#this is definitely relevant to my muse tbh

[hells-greatestdad]

[glaciescustodia]

Survival HC.

Overall Death.

Everything can be viewed in the animated short where she did die, however Clervie did not perish because of Arlecchino who may had dealt the finishing blow. Nay, Clervie used her own weapon in a moment of turmoil, of not wanting to go on with her own mother's schemes.

To her, this was a means to an end. She saw Death as a form of freedom and chose this over hurting Perrie any more than she already has when they fought. Not just each to one's another but the other kids as well.

She caused her own end to dispel the suffocating shadows of the past or so she would have liked to believe...

What really happened.

Although left for death in the ruins, in her last moments alone, Clervie unconsciously activated her On/Off Healing ability, therefore recovering enough to stand back up. Only when she could feel that Arle left to finish everything for good, did she stood up.

Albeit, the noises was inevitable in attracing attention, in the form of exploring adventurers. They crossed path and with the state Clervie was in, she was brought to a Fontainian hospital in order to be tended to.

Recovery.

She stayed bedridden for a month or so, due to the gravity of injuries, needing surgery even. Past that, Clervie stayed under the radar for a year because with her recovery, came other little issues; her lack of official identification, moments of trauma and undergo physical therapy. etc.

Suffice to say, it was not easy to push past this anew feeling of being stuck in one place. She did not make it easier for the hospital staffs either.

In her time being bedridden, she came across Neuvillette & Chevreuse when it came to getting a piece of identity when so little was known other than her name. Her name that was not recorded anywhere, even as a Fontanian native.

Her year in such a place, eventually made her look different than she used to be, as a mean to let go of what held her back, as a mean to be nothing like her deceased mother.

Within the last month of recovery, Clervie saw no reason to stay and with some help, made haste to Snezhnaya.

In Zapolyarny Palace.

Needless to say, as soon as she got there, explaining herself was no easy shot but it was worth the travel.

For a time while assigned under no one in the beginning year, she used that year to rigorous training, learn abilities that would seperate her from Mother. Clervie essentially trained with/or fellow Anemo Elite Agents that were bound to be assigned under Arlecchino.

All this happened in the shadows as to not reveal herself till she felt the time was right.

Amidst her training, she was officially put under Capitano's command. Though all saw this as an honor, it wasn't anything for Clervie to boast about but for a chance of traveling the world, she will take that opportunity.

Their promise.

Not once, wheter as she awaited death to overtake her in the ruined landmark, her time spent in the hospital, in the streets of Fontaine among other situations, not once did she ever forgotten the promise made with Peruere.

Getting to Snezhnaya, at her lonesome, she was met with the veils of colors she always desired to see. However, that feeling could never truly to be completed alone.

With the one now known as Arlecchino, does Clervie hopes now to do so much more than taking the sight of auroras.

After all, many years has been lost on her....

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

having started watching Wild Life, my autistic ass is now trying to assign the wildcards to tma entities

the snails are easy, they're obviously hunt, but i'm not so sure about the others. the changing sizes in the first episode is kinda giving spiral? possibly flesh. and i think the food switching in the second one could be corruption? mainly based on the hunger/starvation/various poisoning effects

you're the only other person i've seen talk about both so uh. d'you have any thoughts?

- 🦴

(I have so many thoughts, this post is about to spiral so far out of control 'cus I love musing on stuff—)

I was actually thinking about this exactly while watching the latest episodes! The snails had initially struck me as corruption, being slimy little bug-adjacent creatures, but that's so purely aesthetic that the moment you see them in action it's just incredibly clear that they're just straight up The Hunt, as clear cut as it could possibly be tbh.

Maybe a bit of The End with the whole instant kill thing, the invincibility/immortality of the snails, and the kind of inevitability of the snails getting you eventually

The other two are definitely a lot harder

Session 2's gimmick of not being able to eat food / having to eat blocks, with it's themes of eating, kinda reminds me of a lot of Flesh statements in first thought tbh, but without any actual meat (and in fact, meat being the one thing they solidly can't eat) it just doesn't seem to follow through on more than a shallow level. Though maybe from the more fandom angle with the gore-ish-ness of teeth cracking on stone, and how bloody swallowing your own sword incorrectly would be, that kinda fits Flesh

Thinking on the actual energy of that gimmick as it played out in the videos, with the huge change and upset to normalcy that leads to catastrophic results and mass panic, I almost want to say it has some Extinction vibes, but without the "man made"/"we brought this upon ourselves" aspect I'm not sure it quite works out

The Corruption idea I don't think I would have thought of on my own, but it makes some sense too. The whole idea of food making you sick, or of all the other ill affects from just trying not to starve/die, the variety of ways you're almost guaranteed to get poisoned and hurt before you figure out something actually edible..

Corruption and Buried are also both fun to consider with the imagery of having to eat dirt and the like. Buried doesn't have any other relevance tho as far as I can think

Rhyme's suggested The Stranger, as it's solidly an example of the familiar being made unfamiliar, but most manifestations of The Stranger play very heavily on it being other people that are strange and weird, in my observations, so I'm not sure if it's quite right

Spiral also works well with the familiar being bad incomprehensible tho I think. The gimmick doesn't make them doubt reality, but it does rely a lot on them being confused and no longer being able to understand and rely on what should be such a basic backbone to reality (eating food makes you less hungry). A lot of the fear and panic on that session comes from that I think, the logic of world not working the way it should, which fits Spiral fairly well

Session 1 I honestly don't know about. The size changing mechanic didn't strike as much fear into everyone as the other two, which makes it a bit harder to categorize what fear it does cause

Maybe The Buried at times, because there were concerns about getting too big in spaces that were too small

Or The Vast, because of the whole "too big" idea in and of itself, and how getting too big could theoretically play into fear of heights (though it didn't much actually do so in the videos). It also had several incidents of falling to deaths, which is pretty fitting for The Vast. Vast feels like the most aesthetically fitting tho, with heights and sizes being pretty big things with it

Spiral and Flesh definitely make sense too though, playing off of the idea of your very self changing. Constantly shrinking and growing with only a certain level of control to it does kinda feel body-horror-ish, and the whole questioning if what even was changing and if their sizes were changing at the begining could also play into spiral ideas. The whole thing was a bit dream-like

Thinking about how the different fears can play into stuff is fun :]

[theircurse]

━━━━━━ㅤㅤGET TO KNOW THE MUN . 🌙

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

This is embarrassing but when I first watched BSD, the second I saw them in the OP, I was like ' WHO IS THAT CUTE KID ? ' and then it was all over from there. I did not know that this ' cute kid ' would be holding the brain cell for like six years nowㅤ—ㅤor that in those six years, Asagiri would still REFUSE TO GIVE THEM ANY SCREEN TIME OR STORY RELEVANCE PAST SEASON 2.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Nothing really aside from s/mut and r/omance ? I have played adult muses despite my abundance of child muses and shipping was never really something I found appealing. And when I do play adult muses, I tend to like slowburn but probably too slow for the other partner lol

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Let Yumeno see things ! Let Yumeno experience life ! But also let them experience THE HORRORS.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

Sometimes they just pop in my head or some sort of media or thing I'm consuming makes me think of the headcanons ! And considering Asagiri didn't give me a lot to work withㅤ—ㅤit's free real estate.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Usually I do !

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

99% of the time, I wing them because I am the most organized A/DHD person in the world /s. Sometimes in the rare instance that a reply is REALLY LONG or there's a lot of stuff happening in the reply, I plan them !

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

Motions at the answer I typed about this. Not really ! Maybe that's why I stick to minor muses for the most part. Howeverㅤ—ㅤI am all for platonic / familial dynamics.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Stella ! I don't have any profound story about it tbh. I just liked how it sounded.

ᴀɢᴇ?

Old 28.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

May 1st and I have the most FUCKED Astral birth chart ever !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Everyone knows it's blues but I enjoy the rare purple / pink / red every once in a while.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

I have this disease called I hyperfixate on the same songs for long periods of time until they lose all meaning. I ALSO have a disease called I'm very specific about what I like to the point that I DON'T know what I like. But some of my favorite artists are Bring Me The Horizon, Emilie Autumn, FAKE TYPE, In This Moment, POPPY, etc. Butㅤ—ㅤI've mainly been listening to P/okemon OSTS lately lol

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

I honestly cannot remember !

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Some weird Kdrama my Dad and I still haven't finished.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

Giant stellar turtle !

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Basically any form of junk food like cookies and cake and also Chinese egg tarts. In terms of real food, pasta, shrimp rice noodle rolls, adobo, lumpia, sinigang, etc.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

The cold dead winter because I don't have to worry about cutting the grass or bugs ! We SOMEHOW always get wasp infestations in our house every spring / summer and it's super annoying.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Yes ! There's @jardinae who's so creative and talented and her OC world is absolutely magical ! Then there's @embxllmer who I've been friends with since before BSD which is crazy because you all know I've been in BSD for YEARS. Then there's @diverse-hearts and @smol-sirens-garden who've seen me at my best and my worse and tolerate me screaming about infinitely spawning fish in H/SR ! @idleautumn is like a big sister to me as well ! There are definitely more I'm missing as well but every mutual is friend-shaped !

Tagged by: @jardinae ( ilu )

Tagging: Whoever !

[thefirstknife]

wanted to share some post Lighfall thoughts in my head with you (im sure most if this has been said or i got key concepts wrong but still)

I personally believe the Witness either is the First Knife or somehow has tricked itself into believing it is. (if the later then that's then it already had the desire to end universe and is using this to justify as an allegory for fascism)

my thoughts are summed up as this:

The Winnower wants to finish this round of the garden game. and wants to keep playing it over and over and over. It didn't seem to care about the Gardener wanting another round until she put herself into the game

The Witness is the Knife or somehow has vague spiritual metaphysical memories of the Knife and took its purpose the the most logical extreme:

It grew sick of round after round of the Game.

It is the Knife it wants to cut and cull all

The Winnower wants to play the game eternally which means restarting the game

The Knife wants to do it purpose and end the Game.

Permanently

To do this it must also end the Players so it can never restart again.

The Witness wants so somehow end the Game, end the Gardener, end the Winnower.

So that

The First Knife

becomes

The Final Shape

That's a really good summary of some of my thoughts as well!!

Obviously, a lot of this is very abstract and we might be looking at the Unveiling too much for hints, but ALSO. I think this would be super cool and would definitely explain a lot of stuff. And I would absolutely adore to see the Unveiling stuff be directly relevant in this way, and not just a metaphorical retelling of how the universe began.

An interesting lore tab from the raid lore book, page 9, that was available to unlock this week (the remaining 2 pages are tied to the red border chest, crisis averted. The chest was just bugged last week. Final raid lore book page next week!). Page 9 was... very peculiar. I'll copy it fully:

No clue who is the author. The first paragraph usually hints at the author, but this time I can't tell. Mention of "dream" and later suffering might suggest Nezarec talking to the Witness... or to something else. Or something else talking about the philosophy in general. This lore tab has Unveiling vibes to me, tbh. Mostly, the part about this data fragment coming from something "warped, barely-real" gives me massive Winnower vibes. It's a metaphor, an allegory, like the Unveiling.

I love the metaphor for the Light and Darkness philosophies, here presented with the story of a man coming upon a crossroads. The man asks the sky where to go, and there's no answer because that is for the man to choose. The Light doesn't direct anyone to anything, it lets you make your own choices. That is the essential part of the philosophy; freedom to choose.

The whole next bit with a wanderer that shows up to tell the man which path to take and even suggests brandishing a knife to exert a threat and force the man to pick is essential to the Darkness philosophy. Darkness wants to funnel you into a specific path and it will do everything in its power to make you go down that road.

But the author also muses about the knife. Is threatening violence a better way to make people obedient or is that actually ceding power? Once you show the knife, you can never sheathe it or else the threat goes away and so does your power. And even if you never sheathe it, someone might still risk fleeing. If you force someone to follow you, you are never allowed to stop threatening them, but the more you threaten, the more chance there is that the person being threatened will take the risk to flee once they're fed up. Which is what happened with several Darkness-aligned characters, most notably Savathun. She was coerced and lied to and threatened, and the longer that went on, the more she contemplated taking the risk to leave. And she succeeded.

The final sentence is also super important because it really explains why a lot of characters fall to Darkness in the first place. Because it makes the choice for them, and many are afraid of the unknown. They are too afraid to take the risk and make a choice for themselves and find it easier and safer to follow what is being told to them. Ergo, Darkness being "salvation."

And if we're on the right track, in this analogy, the wanderer telling the man which road to pick would be the Winnower, the Darkness. And the knife it pulls to make the threat? The Witness. It doesn't need to use the knife, but maybe at some point it considered it and now it's doubting its efficacy. Wouldn't it be easier if the man just listened instead of introducing the knife which complicates the interaction and possible outcomes?

We're in hardcore speculative territory here but it's one of the mos interesting thing to me right now, especially with all the new stuff we learned from Lightfall and the raid.

[morgenlich]

♿ : Has your muse had any injuries in the past?

headcanon asks!

gonna answer this about only gil (if someone wants another character pls feel free 2 pester me lmao)

so yeah he's got plenty of scars accumulated over the years of course. vast majority of them he can't remember the origin stories of and doesn't care enough to be bothered by this fact even though imo in order for nations to have like actual permanent scars, it's not gonna be just any random ol' injury, it's gotta be like. Symbolic and/or Relevant To The Narrative. i do need to sit down and think out which ones he does remember at some point, but that's not why you sent this ask lmao

so, the most recent Big Injury that imo gil received was during w/w1. gets shot in the spine, dies, comes back and suddenly he can't move anything below the waist. literally a nightmare scenario for him, and this is like. early 1917. there's a fair amount of war left and he has to sit the rest of it out and leave his baby brother unprotected because the paralysis does last at least a couple of years. (he spends this time mostly in some little house no one knows the whereabouts of on the baltic coast w human servants putting up with him being an absolute menace about this his several overlapping existential crises and angst and such. when the paralysis fades, he's still got the chronic pain to deal with, and can sometimes trigger short-term paralysis/excrutiating rather than normal pain by like. moving wrong, being hit in the back, etc. between wars and during w/w2 he mostly managed the mental AND physical pain with pervitin and alcohol (in combo w each other, of course) before (again, in my timeline) he defects and gets suddenly cut off of both :) after the war he gets his sugar daddy ivan to get him actual pain meds and since reunification he probably still is on them? though not necessarily legally lmao. and ofc he wants no one to know about the fact that he's on them (nearly everyone does).

this does also lead to imo some interesting pruaus interactions because tbh how could it not. gil is definitely also the type of guy to be like lol no i'm not disabled what on earth would make you say that. as though he doesn't still have the chronic pain etc. going on

[cityandking]

🧱 😱 ✨ 🐺 for dai, minah and anticlea!

thanks dear!! // prompts I'd like to receive

[ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

DAI — "nothing is more important than the responsibility my faith confers upon me to help others in need." originally his altruism was structured by the tenets of his faith, but he's come to understand that his altruism is his own and faith is just one way to guide it. with or without pelor, with or without tempus, he wants to help people and do good. he was lawful good when the campaign started, but he's shifted to neutral good over time.

MINAH — minah's morals are a little hard to pin down, tbh. she has a deep-seated lack of trust in any authority or organization, so her morality prioritizes the individual over rule of law. her sense of right and wrong is largely based on her moment-to-moment gut instincts in a situation, but tends to be driven primarily by her desire for personal safety and security (financially, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.) and secondarily by an impulse towards compassion (she'd really really rather not break any fingers). she meant it when she told cian that there's always unfixible things, and she's not particularly interested in fixing them—she tries to keep out of the big-picture politics and ethics, and she's likewise not planning to cut down on the thieving any time soon—but that doesn't mean she can't tip a busker or talk to a half-blind orphan lordling or offer to save a templar's lover from tranquility (as an interrogation tactic, but hey! still an offer). it's the little touches when you desperately need them that matter most. minah is true neutral.

CLEA — clea lives by the old girl scout law of leaving a place better than you found it. she's lived a long time and values heart and courage and kindness and growth. at the root of everything, she's just a gardener. clea is neutral good.

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

DAI — he's afraid of deep water. his first death was pretty traumatic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I rolled a couple times during the kaiju arc against panicking while they were underwater but he kept it together (shout out to that high WIS mod). besides that, he's afraid of failing the people he's supposed to be taking care of, which was always there but really kicked in when Izzy died. a lot of things changed for him when Izzy died.

MINAH — she's got a couple, yeah. she's a lil claustrophobic—she can deal with tight spaces, but she needs to be able to access an exit, otherwise she gets panicked about being trapped. a few escapes have gone badly over the years—crammed in some tiny hidey-hole hoping no one notices her, or not quick enough and ending up arrested—and she's afraid of ending up back in a cell

CLEA — her son's memory haunts her—she dreams about him sometimes, when she's not dreamwalking—but mostly she's just grateful to see him. it's the only way he lives on. she's definitely afraid of foresyhte going to the abyss (and then losing him just like everyone else), which is why he won't be going! problem solved.

[ ✨ ] what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?

DAI — shields, the sun, wings, light. wounds/sickness come up pretty often, which makes sense because he's a healer (but *cocks gun*). lava, recently :)

MINAH — I associate her with the tragicomedy masks, and also songbirds. molten gold, a bit. silks (the aerial kind, mostly, but also costumes). the theater, of course. and nomadism—living on the road, horses and caravans, that sort of thing.

CLEA — old trees, shrikes, white winter foxes, snow. furs and beads and silver jewelry. weeping willows and labyrinths and tea and bright embroidery. the way sunlight feels through the trees on a cool day in early spring, a touch of warmth after a long winter.

[ 🐺 ] does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

DAI — definitely (desperately) needs his alone time. he's a true introvert; no matter how much he likes hanging out he simply Has to find some quiet time to rest and recharge. the trip through the storm where they were all crammed together in the tiny hut was one of the worst experiences of his life and he's literally in the abyss right now. he doesn't get lonely easily, in part because he's always had pelor with him—the loneliest he's ever felt, I think, is when his faith was in tatters and he didn't know where to turn.

MINAH — minah likes a little private time to take the mask(s) off, but she gets antsy if she's on her own for too long. even if she's not entertaining, she likes to be in a group—she's an extrovert

CLEA — she gets lonely really easily, actually. back home she was part of a big community, and then when she left she was constantly meeting new people, going new places, traveling with her party. being in selto is nice—she likes the city and she's got friends and plenty to keep her busy—but she never lived alone before. she has a tendency to talk to the plants (and the neighbors) when she's undersocialized. she really does wish forsyhte would visit more often.

[bejoomi]

post-next gen plotting!!

hi everyone WOOOOO congrats to all the next gen participants that got signed!! and great work to the admins for everything what a fun event. for those that didn’t read the post (SPOILERS!!) nayoung just signed a contract to sr media, and joomi did not get a contract offer at all.

both muses are ultimately happy with these results!! i think i’m going to do my standard “here’s what’s up with the gang” thing to cover their post-next gen thoughts for ease of plotting.

speaking of plotting, since next gen consumed my life for the past few months, most of the threads i have on both muses are either not super relevant anymore or i’ve lost muse for. because of that, i’ll be dropping all threads unless previously discussed. i’m sorry to do this tbh 😭 but i’d really love to get fresh stuff going! especially trainee threads for nayoung, though i’m still wrapping my head around the new system atm asdfasdgdsg so! like this post to plot, no matter who you are, and i’d be happy to plot w you all again 💗 let me put what’s up with the muses again below!

JOOMI

joomi had this weird moment where he was actually nervous waiting for the last runner up’s name to be called on next gen. early on the show, he had wicked bad imposter syndrome and felt like he didn’t deserve to be there, and he also never wanted to be a kpop idol; he didn’t WANT to be there. over time he grew to just want to do his best, but even by the finale he didn’t want to win or get a contract because he knew there was a 99% chance he’d turn it down. and yet still?? he kind of wanted to be that last runner up, which is confusing to him too. maybe he just wanted to know he was good enough to at least get the offer? but he’s mainly just relieved, and is even happy to go back to working at lotte world again even though he hated it. next on his agenda is ditching the asshole lead singer of his band and starting a new one where HE will be lead singer this time, though, so we can definitely plot around that! and i will probably write a solo. hopefully.

NAYOUNG

nayoung is mostly happy. of course, she wishes she would’ve made the top 3, and she thought if she would get a contract she surely suited lime entertainment best, but beggars can’t be choosers, so you bet she signed that contract right away. she may not think sr media’s concepts suit her the best but personally, she’s a high performance gal and will have decent acting going forward too, so i totally get it. regardless, she’s eager to get started as a trainee again and is thankful for the opportunity!! she’ll work super hard. i think she’s still kind of in shock right now tbh i’m trying to get in touch with her in my head and she’s just like o__o whatever that means SDSDGSDGGD but she has a tendency to fight with other girls because she sees them as a threat or something, but next gen taught her a lot about how to be a team player, so i think she’ll be keeping that in mind going forward and try to be nicer. but it’ll be fun for her to fight people too, i’m sure it’ll happen from time to time, especially since there aren’t cameras around anymore :^)

[murasakiirohana]

Some rp ideas for threads I’d like to do~

Ino talking to someone about the nightmares she deals with as a result of her jutsu/as a result of the war after they witness her have a pretty bad one either on a mission or at home

Ino getting a chance to talk about her dad with someone not too long after the war because it has become evident that she’s focused on everything but that 

Ino being found/helped after a bad mission left her holed up in a cave as she tried to heal herself enough to get back home. The more unlikely the ally the better tbH. Ino will absolutely try to pretend it’s not as bad as it is.

Any sort of thread that is within my Yellow Flicker Beat verse (search Yellow Flicker Beat on my blog to find extra relevant content as I gotta fix the tags sjsjs)

Ino dealing within the weight of the clan responsibilities that are quickly thrust upon in the wake of her father’s absence 

Anything in my royal verse Art of Survival

More lighthearted things 

Would love to explore the pop group AU I have based off the Shinobi Sisters content we got

ino popping in unannounced because she wants to hand out with someone and she’s declared your muse the victim of her plans

Ino babysitting Mirai with your muse

Ino going on an undercover mission with the other where they have to pretend to in a relationship/pretend to be in some sort of interesting relationship. Perhaps even having to change their appearance to take over as some couple and need to REALLY put on a convincing performance otherwise they’ll be caught right away. (yes, I love this trope alright)

Bonus: If you have ANY plot ideas that you wanna throw my way, please feel free to pop into my IMs. As you can see, I’m not very good at coming up with interesting ideas but I can definitely add to one!

[brightgolden]

2022 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by these amazing writers @neondiamond @greenblueish @lunarheslwt @disgruntledkittenface @onlythebravest

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4 (wow that's serious contrast compared to last year if this doesn't show how much i'm struggling idk what will)

2. Word count posted for the year: 161 377

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Here's Your Perfect

Bookmarks: Here's Your Perfect

Comments: Here's Your Perfect

More under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

Easily Enchanted. I loved how easy the whole plot came to me and how quickly I finished it. The whole process was like a breeze.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Definitely I Do. I finished writing it in February 2021, and I believed I have grown as a writer since then. The whole fic was so so cringey

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Probably when someone messaged to tell me how much they loved the fic. Looking at you @lululawrence and @thinlinez

And anyone who were diligent enough to click through multiple links to come to my blog and write a comment or ask about new fics

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Tbh the second half of my year just went on a nosedive that it left me absolutely knackered by November/December.

In comparison, I usually write 20k every month and in November, I only wrote 8k.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably Atticus in Here's Your Perfect. Never in my life did I have to spend more than 6 hours with a toddler, and yet I received a comment saying how realistic his character is.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

The dialogue is something I came up with halfway through writing Endgame which is a rare occurrence.

Alma shakes her head, index finger raised in the air as she patiently explains, “There just isn’t any recent documentation about soulmates because people progress. They build boats and sail around the world. How do you expect to meet your soulmate if they don’t live in the same land as you? Hmm?”

Harry turns to Louis, wanting him to refute it too. But Louis looks like he is actually entertaining the idea, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed.

“And over time, without the relevancy, soulmates became folklore,” he mumbles. “Mum said that when I was young.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I'm not sure I do, but looking back at I Do, I'm probably selling myself short here.

Other than that, probably being brave enough to finally write my first 100k fic. Although, considering I didn't manage to finish it in time, I might regret putting so much of my time in that one.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Literally stop being so hard on myself as a writer.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

During my darkest days, I can always rely on @pocketsunshineharry and @thinlinez They are my best cheerleader and definitely the reason I'm still writing today.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Not intentionally, but Harry's persistence in proving himself in Here's Your Perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write whenever you want, whatever you want, however you want. Don't let anything/anyone discourage you.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My beloved Mob AU that at this point I have developed love-hate relationship with. So tired of writing and talking about this one.

A fic for @faithinthefutureficfest and a sugar baby fic that I'm really excited about

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has done this at this point because in my classic way, I waited for the last day of the year to make an evaluation.

Tagging @ohpleaselarry @harryslonecurl @dragmedown @cyantific if you haven't done this already!

[unforestalledreturn-a]

💖 - What’s something you like about your muse?

🎼 - What’s your favorite song?

|| Questions for the mun! Status: Accepting!

💖 - What’s something you like about your muse?

// If we are speaking strict canon, I actually find the character of Genesis to be a little lacking. Especially prominent in the English translation, it felt to me that the writers heavily flip-flopped around the concept of whether he was meant to be an unapologetic villain (like Voldemort from the Harry Potter series) or a sympathetic villain (like Itachi from Naruto). Either could be incredibly compelling characters, but I feel the indecision really watered down his potential. Funny enough, it is that same potential that I like most about Genesis. Because he has incredibly contradicting narratives, I have the freedom to carve what I think makes most sense. I feel that by in large, Crisis Core as a game was meant to hype up the original characters like Cloud and Sephiroth, and did well to make Zack a relevant part of the story. But I feel some shortcuts were made in this hype to where characters like Angeal, Genesis, and Lazard were less fleshed out and more reactionary to whatever the plot needed to create this hype. All that said, I really and thoroughly enjoy marrying a canon that most fans come to dislike Genesis and present a narrative that does not take away from the original, but gives context and meaning that can make him more fleshed out and even likable (whether it be in the sense of 'love to hate' or 'love to love')

🎼 - What’s your favorite song?

// So, to make this very brief, I had quite the stifled upbringing. It was very religious, very limited to what was approved and what was not. So anything with rock, metal, swear words, crass themes, etc., were not allowed. If the music video had any sort of 'immodesty', kissing, or even implied sexual acts, drugs, or 'gay' activity, it was banned. And while most things were not explicitly banned, it was more of a whitelist situation rather than a blacklist, although the blacklist was as mentioned above. The whitelist were gospel hymns, so of them, sure I had 'favorites'. But I would never say gospel music was even remotely close to a favorite genre or a song. But since I left that religion some years ago, my music world has definitely opened up, although you could say I am always 'behind' the current trends. So, rather than a favorite song, I'll share my small but growing playlist of songs I just like. :) https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL300TsF82GTKGaW30Z-qIodZgwlyT_sgu&si=ka0HhO6_fNc-Up2m You will find it.. eclectic, some angst, some soft, and a bit all over the place. A lot of vocaloid tbh because I was a simp for one of them when I was a wee lass XD (yes I broke the rules to listen to them ono)

[murasakiirohanaarchived]

(reposting here from the old blog)

Some rp ideas for threads I’d like to do~

Ino talking to someone about the nightmares she deals with as a result of her jutsu/as a result of the war after they witness her have a pretty bad one either on a mission or at home

Ino getting a chance to talk about her dad with someone not too long after the war because it has become evident that she’s focused on everything but that

Ino being found/helped after a bad mission left her holed up in a cave as she tried to heal herself enough to get back home. The more unlikely the ally the better tbH. Ino will absolutely try to pretend it’s not as bad as it is.

Any sort of thread that is within my Yellow Flicker Beat verse (search Yellow Flicker Beat on my blog to find extra relevant content as I gotta fix the tags sjsjs)

Ino dealing within the weight of the clan responsibilities that are quickly thrust upon in the wake of her father’s absence

Anything in my royal verse Art of Survival

More lighthearted things

Would love to explore the pop group AU I have based off the Shinobi Sisters content we got

ino popping in unannounced because she wants to hand out with someone and she’s declared your muse the victim of her plans

Ino babysitting Mirai with your muse

Ino going on an undercover mission with the other where they have to pretend to in a relationship/pretend to be in some sort of interesting relationship. Perhaps even having to change their appearance to take over as some couple and need to REALLY put on a convincing performance otherwise they’ll be caught right away. (yes, I love this trope alright)

Bonus: If you have ANY plot ideas that you wanna throw my way, please feel free to pop into my IMs. As you can see, I’m not very good at coming up with interesting ideas but I can definitely add to one!

[seadeepy]

I’m feeling lonely, I don’t have many close friends and I feel bad about it. I’ve been through many seasons of my life, where I had more or less close friends I talked to, and right now I don’t have much (especially in the city I live). I don’t know what to do - I’ve been trying to make friends but it’s such a slow process and I feel discouraged. I just want to have more community and joy in my life through connecting with others.

Did I send this anon ask to myself and then forget? But honestly, anon, I'm in a really similar situation. I just moved away from home for grad school, and so I'm simultaneously struggling with maintaining long-distance communication with my close friends and trying to make new friends in my new city. It really sucks that most things like moving jobs or moving cities force you into both those situations at once.

Making friends in adult life is so fucking hard, dude. There's all those articles about how it requires spending a certain number of hours with people, and I think it just boils down to how little free time we have under capitalism. If you only talk to someone over lunch once a week, it'll take a long time to build deep trust and affection.

Idk if you're someone who prefers IRL friendships or is more comfortable with people online, but either way, my advice is the same -- find shared activities. I can't do small talk, and it makes the first stages of forming friendships kind of excruciating, so I've had much more luck with things like fandom servers on Discord and playing D&D. You're both doing something you enjoy, and you're doing it together, and that gives you something to talk about and accelerates friendships like you wouldn't believe. Even watching a TV show together and talking about it counts tbh, but so does going to the beach or a museum or even Costco together.

If you're not sure who to invite to that kind of thing, or are looking for larger communities, I think social events like book clubs, craft nights, recreational sports, and music groups are also solid IRL activities that bring you into contact with people who share your interests.

And lastly, one of the best things I've been practicing is giving more love to people who reflect it back to me. I only have so much time and energy, so putting it into relationships where the other person's also trying is much more rewarding than pining for people whom it's hard to keep contact with, regardless of which people I'd "prefer" to be close to or even whom I care about the most. That means I text people who actually text me back, and make plans with people who also invite me to stuff occasionally. It's not a value judgment on those people or our relationships -- it's a self-care strategy, and it's been a very necessary change in how I think about friendship.

Anyway, these are things I've been trying myself, when I can muster up the time and energy. On my busier weeks, sometimes all I can do is go to lunch/dinner with someone, just to keep that thread of connection intact. Or text them links I think are relevant, or just muse about small things that have happened that day.

It still takes time, but I think some strategies definitely accelerate the process. I'm sorry you're lonely, anon, and I really feel you on how intimidating/discouraging the whole thing is.

[roleplayhonestybox]

https://www.tumblr.com/roleplayhonestybox/755635511664820224/im-not-forcing-anyone-to-write-with-my-trans?source=share

quite frankly it is an excuse that I tend to use exactly because of people like you. If I said I'm simply not interested in trans themes, it never seems to be a good justification. The characters I want to write have a hundred issues each but transphobia, their relation with gender, insecurities relating to their bodies and gender - there's actually none of that in the character's canon, which is what I want to focus on because that's what made me like the characters in the first place. And even if I were writing OCs, I still would not be interested because it's not a theme that resonates with me. Also the 'you could ask and I would teach you' comment really is what annoys me about it in a nutshell. Of course, there's a certain knowledge you need to write any character. But if I'm in a fandom, I most likely already picked up the relevant information about the characters and pairing. But I have fun deep diving on their wiki pages and researching what I want to research. I don't have fun being lectured by my rp partners on trans topics tbh. Since this is a hobby and not a civic duty, I don't see why I should. (That aside, if I don't have all my information right about Jedis, no one will be offended. If I'm discriminatory towards quirkelss people in a BNHA rp, tell me who cares? If I do that with a trans character, I'm gonna hurt real people. There's definitely less pressure about learning in the first case).

And we are talking about clean rps. If we address how vastly different a trans character could make an ERP, I'm surprised you are surprised can think it's not their cup of tea, with how details people's preferences in smut can get. It's not just a matter of *learning* about trans muses.

.

[schleckermaul]

𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙙𝙚, requested by @sanpatron! (send a ✔ if u also want one)

🍬 do I know your muse(s):  yes | no | a little | tell me about your muse

(i definitely know the general vibe, but no details apart from what you've told me lol. i should go back and re-read your rundown but this time in context to interactions with break rather than ocelot tbh, i remember u doing a great job explaining the boss' setting. that being said, always feel free to tell me more, especially what you think relevant with these two! i love hearing ppl talk about what they love lol.)

🍬 setting: guess which

🍬 pre-established relationships? yes | no | depends on the relationship

(i'd need to hear ur thoughts on their dynamic first, because i think these two have great potential for conflict? break certainly isn't a saint or somebody who cares about law, but he does care about people, even if he doesn't like admitting that. and while i'm not saying the boss doesn't, break would certainly assume the worst, paranoid as he is. and that's just a really fun first meeting scenario to write out lol.)

🍬 possible relationships: friends | classmate | co-worker | roommate | family, real or adopted | dating or blind date | married | friends with benefits | unrequited love | lending a hand | teacher - student | rivals | allies | partner-in-crime | enemies | protecter - guarded | business partners | spy - infiltrated | manipulator - manipulated | star-crossed | first meeting | other 

(manipulator-manipulated aka manipulator-manipulator. do u see my vision. i think they also have potential to be reluctant partners-in-crime sometime down the line, depending on what happens between them and how their world views align.)

🍬 i’m in the mood for: fluff | angst | horror | romance | humor | crime | hurt / comfort | action | supernatural | slice of life | crack | dark threads | light threads | any genre | multi-para | shorter para | one-line | any length | plotted threads | unplotted threads | other

(something slightly plotted to start out with would be nice? doesn't have to be detailed or anything though, just a basic idea of where to start!)

🍬 feel free to: message me ooc | message me ic | tell me your ideas | write a starter | answer one of my opens | send a meme | reblog this with your preferences - let’s find common interests!

[mosesdumpin]

It's kinda disheartening at times, although it definitely feels like... a stupid gripe to have. As much as I try, its not always easy to take situations (scenarios? cultural pivot points? whatever) without directly comparing it to situations that are not as personally relevant but obviously facing a more severe version or more pressing negatives.

Without sitting down to think about it too much (again, not the point of this musing) an easy comparison would be how dark your skin is allowed to be while also being a western sex symbol (this even... horrifyingly... translates to the global south and east asia) along with the elevation of "white" features vs the more representative features in a cultural/ethnic group.

The above is obviously a more damaging and wide reaching problem than the one I am presenting here, but since I am quite white and skirting on mostly scots-irish features in a german/ashkenazim body type, the above issue only indirectly chafes my experiences.

I know that overall personal hygiene is almost universally (source: I am so horny for a counter example tbh) considered a desirable physical trait, with exceptions tending to be for CONTEXT around why someone isn't appearing hygienic. That isn't really what the gripe is about (I am not going to say "white men should be allowed to be sloppy and also expect immediate physical validation" lol)

Its just... tbh most white men I have consistently hung around were not someone who could be posted on twitter to hunt for a mob of sweaty gifs. I nearly called them "ugly," quotations and all, there but fucking hell, they arent. And I don't mean their personality made them more attractive, or even the nebulous "how they carry" themselves. I mean like... physically they were interesting, distinct, and attractive.

For example, the first guy that comes to mind was the incredibly skinny and average heighted kid I was close with in the later years of high school. When I say skinny, I don't mean slim. I mean skeletal, even though he wasn't unhealthy or anything. His skin was worn tight around his features, his muscles more function over flash, his movements highlighted by features that seemed longer by the visible joints and bone.

He had large eyes, but they weren't bulging. A crooked hairline, and even in those young years his crown was thinning. The classic thin white boy lips, and angular features. We were all awkward, but his stumbling coming-of-age screamed eternal. He didn't have the height that other boys with similar body types could lean on, and wasn't inclined to strenuous physical activity like sports or weight lifting (not lazy, mind you)

I remember him, along with a surprisingly diverse group of friends he and I belonged to, because he felt the anger and despair that comes with thinking you just simply weren't born the right way to get the kind of love you deserve. It manifested exactly how a funny jokester on twitter might lay out - a bitterness towards women and more physically acceptable men that stretched far outside what was reasonable without tracing the problem any further than that.

Now me. I am strikingly average. Not in the "all white men look the same" kind of way, but in a bell curve kind of way. I was average weight, average height, average face shape, etc. Looking at my individual features might paint a more novel picture but somehow putting them all together gives me god damn chameleon powers. I will note that these judgements come from YEARS of self-assessment both internally and with external validation, and is not meant to be self-deprecation NOR am I implying that this is the conclusion people will always make when they look at me.

My point is actually that people have yet to be compelled to look at me without some non-physical stimulus. With adjustments and realizations, this suits me quite well tbh. I will never be eye-grabbing, but I can play any social role a white man can play with just a little prep time, and I've had to work on who I am internally in order to be remembered.

I bring up my friend and myself because I considered us both in the same boat, when I know he did not. I was just close enough to the general acceptance of physical attractiveness to not be a problem, but far enough away to make him feel isolated. That he was the only "ugly" one in the room.

I will skip some of the obvious problematic lessons this boy had to learn. You can probably guess some of them. These days, however, he wears his hair wavy-messy in a way that doesn't cover up his bald spot since it seems to just affect his crown, but changes it from a problem to a quirk. He is still skinny, and pale (did I mention that?) and frankly doesn't really look much different to me after all these years besides the hair. HOWEVER, the awkwardness that prophesized to be eternal did leave him at some point, and now when he moves all the tight skin and telltale bones and joints seem intentional. He moves his arms, hands and fingers deliberately and slowly but most of all, he moves them at the same time. It generates a grace that doesn't come from your typical sources of agility like sports, yoga, dancing, etc. He simply accepted his body in a very subtle and (to me) impressive way.

this isn't going to be a "he loved himself for who he was" story.

He aged a bit, got some laugh lines and forehead creases. His pronounced skull is now defined as sharp and handsome. Of course, he didn't physically change. He adapted and adjusted. How he got there from the MRA-incel adjacent angsty 19 year old I left him to be is a mystery, but he isn't far off from my own personal ideological vagary of egalitarian compassion. Its not something it happens often and knowing him and feeling the same bitterness its hard... sometimes... to remember that what awful man he COULD have been is the unexpected abberant... and not a reasonable response from a kid that was stoked through progressive lefts calling every bad person ugly or creepy on twitter as a clapback or being told he has to earn love, somehow, through means that are a mystery to him from some chode who clearly landed upper management at their father's lawfirm with the Chris Hemsworth face.

Obviously the less-than-ideal white men aren't destined for the worst outcome, and its not what I'd call an excuse since clearly there is a path out. I will eat my PC if that path was exclusively internal and without some kind of validation though, and with how we treat people... why be surprised? You helped make this hell casserole. Stop putting shit in the casserole.