#this is definitely relevant to my muse tbh

[hells-greatestdad]

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

having started watching Wild Life, my autistic ass is now trying to assign the wildcards to tma entities

the snails are easy, they're obviously hunt, but i'm not so sure about the others. the changing sizes in the first episode is kinda giving spiral? possibly flesh. and i think the food switching in the second one could be corruption? mainly based on the hunger/starvation/various poisoning effects

you're the only other person i've seen talk about both so uh. d'you have any thoughts?

- 🦴

(I have so many thoughts, this post is about to spiral so far out of control 'cus I love musing on stuff—)

I was actually thinking about this exactly while watching the latest episodes! The snails had initially struck me as corruption, being slimy little bug-adjacent creatures, but that's so purely aesthetic that the moment you see them in action it's just incredibly clear that they're just straight up The Hunt, as clear cut as it could possibly be tbh.

Maybe a bit of The End with the whole instant kill thing, the invincibility/immortality of the snails, and the kind of inevitability of the snails getting you eventually

The other two are definitely a lot harder

Session 2's gimmick of not being able to eat food / having to eat blocks, with it's themes of eating, kinda reminds me of a lot of Flesh statements in first thought tbh, but without any actual meat (and in fact, meat being the one thing they solidly can't eat) it just doesn't seem to follow through on more than a shallow level. Though maybe from the more fandom angle with the gore-ish-ness of teeth cracking on stone, and how bloody swallowing your own sword incorrectly would be, that kinda fits Flesh

Thinking on the actual energy of that gimmick as it played out in the videos, with the huge change and upset to normalcy that leads to catastrophic results and mass panic, I almost want to say it has some Extinction vibes, but without the "man made"/"we brought this upon ourselves" aspect I'm not sure it quite works out

The Corruption idea I don't think I would have thought of on my own, but it makes some sense too. The whole idea of food making you sick, or of all the other ill affects from just trying not to starve/die, the variety of ways you're almost guaranteed to get poisoned and hurt before you figure out something actually edible..

Corruption and Buried are also both fun to consider with the imagery of having to eat dirt and the like. Buried doesn't have any other relevance tho as far as I can think

Rhyme's suggested The Stranger, as it's solidly an example of the familiar being made unfamiliar, but most manifestations of The Stranger play very heavily on it being other people that are strange and weird, in my observations, so I'm not sure if it's quite right

Spiral also works well with the familiar being bad incomprehensible tho I think. The gimmick doesn't make them doubt reality, but it does rely a lot on them being confused and no longer being able to understand and rely on what should be such a basic backbone to reality (eating food makes you less hungry). A lot of the fear and panic on that session comes from that I think, the logic of world not working the way it should, which fits Spiral fairly well

Session 1 I honestly don't know about. The size changing mechanic didn't strike as much fear into everyone as the other two, which makes it a bit harder to categorize what fear it does cause

Maybe The Buried at times, because there were concerns about getting too big in spaces that were too small

Or The Vast, because of the whole "too big" idea in and of itself, and how getting too big could theoretically play into fear of heights (though it didn't much actually do so in the videos). It also had several incidents of falling to deaths, which is pretty fitting for The Vast. Vast feels like the most aesthetically fitting tho, with heights and sizes being pretty big things with it

Spiral and Flesh definitely make sense too though, playing off of the idea of your very self changing. Constantly shrinking and growing with only a certain level of control to it does kinda feel body-horror-ish, and the whole questioning if what even was changing and if their sizes were changing at the begining could also play into spiral ideas. The whole thing was a bit dream-like

Thinking about how the different fears can play into stuff is fun :]

[thefirstknife]

wanted to share some post Lighfall thoughts in my head with you (im sure most if this has been said or i got key concepts wrong but still)

I personally believe the Witness either is the First Knife or somehow has tricked itself into believing it is. (if the later then that's then it already had the desire to end universe and is using this to justify as an allegory for fascism)

my thoughts are summed up as this:

The Winnower wants to finish this round of the garden game. and wants to keep playing it over and over and over. It didn't seem to care about the Gardener wanting another round until she put herself into the game

The Witness is the Knife or somehow has vague spiritual metaphysical memories of the Knife and took its purpose the the most logical extreme:

It grew sick of round after round of the Game.

It is the Knife it wants to cut and cull all

The Winnower wants to play the game eternally which means restarting the game

The Knife wants to do it purpose and end the Game.

Permanently

To do this it must also end the Players so it can never restart again.

The Witness wants so somehow end the Game, end the Gardener, end the Winnower.

So that

The First Knife

becomes

The Final Shape

That's a really good summary of some of my thoughts as well!!

Obviously, a lot of this is very abstract and we might be looking at the Unveiling too much for hints, but ALSO. I think this would be super cool and would definitely explain a lot of stuff. And I would absolutely adore to see the Unveiling stuff be directly relevant in this way, and not just a metaphorical retelling of how the universe began.

An interesting lore tab from the raid lore book, page 9, that was available to unlock this week (the remaining 2 pages are tied to the red border chest, crisis averted. The chest was just bugged last week. Final raid lore book page next week!). Page 9 was... very peculiar. I'll copy it fully:

No clue who is the author. The first paragraph usually hints at the author, but this time I can't tell. Mention of "dream" and later suffering might suggest Nezarec talking to the Witness... or to something else. Or something else talking about the philosophy in general. This lore tab has Unveiling vibes to me, tbh. Mostly, the part about this data fragment coming from something "warped, barely-real" gives me massive Winnower vibes. It's a metaphor, an allegory, like the Unveiling.

I love the metaphor for the Light and Darkness philosophies, here presented with the story of a man coming upon a crossroads. The man asks the sky where to go, and there's no answer because that is for the man to choose. The Light doesn't direct anyone to anything, it lets you make your own choices. That is the essential part of the philosophy; freedom to choose.

The whole next bit with a wanderer that shows up to tell the man which path to take and even suggests brandishing a knife to exert a threat and force the man to pick is essential to the Darkness philosophy. Darkness wants to funnel you into a specific path and it will do everything in its power to make you go down that road.

But the author also muses about the knife. Is threatening violence a better way to make people obedient or is that actually ceding power? Once you show the knife, you can never sheathe it or else the threat goes away and so does your power. And even if you never sheathe it, someone might still risk fleeing. If you force someone to follow you, you are never allowed to stop threatening them, but the more you threaten, the more chance there is that the person being threatened will take the risk to flee once they're fed up. Which is what happened with several Darkness-aligned characters, most notably Savathun. She was coerced and lied to and threatened, and the longer that went on, the more she contemplated taking the risk to leave. And she succeeded.

The final sentence is also super important because it really explains why a lot of characters fall to Darkness in the first place. Because it makes the choice for them, and many are afraid of the unknown. They are too afraid to take the risk and make a choice for themselves and find it easier and safer to follow what is being told to them. Ergo, Darkness being "salvation."

And if we're on the right track, in this analogy, the wanderer telling the man which road to pick would be the Winnower, the Darkness. And the knife it pulls to make the threat? The Witness. It doesn't need to use the knife, but maybe at some point it considered it and now it's doubting its efficacy. Wouldn't it be easier if the man just listened instead of introducing the knife which complicates the interaction and possible outcomes?

We're in hardcore speculative territory here but it's one of the mos interesting thing to me right now, especially with all the new stuff we learned from Lightfall and the raid.

[morgenlich]

♿ : Has your muse had any injuries in the past?

headcanon asks!

gonna answer this about only gil (if someone wants another character pls feel free 2 pester me lmao)

so yeah he's got plenty of scars accumulated over the years of course. vast majority of them he can't remember the origin stories of and doesn't care enough to be bothered by this fact even though imo in order for nations to have like actual permanent scars, it's not gonna be just any random ol' injury, it's gotta be like. Symbolic and/or Relevant To The Narrative. i do need to sit down and think out which ones he does remember at some point, but that's not why you sent this ask lmao

so, the most recent Big Injury that imo gil received was during w/w1. gets shot in the spine, dies, comes back and suddenly he can't move anything below the waist. literally a nightmare scenario for him, and this is like. early 1917. there's a fair amount of war left and he has to sit the rest of it out and leave his baby brother unprotected because the paralysis does last at least a couple of years. (he spends this time mostly in some little house no one knows the whereabouts of on the baltic coast w human servants putting up with him being an absolute menace about this his several overlapping existential crises and angst and such. when the paralysis fades, he's still got the chronic pain to deal with, and can sometimes trigger short-term paralysis/excrutiating rather than normal pain by like. moving wrong, being hit in the back, etc. between wars and during w/w2 he mostly managed the mental AND physical pain with pervitin and alcohol (in combo w each other, of course) before (again, in my timeline) he defects and gets suddenly cut off of both :) after the war he gets his sugar daddy ivan to get him actual pain meds and since reunification he probably still is on them? though not necessarily legally lmao. and ofc he wants no one to know about the fact that he's on them (nearly everyone does).

this does also lead to imo some interesting pruaus interactions because tbh how could it not. gil is definitely also the type of guy to be like lol no i'm not disabled what on earth would make you say that. as though he doesn't still have the chronic pain etc. going on

[bejoomi]

post-next gen plotting!!

hi everyone WOOOOO congrats to all the next gen participants that got signed!! and great work to the admins for everything what a fun event. for those that didn’t read the post (SPOILERS!!) nayoung just signed a contract to sr media, and joomi did not get a contract offer at all.

both muses are ultimately happy with these results!! i think i’m going to do my standard “here’s what’s up with the gang” thing to cover their post-next gen thoughts for ease of plotting.

speaking of plotting, since next gen consumed my life for the past few months, most of the threads i have on both muses are either not super relevant anymore or i’ve lost muse for. because of that, i’ll be dropping all threads unless previously discussed. i’m sorry to do this tbh 😭 but i’d really love to get fresh stuff going! especially trainee threads for nayoung, though i’m still wrapping my head around the new system atm asdfasdgdsg so! like this post to plot, no matter who you are, and i’d be happy to plot w you all again 💗 let me put what’s up with the muses again below!

JOOMI

joomi had this weird moment where he was actually nervous waiting for the last runner up’s name to be called on next gen. early on the show, he had wicked bad imposter syndrome and felt like he didn’t deserve to be there, and he also never wanted to be a kpop idol; he didn’t WANT to be there. over time he grew to just want to do his best, but even by the finale he didn’t want to win or get a contract because he knew there was a 99% chance he’d turn it down. and yet still?? he kind of wanted to be that last runner up, which is confusing to him too. maybe he just wanted to know he was good enough to at least get the offer? but he’s mainly just relieved, and is even happy to go back to working at lotte world again even though he hated it. next on his agenda is ditching the asshole lead singer of his band and starting a new one where HE will be lead singer this time, though, so we can definitely plot around that! and i will probably write a solo. hopefully.

NAYOUNG

nayoung is mostly happy. of course, she wishes she would’ve made the top 3, and she thought if she would get a contract she surely suited lime entertainment best, but beggars can’t be choosers, so you bet she signed that contract right away. she may not think sr media’s concepts suit her the best but personally, she’s a high performance gal and will have decent acting going forward too, so i totally get it. regardless, she’s eager to get started as a trainee again and is thankful for the opportunity!! she’ll work super hard. i think she’s still kind of in shock right now tbh i’m trying to get in touch with her in my head and she’s just like o__o whatever that means SDSDGSDGGD but she has a tendency to fight with other girls because she sees them as a threat or something, but next gen taught her a lot about how to be a team player, so i think she’ll be keeping that in mind going forward and try to be nicer. but it’ll be fun for her to fight people too, i’m sure it’ll happen from time to time, especially since there aren’t cameras around anymore :^)

[unforestalledreturn-a]

💖 - What’s something you like about your muse?

🎼 - What’s your favorite song?

|| Questions for the mun! Status: Accepting!

💖 - What’s something you like about your muse?

// If we are speaking strict canon, I actually find the character of Genesis to be a little lacking. Especially prominent in the English translation, it felt to me that the writers heavily flip-flopped around the concept of whether he was meant to be an unapologetic villain (like Voldemort from the Harry Potter series) or a sympathetic villain (like Itachi from Naruto). Either could be incredibly compelling characters, but I feel the indecision really watered down his potential. Funny enough, it is that same potential that I like most about Genesis. Because he has incredibly contradicting narratives, I have the freedom to carve what I think makes most sense. I feel that by in large, Crisis Core as a game was meant to hype up the original characters like Cloud and Sephiroth, and did well to make Zack a relevant part of the story. But I feel some shortcuts were made in this hype to where characters like Angeal, Genesis, and Lazard were less fleshed out and more reactionary to whatever the plot needed to create this hype. All that said, I really and thoroughly enjoy marrying a canon that most fans come to dislike Genesis and present a narrative that does not take away from the original, but gives context and meaning that can make him more fleshed out and even likable (whether it be in the sense of 'love to hate' or 'love to love')

🎼 - What’s your favorite song?

// So, to make this very brief, I had quite the stifled upbringing. It was very religious, very limited to what was approved and what was not. So anything with rock, metal, swear words, crass themes, etc., were not allowed. If the music video had any sort of 'immodesty', kissing, or even implied sexual acts, drugs, or 'gay' activity, it was banned. And while most things were not explicitly banned, it was more of a whitelist situation rather than a blacklist, although the blacklist was as mentioned above. The whitelist were gospel hymns, so of them, sure I had 'favorites'. But I would never say gospel music was even remotely close to a favorite genre or a song. But since I left that religion some years ago, my music world has definitely opened up, although you could say I am always 'behind' the current trends. So, rather than a favorite song, I'll share my small but growing playlist of songs I just like. :) https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL300TsF82GTKGaW30Z-qIodZgwlyT_sgu&si=ka0HhO6_fNc-Up2m You will find it.. eclectic, some angst, some soft, and a bit all over the place. A lot of vocaloid tbh because I was a simp for one of them when I was a wee lass XD (yes I broke the rules to listen to them ono)

[murasakiirohanaarchived]

(reposting here from the old blog)

Some rp ideas for threads I’d like to do~

Ino talking to someone about the nightmares she deals with as a result of her jutsu/as a result of the war after they witness her have a pretty bad one either on a mission or at home

Ino getting a chance to talk about her dad with someone not too long after the war because it has become evident that she’s focused on everything but that

Ino being found/helped after a bad mission left her holed up in a cave as she tried to heal herself enough to get back home. The more unlikely the ally the better tbH. Ino will absolutely try to pretend it’s not as bad as it is.

Any sort of thread that is within my Yellow Flicker Beat verse (search Yellow Flicker Beat on my blog to find extra relevant content as I gotta fix the tags sjsjs)

Ino dealing within the weight of the clan responsibilities that are quickly thrust upon in the wake of her father’s absence

Anything in my royal verse Art of Survival

More lighthearted things

Would love to explore the pop group AU I have based off the Shinobi Sisters content we got

ino popping in unannounced because she wants to hand out with someone and she’s declared your muse the victim of her plans

Ino babysitting Mirai with your muse

Ino going on an undercover mission with the other where they have to pretend to in a relationship/pretend to be in some sort of interesting relationship. Perhaps even having to change their appearance to take over as some couple and need to REALLY put on a convincing performance otherwise they’ll be caught right away. (yes, I love this trope alright)

Bonus: If you have ANY plot ideas that you wanna throw my way, please feel free to pop into my IMs. As you can see, I’m not very good at coming up with interesting ideas but I can definitely add to one!

[seadeepy]

I’m feeling lonely, I don’t have many close friends and I feel bad about it. I’ve been through many seasons of my life, where I had more or less close friends I talked to, and right now I don’t have much (especially in the city I live). I don’t know what to do - I’ve been trying to make friends but it’s such a slow process and I feel discouraged. I just want to have more community and joy in my life through connecting with others.

Did I send this anon ask to myself and then forget? But honestly, anon, I'm in a really similar situation. I just moved away from home for grad school, and so I'm simultaneously struggling with maintaining long-distance communication with my close friends and trying to make new friends in my new city. It really sucks that most things like moving jobs or moving cities force you into both those situations at once.

Making friends in adult life is so fucking hard, dude. There's all those articles about how it requires spending a certain number of hours with people, and I think it just boils down to how little free time we have under capitalism. If you only talk to someone over lunch once a week, it'll take a long time to build deep trust and affection.

Idk if you're someone who prefers IRL friendships or is more comfortable with people online, but either way, my advice is the same -- find shared activities. I can't do small talk, and it makes the first stages of forming friendships kind of excruciating, so I've had much more luck with things like fandom servers on Discord and playing D&D. You're both doing something you enjoy, and you're doing it together, and that gives you something to talk about and accelerates friendships like you wouldn't believe. Even watching a TV show together and talking about it counts tbh, but so does going to the beach or a museum or even Costco together.

If you're not sure who to invite to that kind of thing, or are looking for larger communities, I think social events like book clubs, craft nights, recreational sports, and music groups are also solid IRL activities that bring you into contact with people who share your interests.

And lastly, one of the best things I've been practicing is giving more love to people who reflect it back to me. I only have so much time and energy, so putting it into relationships where the other person's also trying is much more rewarding than pining for people whom it's hard to keep contact with, regardless of which people I'd "prefer" to be close to or even whom I care about the most. That means I text people who actually text me back, and make plans with people who also invite me to stuff occasionally. It's not a value judgment on those people or our relationships -- it's a self-care strategy, and it's been a very necessary change in how I think about friendship.

Anyway, these are things I've been trying myself, when I can muster up the time and energy. On my busier weeks, sometimes all I can do is go to lunch/dinner with someone, just to keep that thread of connection intact. Or text them links I think are relevant, or just muse about small things that have happened that day.

It still takes time, but I think some strategies definitely accelerate the process. I'm sorry you're lonely, anon, and I really feel you on how intimidating/discouraging the whole thing is.

[roleplayhonestybox]

https://www.tumblr.com/roleplayhonestybox/755635511664820224/im-not-forcing-anyone-to-write-with-my-trans?source=share

quite frankly it is an excuse that I tend to use exactly because of people like you. If I said I'm simply not interested in trans themes, it never seems to be a good justification. The characters I want to write have a hundred issues each but transphobia, their relation with gender, insecurities relating to their bodies and gender - there's actually none of that in the character's canon, which is what I want to focus on because that's what made me like the characters in the first place. And even if I were writing OCs, I still would not be interested because it's not a theme that resonates with me. Also the 'you could ask and I would teach you' comment really is what annoys me about it in a nutshell. Of course, there's a certain knowledge you need to write any character. But if I'm in a fandom, I most likely already picked up the relevant information about the characters and pairing. But I have fun deep diving on their wiki pages and researching what I want to research. I don't have fun being lectured by my rp partners on trans topics tbh. Since this is a hobby and not a civic duty, I don't see why I should. (That aside, if I don't have all my information right about Jedis, no one will be offended. If I'm discriminatory towards quirkelss people in a BNHA rp, tell me who cares? If I do that with a trans character, I'm gonna hurt real people. There's definitely less pressure about learning in the first case).

And we are talking about clean rps. If we address how vastly different a trans character could make an ERP, I'm surprised you are surprised can think it's not their cup of tea, with how details people's preferences in smut can get. It's not just a matter of *learning* about trans muses.

.

[schleckermaul]

𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚, requested by @sanpatron! (send a ✔ if u also want one)

🍬 do I know your muse(s):  yes | no | a little | tell me about your muse

(i definitely know the general vibe, but no details apart from what you've told me lol. i should go back and re-read your rundown but this time in context to interactions with break rather than ocelot tbh, i remember u doing a great job explaining the boss' setting. that being said, always feel free to tell me more, especially what you think relevant with these two! i love hearing ppl talk about what they love lol.)

🍬 setting: guess which

🍬 pre-established relationships? yes | no | depends on the relationship

(i'd need to hear ur thoughts on their dynamic first, because i think these two have great potential for conflict? break certainly isn't a saint or somebody who cares about law, but he does care about people, even if he doesn't like admitting that. and while i'm not saying the boss doesn't, break would certainly assume the worst, paranoid as he is. and that's just a really fun first meeting scenario to write out lol.)

🍬 possible relationships: friends | classmate | co-worker | roommate | family, real or adopted | dating or blind date | married | friends with benefits | unrequited love | lending a hand | teacher - student | rivals | allies | partner-in-crime | enemies | protecter - guarded | business partners | spy - infiltrated | manipulator - manipulated | star-crossed | first meeting | other 

(manipulator-manipulated aka manipulator-manipulator. do u see my vision. i think they also have potential to be reluctant partners-in-crime sometime down the line, depending on what happens between them and how their world views align.)

🍬 i’m in the mood for: fluff | angst | horror | romance | humor | crime | hurt / comfort | action | supernatural | slice of life | crack | dark threads | light threads | any genre | multi-para | shorter para | one-line | any length | plotted threads | unplotted threads | other

(something slightly plotted to start out with would be nice? doesn't have to be detailed or anything though, just a basic idea of where to start!)

🍬 feel free to: message me ooc | message me ic | tell me your ideas | write a starter | answer one of my opens | send a meme | reblog this with your preferences - let’s find common interests!

[mosesdumpin]

It's kinda disheartening at times, although it definitely feels like... a stupid gripe to have. As much as I try, its not always easy to take situations (scenarios? cultural pivot points? whatever) without directly comparing it to situations that are not as personally relevant but obviously facing a more severe version or more pressing negatives.

Without sitting down to think about it too much (again, not the point of this musing) an easy comparison would be how dark your skin is allowed to be while also being a western sex symbol (this even... horrifyingly... translates to the global south and east asia) along with the elevation of "white" features vs the more representative features in a cultural/ethnic group.

The above is obviously a more damaging and wide reaching problem than the one I am presenting here, but since I am quite white and skirting on mostly scots-irish features in a german/ashkenazim body type, the above issue only indirectly chafes my experiences.

I know that overall personal hygiene is almost universally (source: I am so horny for a counter example tbh) considered a desirable physical trait, with exceptions tending to be for CONTEXT around why someone isn't appearing hygienic. That isn't really what the gripe is about (I am not going to say "white men should be allowed to be sloppy and also expect immediate physical validation" lol)

Its just... tbh most white men I have consistently hung around were not someone who could be posted on twitter to hunt for a mob of sweaty gifs. I nearly called them "ugly," quotations and all, there but fucking hell, they arent. And I don't mean their personality made them more attractive, or even the nebulous "how they carry" themselves. I mean like... physically they were interesting, distinct, and attractive.

For example, the first guy that comes to mind was the incredibly skinny and average heighted kid I was close with in the later years of high school. When I say skinny, I don't mean slim. I mean skeletal, even though he wasn't unhealthy or anything. His skin was worn tight around his features, his muscles more function over flash, his movements highlighted by features that seemed longer by the visible joints and bone.

He had large eyes, but they weren't bulging. A crooked hairline, and even in those young years his crown was thinning. The classic thin white boy lips, and angular features. We were all awkward, but his stumbling coming-of-age screamed eternal. He didn't have the height that other boys with similar body types could lean on, and wasn't inclined to strenuous physical activity like sports or weight lifting (not lazy, mind you)

I remember him, along with a surprisingly diverse group of friends he and I belonged to, because he felt the anger and despair that comes with thinking you just simply weren't born the right way to get the kind of love you deserve. It manifested exactly how a funny jokester on twitter might lay out - a bitterness towards women and more physically acceptable men that stretched far outside what was reasonable without tracing the problem any further than that.

Now me. I am strikingly average. Not in the "all white men look the same" kind of way, but in a bell curve kind of way. I was average weight, average height, average face shape, etc. Looking at my individual features might paint a more novel picture but somehow putting them all together gives me god damn chameleon powers. I will note that these judgements come from YEARS of self-assessment both internally and with external validation, and is not meant to be self-deprecation NOR am I implying that this is the conclusion people will always make when they look at me.

My point is actually that people have yet to be compelled to look at me without some non-physical stimulus. With adjustments and realizations, this suits me quite well tbh. I will never be eye-grabbing, but I can play any social role a white man can play with just a little prep time, and I've had to work on who I am internally in order to be remembered.

I bring up my friend and myself because I considered us both in the same boat, when I know he did not. I was just close enough to the general acceptance of physical attractiveness to not be a problem, but far enough away to make him feel isolated. That he was the only "ugly" one in the room.

I will skip some of the obvious problematic lessons this boy had to learn. You can probably guess some of them. These days, however, he wears his hair wavy-messy in a way that doesn't cover up his bald spot since it seems to just affect his crown, but changes it from a problem to a quirk. He is still skinny, and pale (did I mention that?) and frankly doesn't really look much different to me after all these years besides the hair. HOWEVER, the awkwardness that prophesized to be eternal did leave him at some point, and now when he moves all the tight skin and telltale bones and joints seem intentional. He moves his arms, hands and fingers deliberately and slowly but most of all, he moves them at the same time. It generates a grace that doesn't come from your typical sources of agility like sports, yoga, dancing, etc. He simply accepted his body in a very subtle and (to me) impressive way.

this isn't going to be a "he loved himself for who he was" story.

He aged a bit, got some laugh lines and forehead creases. His pronounced skull is now defined as sharp and handsome. Of course, he didn't physically change. He adapted and adjusted. How he got there from the MRA-incel adjacent angsty 19 year old I left him to be is a mystery, but he isn't far off from my own personal ideological vagary of egalitarian compassion. Its not something it happens often and knowing him and feeling the same bitterness its hard... sometimes... to remember that what awful man he COULD have been is the unexpected abberant... and not a reasonable response from a kid that was stoked through progressive lefts calling every bad person ugly or creepy on twitter as a clapback or being told he has to earn love, somehow, through means that are a mystery to him from some chode who clearly landed upper management at their father's lawfirm with the Chris Hemsworth face.

Obviously the less-than-ideal white men aren't destined for the worst outcome, and its not what I'd call an excuse since clearly there is a path out. I will eat my PC if that path was exclusively internal and without some kind of validation though, and with how we treat people... why be surprised? You helped make this hell casserole. Stop putting shit in the casserole.

[barsibatosbiggestfan]

Genshin guys that would love a plus size s/o

(this is just the first part, i will make a second part with women)

Itto

itto is ALL about bringing in and accepting people who are otherwise not accepted by society, i mean come ON

actually the sweetest boy ever and would never judge you based on your body

honestly loves his s/o being bigger because they’re soft and it makes hugging them all the better

you think you’re to heavy for him? nope. itto is the strongest and will carry you wherever you want

biggest hype man in the entire world. the whole arataki gang gets in on hyping you up tbh, it’s like you have your own cheerleaders

speaking of the gang, all of them love you and if anyone says something bad about your body they will fight for your honor and get arrested and you’re gonna have to bail them out

uhhh this is nsfw but LOVES digging his nails into the plush of your thighs as he rails into you

more under the cut

venti

i might be a little biased bc he’s my fave but venti would definitely love someone chubby

you’re his favorite pillow. your thighs? perfect. belly? AMAZING. venti will literally fall asleep on you anywhere

youre his muse, he sings songs about how beautiful/handsome you are

if you’re comfortable with it he will be very grabby with the chub on your belly, its his stress relief

he’s been around for so long that he’s seen all kinds of people and has learned to see the beauty in all

if you’re feeling insecure he’ll begin to sing to you about everything he loves about you

if you’re afab he LOVES your boobs. theyre his favorite thing in the world, he’ll rest his head on them, grab them, kiss them (he also loves to fuck them but thats another story)

zhongli

similarly to venti, he’s been around for so long he’s seen people of all shapes and sizes and he doesn’t understand the need for beauty standards, he believes all of humanity is beautiful

i definitely see him as someone who falls for his s/o due to their personality and he sees their physical beauty as more of a bonus than anything

his body is incredibly solid and hard (i mean he is the geo archon) so he loves the contrast between your soft body and his

if you’re feeling insecure he will automatically tell you how amazing your body is both in appearance and function

he will get angry if someone makes a bad comment about you. of course he will stay civil but he can easily intimidate them and they will NEVER say anything bad about you again

he buys you custom made clothing because he loves spoiling you and you tend to have a hard time finding clothes that fit (but he does buy it all with childe’s money of course)

if you’re afab please sit on his face he doesn’t need to breathe

diluc

this man is an absolute angel and no one can convince me otherwise

he really doesn’t care about social standings or beauty standards, this man likes what he likes

coming home and cuddling with you after a long night of fighting the abyss order (or dealing with kaeya and venti at the tavern) is his favorite thing in the world

this man WORSHIPS the ground you walk on. he doesn’t care about the archons but you? he thinks you are the most perfect being to exist

before you too got together you probably thought he didn’t like you at all because he would just kind of stare at you and completely avoid you, but he’s just really bad with feelings and thought you’re incredibly attractive

speaking of worship, he’s big into body worship so if you’re feeling insecure expect a long night ;) he won’t stop until you know how beautiful you are

not quite relevant but he names a special drink after you at the tavern

thoma

CAN YOU SAY BEST BOY???

i know i said diluc is an angel but he’s NOTHING compared to thoma

thoma becomes you’re biggest hype man, he’s constantly showering you in praise and compliments

if your clothes don’t fit he personally tailors them so they fit plus he makes them look even better than when you bought them because he’s talented

dont be shy eating around him, if you refuse his food and end up sharing your feelings he automatically starts comforting you and lets you know there’s no need to worry

i mean thoma is a malewife so he will cook you whatever you want

please dont wear short skirts/shorts around him, he gets so flustered and heated seeing your plush thighs and he can’t focus on his work (or do, he’s extra cute when he’s blushing)

[brightgolden]

2022 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by these amazing writers @neondiamond @greenblueish @lunarheslwt @disgruntledkittenface @onlythebravest

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4 (wow that's serious contrast compared to last year if this doesn't show how much i'm struggling idk what will)

2. Word count posted for the year: 161 377

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Here's Your Perfect

Bookmarks: Here's Your Perfect

Comments: Here's Your Perfect

More under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

Easily Enchanted. I loved how easy the whole plot came to me and how quickly I finished it. The whole process was like a breeze.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Definitely I Do. I finished writing it in February 2021, and I believed I have grown as a writer since then. The whole fic was so so cringey

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Probably when someone messaged to tell me how much they loved the fic. Looking at you @lululawrence and @thinlinez

And anyone who were diligent enough to click through multiple links to come to my blog and write a comment or ask about new fics

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Tbh the second half of my year just went on a nosedive that it left me absolutely knackered by November/December.

In comparison, I usually write 20k every month and in November, I only wrote 8k.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably Atticus in Here's Your Perfect. Never in my life did I have to spend more than 6 hours with a toddler, and yet I received a comment saying how realistic his character is.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

The dialogue is something I came up with halfway through writing Endgame which is a rare occurrence.

Alma shakes her head, index finger raised in the air as she patiently explains, “There just isn’t any recent documentation about soulmates because people progress. They build boats and sail around the world. How do you expect to meet your soulmate if they don’t live in the same land as you? Hmm?”

Harry turns to Louis, wanting him to refute it too. But Louis looks like he is actually entertaining the idea, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed.

“And over time, without the relevancy, soulmates became folklore,” he mumbles. “Mum said that when I was young.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I'm not sure I do, but looking back at I Do, I'm probably selling myself short here.

Other than that, probably being brave enough to finally write my first 100k fic. Although, considering I didn't manage to finish it in time, I might regret putting so much of my time in that one.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Literally stop being so hard on myself as a writer.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

During my darkest days, I can always rely on @pocketsunshineharry and @thinlinez They are my best cheerleader and definitely the reason I'm still writing today.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Not intentionally, but Harry's persistence in proving himself in Here's Your Perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write whenever you want, whatever you want, however you want. Don't let anything/anyone discourage you.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My beloved Mob AU that at this point I have developed love-hate relationship with. So tired of writing and talking about this one.

A fic for @faithinthefutureficfest and a sugar baby fic that I'm really excited about

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has done this at this point because in my classic way, I waited for the last day of the year to make an evaluation.

Tagging @ohpleaselarry @harryslonecurl @dragmedown @cyantific if you haven't done this already!

[lunaralight09]

Could you do books that the scps might read?

Books that the SCPs might read

SCP 035 Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins Anna is shipped off to boarding school in Paris where she meets the super-charming Etienne, and that's when things get interesting. I was a squealing, giggly, mush-fest all the while through reading this book. Stephanie Perkins knows just how to turn a seemingly ordinary love story into an unputdownable read. SCP 040 Your Brain Needs a Hug: Life, Love, Mental Health, and Sandwiches Just the title of this book by Rae Earl makes us feel a little lighter. And we don’t know about you, but our brains could definitely use a hug right now. While the book is geared towards teens, we found Earl’s advice to be relevant for all ages — particularly for anyone who struggles with depression, anxiety, social media addiction, and self-esteem issues. TBH, pretty much anyone can benefit from this book! SCP 049 And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini And the Mountains Echoed is such an amazing and heartwarming read. It's about a pair of siblings that fate cruelly separates and then finally reunites. A must-read for its simple yet gripping narration and amiable characters. SCP 049-j The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain This is a French romance novella, and basically a love letter to book lovers. There's mystery, romance, and some of the most beautifully crafted sentences and paragraphs I have ever read. The ending is so sweet, even though you wonder how you ever got there so soon. SCP 053 Lulu and the Rabbit Next Door by Hilary McKay Lulu and her cousin help their neighbor Arthur learn to love and care for his (neglected) rabbit. She doesn’t want her neighbor to feel bad so she writes the rabbit little notes with helpful gifts signed from her own pet rabbit named Thumper. It’s a kind way to show Arthur how to take care of his new pet SCP 073 HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act At a Time Looking for heart-warming stories of kindness and compassion? HumanKind by Brad Aronson was made for you. But the book isn’t only full of uplifting stories that will move you to happy tears, it’s also packed with practical and actionable tips for how to be kinder in your everyday. One thing is for sure: after you put this book down, you’ll feel inspired to do something nice for someone else. And because of that, we think this is one of the best books on the planet! SCP 076 Do Unto Animals We absolutely DEVOURED this book by Tracey Stewart. Whether you’re looking for tips on how to better understand skunks and squirrels or read your pet’s body language, every page is full of compassionate wisdom about to treat animals in a way that they deserve. Also, the illustrations are absolutely beautiful — we nearly wanted to pet the pages because the animal drawings were so lovable. SCP 079 Walden (Henry David Thoreau) With the outdoorsman renaissance happening as we speak, it is nice to look back at one of the books that probably started it. Walden isn’t the bore you read back in middle school, it takes time to appreciate like a nice bottle of red. Thoreau’s masterpiece tackles so much while quietly nudging your brain into activity. It also makes you want to build a cabin SCP 096 Black Beauty by Anna Sewell Told from the perspective of the horse, this story is so beautifully written that it's easy to get lost in it's pages. I laughed and cried, as did my daughter when she read it. SCP 105 Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury Warm and fuzzy the whole way through, Dandelion Wine is by far the best story to make you feel good. Though I'm not the correct age to directly relate to the young adult story, I still felt the warm summer days and the wonder of it all. SCP 106 Catch-22 – Joseph Heller “War is hell,” is the old adage we all know, but Catch-22 looks to modify that a bit. Instead, war becomes super goddamn weird. The book follows a bomber squadron in the Second World War whose collective sanity is slowly being eroded by whatever passes for power. Throughout it all, the main character keeps trying to prove himself insane enough to be kicked out of the Navy, which is precisely why he can’t

be kicked out. Which is a catch 22 and yes, this is where the phrase comes from. It’s a great extrapolation of quirks and idiosyncrasies we see in day to day life, only this time, they’re affecting war SCP 134 (I know she don't have eyes . But there is a books for blind people) A Mango-Shaped Space by Wendy Mass A Mango-Shaped Space is about a 13-year-old girl with synesthesia (she can see, taste, and hear colors) and her journey in getting a diagnosis and accepting herself and all her differences. It's sort of a coming-of-age story, too. As someone with multiple chronic illnesses who has gone through the same process at the same age, this really was an incredible reading experience. One of my favorite quotes is "We all do the best we can, trying to keep all the balls in the air at once." I recommend it to everyone. SCP 173 Rabbit, Run (John Updike) The greatest mid-life crisis novel of all time doesn’t actually deal with a mid-life crisis at all. Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom is 26 when he decides to leave his wife and son for a new life. Of course, what that new life is, and what exactly he wants out of it isn’t clear to the reader or to Rabbit himself. It will strike a cord with all men who struggle with the idea of settling down. SCP 239 The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling SCP 682 THE WOLF AND THE WATCHMAN BY NIKLAS NATT OCH DAG If you're the kind of person that can't get enough of Scandi noir films, TV shows and literature, then Niklas Natt och Dag's The Wolf And The Watchman should be next on your reading list. Set in 18th-century Stockholm, this tale is as dark as it gets, following the titular watchman and a detective as they hunt down the killer behind a dismembered corpse that appears in a local pond. As gruesome as it is gripping, it's the perfect literary companion as the nights get longer and increasingly eerie. SCP 847 The Case Against Satan by Ray Russell Two priests are called in to examine a girl who might be possessed by the devil. The Exorcist, right? Nope, it’s Ray Russell‘s The Case Against Satan, a novel of theological horror that beat William Peter Blatty’s book to print by eight years. The Case Against Satan is as much the story of a crisis of faith as it is a supernatural tale, and readers looking for a nuanced take on both should give it a try SCP 953 THE PILLOW BOOK BY SEI SHŌNAGON If you want to learn a bit more about the Japan of the past – and also, weirdly, all of us in the present – The Pillow Book is a cult classic you should absolutely try. Sei Shōnagon was a lady-in-waiting in the court of Empress Teishi in the year 1000 and here she collects her thoughts and musings about court life. To read a woman more than 1,000 years ago being as philosophical, neurotic and scandalous as anyone is today on social media is a thrill that lasts from the start to the end. SCP 1678 Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden Absolutely moving, the struggles Sayuri faces are painted so beautifully by Arthur Golden's masterful craft that you totally empathize with her as she grows and triumphs in a world designed to see her fail. The ultimate conclusion of the novel fills me with such warmth — it's both entirely unexpected and wholeheartedly appreciated.

[thedreadvampy]

Like not to get discoursey but. I think there's a difference between the use of language to describe and explore your personal experience of your gender and sexuality vs the use of language to describe and define large community groups and classes. by which I mean there's a difference between eg taking about your personal connection to lesbianism and saying Lesbians Are X

like. the personal is experiential. the communal is material. and I think a lot of (very tedious) LGBTQ discourse is about people treating them as interchangeable. when we're talking about. oppression and social dynamics. the primary driver is how you're understood by others (and how the fear of how you will be understood by others affects your behaviour). that doesn't mean there's no place to speak about your own messy experience with idea and identifiers that you maybe feel partially, or invisibly, or that speak to your complex experience of self.

like. exploring parts of your identity is a really vital part of being queer imo. it's one of the beautiful things about this community. to be able to try on different hats or say I'm a bit this but a bit that, to question and to say 'look I know this might not make sense but it's true for me' and to be messily complex in your understanding of who you are and what you want. but like. that's a discussion About You that's for you and your friends and the people who know you and love you. and the problem imo is that the nature of social media is such that musing about and claiming your own identity vs discussing community issues are the same forum.

like the thing is saying "I feel bi but also lesbian? like I think my deal is that I'm a bi lesbian?" kind of. Makes perfect sense to me on a personal level. I also waver back and forth on my relationship to lesbianism. similarly I definitely know lesbians who still consider themselves lesbians (or lesbian-with-an-exception) as a personal identity but who are dating men bc their partners transitioned and they found they still wanted to be with them, or men who consider themselves lesbians bc their identity has been so tied up with lesbianism before they realised they were men. and like I'm not a lesbian and I'm not trans and I'm not here to litigate whether that's right or wrong, largely because tbh it Just Is. Like regardless of the philosophical implications, sometimes the truth of how someone feels about their identity at their core is just. Messy. And often contradictory. And part of coming to terms with that involves having the space and words to acknowledge it, and to acknowledge the messiness and contradictions in it.

but on a community level, ehhhhhhh like lesbian is specifically a term used politically and socially to describe the material reality of being a woman who loves women and doesn't have a desire for a relationship with men. and when you say "lesbians can be attracted to men!!!!!" or "men can be lesbians!!!!" there is a shrinking linguistic space to define the specific experience of Being A Woman Only Liking Women. which is a meaningful social and political category distinct from Man Who Likes Women or Bisexual Woman.

the thing is that sexuality and gender labels are, by their nature, extremely broad. like we're talking about labels that describe millions or tens of millions of people. they're not going to capture everyone's experience perfectly and without exception. community labels are indicative, they're describing a simplified core experience and for any given group identity (LGBTQ or otherwise) there will be people who match it up perfectly and people who are. out on the blurry edges of the term. but who sufficiently identify with the core concept to find it a relevant term. that doesn't mean the label needs to constantly shift to be specific to Them, The Person Using It. Any time a term is describing more than one person there absolutely will be parts of some group member's identity that don't fit perfectly in the boundaries of it, aspects of the assumed experience that are either missing or different or too small or too large to fit. but that doesn't mean the label is wrong, it just means human experience and identity is infinitely complex. Identity isn't a box, it's a cluster range. and it's frustrating to not be able to talk about what resonates and what doesn't in any given terminology without it being taken as a statement on How That Term Should Be Defined To Fit Me, Personally.

like irl I have a lot of conversations about how I feel about my personal relationship to queerness, to bisexuality, to lesbianism, to butchness, to dykery, to asexuality, to heterosexuality, to cis womanhood, to nonbinary womanhood, to traditionally gay male and trans female forms of expression and language. like it's Messy but it's also rich and valuable and honest. but I generally. steer clear of that on here bc when you talk about it online, in an open forum, every personal statement is taken as a general proclamation. and we get into Who's Allowed To Talk About What and Whose Label Is Whose and it's all. fuckin. Discourse about What The Rules Are. it's just. frustrating.

[spideywhites]

Hey spidey

Totally waiting for an update from u

For the prompts thing please tell me about Toshiro or Kousei in regards to:

🌍, 🤝, 💍, 💀, ✨, 📚, 😍 , 😇

Any and all of them will do.

[ 🌎 ] are there any aus you have for your muse? what are they like, and how is your muse different in them?

oh, tons. i always end up making AUs for literally every OC that i make, but usually i keep that in my head. they come around because i get super attached to an OC and want to fit them in everywhere!! for Toshiro, i have the general Konoha High School AU, Mythos AU, soulmate AU, ABO AU, and alternate meeting AU.

Konoha High School AU: nurse Toshiro ! honestly... he's probably just less traumatized and more happy-go-lucky. Mythos AU I've done a little one-shot about, with dryad Toshiro. Soulmate AU is . . . interesting, because it doesn't go as you'd expect. But i'm not going to say more on that just yet, in case i actually go through with making a little mini-fic for it. ABO AU is about Alpha Kakashi and Omega Toshiro being absolutely not the norm for their dynamics, and Toshiro being a late-presenting omega who is already halfway through his reforms when it hits, causing a whole new slew of political upheaval for the initially presumed beta. (honestly, might write a little thing about this too, but i shouldn't get ahead of myself lol) as for the alternate meeting au, it's mostly where they meet early on during the third shinobi war, when they're both actively child soldiers. trauma bonding? hm.

[ 🤝 ] how does your muse approach intimacy? are they hesitant, or do they like it? what types of intimacy do they like and dislike? (ex. physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.)

toshiro is . . . simultaneously direct and nervous, depending on the type. he is very warm-hearted, but lawful (in a sense) and takes great stock in morality. he's comfortable with physical intimacy with children (hugs, holding hands, general paternal care) and close friends, otherwise he's not . . . touchy? or rather just uncomfortable with prolonged touch from strangers or people he doesn't feel close to. he'll tell you directly that he's uncomfortable, and maybe even give you a lecture on good-touch bad-touch lol. sexual intimacy is exclusive to his partner. he's not one for flings, as he doesn't feel exceptionally sexual impulses towards those he's not close to. emotional intimacy has to be the most complex.... he's very open with children, showing care and love with relative ease. if he feels like he's grown close to someone, he's not afraid to open up to them. he can be nervous and procrastinate for a time, but he always ends up as the type to make the first moves. not exactly 'heart on the sleeve', but is willing to jump when he comes to the edge.

[ 💍 ] does your muse have a “type” of people that they prefer to enter relationships with? is their type generally compatible with them, or does the dynamic tend to be toxic?

toshiro will say he doesn't have a type, but he definitely does! it's not exceptionally particular, but he's certainly more attracted to people who are 1) tall, 2) the type he can sit in quiet with, 3) independent, 4) have nice arms.

in most cases, he's pretty compatible with his 'type', though the variety of personalities you can get who also possess those four qualities is pretty huge. luckily he's very straightforward and oddly centered, so he will call out toxic behavior when he sees it and is unlikely to enter a relationship with someone before analyzing every facet of them and how they would work with him.

[ 💀 ] has your muse gone through anything traumatic? if so, how has this trauma affected them?

as a child soldier, you could say he went through... a bit of trauma. he was forced through a rigorous training schedule that he barely passed, considered a statistic, and thrown onto the battlefield where at most he was expected to serve as fodder or a distraction for better nin to use to their advantage. he was the sole survivor more than once, moved around and placed on multiple teams to fill space, and made to carry the bodies of other child shinobi back. obviously this still affects him mentally, but he used a lot of the accompanying rage to put a plan in motion and twist the world into something better.

[ ✨ ] what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?

pale gold / rose / peach / crimson / ink & parchment / plants / the scent of rubbing alcohol / white / the sun & stars / soft kimonos / red piercings / warmth / spring / autumn

i use constant reference to these as a way to describe him and make him feel more .. . in the moment? like his presence is actually taking up space in the scene.

[ 📚 ] what books does your muse have on their bookshelf? what books would they like to have? if your muse isn’t an avid reader, is there anything they collect or might like to collect?

a few fuuinjutsu for beginners scrolls, heaps and heaps of medical texts, some cheesy romance novels, guilty pleasure enemies to lovers books. he doesn't have a lot of time to read for fun, so most of his bookshelves are stocked to the brim with reading material concerning his craft.

[ 😍 ] does your muse believe in true love? why or why not?

n ot . . . exactly. he thinks love is something you have to both feel and think about. you have to work for it, with it, and around it. he's not sure there's a true definition of true love when there are so many types, kinds, and versions that work better for different individuals. if everything with kakashi works out and they grow old together, he'd consider kakashi his true love, the love that worked out best for him. in short, he really thinks too much to believe in the unanalyzed concept, and he doesn't believe in 'love at first sight'... because that's just attraction.

[ 😇 ] what would your muse do if they became a god?

probably keep moving the same as he always does, unless he god powers give him better healing abilities. then he'd go around the countries fixing people up and trying to stop wars. essentially goes back to his original goal of ending child death in shinobi ranks. he's not fond of being a solo leader tbh.