#i would put this under a readmore but im on mobile

[hustlerose]

finally finished FILTH by irvine welsh. i stand by what i said abt it before. this book would put 99% of puritanical twitter geeks in the fucking hospital

if the middle third (or even the middle half) of it was removed or reduced, this might be my new favorite novel. as it stands, there's so little plot in there, it really drags. until the ending, of course, which is the best thing i've read in a long time

i can see the argument that the lack of plot is a positive, though. filth is a study of bruce robertson as a character. the murder mystery plot is secondary. and the directionlessness serves to donstrate that bruce's life fucking sucks. this is the life you get when you act like robbo: hollow, dull, aggrivating, gross, full of petty bullshit, and slowly getting worse.

if he actually did his job, or had deep relationships with other people, this would be a normal detective novel. instead, it's an experimental scottish acid trip. it's a slow drop down a bottomless pit

and i love this character. he really is good enough to make you keep reading, plot or no plot, just to see him do stuff. he starts already depraved, and only gets worse. he is disgusting in very ordinary, human ways, even while everything ramps up to absurdity. every aspect of him is horribly plausible. i saw myself in him sometimes, and felt sick

thats whats so compelling abt characters like humbert humbert or patrick bateman. you hate him, obviously, but we've all been that guy once or twice, just a little bit

no spoilers, but the ending is amazing. it reminded me of lolita in a lot of ways. its the same sudden gut punch, where we see what other ppl really think of the main character. he thought he was soooo smart, so in control, the master manipulator. he thought everyone would see him as the most masculine, powerful, interesting guy in the world. what a fuckin joke

btw someone on the disco elysium team was definitely a big fan of this book. the fascism, the loser cop archetype, the divorce, the focus on character over plot, the dreamlike introspective stuff. the mix of comedy and tragedy, condemnation and empathy. it all fits so well. it would be pretty easy to make a hdb who's basically an alternate universe robbocop

[bandit-savage]

I often wonder at my own greed. I don't want money, not any more than I need to live a comfortable life. But I want love. So. Very. Badly. I want it so much it hurts. I want it like my lungs want oxygen, and I burn the same way in its absence. I have a lover already. A handsome, silly boy that I love to the ends of the earth and back. And despite our problems I'm sure he loves me the same. But for shame, he's not enough. There are others. Others I yearn for. Others I crave, in flesh and breath and soul.

And I shouldn't, oh I shouldn't.

For they love me already, in the ways that should be enough. In the way you love a sibling, in the way comrades pull each other through hell. In the way I already love them too...

God, it should be enough. Why isn't it enough? Why do I dream of their bodies pressed against mine? Why do I steal glances in the way a friend shouldn't? Why do I turn green with envy when I see the way they're already loved?

It's not fair. It's not fair to them. Why should they be desired by such a wretched, ugly thing? They are happy, loved as they should be, as they're deserved, by individuals fit to do so. What is so kindly given already is a gift, a blessing. It should be enough.

Please forgive this greedy fool. Why is it not enough?

[fataliitea]

I just finished playing The Su1c1de of Rachel Foster and... hoo boy, really wish I'd done some research before blindly playing it.

some of the actual game mechanics are good, the sound design is nice, the map is confusing but kinda adds to the overall feel...

but really wish I'd known it was like That™️ before playing

[sunnnfish]

Due to the mental anguish I am rambling about tbhk. I WAS going to put this under a readmore but that keeps breaking the post on mobile so. Im sorry. Tons of spoilers for chapter 99. And like the whole series. You know how it is.

I feel like I need to make an itemized list because there’s so fucking much I need to talk about right now

The violence and parallels to tsukasa. I mean who can forget tsukasa prying mitsubas mouth open to feed him number 3s heart. Who knows what tsukasa’s intentions were but they weren’t necessarily bad— as we know now mitsuba needs to eat to survive plus number 3 was like a pretty big power boost that would keep him together for a longer time. So he likely just wanted mitsuba to live comfortably. BUT ALSO there’s the beginning of the chapter where tsukasa tells mitsuba to dig the heart out himself vs kou who gets it for him. Anyways. With kou here it clearly came from a similar place of wanting mitsuba to not disappear. There’s a desperation to it and fear and it’s one I personally actually know quite well. I’ve dealt with friends refusing to eat and take care of themselves and it is a violent frustrating feeling that just ends with crying after the anger fades. There’s a lot of confusion like. Why do you not care about yourself as much as I care about you. Anyways. His actions make a lot of sense to me bc I have felt and done the exact same things.

Me core ^

and THEN there’s mitsubas feelings of wanting to be fucking exorcised and going to the fucking minamoto household to do it there’s so much here hang on. Like. I think he went to the minamoto house for some sliver of hope. If he wanted to for sure disappear he probably could’ve waited it out or something better but he went to the place where, depending on who answered the door, he’d either die or be faced with fucking. Kou minamoto. And the fact the he chose to reveal himself to kou it’s like. Did you really want to disappear. Did you really. And then taking him out on a fucking date basically like. You don’t want to disappear do you. You just don’t want to be. This. He wants to be human. He wants someone who will understand him and. And. Kou so readily accepts and understands him. Even the parts he thinks are ugly or unworthy. Fuck.

AND THEN. Kous feeling of inadequacy and fearing that mitsuba trusts tsukasa more than him and connecting to the vision he saw in the red house. Whether he accepts it or not he wants mitsuba to need him. The red house showed him a mitsuba who told him that he needs kou that he wants kou to be a supernatural with him and he brushes it away knowing mitsuba would never say that to him. He tells himself that mitsuba would never trust him or want him like that but he wants it to be real and he’s still hurt when the real mitsuba won’t open up to him. And it all comes back to his overall self worth issues of wanting to be strong and dependable and worthy.

AND this is all under the context of Teru finally letting kou have some responsibility and telling him to go exorcise the low level spirit that came near their home and AaaaaAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUU. KOU MINAMOTO……..

God its just. Kou minamoto cares about mitsuba so so so much and neither of them completely understand the gravity of it all. Also at this point hes said like 3 times that mitsuba is the root of all his worries. ALSO dont even get me started on the art and expressions this chapter. It’s so gorgeous like as always but. God. Also the keychains. Im gonna[blaring truck horn]

ALSO the way mitsuba says at the end like ‘you’d be lonely without me’ or whatever and kou almost looks shocked for a second like. Oh. And its like he thinks about it more and cries more because yeah, he would be lonely. He’s been lonely. Mitsuba somehow inexplicably became like his closest friend that knows everything about him and god he was lonely when mitsuba disappeared. The first time and the second. And he’s barely had time to process any of it because to everyone else around him mitsuba doesnt really. Matter. And because kou is so kind he is always putting everyone else’s problems in front of his own. The severance happens and it becomes a journey to help nene bring hanako and aoi back—next to no mention mitsuba aside from the leads to the red house, much less trying to find and save him too. The whole time theyre in the boundary to the far shore its all about hanako and nene and number 6. And there’s STILL the conversation about how to become a supernatural that he brought up with nene but noooooo we cant ever know anything about what kou wants. And like. It all comes back around this chapter because he so so selfishly wants mitsuba to live. One of the only things he lets himself want. And it aches. God. I wish i was any good or natural at prose writing because god the things i would write about minamoto kou. AND TO TOP IT OFF HES LIKE FUCKING 14 YEARS OLD…. Okay. Okay im done.

[fallenclan]

howdy there, i’d like to submit a fic but im not sure how to add a readmore, (im on mobile website), would you know how to do that? i’ve looked it up, but everything i’ve tried hasn’t seemed to work.

Thank you! :)

howdy! if you submit or send the fic in an ask, I can go ahead and make a new post for it and put it under a readmore myself :3

[wygolvillage]

thoughts on the alleged 4chan nocturne leaks:

(would put this under a readmore but im on mobile)

-richters possession arc being caused by annettes death is exactly what i feared but the thing about her choosing dracula over him because hes "too priveleged and rich"- AND DRACULA ISNT????- is insane like genuinely insane. literally in rondo her Big Character Moment is her threatening that she would rather kill herself than choose dracula. are you insane

-the lack of explanation for dracula is really funny to me

-"alucard and maria have awkward sex in the caverns" i fucking hate everything im going to kill you

-all of it sounds bad

-i dont have anything to add it just all sounds so bad. so bad!!!

[whump-captain]

Whump Challenge

I got tagged by @sasuga-whump to do this great challenge! Ill put it under a readmore bc it's quite long but i had a blast (◡‿◡)

I'll tag @deepwoundsandfadedscars @thatsgonnaleaveamark @set-phasers-to-whump @crash-bump-bring-the-whump @whumpapalooza @whump-side @justwhumpythings @radioactiveartz and anyone who sees this on desktop rather than mobile

1. Favorite whump trope(s)?

I do love anything to do with knives - stabbing, carving, knives to throats, etc. Impaling is up there too, and fractures of all kinds.

2. Least favorite whump trope(s)?

I'm not into dehumanisation in any way, or humiliation, they're squicks in fact. Anything with conditioning is also very much not for me.

3. Top 3 whump scenes and why?

Ohhhhhh good question. Recent faves are:

A scene in Resident Evil: Village where the protagonist is strung up from the ceiling by hooks stabbed through his hands. He then has to free himself by ripping the hooks out, making the wounds worse. Not much in way of consequences because of the game's slasher-horror conventions but very good still

Hard to describe without spoilers lol but in a book i just read, there is a character who's a clairvoyant and can remember things before they happen. When another character wants to hit them with a glass bottle, they experience the pain even though the hit never actually lands - the intention is enough to hurt them. It later gets used to torture them, too. It's very unique and very fun (◡‿◡)

There's a whole sequence in the webcomic Shiloh where a character loses a fight to a mantis-like monster, ends up severely injured and thrown off a cliff into a river. His colleagues find him half-dead and rush him to a hospital.

4. Top 3 characters to whump and why?

I whump my OCs 95% of the time so i don't have many fandom faves lol. I have been enjoying some horror protagonists though - Ethan Winters from Resident Evil and Murphy Pendleton from Silent Hill: Downpour both are very hurtable and get roughed up nicely in their stories.

5. Favorite fandom for whump (show, series, etc)?

Again im not much of a fandom whumper but it's usually whatever im into at the moment - recently Silent Hill

6. Do you prefer written or watchable whump?

Oooh that's hard, i think i lean every so slightly towards watchable. They both have their wonderful parts (◡‿◡)

7. Do you also like hurt/comfort?

Yes! I always prefer the hurt lol but im also very into some good comfort

8. What do you think the difference between hurt/comfort and whump is?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ To me, whump means "the hurt part of hurt/comfort" but tbh the terms are pretty interchangeable to me. H/c is a more well-known term so i find that it tends to end up being used towards more fics, even ones that only feature it briefly.

9. How would you explain whump to someone who’s not familiar with it?

Depending on how familiar with fandom terms they are, i suppose. Either "the hurt in hurt/comfort", or "like angst, but often about the physical side", or "stories where the point is for the characters to get injured". Probably add something about exploration of vulnerability, in case they want a deeper explanation.

10. Is there any old whump you particularly enjoy? (say, pre 2000?)

Hmmmmm im sure there are some Star Wars books ive read that are from the 90s and have some good whump but i genuinely don't remember lol

11. Why do you think you like whump?

Now that's the big question, isn't it lol. There's definitely catharsis there - seeing characters allowed to express their suffering and then having it validated and soothed. It's an outlet for emotion, too, especially anger which i struggle with and can channel in a safe and controlled way onto Fictional Character Stabbings lol. I also just like the aesthetics of the kind of exaggerated violence that whump tends to feature, there's a darkly melodramatic thrill to it that im really drawn to.

12. When did you realize you liked whump?

Literally as early as i remember lol. I was under 6 wishing characters in cartoons would be put into peril, i was always into it

13. Favorite posts with whump (gifsets, picspams, etc)

I do love gifsete with my whole heart, im so constantly in awe of the amazing gifmakers we have in this community bc they let us experience the best of whump from all over the world. I also like prompt posts, @injuryprompts never fails to get my creative gears turning

14. Are you “out” to people in real life?

Absolutely Not lmao and for a bunch of reasons. Mostly because whump is something quite personal to me and wouldn't want it to be misunderstood but at the same time i don't think i could properly explain it. I also don't want people to think it's a sexual thing - which again is something commonly understood in the community but probably not so much outside of it.

15. How did you find the whump community?

I was on one of my periodic searching-for-hurt/comfort-fics sprees when i was reminded of the term by the tags - i've been aware of it as a fandom thing but always forgot about it. Then i had the idea of searching it on tumblr and then it all began lol. I was so stunned to see a whole section of the website so dedicated to it and i can't believe how long i've managed without it (◡‿◡)

16. Any unusual mediums you like for whump (plays, music, vlogs, etc)?

Hmmmmm i very much like video game whump - both actual scenes and just the natural way a character gets beat up throughout the gameplay. An unusal niche of it is, i would say, point-and-click puzzle games. It feels weird because they never have an actual protagonist lol but the plot always involves being trapped, or captive, or escaping, and that just always gets my whump imagination going lol. I like imagining a character for them, scared and injured, struggling to puzzle out their freedom.

17. Any meta about whump you’ve been dying to share?

It's mostly just an observation but im utterly fascinated by the fact that so many people are into whump from very early in life. There was a poll about it going around recently and the most picked answer was "6 and younger" and it just. blows my mind. What a strangely specific thing to be born with. I would love to study this in some way but i wouldn't even know where to start.

18. Whump fic(s) you’d love to see?

There are a bunch of writers here whose fics i would love to see continued but i'm nervous to tag them bc i don't wanna pressure them lol. In general im also always on a lookout for strong platonic friendships in stories and creative magical whump, especially with a horror twist.

19. Whump you’re looking forward to? (Maybe something teased or something you haven’t seen yet?)

I've been reading Witch Hat Atelier and recently there have been theories that some visual symbolism is foreshadowing my favourite character getting hurt in an upcoming fight. I don't want to get my hopes up too much cause it's all guesswork lol but i would very much like that (◡‿◡) Similar thing with Wilde Life, a webcomic, in which the protagonist is currently held at gunpoint - in that story, however, not much injury happens at all lol so again not holding my breath.

20. Top 3 favorite whump fics?

Hhhhhh just three???? i need some kind of bookmark system for real because i can't remember half of the stuff i read lol so these aren't my Top top 3, just things i really like

In The Woods Somewhere by @knivestothroats has to be on here because it's honestly the pinnacle of my writing goals - the flow and pacing are impeccable, it escalates the stakes so smoothly that i put it down, and it's just such a brilliant self-contained story with characters that stick with you and some scenes that i still think about, years since i've read it.

@whumpapalooza 's Space Interns also have a very warm place in my heart bc i just love the characters so much and it's not often that i want whump for Every Single Member Of The Cast but here we are

and most recently i've loved this BHTB fill by @crash-bump-bring-the-whump and its lovely prose and the ability to get me hooked on brand new characters in a single work

21. Tropes you think are overdone?

Conditioned/"broken" whumpees, to me it always seems like the same few tropes and phrases cycled around in new costumes. But i will admit that i also just dislike the trope all in all lol so im not being entirely objective here. Creepy whumpers also usually come off as cheesy, i think, because they always use the same set of kinda stereotypical and, well, overused lines. It seems like it's a go-to "default" whumper for prompts/short fics but imo it's actually very difficult to do well. Just my opinion tho

22. Tropes you think we could use more of?

Hmmmmmmmmm it would be cool to see some cool horror/magic themed whump, with strange creatures and eldritch threats. I'm also always in the market for more unique character dynamics, they can keep even the most basic of tropes fresh.

23. Favorite sites/archives for consuming whump? (question by @dammittmarie )

Honestly just tumblr lol. And ao3 sometimes if i want fanfics since it's very easy to find things there

24. Have your whump preferences changed recently? If so, why? (question by @fyeahvulnerablemen​)

I've been leaning more towards horror recently as i get more into the genre! But within it im still into the same kind of whumpees i believe lol even though they're getting less gunfights and more possessions

[the-nerdy-fangirl]

Weather rant

This is such a long rambly post it will be going under a readmore if I can do that on mobile. I cannot. Feel free to skip Im just a bit lost

Bro idk if it’s a climate change thing or what but monsoon season has started two months early and is hitting h a r d

usually we get a super wet july-august especially in the afternoons, but this year starting in the beginning of may it has just been downpours after 4 and temps in the 60s at the highest. And it has Not let up but for like a couple days

I love being under tornado watch hah a not like I am terrified of the possibility of them plus I live alone it’s just me and my dog Poe. he kept yelling at the front door - I think he can tell I am not super comfortable with the possibility of these storms developing - and now that we're in my bedroom and I closed the door He is sitting directly on me and growling at all the thunder

I went a bit prepper and put my (already mostly packed because of the threat of fire from the lightning) important go bags in my innermost room and am probably being overly cautious in that i am not going to use any running water while there’s so much close lightning but I’m hoping it will help me feel less anxious. Like I just would grab my laptop, phone , portable battery, and Poe and skeedadle into the bathroom

The rain is great but the lightning and wind are what’s getting me. And i lived in tornado alley for all of college (mostly not during tornado season though) fires and tornadoes baby. ugh.

Supposedly going to have a break for at least 2 hours so i think i will do my Duolingo and sleep until it wakes me up

God if this is a climate change thing… where’s that list. the list. Father may I have my [redacted] from the safe in your office. I have a task.

[nemainofthewater]

Part 2 propaganda for the write-in candidates under the cut:

Other

by @thelaithlyworm

by @a-gay-gremlin

#dunno if there are rules im failing to follow here#but whatever in the spirit of meow meows fuck the rules#Love Quinn#is the poorest of all meows#she only horrifically murders all those people for love#its so poetic by @satirickitty (I think this is Harley Quinn from DC comice, but please tell me if it isn't @satirickitty so I can add the proper character to the write up post at the end of the poll)

#okay so#he shouyue from yym: doe#doomed by the narrative and committing crimes because of it! by @onmyo-jin

#Wu Xie#Vote Wu Xie by @epicwalrus

#cdrama poll#wu xie#so adorably hapless#then a mob widow#then a consumptive maniac#this blorbo contains multitudes#dmbj fandom represent by @momosandlemonsoda

#ooooh wu xie!!!!#darling! by @pinkbalrog

#my taumatized meow meows#bai choufei#lei chun#heroes#syxssyx#说英雄谁是英雄#to be clear i don't ship them by @psychic-waffles

#shi mei#he did everything wrong but your honour have you considered that I love him by @travalerray

#do you know why ronghao-love-between-fairy-and-devil gets my vote?#because he OWNS it#he knows he's wrong and he's like 'the ends justify the means. to me'#and i respect that#also he is just. so sad. about his teacher's death and spiritual dismemberment#if I'm honest shen yurong is more of thr wet bedraggled type but i dislike him so i will not be supporting him at this time#(his motives make sense but also he committed Crimes against my fave so fuck him honestly)#(i DO like him as a character. but like. do i like him? no)#(i ADORE ronghao. for whatever reason. he's so SPICY)#ok EDIT if this is ranked choice voting Xie Wang from word of honor gets my vote if Ronghao loses#what an excellent poor meow meow#Unrepentant. wet. sad. bedraggled#what's not to love?#thinking avout it perhaps i am just not the sad meow meow type#i only like the ones who arw unrepentant lmao#MAN OK I keep thinking about that one face Jin Guangyao-The-Untamed makes after he tries to explain his motives at his mother's shrine#and all the people he kidnapped are just like 'cool motive. still murder'#and he looks at the sky with the MOST stressed put upon 'I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND BUT I SHOULD'VE JUST KILLED YOU INSTEAD' look#that i have EVER seen#voted rescinded#ranked choice:#first: jin-The Untamed-guangyao#second: Xie Wang from Word of Honor#third: Ronghao from Love Between Fairy and Devil#so that's a vote for Jin Guangyao i guess#propaganda#the untamed spoilers#long post#I'll put this under a readmore if someone wants to tell me how to do that on mobile) by @wanderingthunderstorm

#Wu Xie#Vote Wu Xie#also the crimes wu xie would commit would be really bonkers and fun to watch by @migratory-potato

#xunfeng from lbfad#cdrama by @circumference-pie

#meng yao#jgy by @kawayan

#this is Wen Kexing erasure and I'm not here for it by @crash-standing

Have they committed crimes?

Yes, so many. SO MANY.

Are they still my special little meow meow, sopping wet, should be allowed to commit MORE crimes?

Also yes.

By the nature of the poll, this is highly subjective - please feel free to nominate your own crime-filled blorbos if mine don't tickle your fancy! It is entirely possible for the write in candidates to win (looking at you DMBJ fandom) so feel free to coordinate, cooperate, and get your characters to the finish line!

Please do be civil though - lift your own meow meow up, don't put other meow meow down.

Have fun everyone!

Write-ins, propaganda, and images are welcome!

[silenceofthemongooses]

theres a dude in my year whos in a bunch of my classes this semester

and this man physically cannot hold a conversation without talking about how high or drunk he is or was

friendsgiving ? “YOOOO SAM I WAS SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND THEN THIS MORNING I JUST FINISHED OFF THAT BOTTLE OF WINE”

discussing teachers? “yeah he has no idea who i really am because i always came into his class high”

literally just waiting for class to start? “hey, anyone want to go grab food from [the cafe in the building]? i’m as hungry as i was last night when i had the munchies haha”

like, whatever, if you’re going to drink and smoke, i don’t care. but are you really that boring and uninteresting that you can’t hold a conversation about anything else ?????

straight up. every time i’ve talked to him. or been near him. he cant fucking shut up about it and he’s my least favorite person at cooper

[gothmonsters]

self harm is weird bc if u havent cut in like 3 yrs u forget how much it physically hurts when you cut your wrists for the first time in ages but its kinda what u want but its still a shock

[plaguedoctormemes]

In relation to the last ask I got, here is how I have organized the information in my journal so far, “Assembly of Plague and Plaguelike Knowledge”:

1. “Humorism”. Mostly explaining what it is and why we used it. People have been known to subscribe to humorist theory since the Ancient Romans all the way throughout the entire medieval period and well into the rennaissance (where it was still a belief plague doctors had) so it seemed very important to start with. Explained the four humors and their elements, and how they were supposedly related to our physical and mental health.

2. “The Bubonic Plague”. Where it came from, how it works, and how we dealt with it generally. Pretty self-explanitory. I mostly made a whole section for it for the purpose of refreshing my own knowledge, adding some info i didn’t know and in case I ever wanted to share my journal with a friend for reading.

3. “Previous Practices and the Advancements Following”. Now this part was pretty broad but here i focused on research of nunnerys and monasteries being very important for how we know medicine was done at the time because these places were very good at archiving everything in the medieval period. I would STRONGLY reccomend you look into it even if you dont want to write about monasteries and herbalism in regards to medieval medicine because it’s very fascinating!

Since i would like to LARP and roleplay as a doctor in the future, i also included information on medieval and rennaissance medical surgery, botany, and barber-surgeon battlefield surgical practices.

4. “The Beaked Men”. I actually just approached the actual topic of plague doctors and researching even more into them, mostly including information i didn’t know and keeping the info i DID know kind of brief.

After this i will be doing research on remedies, dishes, herbs and other things- labelling which ones are products of their era or things i could incorporate in my day-to-day. I may include things that I use for myself and archive the results.

Not all journals should follow this structure, of course. This is just something that I did for myself and i like to have a lot of heavy historical context into “why” things the way they were and why we did them. If you want to make a plaguecore journal, you can do whatever seems appropriate.

You can do roleplay, you can use it specifically for larping immersion, you can write about your garden or your observations in nature or you can include information about herbs and ingredients you like/would like to use.

Just thought i’d share for anyone curious 8^)

[stabbingandorbeingstabbed]

big tw for eating habits and food stuff but!!! i am awake before noon had avocado toast with everything bagel seasoning for breakfast and now i'm having coffee with oat milk and a cigarette before i work out for like 45 minutes vs the last few years of my life it was Normal for me to drive thru mcdonald's at 3 am for a Snack of two whole entire mcchickens and to never be out of bed unless i was at work and i am feeling. very proud of myself lmao

[howdy-hd]

i am! going to get sappy for a moment if you please! because a friend of mine's post made me think of something:

thank you to everyone who has ever left kind words for me about my art or otherwise, either in my askbox or in the tags.

i'm sorry if i sound like a broken record with my all caps and my keysmashing. i just literally cannot put into words how good all of you have been for me! i love receiving your asks and i love reading your tags. seeing my art have even a little bit of a positive impact on someone is worth everything in the world to me. when someone says "your art makes me happy", i just like... cannot put into words how nice that feels.

i know i probably sound like i've got my own head up my ass, and the last thing i wanna do is come off as pompous or self-centered. i'm not exactly sure how to talk about receiving praise in a way that is completely free of that implication, so i will just say what comes to mind.

i know someone somewhere might say it's unhealthy to have parasocial relationships and notes and comments and such impact your mind in such a way. and i recognize that there's a lot of you i don't know at all beyond what i see on your blogs! but i feel like your words have really put the wind in my sails these past few weeks. i'm getting more done at work and at home and it's generally been easier to wake up in the morning lol. I feel like you all are such a positive impact on my life. i feel like i'm doing something good for someone, and that i'm competent at something, which i guess is helping me to feel like i'm able to be competent at other things.

i dunno. maybe that frame of mind is dangerous and i shouldn't rely on it too much. but whatever. i just wanted to let you all know how much i appreciate you and all the kindness i've been shown here lately. normally my blog is pretty quiet and you all have made it so much fun.

[thewhirlwind]

I slept all day but I put a down payment on a baby bird a few days ago and the breeder sent me an update today that it’s a girl! And also a picture that I need to share with everyone before I try to do some drafts.

[anderson-residence]

I mentioned to my mom a few days ago that the 2 year anniversary of a game I like was coming up. And today I woke up to find she bought blue cupcakes because you can't have a celebration and anniversary without cake. Today is also another anniversary. It's a hard one to think about but worth a celebration because we got over it together.

It's has been one year since my sickly father fell down the stairs and almost died. But he made it through and he gets to have a memorial day cookout with us today. One that is traditional for the family and that he missed last year because of the accident. I'm very emotional today about a lot of things ahhhha but its good. <3

Also my rp anniversary is coming up soon. June 2018 I started writing Connor and July 2018 (the 3rd to be exact) I made his stand alone blog. And since then it grew to more muses and this blog I have today!