#this is actually insane(in the best way possible)

[lyvhie]

omg hiii, i’ve been in my haechan feels lately, especially with him looking unreal from the seoul shows. can we get possessive haechan?? like i swear that man loves his girl down bad, absolutely in love, and he’s so possessive of her like not in a toxic weird way, but like a hot cute endearing way like a way that would make me push him into the dressing room of a clothes store and give him the most best and deserved head he’s ever gotten bc if there’s anything i love, it’s a man who’s down baddd

── .✦ moments of appreciation

lee donghyuck x fem!reader

𓂃 ࣪˖ ࣪cw: smut, fluff (?), oral (m), deep throat, public sex. 𓂃 ࣪˖ a/n: hi anon... you're so right... i think about this everyday, i meed him in every ways possible, you dont get it... please, enjoy!!! (no, i have nothing for valentine's day, maybe next year, babes 😜😜)

Donghyuck never thought he could love someone the way he loves you. He couldn't quite put into words everything that made him love you, you were simply it for him, perfect in all the right ways.

Yes, you had your imperfections, but to him, love was never about perfection. It wasn't about logic or reason, it simply was. Anyone could love something for all the good it offered, but real love, the kind that mattered, was about embracing everything, even the flaws. And that's exactly how he loved you—completely, without hesitation, without conditions.

He had thought about this before. You could break his heart, shatter him beyond repair, or commit the worst sins imaginable, and he would still love you—helplessly, foolishly. It didn't matter if it sounded irrational, maybe even a little insane. The truth was simple: he would do anything for you, no matter the cost.

But the best part? You were his. No one else's, just his. The thought alone made his chest swell with something dangerously close to obsession. Out of everyone in the world, you had chosen him, and that was a privilege he would never take lightly. You were his, and he was just as much yours, bound to you in a way that felt absolute, unshakable.

And that’s why, even after what felt like days sitting on that little couch, watching you step out of the dressing room in a different outfit each time, he still felt like he was having the best day of his life. Then again, every day felt like the best as long as you were in it.

Really, was there any better way to spend his time than watching his pretty girl try on pretty clothes?

“What do you think about this one?” You asked again, the same question you’d been repeating since the first outfit change.

Donghyuck looked up from his phone, his eyes immediately locking onto you.

“I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life,” he said with a bright smile, letting his gaze travel up and down twice.

“Hyuck, come on,” you rolled your eyes. “You said that the last fifteen times. You’re being useless,” you huffed, crossing your arms.

“How is it my fault that you look stunning in everything?” he shot back, tilting his head with a smirk.

You sighed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “I need actual feedback, not just you being a flirt.”

Donghyuck leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he gave you a once-over, this time, with a more thoughtful expression. “Okay, fine. Turn around.”

You did as he said, giving him a little twirl before facing him again, an expectant look on your face.

He hummed, tapping his chin dramatically. “I mean… it is a really nice outfit,” he said slowly, making you narrow your eyes at him.

“But?”

“But I still think you are the best part of it,” he grinned, dodging the throw pillow you immediately launched at him.

He got up from his seat, laughing as he walked toward your grumpy figure, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Aw, don't look at me like that, gorgeous," he teased, pressing a kiss to your cheek and chuckling when you turned your face away. "Why are you so worried about this anyway?" he asked, tightening his grip slightly when you tried to pull away.

You hesitated for a moment before sighing. "It's for the reunion," you admitted, avoiding his gaze.

Donghyuck blinked, then tilted his head. "The high school thing?"

"Yes, the high school thing," you huffed. "I don't know, I just... want to look good. It's been years, and I'll be seeing people I haven't seen since we were all awkward teenagers."

His lips curled into a teasing smirk. "Ohhh, I get it now," he cooed. "You wanna show off a little, huh?"

You shot him a glare. "It's not like that—”

"It is like that," he interrupted, grinning. "And honestly? You should. You're hot. Let them eat their hearts out."

Despite yourself, you couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head as he pinched your sides playfully.

"I'm serious, baby. You're stressing over nothing. Just look at you," he said, taking your hand and turning you toward the mirror. His arms wrapped around your waist again, and he rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're breathtaking, the most beautiful woman in the universe and beyond. You could show up in pajamas and still look like a goddess."

You thought you'd be used to his endless flattery by now, but somehow, you never were. It was always sweet, never failing to make your heart skip a beat.

You glanced at him through the mirror, your worries slowly fading as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck.

"You're so dramatic," your tone warm as you rolled your eyes but leaned back into him anyway.

"I'm just telling the truth," he murmured, pressing his nose against your neck. "It's not my fault my overthinking girlfriend needs constant reminders of how stunning she is."

You huffed, but the way your lips twitched betrayed you. "Well, maybe if someone gave me actual opinions instead of just approving everything i wear, I wouldn't have to overthink."

Donghyuck chuckled, swaying you gently in his arms. "Fine, fine. If you really want my expert opinion..." He paused, pretending to scrutinize your reflection in the mirror.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting. "And?”

“Don’t wear this dress.”

“What? Why?” You frowned, glancing at your reflection. “I actually liked this one the most. Does it really look that bad?”

“I never said that,” his hands trailing up and down your waist. “You look incredible, love, but it feels a little too formal for the occasion. The second one you tried fits the vibe better. Plus, it’ll probably be more comfortable… you know, in case we need to make a quick getaway.”

Yeah, he wouldn't admit it, but he wanted you to wear it just for him. You looked too beautiful in it, almost unfairly so, the idea of anyone else seeing you like this, soaking in the sight of you, were a big no-no. Unwanted attention (read: any attention that wasn’t exclusively his) was simply not an option.

“Oh, so you’re already planning our escape before we even get there?” You raised your brows, crossing your arms. “Really?”

Donghyuck chuckled, tightening his grip on your waist as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. "Baby, please. I know you," his voice laced with amusement. "You won't last more than an hour before you start getting annoyed at half the people there. You'll smile, nod, pretend to listen, and then, you'll be counting the minutes until we leave."

He pulled back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze in the mirror, a smug grin on his lips. "So, yeah, I'm already planning our escape. Just being a good boyfriend and thinking ahead.”

"Okay, maybe you have a point," you teased, rolling your eyes as you turned to face him, looping your arms around his neck. "Guess I should thank my thoughtful boyfriend for planning ahead."

"Just doing the bare minimum for my girl," he smiled, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Now that we've finally settled on an outfit and I’ve reminded you how perfect you are, can I spoil you and pay for everything you liked?"

You held his gaze, your heart doing that little flutter it always did when he looked at you like that, like you were his entire universe. It was almost overwhelming, the way his eyes softened, filled with something so pure, so consuming.

If love had a shape, a form, a physical presence, you were sure it lived in the way Haechan looked at you. The same way a loyal pet would gaze at their favorite person, full of unconditional adoration, unwavering and endless. His pupils were blown wide, his expression a mix of devotion and something deeper, something you couldn't quite put into words.

“Baby, please, don’t tell me you’re going to refuse again,” he whined at your silence, pouting a little. “Why do you love to ruin my happiness? It's my duty to—”

“I love you, Lee Donghyuck,” you said softly, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss.

He was surprise by the sudden words and actions, but his shoulders instantly relaxed as he melted into your embrace. He kissed you back with equal passion, murmuring between the kisses, “I love you too,” before peppering your lips with more soft kisses as you pulled away, only for him to chase after you, craving more of your touch.

You couldn't help but giggle at the way he whined in protest when you pulled away for good, placing your hands on his chest to stop him. Biting your lip, you glanced around before tugging his hand, a playful glint in your eyes as you whispered, "Come with me." And just like that, you pulled him into the dressing room.

"What are you doing?" he asked, slightly confused, though he wasn't exactly opposed to whatever you had in mind.

"Just saying thank you for being the sweetest boyfriend ever," you murmured, sinking to your knees in front of him, your hands sliding up his thighs as you looked up at him.

Oh, he knew exactly what was happening. God, he couldn't believe it. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as his heart pounded, the sight of you like this making his pants uncomfortably tight.

"Are you sure, love?" his voice softer now, laced with anticipation. His eyes flickered to the curtain, hesitant for only a second as you unbuttoned his pants. "This isn't really the best place to—"

A low groan slipped from his lips as your hand firmly cupped his growing hardness, cutting off whatever weak protest he was about to make.

"Be quiet, Hyuck," you scolded, palming him again. He sucked in a sharp breath, biting his bottom lip to stifle any sound as a dark spot began to form on his underwear.

“Fuck, hurry up,” he hissed, any previous hesitation now completely forgotten.

You smirked at his impatience but didn’t tease him, at least, not too much. Slipping your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you tugged them down just enough to free his cock, standing hard and eager, a bead of precum already glistening at the tip.

You wrapped your fingers around his length, stroking him slowly, savoring the way his breath hitched with each movement. His chest rose and fell in uneven rhythm as he leaned back against the wall, his gaze locked onto you, dark with need. His cock twitched in your grip, another bead of precum spilling from the tip, proof of just how desperate he already was for you.

You merely smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his tip before running your tongue along his length, savoring the way he tensed under your touch. His head fell back against the wall, his breathing growing heavier, his thighs trembling slightly as you took him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking him in deeper.

"Shit—" He bit down on his fist to muffle the groan that nearly slipped, his other hand instinctively threading through your hair, not to control your pace but just to feel you closer, to ground himself in the pleasure you were giving him.

The muffled sounds of the store outside felt like a distant hum, completely drowned out by the way your tongue moved so perfectly against him. His not-so-soft moans filled the small space, each one making your core tighten with satisfaction. You sucked on the tip of his cock before slowly pulling away, letting it slip from your lips with a sinful pop, but your hand never stopped stroking him.

"Hyuck, you're being too loud," you scolded in a hushed tone, glancing up at him with a mix of amusement and warning.

“Don't stop,” he whined, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with desperation. His hips jerked forward instinctively, chasing your warmth. Even the slightest brush of your lips against his tip had his knees trembling.

You let out a soft chuckle, watching the way he was falling apart just from your touch. His fingers tightened in your hair, his knuckles turning white as he fought the urge to push you down onto him the way he so desperately wanted.

“You’re so needy,” you teased, your breath ghosting over his sensitive tip, making him shudder.

“And whose fault is that?” he shot back, his voice strained, breathing heavily.

Instead of answering, you wrapped your lips around him once more, taking him in deeper this time. His head fell back against the wall with a soft thud, a broken moan escaping his lips as his grip in your hair loosened for a moment, only to tighten again when your tongue flicked over his slit.

Was he dead, and this was paradise? If not, it had to be the closest thing to it. His legs nearly gave out when he felt your throat tighten around him, the sudden sensation ripping a loud moan from his lips. Your nails dug into his thighs in warning, silently telling him to keep quiet. He bit down hard on his lower lip, his breathing ragged as he fought to control himself, but with the way your mouth worked on him, it was becoming nearly impossible.

He looked down at you, and what a sight. The way your lips stretched around him, the glint in your eyes as you took him deeper—it was enough to make his head spin. The pleasure was overwhelming, pushing him closer to the edge. His hips moved on their own, chasing that high, silently begging you to go faster, to take him there.

You gave in to his desires, quickening your pace, sucking with more intensity, while your hand skillfully massaged his balls, each movement pushing him closer to the edge. The rhythm of your actions seemed to drive him wild, his breath ragged as he struggled to hold on.

His body tensed, his head spinning as he reached his peak, hot spurts of cum filling your mouth. His fingers tightened in your hair, urging you closer as his hips jerked forward, riding out the last tremors of his climax, unwilling to let go.

You pulled his cock out of your mouth, knowing he would have kept you there if he had his way. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, glancing up to see his face in pure satisfaction, eyes shut and head leaning against the wall. His hand now gently ran through your hair, his breath still heavy as he mumbled how good you were, the words dripping with praise.

You let out a soft giggle, adjusting his clothes as you noticed how disoriented he looked. As you stood up, he finally met your gaze, his eyes dark with desire. Without warning, he leaned in, pulling you into a kiss that was intense yet tender. “God, I love you so much, baby,” he whispered against your lips.

“Me too,” you replied, a playful smile on your face. “I think the whole store heard you,” you teased, gently biting his lower lip before pulling away to meet his gaze.

“Then I guess they know how much I love you now,” he shrugged, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, making you laugh. “Maybe I’ll be quieter next time.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Next time? I think this one was enough, don’t you? We could have gotten caught.”

“But we didn’t,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Next time, I’ll make sure you're the one making all the noise.”

↝ taglist: @yizhrt, @sinisxtea, @peterm4rker.

[s4svnn]

Out of bounds . JJK

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢��; his love subjected you to the true extent of deception, a merciless lie wrapped in the illusion of paradise, until the truth tore it apart - he was always out of bounds.

↳ Jungkook x reader

↳ 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬: ongoing

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chapter Forty Two

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts racing far too fast for rest to find me. The blankets were warm, cocooning me in comfort, yet my mind refused to settle. Because today—everything about today—lingered in my chest like a soft ache pressing against my ribs, refusing to fade.

If someone had told me a few weeks ago that Jungkook would be the one putting in this much effort for me, I would have laughed. Matter of a fact I would have laughed and called them insane. The Jungkook I had come to know wasn’t the kind of man who apologized. He wasn’t the kind of man who went out of his way to fix things or to prove that he cared. And yet, here he was. Doing exactly that over and over again.

I turned onto my side, hugging the pillow close as I let myself really think about it. He had taken me to see his mother today. His mother. That wasn’t something to take lightly. That wasn’t something you shared unless you truly wanted someone to see the parts of you that weren’t so easy to show. I could still see the way his hands had trembled, the way his shoulders had stiffened as he tried to hold himself together, only to crumble when we finally stood before her grave.

But he hadn’t been alone. Because I had been there. And for once, he had let me be there.

And then—God, then he had gone to my mum. Had looked her in the eye and asked for her approval, not because he had to, not because anyone had told him to, but because he wanted to. Because he wanted her to know that he wasn’t playing games. That he was serious about making things right, about making her daughter his.

I swallowed, gripping the fabric of my blanket tighter. He had helped me face my past. He had walked beside me through the very memories I had spent years running from, not forcing me, not rushing me, just being there. And I hadn’t realized just how much I had needed that—needed him.

The thought sent a warmth spreading through my chest, soft and terrifying all at once. Because this was real. This wasn’t some fleeting moment of kindness or an act to make himself feel better. Jungkook was really trying. He was putting in the effort, showing up for me in ways I had never expected. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t facing everything alone. I bit my lip, pressing my face into the pillow, as a small, completely involuntary smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

And then there was tomorrow. I had no idea what he had planned. But the fact that I was actually excited to find out made my stomach twist with something I wasn’t ready to accept. Because if there was one thing I was beginning to learn about Jungkook, it was that he never did anything halfway. And whatever tomorrow held, I had a feeling it would only bring me closer to seeing the truth.

That maybe just maybe he was someone worth falling for.

Saturday:

Jungkook’s POV

The morning air carried the lingering chill of dawn as I stepped out of the hotel lobby and into the quiet city streets. The sun had only just begun to rise, casting long golden streaks across the pavement, the world still moving at a sluggish pace as the day stretched itself awake.

But my mind was already wide awake—racing, buzzing, filled with nothing but her.

Even after everything that had happened yesterday—standing beside Aylah at my mother’s grave, watching her face her own past, feeling the warmth of her mother’s acceptance as she pulled me into an embrace—I still couldn’t fully process how much had changed between us. Just a few weeks ago, she barely wanted to look at me, let alone trust me. And now?

Now, she was letting me in. The thought made my chest tighten in the best way possible, an unfamiliar but welcome warmth settling beneath my ribs. I never expected to feel like this, to want something so badly that I’d be willing to prove myself over and over again just for the chance to earn it. But for her? For Aylah? I would do anything.

I reached my car, keys in hand, a small smirk pulling at my lips as I imagined her reaction to what I had planned for today. She had no idea what was coming, and that made it even better. 

But just as I reached for the door handle, a strange feeling crawled up my spine.

A sharp prickle.

The kind of sensation that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my muscles instinctively tensing as an uncomfortable awareness settled over me.

I wasn’t alone. Someone was watching me.

My grip tightened around my keys as I glanced over my shoulder, eyes scanning the dimly lit parking lot. There were a few cars scattered around, their windshields glinting in the sunlight, but other than that—nothing. The street beyond was just as empty. No one was there.

Yet, that feeling remained.

I exhaled slowly, shaking my head as I tried to push away the unease. Maybe I was just being paranoid. Maybe I was just on edge from everything that had been happening lately. With a quiet sigh, I unlocked the car, sliding into the driver’s seat and shutting the door behind me.

But even as I started the engine, the discomfort lingered.

It settled deep into my bones, an unwelcome presence that I couldn’t shake. I pulled out of the parking space, merging onto the main road. The city had woken up now, cars beginning to fill the streets, pedestrians rushing across sidewalks, coffee cups in hand. It was a normal morning—nothing unusual, nothing out of the ordinary.

But then I glanced at my rearview mirror.

A black car.

At first, I didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t uncommon to see the same car for a few blocks, especially during the morning rush. But something about this one made me look twice.

It had been behind me for a while.

I switched lanes.

So did they.

I made a turn onto a different street.

So did they.

A slow, creeping unease wrapped around my chest, squeezing. My hands flexed against the steering wheel as I tested them again, taking another unexpected turn.

They followed.

Shit.

My pulse kicked up, heart beginning to pound against my ribs. I wasn’t imagining this. Someone was following me.

I pressed my foot down on the accelerator, picking up speed as I merged onto the highway. Maybe I was just overthinking it. Maybe I was being dramatic. But the moment I sped up, the black car did too, matching my pace with an almost deliberate precision.

Adrenaline burned through my veins.

I wove through the morning traffic, darting between cars with sharp movements. My tires screeched slightly against the asphalt as I pushed the speedometer higher, my focus razor-sharp as I tried to lose them.

But they weren’t backing off.

No hesitation. No delay. Whoever was behind the wheel wasn’t just tailing me—they were keeping up with me too well. A cold realization settled over me. This wasn’t just some random driver going the same way. This was intentional.

I clenched my jaw, pushing the speed even further as I cut across lanes, weaving in and out of cars with pinpoint precision. The city blurred past me, buildings and streetlights flashing in streaks of color as I maneuvered through the chaos.

The black car was still there.

Still keeping pace.

A spike of frustration flared in my chest. My fingers curled tightly around the wheel as I made a hard right, swerving off the highway onto a smaller, nearly empty road. The sharp turn jolted my car, but I kept control, adjusting my grip as I floored the gas.

My heart thundered in my ears as I flicked my gaze to the rearview mirror.

The black car was gone.

I exhaled sharply, the tension in my shoulders beginning to ease as I finally allowed myself to breathe. My grip on the wheel loosened just a fraction as I scanned the road behind me again.

Did I lose them?

I forced out a quiet, bitter chuckle, running a hand through my hair as I shook my head. Maybe I had just been overreacting. Maybe I was—

My whole world shattered.

Out of nowhere, the same black car came barreling in from the right, slamming into my vehicle with a force so violent, so brutal, that my body was jerked forward, my seatbelt digging into my chest as the impact tore through me like a shockwave.

The air was filled with the screech of twisting metal, the shatter of glass exploding around me as my car lurched sideways. The tires skidded against the asphalt, struggling for control, but it was too late.

The force was too strong.

My car flipped.

The world spun into a chaotic blur, my vision flickering with flashes of color—gray, black, silver, red. My body whipped against the seatbelt as I was thrown upside down, the violent impact of each roll rattling my bones.

Glass rained down, cutting into my skin, burning against my face as the sheer force of the crash made my head snap back.

Then—

Silence.

I was upside down, stuck in the car with blood streaming down my face. Everything hurt.

The faint sound of tires screeching away rang in the distance, fading as the black car sped off, leaving me wrecked and bleeding in the middle of the empty road. 

Who ever this was. One thing was certain. They wanted me dead.

Aylah’s POV

The rhythmic motion of my hand against the countertop slowed as my eyes flickered back to my phone for what had to be the hundredth time. The screen remained dark—no new messages, no missed calls.

Still nothing.

Jungkook hadn’t texted me. Not even once.

I sighed, gripping the cloth in my hand tighter as I absentmindedly wiped the already spotless counter, my thoughts restless and uneasy. He had promised to text me in the morning, said he had something planned for today. And yet, here I was, staring at a silent phone, fighting the ridiculous feeling of disappointment settling in my chest.

It was stupid to feel this anxious, wasn’t it? He was probably just busy. Maybe something came up, or he overslept. Yeah, that had to be it.

And yet… that didn’t explain the gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach, the way my heart felt heavier with every passing minute of silence.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I barely registered the sudden weight of an arm draping over my shoulder until Kayla’s voice rang out beside me.

"Okay, what’s with the face?" she teased, peering at me with curiosity. "Boyfriend not texted yet?"

I rolled my eyes, attempting to school my features into something neutral, though I could tell by the smug look on her face that I wasn’t doing a very good job. "He’s not my boyfriend."

Kayla hummed in amusement, pulling back just enough to study me. "Uh-huh. So why do you keep checking your phone every five seconds?"

I hesitated, but there was no point in lying—she knew me too well. I exhaled, finally setting the cloth down and crossing my arms over my chest. "He told me yesterday that he had something planned for today. Said he’d text me in the morning to let me know when to get ready." I glanced at my phone again, as if it would magically light up. "But he still hasn’t said anything."

"Maybe he’s still putting the final touches on your little date."

I shot her a glare. "It’s not a date."

She smirked. "Tomato, tomahto."

I huffed in frustration, turning back toward the counter in an attempt to hide the warmth creeping up my neck. I didn’t know why I was getting so flustered—it wasn’t like I was waiting on a text from a crush or something.

"Didn’t you have somewhere to be today?"

"I did," she admitted, eating a slice of apple. "But the person took a rain check on me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, sensing that she was being deliberately vague. "So you’re still not going to tell me who this mysterious man is?"

She winked. "Now, where’s the fun in that?"

I let out a laugh, shaking my head at her antics, and for a moment, the lightheartedness of the conversation was enough to push away the nagging worry in the back of my mind.

But then my phone started ringing.

The sudden sound sliced through our laughter, and my stomach twisted as I quickly reached for it, my brows furrowing when I saw the name flashing across the screen.

Damian.

My lips parted slightly in confusion. Damian never called me this early.

A strange feeling settled in my gut as I swiped to answer. "Hello—"

"Is Jungkook with you?"

His voice was urgent—sharp, cutting me off before I could even finish my greeting.

My grip on the phone tightened, my entire body stilling. "No… isn’t he still at the hotel?"

There was a brief silence on the other end, then a slow, measured inhale.

"He’s not there."

The uneasy feeling in my stomach hardened into something colder. "What do you mean he’s not there?"

Damian exhaled. "AJ… a Bugatti Chiron was reported to have been in an accident on the highway."

Everything inside me went still.

I felt my breath hitch, my heart missing a beat. "A—A Bugatti Chiron?"

"Yeah." His voice was quieter now, more cautious. "Apparently, it was a really bad accident… and the driver’s in a coma."

A sharp chill shot down my spine. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry, the words barely making it past my lips.

"A-and you think it’s…?"

"I’m not sure yet," Damian admitted, his voice tight with uncertainty. "I’ve been calling his phone non-stop, but he hasn’t picked up. And his Bugatti’s gone from the hotel parking lot."

My chest tightened, panic clawing at my ribs. No. No, it couldn’t be.

"Maybe it’s just a coincidence," I whispered, though even as I said it, the words felt hollow.

Damian let out a shaky exhale, as if he was trying to convince himself of the same thing. "Let’s hope so." He paused, his hesitation making my pulse race even faster. "I’ll let you know if I find out anything."

"O-okay," I murmured.

The call ended, but my hand remained clenched around the phone, my knuckles turning white. The world around me felt distant, muffled, like I was underwater.

"AJ?"

I turned slowly, my gaze meeting Kayla’s. Her teasing demeanor was gone now, replaced with concern as she studied my face.

"Is everything okay?" she asked carefully.

I tried to speak, but my throat felt tight, the words refusing to come out. I swallowed hard, shaking my head slightly as I forced myself to answer. "I… I don’t know."

Kayla’s brows knitted together. "What do you mean?"

I took a shaky breath, my fingers trembling slightly as I lowered my phone. "Damian just called. He—he said there was a Bugatti Chiron in a really bad accident this morning. The driver’s in a coma."

Her face paled instantly.

"A Bugatti Chiron?" she repeated, her voice laced with growing alarm. "But isn’t that—"

"Yeah," I cut in, my voice barely above a whisper. "That’s Jungkook’s car."

Kayla’s lips parted as if she wanted to say something—something reassuring, something logical—but nothing came out. The tension between us grew heavier, like a thick fog pressing down on my chest.

"Maybe it’s not him," she said after a long pause, though her tone lacked conviction. "I mean, a lot of people have fancy cars like that, right?"

I wanted to believe her. God, I wanted to believe her so badly.

But I couldn’t. Because even if there were other people in this city who owned the same car, the fact that Jungkook’s was suddenly missing, and he wasn’t answering his phone, made it impossible to ignore the sinking dread clawing at me.

Kayla reached out, her fingers grazing my arm. "Babe, look at me."

I forced my eyes up to meet hers, my vision slightly blurred from the panic rising inside me.

"We don’t know for sure yet," she said firmly. "Damian’s checking. You can’t jump to conclusions."

I exhaled shakily, nodding even though my gut told me otherwise. "Yeah… yeah, you’re right."

Still, my fingers itched to call him, to hear his voice, to have him pick up and tell me I was being ridiculous.

Without thinking, I dialed his number.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

"The number you have dialed is currently unavailable—"

I ended the call before the automated voice could finish, my chest tightening. Something was wrong. I turned away from Kayla, gripping the edge of the counter as I tried to steady my breathing. Everything felt off—like the ground beneath me was shifting, and I couldn’t find my balance.

Seconds felt like hours. Minutes stretched endlessly. I stood frozen in the kitchen, my hands gripping the counter so tightly that my knuckles turned white. The sickening weight in my chest refused to budge, and no matter how much I tried to tell myself that everything was fine, that there was no way the driver in that accident was Jungkook—I just knew.

Kayla lingered beside me, shifting her weight nervously from foot to foot. She kept glancing at me like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t. Probably because she knew that nothing she said would make a difference right now.

Then my phone rang again.

I practically lunged for it, my heart hammering as I saw Damian’s name flash across the screen. My fingers fumbled to accept the call.

“H-Hello?” My voice was barely steady.

There was a pause on the other end. A pause that made my stomach churn violently. 

“AJ.” Damian’s voice was different this time. Lower. Heavier. Like he didn’t want to say what he was about to say.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Did you find out?”

Another pause.

“The driver…” He hesitated for a split second, but that was all it took. My entire body locked up, my breath catching in my throat as dread crawled up my spine.

“… It was Jungkook.”

The world tilted. A sharp ringing filled my ears as my vision blurred, my grip on my phone going slack.

“No,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

“AJ—”

“No, no, that’s not—” I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head violently as if that would somehow make this all go away. “It’s not him. It’s not—”

“I’m at the hospital right now,” Damian cut in, his voice still steady, but I could hear the strain beneath it. “They brought him in a few hours ago. He’s in surgery.”

I swayed slightly, my legs suddenly feeling too weak to hold me up.

Surgery.

Jungkook was in surgery.

“Hey,” Kayla’s voice broke through the haze, her hands suddenly gripping my arms, steadying me. “What’s wrong? What did he say?”

I couldn’t answer. Because if I said it out loud, it would make it real.

“AJ, you need to get down here,” Damian continued, his voice quieter now. “They won’t tell me much because I’m not family, but… it’s bad.”

I forced myself to breathe, even as my lungs felt like they were caving in.

“I-I’m coming,” I managed to say, my voice shaking uncontrollably.

“Okay,” Damian said softly. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

The call ended, and for a moment, I just stood there, staring blankly at my phone as the weight of his words settled over me like a crushing force.

Jungkook.

Surgery.

It’s bad.

“AJ breathe,” Kayla pressed, her hands still firm on my arms, her eyes wide with concern. “What happened?”

I sucked in a breath, barely able to get the words out.

“It was him,” I whispered. “Jungkook… he—” My voice cracked, my throat burning. “He was in the accident. He’s in surgery.”

Kayla inhaled sharply, her grip tightening. “Oh my God.”

“I—I have to go,” I said quickly, stepping back and moving toward the door, my body running on autopilot. I couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything except the overwhelming need to get to him.

“I’m coming with you,” Kayla said immediately.

I didn’t argue. I couldn’t.

Because all I could think about was Jungkook.

Lying in a hospital bed.

Fighting for his life.

The moment Kayla pulled up to the hospital entrance, I was already unbuckling my seatbelt.

“AJ, wait—”

I didn’t. I threw the car door open and rushed inside, my breath coming in short, panicked bursts as I scanned the waiting room.

Damian stood near the reception desk, his head bowed, fingers running through his hair in a way that told me he was just as on edge as I was. The second his eyes met mine, I knew. There was no good news.

“Damian,” I breathed, my legs carrying me toward him before I had even fully processed what I was doing. “What—”

“He’s still in surgery,” Damian cut in, his voice low. “They won’t tell me anything else.”

My stomach twisted painfully. Still in surgery.

I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself, but it felt impossible. I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms. “Did they say how bad it is?”

Damian hesitated. “I overheard a nurse talking to the doctors. He—he lost a lot of blood.”

I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

“They said… the crash was bad. The car flipped multiple times. By the time they got to him, he was unconscious.” Damian exhaled shakily. “His face… his arms… there was so much glass.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want to picture him like that.

“I need a moment,” I whispered, barely recognizing my own voice. It was hoarse, shaky—on the verge of breaking completely.

I didn’t wait for a response. I pushed myself up and turned on my heel, walking briskly toward the exit. I could feel Damian and Kayla’s eyes on me, but neither of them tried to stop me. Maybe they understood that if they did, I would shatter right there in front of them.

The cold night air hit me the second I stepped outside. It was sharp against my skin, biting at my exposed arms, but I barely noticed. My legs carried me forward, past the main entrance, past the streetlights that buzzed faintly above me, and toward the back of the hospital where the car park was nearly empty.

And then, finally, I collapsed.

My back hit the cold wall as I slid down, my legs folding beneath me. My head fell into my hands, my fingers digging into my scalp as I squeezed my eyes shut.

Breathe, Aylah.

But I couldn’t.

Every breath felt heavier than the last. Every inhale was laced with panic, every exhale filled with the unbearable weight of what if.

What if he doesn’t wake up?

What if I never get to hear his stupid teasing again? 

What if I never get the chance to tell him—

I gasped for air, my chest tightening painfully.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Jungkook was supposed to pick me up today. He was supposed to show up with that annoying, cocky grin and whatever ridiculous surprise he had planned. He was supposed to drag me along on another adventure, doing whatever he could to win me over.

But instead… instead, he was fighting for his life in a hospital bed, and there was nothing I could do.

A strangled sound escaped my lips as I clutched my head tighter.

I hated this.

I hated feeling so helpless.

I hated that, after everything, I had finally let him back in—finally started to believe that maybe, just maybe, he was different now—only for this to happen.

Tears slipped down my cheeks, hot against my cold skin, and I couldn’t stop them.

I didn’t even try.

I just let myself break.

But then a voice cut through my sobs.

“Wow, what a sight.”

Slowly—almost fearfully—I lifted my head, my pulse thudding in my ears. My vision was still blurred from the tears, but as I blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the shadowed figure standing just a few feet away, my stomach twisted.

There she was.

Jade.

[papiliotao]

indirect #13: you know what's really funny??? i felt SUPER intimidated by you at first, but now i feel like you're one of the people who gets me the most. sometimes i'm scared that we might be telepathically connected because we share so many opinions on things. it freaks me out a little, but i honestly wouldn't trade our friendship for the world. i keep saying this, but i'm actually so grateful we met!!!

you're insane in the best way possible, and it manifests in the way you talk about your favourite characters. on one hand, it's really goofy, and you can't calm down whenever one of them is mentioned (it's really fun and sweet to see though!! please keep going crazy), but on the other hand, you're also so thoughtful when it comes to characterizing them. the duality of man... truly... i respect you a lot as a writer, and i really want to read more of your works when i have the time!!!

i love how you always keep up with the convo and say the most hilarious things in chat 😭 you're abnormal in the best way possible!! the communities we're both in wouldn't be the same without you, and i find myself smiling a lot whenever you're around! ilysm and i hope we'll be able to get closer in the future (i'm a little bit scared to initiate conversations first, but i'll try <//3)

hopping on the trend! mutuals like this post for an indirect!

(please don't be shy! doesn't matter if we've only interacted a handful of times i swear i have nice things to say to everyone <3)

[thepersonperson]

Sukuna’s Loneliness Part 4 (Sukuna’s Negative Rizz)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Some warnings before we start.

1) This analysis deals with sexual topics.

2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans because of their accessibility. Raws are from mangareader(.)to.

3) This was written as of JJK 262 266. (I'm just going to keep updating this until I stop finding things I should've noticed earlier.)

4) The raws broke me in ways you cannot possibly imagine.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Fighting as Communication

Baki the Grappler. This is a manga where men destroy each other’s bodies as a test of strength. It’s poorly written but the art is terrifying and I love it so dearly. Between fights of extreme violence and body horror the characters eat. And that’s it. That’s the manga.

I bring Baki up because Gege is a huge fan of Fujimoto Tatsuki, the creator of Chainsawman. Fujimoto is a fan of Gege too, but more importantly, he is a huge fan of Itagaki Keisuke, the creator of Baki. (His daughter made Beastars btw.) In a way, this means Jujutsu Kaisen has been influenced by Baki. But that’s not a surprise, a lot of manga is.

Itagaki’s work is so massively influetial on Japanese media that it’s kind of hard to grasp since it’s not as popular overseas. When listening to interviews from various Japanese creators, Baki will often be cited as a major influence. And the thing is, you can tell when a creative has read Baki. There’s nothing quite like it. If you’ve read Baki and consume Chainsawman, you will see its bones everywhere. I feel the same about Jujutsu Kaisen.

The main antagonist in Baki is Yujiro Hanma. He is the strongest creature alive. So much so that he has no one to call a rival. He’s bored. He causes trouble. He kills his wife to motivate his son, Baki into becoming stronger. His son, Baki, who he grooms into becoming a fighter that might beat him in combat one day. Kind of sounds like Sukuna, right?

But that’s not my point here. My focus is how Baki doubles as a discussion about strength and manhood. It’s aggressively bisexual. Men love each other with their fists. Straight up the main character says having sex with women is the same thing as fighting men.

And it just doesn’t stop there. The homoerotic nature of the fights is never shyed away from. Here’s an example of my favorite.

He grabs his balls and compliments their size. That’s pretty gay, right? Well there’s this reanimated prehistoric caveman called Pickle that fights Baki’s brother Jack. And how do they fight? They kiss.

I didn’t call it a kiss. Itagaki did. I didn’t say they melded together. Itagaki did. This mangaka overtly calls attention to the homoerotic nature of men fighting men, and how men communicate their love for each other through violence. And yes, it’s sexual. Itagaki wants you to read it that way.

But sometimes he doesn’t want you to read it that way. Sometimes the fights are a dialogue, an emotional conversation. Like one between father and son.

Itagaki is a master of narrative framing. When he wants you to feel a certain way, you will feel it. He also tells his readers that there’s more to the fights than just fighting.

Those are the ideas that help me see the bones of Baki in other works. Men loving men with violence. Men communicating with men through violence. I see these ideas in Jujutsu Kaisen too.

Jujutsu Communication

I’ve gone over how Yuji commucates with other people on their own terms. And a lot of it is through fighting. A conversation without words, learning how someone works. Yuji is good at using fights as tool of communication.

But he’s not the one who tells you that there’s more to the fights than just fighting. Maki does in her spar with the sumo guy.

Just like Baki. Fighting is a means of communication. Gege has told you that there can be more to the fights than fighting. It's a tool used to understand the self and others.

With that in mind, I want to reexamine a particular fight under the lens of Baki rather than Umineko.

Sukuna vs Gojo

Baki tells you that homoerotic readings of its fights are intentional. If you ask me, this probably stems from historical stances on masculinity and homosexuality in ancient Japan. Men loved men and women differently, but both were ok. That’s how Baki can have a girlfriend and his gay fights. Peak bisexual optimization.

What does Jujutsu Kaisen have to do with this? Well it has been extremely queer friendly. We have a multidue of canonical trans characters, non-binary characters, and other flavors of queer characters not disparaged for their identities, Gojo Satoru included. It may not be stated outright, but Gojo and Geto do love each other in a gay way. The subtext is so persisent it’s basically text.

In other words, Gege has already told us, yes please have queer readings of this text. It’s the same way Baki tells you, yes this is straight up convoluded gay sex. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to reread the Sukuna and Gojo fight as some ridiculous mating display between two men who are fighting over can miscommunicate their intent the hardest.

Framed as Courtship

Let’s start with the framing. The pre-fight set up. How does text tell you queer readings are allowed?

Kenjaku does. It’s romantic. It’s a date. This reading has been made valid explicitly. And if there’s room for doubt because of the sarcasm? There’s still additional support for it.

We already know how badly in love Gojo is with Geto. The fight is on the 24th of December, the most romantic day in Japan. And in a fun little Geto parallel, who declared the start of war on this day, violence underlines this new romantic venture.

That doesn’t include Sukuna who recalls Yorozu’s words about teaching love in the context of marriage.

Gojo never heard that conversation which is why the next point is absolutely insane.

The outfit Gojo initially is in resembles that of a groom at a Shinto wedding.

Shinto weddings were implemented after the Heian era. Part of the ceremony includes a priest and a shrine maiden who respectively stand to the right and left of the altar. A purification ritual will occur, lead by the priest, to cleanse the shrine before vows are exchanged. Gakuganji is the priest and Utahime is the shrine maiden. To the right and left of Gojo respectively.

The bride at a Shinto wedding wears mainly white. After the 200% Hollow Purple cleanses the area, the dark shawl is removed and Sukuna remains in mostly white.

How interesting that this battle has been framed as one between groom and bride.

The thing is, marriage in the Heian era was far more lax. There were no major ceremonies. If a man was interested in marrying a woman, he would visit her for 3 nights after receiving approval from her father. Upon the passing of their 3rd night together, the family would have an informal celebration of their union in private. Even after marriage, multiple partners were allowed and sometimes encouraged.

Yorozu’s big celebration proposal to Sukuna and banning of concubines was quite improper by Heian standards. Though it is in line with modern marriages. If Sukuna did not consume any Shinto wedding literature, he probably didn’t recognize that Gojo was dressed as a groom.

But did Gojo dress this way for Sukuna intentionally? The Toji fit served an entirely different purpose. It’s the robes and pre-fight ceremony that catch my attention. So I propose the following:

1) Gojo dressed up as a groom to die and be wed with his one and only Geto in death.

2) Gojo dressed up as a groom in part as an offering to Sukuna. And because Sukuna is from the Heian era it went over his head entirely.

3) Gojo intended for both of these things at the same time and left who he would end up with to fate.

Regardless of what Gojo was going for here, it’s a visual cue combined with the knowledge of it being Dec 24th that encourages the reader to perhaps consider the fight as something other than just a fight. A date perhaps? Kenjaku made the connection and neither Gojo or Sukuna really denied it. Gojo gave the weak excuse of a death anniversary confusion. But much weirder, given how hostile he was to Yorozu, Sukuna did not object to the romantic framing in any capacity.

Am I reaching? Is this reading intentional?

When I start getting this confused by how a translated work wants me to read it, I try to refer to the original language text and anyone who knows it for missing context. Sometimes localizations add things that weren’t there or push readers towards one interpretation. So for the rest of this analysis, I’m going to be focusing on the raws.

I’m going to be honest. My Japanese fudging sucks. I can barely read kanji and can’t reliably translate anything. Feel free to correct me if I got something wrong. That being said, with what little I do know, I have discovered something interesting.

In this post I talked about how weird Sukuna’s manner of speech is. I focused on his you pronoun usage of お前 (Omae) for everyone else and 貴様 (Kisama) for Gojo since this is a strong indicator of how a character views their relationship to someone.

Here's a summary of the two points I made in that post:

1) Omae is informal and either a casual thing amongst peers or indicates the speaker's higher status. Since Sukuna is arrogant, we can reasonably assume he's talking down to people.

2) Kisama historically was a formal show of respect, but in modern times it is a hostile insult, much more rude than Omae. Since Sukuna is 1,000 years old and hates Yuji (who he uses Omae with), we can reasonably assume Sukuna was being friendly to Gojo when he used Kisama.

With that pronoun usage in mind, while examining the raws for the infamous “You Cleared My Skies” speech I found this:

Kisama. Sukuna is very happy and lavishing Gojo with praise. The assumption it was formal from the start seems to be correct. It's hard to read this any other way.

Though Japanese can easily be dubious in its interpretation, there are instances where context can cut off all other readings. I truly believe this one of those cases.

Now, to confirm Sukuna is still only treating Gojo this way I started looking at his you pronouns as he got excited post-Gojo death. Maki is the person he seems to admire the most.

He’s still just using Omae. What does that mean? Gojo is in his own fudging category for Sukuna and he has been there since the start of the manga. (For more on why this is significant, refer to this post.)

Wow ok. That’s pretty intense! We’ve got Gojo dressed up as a groom on December 24th and Sukuna treating Gojo different from anyone else. I read their fight again under the lens of explicit courtship and focused in on these specific panels.

Satisfaction. Now that’s a word that can easily carry a sexual connotation. Love as well. The parallel syntax fascinated me in English. So I decided to look at the raws and see how close they are.

Pretty much the same except for "the one who will teach you love" and "the one satisfying him now". Since the one being satisfied is Gojo by Sukuna, it really seems we can assume the one being taught love is Gojo by Sukuna.

Time to learn some Japanese again!

Kanji has multiple readings. Most have at least two. The Onyomi (Chinese) reading typically used for nouns and the Kunyomi (Japanese) reading typically used for verbs. (This is not always the case but it’s the basics.)

That’s probably why 満 is read as まん (man) when Gojo and Geto are talking about “satisfaction” using the On version and み (mi), the Kun version, when the narrator is talking about who “satisfies” who.

However 満 on its own does not mean satisfaction. It means full. To be filled. Or fullness. 足 (zoku) is added as a modifier after 満 to be read as satisfaction 満足 (manzoku). 足 usually means feet, but it can also mean to be sufficient. Manzoku therefore has a direct translation of being sufficiently full. It’s not a surprise a lot of food places in Japan use Manzoku in their names or advertising.

But what’s this? Why is this sentence written as 満たして or Mi(tashite) instead of 満足して or Manzoku(shite)? The addition of Zoku is what transforms Man into "satisfying". Without the Zoku, it’s just "fill". The means this sentence can be read as “The one filling him up now is—”

We’ve already established that the blank is Sukuna. The new problem is that he’s filling Gojo up. And boy, does that sound homoerotic to put it lightly. But perhaps I am reaching.

So I did what any sane person would do in this situation. I read hentai.

Surely if the phrase 満たして (mitashite) can carry a sexual connotation I will find it in hentai.

...

I immediately found a yaoi doujin called Fill me with your Big Love aka おっきな愛で満たして (Okkina Ai de Mitashite). Honestly, I found too many doujins about creampies specifically. (You have internet access verify this yourself.) When you search Manzokushite the results are much more in line with life satisfaction than sexual satisfaction. ...So Gege decided to use the more frisky phrasing.

Manzoku is also the name of an active sex toy manufacturer (I’m not linking them use a search engine.) and a discontinued adult entertainment news company. So the satisfaction Gojo and Geto talk about, along with Geto using 妬 (ya), the jealous kanji often used between lovers, is definitely probably carrying a sexual connotation too.

So, I’m not reaching. What the fudge did Gege mean by this?

Now that we've established that I am NOT reaching. What do we do with this information?

Well, we ruminate on the fight with the knowledge that Sukuna, of his own volition, decided to get Gojo off, probably.

I have forgiven Nanami for calling Gojo a pervert. If I watched someone bust a nut after being cut in half by his sworn enemy instead of saving the country, I too would be like what the fudge.

Anyways, the typical phrase used for an orgasm in Japanese is 行く(iku). It translates as to go. And yes it can mean to die, as in going to the other side. To die and go to heaven if you will. Which is what Gojo did with a big old smile on his face.

There’s also the term 心天 (tokoroten). It refers to a dish were a semi-opaque white substance is pushed through holes to create noodles. Literal translation using the kanji for heart 心 (kokoro) and the kanji for heaven 天 (ten). (Don’t ask me why them being smack together turns the Koroko into Tokoro. I don’t know.) Which in slang refers to prostate orgasms. This has nothing to do with this analysis I wanted to drop this fun fact in here. …And this image of Sukuna clutching his heart while looking at someone he sent to heaven.

(This is a reach but the idea of this being an elaborate gay pun amuses me greatly.)

I have another fun slang term: 賢者タイム (kenjataimu) which directly translates to sage 賢者 (kenja) time タイム (taimu). This refers to post-nut clarity sending someone into a meditative-like state.

Oh that’s a bit familiar. Sukuna was giving sagely advice to Kashimo and reflecting on satisfaction and love.

And what’s this? Mitashite has made a reappearance! Sukuna is saying “I’ve never thought about needing another person to fill me up.” Which 1. further supports the 'The one satisfying/filling him (Gojo) now is—Sukuna.' reading and 2. suggests Sukuna is a top suggests Sukuna really doesn’t have sexual interest in people. (Since the context of this convo is relationships and love.)

By the way. Acts of eating in Japanese can be modified to carry sexual meanings. It’s a bit more suggestive than English, but it carries over pretty well I think? 肉食系 (nikusokukei) refers to someone who aggresively pursues romantic or sexual relationships. Composed of the kanji 肉 (niku) for meat, 食 (ta) for eating, and 系 (kei) class. If you noticed, 食 isn’t usually read as Soku. It becomes Soku when paired with Niku for some reason. (I don’t know why someone please help me.) Side by side the kanji 肉食 (nikusoku) means meat-eater.

食 is still interesting on it’s own. The 食べる (taberu) reading is normal eating. The 食う(kuu) reading is an innuendo. It can mean to devour someone, like a cannibal, or devour someone sexually.

Sukuna has made it very clear that his eating of people is literal. There’s no innuendo. In fact, if you read into it, he’ll kill you (rip Yorozu and Kashimo).

Gojo, however, appears to be his sole exception to this rule. When Sukuna tells Kashimo not to spoil his pleasure he uses the kanji 興 (kyou). This of course can be directly translated as pleasure, but the Chinese reading of it can also indicate intense excitement or sexual arousal.

Sukuna is pretty good at double-entendre wordplay if his earlier stunts with the kanji for Enchain doubling as Megumi Activities if read a different way is anything to go by. He's a fan of Chinese literature. It's not a stretch to assume there's more going on here.

And if notoriously homophobic Reddit dudebros are posting things like this. Maybe there's a lot more merit to this reading than I can currently grasp.

I’m still pretty convinced Sukuna is aroace. That of course doesn’t bar him from pursuing romantic or sexual relationships. Sometimes there’s the one exception. Sometimes the desire to be with and please an allo partner allows for engagement of activities they aren’t into. Sometimes the actions are pursued without the emotional attachment because they physically feel good. There’s also the gray-scale and demi labels to consider.

With that in mind, I want to emphasize this all points to how important Gojo is to Sukuna regardless of sexuality. He tried to engage with and understand Gojo on terms he won’t for anyone else. And he’s been pursuing this connection relentlessly since the start of manga.

Sukuna’s Negative Rizz

Ok I established that reading the Sukuna vs Gojo fight as unhinged courtship is supported by the text. That doesn’t really say anything about Sukuna sucking at it.

But, my dear reader, that in of itself is proof of his negative rizz. I had to sit down. Learn about Heian era and Shinto wedding rituals, learn more Japanese, splice seemingly unrelated manga panels together, read hentai, and know that Gege is into yaoi to come to this conclusion. I had to rip every little shred of characterization and context apart and rearrange it into something comprehensible.

You know who can’t do that? Gojo.

As far as Gojo is concerned, Sukuna hates him. Kisama is an extremely hostile you pronoun in modern times. And if Gojo can’t tell Shoko (his closest friend after Geto) is stressed over him being used like a meat puppet by her visibly falling back on her addiction, he’s going to default to the assumption Sukuna hates him just as much as everyone else.

And Gojo does just that. He assumes he failed to reach Sukuna. Despite how often they did hand to hand combat and weaponized their knowledge of each other, Gojo believes they never had proper conversation through fighting. He dies not understanding Sukuna, convinced the other was not trying to communicate with him at all.

And if you recall, all of this fight occurred while Sukuna was wearing Megumi’s face. That boy is pretty much Gojo’s adopted child. From my experience, most single parents do not go looking for clones of their kids as partners.

If someone wore the skin of my family member I would assume they were trying to torment me. And torment Gojo Sukuna does. He draws attention to Megumi’s soul being used as collateral and attacks him with the 10 Shadows. We as the audience know this is all for the sake of getting past Infinity using his Shrine. Gojo doesn’t know that. He’s fighting an evil dude who is puppeting the body of his son for god knows what reason.

Seriously, Sukuna sucks at communicating intent.

In Part 3 of my examination of Sukuna’s loneliness, I said Dismantle is a tool Sukuna uses to understand. And that him upgrading it by making Gojo the center of his world was indicative of his desire to reach him. I also said his refusal to use it on Yorozu was him expressing how little interest he had in her.

Yorozu is pissed by this. She sees it as Sukuna rejecting her and I don’t think she’s wrong. Sukuna saved his special Cursed Technique (CT) for Gojo while turning Yorozu down. If we’re considering all the wedding imagery and references that started with Yorozu, I’m certainly allowed to read that as him saving himself for Gojo. (Think of how he lied to Gojo about being the first one he killed.)

There’s also the fact that Yorozu saw their battle as an expression love and lust—that the usage of CT is a type of foreplay under certain circumstances since it is an extension of the self. Combine that with the established premise that fighting is a type of a communication thanks to Maki vs Sumo Guy and you can start to see the courtship logic behind Sukuna’s treatment of Gojo.

If we are to read “The one who will teach you love is…Sukuna” there’s another adorable caveat. Yorozu uses the you pronoun あなた (Anata) for Sukuna.

It’s an informal you pronoun used by people learning Japanese. Native speakers try to avoid using it as it can come across as rude. But in the context of love? This is colloquially called the wife pronoun as its often used by a wife to her husband.

If you wanted to localize its usage in the way Yorozu means it, Anata might become “you, dear”. So here we have Sukuna dressed in white, like a bride to Gojo’s groom, thinking of him as Anata.

The problem is, Gojo doesn’t know that. Sukuna never bothered to open his mouth and say this was an act of love. Sure he told Kashimo in the most roundabout way possible, but Gojo was the one who needed to hear that. If a courtship is going to be this diabolically complicated, there has to be clear hints for the other party. JJK is not Umineko where there’s a witch that can revive the dead over and over until the idiot finally understands this was all for them.

Gojo also doesn’t have access to the kanji Sukuna uses to describe certain techinques or words. He hears the phonetics and runs with whatever best fits the context. This means there’s no way for him to catch the double-meaning unless he’s a certain type of lingust, which he is not. His manner of speech and personal interests don’t line up with the flowery language of the Heian Era. The types of written works Gojo is into are historical war politics from the Sengoku period (known for violence more than the fine arts), Shonen manga, and physics/math.

And what's this? According to CFYOW (the canon light novels): JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 3 Asakusabashi Elegy, Gojo doesn't even like ancient poetry. You know, the thing Sukuna enjoys and tries to communicate with.

The Kokin Wakashu Gojo off-handedly disparages is a compilation of Hiean Era poetry known as Waka. This was the primary means of communication amongst the noble class and spiritual leaders at the time. And the thing is, this poetry is supposed to be read into. Down to the quality of stroke and paper, not just the kanji written. Especially for courtship.

It’s not that Gojo is stupid. He just doesn’t specialize in the studies that would give him a more critical ear to Sukuna's words. And Sukuna doesn’t seem to understand that no one in the modern era communicates like this anymore.

If you didn’t know, this is why Japanese characters introduce themselves they often describe what kanji their name is spelled with. Take for example: Satoru. He uses the kanji 悟 meaning enlightenment. This kanji can be read as Go instead of Satoru. Additionally, the name Satoru can be written in kanji as 聡 for smart, 智 for wisdom, 知 for knowledge, 了 for understanding, 哲 for philosophy, 聖 for virtuous, or 暁 for daybreak. That’s 8 different kanji possible if you hear the name Satoru.

This is why Sukuna’s wordplay for everything else can be easily missed by other characters. They hear the words and cannot read the kanji like us. Context decides what Sukuna means for them. And since Sukuna’s context for most is violence and insults, it’s very hard for them to think about his words in any other way.

And boy howdy does Gojo miss it. Sukuna straight up calls him his husband and it took me several rereads to catch it. While mocking Gojo for being unable to open his domain, Sukuna calls him "painfully ordinary". This is localized from the word 凡夫 (bonpu) which can also be translated as unenlightened. (A layered insult! Sukuna is pretty much saying Gojo's sorcery is so boring he shouldn't even call himself the Honored One.)

The thing is...Bonpu is comprised of the 2 kanji 凡 for mediocre, and 夫 for husband. (Please note that there are many other ways to call Gojo a ditz without using the kanji for husband.) And an update from the Replies: Turns out there's layers to the gayness too.

It's come full fudging circle. Gojo came dressed as a groom for a wedding and Sukuna thinks they're already married. The miscommunication is off the rails.

But wait! There's more...

Earlier I mentioned that the kanji for Enchain doubles as Megumi Activities. Let's break that down more. (Unfortunately the Twitter account of the person I referenced may or may not be nuked so here's this screenshot I've doctored.)

So we have the translation of Enchain from 契闊 (Keikatsu), which might be better localized as Separation.

This term comes from a Chinese poem about lovers who are husband and wife in The Book of Odes, Section I (Lessons from the States), Chapter 3 (The Odes of Bei), Poem 31 (Banging the Drum). (Here's a link to the full poem and context of it.)

In summary, it’s about a soldier who is on the brink of death, having lost nearly everything after being abandoned by those in power, lamenting the happiest days of his life with his love are ones he can never get back. (Hey that sounds just like what Sukuna did to Yuji!)

Keikatsu specifically comes from this passage:

“Our vow is beyond death and life”, I and you are together I always remembered. I will hold your hand, And together we grow old.

Too pitiful we are faraway apart, The distance separates us to meet again! Too miserable this takes forever, And it does not let us fulfill our vow!

Keikatsu is used to exemplify how the physical distance between the husband and wife prevents them from fulfilling their wedding vows. And that's just what Keikatsu/Enchain does to Yuji and Megumi, it causes painful separation neither of them wanted.

Keikatsu also tells Yuji exactly how Sukuna plans to do it. 契(kei)闊(katsu) can be written as 恵(kei)活(katsu). The kanji 恵 can be read as Kei or...Megumi. (It's the literal kanji used for his name.) The kanji 活 (katsu) can mean "activities", which is how we get Enchain=Megumi Activities.

A two for one special! Sukuna mocks Yuji for being so close with Megumi while telling him exactly how he's going to destroy their relationship.

It seems this has nothing to do with Gojo until you consider the 3rd possible reading from wordplay with 契闊 (Keikatsu). The kanji 契 when read as Kei refers to a promise, pledge or vow. When 契 read as Chigi? It can refer to sexual intercourse, especially between husband and wife.

So we have 契闊(keikatsu, separation), 恵(kei Megumi)活(katsu, activities), and 契(kei chigi, spousal sex)活(katsu, activities). It's no wonder he erased Yuji's memory of it.

Keep in mind, that when Sukuna uses Keikatsu, the only vow that he has made at this point is his promise to kill Gojo. He eventually does that using Megumi's body during a fight framed between groom and bride. And for reasons beyond their control, Sukuna and Gojo have been unable to fulfill that vow through lengthy separation.

Notes from poem "Banging the Drum" Sukuna references include the following:

"And during the operation, he lost his horse, which was a desperate situation (horses in ancient time carried soldier supply and weapons, are life companion for soldiers in advance or retreat), he lost his horse, his supply, maybe his armor and weapons, and the road he was facing that we may lose his life so he may never go back. In all these mess, he started searching, and somehow at this hopeless moment he started to revisit his happiest moment, when he together vowed in marriage ceremony with his wife, and he was even afraid that he might never see his love again."

"And His last statement for his true value is his home, his love, his fulfillment of his vow is his true duty. Hero's duty is to pursue love."

In Buddhism, which JJK is heavily influenced by, horses are a pretty big deal. Horses can represent the path to enlightenment, especially since The Buddha's horse is what takes him on this journey away from his wife and children. They separate in the end though, the horse dying of a broken heart.

Remember how Sukuna called Gojo unenlightened? He sort of guided Gojo to enlightenment using Mahoraga, whose Eight-Handed title is a reference to the Eightfold Path to be followed for enlightenment. Buddhist enlightenment is centered around liberation from suffering. (Just check the wiki entry to verify this.) Infinity was the source of Gojo's suffering and Sukuna cut right through it.

Sukuna has been running around with a broken heart for a good chunk of the post-Gojo fight. And if you take that into consideration with this poem and all the other symbolism, he's somehow a Buddha, a Bodhisattva, the dying husband, the widowed wife, and the heartbroken horse all at the same time. Not unlike his wordplay taking on every possible meaning at once.

But my point here is that Sukuna might’ve seen his fight with Gojo as consummation of their marriage. (There's probably a joke in here about the husband reaching climax while leaving his wife unsatisfied.) Remember in the wise words of Itagaki Keisuke, "Fighting and sex are exactly the same!"

In Conclusion?

This is possibly one of the most bizarre and elaborate expressions of love I have lost my mind over. Sukuna gave everything Gojo ever wanted from Jujutsu violently. He did it in such an unpleasant and cruel way that the target of his affection thought there was nothing between them. Sukuna also hid his intent under social norms that no longer exist. Unless Gojo happened to be into ancient literature, there was never a scenario where he would catch onto this. Sukuna's failure is critical on multiple levels.

It’s impressive. It really is. No one knows how Sukuna’s strange little brain works so he’s stuck being loner without anyone that fully understands him. (I’m still thinking about how Uraume didn’t know Sukuna was a twin for over 1,000 years.) He’d have to let people in and tell him outright, but he’s just like Gojo so I guess that’s never happening.

[jestroer]

I love being a part of hermitcraft fandom, not a single normal person in sight, I think sometimes am i being too weird and then i see my mutual being absolutely fucking insane on dash and think ah no im fine actually 

[kagoutiss]

oot zelda doodle i liked :’-)))

[stefgagaxo]

Private: I'm not cute, baby, I'm hot, sexy, groundbreaking, all of the best superlatives... but so beyond cute (I'm kidding, of course, call me whatever you want any day of the week, love of my life.) A sibling meet-up sounds like fun, you know that I want to know more about you and your world and the people you love. I just want to be every part of your life, in a non-obsessive, fangirling kind of way. I'm insulted, the egg was... well, hot, sexy, groundbreaking, all of the best superlatives – if it haunts you, it better only be in the best possible way. Thank you, my beloved Jess, as always. You almost know my career as well as the Little Monsters. You can be the biggest Little Monster once you learn all of the dance moves. Which hair?! I have a lot of wigs, or does Augustus like my bleach blonde look? That would mean a lot. It takes a lot, you know, to commit to bleached eyebrows. It's a lot of work. Gi can play it as cool as she wants, blasé is the new batshit insane. Mmm, I don't know how I feel about fucking with the Krasinskis. Imagining the harsh words Em might have in store for him when she finds out he knew before her and it's not pretty. She's very British. Ugh, I just want everyone to know that you're mine, but I also want to protect "us" from the world, you know? It's a very mixed-feeling thing. I would love to come to Berlin but press is stealing my life and joy right now. If that changes, you'll be the first –– wait, that's actually not a terrible idea. Any of it. Fuck, I can do interviews from Berlin, or on the damn plane, I wanna be with you, more than anything.

[PRIVATE]: Weirdos that raised an even cuter weirdo, that makes sense. One of these days we have to do a sibling meet-up, because I a world where Laci, Nicole, Will, and Natali don't all know each other is an odd one to live in. Not the egg. That's going to haunt all of us, who are we kidding? But don't worry, I think you're uniquely narcissistic and psycho. Never forget it. They love you so much, I don't think you realize just how cool they think you are, you know. I hear from Augustus all the time, at least, that he likes your hair and wants to learn all the dances to your songs. Gi plays it a little cooler but she's the same. I'm not trying to destroy any marriage! Especially not ours so soon in it. John can learn to keep a secret from his wife, and not get us both raked over the coals for it, and Emily can find out...in due time. Might need to be sooner rather than later, since I don't know how much longer I can go not bragging that you're my wife. Like now, when you get all sweet and cute and soft and I just want to squeeze you into my luggage for Berlin. Can't you just come with me? And then we can fly to Australia together so we don't have to be apart for more than 10 seconds? You can sleep on me on the plane, I'll give you your back scratches that I know you love, don't make me sweeten the deal any more.

[this-midnight-prayer]

Bonus:

“Edible Complex” writer Jonathan Lisco dissects Yellowjackets’s long-awaited feast.

[rhymaes]

The Untamed, Ep. 11 // The Untamed, Ep. 48

[xysidhequeen]

I know in your Red Knight AU, Jason when on the rampage in another realm, after finding out that Batman replace him with another Robin.

Did Danny manage to be there for him during that time?

He did! Danny was always there for Jason. He actually wanted to chase after Jason immediately, but luckily, the first thing he did was panic call Jazz, absolutely out of his mind. Jazz promptly told Danny to let Jason have some space for a little bit to process.

Which was for the best, really. Jason needed to not feel like he was trapped and that he could be angry. He never really got that before. But the most important thing is Danny came after him and brought him home. Jason needed to feel like he could be angry, but also, like his anger wouldn't mean he'd be punished or abandoned. It was a very delicate time for him, but Danny, Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and all our favorite ghosts made sure Jason knew he was very much wanted still. And that he was utterly irreplaceable.

Skulker handled this by breaking all of his weapons and suits overnight and saying he didn't know how to fix them. (Jason very much knew what he was doing, but the time spent on fixing things helped ground him)

Ember handled this by announcing that she couldn't possibly ever sing ever again unless her only other band member was there (Still very obvious, but music time with Ember usually devolved into very necessary crying time. A lot of ice cream was consumed)

Johnny and Kitty handled this by getting into a MASSIVE fight and refusing to speak to each other unless Jason mediated. (This actually was far less obvious, as the two tend to get into fights often. No one is actually certain if the fight was fake or not to this day, but they also haven't broken up once since and Jason is incredibly proud of that)

Fright Knight handled this by.... well, actually, he took the blunt approach and told Jason there was no one in any realm dead or alive he'd ever consider worthy to be his apprentice besides Jason. (This was highly effective as Frighty has always been bluntly honest with Jason. He didn't wholly believe it but it was a comfort. Frighty then beat his ass in a spar and he didn't think of much else)

Basically, everyone was there for Jason. Not just Danny. Jason was made to feel like his anger and hurt were valid, because they were. But he was also not just told, but shown how precious he was to every life he touched. He didn't get it, not at first and he struggled to really believe it.

It wasn't until later, after Danny opened up more about his own trauma and the effects it had on him that Jason actually began to somewhat understand more of what Jazz meant when she said Danny was getting better. He pieced more of the story together from the others to paint a better picture, and that's when it clicked for him. As much as he needed Danny, Danny had needed him just as much. (Clockwork may have had a hand in this as well, but whatever those two talked about, no one will ever know)

Also, as an aside, once everything calmed down, Danny was very pleased to learn the rebelling realm was now back under control and quite terrified of the Ghost King and his Knight. It saved him so much paperwork.

So yeah, this was a bit all over the place, but hopefully, it answers your question. Team Phantom and the ghosts are basically a very large family, and they might fight and bicker, but they seriously pull through and muster together if anyone is hurting. They're a bit clumsy sometimes with it, but the love they all feel is very obvious. I really, really wanted to give Jason a much more healthy origin story into becoming Red Hood than he got in canon. The poor boy went through enough. It was past time for him to get to heal.

Jason still has some hangups. His abandonment issues are still there, and his fear of rejection. But it's not as bad as it was, and because he'd been allowed to express his anger without being punished(or enabled, anger is a fine emotion to feel. But you should never let it consume you) for it, he figured out how to manage it.

He might still slip now, and then, he has trauma, and that won't go away. But Danny will never, ever let him fall. Neither will the rest of the weird little eclectic family they've built.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

reading Green Arrow (2001) right now and I literally love the Heaven sequence so much. This shit is so funny.

[cloudbends]

[ID: a digital drawing of amethio from pokemon horizons: the series. he's depicted from the waist up and his back facing the viewer, seen putting a second glove on his hand and turning with his face to look at the viewer with a stern expression. the background is a muted purple, with a red circle framing his head. end ID.]

a full year late with drawing what has to be the most a character has ever been made to be an instant fav of mine.

[13eyond13]

actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew

[pinkopalina]

I love hearing people's batjokes shipping origins because a lot of them are like omg yeah the lego movie omg yeah telltale omg yeah deadly duo and killing joke meanwhile mine was learning about batman who laughs :)

[thelivingautomaton]

alright, since the Remedy brainworms got me I've been replaying Control, got to the AWE expansion last night and picking up on all the echoes/foreshadowing for Alan Wake 2 is making me go utterly bonkers, but like. has anyone picked up on or talked about how in all of Alan's Hotline messages to Jesse, when he's writing about her POV, he exclusively calls her 'Faden'

like, maybe it didn't poke my brain the first time I played it since he does the same thing when talking about Hartman, but coming from AW2 it's pretty jarring as a stylistic oddity...almost like there's a reason (in-universe and/or out-of-universe) that he doesn't call her 'Jesse'...almost like there's only one Faden in his story...

and given how in AW2 we also get some (quasi-) clarification regarding the limits of Alan's ability to "make stuff up" vs alter and rewrite "real-world" events that he sees in clairvoyant flashes...given the Night Springs screenplay pages you can find in AWE that parallels the FBC and the events of Control (i.e. a Director and a Scientist opening a portal to another dimension, finding an eldritch Entity, the Director trying to take its power for himself and then getting taken over before shooting himself)...given how literally all of the "dreams" Dylan tells Jesse about are descriptions/viewings of stuff that takes place on one level of reality or another ("I was the director and you were an intern"; "we were in a game, and it was a fucking boring game but you couldn't stop playing it"; Mister Door, and "a world with a writer writing about a cop, and another world where the writer was real"; a "musical" about Jesse), except, seemingly, the dream about "Jesse Dylan Faden"...

guys. are you picking up what I'm putting down here. guys. GUYS