#this is basically my diary now
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we were suppose to hangout n he randomly switched up n doesnt wanna why is he mad wtf
#ღ angel's thoughts!#this is basically my diary now#i hate men#we were suppose to wrestle#dont ask😭😭#i feel like somethings bothering him he keeps saying hes fine but idk ig ill give him time#i want him so bad even if im crying#ITS FOREVER SINCE I SEEN HIM#i js miss him guys
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i read a take about the witcher online that i disagree with
#yes that's every day but#i am specifically counter-posting about this (aka complaining) only because it was phrased in a really stupid and disrespectful way#which is absolutely their right online. obviously. however if it is their right to be rude then it is also my right to also be rude#'take so bad i saved the reddit post to my account' can only be countered by 'post or resource so good i saved it to my account'#the elbow-high diaries#also i think reading a take i disagree with from someone who actually read the books and read nearly the entire series is what surprises me#like you got this far and still didn't understand the point#my favorite joke to make with myself now is going 'oof... do NOT read the hussite trilogy bro. because it will be ten times... 'worse'...'#it is much easier to dismiss the gamer-netflixer posting that's basically like 'geralt didn't use quen. is he stupid?'
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one thing i really appreciate about jinshi's character is how he has NEVER once actually had any intention of succeeding the throne. every time the idea is brought up he immediately detests it. so hes giving maomao as much as he possibly can, even though maomao has many qualms about it due to their difference in social status, but jinshi DOESNT CARE because hes NEVER cared about or wanted the status of crown prince! its been nothing but a burden to him! from his perspective the ONLY thing keeping the two of them apart are outside influences. he has no doubt within himself-- hes horribly down bad, in fact. but unfortunately his stupid JOB is getting in the way of him skipping off into the sunset with his favourite little cat
#jinshi literally maiming himself infront of the emperor and empress: “can you please fire me so i can marry the girl of my dreams”#emperor: “no. now go to the west capital relatively unsupervised with the girl of your dreams andpromise REAL HARD u wont something stupid”#also not to mention i think maomaos problem isnt that she doesnt want to marry jinshi bc she doesnt care about him-- she cares abt him A LO#which is precisely why shes convinced herself she cant marry him. she wants whats best for him and#she wholeheartedly believes that marrying her is the EXACT OPPOSITE of whats best for him.#like she has. yknow. not the prettiest of backgrounds. growing up in a brothel might do that to you#shes mentioned before- shes basically a commoner. she has her biologicaldad but hes more of a wildcard selfmade man with no real connection#and she doesnt even like him.#but she just CANNOT comprehend that someone would sacrifice so much for her and ask for nothing in return but her company#i just love them a lot your honour.#the apothecary diaries#the apothecary diaries spoilers#for the anime/manga onlies#READ THE LIGHT NOVEL#kusuriya no hitorigoto#kusuriya no hitorigoto spoilers
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feeling a bit sad tonight
#i can't believe summer is basically over#i feel like i hardly spent time w friends n did anything really#like i know i did but still idk#and i'm sad because i feel so disconnected from everyone right now#like idk i feel like ive made so much progress this year mentally but i have no one to talk abt it with which is sad#and just in general the things going on in my life#they were onto smth when they said not to trust how u feel abt ur life after 9pm lol#i'm actually really looking forward to sept / autumn and im doing okay its just idk#diary#tiyas thoughts
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sitting in the library again. wearing this hideous orangey red turtleneck dress. i'm sad because i'm losing touch with my best friend.
#basically my diary now#girlblogging#coquette#hyper feminine#tumblr girlies#this is a girlblog#lana del rey#2014 tumblr#cinnamon girl#lizzy grant#girl interrupted
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary…
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Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
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don’t mind me, just going to queue up some amazing fics while i sulk a little about not participating in kinktober 🥲
#— yap central#tw vent#now im just gonna ramble a little in tags bc it’s basically my diary#i am fully aware that this is 110 a ‘me’ problem but that doesn’t stop me from going into a sad spiral ✌🏻😗#i am very excited to read all my friends kinktober fics and i will devour them all MARK MY WORDS#idk i just find myself a little upset by the fact that im not participating#firstly i am NOT confident in my smut writing abilities#secondly the few times I have done it it just really killed my motivation to write#found it boring and v repetitive#but there’s something about seeing so many people participate#so many talented writers all gathering#creating super creative ideas and concepts and GOSH PEOPLE ARE AO TALENTED#AAAAND the state is the fandom right now is very smut centred#which is absolutely no problem i mean i read and reblog smut all the time#it’s just a little rough yk#comparison really is the devil#idk been a rough day at work and im just tired I suppose#ANYWAY I WILL DEVOUR ALL THE KINKTOBER FICS#YOURE ALL CRAZY GOOD AND I ADMIRE YOU ALL
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*squints at the fact that there’s no announced casting for Overse*
If they’ve adapted out the (quite minor!!) lesbian relationship I’m gonna riot.
#its not even a big thing couldn’t they have left it???#LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING!!#the murderbot diaries#maybe people already have an answer on this#I haven’t been paying very close attention to the production but oh my god#on the one hand I would love if the preservation aux team was basically all nonwhite#because that is the vibe in the book#but then skarsgard as murderbot (already bad casting I will note!!)#gets even weirder grosser vibes????? like#ugh#I will watch but right now it’s like#when a kid you know is in a school play#and you know it’ll be bad but it’s ok#as long as everyone has fun 🥰🥰#(and Martha gets paid)
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My brother joined my game of bg3 and he tried to talked to Astarion and he just said. I'm not here for chit-chat and I'm like ah he's jealous. He doesn't like my brother. Then my brother kept trying to talk to him and he's like no.
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fourth year running of my kaneda shotaro costume I havent even added a single patch to the jacket since I first made it even tho every year I say I'm going to. #lazynation
#why fix what's not broke... shrugs#AND i have red climbing trousers so i can wear most of it on the walls tn.... just not the gloves i suppose but ill take them anyway#for group photos. i do have red/black shoes i got for sport climbing too but i havent broken them in so prolly wont wear them#excited for ittt. and i still have uses on a punchcard for this gym even tho i havent been for months so its basically free entry#which is great bc ive spent soooo much money the last week and now w new glasses too... 💀 my pocket has a hole burned thru it fr#not mad into halloween but i do like wearing this costume bc i get to talk abt akira to everyone who asks whether they recognise it or not#the hyperfixation trapdoor opening up...... rubs hands together devilishly etc#since im cycling there too i should ask someone to take a pic of me pretending to do the bike slide sjkdfh#ive barely climbed in the last 2 weeks what w my period etc so prolly gonna find it rly tough but ill take it easy#anyway not leaving for another 2 hours..... i should actually start mouthwashing >:)#.diaries
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andrzej sapkowski in the witcher presents his reader with many curious and refreshing takes on the fantasy genre, such as "what if dragons were good" and "what if elves were incels"
#i joke it's more like what if the ethereal being had angsty mournful man feelings#that he has feelings but can't work through them because#overemotionality is considered base and human so he's basically been bottling all of this for centuries#the elbow-high diaries#plus that his only purpose was really to be with lara and now she's gone and so what does that make him#i'm not getting all MRA lmaoooo what i'm saying is that there needs to be two to make a baby so he was one-half of that#and destiny didn't work out as planned so ... this is all that's left#reading ch 5 of lotl for the first time: THIS IS SO MESSED UP WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO CIRI!!!#reading ch 5 of lotl again and again: my god EVERYONE here is so messed up and SAD. well except eredin#eredin is like cool im gonna go fight a unicorn#'what are you talking about he wanted to kill auberon?' but not in a very intelligent way he was like to ciri 'so you wanna... kill him?'#imo book eredin is kind of a meathead and it's kind of refreshing with all these 4D chess players around
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I hate that there are entire slices of the internet that are no longer accessible because Flash is dead
#my diary#I have like a memory of these animated music videos that were submitted as part of Gorillaz's Search for a Star contest back in 2004#and I've NEVER seen the two specific videos I'm thinking of anywhere else#and I don't remember who made them#so I tried to see if I could find them again via the wayback machine and sure enough the website doesn't work because of flash#ruffle isn't working (I assume it doesn't work w/ archived web pages)#so basically I'm just fucked because the world is fucked#we talk a big game about how burning the library of alexandria was one of the worst things ever#the library of alexandria is on fire in front of you right now you don't fucking care#internet archive lost 500k items today because of copyright#probably the vast majority of my adolescent internet experience is wiped off the face of the earth#it's so fucking devastating I hate it to death
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10:59
My Garrett Schmidt playlist is now at. 12 hours and 11 minutes. Guys I'm deep into this hell hoke
Anyways here is the playlist :333 ↓
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf movie#garrett schmidt#audrey/kellie's art#the icon for the playlist is my art :3#my garrett schmidt playlist#trust me i know some songs dont even fit. but c'mon#Garrett is dead. and he haunts the narrative with no real personality only “quiet and concerned little brother who is helpless”#and that's it. so. let me have fun#hes basically my oc now. so#Spotify
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More me yapping about my gf under the cut lol
She'll be here in 4 days and I'm still absolutely baffled at how good she is to me. I stare at her all I want and she doesn't think it's weird. She's started staring back recently and I get nervous and laugh and look away because I'm not used to being Perceived the way I perceive others but she really does see me
We'll be watching a video where someone is making chicken and she'll talk about what she'd do differently and she always adds "I would take the bones out for you". There was a video of a guy doing a food tour in vienna and he had those disposable wood utensils and I noted that I hate the texture of those things and, without missing a beat, she said "We can get one of those camping utensil kits. The metal kind. All the vendors here use wooden ones". Like no hesitation, no thought to it, just. Boom. Solution for my needs. She said she's excited to see my flappy hands irl. I explained I try to suppress them as much as I can in public since it's kind of frowned upon to be 25 and happy flapping at something, and she doesn't see them at my desk because I would just end up hitting the table. She pretty much only sees them in VR, where I have room and the comfort to stim. But she'll be here!! In my house!! Where I have the room and the comfort to stim as I need, and she makes me so happy she's bound to see them at some point
She never minds how sleepy I get during our calls because I'm working a lot, and I have an awful sleep schedule on days I don't work. We typically stay on call for them so she just blows me a little kiss and streams whatever video she's watching. I always just look at her though. Then when I wake up she smiles and softly says "Good morning, baby" and my entire heart melts.
It's incredible to see how confident she makes me. Even on days where I've made no effort, my hair's a mess, I'm wearing the most raggedy at-home clothes I have, and I'm just a face in a cocoon of a blanket she'll still call me gorgeous. She's seen me at every possible angle and insists I have no bad ones. The few times I've been honest about specific parts of my body I didn't like, she'll pay special attention to them until I can't help but think she finds them beautiful
It's also been incredible watching her gain confidence, too. Before we started dating, she'd only ever join calls with a camera once in a blue moon and, even then, only wearing a face mask and a hoodie. Now, even with new people in the group calls, she'll just wear a normal t-shirt and shows her entire face. She doesn't default to nervous tics when she discusses her body anymore and she'll even flex for me if she catches me staring while she stretches (which is. A lot. I like her arms.) and I can't wait to see her get to explore her femininity when she's here. She only has one "femme" shirt, and she doesn't wear it often. I'm sending her back with a bunch of skirts, dresses, and blouses. Even if she just wears them at home, they're all comfy and she'll have that option
We've both been talking about how we think our first meeting is going to go. I'm bringing her a bouquet so we can press them and she can take the dried flowers home with her after her 2 weeks here. I try not to think about when she has to leave because I know it's going to absolutely wreck me, but she's leaving me a ring (and a necklace with some charms, but the ring is the big one). I already call her my wife in online spaces but she'll really be my fiancee. It's wild.
I keep getting misty-eyed thinking of 2 whole weeks with her snoring in my arms every night.
#We've been saying “soon” since the countdown to her being here was at 150 days#Before it was literally just me coping with how far away it seemed#but it really is soon#She'll be here#She's pretty much all i talk about to anyone who will listen and I'm sure I'm pissing people off by now but if they don't stop me oh well#Basically just using my blog as a diary at this point lmao#seu yaps
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thinking about zarakiki lesbians again.... thinking about zane learning what healthy family dynamics are. No hitting and yelling, no politics, no one crying into the long hours of the night, no death- just two moms and their daughter in a barn.
And maybe, for the first time in Zane's life, family can be all that matters.
#OUOHHEWGGH#i rembr little me being tortured by the reveal that zane was basically groomed by his dad#AND I STILL AM#you know why mys zane is so different??? cuz thats zane who ISNT groomed by a TYRANT#maybe mcd!zane wouldve like sweets and toys and being overly protective :(((#at least he can heal now in my silly little blorbo rewrite au#aphmau#aphblr#aphverse#minecraft diaries#zane ro'meave#zarakiki lesbians propaganda#zarakiki#zanekiki#aphmau kiki#mcd kiki#aphmau leona#mcd leona#garte ro'meave#zianna ro'meave#vylad ro'meave#garroth ro'meave
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