#this is ass im so sorry
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drowningyoursorrow · 1 year ago
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MONEY POWER GLORY
james patrick march x gn! reader (requested)
summary. - a man made you forget all of your glory's but that's all you'll ever be good for. w/c. - 3.5k
| heads up ! swearing, smoking, drinking
EXHAUSTION consumed you as you finally escaped the crowded room, everything was loud and obnoxious. If you knew you had to smile this much, you might've not even came after all. Pretending for many people was too exhausting, especially when you could tell their true attentions.
It was obvious, everything about everyone was. By the way they looked at you and studied what you spoke about, they either hated you or loved you. If they hated you, all they would try to do is put you down in some way or another, it was amusing. And when they adored you, they kissed your ass so much, honestly you wondered if they even noticed how much they did it. You preferred it when they disliked you because they never really asked for any favors on their behalf.
But when they did like you, all you would be asked is if you could do this, if you could do that, if you could say this or say that. Sure, you loved what you did, and you acknowledged the consequences of upcoming fame and fortune. But what you didn't expect was the sudden loneliness that came with it, how everyone suddenly only wanted you if they needed you. It was harsh not knowing who to trust and when you'd eat out alone.
This was expected. Just like tonight, you attended an event because it would've been rude not to. It was this old hotel that brought everyone back to it, apparently it was an anniversary for the opening. You can't really recall the details, but what you did know was that the interior was decked out so eloquently.
The architecture and decorations is what made you want to check it out because it would be strange for just a celebrity to look at a hotel. With no purpose in staying, just studying the place. It would be quite odd, and your PR team would rip your head off if you appeared crazy.
When you went, everybody dressed accordingly to match the hotel, as if they were in the 1930s. You loved themed events because it made everything less boring and more interesting than it really was. Your outfit was meant to fit the era that the place was built, so, you obviously went over the top. And it seemed to make more flock to you and everyone wanted to know where you got what, it was too much.
That's how you got to where you are currently, socializing was just too much at the moment. And so you found your way around the halls and stared aimlessly outside a window, chain-smoking. The view wasn't the prettiest and the eeriness that surrounded you was a bit suffocating. But finally having some time to yourself was worth it.
Drawing out a heavy sigh, you wondered how your life would end up if you continued like this. In the beginning, you wanted to become famous, you wanted to be a star. You were so oblivious back then, it was so painful. But finally having everything you ever wanted, which made you push away the insecurity and doubt. This was still your dream.
You contemplated your thoughts a bit more, adjusting your outfit before you headed back downstairs. Preparing yourself to be thrown into the pit of greed and attention. Making your way back down to the crowd, you headed near the bar this time, wanting to order something. But the risk of someone drugging it was too high at the moment. So, you opted to just observing everyone instead.
There was an elegantly adorned lady, she didn't look like she fit in with this group. No, she was far better than whatever you and these people were, something you wanted to be. Her beauty didn't deter you, finally you acknowledged who she was with. A more refined looking man, who had his hand on his chin as he listened to what the woman was saying.
They were awfully close, you wondered if they were lovers. The two of them undoubtedly were the best looking in the room, almost as if they were made for this theme. He looked more professional and had a cane alongside him, leaning on it slightly. He really went all out. Impressive.
As you watched the two of them interact, his gaze shifted upward and onto you. It made you shiver, his look was dark, and his eyes were almost soulless as the two of you made eye contact. Now realizing how creepy you were being, you quickly turned away. Mainly embarrassed.
To wash away the shame, you quickly ordered a drink, whiskey, strong enough to let you let loose for a while. You were tense the whole time you were here, might as well relax for a bit, right? Quickly shooting down the drink to forget about your obvious staring from before. You swore to yourself you hate people that do that, and yet you do it yourself. How hypocritical of you.
"That looks almost too strong for someone like you, might I say." A strong accent spoke from behind you, quickly turning around, and you realized who it was. Awkwardly coughing up what you were still swallowing, before finally settling down. Your face burned, and you didn't want to look back up at him, great start so far.
"Seems so, uh- sorry for staring earlier. I just thought-" "Staring isn't the matter at hand right now, dear, why aren't you squabbling with the rest?" You paused, squinting your eyes as you finally looked back up at him. Unsure of his strange choice of words. "Squabbling...?" "Do you always focus on peripheral things? Or are you just curious?"
He spoke in an amused tone as his eyes scanned every part of you, a cheery grin was placed on his features. Awaiting your answer with expectant eyes. "No, just. Never mind, but I'd prefer to be myself, I guess?" "That so? Seems fitting I suppose, I'm March. James Patrick March." He held out his hand waiting for you to shake it, and you did, his grip was firm and his hands felt carefully calloused.
"I'm _, have I seen or heard of you before? Apologies, but your name sounds very familiar." This caused his grip to fall as his jaw tensed before a smile broke from him once more. "I guess I just have one of those names and faces, but no. I am no celebrity, I'm the host of this event." he held up his hands as he showcased what was going on behind him, a prideful look on his face. "I own the place."
You paused, remembering where you had heard of him from, that notorious serial killer way back when. That's why he looked familiar, he must've been a descendant, the genes were strong. "Oh right! That's where I know you from, wow, you look so much like him." James gave you a confused look, unsure of what you meant but decided to brush it away. "Mm, you wouldn't mind if I drank with you, would you?"
You were unsure of him, he was pale as the sun and had a suspicious glint behind his eyes. Sure, he might've been the most handsome man that you've ever had the chance to lay eyes on. And maybe his accent was peculiar, but it did make you swoon even more for his charm. "I don't see why not." You teased him with the same accent he had, and he only furrowed his brows but widening his smile, seating himself beside you.
And so the two of you did, you drank and talked about nothing and everything all at once. You didn't know you could enjoy having small conversations with someone you never met before, he had a strange vocabulary as well. Which made it more intriguing as the two of you discussed and debated on whatever you could.
James was a gentleman, he spoke carefully of topics and only discussed things revolving around you. He was curious, the more you told him of yourself. Apparently he didn't really know who you were, and instead of taking it as a blow you took it as an opportunity. He was far from boring and had this certainty about him that made you lean into him whenever you spoke.
The liquor seemed to not have much of any effects on him, far less than it did on you. You never took your drinking well and it really showed, your words were more slurred and you hoped that you didn't look messy. Although it looked as if he wouldn't mind.
He was flirtatious, commenting on your outfit, your hair, your personality, how you spoke, and all of that. Usually you hated it when people tried to 'butter' you up but James showed no ill intentions. Just interest. Drunkenly you spoke about your troubles with fame and how you feel as if people only talk to you if you'll help them. It was stressful but James listened, he had a certain look of dismay as he listened.
"Well. So far, I like how you are, right now. If I were to use you for meaningless matters, it'd only be for your company."
You smiled at that and he stared at you with content, laughing it off with each other. The guests eventually piled out and left, you hadn't realized how late it was but you didn't plan on stopping talking to James.
Eventually you both had to part ways but you swore that you'd find him once more when you can. And with that the two of you parted ways, even just meeting the man you felt as if you didn't and couldn't leave. The last look you had of James was his waving you off as you exited the building.
Oh how he wanted to take you that night, but something inside of him stopped himself. He was unsure of what it was, it confused him greatly because he's never had trouble like this before. Maybe it was because of your ugly crying to him, to a stranger you've just met. It made him pity you in a way, as if he was made to be the one to look after you. James is never truly genuine.
Weeks have passed before you could make time to visit 'James Patrick March' again and you were ecstatic. It was peculiar to be happy over such a thing, over someone you haven't even known for a whole day. Loneliness really did get the best of you. You attempted to look as casual as you could, not wanting to overdress like you did before.
When you arrived back to the hotel, you were uncertain on how you would ask for him. Recalling him mentioning that he was the owner, maybe he was just being flamboyant. No. He's not the type, or doesn't look like the type to just put that out there. But before you could embarrass yourself any further, there he was in all his glory. Leaning on the railing on thee second floor of the main entryway near the elevators, looking downward at you.
"I was starting to believe that you would never come back, what a pleasure to have you here."
Making his way down the stairs, still holding the cane from before but with a different suit. Was he always this luxurious?
"Apologies for the delayed meeting, I've been busy but I finally managed to free my time."
He only gave you a hum as he stood before you, studying your get-up, his brows furrowed shifting his gaze at you. "Nevertheless, it's my honor to have this meeting. I see you dressed for a more casual setting, no?" Embarrassed as you realized what you put on, suddenly wishing you had a different outfit. Awkwardly laughing, "ah yes I may have but I'll remember next time!" "Next time? Eager aren't we."
Feeling your face burn as you avoided looking at his questionable stare. "I'm only teasing you dear, I look forward to future encounters. Here come sit." He led you back to the bar, situating the two of you into a corner.
You both were back at it again, catching up on what happened or mainly you were. James just mentioned he didn't really have anything interesting to share, he was all ears for what you had to say. Amused at your scheduled appointments or whatever weird stories you had to share. He was a very attentive listener and loved hearing what you had to tell him.
James never believed he'd waste his time just listening to someone talk his ear off. But you were, expressive in a way, a way that had him wanting to know more and more. What you did, why you did it, if you enjoyed it, and the things you want to do.
That's how it was whenever the two of you spoke, he'd mention small details about himself and switch it back to you. Slowly you did learn more about James, he wasn't like anyone you've ever met. He was something better.
You two eventually grew close and before you knew it the media believed that you were having an affair there. The 'Hotel Cortez' grew popular and attracted flocks of people, you mentioned this to James. Apologizing, it seemed a little pretentious to say it was your fault but he agreed. Only mentioning that it was good for business. The more the merrier.
You were well off to afford your own jewels, gifts, whatever you needed. But whenever James gave you luxuries you felt as if they were invaluable, adorning you with gems. It was his way of marking you, since he couldn't leave the place. Whenever he requested to see you on the digital screen, there his gifts laid. Covering you, making others wonder where you got so many all at once.
You loved how he spoke, how he dressed, how he walked, how charming he was, how certain he was about things. You loved how his cold skin felt intertwined with your hands and how it felt when you kissed him. You loved how you felt safe and comfortable with him and his proud accomplishment which was the hotel.
It made him feel light.
You helped him forget all of his little dark thoughts and messed up past, his terrible experience with his ex wife. As if his dead heart started beating again, you could never know about that. His cold skin felt warm in your grasp, he felt warm with you.
James soon turned too busy to interact with you one on one. Once dead hotel became a blossoming industry, and he needed to do his duty as the owner. As long as you were there, so was everyone else, fans. Your solitary was just like everywhere else now, being crowded with fans and cameras. Even when you were in a room it felt as if everyone was everywhere.
You mentioned this to James but he only brushed it off saying they'll eventually get bored. The exhaustion came back and you couldn't do it anymore, he stopped listening, stopped caring.
"Why don't we spend any time together anymore James? Hm? I always make time for you can't you at least make time for me. Just once?"
"You know I can't darling. The hotel has never been this popular and if I fall behind just even for a second. I could be done for and we both don't want that." His tone was smooth but his patience was wearing thin from your constant interruptions. It caused you to fall silent, not wanting to stress him any further.
Sighing, he spoke more calmly, holding your hands as he spoke, "I apologize, but I need you to attend a gathering with me tomorrow night."
"Why do I have to go again? We've been doing this a lot and maybe I just want some time alone with just us."
"The people love you dear that's why, we wouldn't want to disappoint right?"
His words made you fall silent, you wasted most of your time in the hotel. You pushed away so many opportunities just to spend more time with James, to be free. Realization hit you hard, was it all worth it now? Just being shown off to others, people that don't care about anything but your status. Has James turned into somebody like that?
Pulling your hands out of his, you felt your breath get shaky as you dreaded to ask the question. The question you shouldn't even accuse of him of doing, but you couldn't be too sure. He sensed your hesitation and offered his caring embrace. Only pulling away once more from him, replying in a shaky tone.
"James... Are you- are you using my audience to attract more guests to this hotel?" You avoided looking at him but you just felt him tense, be couldn't lie to you. He never could, you've been lied to for all of your life and he didn't want to put you through that once more.
So he felt as if he had no reason to deny it, he did love you. He loved how you laughed, how you smiled, how you said his name, how you were different from everybody else. But ever since your continuous arrival, more and more have been showing up just to check a glimpse of you. Your contact attention to this place brought other celebrities, which just kept drawing in more crowds.
And he finally realized how you were helping him, but of course you wouldn't see it that way. How he saw it. That's why he was holding it from you, he knew that it would only be for too long. Before you found out.
So, when James shamefully looked downward from you. That told you all you needed to know and you felt your eyes well up and your heart break. He shouldn't see you like this anymore.
"_ I was going to tell you but it's meaningless it-"
"Meaningless? I confided to you about this! About only being used for favors, I helped you and you don't even want to spend time with me anymore. You're an add hole James, you said you were different...- you said you only wanted me for my company! Not my glory."
You shoved pass him, not caring who saw your messy eyes and messy hair. The worst part of all was he didn't come after you, as you turned the corner to the elevator all he could do was stare at the ground.
Fucking asshole.
You should've never fallen for how he spoke, how he dressed, how he walked, how charming he was, how certain he was about things. You hated how you felt safe and comfortable with him and what you really hated. Was this god forsaken hotel.
Everything felt numb, you couldn't see anyone or anything, making your way down to the lounge was a blur. You felt your feet run out of the hotel and you could feel yourself collide with an upcoming truck.
Only faint lights and screaming was heard, your ears were ringing terribly and you felt limp. You saw Liz dragging you back into the front of the hotel, determination and worry on her face. She's always been respectful toward you and you loved her company. Not knowing why you're thinking about this now, you only gave her a grateful smile. In which she returned. You were unsure if this was how you wanted to go out but you were ready for it.
Then everything went black.
There you stood, in front of the entryway as you watched everyone pronounce you dead on the spot. How you were dragged away, what was happening?
Why did you suddenly feel so cold?
Somehow, everything clicked. You weren't stupid you were dead but not really dead, alive in a way but not really there. You were pale, awfully pale, and your coldness made you feel almost empty as you traced your skin. It felt just like... James. Why was he so old timely and why was he freezing all of the time, why did he appear whenever you called so quickly?
He was always gone faster than you could've realized and was often in the random areas fast enough. Why did you have to only realize this now? You thought of yourself smarter than that, you couldn't believe it.
Immediately when you felt his hands intertwine with yours, you realized that he was indeed James Patrick March. The serial killer. He expected you to come back to him, to hold him and finally understand him. But instead, you shoved him off of you.
You didn't need to say anything, your eyes said it all. The pain and betrayal evident on your features. You only ran off, you were never going to forgive James for all the things he's done. You felt sick that you loved someone so terrible so heartless, how could he?
You were stuck with the man you hated and James was going to do everything he can to get you back.
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- Didn't really go into the fucked up part of him, sorry if you wanted that - This was very rushed - Not proofread whatsoever
Hope you enjoyed and if you have any requests or questions please dm!
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intercrusher · 3 months ago
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this is their foreplay
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daftmooncretin · 10 months ago
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spock’s room decor is actually fucking bonkers. The weapons??? the big red velvet curtain??? like ok phantom of the opera go crazy.
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for reference jim’s room has some photos and a plant so we can surmise this is uniquely a spock being a dramatic weirdo thing
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may12324 · 9 months ago
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Halsin- Archdruid of the Emerald Grove
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Fiddauthor divorce arc speedrun <3
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After 30 years of searching for his lost brother through demonic rituals and summonings, Ford has become a bit of a notorious demon collector over the years. He's made a LOT of deals with MANY different demons over the years; from minor and harmless little entities to big and powerful overlords. Most of the time, these deals aren't really a one-way situation, so a lot of demons have a strong grip on him just as much as he does on them. It often ends up being a mutual sort of destruction, as in: "I know I'm but a mere mortal trifling with things I couldn't begin to fathom, and I know you will destroy me eventually; but I don't care as long as I get to destroy you too." He just needs to live long enough to find his brother.
The red hands are essentially pieces of himself (his soul, you could say??) that he wields as his method of restraint to the demons he has "tamed" so far. They act as a leash to contain each demons' powers, and he can loosen or tighten his hold on them as much as he wants. The number of hands required to contain a demon really depends on their individual strengths, but 3-4 hands are already very energy consuming.
YES, I gave all of his demons stupid names. SUE ME.
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gayrika · 2 years ago
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eye doctors: please for fucks sake try to protect your eyes from blue light pls take breaks from screens pls wear these blue light filter glasses pls pls pls im fucking begging you
car manufacturers:
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i swear to god if another one of you motherfuckers go on abt how "blue light isnt actually that bad 🤓" i am going to block your stupid ass this post has over 30k notes theres no way you think ur first goddamn person to say it shut uuuup i do not give a shit
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niadrawsstuff · 3 months ago
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“I’m a clone! :D”
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arinmoss · 8 months ago
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Sam!
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hai-nae · 3 months ago
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uno reverse
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rapidhighway · 5 months ago
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new anatomy
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cozylittleartblog · 2 years ago
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i now understand how certain people felt when harpy eda was revealed 😳
prints here
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rendevok · 1 year ago
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“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023
day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4
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aster-draws · 3 months ago
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Identity shenanigans are a hallmark of all superhero fanfictions and i will never get tired of writing them.
This is from chapter 19 of my fic Better Halves (and other such falsehoods) which is like 100k (so far) of Tim and Danny being idiots like this please go read it it's a labor of love.
just the painted bit below the cut :) if you want it
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cultivateme · 2 months ago
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splankie · 7 months ago
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is blowing up a volcano after ur first kiss couple goals
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wtfforged · 3 months ago
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artblock free me from your foul clutches
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