#this is all from the new behind clip (translations by yours truly)

[visualtaehyun]

じぬぬのデートするる in Summer, or: Bickering in Okinawa 🌺

[radawaycunt]

Vidas Pasadas (Past Lives)

PART ONE: THE SHOW MUST GO ON

Mini-Series Masterlist

Also on AO3

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Latina!Reader (Spanish speaking)

WC: 2.5k words

Series Summary: Before the great war, you were an actress—A good friend and frequent co-star of Cooper Howard. After two hundred years in cryogenic stasis, you’re being sent to New Vegas as a performer, but on the way there, things don’t go quite as planned.

Warnings: MINORS DNI, series is 18+, canon typical violence, some angst, friends to lovers-ish?, some miscommunications, eventual smut, chem use, there’ll be some Spanish in there for sure (with translations), cursing, the ghoul being the ghoul, aaaaand that’s all I can think of for now but lmk if anything else!

A/N: This is INCREDIBLY self indulgent, but imagine yourself in these shoes for a moment why don’t you? :) hope you enjoy! pt.1 dedicada ao meu amor @the-devils-littlegirl <33

——————-

The holotape was a little over two hundred years old, but it was in relatively good condition. It contained a talk show interview with two actors who were promoting a Western film. The image was in black and white, fuzzy with time, and the voices sounded tinny. 

“So tell me, both of you, what’s it been like working on so many pictures together?” The interviewer, Holden Boyd, asked. “This must be — what, the fourth one?”

“That’s right. You know, Holden, in all my years in this industry, I have never met anyone more professional,” Cooper Howard, the handsome hero of the film, turned to you, sitting beside him. “But she also knows how to keep things balanced between work and play. We laugh a lot behind the scenes, actually.”

“Really?” Holden asked, leaning forward with renewed interest. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me, you two have some incredible chemistry on screen.”

“Well, gee, Coop, do we really?” You couldn’t help but grin at him, making him chuckle. “Maybe that’s why we keep getting cast together.”

“And how’s his Spanish? Are you teaching him any?” Holden asked you. 

“I’ve certainly tried,” you said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Say something, why don’t you?”

Cooper’s smile turned sheepish, shaking his head. “Errr… No muy bueno, pero intento.”

His thick southern accent made you and Holden laugh, invariably charmed. In the background, claps and cheers from the live audience, equally smitten. Cooper always knew how to win people over, it was like second nature to him.

“He’s a natural!” Holden exclaimed. “Say the line Coop, you know the one.”

Cooper cleared his throat, squared his shoulders and pretended to point a gun, his expression fully serious.“Feo, Fuerte, y Formal.”

An eruption of cheers, louder than before. You clapped in delight, smiling ear to ear as you bumped your shoulder against his playfully.

“Ah, I see you’ve found our tapes,” the mechanical voice of vault thirty-one’s overseer startled you. 

You looked down at… it, still not used to interacting with a motorized brain suspended in some sort of tank. Bud, you thought it said its name was. Vaguely familiar, but your memories were still hazy, having been in cryogenic stasis for so long. 

“Why do you have these?” You asked.

“Everything pertaining to Hollywood was preserved for archival purposes. Feel free to watch anything you like,” Bud said. “We have all of your films, as well as interviews, press clippings, and pictures.”

You looked back at the screen, crossing your arms over your chest and trying not to shudder. You had me, too. You thought, stomach turning. A shiny toy shelved away for later use.

You’d gotten a spot in vault thirty one in exchange for compliance — after all, the future would need entertainers, right? And the nostalgia factor would just sell so well. You would be totally set for whatever came… or so they’d said.

It hadn’t seemed like a terrible deal at the time, but you hadn’t truly realized how tremendous the losses would be. Or how much things could veer off course in two centuries. 

Cooper was gone, and so was everyone else you had ever cared for. Bud hadn’t said what happened to your former co-star, but it didn't need to. 

 You had entered the vault all by yourself, with no family or spouse to consider. And just a few days ago, you had been greeted by that same loneliness when you’d emerged from the pod. 

Some things never changed, it seemed. Perhaps New Vegas wouldn’t be a terrible distraction, all things considered.

“Feels like it was only yesterday…” you said, keeping the melancholy out of  your voice.

“Doesn’t it? That’s the best part of the stasis pods. Keeps one fresh,” Bud said, chipper. “How’s your head feeling, by the way?”

“Better,” you sighed. “Barely any pain left.”

“Oh, good. You should be ready to travel to New Vegas in a couple more days. I’ve been in touch with a trusted courier that should be able to escort you there safely.”

A tinge of fear in your chest. “How… bad is it out there?”

“Well, er, it’s… not great. But we’ll get there! I’ve heard New Vegas has a lot more going for it than these parts,” Bud said quickly, not wanting to linger on the negative. “Vault twenty one, where you’ll be staying, was turned into a hotel. Lots of people passing by. I’m sure it’ll be easy for you to attract the crowds.” 

Stepping towards the projector, you ejected the holotape, unable to watch any more. The memories would consume you far too easily, if you let them. That life had crumbled to dust long ago, and there was nothing you could do to change that, either.

What other choice did you have but to trudge forward?

“For both our sakes, Bud, I really hope that’s true.”

————————————-

As with most things, Bud had severely understated just how bad things were on the surface. The sight of it had instantly struck you— Nothing was left but ruins and desert plains stretching as far as the eye could see. No one but you and the courier — a weathered, gruff looking middle-aged man — around for miles.

You’d left your vault suit behind in exchange for the clothes you’d worn when you first went in. You were also given a small survival pack, a tranquilizer gun, and a pip boy, but that was the extent of your belongings.

 The courier handed you a hat and an old scarf to cover yourself from the sun and the sand, instructing you to keep close before whirling around and starting to walk.

Did he even say what his name was? You couldn’t recall, but you were too busy being in shock to care too much.

It was all so unceremonious, unlike what you’d been used to in the past. No cars or any other mode of transportation, no roads to smoothly cruise on. No kind words offered for your departure, except for Bud’s overly enthusiastic Good luck! before opening the vault’s enormous door. 

“Say, how long do you think the… trip is going to take?” You asked, trying to keep your fear at bay. 

“Around three weeks, give or take. That is, if the weather holds and we keep a good pace during the day,” the courier said. “Can’t be out at night around these parts.”

You swallowed hard, wondering what sorts of dangers lurked out there. You had some stunt training, but no actual fighting skills. Hopefully, the tranq gun would be enough, but you also suspected your companion had far deadlier weapons.

Better to stay on his good side, you thought.

“First stop’s at a town called Filly. Got some quick business to take care of there, so we’ll be spending the night,” the courier continued when you didn’t respond. “Keep your head down and let me do the talking. Don’t want anybody to recognize you.”

You nodded, letting out a long sigh. 

“Hopefully they’ve got showers there,” you said, imagining how calming the hot stream of water might be. 

The courier looked at you over his shoulder, incredulous, and barked out a laugh. Your face heated up at his ridicule, mumbling something about vault dwellers to himself with a shake of his head. 

You walked in silence for the next couple of hours, trying to guess what area you might be passing through. Briefly, you wondered if the ruins of your old house still stood somewhere, and if you’d be able to find them. 

But you reminded yourself not to dwell on what no longer existed. 

Soon enough, you started to see signs of humanity. A few stragglers here and there, but the courier steered you in different directions whenever he spotted larger groups. Raiders, he’d told you, a grim look on his face.

 You hurried your step, wanting to put as much distance between you and them as possible. Bud had given you a very basic rundown of what you might encounter on the surface, but while some of it was hard to believe without seeing it firsthand, raiders did not fall under that category.

Still, despite the danger, at least you were reassured that you weren’t the only people left around. 

Filly was a ramshackle town made up of scraps;  A small testament of humanity’s endurance. Vendors were hawking questionable food and other wares at the outskirts of it, the tight pack of more bodies making you nervous. 

Your senses were invaded by smells and noises and even the occasional passerby bumping into you. Life was still brimming, as chaotic as it may seem. Somehow, it made you feel the smallest flicker of hope.

The courier led you through the crowd and down a rickety stairway towards a small square, where there was a little more room to move. The sun was beginning to set, bright tendrils of orange and gold tinting the sky. 

For a brief moment, you stopped to look at it, moved almost to tears by the simple beauty of a sunset. At least, that hadn’t changed either, and you vowed to never take them for granted again. 

“This way,” the courier said, urging you to move. 

Unbeknownst to you, someone had taken notice of the two of you. More specifically, the courier. A hit had been placed on him, worth three hundred caps. There was no reason given for it, but he hadn’t thought to ask questions, anyway. He didn’t much like meddling unnecessarily.

He surreptitiously followed behind, keeping his distance so you wouldn’t notice him. He already stuck out like a sore thumb, what with being a ghoul and all. But, like any bounty hunter worth his salt, he still knew how to lay low.

The courier led you into a repurposed building that rented out closet sized rooms. You paid with a few of the caps Bud had put in your survival pack, relieved that you wouldn’t have to share a room. 

The courier was curt but prudent, in his own way. You were just a task to him, and you knew he would protect you as best as he could because of it. You had nothing against him so far, but you didn’t want to take your chances regardless. 

“Stay in your room, I’m gonna head out for a bit. I’ll bring back some food,” he said, turning to leave.

“Wait!” You hurried behind him, out into the open, where it was growing darker. “Wouldn’t it be better to, uh, stick together?”

“It’s private business,” he grunted, annoyed. “Besides, you’ll be safer in there.”

“But—”

“Hey, you,” you heard from behind you, followed by a commanding whistle. “Sabinez, is it?”

The courier looked up, his eyes immediately widening. “Oh, fuck.”

You followed his gaze, finding a… cowboy. His face was mostly obscured underneath the brim of his hat, but his lack of a nose was still strikingly apparent. Radiation burns marred what little skin you could see, the rest covered in old, tattered leathers. 

A ghoul, from what Bud had described. The see-it-to-believe-it kind of danger. Your stomach dropped.

He was pointing his revolver at the courier – Sabinez –  finger about to squeeze the trigger.

“No, please!” You exclaimed, panicked. 

Foolishly, without even thinking about it, you stepped in front of him, arms extended in an attempt to further shield him. The ghoul raised his hairless eyebrows, both amused and surprised.

“I need him,” you said, heart beating so fast you feared it might leap out of your chest. “Please.”

“How sweet,” the ghoul said mockingly, one hand on his chest. “But as it turns out, sweetheart, I need him, too.”

Before you could react, he raised the barrel of the revolver infinitesimally and fired. A dizzying moment in which the bullet whizzed by your head, and Sabinez’s body slumped behind you, his blood spraying at your back. 

Any onlookers that had stuck around scattered to safety, not wanting to be next in line for whatever the ghoul had planned. You let out a choked sound, too shocked to even scream. Shuddering, you slowly looked over your shoulder, only to avert your gaze quickly.

“No,” you murmured, horrified. “No, no, no…Fuck!”

It was just your luck, encountering death the very first day you finally returned to the surface. You wondered if you should fall to your knees and beg for mercy, but your body refused to move.

The ghoul’s spurs clinked as he stepped towards you, and you raised your hands in surrender, keeping your eyes down.

“You the cargo?” He asked, tilting his head to one side in curiosity. “Let’s get a better look at’cha.”

You whimpered as he grasped one of your arms, his other hand tugging down the scarf that covered half your face. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, eyes roaming over your features.

“Look at me,” he ordered, voice low.

Swallowing hard, you finally dared to look up at him. Tears clung to your lashes, a stray one running down your cheek. He looked more skeletal up close, his eyes sunken in, cheekbones prominent, and of course there was the cavern where his nose would be. 

He removed your hat next, letting go of you and taking a step back. There was something in his expression you couldn’t quite decipher, but you felt a creeping sense of deja vu the longer you looked at him. 

“You…” he said, something like recognition in his voice, as well as disbelief.

“I–Please, I don’t know w-what he did to you but I don’t–” You started to babble, but he interrupted. 

“Where were y’all heading off to?”

“U-um, New Vegas, uh, sir?” You tried to smile placatingly, but it was watery and would slip away at any moment. 

Not only was it strange for him to see you alive and in the flesh, but you were also fearing him. He remembered your earnest smiles, genuinely pleased to see him. Then again, you hadn’t yet recognized who he was. 

He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted you to know, but he also didn’t really want to let you go on your own way. Plus, he’d just killed your only guide, so it was only fair that he took on the job and saw it through.

That way, he could try to find out more about all that had happened, without giving himself away.

“New Vegas, huh,” he mused, letting out a low whistle. “That’s a long ways away, especially if you don’t know where you’re goin’...But it’s your lucky night, sweetheart, ‘cus I just so happen to know the way.”

“R-really? I could pay you if you’d h-help me!” you said quickly, rummaging through your pack to show him some caps. “I’m not sure how much would be enough but… I’ll be making more once I start working.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist now, we can do some negotiating later,” he drawled, lips curling in a smirk as he looked up at the building behind you. “Hope you don’t mind us bunking together.”

Your entire face heated up. “Uh, you can take his room. It’s already paid for.”

“Well, what a generous fella he was,” he said, tossing your stuff back at you. “Jus’ don’t come runnin’ when you get nightmares. I ain’t much of a cuddler.”

----

[weenwrites]

Hello! Can you please write some platonic/familial headcannons for tfp soundwave and a human reader who lives on the Nemesis with them?

The reader is an artist who is very quiet and tends to only show their emotions around soundwave, most of the time you can find them sitting on soundwaves shoulder and drawing but if not then they are usually listening in on whatever gossip is going round the ship.

Thank you! don't forget to drink some water and have a yummy snack!

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Sitting in silence together as you both work is Soundwave's ideal way to slowly bond with someone. However it's only ideal given his oath of silence and the type of work he does around the Nemesis. If you keep an eye out or pay close attention to whoever passes behind you and Soundwave, you'll notice that anyone that passes by the two of you automatically knows to keep quiet. You'll hear vehicons chatting and laughing over something far off in the halls, but once they get close enough there will be nothing but dead silence from them. Why they do it is something you'll never truly find out, as the answer you get varies depending on who you ask, but at least you have Soundwave to thank for the silence.

However, you don't always have to keep quiet around him while he works. He doesn't mind if you talk about things like how your day went, or something new that you're interested in, or the gossip you've heard around the ship while he works (as long as he doesn't need to completely focus on his work at the moment). They're more of a listener than a talker, but every now and then, they'll play back clips of your voice in order to ask more about something you mentioned or maybe something unrelated.

Whenever you've had your fill of work, or you want to get up and stretch your legs before you come back, all you have to do is slowly get up and Soundwave will automatically catch on that you want down. They'll lift their arm level to their shoulder and slowly set you to the ground before they continue their work.

Whenever you wander around the Nemesis, the gossip you hear varies from vehicons back talking some of the higher-ups, to vehicons from different barracks or squadrons back talking vehicons from other barracks or squadrons, to gossip about you. They say all sorts of things, ranging from disdain at how Soundwave adopted a pet squishy, to amazement at how talented humans can be, to questions about what they think being a human is like. It's a mixed bag, really, and unless you can learn to tell the vehicons apart from one another, you can't tell what you'll hear when you listen in on some vehicons working on changing the lights in the hall.

Soundwave's become familiar with places you frequently visit around the Nemesis, so it doesn't take too long to find you. Additionally they have access to every surveillance camera aboard the ship as well as a very keen eye, so it really isn't much of a challenge for them. However, if they're too busy then they'll send Lazerbeak to go fetch you for whatever reason they need you.

Your room is located within his habsuite of course, but you're allowed your own privacy, as well as a lot of space to store all of your belongings. And of course since you have different needs than a cybertronian, he'll take time every week in order to accompany you down to some town or city within Earth, or task Lazerbeak to watch after you as you get the necessary things you need like food, water, clothing, etc..

But where would you get the cash for such things? He simply takes it from the rich. The security systems and anti-virus software available on earth technology is considered very rudimentary by Soundwave's standards, so it's not much of an issue for them to develop a malware that slowly trickles money out of some rich person's bank account.

However, if for some reason something were to happen while you were down on earth, you have his personal comm link line. The moment you call that line, he'll either go find you himself or disbatch Lazerbeak to retrieve you if he's unavailable.

[jokeroutsubs]

ENG SUB: JokerOutSubs x RADIOaktivno collab: Joker Out – Šta bih ja

Audio + CC link here

We want to thank once again Boštjan Najžar from RADIOaktivno podcast (Facebook, YouTube), for collaborating with us for a third time. We’ve previously worked with him on the English subtitles for the 'Umazane misli' album presentation and 'Demoni' album presentation. Please check them out, if you haven’t seen them yet.

We’d also like to extend our sincere gratitude for the shout out during the interview! Acknowledgements of our hard work and positive comments like this keep us going, and the whole team was so pleasantly surprised! It is very much appreciated!

Credits: Transcript and translation by @kurooscoffee and an anonymous member of JokerOutSubs, proof read by IG GBoleyn123, captions by @kurooscoffee and X pastellibianchi.

Transcript below the cut👇

Host: Bojan from Joker Out is with me. Hi.

Bojan: Hi, hi!

New songs are slowly trickling towards completion, or not?

Bojan: Let's say 'slowly trickling', is a very good expression, yes.

So is the creative process also slower because of all your other occupations or not?

Bojan: Yeah, these concerts are a bit of a distraction, the heat outside certainly doesn't have the best effect on working before four or five in the afternoon, so the pace isn't the fastest, but I still think that it's the right one for this moment.

And if you also look at last year, would you say it was a great year?

Bojan: Yeah, that year was… Really, to say dreamlike would be an understatement, because even when we were dreaming, we couldn't have imagined that, so, truly unbelievable.

After all, 'Carpe Diem' was the most played Slovenian song?

Bojan: Yeah, yeah. It's true.

And then there's the golden record in Finland.

Bojan: Yeah, we never imagined that we'd get a golden record in Finland before we got it in Slovenia, but here you go, anything can happen.

And you have also literally taken Slovene around the world.

Bojan: We have, yes. Which is a very interesting phenomenon, that can't be fully grasped either by the locals in the places that we visit, nor by us, but it's beautiful and very magical to come to a new place every time and to hear the people, whom you actually can't differentiate, while they're in the crowd, from the Slovenian audience, in terms of singing.

The 'See You Soon' tour is also behind you. That was an actual, real, tour. How did you experience all this?

Bojan: Yeah, now we've actually experienced this, let's say, a tour as we imagined it from music documentaries and films from abroad and I have to say that it was a really good mixture of intensity and pleasure. We went into all of it, I'd say, quite maturely and professionally, so that we could make it through all the concerts healthy, and get one hundred percent out of ourselves at each location. So it'll forever be one of those very, very, very beautiful memories.

I guess it all requires quite a bit of physical fitness as well?

Bojan: Yeah, which, honestly, I'll speak for myself, I don't have, but cardio at concerts somehow meets at least the basic needs.

But it looks different on stage. You're always in good shape there, when I see the various clips online.

Bojan: Yes, exactly! I'm somewhat in shape on stage, but offstage, (laughs) unfortunately, not so much.

You've already played new songs on the tour and one of them has now become a single. It's the song 'Šta bih ja'.

Bojan: Mhm.

This time in Serbian.

Bojan: Yeah. 'Šta bih ja' was basically the first song that we did in London, when we went to make music for the third studio album and somehow, already in the rehearsal space, it suited the band the most. And the first time we played it live, it was apparently also very well… it had a very good response from the audience and we stuck to the song and we recorded it in the studio as the first one and released it as the first single, because it was kind of expected by the fans.

Considering the activities that you all have in the band, or that you have yourself, then you don't have either a house or an address?

Bojan: Unfortunately, no. (laughs)

In that case, maybe you prefer to offer or give out hotel addresses to everyone?

Bojan: Yeah, yeah. You could find a lot of hotel addresses because we've tried out plenty this year.

There's also an animated video that accompanies the song?

Bojan: Yes, the music video is… actually the work of one of our fans. On his Instagram profile, for each of our songs, he posted 15- to 20-second video animations which we always thought were, I'd say, original, different, and we decided that we wanted to do something different for this one and something that we haven't tried before, so we contacted our friend and asked him if he could make a music video. Fortunately, he responded with a positive answer, so we are very satisfied with how this came out. And again, involving the fans in our work somehow completes the picture and gives it an overall conclusion.

You mentioned earlier, Bojan, that you're preparing a new album, when can we expect it?

Bojan: You can expect it, let's say, by the end of October at the latest, I hope, and if not, certainly by the end of the year.

Will you be switching between languages on the album as well, Serbian, Slovenian, English?

Bojan: Absolutely, yeah. All three languages. will be present on the album.

When will there be a song from you in Finnish? Considering the fact that you did pretty well with Finnish?

Bojan: Oh! It's not in the plans as of yet, but I'd say that if things continue developing the way they are at the moment, something like that could happen very quickly, yes.

Because Käärijä's latest single is also a collab, or rather, a 'featuring', if I remember correctly. It was released not long ago.

Bojan: Yeah, yeah, yeah! He recorded the latest collab with Joost Klein, a Dutch musician, so, I don't know, well, maybe, like I'm saying, there may be some kind of a collaboration, or even an independent Finnish project in the future.

We'll say more when the album comes out, so we don't break the tradition.

Bojan: Right

By the way, the two interviews that we've done (T/N: 'Umazane misli' & 'Demoni' album presentations), have already been translated into English by a team that also works for you, or rather supports you.

Bojan: That's right, JokerOutSubs, who diligently review the materials about us on a daily basis, as they come out, and translate them into English and many other languages, so one huge huge hello to them, and a big thank you.

As I said, the song 'Šta bih ja' is now released. When is 'Bluza' coming?

Bojan: 'Bluza' is coming in the near future, but to be completely honest, I have no idea when we're planning to release it.

But now, on the air, we'll hear the recent one, 'Šta bih ja'. Bojan, šta bih ja radio? ('Bojan, what would I do?')

Bojan: Šta bih ja u ovoj crnoj noći bez tebe radio? ('What would I do in this black night without you?')

ŠTA BIH JA

Everyone: We are Joker Out!

Bojan: And you're listening to RADIOaktivno.

[inkymkk]

Hey, I'll be polite first obviously, how are you?

do you have some fanfics you like so much about Palletshipping?

I'm looking for recommendations to read :D thanks

I started reading a lot of their fanfics in 2014 in my own language (Brazilian Portuguese) but currently there aren't many stories lol but I wasn't much of a shipper, I just liked reading stories, I think I started to like it on the show more after rewaching OS...especially Jotho (it was from power and play - Blacky! Battle During a Dark Night!! I think, and Diamomd and Pearl when they appear for 2 episodes) Oh well, there's all of Kanto and Jotho in Portuguese by an old Fansub from 2006 until 2018, that even subtitled Black and White, but he didn't finish Battle Frontier (the only one, actually) so another Fansub is taking it to finish it.

Also, where in the anime did you start shipping them? If it's a separate post, can you send a link so if as not to repeat the question If you have already answered a similar question, but changed your mind about something or have something new, you can add it

This came out bigger than intended sorry lfmao.

A very interesting post about Zensho if you intend to read it unfortunately it is an almost lost media...It's very difficult to get a physical copy and the translation that is available is not accurate according to the translator himself but it's still fun to read (it's one of my favorites) It seems like a mix of fidelity to the Red and Blue games with elements from the main anime, but factual differences between the characters' stories. Mainly more stuff about Oak/Shigeru's family I think it could be incorporated into Gary's character or not, I think that's up to people.

I think Shigeru's jealous relationship over Satoshi winning multiple times is funny, but there's a good reason behind it and the conclusion is adorable so I'm okay with it.

I wish more people knew Zensho because their dynamic is precious to me.

Another huge text omg...Thanks for reading again

Good!

I actually don't read Palletshipping fanfics often or even..at all.., But I do reccomends finding some at AO3, good shit there, I've seen really good mandarin shigesato fics actually, can't remember who wrote it..

Story time, I used to be a Gousato shipper actually.. (but for some reason when I saw the episode where Gary was coming back I was so excited and shit, mind you, I've never watched much pokemon anime prior to this, And the only pokemon anime I watched clips of was XY and black and white and yet the episode Gary came back I was jumping up and down.) I was in a relationship with a Gou kin back then but ya know some things never last.. just this year! I started to realize how much I actually truly liked shigesato (new year new me I guess.) I've always had liked it during my gousato phase (infact if I never invited that Gou kinnie to a RP server I used to be in I think It would've been a shigesato simp earlier lmao.) and once me and that old Gou kinnie started falling out I started to consume for Gary content and watching the original gen 1 anime and... That's when my storage space died bc I started downloading full videos and images.. teehee

Also that's a shame, hope someone in the fandom could find a link or something for the manga, I haven't had the time to research or find it yet so.. also I'm def drawing all 3 Gary versions one day, with all the blues...or green..or..glue..hhheheheh.... I want KitKat

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I meant to reply sooner but I guess I've been distracted so I apologize. Also I'm sorry if I can't remember everything. Oh that's cool..and it seemed like a fun trip. I saw some of your posts about seeing Holly Humberstone in concert and going to the aquarium. I hope you still ended up having a good time even though the airline or travel sucked. I've only been on one plane a long time ago so I can't relate. But I am also going out of town this weekend but we are driving. Also if you're still sick, I hope you're feeling better. My sister is starting to feel sick too actually.

I keep up with the show through gifs mostly and know the basics. I've watched a few clips too. I've also heard the show is a lot better than the books. What do you think? What is your favorite season so far? Does it match up with your favorite book? I think the most popular is season two with Kate and Anthony and that's the one I'm most familiar with too. I don't know much about Jonathan Bailey but I heard him sing the last five years before so I know he can sing pretty good so I'm excited to see him as Fiyero.

Haha I love Shameless but I wouldn't really compare it to The Bear besides the attitude of his and other characters I guess. It's about a tough Chicago family and they deal with crazy situations. Unfortunately I never even finished the show and I don't remember why. It definitely got weaker in the last few seasons. I still love it but think it would be a hard show to recommend based on what you like lol but I'm excited for the Bear.

Billie's album has grown on me a lot more now with more listens. I'm glad you liked it. I feel it was a good mix of her other albums if you never listened to her before. My favorites are Skinny, Lunch, Birds of a Feather, L'amour de ma Vie and Blue. At first, I wasn't impressed and the transitions or production threw me off. I think two songs were actually pretty similar to Taylor actually. The obvious one was L'amour de ma vie which I knew even reading the title translates to love of my life. It's similar or almost the opposite cuz in this song she's saying she said it but Taylor says the other person says it about her. I just found that interesting that it was the same concept basically being told in a different way. I feel similarly about gonnagetyouback and Get Him Back by Olivia and I guess Peter vs Wendy. How they're not really similar songs at all despite having the same kind of idea. The other one was that the end of the Greatest in the bridge reminded me of her song Happier than Ever but also the bridge of Smallest Man who Ever Lived. But I don't think Billie is similar to Taylor at all compared to the other two..I think she is more like Lana. I just found it to be an interesting coincidence though but that's all. I need some more time with Zayn's album but my favorite is called Stardust. Overall I like that all of the 1D boys have different styles and music and same for all of the popular albums from this year.

The new twenty one pilots album is amazing and I love it so much. It's like a blend of all of their styles which is really awesome. I liked it right away but my sister was expecting a bit more since they said it would have a lot of lore and it was the end of a story they've been telling for the past few albums. They also had a Livestream and music videos for each song which they talked about so it felt like an event and was really fun. I definitely recommend the album but don't feel bad if you don't get to it. I also feel behind on some albums since I've spent lots of time listening to this album and Taylor's, but they will both definitely be my albums of the year lol. I am already starting to connect some songs with past Taylor songs too. I think if I had to pick a Taylor album to compare it to, maybe Midnights? But there has also been some theories about a double album too and if the story is truly over which also lines up perfectly with Taylor lol. But we are also waiting on one more mv to drop that can wrap up the story so idk. Anyway my favorite songs are Next Semester, Navigating, Midwest Indigo, Vignette, Snapback, Oldies Station and Paladin Strait.

Omg how did you only just now watch the sisterhood of the traveling pants movie? I love the movie and thought it was a good adaptation of the book. I did read the whole series too which I love. Did you also watch the second movie too? They also said a while ago that number 3 is still in the works and I love that they're still close too. I think just based on what I've read so far, Funny Story will be in the middle maybe and I understand some criticisms. The plot itself seems more tropes compared to her other books but it's also a mix of her other books to me. So far, I think I like Beach Read or Book Lovers the best. It is interesting when I read articles about which ones are the best and the rankings are always different, which is good cuz there is something for everyone and people connect with different things. I will definitely try to finish along with Carley's too hopefully now that it's summer time.

I can't believe the Tony's are almost here. I spent part of my weekend watching more performances and it's hard to say what will win best musical. They're all pretty different in a good way. I've also tried to read more reviews and what people thought but I'm still bad at predicting lol. I watched one Stereophonic performance and I think people seem to like it a lot so you're probably right about it winning. It makes sense if it's about musicians that it would only be about an album worth of songs though. I think my favorite is the Outsiders still, but I'm probably biased cuz of the book and I have read pretty mixed reviews. I will send the rest in a part 2!

you're totally fine, friend! <33 hope you've been well!! i did have a good trip regardless of the travel day from hell. i hope you're having a fun time out of town!! did you know that i have never been in a car longer than like three hours (basically how long it would take me to drive down to portland or vancouver)? i am still sickly :( me and my victorian child immune system just does not want to kick this cold away unfortunately.

my favorite season is season two! and it matches with my favorite book (anthony's)! i think my ranking of the siblings are: anthony → francesca → hyacinth → eloise → gregory → colin → benedict → daphne & in terms of books, it's anthony → francesca → colin → hyacinth → eloise → gregory → benedict → daphne. the new season is coming so soon and i'm very excited! i saw some kanthony related spoilers on twitter, and am stoked. i loveee jonathan bailey! he's phenomenal in the last five years, and was also so lovely in company and american psycho! i'd love to see him do more theatre.

i really really like billie's new album! a couple of the songs on there have made it onto my june playlist (lunch, birds of a feather, wildflower, and skinny)! i've also been listening to maggie rogers' newest album quite a bit, as well as please please please by sabrina carpenter, isabel by isabel pless and close to you by gracie abrams. and of course, charli xcx's newest album, brat — i've been listening to b2b, von dutch, 360, club classics and talk talk a lot.

there's a lot of quintessential movies that my friends grew up watching that i totally missed out on! sisterhood of the traveling pants was one of them, and i'm really glad i got to watch it with a friend who loved it — made the experience so much more special! i haven't gotten around to watching the second movie yet; scheduling movie nights with my friend is difficult (we have opposite work schedules) but i think we will watch it together eventually! and then the third one, when it comes out!

beach read and book lovers are my favorites! i'm very curious to see what emily henry writes next! i've been reading very little — just a lot of classics lately (finished the phantom of the opera, still making my way through gatsby & started the hunchback of the notre dame), and i started s./ship of theseus last night but i'll be taking my time with it! it's quite overwhelming!

tony awards next weekend!!! eeeee! i'm so excited! i'm really rooting for the outsiders (partially out of spite, partially because it's what i predicted). i wish stereophonic got to perform! i think it's silly they wouldn't let them! see you in a bit for part two <333

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Wonderland!Kaiju AU

UPDATED RULES 11-28-2022

Summary: A human awakens on a mysterious island with no memory of how they got there or what happened to them, the only odd thing they have in their possession being an ankle bracelet that won’t come off. Upon exploring the beach and forest, they discover an abandoned research facility and come to realize that their surroundings are massive: the rocks, the trees and plants, the food, the monsters, the…

Monsters?!

The moment they realize they’re trapped on a nightmarish island surrounded by giant kaiju creatures and smaller mutant creatures, they must utilize all their cunning and sheer determination to survive by utilizing the research left behind by the missing/late scientists. Luck is truly on their side when—after slipping into a puddle of goo created to mimic the scent of young kaiju—it saves them from being eaten by a kaiju that had limited data on it other than the code name “Grim”. Unfortunately, this has led to a giant crow-lizard hybrid nicknamed “Nevermore” to adopt the two as his hatchlings…which is perhaps a blessing in disguise when the kaiju scares away the smaller monsters hunting them.

Can they survive long enough to get off the island? Will they ever regain their memories? And…who are these mysterious “Phantom Precursors” mentioned in one of the corrupted files?

Cast (will be updated as characters are introduced):

Yuu/MC/Reader: main protagonist with no memory of their arrival on the island; awoke wearing basic clothing and bare-footed with an ankle bracelet that tracks their health and condition; has a strange connection to the kaiju that has yet to come to light.

Amity Willows: lab assistant and researcher; author of most of the reports on kaiju studies; deceased

Tools and Equipment:

Ankle bracelet: mysterious device that won’t come off; it monitors and tracks the protagonist’s health and status condition and can provide updates through MIRA per request. (A/N: it will come off in the future, but it does get damaged).

MIRA: a mini personal computer in the form of a bracer; made from unknown material that alters to fit the bearer and appears to be sentient to a degree, seeking out a new “host” when they come within range. Designed to collect and analyze data, Mira connects to the AI unit “Dark Mirror” and is capable of multiple functions. It can communicate with its carrier, record and play videos and sound clips, and translate written or verbal languages.

Dark Mirror: a mysterious AI supercomputer hidden somewhere on the island, monitoring the environment and sending warnings of impending natural (or unnatural) disasters. Scattered across the multiple facilities are smaller versions of the Dark Mirror, each one concealing coded data that’s been encrypted for safekeeping. It’s possible to communicate with it via MIRA, but access to classified data is restricted without the proper clearance chip. (A/N: This and MIRA were created using a hybrid of human and Phantom Precursor technology)

Rules for the Kaiju!AU:

1) Yuu/Reader/MC in this AU has a unique situation about them that means they have little to no memory of what happened before they awoke on the island that will be revealed in due time.

2) That doesn’t mean that researchers are off the table! These might wind up as scenarios or “video logs” that Yuu will get access to through MIRA as they explore the island with Grimfang (who will be nicknamed “Grim” by Yuu).

3) For the most part this AU is more or less “tiny human gets adopted by giant monsters” with some silly fluff and goofball moments, but generally speaking there are going to be some dangerous things on the island that would be more than happy to fight Yuu’s new giant guardians or chase after a teenie hooman~! And it’s not just the kaiju that Yuu has to worry about either… >v>

4) When submitting a question for the AU to MIRA, make sure you use the phrase: "MIRA, MIRA" and then ask your question. This will be for questions regarding the kaiju themselves or even some behaviors. Anything regarding scenarios of shenanigans will be answered either by myself or will be turned into a skit depending on if the inspiration strikes!

Rules will be updated as things come up or I think of them, but for now, ask whatever questions or scenarios you wish to know or see!

[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Nothing Comes For Free (Byakuya/Ultimate Housewife!Reader/Nagito)

CHAPTER ONE: One Life Pretending to Be the Cat Who Got the Cream

Next Chapter

Rating: Mature (Eventually Explicit)

Summary: It only makes sense that the Ultimate Affluent Progeny and Ultimate Housewife of class 78 would end up married to each other. Five years into your marriage, life is more than dull. Until Komaeda Nagito is essentially dropped at your doorstep by the Future Foundation and Byakuya puts him to work as a housekeeper. While you love your husband, Nagito keeps you company while he's away doing God-knows-what on his 'business trips'. It's only a matter of time before your relationship with both men grows even more complicated...

(A * will be in the chapter titles containing smut)

Contains (Will Be Updated With Chapters): She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Female Reader, Infidelity, Somewhat Unhealthy Relationships

A/N: I have somewhere between a quarter and a half of the fic written and we're already looking at about 22k words, so buckle up for a long one, everybody...

SEE FULL LIST OF TAGS AND NOTES ON AO3

     You and Byakuya had a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy: you didn’t ask where he went or who he was with when he came home days after he left with no warning. He never told you when he decided he was sick of the monogamy he’d promised you and reverted back to ‘traditional Togami ways’. It was better for everyone, you assured yourself when the mirror began to mock you. It sounded like his voice. You wouldn’t know, maybe even remember the way his voice rose and fell around his clever words- he’d been gone for two weeks at that point.

     Your ‘relationship’, or whatever it was, with Komaeda had begun purely out of spite. The Foundation had, for lack of a better word, given him to the Togami Coorporation after rehabilitation. He had sought… ‘strong guidance’, and the Foundation couldn’t find an issue with that, as long as it was the right kind. They’d left him at the disposal of Byakuya and it wasn’t long before the ex-Remnant of Despair, the arguable mastermind behind the destruction of Towa city and its surrounding regions, the one who’d truly begun the killing in the bugged version of the Neo-World Program was little but a glorified housemaid. It reminded you of what Byakuya had done to you.

     You’d been cunning, ambitious, intelligent, even. You’d been among the survivors of the 78th class’s Killing Game. Being the Ultimate Housewife took cleverness and the ability to both micromanage and delegate. Being able to keep track of all the moving pieces at once. It had translated easily enough to the Foundation’s specialized branches. You’d made it up through the ranks of the Foundation, you’d been there to watch over the Remnants, you’d gone on every mission they needed from you- but you’d made a mistake that rendered those years of field experience useless. You’d been swayed by Byakuya’s proposal.

     It was curt, quick, but he had that smile he only ever gave to you on his face, the one that had kept you going throughout the dark, despairing years. Everything after he slipped the ring onto your finger was a whirlwind culminating in your marriage, and shortly after being relegated to little more than another trophy of his. You still worked for the Foundation, but you were little more than a secretary, sorting through paperwork and managing outreach to Byakuya and other higherups from your house. Now, you sat around the chateau that had survived through the wreckage that was the new world. Occasionally Makoto or Kyoko dropped by, but even then it was usually to see Byakuya. Any friends you’d ever made who weren’t dead were constantly busy trying to put the pieces of the world back together. You knew more than anything you lived one of the most charmed lives on the planet, but it was still glamorized solitary. You were a caged songbird with clipped wings.

     You couldn’t help but keep your eyes on the war criminal inside your house. The rest of the staff was terrified of him. They’d even come up to you, begging on their hands and knees to trade shifts so they wouldn’t have to be around him for long. Eventually, you’d had to sort out schedules so that Komaeda was always alone, but he never seemed to mind, and to his credit, he did the work of four. After so many complaints you realized that you’d have to go sort him out yourself- after all, even though he was technically his employer, Byakuya was as reliable around the house as a bucket with a hole. You’d gone down to the first floor when he was tasked with its upkeep that day.

     Even though you knew that there was no possible way he could have gotten his hands on anything dangerous, there were even guards assigned to watch Komaeda’s every move (through cameras, even they couldn’t stomach his presence) each step towards the room you could hear him humming from felt as though you were stepping through a wave of pure dread. The handlers assigned to him had even assured you and Byakuya both that he was physically weak as the average preteen and would show the signs of his malnourishment for quite a while. 

     But you weren’t stupid. You knew that Komaeda’s weapons had always been his mind and mouth, and you knew those were some of the most dangerous.

     He was cleaning the tiles with a mop, whistling broken notes to a tune you’d never heard. He heard you approach and he looked up expectantly, as if waiting for his next command. When he took in your appearance, his face broke out into a smile. Your stomach tossed. You thought you might be sick.

     He adjusted the light, black jacket he was wearing. It was over a grey button down and khaki slacks- the masculine version of the housekeeping uniform all of Byakuya’s housekeepers wore. It was almost funny to you, that now he was even wearing a uniform. You’d seen pictures of him when you still worked, when the Foundation was still hunting him down. He’d been scraggly and everything about him screamed haphazard. His white hair looked tangled, even in photos, and he seemed dangerously thin- he looked much better now. His face had color, and his eyes-

     “Togami-sama?” Komaeda straightened himself out, leaning a bit on the mop. “Ah, what can I do for you?” Even slouched over, he was taller than you. “I’m sorry, I’m not quite done with the floors yet. I apologize for my incompetence. My skills are… surely less than qualified for a house as stunning as this.” He smiled crookedly. To see him smile so easily was-

     “I- I’m sorry, I must have wandered into the wrong room.” You cleared your throat and turned away. “Goodbye.”

     “Goodbye, Togami-sama! Nice to finally meet you!” He chirped. Your heels echoed down the hardwood as you hurried away. You understood why so many people had wanted to get away from him. ‘It was his mind, his mouth…’ You recalled. ‘His mouth… Oh, fuck.’

*****

     Komaeda had been quickly reassigned as your personal live-in servant. It was simply easier than having to constantly rearrange the schedules and have to deal with the fear he inspired in other people. For two weeks, his presence loomed over you, though he never approached you without being asked. He seemed to keep showing up in places you were going to. ‘Could I prepare you a tea, ma’am?’ He asked when you approached the kitchens for breakfast. ‘It’s quite sunny out, would you like me to bring you an umbrella?’ He said when he passed by the door to the garden you’d been heading out. ‘Is there anything at all I can do or bring for you?’ He repeated, every night, as you made your way around the house, checking on the state of it before going to bed.

     You felt guilty not assigning him anything, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to. But he walked away, dejected in a way his permanent smile did not hide- a servant with nothing to serve. You knew that pain well. Each day you walked into a room whose dusting you wanted to touch up and another cleaner came running in, head bowed and apologizing profusely before finishing. Every time you snuck into the kitchens and pulled out the ingredients for a grand cake that’s taste you craved as badly as the satisfaction of baking it and a chef walked in with the menu for the day they needed to prepare for everyone. Every night in that grandiose California King bed with its soft, silken sheets you spent alone.

     It was like Byakuya knew what he was doing. It was a fate people only spoke of in whispers- or at least, the housestaff did, and that’s all you really had the chance to hear- to be an Ultimate with no talent to practice. It was an aberration. Everything was done by the halves: a house, but not a home, to keep. A husband, but only in name most days, who spent most of his time with other women.

     On the fifteenth day, you cracked.

     “How do you… keep smiling?”

     He looked up from the closet the cleaning supplies were kept in. You knew everything that was kept in there, once upon a time. The first time a product showed up you had never heard about it broke your heart. You pushed the memory aside as his eyes met yours.

     “I’m- I’m sorry, ma’am?”

     “It’s nothing, really. Nevermind.” You shook your head. Made your way to continue on, like you hadn’t come all the way down here just to find him.

     “My apologies, I just thought I misheard you.” He seemed to be thinking as he continued to put things away. More things you didn’t recognize, you realized bitterly. “...I don’t think I’ve ever been asked a question like that.” He said softly. You wanted to say something, but no words would have fit right in the space. Not from you, at least. “I take care to find things to smile for. We have to keep moving towards hope, I think. There’s nothing else, is there?”

     The sound of things moving around in a cabinet you could not see. Nothing else.

     “Komaeda?”

     “Yes ma’am?”

     “Will you…” You dug your manicured nail into your palm. You loathed asking for help. “Will you aid me in taking inventory of our food and cleaning supplies today? I’d like to be more… aware of the going ons in the house.”

     “It would be my pleasure.” He said eagerly. You didn’t doubt that it was. 

_______________________

NEXT CHAPTER

[plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms]

Nemesis: Retribution (5)

Summary: 10 years after the Avengers had left you for dead during a mission gone wrong, you unexpectedly re-enter their lives. Wholly unrecognizable from the person they used to know and now with a new team behind you, they ask for your help to stop a chain of syndicates who were manufacturing and peddling the super soldier serum. You were determined to say no until the chance at the vengeance you had been chasing for years was added to the offer.

Fandoms: Avengers, Marvel, MCU, The Punisher, Daredevil

Pairings: Female Reader x (Frank Castle, Billy Russo, Matt Murdock, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Pietro Maximoff)

Warnings: EXPLICIT SMUT. SHAMELESS SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR (18+ ONLY. I WILL BLOCK YOU), human rights violations, polyamorous relationships, reverse harem, blatant disregard for canon timelines and events, angst, Punisher canon level of violence and gore, strong language, mentions of trauma, mentions of character death, fluff if you squint,

A/N: Okay okay. I’m finally happy with how this turned out. Goddamn that’s a lot of words. I’ll see you all in the party in the comments and reblogs! I love reading what you think. Don’t be shy. Jump in!

No permission is granted to repost, steal, or translate my work. Not even a credit makes it okay. Tumblr is the only place I post my writing. If you see it anywhere else please report it.

[gif not mine. credit to: this glorious gif post.]

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

1:5 Lemons

2 missions.

A 50/50 chance of getting Salvacion.

Your heart was pounding in your chest and you were on the verge of getting lightheaded from the anticipation. A decade of chasing this bastard and this was the closest you had ever gotten to him. The man was not only deadly in skill, but always seemed to manage to give you the slip every single time. Forcing yourself to face the life you left was worth it if it meant finally avenging Lily.

The briefings the past week had been long, but they were important to make sure everyone was prepared to end this. You were minutes away now from shipping off to the mission and your whole body was buzzing.

This was it.

There were two locations that you had to hit at the same time. Two locations with large shipments that you had to stop from reaching its destination. The teams needed to be split.

"Let's go over this one more time," Steve started, fully suited up in black that was truly a far cry from his old blue and red ensemble. "I'll be leading a team into the shipment yards with Bucky and Nem at the front. Sam will be on air support. Billy will manage a team of snipers in the surrounding area."

This was the smaller of locations, but with the larger shipment. The location itself entailed a more strategic approach. You weren't happy that there was a chance that Salvacion would be at the other location, but having Frank on that team put you somewhat at ease. He understood more than anyone how important this was to you and he promised he would take Salvacion alive. He was yours to kill.

Frank always kept his promises.

"I'll be leading the other team into the industrial district," Frank continued, his signature vest strapped tight across his chest. "Pietro and Matt will cover the perimeter and I'll be charging in with Nat and Wanda."

Their location was more complicated. It was too close to the residential district and the warehouses there ran 24/7. There was a high risk of civilian casualty if they weren't careful which was why almost everyone who was powered was assigned to that group. They needed every capability they could pull to make sure no innocent blood was spilled.

"Good," Steve nodded. "We'll both have a group of agents with us too. They've been briefed and are prepping transport as we speak. We leave in 20 minutes."

Everyone nodded their understanding, grabbing their gear and heading down to the transport docks. There was a fleet of cars standing by that would be used, gassed up and ready to go. Your hands were drumming repeatedly on your vest, itching to just get on the road. Frank and Matt lingered with you before they joined the rest of their group.

The towering marine stepped up close to you and tightened the buckles of your bulletproof vest, wishing you would have accepted the offer of better gear from the Avengers but also knowing it was hypocritical of him when he declined as well.

It just wasn't your style.

It was his own damn fault for training you in his own combat style. He had no doubt of your capability, but still he worried about you. He always worried about you and he felt a sense of responsibility toward you after finding you tortured within an inch of your life.

"Stay close to Steve, sweetheart."

You snorted, but a glance back at Steve who was already looking at you with a raised eyebrow made you grumble and relent. "Fine."

"Good girl," Frank chuckled, before leaning in to press a firm kiss on your lips as he held you by the buckles of your vest. You smiled into the kiss, feeling the steady protection and reassurance that he always brings.

He stepped away for Matt to get his turn. This was a tradition that just developed naturally between the four of you. A kiss before danger. A promise to keep safe. A promise to come home.

Matt took your face in both hands and kissed the breath out of you as if he was trying to outdo Frank. It wasn't uncommon. He was always more aggressive with his affections, always as if he was scared you might suddenly slip away from his life and you were happy to reassure him every time that you weren't going anywhere. He chuckled when you bit his lip, beating him to it. He gave you one more peck before stepping aside.

Billy came closer to your side and slung his arm around your shoulders, chuckling as he nuzzled his nose against the side of your face. It was amusing him to no end at how easily you were folding for Steve. It was a nice change of pace from the three of them never being able to deny you anything.

Most especially Billy.

"We're definitely keeping Steve around. I think I like you compliant," he snickered, turning your head toward him with a finger under your chin. He planted a quick chaste peck on your lips. Your eyebrows quirked at the unusual behavior.

"What you're not gonna try to outdo me too?" Frank teased.

"Nem knows I do my best kissing elsewhere. Don't you, pretty girl?" Billy winked at you and you rolled your eyes. You smacked him in the chest but didn’t comment further. He wasn't wrong, but he was smug enough as it is.

You were about to turn toward the cars when you were knocked back slightly to the side by a sudden peck to your cheek. You couldn't stop the laugh when you caught Pietro's grin before he vanished again, a subtle warmth spreading in your chest. You were still smiling when you took your seat beside Steve who intertwined your hand with his and raised it to his lips, smiling that soft boyish smile against your skin that now made your stomach flip. He didn't let go of your hand throughout the ride, even as he caught Bucky's yearning gaze in the rearview mirror.

You were greeted by an ambush.

Somehow the syndicates knew that you would be coming, setting up a small army as your welcome party. A quick distress call through the comms from Frank confirmed that they were facing the same in their location.

But you couldn't focus on that.

You were too busy tearing through the goons that kept coming at you. Having two super soldiers and Sam in the thick of it with you was a blessing, but even with the other agents and Billy's sniper support you were severely overrun. You would just have to trust that the other team can handle their own.

You emptied the clips of your pistols as you trudged your way deeper into the fray, not bothering to duck or take cover from the onslaught of angry men. You tossed your empty guns to the side and drew out another, catching a few bullets in your vest.

No time to reload.

"I got you, Hedwig. Give 'em hell," Billy said in your ear.

The deadly smirk on your lips was the only warning the men in front of you got. You charged again as the adrenaline coursed through your body, bullets flying precisely into their skulls.

One. Two. Three. Four men down.

When your bullets ran out, you dropped the gun and pulled out two daggers. Your eyes narrowed as you took off into a sprint toward the closest target, weaving effortlessly through the oncoming fire.

A slice to the forearm to disarm.

A dagger up the chin.

Dead.

He dropped to the ground spluttering on his blood as you took the other dagger and sent it flying toward another's chest.

Dead.

Rough muscular arms caught you by surprise and gripped you from behind, caging you as you struggled. You saw the gun in his hand and reacted.

Break the wrist to disarm.

You smirked at the loud pop of his bones. You grabbed the gun before it dropped to the ground as you slipped a knife from your vest. The pain in his wrist caused him to loosen his hold on you, allowing you to turn to face him.

Blade to the gut.

Bullet to the face. Point blank.

Dead.

You didn't even flinch when his blood splattered across your face, joining the explosion of red already painting your figure. You could make out two more in your peripheral who dropped to the ground before they could advance on you, care of your guardian angel with a sniper rifle.

"Thank you, Blackbird," you said sweetly.

"Goddamn, doll," Bucky said, Steve stood beside him mirroring the same look of equal awe and fear.

This was the first time they had seen you in action. Hearsay and that little demo with Kim did nothing to prepare them for the sheer brutality you had when given the clear purpose to kill. You didn't hesitate. You didn't waste time. You didn't care that you were drenched in blood. You had a goal and you were going to meet it every time with ruthless violence.

This was who you were now.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Steve came up to you looking worried after seeing you charging headlong at open gunfire.

He didn't like it. At least he had a shield. Skilled as you were, he didn't like that you were running every mission like you had a death wish. There was so much blood on you that it was difficult for him to tell if any of it was yours.

"None of the blood is mine," you dismissed, wiping your face with what was the only clean part of your sleeve. "Let's go. I hear more up ahead and Sam said that's where the shipment is."

Rounding the corner, you were faced with another cluster of goons with weapons aimed at your small group. They stood a good distance away in front of two shipping containers that were being readied for transport. Sam landed beside you along with a group of agents. Bucky pushed you behind him and Steve raised his shield to cover you both. Billy chirped in the comms that the snipers had repositioned and were ready. All of that barely registered with you, white noise against the rage that was brewing, because behind enemy lines was the goal you've been chasing for a decade.

Salvacion.

"I have to say," he drawled. His voice, the first you're hearing of now, sending a chill down your spine. "I expected more from the Avengers. You didn't even bring Iron Man. I'm disappointed."

"Give up the serum," Steve growled.

"No. I don't think I will," he answered. "Kill them all."

All hell broke loose once more; fists, bullets, knives, and a shield flying in every direction. Bucky and Steve kept close to you, shielding you from most of the shots as you advanced. You gunned down every bastard you saw but your eyes never strayed from Salvacion who was just standing there watching the clash.

Taunting you.

Something nagged at the back of your head as you fought. It was unusual for the syndicates to be deploying this many people to a single location even if it was for the serum. While you were thanking every god you knew for luckily drawing Salvacion on this mission, his presence was also peculiar. Something else was going on.

Something else was here.

The syndicates were pushing back on your team hard, but you were making a dent in their numbers. When you saw Salvacion start walking away, that was when you felt the panic stir in your mind.

"I can't let him get away, Steve!"

You ignored his and Bucky's calls for you as you made a mad dash straight through the fight, efficiently shooting and stabbing anyone who dared get in your path. You were consumed with the purpose of reaching him, of finally being able to end it all.

You left the larger fight behind you in favor of this more personal one, the noise receding as you chased him farther. You caught a glimpse of him making his way up stacked containers and you sped up your run. You didn't even think twice about climbing the height. Nevermind potential broken bones. Nevermind getting cornered. Nevermind that you had no backup.

Salvacion would die today.

When you reached the top, you were surprised to see him standing there waiting for you but also that he wasn't alone. You raised your gun to match the one he was aiming at you, but he merely tutted and smirked. His other hand also had a gun, this one aimed up the chin of the person he was holding captive in front of him.

Kim.

The amount of irritation this woman was bringing into your life was starting to get on your nerves. She was delegated on your team for this mission and you stifled the aggravated groan as you noticed that she was bleeding heavily from both shoulders causing her to not be able to fight back.

Top agent my ass.

"Hello, Nemesis," Salvacion grinned at you. "Or should I call you Y/N? Much more personal given our history, don't you think?"

Your name on his lips caused a wave of nausea and a sneer to grace your lips. You raised your gun higher, narrowing your eyes as his own pressed harder against Kim's skin. It wasn't an idle threat.

"Nice of you to show up for once. Was beginning to think you were avoiding me."

"Come now. Don't you enjoy our little game of cat and mouse?"

A game.

This was all a game to him and the malevolent smile on his face confirmed that. The fury in you burned, almost making you physically shake. Killing Lily was nothing to him while it had completely consumed your life. It had become your driving force while to him you were merely entertainment.

"You're going to let me go," he declared, fully confident.

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he dragged out. "Or else your teammate here will die."

"What makes you think I give a shit?" you scoffed. "Go ahead."

The way Kim's eyes widened in terror brought a sick sense of pleasure in you that you shouldn't be proud of. Salvacion let out a low laugh, amusement clear in his tone.

"Oh, dear child. No matter how much spite you wrap yourself with, you are the same naive hero wannabe you always were," he snickered. "Self-sacrificing. Even at the expense of your sister."

"You don't talk about Lily, you bastard!" you screamed, your grip shaking slightly on your weapon.

All of a sudden it was hard to breathe and your heartbeat was hammering in your ears. You didn't expect that finally facing him, hearing him talk about Lily like she was inconsequential, would shake you to your core. This was what you have been waiting for. This was what you have been building up to for the past decade. This was your purpose for living.

What were you waiting for?

"I am feeling generous today. Consider it my gift to commemorate our first official meeting," he said.

"What the fuck are you on?" you growled.

"Open the containers," he smiled. "See you soon, Y/N."

He abruptly tossed Kim to the side, pushing her off the ledge of the containers you were on and bolted away with a mad cackle. You shot at his retreating figure, desperately trying to aim through the turbulent emotions he inspired in you. You were going to chase after him when a yelp of pain caught your attention.

Kim was hanging by one hand off the edge, obviously struggling to hold herself up with her busted shoulders. You were too high up for her to survive the fall and she was too injured to help herself. Her grip was slipping.

"Y/N! Help me please!"

A dark shadow passed through your features. Saving her would mean Salvacion would definitely escape. Again. You didn't know if you would ever get another chance at him or when that would be.

You didn't like this woman. You never did. She tormented your youth, took joy in it even and as you reunited nothing changed. She was the same egotistic bully she always was. This was a dangerous mission. People die in the line of fire.

It happens. No one would blame you.

"Please!"

"Fuck!"

You dropped your weapon and clasped both hands on hers to pull her up. You strained with the effort, Kim being a deadweight adding to the struggle. You let go when half her body was safely on top, her legs swinging up to roll herself flat onto the surface. She was crying and whimpering from the fear and pain. You couldn't help the anger that bubbled to the surface.

You slapped her face.

"Get your goddamn shit together," you roared at her. "I don't have time for this. Call for evac, princess."

You ran toward the sound of helicopter blades, jumping onto crates and jolting your bones at the impact. You didn't care. The renewed rage had steadied you, calmed you almost to the point that the only thing you could see in your mind was taking him out. You had faltered and you would beat yourself up about that later, but you couldn't let him slip away again.

The helicopter was already starting to take off, Salvacion clearly visible through the open door. You cocked your gun and fired away. Empty. You slipped another gun out and fired. Empty. You kept running toward him, drawing and firing every last bullet you had as you screamed your frustration with every shot that missed.

You noticed that you managed to get a few through him by the way his body jerked. You were feeling optimistic until he reached around and pulled out a rocket launcher. You saw the sinister grin before he fired.

"Nem!" You heard your name being called, but you were too stunned by the horrible realization that you had failed today. You watched the helicopter slowly make it's way farther and farther behind the rocket that was hurtling toward you.

Even if you ran, the area of impact would still tear right through you. You were frozen in place, unable to process that this was how it would end. That it would end in you dying by his hand as well. That it would end without you making it up to Lily.

Your internal struggle was interrupted by a large body completely engulfing yours. The impact of the rocket threw you both to the ground and the loud explosion accompanied by ripping metal deafened your ears.

You struggled with your vision, the ringing in your head was painful and your body sore from crashing down. Oddly, your skull itself didn't feel injured. All of the pain seemed to be concentrated on your torso. You blinked a few times to focus the blur of your eyes as the repeated chanting of your name became louder.

"Are you okay, doll? Answer me, Nem! Come on."

"Bucky?"

Your sight finally focused to find that it was the brunette super soldier on top of you, covering you from what would have certainly been your death. The dread on his face gave way to a tired relief at you finally responding.

He pressed his forehead to yours and closed his eyes, taking deep steadying breaths. You noticed now that he was wincing and that his flesh arm was underneath you, supporting your back and cradling your head. His metal arm was detached, a mangled mess of forcibly severed wires and metal plates sticking out from his shoulder. Your eyes widened in realization.

"Bucky, your arm," you started to struggle underneath him, knowing he must be in a world of pain.

He shushed you by rubbing the tip of his nose against yours. Your eyes met icy blue ones and you saw him smile weakly, as if telling you it was worth it. He wouldn't hesitate to catch a missile with his arm again if it meant protecting you.

The rest of the boys reached you shortly after, Sam took Bucky and informed you that evac and medics were here. You were still in shock from what just happened. Billy took you gingerly in his arms, endlessly fussing at you and apologizing for not being able to do more even if you understood it was impossible for him to have tracked you through the chaos. Steve stood to the side, obviously furious at himself for not going to you even if you understood it was only right that he led the main fight.

Your body felt like it had gone through a war and you were too emotionally distressed to address anything else. You felt defeated. You felt at a loss. You failed Lily again today. Suddenly, you remembered what he told you.

His gift.

"Steve, Salvacion told me to open the shipments. He said it was a gift from him."

You didn't wait for them to respond, dragging your battered body limping across the yard to the crates. Billy recovered first, quickly jogging up to support your battered body straight with his. Steve followed closely behind, the uneasiness clouding the three of you. The locks were easily broken by Steve's shield and soon your gift was revealed.

What you saw drained the blood from all of you and caused your skin to immediately chill. It was the most sickening thing any of you have ever seen in your lives and that was saying something. How anyone could do this was beyond comprehension.

People. Dozens of people.

Crammed inside the steel box were dozens of people in various states of distress. All of them had barely any life left in them, barely sustained by the various IV bags hooked on their bodies. They hardly reacted when the doors were opened, too spent by what they had been made to go through to even blink. You suspected that a good portion of those who were not moving at all were dead. The smell was horrendous and this was coming from people who were about to be shipped to god knows where.

The horror you felt heightened to epic levels when you noticed that some of the drip bags held a different colored fluid, the distinct color of the super soldier serum. Then it clicked and the nausea finally overcame you. You poured your guts out onto the pavement, your stomach heaving violently as the truth made your vision spin.

Human testing.

Human experimentation.

And you had let the bastard escape.

Steve was going to approach you, clueless as he was on how to help you at that moment, but you had scrambled out of reach and ran out of the shipment yard. He called after you readying himself to go to you, but Billy's grip on his forearm stilled him.

"We're not who she needs right now, Cap," Billy shook his head. "Right now these people need us more."

"Where's she going?" Steve asked, swallowing hard on the lump in his throat and reluctantly agreeing.

"She'll be fine. Matt will find her."

Matt found you hours later. He had returned badly beaten and bruised from their own mission, but upon receiving word from Billy he pushed aside every painful injury he felt and rushed to where he knew he would find you. His chest tightened when he was told what you had seen. It was bad enough that you were carrying the guilt of your sister's death, but now you had the weight of all the lives that were victimized by these sick people too. It was too much for one person to bear.

He found you in the confession booth of the church on the corner of a quiet street and he couldn't see the broken look on your face when he opened the door, but he could feel it. He heard it in your unusually slow heartbeat, as if your organs were trying to give up. He heard it in the shallow breaths you took, as if the act of living was a betrayal in itself. He heard it in the cry that was begging to break through you throat. He could almost taste your despair.

He slowly knelt in front of you and pulled you urgently into his arms, squeezing himself into the tight space. He held you against him, clutching you tight and rocking you gently back and forth. This was an open secret shared between the two of you. When the darkness was overwhelming, you turned to each other and confessed. He pulled away after a long moment, cradling your face firmly in his palms. His thumbs brushed against your dry cheeks. Of course you hadn't been crying.

There were no more left to shed.

"Talk to me," he muttered, pressing his lips softly against yours.

"He experimented on a lot of people," you muttered. "And I let him go, Matty. I've been letting him carry on for ten years."

Your tone was almost a hoarse whisper, devoid of much emotion apart from a cold defeat. This worried him, but at least you were talking. You had known when you were being tortured that they Hydra hadn't perfected the serum. They kept torturing you in the hopes that they could get you to reveal anything about the formula, Steve and Bucky's abilities, or where samples of their blood were stored. You didn't talk.

Maybe you should have talked.

When the syndicates got their hands on the incomplete formula, they were faced with the same problem. A problem they apparently decided to solve by trial and error on actual people. You knew this. At the back of your mind you knew this, but it didn't register until you saw it for yourself tonight. Somehow you had ignored that fact because you had only been focused on your own grief.

"I let him go. I did this, Matty," you breathed, the guilt clear in your voice.

"No! You did not let him go. The bastard got away," he insisted. "And this is not your fault. I won’t let you think that this is your fault."

"No," you argued weakly. "I let him go. I had a shot at stopping him tonight and I didn't take it."

"Steve told me. You stopped to save Kim." The movement of his thumbs on your cheeks changed to soothing circles. "You stopped to save a teammate. That was a good thing."

You scoffed. "I wanted her to die."

"What?"

"For a solid moment as she was hanging on for her life, I wanted to let her die."

"She's alive now because of you, Nem. You fought it. You're strong. You didn't give into it."

"But what if that's what I need to do? If I did I could have ended Salvacion tonight."

You could have ended it all tonight.

Salvacion's words tonight plagued you. if you didn't try to play the hero then this whole twisted operation could have been stopped. If you didn't try to play the hero then you would have gotten your revenge for Lily. If you didn't play the hero then Lily wouldn't even be dead. You had wanted to save people so much, make a difference in the world, that you didn't stop and think about how that would impact the people you held most dear.

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" Matt asked cautiously, he knew more than anyone the struggle you faced. All of you were just a bad day away from completely snapping.

"I don't know," you admitted in defeat. You sounded so tired and confused that it broke his heart.

He held you for a moment more, waiting for your heart and breathing to return to normal. He didn't know what else to do or what else to tell you. He didn't know how to help you this time. Just then, he sensed the arrival of a Maximoff twin.

"Pietro's outside. I'll ask him to take you away for a while," he shook his head when he felt you were about to protest. "You need a break and you need some peace."

He led you outside, his pace slower than normal as your shoulders slumped lower to the ground in resignation. He exchanged a few words with Pietro before he pressed a kiss to your temple and pushed you toward the other man.

"Come with me, little star. I'll take care of you."

The next thing you knew, Pietro had lifted you into his arms and asked you to close your eyes. You buried your face into his neck as you felt the world around you dissolve in a blur, your hair whipped around but you weren't scared. The steady grip he had on you assured you that you would be safe. When he told you to open your eyes, you had no idea where you were or how long you had been traveling.

"Where are we?"

He gently set you on your feet as you looked around the area. It was beautiful. A dense lush forest that opened up to a lake with a small cabin. Isolated. Quiet.

Peaceful.

Immediately you felt your body relax in the new environment. It was so far removed from anything and everything that it allowed you to let go of the tight hold you had on your life. It allowed you to let go of the rage for a moment.

"Sokovia," he answered. "This is mine. When Wanda and I were little, even before the enhancements, our connection was strong and can be overwhelming. I needed a place that was only my own."

"Wanda doesn't know about this?"

"No, it is the only secret I have ever kept from her. I've never brought anyone else here."

Turning to him, you could see the shy smile on his face. There was a reluctance there, as if he was nervous that his little hideaway would not be good enough for you. You were quick to shoot that thought down.

"It's beautiful, Pietro. Thank you for sharing this with me."

His smile brightened as he approached you and held both your hands in his. "We can stay for as long as you want to. I can go into town and get us more supplies. We can swim in the lake if you like and I can cook you paprikash. You'll love it."

He was so excited. So happy to be able to spend time with you. Elated to be able to share this sentimental place with someone else, but he saw the sadness in your eyes and it made him force himself to slow down. The smile on his face dimmed.

"Do you want to go somewhere else? I can take you anywhere you like."

The heartbreak and disappointment in his voice alerted you. You hurriedly wound your arms around his shoulders and forced his eyes to meet yours. You recognized the way he looked at you, but it was only now that you really noticed that he has always looked at you that way. He was so pure. So honest. So good.

He was too good for you.

"No, Pietro. This is perfect. You're perfect." You tried to smile up at him. "I don't deserve you."

Just like that he understood you. He drew you closer by the waist and pressed a soft kiss at the corner of your mouth. When he drew back, his smile lit up his face again.

"Why do you need to deserve me, little star?" he chuckled at the puzzled look on your face, finding it adorable. "Can I not just choose to love you?"

You frowned and he just laughed more. He shushed your protests by pulling you flush against his body, lowering his head to hover his lips mere inches from yours. He left this small distance as your choice to make just as he has made his.

"Let me choose to love you."

You could feel his breath on your face at this distance, see the sparkle of anticipation in his eyes, and his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

You made your choice.

Kissing Pietro has to be the most comforting experience that you had ever felt. He tasted like hot chocolate on a rainy day and you felt your body melt when he returned the gesture. You were sighing against his lips when the now familiar feeling of him dashing turned it into a surprised squeal. You blinked and you were lying down on a soft mattress with Pietro grinning down at you.

You laughed as you shared more kisses, hands giddily exploring each other and tearing away pieces of clothing until nothing lay between you. For the first time in a long time, you felt insecure about your scars. For the first time, you were reluctant for someone to see them. Again, just like that he understood you.

"You're beautiful, little star. You have always been beautiful to me."

He kissed you again, deeply and full of emotion that you melted into the bed. His lips traveled down your neck, your chest, your stomach. He stopped to nip and suck at the inside of your thighs causing you to involuntarily moan his name. Lower he went until his mouth was working gentle swirls on your sensitive bud. Your hips grinded against his tongue, desperately seeking more.

He pressed his mouth fully on you then, adding a finger much to your delight. He ate you like he worshipped you. Like he was blessed with the opportunity to bring you pleasure. Your body sang his praises, reacting with equal enthusiasm by soon reaching your orgasm. You shook beneath him as he allowed you to ride out your high, soothing you with gentle hands rubbing circles on your hips. He was smirking at you when he crawled up, satisfied that he had made you cum but clearly aiming for more.

He kissed you again as he lined himself up against your core, sliding it against your slit to coat it with your slick. He wasn't even inside you yet and you already felt like you were ready to cum. He held your gaze, silently asking for permission that this was still what you wanted. Instead of answering, you moved your hips to slip his length inside causing him to drag out a hiss and capture your mouth again. The groan you both let out when he bottomed out vibrated through your fused lips.

"You feel incredible," he whispered. "You feel so good wrapped around me. Just like I always thought you would."

"Pietro, please."

His strokes were slow and deep, hitting that special spot inside you that had you panting with want. The smooth roll of his hips was quickly driving you higher and higher toward another orgasm. It was so gentle. So sensual. So personal.

"Tell me what you want, little star."

Everything about Pietro's life had been one big event after another. Rushed decisions. Angry fighting. Missions. Even his very enhancement relied on speed.

He didn't want that with you.

With you he wanted to slow everything down. He wanted to savor every moment. He wanted to stop time if he could, keep you in his arms for as long as possible. Freeze you in this exact moment when all you felt was pleasure.

"More," you pleaded.

Maybe he could speed up just a little bit.

His strokes gradually hastened and he glowed with satisfaction at seeing you delirious with desire because of him. He palmed at your breasts, nipped at your neck, and bucked his hips just a bit harder.

"More."

He smiled. How could he deny you? He lifted you up until you were seated on him, holding you firmly with an arm up your back with his hand fisting in your hair. The other hand he slipped between the two of you to rub against your clit. You saw the wicked glint in his eyes before he dipped his head to lave at your breasts.

You felt like you were going to explode from the different sensations. That was until he decided to move your body to bounce on his cock, his own hips thrusting up to meet you and his hand on your back guiding you to wind your hips as you came down. Your clit hit his pelvis each time and another wave was added onto your building climax. You whined, moaned, and pleaded his name. Begging him to grant you release.

“Let go for me. I have you. Let go.“

He growled against your breast and pounded up into you until you screamed and shook above him, clenching him so hard you pulled his own orgasm out of him. He spilled into you, crushing you against him as you continued to flutter around him.

You fought to catch your breath and when you caught each other's eyes, still hazy from lust, you laughed. You felt free. You felt renewed. You kissed him then.

"I love you too, Pietro."

He looked at you with unrestrained adoration. He had been chasing after you for so long that he could hardly believe that he had finally caught you. That he was finally yours.

"What? You didn't see that coming?" you teased.

He chuckled and pulled you in for another lingering kiss. You felt so good in his arms that he has completely forgotten how it felt to not have you in them.

"I meant what I said earlier," he murmured against the skin of your shoulder. "If you want to we can runaway. I can take you away from all of this. We can stay here or we can go anywhere else."

He smiled warmly at you and pecked your lips when he saw the internal conflict flash through your features. Again, without a word he understood you.

"But I know that is not what you want," he reassured you. "I just wanted you to know that you have that choice if you should want it."

Tempting as his offer was, you knew you couldn't let go of Lily's memory. You would never truly be at peace until Salvacion was rotting six feet under and his whole operation was blown to bits. You couldn't leave your mission unfinished. And you couldn't bear to leave four other men behind. Looking back at the events of the past night, it felt more accurate to say five. Still, there was a sense of security from knowing you had that option.

"Let's go home."

------------------------------------------------

A/N: Okay let’s take a vote. Should we forgive Bucky now?

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[btsandvmin]

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child. 

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up “darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him. 

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general. 

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)

[acourtofsnakes]

Kyr’am - Rogue Chapter 5| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader (f)

Summary: Sick of the countless failures, Moff Gideon decides to call in the big guns. 

Warnings: Not many in this one, but mentions of violence(brief), brief mention of suicide, (literally barely touching on it), does another cliffhanger count as a warning?

AN: Ooooooo, new people 👀

As always, credit to whoever owns the gif. I usually find them on Google or Pinterest, so message me if it’s yours ♥︎

Wordcount: About 2184, a short one this time for introduction purposes

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar   @weirdowithnobeardo 

Rogue Masterlist | Introduction| 1: Solus| 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl | 5: Kyr’am | 

Mando’a translation: Kyr’am - Death 

The atmosphere in the light cruiser was… tense. Beyond tense, actually. The tension as almost a living thing, vibrating throughout the room and threatening to explode into destruction if someone said but one thing wrong. 

Moff Gideon stood at the head of the huge table, staring at the holo-image in the middle of it with a look of distinct distaste. His hands were clasped behind his back as he surveyed the image, a young woman wearing a cloak, fire in her eyes and a ridiculously high bounty above her head. His anger and disappointment were evident, obvious to the men and women seated around the table before him. 

There was a break in the air, and then a young woman, Gideon’s Comms Officer and assistant, decked out in the dark grey green uniform walked in. Her even, regimented steps echoed on the floor and she stopped a little way away, offering a quick salute, “Sir, I have just received the report you requested from our spies in the field.”

The air tightened in the room, the people seated around the table holding their breath, hoping it was good. Hoping it wasn’t what had been rumoured. 

Gideon looked away from the table, seeing what his people were holding out for. He turned to his assistant, nodded for her to continue. 

The woman looked across the table, a glint in her eye and a faint smirk dancing across her lips fleetingly. “They got in touch with the contact who was representing you. Apparently, the hunter succeeded in finding the target.”

The collection of people around the table sagged in relief, one even going so far as to rub his eyes as he let out a sigh. 

The assistant couldn’t hide her smirk this time, allowing it for a few seconds, “And then he went rogue.”

Gideon knew this already, but this is a punishment for the people that promised him he’d get what he wanted “Rogue? What do you mean by that, officer?”

“He found the target and began to bring her back as requested. They got into an altercation at another planet, some witnesses said there was a fight in a back alley and the last they saw was the target dragging the hunter back to his ship.”

The table was still, dread beginning to curl around the room like a snake, twining around feet and legs and flicking out a tongue to taste the danger that lingered on the horizon. 

“And then?”

The assistant’s voice came out clear, almost disinterested, “And the next thing that we have, is the tracker and puck being destroyed. As of half an hour ago, no one knows where they are.”

Gideon dismissed her then turned to the table. He sighed, looking at the man who had recommended the Hunter this time, “’The best there is.’ That is what you told me, captain. ‘He’ll have her within a week and be back here to collect his reward.’ Well, captain, it’s been a week.” He spread his hands, his eyebrows raising in a mock expression of wonder. He looked around the room, then back at the captain, “Where is she? Are you hiding her under your seat?” 

The captain swallowed harshly, a sheen of sweat crawling over his skin. He kept his hands under the table because they were shaking, “N-no, sir.”

Gideon shrugged, that false wonder still in his voice too, “Then where is she? I took a great risk in following your advice. And it hasn’t paid off.”

“Sir, please! I didn’t know this would happen. I thought the bounty on her would be enough to keep him straight. My sources said he was running out of money, that he was exchanging favours instead of credits for the repair of his ship. He couldn’t have turned that money down. I don’t know what happened, maybe she tricked him. Used her power to-“

Gideon’s hands slammed onto the table, echoed only by his snarl, “Enough.”  

The captain cut off, unable to stop the pitiful whimper. No one moved, no one looked at him. They all knew what was inevitably coming. 

Gideon pointed at the pain, “Don’t you dare try to make a fool of me. It’s on your authority that this has gone wrong again.” He straightened up, “Every single one of you is to blame. Each one of you let me down. You will be punished. As it is, I have found other means. Expensive means.”

A lady lifted her hand, trembling. 

Gideon’s eyes slipped to her, his eyebrows raising just slightly. 

The lady swallowed, “Everyone knows she hasn’t used that power since she was a child. As far as we know, it doesn’t even exist in her anymore. I.. what’s the point?” 

Gideon looked at her, his dark eyes simmering but he said nothing. 

Only for a man across from the captain to speak up, “She’s right. They say if one of those types doesn’t use their power, they forget how to wield it. The Child repressed his powers for decades.”

Gideon was impatient now, waved his hand dismissively, “And then used it repeatedly in presence of the Mandalorian. It can come back. I have proof that it has. She used her power to heal him.”

“But, sir, we don’t know that-“

The atmosphere in the room noticeably shifted again. This time, the danger became something so much more. 

It became a truly living thing that pressed against the traitors around the table. It licked down their bones, caressed their minds but it sung a song of death and destruction. 

The door slid open, and then a figure walked into the room. 

He was clad head to toe in black, a black so dark it seemed to suck the light of the room. 

His tall, lithe body was armed with weapons of every variety, everything one could possibly imagine and more that were only rumoured, weapons that had been made just for him. 

He stalked into the room with all the ease of a predator walking into the den of some small, helpless animals. And relished in the sheer power he had without even trying. 

The harsh lighting of the room glinted off the blade sheathed down his back. The scabbard was engraved with symbols, symbols that had long since been used. The hilt was as black as his outfit, and intricately carved. If he had unsheathed it, the blade would have been as deep as obsidian, and so sharp it could have sliced off someone’s hand with a mere whisper. 

He stopped at the opposite end of the table to Gideon, shoulders back, posture tall and at ease, but coiled beneath the surface, waiting to strike. 

A hood covered his face, gold embroidery picked out by the lights and snaking around the edges of the hood. 

No light pierced the shadow that fell over his face, keeping him anonymous.  

Clearly the captain realised he wasn’t getting off this ship, because he suddenly broke the deathly silence by laughing. “Seriously? Is it dress up day or something?” He looked around the room at the horrified expressions looking back at him, “What? Are we supposed to be scared or something?” His arrogance was barred by the sweat pooling into the neckline of his uniform, the frantic pulse at his throat.

The night-clad figure said nothing. Merely rested his gloved hands on the table. A simple act. 

But the air in the room vibrated, a warning. 

Gideon inclined his head toward the figure, “Thank you for coming. You understand that I would have left your services be if these fools hadn’t failed me.”

The cloaked man nodded once, a slow incline of his head that somehow said everything he needed to. That he wouldn’t even have paid attention otherwise. 

Another woman at the table, a general, inquired quietly, “His services, sir? Does this mean-“

“Yes, General. It does. Never in my life have I been so spectacularly let down by a group of people before. You were supposed to the best in your fields, yet you couldn’t give me one tiny little girl.”

The woman swallowed, nodded and looked at the table in submission. 

Again, the Captain added another nail to his coffin, “You’re giving this freak the job? If we couldn’t find her, if even Trandoshans and Troopers and two Mandalorian’s can’t get her, what makes you think he’s qualified?” He stabbed a finger toward the figure, who remained silent, a predator watching their next mean. 

Gideon glared at him, losing his patience with this captain, “Because he is the best there is.” 

A snort from the foolish captain, “Oh? And why would you bring him in just now? Why not before?” 

Gideon’s glare could have cut through metal, his words clipped, “Because he has a very unique skill set that I would rather not be associated with using. However, because of this situation and the necessity of obtaining her, it makes him the most qualified.”

“Skill set? Like what? Is he going to bed the girl and then drag her in? Or does he have a-“

The captain’s words were cut off with a gurgle, and his eyes went wide. His chair pushed back and then he was rising from his seat, as if pulled up by strings. Every limb of his body was frozen, rigid. Like he was no longer in control. 

The figure had finally moved, lifting one of those gloved hands in a gesture that was almost casual. He tilted his head within his cloak, and a voice like silk slipped out, far too soft, far too seductive to belong to anyone good, “Perhaps you’ve been living under a rock and you’ve simply never heard of me.” His voice was crooning, desirable. It belonged to the deepest pits, full of monsters and creatures. It was the very darkness that plagued you, seduced you in a voice like honey – and then devoured you. 

Undiluted terror dawned on the captain’s face. He flinched, twitching, trying to claw at the invisible hold on his throat that was slowly crushing his windpipe. 

The cloaked figure lifted his head, like he was scenting the fear oozing from the captain. 

This man was a dark legend. A rumour that you had to be crazy to whisper, for fear of unleashing his dark wrath upon the speaker. Many, many people had heard the rumours of a hunter so precise, so ruthless that he left no trace. People went missing, and then showed up days later completely unrecognisable, bodies so destroyed that even the most advanced robots couldn’t extract enough DNA to give the victims a name. 

His work wasn’t messy though, that’s what made him so terrifying. 

It wasn’t just clean and efficient. It was beautiful. This was a man that relished in his skillset, lived for the hunt and the kill. Breathed it. It ran through his veins, worked the muscles of his heart. 

The fiercest warriors had dropped to their knees and wept for their lives before him. Mere mortals had died just from the sight of him.

As soon as he got the scent of someone, they may as well have ended their own lives to spare the pain. 

Many had. And it still didn’t stop him from finding the bodies and playing.  

The rumours also whispered that he wasn’t human. That he had sold his soul but even the vilest of monsters hadn’t wanted it. They’d taken one look and given it back. He wasn’t born by the Maker; he was something else entirely. He had no trace of soul in him aside from the Force, which he had twisted and utilised for his formidable beauty and indescribable actions.  

Gideon watched him play with the Captain, “You will receive the payment on her head and more. We know your prices and are grateful for your services, you may have whatever you need to assist you.”

The man flicked a finger and the Captain dropped to the ground, some guards dragging him away, “Just stay out of my way. You can keep the kid and the Mandalorian, but the girl is mine when you’re done with her.” The possession in his voice when said the word, “mine” sent a chill down the spines of everyone in the room. There was no room for disagreement, for challenge. They would finish what they needed to do with you, and then you would be given to him. Probably wrapped in a bow. 

Then he was gone, walking out of the room in a preternatural silence. 

This man… he didn’t just exude fear. He was fear. His were the eyes in the dark that watched you walk home.  He was the voice that whispered when no-one else could hear. His breath was the kiss of ice that licked down your spine when you were alone, making you lock the doors, pull the bed covers up higher. But he was like smoke, he seeped through the cracks, through carefully built defences and invaded, slumbering like a beast within, without his host even realising. 

He was death. 

And he was coming for you. 

Previous chapter| Next chapter

[bluegarners]

His parents made it a point to remind him that they’d catch him should he ever fall.

If not them, then someone else would be there to break it. A spotter. A support. A safety net. Someone, something, would always be there to help if he ever felt the bars slipping from his grasp.

Chalk was important. Layers and layers of dusty coatings applied to every little crease, every fine line, every knuckle, finger, palm, callus, blister, pore, everywhere. 

Sometimes, wrappings were good too. Just a little extra cushion for the days where his hands were a little too sore or his calluses were just a little too fresh to really hold him the way he so needed them to. 

They all had their own chalk pouch. His mother carried one in bright pink, his dad liked yellow, and little Richard Grayson adored red. Spelled out in scratchy sharpie, his name in bold blocks, and familiar, straw weight against his right hip. 

Of course, they couldn’t carry it with them during performances. It didn’t match the aesthetic, canvas bag against sparkly and flashy costumes that screamed look at us, look how graceful we are. So buckets, carefully hidden behind the sky scraping pillars, of white powdery chalk was where they would re-dust, clap and rub, and leap out to catch the swinging bars before them.

It was a game they played together, this strange sort of trust-fall. Because even if the chalk failed them despite numerous applications, or if the wrappings just couldn’t cut it, there was always a reaching hand, a searching and promising grasp to hold onto when ones own failed.

Trust was something they all had to rely on with every single nerve of their beings. Trust that the ropes would not break. Trust that their grips were tight enough. Trust that the next flip would go smoothly. Trust that their hard work at practice would translate into their performances. Trust that, even without a safety net, they could grow wings in the air and fly without fear.

Trust that, even if their wings are clipped, someone else would be there to help them back up to fly again.

Of course, it wasn’t like Dick was ever expected to make the grab should one of his own parents flail during their flights. He was too little, too weak, to truly put much trust into his small hands. Yes, he was strong for his age, strong for his body, but there was a difference between swinging and trusting to hold up yourself, and supporting yourself and almost two hundred extra pounds.

He made that distinction during a practice when he was eight. 

The world is different when you’re young and inexperienced and still full of bright aspirations and enormous dreams too big to fit inside such an underdeveloped head. He was invincible at the mere age of eight, strong enough to lift Zitka (but choosing not to because she would be scared if he did) and the belief that should the time come, he could easily carry his mom to safety. 

He’s upside down, just with the crooks of his knees squeezing the thin bar, and his mother is swinging towards him, looking at the bar to Dick’s right and she let’s go a second too soon. She’s a few inches off, too short, too far away, for even her fingertips to grasp the hard plastic, and Dick is watching as her arms stretch and fail to make connection. She’s falling. She missed.

So, Dick does what he does without a moment of hesitation. After all, he’s confident enough in himself to keep hold of the bar with his knees and keep a firm grasp on his mother’s wrists. His dad doesn’t even know what he’s talking about; it’s not like Dick is going to hurt himself. He’s strong. Super strong. And he’s good at what he does, he’s good at the trapeze, he’s good at flying, so what’s a little extra weight? Anything for his mom, really.

His hands are covered in chalk, like they always are, and he just got a new callus under the ridge of his finger-line, so he’s so sure, so confident, at being able to catch his mom. 

He smiles, because that’s what he does, and encircles his moms falling wrists with his small fingers and his mom gasps and has the word NO forming on her lips and then-

Dick’s hold on the bar jerks, weakens, and his legs release out of surprise. His shoulders hurt, pulled pulled pulled down from gravity, the weight of his mom, the weakness of his body, and two Graysons plummet from the air with all the grace of birds shot down.

It’s just practice though.

They land in the safety net.

But his mother is scrambling frantically over to him and all Dick can do is stare down at the straw floor through the tiny holes of the net and cry because his arms hurt and he has bruises on his inner knees and he fell. 

Dick has never been scared of falling before. Not in the normal sense at the least because it was a part of his life. Things like this happen. Sometimes the timing isn’t right or the body isn’t prepared enough and you just fall.

However, things changed after that. Eight year old Dick Grayson learned with a clarity that would never be dampened that he could’ve killed his mother that day. That his weakness, his inability to catch her, to hold onto her, to hold onto the damn bar, could’ve killed them both. It would have been all his fault. He would’ve killed his mom.

And then a year later, Dick learns that it doesn’t matter how much you prepare, how much chalk you have on your hands, how strong you are, how many times you practice, how often you pray and hope and believe that things will go right, if someone else is holding the gun. If someone else destroys the net. If someone else is watching to see birds fall in the dirt.

Because, really, it was his turn next. His turn next to grasp his own swinging bar and join his parents out in the spotlight. He had a hand on the hard plastic, dusted and covered in chalk and with a steady grip formed from years and layers of thick skin and strength he’s managed to work with, and he’s waving to the crowd, eyes on his parents and he sees it happen.

The line snaps. 

His father’s grip is strong, big, huge hands holding onto his mother’s elegant ankles, and her own hands are yellowed slightly from years and years of torn and reformed skin, but they’re falling anyway. 

And Dick still has a grip on his own bar.

He watches them fall, plummet, plunge, collapse, with the knowledge that he could have saved them both if he... if he had just been a little stronger. A little faster. A little more-

But they fall anyway and his eyes track their descent and his hands are still covered in chalk.

It’s not a practice. There is no safety net.

A deep, boiling, and seething hatred forms. A hatred for himself. A hatred for the Grayson tradition of no safety nets just because it looked cooler. A hatred for his weak arms, his weak body, his weak grip. A hatred for all the dangerous things in the world that didn’t want backup plans or thoughts on the what ifs. A hatred for greed. A hatred for lack of control. A hatred for lack of action. 

Mostly a hatred for himself and what he didn’t do, couldn’t do, to save his parents.

And as he grows up, Dick comes to realize that not many people expect to have a safety net should they fall. Most of them just accept their fate, let themselves just fall with their hands close to their chests in a strange sort of prayer that screams, I’m falling because no one is going to help me.I’m falling because there is nothing below and no one to hold onto.

So Dick trains and trains and trains. He bleeds and wipes it off. He loses feeling in his palms and fingers and shakes it away. He strains his muscles and strengthens every aspect of himself and gets up to do it again the next day.

He starts with just hanging, for hours at a time, just hanging onto a pole with nothing but his hands to keep him there. He hangs until his shoulders are screaming and his hands are aching and his fingers are numb. And then he adds weight the next day, straps five pounds, ten pounds, twenty, thirty, more onto his legs and continues to hang there, readjusting and gripping and holding tightly.

And then after that, after his shoulders are strong and his hands are so hard with calluses and welts and bruises, Dick begins to swing with the weight. Slowly at first, constantly shifting to accommodate the ever moving additions. Sometimes with chalk, sometimes with wraps, and other times without. Day in and day out, he swings and adds even more weight. 

He graduates into hanging with one hand, to swinging with one hand, and then switching so he’s upside down and is holding with his legs and gripping the weight with his hands instead. It’s constant, monotonous, necessary.

Dick is twelve when he swings upside down with the weight of his mother in his hands. His grip does not falter, he does not fall, and Dick continues to swing even through the broken sobs.

Too late, too late.

When he’s seventeen, on the cusp of yet another fight with Bruce and the ever mounting rage that keeps clawing at the back of his head (because why can’t Bruce understand he practices so hard because he can’t lose another parent? can’t lose, can’t fail another person because he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t fast enough to hold on tight and keep them from falling) Dick swings with the combined weight of his deceased parents without his shoulders nearly popping out and his hands trembling against the ropes that carry pounds and pounds of sand.

He’s done it. Proved to himself that it is possible, it could have been possible, to save them all those years ago. To pull them from the air as they fell and guide them back to the safety of a pillar, the safety of another line, another bar. But, he’s too late. Always too late. Eight years too late.

But he’s determined. Always has been. Stubborn, what his dad used to tell him. Obstinate. Mulish. 

If he couldn’t save his parents, he’ll be damned if he can’t save anyone else from falling. He’ll be the person everyone can fall back on. To expect. To catch them. He has to be. This is what he trained for after all. To be the very thing his parents lacked, what he lacked, that night so many years ago.

He gains brothers, sisters, friends, comrades, family. Most importantly, he gains trust from them all, and that’s what all of this is.

A trust-fall.

So he has no excuses now. He can’t blame his body. Can’t blame his grip. Can’t blame chalk or wraps or sweat. He cannot blame a single thing should he fail because they trust him to catch them. They trust him to be their safety net. 

The last Grayson is the thing many Graysons lived without. He is the thing that saved his mom when he failed to do so. He is the thing his brothers rely on when their grapple lines fail them. He is the thing his friends believe in when everything around them is falling apart. He is the thing that catches those who can’t hold on any longer.

Dick has his father’s broad hands and his mother’s thin wrists. 

But the intensity of his grip is all his own.

[shijiegongzi]

烛霞 Candleglow (ft. the fakest blood you’ll ever see.)

因思镜中霞, 不负沈雪烛

After not touching my wip for a year, I was bestowed a dream by the oc gods and got inspired to draw this series depicting my two main ocs’ story. More details and Chinese translations at the bottom.

Story behind Candleglow

5 years ago, Si Jingxia wakes up within a sealed black coffin with no memories at all—not even of his own name—except for one person: “niang-niang.” 

5 years ago, Denghua Pavilion fourth disciple Shen Xuezhu is ordered by the Emperor to escort a black coffin with no known origins. Scaring years off her life, an “Undead Youth” emerges from the coffin, insisting that she’s some “niang-niang.” 

~~~~~

As Denghua Pavilion gains political power (including receiving permission to take Si Jingxia in as a disciple), jealous officials frame the sect for scheming to overthrow the royal family. Denghua Pavilion is brutally massacred by the Emperor; not a single person lives, except for Shen Xuezhu. 

5 years after her sect’s wrongful massacre, Shen Xuezhu still works tirelessly to clear Denghua Pavilion's name. While unraveling the web of lies that destroyed her sect, Shen Xuezhu discovers a shocking conspiracy spanning millennia: she's not only the body double for the late Empress but also the keystone piece of her grand scheme. Together with Si Jingxia, Shen Xuezhu hunts for the full story explaining the unexpected connections between herself, her sect, and the forgotten Empress. 

Drawing 2: Flickering

When the late Empress’ enemies arrive to silence Shen Xuezhu and Si Jingxia, Shen Xuezhu follows the first thought that comes to her mind: protect him. Like a flickering candle, Shen Xuezhu knows she nears death. 

Drawing 3: The Way Home

Ten years ago when Shen Xuezhu’s shifu first welcomed Si Jingxia to Denghua Pavilion, she gifted him a sword-shaped hairpiece that granted him access to the pavilion gates. Shen Xuezhu eagerly said to him, “Welcome home.” 

When Shen Xuezhu dies, Si Jingxia buries her with the same hairpiece. This way, she can find her way home.  

Drawing 4: I Finally Avenged You

"After you left, I became your shadow":

All his life, Si Jingxia has lived as a shadow. Before, it was niang-niang’s shadow: past Si Jingxia religiously wore a pair of dark blue ribbons and golden clips in his hair because they were gifted to him by the Empress to match hers.

Just as Shen Xuezhu helps him walk out of his past, she dies. Grieving and bloodthirsty for revenge, Si Jingxia begins living as her shadow. He replaces his hair ribbons for her armor and takes on her resolve to bring justice to every person who ever harmed Denghua Pavilion. For some, that means exposing their wicked corruption; for others, that means merciless killing. The last person is himself. 

"Let me preserve your memory":

Devastated at Si Jingxia's self-destruction, ghost Shen Xuezhu wears his robes to preserve what is truly him. (See detail 4 for further explanation).

Drawing 5: Daybreak

The words may stop, but the story continues. A new day begins, a new dawn arises. 

Drawing 1: Candleglow

Mutual redemption, mutual destruction (相互救赎，相互毁灭): While Shen Xuezhu helps Si Jingxia come to terms with his miserable past, Si Jingxia helps her heal from losing her sect. At the same time, each person is intricately connected with the others’ suffering and downfall. 

Details

Si Jingxia lacks identity not only because he's amnesiac but also because he's always lived as someone's shadow. Hence, apart from the sword-shaped hairpiece, past Si Jingxia and current Si Jingxia do not share any accessories or clothing.

Si Jingxia crosses his robes left over right because he's technically dead (traditionally, only dead people’s robes are crossed left over right). 30 years ago, the Empress fed him a pill to make him die and wake up at a suitable time to continue her scheme. 

Let me be your cloak:  Si Jingxia always gave Shen Xuezhu his cloak to wear, even when she died. Now, like a cloak, ghost Shen Xuezhu envelopes Si Jingxia with her robes.

Ghost Shen Xuezhu’s red wedding robes are the same as Si Jingxia’s light blue robes, except Shen Xuezhu’s are stained red by her blood. 

Ghost Shen Xuezhu and past Si Jingxia hold a red string that links the red strings on current Si Jingxia’s wrist and past Shen Xuezhu’s hair. 

Si Jingxia wears Shen Xuezhu's red hair-strings on his wrist.

The spear that Si Jingxia dies by perfectly lines up with the spear that killed Shen Xuezhu. The two spears pass through both people’s hearts, and both people die in the same kneeling pose.

Ghost Shen Xuezhu protectively holds a bell around Si Jingxia’s neck; she used to wear this bell in her hair because it has calming and pain-relieving powers.

The red cloth on Shen Xuezhu's tombstone is her wedding veil. 

Si Jingxia picked the matching white flowers in ghost Shen Xuezhu’s hair and pink flowers in past Shen Xuezhu’s hair. White is associated with death in Chinese culture. 

Si Jingxia wears the pair of jade pendants that Shen Xuezhu was just about to gift him before she died. Ghost Shen Xuezhu wears her half. 

Drawings 4 and 1 have a path in the snow because Si Jingxia has visited Shen Xuezhu's tombstone so many times.

Spent a ton of time on Shen Xuezhu's hair and armor, so gonna drop a close-up here.

Glossary:

Shen Xuezhu (沈雪烛): Shen 沈 = surname. Xue 雪 = snow. Zhu 烛 = candle. Female main character. 

Si Jingxia (思镜霞): Si 思 = think, Jing 镜 = mirror, Xia 霞 = daybreak/afterglow. Male main character.

niang-niang (娘娘): Refers to the Empress in my story, but is a general way to address noble or royal women. Si Jingxia’s shifu. Exact same appearance as Shen Xuezhu. 

Denghua Pavilion (灯花台): Deng 灯 = lantern. Hua 花 = flower. Tai 台 = pavilion. Shen Xuezhu’s sect. 

Zhu Xia (烛霞): Zhu 烛 = candle. Xia 霞 = daybreak/afterglow. Drawing title. 

因思镜中霞, 不负沈雪烛: Because you think of its glow reflected in the mirror, you don't fail the candle burning in the deep snow. While the 2nd, 3rd, and 5th characters make up Si Jingxia, the last three characters spell Shen Xuezhu. 

Where it all started!!! (8 days/21 hours ago):

[beewolfwrites]

An Iron Box - The Black Envelope

@cheshiya @tenseoyong @szallejhscorner @something-more-original-please @ofsunsetsandpoetries @nek0dzuken @allozaur @hiqhkey @serenzippity

Finally got an update for you all! It only took about a week :’) Hopefully this wasn’t too boring a chapter, but there’s Kuina content, so does that make up for it? 

I will also update the master post too, I promise!

Here’s the AO3 Link. 

Thanks for reading <3

----------------------------------------------------

The black envelope was nothing more than a pointless ritual created by Hatter to fuel his paranoia. But it was almost incredible seeing how many of the executives and militants still obeyed it. Niragi had suggested opening it right then and there, only Aguni refused and decided to leave it until the next day - an unusual choice for someone who should’ve been desperate to become number-one as quickly as possible. 

Perhaps there was more between him and Hatter than he let on. 

I’d invited the others to join me in my room to go over the plan, and as expected, Kuina was the first to arrive. From the moment she closed the door behind her and jumped onto my bed, it became apparent she still hadn’t let go of our conversation this morning. 

‘You,’ she said pointedly. ‘Did you really think I’d have nothing to say about what you told me earlier?’ 

I sank into a chair by the window. ‘What I told you isn’t any of your business.’ 

‘Uh-uh. That’s bull and you know it. She’s our friend…well, she’s my friend, god only knows what she is to you. If you’re going to hurt her it’s absolutely my business.’ 

Hurt her? That simply wasn’t possible. If anything, nothing would ever change beyond what it is now, and the one who gets hurt wouldn’t be her. The thought made me smile. 

‘I have no intention of it.’ 

Kuina drummed her fingers on her knee. ‘Why do I not believe you?’

‘I don’t care about romance,’ I replied. ‘And what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.’

At this, Kuina’s fingers stilled. ‘You mean, you’re not going to tell her?’ 

‘Of course not.’ 

‘You can’t do that, Chishiya,’ she said. ‘You just can’t.’ 

‘And why not?’

She slapped her hand on the bed. ‘Because that is hurting her.’ 

That’s ridiculous. Telling her would only push her further away. 

Before I could respond, the door cracked open. We had a guest. Arisu shyly stepped inside, Usagi and (name) shuffling in behind him. 

‘Just in time.’ I gestured towards the chairs and the couch. Arisu and Usagi took two of the chairs, while (name) seated herself on the end of couch closest to my seat. ‘Kuina, make sure the door’s shut properly.’ 

‘It’s shut.’  

Her voice was clipped, and the way she was pouting was simply childish. She could try and make a point all she wanted. What I had confessed to her would stay a secret, whether she liked it or not. I reached into the drawer of a side-table and pulled out the walkie talkies I had collected weeks ago. 

‘I’m sure you’ve already guessed this, but Hatter didn’t come back from his last game.’ The statement was meant for Kuina, Usagi and (name), as Arisu had already witnessed the body, however nobody seemed shocked by the news. ‘The militants are saying that he was shot in his game, but his body was actually discovered floating in the river by one of the supply runners.’ 

‘Wait,’ Usagi cut in. ‘How do you know about his body?’ 

I could’ve done without her skepticism, but she was the key to Arisu’s cooperation. ‘The supply runner told An in secret after our meeting, and I just happened to be nearby. Either way, Hatter was ambushed and shot, and Aguni is now the Beach’s new leader.’ 

The room fell silent, until Arisu whispered, ‘It’s just like you predicted.’ He ran his fingers along his mouth, rocking gently in his seat. ‘This plan of yours, you’re thinking of doing it tonight, right?’ 

‘Tomorrow,’ I corrected him. 

I passed the walkie talkies around one by one, savouring the warm brush of skin as I placed (name’s) in her palm. I could tell from the way she leaned in that she was struggling to keep up with the conversation, and though it was her own fault for not trying hard enough to study Japanese, I still found myself slowing down while talking. 

‘The playing cards,’ I explained, ‘they’re kept in a safe hidden somewhere in the royal suite. Nobody knows the passcode except the current number-one. But because there’s always chance that the number-one could die in a game, the code is also kept in a black envelope. The black envelope is only opened when there’s a new number-one.’ 

Even if we used Arisu to find the location of the safe, we wouldn’t know whether the code was correct or not until the moment itself. I had a few theories about what the code was, but it all depended on Aguni’s reaction during the ceremony. 

‘There’ll be a meeting tomorrow,’ I clarified, ‘and Aguni will open it in front of all the executives.’ 

‘It’s only read by the number-one, right?’ (name) asked.

‘That’s right. But as for the safe itself, Arisu will be the one to infiltrate the royal suite.’ 

Arisu sat forward, resting an elbow on his knees. ‘What about the passcode?’ 

Seeing how invested he was, I smiled. ‘I already have an idea about that. I’ll tell you when you’re in front of the safe.’ 

‘You really are cautious.’ His face twisted into a knowing grin - a little ironic, considering the circumstances. ‘Got it!’ 

And now for the others.

I glanced between the three of them, only (name) flinched and immediately lowered her head like an embarrassed teenager. The movement caught me by surprise, however I paid it no mind. 

‘You three will be on the lookout.’ 

Usagi rolled the walkie talkie in her palm and hissed, ‘It’s too dangerous. If we’re found out, we’ll be killed.’ 

I would’ve said something more, but there was no need. Arisu, the ever-loyal puppy, jumped straight in to defend the plan he knew almost nothing about. 

‘It’s fine Usagi,’ he said, echoing the same words I’d spoken during our rooftop conversation. ‘With Hatter dead, there’s no unity at the Beach. This is the only way.’ 

You only believe that because I told you it was the only way. You really are this gullible. 

Knowing I had Arisu convinced was enough for me. Usagi would never be completely swayed, but that’s just who she was. She was far too loyal to Arisu to abandon him and the plan now. And besides, the militants would deal with her later. 

I broke down everyone’s positions; me watching over the executives during Aguni’s speech, Arisu waiting at the end of the hall before heading inside the royal suite, Usagi standing guard outside, and the other two outside the elevator to the top floor. 

It was straightforward enough, and if any of them were suspicious they didn’t show it. At this point, everyone was so desperate to abandon the Beach, they would try anything. Arisu and Usagi eventually left, whispering between themselves. 

I waited for the Kuina and (name) to join them, except neither made a move. Kuina was combing through her braids and messing up my bed without a care in the world. The latter looked even more nervous than before, as though she had a question she was too embarrassed to ask. Some of the details had likely gotten lost in translation, and part of me enjoyed being able to control how much she understood. Another part hated how reliant she was. 

‘Why don’t I go in the royal suite instead?’ 

A cold tension washed over me, as if the empty void I was so familiar with had suddenly dropped open. That wasn’t what I had expected at all. Kuina’s hand slipped out of her braids, her mouth parting. 

‘No,’ I said firmly. 

‘How come?’ She shifted forward in protest, ‘I want to help.’ 

‘If you want to help, you’ll keep out of the way while Arisu finds the safe.’ 

‘Chishiya.’ Kuina’s stern look reminded me of our earlier exchange. Her language skills may have been less practised than mine, but she was vaguely following along, at least enough to criticise me. 

‘But what if I go in there with him?’ (name) suggested. ‘Two people searching are faster than one.’

Was this because I told her and Kuina to stay together? Silly girl. For someone usually so sharp, she was truly incapable of reading between the lines. 

‘If the executives start heading back,’ I pointed out, ‘you won’t be able to understand the others quickly enough.’ It was the best excuse I could come up with. If only she would take it and be quiet. 

Kuina slid off the bed and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ‘It’s better this way, believe me. It’ll look more natural if you and I are together instead of just waiting around on our own. We can pretend we’re talking.’ 

(Name) pulled a face at how things had panned out. If she chose to go behind our backs and swap positions with Arisu there was little I could do to stop her, except perhaps cancelling the plan entirely. However that would raise more questions than it answered, and there wouldn’t be another chance like this. 

Leaving no room for debate, I tried to explain to her that Arisu would be better for the job, but with Kuina’s gentle insistence, she gave up pestering me about it and finally accepted her place in the plan.

‘Fine, fine.’ She raised her hands in mock surrender and stood up wearily. ‘You guys win. I just… I don’t know. I’m kind of tired. I’ll see you both tomorrow, okay?’ 

Hearing those words did little to relieve the unease I was feeling. Kuina’s smile was too fake, and once the door had closed and (name) was out of earshot, I reminded her, ‘You shouldn’t make it too obvious. If she knows about Arisu, she’ll get in the way.’ 

She slid into the chair where Arisu had been sitting, and rubbed her fingers against her temple. ‘This is a nightmare.’ 

A funny choice of words. 

‘We’re in a parallel world playing games to survive,’ I said. ‘This isn’t as easy as a nightmare.’ 

‘It’d be easier if you told her the truth.’ 

Kuina’s obsession was starting to get repetitive, and I was already bored of it. I got to my feet and pulled my hood over my head. The movement seemed to catch her attention, her head snapping up as I walked towards the door. 

‘Hey,’ she called, ‘where are you going?’ 

Fishing my headphones out of my pockets, I considered dropping by a certain room, but after remembering the way she recoiled when I looked at her, I decided better of it. ‘Somewhere where I can get some quiet. Tomorrow, you should go to her room before we start. There’s a chance she could offer to trade places with him.’ 

Kuina started to object, but I didn’t care enough to listen. Her voice silenced as the door closed behind me. In times like this, when my head was crowded and the hollowness was clawing at my mind, all I craved was the silence of the roof. 

----------------------------------------------

As the story went, Hatter had died purely in his game, despite how his body had never been cleaned up, nor the way it had been dumped without a care in the river. And now, the numbers had been re-shuffled, making Aguni the new number-one. At least, that’s what they intended to tell the residents. However, Aguni wasn’t officially number-one until he opened the black envelope. 

One by one, the executives all filed into the meeting room, Niragi lazily stretched out in the seat across from me, and Last Boss leaning against the wall. The former number-two, Kuzuryu, was calm as usual, resting his laced fingers in front of him. He shared a look with Mira who only grinned in return, a little too interested in the ceremony. 

My focus, however, was on the man at the head of the table. 

From the corner of my eye, Aguni drew the envelope closer and pried open the bright red seal. Then he paused. 

Well, isn’t this interesting? 

There was a slight delay where his expression froze, taken aback by the paper before him. His brows drew together, then all at once, as if it had never happened, he folded up the sheet and slid it into the envelope once more. 

Aguni wasn’t a man caught off guard so easily. Whatever he’d seen on the paper was the opposite of what he’d expected. Either the code was more complex than just a set of numbers, or the page contained something different entirely. It was when Aguni took Hatter’s ring and stamped it across the hot wax seal that everything suddenly clicked. 

The wax hardened, leaving behind a mirrored embossing of the word “BOSS”. A mirrored embossing that resembled a set of numbers. 

Hatter really was a paranoid man. 

The passcode was 8022. 

[inmyarmswrappedin]

i am catching up on some of your posts from yesterday and i wanted to add that i don’t think that the remakes have exactly tarnished og skam, but maybe more like watered it down in some viewers’ eyes? a lot of people saw og skam as unique in its format and way of portraying teens along with important topics. but after three years of the same stories being repeated across the remakes, it seems like some people have just gotten tired of those same stories and that then gets translated into people forgetting that they were actually new and unique when just og skam was airing. i don’t know if that makes sense? the stories got wrung dry, honestly. which is why i so wish that the remakes had just used the skam format and told their own stories, so that the universe could expand in terms of who is being represented and also so that og skam could just stand on its own once again.

Hi anon! 🍒 This is an interesting ask (btw thanks for the thoughtful asks you guys have been sending me all this time! I genuinely enjoy not just reading your asks, but giving them a platform and discussing them). I feel you in some aspects, but maybe not others.

I agree that the remakes have watered Skam down for some viewers, but I wouldn't say they have watered down the stories per se. I think it's more, like, for some people Skam is simply a show that drops in clips during the week with yellow timestamps and a lead character. That is all that Skam is and nothing else. But if you've been reading my tumblr long enough, you might've caught discussions about how Skam made use of the illusion of "realism" to actually show idealism and hope. However, for some viewers, Wtfock is just as realistic as Skam even when it is continually cruel and disdainful towards its characters. This is a way in which (certain) remakes have watered down Skam, because Skam had a very specific mission statement and feel and intention, that people don't think it's an essential part of Skam that should be kept throughout the versions. And this also goes for aspects like showing a character's vulnerability, for instance. (@lightsandlostbells explained how that was lost in some remakes because they cast actors who, simply put, were too old and self-aware to convey teenage vulnerability anymore.)

I also feel like Skam was really good at finding very specific and personal moments that hadn't really been shown on mainstream TV before, like Isak taking that gay quiz for instance. That was the first time I saw a gay character do that on a piece of media, and yet soooo many people resonated with it! It's small stuff like Noora losing her shit over the fish cakes, which was such a poignant portrayal of controlling one's intake of food not to lose weight (as EDs are often portrayed on TV), but to have control over something when your life is unraveling. I feel like this kind of scenes came about as a result of the extensive research NRK did before sitting down to write the show, like I genuinely feel they listened to the people they interviewed and sought to be accurate and respectful of their experiences. (However limited by their own views as white feminists/white moderates they were.) The remakes, for the most part, have lost these small moments, because they're more focused on dropping as many clips as possible to keep tags alive, more focused on having lots of things going on, maybe to make up for shorter, less intimate clips.

This is how I feel the remakes have watered down Skam (and tbf, the extent to which the remakes have watered down Skam varies as far as I'm concerned, like I don't place Druck and eskam and Austin with Wtfock, France or Italia, and I don't think anyone will be surprised there). Because I think if the remakes had focused on truth over spectacle, I genuinely feel people wouldn't be as tired nor the stories as wrung dry. I feel like they focused more on telling the story than telling the emotional truth behind the story.

At any rate, I feel like if a story is adapted well, it can be adapted over and over and over. Like, how many versions of Romeo and Juliet are out there? Or Pride and Prejudice? But not every version of these stories is equal, which I also feel was something the wider Skams fandom had issues with facing for a while. Like, it was kind of verboten to like one remake more than another, and even more so to like a remake better than Skam. (And for as much as this ask is all about how the remakes watered Skam down... Here's the thing: Some people like those remakes better anyway. And that's fine!)

You could say, "well, people don't just mainline 8 versions of P&P in a single year, maybe those stories would be wrung dry if people did." And like, while I do think all the remakes try to capture international fandom to a bigger or lesser extent, or at least enjoy the international attention... I also don't think any team is expecting people to watch all 8 versions lol. I don't think all that many people involved with a Skam (whether crew or cast) has watched all 8 versions with all of its seasons. So like, that's on us for feeling like we have to watch everything or we're somehow being unfair to a remake or another. And it certainly doesn't help when stans of a particular remake will be like, "well, you're just looking for reasons to dislike this remake, Sander forgave Robbe so idk why you're still talking about it!!" as if I had some sort of vendetta against the Belgians or some shit.

I do miss Skam (or when Skam was at its best rather, like I don't miss Noora's season lmao, though it had its small moments like I've mentioned), but I also feel like... Maybe the people who enjoy the "watered down" remakes never really enjoyed Skam for all that it was, but only certain elements of it. And like, I can certainly relate to that!! Because I definitely enjoyed certain elements of Skam while not liking some other aspects and liking how the remakes did them more (like, for instance, I MUCH prefer how eskam did Nora/Alejandro over Noorhelm and idc that it's "watered down" Skam and that we don't see as many small moments with Nora G as we did with Noora). And I get that Skam stans (or, like, evak stans, because I truly only see this sentiment about wishing that Skam hadn't been wrung dry from evak stans, sorry, I've never seen it from Noorhelm or Sana stans, and Mohnstad stans seem to be angrier that none of the remake P-Chrises capture Herman's raw sexuality (LMAOOOOOO) than anything else) got to have a fandom without comparisons to other evaks or without complaints that evak was too white, cis and male. Honestly, when people draw certain comparisons between Isak and a remake Isak, I too want to scream. But otoh, without the remakes, I wouldn't have David (or Shay, Jo, Cris, Joana, Eva V, Nora G, Amira N, Lucas R, and many others) so you know... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[vanilla-bean-buttercream]

I Almost Lost the Sixteen-Year-Old

Pairings: N/A Characters: Janus, Patton, Virgil, Logan, Emile, Remy, an OC that you’re going to love to hate Chapter warnings: Emotional manipulation, blackmailing, gaslighting, imprisonment, physical restraints, using someone’s account to message another person, guns, gunshot wounds (doesn’t go into detail tho), blood, hospitals (sort of), vague lung cancer mention, lots of shoulder grabbing, if you’re reblogging on mobile you might have a bad time Word Count: 9,431

Summary:

“You will let Virgil go.”

“Mmm, no, I don’t think I will.”

“You already have leverage over us. You don’t need the kid too.”

“Please, Virgil came to me willingly, and after the way you’ve treated him, I can’t blame him. Threatening a sixteen-year-old with an exploding device, forcing him into the gang through intimidation, threatening him if he doesn’t listen, sending him to dangerous parts of town, and not even caring if he got shot and killed on the job? If all this is true, I’d leave too.”

Janus opened his mouth to argue, but he closed it soon after. Instead, he settled for sighing heavily through his nose and clenching his jaw.

Ao3 Link

==

To Janus’s surprise, they didn’t hear anything from Mara for a week. No emails, no planted microphones, no suspicious letters, nothing. Janus fully expected her to take them down the moment Logan walked into the building. Why would she just leave him go? Did the hacker kid truly delete everything they had on Logan? And if he did, what was stopping Mara from giving the police a “tip” about where Logan was? Janus couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t moving to strike again.

Logan, however, made it a point to avoid Janus whenever he came within thirty feet of him. Whenever Janus would come to Emile’s room, Logan would ignore his gaze and pretend he didn’t exist. When Janus walked down the hall, Logan would turn the other way. He wouldn't even ride in the elevators with him. It was driving Janus nuts. Why he didn’t know, but Logan’s disapproval stung a lot deeper than he anticipated.

Even stranger was that Janus hadn’t heard anything from Virgil in a week. It wasn’t unusual for the teen to disappear for a few days. Janus did allow him free range, and he wasn’t technically part of the gang, so he didn’t need to know where Virgil was, but Virgil always checked in with Janus when he went to an unknown place. Usually, just so Virgil would have a backup if something went south.  

Janus opened his phone for the sixth time. He stared at the last message he sent to Virgil, which was yesterday morning, telling Virgil he had an assignment. Virgil still hadn’t answered. Maybe his phone was dead. No, Virgil took good care of his electronics. Janus started to fear something darker was happening here.

That’s why he had three teams assembled to go out looking for the teen. 

“You, you’re going to check the west side. Make sure that you look in the docks. You, you’re going to the east side. Make sure you take Riley to help translate if you need it. You, you’re going to the north. I know that’s where Virgil’s from, so ask around. Maybe they’ve seen him, especially at Mrs. Callaway’s diner.”

The teams gave a nod and dispersed to start their missions. Janus flopped heavily into his chair, and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Where are you, Virgil?” he mumbled to himself. The office door opened, and Janus didn’t need to look up. He sighed and asked, “Remy, anything?”

“No luck,” Remy grumbled. He flopped into the chair across from Janus’s desk. “It’s like the kid just disappeared. I don’t get it. There’s no security footage, no one saw him leave, nothing.”

“I have a feeling,” Janus started, but he didn’t continue.

“He wouldn’t be that stupid, would he?” Remy asked. Janus snorted, and Remy continued, “Yeah, I guess he would.”

“He was rather angry that I gave Logan over so easily, and you know how he is. That’s why I think we’re looking in all the wrong places.”

“But if Mara has him, why wouldn’t she be using him against us by now?”

“Because there’s nothing tying him to us. He’s just some kid that would’ve showed up to save Logan.” Janus shrugged. “I mean, I could be wrong, but-”

A knock on the door froze both Remy and Janus. Janus looked at the monitor on his desk and sighed through his nose. “Enter.”

Emile opened the door and closed it behind him. His jaw was visibly clenched, and his eyes held such a livid stare in them that Janus got chills.

“Emile,” Janus said as he folded his fingers. “What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“You have someone downstairs to see you,” Emile said, his voice clipped as he restrained himself from yelling. “Now.”

Janus sent a glance at Remy before he stood from his chair. The three men walked out of the office and rode the elevator down. Janus set his shoulders as he entered the lobby, ready to greet whoever ruffled Emile’s feathers so much with intimidation.

He was not ready for Mara to be standing in his lobby, her body wrapped up in a familiar purple patched jacket that very much belonged to Virgil.

“Mara,” Janus said, keeping his voice even and controlled. “To what do I owe a direct visit from you?”

“Oh, Janus,” Mara said, her lips curling up into a smile. “For a minute, I thought for sure you were going to ignore me.”

“What do you want?” Janus asked again.

“Pushy, pushy.” She clicked her tongue. “Whatever happened to a “hey how are you”?”

Janus narrowed his eyes. He watched Mara snuggle into the jacket, her nose taking a deep breath. He swallowed his anger back down his throat. He couldn’t say the same for Remy, who looked three seconds to lunging at Mara and ripping her arms off.

“Do you like my new jacket?” Mara asked. “It’s an old hand-me-down from what I understand. Hand-stitched by a very thankful old lady who had a kitten stuck in a tree.”

Janus put a warning hand on Remy’s shoulder, but he couldn’t stop Remy from yelling, “Where is Virgil, you bitch?”

“Rude,” Mara remarked. She turned her attention to Janus. “Are you going to let him speak to me like that?”

“You know I can't control what comes out of Remy’s mouth,” Janus replied. Still, he sent Remy a warning glance to be quiet and let him be the diplomat.

Mara clicked her tongue and shook her head. “A pity. These people used to fear you when I was here, but I guess you’ve gotten too soft lately.”

“What do you want, Mara?” Janus asked again, a little sterner.

Mara’s eyes glinted. She rolled her shoulders and replied, “I want to know how Logan’s doing. I was awful nice to him, and he repays me by running off.”

Emile spoke up this time, “You mean you forced him to go with you.”

“I never made Logan do a single thing. Janus was the one who decided his fate.” Her eyes flicked to Janus once again. “He was the one who traded your kid, not me.”

“Logan is not your concern anymore,” Janus responded.

“Can’t I just say I liked the kid? He’s bright and has a future ahead of him, unlike you three. Because, you know, that information I have-”

“No, you don’t.”

“I don’t?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard? It was deleted-”

Mara held up a flash drive in her hand and waved it. Her eyebrow quirked, and her lips pulled into a smile, “You mean, these files? The ones that my hacker was so nice to download into his computer, and then I copied because I know how morally stupid he is and would probably delete it once he talked to Logan? You really think I would leave all my playing cards in the hands of a fourteen-year-old kid?”

Mara threw the USB into the air. Janus caught it in the palm of his hand and stared at it.

Mara continued, “You didn’t let me finish. You know that information I have doesn’t include anything about Logan, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s not worth using him against you. Too much work. Give it to Logan for me, would you? Tell him he can keep this copy as a souvenir if he likes, or just delete the files off of it to make himself feel better. I don’t care. Just know that you all aren’t as ahead of the game as you think you are, and I'm already bored of playing that game. As far as I’m concerned, I already won anyway.”

With that, Mara turned on a heel and walked toward the front door.

“Now wait a minute,” Remy snapped. Mara paused at the doorway but didn’t turn to face him. “Where is Virgil?”

“Who?” Mara rose a brow.

“You know damn well who I mean.”

“I honestly can’t say I do.” Mara did turn this time, a wide grin on her face. 

Remy moved before Janus could stop him. He grabbed onto the sides of Virgil’s jacket and pulled Mara close until he was inches from her face. Mara didn’t look shaken whatsoever. In fact, her grin seemed to widen.

“Well, maybe I might know who he is if you jog my memory. Hmm, let me think. Virgil. Would he happen to be about my height, wears eyeshadow to make him look dead, thinks emo music is a personality trait, that Virgil? I might have seen him around.”

Remy curled his lip. 

Mara looked over at Janus, a fake pout gracing her lips, and continued, “Janus, are you going to let him treat me this way? I’d hate for my team to find out that I was hurt here. They might try to get even.”

“Remy,” Janus growled through his teeth, “let her go.”

“You can’t be serious-”

“Drop her.”

Remy dropped Mara like she burned him and backed up. His eyes never left her, and neither did his angry expression. Mara straightened out Virgil’s jacket and sighed through her nose.

“Thank you for being a gentleman for once,” she shot. Remy stiffened at the insult, and this time, Janus spoke up.

“You will let Virgil go.”

“Mmm, no, I don’t think I will.”

“You already have leverage over us. You don’t need the kid too.”

“Please, Virgil came to me willingly, and after the way you’ve treated him, I can’t blame him. Threatening a sixteen-year-old with an exploding device, forcing him into the gang through intimidation, threatening him if he doesn’t listen, sending him to dangerous parts of town, and not even caring if he got shot and killed on the job? If all this is true, I’d leave too.”

Janus opened his mouth to argue, but he closed it soon after. Instead, he settled for sighing heavily through his nose and clenching his jaw.

Finished with the conversation, Mara excused herself to the door. However, she did call out over her shoulder, “Though, I’m not opposed to convincing him to come back if the right price is given. When you’re ready to trade with me, let me know.”

With that, she walked out of the rotating door and disappeared into a black car.

“Fucking god damn it,” Remy screamed as he threw his sunglasses onto the floor. Miraculously, they didn’t shatter. He pressed his palms into his eyes and took a deep breath through his teeth. “I knew it. I knew she had him.”

“We can’t just leave him with her,” Emile chimed in. “Janus, we have to do something. He could be hurt, or worse-”

“I’m thinking,” Janus hissed. He took his hat off and scratched his fingers through his hair. After a moment of thought, he turned and hit the elevator button. “I’m going to call off the search parties. If she really does have Virgil, I need to come up with some sort of plan to get him back as unharmed as possible, which is going to be delightfully challenging.”

“What about Logan? Are we going to tell him-”

“No. Neither of you are to mention this to Logan or anyone else. I do not want any other stupid reckless acts of heroism, do you hear me? None. Even from you two.” 

Janus dropped the flash drive and stomped on it with his heel until it broke. Remy and Emile glanced between each other but didn’t comment further. Janus waited for the doors to slide open and stood inside. After the doors shut, he sagged against the elevator and let out a long breath.

“Lord help me, Virgil,” Janus mumbled. He covered his face with his hands. “If you’ve gotten yourself hurt I’m never going to forgive you for this.”

--

For another week, Janus deflected any questions about Virgil. As far as Janus let on, he brushed the kid clean from his hands. Virgil went back to living on the streets, and Janus let him without a fuss. Janus explained that he forgave Virgil for his past actions, and the teen was free to live his life in peace without being called in by the crime boss ever again.

Not that everyone bought it, but he tried.

The twins were a particularly hard sell. They would constantly ask questions as to why their favorite babysitter just disappeared at the drop of a hat. Remus took it surprisingly harder than Roman. In fact, Remus’s ticks started to act up again, and Janus suspected it had to do with thoughts of finding Virgil dead on the street.

Logan still avoided Janus at every turn, but from what Emile told him, Logan asked a lot of questions about Virgil’s whereabouts. Apparently, he couldn’t believe someone who was being forced into the gang wanted to leave.

At least, he thought that Logan was avoiding him until Logan stormed into his office. Janus lowered the gun he reflexively pointed at the door, ignoring how Logan nearly dove out of the doorway to get to safety.

“Logan, I believe I’ve warned you to knock,” Janus said with a long sigh. “I would hate to accidentally shoot you.”

Logan peeked out from the wall and straightened his tie. He said, “Yes, I do recall you mentioned it once or twice.”

“So, what do I owe the visit? I thought you hated me.”

Logan twisted his tie in his hands as if all the words he had prepared were escaping and he was trying to hold onto them. Janus rose a brow. After Logan opened his mouth and closed it, he cleared his throat and explained himself.

“I’ve been… keeping in contact with the person who hacked into our accounts.”

The confident grin slipped from Janus’s face, and Janus leaned forward in his chair. “You what?”

“After I escaped, all I’ve wanted to do was release Patton. From what I understood, Mara was holding Patton’s grandmother over him, and I did not think he was there of his own free will. At least, that was my theory. So, I contacted him from the twitter account Virgil had prior messaged him from, and-”

“Wait, wait, you’re telling me that Virgil was messaging this kid?”

“Yes.”

“Logan, how long was Virgil in contact with this kid?”

“From what I understand, a few days before… uh… the virus took over our systems.”

“I knew it. It was him, wasn’t it?” Janus snapped. He banged his hands down on the table, making Logan jump. “Virgil set us all up.”

“Wait, you’ve misunderstood-”

“No, I think I understand plenty now. Mara was right. Virgil sold us out by planting that virus into our computers and then leaves. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him.”

“Wait, you’re assuming-”

“No, Logan, I’m not assuming anything. Virgil went to Mara’s side. She even came in here to gloat, and I was stupid enough to let him in. I knew it. I said no more kids, and I meant it. You’re all unpredictable, and I-”

“Virgil didn’t install the virus into our systems.”

That caught Janus’s attention. He narrowed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, noticing how Logan would no longer maintain eye contact with him.

“What do you mean, Logan?” Janus asked.

“I… when Virgil left me alone in his room, I caught a conversation he was having with a certain fan of mine, who I later found out to be Patton. Virgil confronted him and said to stop looking for me, and Patton… sent him the virus link. Virgil responded that he wasn’t stupid enough to fall for a trick like that, but I was… curious.”

“Logan, you’re the one who let Patton into our systems?”

“And I regret it, wholeheartedly. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble, and had I known that Patton planted a virus in the link, I would’ve never clicked on it. I’m sorry.”

Janus watched as Logan shrunk deeper into his chair, shielding himself. Shying away. Afraid of what Janus was going to say next. Afraid of what Janus was going to do to him next. Janus let all the tension out of his shoulders and cracked his neck.

“Logan,” Janus didn’t miss the way Logan visibly flinched, “You’re very brave to have told me that.”

Logan’s head popped up, his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it soon after.

Janus continued, “I’ll admit, I’m mad, but I’m not going to punish you for it.”

“You’re… not?”

“No. However, I don’t want any more secrets, got it? If you are in contact with this Patton kid, I want to know about it. I want to see all the messages you’ve sent back and forth, and I want to know if Virgil is really there through his own will or if he’s being held captive.”

“From what Patton has told me recently, he was aware of Virgil’s presence in the building the night he set me free. In fact, he used the guard’s distraction when Virgil entered as a means to get me out. That’s why he stayed behind, as well as realizing that his computer wasn’t the only place Mara had the downloaded information.”

“Alright, so this Patton kid is on our side,” Janus rubbed his chin with his index finger. “We could definitely use a spy on the inside. What is this kid’s goal?”

“Patton said that he merely wants to right the wrongs he’s committed, and he believes that won’t be finished until Virgil is walking free.”

“Good.” Janus stood from his chair. Logan swallowed thickly, but Janus went nowhere near him. He instead opened the door. “Come. We’re both going to Virgil's room to speak to this kid.”

"Now?" 

"Now."

Logan slowly stood from his chair. He hurried past Janus, and Janus closed the door behind them.

--

Cringefest04: Greetings, Patton. I was wondering how you are doing today.

Punstar5000: LOGAN HI!!!! :D <3 <3 <3

Punstar5000: sorrry caps lock :/

Punstar5000: anyway, what’s up? :o

Cringefest04: I would like to know Virgil’s whereabouts if you are able to disclose that information to me. I am aware of how risky it is, but I need to know that my friend is unharmed.

Punstar5000: for you I’d take a bullet

Cringefest04: Please don’t.

Punstar5000: haha jk ;P

Punstar5000: or am I? ;P

Cringefest04: Please, Patton, this is a matter of importance. Be serious.

Punstar5000: okay okay can do got it yeah I was just kidding anyway haha

Punstar5000: but really I don’t know where Virgil is, I’m sorry :(

Cringefest04: Is there any way you would be able to search for him and get back to me?

Punstar5000: hmm idk I could try

Punstar5000: Mara’s mad at me :(

Cringefest04: I’m sorry if I caused you any grievance due to my actions.

Punstar5000: lol no don’t apologize you’re so sexy haha

Cringefest04: I’m unsure of what this means

Punstar5000: nevermind jk :P

Punstar5000: anyway, yeah, I can look around for you and see if I can find Virigil

Punstar5000: *Virigl

Punstar5000: indvcpoiauwepraiuneriah

Punstar5000: *Virgil

Punstar5000: :P

Cringefest04: Thank you so much, Patton. You have no idea what this means to me

Punstar5000: yeah cool cool I’ll get right on that okay see you later lolo <3 <3

--

Patton logged off his Twitter page and ran his hands over his eyes. He leaned back in his computer chair and let out a long sigh through his nose. After looking over his shoulder at a door he was sure was still locked from the outside, he moved through his files to pick up the security footage feed.

So far, fifty-seven of the monitors didn’t show any signs of Virgil. 

Patton pressed his folded fingers to his lips. If Virgil was still here, which Patton didn’t know where Mara could’ve moved him without Patton knowing, she was hiding him very well. He didn’t see or hear anything from Virgil since that night, and it’d been two weeks.

Patton’s eyes darted between monitors. So far, the guards were in all their regular positions. No one was out of place. Patton sighed through his nose and took a swig of his milk. If he wanted to make this up to Logan, he was going to have to dig deeper.

The headphones lifted off his ears, and Patton jumped. He looked up and caught Mara standing over him. A stiff smile spread across his lips.

“Oh, hello,” Patton greeted. 

“Good morning, Patton.” Mara’s smile was soft, too soft. She put the headphones off to the side of Patton’s computer and leaned against the desk. “And what’s my favorite little nerd up to this morning?”

“Oh, uh, just checking on the security monitors for anything strange. You know. The usual,” Patton explained. Mara hummed. She played with the headphone cord between her fingers. Patton continued, “I like your new jacket.”

“Thank you,” Mara said with a smile. “A friend gave it to me.”

“Oh? That’s so nice.”

Mara nodded. She turned Patton’s chair around with her foot so he was facing the door. “Would you mind going for a little walk with me? I want to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, sure,” Patton said as he jumped out of the chair. He brushed the cookie crumbs off his shirt.

Mara walked behind Patton with a hand between his shoulder blades. Patton’s throat dried out. Something was wrong. Something wasn’t right. The last time Mara took Patton out of his room, it was to confront him about what happened to Logan. Patton lost his cookie privileges for a week. Not that it was the worst punishment in his life, but Patton definitely realized everything he had could easily be taken away whenever Mara wanted.

As they traveled along, two men started to follow behind them. All of Patton’s instincts screamed for him to run, but he decided against it. Mara was nice. She wouldn’t lead him into a dangerous trap. Would she? 

Yeah, nice like how she forced Logan to come here. Nice like how she tricked Patton to find Logan and take him out of the protection program he was in. Nice like how she probably still had Virgil around here somewhere.

Mara led him to a room with a passcode (as if that would keep Patton out) and typed in a combination before inserting a special key. The door hissed as it opened. Mara led Patton down a wooden staircase lit by fluorescent light. As they neared the bottom of the stairs, Mara flipped a light switch on and illuminated the new room.

There were no windows and no doors. The room temperature was much colder than it was upstairs, causing Patton to shiver. A concrete floor covered the ground, and the walls were made of thick white plaster.

Sitting in the middle of the floor was a boy shivering in a ratty short-sleeved black shirt. His eyes looked even darker under the high light above him, and he tried to set his jaw into a defensive growl, though his teeth didn’t stop chattering. His hands were cuffed between the chair rungs behind him. 

Mara’s hand came down heavy on Patton’s shoulder, and Patton jumped at the sharp contact. He looked up at her.

“Patton, I’d like to introduce you to Virgil,” Mara explained, “but you might know him better as Cringefest04. Virgil, I’d like you to officially meet Punstar5000.”

Patton’s stomach dropped. He couldn’t swallow the lump rising in his throat. She knew.

Virgil’s eyes narrowed on Patton, and he curled his lip. He snarled, “You were that kid after Logan. You’re the one who got him into this mess.”

“Now, now,” Mara soothed. “It’s not all Patton’s fault. He did succeed in getting Logan out of here, after all, so I guess the little goody-two-shoes is on your side.”

Virgil’s eyes flickered from Mara to Patton, and he sucked in a breath. He watched as Mara’s hand squeezed the back of Patton’s neck, her nails not quite digging into the skin but enough to pinch.

She continued, “But, I can’t have him giving you up too, so I’m just going to have to make sure he doesn’t get in my way.”

The two men following them grabbed both of Patton’s arms. Patton turned his head toward Mara to protest, but the words never left his lips. The two goons pushed him into a chair behind Virgil, bringing his hands behind him and securing them in their own set of handcuffs. Patton pulled to try and free himself, but they already latched the locks on the handcuffs together.

“Please, Mara, I’m sorry-”

“No, you’re not. But you’re going to be.” Mara clicked her tongue. “I had such faith in you, Patton, but here you are hacking into my security cameras and fraternizing with the enemy. You took my kindness and spat in my face. Didn’t I give you everything you asked? Was I not supportive enough?”

“I’m sorry,” Patton repeated again, his eyes lining with ears. “Please, I didn’t mean to make you so mad.”

Mara cupped his cheeks in her hands and brushed the tears away. Her voice dipped into a sugar-sweet, patronizing coo. “Oh, Patton, sweetheart, I’m sure you didn’t. You were just so excited to please your crush you weren’t thinking straight, right? I get it. I would’ve done the same thing.”

Patton relaxed in her grip for a moment. He closed his eyes, letting two tears fall down his cheeks.

Mara continued in a less soothing voice, “That’s why I’m going to break your heart for your own good.”

Mara’s hands left Patton’s cheeks, and she stood, her face twisted into a cold grimace. Patton watched as she walked toward the light to the basement and put her finger on the light switch.

“No, wait, I won’t talk to him again. I won’t-”

“Oh, I know you won't, sweetheart, because, by the time I let you out of here, Logan’s going to hate you both.”

With that, Mara turned the light switch off, leaving both Patton and Virgil in the dark.

--

Cringefest04: Hello Patton. Is there any news on Virgil?

Punstar5000: Hey Logan. I guess I got what I was looking for

Cringefest04: And? I’m sorry to be rude but it’s been nearly 10 minutes since you’ve responded and I’m worried.

Punstar5000: He’s here

Cringefest04: Is he unharmed?

Punstar5000: He’s fine

Punstar5000: But Logan

Punstar5000: Why didn’t you tell me :(

Cringefest04: Tell you what? I’m not sure I’m following your line of logic.

Punstar5000: How awful they were to him there :(

Punstar5000: How they threatened him and locked him up and made him do their dirty work

Punstar5000: I thought this place was supposed to be a good place

Cringefest04: I’m not sure of what you’re talking about. Are you sure you’ve talked to Virgil?

Punstar5000: Eyeshadow, black hair, gray eyes, pretty sure his name is Virgil

Punstar5000: He said he was done working for Janus and wanted to work here

Punstar5000: And that Mara was trying to save you

Punstar5000: How could you lie to me :(

Punstar5000: I trusted you :(

Cringefest04: I’m sorry, Patton, but I’m sure there is a misunderstanding somewhere. Is there any way I can get into contact with Virgil? I still feel as if there’s a piece of the puzzle missing.

Punstar5000: No, you leave him and me alone >:(

Punstar5000: I don’t ever want to talk to you again 

Punstar5000: I hate you >:P

*you have been blocked by Punstar5000*

--

Logan blinked at the screen, wondering if what he read was right. Did he offend Patton somehow? Was there some sort of secret message hidden in it? Why did Patton get so defensive all of the sudden?

Janus leaned over Logan’s- Virgil’s computer chair and hummed. He mumbled, “Well, that was fun.”

“I don’t understand,” Logan responded. He chewed on his lip. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Logan, I think you did everything right.” Janus studied the text on the screen, and he pursed his lips. “Scroll up. I want to read some of your past conversations.”

Logan did as he was told. “I’m telling you, Janus, there is no clue of past hostility and no reason for Patton to behave this way. He and I were on the same page until today. The only thing I can think of is whatever Mara said is true, and Virgil did in fact leave us for her, and if that’s the case, his words may have negatively affected Patton.”

“Scroll back down so I can read what Patton just sent.”

Logan swallowed the bitter bite in his throat. Hadn’t Janus paid any attention to him at all? Nevertheless, he did as he was told with a sigh.

Janus was silent for a second before he mumbled, “I thought so. That’s not Patton.”

“What do you mean it’s not Patton? How can you be sure?”

“Look at the stuff he sent before. Looking over him excusing whenever you made a mistake, the use of emojis and capitalization is different. The stuff just sent now was too serious, too calculated. Also, there’s no typos.”

Logan’s eyes widened as he looked back at the screen. Sure enough, what Janus said was true. There was a noticeable difference between the last messages Patton sent and the ones they received now. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Janus answered, “that Mara knows about you and Patton talking back and forth to each other.”

Panic lit in Logan’s chest. “Do you think she merely messaged me on his computer or it was something else? Would she hurt him? How long has she known?”

“I don’t know.” Janus rubbed his eyes with his thumb and pointer finger until he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Mara was always skeptical of everyone. She has a lot of trust issues, so her nose is always in everyone’s business. Plus, I’m sure she would have her eyes on Patton with what happened to you.”

“Do you think she would harm him?”

Janus shrugged. “Directly, probably not. Mara’s got a thing about abusing kids, just like I do. She might, however, make life a little unpleasant until he starts to listen to her again.”

“And that’s different from child abuse how?”

“Because it’s not abuse if she’s teaching him a lesson, apparently,” Janus said with a shrug. He stood from behind Logan’s computer. “That’s it.”

“What’s it?”

“I’m tired of playing this game with her. I’m going to confront her myself.”

“I’m not sure if that’s wise-”

“What else can I do?” Janus asked a little harsher than he meant. “Mara is making sure that I’m the one who comes for Virgil. And the sick part is, it’s just for her own amusement. She couldn't care less what happens as long as it makes someone miserable.”

“Well, she certainly knows just how to get under your skin then,” Logan mumbled. He looked back at the screen and stared at the block message. His heart ached. “And everyone else apparently.”

“She’s always been good at that. Emotional manipulation was always her favorite game.”

The hidden message in that sentence didn’t go over Logan’s head, and he swallowed the bitterness Janus spat out of his own throat. Janus walked out of Virgil’s room and down the hall. Logan turned back to the computer screen, the words “I hate you” burning into his brain.

Well, it wasn’t the worst thing someone ever said to him.

--

“Stop. You’re gonna scratch your wrists open. Besides, the jingling is giving me a headache.”

Patton stopped and fell against his chair with a heavy sigh. He blinked the tears out of his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. For a moment, the silence almost eased the tension in the room.

“I can’t believe I was this stupid,” Patton mumbled. He let out a long sigh. “How could I let her trick me like this?”

“Eh, don’t beat yourself up too much. You’re not the one who thought he could break into a guarded mansion and break someone out.”

“But at least you were doing the right thing. You knew in your heart that it was the right thing to do. Don’t speak badly of yourself.”

“Well, if I’m not allowed, neither are you.”

Patton grew silent at that. He took in a large breath through his mouth and released it through his nose. He wished he could clean the smudge marks and tear stains off his glasses.

After a few seconds, Virgil continued, “I guess it’s finally nice to meet Logan’s obsessed fan.”

Patton flinched. He mumbled, “I’m not obsessed. Just… I like him a lot.”

“You don’t even know him, Patton.”

“Yes, I do! I know that his birthday is November third and his favorite drink is coffee with a little bit of chocolate and he is allergic to peanuts and he had a pet betta fish named Aurora and his favorite color is navy and his-”

“Yeah, you know facts about Logan Star, but what about Logan? What song does he fall asleep to? Who means the most in the world to him? Where does he go when he’s scared and doesn’t know who to talk to? What’s he like when he’s angry? How long does it take for him to form an answer in his head before he speaks? Did you even know Star isn’t his last name?”

Patton’s silence confirmed Virgil’s answer. Virgil took a deep breath and continued, “I know you like Logan a lot. It’s cool when you can find someone who understands you, you know? But you’re not really in love with Logan. You’re in love with the idea of Logan.”

“I didn’t know there was a difference,” Patton mumbled.

“It’s fine. Not many people do.” Virgil shrugged. He sighed through his nose and said, “You know that feeling when you see a cute dog for sale and decide it’s yours now? That’s kinda how you’re treating Logan. He’s for your entertainment.”

“No,” Patton shot back, “that’s not at all why I like Logan! I like how his nose wrinkles when he makes a mistake, and how he smiles at all the end of his videos, and how he always asks how I’m doing at the start of a video, and-”

“So you like him because he makes you feel good.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, valid. Very valid. But what happens when Logan says he doesn’t like you?”

“Well… I guess I’d be crushed.” Patton sighed. “I don’t want to think about that.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“No, why, Patton?”

Patton hesitated for a minute. “Because I… I like him too much to find out he hates me.”

Virgil sighed through his nose. He thought for a few minutes before he switched tactics. “Alright, say I’m you and you’re Logan. I start messaging you about how much I love you and that I’ve been looking for you and I know things about you that you never wanted to share online. How would that make you feel?”

“Flattered.”

Virgil let his head tap against the back of his chair. “Okay. Uh, you know what? Nevermind. I’ll just… let’s talk about something else.”

“Like what?”

“Well, how about a little about you. Why are you here with Mara?”

“Oh! Uh, well she asked me to look for Logan for her.”

“And you agreed because you wanted to find Logan too.”

“I wanted to make sure he was okay. He just disappeared off the face of the earth, and his parents were telling everyone how much they missed him and how they couldn't believe someone would do such a horrible thing and… I believe every word of it.”

“See? Not everything you see is true. Sometimes people put on an act.”

Patton didn’t comment on that. Instead, he continued, “I was trying to find jobs to help pay for my, uh, my grandma because she’s really sick right now. She’s in the hospital because her lungs are failing.”

“Shit, dude, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. She smoked for a long time, so she knew it was coming. But the insurance isn’t covering much, so we’re in a lot of debt right now.”

“What about your parents?” 

“Well, I never met my dad. He got my mom pregnant when she was seventeen, and he didn’t want anything to do with me. My mom had me by choice. But, she found it was hard to support me and herself, so she gave custody to my grandma so I could have the best life I could. Then, my... my uh, my… grandpa! My grandpa got transferred to an American company, and we all moved here. It was hard to say goodbye to my mom, but we chat a lot online.”

“So what about your grandpa? What’s he doing now”

“He’s doing everything he can, but it’s still not enough. He has to choose between groceries and paying rent a lot, and we can’t leave because of my grandma’s condition.”

“And that’s when you met Mara, who happened to give you everything you wanted.”

“Yeah. She even offered to take me in so my grandpa wouldn’t have to worry about feeding me and stuff. She made it so easy for us. And she started paying for my grandma immediately, even getting her a better doctor and… and I’m so afraid now that I made her mad that she’s going to stop, and I can’t… I don’t want… I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry.”

“Hey, Patton, it’s okay. You’re scared, I get it. I’d be pretty scared too.” Patton hummed in response. “But Patton, it’s not your job to help your grandparents. You’re only fourteen years old-”

“But I can help them. I’m not a kid.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you should.”

“I just can’t afford to sit around and watch them, Virgil. It’s my problem too. They’re my family. I had to do something.”

Virgil snorted. “There’s no arguing with you, is there?”

“Like Vovó says, I’m not letting the shuttlecock fall.”

“I… don’t think I’ve ever heard a phrase like that, Pat.”

“Oh, uh, maybe that’s because it’s a Portuguese saying and not an English saying.”

 Virgil tested the bonds around his wrist, still unable to slip it over his thumb. He sighed through his nose and shook his head. “I don’t suppose you have something to pick a lock with, do you?”

“Um,” Patton thought for a moment. “Wait, wait! I might! Can you pick a lock with a bobby pin?”

“Sure can.” He paused. “Usually.”

“If you can reach into my hair, I have a bobby pin in my bangs on the right side.”

“Alright, cool. Lean down as close as you can to my hands.”

Patton bent to the right, moving his head down over the side of the chair. Virgil stretched his right arm all the way out between the rungs and fished for Patton’s hair. Having no light was a bit more difficult than he thought it would be. His fingers met curls, and he tried not to pull Patton’s hair as he felt around for the bobby pin.

Wait! There it was!

Virgil pulled, not missing the way Patton sucked in a breath as he yanked a few of Patton’s hairs out by accident. “Sorry.”

“Ah, it’s okay. They’ll grow back. I’m just happy I decided not to wear hair gel today.”

“You and me both,” Virgil replied. Now, hopefully, he didn’t drop it. He bent the bobby pin to the way he needed it and poked around for the lock. Virgil didn’t know if it was a single or a double lock, but he was about to find out. The key didn’t hit any double lock, so Virgil knew it was easy picking. Within minutes, he had the cuffs falling from his wrists. “I’m out!”

“Way to go, kiddo!”

“I’m older than you.”

“Oh.”

Virgil felt the damage he did to his wrists the past two weeks. Scabs formed over the spots he broke, and some were wet from being opened. Hopefully, nothing was infected. He moved the chair from his spot, felt around for Patton’s wrists, and began working at Patton’s cuffs. 

“Hey, Virgil, what does “kiddo” mean?”

“It means, uh, like little kid. You know, like what you would call someone who’s ten years younger than you I guess.”

“Oh. No wonder Logan got mad when I called him that. I thought since I heard someone call him that on your security cameras that it was a nickname.”

The first latch fell free. Virgil paused a moment before he picked the other lock. “Logan doesn’t like it when anyone patronizes him. The only one who can get away with pet names for him is Emile, and you’ll meet him later.”

“Wait, I’ll meet who later?”

“Emile. And Remy. And Roman and Remus and Cassie and Nancy and-”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m taking you to Janus.”

“Wh-what? No, I- I do think- I don’t think- bad idea-”

“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay. He’ll protect you, I’m sure of it.”

“What makes you so sure?”

The second lock clicked open, and Virgil threw Patton’s cuffs as far away from Patton as he could get them. They made a satisfying clunk on the wall and fell to the ground. Patton pulled his wrists through the chair rungs and rubbed them. He stood and faced Virgil, or at least where he thought Virgil was, keeping his fear swallowed down his throat. 

“Because,” Virgil answered at last, “I literally stole from Janus, and he took me in. You stole from him then did what you could to make it right, so I’m pretty sure he’ll cut you some slack.”

“But what about my grandma? If I leave… I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen.”

Virgil sighed through his nose. “I can’t solve that problem, and neither can you if you stay here. She’s only going to use you to do more horrible things. We’ll think of something to help your Vovo, I promise.”

Patton sighed through his nose and nodded his head. He took Virgil’s hand, and the two of them slowly worked their way over to the light switch. Patton’s fingertips met the wall first, and he groped around. His fingers hit the switch, and he turned on the light. Virgil squinted and let out a low hiss, and Patton covered his eyes with his hands.

“You could’ve warned me,” Virgil mumbled.

“Oh, sorry. Do you want me to turn them back off?”

“No.” Virgil tiptoed up the stairs and cursed when he got to the top. “There’s a number pad to get out.”

“Let me take a look,” Patton said as he crept up behind Virgil. He stared at the numbers on the pad for a minute. “I watched Mara put in a code when she brought me down here.”

 Patton’s memory recalled the exact numbers Mara used to get in, and the light turned green. The door opened with a loud clank, and it creaked open. Virgil chewed on his lip.

“Do you think anyone heard?” Patton asked.

Virgil shrugged. “Hopefully not, but still be careful.”

The two boys snuck down the hallway together. Every time a shadow passed, Virgil was pulling Patton down, leading him into an empty room, or holding him at the edge of a corner. Patton whispered to Virgil which way to go as they headed to the back door. Finally, they made it to the kitchen. Patton’s shoulders sagged in relief as he caught sight of the door.

“We made it,” he whispered. He watched Virgil’s shoulders relax as well.

“You made what?”

Patton and Virgil both froze. Slowly, like haunted dolls, they turned their heads. Mara stood in the doorway with two goons standing behind her, both with hands on their guns and ready to fire when instructed.

Mara’s heels clicked on the ground as she approached them. Her hands slowly clapped, and her head was lowered so she peered out from under her hooded eyes. She said, “Very well done, gentleman. You have no idea how unbelievably impressed I am. Though, I’m disappointed it took you two almost two hours to figure it out. I thought you were both smarter than that.”

Patton backed up until he met Virgil’s chest. He swallowed his dread down his throat and pleaded, “Just let Virgil go. He didn’t do anything to you.”

Virgil put a hand on Patton’s shoulder and growled, “And stop manipulating Patton to do your dirty work.”

Mara tilted her head back to cackle, sounding like the witch she was. She shook her head and continued to laugh through her statement, “Patton could’ve left whenever he wanted.”

Virgil and Patton’s dual confused expressions stared at her. She rolled her eyes and folded her arms, adding on, “The game with Patton finding Logan is over. I don’t need him anymore. He could’ve left whenever he wanted, but he chose to stay here because of you, Virgil.”

“That’s… is that true?” Virgil mumbled.

“Go ahead. Ask him.”

Virgil’s hand slid off Patton’s shoulder, and Patton turned to Virgil to shake his head. “I did stay when Logan asked me to go, but i swear, Virgil, she never said I could go.”

“I didn’t?”

“No,” Patton replied, courage building in his chest. “Don’t lie to him to trick him.”

“I’m not lying. I told you, I only needed you to find Logan, then after that, you’d be free. You chose to stay here, whether you believe it or not.”

Patton snapped, “Well, I couldn’t just leave him! Once Logan told me that you stole him from his protection, I wanted to get him back home. You told me Logan was kidnapped, but he wasn’t. They freed him. And then you held Virgil here to get him back.”

“I didn’t, but go off.”

“Why else would you? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Because I was bored.” Mara started to slowly walk forward toward Patton. Patton didn’t shy away. “These past two weeks have been the most fun I’ve had in a while. As soon as I saw you were an amazing hacker, I thought about how much fun it would be to watch you solve a mystery if given the correct tools, and you didn’t disappoint me. It only took you three weeks to find Logan, which the police couldn’t even solve in 4 months, almost 5 now.”

“But what about Janus and all the information I hacked?”

“That was just a bonus. I’ll do anything just to mess with Janus. In fact, I was wondering if he’d come for you himself, Virgil, or if he’d trade back Logan. That’s why you’re still here, to see what Janus would do next. I guess he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought.”

Patton heard Virgil suck in a breath behind him, and he clenched his jaw. Patton mumbled, “So, all this, was just a game to be mean to people?”

“You got it.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a rich millionaire widow who has no idea what to do with herself anymore but play with her money and make people miserable for the fun of it. I won capitalism, so what else is there to do?”

“You could donate that money. Don’t you know how much people suffer? You could help so many people.”

“I helped you and your grandmother, didn’t I?”

“But I mean, without all this. Wouldn’t you rather give to people just to be a good person?”

“Well, that’s boring.” Mara said with a yawn, “much like this conversation. You won the game, boys, so go ahead and be free. Go to Janus and Logan for all I care. Just know that they abandoned you both here, so don’t be too upset if they don’t take you back. You’ll always have room here, and you know I’ll do anything to treat you well if they reject you.”

Patton didn’t back away, and neither did Mara. The back door clicked open as Virgil twisted the handle.

“Come on, Pat. Let’s get the fuck out of this fucked up funhouse,” Virgil growled.

Patton stared at Mara for a bit longer. He sucked in a breath to puff out his chest and mumbled, “You are a horrible person.”

“Thank you, sweetheart. Say hi to Logan for me if he still wants to talk to you.”

Patton pulled his fist back and struck before Mara could react. It connected with her nose, and there were two loud cracks. One was definitely Mara’s nose, and the other was Patton’s knuckles. They both backed up and cradled their injuries.

One of the guards drew their gun. Virgil jumped forward and grabbed onto Patton. He pulled Patton out of the way just in time for the goon to fire. The two boys took off for the door.

“Stop you idiot!” Mara screamed through her stuffed nose. “What the fuck? They’re kids! You don’t shoot at kids, you moron!”

Virgil and Patton raced through the yard and down the street. They didn’t stop until they were two blocks away. Panting, Virgil leaned up against the cemetery fence, and Patton put his hands on the back of his head to breathe better.

“Well, that was exciting,” Patton said, “We really gunned it to get away.”

“What was that?” Virgil snapped, making Patton flinch. “You just punch her out of nowhere while there’s two people behind her with a gun? If you’re gonna punch people, at least do it properly. Let me see your knuckles.”

Patton held out his hand and didn’t realize how much his wrist hurt. He winced as he turned it over. Virgil studied Patton’s fingers and moved his ring and pinky finger back and forth. He monitored Patton’s reaction, which was surprisingly neutral.

“Well, at least you didn’t give yourself boxer’s fracture,” Virgil mumbled. “But your wrist probably hurts, doesn’t it?”

“How did you know?”

“Because I’ve done it a lot. I’ll show you how to correctly punch someone later.”

Patton offered a pretty bright smile for an already bright day, and Virgil tried to emulate it. Patton sighed and mumbled, “I wish I didn’t give Logan my bus pass now. Then we wouldn't have to walk all the way to Janus’s house in the middle of the hot summer day in a strange- Virgil, are you okay?”

Virgil moved his other hand, which at some point cradled his left side, and noticed how red it came back. He hummed and mumbled, “I guess I got shot.”

“You guess?” Patton shrieked. He moved to Virgil’s side and lifted his shirt, but Virgil’s hand smacked his wrists away.

“Dude. Personal space.”

“You’re bleeding and you’re worried about personal space?”

“At least warn a dude next time.”

Patton sighed through his nose. “I don’t have any bandages. We should call 911.”

“With what phone? I don’t know about you, but I didn’t grab mine when we left, and I’m pretty sure you don’t have one either.”

Patton grew silent at that. His head whipped around. “W-we could knock on someone’s door. They might let us in to call somebody.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Janus’s place isn’t that far. I can make it.”

Patton stared at him, rather distrustfully, like he was going to take off to find help himself. Virgil pushed off the wall and headed toward Janus’s building.

“Besides, if Janus doesn’t take me back, I can’t afford a hospital bill, so I’d rather die anyway.”

“Virgil,” Patton started, but he didn’t finish. Instead, he chased after Virgil, and the two of them hurried as fast as they could to Janus’s building. Hopefully, it wasn’t too far and they’d make it.

--

“Out of my way, Emile.”

“No.”

“I will shove you out of the way if I have to.”

“Go ahead. I’m not letting you play into her hands again.”

“Last I checked, I was your boss, and I say get out of my way.”

Emile’s cold scowl answered him, and Janus nearly tore his hair out. Of all times Emile chose to be stubborn, why did it have to be now?

“You think I like this?” Janus snapped. “You think I want to play into her hands to get Virgil back? The kid needs us now, Emile, and Mara isn’t just gonna let him walk out the door.”

“Then send Remy. You know he’s capable of getting into Mara’s house already.”

Remy, who was perched against the wall and probably would’ve been munching on popcorn if he could, mumbled, “Hi, yeah, don’t bring me into your drama, please. Thanks.”

“I don’t see why you’re so calm about this. Why aren’t you off to find Virgil yourself by now? How can you stand there and do nothing?”

“Because I already argued with Janus and lost. Besides, I’d honestly rather watch you two fight it out. It’s more entertaining.”

Emile opened his mouth to retort, but he stopped as Janus tried to push past him. He grabbed onto Janus’s shoulders and stopped him. For a moment, all the two did was death glare at each other.

“Move.”

“No.”

Remy cupped his hands and called out, “Get a room.”

The two of them turned their gaze to Remy, who snorted and ducked away from their anger. As Janus got a lucky shot in to hit the elevator button, the doors opened. Janus froze solid at the sight. Emile noticed the color drain from Janus’s face, and he slowly turned around.

Inside was a boy with Virgil’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. Virgil looked ready to pass out, and the entire right side of his body was drenched in blood. The strange boy gave a too-wide smile and swallowed thickly.

“Hello,” was all the boy could manage to say.

Within minutes, Virgil was taken to the personal care center on the third floor and patched up. Fluids were pumped into his body to try and help replace the blood he lost. Thankfully, he never passed out until he realized he was safe. 

Janus sat on a chair across from Virgil’s bed, his hands clutching Virgil’s left one as he mumbled prayers under his breath. Emile, who stood behind him, looked up at Nancy, who wrote notes down on a clipboard.

“Is he going to make it?”

Her brown eyes snapped up, and she offered a smile. “Mister Virgil here should be just fine. He’s going to need a lot of rest though, which he’s not going to like one bit.”

Only then did Janus stop his prayer. He looked across the bedside to Patton, who was curled up in the corner and staring at the floor. Janus stood and gave Emile a chance to sit with Virgil. Patton’s eyes followed Janus, ready for the worst. Janus leaned down and sat on the balls of his feet.

“First, you hack into my system to steal Logan, then you save Logan, and then you stay behind to save Virgil, and you’re still scared I’m going to hurt you?”

Patton could only stare at him with watery eyes. He blinked a few times.

Janus continued, “I don’t know what your life’s like, kid, but know that I’ve got your back from here on out.”

Patton blinked, and his tears finally spilled over his eyes. He gave a watery laugh and said, “I was just doing the right thing.”

“Well, the right thing is going to get you a job offer.” Janus cut Patton off. “Before Virgil so graciously passed out, he mentioned something about your grandmother being sick and you needing a job. I’m a bit low on hackers if you know what I mean. So, what do you say?”

Patton jumped out and wrapped his arms around Janus’s neck. Janus cried out in surprise and put his knees on the floor to balance himself. He didn’t hug back, but he felt Patton’s shoulders shaking as he held in his tears.

“Thank you,” Patton mumbled over and over. “Thank you so much.”

“Oh yes, by all means, stain my suit with your snot and tears,” Janus mumbled. He caught Emile’s stifled laugh. “And no comments from the peanut gallery.”

“I didn’t say a word,” Emile defended.

Janus sighed through his nose. Patton pulled away, his hands on Janus’s shoulders, and gave the brightest smile that Janus ever saw.

“I promise I won’t let you down,” Patton said.

Janus couldn’t help but offer a smile back. Patton’s joy was so infectious it even made him feel something in his heart. Something warm and disgusting and constantly swallowed down his throat. He couldn’t say he hated the feeling, but it was definitely different.

Okay, maybe one more kid wouldn’t hurt.