#this is getting long i just think abt disco a lot.

[theha1rarch]

hm doing some thinking & being all introspective tonight & just ... thinking about my blogs & what i wanna do & what will ultimately be the best for me. like i'm def just staying on steve's blog for a while but when i start to get stir crazy over here & shit ...

idk i love my multi (like pcetstcrtured), i love having a multi like that but sometimes i do think trying to run a large multi with (literally) over 100 muses ends up being detrimental to my writing time & time again. like, it always is a pattern over & over again - i take a break from the multi, come back to it, 'cut down' my muse list, end up adding back all the muses i cut & then getting to a point of being tired, stressed, & overwhelmed & having no muse or motivation for tumblr on any of my blogs ...

it's happened so many times. & so idk. i'm just thinking & thinking maybe i really need to try to set a boundary with myself & genuinely, for real, actually, take a step back from running a big blog like that for at least an actual extended period of time (like ... longer than a month or two) & just maybe try to see if that's better for me. i don't know ...

[hijackalx]

*SOME DURGE QUEST SPOILERS*

***NONCON AND DRUG USE MENTIONS***

GORTASH SFW HEADCANONS:

ok to start i think when he was a prisoner his hair got rlly long and unkept and he hateddd it so the minute he escaped he chopped that shit off himself and thats why its so unruly lol (*EDIT he always cuts his own hair is what im sayin)

this man is such a taurus like everything about him screams taurus. has a taurus stellium fosho

would listen to superheaven

hes also sooo jenny by studio killers, disco man by remi wolf, happiness by the 1975 coded with Durge 😩😩

with durge hes also giving bf that ur dad hates but like thats canon. i think he likes that hes able to influence durge to the point that they rebel lol. the type of boy u run away with when ur younger

probably BLASTED jet black heart by 5SOS on repeat when Durge disappeared LMFAOO

also i kind of feel like the fearless buff to his clothing is more an insight to his character rather than him needing magic to not be fearful bcz he literally got the shit beat out of him everyday and lived in HELL how can he not be desensitized to everything at that point 😭😭😭 it does not get much worse than that my boy

hes so thique like hes just a big boned dude. tiddies SO fat too EUGH + thick shoulders/arms. he feels so warm and safe i just know it i just KNOW it gurl

also idk if it was supposed to happen but in my latest playthrough during the fight with him he dropped his bow and just started beating the shit out of us 😭😭😭😭 all hands baby like WHAT 😭😭 so i like to think thats his preferred method of fighting idk if thats canon tho i feel like i seen somebody talking abt that before but mightve just been another hc

occasionally does drugs. likes the ones that make him feel really elated (idk what theyre called in bg3 its some kind of dust or something) ALSO HC THAT HE WAS ON SOMETHING WHEN HE WROTE RHAT FUCKED UP NOTE TO FRANC (WAS THAG HIS NAME U GUYS KNOW THE NOTE) HE WAS OBVIOJSLY TRIPPING BALLSSSSS

lots of body hair…… everywhere……. straight and black body hair. that is so sexy to me let me smell the pheromones in your armpits king LMFAO (i think theres something wrong with me)

going off of rhat yes i think he smells good (DIVINE, even) as a woman that is feral and in heat all the time. but to normal ppl he may smell kind of weird. not STINKY stinky but like when u dont shower and ur natural scent starts to mix with the perfume/cologne ur wearing SORRY 😭😭😭 im trying to be realistic here. or maybe like when u wake up and didnt shower the night before and u can still smell the perfume/cologne u put on yesterday. basically what im saying is he might need to shower

hes just so masculine it drives me crazy I LOVE MEN !!!!!!!!!! I LOVE EEENERM. ME E WN

love language:

giving = lowkey getting acts of service vibes here but u didnt hear it from me 🤫🤐 gift giving too. tav is just his widdle babie and he wants to make sure theyre the happiest they can be 🥺😩

receiving = acts of service LMAO give and get back type of shit

relationship wise i think he is the most doting and sweetest person. like tav will never have to worry abt anything ever again bcz he will handle everything. takes care of them cuz they are his king/queen 😌

GORTASH NSFW HEADCANONS:

yeah going off that last hc he is sweet outside the bedroom but a menace in it. its just the way he is. its probably exhausting too 😩 like if u ask him to be gentler/less intense he will try for a while but probably wont enjoy it as much. he doesnt like to hold back.

i WILL say tho ☝🏻🤨 i think when he gets close to finishing he gets a little more soft/loving. he just has to get his badness out first yall its fine

HIGH libido wants to smash all the time. he also (POSSIBLE NONCON MENTION !!!!!!!) thinks that since ur his u should be willing to give it up whenever he wants it. (NONCON MENTION OVER) i think in the bedroom he sees u as a servant even if ur considered his equal normally. like hes a chosen of bane he has to feel like he has control over u in SOME way

can be selfish depending on his mood. sometimes he doesnt see u as anything other than a toy (lowkey hard for me to admit but i NEVA LIE GIRLS !!!!! 🙅🙅🙅) like can be such a fucking asshole about it too

BUT !!! when he is feeling generous he is soooo generous. EUGH like he will make sure u enjoy urself!!!! probably multiple times !!!!!!!!!!!!

dont know why nobody else has said he has a daddy kink. so obvious like call him daddy ms thing he will nut so hard. oh corruption kink too. like can u imagine Durge being so innocent when they first met cuz they were never allowed to get close to anybody and hes just sooo into it HELLO i got to write that fic NEOW

omg breeding kink too give him heirs. will fuck the shitttt out of u in a mating press. probably comes a lot too almost impossible not to get pregnant with him LMAO

likes to pick u up and fuck u. manhandling king. also will do the faerun equivalent to coke and wants u to do it w him then fuck nasty afterwards

i feel like he doesnt last an extremely long time. 15-20 mins is THE MOST youre getting out of him lol he just gets very excited (which is lowkey kind of cute??)

do i even have to say that this man is packing schmeat. heavy dick. heavy balls. allow me to bear some of that weight for u my liege 🤲🏻🧎

ORIN BONUS ????:

mostly nsfw

ok i didnt originally plan to add orin but listen….. gortash is a charismatic guy….. imagine orin was into him too LISTEN ! like shes jealous asf of Durge in that sense too not just bcz of them being bhaal’s fav. like when i think abt them i just am getting a vibe okay. this trio……..

every time she sees gortash and Durge acting close and doing all their yucky lovesick shit she just gets soooo mad. now imagine she shifts into Durge to get gortash to fuck her. yeah… yall seeing the vision? would he ever find out ?? imagine that was why he hates orin so much?? he doesnt want to tell Durge (cuz thats cheating hes not a cheater duh 🙄 plus hes scared theyll be mad at him) and thats why his explanations as to why he hates orin are so vague

[space-girlllll]

OK!!!!! SO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ROUND!!!

A LOT HAPPENED SO IMMA DO A SMALL ANALYSIS AND JUST POINT THINGS OUT BCS I NEED TO TALK ABT THIS!!!

First of all, Hyuna is still bleeding from the gunshot wound of last round, and idk how long it takes for an abdominal gunshot wound to stop bleeding, but it can't have been more than a few hours, so this couldn't have happened too long after the last round. and since thats true, is it usually this short of time in between, and when did this short time in between rounds begin?

also, i'm so mad at luka but like. pop off???? he plays the fuckin violin???? hes a talented guy ig???

Hyuna stopping mizi from going after till and luka??? she looks absolutely terrified, bcs who know what could happen to her if she goes up on that stage with luka. She's worried that luka will hurt mizi and that just. :(

This scene breaks my heart tbh :( mizi running off with hyuna left watching after her terrified, bcs she feels powerless.

also!!!! in this scene??????? where you can see the blood CLEARLY still on tills pants??? did they not have him change his pants after the previous round??? he's still covered in ivan's blood thats just so- AAAAAAAAAAA

The disco ball beign earth?? that's absolutely crazy to me. like damn.

When Luka reaches out and touches till??? First of all, the lyrics specifically being 'the dark crimson air' during this part just made me think of ivan, who had red in his eyes, like, huh. and also that red behind till's ear? is that a part of his ear piece? and also speaking of the ear piece why does it glow red this whole round, when it didn't glow like that before (i think i might be wrong ;-;)

and this!! him putting his hands exactly where Ivan put his when he choked till, and especially because this is when he sings 'embraces us'? that is just. uggghhhhhhh. and also the rings on his hands are placed so specifically on each finger. huh.

And the fact that his face gets all dead, void of expression once he hides his face behind till is just scary, the way he can wipe off all semblance of emotion. also, back to till's ear piece, i can't help but be fixated on it, with how it glows red so BRIGHTLY in some scenes, and with how out of place it looks with everything else around it, idk.

Till, here, looks absolutely terrified, and so tired, he's so scared he doesn't sing the next few lines for a bit, i feel horrible for him ;-;

And again with the ear piece! he even looks in pain as pulls his hand away from it like it's causing him so much pain. i'm rly worried abt it :/

and he looks DELIGHTED that till is in so much pain, like it's funny to him, because luka is a FREAK AND WE CAN'T FORGET THAT

he's so exhausted that his weird fake guitar glitches out ;-;

THE RED FLASHBACKS OF CURE ALL GOING DOWN AND IVAN'S DEATH??? THAT'S CRAZY

AND ONCE AGAIN THE RED FLASHING EAR PIECE WHILE TILL IS LOOKING ALL DEFEATED AND HIS NOSE STARTS BLEEDING?? MY BOY IS TIRED.

OK HERE. So Ivan is looking down on till, all high and mighty, serious, scary, all cold and condescending while till is all defeated and broken down

meanwhile, behind Luka, Ivan is practically the exact opposite of the one above till. He's crying, he's dying, he's dressed as he is in cure, but one of the only things the two share is theyre both looking at Till. Even if the two images are opposites, they are always looking at till. UGH. Ok also, i feel like the two are sorta how the two see ivan?? like not completely, but it's his image in their eyes. To till, he's so far above him, he's off putting and mysterious, but to Luka ivan is pathetic, low and close to the ground, emotional and defeated. i'm not saying this is 100% how i think luka sees ivan, but its a part of it.

UGHHH LUKA MIMICING IVANNNNN. ALSO NOT THE LYRICS BEING 'LEAVE NO REGRETS' FOR THIS SEGMENT.

ALSO THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO PICS ABOVE ARE EVERYTHING. Luka is mostly expressionless here, a small smirk, but other than that, his face is blank. Ivan meanwhile, despite being till seeing ivan in luka, is so much more human looking between the two. He's sweating, he's tired from the performance, his hair is slightly messy, he has sorta eyebags/crinkles from his exhaustion, his small smirk, he just looks so much more real then Luka in this moment, despite not being real at all.

AND THE CHANGE BETWEEN HIM SEEING IVAN AND THEN NOTICING MIZI!!!! FROM THE TERRIFIED LOOK ON HIS FACE WITH THE RED REPLACING HIS PUPIL, AND THE LITTLE PINK EYELIGHT AFTER HE SEES MIZI!!! INSANE.

AND SUDDENLY WHEN HE LOOKS IN THE CROWD AGAIN HE DOESN'T JUST SEE ALL OF THE RED, ALL OF THE BRIGHT LIGHTS, HE SEES MIZI, AND HE SEES THE PINK OF THOSE AROUND HER, AND NOTHIGN ELSE.

AND HE BEGINS TO SING AGAIN. AND HAS THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP FIGHTING.

LUKA IS FLABBERGASTED AT ALL THIS

AND TILL, SUDDENLY REINVIGORATED TO KEEP GOING, SINGS, AND ALSO THE EAR PIECE GOES GREEN.

Luka seems genuinely annoyed at this and im so sorry bcs at this point im just narrarating whats happening im not good at analysis sorry ;-;

AND HERE!! WHERE TILL TRANSITIONS FROM THE DARK GREEN ALL AROUND HIM TO MIZI'S SOFT PINK!!! HE'S INSPIRED AND HAS HOPE. ACTUAL HOPE.

AND THE PINK ALL AROUND THEM IS SO SWEET, THEY'RE REACHING OUT TO EO, MIZI HOPING TO SAVE TILL AND TILL SO DESPERATE TO BE SAVED ONLY FOR HIM TO GET SHOT IMMEDIATELY AFTER?? UGH.

the absolute horror and pain in mizi's expression as she watches till fall ;-; he was the last person left from before, and now mizi's is all alone.

OK IMMA CONTINUE THIS IN ANOTHER POST BCS THERES A LIMIT TO HOW MANY IMAGES BUT JUST YOU WAIT. IM COOKING HERE I SWEAR.

[demisexual-in-distress]

Any *SHNIFFFFF* helluva and/or hazbin headcanons??? o-o

*AHEHEHEHEM* I CAN RANT YES UR SUMMONING MY INNER NERD (LONG) (SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ROTTING IN MY ASK BOX IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A WHILE NOW)

pls dont flop i spent way too many hours on this lol only doing 6 (six) from the main casts!!! And, sadly, no, Fizzarolli is not included, though I do love him dearly.

Helluva Headcanons:

Blitz:

frickin loves spirit

(saw this somewhere else not sure where) huge-ass horns scratch up his couch, hence the shitty tears

Makes sure to cherish Loona as much as possible on her bday bc of trauma from his childhood

Wants to be the parent possible to her also due to trauma (daddy issues :\)

Insecure about his scars :(

Lost Verosika because he adopted Loona in a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, but refused to get rid of her when V wasn't a fan

Eats anything and everything Brandon Rogers does (canon??) (such as cheese and hotsauce)

Told Barbie about his crush on Fizz before trying to tell Fizz himself

never grew out of bands he liked as a teen

Undiagnosed learning disabilites (dyslexia? he tries his best)

Poor education

(TW, S.A.) Stolas:

WATCHES EVERY TELENOVELA IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

Also enjoys musicals and constantly sings soundtracks while alone (projecting a bit)

Genuinely wants Via and Loona to hang out; wants some sort of father-daughter bond? with Loona, but isn't sure how to approach her

was verbally, physically, and sexually abused by Stella in their "relationship"

GREY'S ANATOMY

I think we all know this by now... Eyeliner.

Black sheep (canon?)

plays some sort of classical instrument idk (piano?)

PAINTS (happy little trees)

Big fan of Cruel Prince series yk

Big fan of fantasy in general

Nerds abt astronomy to Via

Adelle. No other words.

Wattpad user u can't convince me otherwise

Definitely neurodivergent

Millie:

Dyed Sallie Mae's hair when she transitioned, was a makeshift hairdresser for a little while (till Sal figured out how to do it herself)

Had a lot of pets as a child

Tries to stay in contact with all her siblings. Emphasis on tries.

Used to get homesick A LOT

Homeschooled

Ik it's a common one now, but babysat Loona while Blitz was in prison, leading to her and Moxxie meeting

THIS GURL CAN HANDLE HER DAMN DRINKS ‼️

Best homemade recipes by far

Has and will not hesitate to eat a bug once more

Very organized

Moxxie:

Likes to write

MUSICALS (canon) he loves phantom, les mis, and a gentleman's guide to love and murder (ahahhaem Bryce pinkham)

Has many hyperfixations! AUDHD

Loves kids, but gets overstimulated/overwhelmed when taking care of them

In severe need of validation due to trauma

Cat person

Out on a limb here but likes pottery

Bouncy leg stim yk

Panic! At the Disco led to his bi realization

Violinist just trust me

Loves mice for some odd reason

Gullible? Is that canon?

Can sketch pretty good!

Overwhelmed by loud noises and crowded spaces

Loona:

ACE SPECTRUM!!!!

Watches movies with blitz late at night as a tradition

Taught Blitz makeup tips for when he does his weird drag human disguise thing

follows 666 News on the hotel's strange journey

percussionistcore idk how else to say that

Knows EXACTLY how to deal with a hangover (ty blitz)

Social anxiety (might break this down in a seperate post cuz im in a ranty mood)

Has seen the show daria (or at least the hell version) (yall better kno wut im talking about)

Tries not to spend too much / is gentle with Blitz's bank account

Octavia:

Deep down, a sanrio girl is born

Nightcore bitches u already know

Very polarized when it comes to her relationship with stolas (canon?)

Has attempted to bring Stolas into her world - definitely shares her special interests with him, he tries his best to support

Plays at least ONE classical instrument bc she wanted to make Stolas proud :,) (never said she was good at it)

Very sheltered when it comes to Stolas and Stella's actual relationship toward each other

avid collector of taxidermy and other creepy things

She definitely knows those OG goth dances

Photography!!

Dr Martens do i have to say more

Hazbin Headcanons:

TW for Angel Dust and Niffty's (of all people), S.A. mentions.

Charlie:

YA sapphic romances!!!

Webtoon freak

Pinterest whore

Listens to Katy Perry + Hayley Kiyoko

Sanrio again!! Aggretsuko or Chococat r her favs

Can genuinely help people through tough times

Autism spectrum? a little out on a limb here, but she seems to have a hard time breaking down the psychology of sinning/sinners

Paints Vaggie's nails all the time

Vaggie was so her bi awakening; Seviathan and Vaggie were her only two relationships

CATS!!

LOVES Pixy Stix yk they're just straight up sugar

has a diary lol

ADHD

Vaggie:

feels so indebted to Charlie because of how much she took care of her after Falling

girl in red kind of sapphic

Struggles with self-worth

Definitely best exorcist girl on Adam's team

Lute was searching for a reason to get rid of her

brushes Charlie's hair idk

Candles. I don't know why

OPENS/CLOSES DOORS WITH THOSE HUGE ASS HIPS IDK ITS JUST RIGHT TO ME

Doesn't have the heart to tell Charlie when she's not fully correct on something

Origami

Wakes up at ungodly hours due to nightmares and anxiety, lock checks the hotel ALL THE TIME

honestly, tumblr user, silent reblogs

Alastor (sorry, most deal with his time alive):

Genuinely beginning to care for the hotel-- it scares him.

DADDY ISSUES + MOMMY ISSUES HE'S COLLECTED THEM ALL!!!!

Follow up: traumatic childhood

Mauled by dogs (is this still canon? Was this ever canon? DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER THAT???)

Knows the basics of technology, refuses to acknowledge it

Constantly playing jazz music from his radio in his room

Has a very vivid memory of his past, will not let himself forget it

Needs fucking glasses but that monocle don't do shit

Tea > coffee

Was convinced his asexuality was a flaw after being told so

Held onto Mimzy for the sake of nostalgia and memories of time alive

Insomniac

Nerd for jazz

Spoke some French as a child, though he isn't fluent

Husk's and Angel's get a bit detailed... I'm a slut for characters with such a vast possibility of headcanons

Husk (yeah I realize this won't make as much sense if you don't know all of his lore because of my obsession with him, I'll clarify what's already canon):

BLEEDS INTO ALASTOR, ALSO STRANGELY DETAILED: While alive, Husk played the saxophone professionally (canon). In his afterlife, as an overlord, he had one and continued to play bc us musicians r weird fucks who love to torture ourselves. Alastor knew he could play, and, being a jazz lover, LOVES that aspect of Husk. Just about the only thing he likes about him. Now, at the hotel, while he no longer plays, Alastor still brought his saxophone, which rots in Husk's closet.

Niffty's in his room ALL THE FUCKING TIME, it can't possibly get dirty

Doesn't make a mess to begin with--- husk hasn't personalized his room at all since he arrived, he doesn't know when Alastor will pull him out

Is used to that kind of travel anyways, since he did so much when he was alive (canon!!)

Never was that close to his parents-- they were busy with the (canon->) casino

Is (surprisingly) educated on LGBTQIA+ terms, labels, and knows about the most important landmark events in the community's history, he just prefers not to use labels for himself

Close to Niffty, has had conversations with her in Japanese (canonically speaks it) to prevent Alastor from understanding

Always wanted kids, knew he didn't have a stable enough life to have them and didn't want them to have a repeat of his own parents' absence in his childhood

MIXED RACE!! A bit of everything, I'd like to say

Had glasses when he was alive, where the fuck did they go in the afterlife

ACE SPECTRUM (previous post)!!! Demisexual & demiromantic (can u tell I'm projecting a lil???)

Hates KeeKee

Hates large crowds + loud noises, idk it speaks to me, especially with those big ass ears

I don't fully lean towards him being neurodivergent, though I do believe that Husk likes to have something to do with his hands as a form of stimming, if that makes sense

Alone most of his life

(TW, S.A.) Angel Dust (a lot of when he was alive):

Lived with Molly while alive

Was disowned when he got the courage to come out to his dad, fell out of the mafia and had to make a living for the first time ever

Wanted to be an actor, never got casted (while alive) due to being queer

Valentino romanticized his career, making him believe that he wouldn't always be the actor that he is

Career was also romanticized by the fact that he was finally accepted as gay

Performed in drag at gay bars

Borrowed dresses, makeup, other "feminine" things/accesories from Molly, who had a similar style

Isn't as up-to-date with technology and modern things as he seems to be

Tries to cover up both (slight) italian and New York(er?) accent, fails miserably

Had fish while alive (canonically loves fish lol)

Brother + father didn't attend his funeral

Met Cherri very close to when she arrived in Hell

learns more about media and pop culture from Cherri

Originally was in something like a relationship with Val, but it was more of S.A. than consenting sex after a while. When he began to disagree, this showed more prominently.

I don't have anything for Niffty except for one thing, so trigger warning once more. I believe that Niffty came from an immigrant family from Japan���half white. In the 50s, housewives got a bit stir-crazy from all the work they did, leading to hysteria, anxiety, depression, and other issues. In some situation where leaving the house was necessary, I believe one or multiple guys, possibly older, attempted to sexually assault Niffty. Asian girls, such as myself, that look like that "stereotypical" East Asian, young, small, etc., are fetishized. Niffty must've been little, judging by her form, and she was also an immigrant, and also a WOMAN—seen as lesser. In self-defense, she killed him (or all of them? I'm leaning toward it being multiple), having had enough. She was soon diagnosed with the housewife syndrome and lobotomized, meaning they gave her SEVERE brain damage, hence her twisted mind in the afterlife.

Overall, Niffty is a character that we don't know much about yet. Of course I'll write my own story over that. Playing with fandoms is just what I do. :) While I do genuinely believe the part about her being lobotomized will become canon, the rest is, again, just something that's been brewing in my head for a while. Maybe I'll incorporate it in my own writing, who knows?

I wanna see other headcanons in the reblogs and replies :D If this does well, I always have more!

[hustlerose]

finally finished FILTH by irvine welsh. i stand by what i said abt it before. this book would put 99% of puritanical twitter geeks in the fucking hospital

if the middle third (or even the middle half) of it was removed or reduced, this might be my new favorite novel. as it stands, there's so little plot in there, it really drags. until the ending, of course, which is the best thing i've read in a long time

i can see the argument that the lack of plot is a positive, though. filth is a study of bruce robertson as a character. the murder mystery plot is secondary. and the directionlessness serves to donstrate that bruce's life fucking sucks. this is the life you get when you act like robbo: hollow, dull, aggrivating, gross, full of petty bullshit, and slowly getting worse.

if he actually did his job, or had deep relationships with other people, this would be a normal detective novel. instead, it's an experimental scottish acid trip. it's a slow drop down a bottomless pit

and i love this character. he really is good enough to make you keep reading, plot or no plot, just to see him do stuff. he starts already depraved, and only gets worse. he is disgusting in very ordinary, human ways, even while everything ramps up to absurdity. every aspect of him is horribly plausible. i saw myself in him sometimes, and felt sick

thats whats so compelling abt characters like humbert humbert or patrick bateman. you hate him, obviously, but we've all been that guy once or twice, just a little bit

no spoilers, but the ending is amazing. it reminded me of lolita in a lot of ways. its the same sudden gut punch, where we see what other ppl really think of the main character. he thought he was soooo smart, so in control, the master manipulator. he thought everyone would see him as the most masculine, powerful, interesting guy in the world. what a fuckin joke

btw someone on the disco elysium team was definitely a big fan of this book. the fascism, the loser cop archetype, the divorce, the focus on character over plot, the dreamlike introspective stuff. the mix of comedy and tragedy, condemnation and empathy. it all fits so well. it would be pretty easy to make a hdb who's basically an alternate universe robbocop

[aboyisagunasterisk]

hey so i realized i never really made a good intro on this account so here’s this yap fest

me!!!!

hey loll im dakota and im fourteenUM (me , patrick stump , and wendy christensen have the same birthday. if you even care.) i post memes?? i guess?? i hate that word and shitposts but i edit sometimes on my other platforms and i think its worthy of mentioning them so um yeah

★ i use they/them prns but honestly i don’t care

☆ i’m a LESBIAN!!! RAHHHHH also nonbinary and transmasc but i just call myself a masc lesbian mostly 😭

★ 🇲🇽🇲🇽 from socal

☆ INSUFFERABLE music nerd. like. i love music so much. i have a fat vinyl collection. i play bass and guitar and i’ve been doing indoor percussion / drumline for three years and band for four. YIKES!! ask about anything related to that if you dare

★ most importantly I SAW PIERCE THE VEIL ON THE CREATIVE CONTROLS TOUR IN JULY 2023!!! ALSO SAW THE GARDEN AT ONE STRANGE NIGHT IN OC!! AND GOING TO WARPED TOUR 2025 IN LONG BEACH!!!!

☆ very normal about wenderin and pineflower. i’m their number one fan actually🙏 you can tag me and stuff in posts abt them and ill love you forever maybe sorry im insane

interests!!!

there’s a handful but i’m mostly talking about (or known for smh)

scott pilgrim , final destination 3 , bottoms 2023 , pierce the veil , really just 2000s “emo” bands (or “bandom.” whatever you gay people call it) anyway like sleeping with sirens , my chemical romance , panic! at the disco (pre-split / afycso SORRY IM A RYRO GIRL 4EVER) , fall out boy , paramore , the academy is… , cobra starship , and their members you get itttt I DO LIKE A LOT MORE BANDS THOUGH🤞🤞, nu metal, vada vada , AND MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD AND HER PROJECTS. its a little random but i just wanted to say that bc I LOVE HERRRRJEHS

so yeahhhghfhh that’s kinda it for this im almost everywhere under the same user so pleaseeee see me on other platforms but especially check out my carrd bc yk it’s super radical and stuff okay BYE

[teddybeartoji]

i have a questionnnnn

do you like video games?

and do you know baldur's gate 3 and final fantasy 7?

i got into those during my last vacations and idk why it never occurred to me to ask you even tho i am obsessed with astarion and sephiroth (it's always the white haired guys my taste is so predictable) and cloud but that's another thing

the characterization in both of those games is soooo good especially if you watch almost everything ff7 related like i did (takes a while though)

anyways i felt you could do them justice if you were to write about them, especially astarion. ngl i was very disappointed when i went on socials, as usual, to consume content about the media i just watched and i was very shocked in a bad way

not by the quality, there's just tons of thirst edits for example and while i agree his character is pretty and everything, it kinda hurt cuz it just went against his WHOLE character arc ... i was very disappointed with the fandom haha

same with sephiroth, though i didnt resent as much cuz his story isn't about the fact of being sexualized against his will

UGH I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING -

anyways yeah i love media in general, series/movies/games you name it as long as there's a story or just one character that i rlly like i'll love it

so i was wondering what games you liked... or media in general at this point, except the movies you posted about

also no pressure but is there a system with asks? are they removed from your inbox if you answer them? are they automatically deleted after some time? just to know cuz i haven't gotten an answer to mine and i'm scared i might've said something bad! esp since i read badly your rules and didn't see a negation and maybe said smth about looking forward to a next part :') smh

HELLOO NONNIEE:3333 I LOVE VIDEO GAMESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i have only heard abt baldur's gate and final fantasy sadly!!!! i have nothing against them they just don't necessarily seem my type of games.. BALDUR'S GATE CHARACTER CREATION SEEMS SO FUCKING FUN THOUGH OMFGGG

and i've definitely seen and heard a lot of astarion!!!!!!!!!! i've also seen some stuff abt him being really overly sexualized right????? his character seems so cool i would love to get to know him better wahh i really do wanna try baldur's gate one day!!!!!!! and unfortunately i only know sephiroth by name too:((( i'm sorry to disappoint u nonnie baby:(((

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH VIDEO GAMES I LIKEEEE!!!!! my all time favourite is definitely the last of us part 2!!!!!!!!!!!! i am on my like... sixth playthrough on that lmao i'm doing it on grounded so yk wish me luck!!!!! anywayy i ofc like the first one too but man.. the second one hits harder for me tbh. then i really fucking love ghost of tsushima, i'm actually replaying it rn too hehe.

honorable mentions go to rdr2, until dawn, the newest dead space remake, god of war, disco elysium, the resident evil games, assassin's creed (i know a lot of ppl don't like these all that much but idk i think they're really fun!! esp black flag and odyssey)(ok i am biased bc these were like my first games ever lmao), days gone (this is another that most think is rather lame but again.. i think it's really fucking fun i have nothing against it) aaaand death stranding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahh so many games damn i might've forgotten some but these are some that i really love!!!!!!!!!!!! i have played almost all of them multiple times too lmao that's crazy

for overall media i'd just give a lil shoutout to the 'mindhunter' series on netflix!!!!!!!!!!!!! i absolutely fucking looove that show!!!!!!!! i've seen that multiple times too i love the characters and just the way it's done overall!!!!!!!!! also 'manic' i think that's a netflix one too.. that's a really short one but idk it changed me okay i think it's fucking great

OMGG AND WAAAHHH TRUST THAT I STILL HAVE YOUR ASK!!! I AM JUST REALLY SLOW WITH ANSWERING THEM SO I AM VERY SORRY ABT THAT!!!!!!! and you definitely haven't crossed any lines either, so it's one hundred percent on me!!!!!!!!! the thing is that i get a bit overwhelmed when i have to answer things which sounds ridiculous bc I LOOOOVEEEE TALKING TO YOU GUYSSS my brain just sucks okay i'm sorry

[bramblemantle]

question meme thing, tagged by @nosongunsung11 ( o/ !!)

tagging: uhhhhhh let’s say @lupathemoth and @a-little-monotonous ! as well as anyone else who’d like to use this format

share your wallpaper: it used to be ace attorney for a really long time, now it’s blaseball. i don’t tend to change visuals often

lock screen is this artwork of Parker by @ HORSEIZONTAL on twitter

home screen is this Jaylen artwork by @ 0re

my laptop lock screen is that title screen artwork of Revachol from Disco Elysium, home screen is this, don’t know what the original source is but it’s on a lot of wallpaper sites. miiiight be wallpaperstock dot net ?

last song you listened to?: i’m listening to music all of the time but as i’m writing this i’m listening to Hail To Whatever You Found In The Sunlight That Surrounds You by Rilo Kiley. in general i’ve been listening to a lot of the Garages and Paramore. so i’m also linking Ignorance bc i keep getting it stuck in my head

currently reading?: i’m rereading the Animorphs series for the first time in years! this is actually the first time i’ve read the series in its entirety, as my personal collection grows sparse after book 30 so there’s some i’ve never read. i’m currently on book 36 out of 54! (plus the extras in there whenever they fit chronologically)

last movie you watched?: uhh i don’t watch a lot of movies. technically Sing i think? i was playing totk and sitting with my 7 y/o brother. he wanted to watch Sing but he got distracted before the end of the movie and turned it off. if we’re talking about movies i watched for me then there’s a good chance it was the new Puss in Boots movie or Into the Spider-Verse but it’s been like a couple months

craving: toasted bagel. butter on it. the good stuff. the creamy kind of butter. tim hortons does it right. also i could go for some dark chocolate

what are you wearing right now?: uhhhh some kinda kapris (?) with grey flower and triangle patterns, and a muscle shirt (?) i was just gifted with pride flags on it. it’s hot as balls. if it weren’t hot as balls i’d have on one of my fave tees, and my Houston Spies bomber jacket or one of my beloved long coats

how tall are you?: 5’2” and a half, which i only found out last year when i finally asked at a visit with doctors

piercings?: nah i’m too much of a baby abt the pain and don’t want to deal with maintenance, but they look cool as hell on anyone

tattoos?: same as above but i’m more likely to be tempted into getting something small someday

glasses? contacts?: i’ve been wearing glasses since elementary school, they’re an all day necessity for me. i gotta get new ones, i’ve had these lenses for years and the frames for even longer whoops. the prescription definitely doesn’t line up anymore

last drink?: iced capp from tim hortons hehe. i don’t consume a lot of caffeine but that shit slaps and cold drinks are a must in this weather

last show?: i also don’t watch a lot of tv! uhhhhh i’m drawing a blank. there’s a chance it was Centaurworld but that was a WHILE ago (and i’ve been thinking of rewatching it soon)

favourite colour?: purples and teals. also browns when there’s a saturated accent colour with it

current obsession?: split between Blaseball (the brainrots been going strong since october) and several different groups of ocs. and also Animorphs i missed Animorphs so much i love Animorphs. fundamental to my childhood. i’m getting back to my roots

unrelated obsession?: not quite sure what this is asking! but Tears of the Kingdom is Up There as well, i’m trying not to rush through the game but i’m finding it very hard to put down ^-^’

or actually if that question is asking about obsessions not tied to any fandom. it’s prehistoric animals and/or bats :]

any pets?: there’s a lot of animals i know and interact with throughout the week. i live with a dog (old chihuahua named Prince) and 3 cats (Charming, Bella, and Mr. Kitty). of those, Mr. Kitty is My Cat part time. he loves my granny a lot too, he’s always either in my room or hers, snuggled up near one of us. he’s one of my best friends he’s so important to me :] my silly little guy

do you have a crush on anyone?: i still am not sure what that’s supposed to feel like and if i have ever felt it before but no i don’t right now. just love and admiration for my pals 🫶

favourite fictional characters: there’s so many my guy. i have a tag for blorbos that live in my brain. the ones on my mind a lot recently are a bunch of Blaseball players, the kids from Animorphs (in particular Rachel, Tobias, and Cassie. the latter two were always tied for favourite when i was a kid but i’ve also found a new appreciation for Rachel as well. man. these kids), the iterators from Rain World, the satellites from 17776/20020, Emmet & Ingo from Pokemon, the list can go on and on and on

last place you travelled?: uhhhh i don’t get out much! i haven’t left the valley i live in for years. i don’t know how far away ‘travel’ has to be to count as travel, the last trip i’ve been on might have been a family vacation into the states? in any case i didn’t go anywhere noteworthy in the past year or more

[funnywormz]

gotta ask about gremlin boi Cuno (and also C if you want hh)

CUNO TIME!

first impression: im gonna be honest i just found him deeply annoying and his voice grated on me lol it took a few conversations for me to warm up to him

impression now: ouugh the scrunkly........ cuno is such a fun character but also So So Deeply Sad. i only want good things for him in the future. i would also let him infodump to me abt his fictional city if he was prepared to talk abt it

favourite moment: hm. cuno says a lot of shocking yet humorous stuff, but more than that i think my fav moment with him is the aforementioned locust city stuff. would love to know more abt it. also whenever he gets genuinely enthusiastic abt the idea of harry and kim being gay for each other LOL

idea for a story: i don't think i rlly have any

unpopular opinion: although i think harry and cuno being friends could be helpful for both of them, i don't think it would be remotely feasible or healthy for harry to be a father figure to cuno long term like what gets portrayed in fan content sometimes. im not particularly passionate abt this or anything it's just my personal take

favourite relationship: despite the previous answer lol, it's gotta be his friendship with harry. considering how negatively things begin with them, it's rlly interesting to see how things can develop between them

favourite headcanon: neurodivergent cuno. very very real

-

doing c/cunoesse too like you said bc i love her.......

first impression: i thought she was cuno's sister at first lol. i honestly didn't register her much at first, i feel like she's one of those characters that continues to grow on you the more you encounter her or think abt her

impression now: poor cunoesse....... poor little demon child............. even in better endings for cuno she's just left there alone in martinaise. what happened to her to make her the way she is........ i would love to know. disco elysium cunoesse spinoff when

favourite moment: ough i love the various little moments where her facade cracks a tiny bit and you can see that she genuinely does care abt cuno despite it all, and when she gets upset when cuno expresses vaguely suicidal thoughts. she's a person she does care abt him shes just deeply messed up

idea for a story: i always had a vague idea abt writing something abt what happens to her in the route where cuno is harry's partner in solving the case, like what happens to her after they leave martinaise. but i never got round to actually writing anything and my memories of the ideas are pretty foggy now 😔

unpopular opinion: i think it's sad when both the game and the fandom talk abt cuno but act like she isn't important or doesn't exist. yes she gets less direct character development than cuno but she's so fascinating and so sad and i wish ppl talked abt her more

favourite relationship: her friendship with cuno, how she genuinely cares abt him bc he showed her an act of kindness........ it's sad that he doesn't seem as attached to her as she is to him, and i hope she can form connections with other ppl in the future, but her friendship with cuno and the shenanigans they get up to are not only entertaining but also kinda touching at times

favourite headcanon: a while back i saw a fan theory that she's actually the gnome of geroma and it's one of my favourite de headcanons of all time. it's real to me. sometimes a little girl can be a venomous gnome beast as a treat

[quenthel]

oughughug ed stuff (also some tmi stuff)

i have been recovering from my ED pretty well... learning how to enjoy meals and not overeat all the time im even a little bit distressed/ reward myself with other stuff than food so my relationship to meals have changed... i also got much more into cooking than i was bc of dunmeshi too and i enjoyed the philosophy of cooking and eating meals from that manga so much legit helped me a ton to think about it more and really internalize it. Like reading that manga really made me reconsider what i think of food and that made it easier for me not to fall back into old bad mindsets as much (but i do sometimes still its a work in progress)

And like I lost a lot of weight bc of this (i just eat a little less move a little more and give more time and thought to my meals) like its been still a struggle for me esp in the beginning and by this point im losing weight very slowly like it took me 8 months to lose 10kg while the first 8 i lost in like 2 months. And while this food journey was overall good for my mental my body got much much weaker psychically esp my endurance because its a large change. Im not sad about it because being overweight (and still being overweight lol) was making me miserable (and the societal hatred for fat people was part of that ofc, but also mostly it was caused by some beliefs i have about my own self worth its a big issue) but I feel like no weight loss post or story or anything talks about this. I also started to exercise and so far some of it has been harder but some of it has been easier. And i still need to work a lot on appreciating my own body and truly inhabiting it in a sense like being at peace with it and not fighting it and connect to my own body as its part of myself and not just something im in. Like its part of me. Funnily enough the times i really felt that connection were the times I was spending a lot of time together with other people like irl (when i had a huge friend group and we drank a lot together or when i was w my ex lol).

Like at this point i weigh less than i ever remember weighing (even in my teens lol) and i still have a long way to go. But i would not have done it without being supported by my friends and parents like i dont think anybody can come out of toxic mindsets without opening those doors and asking for help or knowing that they HAVE to do it for other people (like my dad recovering from alcoholism because he was scared he will die before seeing my brother and me grow up). Also its funny that around the time i started really thinking abt my own body and my health and really asking for help (in therapy too) to make me truly healthy, not working on it in isolation like i did after beating disco elysium was around the time i started thinking abt being trans too. Like realizing that my body is me made me think more about my own gender too. I’m also thinking a lot abt starting HRT but that would be impossible for me bc of my country (idk if i can even do that abroad but maybe...) but I don’t want to yet since I want to establish my body mind connection first and THEN see if i still feel like I should.

Anyway im around halfway done with my weightloss plans and its been 9 months. I originally wanted to recover fully and reach that weight and develop habits to exercise regularly in 2 years but since im moving soon i might not be able to focus on this as much or maybe its going to get easier... who knows. I still feel like I’m a work in progress tho both bc of therapy and bc of this but also because i really feel like im JUST starting to become more of an adult because im thinking about these things (and its making me more sad that i cant be financially independent yet but im trying to be patient). But it feels like im currently at a point of my life when im changing for the better overall and while I struggle a lot its not as bad as it was before so thats pretty hopeful...

[www-pinkhearse]

This got long and honestly so im putting most of this under a read more. Im writing this quickly i just have so many thiughts

I think the problem i have with fanon Jean is that they treat him more like a tsundere and less of like, a complex character with harmful preconceived notions regarding mental illness (especially memory problems) and his job in law enforcement who ultimately got tired of trying to see the best in Harry after their lengthy paternship, resenting him for his bad work behavior that rendered him as Harry’s crutch.

Harry’s more drastic and unceremonious mental decline happened shy of 4 months prior to the game as a result of his promotion, and how Jean didn’t seem to support him through that while Judit, considers him her friend even if she was transferred to the precinct 2 months before the game’s happenings, probably showing how torn down he is from his codependent partnership with him.

Like, Harry and Jean are interesting to be cause they kinda show the trauma-bond that law enforcement as a job puts officers through and how it results in codependent relationships that are mutually harmful. I can empathize with Jean’s resentment towards Harry due to his track record while also absolutely disliking the behavior he shows towards him as a man who just forgot everything. Calling him insane and such.

I really hate the way that a lot of ppl who like Jean take it as an excuse to shit on Harry, demonising the struggling addict is not the hot take you think it is and its rlly annoying when ppl act like Harry isn’t worthy of love due to his struggles ESPECIALLY when ppl joke abt him having poor hygiene cause jfc “hahah depressed hasnt taken a showered since his wife left he doesnt deserve the only man who sees goodness in him” is jusy so fucking demoralizing to see as a depressed person who struggles with similar shit.

Like, Jean is absolutely ALLOWED to be impacted by the years and years of partnership with Harry but its not weird for me to wish that he’d show just a bit more compassion to him and dislike its lack of and how much the fandom weirdly gets off on it like its a revenge fantasy for any addict that has wronged them in their life.

This whole idea of addicts being unlovable is absolutely wild in the year of our lord 2024(..25??? It just began).

Disco elysium is my favorite game cause everything character is amazingly complex and honestly the bastardization of it drives me NUTS.

[disco-asphodel]

i need to share some of the tags ppl have put on this post. bc they are poems and they made me cry and i think they need to be read

#i keep telling my friends when recommending the game#often stories abt hope are difficult for those that have despaired#bc they boild down to “just believe✨”#and its easy bc there's so clearly smth to believe in in them#but DE shows you the deepest abyss#kneels in it bathes in it#have the despaired go “see?? it gets it!!” as they lie down with it#and then it floats on its back in the abyss and looks up at the stars#a story brave enough to engage with the abyss that tears me up as well#and then even braver still says “there's smth here. you're still alive. as long as you are there is still a chance”#even if you're the most despicable deservedly downtrodden guy you can get a chance#there's beauty in this world. in this ugly cold abyss#thats true hope for me. that's bravery. strength#labern#things of substance#also with how understanding the game is with substance use. not forgiving but understanding.#and how failure is an integral part of the experience. smth u get more out of often#more touching or introspective.#and crucially#more chances to try again and experience smth new#more chances to feel and hope#cries#The simplest most profound aspects of the universe are religious to those recovering from anything-- be it substance grief trauma etc. (via @cockonfetti)

#Ohhhhhh.... Ahhh...#I want to replay in the spring. It's a perfect early spring game#The late winter blooming into hopeful spring... That is the exact time of the year the game takes place in#I think the game will resonate with me in a new way when I next play it as an alcoholic who is clean#The game is depressing in the way that feels like home to those who have BEEN THERE.. And the hope is presents#Might seem bleak but the simple love and joy of the world around you is. And I am not exaggerating.#An addict in recovery's greatest gift from existence.#I spoke mildly on thoreau yesterday and how grief works it's way through the fabrics of transcendentalism#This game presents such a stark commonality to this thought#The simplest most profound aspects of the universe are religious to those recovering from anything-- be it substance grief trauma etc.#To see the true simple beauty of the light one must also be well acquainted with the dark beauty of a bottomless pit#Disco Elysium lays out some of the lowest lows in such stark discomfort-- but it is familiar to us.#And it also lays out hope and sheer love for the world in one of the most cathartically actionable dirty ethos I've ever seen.#Tequila Sunset will in its horrifyingly neon pain see a free simple sunrise once more ❣️#The road is discomfortingly hard. The hardest thing you can do. But existence itself is worth it.#It should make you uncomfortable. It better. But for a lot of us: that discomfort has been a home in our chests for as long as we can#Remember our own selves-- whatever those selves are or was or is becoming#Disco Elysium#Anyways...... I'm listening to a York and tex do a mission together playlist and enjoying my evening. (via @whitmanic)

#when you've hit rock bottom and there is nothing left for you--and then you come out the other end of it alive#you often really do see the world as just#so deeply hopeful and beautiful even in the ugliest parts. sometimes because you have to.#but also because--where else are you supposed to find it? why not here?#how could it not be a gift to feel the bite of the wind? how could i not find joy and beauty in a sea of sodden dead grass?#i see the concept of the pale and yes sure it's disturbing as a concept if you're unfamiliar with it#but as someone who struggles deeply with memory loss and brain fog and psychosis it's deeply relatable and beautiful in a way#idk#i resonate with this post a lot (via @peachybutch)

#same here#i am an addict and i was previously suicidal#sometimes i used to imagine just forgetting everything that ever made me this way#if maybe that would fix me#i also live in a rust belt city whos heyday was about a hundred years ago and will never come back#there are probably like ten harry du bois in my neighborhood at least and i have to hope i never become onw of them (@rot-grrl)

#disco elysium#genuinely disco elysium comforted me in ways that nothing else has#i may not have been an alcoholic#but i can see my own self-hatred sorrows and pain in harry#I've been failed so many times#yet there's still hope (via @zscribez)

#TRUUUUUUTH#im not even an alcoholic (but i am suicidally depressed) but oh my godddd when you manage to heal most of harry and fix things and comfort#people and provide silliness and joy and a stronger community even though youre still broken and in a failing system (COPS !!!!!)#ouurgghhhh#disco elysium#i love de it gave me hope it made me feel so so happy and hopeful#every time i had a Shivers moment i would weep (via @ignorancesbliss)

#and yet i continue (via @planningisnotmystrength)

realtalk but when i see dudes on steam or ppl on tumblr talking about how disco elysium made them feel pathetic and uncomfortable i just. i don’t know. i cannot relate to that at all. disco elysium is about an alcoholic amnesiac poet in love with a dying city who loves him back. if i had never been an alcoholic, if i had never been suicidally depressed, maybe i would think the world of disco elysium is a bleak one. but when you know what it’s like to go through that darkness and come out of it again? to fall back in love with a world that almost destroyed you? disco elysium is the most hopeful story imaginable. it sees the world for what it is and holds nothing back, none of the horror, none of the wonder, none of the love…

something about art comforting the disturbed and disturbing the comfortable i dunno

[space-girlllll]

OK!!!!! SO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ROUND!!!

A LOT HAPPENED SO IMMA DO A SMALL ANALYSIS AND JUST POINT THINGS OUT BCS I NEED TO TALK ABT THIS!!!

First of all, Hyuna is still bleeding from the gunshot wound of last round, and idk how long it takes for an abdominal gunshot wound to stop bleeding, but it can't have been more than a few hours, so this couldn't have happened too long after the last round. and since thats true, is it usually this short of time in between, and when did this short time in between rounds begin?

also, i'm so mad at luka but like. pop off???? he plays the fuckin violin???? hes a talented guy ig???

Hyuna stopping mizi from going after till and luka??? she looks absolutely terrified, bcs who know what could happen to her if she goes up on that stage with luka. She's worried that luka will hurt mizi and that just. :(

This scene breaks my heart tbh :( mizi running off with hyuna left watching after her terrified, bcs she feels powerless.

also!!!! in this scene??????? where you can see the blood CLEARLY still on tills pants??? did they not have him change his pants after the previous round??? he's still covered in ivan's blood thats just so- AAAAAAAAAAA

The disco ball beign earth?? that's absolutely crazy to me. like damn.

When Luka reaches out and touches till??? First of all, the lyrics specifically being 'the dark crimson air' during this part just made me think of ivan, who had red in his eyes, like, huh. and also that red behind till's ear? is that a part of his ear piece? and also speaking of the ear piece why does it glow red this whole round, when it didn't glow like that before (i think i might be wrong ;-;)

and this!! him putting his hands exactly where Ivan put his when he choked till, and especially because this is when he sings 'embraces us'? that is just. uggghhhhhhh. and also the rings on his hands are placed so specifically on each finger. huh.

And the fact that his face gets all dead, void of expression once he hides his face behind till is just scary, the way he can wipe off all semblance of emotion. also, back to till's ear piece, i can't help but be fixated on it, with how it glows red so BRIGHTLY in some scenes, and with how out of place it looks with everything else around it, idk.

Till, here, looks absolutely terrified, and so tired, he's so scared he doesn't sing the next few lines for a bit, i feel horrible for him ;-;

And again with the ear piece! he even looks in pain as pulls his hand away from it like it's causing him so much pain. i'm rly worried abt it :/

and he looks DELIGHTED that till is in so much pain, like it's funny to him, because luka is a FREAK AND WE CAN'T FORGET THAT

he's so exhausted that his weird fake guitar glitches out ;-;

THE RED FLASHBACKS OF CURE ALL GOING DOWN AND IVAN'S DEATH??? THAT'S CRAZY

AND ONCE AGAIN THE RED FLASHING EAR PIECE WHILE TILL IS LOOKING ALL DEFEATED AND HIS NOSE STARTS BLEEDING?? MY BOY IS TIRED.

OK HERE. So Ivan is looking down on till, all high and mighty, serious, scary, all cold and condescending while till is all defeated and broken down

meanwhile, behind Luka, Ivan is practically the exact opposite of the one above till. He's crying, he's dying, he's dressed as he is in cure, but one of the only things the two share is theyre both looking at Till. Even if the two images are opposites, they are always looking at till. UGH. Ok also, i feel like the two are sorta how the two see ivan?? like not completely, but it's his image in their eyes. To till, he's so far above him, he's off putting and mysterious, but to Luka ivan is pathetic, low and close to the ground, emotional and defeated. i'm not saying this is 100% how i think luka sees ivan, but its a part of it.

UGHHH LUKA MIMICING IVANNNNN. ALSO NOT THE LYRICS BEING 'LEAVE NO REGRETS' FOR THIS SEGMENT.

ALSO THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE TWO PICS ABOVE ARE EVERYTHING. Luka is mostly expressionless here, a small smirk, but other than that, his face is blank. Ivan meanwhile, despite being till seeing ivan in luka, is so much more human looking between the two. He's sweating, he's tired from the performance, his hair is slightly messy, he has sorta eyebags/crinkles from his exhaustion, his small smirk, he just looks so much more real then Luka in this moment, despite not being real at all.

AND THE CHANGE BETWEEN HIM SEEING IVAN AND THEN NOTICING MIZI!!!! FROM THE TERRIFIED LOOK ON HIS FACE WITH THE RED REPLACING HIS PUPIL, AND THE LITTLE PINK EYELIGHT AFTER HE SEES MIZI!!! INSANE.

AND SUDDENLY WHEN HE LOOKS IN THE CROWD AGAIN HE DOESN'T JUST SEE ALL OF THE RED, ALL OF THE BRIGHT LIGHTS, HE SEES MIZI, AND HE SEES THE PINK OF THOSE AROUND HER, AND NOTHIGN ELSE.

AND HE BEGINS TO SING AGAIN. AND HAS THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP FIGHTING.

LUKA IS FLABBERGASTED AT ALL THIS

AND TILL, SUDDENLY REINVIGORATED TO KEEP GOING, SINGS, AND ALSO THE EAR PIECE GOES GREEN.

Luka seems genuinely annoyed at this and im so sorry bcs at this point im just narrarating whats happening im not good at analysis sorry ;-;

AND HERE!! WHERE TILL TRANSITIONS FROM THE DARK GREEN ALL AROUND HIM TO MIZI'S SOFT PINK!!! HE'S INSPIRED AND HAS HOPE. ACTUAL HOPE.

AND THE PINK ALL AROUND THEM IS SO SWEET, THEY'RE REACHING OUT TO EO, MIZI HOPING TO SAVE TILL AND TILL SO DESPERATE TO BE SAVED ONLY FOR HIM TO GET SHOT IMMEDIATELY AFTER?? UGH.

the absolute horror and pain in mizi's expression as she watches till fall ;-; he was the last person left from before, and now mizi's is all alone.

OK IMMA CONTINUE THIS IN ANOTHER POST BCS THERES A LIMIT TO HOW MANY IMAGES BUT JUST YOU WAIT. IM COOKING HERE I SWEAR.

[nathanialhowe]

sometimes its not just about romance but its about something more thn that and its all about love you know what i mean

[nadekofannumber1]

I think the fact that while disco wensdayyy is a novel I didn’t have a good time with while reading I still look back on it semi fondly as a piece of metafiction and a well structured interesting mystery is so fucked up for me.

I like thinking about its world and the caveats of the world and shit. If you don’t let yourself get immersed in the mystery while solving you’re gonna find the concepts of what they’re doing stupid on the outset. And yet it raised the bar on how I view mystery, I’m no expert in jmystery but the novel by its hyperparodymeta aspects it kinda had me lock in to concepts and themes of the genre. It allows one to see where some tropes of jmystery come from, not this book but something way back in the past like jdc.

Jmystery tropes are often first experienced for a lot of ppl via danganronpa (ace attorney does have some tropes in a way but it really feels more easily related and grounded in western style courtroom drama tropes so people often don’t as easily detect it).

I can read jmystery and not think of disco but whenever I get to something like in the same niche I get thinking again. I’m helping a friend through raincode who isn’t the best at mystery/puzzle solving, and boy, being semi into the jmystery circlejerk niche (basically what I call the shit where Japanese mystery authors get so into writing genre fiction of subgenres it feels a bit like ur banging ur head against the wall bc it’s so predicated on preexisting genre knowledge it collapses like a black hole.) has never been more something. Moral of raincode is you should just play ai the somnium files i think. Raincode at least makes nice anime backgrounds, it’s aesthetic I’ll give it that. But kodaka’s major weakness as a writer is that he doesn’t do short form storytelling well enough to make raincode work and the lesser intrigue makes some of the more traditional aspects of the mysteries less interesting.

Disco wensdayyy on the other hand is gonna haunt me as long as it can. It has aspects I certainly dislike (very much so), but other parts shine through. It’s stupid but really committed in a way where you can’t ignore whatever’s going on. Car crash type media, wdym the mystery is actively making itself more complex until the right detective solves it, the narrative implodes in a way that would piss of many battle boarders if they could read something like this. The narrative is fully recursive. You may come up with questions abt the narrative and how the world works and the answer is “whatever you believe XOXO”. disco is problematic in ways I find gross (honestly the author just kinda has a thing for these sorts of bizzare age things, like other child abuse stuff was disturbing but I feel like the horror fit the atmosphere well and was gross in a way that wasn’t particularly shown as appealing, there’s also a lot of strange subtext you can pick up on here or there bc it’s just that kind of story so it leaves you asking questions you could come up with answers easily to “is disco pro life as a narrative? Absolutely” “How do things like being trans work in the disco verse? Honestly I think for some they’d simply physically start transitioning the moment they believe in their gender bc they’re warping the universe for this if ur born like amab or afab in the disco verse but are trans you might just swap genders at birth if ur eternal soul knows what it is, like disco is def a mind is more important than the body so mentally being something is more important than physically. I’d suppose if one were nonbinary or intersex they’d just become the gender body they believe aligns best to them, honestly this can apply to binary trans ppl as well. Discoverse has weird caviats so you may not get bottom surgery depending on things, is ur fetus soul gonna transition thread locked.” “Is plot point X ableist or not? I’m torn on that subject bc like you could prolly argue for both but I’m leaning yes bc by the end I was just too fucked up to process it, I think on a reread I could get a better understanding but that reread is prolly gonna happen years from now.”

Maybe some of these questions are relevant to social circle, but I feel by reading other works by the same author the functions of the mystery world mechanics are actually very clear bc the author loves writing stuff like this, you can understand just by reading Jorge joestar. So a lot of the questions I’m left with are about the thematic intent, like “why is being a detective so homoerotic?”

There’s way more I could ramble about but I’ll stop for now because I got my feelings out and my brain is experiencing a numbing ache from thinking abt disco wensdayyy too much consecutively without breaks or aids.

Apologies for rambling and talking about things that didn’t matter, I just needed to get feelings out no matter how embarrassing.

I’ll read tsukumajuku later, he’s no fav author but he’s interesting so it’s worth looking at

I feel like reading Disco detective wensdayyy was a cognitohazard level event for me,

this things lives in my head rent free and for what

[ftm-megamind]

some general Chad/Ryan headcanons!!

their favorite things abt each other - i think Chad really loves Ryan's smile, like a genuine smile, not a forced one, just an actual happy smile. and Ryan mostly smiles like that because of Chad which makes him even more ecstatic!! and also Ryan's irony and sense of humor in general

as for Ryan, he definitely loves the sorta "hidden" side of Chad (him being really romantic and clingy or sensitive emotionally in general, but also really smart and witty); that usually surfaces when they're alone and they can feel comfortable, and definitely Chad's eyes (they're very expressive i imagine!!)

in class, they probably pass a ton of notes to one another, or when they sit together they just write to each other on a piece of paper and giggle about it (mostly something they find funny - like something in the workbook or something the teacher said) and sometimes they're so hysteric they try so hard not to laugh that they cry

and also when something outrageous or absurd happens they look at each other like at the cameras in the office (if you know what i mean???)

i imagine Ryan is pretty insecure about playing sports because of how he was treated (read: experience with homophobic guys that were so mean that he just gave up whatever sport he was doing, probably baseball) but then when he plays Chad is smitten (lets face it he loves sports and he probably finds the way Ryan pitches or shoots a hoop borderline poetic)

Chad is probably shy to sing but when he does his voice is really beautiful and he puts his heart in it and Ryan is just :heart eyes:

their dream dates - ROLLER SKATING TO DISCO MUSIC 100% AND THEN GETTING MILKSHAKES AFTERWARDS

but also driving somewhere far at night, listening to mixtapes which they made for one another and stopping to look at the stars or maybe dance a little bit under the night sky :)

and also karaoke

Chad had to take a lot of time to come out to the group i think, just because he was a little worried after all

so when they were official and Chad was so happy and excited to announce it, everyone just told them that they been knew, because i mean... what kinda friends hold hands and look at each other with dreamy smiles

also Sharpay's approach to Chad.

at first sharpay was very hostile towards Chad (in a protective way, she just said stuff like "if you break my brother's heart i'll ruin your life") but as time went by and the more Ryan told Sharpay about how wonderful Chad is she warmed up

i think they talk sometimes about the kardashians episodes

and maybe when Sharpay goes shopping she even invites Chad and makes him try on certain clothes, and proceeds to buy them for him, because "if you want to date my brother you have to dress properly"

gabi is defintely a big ally and stands up for Chad and Ryan when needed, and so does Troy, except he just doesn't grasp the concept of being gay, much less HATING someone for being gay. and it took him so long to figure out that there's something going on between Chad and Ryan. Gabriella had to explain to him that Ryan didn't want to steal Troy's best friend all for himself, he just wanted to date him

gabi and ryan are DEFINITELY besties. i mean it was literally shown in hsm2

they frequently hang out and do each others' nails and watch some cheesy romcoms and gush about Chad and Troy

and also they both sit on the girlfriend row and attend all of their boys' practices and gossip so much

as for Chad and Troy... Chad talks about Ryan more than Troy talks abt Gabi (impressive)

they definitely had bro nights since like. forever. but after the lava springs baseball incident Troy noticed that Chad is sometimes distracted by texting Ryan and he would often go on and on about how amazing Ryan is. and troy of course didn't get it and had the "ok but its our sleepover" approach, and he was honestly a bit jealous

Chad had to tell him that "no Troy hes my boyfriend."

so Troy is like OOOOOH and since he's heard so much about Chad's significant other, he asks whether he can tell Chad more about Gabi, and Chad of course says yes and Troy is smiling like a little boy (probably the first time Chad's seen him so head over heels and displaying it fully)

im sure they giggle together a bit too

and they play dumb games like "3 things i like most about them" or something

prom time!!! before everything, Ryan took Chad shopping and bought them both matching suits

and Chad surprised ryan with a corsage the color of Ryan's suit, and when Ryan saw it he probably cried a little bit because he quite literally experienced the teenage dream of going to prom with the love of his life AND getting a corsage

when they got to the party they were both a little nervous at first and had to take a little break, so they went outside and watched the stars together

and they promised each other to be together forever, and they planned their future, like Chad picking a uni that's close to juilliard so they could see each other as often as possible

then after graduating they decided they want a cozy apartment in new york and travel around the world, then of course get married when it would get legalized, adopt a kitty and all of this while still being best friends with Troy, Gabi, Kelsi, Tay and everyone else

and then they probably had some smoochy time but eventually got back inside and danced the night away

bonus: chad being stupid but in a way that he sees Taylor and Kelsi giggling together and acting very obviously gay and he's like "oh i didn't know they were friends!! seems like they're pretty close :))" (clueless)