at the same time, and if my brain has moved on to a different story before I'm done writing the first, it ends up a mess / I get bored

Also I work a job that lets me set my own hours, which means if I'm intensely into a long fic sometimes I sorta.... blow off work. For multiple days at a time. Which can be bad. So again, it's better if I write shorter things. I'm bad at being a grownup.

🍑 If you could make a connection between your favorite character and another work you care about (whether a crossover/fusion or a wonderfully “pretentious” literary reference) what would it be? How would it work?

I'm going to pass over the obvious Jane joins the FBI or B&B get a case in Boston Bones/R&I crossover. Obviously I'd be into that.

Also passing over the Rizzles Gentleman Jack AU. Also too obvious.

So this AU I've been sitting on since before the pandemic, even before I started to get back into crime procedurals, comes from a shuffled mix of NK Jemisen's Broken Earth trilogy, a little hint of Dragon Age (which is just BE with shittier politics lbr), and Meliso Caruso's The Tethered Mage. They all deal with magic as a slave caste under full control by politico-religious authorities. BE & TTM especially deals with the complicated, often hostile 1-on-1 bond between magic users and their Guardian/Falconer controller. Mages are a living tool used by their Guardians to enforce law, solve crimes, whatever. Can you see where this is going?

I'm interested in the tension of Booth and Jane using Brennan and Maura as tool-object-persons. Having authority over them, directing their talents, while also polite-society-pretending the relationship is consensual and equal. Meanwhile Brennan and Maura to a degree don't care / aren't putting up a fight / are happy to have a bond / just want to get out and do the work. They share an arguably autistic-flavored focus on doing their science, such that they care more about doing the work well than they care about the political system they are feeding, and how they are being used. How do you build a functional (or even healthy?) partnership when power is unequally distributed? How do friendly, even flirty, social interactions play out between the controller and the controlled? How do you confront "I love you but I could never free you. It's not safe for you or me."?

I like that it takes an undertone, unaddressed dynamic from the source material and amplifies it to an extreme. It's fucked up and messy and discomforting, that's what makes it fun >:3c

(usually it ends with the controlled escaping and making their own way, which forces the controller to confront their feelings and the system they're upholding and then they fight to support the mage revolution blah blah, you know, high fantasy tropes)

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

I'm gonna go with.... praise kink/praise-based dom. "You can take it." "You're so good for me" etc. Pushing extremes while being affectionate and supportive and maybe a little condescending, rather than hostile or degrading, is fun to play with!

ALSO! Bad sex!! It's fun, its funny, it's real. Let them be messy disasters, let them work through shame and trying too hard to be perfect and the mishaps of life

[joculatrixster]

"ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned." You can't say Scott is the only one villainized in the same breath as admitting you haven't seen content where other CCs get villainized by the audience.

Many of the *exact same people* who criticize Scott have also come out with posts talking about how uncomfortable Sausage makes them, some of them specifically citing his behavior toward Jimmy in SOS. Of course, I can't say that's true for everyone in fandom who criticizes Scott, but in my experience people critical of Scott are critical of others, too, regardless of their sexuality. Saying the criticism is fueled by homophobia doesn't track when the people criticizing Scott are also criticizing straight CCs/characters for very similar things.

Everyone has a different fandom experience based on what circles/fan archives/discussion boards they're on, and even on the same site people can have different experiences because of stuff like algorithms and who you're following. IIRC I have seen a fic where Grian, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie were all siblings and Lizzie called out Grian and Joel for not being good brothers to Jimmy, while the only fic I've seen with Scott being "villainized" was a short ficlet where he did something small out of jealousy that didn't have any long term effects. I have actually gone *looking* for toxic FH fanfic and not found any. (I like complicated messy relationship story lines, so I feel like toxic FH in fic form would be fun to read.) Obviously this has not been your experience, but you seem to be treating your fandom experience as if it's the same for everyone else, which it's not.

its nnot just my experience when multiple multiple ppl have spoken out about how prominent it is specifically for scott again if its just a small issue id understand but the normalization is insane, ive seen a fic where scott turns jimmy into his pet doll and he needs to be saved from his clutches. ive read a gic where scott kills pearl and wants to destroy the entire world and has jimmy as his pet who he promised to keep as long as he stayed uner his thumb. ive read a fic where scott just leaves jimmy at the alter and pearl hunts him down and lashes out violently at him and we r meant to side w pearl for attacking him bc he didnt feel bad for poor jimmy. these were not obscure fics or small fics. u seem to assume an issue others r clearly pointing out theyve seen way more than others is only something some fridnge guy is complaining about instead of perhaps something UVE missed hm? uve seen 1 fic where joel and grian r kinda shitty to jimmy and get called out ive read multiple fics where scott breaks down jimmy as a person and needs to be saved from him, ive seen multiple posts calling irl scott smajor am abuser bc of one clip, ive seen pll say jimmy deadass is uncomfortable w FH and doesnt like scott which is just weird ass behavior. yes sausage gets flack i belive this but i haven't seen a shit ton of fics making sausage break jimmy soan mentally then get killed or punished in the end for being an irredeemable abuser. ive seen multiple of that for scott or just seeing scott in general in a veryyy negative light which is clearly due to an unfavorable interpretation of his character. which is fine, but name three fics where grian is intpreted that unfavorably w over 100 kueos. no seriously show me the fics where grian dies in the 3nd and its a thing everyone is happy about in the ficand they do not mourn him at all bc they hated him. go on!

its funny how ur orignal anon nitpicked my post and ur reply again nitpicks one part of a wider post as if the point i said was even what ur replyin to, im talking fandom space but even if i wasnt im talking life series fandom while i do mention oli thats just to ponnt out that One scott clip is not Just a scott thing, girl. vilinized in life series aka what i tagged, dont be stupid here its literally just making u look stupid 😭i used grian as an example bc hes someone who acts similar in the space i was criticizing and not sausage bc i am aware things may be different in a DIFFERENT context. ur majorlyyyy derialing and not rlly proving me wrong ur just proving that u dont rlly get what im saying which is fine but also all ur points r just...not disproving anything l. ur example is 1 grian and joel being criticized in one(1) fic(which is not what vilianized even means dude but hey ill give u this u did find one somewhat grian neg fic!) and 2 a guy not even in the fandom i tagged. girl...

[theclearblue]

Is it bad that I feel personally victimised by WCI or am I just being dramatic?

I don't think so anon, I think the themes of family in WCI are some of the most personal and nuanced Oda has ever done and while tragic in so many ways, I think results in the best way of conveying how powerful found family is but also how someone can have complicated feelings towards their blood family.

Throughout all of One Piece, you can see this through line of found family and how blood relations isn't what matters in who you consider family (The ASL brothers, Bellemere and Nojiko for Nami, Kuina for Zoro, Zeff for Sanji, Saul for Robin, Tom and Iceburg for Franky, and while not a strawhat, Corazon and Law deeply affected me as well). This is obviously a trope Oda has liked writing for a long time and one he does well, but (with somewhat the exception of Marineford/Post-War arc with Whitebeard and Ace), WCI is the first time he really dives into these themes of what family is, and what I really appreciated, how messy it can be.

(I uhhh wrote a lot after the cut so be prepared for that)

And it's not just Sanji in this arc (I'll get to him though don't worry), from Germa, from the Big Mom Pirates, and the Firetank Pirates, so many characters are acting as narrative foils to Sanji and dealing with family related trauma, and responding to it differently. The ones that really got me were Pudding and Katakuri though, and they're pretty similar to each other as well. I've talked a little bit about Pudding already here so I'll talk a bit more about Katakuri instead, but it hit me really hard when he made a temple for himself, and he lets the rumors fly about "his back has never touched the ground, he's praying to a god of war, no one has seen him eat" and it's just. Him laying on his back, eating donuts happily. And the scene is kind of silly and funny right, but I kid you not my New Year's resolution this year was to just, try to be more comfortable in my living room/kitchen without thinking everyone is going to judge me for, what? Eating? Watching a show I like? Completely normal things, but if you've ever grown up in a house where just, EVERYTHING you do is picked apart and criticized by family, it's easier to just shut yourself away in a room and hide it. And isn't that tragic? Katakuri projecting this image of strength that his family asks of him so much that he feels he has to hide completely normal things like lying down and eating? I could go even deeper into this character but this is just one example of a character's complicated relationship with his family, where he hides so much of himself for them, but also it stemming from a place of love after what happened to Brulee when they were kids.

And now to talk about Sanji. Ohhhh where do I even start with this guy. As kind of a sidenote, if you've seen any of my posts from Thriller Bark through Punk Hazard, I was really struggling to like Sanji as a character and I didn't make that a secret. Which was upsetting to me because, from Baratie-Enies Lobby (and really good moments at the end of Thriller Bark and Saoboady) he was a favorite of mine! And at times I thought his character was done pretty dirty where he was stripped down to a singular gag and Oda leaned into it way way way too hard. But it's immensely satisfying to me to see all the little seeds Oda planted for so many years come to fruition in Zou and WCI, to the point I think he's turned from being the most one note strawhat to the most nuanced and layered in the span of a singular saga. And that was incredible to see.

I think what really captivated me about Sanji from the beginning were how strong and rigid his convictions are, and that even though he's kind of a rude brat (I say that with love lol), he's so undeniably kind, even to a fault. And with his first backstory we see how a lot of his rigid rules he's made for himself come from, it's from Zeff. He doesn't hit women, he'll feed anyone who's hungry no matter what, and he learns to fight to protect people he cares about, but he isn't really a fighter in the same way Luffy and Zoro are, and that's made clear in his desire to protect his hands in a fight so that he can do what he really loves, and that's to cook. A lot of what makes Sanji who he is today is shown here, but Oda was smart in showing aspects of Sanji that clearly don't stem from Zeff without telling the audience why for the longest time.

He shares the dream of the All Blue with Zeff, but where did it come from? Zeff is kind of similar where he has this hard exterior but underneath is kind as well, but it's taken to another level with Sanji where it becomes self sacrificial. Throwing himself down the mountain on Drum Island, taking the lightning bolts from Enel for Nami and Usopp on Skypeia, boarding the water train alone to try and get to Robin, and most prominently, at least for me, him trying to take Luffy's pain at the end of Thriller Bark instead of Zoro, where he very clearly places more value on Zoro's dream and life than his own. That was the moment to me that made me really realize he does not see value in himself, unless he's providing something he deems useful. And if the situation calls for it, he'll throw his life and dream away if that makes him "useful" not realizing that the crew don't see him as this dispensable thing like he sees himself.

And all of Sanji's strengths and flaws as a character just come to make this perfect storm and mess that is Whole Cake Island. And the kindness that is Sanji's most definitive trait is so clearly not in this family, at least not seen at first. His brothers are made to have no zero empathy and beat down on him constantly, verbally and physically, and Judge just watches and doesn't care, eventually just hides Sanji in a cell and pretends he's dead. Because he was physically weaker and human. And yet he continues to cook because he loves doing it, he remembers his mother's kindness, and his dream of the all blue is formed in a small dark room and just. This got to me big time. Not to get too personal but the set of expectations put onto Sanji by his family, ones he can never live up to and finding passion in something his family finds to be worthless and a waste of time. Finding an escape in books and finding his dream there even though everything around him is hell. Slowly realizing the extent of cruelty that his father will go to as he grows up. Very unfortunately for me this might be the most relatable character I have ever come across in regards to my own experiences. I'm someone to voice my thoughts on things even if nobody else cares (hence why I've been liveblogging on here since Drum Island I think lmao) but while watching Sanji's backstory it affected me like nothing else ever has. It's not even something that made me cry really, I was just in shock after watching it for awhile. And Reiju saying to Sanji, "There are people out there who will accept you for who you are, you need to get out of here" which is so similar to what Saul said to Robin and even similar to what one of my sisters said to me growing up. Yeah. I also felt personally victimized by Whole Cake Island lmao.

But the end result of Sanji's arc is so beautiful and amazing. Sanji putting on this act of looking down on Luffy, and once again trying to sacrifice himself to protect those that he cares about, but Luffy just cuts through the bullshit because he knows that isn't really Sanji talking in that fight. Luffy's speech as Sanji is being driven away where he says that he can't become the pirate king without him by his side. This isn't an original thought but Sanji and Zoro both kind of represent different aspects of Luffy's dreams. Zoro with a seemingly impossible ideal and putting 100% of yourself into it. "I will become the greatest swordsman." "I will become the pirate king." But Sanji's dream of finding the All Blue reflects Luffy's dream of finding the One Piece. They both don't know if either of those things are even real (the audience at this point knows the one piece is real, but to my knowledge and where I'm at, Luffy doesn't). Yet there's this childlike wonder they both have about these dreams, because, what if it is real? Luffy knows that Sanji is irreplaceable because of the ideals that they share, not because of what Sanji can provide or be "useful" as.

It takes so much for Sanji to go running back to Luffy, and even when he does, he obviously gets insecure again and starts listing off reasons why he isn't worthy enough to go back to the Sunny and to the crew. And God is it satisfying to see Luffy absolutely rock his shit for saying that and asking him to just SAY what he really wants. And Sanji breaking down and saying how much he misses the Sunny and the crew and also airing out how he feels backed into a corner and doesn't know the way out, that he wants to help his family even though he doesn't consider them family and he KNOWS it doesn't make sense, he is being kind to a fault again. But Luffy smiling at him and saying "Well, that's just how you are. Let's go crash the wedding." That's when I started sobbing lmao, because there is such unconditional love and kindness in that statement that Sanji has so desperately needed ever since his mother died. Someone who just accepts him and all his faults wholeheartedly, and is that not the most beautiful representation of family??? His relationship with his blood family is so messy and complicated and full of mixed feelings(and that's very common), but his feelings about Zeff and Luffy and the rest of the strawhats are so clearly full of adoration and unconditional love for them, and they feel that same love for him as well! How lucky all of them are where they found their people, and how everyone else in this world has that opportunity to find the space and people they truly belong to, not tied down by blood. Whole Cake Island's themes on family were so well done and also fundamentally changed me as a person I think.

[quidfree]

hi, i just finished re-reading TLAAO (now going to the sequel) and i have a few questions lingering if you are willing to answer? (how many years too late i am?)

first of all, i love TLAAO. it's my favorite shouto-centric and my favorite todobaku (it might be my favorite bnha fanfic ever actually but there's some tough competition with your other fics specially that with the BL setting that is hilarious). you get their characters and their dynamic so so so so so well. i really like how you write them, specially shouto. i won't say anything on how he is usually characterized but your characterization is really great. it seems so very close to canon but a lot more layered. you bring more dimensions to his character, to how he feels and to how he thinks, to how he reacts to people, to relationships, and specially to his work. you build him up a lot from the canon material. dare i say he feels more like a fully realized character than in the animanga? it's true. i really like his introspectiveness and how he's perceptive and obtuse at the same time and how he thinks best in his feet but is so intelligent and how he is mostly nice but not always and difficult and so stubborn but very straightforward and honest although emotionally messy and so ambitious too. i like how his feelings are complicated, his thoughts are complicated, his relationships are complicated. oh, and i love that you let him adopt a cat!

you write todobaku's relationship in a way that actually feels authentic to both characters, and also very interesting, and messy, and so so so compelling. i like how compatible they are in a lot of ways, and their back-and-forth, and how in sync they fight, but i also really like that it's shown that it's difficult anyhow, because misunderstandings happen, because they are both complicated, with a lot of baggage and insecurities and defense mechanisms that overlap; and i like how adult, mature their relationship is. they are still very young, but they aren't teenagers anymore. their relationship development feels really grounded.

you write hawks so well too, although it seems like shouto doesn't get along too well with him, and just fine, which is understandable as their personalities don't clash that well and, well, the whole hawksendeavor and hawksdabitouya dynamics. i also love how much of camie you have included. she's so entertaining and how todobaku reacts to her is funny. i really like that they are close! your writing of momo is also really good as well. it made me appreciate her more and i already liked her a lot! i like your villains too, from godzilla (silly in such a good way) to "twilight" (ditto) to kajiya (mastermind) to kamiya (interesting quirk) and how you write hero work is really interesting.

don't worry about this being 'late', it's actually a real pleasure to hear people still enjoying things i wrote years ago (although i have to fight the itch to constantly edit my older works just a little).

i'm glad you like 'my' shouto, who is near and dear to my heart to write, and that the groundedness comes across. of course i'm always happy to hear people like the supporting cast, because i think having more than just the main couple really enriches the story and (importantly) is very fun for me to write. and thanks for the villain love!!

[cosmos-daughter]

A detailed psychological analysis of Leon Kennedy and Aeon: the agent's endless struggle with guilt and dysfunctional romance with Ada Wong.

The reason why I decided to write this is because I have seen some complaints about Leon apparently "flirting" with someone in the DI movie (not sure who or if he even does, since it's not out yet as I write this) and accusing him of being out of character because of that. I was confused of why were people suddenly acting as if Leon being flirty with women was something new, surprising or unexpected, since that's a character trait of his ever since 2004.

Then, I finally got the ✨context✨ and apparently, the reason why they are upset over this is actually because of the beautiful spy in red, Ada Wong.

It seems the cause of people's frustration is that they expected Leon's flirty behaviour with other women to be gone on the events that are set after Resident Evil 6 in the timeline, since his feelings for Ada were finally adressed in that game. And naturally, many assumed they'd be in a relationship in a recent timeline, and therefore are treating this as a case of infidelity.

Seeing that made me realize that some people, usually fans that are rather new to the franchise and joined the fandom after the remakes, don't quite understand what Leon and Ada actually have going on or what they mean to each other. It is much, much more complicated and deep than it actually seems, and I want to talk about it in detail here while also providing some canon information to prove the points I make.

CW: mentions of alcoholism, depression and suicidal ideation.

─

Leon and Ada’s dynamic is a funny little thing. Talk about an dysfunctional, unstable relationship. It is definitely not the healthiest. What they have going on is messy and complicated, sure, but that's what makes it entertaining for us, viewers, and what makes Aeon a appealing ship that many love, even if watching them can also be quite frustrating at times. They are the true meaning of star-crossed lovers -- two people who love each other but aren’t able to be together, a love that’s doomed from the start -- and that's why their relationship has always been presented and described as complicated.

Take a look at this file from Resident Evil 6:

Following their escape, their paths would cross from time to time, Leon as a U.S. government operative and Ada as a spy. Ada makes no qualms about using Leon when it suits her needs, but Leon is loath to bring himself to be done with her. They don't consider each other enemies, but it's hard to tell how they feel for each other. Complicated is the word that aptly summarizes their relationship. (Leon and Ada)

That makes two things clear: Leon has feelings for Ada, and he’s also a hopeless romantic. He knows when she’s using him, he’s not stupid, but he can’t and doesn’t want to let go of her. Anyone can see that, each time they interact you can sense Leon’s hesitancy through the screen, he always seems conflicted, wary, as if going through a dilemma of “which one is more important: love or duty?", because even if she’s the woman he loves, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s shady and has worked for the opposite side before -- for the people that produce bioweapons -- and Leon's determination to keep fighting despite of how exhausted he is comes precisely from his hatred of people who make use of bioweapons and his desire to end this for good. Loving her or not, as long as he's not sure of what her true intentions are, he can't fully trust her. He won’t risk getting innocent people hurt, after all, that’s what he fights for: to protect them. He'd do anything to stop something like Raccoon City from ever happening again. It's the only thing he has. The only part of his old self -- of the Leon that was lost after the outbreak -- that still lives is his urge to protect. Serve and protect.

Krauser: What is it that you fight for, comrade? Leon: My past, I suppose. (Optional dialogue from original RE4)

In RE6, he protects Ada from Chris and Helena when they try to kill her, but he’s not sure himself if she’s innocent or not. His uncertainty becomes even clearer during the final scene before they part ways again, when he asks her: “What are you? Why are you helping us?”. Again, he’s not sure of what she wants, whose side she’s on, why she's doing what she does, what he means to her, or anything at all. But even if confused and probably curious, he doesn’t go after her for answers when Helena tells him to. And since RE6 takes place after Damnation (both are in 2012, but the events of RE6 starts in december), I’d say that’s enough evidence that they are not in a relationship at that time, even if they got intimate at some point (also the fact that he shamelessly flirts with Helena at the beginning of the game and he would never if he was in a relationship, since loyalty is a big thing of Leon's character too).

What I make up of their relationship from the content they give us and what they’ve been hinting since their first appearance in 1998 is that they’re less than lovers, but definitely more than friends, if you could even call them that. I imagine they have that kind of relationship that sometimes, Ada shows up at Leon’s doorsteps at night after a long time of not hearing from each other and they both missed each other a lot and are also undeniably attracted to each other, so maybe they do sleep together and might even share a very romantic, vulnerable moment (that they never really speak of later) and when Leon wakes up in the morning, her side of the bed is already empty. I think they have the physical, but not emotional intimacy, and if they both know how they feel about that deep down, it doesn't matter -- neither of them have the luxury of doing feelings. They don’t belong to each other and are free to do as they please, but none of them plan on moving on from each other. It’s just two screwed up humans afraid of commitment loving each other messily.

Poetically tragic, quite Shakespeare-esque.

It's also important to mention the reason why I believe Leon accepts to be in a "relationship" like this one even if he knows it's not good for him and yearns for more (even if he doesn't admit it -- he's a big softie: emotional, romantic, loves people and company, of course he wants more than that). I'd say the reason it’s not only because he loves her -- even if that's great part of it -- but also because he doesn't think himself worthy of having a loving, stable relationship. Leon is an alcoholic who suffers from depression, traumatized, barely has any free time to rest and also happens to work in the most dangerous job in the world that could get him killed anytime. So... he's not very boyfriend material. He would most likely spent the entire time thinking the other person deserves better, deserves someone present in their life and who can give them the love and attention they deserve. And with Ada, he’s able to fulfill his emotional and physical needs without having the responsibility of having an actual relationship, and without hurting anyone's feelings, because Ada doesn’t expect more from him too. They both know they can't go there. A romantic relationship is probably something he no longer knows how to deal with, ever since his life has changed so drastically. Hell, he can barely take care of himself. So he's fine with the little that Ada gives him (or at least he pretends), he'll accept whichever parts of her she'll allows him to have. He knows that she’ll never be his, so he has to be fine with having her only for a night. It's no news that Leon Scott Kennedy is the master of self-sabotage, no one is more cruel to him than himself. After all, everything in his life is a mess, his love life would hardly be any different.

Now here comes my favorite part to talk about and the main point: Leon's insecurity regarding of being unworthy of love and peace, originates from his survivor's guilt issues -- his trauma. I always talk about how cruel and visceral Leon’s case of survivor's guilt is, because it's part the character's essence, you can't have Leon without it. That thing is tied to him. It's a stain on his soul. It will always be with him, even if he manages to heal himself one day. Since that night in Raccoon City happened, he lives with an immeasurable amount of guilt regarding every single person that he "failed" to save and protect, knowing they're gone while he’s still alive and breathing is too much for him and that results in a worrisome self-destructive behaviour where he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy or a normal life, a break from the horrors. No, he needs to live the rest of his life miserably, fighting incessantly against bioweapons until his last breath, because this is the very least he can do to ‘make amends’ to everyone he ‘failed’ to save. He holds into his failure like it's a hand. A workaholic fueled by guilt and grief.

(EDIT: Leon's voice actor, Matthew Mercer, pretty much confirmed this by saying that Leon holds himself accountable for every death that happens on his watch even if it's out of his control in a interview for the Death Island movie. I'm aware he's the voice actor and not the writer, but he understands his character perfectly, so I find that worthy of mentioning).

Then we have Resident Evil: Damnation only further proving his crystal clear guilt issues. When Leon stops Alexander from shooting himself, these are his words to the man:

“The option of taking our own lives no longer belongs to us. Once we start using these, we owe it to the people who died alongside us, we have to continue living.”

This whole interaction, Leon stopping a man from killing himself and his words hits different when you remember that in the original RE2 Leon actually considered doing the same, and the only reason he didn’t was because to protect Sherry and make sure she was safe (this part doesn’t make too much sense in the remake since Leon doesn’t meet her until the last minutes of the game, but we’re referring to the original events here). The reason why Leon accepted to work for the government was also to ensure they would keep Sherry safe, allow her to live a normal life and not experiment on her (a promise they clearly did not keep but anyway...), even if we all know he didn't have a choice. He still did it all of that for a girl he barely knew. Self sacrifice is a vice of his just as much as alcohol.

"To tell you the truth, I even thought about ending it -- several times, actually -- with just a quick bullet to the head. But I didn't give up. Sherry needed me. She was a 10-year-old girl thrown into a hellish environment with monsters after her, so I had to pull myself together for her sake. She was our reason for not giving up - especially for Claire.” (Leon and the Raccon City Incident)

He feels obligated to continue this loop of constantly sacrificing his own mental health and safety in this miserable and dangerous life of fighting against bioweapons for that is what he owes to his fallen comrades and innocent victims of bioterrorism. Consequently, he also gives away his chances of having a normal relationship, living like a normal person and also the possibility of having a family in the future. He’s seen drinking a lot in Damnation -- including during the day, alone in his room, I think that’s pretty self explanatory.

Then we have Vendetta -- the peak of Leon's depression -- where we watch as he drowns himself in alcohol even more during a mental breakdown after losing his whole team being the only survivor, again. More people dead at his commands, following his words, more people dead because he can't be the super-hero he wishes he was, all that while he still breathes and gets to see another day. Leon doesn't have a lot of stability in his life, he's loses people important to him all the time, yet he does not get any used to it.

He questions if living is really worth it in the movie:

“I keep fighting... and fighting and fighting, and instead of seeing an end to this shit, it just keep getting worse. Is this what my life is supposed to be? Fighting the living dead and bastards that make them? What's the point of it all?”

He’s clearly reached his limit and is beyond exhausted, he knows it’s not fair to him and he shouldn’t have to live like this, he’s desperate for a little bit of normalcy, yet he still goes back to fight. He can't run away from duty, and he sure as hell can’t turn a blind eye to bioterrorism, no matter how tired he is. Vendetta is set after RE6, so it’s clear that his relationship hasn’t evolved since then, and it seems that it's been a while since they last saw each other, maybe even years, and maybe that also adds on the reasons why Leon snapped, since Ada is the closest to a constant he's had in his life, the only thing he can always count to come back to him, even if he doesn't knows when.

It’s not hard to believe a man like that would avoid a serious relationship at any costs. But doing that is not easy for him, after all, Leon is very emotional and so fucking lonely and touch-starved, he wants the love, even if he doesn’t think he deserves it. While I have no canon evidence about this, I can see him being the type who gets one-night stands once in a while when he’s feeling too alone and in need for a distraction and relief, I imagine that he feels a little needed and loved when he’s touching and being touched by another person, even if it’s only for the night. But he refuses to emotionally connect with the person, because his heart belongs to another and because he doesn't want to risk anyone falling for him; because something else we know about him is that he has emotional responsability and maturity, he thinks of people's feelings, considers them, and takes it very seriously.

I see Leon’s womanizer behaviour as a coping mechanism for his loneliness and his own way to lighten the mood and make those women not panic during the situation of absolute chaos and danger they're usually in with him. It's also simply because he likes women, of course, I'm not denying that, but his flirting never bothered me because of how respectful he is -- he never takes it too far or make them uncomfortable by being innapropriate (I mean, there's a reason why all the women he flirts with like Helena and Hunnigan adore him, even if not in that way, they all like him a lot as a friend). And we can tell he's not planning on making them fall in love with him by the way he only flirts hardcore with the strong-type of women whom he knows won't fall for him easily like that, and with the softer-type who might actually have a crush on him (like Ashley or Manuela) he's much more careful, mostly friendly -- ocasionally teasing and a little light flirting too, of course, but that's just his way of being playful and nice. Leon is a very charismatic and charmful man by nature, what can he do about it?

So, considering all of this, we can see why having a relationship is not on Leon's to-do-list. No person in their right mind would subject themselves to be in a relationship in which your partner is completely secretive about their work life and having to live with the anxiety of going to sleep at night not knowing if he’s still alive when he leaves for his missions; people want a relationship for security, stability, reassurance, comfort and peace, not to be tormented. And with Ada, he doesn’t need to worry about any of that. She isn’t going to ask him questions about his work nor is she going to stay up at night worrying if he’s going to come back home, because they don’t have that kind of relationship. And it's not that Leon would hate having that kind of relationship -- especially with her -- it's the opposite. He secretly craves it. I think there's nothing he'd love more than laying with the person he loves on his arms at the end of a long day, and seeing their face lit by the sunlight in the morning, or simply doing the typical clingy couple things, the casual affection; but he has a job to do and he knows he can't have both.

I don’t agree with the usage of the word ‘toxic’ to define his relationship with Ada, because that makes her seem like a horrible person when it’s not the case; none of them is forcing the other into this relationship, they both just fall in with it because they know that this is the closest to a romantic relationship that people like them can afford to have. And because this relationship isn't entirely bad for them, we don't know much about Ada, unfortunately, but we know enough about Leon to have a guess that what he has with her is enough to provide him at least a little bit of comfort, and God knows he needs it.

Even if we don't have enough content of her, her feelings, traumas and motivations to write a fully detailed essay, we know that even if she doesn't show it like he does, she loves Leon too. The difference is that she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve like he does. And yes -- she uses him to reach her own goals during her missions, always plays little games with him, but I believe the latter is part of a façade (I'll get into this later), and she never did anything to hurt him or put him in danger. She’s a focused, calculative woman who will play dirty to get what she wants, yet she often goes out of her way to help Leon every time he’s in trouble instead of considering it a nuisance. Coming from someone like her, that means a lot. She’s the one who throws him the rocket launcher in RE2 during the fight against Nemesis, she’s the one who stops Krauser from killing him in RE4 (original, in the remake it is Luis' doing), she also goes against Wesker’s orders to keep him safe, and helps him many times in RE6 and Damnation too. Ada is always watching him from the shadows and would never let anyone harm him, no matter what. Not to mention, the way she trusts Leon becomes evident with how she always lowers her guard around him in a way you never see her doing with anyone else -- like in that choking scene from the original RE4, no other person would be able to catch her off guard like that. She's completely at ease around him.

Something else I noticed is how Ada only acts cool when in front of him. In the original RE4 you can see how she puts that unbothered, cool and mysterious woman show on when face-to-face with him, but as soon as he isn't watching her, the façade drops and she looks at him as if he's the most amazing person in the world, she has the biggest heart eyes for him, even if she doesn't let him see it. I believe the only scene she showed it to him is when he saves her from Saddler and asks her if she's okay, to which she replies with a weak "I've been better", and gives him the softest smile ever. There is so much tenderness in that look she gave him. Also, the way she talks about him: in the original Separate Ways she compliments his skills and intelligence and refers to him as "practically a genius"; she admires and respects him immensely, even if she'd never say that to his face.

My point with this is that the reason why she does that, the reason why Ada doesn’t give too much for Leon, is because she knows it’s just going to make things more difficult for both of them. After all, leaving would be much harder after hearing a “I love you”, after making promises. They both know how they feel, too, so there is no need for words. As I said before, their love isn’t exactly the healthiest and probably is something that hurts them both, but as long as they can see each other again, they can endure the pain that comes with the separation -- because like Leon said himself in RE4, “she’s like a part of me that I can’t let go”

But no matter how much they love each other, in the end, Leon and Ada are always meant to go to their separate ways.

[medi-melancholy]

i only know very vague things about the ER dlc from skimming tvtropes and glancing at twitter and looking up some music and cutscenes, but here's my takeaways so far, mostly about Best Worst Boy

miquella in the running for one of the best soulsborne characters ever oh my GOD i love his whole everything. what a fun fascinating fucked up lil guy. what a good year for beautiful awful well-intentioned extremists and their plans for utopia. it's impossible to say whether he's a Good person or Bad person but you can't deny he does both good and bad. at the very least his intentions and goals come from a good place but his methods and values are uhhhhhhhhh something else. i love it!

i'm seeing people very upset that the version of miq they had in their heads is ruined forever so they're gonna ignore canon and like. sorry i guess! but the foundations for what he's really like were always there, and the new revelations about his actions are interesting and also in line

miq and malenia's relationship isn't any less valuable and malenia isn't any less badass ok? ok. calm down lol

enjoyers of pure and helpless miq who makes for a pretty victim or damsel in distress can still keep that image, because, hey, playing that role was also within his plans, it seems! He Has The Range!

also it's not a bad thing that we see a physically older/more mature version of miq! that's a win-win tbfh! and has some fascinating implications to me, from an outside perspective without all the info--did he find a way to break his curse, even if only temporarily?? is it tied to him nearly entirely reaching godhood?? i think it's neat and he looks gorgeous! it's not like everybody's gotta throw all their fanart away now, again, calm down

mohg isn't instantly some innocent victim in all this nowwwwww aaaaaaaaaaa he was still a really fucked up dude, and idk if we even know exactly how deep miq's charms over him went, maybe miq took advantage of some feelings or urges that were already there, maybe mohg's preexisting traits and personality made him do even more things than what miq himself was expecting, idk! there's room for interpretation and regardless he's still a fascinating monster of a guy, and i love having ansbach for perspective

this fucking family tree keeps getting BIGGER because so many fuckers got wiped from history because no one fucking gets along. it's so funny to me

i sure as shit wasn't expecting radahn to come back or be relevant in any way but yknow i do kinda dig it! he's a great and iconic character. yet i am seeing lots of complaints about that too lmao,, ER at its core was always based around and focused on That Big Goddamn Family so having things circle back around to figures already involved in things makes sense imo

but also GODWYN IS DEAD GODWYN IS VERY VERY DEAD GODWYN IS BEYOND DEAD i was hoping for some more info about him at the very least and maybe there's some i haven't heard about myself yet but holy shit ok he wasn't gonna have a physical appearance or be a boss or anything, but i'm seeing a ton of people disappointed that isn't exactly what happened

so what if things are messy and complicated and fucked up and squicky all over, welcome to soulsborne, like, idk what to tell you, i'm still so baffled by people who are shocked and appalled by dark or unusual content in elden ring and don't wanna talk about it or acknowledge it. where did yall come from???? did you play des or ds or bloodborne or even sekiro?? ? ?? ?????

i also saw some people complaining about the tragic/hopeless/depressing/upsetting quest or story parts and i'm so ???????????? seriously does no one realize what they're playing, why does this feel like an ER exclusive problem for from games?

music is great as ever i don't care what anyone says

messmer is cool as hell and super interesting and i can't wait to read up on him even more. i loooove his voice and just, how he looks and moves. he has a ton of personality and presence about him

leda what is wrong with you. i love you so much girl

happy pride month! 🥳

also i saw this phrase uttered along the way and i'm kind of obsessed with it lmao

[cream-and-tea]

1, 2, 3, 18, 19, 21, 53, 54 for your beloved Pallas, please!

~ Morri (@/memento-morri-writes)

hi morri and thank you so much for the opportunity to ramble about my wretched evil little beast <3 (questions from here!)

What’s the lie your character says most often?

definitely some variation of “i don’t care/ it doesn’t matter to me” because there’s a v high chance they do care they actually care a lot it does matter to them they want to scream and cry and throw up about it. pallas plays at being very detached and their massive amount of dissociation goes a long way towards furthering that, but in reality they often get REALLY intense about/overly invested in things. they’ve just gotten good at quashing that impulse over the years.

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend���?

VERY STRICTLY to say the least. actually thinking on it i don’t think pallas calls anyone a friend internally through narration or externally in dialogue in allll of the text that’s been written for lay me down so far (not even agnes gets classified as a friend because what they feel about agnes is so much weirder than that lmao they could never think about her in such simple terms). they hate being Known and Perceived in any way and they also hate acknowledging that they want other people in their life. the one person they’d probably uncritically call a friend is nina and they try their best to never ever ever EVER think about nina bc of The Horrors. so.

How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

this is a funny one bc pallas is so ungodly bad at processing their own emotions that i don’t think they’re fully able to recognize when they’re being genuine and when they’re not. that being said they generally do not do well showing emotion around others bc they hate having any feelings at all (no matter how good or bad) and so they violently repress whenever they realize that’s what’s happening. to be honest i think the audience will probably understand pallas’s emotions way better than pallas does that’s just how disconnected they r like i cannot stress enough how pallas does not want to be here existing and interacting with people pallas wants to be cryogenically frozen then never unthawed or perhaps turned into some kind of statue.

Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

um. the tldr is that It’s Complicated.

the long answer is that pallas’s relationship to love as a concept was already messy enough before age thirteen bc of the just barely burgeoning aro crisis that was already doing a whole awful lot to make them feel alienated/alone/like there was something wrong with them. and then all of those feelings got kinda subsumed when they were dropped into the torment nexus (<- special super secret private training with the director 😀). they didn’t really ever get the chance to form their own understanding of what love and relationships mean outside of That One Relationship (<- with the director) so That One Relationship kinda subsumed all of their others and became their only point of reference.

this had. a variety of interesting effects (the violence thing. the physical touch thing) but the most important one i think is that pallas views all relationships, all interactions with other people, as transactional, and as a result pallas doesn’t believe that unconditional love exists. so they can’t exactly extend that to other people.

the one problem is that the reason this training and conditioning stuck so well in the first place is that pallas is incredibly, soul-crushingly, devoted to the causes they serve. this is literally what made them primetime candidate #1 for mommy’s specialist little weapon just above the fact that they were practically a walking talking bundle of easy to dig into insecurities with phenomenal magic power. every interaction IS transactional, but that bargaining has to be done in service of the library, everything is conditional because nothing is more important than saving the world(tm), relationships only really come down to give and take but when it comes to certain people pallas is willing to give a lot more than they take. and the director is the one who gave them their cause, she embodies the cause to them. and so even when she breaks the rules she taught them, even when they get nothing in return for the horrible work they do for her, they cannot bring themself to question it. like. pallas doesn’t believe in unconditional love…….. but also that’s literally godmomteachermom what r they supposed to do.

if you’re wondering whether they’ve thought about or examined these contradictions at all the answer is no they’d explode and die if they did ❤️

What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

resolve FIRMLY to ignore the person and then sit there getting progressively more and more irritated at said person until they explode and do something nasty and violent to make sure the person never tries to talk to them again. i can say all of this with certainty bc this exact series of events happens two times in the book (once with fiver and once with calliope) except in both of those scenarios pallas wasn’t even stuck in a room they could literally leave whenever they want they just chose to do this instead.

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

pallas does like Structure and Rules but when it comes to common etiquette i think they feel like most of doesn’t apply to them bc those are rules for real actual human people and pallas doesn’t consider themself a real actual human person. also they’re not really around other people enough for it to really matter to them??like they do want things to be Neat and Orderly but if you try to make small talk with them they will stare blankly at u w their freaky gray eyes until you get a nosebleed

Who would / do they believe without question?

sigh. see #18 for the simple answer. but there’s also an interesting thing that starts to happen in lay me down where pallas begins to believe agnes without question as well.

at first this kinda happens bc they think she’s to dumb and naive to try and trick/manipulate them but as their relationship develops they start putting her more and more on a pedestal, seeing keeping her safe as a way to make up for what they consider the worst thing they’ve ever done, leaning on her for comfort as a security blanket, and they start to think that bc agnes is so good and agnes is so kind and agnes is just as devoted to them as they are to her that she is genuinely incapable of not telling them the truth (because that’s what the two of them do! they tell the truth to each other! give truth and get truth back!!) so they end up taking a Lot of what she says at face value. in case you’re wondering if this ends up being devastating in the long run i’ll let you know that yeah :) it does :)))

What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

i think their gut instinct is freeze but they’ve been trained and conditioned to react with fight instead so the Freezing only happens when shit gets really really really bad and they kind of revert back to the mentality they had when they were younger and that was their main response. otherwise it’s killing maiming violence killing all the time allllll the way

[waywardsunlight]

Why Darius is Cool

Eda and Darius don’t interact a lot but Darius trusts her heavily, as seen in Hollow Mind and throughout the end of season 2. Darius also has a good relationship with Luz, although short, due to his relationships with Eda and Raine. He doesn’t not care about Luz. There’s a scene where Raine is concerned about Luz and Darius doesn’t seem to care. However, when he finds out that Hunter is in danger too, he lunges forward and has to he stopped by Raine and then immediately gets embarrassed when Raine has to remind him that they need to stay secret...

It’s not that he doesn’t care about Luz. He hasn’t met her yet and he was airing on the side of caution, and he clearly trusts Eda to save Luz. And yeah, maybe it’s not the best that he doesn’t want to run in until he hears that Hunter is in danger also. He’s willing to trust Eda to save Luz but when he knows Hunter is there too, he’s upset. The scene where he makes the fake plan for the DOU is a joke according to the showrunners, but nobody thought it was funny because his sense of humor is a little morbid. He wasn’t actually going to do that plan, he was joking which is why he splashes them with abomination goo. Darius shows a lot of concern and love for Hunter over their arc. It’s clear that Darius and Hunter are texting until Hollow Mind and then they get back into contact after Lab Runners which is when Darius “assigns” Hunter the job of protecting Luz, because Hunter wanted to help but didn’t want to face Belos (lmao rip). Darius ignores Hunter until ASIAS because Hunter is a liability for him and he sees Hunter as Belos’ little henchman which isn’t fair, but Darius doesn’t seem to be aware of the abusive relationship because of how protective he is of Hunter later. Also.... Darius, in being mean to Hunter, intentionally sends him to go make friends. He essentially tells Hunter to touch grass, and Hunter does, in fact, touch grass. When Hunter shows up, Darius is angry because he almost died from the ship crashing (also like... that is his fault for not telling the kids where they were going lmao but plot), but he calms down immediately upon talking to Hunter and telling him that he’s proud of him for standing up against Darius. Darius was also cranky because it’s his day off and probably his last one before the Day of Unity. 

And while these things don’t justify some of his behavior it’s also very clear that Darius is a complicated witch and.... like.... what’s wrong with enjoying a complicated character? Darius can screw up with Hunter and the other kids and still... be a good person. He can be messy. So Yeah!

I could keep going for a while but I can’t handle this Darius slander anymore.

[nyaagolor]

what do you think of Carmine and Kieran so far? My stance is that even though neither of them are abusive and do care deeply about each other (and seeing people say they are abusive, especially about Carmine, makes me really sad), I do think that their relationship is definitely NOT a "normal sibling relationship" and both of them do have a bunch of Capital I Issues. But them having Capital I Issues that complicate their relationship while still caring (which FURTHER complicates things) and not being bad people at all is what make them so interesting to me and it's a vicious cycle I LOVE VICIOUS CYCLES OF MISCOMMUNICATION AND MESSY RELATIONSHIPS!!! I'm so normal (lying)

absolutely adore them, Pokemon has really filled this game to the absolute brim with characters who 1. Behave like real people 2. Have actual personalities with arcs that don't act like complete archetypes. God fucking Bless.

The general reaction to the DLC tho has surprised me in the worst way possible. The characters in these games are significantly better written than any pokemon characters in the past but ultimately, they are still pokemon characters. Most of their personality traits are made abundantly and explicitly clear to the audience by the story's end. There is not much digging you really have to do here

And yet! I'm sitting here watching Carmine's reception and thinking back to Nemona, because both of them have a pretty clearly defined personality that I really didn't think were possible to misinterpret. Despite the fact that they are laughably easy characters to understand on a fundamental level people STILL have managed to mischaracterize them to the point of consistently putting discourse on my dash about it. "Carmine is abusive" Carmine is like 15. She is a teenage girl with a younger brother. This is how teenagers behave, especially insecure ones like Carmine is implied to be. She overcompensates and is kind of rude like 3 times and lets her caring nature slip constantly because she feels things extremely strongly. She gets really worked up over everything Because She Is A Teenager. I don't understand why this is difficult

I'm not even sure I would go as far as to say Carmine has Capital I Issues (tho that's a lil subjective, ymmv?) because everything just kinda feels like pretty typical teenager stuff? Like yeah she has issues but they're pretty much exactly what happened to like half the people I knew in high school. And honestly I adore that, it resonates with a lot of people and feels like a good representation of actual teenagers and their problems. It's not especially grandiose but it IS real. Her and Kieran's relationship having strain because they are both kids figuring out how to deal with each other and their emotions is a dope conflict to display in a pokemon game and I think fits in with the more grounded arcs and conflicts we've seen in the base game. It's nice

Kieran's fucked in the head tho idk what that bitch's problems are but I wanna watch him lose it. it'll be funny as hell. I hope his relationship with Carmine gets better but I want it to get worse first

[chumpovodir]

Man I have so many Thoughts about Hector and Julia

Like. In a vacuum, they'd be cute together, right? Hector is kind and considerate to her. Julia is a little irriverent, but also cares about him and helps him through his journey. They can relate to each other, as outcasts, as people who knew Isaac, as people who have lost a dear one.

But man everything else around them ensures that a hypothetical relationship between them would be fucked up lmao. Hector just went on a rampage to avenge her recently dead lover - he's so dedicated and devoted, can he truly move on so easily? Julia just so happens to look like her - would Hector see her as her, or as a mockery of Rosaly? She's also Isaac's sister, with all that it entails. And then there's what Hector is for Julia...

The thing is, can he be considered Isaac's killer? That's ambiguous. What killed Isaac: being slashed by Hector's sword while his body was inhabited by Dracula's soul, or the ritual itself? I suspect Isaac died the moment Death put Dracula's soul inside him. If that's the case, Hector is not the direct cause of Isaac's death. But... Julia asked Hector to please save Isaac, and only kill him if there was no other choice. Hector didn't care. He did sympathize with her sadness, but then the cursed thoughts took hold of him again, and he kept insisting that Isaac had to die by his hand. He never tried to take a pacifist option, even after he realized that with his power he could nullify the Curse. By the time he put two and two together, Isaac's fate was already sealed.

So imagine from Julia's perspective. Hector reassures her that only he can "dispel the vile curse": this might make her hope that Isaac could be saved. An hour or so later, she sees his corpse abandoned on the floor, and Hector ready to die under the crumbling castle. He managed to save himself and Wallachia, but not her big brother.

I do believe part of her, in her grief, would blame Hector for not doing enough. But she would never express it, because if there's one thing that's certain about Julia, is that she represses a lot.

I think they'd stay friends. They'd be able to joke around and visit each other and maybe even open up to each other. But the ghosts of Rosaly and Isaac would always hang between them. Yes, it's complicated, and messy, and bittersweet.

(and hey, the ending of the game only shows Hector going to live with her. Nothing says they'd have to be together lol. Or that Hector won't be able to find himself a new arrangement later on.)

thoughts so Huge™ tumblr wouldn't dare show me this ask notification 'til i got back on desktop lmao

The thing is, can he be considered Isaac's killer? That's ambiguous

it's funny because even if Hector did spare Isaac, he really had no reason to after making that mistake the first time, in PtR, which arguably kicks off the whole chain of events in the first place

I do believe part of her, in her grief, would blame Hector for not doing enough. But she would never express it, because if there's one thing that's certain about Julia, is that she represses a lot.

oh, absolutely. she'd know it wouldn't be fair to begrudge Hector after putting his life on the line, doing Trevor's job for him, and basically saving the entirety of Wallachia by breaking the curse, all the while suffering from his own loss. what are her own personal desires to see her only living relative spared, compared to acting for the greater good, right? i see her as the kind of person that never complains about her lot in life, which is how she managed to survive living on the fringes of society without growing a misanthropic bone about it like Isaac did.

and yeah, honestly it's just such a disservice to relegate her to the new love interest. rosaly at least got fleshed out as her own person in both the mangas, but we don't get much insight to julia's character or how she feels about everything that went down. to make matters worse, it seems like the fanbase doesn't see much value in her so there's so little, if any, fanworks that feature her POV