#this is for anyone who's still reading it tho lmao

[tojiscrack]

very small sneak peak of chapter 7 for (levi x reader) start of a new obsession:

masterlist here:

"cadet, i do not possess any form of humour that you might find entertaining," said commander erwin, stern and grave. "i am quite serious in my observation. i have noticed, however, how little excitement you have compared to our last meeting."

he was referring to the meeting where he practically slapped you in the face for defending him against that vile nile dok (you would still do it again, if given the opportunity).

"care to explain?" he prompted, when it had become clear that you would not answer without another push.

you sighed irritably.

"i'm going through something right now," you explained, half angry and half exhausted, "and it's all because of captain levi."

"did he have something to do with your suspension?" the commander questioned. you finally looked up at him and found that he looked rather curious. did he seriously not know what had happened?

"he didn't tell you?" you returned, also stumped. "aren't you guys meant to be, like, best friends or something?"

"best friend is not quite the term i'd use," he continued gracefully. 

"okay well i think you're best friends so that's what i'm gonna go with from here on out," you dismissed him, still irritable and annoyed. "section commander hange didn't know either —"

"i'll have to ask him about it later —"

"no!" you interrupted, eyes wide as you stepped in front of him and his horse to stop him from continuing on. "you can't let him know you found me. he can't know anything."

"cadet l/n —"

"if you tell him," you began, grasping at straws, "i'll shave your eyebrows and glue them to keith's head since yours are so bushy, you're hogging them all —"

the look of surprised concern had vanished from his face, now stern and firm, with all the authority you knew he carried himself with when addressing his scout members. you stopped yourself there, scratching the back of your neck nervously.

this'll all make sense once you read the entire chapter lmao. we're currently at a stunning 20k words, but i still need to write more scenes so my prediction tells me that this chapter'll have 30k words altogether, and will probably be released sometime this week (most likely next, tbh)?

[yardsards]

im like the lorax when it comes to women's body hair. we should let it grow.

[hayaku14]

Hot take: I don't think Shinichi would ever call Kaito "Kai." I don't he's ever called anyone he has cared about a nickname like that before and I don't think he's a nickname type of guy either. If anything, I think him calling you by your first name is the most endearment he can have for you (or "baro" LOL).

Kaito, on the other hand, would definitely call Shinichi "Shin-chan" just for the sake of annoying him LMAO but it's entirely possible that he says it so much that it sticks and Shinichi actually eventually lets him call him that like he does for his mom (and he lets kaito call him all the other terms of endearment too because he's weak like that lmao)

Also, I think Kaito doesn't need to be called Kai. Literally just Shinichi calling him Kaito alone would send butterflies in his stomach. Cause finally the Great Detective is calling me by name!!!! He knows my identity!!!! He knows me!!! Not KID, me!!! Just being called by his real name would already melt Kaito into a puddle that man is a goner.

Also also!!!! I think Shinichi calling Kaito "thief" gets Kaito misty eyed sometimes because Shinichi is Shinichi and he knows I'm a thief and yet he's still here despite it all. LIKEEEE "thief" is a lil funny silly goofy nickname until kaito reflects on the implications and he's all:

OKAY BUT AN EVEN HOTTER TAKE: Who tf cares about all that shit I just said!!!! You can make Shinichi call Kaito "Kai" if that's what you want, go fuckin crazy with it!!!!!

[heckhellstuff]

My AUs ? Incomprehensible

Here's a doodle dump of bestie Guide Ranging from few days to 6+ months old

I have so so so much more But my dumb little AU went off the rails so badly i have no idea if anyone would listen to my insanity- Guide mentioning she used to lead an Inquisition gave me terminal brainrot and whatever this is crawled out

[pergaminaa]

Modern au stuff for the witches and their witchlings:

Asterin does end up with her hunter, and she has two daughters although her eldest daughter is actively trying to get rid of her baby sister. At one point, she made peace with it “if Luna survives early childhood then she’s meant to live in this world” because at one point the one year old would run and hide as soon as she spots her big sister and that’s survival instinct

Vesta didn’t really plan on much she was okay with only one kid but she ended up with a boy/girl twins and she’s content with them

Manon was still very on the fence and was toying with the idea of having only one child because she’s been thinking!!!! But Asterin gave her the grim reminder “they can be twins, or triplets or—“

“You’re not helping,” Sorrel snaps at her

“I’m just stating the facts!” Because Manon, smart as she is, will overlook this detail in her overthinking and stressing. But as Sorrel said, she wasn’t helping by stating that fact.

It took Manon a while, and when she decided to have a child, she prayed to every existing diety that she only ends up conceiving one child and not multiples.

Because at one point, Manon realized that she’s happy with Dorian. Their family is perfect and she never felt more content and happy. She sat with herself for a long time, and realized that she will not let her grandmother dictate her life any longer. Her fear of becoming a mother is yet another leash around her neck. She knows that with Dorian everything will be okay. She will be okay. Their future child will be okay.

[todayisafridaynight]

THIS IS GONNA SOUND SO MEAN BUT WHY DO U LIKE RYO AOKI/MASATO

masato hot

[joshuamj]

bro i feel so bad for my classmates in my chinese class.... the difficulty has ramped up and boy are some of them struggling. I'm at a slight advantage since i had taken a slight bit of chinese before (slight, since covid interrupted it :/ ) and have a family member who can speak the language, but even i'm starting to be more unsure and hesitant in what i say. i have a feeling tho that our already small class is gonna get smaller... we havent hit the deadline for dropping classes yet.. so we might lose a few people :(

[benetnvsch]

i love how bones always animates Kunikida with pointy lil teeths- that's so cool and sexy of them - so have this,,, crooked pointy teeth Kunikida,,,, ough yea :sadthumbsup:

(not sure if i actually like this or am just Used To It after staring at it for hours until 5 am - the sketch did not look like him SOLELY bc I couldn't draw his hair right and the smile threw me off LOL - also also,, my requests,,, are open as always- even if u sent before and haven't gotten to it yet I prommy I read and appreciate and will get to them when I have more time )

[redysetdare]

I think i would like sci-fi a lot more if more stories took the evolution route to it. so many sci-fi stories focus so much on the technology side and "Let's go to space! let's see capitalist hell!" and like, yeahh those have their purpose and place in sci-fi. But personally i love when sci-fi gets speculative with biology. How will the earth change? what animals developed from changed ecosystems - which animals evolved and which ones went extinct? I want people to take the science part of science fiction and explore biology and ecology and how the planet and animals change with the world. I"m tired of it only focusing on technology and robots and being more cyber fantasy.

[that-wizard-oki]

Kids how do we feel about King Art and Malory ship?? Give me your thoughts

[danielnelsen]

Hey first I want to say that I really like your in depth posts on Dragon Age! Can I ask if you have any information and/or insights on the Jainen Circle from Legends? And do you think it's canon?

Everything That Happens Involving the Jainen Circle of Magi:

The First Enchanter is Jendrik whenever DAL is set (it's canonically sometime after the start of the 5th blight, but imo it's more specifically set somewhere from 9:34-9:37).

Sometime before you arrive in Jainen, the Circle is overrun by demons.

The leader of the local dragon cultists, Deymour, sends his lieutenant, Guillen, to kill Jendrik. If you head too far into Jainen without going to the Circle, Jendrik will die, otherwise you save him. If you save him, he's too wounded to help you so he just...leaves, I guess. He doesn't get any dialogue or a sprite or anything.

When you fight through the Circle, you fight both templars and mages (who are fighting together). I don't think you fight any demons until the very end, which has one desire demon as a boss.

The source of the demon(s) is Deymour who, as part of the overarching plot of DAL, is hosting a shard of a pride demon's soul in him. It's not explicitly stated that he summoned the demon(s), but his whole pride demon thing and also his general involvement (asking Guillen to kill Jendrik) is a pretty good indicator.

No matter the outcome, none of this is ever mentioned again.

Is the Jainen Circle Canon?

Nothing from DAL is canon.

That said, most of the game can be stretched to fit into canon (even Eiton being 'born Tranquil', fight me), and the Jainen Circle isn't any less realistic than anything else in DAL. Honestly, the main potential conflicts with canon are probably:

The times when we've been told how many circles there are (either 14 or 15; it's not even consistent). There are more than that listed on the wiki, even without including Jainen. However, quite a few of those Circles only have references from hundreds of years ago and may not exist anymore, so even 14 is enough to include Jainen as one of them.

Kinloch Hold is generally discussed in canon as THE Circle in Ferelden, replacing Denerim's Circle in 3:87. Maybe Jainen's just smaller or too remote or something, idk.

[jiminshoney]

well

[urdtarah]

i really hate how hard it is to heal from the past

[whimsicaldaydreamss]

Deep red, violet, orange

Deep Red - I’m in love with you.

Violet - I would date you.

Orange - I want to get to know you.

Anon, who are you? Have we talked before? Why are you in love with me?! I have so many questions!! Feel free to message me or send another anon or maybe even write a love letter (I’ll respond back with my own letter) 💌

[coridallasmultipass]

Personal vent and ugly mental illness symptom talk

So, I should unpack this with my therapist, but shit's embarrassing, so I'm just gonna vent it out on the public internet lmao.

I was typing out a whole thing about how I KNOW I'm aromantic, and despite that, still have moments where my brain gaslights me into believing I'm in fairytale love.

I should preface by saying I have not officially been diagnosed with either additional mental illnesses I believe that I have (B.P//D and AD//HD [which lol being on AD//HD meds since antidepressants didn't do anything has given me some notable improvement, but I'm still without a diagnosis], nor Au//tism) DESPITE repeatedly asking multiple therapists multiple times and a psych like 100 times to give me a definitive yes or a no.

But holy shit. So I'm typing about how I've 'Favourite Person'-ed multiple people at multiple points in my life across all ages, and I'm like, okay, it's been a hot minute since I refreshed my definition of that, I should make sure that's still a thing and not something I just made up or has been dropped from the symptoms or whatever the case. I wanna make sure I'm using it right in this rant about how falling into Favourite Personing people in the past has made me believe 'wait, maybe I'm not aro, this HAS to be like the deepest truest love in existence, despite my years of knowing I'm aro.' Like, I'm so aro I once calculated out the date, months in advance, I was gonna tell someone I was dating that I loved them, only because it seemed like a socially acceptable amount of time to say it. I wasn't thinking about what I actually felt lmao. (And that was probably not a FP relationship, too, so I know that was absolutely an aro incident.)

Anyways, so I'm reading a couple articles to make sure I articulate my points about how it's conflicted with being aro, and I read about how people falling into having a FP will even hate that person for the slightest perceived wrongs. (I knew this, I just was thinking about the love incidents since that's what was related to my point about being aro.)

And holy shit. That just. Unlocked a memory I have about when I was an older kid, like probably 9ish (and older), I HATED my best friend of many years and who would continue being my bff for more years. Who was my everything. I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated them. I would lie awake at night (insomnia too tho) thinking about how much I hated them and I couldn't understand why I didn't just stop being their friend and start hanging out with old friends more instead. I just couldn't do it, I wanted to hang out with THEM. I was so sick and feeling jealous of them whenever I found out they'd been hanging out with someone else one-on-one and I wasn't invited. Even when it was their own family. One time they brought me a plate of cookies by surprise for (before) a holiday that they'd just made with their cousin or something. And I felt so sick about how I wasn't there for that, it felt like an insult. I couldn't have put this into words, unless I just now read that point in an article and made a connection. It was so confusing, because usually the people who hated their 'best friend' was like, the mean girl kinda character who intentionally does it to hurt the innocent main character or something, but I was the one who felt wronged every time those feelings would come up. And this wasn't just a 'man it's so annoying when they do this specific thing.' This was active stewing, in a slow cooker, all day and all night kinda thing.

I was never romantically or sexually attracted to that person, but I probably wrote all this off as either unrelated sexuality or gender bullshit when I figured that out later. But knowing now that there was definitely someone (actually, I'm thinking of WAY more people as I'm typing this, and just realized why I stopped loving a band and started hating them 'for no reason' wow lmao) that I FP'ed who I definitely WASN'T attracted to, suddenly convinces me that I was probably right in suspecting B.P//D. (Or, y'know, maybe I don't have that specifically, and it's the symptom from a different facet of mental illness or whatever.) I've been so hung up over how I'm aro, sometimes ace, and then this 'only' happens towards people I am attracted to. Like, 'maybe it was love and I'm just terrible at it.' (No! It's not! Aro is correct! That's just the brain manipulating me to get another hit of dopamine off a FP! It's just easier to happen to someone I'm attracted to!)

It's no fucking wonder why I always worried about people hating me in secret, and it's because I was absolutely making myself insufferable because of that worry. I know for a fact that some people definitely did hate (or. Lmao. Shut up. Like, 'resented' maybe fits better) me for demanding constant attention that was never reciprocated by anyone I've ever met in my entire life.

I probably wrote-off so many symptoms as 'I was a moody teen and kind of an asshole.' Except it happened before and after I was a teen, too. I would have excused everything that happened during and before high school, when I should have been looking for these patterns I kept following for years after. It doesn't help that my first relationship was wildly toxic (mostly against me in this one case), and while I didn't feel particularly bothered by it after I got over the nightmare breakup, I just kept going 'What if it was the sole cause of all of this and I'm just repressing that?' Well, phew! No, it's not, that was thankfully just a toxic embarrassment, and not the source of all my problems. I was already on the shitstorm trajectory. That's a major relief. If you can call it that. I really don't like discussing that one, but not in a trauma way, more like a, you don't really wanna discuss pissing your pants on accident kinda way. Unpleasant to remember, wildly embarrassing to talk about, but ultimately not a life-altering event.

Ughhhhh. Maybe I should bring this (the mental illness not the relationship) up to the therapist. But like, I haven't been close friends with anyone in like 6 years or so, so I don't have any current or even recent examples about how being in friendships has always turned out Russian Roulette for me. My therapist doesn't seem to believe how bad it was for me to be in friendships where I was unintentionally FP'ing someone. Because besides the depression and anxiety (and mild OCD), I'm a totally normal person to her who's just dealing with shit health problems and grief (and frustration from being trans and not in a safe place to transition). Y'know, normal life problems most people will feel at some point, just chronic in my case. I may be weird, but I'm obviously far from the worst she's seen. I'm not uniquely mentally ill.

((Except the whole 'treatment resistant depression' diagnosis bullshit from the psych, but I'm learning it's not just mental issues I have that are treatment resistant lol.))

I tried talking to her about a small part of all this before, but IDK what I did wrong, she took it 100% as me being the one unintentionally wronged and not setting MY own boundaries (lmao), so like I don't know how to word this in a way she'd understand that most of my problems in this area were my own fault. (I mean that both negatively and neutrally, because it's an ugly side of mental illness, but not one I chose or know how to help.)

Not being in close friendships with anyone has had an understandably sane-ifying effect on me (barring the, y'know, depression/anxiety/OCD and baseline weirdness), which has gotten me trapped for the 5th time in 6 years of making my therapists believe I'm better off than I actually am. (I've done this to every therapist I've ever had before that, too.) But like, again, at least for the past 3 therapists and the latest psych, I AM actually better for not having close friends lmao. Only one therapist ever had one visit of me wanting to address these concerns specifically while they were currently active, and by the next visit, we had to shift exclusively to sudden new grief lol. (What a shitshow. It somehow always ends up that whenever I wanna treat an illness, it's like opening a can of worms, except the worms are firecrackers and I didn't set the can down and step back a few feet.)

Like, it obviously feels safer to not have close friends at all because there's no fear of abandonment if I have no one to begin with. And, genuinely, I operate better when I'm alone. But now that I've known safety, it's hard to imagine throwing myself back into the roulette wheel, hoping I don't land on red OR black. But fuck, man. It is lonely.

And being aro? It's freeing, and validating too, to have a word for it, but I'm not gonna mince words here, I hate it. I wish I could feel romantic love. Like normal, not mentally ill ""love."" I feel platonic love all the time, like for friends (not FP) always. I love saying 'I love you' to friends and meaning it. But I want to feel romantic love. I just don't. I just feel friendship, Favoriting, and/or sexual attraction sometimes. Probably why I'm so into shipping and fanfics. I got a lot more "probably why's" but I don't wanna go down that in this already vulnerable post lol. (I already made a whole post about one of the why's back in like 2013 or 14 lmao, without connecting it to this.)

Anyway, I put this whole mental illness and relationships deal into ugly imagery in a current fic WIP I'm working on, since recognizing I was aro took living through FP'ing a few 'romantic' relationships, before I even first heard the term FP. I only saw my experiences as 'I don't think I've been experiencing love' and that by itself felt like it fit. I didn't realize there was anything wrong, even as I outwardly said shit like 'I don't think I'm fit for being in a relationship' to the few people who asked me out, even when I wanted to say yes.

And then I kept trying to make relationships work lmao. I don't know why I even bothered. I just wanted to be wrong about being aro, especially when it was a point of contention (aro and ace separately) with some of the relationships.

I'd probably have to meet another aro person of the exact same flavour of aromanticism to make it work, but even then the mental illness would just be a ticking time bomb. No one wants to be the recipient of FP 'affection', except maybe sometimes the fictional people in a certain fiction trope that winds up being fetishistic, even if it's not intended to insult real people (but sometimes it is). And it's just a reminder of how I was probably a big source of toxicity for probably half the people who have ever been close with me, if it's even half of how fiction portrays people with this symptom.

I dunno where I wanted to end this vent, so here's probably a good place. Just wanted to get this off my chest, because it just now felt like a pretty big revelation that my problems weren't related to romanticism, I've had purely platonic instances of this dating back to being an older kid, and more during high school, and I just never connected the two before now.

[todayisafridaynight]

i’ve got a villain tier list but not in terms of how good they are or whatever but just in terms of how funny i think they are and mine and masato constantly fight for #1 in my brain