#this is a way of saying i should draw more horror considering this story is about necromancy lol

[axel-tiredstudent]

giving my fav oc and protagonist really disturbing sexual fantasies cause they make sense with the narrative's and his own themes 🫡

[ckret2]

Chapter 53 of human Bill Cipher not properly appreciating the fact that Mabel is his only friend on Earth:

Mabel has read a book about Bill's home dimension and is prepared to interrogate him all about where he comes from.

Bill is willing to do anything to avoid being interrogated.

(Featuring SEVEN illustrations, provided by 🌈 MABEL 💖)

####

Flatworld, from what Mabel had read, was probably literally the worst place to ever exist. 

The book was a hundred pages of an old-fashioned formal-sounding super boring guy rambling on about the most egregiously evil society Mabel had ever had the horror of reading about.

Society consisted of a bunch of geometric shapes—which in concept sounded half nerdy and half adorable—but they'd made a brutally oppressive government organized by quantity of sides, with infinite-sided circles at the top and three-sided triangles at the bottom, and one-sided lines—women—oppressed into near silence. Career options, educational opportunities, who you could love, were all determined by your sides. Irregular shapes—quadrilaterals that weren't squares, triangles that weren't equilateral, anyone with a side too long or too short—were presumed from birth to be criminally insane. Each generation had sons with one more side than their father—and they had to, because having higher-ranked sons was the only way families could climb out of poverty. When babies were born with too few or irregular sides, poor families abandoned them—or worse—and rich families put them through oft-fatal bone-snapping surgeries to regularize or increase their sides. Knowledge of the third dimension was considered heretical, and anybody claiming it was real was locked in an insane asylum.

There was a lot of mathy stuff in the book about a square meeting a magical sphere and going on educational adventures to the higher and lower dimensions; but most of it passed by her in a blur. When she'd finished reading last night, Mabel had lay in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about dead baby shapes and fighting the urge to wake Bill up just so she could hug him; until she'd finally drifted off and woken up in her own bed.

At least, thank goodness, the bit about banning colors so lower shapes couldn't contour themselves to look like higher shapes was false. But she was sure that at least part of the story was true. And it had happened to somebody she knew. It was a lot to process.

So she processed it the way she usually did the stories that weighed on her: by creating a self-insert and pulling out her art supplies.

####

"You're drawing fan art of Flatworld?" Bill asked warily.

"I wouldn't call it fan art. I'd say it's more of a... thoughtful artistic critique. I don't think I'm a 'fan' of the second dimension," Mabel said. "No offense."

"Sure."

Mabel had designed a shapesona of herself: a pink heart with a rainbow-colored outline, a big sparkly eye, and skinny black stick limbs like Bill's. If, as Bill had said, colors weren't illegal, she didn't see any reason she couldn't be rainbow. The heart shape was maybe unconventional, but Bill hadn't said she couldn't be a heart yet, so she was sticking with it for now.

She'd honestly expected Bill to come over and interrogate her about her creation long before now. Usually, when she was doing art and he was unoccupied, he was hovering right by her, examining her work and dropping hints—some more subtle than others—that she should draw him next. But she hadn't immediately noticed when he'd silently drifted into the room, and she wasn't sure how long he'd been there before speaking up. He was still leaning on the wall, arms crossed, watching askance from halfway across the living room as Mabel worked with her crayons, as if she were playing with a chemistry set and he was trying to figure out if she was building a bomb.

"Is Flatworld really about your world?" Mabel asked. "Did you tell Edward Bishop Bishop all that stuff? With the circles and all the laws about shapes and stuff?"

Bill mulled over the question, staring into space. Mabel had never seen his face look so inexpressive before—at least, not since his first night as a captive, after he'd gotten all the screaming out and had looked too exhausted to feel. "We talked," he conceded. "I'm surprised you got your hands on it. I suppose Stanford brought it up."

Something in the back of her mind pricked up defensively—what was that supposed to mean, he was surprised she got her hands on it?—but she pushed it back down. "Yeah, he told me and Dipper about it when you guys got home yesterday," Mabel said. "But you brought it up to me first!"

"No I didn't. When?"

"A few weeks ago? You mentioned Edward Bishop Bishop."

"I don't remember that," Bill muttered. "I probably didn't think you'd make sense of it."

"Hey!"

"You didn't make sense of it! Ford had to tell you about it."

"Yeah, but—mean!" She shoved aside her drawing and started on another one, grumbling, "I could've made sense of it if I'd looked it up."

What was up with Bill today? He wasn't usually this much of a jerk. To her. Lately. Plus, she thought they'd really had a moment yesterday! But Bill had had a rough couple days. Maybe he was just tired and cranky. 

A wiser person might just leave well enough alone. But a wiser person wasn't exploding in their brain with curiosity about just how bad Bill's life had really been. There was something itching at the back of her head, had been itching since she'd woken up—something about Bill, something important, she was sure of it—but she couldn't quite put together what it was. She just needed to talk to Bill long enough to figure it out.

"So..." She glanced up from filling in a shape yellow, "were lines really executed if they didn't make noises all the time so everyone always knew where they were and they couldn't sneak up and stab anyone?"

Bill scoffed, rolling his eyes, as if the very idea was stupid. "It wasn't that extreme. Making a peace cry is like a human saying 'coming through' when they're trying to squeeze past somebody. Lines are just taught to do it in public because it's easier not to see a line, that's all."

"If they didn't, were they executed...?"

"No. They were just rude."

That was a relief. Mabel had been worried for her fellow ladies. She was plenty noisy, but she didn't think she could remember to make constant sound any time she was around other people. She turned back to coloring her newest drawing, but watched Bill out of the corner of her eye. "Is it true that rich people killed almost all of their babies by giving them surgery to break their sides?"

The corner of Bill's mouth curled in a sneer. "Do I look like a pediatric surgeon?"

"Um." Not a welcome question. She tried to backtrack to something softer. "So, in the second dimension, the outside of your body is just your outline and your guts are everything inside the outline, right?"

He gave her a wary look. "Yeah."

"So your bow tie is basically in your stomach."

Bill sucked in a deep breath; but quickly caved in to the need to be the most correct person in the room. "More like around my esophagus, but. Sure."

"So, where did you wear it when you were back in the second dimension? Was it on your side? Did you have to wear two so people could see them from both sides—"

"I didn't need a bow tie then."

Mabel stared at him. "What do you mean, you didn't 'need' it? What do you need it for now?"

Bill ignored the question. "You know, I didn't think Flatworld was an interesting enough book to deserve this much attention! Especially not from you. You like fun stories." It felt oddly like he was criticizing her for having read it.

"Well—yeah, but it's about your home! That makes it fun!"

Bill raised his brows.

"Right? Doesn't it?"

"Kid." Bill laughed condescendingly. "Don't give me that. You read an entire book. In the summer. About math. With a downer ending where the narrator goes insane and gets locked up. That's some people's idea of a fun time, but I know it's not yours."

Maybe "fun" was the wrong word—but it was still important. She was glad she'd read it. She'd cared about it. She'd cared enough to know Bill was describing it wrong. "That's not what happened. The square got locked up because he kept telling everybody the third dimension's real."

"Like I said! He went insane!"

"But he's not insane. Everyone says he is, but he's right about the third dimension! It's everyone else who's stupid!"

"So what," Bill said. "The things he knows mean he'll never be able to see the world the way other shapes do, and no matter what he does he'll never be happy with his home. If that's not insanity, what is?"

Last year, she'd heard Bill agree when Gideon called him insane. She'd always wondered. "Is that why you're insane?"

Bill shot Mabel a furious look. That was the wrong thing to say. "Shooting Star—"

(Oh no, she thought, he's using my full name.)

"—what's with the third degree." Bill crossed the room to lean on the other side of the table. He gave her the guarded glare of a guilty suspect facing down a cop in an interrogation room—and trying to figure out whether he could kill the cop before he was stopped. "What do you think you're trying to dig up?"

"I'm not trying to 'dig up' anything," Mabel said. "I just want to learn more about you!"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you do! Who doesn't wanna know all about me! And right after I trusted you yesterday! Do you think you're the first person to start digging into my history? 'Hey, does anyone know what made Bill Cipher so crazy'?" Bill laughed bitterly. " You're not even the first Pines to try it. Not even the second."

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" said Mabel, right before it dawned on her that that was exactly what she was trying to do.

"Right. I'm sure whatever you learn will make a nice two-page spread in Journal 5. Another secret you and Fordsy can add to your Mysteries, huh? Think he'll draw the dead babies?"

She thought back to Portland—to asking Ford what had made Bill so awful. I think if anyone’s ever had a chance of finding out what made him like he is, it might be you. Mabel shook her head. No. She didn't want to be that. "I'm not Grunkle Ford's spy, I'm your friend. I just—I just want to understand you—"

"Yeah, and the 'friends' who understand you are the most dangerous kind." Bill laughed harshly. "Your uncle and brother couldn't figure me out! And Sixer's been trying for years! So what makes you think YOU can?"

He was calling her stupid. He'd been calling her stupid all day. That was why he was so surprised she'd read the book.

"You—shut up!" She wadded up her latest drawing and flung it in Bill's face. (He snatched out of midair.) "All I did was read a book I thought was important to you, you jerk! I thought you'd like that!"

She hadn't meant for that waver to enter her voice. But she was exhausted from too little sleep and worrying about dead baby shapes and worrying about Bill's fear of death and worrying about what Ford had said about not giving Bill a second chance, and now Bill was being a jerk, and maybe he was just exhausted and upset too, but he was treating her like she was stupid—and there was that pathetic little waver.

But it made Bill pause in his onslaught; for a moment, he averted his gaze. Still, he said, "Maybe if you'd thought to ask—"

"You were asleep! I was being nice! And letting you sleep! In my bed!"

"But—"

"Just go away!" She pointed at the doorway.

Bill's face hardened again. "Fine!" He flung his hands in the air and stomped from the room. "Who wants to hang out with you when you're in such a bad mood, anyway."

Mabel glared at her stupid drawings so she didn't have to watch Bill's stupid back as he left.

Why had she bothered?

When Bill was out of sight, she dropped back onto her chair, pulled her sweater over her face, crossed her arms on the table, and buried her head in them.

####

Bill didn't think to smooth out the paper Mabel had flung at him until he was out of the room.

On one side she'd drawn Bill—properly triangular—with an expression that he thought was supposed to be fear and on the other side several angry-looking shapes, pentagons and hexagons, colored gray and black, being led by a pale figure shaped like a human skull and wielding a scythe; and between them, a bright pink heart, standing in front of Bill protectively, hands on its "hips," glaring down the would-be assailants.

The corners of Bill's mouth sagged down.

####

The bell rang and the shapes began filing out of class, muttering to each other about how they thought they'd done on the test. As the triangle cheerfully left the room, the teacher caught him by the arm again to pull him over. "Just a minute," she said. "I want a word with you."

Oh, he bet she did. Breezily, he said, "Sure thing! What is it?"

"Who was the first triangular president?"

"Wh— Th—" He spluttered indignantly. "There's been like—seven of them."

"Nine. And I'm only asking about the first one."

"How should I know!"

"You knew an hour ago."

He sputtered again. "That was— That was a multiple choice test! And it was an hour closer to when I'd studied! And I can focus better in the classroom! You can't expect me to remember anything in the hallway. You're using intimidation tactics. How could anyone focus under these conditions—"

"I don't know what you're doing," the teacher said, "or how you're doing it. Maybe I never will. But..." She sighed, and the anger seemed to leak out of her, and that only made him more nervous. "But whatever you're doing—you won't be able to do it forever. What will you do when you're out in the real world and you didn't learn anything in school?"

Her pity was worse than being hated had been. At least when he was hated, he knew she only looked down on him because she had something against him. What did he do with pity? With concerned warnings about the "real world"? He'd never heard anybody use the phrase "the real world" as anything but a threat. He hoped he was never out in the real world.

"Who cares! I'll never need any of this!" He should have shut up there. He didn't: "You're just jealous that me and my family make a million times more lying to everyone than you'll ever get trying to teach them the truth!"

His teacher gasped in shock; but before she could say anything, he was halfway down the hall with no intention of slowing down.

The next day, he stayed home, and his mom visited the principal. The day after that, he had a new teacher.

####

He was stupid. He knew that. He didn't know when he'd gotten stupid—if it was because he'd started touring so much and missing classes, or if he'd always been dumb and just didn't notice it before he registered just how often he was using his all-seeing eye to pick up answers that other kids couldn't see. It had crept up on him. But there it was. He was stupid, and he was too stupid to figure out what to do about it.

There was a big difference between being able to see everything, and actually knowing anything. And he might be all-seeing, but an idiot like him would never be all-knowing.

####

A trillion years later, he still didn't remember the name of the first triangular president. And look how far he'd gotten without it.

Lunch was toast and peanut butter. The toaster was the only source of heat he could use without having to ask his captors for access; and peanut butter and bread were the most nutritious foods he could reach without asking his captors to open a cabinet or fridge. He was sick of toast and peanut butter.

He wasn't about to ask Mabel to help him get lunch.

Well. He'd succeeded. He'd known just the right thing to say to get Mabel to lay off and drop the topic. Did he feel accomplished?

He stared out the window as he ate—there were hazy gray clouds on the horizon, beyond the trees, slowly inching closer—and he tried not to look at the picture Mabel had flung at him.

####

Mabel felt dumb about being upset that Bill thought she was dumb.

Because of course he did. Sure, he liked her art and he liked dance music and games without rules; sure, he was a willing student when it came to stuff like making friendship bracelets or artistically mixing sprinkles; sure, he was a weirdo fun guy; but he was also a Smarty McSmartypants, just like Dipper or Ford. And Mabel was the Girl Dipper who brought home C's. And even a weirdo fun Smarty wouldn't want to hang out for long with someone who couldn't keep up with nerd talk. He probably just... put up with her for as long as he could stand pretending he took her seriously, but he'd finally lost his patience...

And shown his true, jerky colors again.

Maybe Ford and Dipper were right about him; maybe he couldn't really change.

Except... there was something he'd said. And right after I trusted you yesterday. When he'd cried in front of her. When he'd told her about his fear of death.

He was being a jerk because he thought she'd betrayed him. But by reading a book?! Why couldn't he ever just explain himself? Did he think whatever was bothering him was obvious, and she was stupid for not figuring it out?

Something she almost but didn't quite remember thudded like a drum inside her brain. Dum-dum-dum. Dum-dum-dome.

From the entryway, Bill called, "Hey, star girl. I—"

He stopped in the doorway. Mabel had taped 28 pieces of paper together, drawn on a door knob, written "DOOR" at the top, and taped it across the doorway into the living room. Irritably, Bill said, "It doesn't work like that. This is obviously paper."

"Bill," Mabel grumbled. "Go away."

"No. I'm gonna say something to you."

He didn't phrase that like he was giving her a choice in the matter; but all the same, she said, "I don't wanna hear it."

"You know that horror story about a bride with a velvet ribbon tied around her neck, and her head falls off and rolls down the stairs when her husband unties it?"

She did. She and Dipper had read a book of scary stories to each other on Halloween a few years ago while waiting for it to be late enough to go trick-or-treating. In spite of herself, he'd piqued her curiosity. She reluctantly turned to look at him. "Yeah? So?"

Bill was leaning in the doorway, head tilted against the doorframe so he could see Mabel around the paper door curtain. "That's why I wear a bow tie."

Mabel blinked. "Wait—if you didn't, your head would fall off? What part of you is your head? How did it come off? Were you decapitated? Did you get decapitated for knowing about the third dimension—?"

"It doesn't keep my head on; it keeps my skin on."

Mabel's nose wrinkled. "Gross! How?"

"Remember how you said my outline is my skin and all my organs are inside the outline," Bill said. "That didn't change when we left the second dimension! We had to get exoskeletons on our top and bottom sides so solids like you can't stick you fingers in our guts. My bow tie keeps it tied in place."

"Whoa." So that was why they hadn't seen Bill's organs before. "Do you ever take it off?"

"Mostly when I'm eating!" He knocked on the doorframe. "So can I come in now?"

Of course. He'd been using information to buy his way back into her good graces. (No—that was what somebody who didn't think Bill deserved a second chance would think. He was making up for earlier by answering one of her questions about him.)

She took a deep breath, turned to face Bill, and said, "You didn't talk to me like a friend earlier."

"I—" Bill grimaced, looked at the ceiling for help, and conceded, "I mean—It's how I talk to my friends, but all right, I know you're not used to that—"

"Nobody should be used to that!" Mabel said. "What would Love Bunny say?"

"Wh—?! I— Th— You—" His voice cracked as it jumped higher, "What do I care what a cartoon rabbit thinks about—"

"What. Would. She. Say."

Bill's face screwed up in agony. He crossed his arms. "Ugh."

"Biiill?"

Eyes squeezed shut, Bill said, "She'd say my breath smells like I've been eating mean beans."

"Aaand?"

"I'm not going to say it. I won't say it."

"And you need to eat your nice rice!"

Bill let out a long, slow sigh.

"Say it!"

"This is my penance," Bill muttered toward his feet. "This is my penance. This is fair." He took a breath. "And... I need to eat my nice rice."

Mabel nodded. He'd confessed his sins.

"I think we're out of nice rice," Bill said, "but I've had the peanut butter of kindness and the toast of remorse. Good enough?"

She considered it. "Yeah. You can come in."

Bill batted aside the paper door curtain and ducked into the room. 

He sat across the table from Mabel and set down the paper she'd chucked at him amongst her others. Mabel glanced at the drawing, embarrassed of it now; but Bill didn't say anything about it.

He just propped his cheek against his hand and started looking over her other art.

Mabel sat there with her hands under her legs, watching his spotlight eyes rove over the table, feeling like she was waiting for a teacher to grade a poster she'd made for class. He saw a stop sign red octagon in sunglasses that was labeled "Bill's parole officer" and snorted. She wasn't sure if it was an amused snort or a derogatory snort. His gaze stopped on her attempt to figure out how Flatworlder anatomy worked, and didn't move farther. She'd probably gotten everything wrong, hadn't she?

She couldn't stand waiting for him to pass judgment on her art. "You think they look dumb, don't you."

Bill took a moment to reply. He didn't look up from her drawings. "I don't think you're dumb, Shooting Star."

"You think I'm dumber than Dipper and Grunkle Ford."

Bill winced. "I don't." At her dubious look, Bill amended, "Only Stanford! And that barely counts, all humans are dumber than Stanford. It doesn't mean I think you're dumb-dumb"

"Could've fooled me," Mabel muttered.

"You bet! I'm good at fooling people. All I have to do is say things I don't mean that make people feel the way I want." His voice was flat and matter-of-fact. "I wanted you to feel like the conversation wasn't worth it. That's all."

She stared at him. "By letting me know you think I'm stupid?!" She chucked a crayon at his face. "You could have just told me you didn't want to talk about Flatworld!" Her voice was getting that stupid waver again. "If I'd known, I would have dropped it! I didn't want to upset you!"

"I wasn't upset, it's just a stupid thing to complain about! It's just a dumb book! It'd—it'd take a real loser to be bothered by talking about a dumb book! I'm not..." He sighed harshly. "I know you weren't trying to get on my nerves, kid. It'd mess up your sticker chart." (Mabel hadn't even realized he knew about her sticker chart.) Almost inaudibly, he added, "M'sorry."

She'd never heard him apologize before.

She let out a slow breath. "Biiill. I don't think you're a loser."

He muttered something she couldn't make out as he flipped his hood on and pulled it down over his burning face. "Forget it. Move on. It's in the past!"

"If you're so embarrassed—"

"Not embarrassed!"

She chucked another crayon at his chest. "Then why are you telling me this now?"

Bill shut his eyes; took a deep breath; and, with a look of solemn dignity, and no small amount of pain, he said, "Because. Teddy Tender says. Our friends can't help us feel better if we don't tell them why we feel bad." He almost, almost managed to say it without sounding sarcastic.

Mabel burst out laughing. Bill pulled his hood lower.

Bill didn't even like Teddy Tender—he thought he was the stick in the mud of the Color Critters—and he certainly wasn't actually trying to follow Teddy's friendship lessons. He was just... saying something he didn't mean to make Mabel feel the way he wanted. And he wanted her to feel better.

No matter what anyone else said, he could change. And he was changing.

"Apology accepted," Mabel said. "Gold star!" She peeled one off a nearby sticker sheet and held it out.

Bill eyed it, like a man so hungry he was too nauseous to eat eyeing a pizza; and then snatched it from her and stuck it in the middle of his hoodie.

Mabel said, "And... I guess I'm sorry for getting all diggy about your home world." Even if she hadn't known it was bothering him, she probably should've guessed, shouldn't she? With how crabby he'd gotten. "I just got all excited and curious and... kinda worried about you after reading that book?" She sighed. "I understand if you don't wanna talk about it. You probably hated your dimension."

"What? He lurched forward with the vehemence of his denial—"Of course I don't hate my dimension!" Mabel leaned away at the sudden rage that had flared up in his eyes; but it died just as quickly and Bill immediately reeled himself back in, sitting back, crossing his arms: "I mean, come on, kid, use your head: you read a book about a culture. We're talking about an entire dimension. Would you hold a grudge against Jupiter if an ant bit you on Earth?"

Even as casually as he played it off, Mabel was sure he hadn't meant anything as calm and measured as claiming it was technically irrational to hate an entire dimension. He meant—emphatically, with his whole heart behind it—that he didn't hate his home dimension, at all.

Then why didn't he want to talk about it? (Then why had he destroyed it? Or was not hating it just another fiction he'd made up because he'd prefer that reality? Or was the destruction itself a lie? He hadn't mentioned it once since they'd started talking about Flatworld. Or did he think she didn't know about that and didn't want her to know? Or...)

Something had been churning in her subconscious since she woke up, and now—watching Bill ball up around himself as he squirmed around the things he didn't want to say—it finally dawned on her. Two words. Another piece of the Axolotl's poem. She tried to hold the words in her head until she could write them down, repeating them over and over—Misses home. Misses home.

Quietly, she asked, "Then... don't you want to remember it?"

His face spasmed, like it was nearly cracking in two—and then smoothed out. His face was blank. He didn't answer for a moment. "The last time I told a human more than two sentences about where I'm from... he gave me the universe's most depressing geometry textbook."

Oh. Maybe Bill was following Teddy Tender's friendship advice. "That's because you were talking to a boring old-timey math teacher, duh."

He laughed wryly. "You may have a point!"

If Bill assumed anybody prying into his history was either looking for the reason something was wrong with him, or publishing a whole book about the super bad parts... No wonder he hadn't wanted to talk to her. "So you didn't dislike Flatworld? You just dislike the book?"

Bill grimaced. "Did you read Eddie's biography?"

"No?"

####

As soon as he'd buckled himself into his seat for the drive to Northwest Manor, Dipper read the summary on the back cover of Flatworld, and then the paragraph-long author biography underneath it:

Edward B. Bishop, born in 1838 in England, was an accomplished mathematician, writer, theologian, and closet occultist, as well as a professor at the esteemed University of Fancyton. He published twelve books, the last of which was Flatworld in 1884. After sentencing his square protagonist to a two-dimensional asylum for preaching of the existence of the third dimension, he himself succumbed to an ironically similar fate: three months after publication, he was committed to an asylum for insisting that two-dimensional alien invaders intended to conquer the Earth and were persecuting him for revealing their existence, a delusion he maintained until his death from sleep deprivation in 1886. His most enduring legacy is inventing the margarita glass, which he claimed came to him in a dream. 

Dipper hissed between his teeth. "Ouch."

####

"Never mind, don't worry about it," Bill said. "But no. I didn't like the book."

"You poor thing! All this time you've been homesick for the second dimension, but the only things humans talk about is the bad stuff!"

"Don't call me that."

"Do you want to talk about the non-depressy stuff instead? Like..." Mabel wracked her brain for something nice she'd read in the book. She winced. "Uh... I'm sure there's something. You could choose the topic?"

Bill didn't look directly at her. He just looked over all her drawings again. "Tell me why you want to know so badly."

It was basically the same question he'd asked earlier—what's with the third degree—but his tone was different. Mabel swallowed hard and repeated, "Because... I'm your friend. It's crazy that we've been friends for like a month and I barely know a-ny-thing about who you are or how you grew up! By now, I'd usually know about a friend's family, favorite subject, favorite animal, opinion on glitter, and biggest life dream! Plus all the stuff humans have in common—like, 'do you breathe?'"

This time, Bill didn't argue with her answer. (He could have called her a liar. A month ago, she had just been trying to find out what was wrong with him. But this version of the truth she'd made up was better.) "You already know I'm pro-glitter in all contexts and my life's work is to throw an eternal party. What else really matters?"

"Those are the two most important questions," Mabel said seriously. Tentatively, she asked, "Did you have glitter in the second dimension?" He'd already reassured her that they'd had color, but it was hard to imagine glitter in such a bleak world.

"Sure."

Mabel heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

She looked around at the morning's art production, pulled over the first drawing she'd done of her shapesona, and grabbed a bottle of glue to draw a thin line around the heart.

Bill watched as Mabel carefully sprinkled several separate colors of glitter on the line of glue, like a master chef adding a precise amount of spice to a gourmet recipe, to create a glitter rainbow gradient; and then he slowly sat up and leaned toward the table again. "So, who's this freak?"

Mabel gave him an exasperated look. She decided he'd meant "freak" neutrally; but she'd clearly labeled the heart "ME IN FLATWORLD," she thought it was pretty obvious who this freak was.

But Bill cheerfully went on, "He's the most hideously disfigured shape I've ever seen."

"Hey!"

"I'm not joking, it hurts to look at this guy. At least he's symmetrical, but woof."

"She's not a guy! She's supposed to be me in Flatworld," Mabel insisted. "She's a powerful lady and I think she's beautiful." She paused. "Can a heart be a girl?" Lines looked boring, but Flatworld said that girls were all lines and all other shapes were boys. (Or were they? When they'd talked at the mall, Bill had been very clear that he considered himself a triangle instead of male or female, which scuttled the "all polygons are male" concept. Maybe Edward Bishop Bishop had made that part up?)

"She can be anything she wants," Bill said firmly. "I don't see any gender cops around here, do you?"

Good point. "And when there's no cops around, anything's legal."

Bill laughed. "Hey, I like that."

"Grunkle Stan says it!"

"Wise man." Bill leaned forward further across the table and tapped a finger on the deep cleft at the top of the heart. "Personally, I'm more worried about that agonizing-looking birth defect. I'm surprised she survived past infancy!"

Mabel glared at him, but she supposed she couldn't argue. A heart was a pretty irregular shape. And according to Flatworld, almost all irregular shapes were executed in childhood or else imprisoned in adulthood, since they thought irregular shapes would grow up to be depraved, imbecilic criminals—

"Wait," Mabel said. "Wait. Last year, when I called you an isosceles freak—"

Bill cut in, "It was 'monster,' but go on!"

"Was that, like..." Mabel's voice dropped to a whisper, "a slur on Flatworld?"

Bill fought to keep his face straight as he decided how to respond. He went for the funniest answer. "Yes."

Mabel clapped her hands over her mouth and squeaked, "Nooo!"

"It's actually pretty impressive a human managed to come up with it!"

"I'M SORRYYY, augh I didn't know!"

Over her anguished whines, Bill went on, "It's just a good thing you didn't say 'scalene'! I would've had to wash your mouth out with drain cleaner!"

Mabel had pulled the collar of her sweater over her face. From within Sweater Town, she asked, "Was that the first thing I ever said to you?"

Bill choked back a laugh. "Yeah, it was."

She squealed in embarrassment and slid under the table.

"Heck of a first impression, star girl!"

"i'm sorryyy."

Bill reached under the table to pat the top of her head. "Ahhh, it was funny. Get up here." 

As she climbed back into her seat, Bill added, "I'm getting back at you now, I'm not done making fun of your medical miracle yet. You know what she'd look like as a human? A headless, neckless body with an eyeball shoved six inches down her esophagus." He paused thoughtfully. "Actually... that sounds kinda cute."

"Eww, Bill."

"It is, it's cute. Like a clumsy puppy with a neurological disorder! I guess that's how the hideous Miss Heart here must look to humans!"

Mabel looked over her art again, wondering if she should change her shapesona, considering Bill's reaction to it. 

So, maybe she was creating a freak. She didn't see any shape cops around here. She kept drawing. "I'd be fine," she said. "You like weird freaks! You'd keep me safe."

A stricken look crossed his face. He was momentarily silent as he watched Mabel start another picture. And then, as though he were only considering it for the first time, he said, "Yeah. I guess I would."

His gaze drifted to the wrinkled picture of Mabel's shapesona standing protectively in front of Bill. "Freaks can't afford to tear each other down."

####

(THIS is the chapter that's been giving me hell the last few weeks. Months. Last few months. I'm so glad to finally have it out, and I hope y'all enjoyed!! This chapter probably brings up a lot more questions than it actually answers—and completely different questions based on whether or not you've read Flatland lol—so I can't wait to hear what y'all think.)

[dailyadventureprompts]

Deity: Tergrid, God of Fright

"Terror is the natural state of a child, they know they are small, vunrable, glass fragile. It is only once we grow that we delude ourselves into thinking we are safe, that we are strong, that we have control over the world we live in. Show a grown man how little control he really has, and you will see the child he always was: pissreeking, repentant, and pleading for his mother. " - Gerheart, village executioner

A goddess for those who hold close to the light dreading the unknown or those who wander gleefully into the dark seeking it, Tergrid is a deity of imagined horrors and terrible omens.

Depicted as a young woman always bearing a lantern, myths speak of Tergrid's shadow as a monstrous, murderous thing with a will of its own. Unable to kill the goddess due to the light she carries, it vents it's directionless wrath on those who linger beyond the lantern's glow. This duality, as both as the victim of fear and the source of it defines the brightmaiden's worship; as she is both threat and saviour to those who draw her attention.

Adventure Hooks:

The party arrive at a country roadhouse at dusk, only to find the inhabitants have nailed shut every door and shutter as if preparing for a siege. They say some horrid murderous things are lurking just off the road, and as the light wanes they refuse to let the heroes inside. The roadhouse's residents are terrified and are willing to fight to keep the party out, half convinced the party are themselves the things they should be afraid of... which isn't to say there ISN'T anything else waiting for that door to open. After negoitating their way inside (or forcing the issue) the heroes discover the roadhouse residents were warned of the danger by a mysterious woman who passed through earlier, though none can remember exactly what she looked like.

A knight renowned for his fearless deeds wanders the street in a waking nightmare, seeing threats everywhere and lashing out at phantoms and passersby. Even after being subdued it’s clear he won’t awake, and many suspect interference from jealous rivals in the upcoming tourney. The knight’s meek squire asks the party to help investigate the causes and possible cures of her master’s madness, never suspecting that her suppressed resentment at his recklessness might’ve manifested as a curse.

In desperate need of answers, the party consults an oracle dedicated to Tergrid who has them undergo trials of fear and phantasm so that they might know the truth. Chiefest among these is battling in a dark cave full of shadow monsters, while flickering visions of the future are cast on the wall by the guttering lantern light. The longer they can endure, the more they will know, but that isn't likely to be long unless they fight harder than they ever have before.

Inspiration: Tergrid is a shameless lift from Magic the Gathering's Kaldheim setting, which I've never played but apparently keep returning to as a consistent well of inspiration.

Fear both as a mechanic and motif is something I think is underutilized in D&D which is odd considering it's a game about venturing out into the unknown to face potentially deadly challenges. Fear and risk are what our heroes must endure to experience the wonder and rewards on the other side of their journey. As such it makes sense for a goddess of fear to play a role in the thematic weave of the stories we end up telling.

Speaking in less lofty terms, I also think using the lantern as a symbol for being frightened fucks hard. It's a tiny, fragile, and temporary respite from an ocean of darkness and the threats it contains.

Worshippers: The lost and abandoned, Unseele Fey, Shadowcasters and other denizens of the shadowfell. There is also heavy overlap with the worship of the night goddess Nyx.

Signs: Nightmares, unnatural or living shadows,

Symbols: A Lantern, often surrounded by a circle of darkness.

Artsource

[cherrielatte]

genuine question do you even understand what a proshipper is ? like youre okay with people romanticizing pedophilia and shipping minors and adults ? you think thats okay?? GENUINE question.

Hello! Judging from the way you worded this - I'm gonna be honest: I don't think you know what proshipping is. I was very close to not answering this because it was sounding a bit in bad faith ( and this isn't the first time I've gotten belligerent asks on the same topic) But well, I decided to give it a shot and give benefit of the doubt.

 I know it's common ground to jump onto proshipping with the idea that it means you romanticize pedophilia, abuse, toxicity, etc. It's the typical high ground taken when people hear that dark fiction enjoyers exist. But that's not actually what it means. It just means that YOU, as an individual, understand that a drawing is not the same thing as human being. Written characters are not the same as human beings. Harassing REAL people over a non existent character because they put them into situations that make you uncomfortable says more about the harasser than the writer/artist. Proshipping is about taking personal responsibility for your experience online. Not long ago, the idea of a proshipper was just considered having fandom etiquette (ie: Don't like; Don't read type of tag lines. ) I'm a proshipper and there are plenty of things I don't like & make me uncomfortable. But I also understand that I can easily not engage. I can filter tags so I don't see it. I can block people that make that kind of content. I can refuse to click on something clearly labeled as the content I don't like. I can control what I see. And I can also understand that that if someone draws something I don't like it doesn't mean anything about them in real life nor what they enjoy in real life. Besides, a lot of people that consider themselves proshippers are victims of abuse or have had to endure traumatic events in their lives. Engaging in what you might consider dark fiction allows people to cope and navigate through complex emotion/trauma and express themselves in ways they are not allowed to or haven't allowed themselves to. I've seen some people say "I've been through trauma and I don't engage in proshipping." And okay, I'm happy for you. But not everyone copes the same way you do. And no one should be held to the same standard. If we were all carbon copies of each other, maybe I would understand that argument. But that's not the case. I should also mention, that it's become a bit standard for people to only excuse those that have been through trauma to make dark fiction. But only if they publicly acknowledge what kind of trauma they have endured. I am 100% against this way of thinking. I do not think it is anyone's right to demand an account of my or anyone's personal traumas just to validate the existence of certain piece of art. No one is entitled to anyone's abuse story. If a person is willing to share, because they want to, that's the personal decision of the individual. But look, much of the horror genre (movies, books, tv, etc) wouldn't exist if we put these high censorship rules onto art as a whole and unfortunately, I see this happening more and more these days like discussed in this post about someone's experience in publishing gothic horror.

Going back to an earlier point, you have to really understand that the characters are fake. 100% fake. If I ship Sora ( KH) and Ash (Pokemon) neither of them are going to be upset about it because they don't exist. If I draw them kissing, it is a drawing of anime looking characters kissing. That's all. They don't look anything like real human people. Wasting energy fighting over fictional characters is just that. Wasting time and energy. Who are you saving? Ash? Sora? They don't need help, because they aren't real. Fight for real people that actually exist. I have seen people outside of the Soriku fandom genuinely upset about people shipping Riku x Sora because they are underage! Mostly because they are both male but without fail, they always slap on the argument: "they are kids, you sicko!" But you know why they go to that? Because assuming the moral high ground wins over arguments quickly. People are eager to be superficially perceived as morally good. I have seen people ship Riku x Ansem SOD, which could fall into that age gap - problematic shipping you referred to in your ask. But you know what? I get it. I see people interpret their relationship as one of abuse, metaphorical SA, manipulation, etc. I completely understand and see that interpretation and where it stems from. And unfortunately, there are many people in fandom that have had this exact experience. Honestly, without me needing to ask anyone specifically, I KNOW there are people in fandom projecting their experiences onto Riku and Ansem as a means to replay it with a bit of actual control. And even if there are people who don't. I'm not going to ask, because it's none of my business. So again, as a proshipper I am completely in control of my online experience. I can block, mute, filter, and not engage with the things I don't like or things that trigger me. But as long as it is fiction, it remains as just that : Something I don't like between characters that dont exist. I don't have to harass, bully, nor threaten people over fiction. Of course, there are bad apples in every circle. But to me, whether someone is a bad person or not is expressed through action toward real people and the intentional harm done onto them, whether it be through inappropriate interactions, abuse of any kind, exposing personal information, harassing family/at work, or encouraging harm. Those are real actions on real people and engaging in these actions is what counts to me as markers of a bad person. Not someone drawing two fictional characters that haven't aged in the last 20 years kissing or having sex. 

[inkabelledesigns]

Belladonna Nightshade - Halloween Dark Fairy

Base Doll: G3 Twyla from Monster High Clothing Pattern: Dollightful's Asymmetrical Dress (read to the end, I have notes about this)

Happy Halloween everyone! Since becoming a doll customizer, my Halloween dolls are usually related to my favorite indie horror game, Bendy and the Ink Machine. However, seeing as I've completed two Bendy dolls already this year, I felt it was time to give myself a break and try something a bit different. My friends over in DollyAnna's Discord server wanted to do a collaboration, so we decided to all make some Dark Fairies for Halloween!

Belladonna Nightshade is a mischievous fae that loves to play tricks and tempt mortals. That said, she's easily bribed with a sweet treat or two, and will usually let you be if you have a little candy or pastry to give her. I haven't decided what I want to do with her yet in terms of a story, but there is a part of me that would love to have her in my Equinox story.

When you consider the fact that most of my other Halloween dolls are black and yellow, it's no surprise she ended up super colorful. XD Would you believe this is my first doll with rainbow hair? Yeah neither did I, but she is! Part of my style is having really colorful and vibrant dolls, it surprises a lot of people that I've never done a rainbow before, but honestly? I'm glad to have finally tackled one! I'm also glad to have worked with another G3. Twyla is very near and dear to my heart, and I was so psyched to work with her mold! You can't see it in any of these photos, but I used glow in the dark varnish on her eyes and neon markings, so that her eyes still glow like the original. I will say, this doll has a lot more acrylic paint than my others, just by the nature of I don't have any pencils in neon colors. It was nice to get the practice in, I feel more confident than I did before in my brush skills. It was also nice to have a doll with dark scleras for a change! I haven't done that since I made Dreamer, it's surprisingly fun to draw on!

I was inspired by a LOT of different things with this one, and I went back and forth on my concepts a lot. Black light skeleton make-up, butterflies, fairies with non-traditional wings, candy, jesters, these were all sources of inspiration, and I think most obviously of all, Dollightful herself. This wasn't intentional, but I ended up using a doll of one of her favorite characters, with a lot of saturated colors which we know she loves, and even her dress pattern! I've been wanting to make this garment for ages, and finally I had a reason to try it!

So those of you who know how this pattern works are probably asking "Kat, how did you make this fit a G3? This dress is supposed to fit a G1 Monster High doll!" Believe it or not, Requiem Arts has a method for easily adjusting G1 patterns to fit G3 bodies. It's as simple as scaling a pattern up to 104% and printing it that way. It's meant for her garments, but I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work for other doll patterns. So I tried it with Katherine's dress, and I'm happy to say it worked out just fine! I think I probably should have adjusted a bit more on the skirt though. This outfit is essentially two pieces, and the skirt with all the ruffles is a little tight around the booty, it could have used a little more sizing up. So if you own this pattern and want to try this yourself, do keep that in mind!

Do let me know what you think! I had so much fun working on Belladonna, she's so vibrant and fun, I wanna try more fairies like her someday. I also need to try using props more. I got these pumpkins and hay bales on sale, and it was fun using them to craft a little temporary set for photos.

[inkzectz]

these are more meta questions 4 your ask blog, so i thought i should ask them here, lol. is gordon in the story streaming the game and we're the chat? if characters answer our questions, is that gordon typing out our questions and asking the NPCs directly? also, finally, were there any pieces of media u were inspired by? (other than hlvrai and tma, lol)

Gordon isn’t much of a streamer in my AU, especially with how the game begins to affect him, the asks or ‘statements’ people send are not a live chat but Gordon begins to view it as one, I actually had ideas for as it progressed he begins to refer to the senders as “chat” bc it sort of acts like one.

The statement aspect (in regards to the asks) isn’t ment to be one that you think too hard on since that is just how I’ve chosen to incorporate asks into the storyline but it IS something that is part of the game, Gordon says so in the beginning, in tma occasional statements are actually messages directed to Jon and it’s kind of just that.

Gordon recieves papers with strange comments or questions and he just navigates the game.

When talking to the npcs he isn’t always ‘present’ so to say, occasionally it’s just the statement giver ‘talking’ to the npcs, the other members in the archives also have statements to fill out too, sometimes Gordon is present when it comes to asks that are more lore focused (or that are funnier with a second person there) but just general questions to the npcs they can answer on their own.

‘In universe’ I personally imagine that the statements would just appear as papers to them with the messages, they don’t really question it since that is how their world operates and what is normal

For now ;º)

I don’t know if this counts but vaguely DDLC? Just in terms of the visual novel style (where I got the idea for it to be a visual novel game) aside from the fact I already thought tma would have made a great VN game, but also in terms of theme of “this game is very much not what it seems” but that also just comes from combining hlvrai and tma, they are both very different but also pretty similar in a lot of aspects and for it to work it needs to be much more serious which means cranking up whatever of hlvrai could be considered ‘serious’.

So like for example the broken npcs, in tla:ai it’s portrayed in a more serious way which kind of draws back to the fucked up broken npc thing going on in ddlc unintentionally, a lot of the vague ddlc inspo is by accident of just trying to make being self aware a horror aspect 😭

I hope i explained that well enough ^_^

[starrvlight]

should i make a web toon??

chat should I make a webtoon?? I already have some story written out, it's kinda lie sbg?? It's not like taken from SBG I promise 😭 but it's the same genre??and I have not ppl to edit my art / anyone to help out with the comic CONSIDERING IM A MINOR (13-15)??I also don't consider myself good a drawing:p But I'll tell u about it and lmk if I should try to make it a comic??:D

it's about these kids (12-13) I KNOW IT'S YOUNG BUT WHATS A LIL TRAUMA GONNA DO?? And like (I'm still figuring this out 😔(ok nvm I'm just going to copy and paste I have a 2 starts so far starts so far))

starter one: (2nd one I made + still working on)

They use walkie talkies the communicate *FIFI RUNNING THRU THE HALLS OF HER SCHOOL* Hey- I'm Fiona or fifi- whatever u wanna call me. For the past few months I've been having this recurring dream, or simalar to that.. Cut to fifi panting, crying and bleeding a lot from the side of she stomach, running in a hellish realm from a multiple runners going to some massive treehouse and she climbs a ladder and axel rolls up the ladder, and fifi pressing a button and collapse shaking

Cut back to Fifi, running into her class "your late miss Weech." Fifi looks up "sorry Mr mordini" she mumbles

starter 2: (og one)

Fifi was looking thru her dad's stuff and saw some "fun" looking horror game that was shoved way way way in the back1-2 (axel and fifi) people are playing a game, then the game glitches and the game like sucks them in.they were playing some horror game where you had necklaces/ bracelets/earrings rings that they found then they had some type of power (but didn't know||powers:, water,fire,air,earth,flying, manipulate gravity,super speed, instant healing, able to shield Able to manipulate blood, shrink/grow is size, teleport abe to see into the future by a.little bit, lightning yk?) and so they kinda just walked around for a bit and then saw something glowing..it was a crimson shade of red..like blood.. axel grabbed it and looked at it then hesitantly but it on, then continued walking it was really dare,, they came across this neighborhood/ghost town and a whole bunch of houses were like decaying and they walked in, hoping to find stuff,they ended up finding some water, a backpack and a couple flashlights +batteries.. and a ring that had a dark green gem..then l of a sudden they hear EXTREMELY loud screeching and they remember it from the game they the began to run out the house but screeching got louder and louder to they ran the opposite way, but there was no way out so they had to kill the creature (it's a black creature that's completely black and has like a really open mouth andna head that's tilted back, a massive eye on their chest and in the same pllace on their back, really tall massive claws, they r called runners/screechers, then there are other ones that can fly at really high speeds r called flyers) they didn't know how so they just ran and ran, until axel fel...Fifi pulled axel and help him up..but it was too late and the monster lunged at them then the crouchd and covered themselves, then hears some running and then a loud screach,. They looks up and say a trio, one has black, really curly hair, one has a bit with bleached hair and one with browns hair and some hair dye, the one with h dyed hair has black goop on her hand she shirt, then the one with curly blkack hair ran to them

And I drew both comics a bit both have I think 3 panels :p

AND SORRY FOR RANDOM NAMES IN IT I CAN POST THE CHARACTER INTRODUCTION STUFF IF U WANT MORE INFO

ANDDD ANOTHING THINK IM WITTEWLIWLY DRAWING IN IBISPAINT 🤨 LIKE??

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

The Beginning of Babs and Helena's Homoerotic Dynamic 💖💜💙 (Huntress: Year One)

I absolutely adore Ivory Maddison's writing. I also love that Helena and Babs had a homoerotic thing going from the get-go! So I'll talk about both.

A young Barbara Gordon was the perfect foil to Helena. She's just as resolute and stubborn as Helena. They both stand at 5'11" and tenaciously establish themselves in male spaces. But she holds different ideals of justice, which will of course change over time. Babs is a more traditional superhero, concerned with a rather binary of justice; there're only good and bad actions. Good guys should be revered and bad guys aren't really worthy of respect. It's ironic that Helena protests Babs's toasting to Mandragora's death considering she's his killer. Helena has a complicated relationship with justice. She maintains her devotion to and faith in god but has found herself on a lonely quest for vengeance in a world where blood only cries for more blood. She's lost but who's to say that Babs isn't also?

On the note of foils, I love how differently they're drawn. Helena has darker hair, skin and clothes than Babs. And Babs wears her hair up, paints her nails, and wears a suit and shirt. Babs represents a status quo-upholding good-doer while Helena's vigilante crusade is shrouded in the history of horror and blood that she was born into.

"We get the most upset at others when they mirror what we hate about ourselves."

In what ways does Babs mirror Helena? She's a legal librarian and, as we know, she's Batgirl. She's committed to serving justice, albeit a possibly different type to Helena's. She's also pleased by the death of Mandragora, who Helena chose to kill. The reason Helena dismisses Babs as naïve is because Helena senses a sheen of hubris, dogma and even aimlessness around Barbara's actions and words. And Helena resentfully recognises these traits in herself and condescends Babs to compensate. And Babs sees through this too, to an extent, because she also became defensive for the same reasons.

Helena makes a crude joke and, humoured, Babs seems to think they could be friends. But unfortunately more similarities pop up. Not only is Babs a fellow American but she's a fellow Gothamite. Helena has to take a drink.

"...I'm increasingly favouring kevlar and body armor[.] I'm sure we'd have a lot in common."

I find Maddison hilarious. But also, it's kinda important that the humour comes from the dramatic irony of the scene. We know one's Huntress and one's Batgirl but they don't! We know how similar they really are while they're just learning it and they've not even scratched the surface. That's how you write an origin story, like wow!

Moreover, the uncanny familiarity they feel instantly ends up drawing them apart. Helena is scared to get to know Babs because it might force her to face herself. So she retreats, not like Babs would know anything about being a vigilante, right? That "ciao" is also an attempt at putting some distance between her and this (fellow) American. Babs on the other hand overcompensates and unintentionally pushes Helena away. No way this girl's like me, maybe she's more girlie-- I could try to act more girly. The "unlike you, us Italians are always going to funerals" line is super ironic considering that Babs lost both her biological parents to a car crash and that this story is set just months before Jason Todd dies.

Anyways, pretty homosexual, huh? :)

"Someone needs to teach you right from wrong..."

"Funny, I was just about to say that to you."

I love how fucking obsessed they are with each other. And Helena unconsciously reacts identically to how Babs did earlier: "not your best friend, apparently". We all know "friends" can't adequately really describe this.

Again, the conflict of hero vs antihero is central to their story. "[I'm] good. You're bad. End of story" says Babs; again we see her simple, more traditional ethos of heroism. However, as Helena said, we're "at the beginning of the story", not the end; justice is just more complicated than that. "Everyone thinks they're the good guys" vs "sometimes there really are good guys" reveals Helena's self-destructive tendency to self-isolate and look out only for herself. Babs's line foreshadows a truth Helena speaks later: "on the ground, you must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim". The fact that Helena wins this fight indicates an understanding of justice beyond that of the traditional hero's but a failure to grasp the importance of solidarity. It's telling that Catwoman watches the fight from the shadows. Helena later demonstrates her appreciate of the theme of solidarity Babs speaks of in her mission statement as she baptises herself as "The Huntress". Also these fights are the gayest things I've ever seen.

Huntress: Year One #4-6

[veliseraptor]

Hello ! I've read a lot of the posts you shared or wrote about horror, especially in reaction to "pearl-clutching" discourse against the whole genre.

It was very though provoking (thanks!) but I was wondering if/how you draw the distinction between that and, well, honest and "legitimate" bad review / negative analysis of some individual stories who happen to be horror ?

Oh, for sure. Of course there's legitimate criticisms to be made about individual horror works, or even about horror as a genre on the whole. I'm never going to claim that there isn't. While I do feel like there's a place for the "let people have fun" school of thought around media criticism, I don't think it should be a blanket smothering of all criticism - mostly, as with so many things, it is worth considering your time, place, and audience. For your own sake as well, I find.

I do think that sometimes the language of "criticizing" or "being critical" has become a handy mask for people to say whatever they want in some of the same (though less pernicious) way that people use "I'm just asking questions" to shut down discussion of misinformation and conspiracy theories. Again, #notallcriticism, much of it is good and beneficial and keeps things fresh (and me thinking), even the criticism I ultimately might end up disagreeing with. And at the same time, I do see the tendency popping up sometimes to use the idea of "legitimate criticism" as a way to shield a person from disagreement (the somewhat infamous "think critically about x" translating to "and you'll agree with me" comes to mind.)

As far as the how, well, it's certainly a little your mileage may vary - what I might read as an unfair review of a book I liked, for instance, someone else might read as a well-deserved ripping to shreds of a mediocre work, and it's certainly possible for neither of us to be "right" about which it is. Some of this - maybe even a lot of it - is a matter of perspective.

I guess I would think of two things that shape my perception of how someone is talking about a work or a genre, in general and in particular with horror:

1. Is the writer familiar with the genre? Do they have at least a passing familiarity with the conventions, tropes, and other narrative tics that tend to crop up? If not, are the criticisms they are making marked by that lack of knowledge (ime some of the discourse about the A Song of Ice and Fire falls victim to this, sometimes). I'm not saying that criticism is invalid coming from someone without genre knowledge, but I am saying that I'm more inclined to be skeptical of criticism that comes from someone who clearly dislikes the specific genre they're discussing, because it sometimes feels like a willful lack of curiosity and unwillingness to engage with a text/genre on its own terms.

> Addendum to this: is the writer familiar with the genre as it stands recently? Horror now looks rather different than horror fifty years ago, just for instance.

2. Is the argument or point they're making actually coherent? Is the analysis solid and grounded in at least some kind of evidence or source? (Is the author using screenshots of tweets in lieu of actually writing about the phenomenon they're discussing?) I can't always but I'd say I can usually at least recognize, even if I disagree, when someone is actually taking what they're engaging with seriously and when they're not (in terms of the work put in to convince me what they're saying is true, relevant, and important), and if they're not taking it seriously then why should I?

And one more, I guess, which feels obvious but sometimes on the internet isn't, because people love to have opinions (I get it! so do I!):

3. Has the writer actually read (or watched/played/whatever) what they're talking about? This ties in a little with point one but is slightly divergent, because someone can to an extent be familiar with a genre without having read it. But someone talking authoritatively about the problems with something they haven't actually had direct contact with, based purely on a set of cultural osmosis and related assumptions, is frustratingly common, and people will assume that they know what they're talking about from that alone and are qualified to make a sweeping judgment from that position. And I'm just not going to take criticism made from that perspective very seriously.

That's how I'd draw my lines, anyway. I don't claim to be an authority, certainly; I'm a gal on the internet with a big mouth and a lot of opinions. I think the important things here though are a. I certainly don't think that there's no such thing as legitimate criticism (in the negative sense) of horror works or horror as a genre, and b. I have particular standards for how I judge that criticism based on content and context.

I guess it's also worth noting, with this particular example, that the other question is "how much does this feel like it aligns with the present moral panic around dark or disturbing content in fiction?" and if the answer is "a lot" then I'm significantly more likely to dismiss it.

[electrozeistyking]

I just realized what "The Amalgamation" reminds me of. The Slayer form in Baldur's Gate 3

Funny that it somewhat resembles it given I had the idea for two particular DDs I made to fuse into one being that was a giant version of a similar form. Just less surgical and more "magical".

While I'm here I wanted to say the design for it is sick. Body horror is my jam so this "little" guy was quite cool to see. Curious if you're gonna do a fic with them, would absolutely be down to read it if you did. A lot of the fics I read don't really incorporate the body horror elements of MD and it makes me a little sad since it's one of the things that drew me to the show. But I imagine you're quite busy with the Ghost Drone AU so I don't really expect it.

Also I might take a crack at drawing The Amalgamation but don't expect it to be too good. I may be able to draw horrors beyond human comprehension but limbs STILL get me. Like, how does the hand attach to arm, why are fingers so round...WHO DECIDED NECKS SHOULD BE LIKE THAT?!

I also considered drawing Beanie with one of my OCs but...almost all of them should NOT be within 500 miles of her. Two of them are literally The Boogeyman (even if Erik wasn't at one point) and the other two are loyal DDs. Yen would be sweet though, so maybe some art with them would work but I think they'd be too distracted by N's hot single dad vibes.

idk I just love your art and I want to pay tribute to it in some way because it's so awesome and super well made. Love what you're doing and hope you do well because of it!

(also sorry for the long ask I just started thinking stuff I wanted to say and putting it down)

Pal. Buddy. I absolutely LOVE writing nightmarish/horror sequences, I just don't often get a chance to flex that ability. You better believe that I'm planning on writing something about the Amalgamation! I even have a co-writer to help me with it... heheheh.

Don't worry, nothing's actually written yet. Those "excerpts" I posted were literally just me writing short little stories on the concept, seeing as I wanted to get them out of my brain... though, I may actively include them when I actually write about the Amalgamation? Too soon to say....

Also hey, don't worry if your art looks "bad" or "good!" So long as you make it, I'll love it either way! And don't worry, I love the lengthy ask! It was a delight reading all of your thoughts. :3

[song-writer-melo-wrath]

Silly Game Time: Who are some of your favorite mechanical characters, be they robots, androids, cyborgs, or something else? And what do like about them?

OOOOH...

Well, first, gotta mention my man Data.

A lot of people has said that he is autism-coded in the way that he is presented, and in how other people react to him. And I kind of agree tbh. He's also just a sweetheart, and his bonds with the crew (especially Laforge), his cat Spot, and sometimes with people who are briefly onboard are so lovely.

I also feel I should mention Connor,

Because his arc has probably inspired so many OCs at this point. Bryan Dechart did such an excellent job playing him, and his growing bond with Hank is very well-written. I think it's honestly touching how it's often emotional bonds that show humanity.

Another I feel would be a crime not to mention,

Because between the iconic lines and the dynamic he has with John Connor, and the way it shapes his various decisions, how could I not? And yes I'm specifically talking Terminator 2 here. Though I will say he makes an EXCELLENT force of nature and presence of absolute horror in the first movie.

Then, of course, the sapphic community's favourite,

Because "Want You Gone" hurts me on a personal level, and I don't just mean because it's how GLaDOS says farewell. I relate to that song so much (and did a cover of it :D) and, in general, relate with much of her story. Of course, she's a sassy motherfucker who you can't help but love. But for how much Portal 2 is considered the inferior game, it really does make her story into one of self-discovery and complicated morality. I guess it just gets overshadowed by Oh hi. How are you holding up.

Next,

I MEAN. COME ON. This guy used to be, and honestly still is, one of my biggest fictional crushes. His charisma is magnetic, of course. His STORY being wrapped up by the connections he used to have being rekindled, resulting in him choosing to be a star for those who need one most, rather than a star for the most people possible???? Ugh, poetic cinema.

Speaking of stars,

[vibrating] I have so many headcanons when it comes to this one But more to the point, Star Dream is an absolute force of nature. Its boss fight is incredible, an absolute marvel of multiple types of play styles coming together. The themes? Slap.

Star Dream's draw, for me, is that its sentience is so…debatable. I'm on the side of “had sentience the whole time”, and more to the point, “based on how much Haltmann copied homework, it's possible he brought something back from the dead” but I dunno, I don't like arguing my case when it comes to the second. The point is, for many of things that it does, it's uncertain whether that's just part of its program, or if it's a sentient decision. Was Susie sent away because of something accidental, or was it Star Dream's intention? The fact that Haltmann became so focused on its creation after her disappearance, in my eyes, kind of implies the latter…

… It's also interesting that even without Haltmann giving it a voice via him-being-possessed, it only chooses to speak to Meta Knight.

Can you tell I have The Kirby Autism, is it noticeable, is it obvious—

Also I'm gonna put two of my OCs here, because self-indulgence is alive and well.

This is Palharine and Mayday! They're my favourites out of a group of robot/android characters I created about three years ago, and have finally taken the time to draw recently:

From left to right, you got Eodel Remidoros, Palharine, Mayday, and Ziah Hyperion. All very different interpretations of robotic.

Palharine and Mayday stand out to me due to their emotional states. They're kind of opposites, in that regard. Mayday is a very sensitive gal, who has been through a lot of pain, and is trying to become stronger so she can confidently say she has no doubt in who she is. Palharine, as far as they're aware, has no emotions. Which is interesting, since the other three all seem to, to some degree. Among the four, Palharine is also unique in that they're programmed to dream. Both of these things shape them a lot.

But these two have a very sweet bond, where they're both passionate about biology, especially botany. Mayday, in a training exercise, also nearly wipes the floor with Palharine. It's more touching than it sounds.

Also, Palharine's genderfluid and Maydays a trans woman, so those things just inherently spark joy for me, haha!

This has been, real robotic character hours.

[mdhwrites]

Another question for advice 👉👈

In a story, whats the difference between torture porn and tragedy? I hope it makes sense the question.

A LOT of this comes down essentially to tone. It's also admittedly a kind of subjective thing because what some people might see as overwrought might be genuinely appealing to others. There's also one more element: How is it framed?

This last one is kind of the only one that isn't going to be case by case and even that is iffy. See, the reason something might be labeled as torture porn isn't actually just that it's overdoing it on tragedy. The more correct label for that is melodrama, where you're just kind of shooting the moon when it comes to how awful things can get or overblown reactions. No, torture porn is put the way it is because of, well... Being akin to porn.

What is the difference between a PG-13 shower scene and an X rated one? Framing. In one, you focus on the narrative purpose of it, the character's thoughts, etc. like that. You're using it to advance elements of the overall work and not just for titilation. In an X rated shower scene though, it focuses on the body, lingers on the most erotic areas, has the person pose for the camera for the best angles and shots, regardless of if such behavior makes sense for the character, because the point is to provide titillation to the audience. It is meant to be the main attraction.

This is where the difference between a bad thing happening to someone and torture porn lies. When you find out some awful part of a character or something bad happens to them, it should make you more deeply sympathize with them. It should progress the plot. That is because tragedy like this is a narrative tool. However, if you look at say the Saw movies, there is technically a point to the self mutilation but much more of it is meant to be exciting and disturbing for the audience as part of the draw to the movie. We want to see how far these people will go in trying to survive because it's exciting and wild and that is part of why those movies get called torture porn. The torture is at least as much there for the sake of the audience as it is for the sake of the narrative, if not more.

This also extends to how things are labeled. I'm pretty sure I've heard someone label some runs of Spider-Man as essentially misery porn. Is it actually framing Peter's misery this way? Potentially not BUT going back to regular porn: If you're not getting off on this, what's the appeal? This is why this sort of labeling is used derisively. Oftentimes something being called this is just making up for a lack of story or compelling elements with big spectacle. Michael Bay's works come to mind for that and I'm pretty sure I've heard people give them similar titles to this because yeah, the point is more often about providing spectacle than it is a proper story.

BUT.

This is why I think you need to be aware of what you're going for. LOTS of people enjoy Michael Bay's movies. A lot of people feel a connection to Peter Parker's unending misery. The Saw movies are considered a horror movie staple for a reason. Even porn itself is enjoyed by many because hey, when the goal is to satisfy and entertain your audience, doing that in shallow but dramatic ways is not exactly a failure. In fact, it's a success. Is it best to manage this satisfaction while also providing deeper elements? Of course but if all you did was leave a dumb smile on someone's face and give them something memorable to think about in a positive manner...

For most entertainment, that is more than just success. That's the whole point. See you next tale.

======+++++======

The final paragraph is essentially why most critics will agree that a boring product is worse than a bad product. At least a bad one is unique enough to talk about and think about. A boring one will wash away in a week and just make you acutely aware of how you're wasting your precious time on this planet.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[elshells]

Welcome, Traveler!

Hello! Ella here, it's nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

I've only been on Tumblr/Writeblr for a couple of years, but I've been sharing stories online since 2018, and writing for fun even longer than that. Mainly, I dabble in science fiction, fantasy, horror, and everything in between. If you read or write within these genres, we'll get along great. And even if you don't, hit me up! I'm always looking for another good read, and I'm pretty easy to please.

I enjoy asks/tag games and am always looking for an excuse to talk about my beloved characters. Granted, it takes me forever and a day to respond to literally anything, but I'd love to get to know you and your WIPs!

If I'm not writing, I'll hop on to see what y'all are up to, and sometimes I'll chime in with whatever's on my mind. Usually late at night when I should be asleep. As one does. You know how it goes around here. And if I happen to say anything hilarious, there's a 60% chance it was unintentional. I rarely think I'm funny in real life.

The bottom line is, if you enjoy my WIPs or just wanna be friends, please don't be shy to reach out! I'm often afraid to make the first move, but no matter how I end up on your feed, I hope I can make you smile!

* * *

MORE ABOUT ME

—‌Currently pursuing a degree in English creative writing and gender sexuality, and race studies, with minors in publishing and printing arts and music performance. So, naturally, I can be a busy gal.

—‌My dream is to be a published author (likely going down the indie route). I also have aspirations to be an actor in community theatre and/or voiceover work; we'll see how that goes!

—‌I've been playing the flute for almost ten years, and am slowly picking up piano and guitar. Eventually I'd love to learn my way around a drum set as well, if I ever find the time, money, and discipline. Maybe I'll even write my own music one day, who knows?

—‌I love to swim, lift weights, and do yoga, and I rode horses for several years. Beyond that, I'm pretty much hopeless at sports, especially the ones that involve good depth perception and hand-eye coordination.

—‌Occasionally, I'll find the motivation to draw. I haven't been that dedicated to the doodles lately, so I've lost a lot of my mojo, but I hope to get back into it some day and maybe share some of my art!

—‌As a teenager, I volunteered at my local zoo and aquarium—‌and I would still love to go back one day—‌but for now, I work as a lifeguard and swim instructor.

—‌PFP is my current DND character, a tiefling bard named Enyo. If you're interested in learning more about her, check out this post (which includes a full-body artistic interpretation!)

—‌Like I mentioned before, I'm here to make friends! I'll talk to anyone about anything, as long as the conversation stays friendly, safe, and respectful. I won't tolerate hate in any form.

* * *

WIP MASTER LIST

If you enjoy a chapter, please consider letting me know by reblogging and leaving a comment! I welcome anything you have to say, so long as you're kind to me, yourself, and others. Useful and constructive criticism is always encouraged if you catch something I didn't, so feel free to share any feedback, opinions, or questions you have. I'm always looking to improve and I appreciate all the support I can get!

THE HARMONT HEROES SERIES —‌A fusion of science fiction and urban fantasy told through the dual POV of two sisters on opposite ends of society. This saga features mystery and intrigue, thrills and chills, and an array of LGBTQ+ characters. -BOOK ONE: Agent Ace -BOOK TWO: TBA -BOOK THREE: TBA -BOOK FOUR: TBA

EMBR OF THE EARTH (Standalone)—‌In the far, unknown future, the world is overrun by human survivors, robot scouts, and hostile, alienesque creatures that came from nowhere. A ragtag group of teens choose to leave the safety of their satellite and return to Earth, determined to discover what happened to planet and if there's a way to save it. -ON INDEFINITE HIATUS -The current draft is still available on Wattpad; read it here.

ENCORE (Standalone) —‌An eighteen-year-old girl is rescued from a deserted island as the lone survivor with an unbelievable story. Twelve years later, the girl, now a struggling musician who's still tortured by the past, is given an opportunity to go back in time to save the others. But with such high stakes to succeed, the price may be too much to pay. -A twist on the Final Girl trope in classic horror. -COMING TO TUMBLR SOON! Get started with the first five chapters here.

POETRY

I'm not much of a poet, but I've been known to dabble. Take a look!

Water Nymphs

Witches

Alley Cat

Sea Urchin

Homebody

Puhpowee

* * *

WHERE ELSE YOU CAN FIND ME

Wattpad: @ persephonehale

AO3: @ elshells *In the meantime, thanks for saying hi!*

[video-game-kids-tournament]

MEET YOUR CONTESTANTS!

Name: Peri

Age: “Around 10 years old (not explicitly said in game, but is most definitely the youngest)”

Gender + pronouns + sexuality: Female, she/her, + asexual

Video Game: NeverHome: Hall of Apathy

Backstory: “just a young girl who ended up trapped in a strange, hostile world where she (and the others trapped) must solve puzzles and overcome monsters to make it out !! (not 100% sure yet!! the game releases in chapters so we haven't seen everything yet!!)”

• “To avoid spoilers for the game I will be able to tell you that Peri was captured by monsters!! She, like the game's protagonist, are now in a very strange and dangerous world. Though, Peri is imprisoned by the monsters before the protagonist finds her! It's a very scary time…”

• “Like the other human characters in NeverHome, Peri's ended up in an alternate world that's filled with abstract monsters and even more abstract puzzles. Unlike the rest of the cast, though, Peri can't remember her past at all. She's the first recruitable party member in the game, and the player character rescues her from a locked jail cell early on. She and the player character develop a sibling-like relationship. She's enigmatic and whimsical, and while she's almost always smiling and acting silly, it's hard to get a read on what exactly she's thinking. She acts a bit younger than she looks and sees this alternate world in a much more exciting and mysterious lens than the others do. Peri's goal throughout the game is to try to make everyone happy, mainly by helping the others search for a way home. She gets frustrated when she can't solve puzzles or feels like dead weight. When things become more dangerous, Peri would rather have everyone stay in the alternate world than risk their lives looking for a way out.”

Why should they win the tournament?: “shes the first person our protagonist meets!! we love our travel buddies when we're put in horror situations, don't we? while she was captured and locked up by a monster, she's still a peppy young girl who tries to see the optimism in her every path as best as she could! she has a scene drawing with the protagonist and its very cute :] for spoiler reasons this is all ill say !! however, i will say im very fond of neverhome: hall of apathy as it's a very charming indie game !! the music, art, and story is all made by its one creator and there's soooo much love in it, and im hoping to get more people to know about it besides my friends and i :Dalso she has a theme !! i linked them here :>”

https://catonatrain.tumblr.com/post/715239806626627584/hi-everyone-as-only-a-handful-of-people-in-the

• “This is a representative from a very VERY small and niche indie game that's still in development RIGHT NOW!!!! I wanna throw a bone for the little guys (pun intended) in this tournament, and I think Peri definitely has what it takes to go far! Especially because in the game (to not spoil anything), she does have a very interesting character arc!! And like cmon shes a 10 year old trying to survive against monsters shes going through so much…”

• “I may be biased considering that I wrote this character, but I think it would be very cool for Peri to win the tournament. Good things don't ever really come her way in the game, so she should at least be able to win somewhere.”

[gardensandtaverns]

Telling a Story Through Gaming: Making an Immersive Experience

I know it’s been a couple days since I updated on Bookwyrm’s Vault, and if I’m being entirely honest it’s because my other job wiped me out and then I spent all day today traveling, so there’s been no movement on that front over the last three days. However, I did say that I would hopefully be sharing some more general-use advice and other projects along the way, so for today I will be tapping into the reasons and people that drove my ambition to do this - hopefully to the benefit of others with similar interests.

I believe I’ve said before that I’ve spent the last 5 years of my life as a perma-DM - in fact it’s how I made friends in college and I was a board member of my college’s tabletop games club. With 5 years of running games, I tended to have no fewer than 2 games I was running at any given time, with each campaign being hosted weekly for anywhere between 4 months and 2 years. Some games went well, others fell apart, and some were just meant to be short, it was as much a creative outlet as it was a social event for me. I suppose that brings me to my first and largest piece of advice for anyone interested in making more than just a game, but an experience: Forget yourself.

Now this doesn’t mean disregard yourself, after all it is your creativity, passion, and drive that will ultimately make your game - it’s your product and you should be proud of it. But when you make a truly immersive experience, like a D&D campaign or a sandbox game, you need to realize that your players, who are given nearly unlimited ability to interact with your world, will inadvertently act in a way you don’t consider, intend, or sympathize with. Similarly, there may be things that they simply don’t care or think about as much as you do. To this second point, I encourage anyone who loves internet lore videos to interact with Polygon’s Skyrim Book Report (link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVdTZhmsGsU) hosted by the marvelous Brian David Gilbert.

What I mean to say in this is that you are creating a product that you are passionate about. So many people will make their first game as something they would want to play. This is true of other creative fields as well: animation, music, fiction... and the truth that you will have to accept is that what you wish to experience may be too niche, or complex, or tailored to your personal experience to gain traction or interest. In the case of me drawing from experience as a Game Master, I will call this player buy-in.

Buy-in makes or breaks an experience for your consumer. If your magic system is endlessly complex, a player looking for a simple power fantasy to escape the stress of a desk job may quickly discard it to collect dust. If your zombie game turns out to be a settlement managing game with an external and seldom-addressed threat of zombies, you’ll likely lose the interest of the Walking Dead crowd who are interested in the nomadic wasteland survival aspect of the genre. What’s worse is falsely advertising, or poorly portraying, your product to people potentially interested can cause lasting harm in the trust they have in your later products.

Not only this, but buy-in will impact the feedback you get from your consumers. The makers of Until Dawn no doubt put a lot of effort and energy into the photorealistic environments and occult horror of their wendigo models, but a comment praising the “good graphics” will not mean nearly as much as the feedback from a player who plays horror games to be scared, who “spent the last four hours on the edge of my seat, looking over my shoulder in my dark game room”. It’s the feedback that appreciates the spirit of your product that not only tells you what you did right, instead of just well, but also gives you the energy, motivation, and validation to keep doing it.

Tomorrow I will talk about my favorite experiences from TTRPGs as an invested player versus as a Game Master with invested players, and the world of difference it makes. If people like these little advice posts, I’ll be happy to continue them. It makes for a good fallback when I hit roadblock or am taking breaks for work-heavy periods. Hopefully on Tuesday I will have some progress to report on the Bookwyrm’s Vault, one way or another.

[lacunafiction]

Hello! First off I'd like to thank you for writing such an intriguing story and being such a kind and lovely person. I have to say that your IF had me hooked from the beginning, this brand of suspense and thriller is exactly what I wished to read in an IF and it took me this long to find one that strikes the perfect balance between interpersonal relationships and horror that slowly sinks its claw deeper into the story, it was honestly delightful to read the MCs inner turmoil being plagued by nightmares and their past experiences in the town. The town, my God, what a lovely little secretive place it is, I love the feeling of unease and how far removed it is from civilization. It feels like it's own, weird bubble and I quite enjoy this feeling of being...contained. The ROs are all lovely, tho admittedly I've yet to start a route for anyone besides B (who I'd die for btw) but can I say how smitten I am with the waiter and ??? (and the really ominous similarity they seem to have, or maybe it's just me drawing hasty conclusions but I swear some of the things W says just makes me want to take apart every previous conversation and decypher it's true meaning.) what I meant to say is W is having a very easy time monopolizing my MCs attention whenever they pop up, it's a bit unnerving how much power they seem to hold. Will they get a more permanent role in the 2nd book? Again thank you for creating such a lovely IF, I'll be happy to support you in the future. (and might as well join patron to sate my craving for romance and tidbits about your world.)

Hello Anon,

Thank you for this kind ask, but also for taking the time to connect with Fernweh! 🌲 Honestly, what you typed about striking that balance is all that I could have hoped for--an eeriness that creeps in, but you as a reader still enjoy developing relationships and discovering more.

All of these kind B-mancers willing to die for B would break them. (I feel like most of you know that they feel the exact same way. Hmm.)

Picking apart what the W says is a great way to get a better read on them because they are extremely deliberate with what they say. 👀

The W features in the Patreon Valentine's content 💘; I'll share the next Content Schedule soon, but B and W should be up first. (There will be 3 side stories in February and then three in March to account for the 6 romance routes.) The W’s bonus writing became one of the longest, possibly because I've been eagerly anticipating their reveal. I'm glad you're intrigued by them! Also, they will be getting a more prominent role in Book Two, including learning more about them and whom they may be close to within Fernweh. Your MC will naturally have to make some degree of effort to trigger even more scenes with them; they like it like that. ��

It's truly an honor to share TFS with you all and thank you for considering becoming a patron. :D