#this is about my father fyi
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Nothing more irritating than narrow-minded people who wish to pretend they are knowledgeable intellectuals.
#this is about my father fyi#if he ever read something that doesn't come from people who share his biases he would die instantly i fear#like he wants so badly to be perceived as knowledgeable but he is so blatantly ignorant (and willfully so!) about other stuff...#who are you performing for. not your sons not your wife. bc we all are more naturally curious and culture oriented than you?#i feel i should remind him more often that one time he couldn't wrap his mind around the cyrillic alphabet descending from...#...the greek one and not the latin#yeah. that's his goddamn level. i don't know what to call it. latin-centric???#also god forbid he adopt something other than black and white thinking and admit spain did commit atrocities in the colonial era!#part of me thinks it's just his raging inferiority complex that is aggravated by the belated realisation that his...#...wife&kids are more culturally knowlegeadble than he is#like he feels like he should be as [pater familias] the most knowing. and he just. Isn't.#he needs to feel like he is teaching us something and he just can't#that's his tragedy. but he could at least be a little dignified about it.#anywayssss here ends my personal rant lol#me.txt
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Kyoshi: Listen Aang, we have a lot in common. Aang: Kyoshi please, I'm afraid of this comparison. Kyoshi: We're both of Air Nomad descent. Aang: I don't believe you! Kyoshi: Deal with it cuz! Anyway, we're both also estranged from our parents. Aang: Fine, guess we're doing this. Kyoshi: We were both mentored/surrogate-ly raised by a male monk who knew our previous incarnation. Aang: That's kinda cool. Kyoshi: We both had to rush learning the elements in less than a year, and had to just wing it when it came to Avataring. Aang: Go on. Kyoshi: Our firebending master/companion is a descendent of our previous Avatar's firebending companion. Aang: Oh neat! *remembers it's Sozin*....kinda..... Kyoshi: We've both had to deal with our previous Avatar's companion going evil and harming us, the current Avatar. Kuruk: Kyoshi we've talked about this- Kyoshi: How could you not see he was evil, Kuruk?! Kuruk: Kyoshi he hadn't turned evil yet! Kyoshi: HE KILLED MY FATHER! Kuruk: I know and I'm sorry! Kyoshi, back to Aang: We've both had to deal with the world being an absolute fuck fest because of our previous incarnations actions! Kuruk: Hey! That's not my fault, I had to clean up Yangchen's mess. Yangchen: Gimme a break, I had to deal with the same bs because of Szeto! Kyoshi: I fucking hate Szeto. Kuruk: I know Kyoshi, we all do. Yangchen: Glad he's in the ground. Aang: I don't hate Szeto. Kyoshi: Aang, not so fast. Szeto's probs the reason the Fire Nation is like that to begin with. He probs gave Sozin all those crazy ideas. Aang: ..... D: Aang: ....I think I might hate Szeto.
#avatar the last airbender#rise of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi#shadow of kyoshi spoilers#i wanted to make a lil post about their parallels :'3#but i needed to let my szeto slander seep in ok?#avatar convos#lowkey inspired by kyoshist's videos kfdljsk;fljdsjf#avatar parallels#kelsang is her father just an fyi uwu#the curse of szeto#i hope Reckoning of Roku shows some kinda Szeto shadow over him#i like the idea of him being a big focal point of a horrible domino effect happening to the other Avatars for generations TT0TT#i want this mfer to have more influence than Wan did jdsfklkjfa
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Syndroma Holmiensis
Things are different now. That was the last advice Mikulin's father had given him. The Imperium is the biggest gang on the whole planet. The Night Haunter's gang. Stick with them and you'll do fine, son.
His father had lost an eye in a streetfight years ago and the bribe to fit an augmetic was far beyond their means. Mikulin tried to focus twice as much on the other eye instead, solid depthless black like those of every other Nostraman, as it gleamed with something like desperation combined with raw avarice.
Was it hope, he wondered? Something so rare on the Sunless World that they'd had to steal the Gothic word to describe it exactly. Whatever sibiliant kennings and poetic phrases his ancestors had used to subtly imply the possibility of a better future were gone now. Inefficient in comparison to the language of their new overlords.
Most of the time Mikulin found it hard to care overmuch. His ancestors had mined adamantium and murdered one another in the dark for century upon century and achieved nothing. Built nothing. Created nothing but further generations of void-eyed killers.
Until the Night Haunter came. He who flayed and freed Nostramo, pinned the planet down and eviscerated it inch by inch, block by block, heart by heart and corpse by corpse until nothing was left but order and a full stomach.
Mikulin loved the Night Haunter. Mikulin feared the Night Haunter.
It was natural for him to hold both thoughts simultaneously. He loved and feared his father too, didn't he? A strong provider, working shifts in the mine when the work was there and doing what he had to when it wasn't. But also a monster when he'd been paid and given the money straight back to the company bar.
When he was old enough to work they moved to the nearest great city, Nostramo Secundus. Dear Grey Place, the Adamantite City, a hive built into a vast outcropping of ore-bearing rock that jutted out into the roiling black ocean.
His father had called it a promotion, but the truth came out eventually. The mine bosses were scared that his drunken actions, his too-public offences against the new rules of society, would bring the Night Haunter to them. And the Night Haunter rarely found just one criminal worthy of punishment when paying a visit.
Far safer, therefore, to send the problem away into the teeming masses of the nearest hive city. Losing the work had destroyed his father but Secundus gave Mikulin a new razorgang to run with and all the freedom he was brave enough to steal. And he had the Night Haunter to thank for it.
Mikulin loved the Night Haunter. Mikulin feared the Night Haunter.
Mikulin cared little and knew less of the other demigods who had come later, surrounded by an inferno of blinding light and guarding their father the Emperor. Such events, occurring so far away in the capital, were of little importance to remote grey Secundus. Only the Night Haunter mattered because time and distance meant nothing to him. He could be anywhere on Nostramo, seeing and hearing all in his domain and dispensing punishment to the high and the low alike.
Mikulin loved the Night Haunter. Mikulin feared the Night Haunter.
Then the news reached Secundus that the Night Haunter had left to join his father and brothers in conquering the galaxy for humanity. Mikulin had looked up at the coldly glinting stars and felt a twist of envious fury in his gut. They had taken Nostramo's king from his people and wouldn't even use his name.
Konrad Curze, the Emperor had called him. An alien name from an alien being. Mikulin knew it was the Night Haunter who Nostramo's first Astartes followed into the void, him and no other.
They had tested Mikulin once for suitability. Just put your hand in the box on the servitor's chest. A brief sting and a few moments later the verdict was given - negative. Elevated hereditary cancer risk and other minor genetic flaws not meeting the threshold of mutation, the magos biologis announced before moving on to the next prospective recruit.
Stick with the Night Haunter's gang, his father had said. So Mikulin had apprenticed himself to the Administratum, serving the new Planetary Governor appointed in the Night Haunter's place. One of the first natives to join, they said.
Natives grated in his mind like two ends of a broken bone. We weren't natives before you came, before you took him away. We were ourselves. But things are different now.
The first time he really saw offworlders up close he'd just about managed not to stare, or grimace in the closed-off Nostraman way which, to the initiated, was just as expressive as a scream. Someone has put coins in your eyes, he'd thought irrationally, or broken glass in different colours. It happened sometimes as punishment for people who sold out their gangmates or saw things they shouldn't have.
It took him a long while to accept that it was just how they were, the same way they walked the street wrong, slowly, looking at the sights around them like prey. Behaving like that would get a Nostraman killed but, collectively, there seemed to be an indulgence for offworlders.
They didn't know what the people said or thought about them and they didn't have to care. Often Mikulin found himself hating them, hating their accents and their language at the same time as he learned to mimic both to rise up in their organisation.
The outsiders planned great things for Nostramo in the Imperium. We can make this world so much better, someone with eyes the colour of ice melting into slush told him. Mikulin said nothing.
They built Nostramo Secundus a botanical garden to rival any city in the Imperium. A vast adamantium-ribbed dome of glass filled with a kaleidoscope of verdant colour and shape tended by specialised horticultural servitors, the whole edifice illuminated by numberless ultraviolet and visible-spectrum lamps to allow the plantlife to thrive even on the Sunless World.
On the wall surrounding their creation, where Mikulin had to pass every day to reach the Administratum complex, the offworlders had commissioned some famed remembrancer to paint a mural of a lush, rolling Terran landscape lit by a rising sun and bearing the title LET NOSTRAMO FLOURISH.
The people of Nostramo Secundus hated it and the building it adorned. The cost of entry was high enough to exclude all but the wealthiest and every Nostraman visitor had to wear thick eyeshades or else suffer hours of headache and near-blindness, all just to look at plants. Mystifying.
Mikulin had access to the records of just how much power, water and heat the gardens drew away from the rest of the city. How many hab-tenements could the same resources support instead? He had calculated it once on a scrap of parchment and the answer sickened him.
The Night Haunter would have judged the creation in an instant, razed it to the ground and impaled the builders among the wreckage. Eventually Mikulin came to realise that the gardens were never really intended for him or any other native, only to improve the lot of the offworlders condemned to serve the Imperium on dark forbidding Nostramo.
Once, without thinking, he'd saluted an Administratum superior in the Nostraman way, hand clawed over his heart to say may it be torn out if I am untrue. The condescension and pity in their eyes had struck him like a physical blow.
Damn you all, he thought, eyes stinging with a shame he couldn't begin to process. Take your costume-jewellery eyes and your costume-jewellery Imperium and leave us alone like we always should have been. Our world was already better. We were already better.
Mikulin loved the Night Haunter. Mikulin feared the Night Haunter.
Mikulin grew old slowly, the decay held back by juvenats and technology for as long as the Administratum had the budgetary headroom to provide. Nostramo seemed to rot quickly in comparison. The nobility and oligarchs reappeared with new names and faces but the same blood in their veins, the same corruption in their hearts, and no Night Haunter any more to excise them like a chirurgeon.
He didn't remember exactly when it happened, but one work cycle he realised that the Imperium was no longer the biggest gang on the planet. Work orders, requisitions, suicide statistics, every item of paperwork that used to filter upwards to the Administratum had slowed to a trickle and eventually just stopped.
Mikulin continued to attend the office and the Administratum continued to pay him, but in reality the alternative government of the gangs and nobles had slipped into place like a knife between ribs to quietly usurp both their functions.
Eventually the last offworlders left Secundus. No one would say whether it was voluntary. Their replacements were black-eyed and loyal only to the shifting politics of the warlords they followed. They funnelled the city's sparse resources to pay debts and shore up alliances before the newer, hungrier gangs overthrew them and were consumed in turn by their own children in the incestuous reproductive cycle that was as irredeemably Nostraman as the smog filling up their lungs.
Through it all, Mikulin of the Administratum was present, observed and said nothing. They treated him with something like respect - that rarest of things, an elderly Nostraman.
In the end it was Mikulin who finally closed down the botanical gardens. Let the plants rot and the gangs split the proceeds however they pleased. He left and went back to his tenement, hobbling slowly the same way he did everything else now, and went past that accursed mural once again.
It had been smashed and defaced countless times, the people of Nostramo Secundus giving vent to their fury at the image of an idyllic fantasy they would never possess. The rising sun was blotted out by an arterial splash of black paint and, above it all, someone had scrawled new blood-red lettering to change the painting's title.
LET NOSTRAMO PERISH.
#first story i've written in about 8 years lol#be gentle with me#they call it secundus (what) the adamantite city#of course nostramo has tenements#you can have a few scottish cultural references as a treat#name stolen from Joseph Conrad#just as the founding fathers intended#it makes sense that normie eyes would be equally weird to nostramans#*slaps juvenats* these babies can support so much timeline vagueness#fanfic#fanfiction#writing#horus heresy#warhammer 40000#wh40k#warhammer 40k#wh30k#night lords#konrad curze#night haunter#nostramo#my view isn't that konrad's nostramo had no crime so much as it had a lot of well-concealed crime fyi#neves writes
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explaining ur feelings to someone and them saying like 'sure' or something so u keep talking abt what hurt you but then realising they were being sarcastic hurts so bad it cant just be me
#alex says shit#alex is an idiot#this is about my mother fyi#she keeps doing this and i just think it sucks :/#like im opening up to you the least you could do is hear me out#and not mock me idk just a suggestion#and then i get upset and my father says 'oh look shes already mad'#im sorry for having feelings ig
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rip Will Herondale you would have loved Candy Crush
#Matthew: “Mama it's just a fun little thing I-”#Charlotte: “I think your uncle owns a property in the country I'm sure you could enjoy I'll inquire about it. But do leave my cell alone.#Matthew would introduce it to him#he would love shitty app store games#he would make a sincere attempt to get all adults around him to play them#it would not work on his parents fyi#Henry is the type to keep a loaded shot gun next to a printer and Charlotte is not physically capable of comprehending the appeal#he'd be like “you should try out HayDay its fun look how much fun I'm having. you should download it.”#and she'd be like#“so. do you want to go to a farm??? i mean if you really want to you can you don't have to just live vicariously through this game?#Matthew:“ ...”#Matthew: “Father-#Henry: “No.”#Henry full understands modern technology. in fact he understands it well enough he doesn't want to fucking use it.#RIP to him he would have hated AI#unironically Matthew would probably enjoy the countryside farm lmao#anyways. Tessa would play wordle#sophideon seem like a wordle couple#tid#tlh#tsc#will herondale
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knew the "songs abt hating your dad (and also loving him wtf)" playlist i made abt jason todd a few years back would come in handy again at some point
#for fic purposes i should say#my father is a sweet man who i would forgive for murder bc he probably had a good reason#fuck off lou#my post#playlists#music#this post is about joey claire just fyi#oh joey you would love a man alive by thao and the get down stay down#you would feel so seen by nobody dies/guts
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I'm so close to the end of chapter 13
#personal#fic: sins of the father#just an fyi before you see it in the author's notes: there will be a hiatus of indeterminate length after chapter 13 but i WILL come back#also 13 is gonna drop in 2 halves like 12 did#not because it's especially long (both halves together are most likely gonna top out at 14k. which is reasonable for me)#but bc rhea's death & grandma time are both such big events I want to give myself a fighting chance of getting comments about either one#(bc some of my commenters are genuinely insane. i love engagement but LORD)#BUT YEAH#I just gotta get aemon in the mountains & then write grandma time & then it'll be time for the editing pass!
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Sean gasped in pain as Father Mark gently began to wrap a bandage around his hand.
“I warned you not to get too close to the fire,” Father Mark said mildly. “Perhaps next time you'll heed my warning?”
Sean sniffled, watching his hand steadily being encased in white. “Wanned to see the fee-nicks,” he mumbled.
The chuckle that met his words was not an unkind one. “There wasn't a real phoenix in the fire, Sean.”
Frowning up at the priest sitting on a stool in front of him, Sean used his uninjured hand to wipe his nose. “But it's the Fee-Nicks Festival.”
“That's right,” Father Mark said patiently, “but the phoenix is a metaphor.”
“Metta-for?”
“Yes. Like a symbol.” Tying off the bandage, Father Mark gently held Sean's hand in both of his own weathered hands. “Sean, do you remember what the three days of the Phoenix Festival are?”
Sean immediately straightened up. It felt like they were in class, which was funny because he was sitting on the side of his little cot in the room he shared with Father Mark, rather than out in the sanctuary with all the other village children as Father Mark taught them. “Ember Day, Ash Day, Life Day,” he rattled off in the sing-song way they all used for reciting. “We set aside these days to commemberate the Eagle-Son's sacrifice for us in the flames. He has burned that we may not.”
“And so may it be,” Father Mark said solemnly. “Very good, Sean. And just as the Eagle-Son burned for a day and a night, so do we light a great bonfire in the middle of the village on Ember Day, to remember what he has done for us. And what is tomorrow, Sean?”
“Ash Day,” Sean said, flexing his bandaged fingers experimentally. They couldn't move much, and when he tried, they stung something fierce, so he quickly stopped.
“And what do we do on Ash Day?” Father Mark prompted.
With a sigh, Sean flopped down onto his back on the cot. “Nobody lights a fire and everybody pretends to be sad.” Ash Day was the most boring part of the festival. Sean didn't see why they couldn't just have Ember Day and then skip ahead to Life Day.
“Ash Day is a day of reflection and prayer,” Father Mark said, tugging the blankets out from under Sean and tucking him in. “The Eagle-Son's ashes settled to the ground and lay in silence for a day, and so we put out our fires and consider the evil that burns in our own hearts. For those were the flames that killed the Son of the Great Eagle.”
Sean shivered, pulling the blanket up to his nose. He'd just realized how chilly it was, in this back room of the stone chapel, without a fire crackling merrily on the hearth. He thought of the Eagle-Son, burned alive by wicked men. Just a quick brush of his fingers against the flames, and his own hand ached miserably. He couldn't even imagine how much more it would hurt to burn all over until you were dead.
“Sean, do you remember the script for this week?”
“'Out of the ashes, new life will spring; out of the flames, an eagle's wing.'”
“Yes, Sean.” Father Mark smiled down at him, smoothing messy brown hair out of Sean's eyes. “And that script speaks of Life Day. The day the Eagle-Son rose from the ashes like a phoenix and returned to life—eternal life that we all may share. That is why we celebrate the Phoenix Festival, to remember what the Great Eagle has done for us, and why we need not fear death.”
“I'm not 'fraid of dying,” Sean said, yawning hugely. Now that his hand wasn't hurting anymore, he wanted to hurry up and go to sleep so they could get through Ash Day faster. “'Cause once I die, I'll get to see Mother and Father in the heavens. And then we can all go flying together with the Great Eagle and the Eagle-Son.”
“Yes, I'm sure you will.” Father Mark's voice sounded sad for some reason.
But Sean was too tired to try to figure it out. He snuggled down farther under the blankets and dreamed of soaring through the clouds on huge wings as soft as the pillow under his head.
In the dream, his wings were black.
The Chesterton Challenge: Day 1
Welcome to Day 1 of the Chesterton Challenge! The beginning of a month full of creativity! I can't wait to head on this journey with all of you!
Today's Optional Prompt is: Tradition.
Chesterton was an advocate for tradition in secular and religious contexts, and May 1st is a day associated with all kinds of traditions, from May Day to St. Joseph the Worker to the opening day of writing and art challenges.
You can interpret the word any way you want. Will you write about a fantasy world's traditions? Write an essay about your favorite springtime tradition? Create artwork within a traditional art medium? The sky's the limit!
Whatever you create, make sure to show us or tell us about it by reblogging or replying to this post.
Now go forth and create!
#chesterton challenge#tradition#the ambassadors#sean#father mark#tw: immolation#(i mean...kinda? just vaguely described in a symbolic way)#i'm still ironing out the wrinkles in my fantasy religion so any suggestions would be welcome#this scene will probably not end up in the book fyi#sean is about 5 here - he's a teenager in the main story
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absolutely fucking not why would you even remotely suggest this @ facebook
#that’s my father fyi#I almost didn’t block out his name bc I don’t give a shit about doxxing him#facebook can almost definitely read all my data it should know how much I hate this man
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sensational
6.9k | joel miller & f!innocent!reader part two
this comes from this request. a few liberties were taken with the details (the reader knows that sex exists, but not much else), just fyi!
summary: thanks to becoming an orphan at age 13, you've lived the rest of your life oblivious to all the world can offer. now that you're in jackson, joel miller ignites something in you that only he can give answers to. warnings: slight angst (mentions of parent loss), innocent!fem!reader, age gap (joel is 56, reader is 25), kind of pervy!joel, smut (18+, mdni!!!), fingering, grinding, reader watches old pornos with joel, slight praise kink, no use of y/n. note: i planned originally to have this be just one part, but even though it ends in a way that i like, i could maybe be convinced to write a second part teehee (part two coming soon!)
You used to love the rain. The way it cascaded down your skin in little droplets, cleansing your body from a hard day's work, and the way it made your hair look so perfectly disheveled.
You craved the rain, until it became nothing but a reminder of the night your parents died.
It had been years at this point, but you would never quite forget how young, and small, and unsuspecting you'd been when they told you to run. How cruel, that time might pass, you might change, but with one smattering of rain, you returned so swiftly to the worst night of your life.
The three of you had been living alone, making your way...somewhere, but they never told you where. Your parents' only wish was to keep you safe, that much was clear. So it shouldn't have been a surprise that upon an ambush by at least ten clickers, after both your parents had been infected, that they'd insist that you run.
"Please, darling," your mother had pleaded, a lump in her throat as she formed the words. "Don't make me beg. I need you to run. Promise?"
Your father was somewhere else, but you could hear him yelling in the distance, in a fight for his life. You were too young, even at thirteen, to understand that those were the sounds of a dying man.
"I'll be right behind you," she'd choked on the last phrase, and in hindsight, you knew she was lying. But in the moment, you'd believed her. You couldn't see the bite she was hiding on her arm, her fate already sealed. "I'll come for you, my love," she insisted, "but I need you to go. Head for the woods."
It was the last time you saw her. You'd turned tail and had run as fast as you could for the woods.
The last thing you heard was a gunshot. A single shot, echoing around you in the trees. It may have been impossible to know, but you didn't need to turn back. Your parents were dead.
If you hadn't found Jackson, who knows how long you might have lasted. Nearing your twenty-first year, you'd proven valuable to the community, and they'd welcomed you in. Jackson was the first home you'd had since you were five.
It hadn't occurred to you that you were years behind your peers in terms of...well, everything, until you met Joel.
Rugged, tan, and sporting a perpetual frown paired with an ever-present crease between his brows, Joel Miller was your patrol partner. You weren't exactly sure why, and he didn't seem particularly pleased about it, but then again—he never seemed particularly pleased about anything.
It hadn't struck you as anything to be proud of, or to boast about to the other young women in Jackson, but they certainly loved coming up to you and expressing their jealousy when they felt so inclined.
"What's he like on patrol?" they'd ask, their eyes wide and lips curled in smirks as they waited for any insight you could give them on his mysterious personality.
All you could ever say over the next four years was a quick, "He's quiet."
Maybe that was why the two of you worked well. He wasn't much of a talker, and after you'd lost your parents, you hadn't been one to waste any breath on conversation, especially when you had survived alone with your own thoughts for almost eight years.
Silence was your mutual understanding. No talking meant no questions, and no questions meant no problems.
And this worked. Until it didn't.
-- -- --
It started like anything started. Quietly, hardly a bother, until it sank into the marrow of your bones and demanded that you address it.
More literally, it started in your shoulders. You'd been on patrol with Joel, a quiet, "Let's go," his only words to you that morning. They were his only words to you every morning, and that day was no different.
Patrolling with him was easy. Like you'd said—no talking, so no problems. You rode next to each other on your respective horses, and there was nothing more than a glance or two toward each other when necessary. It was the only form of communication that the two of you shared.
His big brown eyes had always startled you, looking so inviting in the contrast of the white snow during the winter, but they never showed you more than he allowed you to see. And all you saw of Joel was his dedication to sleep, patrol, eat, and repeat.
You hadn't felt the desire to look that closely at him until some of the girls in Jackson asked you how big his hands were, or what he looked like up close.
"You know," one of them had crooned, not realizing you were unsure of their intentions, "what does he look like without that big old coat on?"
You'd shrugged. "Why should I know?"
Another one wiggled her eyebrows. "Doesn't it get...lonely out there? Nothing but you, the snow, and a big man like Joel to keep you company?"
The faces of those girls, the glint in their eyes, it was something you couldn't quite decipher, as much as you wished you could. So one day, you'd asked the man himself what it all meant.
When you said it for the first time, it was so quiet that you could hardly even hear yourself.
Joel grunted, the only indication that he'd heard you.
Your cheeks burned, but you couldn't find a reason why. This was just Joel. He seemed to know everything there was to know about life; surely he could help you understand this. "Why do the girls in town keep asking me what it's like to patrol with you?"
He didn't answer for a second, but then shrugged. "They botherin' you?"
"No." You weren't quite sure that was true, and knowing him, he could probably hear the lie in your voice. "They're just kind of...belligerent."
His eyebrow cocked. "S'a big word," he mused. "Sure you know what it means?"
Your cheeks grew hot. "Yes," you insisted sharply. "I do read, you know."
He murmured a response, but the wind carried it away from you. You rode in silence for a bit longer before he said, "Don't let those girls get in your head. I think they just wanna get a rise outta you."
"A rise?"
Joel nodded and brought his horse to a routine stop. This was where the two of you always stretched your legs. He reached up to help you down your own mount and set you on the ground gingerly. "You know," he said, as if you should know, but with no regard for the fact that you didn't. "You're still kinda new here. Seems they're still pretty dead-set on embarrassin' you."
"I'm not embarrassed," you insisted again. "I just...is there a joke I'm not getting?"
"Any reason you chose to talk so much today?" was his only answer, which made your stomach clench.
There was no reason for you to be offended, as it was your typical routine to remain quiet unless absolutely necessary, but you couldn't help the way your lips curved downward. "Sorry," you mumbled, "forget I asked."
He was quiet again as the two of you walked at least two hundred paces, stretching out your sore muscles in the snow. It used to be comforting, the silence. It wasn't maddening, it didn't ever bother you if Joel was in his thoughts. You weren't even sure at times if he had any. But all that had changed now; his brow creased more than it usually did, and you wanted nothing more than to ask him what he was thinking.
Joel was the one constant in your life now. Maybe it was a—well, probably it was a trauma response from losing your parents, but you couldn't help it. You didn't need much from anyone, just someone to stay. Joel was strong enough to take care of himself and was smart enough not to make any rash decisions. As far as you could tell, he'd stay.
So how could you be so embarrassed by asking these questions?
"I forgot how long you said you were...alone out there," his grunting voice filled the space between you once more. It was quiet, and he sounded hesitant, as if he wasn't sure how to speak.
"Since I was thirteen," you said mechanically, so familiar with others in Jackson asking the same question.
"Shit," he cursed under his breath. "And you're how old?"
"Twenty-five," you said, feeling oddly small in his presence.
He shook his head. "That's a long time to be alone," he muttered, blowing out a breath.
You huffed. "Yeah, well, I survived. And besides, I've been here for four years now, you know."
"I know."
Again, the silence. Infuriating.
Then, you couldn't help it. "What's...'spooning,' and why do those girls ask me if we've done it?"
Joel stumbled, reaching out for balance. His hand found purchase on your shoulder, and you caught him awkwardly. "You don't even know what spooning is?" He sounded incredulous, as if you'd asked a juvenile question.
The warmth from his hand was astonishing, and distracted you from your embarrassment, if only for a moment. It sank through his glove into your coat, and down toward your skin. Something about the weight of his hand on your shoulder, even for a second as he removed it quickly, was enough to send you spiraling.
Your face burned. "Never mind," you said quietly and mounted your horse again. How stupid could you get? You scolded yourself. You'd ventured too far into this conversation, and now you didn't know how to get yourself out of it. "I was just...never mind. We should get back."
He nodded, but his face still looked somewhat pinched. "Yeah. S'getting dark."
The sun was still up. No intention of sinking beneath the horizon for at least a few hours. You rode again in uncomfortable silence, this time letting it fill the space. You foolishly thought that maybe if you were quiet long enough, he'd forget that you'd made a fool of yourself, that you'd exposed yourself to the truth: that you knew hardly anything about...anything except for survival instincts.
When Joel spoke again, it surprised you. "I didn't mean to tease ya," he said. "It's just kind of a surprise that you're not...that you don't..." he looked over at you, and there was some type of pleading in his eyes, as if he were begging you not to make him say it.
"That I don't what?" you said dumbly, hoping you didn't sound as childish as you felt.
He pondered his next words carefully, and then he hummed, "If you want, I could...teach you some stuff."
"Like spooning?" You felt a warmth in your face as you watched his shoulders hunch with a soft laughter. Your own shoulder burned where he'd touched it, and something bloomed in your gut.
He chuckled. "I don't know about all that," he said, "but I'll help you get...back on track. Would hate for someone to take advantage of your...innocence." It sounded sinful, the way he said it, and the something in your gut pulsed.
"You don't have to," you shook your head, but you didn't even believe the words as they came out of your mouth. "I'll just ask someone else."
"Darlin', don't trust anyone else to give you straight answers. I'm older'n half of everyone in Jackson, anyway." He flashed you a look. "I'll help. Whatever you want to know."
You bit the insides of your cheeks, your stomach turning strangely. "Anything?"
He nodded dutifully, but his eyes had already left yours. Joel Miller, ever the professional. "Whatever you want."
-- -- --
Joel liked to consider himself someone who would never again suffer the shock of surprises. After having lived through and seen more shit than any normal person could, he thought he'd experienced it all.
That is, until her pretty lips had opened and asked him to teach her about all she'd missed. Until she asked him to teach her.
He hadn't really seen her as the picture of innocence until he'd heard how long she'd been alone, surviving with no one and nothing besides her own thoughts and the clothes on her back.
The least her parents could do was teach her how to shoot, he'd thought when he first met her. It was a curiosity that was quickly resolved, as she'd proven herself valuable to Jackson.
Tommy had wasted no time putting them on patrol together. "It'll be good for you," his brother had reasoned when he brought up concerns. "You know, to talk to someone out there. I know she's on the young side, but you don't gotta fall in love with her." He'd flashed an apologetic smile when Joel had scowled. "You're scarin' everyone, Joel. Bein' all quiet and shit...it's—"
"It's what?" he'd asked gruffly. "I don't do it on purpose. I'm a grown man."
This was all true, and he very much didn't do it on purpose. With no one around whom he deemed worthy of his conversation, Joel Miller had become the quiet, introspective version of himself that everyone decided to become scared of all of a sudden.
The way he saw things? It wasn't his fault everyone in Jackson was boring. Or childish.
But her. With her unmistakable will to survive and those eyes that could burn fierce with ire one moment, and soften with curiosity the next...it was only a matter of time before he agreed to do whatever she asked.
He should have seen it coming, especially considering her past. Every time he thought of just how...unsuspecting she was about...everything, he had to shake his head, clearing it of any thoughts that threatened to take advantage of her.
But being ignorant of spooning. He had to clear his throat every time he thought of what that might mean for himself in this particular arrangement. If she knew nothing of something so...palatable, he could hardly help himself when thinking of what else she might be unaware of.
He tried to be patient, and he tried to be respectful, but at the end of the day, he was Joel Miller. From the moment she looked at him with those wide eyes, he was lost.
-- -- --
"What I would give to give that man the ride of his life," one of the girls next to you hummed at breakfast the next morning, her eyes presumably glued to Joel, who'd just come into the cafeteria. You didn't look up at him, instead casting a confused glance toward the girl who'd spoken.
"Ride where?" You cursed your quick instinct to ask questions, as the girls erupted into a fit of giggles. Face burning, you looked down again at your plate. "Never mind," came your almost instantaneous response. You were getting used to having to apologize for your ignorance, and people rarely—especially not these girls—offered their kindness.
One of the other girls snickered. "Why don't you ask him? I'm sure there's nothing much to talk about out there anyway," she said, smiling widely. Her next words were nothing short of a drawl, the complete essence of mockery. "'Joel, what's it mean to ride?'" she pinched her face in what you assumed was an impression of you, and it only made your eyebrows furrow despite your stomach sinking in utter horror.
And then there he was. He'd called your name, and now he was standing behind your left shoulder, hand outstretched to save you.
You were sure his hand had never looked quite as appealing as it did now. The calluses on his palm were raised and visibly rough. For a moment, you stared at his fingers and wondered what they might feel like against your cheek.
Swallowing a lump in your throat, that something arose in your gut once more before you heard him murmur your name again.
"Come on," he grunted, but there was a gentleness to it that made the hair on the nape of your neck stand on end. "Time to go."
The girls at your table were silent when you took his hand gingerly and let him lead you from the cafeteria. You noted the swift wave of cold that hit your hand as soon as he dropped it, just a second later. Clasping your hands together, you hoped in a fit of desperation that you might preserve some of the weight and warmth of his touch on your skin. It failed.
"Thanks," you said later, when the two of you were outside the community's borders. Jackson felt a bit too stuffy for any real admissions of gratitude, you'd decided. It turned out to be a good conclusion when you felt the delicious churn of your stomach at the idea of being alone with him once more.
I'm sure there's nothing much to talk about out there anyway, one of the girls had said. Doesn't it get lonely out there? You were reminded of another's teasing, and this time your cheeks burned at the memory. Nothing but you, the snow, and a big man like Joel to keep you company.
He was big, you considered. When he stood next to you, his frame was almost larger than life, and his shoulders were sinfully broad when you watched him walk in front of you on previous patrols. The sheer size of him was enough to send you into a heady descent.
As usual, Joel didn't answer for what felt like ages, and you'd begun to wonder if he could see where your train of thought had led you. Then:
"You could have told me they were bein' that outrageous," he grunted, keeping his eyes forward. "I woulda helped you out sooner. S'no fun feelin' left outta everything."
It was...odd to hear such words come from a man like Joel. Although, you reminded yourself, you'd hardly spoken to him in the four years that you'd been in Jackson; who was to say he wasn't normally like this? A quiet, brooding older man, yes; but maybe he was naturally like this. One to offer his help.
"If you wanted to help, you would have made an effort four years ago." You let your words hang in the air. You didn't mean for them to come off sharp; it was simply the truth. "I don't need your help," you added, tightening your hands on the reins of your horse and swallowing roughly. "It was fine. I am fine."
He flashed you a look as if to say, is that so? You couldn't help but notice the way the corners of his eyes creased, the only sign of amusement. It was all you could do to keep your eyes on him, although you weren't sure how you were going to explain the way your mouth went dry at the sight of his big brown eyes.
"Besides," you insisted quietly, "you're not my dad."
Joel cleared his throat. Looked down, shoulders tense. Inhaled. "No," he said decidedly. "No, I'm not."
Emboldened by this clarification, you inquired, "So what did those girls mean earlier? Riding, I mean?"
If you could have guaranteed the image of Joel's eyes going wide in surprise to remain in your head for the rest of your days, you would have done it instantly. His forehead was creased as his eyebrows lifted, and despite his position facing away from you, you could see it all.
The way he seemed to wrestle with himself before answering, the way his hands seemed to clench in his gloves. "So, uh..." he started, and then paused again. Mustering up whatever courage he needed, Joel finished, "Well, ya see, when a man and woman love each other very much—"
"Joel." Oh. You couldn't help it when a breathless chuckle left your lips.
He was silent, and when he finally answered, it wasn't a question. "What."
"I'm not fucking stupid. I know how reproduction works."
Joel's chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, and you couldn't ignore the look of complete relief that washed over his rough features. "Thank fuckin' Christ. Didn't know if I had it in me for another sex talk. I'm too old to be doin' this."
"Believe it or not, my parents did leave me with the basic information." Swallowing roughly, you continued. "And I know...I know that men usually...take. It's an assertion of power, from what I've...seen."
He shook his head. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised that you've run into your fair share of dirtbags, even in the middle of the world goin' to shit." He ran a gloved hand through his hair, and you secretly enjoyed the way it stood up. "Anyone ever, you know...take...from you?"
Hearing your own words regurgitated back to you left you feeling fluttery. Shaking your head, you got down from your horse; you'd reached your typical resting spot. "No," you said firmly. "They never wanted me."
Joel nodded. "S'good," he said, and it bothered you to no end that you couldn't understand the emotion in his voice. "So..."
By now he was standing next to you, closer than you were used to, judging by the way his coat sleeve bumped yours as the two of you walked, stretching your legs. "So," you said, thinking up a way to make this conversation less awkward. "I just hate feeling like a kid again. I'm twenty-five, for fuck's sake. There's more than just survival when it comes to living. I just want to know what I'm missing out on," you confessed with a hand on your stomach.
When Joel brushed by your side again your stomach flipped. And what the fuck is that about, and why do I keep feeling it? You asked inwardly, but you were too nervous to ask. Bombarding Joel with questions, especially after you'd just started talking to him on patrol after four years, seeming to be the wrong path to take.
He shrugged, eyebrows still furrowed in thought. "There's nothing to miss if you don't know what you're missin'."
"Yes," you admitted, "but that doesn't stop any of those girls from making me feel like I'm..."
"Innocent?" he murmured, and you thought you weren't meant to hear it until he turned to look at you.
Those big brown eyes, they just won't quit, a voice nudged you in your head.
"I don't want to be innocent," you groaned, throwing your head back. "God, not in the sense that they see me in. Sounds like a damn curse."
The sound of his rumbling laughter, however quiet, sent a shock down your spine and you nearly tripped in the snow. "There's pros and cons, I s'pose," he offered. "It's like I said: I'll help you get back on track. If that's what you really want."
"It is." You stopped walking, took a look around at the landscape, otherwise empty with the scattering of trees. You swallowed, pressed one. "So...riding. It's a part of reproducing, then?"
He chuckled again, but this time it didn't come off as demeaning. It was like he was teasing you, but good-naturedly. "Let's not jump too far ahead of ourselves, yeah? Start with somethin' smaller. Then we'll work our way up."
Joel's eyes were piercing when he held yours in his gaze. If someone watched this conversation, you were sure they'd be able to see the blush blooming on your cheeks.
"Learnin' takes time, ya know," he mused, his growling voice nearly a hum that could have warmed you from the inside out.
You'd made it to the edge of the woods now. This was normally where you turned back, heading for home. But neither of you moved. The bubble of something pulsed again, and you swallowed roughly before whispering hoarsely, "So where should we start?"
-- -- --
If Joel were a better man, he might have warned her what the curse of innocence in a young woman could be. He might have shook his head, stepped back, and told her to ask someone else. He might have taken the reins and turned the two of them back toward Jackson.
If he were better, he wouldn't have stepped closer to her. If he were a better man, he wouldn't have looked into her sparkling eyes and let the question slip. Fuck it all.
"You ever been kissed, darlin'?"
-- -- --
You swallowed. Don't make a fool of yourself, you begged yourself before answering with a quiet shake of your head. "Not many contenders out there. Not any good ones, anyway."
He'd leaned closer to you with his question, and now you could practically see each line of age in his face. Joel's expression was unclear; he could have been pleased with this information or...or maybe there was pity in his eyes. "No," he said with an understanding nod. "No, I suppose there wouldn't have been."
He lifted a gloved hand to his mouth and you watched as he traced it along his lips. The gray strands in his hair glinted off the sunlight, blinking pleasantly in your eyes. That something pulsed once more in your stomach, and there was a sort of realization that came with it.
Joel, you thought. Joel is making me feel like this.
"Will you kiss me?" The words were out of your mouth before you could reel them in.
But instead of laughing, or scoffing, or giving any sign of mockery, Joel Miller inhaled quietly. "You know how much older I am than you?" he asked.
You nodded. "We're both adults, Joel. Besides," you felt a ghost of a smirk come to grace your lips, a feigned confidence coming to save you in this moment of truth. "I thought you told me to ask you these questions."
He sighed. "You're right."
"So? Will you?" you asked, with a small, "please?" coming out afterward.
He moved slowly, something you were equally thankful for as you were frustrated with, but his forehead met yours soon enough. His eyelashes brushed against your cheek, and he let out a shaky breath, letting it fan deliciously across your face. The knowledge that he was just as nervous as you were was not only a comfort; it was perhaps the most attractive thing you'd ever known.
And when you lifted your chin, just a hairsbreadth from his lips, your eyes fluttered closed, waiting for him to meet you in the middle. It only took a moment before he was closing his mouth over yours, and Joel Miller was kissing you.
He was gentle, of course, but there was something restrained about his kiss, the way he slowly slotted his lips over yours as if you might crack under any more pressure. It only made you want more, more, more...
You pressed your hands to his chest and curled them into fists, tugging his jacket to lessen the distance between your bodies even more. You didn't know how you were doing this, how you'd managed to find confidence in what could have easily been a humiliating experience. Your first kiss at twenty-five? With anyone else, it might have been a nightmare.
With Joel, it was turning out to be the most delightful dream.
"So soft, baby," he pulled back to whisper against your mouth. "These lips are so soft for me."
You hummed your response and pulled him back to you, letting him see that you wanted more. That incessant pressure was building, and it wasn't until he had his arms sliding around your waist that you forced yourself to pull back, head spinning. "Joel."
He blinked. "What? Too fast?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, darlin', you're just so—"
"No, that's not it." You managed a weak smile, but the look in his eye, the question and the undeniable desire—is that what it looks like?—quivering in his brown irises, nearly made you collapse. He waited for you to continue, his hands never leaving you, a courtesy you were grateful for. "I feel...hot." Your cheeks warmed. "Um, there's this...pressure."
His lips closed in a tight smirk, and he squeezed your hips. "Where, baby?" he murmured, and you could have sworn you saw stars outlining his head at the sound of the pet name. "Show me," he cooed.
"Um." You paused, unsure of just how. But with his hands on your waist, his heavy, warm touch melting you on the spot, you took one of his gloved hands in yours and guided him to your stomach. "Here. Kind of."
"Yeah?" he said, and you forgot about the cold. About your horses waiting to be mounted, about your other responsibilities in Jackson. All you could see were his dark eyes that had somehow grown darker as you pushed his hand down, down, down...
"Fuck, babygirl," he cursed, and let his hand rest on the crux of your thighs, just barely pressing on the source of the tingling sensation. If anything, it made it worse, and you let a breathy whine fall from your lips. "You're gonna be the death of me, huh?" he groaned.
You couldn't form words. Just one kiss (a very good kiss, mind you) and a heavy hand on your core was all it took, apparently. You could hardly look anywhere but his face, your mouth dropping open as your hips moved of their own accord, grinding into his hand before you realized you were doing it. "Joel—" you whimpered, and he pulled his hand away.
There wasn't enough time for you to feel jilted, as he tugged you back to your horse and practically launched you onto it himself. "We're goin' back," he said firmly, "now."
Swallowing, your throat dry and rough, you pressed a hand to your cheek, feeling the heat swimming under your skin. "Did I do something wrong?"
You could hardly see him shake his head as he mounted his own horse, looking back at you to make sure you were following him. "'Course not," he called over his shoulder. When you caught up with him, the two of you shoulder-to-shoulder, he continued. "Look, darlin', f'I'm gonna be givin' you your first kiss and makin' you feel that good..." he sighed, his dark eyes finding yours. "I'm not doin' it in a fuckin' snowbank."
-- -- --
The entire ride back to Jackson was painfully long, silent but for Joel's mumbled directions, despite the fact that the two of you had taken this same route countless times in the four years that you patrolled together.
Your eyes were trained forward, and you knew his were as well, but it took everything in you not to glance at him even for a second. If you did, you were afraid that the pressure building in the crux of your thighs would never go away.
It would be unfair to say that you were completely unaware of what might happen when you got back to Jackson, but you still didn't know much, which left a nervous bubble rising in your gut. It wasn't like there were any books left in Jackson that you could read about it, or any movies that Maria would allow to remain in the community's borders.
Again, you got a wave of feeling like this should have concerned you, or at least made you a little anxious. But with Joel pulling ahead, his strong back the only thing you could look at, you felt the knot of tension release in your stomach. This was Joel. After four years—even four mostly silent years—of working together, you felt like you...knew him, somehow. That he couldn't possibly lead you astray.
Sure enough, when you were both within the borders, horses returned safely to their stables, the tension returned. Or had it ever really dissipated?
Joel hovered close to you as you left the stables. "Let's go, darlin'," he breathed, a gloved hand on your lower back as he guided you.
"Where?" you said, and you hoped it didn't sound as desperate as it did to you, the pressure getting worse. "I need—"
"I know, baby, I know," he cooed gently, his head on a swivel as if looking for anyone who might stop you. "We're goin' to mine. I've got the perfect lesson planned for ya, alright?"
It was all you could do to nod and let him push you forward through the snowy streets. If only those girls could see you now.
Once inside, you took a breath. There was no one around, and once the door closed behind you, the silence felt all the more heavy. "Ellie?" you asked, if only in courtesy.
He shook his head, and you bit your lip when you saw him smirk. "Just us, doll."
Joel shed his outer layers, and when he stood in front of you, you realized that this was the first time you'd seen him without his coat. Without his gloves, aside from that morning.
Your eyes snagged on his fingers, and you swallowed roughly when you saw the way they twitched, as if in anticipation for something. Or maybe he was holding himself back, you considered. His jaw did seem to have an impatient clench to it. Hands rough like you knew they would be, it didn't take long for your mind to wander into thinking of what it might be like to feel those hands on your skin.
With any luck, he'd give you the sweet release you craved, however it would unfold.
"See anything you like?" he teased, and your cheeks warmed.
"Sorry," you fumbled for a response, your eyes dropping. You'd meant to clear your head, but then your eyes were caught on his thighs. Specifically how hard the seams on his jeans were fighting to remain unripped. "Um, a lesson, you said?"
He nodded, reaching out a hand to take your own coat off, leaving you in the sweater and pants you'd had on all day. You were sure your hair was knotted and would be for days, but he only smoothed a hand down your face, letting you lean into his touch. His fingers were still cold, but your face was hot and it offered a dizzying sense of relief.
"I could never teach you all this," he murmured, his thumb rubbing back and forth in an absentminded swipe across your cheek. "Not without getting...distracted," he finished, pressing his other hand to your waist. Underneath the thick layer of your coat, his hand felt like a hot iron scorching your skin, despite there still being a few layers of clothes between your bodies.
"Distraction is okay," you breathed, lifting a hand to cup his on your waist. "Right?"
He shook his head, a chuckle lifting from deep in his chest. "Not tonight," he whispered. "Tonight, I want to stick to the plan."
"Which is?"
Wordlessly, he removed the hand on your waist and entwined it with your own, tugging you toward the living room where an old television had been placed on a rickety-looking shelf. "Sit," he directed, and you did so without hesitation. He paused, biting back a smile at your eager cooperation, and adjusted himself.
It occurred to you that as much as you were affected by him, he was experiencing a similar effect from you. His pants, already tighter than sin, seemed to have become even tighter, as a bulge began to grow while he stood just a few feet from your face.
"Joel—"
"No, no," he waved a dismissive hand and went to the television to grab something. He came back with something you recognized: a VHS tape. "Don't worry 'bout me, sweets. Tonight's just for you."
"We're gonna watch a movie?" you asked, trying to ignore the way your heart sank a little. You had been hoping that the two of you would kiss some more, and maybe even...you didn't even know the name for it.
"Not just any movie," he grinned, putting it in to watch. The video started. "A special one."
When the scene opened on a man and a woman in the throes of passion, you gasped. "No way," you whispered. "I thought Maria—"
He shrugged, sinking down on the couch beside you, his knee bumping yours. "She must've missed this one," was all he said.
The woman looked to be enjoying herself, as her scene partner kissed her neck, dragging his tongue from the dip in her clavicle to the curve of skin where her neck met her ear. A cartoon-ish moan left her lips, but you didn't pay it any mind. The sight of it made your thighs clench together subconsciously, the lick of pressure rising again in your center.
"Joel—"
"Shh," he said gently. "C'mere, darlin'." With no more than a heavy hand on your waist, he tugged you closer to him, situating you over his lap. "Comfortable?"
You almost said no; you knew that this wouldn't be an acceptable seating arrangement in the cafeteria (or anywhere public, for that matter), but when his hands landed on your thighs, you nodded swiftly. His fingers curled around your skin, and you could feel every pulse of his heartbeat through his fingertips, poised as if he might spread your legs from where they were squeezed together between his own thighs.
Something hard and solid nudged at your core, and you couldn't help it when you leaned back into his chest, head tilting back to rest on his shoulder. A breathy moan tumbled from your lips, and your stomach fluttered when you felt his chest rumble with a chuckle.
"That quick, baby?" he whispered, his breath fanning over your neck. "You really are a sweet young thing, aren't ya," he teased, pressing his nose to the joint between your jaw and your neck, "fallin' apart for me already?" He rocked his hips forward, his bulge pressing harder against you, and it nearly sent you into a spiral.
You swallowed, your throat dry. The sounds of the movie seemed far away as you opened your eyes and looked at his beard, peppered with gray and scratching at your chin when he leaned over you. "Joel," you whispered, bringing your hands to cover his own on your thighs, "I-I want to know everything." You'd never meant anything more fervently, more desperately, than this.
If you'd known how addicting this could feel, being so close to him, feeling his hands on you, perhaps you would have been embarrassed at the way your hips began rubbing yourself on his lap, hoping for—you didn't even know what could be after this. You just knew that the way you felt was the most intense thing you'd felt in your entire life, and you wanted to keep feeling this way, as long as you could.
Joel tutted, squeezing his hands on your thighs. "Oh, look at you," he groaned, a deep, carnal noise that made your chest constrict, "you're a natural, doll." His lips brushed your shoulder, and he darted his tongue out to lick a small strip up your neck.
Your heart swelled with the praise, and it was all you could do not to squeeze your eyes shut. "Please," you begged quietly, as if someone might hear you.
"I know, baby, I know," he crooned, dark eyes locked onto your own as his hand crept closer—to your waistband—closer—unzipping your pants—closer...there.
Your hips lifted from his lap with the heady sensation of his fingers pressed to a bundle of nerves between your legs. "Joel—!" you squeaked.
You felt him smile against your cheek. "So wet," he murmured, "so slick for my fingers, baby." He began rubbing that spot in tight circles, a slow, torturous pace. "Let me know when you're gonna come, yeah?"
"When I..." you trailed off. You'd never...how would you know? "I don't..."
Joel hummed in your ear, rocking his hips again and releasing a guttural groan. "S'okay, pretty girl," he reassured you, "I'll be gentle. Lemme know when it feels like it's too much. "I've gotcha."
You were too far gone to doubt him. This was Joel. He wouldn't let you fall, as much as you felt like you were going to slide to the floor at the feeling of his hand coming up from your leg to caress your breast, rolling a nipple between his fingertips. A strangled mix between a cry and a moan left your lips, and with one more kiss to your brow paired with a quick swipe of his finger over your ever-sensitive bud—
Something gave way and you jerked your head back, digging into his shoulder. Your legs spasmed and you squeezed your hand over Joel's, holding his hand in place underneath your panties.
"Fuck, doll, just like that," he encouraged you. "Look at you, eyes rollin' back for me. Shakin' like a good girl." His hips tensed beneath you and you felt his chest shudder as he released a punishing moan. "Got me feelin' like a damn teenager, comin' in my jeans."
His fingers stilled, but his hand didn't move. Your legs slowly stopped shaking, and the solid mass beneath you was softening. You let out a sigh, your eyelids fluttering closed. Your cheeks were flushed, you could tell; but this time, it wasn't embarrassment that brought the warmth to your face.
"You okay?" he murmured, carefully removing his hands from their places on you. "Feel alright, darlin'?"
Your head turned, nestling into the crook of his neck. Nodding quietly, you shifted in his lap. "I...I didn't know it could be like that," you shivered.
Joel paused the video, the living room falling quiet around you. Swinging a hand under your legs and tugging you to a more comfortable position over his lap, he raised his fingers to his lips, glistening with the remnants of your desire. Your jaw slackened when you watched him open his mouth, lapping at the tips of his fingers.
"Trust me, doll," he said with a glint in his eye. You whimpered in anticipation as he reached to brush a strand of hair from your face. "I've got so much more to teach you."
tysm for reading! you made it to the end! part two is in the works posted!
#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#pervy!joel#innocent!f!reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller#joel miller tlou#tlou smut#tlou fic#tlou joel fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fic#the last of us#the last of us fanfic#the last of us smut#jackson!joel miller#joel miller x innocent!f!reader#fem!reader#joel x fem!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n
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For anyone who wants to write fanfics or comics, ect about characters from Louisiana (Gambit, alastor, ect.) with accuracy to Louisiana and any French we speak here.
⚜️There's a lot of information after the phrases just an FYI ⚜️ I add a few things that I forgot about.
Common phrases used in Louisiana are:
Sha
(pronounced like it's spelled) this is a gender neutral term used for all ages, it's a friendly term used to address someone, most people use it for everyone. Inflections and sentences can change it to be more familial or romantic but it's often just used when addressing someone else. A lot of people use this term and say it for everyone they meet. This is used to replace cher and cheri, no one uses cher and cheri ever, have never heard a single person in Louisiana use those terms in my entire life.)(commonly said at the beginning or end of a sentence when addressing someone also typically accompanied my 'oh' or 'mais/man'
Examples :"oh sha, can you grab me that bottle right there." " How you been sha" "man sha, you seen what that man did over there" "oh mais sha, eat, you must be starving"
beaucoup
(boo•coo) very much, plenty/ plentiful, very, much, an exuberant/ large amount of something. Each of these can be used it just depends on the context, it is often used in 'thank you' or in jest or exasperation to emphasize that someone has a large amount of something. Sometimes people also use it in a jesting manner to make fun of how little someone has when they are trying to pretend like it's a lot. Extremely common to hear in New Orleans slightly less use in the rest of the state but is still used often. Commonly said as "beaucoup much" (younger generation born late 90s to present mainly use this one) or by itself
Examples: "did you see the amount of bread loafs that guy had in his buggie, he had beaucoup things of bread"
Merci also "merci beaucoup" or "beaucoup merci"
(mer•see) thank you, thank you very much, plenty thanks, very thanks. Still widely used across Louisiana rather commonly. Not everyone says it but it's just a personal preference, the people that do use it often still say thank you in English from time to time, they just also like using these terms as well. These phrases are also used for everyone it doesn't need to be reserved for special times/ people.
Example: " merci, have a nice day" kinda self explanatory
Adieu
(a•doo) kinda like goodbye I think I've heard a some people say it but it's definitely not the most common. They said it in place of good bye so I've just always assumed that's what it meant.
Petite
(pa•teet) small, little, tiny. This is already used in the English language show I don't really have to explain it much but it is commonly used among Cajuns and other Louisianaians to address a person affectionately especially when you add another word behind it. Sometimes people will say "mon petite ___" or "petite ____" sometimes shortcutted to "te" sometimes just say patite if it's an nickname the additional thing will most likely be in French and be something that the person likes or enjoys. I've rarely heard it used otherwise unless talking about clothing.
Examples: my grandmothers used to call me "Mon petite papillon" (my tiny butterfly) and "petite minou" (small kitty) because one grandmother's favorite animal was a butterfly and the other's is a cat.
Nanny and parrin
(nan•ee) (pah•ra) god mother and god father, most people call them by these terms so if you here someone from Louisiana talk about their nanny they don't mean someone their parents hired to look after them they mean their god mother.
Couyon
(coo•yaw) fool or idiot. Typically used in rather jest or scolding but typically when joking around. More common in Cajun areas than New Orleans. Sometimes if someone does something foolish especially after being told not to or is just being really clumsy or acting stupid/ rude then people will just call them couyon and walk away or laugh at them.
Example: " will you stop acting like a couyon? We need to get a move on."
Mais
(mah) but . See Sha for example of use mainly used with Sha .
Allons also "allons dan ser"
(ah•law) (ah•law don say) let's go and the phrase commonly used with it is "let's go dancing" more Cajun area use then New Orleans.
Beb also bébé
(pronounced like it's spelled) babe or baby also typically used in a neutral manner when talking to people, can be used for anyone but is most commonly used among family or close friends especially for people younger than you. Can also be used in a romantic connotation like babe or baby usually it is generally affectionate no matter how it's used. Can be used for strangers typically said by women but men do say it.
Example: "bébé can you go to the kitchen and get me a soda"
Just please please don't use cher or cheri no one says that around here it's almost always specific nicknames rather of things the person talking likes or the person listening likes. Please see petite for example.
Gambit is likely to say card related nicknames since he likes gambling, I know a few people who like playing cards who call people things like king and queen quite often as well as like 'my heart', 'little diamond'
In French those would be "reine" (Queen) or "dame" (lady/ queen) , "roi" (king) , "Mon cœur" (my heart/my core), " petite diamant" (little diamond)
For Alastor I'm not sure that there's anything radio related that people would use, my family has been in the radio business for a while and I've never heard any from any of my family members or my parents. He is likely to use deer related ones especially if they are puns.
Examples: " Mon biche" (feminine) or "Mon cerf" (masculine) (both mean my deer) , and "petite biche" (fem) or "petit cerf" (masc) (both mean little deer). He also likes music and that would be more like "Mon musique" (my music).
Any of these can just be said in English not every nick name or pet name is said in French.
Everyone is different so some people throw in more French some people less, nowadays people don't really speak fluent French unless they're old or rich.
Gambit was raised in a cult basically so he does get somewhat of a pass to speak more French if you want him to but it's not super common in New Orleans.
Alastor would have spoken French being from 1920s but being a radio host he probably would have also learned English and went through vocal training to get rid of his accent. ( My family has been in the Louisiana radio business for decades and they all had to train to get rid of their Cajun accents when they started working for the radio stations) Also Alastor is creole not Cajun I will explain the difference more towards the end.
If you want to add the characters speaking French you can just use Parisian French (French spoken in France) no one is gonna be upset if you do there are also no translators on the internet that I know of that have Cajun or Creole (Canadian is also acceptable if your Canadian or know Canadian)
There are a lot of different accents in Louisiana not just Cajun (called flat talk by locals most of the time) .
Some people speak with southern accents, some have Cajun but most talk like stereotypical Americans or have an accent that comes along with speaking AAVE.
Creole accents are like French and Jamaican accents combined it's pretty rare for people to have the accent nowadays though and for some people it can be slightly different
You don't have to write out accents if you don't want to.
Which leads to my next point most people in Louisiana speak in AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) especially closer to and in New Orleans.
The farther away from the 1930s-1940s the character(s) are the less French they will naturally speak and put into everyday encounters. Most people in present day Louisiana especially in areas like New Orleans don't speak French and only add in what few words they do know or are still within common use in day to day conversations.
After this point it is random facts about Louisiana ⬇️
Why did people stop speaking French in Louisiana after this specific period of time?
Great question, the answer is that there had been a law put in place at the time, that declared that everyone had to learn English as it was assigned as the official language of the United States. From what I've been told by my grandparents the law makers cited that they wanted Louisiana to be more welcoming to tourists and the large incoming crowd of refugees and migrants as the reason for the law being inacted.
My grandparents stated that it was probably so that the refugee and migrant crowds wouldn't isolate themselves to only people who spoke their languages. In order to keep unsavory groups from forming (if there were any n@zis among the German crowd, other axis power supporters among the Italians or Japan's crowds as well) they forced everyone to learn English.
I don't actually know what this law was but my grandparents have talked about it since I was little. They were forced to learn English when they hit elementary school and my great grandparents were forced to learn English or possibly lose their jobs, in some cases they were threatened with arrest or their children getting taken away.
This created fear that caused parents to decide to stop teaching their kids French. When my parents were born my grandparents barely taught them any French and mainly taught them English. Rarely anyone in my parents generation could speak or understand full French.
Some parents didn't want to teach their children French only for them to never be able to speak it outside the house.
I also have a feeling that this law was also partially put in place because of Quebec, Canada as they fought for their right to keep speaking French and threatened to become their own country if forced to conform to English like the rest of Canada. So the U.S. was probably trying to stop that from happening with Louisiana.
Also New Orleans has been regularly speaking English since before the rest of Louisiana was mandated to, because it is a port and always has been. It's also been a high tourism area for quite a while as well.
What is the difference between Cajun and Creole ?
Creole means French or Spanish settlers that came directly from the "motherland" (France or Spain) originally this term was more or less used to establish elite status as most of these people were from rich families and paid a lot of money to secure their position in the new colonies belonging to France the term was extended to the Spanish when they had control over Louisiana.
This term eventually came to blanket over slaves and their descendents as well that were under the control of these people, the current Creole culture was mainly shaped by these families as well as the families of Haitian slaves and their descendents that were also brought into Louisiana to serve the Creole people.
This is where voodoo and hoodoo become a part of creole culture because the enslaved persons brought their culture and religion with them from Africa to Haiti and then to Louisiana when they were forced to change location again.
Creole people lived mainly in New Orleans and the surrounding area, most of them owned farmland slightly farther out from the city but lived in the city center while things were tended to by enslaved persons and a person or persons designated to watch over their daily activities
Creoles didn't just enslave Africans they also enslaved impoverished European using manipulation tactics, most of these Europeans became freed people before African Americans and at some point we're given their own slaves which kept them from revolting surprisingly but in surprisingly. Creoles enslaved Cajuns when they first got to Louisiana by order of the king and then freed them when they realized they knew how to farm but gave them their own enslaved persons.
Most Creoles now are African Americans and lead an intricate culture different from Cajun culture that is mainly a mix of French and various African cultures with a little bit of Spanish culture as well.
Creole food and Cajun food aren't too different but some Cajun food has okra bases as to where creole dishes have a tomato base for most dishes as it was an over abundant resource of the New Orleans area.
Cajun people are from a French group of settlers that were originally supposed to create their own nation in Nova Scotia, Canada. They were a bunch of farmers sent there for the purpose of creating an agricultural specific nation using Canadian soil and plants.
Their county was called Acadia and they were called the Acadian people, they technically were not ruled by the king of France and were their own nation, this in fact caused problems especially because they were a young nation and were composed of farmers with no military or combat training and little to no weapons.
With no support from the king or way to form their own military, England forced them to pledge allegiance to rather the king of England or the king of France so they knew where Acadia stood, Acadia asked for help from France, France refused because they were their own nation and they didn't want to pledge allegiance to the king of England
So in true English fashion they burned the nation of Acadia to the ground and forced the Acadian people to leave, the Acadians went to Louisiana in hopes that they would help, the Creoles enslaved them and stuck them where they believed the land was uninhabitable and they would perish because of the order of the king of France
The Acadians being farmers were able to pick up on how to properly farm the land after being shown by natives (my tribe yay) and when the Creoles checked on them and found them alive the king of France made them free people's and gave them land from Acadiana, their new area of living in Louisiana to the what is now the lafourche parish area.
They were given enslaved persons and were put in charge of helping make Louisiana's exports a larger market. Cajun culture and dishes come from a mixture of Acadian, native American and African culture put together with the resources of the area, these dishes spread to the Creoles and were changed to match the resources of the New Orleans area and imported goods.
Cajuns are called Cajuns because the English misheard the name Acadian and so everyone started calling them Cajuns.
Cajun and Creole today doesn't nearly have as many connotations as the past, it mainly just means your family is from this Acadiana area or from New Orleans and you're a descendent of one of these groups
Do Cajuns and Creoles have beef with each other?
Nope, any beefing is mainly joking, and is specifically about the differences in the same dishes between the two cultures.
Does it matter if someone is Cajun or Creole?
Once again nope, Louisiana is a big mixing pot of cultures so no one really cares, everyone loves celebrating the different cultures in Louisiana especially of the newer groups that have joined over the decades through immigration.
I only specified with Alastor because I've seen people call him Cajun when vivzy has stated multiple times that he's Creole.
Enough about Cajuns here's some info on Mardi Gras:
Mardi Gras is one day at the end of the carnival season.
It's on a different day each year because it is a Catholic holiday and goes by the Catholic calendar which changes every year.
Mardi Gras means "fat Tuesday" which is the Catholic holiday the day before ash Wednesday which is a day of fasting and sobriety.
You don't have to be Catholic to celebrate.
Even though it's a Catholic holiday all of the parades are based on Greek and Egyptian mythology
The carnival season is different every year and lasts between 1-2 months before Mardi Gras day, Brazil has a similar celebration at the same time called carnival as well for the same reason.
The carnival season is typically in January- February or March.
All bars close at midnight on Mardi Gras day once it hits ash Wednesday and very few of them are open on ash Wednesday later in the day.
There are family friendly Mardi Gras parades which are most of them and specific parades for adults, typically at night, please don't flash your boobs that's illegal and makes people uncomfortable, the adult parades mean that they might give out alcohol and beads or other float throws that will contain adult symbols like marijuana or nudity. Some of these they throw things like purses and shoes and that's why it's classified as adult.
Anyone can join the parade even people not from New Orleans you just have to pay a fee for whichever parade you want to be in to secure a spot on a float and buy the beads and stuff that you throw, some parade you have to have a specific amount of items, to be allowed on the float
Some people go to other parades to get beads and other stuff for them to throw at their own parades (my family does this with the radio station vans lol)
People on floats throw beads, plushies, party favors, hand clappers, cups, dablooms , recorders and other plastic instruments, bouncy balls, other types of balls, inflatables, candy, chips , ramen, hair clips, plastic swords and plastic tomahawks
Most of the balls for specific parades are closed events for people on the committee but there are masquerade and non masquerade balls and parties held across the city throughout the carnival season, there is even one specifically for Neuro divergent people.
There is a kink parade, that is called "southern decadence" it is a gay pride parade that focuses on sex, kinks, drag burlesque and finding people to hook up with this happens typically around august. If you tell people your going to a gay pride parade they will side eye you because they assume it's this one and not the family friendly ones that happen in June.
The only other parades outside of carnival season and pride are a Christmas parade (krampus), a Halloween parade and st Patrick's Day parade (Irish and Italian American heritage parade)
A king cake is basically a cinnamon roll log that doesn't get cut into individual cinnamon rolls and gets formed into a ring and baked then has vanilla icing with colored sugar on top. There is a baby inside but if you pre order it you can ask for the baby to be put on the side or not included at all. The baby means you buy the next king cake and you will have luck.
It's encouraged to wear costumes to parades but you don't have to, it does get you more beads.
Have a bag or something to put your beads in if you wear them throughout the parade it will be painful and it will get you less stuff thrown at you.
Other random things about Louisiana I think are important:
It's warm throughout the year because this is a sub tropical area, in the summer it is constantly between 89°-115° please don't put characters in long sleeves or tons of layers in the summer.
It rains a lot like 50% of the year it rains
Not every part of Louisiana is swamp
There is no deep woods of massive swamps in the middle of the city of New Orleans, there are a few in the surrounding area but those are an hour -hour and a half out of your way by car at minimum
Hoodoo is magic , voodoo is a religion they are connected but not the same thing not everyone that practices voodoo practices hoodoo and vice versa. PLEASE DON'T MESS WITH THESE RELIGIOUS OR MAGICAL ARTIFACTS WITHOUT SOME WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF IT OR CONSENT/ PERMISSIONS, PLEASE FOLLOW THE RULES IN THE SHOPS.
There are also many practicing pagans and wiccans in New Orleans same rules apply.
Yes there are second lines (marching bands for parties) constantly going through the city but most of them are for funerals don't join them unless you're told you can.
Most people from Louisiana have pretty bad seasonal allergies
There is way more to the city of New Orleans then the French quarter, the French quarter is only like 10 streets
We have a ferry that goes from Algiers (west bank New Orleans) to New Orleans proper (east bank, actually main part to the city) it lets out at the aquarium. There is another one that goes from Algiers to Chalmette (part of the greater New Orleans area)
The greater New Orleans area is the area around New Orleans where most of the people that work and hangout in New Orleans actually live, this includes Jefferson parish and st. Bernard parish. There is still a high population of people who live in the city itself.
Baton Rouge is the capital of Louisiana it is about an hour and a half west of New Orleans by car
People go to Grand Isle, Louisiana or to Biloxi, Mississippi to go to the beach
There is a water park outside of Baton Rouge called blue bayou that's really popular the other water park in the area is Jellystone but most people call it yogi bear because it's a yogi bear theme park
Fairs happen in Louisiana between May - June and then again in September - October
Around Christmas most parks have Christmas lights displays that you can drive or walk through or Christmas villages
People actually play jazz music on street corners in New Orleans, it's not every street corner and most of them are concentrated to being closer to the French quarter
Most bars have a mixture of live music and a dj more upscale places with stick to jazz but most other places have rock, hip hop, r&b, rap and bounce, closer to Lafayette they play zydeco more often then jazz
Louisiana is the state with the second highest gambling rate behind Nevada, there are multiple casinos in Louisiana and even private gambling clubs that you have to know someone to get into
Street cars are like busses on set rails, basically an above ground subway system. You have to pay a fee to ride and can find out the various paths that these take through the RTA (New Orleans public transportation) system or station
You can get electrocuted if you stand on the street car rails if the street car is close by and not stopped, if you see one coming towards you get off of the rails so you don't get hit it takes a little while to stop the car.
Hurricane season begins in May and ends at the beginning of November
People in New Orleans keep pet chickens and some of them just let them roam the neighborhood. So it's not uncommon to see a chicken walking around in a residential neighborhood
Some people in Louisiana have houses raised on stilts because of flooding, their are stairs to get to the house (I've had tourists ask me about this before that's why I'm mentioning it)
Yes we can tell when you're a tourist it's pretty obvious (typically it's because they try to hard to fit in or they wear beads outside of Mardi Gras and get drunk at 12 pm)
New Orleans is the largest city in Louisiana
You will find many different cultures in Louisiana not just Cajuns and Creoles because of immigration, these cultures are all very much celebrated in Louisiana
The most common non English languages spoken in New Orleans are Spanish, Vietnamese and Arabic as currently.
Here's some food from Louisiana:
A quarter of New Orleans (not the French quarter) smells like coffee because of the community coffee plant and during certain times of the year with strong winds the whole city smells like coffee
We eat red beans and rice on Monday's to honor deceased enslaved persons as they would typically eat red beans and rice once a week because they were only allowed to eat protein once a week. Not everyone knows that, I learned about this from Whitney plantation they might have information about it on their website. Not everyone eats red beans and rice every Monday or only on Monday's that's just tradition.
For creole version remember to add tomatoes
Seasoning blend is onions, red bell pepper, celery, parsley, and garlic
Jambalaya:
A dish where you cook down meat and seasoning blend and seasonings, typically the meat is chicken and sausage together then add rice and water into the pot and cook until rice is soft.
Sometimes people add cubed pork or beef, peeled shrimp, peeled crawfish, or other left over meats they have on hand.
Gumbo
A thinned brown stew with seasoning blend, at least chicken and sausage and seasonings, served over rice with fíle (a ground sassafras seasoning)
Other meats included peeled shrimp, peeled crawfish , deshelled or soft shell crab, and oysters
Cajuns sometimes add smothered okra Creoles typically add stewed / smothered tomatoes, I've seen some people add both it's up to preferences and family recipes.
Often served with potato salad
Étouffée
Peeled shrimp or peeled crawfish, seasoning and seasoning blend served in a cream shellfish flavored gravy served over rice
Sauce Piquante
Chicken, shrimp or catfish stewed in a mixture of seasoning blend, seasoning, Rotel , crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes and tomato sauce, served over rice
One of few dishes that have no changes between Cajun and Creole recipes
Boudin
Rice dressing in a sausage casing, typically steamed or smoked
Cracklins
Extra crispy fried pork skins with some meat still attached covered in spices
Po-boy
Warm deli meats or fried seafood, sometimes in gravy on French bread (not baguettes) with mayo, lettuce and tomatoes
Sometimes has cheese, pickles or mustard typically left to customer preference on this one
Beignet
Square fried donuts covered in powdered sugar
Typically eaten with coffee, tea, hot chocolate or chocolate milk
King cakes
Cinnamon roll log made into a ring formation with vanilla icing and colored sugar on top, has a baby inside that means you buy the next king cake if you get it and good luck
Can have different fillings
Seasonal to January through March
Natchitoches meat pie
Pie dough filled with ground beef or crawfish baked into a hand held pie.
Sorry that this is so much information I hope this is helpful for people who want to write about characters from Louisiana.
Hope this helps @lifes-line sorry it's so long.
#deadpool and wolverine gambit#x men gambit#gambit#remy labeau#fanfiction#xmen fanfiction#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel#alastor fanfiction#hazbin hotel fanfiction#I'm sorry it's so long that is my b
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tbh I personally find women rabbis particularly open to chatting and also particularly affirming people in general. I'm not knocking men rabbis at all, just my best experiences learning about Judaism have all been with Jewish women, several of whom have been rabbis.
I'm not Jewish, but my first easily-accessible exposure to Judaism and Jewish culture as like, a living community of people was through things like tumblr posts made by Jews. And yes, they were often queer/disabled/leftist Jews because a lot of the people I follow are queer, disabled, leftist etc.
It wasn't my first attempt at learning about Judaism but like... a lot of resources that aren't about pogroms and the Holocaust tend to assume that the reader is already familiar with Judaism. My knowledge about Judaism (that wasn't about antisemitism) from school was like "they only believe in the Old Testament, they don't eat pork, and they celebrate Passover and Hanukkah (and the stories behind those)" which I understand is technically correct but incredibly lacking. It's kinda like jumping from the most basic arithmetic to calculus, I guess (I don't really get calculus tbh).
I have been able to do more research and use less 'accessible' sources now, but it's because of those tumblr posts that I was able to understand those sources and know what lines of inquiry to pursue.
(Also it gave me the knowledge that by asking questions about Judaism I wasn't going to get aggressive conversion attempts, which was incredibly reassuring. My experiences with Christianity have been like, they lure you in with free cheese toasties and then try to get you to sign up for a baptism. I'm not exaggerating, this literally happened to me.)
Omg. The amount of gentiles who have told me that they wanna learn more about Judaism directly from jews but are afraid to talk to a rabbi bc they're worried it will lock them onto some kind of mandatory conversion pathway is extremely sad to me bc 1. WOW EVANGELISM IS SCARY and 2. talking to rabbis can be very fun depending on the rabbi and in my experience many are very delighted to get to explain stuff to people who are legitimately interested I mean lots of times being a rabbi is just being a nerd whose special interest is Jewish Stuff
ANYWAY
I'm glad you've been able to expand your knowledge in a way that makes you comfortable!
#judaism#I am not jewish fyi#although I found out as an adult that my father has Jewish heritage#that he just never told us about#which honestly wtf dad#he was like I thought you knew#how would we have known that dad
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𓉸ྀི l.mk LIKE A VIRGIN
Pairing > Yandere!Lee Mark x Fem!Reader
Genre > Horror (slasher type), Murder Mystery, College frat AU, smut (MDNI), loosely based in late 90s (there may be minor inconsistencies)
Sypnosis > As the fifth year anniversary of what the public coined the 'Vestal Murders' approaches, strange occurrences begin to happen. Leaving the public frightened there may be a copycat killer on the loose, and you worried that he might be there to finish the job.
Warnings > Cursing, drinking, smoking, death, Major character death (but also not really?), SMUT (MDNI), Dry humping, oral sex (f recieving), protected sex (wrap it up yall come on), stalking, Mark is actually crazy just an FYI
Word Count > 13.6k
A/N > This is the first to a series i’m working on for halloween so i hope if u enjoy this you enjoy the others! This is also my first time writing such a long fic and smut so bear with me please.
playlist > Like a Virgin- Madonna, Oblivion- Grimes, Somebody’s watching me- Rockwell
Lucville, October 12th
October was a fun month for most people. There was the official start of fall and of course halloween season. There was no one happier than your friends, you on the other hand were not a fan.
Something about Halloween just gave you the creeps. Which, yes may be its exact purpose, but that didn’t mean you had to like it. Besides, you preferred Spring anyway.
You sat on your desk chair next to your bed, head hanging back as your body laid limp on the seat. Your friend, Yuqi, was sorting through your closet. Well what was left of the clothes in your closet. She had thrown half of your wardrobe onto the floor, searching for the perfect outfit for tonight.
“Do I have to go?” You groaned, “Like really?”
It wasn’t like you to want to go out and party and your friends knew that, which is why tonight was a special occasion.
“Your parents aren’t going to let you stay home alone, considering recent events.”
“I’d say five years ago is hardly recent.”
There was a series of disappearances that led up to Halloween when you were in your early years of high school. It was three different people who happened to live within your town, some even attended the same school as you. It was a small town, yet you wouldn’t have considered yourself close to any of the students, except for one.
Jihoon was one of your older brother, Inhyuk’s longest and closest friends. You remember how they’d always hang out at your house after school playing video games. Jihoon was always so sweet to you, inviting you into their hangouts so you wouldn’t be alone. Even with the four year age gap you couldn’t help but develop a puppy crush on him.
A week had passed since his disappearance, everyone expected that the kids were playing a senior prank and would return shortly, your brother knew differently. He grew more distressed as the days passed. You remember how annoying it was that he wouldn’t allow you to go anywhere without him right by your side.
That protectiveness only got worse when the bodies had been discovered. The TV was playing a re run of IT in honor of Halloween when an emergency news broadcast appeared.
“It appears the bodies of multiple missing persons have been discovered after police received an anonymous report leading to an investigation of Velvet Lake.”
Chills ran down your spine as the names of the kids appeared on screen, Jihoon being one of the three. Your brother had taken it badly, he couldn’t leave his room for months. That’s why as soon as he graduated he took a scholarship across the globe and never came back.
It only made the house emptier. Your father was always traveling abroad on business so he was hardly ever around, and your mother who was a surgeon at S.E.S, the towns local hospital, was working overtime. That left you alone most of the time when you weren’t with your friends.
“I’m not talking about that Virgin killer, i’m talking about those people who were mauled by a bear or something in Melody.”
Melody was the neighboring town to yours closer to the city, and as far as you knew, there wasn’t much wildlife there.
“A bear? How would a bear even be there?”
“How would I know. My dad just said what he saw on today’s paper.” She shrugged pulling a shirt from your closet and bringing it up to your chest.
“It’s not Virgin Killer by the way, it’s Vestal.”
“Same difference. I think this is it by the way.” She motioned her head to the mirror behind you. It was a green and brown tube top with a turtleneck she had chosen for you to wear. It was cropped, exposing your waist down. You’d argue it wasn’t exactly appropriate for the weather but Yuqi never took that into account.
“Perfect.” She smiled and headed back to your closet. “Now we gotta find matching pants.”
“Isn’t it kind of stupid that they’re hosting a party already. Halloween isn’t even til three weeks from now.”
“Y/N you should know already they will throw a party for any reason.” Her voice comes out muffled. You roll your eyes knowing she’s searching the deep depths of your closet.
“What’s the point in that, aren’t parties supposed to be special?”
“Y/N, college parties are an excuse for us to get drunk and have fun. What’s more special than that?”
You trace out the words ‘HELP ME’ on the desk with your finger, whining. “Nothing for me, so do I have to go?”
You’re suddenly hit on the side of your head. You look down at a the floor where a juniper maxi skirt lays on the floor.
“You play this same game every time and end up dragged to the party anyway,” Yuqi bursts, “We’re going. So put those on and stop your bitching.”
You sigh in defeat, grabbing the skirt and beginning to change into the clothes before the sound of the doorbell goes off.
Yuqi lets a breath out. “That’s probably Minnie I’ll go get her. Stay here and don’t try and get away.” She pleads with emphases on ‘ don’t ‘ before leaving your room.
You change into your clothes, staring at yourself in the mirror. The amount of skin showing makes you a bit uncomfortable so you reach for a black leather jacket on the floor from Yuqi’s assault on your closet. You put it on feeling much more content hearing the approaching voices of your friends.
“You should really learn to stop popping up out of nowhere and call before you’re coming over.”
“I paged you guys.” Minnie spoke evidently.
You snicker, “You still carrying yours around?“
She rolls her eyes, “Okay you’re just lucky your mom and dad can afford to get you a cell.”
You shrug.
“It’s getting late, we should get going.” Yuqi says putting her own jacket on. You grab onto her before she can slip out the door.
“And this mess?”
The entire room looked as if it was part of the titanic wreckage. You could hardly see the floor with the piles of clothing covering it. She looks around then at you with an innocent smile. “I’ll help later.”
You take a breath knowing that was a lie, but following your friends out of the house nonetheless.
This better be worth it.
The frat house is about as messy as you would’ve expected. Red solo cups are left on every surface of the house, and you were sure not a single one of them was filled with water. There was a crowd in the living room surrounding a game of foosball between two guys you were sure were on the football team.
At some point your group separated to go meet up with other people. This was exactly why you hated coming to parties. Within a minute of walking through the front door, Yuqi would met up with her drama club friends and Minnie left with some group of stoners. You walked around hoping to find something to drink to pass time.
You walked into the kitchen finding a small trio of familiar faces hovering around the fridge. Two of the three idiots were taunting the youngest while he stood confused. You slowly sneak up and approach them startling them at the sound of your voice.
“You guys some sort of watch dogs for the drinks or?”
“Jesus fuck when did you get here?”
You shrug, gesturing your hands for them to move from the fridge. “Like twenty minutes ago.” You grab a coke out of the fridge and crack it open taking a sip.
“You came alone little fox, or in your usual set?”
You cringed at the nickname used. Johnny, the eldest of the frat, loved to call you that because of how sneaky you were. It wasn’t ever purposely, you just happened to ‘pop up out of nowhere’ sometimes according to others.
“Yuqi and Minnie went to go find their own cliques.”
“And left you to fend for yourself? That’s not good manners.” Yuta was the second eldest although he acted far from it. He and Johnny had been underclass men to your brother when they were in high school so you guys were pretty close.
“Stealing one of Kun’s cokes isn’t well mannered either.” Johnny teased.
“He’ll live.” You say taking another sip.
“You really shouldn’t be wandering around all by yourself y/n, it’s not very safe.” Mark, the youngest chimes in. Mark was in a grade higher than you, you had never been very close with him until a year ago though, seeing as he began to spend time more with your friend group.
He was a quiet type, kept to himself a lot of the time, and was usually the victim of a joke. He was very sweet though. Minnie pointed out that the last frat party you couldn’t attend, he wouldn’t stop asking her about you.
When she told him you were sick he seemed concerned and gave her shit for just leaving you behind. You felt a blush creeping in at the thought of him carrying so much about you.
“Awww why do you care so much about y/n?” Yuta says squeezing the younger’s cheeks. He slaps his hand off of him and Yuta only bursts out laughing.
“He’s right little fox,” Johnny says directed to you. He was always trying to sound wise. “I mean didn’t you notice the way Sungchan has been eyeing you all night?”
You didn’t. Sungchan had hit on you at the last frat party your friends attended in which you respectfully declined. The way the guys were talking though was as if he was some stalker, your skin crawled at the thought.
“You’re just saying that.”
“It’s true. His attention is always on you, even when you’re not paying attention.”
“Let’s face it, she’s never paying attention.” Yuta adds.
“And that’s exactly why you gotta be careful. College men can’t be trusted.”
You scoff, “You do realize you are included in that generalization. College man.”
Yuta pokes Johnny, putting him on the spot. “She got you there.” The eldest only rolls his eyes. Yuta might seem drunk to most people, and maybe he was, but you and your friends knew he was just the playful type.
“I think Johnny is right, especially around this season. You never know what could happen.” Mark’s sentence trails off.
“Oh chills,” Yuta says raising his arm, “You gave me chills Mark. You’re talking about that Virgin taker right?”
Johnny’s eyebrows furrow, “I don’t think that’s the name.”
“Whatever you know what I mean. He slaughtered all those puritans didn’t he?”
“A little insensitive don’t you think?”
“What? You mad he couldn’t take yours too?” He replies with a wink and sip of his beer. You take it back, he was definitely drunk.
This time you let out a giggle, it was always fun being around these idiots. “Vestal. Can’t believe i’ve had to correct two people on that today.” You shake your head.
“Who was the first?” Mark asks curiously.
“Yuqi, speaking of, I should probably start looking for her. I’m ready to bounce.”
“I thought I saw she left out earlier with some girl with short hair?”
“Great. So she left me and Minnie to get laid.” You say sarcastically.
Johnny clicks his tongue. “You must’ve broken a mirror, little fox. Minnie left out with the boys to go get some food. Munchies, you know.”
You groan, sinking your head into your hand. “They drag me here for no reason. Okay i’m leaving now, i’ll see you guys when I do.”
“You walking alone?” Mark‘s voice comes out full of concern.
You shrug. “Seems like it.”
“I can walk you home if you don’t mind?” He suggests.
“Thank you, but really It’s okay.” You’re already heading towards the door, throwing your empty can in the trash when you hear Yuta’s voice.
“Careful Y/N, don’t let the virgin killer get ya.”
You keep your sight forward, flicking him off as you leave.
You walk through your front door, sliding the locks on instantly. Your shoulders drop, the stress leaving your body. Walking home alone was what you did regularly, only this time it felt different. It felt like someone was accompanying you, even if it was only you walking your regular route home.
The fifteen minutes felt longer than usual but that could’ve rang true since you stopped a few times to look around swearing you could feel eyes on you. That’s why as soon as you got home you turned on all of the lights in your home.
Stupid Yuta. He was always saying something to put you on edge.
You turn on the TV and are shocked to find that the news is still on.
“Due to a power outage the following locations have been left with no power over sixty percent of people are left with no clue on when it will be repaired. Schools and Universities have decided to postpone classes for the time being. People are outraged, some believing this upcoming blood moon could be the reasoning for the power outages.”
The list of cities and towns comes up. Melody, Lucville, Graze town , and 0 mile.
Lucville. That couldn’t be right, you had power right now. The phone rings loudly from the kitchen, pulling you from your thoughts. You get up to check, walking to the counter and pulling the phone to your ear.
“Hell–”
“Did you hear??? The campus closed down cause of some weird power thing, it’s not coming back til November.” Yuqi’s voice cuts yours off.
“I did yeah but that doesn’t make any sense,” You object, “my power’s working.”
“Yeah it’s only effecting places like the police stations and schools, some hospitals too. Don’t read too much into it just be happy we have no classes.”
“Yeah I guess you’re right.”
“I gotta go now, my bed calls me. I only called to make sure you got home. Minnie told me you left alone.”
“The bed or the person in it,” You hear her squeak like she’d been caught. “Don’t forget you owe me a clean room.”
“I’ll get to it tomorrow, promise.”
“Whatever.” You hang up.
At that moment you hear a knock at the front door. You check the time. 1:40am. Weird, your mom was held up at work and your father was still out of town. You walk over to the front door checking the peep hole and seeing nothing.
That’s strange.
You unlock the door and open it, looking around the area. It was just an empty street, not a single light was on from any house. You close the door guessing it could’ve been from the TV, when the phone rings again.
You walk over to the kitchen grabbing the phone. “Hello?”
You’re met with silence.
You scoff, “Yuta? If this is your idea of a prank you should really move on. Everyone’s seen Scream by now.” You hang up.
Even though you were very sure it was just Yuta who was prank calling, you can’t help but feel a shiver run down your spine. You reach up over the counter opening the cabinet to grab a glass when the phone rings again.
You jump, the glass dropping from your finger tips and crashing into the ground. You groan, carefully crossing the glass without stepping in it and reaching for the phone.
“Yuta I swear to god the next time I see you, you better have a jockstrap on!” You shout before being cut off.
“Woah y/n are you okay?”
You sigh in relief. “Mark?”
“Yeah, I was calling to make sure you got home safe. Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing, just got a bit spooked with a call earlier.”
“I’m guessing Yuta?”
“Ding Ding Ding. Guess i’m victim to his little halloween pranks.”
“I’ll talk to him about it.”
“Don’t bother, I can handle him.”
“I’m sure you can,” He chuckles, “Jockstrap?”
“It’s a clear warning in case he does want kids in the future.”
You can hear his smile through the phone, it helps ease your mind. “Assuming he doesn’t already have some running around?”
You let out a chuckle. “You’re right. He’ll be fine without any more.”
The laugh he lets out is contagious. “I gotta clean up a bit here, i’m glad you called though.” You meant it.
“Of course, wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. Who else would keep the guys in check?”
You can’t help the blush that fills your cheeks. “Bye, Mark.”
“I’ll see you later y/n.” The call ends.
You quickly clean up the mess before heading back into your brother’s old room to sleep. It was completely empty save for the TV left on a counter and a loan poster of Madonna on the wall.
You turn off the lights hoping to god you will make tomorrow’s morning shift at the diner.
It was about thirty minutes left of your shift before you were finally free. You rubbed your face to keep yourself awake. It was Monday morning shift and usually they weren’t that busy, but since classes were all canceled for the next week, you noticed a lot more students came to the diner.
You worked at Salty & Sweet Diner for over a year already. It gave you something to do when you weren’t at school so you wouldn’t have to spend all your time at home by yourself. It also gave you money you could use to go out with friends instead of depending on your parents.
“Looking terrible y/n.” The man who is next in line looks up at you with a mocking smile.
“As do you, What can I get for you today YangYang? Same as usual?”
He nodded, “Extra whipped cream don’t forget it.”
You write down his order on a notepad. “And you?”
“Are you on the menu?” Jaehyun jokes.
“Limited time only and you just missed it.”
Jaehyun and YangYang were usually in the frat basement getting high when they weren’t attending classes, so their presence today was surprising.
“The guys should be getting here soon.” Jaehyun comments, “Something about it being your shift so we should come over to annoy you?”
“I thought I mentioned if i see any of you in here i’ll have my manager ban you guys.”
“Nice try, Your manager was busy last night getting high with us.” YangYang points his finger at Minnie, who’s counting the register behind you.
The diner was owned by Minnie’s parents which is how you landed the job in the first place. You were great full most times, but not now. At that moment the door rings signaling another customer coming. You can spot the idiot from miles away.
“Y/N, how are you did you miss me?” He says enthusiastically. You roll your eyes.
“I wouldn’t even miss you if you died.”
“Ouch.” He grabs at his chest dramatically. Before you can berate him you’re cut off by the familiar, comforting voice.
“Hey y/n, how’s your shift going?” Mark says, his attention fixed onto you.
“It’s fine. What are you doing here?” You respond shyly.
“The guys wanted to annoy you but I only came to make sure you were alright.”
“I’m okay.” You could feel the awkwardness radiating off of your body.
“That’s good,” He clears his throat. “So, the guys were actually going to host another party this weekend. I was wondering if It’ll be okay if i keep my hopes up to see you.”
You wait a second before responding. “I can’t confirm whether you will be disappointed or not.” He nods at your answer when a voice cuts into your conversation.
“You won’t be. She will be there.” Minnie’s voice rings out.
You look at her, eyes wide. She only gives a tight smile. It’s her signature ‘Don’t even try it’ look.
Yuta speaks this time, “Great, so i’m guessing you will all three be there?”
“You guessed correctly.” She grins, “I’ll let Yuqi know about it. Y/N you can go now.”
“My shift isn’t over?”
“Yeah well I’m sure Hyungseo has no problem covering your shift for you.”
“Who‘s Hyungseo?” Yuta asks teasingly.
“The chef who can’t keep his eyes off of our little Y/N here,” Minnie winks at you. “Go on now Y/n, you can go.”
You give her a look before heading to the back to change out of your apron. Before you’re completely out of sight you can hear the group tease the youngest.
“You’re as red as Minnie’s old wash cloth right now.”
“Hey man knock it off.” Minnie replies.
Mark can only turn away, “I’m heading to the restroom.”
On your way out, a voice stops you in your tracks. Sungchan sits in his seat, a milkshake in front of him.
“Sungchan, i’m off the clock if you needed something I could let Minnie know.”
“Huh?” He turns his head to his drink realizing what it looks like to you, “No actually I just wanted to ask you.” He trails off his sentence. You stand there confused waiting for him to continue. “You’re going to be at Yuta’s party right?”
“I don’t really have a choice.”
His laughter is strained, “Well I was wondering if I see you there, would you want to–“
His voice is cut off by the yelling coming from where your group of friends stand. You see that two of the boys have decided to try and race to see who can finish their milkshake first, glad you clocked out before having to deal with that.
“Yeah i’ll see you there,” You say to Sungchan, leaving him to his drink. “I gotta go, enjoy your food.”
He nods giving you a small smile, “Bye Y/N.”
Once you’re home you can’t wait but head straight to the shower. You set the water to warm before stripping and standing directly under the stream of water. The warmth hits you and you let out a sigh, letting the water run down your body and soak into your hair.
Minutes pass of silence, the only sound being the running water. Your eyes are closed as you begin rinsing the remaining shampoo in your hair. You hear the faintest tap of the door, opening your eyes in an instant.
You turn the facet off stepping out of the shower and grabbing your towel, only now realizing your clothes weren’t there.
I swear I brought clothes?
Your heart drops as you begin to hear muffled voices coming from your house. You stand frozen in front of the bathroom door. You can hear your heart thumping as if it’s directly in your ears.
After moments of contemplating you choose to open the door. You follow the voices that are coming from the living room. The TV is on.
“Parents stand here today at the memorial sight with flowers and candles to honor the upcoming five year anniversary of the Vestal Murderer’s victims. The victims–“
You turn off the TV, deciding to ignore it and head back into your room to change into a pajama set.
October 19th
This party is boring. You had chosen to stick by Minnie’s side after experiencing the weirdest phenomenons for the past week. You had about three other times items had been misplaced in your home. You were slowly growing more agitated than anything, so when Minnie suggested you join them in their smoke session you didn’t decline.
You sat in between Minnie and YangYang, opting out of smoking after a single rotation. You weren’t a smoker so three puffs and one coughing fit later you were done for the night.
Your friends sat in a circle, recounting stories to one another. You couldn’t really focus on anything but keeping your eyes open though.
There’s a knock at the door, pulling your attention from the cup in your hands and towards the sound. Jaehyun gets up to get the door, speaking to the man on the other side with a hushed voice. It’s only when you lean to the side that you notice it’s Mark.
You turn over to Minnie by your side, tapping her shoulder to get her attention.
“I want to go get another drink.” Minnie nods her head, letting YangYang know she’s gonna be right back. You both sit up heading towards the door where Jaehyun looks annoyed.
“Is something wrong?” Minnie asks, inserting herself into their conversation.
“Just Johnny stealing our room for the night. He needs some ‘privacy’ for that girl he brought over.” He says rolling his eyes.
You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, it was funny that he was so bothered by something you knew for a fact he was very guilty of.
“You mad you couldn’t book it first?” Minnie jokes.
“Y/N, I thought you left?” Mark questions.
“No, well I was but then Minnie invited me up so,” You let out a breath motioning your hands to the room. “I’m here.”
You can hear laughter from Jaehyun and Minnie who find your current condition hilarious. It only makes you join their cackling. Mark stays watching the three of you very confused.
“Right,” He says slowly. “You guys are leaving now?”
“Just getting a refill.” Minnie brings her cup up showing the emptiness of it.
“You guys getting more drinks? Get me a–“
“Get it yourself.” You knock down Jaehyun before he can finish his sentence. He frowns. “Come on Minnie.” She follows you out the door, leaving the two boys to their own conversation.
You and Minnie stand in the kitchen, well Minnie stands. You’re sat on the counter as she searches the cabinets for more booze. You look over to the living room where you see a mix of unfamiliar and familiar faces engage in a game of Cup Pong.
“Here,” Minnie grabs your attention, handing your cup back to you. You grab it and take a sip, frowning at the taste. “It’s water. God knows you need it.”
You take another sip, setting it down on the counter afterwards. “Thanks.”
“You heard earlier right?” She says, taking a drink out of her own. You cock your head to the side, not picking up what she’s saying. “Siwon was asking what I was doing later tonight and if i wanted to ‘hang’.” She adds quotation marks with her fingers.
If you had the water in your hands you were very sure it would’ve spilled everywhere. “You’re kidding.”
“I wish I was.” Her face full of disgust.
“I too, wish you were.” Yuqi adds from behind you. You jump at her sudden appearance. “When did you get here?”
“Just now. Which reminds me,” She brings herself up onto the counter leaning in to the two of you. “You know that high school kid I told you guys about who joined our club, Minjae?” You both nodded. “He tried putting moves on me.”
Minnie chokes on her drink. Yuqi immediately hitting her back to help her catch her breath. “What the hell is wrong with you.”
“Right now?” You question in disbelief.
“While you two were busy getting stoned.”
Minnie lets out one last cough, “What did you say?”
“Of course not. That’s a kid, I want nothing to do with that.” Yuqi says almost offended that Minnie even had to ask.
“You were a high schooler when you hit on Soyeon.”
“Well yeah, but that’s different. Me and Soyeon were only a year apart. He’s like two years younger.”
Minnie shrugs, “You’re just scared he’s going to get attached if you take his V-Card like you did with Soyeon.”
“Hey,” She hits Minnie’s shoulder, “Next time i’ll let you choke.”
“You remember how you were, puppy eyes always following her around.” Minnie says bringing fists to her cheeks. “You were so cute before you chose to become a heartbreaker.”
Yuqi hits Minnie’s hands off of her. “Do you have a death wish?”
“Ah you’re so mean now.” Minnie whines, “Y/N, when you finally get to bed don’t become like Yuqi.”
“As if that would happen any time soon, guys aren’t exactly all over me. Besides, I want it to be special.” You say bringing your arms to your chest.
Yuqi makes a face at Minnie. The girls sharing a glance you aren’t able to understand.
“What?” You press.
“Don’t worry about guys not being interested in you, worry about the guard dog of yours keeping them from approaching.” Minnie speaks as if it’s an obvious answer.
“What do you mean?”
Before you can press any further a figure approaches your circle. “You guys okay?”
“Never better.” Yuqi smiles, hopping off of the counter.
You face where mark stands. You weren’t able to really take in his appearance earlier but now that he was leaning on the counter, you were able to dissect him as if he were a test subject on a science lab table.
You thought the water was helping sober you up but apparently not enough with the way your brain was making up horrible comparisons.
You couldn’t help the blush on your face as you noticed the outline of muscles on the man’s forearms. He wasn’t even flexing and they were still apparent.
His plain white tee didn’t stop your brain from what your friends would call ‘eye fucking’ the man in front of you. It fit him like a glove, capturing his broad shoulders and his chest the way you wish you could.
“You okay y/n?” He spoke, pulling you out of your trance.
“Uhh, yeah.” You turn to where your friends are smirking at you, reading you easily. “What were we talking about?”
“How it’s pretty late and you should get home soon.”
“And how Mark should probably take you back home.” Minnie adds smoothly.
“Would you be okay with that?” Mark looks over to you.
There’s a brief silence as everyone waits for your answer. You give a tight smile, “Sure.”
“Great, well we have to go.” Yuqi says pulling Minnie with her out of the kitchen, “See you tomorrow Y/N!”
You were lucky the man in front of you was so oblivious to your friend’s actions. You put your arms down to help get you off of the counter the way Yuqi did earlier. A pair of hands find their way around your waist before you can.
“Here let me help you.” Mark pulls you off the counter with no struggle. You can’t help the warmth creeping in your stomach from his grip around you.
“Thanks.” You say, his hands leaving your waist as you stand steady on your own feet. You hope he doesn’t notice the way you can’t look him in the eye. “Let’s go.”
The cool autumn air was enough to sober you up if only by a little. Mark walked silently beside you noticing the way you wrapped your arms around yourself trying to keep warm. You’re too busy thinking about how much longer this walk will be when you feel hands wrapping around your shoulder.
“You were shivering.” He says leaving his jacket on you.
“Thanks.” You mumble, feeling instant relief from the cool air.
You can smell a hint of vanilla on it, his signature cologne. You smile silently to yourself bringing your hands to your mouth to warm them, and to keep him from noticing the faint pink in your cheeks.
“I’m glad I can walk you home, I was a bit worried last time you answered the call sounding panicked.”
You recall the memory. He did sound a bit startled through the phone. “I’m okay, i’m glad you get to walk me home anyway.”
There’s another round of silence. You notice your street in the distance, trying to come up with what to say. He speaks before you’re able to utter a word.
“You look really pretty tonight by the way.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. He realizes how his sentence came off, backtracking his earlier statement. “You always look pretty I mean. I just– You really suit my jacket.”
“I don’t know if I should thank you for the jacket or the compliment.”
“You don’t have to thank me at all, i’m only stating the obvious.”
You look up smiling at him which feels so easy to do whenever he’s around. You notice the beauty marks all over his face and neck, wishing you could analyze them closer.
“That’s my place over there.” You break the silence pointing over to your house. He looks to you, “I’m glad you have arrived safely.”
“I’m glad you could bring me.”
You both are standing face to face for a moment, observing each other and waiting for someone to make the first move. He speaks first.
“I don’t want to hold you in the cold for any longer.”
You reach to take off his jacket, “Oh, here’s your–“
“No need,” he cuts you off. “You pull it off better than I ever have.”
“I beg to differ.” You’re hoping he can take a hint. “But I guess once I wear another clothing item of yours we can see who pulls off your clothes better.”
“Feel free to invite yourself over anytime for access to my wardrobe.”
“Or I can pull this one off you now?” You joke, pulling him closer by his shirt. You’re unsure where your sudden boldness is coming from, perhaps you weren’t completely sober after all.
He leans in closer, staring into your eyes and shifting his gaze to your lips. He was definitely not as dense as you thought. You lean in closer, his fingers grazing your lips.
A sudden noise pulls you guys apart from each other. You look to the ground, embarrassed by how brazen you came off. He reaches into his pocket, grabbing his pager and reading off a message.
“Do you need to go already?”
He lets out heavy sigh as if he was disappointed in the distraction, “Yeah, that was Yuta he wants for me to stay over the night.”
You’re shocked, always having assumed he had stayed with the rest of the frat members. “Oh, I thought you lived there?”
“No, My parents actually got me a place here for my studies so it’s just me.”
“I see, it’s the same for me.” You point again at your home. “Thank you for walking me, please make sure you get back safely.”
“My pleasure, have a nice night Y/N.” He waves his hand as you begin walking towards your home.
“Ditto.” You shout out loud enough for him to hear you as you walk up to your home pulling your key out.
“What did you do!” You let out a gut wrenching scream. The entire floor was painted red, you look down and notice your hands full of blood.
You jump out of your nightmare, sweat lining your body. The house is silent, your alarm clock emitting a red gleam. It reads 4:26am.
You sit in bed rubbing the last of the tiredness in your eyes deciding it’d better to keep yourself awake for a while longer. You get up heading towards your kitchen to grab a glass of water.
As you reach the kitchen you decide to turn the TV on to calm your nerves for the time being. The news is on again. You take a sip out of your water paying half a mind to what is being reported.
“It’s been 48 hours since the disappearance of Jung Sungchan, his parents report he was last seen on October 17.”
Sungchan? He had said he would go to the party when you last saw him just a few days ago. You think back realizing you hadn’t seen him at all tonight. You feel your heart sink, placing your glass down and running to your house phone.
“Hello?” Minnie’s voice comes out hoarse. You can tell you’d just woken her from her sleep but you’re too startled to apologize.
“Sungchan is missing.”
“Huh?”
“He’s gone I just saw on the news they said it’s been days. I’m freaking out I just talked to him on Monday this has to be a joke right?”
“Y/N–“ You can barely hear her over your panicked thoughts.
“This is happening all over again, they’re saying it’s him again.”
You feel your eyes begin to water, “There’s been weird things happening, I hear knocks and my TV turns on all the time for no reason.” “Y/N.”
“Minnie, He was so close before,” You take a breath, “What if I’m next?”
“Y/N!” She yells out causing you to jump. “Relax, you’re okay. Nothing is going to happen.”
You don’t say anything so she continues, “I’m pretty sure I saw Sungchan after you left with Mark okay? Also, those knocks are probably just neighborhood kids. Remember when you said they’d always egg your neighbors around halloween?”
You let out a breath, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“See so there’s nothing to worry about, it’s all in your head cause Yuta kept saying shit. You’re okay and nothing going to happen.”
You realize how stupid you might’ve sounded now. Minnie was right, nothing was wrong until Yuta put all of that into your head. You’re just overthinking it.
“Thank you.” You let out softly.
She gives a sound of acknowledgment, “You know if you ever feel scared, my house is always open to you.”
“It’s fine I think I was just paranoid but i’m okay now.”
“Well just letting you know. Do you want to stay on the phone?”
“No it’s okay, i’ll let you get back to sleep.”
“Make sure you’re getting some sleep too alright?” She yawns. “God knows we need it for tomorrow.”
“Oh crap.” You had forgotten about the annual fundraiser held at the frat house. It was meant to raise money for the victims families of the Vestal Murders. You and your friends had promised to be there. “It totally slipped my mind.”
“If you can’t go don’t sweat it, you have a lot on your plate anyway.”
“No, i’ll be there.”
“Okay well I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.”
“Night.”
October 20th
After a day of setting up different games for the fundraiser you were able to sit and relax. Yuqi, who’s sitting beside you passes a bottle of coke to you.
“Thanks.” You reply, taking a sip of the drink and setting it down.
“Can’t believe we had to help set up, i just want to go home.”
You give a wry smile, “Yeah i’m pretty exhausted, had a tough time sleeping.” She’s about to respond when someone calls her from the distance. “I’m going!” She turns to face you, “Go, we’re done here anyway.”
She walks away meeting with YangYang at the steps of the house. You close your eyes lying back against the couch you’re on. You can hear voices around you but don’t try enough to make out what they’re all talking about. Footsteps approach you, you open your eyes to see who it is.
“The games haven’t even began and you’re tired already?”
Mark is standing above you, you take in the fitted black shirt he has on. You admire the turtleneck he has on, it really fits him even though it covered his neck moles you loved to stare at.
“I’m only resting, it’s been a long day.”
He hums, taking a seat beside you. “Then i’ll join you, you can use me as a pillow if you’d like.”
You take his offer, lying your head on his shoulder which is much more comfortable than the couch if you were being honest. You close your eyes and feel his hand start to play with your hair, purring at the feeling.
“Yo, you guys gonna just sit there or you wanna join?” Johnny shouts to you and Mark.
You look up at him, still resting your head on him. His face is so close you pull away and get up. “We’re going.” He follows behind you.
You can see a few of your friends lined up to play apple bobbing. You remember how you played once when you were younger, you freaked out and inhaled the water. Inhyuk had to pull you out to stop you from choking.
“You wanna play?” Yuta says, smirking at the two of you.
“Uh I’m good.” You say, looking up at Mark.
“Come on, show them how you use that mouth of yours.” Minnie winks at you from in line.
You shove into her with your forearm, she laughs it off. “Really I’m okay, Mark?”
“Actually mind if I show you something instead?”
“Ohhh, he’s going to show you what his mouth can do.” Yuta mocks, this time he earns a shove from Mark.
You give her a scornful look, “Sure let’s go.”
He holds your hand pulling you from behind him, leading the way. You guys walk past the crowds of people, making your way through the house. You realize he’s taking you to the basement so you speak up.
“Didn’t know you were a smoker, Lee.”
He chuckles, “Not quite.” You both are still hand in hand when he takes you to a corner room in the basement that you hadn’t noticed before.
“What’s this?”
“You’ll see,” He opens the door revealing a room filled with Halloween candy and a blanket on the floor. You look around noticing the TV in the room with VHS tapes of different movies laid out on the floor. “Do you like it?”
You look up at Mark seeing how he’s awaiting your answer. You pull him in for a hug, squealing in delight.
“This is so sweet.”
“Minnie told me you had been having a rough time, thought this might cheer you up.” He smiles, “Did it work?”
“It did more than work. Mark, thank you.” You look up at him, holding his gaze for a moment. You’re both only an inch from each other, you look at his lips wondering how soft they’d feel on yours.
His voice comes out rough, “We should watch a movie, yeah?” though he makes no effort to step away from you.
You take a look at him, his eyes won’t leave your mouth so you move in closer. “We can always watch later.”
He lets out a chuckle before pulling you in for a kiss. His lips feel so soft on yours, it’s everything and more than you had imagined. It’s rough and possessive, stealing your breath right from your mouth.
He bites onto your lip earning a moan from your lips, you pull away embarrassed by the noise you’d let out. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I did that.”
He lets out a breathless laugh, “Don’t apologize, I love those sounds from you.” He pulls you in again, the kiss becoming even heavier than before.
You can feel his tongue trace the bottom of your lips asking permission to deepen the kiss. You accept, beginning to explore his own mouth. You bite his lip, earning a groan from him, you thought that might be the sexiest noise you’d ever heard before.
He grabs onto your cheek with one hand and your waist with the other. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so perfect you know that?” You can barely respond before he begins to pull you in once more.
“Mark,” You plead breathlessly, pulling away from him. “I need to tell you something.”
He hums, beginning to kiss down your neck. You squirm at the feeling. “I haven’t– Fuck. I’ve never done this before.”
He slowly pulls away from you, confusion evident on his face. “Oh.” He can tell how embarrassed you feel admitting it so he adds promptly. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m not going to force you to do anything I just thought a movie would be nice.”
You find his distressed state amusing, “I– yeah that’s fine.”
He smiles, about to put a movie in when you hear a knock from the door.
“Y/N, we gotta go. Yuqi’s parents want her home already.” Minnie appears at the door.
You nod remembering the plans you guys had made to hang out after the fundraiser. Fuck, you wished you could stay with Mark for longer, especially considering how much effort he’d put into spending time with you.
“Yeah, okay i’ll be right there.” You say a little breathlessly, hoping she doesn’t notice it. She gives you an all knowing smile as she closes the door, “Be quick.”
You frown at the fact that you have to leave early, Mark quickly comes to your defense. “Hey it’s okay, we can save it for next time.” He puts his hands on your shoulder pulling you for a hug.
“I wish I didn’t have to leave.” You pout.
He laughs, finding you adorable. “I wish you didn’t have to go either, but we have plenty of time together, right?”
You nod, “Right. I’ll see you next time okay?”
“Get home safely y/n.” You head for the door before stopping in your tracks and turning around. Mark looks confused until you pull him in once more for a short and sweet kiss.
“Goodbye Mark.” You say pulling away and leaving out the door.
“Naughty naughty girl, y/n.” Minnie tsks, tapping her finger over your head.
You push her hand away. “Shut up, let’s go.”
She laughs following you close behind.
“I still don’t know why my parents felt the need to be party poopers, they could’ve asked the neighbor to feed that damn dog.” Yuqi complains.
Minnie gasps, “I love Haku!”
“Whatever, Oh there it is!” Yuqi, says pointing down at Phantom Halloween Store.
Your friends race down to get there first, you choose to continue walking instead. There’s a TV store to the right showing a news report.
“There’s been yet another disappearance reported since a body was discovered earlier today. Police have not made a comment on the identity of the individual or what another disappearance could mean for the town of Lucville. The public demands answers. Could it be possible that the Vestal Murderer is back for another halloween or a copy cat killer has taken his place?”
“Y/N!” Yuqi’s voice calls after you from ahead. “You coming?”
You choose to ignore the rest of the report, “Im going!”
“I think this would look great on you.”
“Cat Woman?” Minnie raises her eyebrow.
“You’d look really sexy, that’s what halloweens all about, right y/n!”
“Exactly, come on Minnie, you gonna finally try and get the attention of Yuta?”
She scowls at the both of you, snatching the suit out of Yuqi’s hands. “I’m trying it on, that’s all. No promises.”
“Yesh right, you’ll rock it anyway.” You both tease her as she steps into the dressing room.
“So y/n, what are you dressing as?” Yuqi asks.
“I don’t know i’ll probably just dress as is.”
She looks as if you ate her dog, “It’s halloween. A costume is a must. No ifs or buts!”
“You think rhyming is going to help me change my mind?” You raise an eyebrow at her, minding your business looking through the masks.
“What about Mark,” You stop in your tracks, feigning a cough. “What about him?”
“Don’t you wanna do more than just make out in the basement of a frat house?”
You roll your eyes, “Minnie told you.”
“Yeah well i’m offended you didn’t!” She retorts. “If you want to impress him then you have got to dress up.”
You sigh, halloween costumes weren’t really your thing, but you didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb being the only one not dressed up.
Yuqi smirks knowing she’s got to you. “Who knows,” she shrugs, “Maybe he will end up killing your virginity.”
Your ears go red, “Yuqi!” Her eyes go wide, stepping away from you. “Why are you so loud! Do you know how embarrassing you are?”
“Please spare me okay!” She yelps as you grab onto her shirt.
“Wow y/n I didn’t take you for a bully.” Johnny’s deep voice sounds from behind you both. You let go of Yuqi, allowing for her to fix her shirt.
“You make it a habit of stalking us?”
“Ah yes, cause we came here purely to track your group of friends down.” Yuta remarks sarcastically, “A halloween store, when it’s is less than a week away.”
“We came here to look for some last minute decorations.” Mark comments before you and Yuta can begin your bickering.
“We’re here for costumes, Y/N here has got the perfect one planned.” Yuqi states, her arm sneaking around your shoulder.
“Really? What is it?” Mark looks to you.
“It’s a surprise!” Yuqi squeaks out. You’re thankful for it because you wouldn’t have known what to say at all.
“Good, you should show us at the Halloween party we’re throwing this weekend.” Johnny utters, reaching into his pocket. He pulls an invitation flier to the party, passing it to you. “It’s a costume party so make sure you’re all there.”
“All of you.” Yuta adds, “Speaking of, where’s your third?”
At that moment Minnie walks out of the dressing room. The latex suit wraps around her body hugging her figure, the mask is on too bringing out her natural cat eyes, and in her hand she grips a whip as a signature weapon.
“So do you guys think–“ the words die on her tongue. She freezes looking at the group in front of her, one of them being Yuta.
“You wanna be my dominatrix Minnie?” Yuta jests.
She turns red at his comment and closes the dressing room door, hiding behind it.
“We’ll be there.” You say.
October 30th
It felt like Halloween had came early, there were piles of candies and treats left all over the kitchen counter as well as a punch bowl you were eighty percent sure was spiked. The blood moon stood bright in the night and true its name, painting the dark sky red.
You had just arrived no longer than ten minutes ago and your friends had already happened to disappear out of sight. You made your way to the counter grabbing a red solo cup to serve yourself the blood colored punch.
“You actually want to drink that?” Mark’s voice startles you, causing you to drop the ladle back into the punch.
“Well I guess not.”
“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d get scared.” He says, his hands going up in defense.
“It’s fine, i’ll just take a beer.” You reach for the refrigerator.
“You look beautiful,” He states, “Carrie right?”
You look down at the silk champagne colored dress you have on. “Yeah, did the crown give it away?”
“More so the blood on the costume but the crown too.”
You let out a giggle, “And you, Michael Myers?” You say almost as a question.
“Ding Ding Ding! I had my mask earlier but Yuta insisted on letting him borrow it for the time being, something about prancing the neighborhood kids?”
“Wow, he really is a menace. Is it bad i’m glad i’m not the target of his pranks though?”
He laughs, “I mean it is trick or treat right? The kids shouldn’t be that mad.”
You smile at him, he was always so playful with his words. You felt as if he understood you in ways not any other person could. You couldn’t stop your mind from remembering the kiss you both shared not too long ago.
He opened his mouth but no words came out. You felt a surge of boldness in the moment so you decided to speak for him.
“So Mark Myers, you wanna head back to the basement and finish what we started?”
You never could get used to the way he kissed you. He was always so quiet it was shocking to see this side of him. The one that was almost starving for your lips.
You sat on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, his hands gripping your hips on him. You pulled away to take a breath, his lips attaching themselves to your throat.
“Fuck– Mark.” You groan, his mouth beginning to sprinkle bruises all over your neck. He kisses behind your ear, causing you to involuntarily grind your hips down.
He gasps at the sudden contact, “You’re driving me crazy.”
You let out a moan, continuing to grind your hips down.
You whine, the fabric in between you both making it hard for you to feel relief.
“Y/N baby,” He stops your movements with his hands on your hips. “ I don’t want to push you to do anything but you’re really making it hard.”
“You’re not pushing anything. I want this, I want you.”
“Fuck– I can’t hold you back.”
“Then don’t.” You say, pulling him in for another deep kiss. He kisses into your mouth, his tongue exploring you. You moan into the kiss beginning to build up the pace of your hips, his bulge growing as you continue to work yourself onto him.
“I feel so close.” You let out eagerly.
“Come on baby, come for me.” He begins to force your hips down, building more friction to your heat.
You can feel your high approaching rapidly, gripping onto his shoulders tight, your nails digging into his skin. He hisses at the feeling, you let out a weak apology.
“It’s okay, just be a good girl and finish, yeah?”
His words are enough to bring you to the edge. You feel your legs shake as your orgasm takes over your entire body. You bite down on his shoulder, trying to keep from screaming at the euphoric sensation.
He helps you ride out your orgasm until your body begins shaking with aftershocks. He lifts your face to look at him, his features soft. “How are you feeling?”
You can’t help but pull him in for another kiss, he’s shocked but returns it. You pull away looking up at him, pupils dilated and your voice coming out shy, “I want more.”
“Are you sure?” He asks slowly.
You nod your head, “Please.”
He hums, lifting you off of him so he can get up to check his counter for protection. You sit on the mattress waiting for him to find it, growing shyer as the seconds pass.
“I’ll go check upstairs for one, I’m sure Yuta’s got some lying around.” He states, “I’ll be back quickly okay?”
You nod your head, he steps out of the room to go look. You lift the blanket to cover your face, realization of the events hitting you. You were glad nobody was in the room so you could have time to blush over how good you felt.
You heard foot steps approach the door, assuming Mark had found Yuta’s pack of condoms. “Come in!”
Mark opens the door, looking tense. “We gotta go, police showed up crashing the party. Everyone has to leave.”
You both make it to your front door, out of breath for semi running the entire trip home. His hand never left yours throughout the trip and it doesn’t leave yours now. You can’t help but fidget with his fingers that you’ve only now noticed are so much bigger than yours.
“I wonder what tipped them off.” You say referring to the way the police had shut down the party.
“Something about a curfew, no parties for the time being.” He shrugs. “Listen y/n.”
Your fingers don’t stop tracing his palm as you await his sentence. “How about we hang out soon like a date?”
“Oh!” Your hands stop, taken aback by his unabashed state.
He continues, linking his hand into your own. “I’m more than just interested in you, and i’d like to show you that.”
You offer a measly smile. “I’d really like that.”
His answer’s coy. “Great, I’ll see you next time then yeah?”
You nod, he releases your hand beginning to walk away. “Bye Mark.”
“Goodnight Y/N.”
You ran into your home closing the door behind you hoping he didn’t notice your bashfulness as you bid him farewell. You bite your lip to calm yourself down, letting out a squeal of excitement.
A ring coming from the kitchen pulls you out of your cheerful state. You head towards the phone picking it up as it’s on the last ring.
“Yuqi? Minnie? DId you guys get home safe?”
The line is silent until you make out a strangled scream through the phone. You instantly drop it, beginning to panic. You hear muffled wheezing through the phone, choosing to pick it up again.
“Who the fuck is this? Is this the same number as before?” Your voice comes out horror-struck. “What the fuck do you want.”
The voice comes out restrained, “You.”
The line goes dead. You hear a knock on the door, grabbing a knife from the counter top and hugging it to your chest. The knocking gets louder, the doorknob twisting.
“Please just leave me alone!” You cry out.
“Y/N, it’s me. Please just open the door.” Marks voice rings out.
You run towards the door unlocking it and letting him in. He picks the knife out of your hands tossing it to the side and pulling you into his arms. You aren’t sure when you began hysterically crying but his embrace helped soothe you.
“What happened baby, talk to me.” You take in a breath, looking over to the phone.
“They won’t stop calling. I don’t know who it is or what they want from me.” You struggle to speak.
“Hey hey it’s okay.” He holds onto you tighter, “I’m here okay?”
Your sobs dwindle, your breathing becoming more steady.
“Do you want me to stay?” He asks.
You shake your head, “I don’t want to be here, not right now.”
He contemplates for a moment, “Would you want to stay at my place for tonight then?”
You nod your head, wiping your tears from your face.
“Please.”
You take in the place, it’s empty besides the couch and TV in the living room and a few plants scattered around. The house smells oddly clean, which wasn’t something you expected from a college man but you weren’t going to complain.
“You can take a seat i’ll get you a water.” He says pointing at the velvet couch in the corner of the living room.
“Thank you.” You smile, taking a seat. It’s pretty comfortable for being a living room couch, you decide you can stick to sleeping there tonight. Leaving early tomorrow so you won’t cause any disturbance.
You look to the wall, a clock hangs on it reading 2:30am. You wonder if Yuqi or Minnie made it home earlier, hoping that none of them ended up in a jail cell tonight.
Mark appears in front of you, a glass of water in his hand. “Here you go,” He offers. You accept the glass taking it out of his hands.
He takes a seat next to you, offering some distance so you can sit comfortably. You chug down half of the water, setting it down beside you onto the floor.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asks with a soft tone as if to not scare you.
“It’s everything I said before, I just feel very paranoid these days.” You shake your head, “I keep getting this weird feeling, I feel like someone’s been stalking me.”
His eyes go wide, “Do you know who?”
You let out a sigh, “I haven’t seen anyone, I just feel in my gut like something bad is going to happen if it hasn’t already.” He remains silent allowing you space to explain.
“I never told anyone this, but I keep having like a weird sense of deja vu. I remember so clearly that around this time five years back there was always this same feeling, like I was being followed or watched in every corner.”
You release a shaky breath, “I don’t know why but I think this person whoever he is. I feel like he wants me next.”
Mark breaks his silence, “The Vestal killer?”
“I think so.”
“That can’t be the case right? The police said he must’ve disappeared when he could after the murders right?”
You shrug, “I don’t know if that’s true. All I know is someone has been using me as a pawn in their game for the past weeks.”
“You’re right,” He responds. “Do you want to talk to Yuqi or Minnie maybe? Maybe they might have had the same feeling?”
You nod in agreement, “Yeah okay, can I borrow your phone please?”
“Of course, it’s in my room first door to your left.” You thank him before heading through the hallway into his room.
You pick up the phone beginning to dial in Yuqi’s number, there’s no answer. You try giving another attempt this time to Minnie’s number, she doesn’t pick up. You opt for sending a message to Minnie’s pager, glad you happened to remember to carry yours with you tonight.
911.
You hear Mark’s footsteps approaching, opening the door to check on you.
“None of them picked up, i’m hoping they’re not in jail or something.”
Mark chuckles, “I doubt it, I got a call from Yuta. He ran out with Minnie before the cops showed up.”
“Wow, glad to know they were having fun while shit hit the fan.” You reply sarcastically.
“They wouldn’t be the only ones.” Mark teases, referring to the events that took place between the two of you moments before the party was crashed.
You blush at the memory. “I don’t believe I recall, mind reminding me?”
He offers a coy smile, approaching you slowly. “You sure you don’t remember?” He closes the distance between you two, his arms locking you in between him and the counter.
Like muscle memory, you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. “Not at all, You going to try and jog my memory?”
He contemplates for a moment, “I’ll make sure you don’t forget again.” He says before leaning in for a brutal kiss.
His mouth tastes sweet, youd guess it’s from the halloween candy you noticed on his counter earlier. You grip his arms pulling him closer to lick and taste all over his mouth.
His arms find their way around your waist pulling you even closer to him if that’s possible. You begin to feel the growing bulge against you, disconnecting yourself from the kiss to suck on his neck instead.
He lets out a gasp, feeling your hands find their way down to his bulge and palming it through his pants.
“Fuck– I thought you said you’d never done this before.”
“I haven’t.”
He pulls in closer to your neck, whispering directly into your ear. “Then how is it that you’re already so perfect for me.”
You suck in a breath, your neck sensitive to his touch. He takes advantage of your position, biting down into your neck. It’s not enough to draw blood but enough to get you to release a moan.
He pulls your dress from off of you, your body shivering from the exposed air. “You’re beautiful.” He says, pulling you in for another kiss.
Your body feels on fire, the pleasure is only building up making you want more. You undo his belt, your hand pushing into his pants to grab onto his dick.
He lets out a groan, pulling you up from the counter and onto his bed instead. He pulls away, lying you down on the flat surface. “Tell me now if you don’t want to go any further.”
There’s no way in hell you were going to stop anytime soon. “Let’s finish what we started.”
He took his shirt off, and you took in a breath. His body was toned, his chest and collarbones looked perfect to leave bruises and bites all over.
“Take them off.” He growled. You began to unclasp your bra, your chest falling free. He falls to his knees, tugging your legs closer to him. His head in between your thighs.
You can feel his breath on your cunt, “Fuck baby your pussy is soaking already.”
You gasp, feeling his knuckle begin to trace your slit. “Markie please.” You plead for him to touch.
“Please what baby? Use your words.”
“Please touch me.”
The second the words leave your lips, you feel his mouth on you. You yelp, his mouth connecting straight to your clit, sucking onto it roughly. He eats you out with the same harshness he kisses you with. You can’t complain though, not when his mouth makes you feel like you’ve reached the gates of heaven.
The wet sound of him eating you out only adds to your arousal. You can’t help but squirm, his arms keep you from moving too much though. “Careful baby, i’m trying to feed here.”
His tongue begins fuck into your pussy, pulling a loud moan from you. You cover your mouth to muffle the sounds as much as possible. He pulls away, you whine at the loss of contact.
“Don’t hide your noises, I want to hear how loud you get when I make you cum.” You uncover your mouth as he gets back to work, this time focusing on sucking your clit. Your hips roll feeling your orgasm fast approaching.
“Markie please don’t stop” You beg.
You feel two fingers slide into your pussy, the stretch feels so good. You roll your hips chasing your climax. The stimulation from his fingers penetrating you leave you breathless. You repeat his name over and over like a mantra.
“Markie please I want to cum. Please let me cum.”
With one last thrust of his fingers and a suck on your clit you reach your high, your eyes seeing white. He draws out your orgasm, stopping only when you hiss at the overstimulation.
You let out a breath, looking him in his eyes as he begins to undresses himself. He grabs the condom from the drawer and pulls his cock out of his boxers.
You can’t help but stare right at him, your mouth watering at the sight of his long and thick cock. There was a large vein that ran through it, his tip glowing red. You weren’t experienced but you’d seen films before, and his looked like one straight out of a porno.
He gives it a few pumps before tearing open the packaging and wrapping it around his shaft. “We’re not done yet.”
You feel him lay over you, lining his cock with your entrance. He looks to you before pushing inside, “Are you ready?” You nod. “Yes.”
He pushes himself into you, taking breaks in between to help you catch your breath. “Relax baby, god you’re so fucking tight.”
His dick looked big, but it felt even larger. You felt a slight pain as he slowly pushed himself fully in. “Fuck– Mark you’re so big.”
“It’s okay baby, it’s almost fully inside.” You nod your head, your eyes closing wishing for him to just get on with it.
His dick pushes inside you once again pulling a gasp from you. You swear you can feel it in your stomach.
“That’s it baby.” You open your eye to look down and see his hips connecting to yours, he’s bottomed out. He tests a small thrust and you let out a moan.
“Markie, you can fuck me already.” Your words are enough to snap him back into his lustful self. He starts a slow and steady pace, thrusting into you.
You let out a few noises, tears beginning to line your eyes. He notices, wiping your face with his hand. “Please kiss me.” He leans into you, kissing you gently.
You close your eyes into the kiss, feeling his lips suck your own. You pull away, a moan escaping your lips once he hits your sweet spot. “There– right there.”
He quickens his pace, pistoling his cock attacking your g-spot. Your legs wrapping around his waist, to keep him from pulling any further away from you.
“I’m close–“ You let out, his thrusts getting quicker and stronger.
“Me too.” He groans. His fingers slipping to your sensitive bud, rubbing circles making you scream in pleasure. With the next few thrusts you feel your body convulse, clenching down on him. Your nails scratch down his arms, he hisses at the sting. You reach your second climax of the night, your legs shaking from the aftershocks.
He lets out growl, the feeling of your climax triggering his own. With one last thrust, he’s finishing into the condom. He pulls out of you, you let out a whine at the feeling.
He disposes of the condom, pulling a blanket over the both of you and wrapping his arms around your body.
“I don’t think I can work my legs anymore.” You joke, closing your eyes and catching your breath.
He laughs and pulls you in closer, “That’s okay, you’re all mine now so you have no use for them anyway.”
You let out an awkward laugh. His joke coming out a bit empty. You have no time to comment on it before you feel your eyes begin to shut on their own.
You wake up the next morning bed empty. You remember the events of last night, pulling the covers over your head to hide your embarrassment. The shower is running from what sounds like the room over.
Mark is showering, I should probably go join him.
You smile to yourself and try getting up from the bed, your legs wobbly.
Oh fuck.
You slowly and carefully try walking out of the room, finding the TV on from the living room.
“After days of searching, two bodies have been found early this morning by Velvet lake. No suspects have been identified as of now, though police have said a mask was found at the crime scene.” You inhale sharply at the mask on the TV.
No, it can’t be.
“Halloween festivities have began despite police efforts to ensure proper curfew. The mask found, one of Michael Myers, will be hard to trace back, as the costume happens to be a popular one.”
You stand frozen, hearing the words repeat in your head.
There’s no way it was Mark, he was here the whole time last night.
“This just in, the bodies are presumed to be missing persons Jung Sungchan and Choi Minjae. They were discovered only an hour ago, police reporting it’s possible they could’ve just missed the killer.”
Your breath catches in your throat. Mark woke earlier than you, is it possible he’s showering now to get rid of the evidence. You begin to slowly make your way towards the bedroom to make a phone call.
You dial Minnie, praying to any god that she picks up. There’s no answer. You let out a frustrated sigh, redialing to try and see if it’ll work this time.
Come on Minnie, pick up.
The shower stops. You panic, leaving the phone on the counter and slowly stepping out of the room to leave the house. It’s as you turn the corner that you hear a click from another room.
You turn to the room on the right, finding the door slightly ajar and squeezing through it. You hear another sound of clicking coming from below the steps.
You tiptoe down the steps, finding the room filled with field tools and rope scattered everywhere. It isn’t until you turn the corner that your eyes are filled with horror.
You spot a familiar figure tied to a chair, repeatedly hitting his watch against the seat making a clicking noise. You let out a gasp, his eyes finding your own in pure terror.
Hyungseo? What the fuck was he doing here tied up.
You head over to him pulling the rope from his mouth. “Y/N you have to leave now.”
“What are you talking about.” You whisper, beginning to untie his hands.
“He is insane. You have to leave now it’s not safe.”
“I’m not going to leave you here for yourself.” You dismiss his words. “Come on we’re going.”
His hands are tied with a rope, you lean down to try and undo the knot, not finding success in tugging. “Y/N?” You hear from upstairs. Your eyes go wide at his voice calling you.
You stand, putting a finger over your mouth gesturing for Hyungseo to keep silent. In the corner of your eye you notice the wall of tools again, grabbing a sickle from off of it.
You can hear Mark’s footsteps closely approaching. You cover your mouth and hold in your breath hoping he doesn’t notice you. The door closes from up the stairs. You take in a breath before standing from your hiding place.
“There you are.” His voice comes out from behind you. You jump walking backwards as he steps forward. “Was looking all over for you little fox.”
You can barely let out any words, “What the fuck is this. Why is Hyungseo here.”
He looks genuinely appalled at your question, “What do you mean what is this? It’s all for you.”
“What?” You speak in a whisper.
“I did this for you.” He says stepping closer. “These guys are nothing compared to you, their perverted minds thinking they could ever please you the way you need.”
You hit the wall, sucking in a breath as his hand cups your face. “You’re so pure y/n I had to make sure they wouldn’t get in the way of that.”
His thumb traces your lips, you turn your face away. “That’s not what I want. You’re hurting innocent people.”
“It’s what you need y/n. It’s a shame you can’t see that.”
He pulls away, grabbing onto your wrist that’s holding the sickle. He takes it from your grip throwing it off to the side. “Was that for me? You think i’d let that happen?”
“Leave me alone,” You feel a tear roll down your cheek. “Please.”
“Hey,” He wipes your face. “I’m not going to hurt you baby. I’m protecting you.”
He walks over to where Hyungseo sits, “From him.” He pulls a knife from his pocket, “These fuckers.”
“Don’t hurt him please. Come on let’s talk about this.” You step to the side, closer to the tools on the wall.
“There’s nothing to talk about y/n. He doesn’t deserve to even breathe your air.” He drags the knife against Hyungseo’s throat. You hear the man cry out from fear.
“These men surround themselves around you hoping for a chance to take you for themselves.” He punctures his arm, Hyungseo screaming from the injury.
“Mark stop.” You grab a screwdriver from the wall, hiding it behind your back. “Please just let him go, I’ll stay with you just don’t hurt anyone else.”
He stops, looking into your eye. “I’m not asking for you to stay with me forever, that’d be unfair to you.” He frowns stepping closer to you, “I love you y/n. I’m doing this for your own good.”
You shake your head, “You’re doing this because you’re fucking insane.” He lets out a cold laugh, “If that’s what you think so be it, but I know what you need.”
“You don’t know shit.” You say, grabbing the screwdriver from your pocket and shoving it through his abdomen.
“Fuck–“ He grips his side, you push him away running to where Hyungseo sits, cutting him free from the rope. “You want to play it like this? Really babe.”
“Fuck you, i’m not your babe.” He grabs onto your hair pulling you closer to him with one hand. “I already did.”
You knock your elbow into his wound, escaping from his hold as soon as his hand lets you go. “Hurry.” Hyungseo says from up the stairs, grabbing onto your hand and helping you run up further.
You both run through the hallway, Mark close behind. “You have to go. I’ll call for help.”
“I’m not going to leave you here.”
“Go,” You warn him sternly, “I’ll hold him back.”
“I’ll look for help.” He says before running out of the door. You pick up the phone from his room dialing 911. The phone line is dead.
“You really think i’m that stupid to leave the phone connected?” You jolt from his sudden appearance. “Just leave it alone y/n if we leave now we will catch him in time. His leg is pretty bruised he won’t be able to make it so far.”
“Don’t do this please.”
“I think i’ve told you already, I’m doing this for your own good.”
His hands smoother your face, the blood left on them transferring to your face. “That’s exactly why I got rid of Sungchan, he strayed too close. He knew you were mine and yet he couldn’t hold himself back so I had to take him out.”
“No.” You cry.
“And Jihoon, he was all you ever looked at. You were falling right into his trap, into his temptations.”
“Then what about Minjae, huh?” You yell out, “He never wanted me he wanted Yuqi.”
His smile was deranged, “Honestly he was just fucking annoying.”
You shake your head, tears streaming down your face. Your body shaking in fear. “You’re evil.”
“I’m your executioner.” He looks into your eyes. There’s no more of that sweet Mark you knew before. His entire being is unhinged. He hears a sound coming from the front door, becoming distracted for a second.
You take that moment to reach for the lamp on the desk and breaking it on his head, setting yourself free from his hold. He’s stunned for a moment as you run towards the kitchen grabbing a knife from the counter.
“Get away from me!” You scream out, he stands in front of you, his head bleeding from the hit he took. “Put the knife down.”
You shake your head, “I said get away!” He puts his hands up. “Y/n you’re acting crazy, put the knife down.”
“I’m crazy?” You scream, “You’ve killed people.”
He ignores you, stepping closer. “Which is exactly why I know, you don’t have it in you. So just drop the knife.”
You pause for a moment, frozen in fear. He takes that chance to reach for your hand and grab the knife out of it. What he doesn’t realize is that you are quicker than you seem, you dodge his movement stabbing the knife through his back.
He turns slowly, blood dripping from his mouth. “Fuck, you always were smarter than anyone ever took you for.” He drops to the floor, unconscious giving you the time to run out of the house.
You’re running with blood all over your clothes. The knife is still in your hand, piercing through your palms but even the sting isn’t enough to shake off the adrenaline in your body. You can hear voices calling out to you but you can’t stop running.
It isn’t til you feel a pair of hands grabbing onto you that you stop running. “Y/N.” You break out of your thoughts, your brother’s voice stopping you in your tracks.
“Inhyuk,” You let out a shaky breath. “What are you doing here.”
“I came here as soon as I heard, you need to calm down okay? We’re here to help you.”
You look around noticing the police and paramedics parked outside of the house. Some making their way towards you already. You look at your brother finally caving into his hold and sobbing into his shoulder.
“It’s okay, I’m here.”
“Did he mention any other victims?” You shake your head, the officer had been asking you questions for the past fifteen minutes but you could barely answer. You sat on the back of the ambulance, the paramedics checking you to make sure you had no major injuries.
Hyungseo was rushed to the hospital already, they said his injuries could be fatal if not treated quickly. You had a feeling he was going to be okay though.
There was no word on the state of Mark, and you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was hard enough to face the officer right now. “Can you give her a moment, she can always head to the station if she had any more details.” You hear your brother’s voice interject the officer.
“Oh yes, of course.” He steps away from the two of you walking over to where the sheriff stands. You were thankful for Inhyuk’s help, the last thing you needed was to be reminded of the amount of victims Mark had killed all for you.
“Mom just got here, i’m going to go talk to her okay?” You nod, “I’ll be right back.” He says, still very worried about your condition.
“You’re okay. You might experience some soreness and pain but your blood pressure is fine.” The paramedic says while removing the cuff around your arm. “I’ll give you a moment to yourself.”
He walks always leaving you alone. Your breaths become less frantic, you look up from your hands and into the house in front of you. You remember the way you’d fought Mark off, the police wondering how it was that you’d been able to escape with little to no injuries.
You didn’t have it in you to explain everything. Not the way he had told you that you were his motive for killing, or the way you’d had to stab him multiple times before running out successfully.
There’d be a time for when you’d come clean about everything, and you were fine with that. Except for one.
You had felt a rush the moment you stabbed him with the screwdriver. It was different from any adrenaline rush, no this was a rush of excitement. Then the second time, when you saw him drop to the floor, his eyes rolling into his head unconscious, you’d felt it again.
You enjoyed the way his warm blood dripped down your hands, the way he let in a sharp inhale the second you punctured his back. You loved the way it felt to see him half dead on the ground, and that was something you’d be taking to the grave.
#nct dream imagines#nct dream scenarios#nct imagines#nct scenarios#mark x y/n#mark x you#mark x reader#mark lee#mark lee x reader#mark lee x you#mark smut#nct x reader#nct#nct 127 x reader#johnny x reader#yuta x reader#kinktober#nct 127#nct x you#nct x y/n#aggnm#nct smut
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ꨄ︎『Cookin in the kitchen like a pot roast』ꨄ︎
☞ ꨄ︎『Masterlist』ꨄ
(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Where my bad bitches? Fuck these niggas, give them trauma Coulda fixed his life but now that nigga need Iyanla
FYI write for a female identifying perspective with no racial descriptors so all can enjoy but a lot of my fics are inspired by hip hop lyrics or culture so very much black coded. If I decide to write black reader exclusively I will call it out in the summary/heading somewhere. My works are tagged: #♋︎kizzatcookedthat & #♋︎kizzatcooks Kinktober: # ☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳
CONTENT KEY ↴ fluff = ✿ | smut = ♡ | suggestive = ➹ | manga spoilers = ⌦ | AU = ☯︎ | canonverse = ∞ | drug/alcohol= ☻ | crack fic = ꩜ | black reader = 🐈⬛ | dark themes = ✟ STATUS KEY ↴ completed = ✔ | in-progress/continuation = ✎
ৎ੭ JJK MEN FAV ALT FUCK KINK - M.LIST - ♡∞ | ✎
ৎ੭ WE BE BURNIN': JJK 420 SERIES - M.LIST - ♡☯︎∞ ☻ ✿ | ✎
ৎ੭ NERD/VIRGIN SERIES - M.LIST COMING SOON
ৎ੭ OTAKU!GOJO: THE OTAKU IS MINE - M.LIST - ♡☯︎꩜| ✎
ৎ੭ THE NURSERY: YAKUZA!TOJI x MILF!READER - M.LIST - ♡☯︎∞ ☻ ✟ | ✎
ৎ੭ Daddy & Baby - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛You get the best of both worlds from a Choji [Choso x Toji x Reader] polyship❜
ৎ੭ FarmHand!Toji - ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛Farm life ain't so bad when you got a sexy ex-con to use as a distraction❜
ৎ੭ Sins of the Father - ♡☯︎✟ | ✔ ❛You really need to repent for tormenting Father Kento like this.❜
ৎ੭ Sneaky Link: 1 & 2 - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛When Yuji goes to sleep, Sukuna comes out to play.❜ ৎ੭ A Bumpy Ride - ♡☯︎꩜ | ✔ ❛A long miserable ride on vaycay? Why not cockwarm your bf Suguru?❜ ৎ੭ Lessons in Anatomy ✎ P1: Nerd!Geto - ♡☯︎☻꩜ | ✔ ❛Your nerdy bff Suguru teaches you how to study and squirt.❜
ৎ੭ Toji x TumblrSmutWriter!Reader - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Your new bf Toji finds out his cute n' innocent gf has a filthy imagination.❜ ৎ੭ Do You Eat Pussy? - ♡∞☻ | ✔ ❛Asking a sexy stranger a wild question gets you a wild answer. [Toji x Reader]❜
ৎ੭ WFH!Nanami - ✿ ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛You wont let your WFH husband miss his most important meeting of the day.❜
ৎ੭ YakuzaBoss!Toji - ♡☯︎☻🐈⬛| ✔ ❛Uh-oh! You're about to find out what happens when you ignore Yakuza!Boss Toji. ❜
For one/shots fics of WE BE BURNIN' see 'series' section above ꜛ Plug!Choso 3 Parts - ♡☻☯︎| ✔ 420 True Form Sukuna - ♡☻∞꩜| ✔
For one/shots fics of JJK Men Fav Alt Fuck Kink see 'series' section above ꜛ Nuru Massage ft Choso - ♡∞ | ✔ Foot Jobs ft Geto - ♡∞ | ✔ For one shots/fics apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below ꜜ Ghostface!Choso - ♡☯︎☻✟ | ✎ (complete but epilogue/P3 coming) Werewolf!Toji - ♡☯︎☻✟ | ✔ Tricks or Treats: JJK Halloween Fluff Anthology - ✿➹∞꩜ | ✔
< 1k words
ৎ੭ "HoneyDick"!Gojo - ∞➹꩜ ❛Satoru gonna learn to stop playin' with you today.❜
ৎ੭ Kissing True Form Sukuna - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛How you gonna make this man jealous of is own hand like that.❜
ৎ੭ Intern!Reader - ♡☯︎ | ✔ ❛Being a legal intern for Nanami and Higaruma is tough business.❜
ৎ੭ "Chef"!Toji - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Don't ask Toji to make you dinner unless you're ready to be his dinner.❜
ৎ੭ Ab Riding Sukuna - ♡∞ ⌦✟ | ✔ ❛Being the personal fuckdoll of a four-armed evil monster isn't so bad if it's for a good cause.❜
ৎ੭ Objectifying Sukuna - ➹∞꩜ | ✔ ❛Dayum, Daddy what them thighs do?❜
ৎ੭ Broke&Kinky!Toji - ♡∞ | ✎ ❛No money? No problem! Best 'O' of your life for under ¥500.❜
ৎ੭ Do My Dance - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛If you throw it back this good, Toji might even pay your rent.❜
ৎ੭ Smoking with Choso - ✿ ➹∞ | ✔ ❛Your sweet bf deserves all the cuddles and indica blunts.❜
ৎ੭ Oral Fixation w/ Toji - ♡∞ | ✔ ❛Gargling Toji's balls like listerine❜
ৎ੭ April Fools With Toji - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji can dish it but he can't take it.❜
ৎ੭ Toji is Ugly - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Girl okay? that's MY ugly ass man.❜
ৎ੭ Choso's Chinchin ♡∞ | ✔ ❛A guide to what it's like fucking Choso. ❜
ৎ੭ Why Toji Stays With You - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Toji has yet to figure out he can't play the player❜ ৎ੭ Pussy Talk - ∞➹꩜ | ✔ ❛Your kewchie is multilingual thanks to daddy Toji.❜ ৎ੭ JJK Men x Black!Reader Bonnet Headcanons - ✿☯︎➹🐈⬛ | ✔ ❛Daddies are showing us how much they love us and our bonnets.❜ ৎ੭ Cult Leader!Suguru - ∞➹🐈⬛ | ✔ ❛Suguru called the wrong b!tch a monkey, he finna learn today.❜
ৎ੭ Choso Coded - ➹∞ | ✔ ❛How down bad he is for you after a sip of kewchie.❜
ৎ੭ Toji Lies About Being Broke - ꩜∞| ✔ ❛Taking care of a grown ass man for so long pays off❜
ৎ੭ JJK Men Getting Through TSA ❛They should really just try to drive next time❜
For headcanons apart of Kinktober, see kizzatober m.list below Why you can't watch scary movies with JJK Men - ♡∞| ✔ Slutty JJK Men Halloween Costumes - ♡➹∞ | ✔
Kizzatober '23 presents ↴ ৎ੭ m.list: Thrilling Ghouls & Smooth Criminals #☾﹒✖☠𝘬𝘪𝘻𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳
ৎ੭ The Nursery - (Yakuza!Toji x Reader) ♡☯︎☻ | ✎ WIP ❛Toji on his Joe Goldberg bullshit. Lactation kinks too.❜
© ʙʟᴋᴋɪᴢᴢᴀᴛ 2023 & 2024. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ��. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ ꜰɪᴄꜱ, ᴅʀᴀʙʙʟᴇꜱ, & ɢʀᴀᴘʜɪᴄꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʙʏ ᴍᴇ ᴜɴʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴡɪꜱᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.
#masterlist#jjk writing#jjk fanfiction#jjk x reader#like this if you got that wet wet#minors dni#toji fushiguro x you#toji x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#nanami x reader#choso x reader#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jjk smut#toji smut#nanami smut#geto smut#gojo smut#choso smut
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balancing fame and secrecy | max verstappen x influencer! reader
summary; you and max have been secretly dating for a while and things have been going great... until fans started speculating about your love life.
genre; smau and written.
face claim; cindy kimberly.
note; english is not my first language.
in honor of my birthday boy, whom i love and admire very much.
masterlist!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆˚
y/n_updates
liked by judebfans, username and others
y/n_updates y/n via her stories.
she was at the real madrid game today and sources say she was seen leaving the stadium with star footballer jude bellingham.
lately there have been rumors circulating about a possible relationship between the two, what do you think?
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username i think they would be a powerful couple
judefan definitely no 💀
username wdym?
judefan he's so sweet and she seems so mean
username you don't even know her silly
judefan but still...
y/nfan go out and touch grass
bellingham.source who is she?
y/n_updates @y/n_l/n, she became known for her Instagram lives and her makeup and beauty tips videos.
username1 i just stalked her and she's so gorgeous
username2 idk, there's something about her that doesn't fit
username3 right??? it doesn't give me a good feeling
y/nfan2 why is everyone judging my girl for a photo? you guys don't even know her to say if she's mean or not and as far as I know, she's been single for a while.
username4 tx, say it louder
"why is everyone saying you're dating jude bellingham?" was the first thing i saw when i unlocked my phone. it was 10 pm in spain, but in singapore, where max was for this weekend's race, it would be around 4 am.
"you know how the internet is, mijn leeuw (my lion), don't pay attention to it," i replied. a few minutes passed, and there was no response. worry started to creep in. had i upset him too much?
just when i was about to overthink it, his video call lit up the screen. "are you coming to the race?" he asked, his tone flat. there was no trace of the smile i loved so much.
"are you mad at me?"
"no," he mumbled, more like a petulant child.
"baby, you know i can't control what people say online."
"i know. i just wish everyone knew you were mine."
"it was your idea to keep it a secret," i reminded him.
"well, i don't like that idea anymore."
i let out a nervous laugh, but his blue eyes, even through the screen, conveyed tiredness and something more. i was about to respond when jude appeared behind me. max's expression turned cold.
"are you ready?" jude asked me.
"ready for what?" max snapped, his voice filled with venom.
"we're going to celebrate real madrid's victory, is that okay?"
"whatever. i'll call you later," he said, and hung up before i could reply.
"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to cause any trouble," jude said, visibly uncomfortable.
"it's okay, don't worry about it. i'll see you downstairs, alright?"
i left max messages that he didn't answer, and now all my excitement for going out had vanished.
jude and i have been friends for a while now, it's funny how these rumors are popping up now. we've been trying to laugh it off, but now the situation is getting serious and i'm afraid it might affect my relationship with max.
y/n_l/n
liked by landonorris, judebellingham, footballwags and others
y/n_l/n girls just wanna have fun
username so beautiful girl
username is this the rumoured jude's girlfriend?
username supposedly
username why is no one talking about lando in the likes?
username because he is everywhere
username fr
username call me crazy but i think she's trying to tell us something
username why is everyone so delusional?
username as a f1 fan i could only pay attention to that can of red bull
username does the song have any meaning or...?
username she wasn't even that relevant before they started linking her to jude, she's just a gold digger
username fyi, her father has always had money so she doesn't need to hunt for anyone's gold
username she has her own makeup line girl, what are you talking about?
on the other side of the world, max stared at his plate with disinterest. lando, sitting across from him, watched with a sympathetic smile. max hadn't touched his food since they started breakfast.
"everything okay?" lando asked, noticing his friend's tension. max nodded, but it was more of a grimace.
"it's about y/n, isn't it?"
max sighed. "something like that."
lando showed him his phone. "she just posted something new." max felt a knot in his stomach. "everything's alright between you two, right?"
"yeah, it's just..." max ran a hand through his hair. "i wanted to keep things quiet for a while. you know how fans are." an involuntary smile appeared on his face as he thought of y/n. "sometimes i wish i could show her off to the world, have her come to races with me..."
"and what does she think about that?"
"i know she doesn't mind. in fact, she's told me she'd love to. but i wanted to protect her from the media circus."
lando nodded. "i know, and she knows too. just tell her you want to go public."
"i'll wait until she gets here. she's coming on saturday."
"alright, that's it. don't stress about her and jude. you know they're just friends."
max thanked lando and picked up his phone. as he dialed y/n's number, a sense of calm washed over him. he felt lucky to have someone like her and a friend like lando.
y/n_updates
liked by footballwags, y/nfan and others
y/n_updates this friday, during her instagram live, y/n clarified to all her fans that she and jude were not dating, they are just good friends and she would appreciate it if they stopped pairing her with him.
it seems that our girl has been dating someone else since the summer of last year and she doesn't want these rumors to affect her relationship.
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username what do you mean last summer? how the hell did she manage to hide it for so long?
username am i the only sad one here? i really liked them as a couple
judefan omg, thanks god!
username jude is not going to be your boyfriend, you idiot
username what are you doing here if you don't like her???
username do we have any idea who this mysterious boy might be?
username maybe another footballer
username could it be lando?
username you're so funny
y/n_l/n
liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and others
y/n_l/n lately
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username she said a while ago that she preferred dogs over cats 😭
username it must be of her mysterious boyfriend
username did he send you those flowers? i can treat you better
username this is jude from his secret account
username they are just friends 🙄
username call me crazy, but i know that cat
username WHOSE IS IT? TELL US!!!
username i thought i was the only one
username nobody talks about how beautiful she is?
username why doesn't anyone talk about her likes?
username do you think...?
username no, i don't think so...
username but what if...
username no, definitely not
f1gossip
liked by y/n_source, judebfans, username and others
f1gossip new wag alert
this weekend, y/n l/n was seen in the paddock alongside driver max verstappen sharing hugs and smiles very affectionately.
the influencer, who had been paired with footballer jude bellingham, clarified through her instagram that they were nothing more than just good friends.
on the other hand, y/n attended the singapore grand prix and was watching the race from the red bull motor home. but not only that, at the moment of the podium she and max shared a beautiful moment together and the driver, who had started the weekend off, looked happier than ever.
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username i said it and they called me crazy
username i started screaming when i saw her on the screen, she was so beautiful and she and max look so happy
username this was not on my 2024 bingo card
username i already love them both
judefan from a footballer to a driver, such a gold hunter
username let me hold your hand while i tell you this...
username get a life and stop fucking around
username this is so unexpected, but they look so cute
y/n_l/n
liked by maxverstappen1, f1wags, y/n_updates, landonorris and others
y/n_l/n well, my boyfriend's pretty cool but he's not as cool as me
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maxverstappen1 ik hou van je, schat (i love you, darling)
❤️ liked by the author
y/n_l/n i love you too, mijn leeuw
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username STOPPP! this is the couple you didn't expect but now you love them
landonorris i waited so long for this
username of course he knew
username you should tell us the details of their relationship
username mom n dad
username idk if i want to be her or be with her
maxverstappen1
liked by y/n_l/n, f1wags, maxandy/n and others
maxverstappen1 mine
username this is max's account or a y/n fan account
username both
username he is so in love
username i want a boyfriend like max
username she's so lucky
y/n_l/n my one and only
❤️ liked by the author
#formula 1 driver smau#formula 1 driver x reader#formula 1#formula 1 smau#f1 driver x reader#f1 drivers#f1 driver smau#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1#f1 x y/n#driver#red bull formula 1
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Astro observations🌺
FYI I’m not a real astrologer, just my observations :) TW🔞
The cancer moon men I know are pretty chill and laid back + funny, but the women are so bitchy and moody😭 with a big sweet tooth
Every twin I know either has Gemini or Pisces placements
You ever meet someone and their neck just stands out for some reason added points if they smell good, most likely they’re a Taurus rising/ mars. Good example is Megan thee stallion her neck is so cute to me hehe
Aries in the chart can show you the things you were introduced to at a very young age, the early memories that you think of and say ‘That was wild lol’
3rd: could’ve started learning way before you started school(like flash cards and things) siblings and cousins, music, having access to electronics early
4th: erratic home life, the woman around you could be go getters
6th: could’ve got a lot of injuries when younger, probably couldn’t have a peaceful day even if you tried, bad experiences with animals
7th: domestic abuse, might have seen people having affairs, lots of disagreements between couples
12th:paranormal events, you could’ve had a lot of deja vu moments without even knowing, tend to have strong spiritual gifts,people having ill intentions towards you
Aquarius moon or degree/ moon in the 11th tend to have a “second mom” a person that treats them like their one of their own children, sometimes even better than their own mother does. 🌚
The people with mars in the first house I know have so many battle scars on their body
Moon/cancer in 3rd love changing their voices, and they have a bad habit of not telling the whole truth / white lies
Water sign on the descendent- people are always wondering what you’re up to, no matter how much you show them they’ll still wanna know what you’re hiding
Your first house correlates to how you came into this world, I have Chiron (ruled by Virgo) in my 12 conjunct my ascendant, uhm she said she almost d*ed having me😀 and I was a C-section baby. And the hospital did her so dirty(you know much they hate black women) they didn’t even stitch her back up correctly or drain her fluids and to this day she still has problems. The also gave her extra dosages of drugs just cause she’s a plus size woman- honestly I could go on and on but it really correlates with my cap rising and Neptune/Uranus in 1st
Mercury ☌ Sun, these people voices are just💋💋 they sound so sensual and unique ugh hard to explain it but 🥴 ex. Jungkook , Tupac
Gemini/ Libra in 2nd love collecting things like figurines makeup clothes candles plushies, could easily be a borderline hoarder tho
Ives noticed that sun in 10th have a strained relationship with their father, but their later years in life their relationship gets better, or not could really go either way, also could have money issues in their early years but ends up climbing the corporate ladder. It may take you a while to tho but just know it’ll be worth it in the end :) also they always stand out at their work place in some way, the coworker that you’re glad to see clock in at rush hour cause you know they gonna handle shit
Venus- mercury positive aspects love giving out nicknames to their favorite people 🥺if they’re always calling you cute names just know they really care about you lol
Sag moons and degrees have no chill😀 like calm down bae sag anything tbh🚬
9th house ruler in the 11th could go to the same college with their old friends or could become very popular in the area they’re in, I think they’d make good bloggers
Air signs or degrees in 5th are trend setters.
Aquarius you inspire people, they could take things and make it into their own like art
With gemini here people will “copy & paste” ur looks. But no matter what it just looks like a knockoff version of what you did lmao it just never look as good as yours
Libra here people are very opinionated on how you express yourself either in a good way or bad, neither less you guys get a lot of compliments on your style
Every time I see a Capricorn rising with Neptune in the 1st it’s like their skin is see through and fragile😯makes sense tho since caps rule the skin and Neptune fogs things up. A good example is Ariana Grande her skin looks so delicate
Pluto/Scorpio in the 11th/11th house ruler in 8th, your friends could hate each other🤺 also they could have a rough life/childhood, trauma bonding or just experiencing traumatic events together is common here
Chiron in Aries (honestly any Aries placements it just depends on where it is), most people didn’t pay attention to them in their childhood in some way so they learned to be independent because of their lack of support cardinal things fr
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