#this is going to be...interesting
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*sigh* Well, looks like Loki season 2 episodes are going to drop at 8 p.m. CT on Thursdays. Because of my schedule (and because I want to watch season 2 with my sisters, since I just showed them the first season to get them caught up), that means I'm not going to be able to watch the episodes until Saturday evening or possibly even Monday evening. I've managed to not hear a single thing about season 2 so far, and I'd like to keep it that way. So if I start disappearing mysteriously for longer stretches of time than normal...that would be why.
Oh well. I guess that will force me to be more productive, since Fridays are my big writing/homework days :/
#rambling into the void#loki#oh crud i just realized i'm going to be out of town when the final episode drops#this is going to be...interesting#i'm probably safe because i don't think i follow any die-hard loki fangirls or anything#but all it takes is one spoiler...
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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that article going around abt firefox's new ad program is annoying bc it's phrased as though "mozilla has finally TURNED on its people and is SELLING YOU OUT for cold hard cash!!" when. that's not what's happening. it is specifically being implemented to discourage tracking behavior, and literally all the data they are giving to advertisers is aggregate and anonymized, which is like, the opposite of what that post wants you to worry about, lol
#the nemesis speaks#unfortunately i don't have enough energy to like. campaign about this.#it's actually a really interesting tactic to discourage invasive tracking#basically giving individual advertisers a way to measure '% effectiveness of ad' without individual info getting attached to it#whatever anyway i'm going to bed. do NOT discourse on this post or i will get your ass
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It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.
We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.
#yeah I did put on makeup just to go out with someone who doesn't know how to ask interesting questions#I'll do it again just to get to that special person#tagging this lesbian cause that's who my blog is for#but this is true regardless of sexuality#lesbian#dyke#sapphic#wlw#dykeposting#femme4butch#femme#femme lesbian#butch4femme#butch#butch lesbian
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
EDIT: seems this is more common among ND people than i thought, and probably not limited to AuDHD specifically :] i was just describing my own experiences and didn't expect this post to blow up, so don't take me for an authority, but i'm glad it resonated with so many of y'all
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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More Stowaway AU
Pacifica dynamics with each Grunkle. Happy late Father’s Day and birthday to the grunks!
#Pacifica Northwest#Stanley Pines#Stanford Pines#Stan Pines#Gravity Falls#Stowaway AU#my art#doodles#there’s much more lovecraftian ass monsters and pirate specters than I’ve depicted I just really like making jokes about the dynamics#i love Paz and Stan beefing but like now it’s with love#Ford and Pacifica though that was a surprising discovery bc before I’d always have their relationship as positive neutral#maybe Paz a little tinyyyy bit scared of him bc he is Dipper coded but once he finds out about her paranormal connections he might#unintentionally treat her more science experiment and anomaly more than like a person which is very NOT a Dipper thing so Paz is freaked#but like in the Stowaway AU ok some of that happens but I think the more Ford gets to know her as a bullheaded but intelligent kid who’s#eager to impress he sees a bit of himself AND his brother within her personality and she’s had to go through so much shit but she’s still#here and talking her shit and she’s surprisingly interested in history and so intuitive and REALLY into paranormal shit like even if its not#all the cryptid and science shit he likes they find something to really bond over#and then everything else is just like hey! this kid is cool#and then in the middle of the night one day he’s like ‘Stanley I think I’m ready to be a father.’ and Stan goes BWUH?????
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please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is ple

FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#that does it. i'm watching Severance#idk if this was already a well known fact i don't go here (Severance)#the stanley parable#severance#max speaks#people: this is the greatest tv show currently running!!#me: oh great! I'll have to watch that uhhhhh... eventually? maybe in the next year or-#article: Severance was inspired by your special interest of nearly 3 years!!#me: ...now. I'll watch it right now.#stanley parable nation we're so back#did i ever mention in this post that i love the stanley parable??? i love the stanley parable. soso much. ough<33
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Continuation of this
#trying to write bills cipher in character is harder than it looks#I HAD to finish this comic but I have so many other things to do so now I gotta go do that#it’s nearly 1am help#my art#gravity falls#twins in time au#Stan pines#Stanley pines#bill cipher#I think the idea of bill weaponising Stans fear of losing his brother is so interesting a concept#especially because he literally does lose him in the future#baby Stan having to atone for the actions of his future self when he just wants his cool brother to like him#:((((
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i feel like people forget that sometimes characters in fic are written like that because it's a reflection of real life.
people have sex without setting boundaries. people have unprotected sex without talking about their sexual histories or producing recent sti tests. people play with kink without discussing it ahead of time or establishing a safeword. they have anal without 'enough' prep or lube—they may even prefer it like that.
and none of this is really a fantasy. it's all pretty normal. you can feel that it's inappropriately normalised, and you'd probably be right! but it is normalised: one study found that 58% of female undergraduate students on the campus studied had been choked during sex. 20% of those students said that they'd never been asked if it was ok; another 30% said they'd only sometimes been asked if they consented. fully half! (non-paywalled journal article on choking during sex here, including these numbers.) despite a rise in stis of all sorts, condom use is declining. (pdf link to the full text of this study about declining condom use in the us; aidsmap article about an australian study with similar results.)
even when people do talk about things—sex or anything else—they communicate imperfectly. 'yeah, but don't go too far' is consenting and setting a boundary, and also relying that the person you're talking to has the same metric for 'too far' that you do. for some people, 'the trash needs to go out' is a neutral, factual observation; for others, it's a request that the person they're speaking to take out the trash.
even when people understand each other perfectly, people react unpredictably to things sometimes! we behave irrationally! people laugh uncontrollably at funerals, or get angry at the straw that broke their back rather than the enormous load they were already carrying. they get scared and lash out at people trying to help them. when hurt, most people do not instinctively reach for therapy-approved grounding exercises and 'i feel' statements.
pretty much any bad choice that characters could conceivably make is a choice that people make in real life, on purpose, all the time. people do things that can have catastrophic, life-changing effects because it felt like a good idea at the time, or they're leaning into the vibe, or they just didn't think about it all that much, or an infinite number of other reasons.
fiction isn't intended as a guide on the best, safest, and most responsible ways to live your life, and fanfic isn't any different. it's not a narrative flaw to let characters do things that are messy or harmful or downright stupid—it's a reflection of what people are actually like, and not something that authors should feel they have to apologise for.
#fandom#fanfic#writing sex#writing#writing advice#i guess#i know no one is going to read this#but it just bums me the fuck out#people are messy and imperfect#it's part of what makes us interesting and fun tho#characters should be allowed to be messy and imperfect to#echoes linger
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Obsessed with the idea of Mobei Jun going through most of his life thinking that he's the only one smart enough to pick up on Shang Qinghua's worth and try to court him, only to walk into a room one day (prior to his ascension) and see Luo Binghe's husband beating up his man in what is clearly a non-serious and recreational fashion.
Just how long has this been going on for? Is this why Qinghua has never formally accepted any of his proposals? How is he supposed to retaliate when Junshang will kill him on the spot for any perceived attack on his husband? The one guy he probably can't challenge to a duel, and he's clearly trying to seduce Mobei's man out from under him!
But what can he do? More violence? Sluttier outfits? Longer attempts at meaningful eye-contact? He was already pulling out all the stops, what does this stupid scholar have that he doesn't, huh?
#svsss#scum villain#scum villain's self saving system#moshang#mobei jun#shang qinghua#emergency alert someone else has noticed qinghua and it seems qinghua is interested in him as well#mbj has no idea what to do with this he's never had to lower himself to compete for sqh's interest before#even worse it's someone he can't immediately kill on the spot#at this rate he's going to have to ask sha hualing for the name of her tailor#plunging necklines don't fail him now
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I think that “Anakin was a slave child who was groomed by Palpatine and raised by someone who wasn’t ready to take on a child, thereby leaving him in a social limbo state where he’s surrounded by people but only has a few close confidants, with the one he trusts the most actively trying to take advantage of him”
and
“Anakin was taught right from wrong from a young age, first by his mother and then by Kenobi, but any time he was presented with a choice, actively CHOSE WRONG EVERY SINGLE TIME”
are two sentences that can, should, and MUST coexist to fully understand Anakin Skywalker as a character
Edit: PART 2 of this post here
#watching people debate him is so interesting to me#pro-Anakin people get it right in that upbringing shapes how a person is: he’s a slave child and had to leave his mom#so of COURSE he’s going to have an iron grip on people attachment-wise#but they tend to deny Anakin his own autonomy and resolve him of every bad thing he did#when it’s like: no. he DID all of that. not just did it…but did it once then did it again#meanwhile anti-Anakin people (usually) tend to understand that Anakin made terrible choices#but again…they either deny him autonomy by making him an always-evil character#or by just downplay the relationship he has with Obi-Wan or Padme. Completely dehumanizing him.#Like the truth is in the middle: he’s a deeply complex person#(arguably more so than fandom can completely understand)#it doesn’t help it that these people either tend to be pro Jedi (anti-Anakin) or pro Sith (pro Anakin)#Pro Jedi people tend to be…Xenophobic is the nicest term for how they treat Anakin#But pro Sith people tend to claim that the Jedi are a cult (they aren’t) and Anakin was groomed by it (he wasn’t)#So they use Anakin as the sort of doll to put all of their beliefs into. Which again we circle around to dehumanizing this character#star wars tcw#star wars#anakin skywalker#star wars meta#Anakin Skywalker meta
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it is frustrating to be in a fandom where an interesting and narrratively significant female character seems to be widely popular, only to realize that actually most people are just going "wow cool sword girlboss" and not um. thinking about her point of view or internal life at all
#I have seen SO many people go 'why did maki do XYZ'#when it is abundantly clear if you think for two minutes why she does XYZ#I also think she's cool and kicks ass but that's not why she's interesting#jjk.txt#jjk tag
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im so serious if you cant imagine a single female character u like or you coincidentally only care about men or imagine that women are a different species of human that are impossible to draw or write about or relate to, You are the problem. its not because you’re gay it’s because you do not like women
#There is not a Feminist Quota about how the evil feminists are going to FORCE you to think about any media you like#but some of you guys are just fucking misogynistic im sorry.#anyone who thinks fugo is the most deep and interesting character in p5 but hates trish for being boring owes me genuine real life money
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