bejoomi

[bejoomi]

joomi is tired. he hasn't been sleeping well lately. his body is still getting used to a new jinyoungless routine – going home to his apartment every night, sleeping in his bed every night, alone. it's a big adjustment. all of him is still getting used to it, really. his heart and brain, too.

he is too logical to believe this feeling will last forever. he knows in time he will form a new routine, and only think of jinyoung sometimes, fondly but painlessly.

for now, though, he has to sit with this feeling of absence, and learn to live with it. his therapist said this part of him needs patience to heal properly – and honestly, joomi doesn't really want to rush the healing process. (maybe some part of him doesn't want to heal and move on at all.)

what he does want is to go back to sleep. he finds himself dozing off on the morning bus almost as soon as he puts his earbuds in his ears. in any other state, he would realize they weren't connected without someone else pointing it out, but this morning, he doesn't really question why his music sounds quieter than usual.

until the stranger taps him on the shoulder, and joomi blinks quickly, trying to rid himself of the sleepiness. he looks over at him, then down at his phone.

he didn't even really realize what song was playing before, either. it's an old instrumental he made, before he was a trainee – before dead calm, even. he posted it online and didn't have much of a following. it makes his eyebrows furrow together in confusion. "thank you...?" he replies hesitantly, still perplexed. he realizes belatedly that that response probably doesn't make sense without further context. "sorry, um. i composed this. where did you hear it?" could he really be someone who stumbled upon his music that long ago?

making music // @bejoomi

it's not everyday that the bus is this empty. really, it isn't. wooyoung isn't so sure by what sort of stroke of luck he's hit with, when he enters the bus and sees only one other guy there. but it's a lot better than having to be needlessly squeezed and tossed around from side to side.

his hands are freezing as he takes a seat behind the boy, and he rests his head against the window, digging into his bag for his headphones. music is a curse, sure it is – it's something that he thinks he can never quite fall back into. but the only horrid part about it is making music. he's told himself time and time again that he can never fall back into it; that if he does, his heart might explode one day and everyone around him would be privy to the catastrophe that is his brain.

still, for what it's worth, he can't quite sit still on a long bus ride without at least listening to some sort of music. so he continues searching in his bag for his headphones, only to realize that shit, he's left it at home. great. music is a curse and wooyoung is an idiot with a terrible memory. he sighs loudly and takes a look at his phone. he'll have to handle at least 12 stops without music and the sound of the bus churning.

that is of course, until he hears a familiar sound playing. at first he thinks it's his brain playing tricks on him, a track that he's heard of before – not his own, but a friend's. a friend...? was that wooyoung would've called him? wooyoung's not sure, he doesn't even know the producer's real name, but they'd exchanged messages to each other here and there before wooyoung had decided to erase his existence with music from the face of the earth. still, it's odd for him to hear this out of nowhere, to even think about it.

he blinks a few times, shifts in his seat, before he realizes that the sound is coming from the guy in front of him. his eyes trail down to his phone, and it's only then when he realizes that ah – this guy probably didn't connect his earphones to his phone. no wonder wooyoung could hear his song so clearly.

it's a little amusing, really, but wooyoung smiles, before he taps the shoulder of the stranger gently. "your earphones aren't connected," he gestures to his ears. "i love this song, by the way."

[bejoomi]

jay asks if he's getting old, and joomi is temporarily forced to confront the fact that he and jay are actually born in the same year. he just feels older than him. whether that's because jay acts young or joomi acts old is up for debate. maybe it's a bit of both, honestly. either way, he chooses to take the question as rhetorical and focus on the workshop instead.

"did they really say the dark web?" joomi chuckles. "isn't that, like..." he cuts himself off, thinking better of talking about the content of the dark web in the middle of a delta workshop. "deep web, maybe? they're similar, but the dark web is like...darker," joomi laughs a little again, almost awkwardly.

he's happy to move on and yap about something that interests him more anyway. "surely delta has the budget, it's just a matter of if they'd want to spend it on us or not," he chuckles.

"oh, the stuff i did really wasn't that complicated or impressive. it was mostly like, where does everyone stand on stage, what order should we perform the songs, should we do any special intros or transitions, what should the lighting look like at each part of the show? we did have a fog machine one time, though. that was fun. we used it to make a dramatic entrance, but it was supposed to shut off on a timer and it didn't. so i had to like, casually turn it off in the middle of the first song so the crowd could even still see us." he smiles fondly at the memory.

joomi loves being a studio delta trainee, but he still misses being in a band sometimes. he knows he made the right choice to sign to delta, and that dead calm would've dissolved soon enough regardless of what he decided. but he knows if they did all stay together, he would've been happy with that life, too. maybe happier than he is now – but there's no use dwelling on it.

this time around, jay is properly interested in whatever this workshop has to offer. surprisingly! however, that doesn’t mean he likes sitting around in a class listening to the monotonous lecture that reminds him of university.

it’s admittedly kind of boring, his eyes glazing over several times during the first few parts of the workshop. he doesn’t hate it, and it isn’t mind grating in the slightest—it’s just boring, because it’s a lot of taking in information before they can apply what they’ve learned into the real world.

“my back hurts,” jay complains, craning his spine in hopes that he could right whatever wrong his sitting posture caused. “am i getting old?” he questions absentmindedly, before turning around to give joomi his attention.

“how they searched every nook and cranny of the dark web to pull out the strangest sounds to include in their experimental music?” he phrases his answer like it’s a question, as if he’s unsure whether he dreamed that part of the lecture or not. “that’s most of what i remember, really.” he shrugs.

“it sounds like a lot of fun! i have no idea if they’ll trust me with that, i feel like i’d ask for the most dramatic stage ever and they’ll say no, we don’t have the budget.” he laughs. “but what were yours like then, dad?”

[bejoomi]

the stranger speaks – says he hopes joomi is taking care of himself. it's such a strange thing for someone he doesn't know to say. it gets even stranger, despite the other man's assurance that joomi doesn't have to share anything with him. i just hope you know you don't have to be alone.

that guardian angel theory is starting to feel a little less ridiculous by the second. it's silly, though – isn't it?

it's just odd. enter strange man who resembles his ex he misses dearly. strange man says exactly what joomi needs to hear – probably.

"i know," joomi answers, but his lips quirk up in the smallest smile. he does know, really. he has a lot of wonderful people around him now, despite the ones he's lost in recent months. he knows that. sometimes it's not enough, and the loneliness still feels like it's chewing a hole through his stomach. sometimes it is. he supposes he'll take what he can get.

the other man accepts joomi's offer of advil, so he digs around in his pocket for the pill case he always keeps with him. he finds it, opens it, and one single advil remains, lucky for them.

he approaches the stranger once again, and holds his hand out to him, offering the medication. joomi nods in quiet acknowledgement to his gratitude.

you don't have to be alone. he knows. he knows, but he doesn't feel it. even when he's with other people, he still doesn't feel it. there is a longing in him he doesn't know how to fix. maybe it's just something he'll live with for the next two years that will only settle once he can bury his face in jinyoung's shoulder, or watch the way the lights of lotte world paint his face from the balloon ride.

he realizes he's been staring vacantly at jinyoung's doppleganger for several long moments, and quickly averts his gaze. he's the weird one, isn't he?

he knows he doesn't owe this man an explanation, but he feels a little like he does. or maybe the illusion of familiarity makes him want to open up. if he does, it will be like a wound more than anything pleasant.

"sorry," he decides to say. "you remind me...a lot of someone i miss." his gaze drifts, scanning the park around them subconsciously. "we used to come here. not a lot, but...enough." enough for him to see traces of jinyoung everywhere here.

it all sounds quite ominous and fatalistic, he realizes. "he's not dead," joomi adds quickly. he knows that's probably what it sounds like. he's just being dramatic. "he's just in the military. but..." he shrugs. he still misses him.

"the cat's not also your roommate, right?" jiu jokes, since the stranger seems open to a little bit of interaction now. maybe he'll laugh. more likely, jiu's assuming, he'll just continue to give him that dead-eyed stare that's honestly a little unsettling. he knows it's none of his business, he won't be offended if there's no real answer, but... well, isn't part of being human the joy of connection? of bonding with a stranger, if only for a couple minutes, due to the lack of accessible seating in a very crowded theme park during one of the busiest family holidays of the year? the man hums his understanding, silently accepting the fact that there are types of not okay that are better spent alone. or, well, they feel that way in the beginning. quiet time is nice, but jiu has started to believe that being alone for too long can never be a good thing. still, he won't meddle in a life that has no interest in him being a part of it.

"i just hope you're taking care of yourself, y'know?" maybe it is too much from a total stranger. jiu doesn't care; life would be so much bleaker without sharing a little kindness here and there. "and whatever you're dealing with works itself out. you don't have to confide anything in me, i get it, it'd be super creepy if we just met and i asked you to tell me all your secrets when i don't even know your name. but i just hope you know you don't have to be alone." that's a lot, isn't it? and he's making assumptions again. ah, jiu can't help it. "but don't listen to me. i'm just a weird guy on a bench." he laughs.

the last thing he expects from this interaction is for the other man to offer any sort of assistance. not only is he clearly dealing with his own shit and seems like he can't get out of this place fast enough, he just... didn't seem like a particularly friendly type of guy. jiu recovers quickly from his surprise though, a smile on his face as he shakes his head. "advil would be great, actually," he accepts. see? accepting help isn't so hard, he almost wants to say. but he won't be catty with a complete stranger on the first meeting; that's too much even for him. "i mean, i'm fine. it's just an old injury that likes to act up, y'know? my brother says i'm like an old man." he smiles, always fond at the mere mention of his family. but yeah, anything to help take down the swelling from the irritation would be great.

"thank you," he minds his manners, as his mother always taught him. even if he never sees this man again, he'll leave a good enough impression behind. hopefully, at least.

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – exit stage left

this workshop is long.

don't get joomi wrong – he loves it. learning about the creative process behind delta's songs is way better than the acting workshop he got stuck in the other month. he listens intently, and he takes notes in handwriting far neater than the typical scrawl in his songwriting notebooks.

it's just that when the instructor calls for them to take a break and get back to the workshop in 15 minutes, he feels stiff. the classic sitting in an uncomfortable ass chair for too long sort of stiff.

so he stretches absentmindedly, and just as absentmindedly looks over at jay, who's been sitting next to him, naturally.

"do you remember what the second part of the workshop is about?" he asks. admittedly he was too busy taking notes about everything else to really hear for himself. "i hope they have one on stage direction or something one day. i did a little bit of that with my band, but it was like...amateur shit. i'm sure there's a lot i was missing. it was really fun though."

–– @bejaeyoung

[bejoomi]

— send me an emoji and i will answer the question based on it !

it’s game time, wannabes! to participate in this askbox meme, please reblog this post to let your fellow members know that you’re accepting meme asks/submissions at this time. please be sure to send asks to your fellow members who reblog this meme as well! what goes around comes around in a rp community, so if you’re short on asks then the best way to get more is to send some of your own!

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🍄: how will your muse spend seollal this year? will it be different than the previous?

✈️ : are there people your muse is choosing to leave behind in 2024?

🍂: have there been any changes to your muse's mindset over the course of the year? how have they grown?

🫂: how has your muse's relationship with their family progressed?

✍️ : is your muse getting into anything new? hobbies, interests, etc.

💭: please show a short glimpse into your muse's diary entry that they might have written about last year.

🤔: what are your muse's hopes and dreams? has it changed?

❤️‍🩹: is there anyone your muse will miss in 2025?

💔: what made your muse cry the most in 2024?

🎪: what is one thing your muse would like to achieve in 2025?

📝: is there anything your muse would want to change in 2024? what would that be and why?

🎭: what is your muse’s happiest moment in 2024? 

🧼: what is your muse’s greatest achievement in 2024? how has it impacted their life?

[bejoomi]

all things considered, introducing a group is not that big of a deal.

it's not like there are any names for him to forget, unless he forgets the name of the company he's representing – which, surely he wouldn't.

it's not really the words themselves, but the responsibility that comes with them. this is studio delta acknowledging him as a representative of delta's potential future boy group. not ren – who undoubtedly has more experience with all of this, and is a significantly bigger name than him. joomi.

he's honored, really. that's the only reason why introducing the group is indeed a big deal.

it's also a big deal that he's opening the song, and closing the song, and rapping, and sharing a high note with ren. it's so much – but it's that same feeling. studio delta trusts in his ability to do all of this. an honor.

it makes him more determined to do a good job than he is nervous to fail, but he is also nervous.

what's ridiculous is that he doesn't even know what to say. delta's staff said to keep it short and simple. something like hi, we are studio delta's boys, performing shine by vertex. we hope you enjoy the performance, will probably be perfect, right?

but nothing he can think of feels right, so he focuses on practice, figuring the right words to say will fall into place in time.

or jay will force him to figure it out, apparently. joomi is already suspicious the moment jay greets him and hands him a water bottle, but he takes it anyway with a look that can't help but be skeptical. and yes, there it is: a question about the speech.

all things considered, this is pretty ridiculous and a little funny. it's two lines.

he chuckles and shakes his head. "i don't think a one-liner would be enough, sadly." it would be memorable, though. "i think i'm supposed to keep it pretty simple, so probably...anything will be fine."

he figures jay will ask him to rehearse or something, so he offers him an example first: "hello, we are studio delta's boys. we'll be performing shine by vertex. please look after us well..." his voice is flat, far from the warmth it will hopefully have the day of the concert. it's just an example, though.

one-liner.

who would've thought that they'd be performing in lotte world in front of a bunch of people that probably don't know who they are? actually, that might be being too harsh on themselves—every studio delta boy were participants in next gen, oddly enough. is it a requirement to go through an ungodly amount of stress and pressure before being signed in studio delta? maybe. it builds character, keeps them memorable, strives them to get better. or whatever it is motivational speakers would say.

fame was never exactly something he sought for, but it's a side effect to his future goals. a reward of sorts. this performance, this mini concert, feels like a proper step in that direction. by this point, he should probably start overthinking and second guessing everything he has done during his trainee days. heart pumping, head spinning, hair standing. like it's a rite of passage, before stepping out into the world for a considerable amount of the public eye to watch and dissect. more than that though, jay is excited, thrilled at the prospect of being on stage again.

if anything, the upcoming concert reminds him of those days he used to spend performing for charity. to promote the orphanage he spent a lot of his childhood in, to do something good in spite of all the bad. truth be told, he missed the old days. it's been a while. all the sweat soaking his shirt after a session of dance practice, the dryness at the base of his throat from his rapid movements—every bit of it feels worth it. not just another mindless performance for clicks.

he knows there are others who'd be a little more nervous under the spotlight though, entrusted with bigger things. case in point, his own non-biological dad ( but who cares about blood? ). upon finding out that @bejoomi will be the one introducing the group like a leader would, jay isn't surprised in the slightest. because who else, if not joomi?

still, he does wonder what joomi would say. is he nervous? is he overthinking his words? now that they're all sluggish with their energy zapped from relentless practice, it's the perfect opportunity to corner joomi. so that's exactly what he does, quite literally, with a towel curled around his neck, two bottles in hand. "hey dad," jay greets nonchalantly, holding out one of the drinks. "still thinking about your two-lines speech later on?"

jay refuses to budge from his position, looking at joomi with determined eyes. there's no escape, he subtly says. "or are you gonna start us off with a banger of a one-liner? that'd be sick!"

[bejoomi]

joomi is tired, but excited.

he really does love his job, but sometimes training feels...not pointless, but like they're just giving them things to do to tide them over until the company is ready to debut a new group. busywork, almost.

this is different, though. they have a goal. joomi will be standing on stage again in front of people that aren't his co-workers for...the first time in over a year, right? it's crazy. it's exciting.

and a little stressful. but the atmosphere and vibes among the delta boys are good. it kind of feels like they match shine perfectly, actually, and joomi is relieved to say that he genuinely loves these guys. they're fun to work with, and they're good at what they do. if studio delta is putting them in a group for a concert, that's a good sign that they might debut like this, right?

he tries not to get too far ahead of himself, but he's glad that the idea of it is more exciting than scary.

first, they have to get through the concert – no, first, they have to get through this rehearsal.

stevie, happy pill that he always is, comes and drapes himself over joomi, and joomi can't help but smile, letting himself be swayed around awkwardly. when stevie laughs, he does too.

"sure," he agrees with a nod. stevie is right about the choreography. it's not too hard, but the timing is important, and none of them can be sloppy. however – "i was actually hoping you could help me with my opening rap, when you get the chance." he smiles sheepishly. it's still a little surreal to even say: my opening rap. who knew something he started learning for fun would end up as something he would need to do at a concert.

"it doesn't really matter what we do first, though. we'll have to work on all of it eventually."

better judgement.

< w @bejoomi >

humming the tune of shine, stevie bounds over to joomi. he's tired, the practice they've been putting in beating him down throughout the day. but it doesn't last long, far too excited for all the exciting things that's in store for them in the upcoming month. a mini-concert? this soon after signing? people are going to see him perform?

it's mind boggling.

it's in the lull between that he drapes himself over joomi with an exaggerated oof. taking a breath in, he begins to softly sing the lyrics to shine to the older, moving both their bodies in an awkward dance before he laughs to break it off.

"you wanna pair up with me when we start back up again?" he asks, already planning what to work on next. "the part after the...y'know--" he makes the motion of the dance in gesture. "--it goes by pretty fast. and the legwork has to be pretty precise to make it work." he rattles off his thought process, eyes flicking up to the ceiling as he recalls.

[bejoomi]

yeseul is, admittedly, a little strange.

joomi likes that about her, though. in his book, it's far better to be strange than boring.

he also knows they are both homebodies, so, in an attempt to make sure they both leave the house over their break from training, joomi asked her to go to walk around the christmas market with him.

she readily agreed, thankfully. joomi makes his way to where they agreed to meet completely oblivious to yeseul's plan.

that is – until he arrives and she isn't there yet. sure, yeseul is comfortable with him, but she's also quite anxious, and doesn't strike joomi as the type to be late. he looks around for her.

she's probably planning to jump out at me, isn't she? he realizes. while he expects that much, he doesn't expect the attack to come from behind him.

the snowball hitting his head isn't that big of a deal. it's the thing exploding and shedding snow down the back of his neck that sucks. he tries to shake it off. it works to some degree, but makes some of it just slide under his coat and down his back and it's cold as fuck.

still, he figures he deserved that, after what he put yeseul through on halloween. "i had a feeling you were up to something, but i wasn't expecting that, so i guess so," he chuckles.

she's cute. he can't possibly be mad. "can you help me get the snow out of my hood now? please?" he asks regardless, turning his back to her so she can help. he's trusting her not to throw another snowball at him.

snowy surprise ♬⋆.˚ starter for @bejoomi

yeseul has it all planned in her head.

she grins to herself as she awaits the arrival of joomi, amongst the pretty christmas decorations. it’s pretty cold, and her hands are shaking from the chilling temperature. but it’s all worth it. she came here early to prepare for one thing— the perfect snowball, as large as her palm.

this is bae yeseul’s revenge, she has not forgotten about the halloween party incident ( where the boy dragged her around to meet their seniors without informing her prior ). she has it all orchestrated in her head; when joomi is looking around for her, he will be attacked with a fluffy snowball in the… head. not the face. yeseul is a nice girl, so joomi should be grateful that she is going light on him.

but of course, after all that, she had prepared a little christmas gift for him. yeseul is excited to gift it to him too! but the revenge plan starts first.

the girl hides around, making sure that joomi will not catch her in any circumstances. she has surveyed the location beforehand, her plan will be perfect. when joomi inevitably arrives, yeseul grins cheekily, holding the snowball in her dear little hands. when she notices that he’s starting to look suspicious, she catches him off guard by launching the snowball at the back of his head.

“snowball shower!” she laughs as she chants her ‘magic spell’, then looking proud of her successful revenge plan. “wereyousurprised?wereyou?wahahaha!” she hops towards him, still with a cheeky smile plastered on her face.

[bejoomi]

joomi has historically made some bad decisions – mostly related to people he's been interested in.

then again, plenty of people would consider his feelings for jinyoung a bad decision, including himself at points – as if he had a choice. he doesn't think that anymore, though, even though technically, moon jinyoung has once again hurt him and left him to put the pieces back together by himself.

he doesn't blame jinyoung this time, though. he never really blamed jinyoung, for better or worse. it was always just circumstances. bad timing. in the end, he and jinyoung still loved – love? – each other, and that's more than he ever thought he would get. sure, he wishes there was more time, but he's glad he got to experience moon jinyoung the way he did at all.

he figures this blind date is probably another bad decision. it's just a matter of if it'll be worth it in the end or not – and if he's a friend of yinuo's, surely he can't be that bad. joomi, for better or worse, trusts her, and he is tired of being lonely and depressed, so he agrees.

he figures the worst that can happen is they have terrible chemistry and it's awkward. or maybe the worst that can happen is joomi actually likes him and falls in love again far too quickly. he doesn't want to do that. he's not looking for love again, really. he's just looking for...something. he doesn't know what.

that feeling of needing something – missing something – unknown to him is ultimately what keeps him from canceling the date. it's what gets him to leave his apartment and embrace the chill, and what makes him push the emptiness of being alone on seoul's crowded streets out of his mind for now.

when he approaches their rendezvous point, he checks his phone to refresh his memory on the defining features he's supposed to be looking for to identify his date. yellow scarf.

he catches sight of it at the same time that he hears his name. huh?

he recognizes him then. hangyeol. oh fuck no. that's yejun's...well. boyfriend, but not boyfriend.

yinuo was right. they are in very similar situations, aren't they? for as much as he feels bad going on "a date" with the man one of his closest friends was head-over-heels for, he also finds relief in the fact that he won't have to explain anything. if they want to talk about their past relationships, he won't have to try to find a description to do jinyoung's simultaneous insufferable and endearing nature justice.

hangyeol knows jinyoung. joomi knows yejun. there is understanding here. is that what he's looking for...?

"yeah," joomi half sighs, half chuckles as he pushes his way through the crowded streets to stand beside hangyeol. "hi," he greets him, a little awkwardly. truthfully, he has no idea what to do or say. from his observations, hangyeol is the warmer of the two of them. joomi hopes he doesn't mind taking the lead on whatever the fuck they do now.

say, what's in this drink?

@bejoomi

it was probably inadvisable to some, being a trainee in the public eye, fresh off of national television, and meeting a blind date, of all people, at the very venue he would eventually be performing at as said trainee. for all anyone knew, hangyeol could be meeting his ex's cousin, or an axe murderer, or someone who didn't like seafood (the latter being the only deal-breaker among his close relatives, a fish market family of multiple generations). but he trusted yinuo when she suggested it, even if the only real introduction he had was the fact that both he and his date shared in common a fresh, complicated, lingering heartbreak. they weren't the healthiest parameters for beginning a new potential relationship, but at least they'd have something in common to talk about.

hangyeol stood at their agreed upon meeting place, in front of the bustling samsung store with its unmistakable black and white signage overhead, clutching two cardboard-sleeved beverages in mittened hands. his scarf, mustard yellow to stand out among a sea of reds and greens and to bring out the warm highlights in his freshly treated rolts, had migrated from just around his neck to where he now gratefully hid his mouth and nose from the biting december chill, which seemed to, for the most part, keep most sets of curious eyes from lingering too long.

he was tempted to sip one of the hot drinks prematurely, despite his previous plans to let his unknown companion choose between the two (one taro-matcha latte and one peppermint mocha), just to have something warm to do while the clouds overhead thickened and threatened to snow on the cheerful festival-goers at any moment. it was winter days like these, surrounded by commerce and high rises, that he missed his quiet seaside hometown; at least any chilled breezes that passed through his bones at home carried the ocean's promises of newness and adventure with them.

"ah-" he craned his neck to peer through the throngs, thinking perhaps he had spotted someone matching the physical description they'd exchanged over sns, "joomi? is that you? i'm over here-"

[bejoomi]

hi everyone! i had every intention to do replies this weekend but as always time got away from me, so i still owe a ton of event stuff with the deadline coming up. this is just a post to say i do very much still intend to get to all of our threads, but please let me know if you need a reply back by a certain time so you can reply to it in time! and tysm for your patience everyone 😭💗

[bejoomi]

the familiar-looking stranger expresses concern for him, and it gives joomi pause. are you okay? like, i get it, total strangers here, but if you're not feeling well are you sure you should be alone? well, he's already nicer than jinyoung. there's something very pathetic about that realization, and the fact that he isn't sure his ex not-quite-boyfriend would be nearly as worried in the same situation.

he lets out a long exhale. he doesn't know how to answer, honestly. he's not really okay, but he's not okay for a dumb reason – at least in this moment. well, it's not that dumb to be sad over memories at lotte world with your ex. it's the freaking out because a stranger looks similar to him part that's weird.

thankfully, said stranger speaks again, amending his statement and absolving joomi of the obligation to answer if he's okay or not. instead, he can stupidly say, "i have a cat," like that'll be at all reassuring to someone worried about him being alone. "and a roommate," he quickly adds, though he isn't sure if sua will be home if he heads back now, considering she was also part of the concert here.

"it's the kind of...unwell...that's conducive to being alone anyway," he attempts to reassure him, likely still to no avail. at least it's better than what he was considering saying: i'm always alone. "i have friends...around...anyway," he says to counteract his own thought. he suspects they're all busy though. "but i just want to go home. i'll be fine."

he watches as the stranger adjusts and props up his leg. joomi shakes his head, a silent you don't need to apologize that may or may not be communicated effectively. he frowns, though – not due to losing his spot, but out of his own concern.

he should probably just leave now, but he wouldn't do that to any stranger who didn't look like jinyoung. it's ultimately not really fair to treat him differently for something he can't help, right?

"do you need a tylenol?" he offers in the end. "or advil. i have some." nevermind the fact that it will bring back memories of giving jinyoung pain meds for his stupid broken finger on halloween if the stranger accepts. he thinks it's only fair to return concern with concern, so he'll live.

his greeting and attempts at idle conversation are only met with silence and a far away stare from a man who looks like he's not really seeing the world in front of him, rather a different, far away place filled with horrors beyond human comprehension. still, jiu doesn't find himself all that worried that he's placed himself next to a dangerous crazy person or anything like that. he fancies himself as someone with pretty good intuition and the universe isn't sending him watch out, that's a serial killer vibes right now, so it should be fine, right?

still, the quiet is a little unnerving. it's not like jiu needs to fill the space with endless yammering but surely all humans innately crave connection, don't they? is this man so averse to forming relationships that he won't even entertain the frail and forgettable bond between two strangers sharing a moment of rest in a theme park? jiu was probably right when he assumed that this guy is fighting demons no one else can see. he finds himself feeling sorry for the guy; it's no fun to be so alone around the holidays that even chatting with a stranger is too big of a task.

it's not a huge shock when the guy stands abruptly, announcing he needs to go. really, jiu should just let him. he's a stranger, he doesn't know anything about him, and yet he finds himself concerned. "oh, yeah, i get it," he accepts the apology easily, mentally counting the victory that is knowing a guy with decent manners like this can't possibly be a psychopath. "are you okay? like, i get it, total strangers here, but if you're not feeling well are you sure you should be alone?" his brow furrows, but only for a moment before he realizes something else. "oh shit, sorry, i shouldn't assume you're, like, living alone just because you were sitting alone here. that's my bad." he doesn't know anything about the guy but he shouldn't be making baseless assumptions that help no one in the long run.

ultimately, it's a good thing if the guy just leaves. it would give jiu the space to put his leg up on the bench, elevating the old injury to hopefully get some of that swelling and irritation down before wobbling home whenever sungwoo is ready to go. but he's also not trying to be rude, so when the guy doesn't leave as quickly as jiu thought he might, he apologizes too. "sorry, i wasn't like... waiting for you to leave or trying to kick out out or anything, i just really need to..." he twists himself to rest his leg across the bench more comfortably, a long, contented sigh escaping him as some of the pain instantly eases up. "bad knee." he explains, if the guy is even still there to care.

[bejoomi]

JEONGIN | HOP COUNTDOWN LIVE

[bejoomi]

joomi doesn't really know how long he sits there staring off into space. he doesn't realize that he might be just zombie-esque enough to scare children and for parents to steer clear of – until someone intentionally addresses him. he snaps back to reality, at least a little.

when he looks to the source of the voice, it feels like getting slapped in the face. of course his ex boyfriend's doppleganger would find him here. part of joomi wonders if he's detached so far from reality that he's hallucinating now. it is decidedly not jinyoung in front of him now, but the resemblance is uncanny.

he surely just stares, blinking in surprise, for several moments too long. to be honest, yes, he does mind. he does not want to share his bench, let alone with this man who resembles someone he is starting to believe is destined to haunt him forever. this reminder of jinyoung is particularly cruel. something breathing. something alive. someone. someone who feels familiar but isn't. someone he does not want, anywhere near him, especially on his bench.

he really considers just saying no. but that would be rude, and to joomi's knowledge, this man has done nothing to deserve that – yet. then again, hopefully they will never see each other again. what does it matter if he's a little rude?

joomi can stll not find it in his heart to be cruel to people for no reason. granted, he does have his reasons, but the stranger asking to share his seat can't help the fact that he looks like his ex. it's unfair to punish him for it.

so he just nods, small, and a moment later, mutters, "i was just leaving anyway. or, going to leave," and he does want to get out of here.

he very much needs to escape this situation, especially as jinyoung's doppleganger takes a seat beside him. it's all lighthearted – familiar. but wrong. it's all wrong.

he realizes, moments before he stands up suddenly to leave, that this is really stupid. really? a guy shows up looking like his ex, and joomi has a meltdown? it's not like it was a terrible breakup. it's not like he's dead. for any normal person this situation would be strange. maybe funny, even. but it would ultimately be nothing. right?

it's been a long day, hasn't it? the stranger asks, almost knowingly. maybe joomi is just imagining that. or maybe this is some weird guardian angel coming to dig him out of the hole he somehow keeps finding himself in. i don't want it. i can climb out myself, he informs the universe, or whatever higher power might be in charge of such a thing.

or maybe he's just some normal, unsuspecting guy who is either fearless or stupid enough to talk to someone who surely doesn't look remotely approachable.

he's left the man's question hanging in the air for too long. it's probably best to decide it's rhetorical now, and not answer at all. he doesn't want to talk. he feels too vulnerable. he doesn't know what he'll say to someone who looks like that, and joomi knows better than to think the world will show him the mercy of never seeing him again at this point. with his luck they probably...go to the same grocery store.

maybe joomi is part of some time loop anime, where he is destined to relive the relationship that fundamentally altered his life trajectory, just with slight alterations each time. he is doomed to love and lose in similar ways 5 billion times until he eventually, finally, finds a way to break the cycle and get a happy ending. probably when he's 102 years old, so he gets about 5 days to enjoy it before he kicks the bucket.

or, more realistically, he's being ridiculous and crazy and needs to chill the fuck out. this is just some guy. the resemblance is an unfortunate coincidence.

so, what does he do? the solution is probably still to just go home. this place is loud and he feels miserable and he really just wants to lay on the couch and pet his cat.

he stands up, perhaps a little too suddenly.

he turns to the stranger then, feeling the need to offer some explanation. "i'm sorry. i don't mean to be rude. i just...don't feel very well, and should probably get home. as soon as i can."

sungwoo is seventeen, just a year away from being considered an adult, and yet their mother can't seem to stop treating the baby of the family like a child. jiu gets it, to some extent. sungwoo is, officially, her last child. han sooah, well over the age of 45, is too old to adopt another young child and raise him into another fine young adult after four successful sons. sungwoo will always be her baby, mostly due to age, but jiu knows better than to assume that his disability doesn't play any part in their mother's smothering of worried affection. she knows better, and yet a mother can't help but fret. so when sangwoo wanted to use one of his days of winter break to go to lotte world with his friends, of course she didn't say no, but she did ask her next youngest son to go too, not to follow the kids around but to just be there in case they need anything. and, of course, jiu said yes.

all that said, jiu is decidedly not sangwoo's babysitter anymore. the kid and his friends are somewhere in the park, hopefully not causing a scene, and enjoying the day amongst themselves. jiu takes the day at his own pace, still a beat slower than he would have before the accident. that's the thing about fucking up your knee, it doesn't just fuck over the knee. soon the hip starts to act out, thanks to the altered gait from the injury and recovery. then, of course, the ache travels up the spine. he feels like he's at least twice his own age some mornings and he finds himself grateful that he's not trying to keep up with the teenagers; they'd probably be bored out of their minds waiting for jiu to keep up with their never ending energy. ah, well, it's been fun anyway. the rides aren't as fun as they used to be when he was a kid but the atmosphere is nice enough. the ambient loop of christmas music, the red and green decor around the park. it's definitely starting to put jiu in the holiday spirit.

he is getting tired again though, his leg a little achier than he'd like it to be, so finding a seat to take the pressure off for a few minutes has become top priority. of course, finding a open bench in a crowded theme park full of families is no easy task. most within eyeshot are fully occupied by mothers wrangling young children and too many gift bags from the souvenir stores, grandparents taking a break from trying to keep up with the grandparents, and groups of teens taking a break to chatter away. jiu doesn't really want to bother any of them if he doesn't have to, but there's another option. people seem to move around him, like they don't want to catch his attention. and jiu can see why, the young man has a sort of faraway look in his eyes, like he's fighting some battle that only he can see. while it might be unnerving to some, it's not wholly unfamiliar to jiu, who has faced down his own demons and helped tackle those of so many other lost kids. it's nothing that scares him.

maybe this is a win-win situation. jiu needs a seat, and the stranger on the bench might need some company. so he approaches, calling out a greeting as he nears the stranger.

"hey," he tries to catch the young man's attention, "do you mind if i share your bench for a bit? i have the body of an 80-year-old and i think i might fall apart if i have to walk another step." he keeps it lighthearted, nonthreatening, and waits for a confirmation before he sits himself down next to the stranger. "oh, that feels good," he stretches out his bad leg, unable to truly elevate it but at least taking the pressure off helps. "it's been a long day, hasn't it?"

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – shine

joomi is a little overwhelmed.

it's mostly in a good way, but he's feeling a similar in over his head that he did during his early days on next gen's first season. that ugly imposter syndrome rears its head, if only a little.

delta's staff just assigned them their parts for their performance at the christmas concert. joomi gets to introduce the group as a whole. he also starts the song, with a rap, and ends the song. not only that – but he shares the harmonized high note with ren.

part of joomi feels drastically unqualified for these responsibilities. part of him, however – and a far larger part than he expects – thinks, is there really anyone better for this? the delta and axis staff didn't seem to think so, so he figures he should trust their decisions, and trust in his own ability to perform well.

there is one problem: their instructors didn't assign who gets the lower and higher harmony between him and ren. one of them will get to hold out the note in a proper high note, and the other will just be there to compliment the moment. and they get to decide, apparently.

part of joomi wonders if the staff is aware ren occasionally has a weird inferiority complex with him. maybe this is a test to see if they can overcome it, and come to a compromise without any strange resentment, or anything similar.

of course joomi wants the high note. it would be a great accomplishment and showcase of his skills to open the song with a rap, sing the high note, and close the song. it's odd for him to want something that will garner him so much attention, but he's worked so hard for the past year. it's fine to want to show it off a little, isn't it?

at the same time, he doesn't want the performance to become the joomi show. he wants all of the other boys to shine too. and he also doesn't want to give ren more reason to envy him or resent him than he apparently already has.

ultimately the best thing to do is talk about it. he isn't sure how hard he'll push for his own desires, if at all – but they'll come to a decision one way or another.

"so, what do you think about the high note?" he asks ren, once they're given time to practice the song independently. "what do you want to do?"

– @renxbe

[bejoomi]

🎄 event plotcall + tracker

hiii everyone!! u know what time it is! time to ramble about how joomi, @benayoung and @rihabe are feeling about the new event(s) and some ideas under the cut and ask you to like this post if you'd like to plot! i'm looking mainly for christmas event stuff but i'm also down for general plotting if we can come up with anything fun ☺️ as always, i'll use this post as a tracker too. let's gooooo

JOOMI

CHRISTMAS ON ICE

christmas is always a bit of a rough time for joomi because it is so Family-Oriented and he has no family </3 he thought this year would be better because he had jinyoung but because jinyoung enlisted he feels quite lonely. his instinct is to just Ignore everything related to christmas and Survive but i for one think it would be nice for him to have some festive fun. his savings are dwindling so he is probably not buying christmas gifts this year and just doing cards or something...but he likes window shopping. he is telling me he only ever went ice skating with his evil ex so it would be nice if a friend or few dragged him out to make better memories! i think he'll like the garden too, and he's always fascinated by wish walls and related things so getting Introspective about that is always an option, i'm sure he will do that at some point. or just people watch. then of course he will be performing at the christmas concert!

CHRISTMAS CONCERT

joomi has the honor of introducing delta boys for the concert and he is Terrified. he's like. "i'm just some guy nobody cares who i am why do i have this responsibility" but he IS HONORED and is taking it very seriously. in his mind it's his First Act Of Real Leadership and he is going to try to embody that more i think, so upgraded dad mode for delta boys perhaps. he really wants to do a good job and represent them well in general. he also opens and closes their song, and has a rap part And the high note so he's like. what the hell. guy who used to never get attention in his life and wanted to disappear suddenly getting to do a bunch of cool shit. joomi loves rapping but somehow never considered that he would have to do so in a professional capacity he was always just learning it For Fun so he thinks this is crazy JLSDFSLKD but despite his Fear he is also very excited. i think he will ultimately have a lot of fun! as a fun bonus he used to work at lotte world so it's a very Full Circle moment for him. i do think he will be a bit emo and wish his trainee friends that left could be part of the concert, but he will live, as always <3

TRACKER

CHRISTMAS ON ICE: thread 1: @bejiu (4/4) thread 2: @beyeseul (3/4) bonus thread: @hangyeolbe (3/4) wish solo: pending CHRISTMAS CONCERT prep thread 1: @bejaeyoung (3/4) prep thread 2: @renxbe (2/4) bonus prep thread: @bexstevie (3/4) performance solo: pending

NAYOUNG

CHRISTMAS ON ICE

now. this will be fun because nayoung is a former competitive figure skater. her parents got divorced and she wasn't able to continue lessons and competing so that dream of hers died at around age 16. part of her still misses it a lot and wonders where she would be if she could've kept skating. so!! lots of mixed emotions here!! but i think she's dealt with enough of her baggage by now that she will be happy to ice skate. she probably won't open up about Her Past (at least without someone asking) but she would skate if invited and honestly probably by herself, so lots of opportunities there! she will probably hate the ice show tho like smh they aren't even that good i could've done better!! just nayoung things JKLDKLLKSDG i could use someone to make my life easier and drag her to the wish wall also bc she will not do that by herself. she thinks it's stupid LMAO but she can probably be convinced to do most things, but as usual will probably not ask anyone to do anything with her

CHRISTMAS CONCERT

nayoung also gets to introduce sr media girls! "as expected," she says......she will be bossy and blunt in everything she does for this as usual LJKSDLKSLKDG her perfectionist tendencies will probably jump out for sr media girls because she Really wants their performance to be good. as far as she's concerned she had a really good showing on next gen as a coach and she insists on meeting everyone's expectations or exceeding them. so she might overwork too. she has significant rapping parts so she'll be working on that a lot, because she's not as confident there as she'd like to be. she hates asking people for help but if she knows someone is a skilled rapper she Might ask for assistance in a Roundabout way. like "would you mind listening to me rap this part and giving me honest feedback" u know how it is

TRACKER

CHRISTMAS ON ICE: thread 1: open! thread 2: @bexstevie (1/4) wish solo: pending CHRISTMAS CONCERT prep thread 1: @beyuji (2/4) prep thread 2: @bexsua (1/4) performance solo: pending

RIHA

CHRISTMAS ON ICE

ms riha is still a mere wannabe so this is the only event she can participate in! she may be more subdued than usual because this is her second christmas without her mom, who i think really liked christmas. she's generally pretty good at keeping herself busy and distracted and simply not thinking about her grief but it will be harder this month. catch her crying in the grocery store because her mom's favorite christmas song came on askldjakjlsdgl but as usual she would be happy to do just about anything! i don't think she's ice skated That Much but she is such a sporty gal i imagine she's pretty naturally good at it and she thinks it's fun. she loves christmas too tbh it's just going to be very bittersweet but this is good for me because it'll be fun to finally force her to deal with some of her grief <3 i can see her making a ton of plans early in the month to try and distract herself and just ending up exhausted because she is so drained emotionally without even realizing it. local idiot like man i am so tired and so sad....why do i feel like this...buying her therapy and self-awareness for christmas she needs it !

TRACKER

CHRISTMAS ON ICE: thread 1: @beclaudine (2/4) thread 2: @bexjo (2/4) wish solo: pending

[bejoomi]

* ♪ – it's okay, i'm okay

the christmas concert is all excitement and adrenaline and a dash of organized chaos. once it is all over he feels free.

and maybe a little stupid. optimistic, if you want to be nice about it. it's an almost-manic energy that overcomes him and compels him to think wandering around lotte world on his own after the performances would be fun.

to his credit, he has done worse thanks to the lingering adrenaline from being on stage, but it still turns out to be a bad decision.

eventually the joy fades and he is alone. he has nearly a week off of training now for the holidays and he is alone. he wasn't really thinking about the fact that the last two times he was here, it was with jinyoung. he was thinking about how he used to work here, and it would be fun to enjoy the winter festivities as someone in a far better place, allegedly.

he knows that objectively, he is still in a better place than he was this time two years ago. he is thankful, even now. he just isn't feeling the best. everywhere he looks is a memory with jinyoung – something simple he was fascinated by the first time joomi took him here, or some kind of backdrop to their slightly dysfunctional love story.

then there are the families. children with face paint and overpriced amusement park food, hand-in-hand with their loving parents with camera rolls full of pictures of them giggling on the carousel joomi used to run or screeching on the swing tree. it stopped bothering him for a while, when he had pleasant memories and a tentative promise of someone to accompany him in this theme park built for dates and family outings.

now it is once again a reminder that in a few days, these families will exchange gifts and probably have a cute little tree in their homes that they will gleefully wake up to on christmas morning. joomi has nearly a week off of training and he does not really know what he's going to do other than be alone.

he has a few lingering friends who might also have nothing better to do. in the past, he might've done something with ren and dohyun, but dohyun is gone. last year he went to the christmas market with yejun, but he's gone. he would've loved to enjoy time away from training with jinyoung and have his first good christmas, but he's gone. this year comes with a unique emptiness joomi has never felt before – emptiness like holes, or missing pieces. emptiness where something once was.

it's not like regrets anything. he wouldn't take loving any of them back. he is now of the mind that it's better to love and lose than never love at all, but it is a mentality that opens you up for more pain.

it's okay. he is strong, and he has survived worse. he will survive this too. maybe he'll have better luck next christmas, and maybe on his 24th birthday he will have more to celebrate than grieve. it's okay that it's not this year. it's okay.

this year, he'll just sit on a bench in the middle of lotte world on a saturday night and dissociate.

he should really just go home.

– @bejiu

[bejoomi]

joomi laughs a little and nods in agreement. her new empire. yeah. he has a feeling biscuit will soon run their entire apartment, at least as much as she can while being such a tiny creature.

sua mentions the upstairs neighbors, and joomi smiles a little too. "they're just...weak," joomi argues. he can understand that sua's personality may not be for everyone. she isn't the friendliest, and is probably intimidating to plenty of people, but she's not mean. she's actually very kind – to joomi, at least, in her unconventional sua way.

joomi just observes the scene in front of him, as biscuit carefully approaches sua. he's also careful not to move and startle her. he has faith that she will decide to eat the treat in the end, as long as they don't mess the opportunity up somehow.

he smiles as sua hides, and empathizes with biscuit. honestly, joomi never considered that biscuit might be shy about eating in front of people. that would definitely contribute to some of her hesitancy – or maybe it's just silly. cats don't care about stuff like that, do they?

then biscuit moves, taking a few more careful steps toward sua. she lingers once more, as if considering her next move. then, she just as gingerly leans down and takes the treat from sua's hand. joomi grins triumphantly. it's sincere, too – genuine joy in a moment in his life that has otherwise been a bit dark. maybe adopting biscuit will turn out to be just what he needed after all.

after biscuit finishes munching her treat, she just sits down, eyeing their remaining treat piles, but not moving. "yeah, she's done," joomi replies to sua. "she's sitting down now."

this time, joomi picks up a treat and holds it out to her. she doesn't grab it, but that's pretty typical. he puts it down on the ground in front of her instead as a reward for cooperating for sua, and also for being cute. she stands once more, and has no problem eating this treat off the floor.

"good girl," he praises her, but it feels a little weird to call biscuit a good girl for some reason. maybe because it seems like she couldn't care less whether they think she's good or not. "i hope you'll be happy here, but it's no rush to get used to everything," he assures her, though he doubts she cares about that either.

sua can't take her eyes off of the cat, eyes observant of her every moment in anticipation. it's a little bit exciting, the fact there's a little creature roaming around their apartment now. she giggles at the use of empress, biting her lip to muffle it, observing the cat. an empress indeed-- sua can agree with that.

"she's exploring her new empire," she mutters quietly, shutting up the moment biscuit finally deems the treat worthy of her attention, creeping up slowly towards them. she resists the urge to snort at joomi's words, resting her non-extended arm infront of her face so she can hide behind it. "just don't go asking the upstairs neighbors, biscuit," sua murmurs softly, cracking a smile behind her arm. "they'll say otherwise--oh." sua shuts up with a peep when biscuit steps forward, tensing when joomi drops the treat in her hand.

just give her a second. sua's prepared to give her hours if it means biscuit eats the treat out of her hand. sua blinks, staring back at biscuit, who stares right back at her. the stray cat in her neighborhood never minded the direct eye contact, but she's read that sometimes it can come off as threatening. with a soft exhale through her nose, she gives biscuit a slow blink, before ducking her head back into her arm.

"okay, biscuit. i won't look." her voice comes out muffled. her nose twitches this close to the carpet, but she ignores it. "i don't like it when people watch me eat, either."

so she waits, her hand entirely still in its extended position. it's probably not her best idea, face smushed into the carpet where cat hair is surely to have contaminated-- but she keeps her position. the allergy medicine is doing most of the work, a minor itch in her nose that she steadfastily ignores for biscuit's sake.

she doesn't count how long she waits, sua only focusing on not disrupting biscuit's peace as she decides. she's seconds away from peeking her head up to see, only to freeze at the slightest tickle on her hand. whiskers, followed by the graze of teeth and drool and sua wants to be grossed out but she's resisting the urge to kick her feet out in happiness.

"oh my god," she whispers behind her arm, too nervous to startle biscuit but also too excited to keep still. in the moment, it feels like forever, but it can only be a couple of seconds before her hand feels empty. "is she done?" she directs the question to joomi, instead.