#this is about celebrities. this is about people who should know better.

[qualitygiverdreamer09]

TWST Housewardens (Kalim, Vil, Idia and Malleus) As Your Boyfriend (Headcanons). Part 2 || End.

Header Credit: Disney

Pairing: Multi Scenario x gender neutral!Reader

Tags : Twisted wonderland x reader, Physical and non Physical Effection, just a lot of cute moment between couple.

Warning : None

A/N : For today there will be no Quotes, but I have different plans, including creating several headcanons (hc), which I have postponed for almost several months due to several obstacles that have prevented me from completing them.

The following is my interpretation of what I believe Kalim, Vil, Idia and Malleus would say and act, and I kindly apologize if it does not align perfectly with the character or if you have a different understanding. Please bear in mind that it is intended purely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken to heart.

─────────ೋღ 🌺 ღೋ─────────

Kalim Al-Asim

Type of Boyfriend - The Sunbeam Who Loves You With His Whole Heart

Dating Kalim is like basking in endless sunlight—he is warmth, joy, and laughter, a lover who showers you with affection at every opportunity. He doesn’t hold back—his love is open, genuine, and utterly overwhelming.

But with all that love comes deep-seated fears—fears of being not enough, of losing you to someone better.

Early Relationship – The “You’re the Best Thing Ever!” Phase

The moment Kalim realizes he loves you, he tells you. Immediately. Enthusiastically.

“OH! I love you! Haha, I was wondering why my heart felt all funny whenever I saw you—wow, this makes so much sense!”

There’s no hesitation, no overthinking—Kalim loves you, and he wants you to know it.

From that moment on, expect to be constantly adored.

He brings you surprise gifts daily (sometimes unnecessary, but the thought counts). He hugs you out of nowhere. He talks about you nonstop.

“My partner is the coolest! You should’ve seen them today—ahhh, I’m so lucky!”

It’s overwhelming at first—Kalim loves big, and if you’re not used to that, it can be a lot. But you quickly realize that his love is genuine.

He loves you because you’re you. Not because of status, looks, or achievements—just you.

As He Falls in Love – The Affectionate & Insecure Side

Despite his overwhelming joy, there’s a fragile side to Kalim’s love.

He’s never had to fight for anything in life, but love? That’s different.

Sometimes, when he sees someone else looking at you, laughing with you, he gets quiet—too quiet. And then, later that night, he’ll hug you a little too tightly and whisper: “…You don’t think I’m too much, do you?”

Because in the back of his mind, there’s always the fear that someone better will come along. Someone less reckless, less naïve—someone who deserves you more than he does.

And it takes everything in you to convince him that he is enough.

How He Shows Love

Physical Affection: Kalim loves touching you—hugs, kisses, holding your hand, carrying you for no reason at all.

Words of Affirmation: He tells you he loves you every day—sometimes multiple times a day.

Spontaneous Gestures: One time, he threw an entire fireworks show just to see you smile.

Dates with Kalim

Extravagant Adventures: Private airship rides, exotic locations, anything fun and spontaneous.

Festivals & Celebrations: He loves parties, and he wants you to be by his side.

Cozy, Quiet Nights (Eventually): Once he realizes that not every date has to be a grand event, he treasures the simple moments—watching the sunset with you, laughing over spilled tea.

Jealousy & Possessiveness

Kalim trusts you, but he doesn’t trust other people.

If someone flirts with you, he’ll laugh it off at first—he’s not the type to get angry. But later, he’ll frown, shifting uncomfortably.

“…You do love me, right?”

He’s not possessive in a controlling way—he just needs constant reassurance.

And when you pull him into a hug and say, “Of course I do, you dummy,” he grins so brightly that it feels like the sun itself.

Final Thoughts on Kalim as a Boyfriend

If you want a boyfriend who will love you openly, enthusiastically, and with everything he has, Kalim is the perfect choice. His love is a never-ending celebration, but beneath all that joy is a heart that just wants to be cherished in return.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Vil Schoenheit

Type of Boyfriend - The Perfectionist Who Loves You Flawlessly

Dating Vil is like being in the spotlight with a star—he is beauty, grace, and discipline incarnate, a man who demands perfection but loves you as you are.

He is meticulous in everything, including his love. He will never half-love you—he will either love you entirely or not at all.

But with that love comes expectations. And his biggest fear? That you will one day realize you deserve better.

Early Relationship – The “You Need to Keep Up” Phase

Vil doesn’t fall in love. He chooses it—carefully, deliberately.

So when you confess, he studies you—measuring, analyzing, searching for any sign of hesitation.

“…Do you even understand what you’re asking for?”

Loving Vil means being with someone exceptional. He does not tolerate laziness, carelessness, or complacency. If you want to be with him, you need to match him.

But if you do—if you stand beside him as an equal—his affection is breathtaking.

As He Falls in Love – The Devoted but Insecure Side

Vil is not soft, but his love is undeniable.

He adjusts your collar, smooths out your hair, fixes your posture—his fingers linger, gentle but firm.

He whispers praise in moments when you least expect it. “You looked radiant today.”

He challenges you to be better—not because he isn’t satisfied, but because he sees so much potential in you.

But beneath all of this is a deep-rooted insecurity: What if one day, you realize I’m not enough?

Because perfection is fleeting. Beauty fades. And Vil cannot bear the thought of losing you.

So when you kiss his temple and murmur, “You are more than enough,” he closes his eyes, just for a moment, and lets himself believe it.

How He Shows Love

Words of Affirmation: Vil praises you not just for how you look, but for your intelligence, your strength, your ambition.

Gift Giving: Every gift is thoughtful, personal, perfectly chosen.

Physical Affection (Surprisingly Tender): His touch is always intentional—brushing hair behind your ear, adjusting your jewelry, tracing patterns on your wrist.

Dates with Vil

Luxury Spa Days: Self-care is essential, and he loves spoiling you.

Cultural Events & Galas: If he’s attending, you will be by his side.

Peaceful Evenings with Just the Two of You: Though he thrives in the spotlight, his favorite moments are private, when he can simply be with you.

Jealousy & Possessiveness

Vil doesn’t get jealous. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

But if someone flirts with you, his expression turns cold—perfectly polite but utterly dismissive.

Later, he’ll cup your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“…You belong to me, don’t you?”

Because Vil knows his worth. And he needs to hear that you do, too.

Final Thoughts on Vil as a Boyfriend

If you want a lover who will push you to be your best, who is as devoted as he is exacting, and who, beneath it all, just wants to be enough for you, then Vil is the perfect match.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Idia Shroud

Type of Boyfriend - The Awkward but Devoted Gamer Boyfriend

Dating Idia is like romancing the final boss of social anxiety—he’s shy, awkward, and convinced he doesn’t deserve you. But once he opens up, he becomes shockingly devoted, willing to grind endless hours (in games and in real life) just to make you happy.

Early Relationship – The “Are You Sure?” Phase

At the start, Idia cannot process the idea that someone like you would want to date him.

When you first confess, he physically malfunctions—his face turns so red it could rival his flaming hair, and his voice glitches into rapid, panicked muttering.

“H-Huh?! L-Like, in a dating sim kind of way, or like, ironic ‘haha let’s prank the shut-in’ kind of way? Because if it’s the second one, oof, plot twist, my HP just hit zero—”

Even after you reassure him, he’s still convinced this must be some kind of dream or parallel universe scenario. He even makes a conspiracy board mapping out how this could have happened.

“Did I somehow trigger a secret romance route? There was no way my stats were high enough for this!”

As He Opens Up – The Clingy and Flirty Upgrade

Once Idia finally accepts that yes, you actually like him, his behavior changes dramatically.

Online, he becomes shockingly bold, spamming your DMs with flirtatious comments he’d never say out loud.

In person, he still stammers, but his touch lingers—his fingers brushing against yours, his hoodie sleeve tugging at your wrist when he doesn’t want you to leave.

One day, while gaming together, you casually say: "I love you."

CRITICAL HIT. Idia drops his controller like it physically burned him, staring at you in wide-eyed horror. His whole body glows neon pink.

“Wh-What?! You can’t just drop that bomb mid-match! That’s like pulling a final boss move out of nowhere! How am I supposed to counter that?!”

And yet, later that night, you receive a voice message from him—quiet, awkward, but sincere.

“…I love you too. Just, um, don’t use it as a combo attack without warning, okay?”

How He Shows Love

Quality Time: His ideal date is staying in and gaming together, eating snacks, and being comfortably silent.

Gift Giving: He crafts custom gaming avatars of you and writes sweet (but cringey) love notes in code hidden in games.

Physical Affection: He takes forever to initiate, but once comfortable, he leans into you while gaming, hugs you from behind while peeking at your screen, and absolutely melts if you play with his hair.

Dates with Idia

Private Anime & Gaming Marathons: He sets up the ultimate gaming nest, filled with blankets, RGB lights, and custom-made playlists based on your favorite OSTs.

Building a Digital World Together: He codes a mini-game where your characters can go on virtual dates, even if he’s too nervous to suggest real-life outings.

Late-Night Stargazing (From His Room): “Why go outside when I can just project the sky onto the ceiling? Same vibes, less social interaction.”

Jealousy & Possessiveness

Idia isn’t the confrontational type, but if someone flirts with you? Oh, he notices.

He won’t say anything in person, but later, he’ll be grumpy in chat:

“Ugh. That guy totally used a ‘flirty NPC’ dialogue line on you. So cringe. You’re not gonna, like, trade routes or anything, right? …Wait, you’re joking. You’re definitely joking. Right??”

His jealousy manifests as passive-aggressive nerd energy, but in reality, he’s just scared of losing you.

What It’s Like to Sleep Over

Idia does not sleep at normal hours. He wraps himself around you like a blanket, mumbling game theories until he passes out mid-sentence.

If you wake up first and move, he immediately latches onto you, half-asleep, muttering: “…No. Don’t go. Respawn… stay…”

Final Thoughts on Idia as a Boyfriend

If you love nerdy, flustered, ride-or-die devotion, Idia is the ultimate prize. He starts as a nervous wreck, but once he’s comfortable, he becomes a devoted, affectionate, and low-key possessive partner.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Malleus Draconia

Type of Boyfriend - The Chivalrous but Lonely Romantic Boyfriend.

Malleus is a fairytale romance brought to life—he treats you with reverence and awe, as though you’re the most precious thing in his world. But beneath his regal elegance is a deep loneliness, making him cling to every moment he has with you.

Early Relationship – The Curious and Courtly Lover

Malleus is fascinated by love, but since he’s rarely experienced it, he approaches it like a grand mystery to uncover.

When he first realizes his feelings for you, he doesn’t just confess—he formally asks permission to court you, bowing slightly with a hand over his heart.

“Would you grant me the honor of being yours?”

Dating Malleus means experiencing old-world chivalry—he opens doors, offers his arm, and kisses your hand as if you are royalty.

But he also doesn’t quite understand modern romance.

“Tell me, what is this ‘Netflix and chill�� humans speak of? A ritual of some sort?”

As He Falls in Love – The Possessive Protector

Once Malleus realizes how deeply he loves you, he becomes fiercely protective. He is not above displaying dominance to remind others that you belong to him.

If another person flirts with you, his voice drops dangerously low: “…I trust you will mind your place.”

That night, he will whisper against your skin, his breath warm: “You are mine, my love. No one shall take you from me.”

His affection is deeply poetic, almost worshipful: “Your presence is like the first star of twilight—endlessly radiant, eternally captivating.”

How He Shows Love

Gift Giving: Malleus bestows enchanted gifts, like flowers that glow when you’re near or jewelry infused with protective magic.

Quality Time: He cherishes every second with you, often watching you in quiet admiration.

Physical Affection: Forehead kisses, protective embraces, and tracing your features as if memorizing them.

Dates with Malleus

Midnight Walks in the Forest: The fireflies glow brighter around him, as if drawn to his magic.

Dancing in the Moonlight: With no music, only the sound of his deep laughter as he spins you in his arms.

Tea in His Castle: He loves watching you sip from delicate china, his gaze unreadable yet full of devotion.

Jealousy & Possessiveness

Malleus isn’t aggressive, but his mere presence is enough to make others back off. If someone flirts with you, they’ll feel a chill in the air—his magic reacts instinctively to his emotions.

Later, he’ll murmur against your temple: “Tell me, my love… Do you enjoy making me jealous?”

Final Thoughts on Malleus as a Boyfriend

Malleus loves with his entire being. If you want intense, poetic romance, deep devotion, and a protective yet gentle lover, Malleus is your perfect match.

Written By @qualitygiverdreamer09

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɴɢᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴡɪʟᴅᴄᴀᴛ ᴄʟᴜᴍꜱɪʟʏ ꜱʜᴏᴡꜱ ᴀꜰꜰᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.

Emma: "Prince Kagari's birthday is today?"

Townswoman: "Yes, it's become a tradition for the whole town to celebrate."

Emma: "So that's why it's so lively today."

(I had no idea it was Kagari's birthday.)

The townspeople were particularly excited, and the sweet smell of dorayaki filled the air from every direction.

Townswoman: "You should celebrate Prince Kagari too."

Townswoman: "I'm sure he'd be thrilled if someone as special as you sent him good wishes."

A woman I'd gotten to know since coming to Kogyoku flashed me a cheerful smile and gave me a gentle push.

Townswoman: "If you're having trouble picking a gift, I'll help you out!"

Emma: "Thanks, but since it's a special occasion, I'd like to come up with something myself."

(This feels kind of weirdly pressuring. Or is it just me?)

Satisfied with my response, the woman cheerfully left after offering a few words of encouragement.

(Kagari's helped me more times than I can count since I got to Kogyoku. Whether or not I'm special to him, I can't just ignore his birthday now that I know about it.)

(Alright.)

(Wait, what's this ridiculously long line?!)

When I packed my gift and made my way to the castle, I found the square completely packed with people who had come to celebrate Kagari.

(Swordsmen, nobles, commoners—wow, that's a huge crowd.)

At the front of the line, a striking figure with red hair caught my eye.

He was expressionless, silently receiving greetings and tributes one after another.

(Prince Kagari looks completely detached, like it has nothing to do with him. He doesn't seem happy at all.)

I stood on my toes to get a better look, and our eyes met.

(Did he just catch me staring? He's always quick to notice when someone's looking at him.)

I looked away and took cover by a nearby cherry blossom tree.

(What should I do? It's going to be difficult to celebrate with this many people around.)

(I really wanted to celebrate on his actual birthday, but maybe I should come back tomorrow. Wait, what?)

When I glanced back, Prince Kagari was gone.

Instead, his attendant was standing there, and despite not being the prince, people were still offering celebratory words and gifts.

It was a weird sight.

Kagari: "You're wide open, Princess."

(!?)

I turned toward the voice, and a hand suddenly covered my mouth.

Before I could react, he pulled me into the shadows beneath the tree, my back gently pressed against the trunk.

Emma: "Mmph!"

(When did he even get behind me?!)

I struggled, but he effortlessly pinned me against the tree, his face now dangerously close to mine.

For a second, I thought my heart would stop.

Kagari: "Will you behave?"

I nodded frantically, and only then did he finally let go of my mouth.

But the distance between us didn't change. He placed his hands on the tree, keeping me trapped.

(Calm down, Emma.)

(He's probably just staying this close to avoid being seen by others.)

I instinctively lowered my voice, careful not to let my breath brush against him.

Emma: "Why are you here?"

Kagari: "I saw you."

Emma: "So you came to see me?"

Kagari: "You called me."

(Is that how he saw it?)

A mix of guilt and a strange, fluttering warmth settled in my chest.

Kagari: "If you were planning to stand in line, you should give up."

Kagari: "That line won't die down until nightfall."

Emma: "That long…?"

Kagari: "And at night, there's a banquet. It'll go on until dawn."

(Spending an entire day celebrating… The Yaksha of Kogyoku really goes all out.)

I was impressed, but his expression remained blank as always.

He gazed at the never-ending line of people as if it had nothing to do with him, his detached demeanor unfitting for someone being celebrated.

(I feel like Kagari doesn't care much about his birthday.)

(What if he finds it annoying that I came?)

Kagari: "So? Why are you here?"

I instinctively looked away.

Emma: "I was just curious since there are so many people."

(I can't bring myself to say I also came to celebrate.)

I hid the bag with the present behind my back.

Kagari was silent for a while.

An awkward silence fell between us, making the noise around us feel distant.

(I hid it, but I wonder if he noticed.)

But Kagari didn't say anything more about it and just grabbed my arm.

Kagari: "Princess, will you come with me?"

Emma: "Huh? W-Wait, Prince Kagari?"

He stealthily led me toward the castle, barely giving me a choice. Once inside, he unceremoniously shoved me into a room before disappearing and returning with a large basket.

Kagari: "First, put this on."

Emma: "A hakama?"

Kagari: "Next, wrap this around your face."

Emma: "A scarf?"

Kagari: "Lastly, wear this at your waist."

Emma: "A… sword!?"

Kagari: "Tie your hair into a single ponytail."

Emma: "Um…?"

(Why are we suddenly having a dress-up session?)

I accepted each item as he handed them to me, tilting my head in confusion. But then, without hesitation, he picked up the hakama and reached for my clothes.

Kagari: "If you don't know how to wear it, I'll help."

Emma: "N-No! I got this!"

(I have no idea what's going on, but this can't possibly be bad, right?)

[beef-brisket]

Adam rolled his eyes as his sister walked away. Just because she's a saint and waits for marriage doesn't mean anything.

Adam: Who even waits for marriage anymore? All that ended when the war happened! People would rather die after getting fucked than dying a virgin.

Lucifer laughed: Tell me about it... so... what do you want to do?

Adam sighed: I better go get changed, then head back to the throne room before my parents come after me.

Lucifer nodded: And... do you want me to stay here?

Adam: If you could, dinner isn't far, and someone should be round soon to collect you. You'll need to get snatched for dinner.

Lucifer: Uh- "snatched"?

Adam: Yeah, when you see me, you'll know what I mean~.

Lucifer laughed as Adam waved and walked off.

-

And at dinner, Lucifer saw exactly what Adam meant.

Everyone stood as the prince walked in with his sister and stood near their thrones. Lucifer couldn't stop looking at Adam. He was wearing something that was a mixture of a suit and dress. It flowed down and hugged his cuves perfectly.

Next, the king and queen walked in, looking regal and intimidating.

King Edward: Everyone! What a joy us day! My darling son and your next king, has been returned to us!

Adam smiled and bowed as everyone cheeried.

Queen Sera: And, as reward for his return, he is to marry King Lucifer, of the Pride kingdom!

Lucifer smiled awkwardly as everyone turned and looked at him. He heard some whispering, but he couldn't hear the specifics. Eventually, they all cheered for him as well.

King Edward: This is a feast not only celebrating my sons return but also his engagement! Now, eat!

Lucifer could hardly focus on the food as he kept his eye on Adam, who was laughing with some of the people around him.

He jumped when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

Lucifer: Uh- yes?

Mark: So, you're the king of Pride, huh?

Lucifer: Oh, that I am!

Mark scoffed: I'm from Pride. It's a shit hole.

Lucifer glared: It's not a shit hole... I'm trying to-.

Mark: Y'know, some of my mates have a theory of who kidnapped the prince, and my guess was that it was you or someone associated with you.

Lucifer: W-What? Why?

Mark: Because you're desperate. Everyone in Pride is. Since the queen fucked off, shits gone down hill... and no one saw your for years. We thought you ran off with her! Or you're dead. Either one.

Lucifer: ...I was... busy. But, I've found a way to help our home.

Mark: Sure. I'll believe it when I see it... your "highness".

Prince Adam and Thief Lucifer

Lucifer, Alastor, and Vox ((RadioStatic yay! Lol))

Lucifer is a King of a dying Kingdom that is going to Hell (hahaha) and in order to survive and help his people him and the others steal as much as they can from neighboring kingdoms.

Adam is the heir to the throne in the Kingdom of Eden, his younger sister Emily won't be ready for it for a few more years yet.

Alastor gets the idea to kidnap one of them when he sees both Adam and Emily just out walking.

Fearing for his sister's safety, Adam volunteers to go with them willingly if they leave her.

So for safe keeping until they get the ransom money (you know the tower from tangled?) they take him to a tower that only they know about.

I love Prince Adam! Also, Lucifer, the hell are you doing hanging out with ruffians?

-

Vox searching Adam: He's got nothing! You're a Prince, where's your... jewels and gold?

Adam: Jewels? Gold? In this heat? I'd rather be chained up in your bdsm tower than wear gold on a day like today.

Alastor groans: Vox, teach him a lesson. His highness should know better than to speak out of line.

Vox: Teach him a lesson...?

Lucifer: Yeah, man. Punish him!

Adam: Yeah, punish me~.

[hope-inthedark]

Good Omens, My Life, and My Soon-To-Be-Wife: A Tumblr Love Story

I joined Tumblr in 2019, shortly after I discovered a mini-series about an angel and a demon and the not-really-end of the world. I was consumed by it, by the story and the characters and the love that ran underneath it all, and so I came to Tumblr to find a community of people who felt the same.

What I was not expecting to find was the love of my life, but here we are.

J and I met through a mutual friend (hi, @ineffablefool ) who had recommended my fics on his blog often enough that J decided to read them. Soon enough, I started noticing repeated comments from one particular user on many of my fics, and I found myself looking forward to reading what this person thought of new chapters and works. J eventually messaged me on Tumblr, we became friends, and later on, we became more than that.

I’ll spare you the ins and outs of our relationship (because I am, and always will be, fairly private about my real life/name/identity when it comes to my fandom life), but know this: in more than 5 years of knowing J, and in nearly 4 of being in a romantic relationship with them, I have come to know and understand what it means to love another person with your entire being. I have learned so much about patience and grace, and I have laughed so much more and generally been so much happier in this phase of my life than in any one before it. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us. Our relationship has spanned many years and many more miles, even stretching across an ocean as we’ve both navigated trans-Atlantic journeys that have lead to us finding a home together (at last). Edinburgh has been as good a home to me as I have ever had, and it’s been even better since J has been here with me.

So when J and I took a trip to London this past weekend to celebrate our engagement, we went to St. James’s Park. We found a bench, and we sat together on it, and we talked and thought about how absolutely mad and wonderful it is that Good Omens brought us here. It’s the love story that started ours, and there will always be part of me that is immensely glad that J and I found it when we did.

(There’s been a lot of talk lately about whether we as a fandom should continue to support and love Good Omens in light of the actions of one of its creators. To that I say: do what feels right to you. If you need to step away, I understand.

But to those of you who, like me, choose to remain in the fandom, know this: Good Omens is as much ours as it ever was his. We can claim the love we have found here, and we can celebrate it. We can mourn what we have lost while being grateful for what we have. And we can look forward to a happy ending, together, because it is what we - and Aziraphale and Crowley - have always deserved.)

I’ll sign off now and leave the rest of my sappy monologuing for my fiancée to handle. Thanks for listening.

And to @shesthewindandsea, my dearest love: cheers, darling. To the world, and to our happy ending.

[kalach-cha]

it’s so deeply amusing to me when (especially alt) conventionally attractive women try to be “feminist” by not shaving but then photoshop themselves to the point where they’re every 2014 tumblr anorexic’s wet dream.

[asklesbianonceler]

I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.

I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:

"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"

And

"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"

[himalayaan-flowers]

mental health experts are not a thing

[llycaons]

I got mad about how genuinely pretentious and condescending people on here about things that honestly don't even matter that much and so I went oh I know and I went to a mutual in law's blog because I KNOW they have the exact same views as me on them but they articulate them so much better and bam I got like six posts in a row of excellent compassionate measured responses to the very mean-spirited and meaninglessly cruel culture on here surrounding 'anti-intellectualism' and also calling people virgins in a derogatory way. like thanks! gotta jet

[girls-are-weird]

hi. unlabeled person here. i consider myself a part of the LGBTQ+ community. i don't identify as queer. come at me, bro.

[heavenlydevil-95]

x

[tortademaracuya]

It feels undeserving 👍

[rosicheeks]

🎉

[i-am-agent-washingtub]

:/

[sophiamcdougall]

You're a reasonably informed person on the internet. You've experienced things like no longer being able to get files off an old storage device, media you've downloaded suddenly going poof, sites and forums with troves full of people's thoughts and ideas vanishing forever. You've heard of cybercrime. You've read articles about lost media. You have at least a basic understanding that digital data is vulnerable, is what I'm saying. I'm guessing that you're also aware that history is, you know... important? And that it's an ongoing study, requiring ... data about how people live? And that it's not just about stanning celebrities that happen to be dead? Congratulations, you are significantly better-informed than the British government! So they're currently like "Oh hai can we destroy all these historical documents pls? To save money? Because we'll digitise them first so it's fine! That'll be easy, cheap and reliable -- right? These wills from the 1850s will totally be fine for another 170 years as a PNG or whatever, yeah? We didn't need to do an impact assesment about this because it's clearly win-win! We'd keep the physical wills of Famous People™ though because Famous People™ actually matter, unlike you plebs. We don't think there are any equalities implications about this, either! Also the only examples of Famous People™ we can think of are all white and rich, only one is a woman and she got famous because of the guy she married. Kisses!"

Yes, this is the same Government that's like "Oh no removing a statue of slave trader is erasing history :(" You have, however, until 23 February 2024 to politely inquire of them what the fuck they are smoking. And they will have to publish a summary of the responses they receive. And it will look kind of bad if the feedback is well-argued, informative and overwhelmingly negative and they go ahead and do it anyway. I currently edit documents including responses to consultations like (but significantly less insane) than this one. Responses do actually matter. I would particularly encourage British people/people based in the UK to do this, but as far as I can see it doesn't say you have to be either. If you are, say, a historian or an archivist, or someone who specialises in digital data do say so and draw on your expertise in your answers. This isn't a question of filling out a form. You have to manually compose an email answering the 12 questions in the consultation paper at the link above. I'll put my own answers under the fold. Note -- I never know if I'm being too rude in these sorts of things. You probably shouldn't be ruder than I have been.

Please do not copy and paste any of this: that would defeat the purpose. This isn't a petition, they need to see a range of individual responses. But it may give you a jumping-off point.

Question 1: Should the current law providing for the inspection of wills be preserved?

Yes. Our ability to understand our shared past is a fundamental aspect of our heritage. It is not possible for any authority to know in advance what future insights they are supporting or impeding by their treatment of material evidence. Safeguarding the historical record for future generations should be considered an extremely important duty.

Question 2: Are there any reforms you would suggest to the current law enabling wills to be inspected?

No.

Question 3: Are there any reasons why the High Court should store original paper will documents on a permanent basis, as opposed to just retaining a digitised copy of that material?

Yes. I am amazed that the recent cyber attack on the British Library, which has effectively paralysed it completely, not been sufficient to answer this question for you.  I also refer you to the fate of the Domesday Project. Digital storage is useful and can help more people access information; however, it is also inherently fragile. Malice, accident, or eventual inevitable obsolescence not merely might occur, but absolutely should be expected. It is ludicrously naive and reflects a truly unpardonable ignorance to assume that information preserved only in digital form is somehow inviolable and safe, or that a physical document once digitised, never need be digitised again..At absolute minimum, it should be understood as certain that at least some of any digital-only archive will eventually be permanently lost. It is not remotely implausible that all of it would be. Preserving the physical documents provides a crucial failsafe. It also allows any errors in reproduction -- also inevitable-- to be, eventually, seen and corrected. Note that maintaining, upgrading and replacing digital infrastructure is not free, easy or reliable. Over the long term, risks to the data concerned can only accumulate.

"Unlike the methods for preserving analog documents that have been honed over millennia, there is no deep precedence to look to regarding the management of digital records. As such, the processing, long-term storage, and distribution potential of archival digital data are highly unresolved issues. [..] the more digital data is migrated, translated, and re-compressed into new formats, the more room there is for information to be lost, be it at the microbit-level of preservation. Any failure to contend with the instability of digital storage mediums, hardware obsolescence, and software obsolescence thus meets a terminal end—the definitive loss of information. The common belief that digital data is safe so long as it is backed up according to the 3-2-1 rule (3 copies on 2 different formats with 1 copy saved off site) belies the fact that it is fundamentally unclear how long digital information can or will remain intact. What is certain is that its unique vulnerabilities do become more pertinent with age."  -- James Boyda, On Loss in the 21st Century: Digital Decay and the Archive, Introduction.

Question 4: Do you agree that after a certain time original paper documents (from 1858 onwards) may be destroyed (other than for famous individuals)? Are there any alternatives, involving the public or private sector, you can suggest to their being destroyed?

Absolutely not. And I would have hoped we were past the "great man" theory of history. Firstly, you do not know which figures will still be considered "famous" in the future and which currently obscure individuals may deserve and eventually receive greater attention. I note that of the three figures you mention here as notable enough to have their wills preserved, all are white, the majority are male (the one woman having achieved fame through marriage) and all were wealthy at the time of their death. Any such approach will certainly cull evidence of the lives of women, people of colour and the poor from the historical record, and send a clear message about whose lives you consider worth remembering.

Secondly, the famous and successsful are only a small part of our history. Understanding the realities that shaped our past and continue to mould our present requires evidence of the lives of so-called "ordinary people"!

Did you even speak to any historians before coming up with this idea?

Entrusting the documents to the private sector would be similarly disastrous. What happens when a private company goes bust or decides that preserving this material is no longer profitable? What reasonable person, confronted with our crumbling privatised water infrastructure, would willingly consign any part of our heritage to a similar fate?

Question 5: Do you agree that there is equivalence between paper and digital copies of wills so that the ECA 2000 can be used?

No. And it raises serious questions about the skill and knowledge base within HMCTS and the government that the very basic concepts of data loss and the digital dark age appear to be unknown to you. I also refer you to the Domesday Project.

Question 6: Are there any other matters directly related to the retention of digital or paper wills that are not covered by the proposed exercise of the powers in the ECA 2000 that you consider are necessary?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 7: If the Government pursues preserving permanently only a digital copy of a will document, should it seek to reform the primary legislation by introducing a Bill or do so under the ECA 2000?

Destroying the physical documents will always be an unforgivable dereliction of legal and moral duty.

Question 8: If the Government moves to digital only copies of original will documents, what do you think the retention period for the original paper wills should be? Please give reasons and state what you believe the minimum retention period should be and whether you consider the Government’s suggestion of 25 years to be reasonable.

There is no good version of this plan. The physical documents should be preserved.

Question 9: Do you agree with the principle that wills of famous people should be preserved in the original paper form for historic interest?

This question betrays deep ignorance of what "historic interest" actually is. The study of history is not simply glorified celebrity gossip. If anything, the physical wills of currently famous people could be considered more expendable as it is likely that their contents are so widely diffused as to be relatively "safe", whereas the wills of so-called "ordinary people" will, especially in aggregate, provide insights that have not yet been explored.

Question 10: Do you have any initial suggestions on the criteria which should be adopted for identifying famous/historic figures whose original paper will document should be preserved permanently?

Abandon this entire lamentable plan. As previously discussed, you do not and cannot know who will be considered "famous" in the future, and fame is a profoundly flawed criterion of historical significance.

Question 11: Do you agree that the Probate Registries should only permanently retain wills and codicils from the documents submitted in support of a probate application? Please explain, if setting out the case for retention of any other documents.

No, all the documents should be preserved indefinitely.

Question 12: Do you agree that we have correctly identified the range and extent of the equalities impacts under each of these proposals set out in this consultation? Please give reasons and supply evidence of further equalities impacts as appropriate.

No. You appear to have neglected equalities impacts entirely. As discussed, in your drive to prioritise "famous people", your plan will certainly prioritise the white, wealthy and mostly the male, as your "Charles Dickens, Charles Darwin and Princess Diana" examples amply indicate. This plan will create a two-tier system where evidence of the lives of the privileged is carefully preserved while information regarding people of colour, women, the working class and other disadvantaged groups is disproportionately abandoned to digital decay and eventual loss. Current and future historians from, or specialising in the history of minority groups will be especially impoverished by this.  

[prickly-paprikash]

Kendrick doesn't just hate Drake as a person. He hates the very idea of Drake.

Hip-Hop is rooted in revolution. In defiance. These are the songs of an oppressed group of people, and decades upon decades people have hated it. Accused of being meaningless and invalid. Media outlets took steps to belittle hip-hop and make sure it isn't recognized as an art form and as a means to fight back.

2Pac spoke of wealth disparity and inequality. Tupac was literally a member of a communist organization when he was younger and never stopped speaking against capitalism.

Lauryn Hill spoke of the struggles a woman faces. Not just women, but black women. Salt-N-Peppa. Queen Latifah. MISSY FUCKING ELLIOT.

N.W.A made sure people knew about police brutality and violence against the Black community.

And now, in this day and age, we're also experiencing an explosion of Queer Hip-Hop. Lil Nas X is at the forefront of this. Lil Uzi Vert came out as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, even when they knew that a lot of their fans would never use it or even respect them for it. Auntie Diaries, a song about a young man who grew up in a transphobic environment and bought into those beliefs, but could never fully do it because his Uncle loved him so much and taught him a lot of life lessons, and that wisdom translated to him accepting his cousin as a woman as well.

Drake is none of that.

He's the perfect representation of what people think hip-hop is. Flexing. Posturing. Objectifying women. A fucker so insecure he bought 2Pac's ring just to feel like he's part of the black community. Rejected by Rihanna publicly. Tried to groom Millie Bobby Brown. Kissed and inappropriately touched an underage girl during his concert. His songs have inspired so many young boys to treat girls like shit. His belief that the amount of rings and chains and cars he has is the true meaning of success.

Additional Edit: This is my fault. If this post gains more views, then it would be remiss of me not to add to this. It was my fault to begin with, not stating this beforehand because while I did know, I got lost in celebrating Hip-Hop in a place that doesn't usually do so, and rightfully so.

2Pac did fight for wealth equality and better social living for the black community. He also has a long, long history of battery, domestic abuse, and sexual harassment against women. Specifically against women of color. He made a song to celebrate his own mother, but outright refused to give the same show of respect to other women in his life. His hypocritical nature was brushed off in later decades, just the way I did now.

N.W.A is the same. Sexual assault charges, violence—they spoke of Police reform, but refuses to give the same treatment back towards the women in their lives.

50 cent refuses to backtrack on any of his misogynistic lyrics.

Modern rappers of today, such as the dead XXXtentacion. 6ix9ine. Kodak Black.

I do love Hip-Hop. I love rap. And the music itself has always been anti-authoritarian at its core, because those are its roots. And I was happy that circles that did not normally know of it or enjoy it were getting into it, even for one thing like this rap feud.

Lil Nas X, Little Simz, Childish Gambino, Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Lauryn Hill—rappers who have at the very least consistently tried to put their money where their mouth is. Who have tried to act in accordance to what they rap and write and sing for.

@shehungthemoon @ohsugarsims finnthehumanmp3 were the ones who rightfully clarified in the comments. I know an apology won't correct my hypocrisy or my stupidity. I should have added all of this before making this post, but I wanted so badly to celebrate a genre of music but failed to do my due diligence in showing a better, holistic view of it. If anyone felt triggered, offended, troubled, frustrated or any other intense negative emotions surrounding this, please do block me. I'm sorry.

[lastoneout]

I keep thinking about all of the disabled activists and people before me who stranded themselves on the 4th floor of buildings for weeks and crawled up stairs and fought with airline staff and schools and doctors and refused to stop existing in the face of injustice and bigotry no matter how big and scary and hopeless it seemed. Every time I get angry and scared the protests that lead to the creation of the ADA pop up again and remind me that disabled people are so much fucking stronger than anyone has ever given us credit for, and I can't help but be proud of that. And I know not all disabled people feel like we should take pride in our disabilities and have flags or whatever, but I think not just living, but thriving, in spite of a world that wants us dead and gone, in the face of both illness and persecution, and how we've not only bought ourselves forward, but uplifted the disabled people around us, secured more equal futures for everyone who will come after, and truly changed the way so many abled people have seen us for the better is something to be damn fucking proud of.

We have always been here and we always will be, there will never be a world without disabled people because being disabled is not bad, it's a natural part of the human experience and yeah it sucks some times but even when it sucks we have fought to build beautiful, unique, happy lives with people, both like us and not, and that should be celebrated.

The first sign of human civilization is the healed femur. The body of the profoundly disabled person who would have needed help to even just eat being carefully laid to rest after decades of a full, happy life. The medicinal plants showing even before we were entirely human we were doing what we could to not just survive, but alleviate suffering while we're at it. Above everything, evolution selected not the baby who can walk and eat and be quiet, but the one that can ask for help.

Disabled people are not just angry cockroach motherfuckers who refuse to die, we are proof of humanity's HUMANITY. Proof that natural selection selected a species that takes care of each other. From healed femurs and medicinal plants to vaccines and IVs and insulin to now, we are driven to help one another, we are at our strongest when we don't leave our most vulnerable behind. And I am living proof of that. My mother is living proof of that. Every disabled and chronically and/or mentally ill person I know is living proof of that.

And I don't know about the rest of you, but will carry that shred of humanity's true nature inside me like it's my fucking soul. I am scared and angry and hurt, but I have a lifetime's experience being scared and angry, and I can shake off the kind of pain that would make Atlas crumble to dust like it's nothing but a stiff fucking breeze. Disabled people have always been here, turning fear and anger and pain into joy and beauty and connection, and I'm not going to let everyone who came before me down. I'm not going to give up. Not now, not ever.

It's okay if you're disabled and you've hit your limit, you're too scared and tired and hurt, I won't blame you. But I won't abandon you, either. I might not be able to right all of the wrongs in the world, but I'll be strong, I'll carry all of you with me, I will not give up.

As I've said before, society hates a cripple who won't die, so we must spite them and live anyway.

Please, live anyway. I know if anyone can, it's us.