#this is a self portrait. I think it's pretty spot-on except for the fact that I'm probably the least scary looking person in the world XD

[elkian]

big same

After all, Inspekta is so sweet, and cute, and friendly, and helpful! You trust your good pal Inspekta, don't you, Godpoke? Look at how silly and whimsical he is! Check out those cartoony speech patterns! He's just a harmless fella who needs a trustworthy deputy. It's a big job, but he trusts you to do it!

Doesn't feel good to be special? For a god to tell you that you're special?

I was, and I mean this sincerely, utterly fooled. I took in the front and read it as his real face for so long. Only once he started talking about wanting to be special and being unappreciated did the red flags start to catch my eye.

(I think even if I were allistic I'd still be Oblivious Dork Inc., but yeah.)

Inspketa being so cute is really an amazing ploy - all the Bizzys are, but he's the cutestest. And it's weaponized, but it took me almost the whole game to realize that.

Inspekta being the cutest is a red flag (dunno if it's intended, but Mina is sort of a parallel - extremely cute, and grips people so hard she destroys them). NO other god, or even character, is as cute as him. No one has those super duper sparkly eyes, no one does so many cutesy poses. And if you go back and replay or review after the reveal, you can spot the timing of cute faces and poses lining up with some extremely sus behavior and lines. It's incredible character writing and acting.

In the artbook, it's mentioned that he's visually inspired in part by Charlotte from Madoka Magica - a disarmingly cute character who bites the gunslinger's head off before anyone realizes the danger. Charlotte expanding to her full form and attacking is when the show gets serious. Inspekta doing so is the same.

Anyways, great game. I highly recommend replaying or reviewing yourself - it's incredible to see how the foreshadowing is folded in so seemlessly, enough for alert players to catch but still subtle until it hits you square in the face.

EDIT: Meant to mention, we see Inspekta's human form at the end and it's very interesting how the two bodies differ. The similarity is clear, but Hector is normal-guy cute. Inspekta is cartoony cute, the absolute cutest. You can read some self-esteem issues into his form, especially contrasted with King's godmode (though as mentioned she was already heavily deified so she was already most of the way there).

Hector is a normal-looking fellow. He's of average height insofar as we can tell in the style - a little taller than a standard Bizzyboy. His hair is a bit frizzy, his face is a bit fuzzy, and his body is a bit chubby.

Inspekta is a tall, thin figure who gets taller as time goes on. He doesn't have coke-bottle lenses; he has big ol' sparkly eyes. His hair is a smooth, wavy mass. The man is his own gijinka - his idealized anime self portrait. His cuteness isn't incidental - it's not clear how much a god's body changes over time, if at all, so it's not unreasonable to assume he mostly looked like this on Ascension.

(And someone else said it better than me but the fact that his coat is full of hands? There's nothing in there (during the finale) except hands? He's empty and grasping, huge yet hollow. He doesn't even have arms, just hands. Bauhauzzo is the same, but he's far less active, his hands coming to balance and rest at the sides of his broad body. Inspekta's hands disappear in The God Complex unless he's actively scrolling - like he doesn't want you to see them.

His tail seems natural in human form, yet taped on in godmode. His flexibility is unnatural and used to unsettling effect as he literally bends over backwards to convince you.

Inspekta's form is artificial from the word go, and it honestly is pretty tragic.)

A note on Great God Grove's core story (as in, MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW) and me, specifically:

An important reminder I got from playing Great God Grove is that I am susceptible to propaganda.

It's been argued that everyone is to some extent, but I don't know nearly enough about the subject to comment.

It's interesting watching LPs where the chat goes 'huh that's sus' about parts I blithely blitzed through. I've mentioned before that I had incorrect assertions of Bauhauzzo's personality; watching these LPs, I realize it's because almost all of the information I went in with came from a suspect source. The God Awards is a masterpiece of misinformation that completely went over my head the first time. I was going 'haha LimboLane is doing puppet videos again' and chuckling over how the BizzyBoys crammed Inspekta into Miss M's place, and was so accepting of the whimsy that I missed some red flags.

I thought the post-Milldread fight was odd - especially when Inspekta claimed he couldn't stop them because they wouldn't listen to him. The Bizzys are so excitable that it is plausible they might not listen... but he's supposed to be the God of Leadership.

The sword statues are weird and there's definitely an oversaturation of Inspekta merch in Hobbyhoo, but I genuinely didn't get a real clue until BuzzHuzz. And watching other people play, I'm catching all kinds of foreshadowing - Inspekta claiming to have intercepted Click Clack's letter, while Click Clack says Inspekta delivered it! The fact that Inspekta didn't receive a cruel 'King' letter of his own! And so much more! The game is absolutely rife with foreshadowing, but between the whimsy that's key to both LimboLane games I've played, the goofiness of the BizzyBoys, and how harmless and cute they seem for a while - that weaponized incompetence - that it took me, if not by surprise, then at least a really damn long time to truly catch on.

Something definitely feels weird by the time you reach Hobbyhoo, but I was on the fence - and it took me longer to be sure whether it was Inspekta or Capochin who'd initiated the whole thing.

This is far from the first time I've missed a hidden message or direction of a story until a major plot twist or outright revisiting it years later. It doesn't surprise me at all. But it is a good reminder. The Bizzyboys and Inspekta work as the villains they are because they are so adorable, and tiny, and harmless, and clueless! They're just lil guys! How can you be so mean! And that is a genuine risk in the real world, where truly nasty movements are shrouded behind absurdity and Disney-cuteness. Rick Brick referencing "family values" was as unsubtle as his namesake to the face.

[jackgoodfellow]

[WIP]

I need to make a Facebook post soon to update my friends and family on where I'm at in terms of my general wellbeing. I have been very isolated, and while I am getting better, I at least want my friends to know that I have ghosted them due to severe illness rather than a lack of love.

For motivation, I told myself i could make some art to go with it, but uhhh... I think maybe it is too scary for Facebook? 😅 But then again, it is both eye-catching and accurate, even if it doesn't incorporate the kind of righteous rage and feral joy I sometimes find in survival. But that's an art project for another day.

This was basically DIY art therapy. Maybe someday I'll post all the paintings I made when I was in art therapy in IOP! I have tried a lot of different therapies, and art therapy is in my top 3 "therapies that actually work on me." I hope those paintings haven't warped too much in storage...

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

always thought about this, what information do you think the kids were excluding from their records? like ptsd anxiety etc manifests itself in many ways not only in nightmares but through bad coping mechanisms maturing faster etc which wasnt realistically shown as it’s a kids book, and i’ve always wondered if they would leave out anything like that

Ehh, we’ll agree to disagree about the depiction of post-traumatic stress in the books, because it’s always seemed pretty dang realistic to me.  A few that stand out:

In the opening of #19, Cassie gives a brutally spot-on description of anhedonia: she feels little to no interest in the future, doesn’t enjoy activities like she used to, and struggles even to feel connections to her parents or her horse Nutmeg.

Marco has multiple moments in #5 and #15 with just knowing, whether he likes it or not, that his personality is changing as a result of the war and that all of his friends are going through the same thing.  In #5 he’s got a whole meditation about how it’s only a matter of time before the four human Animorphs can’t maintain functioning enough to go to school.  In #15 he asks Jake (knowing he won’t get a real answer) whether the damage they’ve survived is already irreparable.

In #34, Cassie nearly attacks Jara, because she assumes that any stranger in her parents’ barn must be a threat.

#54 states outright that Jake is dealing with clinical depression, and tells us that he has a trauma-induced flashback while trying to testify at Visser Three’s trial.

Rachel body-slams a girl into a table for bumping into her in #5, and stabs a knife through a different girl’s shirt sleeve in #32 after the other girl says something rude.  Rachel herself recognizes that she’s always had a temper, but also that she’s struggling more and more with uncontrollable rage.

Tobias expresses apathy about his own death in #41 and #43, and his struggle against intrusive cognitions is a major part of #43.  It’s not so much full suicidal ideation (like in #3) as it is reckless and self-destructive behavior.

The kids also each have their own personal NOPE morphs as a direct result of individual experience: Cassie says “We don’t morph ants anymore because they scared all of us, but mostly Marco... We don’t ever talk about morphing termites anymore because of my problems with them. Why is this [not morphing fly for Jake’s sake] any different?” (#16).  Later we learn that Rachel’s NOPE morph is mole, Tobias’s is whale, and Ax’s is anything blind like yeerk.  With the partial exceptions of Tobias and Ax, these are the direct result of past bad experiences.

Jake’s, Marco’s, and Cassie’s grades all drop way off during the war, and Tobias mentions that they all become a lot less good at focusing in class (#23, #49).

The human Animorphs all lose friendships over the series, to the point where Jake doesn’t know the names of several classmates who know him in #29 and #33.  Rachel mentions that she hasn’t spoken to Melissa Chapman in months as of #49.

As far as “bad coping mechanisms” go, I’d like to mention Tobias preferring to starve to death over inconveniencing anyone (#23), Ax desperately latching onto authority figures in a way that verges on regression (#8, #18), Jake retreating to his childhood bedroom and straight-up not leaving it for months at a time after the war (#54), Rachel blowing up at Jordan over minor slights and feeling like a terrible person afterward (#12, #22), Cassie being apathetic about her own near-miss with nothlitization because she doesn’t think her own continued survival is all that great (#9), and Marco manipulating his parents into getting back together because he’s sick of having to parent his own dad for all of those years (#45).

Anyway: I’m not that kind of psychologist, but that still seems to be a fairly comprehensive portrait of childhood trauma.  It’s true the series doesn’t use terms like anhedonia, hypervigilance, depersonalization, intrusive cognition, social withdrawal, or maladaptive avoidance.  However, all of that is still in the series, and I didn’t list anywhere close to all of the examples.

One other thing I’d mention: fans have discussed how ongoing research on wolves and whales has later rendered major parts of the series inaccurate.  The same is true of research on humans.  If you look at the DSM-IV (1994) vs. DSM-5 (2013) entries for PTSD, differences leap out — most obviously that it’s not even classified as the same type of disorder.  So anything you’re expecting to see about trauma but not spotting in Animorphs might also be an effect of the fact that trauma research has also come a long way in the quarter-century since the series began.

[svchengss]

hey barista! | l.dh

summary | befriending the barista from your local cafe doesn’t seem too bad

pairing | lee donghyuck x fem!reader ft. jaemin who’s a rlly cute side character in this :(

genre | fluff, angst, slight humour (?)

warnings | a kiss?? i don’t think there’s any but if i missed anything do lmk !!

word count | 3k+

s. tg | @hyuckefi [my apologies since i didn’t release a proper teaser for this 🙏🏻]

author’s note | this is my first fic exceeding 1k words so if u enjoyed reading this, please leave some feedbacks !! rb’s are also appreciated :D ALSO I SUCK AT SUMMARIES LMAO PLS IGNORE THAT

just another day of working at palm coffee, the same old routine. cleaning the countertop and tables before opening up the cafe, prepping the ingredients - more for top favourites! - and examining the machines to make sure they’re working properly. that’s some of hyuck’s daily routines as a barista. he didn’t mind them though, he loved his job. he couldn’t specify the reason why but all these tasks are genuinely interesting to him.

seeing you drop by the cafe is a normal occurrence for him. since you are a regular customer after all, the rest of the staff already know you well. heck, they’re even good friends with you. jaemin hangs out with you more than he does despite being jaemin’s childhood friend. except for him, he doesn’t really know why. he’s not really shy, considering the fact that he’s a social butterfly. he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything to you, the only times he did so was to take your orders when the rest of the workers were busy in the store.

upon hearing the doorbell chime which signals a new customer entering the cafe, hyuck blurted out the usual line. “hello, welcome to palm coffee! how can i help-“, looking up from the cash register only to find you in a disheveled state. “-you?” he eyes you up and down, noting how a few strands of your hair were out of place, the nude lipstick smeared on the left corner of your mouth and your outfit looks really rushed. 

“sorry, what was your name again, hyuck right?” you quickly glanced at the nametag hanging nicely on his apron. “i’m in a rush right now, can i get a,” you scanned over the menu behind him, “uh, white coffee, please?”. 

“that will be six dollars. you can use the restroom in the meantime to, you know, touch up your makeup and stuff,” he takes the bills from your hand, putting them in the machine in front of him before flashing you with that warm smile of his. you wished him a quick thanks before disappearing into the back of the place.

now that was embarrassing.

your eyes scanned over the hall to find your friend before hearing her shout your name from across. damn, why does she have to be so loud? stares were directed towards you as you walked up the stairs to your designated seat. all the chatter going on in the lecture hall became quiet as soon as your professor placed her things on the desk, which means class has started. 

after hearing a two-hour lecture and writing some notes - where suddenly song lyrics and scribbles appear - the words you’ve been waiting to hear finally echoed through the speakers. 

“class is dismissed, thank you everyone for listening,” mrs. hui’s voice later being flushed out by the buzzing voices of the students walking out the hall, determined to finish their own activities. you stuffed your ipad and papers into your light yellow jansport backpack before going out to meet vic who’s waiting for you outside. 

“i’m exhausted, what did she even teach just now?” vic sighed to her heart’s content. you can’t blame her, today’s topic was quite complicated. circuits analysis or something? you can’t really wrap your head around it, your brain being stuffed with all the information. vic kept on ranting  about the problems she faced from the moment she woke up, making you giggle at some comments she made. 

“wait for me, i’m almost done,” he folded his apron neatly before shoving it into the drawer and grabbing his bag from the counter to join jaemin, who’s waiting at the front door with the keycard. hyuck accepted jaemin’s request to help him with some shopping for his sister’s birthday party next week. obviously, the rest of the staff were also invited. 

jaemin divided the shopping list into two, allowing hyuck to find the rest of the things with ease.

“now where are the streamers…” he muttered out loud enough for himself to hear, crouching down to browse through the party decorations on the shelf. or he thought so, as you could hear him sighing clearly in dire need of the certain decoration, that you decided to help him out. 

“um, hyuck? i think the party streamers are in the aisle beside this one? you look a bit troubled there,” you chuckled lightly. the heat flushed to his cheeks, feeling dumbfounded. 

“really? uh, thank you for the help,” he gave you a small grin that could hardly be seen if you didn’t spot the corner of his lips. and with that, he’s long gone with his shopping basket.

you are fond of the atmosphere you’re in right now. the decorations left you in awe - white and pink silk hanging from the wall with silver letter balloons spelling out happy birthday stitched onto them. you can see jaemin’s sister, eun-ji, being carried out of her room with a small flowy white dress and wearing a golden bow on her head, her brunette hair being tied into ponytails. the na family really adore their youngest girl.

meanwhile, there are only a couple of adults your age attending the party -  jaemin’s co-workers, some of his other friends which you aren’t familiar with and hyuck. he looked rather chill, with an oversized beige sweater and white jeans to suit the party’s theme. you’re not quite bad as well, your hair combed nicely and kept neat with a headband, a white sundress with strawberry patterns on it fit nicely on your figure, complemented with a heart-locket necklace placed on your collarbones. before reaching jaemin’s house, you made sure to drop by a local store to get some gifts for eun-ji. she’s a very well-mannered kid which made you adore her very much.

“y/n? very glad to see you here,” hyuck said as he approached you, offering you a plate of cake which he cut.

“i could say the same to you too, mr. lee,” you let out a soft laugh. he made sure to keep a mental note over how pretty you looked today.

“y/n, hyuck! glad you two broke the ice, did you know how hurt i was seeing you two act like strangers whenever y/n came by the cafe?” jaemin enveloping you into a small hug before fake pouting. you can only laugh at the fake debate the two guys in front of you were having. after conversing with hyuck and jaemin for quite some time, you realised that he’s a cool person to talk to, where all this time, you thought he hated you for some reason. before leaving, you made sure to thank mrs. na for hosting the party and off you went home. 

following the previous encounters, hyuck felt much more comfortable around you - even hanging out with you during his shift where you would do your assignments at the cafe he’s working at. every now and then, he would also invite you to hang out with him and jaemin. however, what he didn’t realise was how he slowly pent up feelings - romantically. 

ding dong!

he pressed on the doorbell button with a box of doughnuts in his left hand. the three of you were supposed to be having a movie night, but jaemin got caught up with his groupwork which leaves the two of you alone. 

“hey hyuck! come in,” you gestured, arranging the cushions on your sofa to make it look more organized. the interior of your rented apartment is calming, the light grey walls suiting the navy blue sofa and furniture with darker undertones. the walls are also not left empty, with modern art portraits hanging from it. 

“i brought donuts, your favourite, right?” he opened the box, placing it on the coffee table while you set up the television. you wished him a quick thank you before grabbing two canned drinks from the refrigerator, handing one to him and pressing play on the remote control. you two weren’t quiet throughout the whole movie, with snarky comments on how hot the actors were or how stupid they were being were made. 

he didn’t know you were sleepy though as all of a sudden, he could feel the weight of your head on top of his shoulder. it was a rather awkward situation as he didn’t move at all so you could sleep comfortably. before long, he joined you and dozed off to wonderland. the next morning, you were more than embarrassed to find yourself cuddling up to him, with the next movie still playing on the screen.

seeing your figure outside the front door made hyuck more excited to greet you today. after making a quick order for a green tea latte, you fished out your purse from your handbag, feeling frantic if you’ve lost it outside. luckily, you were the only customer in line as the rest of them were already seated and carrying out their own businesses.

“sorry, but i think this might be yours,” you turned around to find a tall-looking guy handing out your black purse. a wave of relief washed over your soul, thanking the latter profusely.

“mind if i buy you a drink? i hate feeling like i owe someone,” you offered, which he gladly accepted. 

“i’d like a double espresso, please,” he kept his hands into his pockets. 

“and your name, sir?” hyuck looked mildly bothered.

“yukhei,” he ran his slightly blonde hair through the slender fingers. hyuck hated how cocky he looked, feeling more annoyed than ever over the scene that was played in front of him just now. he hated how yukhei looked at you. 

why should he get jealous? he’s just a mere friend to you, that’s all. you have to stop overreacting, hyuck. 

those words kept running through his mind all day.

“dude, are you okay? you looked-” jaemin opened the staff room, interrupting him from the self-talk he was having, “-distracted,” finishing up his sentence. 

“nope, i’m just fine,” he said, bringing the honey smile back onto his face. jaemin nodded before disappearing back to the front to serve the customers. 

stop being so jealous, hyuck. you’re just a friend. not more, not less. 

“jaemin, how do you know if you like someone?” that question is kind of shocking to him, especially if it’s coming from hyuck. of course, he’s had a crush before but it was during middle school. just a silly, little crush. growing up, he’s never had one - not even in high school.

“you’ve asked the right person,” jaemin managed to do his obnoxious voice, even while driving the car. he’s right, he is the matchmaker of the friend group, just how many relationships worked out because of him? eyes still focused on the road - he’s a responsible driver of course, he began to explain the feeling to hyuck, making his points loud and clear.

“first of all, you start feeling a little too happy whenever you’re around them. and no, this is not the oh-we’re-best-friends-forever type of happy, it’s the i’ll-make-you-the-happiest-person-on-earth one. not to forget, you will also experience some kind of turbulence in your heart, expect them to be jumping around a bit. or a lot, whichever suits you the best.

you also tend to feel nervous around that person. like, stuttering your words in obvious or non-obvious ways, feeling faster heartbeats than usual, you name it. oh! if you’ve ever felt jealous whenever they are around someone else, i mean, in affectionate ways, you might have one. however, my tip is for you not to act out of your mind. you don’t want to ruin whatever relationship you have currently, do you?” even when driving, he still managed to deliver his points with full precision and accuracy. 

nodding his head, hyuck took some mental notes to be thought through when he gets home. 

hyuck stared at you, whose figure is snoring soundly on his lap. he assumed you must be feeling exhausted, mid-terms just ended after all. while threading his fingers through your hair, he remembered what jaemin said to him weeks earlier.

1. being happy around them

like jaemin said, it is normal to be happy around your friends. but being with you, it kind of gave more joy for him. not to mention that he started to catch himself smiling over your texts and being reminded of you over small things - your favorite donut topping, the name of that one stray puppy you gave. 

2. feeling nervous around them

his heart would beat a lot faster whenever you get closer towards him, whether accidentally or to mess with him. 

3. getting jealous over someone else

he shouldn’t be jealous of how yukhei looked at you. but he seriously can’t help it. and the way he’s always there during your hangouts. he doesn’t care if he seems petty, yukhei just isn’t in his favour.

his deep thoughts came to a halt when you called out his name, eyes still half-closed, attempting to open them a bit more. 

“did i interrupt you or something? gosh, i’m so sorry,” you quickly stood up but he pulls your body back onto his lap, asking for you to stay.

“what are we?” that question caught you off-guard. the same one that has been at debate in the back of your mind these days. 

i don’t know hyuck, it’s complicated. 

“what do you think we are, hyuck?” you shot the question back at him, your gaze piercing through his soul.

“i don’t know. it’s just-” 

“are you sure?” a deep sigh left your lips. have you been interpreting his body languages wrong? did he only see you as a normal friend, nothing more? 

“sorry, i’m not feeling well. see you later hyuck, bye,” you tried your best to shoot the sweet smile of yours but only a faint one seemed to appear. once you stepped out of the room, he buried his face into his hands. 

god, what have i done?

“don’t feel too down, y/n. maybe there’s something more that he couldn’t bring himself to say?” vic suggested, handing you some tissue.

“i don’t know, i seriously have no idea. why can’t he just say it?” you continued to sob into her arms, she pitied you, especially in your condition right now. but she can’t do anything to help you, other than consoling and listening. 

jaemin knew something was wrong, from your rare visits to the cafe to hyuck not being himself lately. something was definitely wrong and it’s between the both of you. sure, hyuck might be saying that he’s fine again and again, but his expressions can’t lie. the sweet smile of his is long gone and his jokes are no longer heard. whatever it is, jaemin is determined to solve it. he just wants his best friends back. 

looks of dismay can be read all over hyuck’s face when the person facing him is no other than the guy himself, yukhei. still, he tried to control his composure, not making his inner feelings any more obvious.

“so what brings you here?” he took a sip of the mineral water, still making his throat rough from the tension hanging in the air. 

“look, i’m not here for any fights. i know you like y/n, everybody can see it. and honestly, you were oblivious to your own feelings,” he rubbed his hands together. the latter’s puzzled face made him continue his words.

“i’m not trying to make her like me, or whatever you’ve been assuming. sorry if i gave the wrong message but you are the one who should make a move. i can see from the way she looks at you, the feelings are mutual,” he straightened up the denim jacket outside the white shirt wrapping his figure. 

letting out a heavy sigh, hyuck’s face begins to soften up. “no, i should be the one who’s sorry. i’ve been such a prick to everyone around me lately, especially you,” he took of the cap from his head, messing up his hair. 

“no problem, bro. it’s understandable, i guess. now good luck with her, please treat her well,” the two guys exchanged a fist bump for the problem solved. jaemin leaned his back against the wall, smiling and feeling satisfied.

you called out jaemin’s name but to no avail. he invited you to his apartment but seeing that the lights are out, it’s clear enough that he hasn’t finished whatever he was doing yet. just as you were about to leave, you saw hyuck at the other side of it, both your faces mirroring the same look of confusion.

“so, uh, how have you been doing these days? it’s been a while since we talked,” he chose to break the silence. now, you two were sitting facing each other by the balcony. inhaling the breeze, you paused for a moment before responding to his question.

“i’ve been feeling, not as usual. definitely not happy but not that sad,” you pushed some of the loose hair strands hanging on your forehead behind your ears before asking about his.

“you know what, i’m just going to be direct with you. i, lee donghyuck have been holding feelings for you since i don’t know when. yeah sure, i wasn’t really sure at first about what i was going through. i guess i was just scared of how you would react,” he scratched his ears which are not feeling itchy at all, but rather an attempt to distract himself from the overwhelming emotions deep inside him. 

not wanting to waste time any longer, you placed your right hand onto his cheek, standing on the heels of your feet to bring your two lips together. the kiss was short before he pulls you back in for another, this time a more passionate one. he could feel you smile against his lips before enveloping your body into his arms.

“i’ve missed you, you know?” he whispered, his voice tender, directing right into your ears before you replied with how you missed him more. the both of you continued to whisper sweet nothings while embracing each other’s presence. 

jaemin looked at the both of you from a distance, his heart swelling with pride. 

— another pair of lovers matched, cupid jaemin signing out.

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[in-tua-deep]

What animal do you think suits each of the umbrella kids the most?

okay what you don’t know is that i’m a sucker for a his dark materials au with daemons so i’m sorry if that’s not what you want but that’s what you’re getting lmao

forewarning: this is super self indulgent and i only have actual reasons for like maybe half of these 

Luther: a dog! If you want specifics probably an Anatolian Shepherd dog bc they’re big motherfuckers and muscular as fuck. I did toy with a big animal like a bear but ultimately I think a dog just because simply: Luther obeys Reginald without question and has incredibly loyalty to a man that never cared about his wellbeing. Plus, you know, the family would rib at him about being Reginald’s loyal dog and all that. Plus it’s a good set up for his rivalry with Diego that I’ll yell about in a minute. 

So yes, Luther’s daemon settles as a bigass dog. She’s pragmatic and can be cold and often tries to model herself after Reginald’s daemon. She can be somewhat self righteous and very blunt. She tends to say exactly what she’s thinking without sugar coating it and doesn’t care if Luther has to stumble to save face. “You think one of us killed dad.” Diego says. “No not ‘one of you’, specifically you, Diego. You have an alibi?” Luther’s daemon says in front of the family, god, and Five’s portrait on the mantle.

Diego: a wolf! This sets up a big rivalry between Diego and Luther as they have somewhat similar daemons except for the fact that Luther’s is a domesticated canine and Diego’s is a wild one. Luther often uses Diego’s daemon to say that Diego is too wild to lead the team and that’s why he’s in charge. It’s mainly because while Diego does his whole lone wolf act, he’s shown to be pretty protective of the people he considers his and really he does need a pack. Even though he tells Klaus no, he doesn’t bother enforcing it when Klaus insists on hopping in the car anyway. He wants to be leader of the pack, but is awkward when he tries to be in charge bless his heart.

Diego’s wolf daemon is a not-so-secret softie. She prompts Diego to interact more with his family and sends longing glances towards Detective Patch and her daemon. She doesn’t get along with Luther’s daemon and always bristles when she’s around, though Luther’s daemon tends to ignore Diego’s and act like she’s above it all which just makes the issue even worse tbh. Diego’s daemon doesn’t shy away from her instincts and refers to the family as her pack and is very vocal about both not killing Grace (though later she sits and whines when Diego does it) and letting Vanya out (Diego spits vitriol about Vanya but his daemon is suspiciously silent on the subject).

Allison: a burmese python! I will freely admit that i chose this 90% because of the feather boa in the beginning dance scene because I want Allison to have her daemon constantly draped around her neck and on her body, but snakes do tend to be associated with manipulation as well in some stories even though I can’t see it looking at their cute little faces?? But I mean Allison’s whole gig is manipulation so it fits even though I’m only justifying it after the fact lmao. 

Allison’s daemon is very laid back and rarely speaks up. Allison often accuses him of being lazy because she tends to carry him everywhere and he’s constantly on the hunt for warm places to curl up in. He used to ride on the back of Luther’s daemon a lot when Allison got fed up of carrying him. Uses the fact that he doesn’t have eyelids to stare people down when they’re being irritating. Generally does not appreciate the negative press that comes with being a snake daemon and secretly him and Allison both wonder if him being a snake was a factor in her not getting custody of Claire. (Allison didn’t appreciate what he settled as and they fought about it, there’s still some tension between them on occasion because of it)

Klaus: a black cat! I almost gave him a raven because reasons but I ended up with a cat for pretty simple reasons: Klaus is pretty much a stray cat in human form tbh just look at him. Also because cats stare off into corners like they can see the dead and damned so I thought it was somewhat appropriate, and black cats are considered both lucky and unlucky depending on where you like (which lemme tell you as a black cat owner who moved from a lucky to unlucky area was a wild thing to find out). 

Klaus’s daemon is very sarcastic and a lot less forgiving than Klaus himself is. They hold a grudge to say the least. While most daemons tend not to speak to people who aren’t their own, Klaus’s daemon doesn’t give a single shit and will talk to anyone they damn well please. Doesn’t get along with Luther’s daemon because they constantly talk shit about Reggie and Reggie’s daemon, but gets along very well with Diego’s daemon and has ridden on her shoulder more than once. Shares Klaus’s power in that they can see the dead but ignores them even harder than Klaus because they’re secretly freaked out that ghosts don’t have daemons. Klaus and his daemon also hang out with Ben’s daemon, who for reasons unknown didn’t burst into dust upon Ben’s death but she generally stays out of sight.

Five: one part of me says hare because of the cryptic value and eyes that look like they could kill you and also jumping jokes and another part of me says hummingbird for plenty of good reasons but an even larger part of me says that I don’t have to choose because I can just symbolically make his daemon unsettled. She wasn’t settled before the apocalypse and then he kind of… never really grew up. Part of a daemon settling is growing up and knowing yourself but Five didn’t have a chance to do that, he was too focused on his goal. They both dislike the fact that she’s unsettled because they think it’s childish, but it’s also very handy because it means she’s adaptable as fuck. Maybe she pretends she’s settled as a hare or something while they work for the Commission idk and it’s a little reveal when he’s back home. Maybe they’re also separated like a witch’s daemon due to the Commission?? unclear

Five’s daemon tends to fade into the background if you’ll let her. She tends to be standoffish but is exceptionally observant. She very rarely speaks to anyone outside of Five, even among the siblings, though she’s not above bluntly calling them out if Five isn’t around and she deems it necessary. She likes Vanya best, though she was also fond of Ben. She tends to be the voice of reason for Five and probably takes most of Dolores’s lines in telling him drinking is bad for him or that his equations are wrong. There’s probably a dramatic scene where she’s revealed to be unsettled where she turns into a big fuckoff animal and fucks up the Handler or something idk but otherwise she’s pretty content to remain a hare and do a good impression of the rabbit from monty python if people fuck with her.

Ben: something smaller and easily hidden. My heart says rat because they’re so fucking good and smart so that’s what I’m going to run with, and also because they’re often viewed negatively and Ben has a power that he also views negatively rip. Also I’m gonna be real the idea of Klaus and Ben’s daemons being absolute bros as a cat and a rat also amuses me so there’s that and this is my au i do what i want. 

Ben’s daemon was withdrawn before his death and even more so after. No one knows why she didn’t turn to dust when Ben died, but she didn’t. None of the other siblings knew that she survived because she asked Klaus not to tell, worried that Reginald would experiment on her to try and figure out why she didn’t vanish. She spent most of their time before Klaus left hiding in his room, and after she hides in his clothes a lot and likes when he wears items with hoods (like Ben used to) because she likes to curl up in them. Like Five’s daemon, she doesn’t talk much. 

Vanya: a spotted owl! I wanted to give Vanya a winged daemon that can’t fly for most of the duration of the plot despite having wings because of general symbolism reasons regarding Reginald “clipping her wings” by suppressing her powers with medication and all that. Honestly I mostly picked a spotted owl on a whim because I like owls (I was a guardians of gahoole kid) and I think that the hints of white on a spotted owl would be a cool allusion to her powers and also there’s some sick imagery in her powers activating and her daemons colors reversing so that he’s primarily white soooo i do what i want is the answer

Like I said above, Vanya’s daemon is a bird daemon who… doesn’t fly. He mostly spends his time on a perch that Vanya bought for him in her apartment. He doesn’t actually spend a lot of time physically on Vanya outside of when they’re travelling somewhere, and she usually puts him down immediately when she arrives at her destination. He usually just walks about the house but like a chicken can do a sort of jump/flap combo to get up to surfaces so he’s alright for the most part. I want to say part of Leonard’s manipulations was that he also has a bird daemon and they try and teach Vanya’s daemon to fly as well as for her to access her powers.

and outside of the main kids (these aren’t nearly as well thought out and are liable to change probably - 

Reginald: a fox. Cunning and intelligent and adaptable, she’s regal and stone cold, never speaking directly to any of the children and she often acts as if they don’t exist or are so far beneath her they might as well not. Her coat is always pristine, her dark eyes are always watching, and her teeth are dazzling and sharp and threatening even though the kids see her far more rarely than they do their father. She’s a ruthless pragmatist and often served as an observer during their training, after which she would whisper in Reginald’s ear and oftentimes there was a new and inventive torture waiting for them. Sometimes the kids feared her more than they feared their father. She’s only ever shown anything even approaching affection to Luther’s daemon, and even that was just brushing herself past the other daemon and allowing a brief touch.

Hazel: a big grizzly bear. They often both complain about the lack of accommodations for large daemons when she has to squeeze her ass into their tiny motel rooms or in diner booths and restaurant tables in general. Tends to just stay in the hotel room and allow people to assume Hazel has a small daemon since they’re separated and her bulk is often cumbersome for missions. Has 100% charged in as the cavalry and fucked people up though don’t mistake her whining for her not being very dangerous.

Cha-Cha: my heart says a mountain lion and so that’s what i’m going with. Large and can do a lot of damage given the opportunity with those claws, pretty sneaky and damn good at his job. Is probably the one who scruffs Klaus’s daemon when they kidnap him from the house. He has a wicked sense of humor that Cha-Cha doesn’t always appreciate and always goes with for missions because he genuinely enjoys their work, doesn’t understand why Hazel’s daemon would rather stay behind.

Grace: yes I understand that Grace is a robot and no that’s not going to stop me from saying that Reginald gave her a mechanical clockwork butterfly daemon because I say so and because I think his daemon would have insisted that it’s far too creepy to look and see a human without a daemon and he’s trying to make her as realistic as possible, right? The butterfly is technically an extension of Grace, however Reginald never gave her daemon a voicebox because he deemed it unnecessary. He usually just sits on Grace’s shoulder slowly opening and closing his wings. A plot point is Grace finally naming her daemon for herself because Reginald never bothered with a name for him either.

The Handler: The Handler doesn’t have a daemon. Five asks her where her daemon is in the flashback scene where she recruits him and she laughs and tells him that that’s a rude question and never answers him. The daemon never shows up and other people and their daemons are noticeably unsettled by this. Five’s daemon genuinely is frightened by the Handler and tends to hide behind him, which the Handler comments upon with a saccharine smile. They never do figure out what happened to her daemon (though one of the office workers shares a rumor with Five that the Handler killed her own daemon for questioning the commission).

Patch: a terrier! My heart says border terrier so that’s what I’m going with. Dogged and unwilling to let go when she feels like she’s on the scent of something, she’s a good police officer even if she has torn loyalty to Diego as well. He’s a hardy little thing and he encourages her to bend the rules so much so that it used to be a running joke that her daemon might as well be Diego’s. Her daemon doesn’t bother with the hostilities and is always pleased to see Diego’s daemon. For the most part they just watch their idiot humans snipe at one another and are content to chill until Patch makes Diego leave. Their daemons always cheerfully say bye to each other and that they’ll see the other again soon even

Dave: my heart says also a dog. Probably a farm dog. Australian Cattle Dog, maybe? because my heart also says that Dave was probably raised as a good honest farm boy or at the VERY LEAST his grandparents had a farm he spent his summers on as a child. Very loyal. She absolutely adores Klaus and his daemon and Klaus’s daemon curled up with her constantly. Touching another person’s daemon is a social booboo but out there in Vietnam both daemons saved the other’s human at least once. Dave’s daemon pretends that she’s more sensible than him and often would complain at Klaus’s daemon that the sexual tension was genuinely killing her and if they kept gazing into one another’s eyes on the disco floor she was gonna barf. Klaus’s daemon would just roll their eyes because it’s not like they as daemons weren’t all touchy feely. Klaus’s daemon could be constantly seen grooming Dave’s with their little cat sandpaper tongue and Dave’s daemon constantly rested her head on Klaus’s to go to sleep sO. The scene where Dave dies is doubly sad because you see her turning into dust as Klaus’s daemon howls.

Agnes: almost forgot Agnes whoops. But I choose… a canary! Why? Because they’re bright and pretty and sing nicely and she would forever be explaining that yes, her daemon is a canary but it isn’t a domestic canary so that’s why he has brown on him and isn’t pure yellow. That and I think it would be sort of cute if Hazel’s attention was caught by pretty birdsong initially so a songbird it is. Agnes’s daemon, when her and Hazel are together, likes to snuggle down into Hazel’s daemon’s fur and make a small attempt to preen her even though she’s like a million times his size. He’s absolutely fearless and doesn’t hesitate at Hazel’s large daemon like a lot of small daemons do which endears him to the assassin duo. Like genuinely I picked canary on an absolute whim but that same goes for most of these and no one can stop me.

is that everyone?? i think that’s everyone

EDIT: I FORGOT LEONARD which goes to show how much i repress his existence

Leonard: a great skua. Am I basing this on the fact that I wanted his daemon to be a bird for plot reasons and the first mean bird I could think of was that one dude who wanted to eat baby Mumble in Happy Feet? maybe. But yeah a generally normal looking bird with the capacity for great violence there we go that’s my reasoning thank you and good night. His daemon is unsettling to literally everyone except Vanya probably tbh and Vanya calls Allison out on daemon stereotyping because Allison has a SNAKE she should be BETTER THAN THAT. But yeah that’s all I got for tonight thanks for reading lads.

[s-j-ace]

New Plan!

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 9,119

Summary:

Kokichi Ouma, leader of the mysterious group of thieves that go only by DICE, is going through the motions of orchestrating their biggest heist ever when an unexpected bump in the road changes everything. That bump in the road is a detective and his name is Shuichi Saihara.

Essentially the events of That’s the Thing About Airplanes from Kokichi’s POV

Read on AO3

Kokichi Ouma was ready to be bored out of his mind for the next eight hours as he boarded the flight behind his motley crew.  He was trying to keep himself busy by being generally exasperated with them. They were supposed to be posing as different family units or strangers that didn’t know one another, but King was supposed to be Rook’s uncle and they were touching each other’s butts while handing the lady their boarding passes. Bishop and Hearts were practically leaning on each other like they were tired or whatever, but they were supposed to be total strangers. Maybe they could be rewritten as half siblings or a whirlwind romance or something? Ugh whatever.

Kokichi would normally kick their asses about this, but he’d already anticipated their horrid 2 AM acting skills. The lady taking boarding passes was a plant. Jack had wriggled herself in as a flight attendant three days ago. She was currently taking boarding passes because of an understaffing issue. An issue that may or may not have been of natural causes... 

Anyway, she’d get on the flight and smuggle the tea on board. The heist plan didn’t really involve the plane at all, so this was kind of unnecessary, but god would he want that half-way to Paris hot tea party. Besides, he wasn’t really one to leave much to chance when it came to scheming. Although that characteristic was more out of habit than any sort of innate perfectionistic tendencies. He was a king of thinking on the fly, but nowadays he rarely ran amok in that court because he just so happened to also be just as much of a genius at premeditated mischief.

It was a good thing Jack had volunteered herself for the plant job. He’d call her the most competent of DICE at 2 AM if she hadn’t drawn a dick on his boarding pass while checking it.

“Wow, it’s almost like you’ve actually seen one, you virgin loser.” He had told her as he tucked the pass into his hoodie pocket. 

She smiled at him like he had complimented her handwriting or something inane like that. “Thanks! I’ve been working on my portraits. My boss is a real inspiration in my art you know…”

“I’d love to meet him someday,” Kokichi replied congenially, “He sounds handsome and brilliant and like he should always be listened to.”

She gave a thoughtful humm, “Actually he’s kind of a prick.” She blew a raspberry at him.

He frowned. “Well that’s rude,” he commented with an offended tone, “And out of character.” He shifted to an angrier persona. "Do you want to ruin everything?" Maybe it wasn’t entirely persona, he was a little tired too after all.

“Relax boss,” Jack said, looking at the screen in front of her with all the boarding information, “It says here you’re the last passenger.”

To be honest Kokichi’s concern-o-meter for this heist was in the negatives. He was pretty much bored by how well thought out this plan was, but he felt like he had to make a point and he was rarely ever honest besides.

Kokichi huffed moodily. “Yeah sure, but what if that detective from the smithsonian, like, stole the security camera footage from this airport or something totally plausible like that.”

He was kind of planning this conversation out a couple steps ahead. He did that sometimes, when he was bored. She’d refute him by calling the detective a goody-two-shoes or something and he’d say something about caution and she’d dismiss him and then something would pop up later where he could say ‘I told you so’ and re-establish his authority. The same happened when Ace wanted to prove how buff he was by lifting the mammoth bones from the Smithsonian. They'd had to stash it insecurely and the police got to it before they could come back for it later. That was a big ‘I told you so’ moment and as a result no one questioned him on his plans for the Louvre this time around.

Weirdly enough, his conversation forecast did not come to pass this time around.

Jack frowned, looking at the screen. “Hey, what was that guy’s name again? The guy from the Smithsonian.”

Kokichi frowned. “What, the mammoth?”

“No, like, the detective.”

Kokichi squinted at her. He was an evil mastermind, he could recall the exact angle of every laser scanner in the Louvre, of course he could remember the name of some guy. Shuichi Saihara. The novice detective whose dumb friend had tripped that allarm the night of the Smithsonian heist. They’d only had three minutes to get out with the picture frames and hide the mammoth because of him. The detective had showed up at a couple heists and had gotten in the paper, but honestly the mammoth thing was a bit of a fluke. They really hadn’t had a lot of time to stash it. Overall not a big deal.

Which was why it was weird that happy-go-lucky Jack of all people was bringing him up.

“What about him?”

“He’s, like, on the flight I think.” 

She showed him the screen and sure enough, Shuichi Saihara was sitting in economy class by the emergency exits. Well, it didn’t really say that on the screen, but given his seat number Kokichi could triangulate it from the diagram of the plane he had memorized. Not that he had really needed to that, but… wait… what if he did need to...

A light bulb went on in Kokichi’s head. In cartoons lightbulbs were just a little blink that meant a switch had flipped for a single eureka moment, but for Kokichi it was more like the real life current of electricity as all of the steps of a brand new heist plan tripped over each other to course through his mind. He forgot to be bored for a second as his brain was lit up with a new scheme and all the possible scenarios that could accompany it.

He had been missing this.

Something... unexpected.

Something... exciting.

Something... unnecessarily convoluted!

Jack took one look at his carefully not grinning face and groaned with exasperation. “Awww boss you ain’t changing the plan again are ya? You already wrote us like a 100 page novel about the first one…”

“Eh, fuck that plan.” Kokichi said doing some mental calculations, “Get me ten parachutes and see if Clubs has extra sleeping drugs I want you to put them in the passengers’ drinks. The strong stuff. Direct Queen towards the rooftop diagrams I shoved in his carry on. Tell me when it gets to be around 1:34 AM Paris time.”

She looked at him with annoyance at the sudden deluge of tasks. “Oh yeah, sure thing. And what are you going to do?”

He gave her his biggest, bestest, shit-eating-est grin. “Be myself, of course.”

Then he turned and boarded the plane, imagining and relishing in the weirded out look she was definitely giving him.

When he got to the entryway of the plane from the boarding hallway, he came upon Rook gossiping with one of the flight attendants. Kokichi heard something about a wedding and a honeymoon before Rook spotted him and excused themselves to find their seat.

“Good evening, sir.” The flight attendant said, still clearly coming off of the social high of talking about his personal happiness. Kokichi decided to slam him down from it, hard.

“It will now that I’m finally on the same damn plane as my husband.” He gave his best impression of a disgruntled everyman, which meant it was a great impression because his best was always great.

“R-right.” Ah yes, the security of making someone else feel socially awkward. Kokichi would make a great playground bully, that’s for sure. At least he was self aware. And putting his talents to good use! Bullying pseudo-law-enforcement was 100% valid according to all levels of morality.

As he walked down the aisle he noticed the rest of DICE ahead of him chattering like sparrows as they moved to the back of the plane. Originally they had planned to keep a low profile and have a pre-heist tea party before touching down in Paris, but now…

Kokichi spotted him, sure enough right by the emergency exits. He looked dead tired and about to doze off, so Kokichi took a second to make some quick observations he hadn’t gotten the chance to get on the night of the Smithsonian heist. The guy had this very detective-esque trench coat with lots of pockets, which was a shame because it meant that if Kokichi decided to pickpocket him he’d have trouble figuring out where his wallet was. Something that didn’t really fit Kokichi’s imaginings of a stereotypical detective, however was that the guy was around his own age in the mid twenties and didn’t seem like the grizzled gumshoe type at all. In fact he was kind of anti-grizzled. He had a boring pretty boy face like a model or something and instead of the full beard and square jaw Kokichi had half imagined any time the word “detective” came up in his mind’s eye he had eyeliner accentuating the only hair on his face and a very breakable looking face. Ok that was a very play ground bully thing to think. Except young people weren’t really as fun to bully as old people because they actually might be poor or emotionally insecure or something, which always made Kokichi feel a semblance of an emotion akin to guilt. But this guy was flying to Paris in the summer season and had been in America a couple weeks before, so fuck him basically. Didn’t he have a job or something?

Oh shit the guy was looking at him, how long had he been doing that?

Don't panic, analyze then act.

He seemed freaked. Probably because Kokichi had been staring at him for a couple seconds now. 

He put on a menacingly friendly grin and slipped into the seat next to the detective. Not the one in front of him, or one of the ones in his completely empty row, or even the aisle seat,  literally the one right next to him. He put his elbow on the armrest the detective had so kindly pulled down for him.

The guy still looked super freaked out, so Kokichi tried to shift his grin to the more congenial side of menacing.

“Hey, aren't you Shuichi Saihara?” He asked, extending his hand. He thought about coming up with a pseudonym but was too busy being delighted by the absolute terror on the detective’s face. “I'm your biiiggest fan.”

The guy shook his hand like it was the lever for his very own personal electric chair. Dramatic much?

It seemed to freak him out so Kokichi decided to run with the ‘biggest fan’ thread, chattering on, “I read aaall about that thing with the hairy elephant and the stupid ugly criminal you've been tracking.”

He would keep talking about the ironic impudence of this imaginary criminal but it really seemed like Saihara was having a dissociative episode while he was talking.

He frowned. That was kind of boring. “Hey are you like deaf or something?” That would be kind of extra boring because then Kokichi would be trying to bully a deaf dude and that would be lame. “Hey. Heyyyy. Earth to Shuichi Saihara.” Maybe he could thread some truth in here. “Geez I didn't expect you to be this boring in person…”

That seemed to get him.

Saihara shook his head like he was getting the dust out and stuttered out an "I-I-I'm sorry, what?"

Well maybe he had the soul of an old man, if not the looks of one, Kokichi thought to himself as he blithered on. “Have you been ignoring me? Not a very nice way to treat your biggest fans." He crossed his arms. "I, like, totally hate when heroes don't live up to your expectations."

Guy still looked half asleep… Maybe a change of scenery was in order… 

Kokichi noticed the chatty flight attendant from earlier coming down the aisle. It was time to act on his earlier framework...

He said something like “You can make it up to me,” but honestly even he wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying anymore. That was the only warning he gave before reaching over the detective to break his chair. If he had stopped to think about it, he might have thought it was awkward, but it wasn’t like he had to care about what this guy thought. He was going to leave him on the plane and probably never see him again.

Kokichi held himself back from giggling when the detective toppled over backwards.

“Oh no!” He feigned surprise, “How could this happen?”

"What happens to be the problem here gentlemen?" The flight attendant asked right on cue.

Saihara was looking pretty dubious but also not that talkative so Kokichi thought about the right words to spin this.

Distract. You’re the threat here, Kokichi.

"What's the problem? You're asking me what the problem is?" He shifted his tone to that of a white soccer mom used to getting what she wants. "The problem, good sir, is that this Rusty bucket of bolts you call an airplane just tried to give my husband a concussion! I could sue for this, you know."

The flight attendant broke easy.

"I'm so, so sorry sir." He quibbled. "Here, we'll make it up to you. It's a long flight and we don't have many guests so I can upgrade you both to first class with no additional charge."

Kokichi gave a rather hearty harrumph. Not bad as far as harrumphs go.

"You better. Or my lawyer will be hearing about this."

Hah. If Kokichi tried to talk to a lawyer he’d probably get arrested. Small claims lawyers were like cops but with even less spine and more capitalistic tendencies in his book.

The flight attendant didn’t seem to care about the rot of society, though, and tarried forth to first class. Saihara hadn’t quite caught on yet, so Kokichi grabbed his arm. For some reason he didn’t expect the detective to be so draggable. Detectives just didn’t seem that way. Like they could be dragged, but Saihara seemed too tired and confused to not be dragged. Thrilling! Boring. Okay okay don’t get ahead of the horses here. Horses? Uh.

First class was more Kokichi’s style. He let Saihara shuffle into the window seat so he’d be able to keep a look out for Jack’s signals in the aisle. 

"Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help you." The flight attendant said as Kokichi sat down.

Ugh it’s like he actually cared about his job or something. Being in customer service must be insufferable. 

Kokichi didn’t actually want to harrass this asshole when there was a perfectly good fake cop right next to him, so he replied with an apologetic smile, “Of course. Ah, I'm so rry for causing so much trouble, it's just the honeymoon you see and everything just has to be perfect, you know?”

"No, it's quite alright, I understand completely." The flight attendant seemed to relax a little, “I went through the same trouble with my husband. Really let me know if I can help you at all.”

Droll. “Thanks sooo much!" he intoned gratefully. He turned to Saihara who still looked like he was in shock. "Wasn't he just the nicest Shuichi?"

Saihara blinked at him. "... If you had enough money to hire a lawyer that could sue an airline so frivolously then you would've already been in first class."

Hey! That sounded like something a detective would say!

"I'm just stingy." Hah. Beat that logic. Nice one Kokichi.

Saihara squinted like he was about to bless Ouma with another brilliant deduction. 

"... Did you sit next to me so you could convince that gay flight attendant to put you in first class?"

Wow!!! He was thinking!!! He was totally wrong but at least he was trying.

"I can't believe you figured it out!" Kokichi did his best impression of a widow revealing a dark secret on prime time television. "It's true…Detective Saihara I was lying about being married to you the whole time. I thought you knew..."

"Wha- of course I knew that!" Saihara sputtered.

"Oh! How can you ever forgive me?" The flight attendant was definitely out of range by now so this seemed like a good time for some melodramatic tears. "Waah!"

"H-hey! Stop that." Wow what a bad detective. Is that how you comfort people? Sad.

Kokichi was about to weep even more for the loss of chivalry when the asshole shoved something at him. Was that… a handkerchief? This guy just had a handkerchief? Is that not something that only people in movies do? 

Weird.

Kokichi snatched it from him, exclaiming, “"Oh wow! What a gentlemanly thing to do!"

He proceeded to make his most grotesque snot noises imaginable.

“A-are you alright?” The detective stuttered out.

Kokichi pondered a couple iterations of “no, and it’s your fault” before deciding that was boring and saying “Perfectly fine.” He flicked out the handkerchief and held it a bit to make sure Shuichi noticed it was clean before tucking it in his pockets. “Just a liar is all.”

"A-a liar?"

Kokichi frowned at him. "No, where did you hear that?" He made an expression of disgust. “Ick, I hate liars after all.” He put on his manic pixie dream girl sees a light bulb for a first time look. “That's why I'm such a big fan of yours, Shuichi.”

"I-is that so?" Ah, the panic of a person unprepared for social interaction at two am was a sight for sore eyes. “Um.” Or maybe it said nothing of Ouma’s own skill that this guy was an awkward glob. "Y-you seem to know my name, but, uh, what's yours?"

A question! An inquiry! One for which Kokichi had the perfect answer....

"Kaito Momota."

“What.” 

Wow! What a flat tone Saihara had! Almost like he didn’t believe him or something absurd like that.

Kokichi waved his hands dismissively. "I know, I know, isn't that the name of your friend who was in the paper? That's why I read it, by the way," he said matter of factly. "Because we have the same name."

Ugh, he was adding too much supporting detail. That’s something bad liars do and he wasn’t a bad liar. He was the best liar. Accept no substitutions. Unless they were really good at lying about being a substitution… then they would probably be the best liar… 

Ok whatever ranking of liar he was it was probably good enough to fool-

"... I-is that another lie?"

Ah fuck.

"Neeheehee… ya caught me." Best to bail early on this kind of thing. "If you guess my real name by the end of the flight I'll give you a prize!"

"Like Rumplestiltskin?"

Really? Was his own charade getting that cartoonish already?

“Aww man. You guessed it the first try. That's no fun.” Logically this was boring but he was doing okay as far as airplanes went. "I guess now you'll just have to guess my second, less cool, real name instead."

As great as he was at being evasive in all situations why was the subject not changed by now.

"... Honestly I'd much rather be sleeping through this flight." The detective rubbed his face, and Kokichi noticed the darker shades of his eyelids weren’t all eyeliner. He must have business. Something that was keeping him up at night.

Kokichi determined some short term goals for this conversation. Find out why the detective was going to Paris was primary among them. That information would narrow down his field of options for how to spend the rest of the flight.

Kokichi scoffed. “Why would anyone get on a flight to Paris at 2 AM if they weren't prepared to be up all night?" He shifted back into the fanboy thread, "Oh! Oh! Oh! I bet you've got another case you're hot on the trail of, huh Mr. Detective?”

Saihara seemed to hesitate. “Uh, sort of.”

Kokichi thought he was going to say something more but after a few seconds of silence, it was clear he needed further prompting.

"What kind of answer is that?" His words seemed to surprise the Detective, which was a bit silly considering that they had been having a conversation, where words being exchanged should be the norm. "How can you only sort of be solving a mystery?" Kokichi lied through his teeth. "You know, I just so happen to also be a world class detective."

“Really? Saihara’s skeptical and unassertive response was less of a question in this conversation and more of a way to measure how gullible he was.

"Yes, really!" Kokichi replied, storming ahead, "And as a real life detective I just so happen to know that when you're working a case you work it with 100% of yourself!"

Saihara made this weird, soft sound. It took Kokichi a moment's consideration to realize it was supposed to be a laugh because it sounded not at all like the howling cackles growing up with DICE had familiarized him with.

"I guess you're kind of right about that…” He fidgeted with the edges of his coat. “There's, uh, this case that I've been looking into for a long time now and I guess I have really been putting 100% of myself into it. My friends think I'm going a little crazy…"

Ooh, that was something. 

“Your friends? Like that purple haired guy who was in the paper? The one with the dumb name?”

Considering the nitwit Saihara had been romping around the Smithsonian with, the detective must really be off the deep end on this case to be considered looney by his friends. 

Kokichi was predicting a silly story that he could use to justify to DICE his choice to sit next to the detective the whole flight beyond satiating this little whim of his for a taste of the unexpected. He imagined them laughing about the detective from the smithsonian who thought the Eiffel tower was a secret spaceship or something as Kokichi explained how he just had to stick around to make fun of him.

Oh shit the detective was saying something.

"-him and one other friend think I'm making this thing about the Louvre up… and maybe I am a little crazy."

… The Louvre, huh?

Kokichi scrutinized the detective. He couldn’t mean… “The Louvre? Like, someone's gonna steal the Mona Lisa?"

"Uh, no." The detective looked away as if mildly embarrassed. "I think, uh, someone's going to take the plumbing from the renovated bathrooms…"

Kokichi’s brain registered two things about Shuichi Saihara at the same time. One: he was a real detective. Not a hopeless buffoon of a gumshoe like the ones you saw in video games about dystopian court systems and gay lawyers. He had made a real life deduction and had done so accurately. He was on a case. The second thing he realised was that Shuichi Saihara was a direct threat to his entire operation.

People usually categorize threats as something to induce fear. Some would describe the fear as “bone chilling.” 

When Kokichi registered a threat his toes got cold. Not because he was scared or something dumb like that, but because his blood suddenly had a better place to be. 

Kokichi’s brain raced with possibilities, brand new scenarios and personas that he could put on. Like he had been sitting at a boring ass company play only to realize that the curtains were rising to reveal a dramatic opera where he was the star. Ok, Kokichi wasn’t exactly a poet laureate when it came to analogies, but he was excited okay?

Kokichi shuffled the deck of options and picked a card.

"Wow. You must be really smart to have figured that out." Ok, good thought to start with praise. He has a low self esteem. "You know…" Kokichi leaned in. Shuichi leaned away. Good. Make him uncomfortable by getting in his bubble.

Now, just for fun, lie wildly. 

 "I just so happen to be the leader of a secret organization with about 10,000 members. We rule the world from the shadows. I think we could use a detective like you."

Shuichi obviously didn’t believe him, which was, to his credit, absolutely fair. “That- that has to be a lie. There is no possible way for such an organization to exist.” 

Sad detective, falling for the classic hiding in plain sight maneuver. Disguise the truth of DICE in an unbelievable lie and he doesn’t believe any of it.

"And here I was thinking you were particularly clever." And, twist. "Seeing as you've refused to join my organization… it seems I'll have to kill you."

Oh man that really seemed to frazzle the good detective. What, had he never gotten a death threat before? Typical. It would be funny to see his expression if Kokichi were to just stab him right now. Except ew because blood and also ending human life. Yikes. Weird train of thought.

"But I'll let you leave this flight with your life if you can beat me in a game."

That seemed to calm the detective down a bit, like he realized Kokichi was just joking. It’d be funny when Kokichi pulled out the knife later. Ah, ah, ah, no spoilers.

"How about Russian Roulette with a full barrel?"

Shuichi sputtered, "This is a plane, you don't have a gun!"

Kokichi considered the ‘my ruse has been discovered….’ line again before he realized he’d used it like twice now and tossed it aside for: "Oh that's right, left it on my tchotchke shelf, silly me. Well I guess if you just want to beg like a dog and then split your guts open that would be acceptable."

Wow ok a little harsh there. Kokichi’s single brain cell devoted to tact whispered. What? No. No filter. Fuck you brain trying to conform to social conventions, shut the fuck up and stay out of my personality.

"Um, no that would kill me."

"Damn, nothing gets past you… Hmm… Ok, how about…" Kokichi reached into the pocket he usually left his Yu-Gi-Oh deck in. "A shadow game!"

He held up the cards only to realize they were actually just a normal playing deck. Oh yeah, he left his deck at home because he thought Rook might steal his blue eyes while he slept on the plane. Shit. Oh well, playing cards could be fun too.

"It's time to du-du-du-du-du-du-du-duel!"

Shuichi blinked. "A...duel? Shadow Game...?"

"Hmhmhm... Yes, the loser's soul will get sent to the Shadow Realm…" he shuffled them so that Shuichi and him would draw the same cards, "We each pull one card from this deck, and whoever has the largest number wins!"

Shuichi looked rather befuddled but Kokichi kept going full steam ahead.

This wasn’t really a game of chance anyhow. That wasn’t the point. The game had two motives, the first being to gauge Shuichi’s reactions to different scenarios, the second being to build up Kokichi himself as someone intimidating and mysterious. The card game wasn’t extremely telling, but the ensuing bout of rock paper scissors was. 

Kokichi was keeping pretty busy predicting what Shuichi was going to pick next in order to make it a tie, but Shuichi didn’t protest at all to the mindless repetitive game it must have been for him. He was either easily impressed by rock paper scissors or just too awkward to tell Kokichi to fuck off.

Apparently the guy sitting in the row in front of them had no qualms about such things. He hit the back of his seat and grumbled “Oh my God shut up already.”

A bunch of weirdly indignant thoughts ran through Kokichi’s head. 

Wow! Rude asshole! Mind your own fucking business! Get some damn headphones!

Shuichi looked like being told he was annoyed by a random asshole was his equivalent of seeing a ghost as he muttered out some inane apology. 

Not that he cared about how this guy felt, but him suddenly clamming up just wasn’t very fun at all. 

Just when he was making headway too…

… Maybe it was time to get rid of the distractions.

"Gosh Shuichi you really were being just too loud. You're like the loudest person I've ever met."

Shuichi looked at him like he was crazy which Kokichi appreciated for a millisecond before raising his voice to say, “Ugh that game was getting boring though, and no one won so it's probably time for something else.” He leaned over the aisle, noticing that Jack was standing in the aisle at the back of the plane chit chatting with Spades as Queen stole pretzel packets from the snack cart.

"Hey,” he called, “When's drink service?"

The three DICE members under his scrutiny froze like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t be. They were probably gossiping about him again. Great.

Jack got her bearings fairly quickly, pushing the drink cart up the aisle. "Coming right up~" She trilled cheerfully.

As she passed by to start service at the front of the plane, Kokichi noticed a little green vial tucked into Jack’s sleeve. Most likely the sleep drug Kokichi had requested before he got on the plane. Hmm. He wanted to get rid of the distractions, but he wasn’t exactly sure distractions included Shuichi anymore. The flight was still pretty long and Kokichi knew he’d be bored out of his mind forever if he didn’t get through this whole game gambit with the detective.

Another spur of the moment change of plans was in order and it hit Kokichi with yet another wave of excitement.

"Hey, Shuichi!” He exclaimed, “We should have a tea party!"

Shuichi gave him another look. “A tea party? I don't think they ha-”

Kokichi didn’t have the patience not to speedrun Shuichi’s disbelief.

“Well oooobviously you wouldn't know anything about it.” He interrupted. “I'm the leader of a super secret organization after all, so of course I know about the super secret drink menu available on all air planes.

Shuichi frowned. "But they couldn't bring anything to-” 

He stopped listening. Something something blah blah blah doubt doubt doubt. 

Kokichi shook his head dismissively, getting ready to set up an I told you so moment. 

“Just watch.”

When Jack rolled up with the drink cart she made a hand signal that told Kokichi things were going well on DICE’s end of things. "And what would you fine sirs like to drink?" She asked in a register slightly higher than usual. Jack was being smarter than Kokichi about this and had basically contoured all of her distinctive facial traits away, so Kokichi wouldn’t have to worry about Shuichi tracking her down from this interaction.

"A cup of hot green tea."

Pretty much the only reason he was going along with this impulsive plan of his was that the only person who would get any heat for it if things was south was him. He wouldn’t put DICE’s livelihoods in danger for a whim such as this.

"Sure thing!"

Was this even a whim anymore?

"And what about you?"

Of course it was.

"Shuichi here will have the same thing."

If it wasn’t then it would have to be something else.

And if it were something else, then Kokichi wouldn’t know what it was.

He couldn’t afford to be that stupid.

"Of course.” Jack smiled almost a little too fakely. “Anything added in like sugar or cream?"

She was obviously double checking that Kokichi didn’t want this bastard drugged.

"No, we're both taking it plain today."

"Oh, really? Alright then." 

She poured the tea.

“"I hear you two are on a honeymoon? That's so lovely. Can I see the rings?”

Kokichi usually appreciated that Jack was quick to catch on to things, but she was bordering on insubordination at this point. 

"You know what I hear?” Time to play real housewives of DICE with this gossip again. “That lonely flight attendants should realize they're sad and nosey losers who should keep their noses out of happy people's business."

Aw shit she was going to think he was flustered and covering up something wasn’t she.

"Teehee~ Yes sir! Enjoy the flight." Yeah she totally was on to him

Wait no because to be on to him she would have to be right and she wasn’t so there.

Oh shit wait Shuichi was still here. Looking extremely awkward and unsure if he was also supposed to start bitching at flight attendants like it was common etiquette or something.

"That was all code you know.” He brushed it off. “Super secret organization stuff. You probably wouldn't understand."

"Uh, yeah." He said, "I probably wouldn't." 

Wow this guy was funny. Kokichi was moderately glad he wasn’t in a drug induced coma right now. Moderately glad was pretty good for an airplane vis a vis emotional stability.

"Neeheehee…” He let himself laugh a little. “Drink the tea Shuichi, I've got to pull you into a false sense of security before your final trial."

Shuichi frowned. "I feel like by pointing out that you're trying to lull me into a false sense of security you have essentially not done so."

"See, but because you feel that way it means I have succeeded in lulling you."

Shuichi frowned again, but seemed to see no logic in arguing. He decided to take a sip of his tea instead. Kokichi noticed the asshole in the chair in front of him was asleep. So was the guy in the seat across from his, and the woman in front of that guy was dozing too. Everyone else had a drink and would be soon to follow.

Everyone except for…

“So how do you like the tea, Shuichi?” Ouma asked.

Shuichi was drinking that hot leaf juice like a pro who didn’t even feel the burn. He made a contemplative expression.

“It’s pretty good as far as tea goes.” He shrugged. “I’m more of a coffee guy.”

Kokichi felt a little offended on the behalf of DICE’s custom blend as well as all of the classy tea drinkers in the world. He shook his head

"Fff, what are you, a cop or something? Next you’ll be telling me you like donuts more than cupcakes." 

Shuichi made a weird face before looking away. 

"Holy shit," Kokichi said. This was the perfect time to both change the subject and do a little investigating of his own. " Are you a cop? Like a really funny undercover cop who decided to pretend to be someone with the exact same job?"

"Uh, no, that's not it." 

Was it something about the donuts then or- wait no that was stupid it was obviously the cop thing. 

Shuichi was looking out the window now. "I, uh, did used to be a force detective."

"Huh," Kokichi remarked, trying to peek around at Shuichi's face, "Were you fired or something? You must've been pretty bad to get fired from some backwater police station."

"No that's not it." He seemed to be leaning into some sort of memory, "I quit actually…"

Ugh, who gave this fucking loser the right to be interesting. It was totally unfair.

Kokichi kept digging, "Man why wouldn't you want to be a cop. Clearly the most respectable public service someone can provide for their country…" but that was totally a lie. Cops suck.

Shuichi frowned. "I, uh, kind of disagree with that." He was pulling at his fingers like he was trying to stretch them like taffy. "I met a lot of people on the force who really did care about making the community better, but I feel like the existence of law enforcement is really a symptom of larger societal problems, and that the structure of power doesn't work to reduce crime or violence but instead works increase it by giving a group of privileged individuals the power to instill generational trauma in communities."

Uh… huh. Kokichi took a moment to process that because he had never thought about “cops = bad” beyond their innate fuddy duddy inclinations to stop him specifically from doing whatever the hell he wanted. What the fuck? Did this guy actually have, like, opinions??? And legitimate reasons for them??? Who gave him the right??? How could Kokichi hear more of them???

Pff wait he was probably some rich kid who took maybe one social justice class in college and became a stooge of the state anyway. Maybe he was, like, a real policeman's embittered assistant or something.

"That's lame." He lied, "cops are the cops, do you want folks to be murdering people left and right all the time??? I bet you've never even met a criminal." Hehe that one was a bit ironic, he'd laugh about it later.

Shuichi furrowed his brow at him, "Well, I have… I was a homicide detective, actually. I've arrested murderers in person many times..."

What???? Is this what talking to all strangers for extended periods of time was like? You found out they actually had lives? And cool careers? That they made their livings in murder?

Nah, Shuichi was probably an exception. You don't meet an anti cop homicide detective everyday after all…

Kokichi decided he was being too endeared so he planned out a new branch of conversation that would hopefully make Shuichi squeamish, or at least unnerved.

He put on his best enthusiasm face. "Tell me about a murder! Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Shuichi blinked at him, surprised at his sudden shift in mood. "Uh, alright then…" he said.

Shuichi started to go into detail about a case he had solved his first year on the force. Some guy turned up dead in a public pool and everyone else had basically given up on the case. Shuichi was describing how he figured it out through deductions and use of specific forensic techniques, and to be honest he wasn't exactly a master of suspense. Kokichi was able to deduce the murderer from the details Shuichi chose to include. No, none of that was why he was completely mesmerized with Shuichi while he talked.

Hearing about the things that Shuichi did to get to the evidence in the first place was… impressive???

No that couldn’t be right. 

Maybe it was just weird to see a mousey guy like him get as jazzed up as Kokichi about solving murders, and not even in a weird or vaguely creepy way. He just seemed like… Kokichi hadn't thought about it in a long time but when he was a kid he read a shit ton of mystery manga, where the heroes were detectives. He had since then moved on to more sophisticated literature such as airplane diagrams and police radio transcripts, but Shuichi reminded him of those detectives instead of the old fuddy duddies with which he had begun to associate the profession. He was just kind of… cool. Yeah that was the word for it. Cool. Like he was always going to get around to the right answer no matter what. Yeah, he had that abstract "coolness" factor that had drawn Kokichi to protagonists as a kid.

Kokichi wanted to steal it from him. Break his composure, become the center of the stage in this narrative. Yet, at the same time he suddenly dreaded his own inevitable heel turn. This was something rare, he decided, getting to talk one on one with Shuichi like this. It would probably never happen again.

So Kokichi listened. He teased, interjected, and prompted superfluous explanations, but he listened. 

And Shuichi talked. He talked about murder most foul, crooked cops, elusive evidence, and the friends he made along the way. Shit straight out of a manga that Kokichi was spending his Saturday morning hyper-fixating on.

The conversation only ended when Shuichi had to get up to use the toilet. A stark reminder that manga wasn’t real and in meatspace human beings had to shit every now and then. Kokichi watched him go and felt a little sad. Like he knew whatever it was worth, the moment had passed. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and now all he had was to dissect it over and over again in his head until it became mangled beyond recognition...

Yeah yeah ok, world's tiniest violin, scattered ashes, ceremonial boat burning, yadda yadda.

Kokichi had a heist to pull off, no time for any of this silly stuff. He dismissed whatever weird feelings were bubbling in his chest and decided to go with the more practical inspiration that struck him. He took a couple seconds to plan out his grand exit. He decided to leave Shuichi a note and justified to himself that heists had been getting boring lately and as a proper game master he should give Shuichi a hint. Hmm were his initials too much? It might seem like…

Well he didn't really know what it seemed like, which was weird because he was a genius. Was he actually trying to figure out how Shuichi would react to this? He hadn't really thought about what Shuichi's opinion of him had been because he had only started thinking of Shuichi as an actual person halfway through the flight. That was the thing about being in a close knit organization, he always thought about DICE as an extension of himself and everyone else as some sort of nebulous other he had to predict the movements of. Sometimes he forgot that if you spent a lot of time talking to some stranger you find out they have brains and lives and stuff.

Speaking of things that probably have brains and lives and stuff, things seemed to be going good with DICE. Jack had signaled him that she told everyone about the plan when she came by to collect trash. 

Of course, he and Shuichi were the only ones she took trash from. Everyone else was fast asleep, all according to plan. Kokichi had written some last minute details on a napkin he had put in the trash bag, so they all knew they were dropping soon. 

They were also all probably gossiping about him. He supposed that's what he got for ditching them to sit with a detective dressed in black like a sexy motorcycle. Wow that was terrible where did his brain even get that line and how could he use it to make Shuichi freak out. Probably pretty easily...

Except if everything went according to plan maybe he wouldn't have the chance. Not like this. He imagined himself yelling the comment at Shuichi from the safety of a getaway chopper, like in the movies…

Ok his note was basically done now. Oh hmm. This actually seemed kind of desperate, the note. It kind of screamed "track me down to the end of the world please" like some sort of piss baby cry for help. 

Aw shit. He was thinking about what Shuichi thought about him again...

Speak of the devil and he shall appear but Kokichi was already here and hadn't talked about himself in a bit, so Shuichi showed up instead. His hands were wet which meant he washed them and goddammit it was insufferable how tolerable this guy was. Did he have no weaknesses besides being generally awkward and also being someone who used to be a cop? Ugh wait the latter was kind of cool too. Insufferable.

Well you know what they say, if you can't beat em plan to jump off an airplane because you did beat them they just don't know it yet.

Kokichi decided their final trial together deserved some dramatic build up, so he bowed to Shuichi as he got up to let him sit back down. 

"Welcome, combatants." He illustriated, "Take your seat and prepare for the final trial."

Shuichi gave him a wary look as he slid back into his seat. 

"What is it this time?" he asked.

Kokichi considered pulling out the crying on that one, but got too excited about how Shuichi would react to his pulling out the knife instead. Thusly he reprimanded the detective’s lack of enthusiasm with a single tsk.

“You could stand to be a little more concerned mister detective, it’s your life on the line after all.” 

Shuichi gave him a dubious look, like he trusted airport security and general societal norms to keep him from being murdered. 

Kokichi wanted to tear down the walls of that trust.

He pulled out the knife.

Shuichi’s reaction was instantaneous. He practically jumped away from Kokichi in his seat. Weirdly enough... that just made Kokichi realize they had been sitting pretty close before...

How did that happen?

Eh no time for that.

“Is that a knife?” Shuichi yelped, “How did you get a knife on the plane?”

It was weird how Shuichi stuttered about everything except things that were actually dangerous. Well maybe Kokichi having a knife wasn’t really dangerous, but Shuichi didn’t know that and here he was saying complete words. Sentences and all. And yet it still had the streak of incredulity running through it that shot through to Kokichi’s head faster than his own signature panta-redbull blend.

“Oh, a villain's got his ways.” He said in a way that he thought was pretty cool and mysterious.

Shuichi still seemed to be panicking a bit and Kokichi was getting a little tired of that so he brushed past it.

“Now this game's pretty easy to understand, but you gotta be skilled,” he explained matter of factly, “I'll go first to show you how it's done.”

When some other kids had showed him this game when he was an even tinier bastard they had started off slow and slowly sped up. But he was still kind of leaning into the shock factor, and going slow was lame. He started stabbing the table through his fingers at a breakneck pace.

“H-hey!” Shuichi exclaimed (oh so now he stutters), “You're gonna hurt yourself doing that!”

“Pff, as if I would.” 

The thing about this game is that it required rhythm, and rhythm required predictable repetition, and being predictable was the antithesis to everything that brought him joy in life.

He sped up.

“Here it's really easy.”

He went even faster.

The knife went *thuck thuck thuck* as it massacred the table.

When you did something the same way for a long time it gave you time to think about things. It didn’t really give you anything specific to think about, though, so Kokichi always felt like he was wasting time.

The knife went *thkthkthk* between his fingers.

He wanted to consider next steps. How long he would do this for and what would he do if Shuichi lost the game… Instead he started thinking about when he learned the game. He remembered he had picked it up from some of the older kids at one of the homes. The only other thing he remembered about them was one time they had stood by a rose bush with him, tearing off thorns and pushing them into their fingertips. Kokichi had done it and remembered that it didn’t feel like anything at all.

*Schlick*

Your fingers are full of blood vessels and nerves, but if you push down to the cartilage-

Oh wait. 

“Agh!” Shuichi exclaimed from beside him, “You’re bleeding!”

Kokichi was bleeding.

He was looking at his hand. His knife had nicked a millimeter of skin on the inner side of his ring finger, just at the junction between the tip of his finger and the second part of the ligament. It occurred to him that he was in pain.

“Ow,” He said on instinct. Or maybe he thought it in his head. It didn’t matter because he was busy also thinking about how Shuichi had just grabbed his wrist and pulled it over to him.

The detective placed Kokichi’s hand in his lap like a sandwich he was saving for later while he ruffled through his coat pockets. He drew out a bandaid and lifted Kokichi’s hand again. His fingers were longer than Kokichi’s, and they felt sort of cold, like his blood had better places to be than his fingertips. They were very, very gentle as they wrapped a bandage around the bleeding finger. Almost like Shuichi cared or something.

The detective’s greyish green eyes flickered up to him and Kokichi realized Shuichi had really long eyelashes. “You really ought to be more careful.” He said in his soft way.

Kokichi was honestly having more emotions than were necessary about this, so he focused on the annoyance.

Man, good at figuring things out, is interesting, has opinions, and actually cares about other people? Was this guy even a real person??? That seemed like too many character traits. Geez Shuichi, why did mom let you have all of the attractive personality qualities?

Did he say attractive? He meant annoying. 

Shuichi squinted at him. His eye lashes weren’t that long, he was wearing eyeliner. Kokichi had already noticed that. He just had to start thinking coherent thoughts again.

“What is it? Are you alright?”

Yeah, for sure.

Shuichi was still holding his hand and Kokichi decided it was time to not be touching another person again, so he quickly whipped it away. He tried to settle into a boastful kind of hands behind the head pose, but worried that the effect was lost by the sudden squirming of emotions in his gut.

"Geez," Kokichi said petulantly, "I can't believe you actually beat me."

He stomped everything down. It was time for action not... not whatever this was.

Shuichi blinked at him in confusion. "Beat you? But I didn't even play…"

"Doesn't matter." Kokichi shifted to a new pose where he leaned his arm on the rest in between them and propped his head up, positioned for his next steps. "The rules were if I cut myself I lose, and I lost."

“...Although, it doesn't matter if you join my organization or not anymore, Shuichi."

Shuichi looked at him in confusion and Kokichi found it kind of frustrating that he didn’t know which aspect of this that Shuichi was contemplating. 

“Uh, it doesn’t?”

Very eloquent, Shuichi, that clears things up.

"Nope." Kokichi moved a bit so that both elbows rested on the arm rest and propped his head up closer to Shuichi’s. "Because I've already done something much more important than winning."

As Kokichi leaned in Shuichi leaned back. Shuichi was staring pretty intensely at his eyes which made this the perfect opportunity. Kokichi’s hands went lightly down to Shuichi’s waist, where he put the detective’s seat belt into a dreadknot.

“W-what's that?” The detective stammered, no doubt as alarmed by the proximity as Kokichi had anticipated.

Kokichi hadn’t really anticipated what he would say next though.

He went with, “I've stolen your heart.” He felt a millennia of DICE movie nights spent making fun of romantic comedies crash against his soul and decided to change the genre before he embarrassed himself. “Because I'm a thief you know?”

He was practically breathing in Shuichi’s ear by now, which made this next part a little hard. He unbuckled his seatbelt. Then, in a fluid motion Kokichi’s hands went behind his head as he arched to place them on the aisle armrest. He did a handstand for an instant on the arm rest before landing his feet across the aisle on to some poor bastard’s tray table.

When he came up for air he observed that he had knocked a cup over and that Shuichi had just noticed his own seat belt malfunction. The detective’s look of dawning realization felt like a standing ovation.

"Hmmm, I really should kill you, now that you've seen my face," and maybe he would if DICE were that kind of organization. It was kind of troubling that the police would get sketches, and the gang would probably harrang him about it. But eh, what can you do. 

Certainly not murder. You can’t just murder people. That’d be dumb. Boring even.

Kokichi hopped down from the tray table and grabbed his heist bag. It would’ve been bad to forget that, he considered as he pulled out his mask, Louvre cameras are a lot more reliable than a half asleep detective’s recount.

Said detective was certainly fully awake now, looking at Kokichi in an utterly gobsmacked manner. Kokichi felt like he was sinking his teeth into the stem of a rose thrown from the audience.

"... But I think that'd be a waste, don't you?" Maybe the trouble was what he was looking for, after all. He wondered if they would fingerprint the arm rests when the plane touched down. They wouldn’t find any matches in any criminal database, so it didn’t matter much to him. He put on his gloves anyway before tossing Shuichi the note he had written.

No time for second drafts. He thought as he started walking down the aisle.

“Somebody! Stop him!” Shuichi yelled from behind him. It was so manga detective that Kokichi wanted to scream.

The rest of DICE was already getting up with their parachutes on, and a few turned towards Shuichi’s call. Thank goodness they were wearing their masks because he wasn’t sure if Shuichi could still see down the aisle or not. He might’ve seen Jack’s face, but she had been wearing a lot of makeup so it was probably fine.

She certainly didn’t seem concerned. She was checking the knots the only actual flight attendant on the plane was trussed up in.

Ace, always a little over eager, wrenched open the emergency exit as Kokichi was still putting his parachute on. He felt the drastic change of air pressure in those spaces you feel it in your skull and stomach. He hadn’t realized how warm the inside of the plane was until the cold air sucked it out. 

He used convenient zippers to close up his hoodie pockets, knife included, and buckled up the rest of the parachute’s straps.

He looked back, just once. Shuichi was peering out at him in the aisle. He looked like his world was ending and Kokichi reveled in the power of that. That he was just that important to this detective.

The curtains are about to drop but there are still people screaming in the balconies.

He smiled.

The encore wasn’t up to him.

“So long, Mr. Detective!" He got to the window. "Better luck next time.”

Kokichi jumped back first out of the plane and the walls and the aisles and the lights of the plane slipped out of view through the emergency exit one by one.

And he fell.

He fell and flipped over to take in the view of Paris below. The city of lights indeed. It was beautiful, he supposed.

He fell, letting himself enjoy the breeze a bit before reaching terminal velocity. 

He didn't though. 

Enjoy it. 

It felt like getting on a fucking awesome roller coaster except it’s also your every day ride to your job at some dead end minimum wage desk.

It was… boring. Routine.

Just victory, just the Louvre, just air.

Even as the other members of DICE whooped and hollered on their descent, Kokichi realized the fun part of the heist was already over. The whole heist was over.

He could predict it all.

He would deploy his parachute, he would float down to the Louvre, and he would orchestrate a perfect heist.

But Kokichi Ouma realized then that he would never stopped falling.

[the-secret-life-of-bi]

I finished playing Déraciné a couple of days ago, and I have been OBSESSING over it. I just want to make an appreciation post for my favorite character: Herman.

I'm case you've never played, these are the characters your interact with, six orphans and their de facto dad, the Headmaster:

(Marie drew every portrait except her own, which 6yo Rozsa did, in case you were wondering why one of these things is not like the others.) Look at that sweet boy at the top right-hand side there. That is my son.

Why a special post for Herman? Well, beyond the fact that I have a soft spot in my heart for boys with blueish-lavender hair, he's also objectively the coolest character in this game.

He climbs trees as a personal quirk, and that honestly makes him such a mood.

Look at him, sitting up there without a care in the world. Maybe pondering the mysteries of life. Probably taking another nap. Marie is jealous because she is not nearly as cool as Herman Sleeps-in-Trees. (I'm not kidding, she pretty much just says it outright.)

Look how PEACEFUL he is up here!

It's not just trees. The boy climbs on EVERYTHING, including the roof. Not to mention, he breaks into buildings when the deed needs be done. A lovable rapscallion.

Lastly, he is the bravest of his siblings. MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD, YOU ARE WARNED.

When faced with the evil faerie, his other siblings are either clueless (poor, sweet Nils) or scared pissless (I love you Lorinc, but toughen up bub). But Herman knows just enough that he SHOULD be terrified. He's like, 13? And he is faced with certain death. Yet instead of running away like a bat out of hell with his older brother, he sits and thinks. How can he protect his little sister in the house? The old man who told them about the evil faerie is gone, disappeared in front of them. Lorinc has just fled with the cat, their only real protection. He's pretty much out of options; the best that he can do is create a distraction. So you help him get fire for his torch, and he goddamn SMILES when you help him like the soft, sweet boy he is, then immediately gives up his life in an attempt to save his sister's. LOOK AT THIS BRAVE BOY.

So determined, so resigned to the possibility of death. I wish I had the bravery of a 13-year-old boy in a hat.

I FORGOT TO MENTION THE HAT. He wears it everywhere, like a fucking security blanket. He hides things under it, including the key they use to leave the house (which was inarguably a terrible idea, but I still admire his sense of adventure alongside his bold stupidity and lack of self preservation).

Anyways, this is a long way to say that we stan Herman from Déraciné in this house.

(The vial in his hand is stomach medication because all of the children are apparently sickly/vulnerable in some way and he has belly issues. 100% relatability, Herman.)

[sailor-cresselia]

Zero One 01: A JUMP TO THE SKY TURNS TO A RIDER KICK

Okay, I’m gonna start liveblogging from the start of a show this time! Because oh wow, just watching this live was a trip… and now I get to properly understand it. >:3

––––

So, it appears that the shot of a HumaGear in the shadows in the trailer was not, in fact, in the satellite, like the trailer implied. Instead, he’s from the Hiden Intelligence sizzle reel.

Said sizzle reel also includes a shot of the “HumaGear Skin Fitting Gate System”. That’s the part of the manufacturing process that gives them their human-like appearance, as opposed to the base robot form.

Interestingly, each of the newly-humanized HumaGear has a rectangular tattoo, with some sort of hexagonal design in it. The male one has it on the left side of his chest, and the lady we see up close has it dead center a little below her collarbone.

The support HumaGear that they show next all have it on the side of their necks. And isn’t that a handy way to tell who’s a HumaGear, if they ever elect to make the ‘ears’ smaller?

Actually, I think the lower part of it has the Hiden Intelligence logo, and the top is the hexagon glyph. Still can’t get a good look at it, though.

Also, it’s probably a very bad idea to have all of your HumaGear managed via a single broadcast satellite. I’m just saying, with tech this advanced and ubiquitous, having some backups might be to your benefit.

–

So, Hiden Korenosuke, Aruto’s grandfather, was 75 when he died. Additionally, he wasn’t just the CEO of Hiden Intelligence – he was the founder.

The news spot about his funeral is being played on a giant hovercraft, via holographic screens.

I really do love how we’re clearly going all-in from the start on ‘this is not the mainline World of Riders.’

Meanwhile, Aruto shows us his dumb puppy nature right off the bat, being late for work despite having set five alarms.

We zoom out on the city, seeing the hovercraft in better detail than the grounds-eye view from before. We also see that the Hiden Intelligence headquarters absolutely dwarves the surroundings.

The logo appears on screen. When it zooms in for the transition, the black of the ‘01’ becomes a tightly layered pattern of binary.

–

There’s no opening credits today, since it’s the first episode and all. Opening Credits on the first day is not how Takashi Yuya-san rolls, as we saw during Ex-Aid.

The sponsor segment, however, does exist. It shows Zero One and his bike – which doesn’t have an individual name yet that I can find, just the term for the phone that has as a primary form. It’s a really cool shot, too. They’re under a blacklight. I’d thought they were glow-in-the-dark when I watched the raw, but seeing this in better quality shows that the blue and red accents are reacting, too.

That is so cool.

–

Aruto nyooms to the amusement park on his bike, because he’s super late. Turns out he’s a comedian in a stage show, with a truly hideous blue sequened suit and oversized red bowtie. His act is supposed to be a Manzai show… excpet for how he’s absolutely terrible.

Like, to the point where his straightman is his phone.

There are exactly two people in the audience… and it’s an older couple, who aren’t even watching. They’re having lunch.

This kills the Aruto.

–

And so does the fact that he’s fired. As his manager says, the era’s more suited to HumaGear entertainers.

Aruto disagrees – how could an AI understand a person’s sense of humor?

And then Ab-cruncher Taro, a HumaGear comedian, comes on stage for his act… and the audience loves it. Including the older couple from Arutos act.

I mean, this might be in part that nobody in World of Zero One likes manzai anymore, too, but also Aruto’s just terrible, and this guy did have a pretty decent pun on ad-libbing… as he exploded his abs off.

The manager points out that everyone is laughing, that having such a lively theme park is his dream. Aruto feels the same – he just wants to make people laugh, that’s all.

…Except that his now-former manager is already walking off. He already has someone who can make the crowd laugh, and Aruto really should find a new dream.

–

A car pulls up to Hiden Intelligence HQ, with Fukuzoe Jun and his HumaGear assistant, Shesta. I really like her red-and-grey outfit, not gonna lie.

Anyway, he’s the vice president of HI, and, admittedly rather justifiably, assumes that he’s the new CEO. He’s got quite an ego on him, apparently, because the funeral was today. He’s already got his portrait commissioned, made, and ready to be lowered over the portrait of the late CEO. And it’s larger, dwarfing the old one.

Dude.

Maybe you should have waited a bit on getting the portrait. Like, at least until after the funeral.

Just saying.

–

We switch to somewhere called ‘Daybreak Town.’

…It’s surrounded by massive, high-tech security fences. And is a bit of a crater. A flooded one.

Entering a run-down, semi-abandoned room, we meet Horobi and Jin. Admittedly, we don’t hear their names, but that’s who they are. Horobi is stoic and calm, and Jin… well, he’s basically an even more hyper Parad.

Horobi says that now that CEO Hiden is dead, they can start the Magear Plan.

…Jin, what was that you were messing around with on that stand?

Jin’s probable attention issues aside, Horobi goes to explain a bit further, while unplugging a pseudo-driver from a cable, probably where it was being programmed. They’re going to use the HumaGear singularity – that is, the hypothetical point when Artificial Intelligences become more intelligent than humans, often including sentience. Bascially, they plan to use that to surpass humanity… somehow. As he’s saying this, he takes a Progrise Key out of a holder, and we get a few shots of the room.

The MetsuboJinrai.NET emblem is on the wall, and we see some of the assorted items. Including a katana, for some reason. And, on a platform with the same pattern as where Jin was messing around earlier? That is a gun right there. Yay!

Horobi hands the driver and key to Jin, while saying that it’s time to annihilate humanity… just like this city was, long ago.

Zoom out from his face, where he stands under a beam of light… that is coming in from a hold in a ceiling. That is to day, the hole in a roof, of a former apartment building.

Zoom out further to see that it’s one of the handful of buildings around the perimeter of the flooded crater.

At the very center of said crater? Underwater?

That sure looks an awful lot like the satellite that controls the HumaGear.

This is why you have redundant backup systems, folks.

–

So, at this point, Aruto’s got Shotaro’s meme faces, Emu’s pratfall humor (although thankfully toned down a bit), and Sento’s phone. Now we’ve also got Kabuto’s Shibuya disaster 2.0.

This is fine.

–

At Hiden Intelligence, we see a room labeled ‘Three Dimensional Printing System’. Like, it actually says that in English, same as the gate earlier. An Ai starts speaking, saying that it’s receiving orders from BS-ZA – the broadcast satellite. What does the ZA stand for? Who knows! The sizzle reel didn’t actually tell us that.

I can not understate how incredibly concerned about the ‘we have a single point of control for all of this technology’ thing that’s going on.

Anyway, a holographic pattern gets displayed inside the printing… room, I guess, and two manufacturing robot arms emerge and start. Uh.

Okay, so. That’s not how 3D printing usually works. You can’t really makes something solid out of beams of light. That’s not how it should have worked with the HumaGear skins earlier, and it’s not how it should work now.

Unless, like, it’s not light? It could somehow be a sort of plasma version of the materials needed? But it was able to make, like, the hair and eyes and such for the HumaGear earlier, so… ugh. I’m putting too much thought into it.

My hangups about how things work aside, they’re making the driver.

Outside of this room, in an office, a female HumaGear in white and teal is sitting, inactive, until she receives orders from the satellite. She gets up, and goes to fulfill her task.

Hi Izu! I didn’t notice that you had little teal highlights in your hair before! There’s just these little streaks hidden in there. It’s cute.

–

A dejected Aruto walks his bike away from the amusement park, lamenting his inability to get the crowd to laugh. Sorry bud, but you’re just not funny.

A car pulls up, Izu stepping out. She identifies her ‘target’ via the object recognition analysis that CEO described in the sizzle reel earlier. I didn’t notice before, but even though they still says peoples names in the ‘family name first’ order, the HUD shows them with given name first. Interesting.

She describes him as a ‘self described’ comedian, who is unknown. We see her face during this, before she blinks and looks downward.

Aruto’s on the ground. He’s collapsed.

Izu has known him for all of less than a minute, has no real personality of her own (yet), and is already roasting him.

When he asks who she is, she tells him that her name is Izu, and she’s the President’s secretary. Please note that she does not say which president, which probably only furthers Aruto’s confusion.

–

Back at the comedy stage, we’ve got… a human manzai duo, who are getting a laugh out of the crowd. So, it’s just that Aruto’s terrible, not that they don’t do manzai anymore.

Backstage, Taro sits, presumably waiting for his next set. He’s playing back the crowd as they laugh at his joke, and oh nooo he’s smiling so widely. He’s so proud that he was able to make them laugh! Taro is a good guy and I feel really bad for what’s coming.

Not!Parad Jin ominously comes up from behind. He doesn’t say anything more than that he’s found him, before taking the imitation driver and slapping it onto Taro’s waist.

I like absolutely NONE of the hacking process! Not the red circle of light around the buckle as the driver activates. Not the fact that the ‘belt’ starts off as fuck-off huge cable strips with ‘connector pins’ on them. Of course, since said cables are basically as wide as an arm, this means the connecter pins are more like giant spikes.

Not the fact that they jam into poor Taro, and he immediately starts seizing up with red sparks everywhere.

Not him dropping to his knees, making pained sounds.

Not Jin saying ‘You’re my friend now, so go wreak havoc on this place!”

Not the fact that he says that with a smile.

–

Elsewhere, a belt has just finished being printed, and is now being assembled and given a spiffy new coat of paint.

–

Taro is trying to not do the thing, because his job is making people laugh.

Jin chuckles. Not anymore. Now his job is destroying humans.

We switch to Taro’s perspective, and see a download progress bar fill and complete. It has ‘metsubojinrai.net’ written underneath it. When it completes, the display is replaced with their logo.

Taro cries in pain, and his memory of the crowd turns greyscale. He reopens his eyes, and instead of the cool blue light they were lit with before, they’re glowing red.

Tonelessly, he says that he is connected to metsubojinrai.net, and the ‘connecting’ lights on his earpieces glitch from blue to red.

Jin hands him the Progrize key from earlier.

–

The driver’s done.

–

We switch to the Hiden Intelligence boardroom. Jun had called a board meeting earlier, and for some reason, Izu received instructions to bring Aruto there.

Nearly everyone in the room has a HumaGear secretary standing behind them. Shesta’s tattoo is on her left wrist, and Izu’s is on the back of her left hand.

The meeting was called to read the CEO’s will. Apparently, nobody even knew he had a grandson, much less one like Aruto. According to Izu, because he is, in fact, related to the CEO, and the CEO had requested he be there, there won’t be problems regarding the legality of all of this with Aruto here. She slides the will in front of him, and walks out of the room.

Jun tells him to hurry up and read it, he’s got to get to work taking over as CEO.

Aruto opens the envelope, and starts reading – forgetting to read out loud, because he’s just a confused puppy. (He’s 22, he’s legally an adult, but that does not stop him from being a dumb puppy.) He looks incredibly distressed over what’s in the will.

It’s ominously shown with a red static overlay, is hand-written, and segments of it are appearing on top to highlight themselves.

And I have no idea why some of the overlaid words are highlighted in red, because I don’t know Japanese.

Jun, frustrated with Aruto’s distress and lack of reading out loud, grabs the paper away from him.

“In the near future, our company will face a serious crisis.” Jun’s brow furrows, and the rest of the room starts muttering, wondering what crisis that could be. “The HumaGears that our company was making will be misused and will attack humanity.” This shot goes from Jun reading to a generic HumaGear, his eyes turning red, and zooming out to show that it’s a crowd of them, in a ruined city. They all crouch down and start. Freaking. Swarming, on all fours. It’s absolutely terrifying, especially when one leaps up at the viewpoint, shrieking. (It’s the same ‘vocal’ sound effect from the bugster unions, by the way.)

Back in reality, the boardroom is starting to panic a bit. Izu comes back through the door, carrying a briefcase. Jun resumes reading. “There is only one counter measure: the Zero One driver and Progrise Key.” Izu opens the briefcase, revealing the items in question. “Built into it is the new era’s security system, in order for human hands to take control of the HumaGear.” Aruto looks at the case and driver, his expression blank.

Jun continues, with us scrolling down the will. “Only the company’s President is authorized to use it.” He can’t restrain his grin. “And my successor whom-” his face falls “I entrust this to is my grandson, Hiden Aruto?!”

Nobody expected this, least of all Aruto.

“I want him to become a part of staff, and overcome the company’s crisis. That is all.”

Jun is not okay with this, and neither is the rest of the board. He’s treating this like a family business, that’s absurd! I mean, never mind that he was the founder.

All of them start protesting over one another, before Aruto yells at them all to calm down. He then says that there’s no way he can be a president. He just wants to make people laugh. Without another word, he picks up his duffle bag and walks out.

Izu tilts her head, blinking confusedly.

–

As Aruto, somber, rides the elevator down, he thinks back to when he was a little kid.

A tiny little Aruto is trying to practice a routine with someone who seems to be his father, who laughs a little. Babby Aruto insists on trying again, because he wasn’t laughing from the heart.

The man says that the result will always be the same. His headphones are white and blue – namely, with blue lights, the same color as a HumaGear’s earpeices.

Aruto swears that he’s going to make his dad laugh – oh no, this is his dad.

An explosion goes off, and blue fire fills the screen.

Little Aruto wakes up, on the ground, his father next to him.

His father, with sections of his skin blasted off, revealing a mechanical, HumaGear face underneath, bleeding blue and dying. “Aruto… head towards your dreams… jump to them…”

The shot zooms out, with elementary schooler Hiden Aruto crouched over his HumaGear father, surrounded by rubble and flames.

–

In the present, Aruto watches as Jun’s portrait is lowered off the wall. He apologizes to his grandfather.

–

At the comedy stage, the manzai act is still going on. Everyone applauds as they finish, the manager included. It looks like Aruto is about to go ask for his job back, but he hesitates, thinking back to what the manager had said. It looks like he’s trying not to cry as he turns back around to leave.

As he turns, someone shouts to be let go.

The hijacked Taro is holding another HumaGear, probably one of the staff, by the collar as he walks on stage, before tossing him to the side. “My job is to make people laugh…” Taro’s viewpoint is shown, red static overlaying the glitching sight of the crowd as they start to back away. “…and to annihilate them.”

He activates the key, and inserts it into his driver. Red ‘wires’ extend from the buckle, breaking into and through the key.

I am not okay with any of this transformation sequence!

Not with the fire burning away his human appearance.

Not with how his normal HumaGear face withdraws and reveals what is basically a robot skull.

Not with how his jaw opens wide, and green… I dunno. Green pipes come out of his mouth, and start surrounding him in what is basically the Mad Rogue transformation.

Not with the orange dna spiral that lights up around him, and turns purple before the whole thing – spiral and pipes alike – burst out of existence, leaving Taro as the Berotha Magear.

As per Rider Wiki: The name Berotha is from Kujiberotha teruyukii, an extinct insect that lived in the Cretaceous period. It’s a recently named type of thorny lacewing, which are closely related to mantises. Aka, the species that Berotha takes his appearance from.

Two HumaGear staffers go to try and stop him, but he tosses both of them to the side, and proceeds to use whip-like extenstions to attack them… and overwrite their programming, shredding their human appearances and causing their original faces to retract. they’re left with the skull appearance briefly, before full faceplates slide down, creating the anonymous mooks of the season. They run off stage to attack.

The manager watches all of this, stunned. Aruto watches, before running at Berotha and tackling him around the middle, trying to stop him. He gets thrown into a sign for his attempt.

–

In another section of… oh lord. In another section of ‘Giggle Dreamland’, we see that there are a lot more than two mooks now. A van pulls up, the body-armored grunts of AIMS grabbing machine guns as they rush out and get in formation.

Yaiba Yua, who will eventually be Kamen Rider Valkyrie, steps out as well, saying that they are to collect data on the rampaging HumaGear and that they need to- she’s cut off by machine gun fire. Fuwa Isamu, who will eventually be Kamen Rider Vulcan, gives the order to destroy all of them.

As Yua says, at least let her finish before you start going all gun-happy!

–

Aruto, now distinctly missing his jacket and bag, gets to his feet, seeing the destruction all around him. MaGear mooks are attacking people, and ohhh nooo I think they’re repeating some of their stock ‘amusement park employee’ phrases as they do it, and that’s just tragic.

The whole area is a shambles, and the manager is on his knees in despair. Aruto remembers how the manager had said that making people laugh with joy was his dream, before Berotha comes up to the manager, extending his arm blade. Aruto tries to tackle him away, but it’s no use – he gets tossed away again. Izu runs onto the scene, carrying the breifcase. Berotha grabs the frozen manager by the collar, saying that a future where humans have dreams will never come, and starts laughing maniaclly.

Theres the sound of a heartbeat as Aruto flashes back to his father’s death.

“Don’t you laugh!” He pushes himself to his feet. “Don’t you dare laugh at someone’s dream, when you know nothing about it!”

“I do know.” Berotha starts rattling off a dictionary description of ‘dream,’ his earpieces lighting up as they connect to the web, before Aruto cuts him off.

Aruto is all but shouting. “A person’s dream isn’t so simple that you can just look it up!”

Izu looks slightly aside, averting her gaze.

“Hey! With that driver, I can do something about this, right?!” We only see Aruto’s lower face as he asks this, same as when he told Berotha not to laugh.

Izu says that yes, though it is available only to the companies president-

Aruto cuts her off, desperation written on his face as he tells her to just give it to him.

“Very well, Aruto-sama.”

She walks up, and hands him the driver and key. (In the distance, we can see that Berotha is charging energy to his mantis sickles.)

“Equip the driver to your waist.”

Glaring furiously at Berotha, Aruto places it at his waist…

There’s the sound of a heartbeat, as blue ones and zeroes glow around Aruto, and…

His soul, glowing that same bright blue, straight up leaves his body, and transports into the satellite.

(Me, a Double fan: YOOOOOOO!)

The similarities to how Philip enters the Gaia Library only increase in his visualization of the BS-ZA’s ‘cerebro’, which is a white void with occasional columns of binary scrolling upward. And written in the same font as the logo, at that.

Izu appears in there, in much the same manner – they’re both in their usual appearances again, though. Whereever they step, the binary ripples out beneath their feet. It’s a nice touch to give a sense of where the ground is, since otherwise it’s all just pure white.

She tells him that his brain is remotely accessing the satellite. He… doesn’t quite take this well.

Also, now that I have a proper back view of Izu, I can see that the earpieces have a headband behind them, so they’re basically behind the head headphones. Except, you know, most likely mounted.

Anyway, she continues. Right now, he has the same thought processing speed as an AI.

Their surroundings change, to have the void show where they are in the real world, while they appear as data projections. Just to drive the point home, she walks through the real-world Aruto.

Who is very much unconscious, standing upright with his head dropped down. Berotha’s still charging his attack, rearing back to fire.

“Left like this, in five seconds, you will die.”

Only an AI could deliver this line so casually. Aruto is not okay with this. He’s not okay with any of this.

The surroundings change again, this time to a grey and purple tinted void with hexagons in the background.

“Until then, you can learn from the manual.”

So. They’re just actually having him read the manual, in virtual form, while his real body is very, very vulnerable, so that he can learn how to use his driver.

Now This Is Kamen Rider.

‘Opening Tutorial Mode’

–

Meanwhile, over with the Zectroopers – I MEAN – AIMS troops, the machine guns do absolutely jack all against the Magear mooks. They can knock them down, sure, sending them sparking to the ground, but they just get right back up again.

Isamu, frustrated with the fact that his bullets do nothing, climbs back into the van and punches his way to grabbing what will eventually be his driver.

It seems that Yua is supposed to be his boss, because she tells him to wait, that he doesn’t have her permission – he ignores her and shoots the gun in her direction.

For a brief moment, the audience assumes he’s shooting her, but he’s aiming right over her shoulder, the ‘bullet’ sending her hair waving, and hitting a Magear mook right in the eye.

It doesn’t get back up.

Also, the top of its foot has a skeletal… well. Foot. Zero One’s going all in on the robot skeleton theme they’ve got going here, then.

Looks like Isamu’s whole attitude is ‘when in doubt, apply a bigger gun.’

–

Aruto snaps awake. “Learning complete.”

As he activates his Progrise key, Berotha launches the energy scythes.

A yellow light beams down from the satellite. It was either rapid-fire 3d printing, or it was actually teleporting, but either way. A silver grasshopper with neon-yellow lines lands in front of Aruto, blocking the attack.

Interestingly, along with the impact dustcloud, there’s yellow and blue circuitry patterns radiating away along the ground.

Hot damn I like this background music. I’d ask when we’re getting the OST, but I know the answer is ‘after the season ends,’ so instead I will just mourn my lack of soundtrack.

The grasshopper starts bouncing around Aruto as he prepares to properly transform, a holographic screen projecting from the driver in front of him. Said giant robot grasshopper is making even more of a mess of the area, and said projection is slightly 3D – the images have depth to them… and are made, of course, of closely-placed zeroes and ones.

The owner of the park is watching all of this, by the way.

“Henshin!”

We actually get to sort of see the driver reading the data on the key – kind of like when we used to see the action inside the Build Driver.

The base Zero One suit is black, with glowing red lines and a disconcerting face plate. We don’t have to see that for long though, because the grasshopper quickly dissassembles itself and turns into his armor.

In a very interesting detail, you can see it breaking down into wires and metal, and the lights that pull it towards Zero One are DNA spirals.

A JUMP TO THE SKY TURNS TO A RIDER KICK

…Hey, didn’t Aruto’s father say he should jump towards his dreams? Just saying. ;)

The grasshopper didn’t just become his armor – it also seems to have turned one of its limbs into the Attache Calibre, which makes its way to Aruto’s hand as the transformation ends.

“Who are you?!”

“Zero One! That’s my name!”

He immediately launches into an attack against Berotha, punching and kicking to great effect. Berotha tries to slash right at his feet – if he can just stop him from moving, he can annihilate him. Except Zero One leaps over the blades.

And by leap, I mean that our good grasshopper boy is now on top of the rollercoaster. Aruto is, justifiably, super impressed by his new leg power.

(I’m just saying… Aruto got the Pink Cure’s ‘WOW I can jump really high now!’ moment for this year, because Cure Star didn’t get it. She had her first fight in space, so it was already a given for her.)

Berotha is decidedly less impressed, and fires an eye beam at him. The eye laser does nothing, as despite it being almost as wide as he is tall, Zero One just tanks it as he jumps back down. As the light breaks apart around him, there seems to be a faint helix pattern there, too.

Aruto’s about to go after Berotha some more, but then he sees the owner getting attacked by a pair of mooks. Mooks who used to be his staff, and can just barely be heard stuttering around their rote phrases, repeating them without context or intellect. He goes to block them, and yells at his former boss to get out of there.

As Aruto redirects the mooks elsewhere, Izu comes running up, carrying the attache weapon that had been abandoned. She calls out to him, and throws him the case…

And it whacks him upside the head.

The mooks just watch as she apologizes, and he, rubbing his head, says he’s okay.

An honest-to-gaim insert song kicks in as they start fighting again. Like, this isn’t the OP. I’ve heard the OP. This isn’t it. This is an insert song. In episode one. It’s only a short part of it, yes, but it’s still an insert.

This is going to be a good season for music, especially since you can actually hear said insert. Not quite clearly, and it’s too brief to really get anything from aside from the tone. But that tone is awesome and I can’t wait oh god it’s going to be a long wait for this soundtrack.

Also, at some point the mooks acquired guns.

–

The insert ends when we see Not!Parad Jin bouncing in joy as he watches all of this happen from a nearby roof. “Yeah! Come on! Get ‘em! This is so fun!”

A damaged mook gets up, stuttering. “A-a-a-attention! A-a-a-a lost child has been reported!” This confirms that the mooks are, in fact, still saying their lines. It tries to attack him, because that’s what they do. He’s human, after all. (Right?)

Still giggling, Jin grabs the mooks arm as it goes to stab him, and in one smooth motion and without looking, twists it behind said mooks back, holds it around the neck, pulls out an honest-to-god gun, and shoots it in the head.

Everything goes silent for a second as the gun fires.

He doesn’t stop giggling wildly the whole time, nor does he even spare the mook a glance.

The mook falls to the ground, broken and unmoving, as he continues laughing.

It’s a normal gun. That is straight up a normal gun. Not a fancy sci-fi one, just a normal gun with normal bullets and a normal bullet casing that ejects in front of him as he laughs.

…Can we go back to our hero, please?!

–

Oh, good, we’re going back to Zero One versus Berotha. Thanks!

And thank you even more for the OP kicking in as Berotha fires a volley of energy blades. These are powerful enough to slice through cars and set off explosions wherever they hit. But they don’t even graze Aruto, not the way he jumps and rolls in mid air to dodge them.

His fighting is super graceful and deliberate, so much unlike how he moves as himself. The intro beats to the song transition into the song proper as he leaps, angled yellow lines of light trailing behind him as he uses the flying cars as jumping points, bouncing from one to the other, dodging blades all the way, before the actual bus that’s in the air comes up toward him.

He just barrels through it, still dodging the blades, using the support bars to flip and spin around and over. He manages to tap the ‘stop request’ button with his foot as he rebounds at one point, which is a hilarious little detail that they didn’t need to put in. But that lets the bus announcement of ‘stop requested’ play as he comes through the rear window right before it hits the ground.

MAN, the attention to DETAIL in this episode. I know that it’s mostly Episode One Budget in action, but damn is this promising.

Those yellow lines start following him again as he resumes his beatdown on Berotha, giving a pre-asskicking one liner. “There’s only one person who can stop you: me!” He activates his finisher.

RISING IMPACT!

A brief projection of the robo-grasshoppers foot appears over his own as he braces himself to start moving. Neat. And move he does, going faster than the camera can follow, slowing down only long enough to deliver a few punches and kicks, tossing Berotha into the air. Zero One follows suit, leaping far higher, and diving down with his Rider Kick.

He goes through the MaGear, shattering it to pieces. Gears, wires, and dark blue hydraulic fluid go everywhere, as the eyes on his helmet have a line go from front to back along the facets. Huh.

A special projection of ‘rising impact’ appears on screen as Zero Ones kick approaches the viewer, and since holo-tech is a thing here, may or may not actually be there. The key that had been used to hack Taro into Berotha, definitely cracked, also flies at the screen.

Zero One lands, digging a gouge into the path, and when he comes to a stop… Aruto twists his ankle, winds up rolling bodily into one of the buildings, and gets covered in rubble. He pulls himself up a bit using some of the debris, saying “Aaaand here’s my stop.” He collapses backward.

–

The AIMS troops seem to be wrapping up their defeat of the mooks, but as Yua says, they’ve still got a lot to do.

Isamu’s stomps on the chest of one of the downed mooks, who isn’t quite as done as he’d looked. It grabs his ankle, before he apparently shoots and shatters it, going by the sound effect.

He glares, hands trembling in apparent rage, saying that history is repeating itself.

–

Jin hands Horobi the damaged key. When Horobi ‘questions’ the damage, he just ‘asks’ “Zero One?”

Implying that there was a previous Zero One.

This implication is only furthered with Jin’s comment, as he pulls down his hood. “Seems like the previous president didn’t simply die, huh?”

We still can’t see his ears under all that hair.

The suspicion that these two aren’t human only grows. Why would Horobi want to turn humans into an endangered species if they, themselves, are human?

The ‘eye’ on the sunken satellite glows red.

–

As they exit the amusement park, Aruto’s going on to Izu about how cool he was. She says she’ll be escorting him home, calling him ‘Mister President.’

“Wait, what?!”

Turns out he completely blanked on the fact that only the president of Hiden Intelligence is allowed to be Zero One, and he accepted the position by putting on the driver.

Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen. He’s just a big ol’ puppy.

He’s protesting this fact – the president thing, not the puppy thing – to Izu when he hears a child asking the parks owner if he’s going to be closing the park.

“Not at all. A mysterious yellow hero protected it. So we’re going to keep on giving smiles to our guests!”

Aruto looks absolutely touched by his former bosses words, just by the refusal to close, and the ‘mysterious yellow hero’ part. …He has no idea that his boss knows exactly who that hero was.

Not until said boss turns to him, and winks.

Izu lifts one hand. “I have detected many smiling expressions that Master Aruto is responsible for.”

He laughs, just a little, a light chuckle at himself. “There’s more than one way to make people smile, huh��?”

He bounces the driver a little in his hands, and gets into the car.

As he buckles in, and Izu doesn’t – sweetie, I know you’re an android, and thus can’t technically die in the way most people would see death as, you should still use your seat belt and model good behavior for the kiddos watching at home – she hands him ‘the presidents’ Rise Phone. It looks like it’s just an upgraded version of his phone from earlier, or they upgraded that phone itself.

He tries to make a terrible pun about the hassle the board of directors gave earlier… which Izu, now putting on her seat belt, thank you so very much, starts explaining. Aruto cries that she shouldn’t be trying to explain the joke as the car drives away.

The episode title finally appears.

––––

Aaand that’s Kamen Rider Zero One, episode one! This is sure gonna be something, and I’m super hyped!

[yeah-oh-shit]

so im still trying to figure out wtf dracula was all about and if there is a deeper meaning at all. i compiled a list of all my observations - especially places where it might relate to sherlock, things that seem odd/out of place, important thematic moments, anything that is unexplained. idk if i will come back to this to try to piece it together more, but i needed to get it all down so i could look at it in its wholeness. in case you are interested, here is my commentary, any “points of interest,” i found, below the cut. 

episode 1:

vampirism is a contagion, sister agatha asks harker if he had “sexual intercourse” with dracula right away - aids

flies everywhere, on windows, the camera lens, one flies into harker’s eye

why did dracula let himself become such an old man? no one good to eat? (i’ve been telling everyone for years that you are what you eat)

story told by harker w/sister agatha interviewing him, almost leading him on

harker’s written account is unreliable

woman in disguise - mina (reminds me of mary)

rainbow lighting

spiral candles match spiral bedpost

sister agatha mentions a “point of interest”

dracula calls jonathan johnny (john mirror?)

inconsistencies: picture of mina changes from right to left, harker says no one calls him johnny (but mina later shows that she does - johnny blue eyes)

THERE IS NO BABY

dates - 12th, 19th, and 29th (!!)

scene very similar to the fall - “you are me,” dracula tries to get harker on his side but harker refuses

dracula says he will “destroy everyone and everything you love” in england

harker is found by sailors and said to be a drowned man walking/talking after he falls from castle dracula

lots of queer coding and it’s during the parts where dracula is shown as the most monstrous and coercive

sister agatha taunts dracula, calls him a beast (rules of the beast), he is indeed shown as beastly

dracula licks a knife in a suggestive way (moriarty)

inviting dracula in leads to death

harker doesn’t remember what happened to him (doesn’t know he is dead)

harker doesn’t know what mina’s face looks like

mina says a line much like mary’s (“i decide who you are”)

sister agatha mentions having a detective acquaintance in london (!!)

dracula is an old man for most of the episode, doesn’t come off as flirty or sexy to me, just seems coercive, controlling, and creepy. we barely get any time w/harker and dracula together, doesn’t seem like they have much chemistry

jonathan in and out of dream, weakened, coerced

he keeps going deeper into the castle and eventually discovers dracula’s undead and even dracula’s crypt itself but can’t find the person who wrote him a note

castle is a maze but jonathan discovers the map (hiding behind a portrait, deduces this in a way that makes pretty much no sense)

sun is equated to lover’s face

dracula never seems to lie, just says things in a truthful way that is obfuscated (except for when he knocks the mirror over and claims to being clumsy)

dracula wants to go to england bc he thinks the most cultured and rich people live there (aristocratic bullshit) but it is reinforced so many times that somehow him being choosy has helped him to live a long time .. confusing

episode 2:

starts w/dracula and agatha talking in his castle. dracula talks about how a story has to be interesting from the beginning, the contract between author and reader, “quality of time”

“there’s a game in progress” “a knight is menacing a queen” “whose knight, whose queen?” “Who’s black, who’s white”

ship in a bottle

whole episode takes place on a big ship

sokolov (anderson) is captain (steering the ship)

mind palace/dreaming (sr. agatha and dracula) in castle but actually in room 9 on ship

mr balaur (dragon - dracula) brought all these people together

7 passengers on the ship (unusual, stated multiple times, i don’t think we are ever told significance?)

one sick - captain is only one allowed in

piotr isn’t who he says he is

dracula kills dorabella (very flirty with her) talks about mirrors showing the truth - “one can always find a mirror if one tries” “mirrors are a deeper and more dangerous magic than most people understand. mirrors can give us space to imagine or worse, show us the truth”

“this marriage is a necessary evil”

confirmed gay couple (lord ruthven and adisa) - lord ruthven talks about sleeping with his wife in front of adisa constantly (cruel), adisa is disguised as a servant, adisa seems to really love ruthven

many people jump ship when everyone starts dying

lord ruthven is both very gay and very mean - and into dracula

dracula and agatha play chess

“the purpose of an alias seems to have alluded you” (mr. balaur means dragon means dracula, a disguise is “always a self portrait”)

dracula says he is choosy (so does agatha) but also recognizes that he is an addict (agatha’s word)  - claims to be choosy and to be like everything in same breath

dracula called a beast, acts very animal around blood - can’t control himself

agatha loses time during chess, notices dracula is winning now, is also drinking blood out of a glass

he tells her to “forget about the chess and concentrate on the game”

dracula frames agatha, almost kills her via hanging (despite trying to “savor��� her)

sister agatha claims she is a vampire and then tries to prove dracula is one

lord ruthven wants to be “partners” with dracula

somehow dracula appears out of nowhere in the cabin of dr. sharma

vampire’s kiss is an opiate - makes people dream

emphasis on the fact that the daughter can see (eyes!), her father has a scar over his right eye

dracula flirts with everyone

no one suspects dracula even though its really obvious it is him?? he is being hella suspicious?

daughter (who sees dracula killing) doesn’t tell anyone, later kills herself by drinking a potion to avoid becoming infected

sister agatha is infected/dying, losing fingernails (like harker)

dracula will die without his soil

captain sokolov stays behind in ship w/agatha, piotr and cook escape

agatha discovers extra soil in dracula’s bed, realizes the fire didn’t kill him

dracula attacks sokolov but somehow he doesn’t die and can’t walk even though his wound is in his neck but still is able to DRAG himself?

dracula explains fear of cross as fear of oppression that he has inherited from eating peasants (but he is very choosy with his diet?)

ship sinks, sister agatha dies (implied, which is confusing bc harker also goes into the sea and doesn’t die.. maybe it has to do with the fact that she doesn’t have any soil? but neither did harker? vampire lore seems convoluted and confusing) dracula finds his soil (in the water)

dracula wakes up, goes ashore, its modern day and helicopters, a spot light, police cars, and modern day sister agatha greet him

episode 3:

weird vibe generally.. almost reminds me of tfp w/lighting and how it feels so off from the rest

dracula shows us that what he sees in the mirror is who he truly is (at least that is what is implied) an old ugly man

dracula is weird and kinda cute when he is amazed by modern times

we learn that agatha apparently died even though she was just in water and harker survived and was a “drowned man walking and talking” ?

jack (another john mirror?) is in love with lucy, there are a lot of scenes in a club ?, lucy gets engaged to a texan named quincy (who was apparently a main character in the original book and is an asshole in this). all these characters kind of suck

jonathan harker keeps calling jack, we are supposed to think he saved the jonathan harker foundation’s phone number in his phone as just “jonathan harker”? seems weird

jonathan harker  foundation was started by mina, supported by agatha’s family

lots of allusions to jonathan harker foundation getting money from a “bad” source - too much money to just be about science

mercenaries - one has a tattoo like assassin in sherlock

there is a moving clock on the floor of dracula’s cell/cage

dracula asks why he has a toilet when he is a vampire and we never get an answer

dracula’s cage looks like silence of the lambs (like A LOT)

blood is LIVES, dracula helps zoe get a sample of his blood by cutting his wrist with his fingernail - tells her “you have everything you need to know” when she takes his blood (dracula tells zoe, she drinks his blood)

“women don’t have rights, no one has rights” “dracula has rights” ???

zoe starts hallucinating/communicating w/agatha

zoe is agatha’s great niece apparently

dracula does a weird deduction thing about people from smelling or tasting their blood

dracula can’t drink zoe’s blood bc she has cancer and he can’t drink blood of the dying (which seems weird but ok)

renfield (mark) is dracula’s lawyer and seems to become obsessed with him

dracula identifies as a “warlord”

renfield is helping dracula w/“world domination”

dracula is on dating apps, renfield tries to find him people to eat, but he seems dissatisfied

dracula works out (like mycroft)

dracula (d) texts lucy uses vampire emoji

lots of gay/bi/purple lighting

dracula becomes obsessed w/lucy bc she is not afraid of him (or anything) and seems “almost in love with death”

lucy is shown as shallow and obsessed with her looks, but also seems to not like always being seen/watched bc she is beautiful

dracula and lucy are meeting up and she is letting him drink her blood

they meet up and he talks about liking having her “consent” because no one has ever given it before, but also says that it doesn’t really matter and that he doesn’t love her and will never love her

lucy likes the dreams dracula gives her - no one can see her

9 graves of undead

dracula tells lucy not to be cremated because its painful

“boofer lady”- beautiful lady - undead child follows lucy home

renfield sits in a car during their meeting and eats a fly

dracula kills lucy so she can become a vampire, she can’t move but the mirror shows that she is still alive?

we see dracula’s old man face in the mirror multiple times

lucy is burned, and for some reason keeps seeing herself as beautiful in mirrors

agatha (in zoe’s head) talks about the money coming from a bad place again but says she “can’t see it” because zoe doesn’t like to think about it

lucy, jack, zoe, and dracula all meet in dracula’s house

lucy flirts w/jack and he seems disgusted, they force her to take a selfie and see herself as she really is

lucy freaks the fuck out about being ugly and burned and seems to be more obsessed with her beauty after dying which is weird because she seemed to be almost bitter about it when she was alive (didn’t care about or fear anything)

dracula says she will always be burned (why? jonathan survived being drowned, etc. dracula survived fire?) and that he doesn’t care

jack says he will always want to kiss her (even though he was just freaked out by her like 20 seconds ago) kisses her and kills her (at her request)

dracula seems unfazed? even though she was his “greatest bride” ?

zoe has been taken over by agatha? and realizes what the one thing is that dracula fears (the thing that ties together the sun, cross, and needing an invitation - apparently the soil thing doesn’t matter anymore..)

“only one thing in this world you are truly afraid of” - she knows, he doesn’t

he cannot bear to look in a mirror, won’t stand revealed in the sun, needs an invitation to come in - not real things, he has internalized the legends

zoe/agatha says that he was a warrior and so was his entire family (all his relatives, father, brothers, sons, were war heroes who died on the battlefield but not him)

he is the warlord who “skulks in the shadows and steals the lives of others”  and is “unwelcome everywhere” “sleeps in a box of dirt but dreams of a warriors grave”

he fears death the most - the cross represents going willingly to death to him, somehow the sun represents this too? (possibly he is afraid to seeing himself/the truth, same as the mirror)

it is never explained how the invitation thing is tied in.. assuming its because he feels “unwelcome everywhere” ?

she pulls the curtain and he doesn’t burn in the sun, shows him it was his fear of death and his shame all along

can’t conquer death until you face it without fear - “the game is over, you lose, you will live forever in shame”

dracula steps into sun, faces his shame

he faces his fear of death by drinking agatha’s blood, thus dying by suicide (which we were already told vampires can’t do)

gross fiery sex scene with agatha and dracula, he gives her a dream so she will have a nice death

“after all this time did you think I’d let it hurt?” ???

they are in a burning sun and are naked together in a circle, we see dracula’s butt again

it ends with the sun

[catgluue]

What Happens in Xing

I recently hit 100 followers which was super exciting for me! I really appreciate everyone who follows me and/or takes the time to like, reblog, or comment on my writing. It’s a huge motivator and seriously boosts my writerly self-esteem, such as it is.

Anyway this work takes place in my Price of Life/Portrait of a Family AU and so while that context will add to the fic (particularly the last time) it can also be read on its own. 

Read on A03

The royal palace in Xing’s capital city was nothing like Riza had ever seen. It was massive - at least the size of a city block, she thought upon first seeing it, but after walking the perimeter one humid afternoon she figured it would be big enough for the entirety of the small eastern town she grew up in to fit comfortably within its walls. Sections of the palace were clearly older, and at least one wing was walled off altogether, in need of repairs. When she’d asked their guide one day he told her that the palace had stood for at least a thousand years, although maybe not in its current form.

It didn’t escape her notice that she and General Mustang were given rooms several floors higher than the bulk of the Amestrian party; one floor higher even than Major General Kent, who was the other officer overseeing the diplomatic treatises and trade agreements they’d come here to discuss. Ling never came out and said as much, but she was certain that their rooms were some of the nicer ones in the gigantic palace: her room boasted a bed that could have fit three of her, a huge claw-footed tub, and a floor-to-ceiling window that gave her an impressive view of the city. She’d made a point, several times, to get up early and watch the sun rise over the sloping buildings so different from those at home.  

To her immense surprise the official business had been wrapped up around four days into the weeklong trip, at which point General Kent and his men promptly packed up and took the next train out.

“I suppose we’ll be leaving tomorrow as well?” Riza asked General Mustang as they stood on one of the massive balconies that overlooked the city. Nights brought some relief from the wet heat of the day; a gentle breeze blew over the wide river and across the city, making the heavy woolen uniform seem less oppressive.

“Of course not, Captain,” he said mildly. “Our train doesn’t leave for days; it’s far too late to change it now. You might actually have to take some time for yourself and relax a little. I hope that won’t prove too much of an inconvenience.”

Riza didn’t think she’d had a moment to herself to sit and read a book for close to a year and a half now what with the business with the Homunculi, Ishval, and now the Xing excursion.

“Not at all, Sir,” she said crisply, but she was smiling as she met his gaze.

The next few days they drifted around as civilians, generally together as holiday or not she was still his bodyguard, but the amount of Xingese bodyguards lent to them by the Emperor meant that Riza felt comfortable occasionally acting as ships in the night. After all, the museum of alkahestry didn’t particularly appeal to her and the General was none too interested in seeing the wing devoted to the development of gunpowder. At one point Riza looked up from her book across the  sunroom - a space with a glass roof to let light in, and a large fountain bubbling away in the middle that had quickly become one of her favorite haunts - to see Mustang in his shirtsleeves, heavily engrossed in something he’d borrowed from the Imperial library, a cup of tea in his hand. Occupying the same space as him and seeing him rested, at ease, living again was a gift she didn’t deserve but would value anyway. As though he felt her staring he’d looked up and offered a small smile. She blushed and ducked her head to go back to reading her book.

It was the morning of their last full day in the country: tomorrow they would be on the noon train heading back to Amestris. They were originally scheduled to go back yesterday- in fact the bulk of their accompanying military personnel had left - but she and the General, with a handful of soldiers, had stayed. She was standing straight-backed at Mustang’s right shoulder, thinking that if she’d been any worse a soldier she would have snuck a peek at her pocket watch already, when the reason for their delay finally entered the imperial throne room.

It was still strange seeing Alphonse Elric as a human and not as a suit of armor, but it was refreshing to see him looking robust and healthy, not like the frail wisp of a thing he’d been when they put him on the train, barely strong enough to walk on his own after The Promised Day. He and May Chang, now a young woman, made their way up the long carpeted entryway and bowed to the young emperor. Ling rose from his seat, inclined his head, and the ceremony seemed to be over.

“They certainly like processions,” the General murmured, soft enough that only she would be able to hear, while Ling and May said their informal hellos, which seemed to involve quite a lot of teasing, she noted with a smile. There was going to be a parade in a few hours, ostensibly as a homecoming for May, who had been traveling for the better part of a year, but realistically as an excuse for Ling to throw another lavish feast.

“I don’t see the harm,” she whispered back.

“Six feasts since we’ve been here, and this is the third parade,” he muttered. “It’s a little much.”

“Colonel - Oh sorry, it’s General now right? Brother mentioned in one of his letters,” Al said as he approached, offering a hand shyly but not looking at all upset when the older man pulled him into a hug instead. Not something he would have tried in-uniform but technically they were using vacation days for this last leg of the trip. With the exception of the parade later on they were dressing and acting like civilians.

“Hi Captain Hawkeye,” May said a little shyly, and Riza turned to smile at the younger woman.

“Hello May. You’ve gotten so tall,” she said. It was true; though still on the shorter side, May had grown half a foot since Riza had seen her last.

“And pretty,” Mustang added, ever the charmer. Al came over to wrap Riza in a hug and she was struck again by how much things had changed. He was taller than her, broad-shouldered and with a striking similarity to his brother, although even nearing twenty Alphonse’s face remained cherubic. She’d changed too, of course: there were lines by her eyes that hadn’t been there five years ago, and she’d cut her hair off and grown it out again, so that it now sat a little below her shoulders. Recently the heat had her thinking about cutting it as short as she’d had it when they first moved to East City all those years ago. The General was pulling something out of his pocket; a book wrapped in ribbon, and handing it to May. “I brought you something,” he said.

“Oh that wasn’t necessar- OH, General Mustang! Where did you get this?”

“You can call me Roy, and there’s certainly more where that came from, my connection is very reliable.”

“He’s talking like he got that book off the black market,” Riza said to Al, who just grinned.

“He might have; it was banned thirty years ago for the author’s, ah, unconventional ideas.” He wilted immediately under the look she gave him and put his hands up. “Nothing all that bad, promise, he was just before his time where some aspects of medical alchemy were concerned. His ideas are really interesting, if you-” Riza held a hand up.

“I’m afraid anything else is going to go over my head,” she admitted, still eyeing the book. The cover was roughened leather that still bore traces of gold leaf, and everything about this, from May’s reaction to Al’s explanation spoke to the book being very hard to get ahold of and also very expensive.

“How did you know?” May was squealing, arms clamped tightly around the General’s waist, her precious new book in her hands. Alphone grinned broadly as he pried her off of Mustang, standing with an arm casually slung over her shoulders as she turned the book over in her hands.

“I have my sources,” the alchemist revealed, with a wink at Al. “I do try to stay in touch, even though your brother and I have this game where he hangs up on me the first time and I have to wait for Winry to answer the phone and make him take the call.”

“But this must have been so… I mean, thank you very much,” May said. Riza knew enough about nonverbal communication to know that something in the look Al gave her told her to drop the subject. Her own sharp look at the General was met with careful avoidance. There was of course nothing wrong with bringing a gift to an eager young scholar, she reasoned, and let the matter go.

-x-

This was the third parade, but Riza was no less unsettled than she’d been at the first. Parades were liabilities, plain and simple; you might as well paint a target on the back of every person of interest who set foot within a hundred yards of the garish floats and ostentatious musical pavilions. She would have far preferred being a spectator; they milled around eating thornapples and skewered meats and waving miniature pinwheels. She realized suddenly that she hadn’t really been to an event in years that didn’t involve her acting as bodyguard.  

“Stop dancing around me, Hawkeye,” the General muttered after the fourth time she switched from his right side to his left.

“We aren’t properly staffed, Sir,” she replied. “I want to be sure I’m able to spot any possible threats.” He waved a hand dismissively.

“We’re in the center of a platoon of soldiers.”

“And the only ones in Amestrian uniforms in this section of the procession,” she pointed out. “We’re sitting ducks.” Mustang ignored this, tugging at his collar.

“I wish we’d get a move on, it’s sweltering .”

She had to admit it was; wool uniforms and humid summer air didn’t mix particularly well. They’d been in Ishval earlier this year overseeing reconstruction plans but it had been spring and they only had to contend with the dry heat that was more typical of the desert. Here there was no escaping the damp summer air. At long last the parade started moving, snaking its way through the city. They would loop around the outskirts of town and then end up back at the palace. The whole thing would last over an hour.

They were situated at the front of the same float they’d adorned for the previous two parades; a burnished gold monstrosity that Riza supposed was supposed to be a fish. Only this time instead of their military escort they were standing with a handful of Ling’s soldiers, with May seated on an ornately decorated chair reminiscent of a throne that was situated on the dais and Al just below. May had looked slightly uncomfortable at first, but soon adjusted, smiling and waving to the crowd as they trundled along.

With less people there was more surface area and therefore more blinding gold to contend with. Riza resisted the urge to shield her face with her hand as the sun danced across the multifaceted surface. The General looked to be concentrating deeply on something, but as she followed his gaze she didn’t see anything amiss.

“Cenz for your thoughts, Sir?” she asked and he seemed surprised.

“I’m thinking that the second we get back to the palace I’m getting a pitcher of iced wine and sitting next to one of those massive indoor fountains,” he said, and flashed her a grin. “You’re welcome to join me of course.”

She opened her mouth to say that actually they had some reports they could stand to go over and should probably pack as well when there was a sudden flash of movement overhead, and something hot and bright burst inside their float. Instinctively Riza flung her body sideways, into the General, forcing him to the floor and shielding his body with her own. For a few harsh moments she was far away, both in time and place, in a different desert, with a different threat, following the same man. Her breath caught in her throat as she willed herself back to the present, to Xing and the Parade. A few moments of relative silence passed, and she hesitantly looked up to see Alphonse and May also climbing to their feet, May’s ornate chair merrily burning under the ruins of a massive Xingese firework. There was a snort beneath her and she looked down to find that she was nose to nose with Mustang.

“A rogue firework,” he said, regarding the object. She couldn’t tell what exactly he did but a second later the flame was snuffed out, starved of oxygen.

She got to a sitting position, looking around at the crowd, but everyone seemed to be carrying on as usual, the spectacle over. With the sheer amount of explosives Xing boasted this can’t have been the first untimely detonation they’d ever seen. May was standing at the front of the float waving as though nothing had happened, Al at her side.

“You can probably let me up now,” he remarked dryly and Riza looked down to find she was still straddling his midsection. She got to her feet and offered a hand to help him up and he smoothed his uniform down. Was it the heat of the uniforms, or were his cheeks tinged pink? Hers felt hot too and she looked away towards the crowd. How many times had she pushed him aside, or covered his body with her own in times of danger, and yet she had never been as thrown off-kilter by the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other. Even through two sets of uniforms it was a sensation that made her breath catch somewhere behind her sternum.

Stoically she moved a half-step behind him, and the parade went on.  

-x-

After a very long and very convoluted feast, they walked back to their rooms in a comfortable silence.

“You know Captain, I’ve got a bottle of nice Xingese wine and a balcony, if you’d like to watch the fireworks,” he offered. She considered a moment; as the senior officer, his room was nicer. Hers was next door and had a nice large window, but no balcony to speak of.

“All right,” she said, surprising him as well as herself. “Let me change out of my uniform and I’ll be right over.”

She stopped in her room long enough to change into a soft knee-length skirt and hesitated before putting on a lightweight sleeveless shirt she would normally only wear to sleep in, because the top of her tattoo could be seen peeking out of the top. Her hair covered it, however, and the night was warm enough that she’d be glad to wear less fabric. She padded to the connecting door and knocked lightly.

He’d also changed, into a button down and slacks, and handed her a glass of deep purple-red wine as she walked in, which she sniffed at before sipping; they were fond of fortified wine here and so the vintage was peppery with a hint of berries and nutmeg that burned pleasantly on the way down.

“I think they’re about to start-” Mustang was saying, but was interrupted by a loud pop , and a bright display of color and crackling out over the city. Mesmerized, Riza drifted through the room and out the open glass doors to what was admittedly a very nice patio. It was large, with a iron-wrought table and chairs near the doors, a few potted plants, and an actual sofa towards the other end. Bypassing the furniture entirely, she walked to the rail and settled her elbows on it to wait for the next eruption.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” she breathed, as Roy came to stand next to her, elbow barely brushing hers.

“I have,” he replied. “Not for years - they used to set off fireworks in Central every year on New Year’s Eve. But they stopped around the time I went to learn under your father.”

“No wonder you weren’t impressed by the sparklers we got from the village,” she mused, lips quirking upward in a smile. He had the grace to look embarrassed.

“I really was quite the insufferable city boy, huh?”

Two more glasses of the heady Xingese wine and they sat on the couch, her leaning up against the pillows with her legs bent over his lap, him sitting upright, absently tracing a finger around the bruising on her knee that had appeared after the scuffle at the parade.

“That was close, earlier,” he said finally, and she looked up.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been attacked by a firework before,” she said dryly. “They’re very loud up close.” A warm feeling had settled somewhere in her stomach, courtesy of the wine, the fireworks, and the General’s proximity. The General’s proximity which was… entirely too near, now she stopped to think about it. She made to swing her legs off the couch so they wouldn’t be so entwined, but the weight of his arm across the bend in her legs stopped her.

“Don’t, please. Just… don’t. Let’s enjoy this.”

Normally she would protest out of some sense of country and duty but the wine and the warm summer air had affected her in equal measure, so she sat back against the pillows without another word. His hand that was tracing her bruises drifted up her thighs to trace the end of her skirt, however, and she cleared her throat.

“That was nice of you, to get that book for May. What made you think of it?” she asked, believing that to be an innocent, diffusing question. Diffusing of what, she didn’t quite know, she just had a vague sense of something needing to be doused. He chuckled, and the warm burning in her belly intensified.  

“You’ll think I’m being sentimental but I kind of feel like I owe her one.” At her puzzled look he shrugged. “On The Promised Day, if she hadn’t jumped in to heal you when she did… she saved your life.”

“So shouldn’t I be the one giving her presents?” Riza asked, amused. His eyes were oddly intense, and her smile quickly vanished.

“I almost lost you,” he said seriously, and he reached out, seemingly without meaning to, and caught a strand of her hair between his fingers, and it occurred to her how close they were sitting. “So no, it’s me who owes May Chang a debt I can never really repay.” a firework went up, and popped into the inky black night, illuminating them and for a moment time stood still.

“I’ve always been ready to die in pursuit of our goals,” she breathed, not knowing what else to say, unable to tear her eyes away from his.

“And if that’s what it takes to reach the top, I don’t want it,” he told her firmly. His hand was now resting gently on her chin, and she was surprised to find her own fingering his collar. She wasn’t sure if he was leaning in or if she was, but their noses lightly bumped together and he froze. “Tell me not to,” he said softly, like a prayer.

This was an order she couldn’t obey. She closed the distance between them and pressed her lips to his, just as another firework crackled overhead.  This was dangerous, she thought as she slid down on the cushion, using her hands on his collar to pull him down with her, something he was all too eager to comply with, sliding a hand behind her knee to hitch it over his hip. His body was a comforting weight on hers, and made this moment seem weighty and real, a culmination of what she had come to accept as pointless longing for something that needed to remain forever out of reach.

She ran her hand up through the back of his hair, tugging lightly as she kissed him hungrily. He ground his hips against hers and she gasped at the contact, hand resting lightly on the side of his face as he pulled gently away. For a moment they just looked at each other, and she found she was able to read the question in his eyes as easily as ever. Her lip quirked and at her silent response, he bent to trail kisses down her throat.  

She wasn’t sure how they’d managed to make their way back into the room, stumbling into door frames, shucking off clothes as they went. How strange that she’d known him for so many years, through so many triumphs and failures, but yet there was apparently still so much to learn. There was a particular sound he made when she grazed his neck with her teeth that was new, and so enticing she half-laughed as she brought her lips once more to his. Her naked back hit the cool silk of the sheets on his bed and she sighed as he kissed his way down her body.

The light from the fireworks lit the room through the open patio doors, but they hardly noticed, engrossed in each other with the heady desperation of people who were seizing an opportunity that may never come again.

-x-

Riza’s first thought upon waking was that she’d had too many glasses of strong Xingese wine. Her second was that there was an arm securely wrapped around her waist. Her third was that she was completely naked. She made to sit upright but the arm was utterly unyielding, so she settled for covering her face with her hands.

“Oh no,” she said out loud, and the body behind her snorted slightly, shifting under the thin topsheet that covered them.

“Wh- Hawkeye?” for there could be no mistaking her for anyone else he might have taken to his bed; he was face to face with her scarred back. She winced, thinking about the rude awakening that must be.

“Good morning, Sir,” she said tightly. The most embarrassing thing was that they hadn’t had all that much wine. Yes they’d been tipsy and she now felt like she needed to drink a whole pitcher of water, but she remembered everything. Oh how she remembered. She felt heat rush to her face as she rolled over, his arm still around her waist, to look at him.

“Good morning,” he said, eyes meeting hers and then drifting lower. She cleared her throat, studiously avoiding looking anywhere but his face.

“So this was a colossal fuck-up,” she said. “Sir.” He sat up on one elbow, leaning over her as he swept her bangs out of her eyes and leaned in to brush his lips to her neck.

“Mmph,” he said, and she took that as assent. The arm that had been situated across her hips withdrew, and his fingers ghosted over her hips, around to her stomach, and dipped lower, brushing between her thighs. She caught his wrist delicately and pulled his hand upward.

“We can’t,”

“We most certainly can,” he told her, kissing her hotly below her ear, “and have.” She sighed. Well the damage was done, it seemed early enough, and the way he was nibbling her earlobe was causing a familiar warmth to pool behind her navel. Using her legs and the element of surprise she rolled him over onto his back. He ran his hands up her thighs to her hips, grinning up at her wolfishly.

“Once more couldn’t hurt, I suppose,” she acquiesced, and bent to hiss him.

After, as she lay in his arms, both of them covered in a fine sheen of sweat, the panic really began to set in. He cleared his throat, apparently, and as usual, thinking along the same lines she was.

“What now?” he asked, seeming to echo her thoughts. “Do - should we figure out how to continue this when we’re back in Central?” She sat up on one elbow and regarded him seriously, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Do you want to?” she asked. He turned pink and avoided her eyes.

“More than anything in the world, but -”

“Not more than anything,” she finished for him. “I’m glad we agree. We’ve come too far; we’ve lived through too much to risk it.”

“Riza,” he said, and her name on his lips was both foreign and so familiar it made her chest ache and for a moment she couldn’t meet his eyes. “You have to know that I-”  she leaned down and kissed him soundly, her hair falling in a curtain as though to hide this brief moment of weakness on both of their parts from the world.

“Please don’t say it,” she said softly. “It’s going to make it so much harder to forget this.”

“But you know,” he breathed, and she nodded, blinking hard.

“I do. And… me too.”

-x-

Six weeks later Riza stood up from the bathroom floor, wiping her mouth, feeling as though a cold bucket of water had been upended onto her as she thought hard, counting weeks and sinking further and further into a certainty tinged with wild panic. This wasn’t the first time she’d been sick lately, and she had a suspicion it wouldn’t be the last.

She washed her hands robotically, thinking hard.

They had been so concerned with bureaucracy following their… indiscretion, that she hadn’t even stopped to consider biology. That there could be ramifications beyond losing their jobs. Since returning to Amestris they’d been particularly careful not to spend time alone, and a touch formal, and sometimes he looked at her in a way that made her face heat up, but everything had gone back to more-or-less normal. She had thought - they had both thought - that they’d gotten away with it, and they could put it behind them with nothing but a pleasant memory to remember it by.

She pressed a hand to her still-flat lower stomach. What would people say?

Well of course they’d say the obvious. She hadn’t caught wind of rumors regarding her and her commanding officer in years, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there, simmering gently despite no evidence. They had been very careful never to act improperly towards each other. She would have to come up with a plausible story, and furthermore she would need to make sure that the General reacted in a way that spoke of his innocence in the matter.

Riza eyed herself in the mirror; a hard-eyed soldier stared back at her. As much as it made her feel like a hand was clenching around her heart, this child wouldn’t be able to know its father. Riza would do this alone because she had no other choice. She needed to protect him. She needed to protect them both.

-x-

“Hawkeye you have to talk to me.”

It was four days after her in-office revelation, something she had done specifically not to arouse any suspicion, and yet here he was, on her doorstep in the middle of the night, and she had a strong hunch that he’d been at his aunt’s newly reestablished bar. Riza wasn’t sure what she had expected but he hadn’t been taking the news well, she could see it in the lines beneath his eyes in the office today, in the flat quality to his voice when he spoke to her. She opened the door further and waved him inside to avoid making a scene where people might see.

“You’ve been avoiding being alone with me for days, please,” he said, standing in the middle of her living room and looking utterly lost, dark eyes wide and hair mussed.

“I haven’t…” she trailed off - denial was no good, not with him. “I haven’t known what to say to you. It’s a setback, to be certain.”

“A setback , try a disaster! I can’t BELIEVE we didn’t- That I didn’t - ”

“There’s no use blaming yourself. We can’t exactly take it back now” she said quietly, and brushed past him to put the kettle on. When she turned back around he’d sunk down onto her couch and was running a hand through his hair.

“What do we do now? Do we run away to Xing? We could, you know,” he said, looking up but not at anything in particular. “Ling would find a place for us, you could be his bodyguard and I could be Royal Alchemist or Official Firework-Starter, or-”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We stay, and we work, and I… I’m going to raise the child of a random Xingese courtier who shall remain nameless.” A knot had settled somewhere deep in her chest and she doubted it would come undone anytime soon. “And if the rumors get to be too much and they threaten your career, I’ll disappear.”

“With my child? Like hell you will,” he said, voice rough. This gave her pause. The clock on her mantle had never sounded so impossibly loud in the stillness of her apartment Slowly, she walked to the couch and reached out, not quite touching, fingertips grazing the fabric at his shoulder.

“You realize it can never be your child,” she told him softly. He put his head in his hands.

“I’m aware.”

She sat next to him and hesitated, before wrapping her arms firmly around his shoulders. He leaned into her, and she let her head fall to gently rest against his. For a while all they did was breathe together, in and out, soothing each other by sheer virtue of being present. A heaviness settled over them and Riza doubted they would have another moment together like this again. She turned her face into his shoulder; she would not cry, not now, not in front of him. There would be time for that weakness later.  

“This is going to be a nightmare,” he said after a moment.

“We can make the most of it.”

“Can I just ask you for one thing?” he looked up at her. “It might be a bad idea under the circumstances but the baby… if it’s a boy, can we name him after Hughes?” This was a bad idea, she thought. It would be the obvious choice for a child of Roy’s. But she had known and loved the man as well, and it couldn’t be seen as that unusual that she would choose to honor a fallen comrade when naming her firstborn. She nodded, running a hand down his arm and lacing her fingers through his.  

“I think we can do that.”

It was a girl, but they named her after Maes anyway.  

[seromreven]

title: blue velvet | chapter four.

pairings: john lennon/male!reader & paul mccartney/reader | various pairings both including and not including the reader.

summary: it’s the turn of the new decade; you’re the leader of a band that has its residency in a popular nightclub in Hamburg. One fateful night you meet The Beatles, a band new in town, and things take a turn as your relationship with two of the members of the band evolves.

author’s note: i’m a sickly baby and when i finally stopped having stomach issues; i got a goddamn headache. anyway, here’s the last chapter ! wah !

---

You were suddenly, and rather violently, awoken the day after the party. You cursed another your breath as your eyes adjusted to a completely bright room. You roommate Wolfgang were staring down at you with his arms on crossed as he stood at the side of your bed. You blinked slowly a few times before with a groggy voice finally managed to ask;

“What…? What time is it?”

The few times he had roused you out of your sleep before was on days you had to travel or work early; from what you could recall, you had to do neither today.

“It’s six.”

He was pretty stoic as he looked down at you. Was he mad? Wasn’t this the time he woke up anyway? The neat freak of nature that he was.

“In… in the morning?”

You had to be sure. It could very well be that after the night you had, your internal clock had shut itself off and let you sleep very late.

“Ja,” he huffed and went to sit on his own bed in the tiny room you shared. His arms still crossed. You had finally collected yourself together enough for your sight not to be completely blurred and you slowly sat up as you felt yourself getting more and more awake.

“...Why?”

You asked, feeling very confused. Why the fuck would he wake you up at this ungodly hour? Fuck. Wolfgang didn’t even look like he had planned to be awake and neither looked like he wanted to. He was shirtless and his dark black hair pointed in all angles it could.

“Your boyfriend is out in the hall waiting for you. Ask him.”

“What? I don’t have a boyfriend?”

Who would he assume was your boyfriend? Paul? Surely not, whatever Paul had done with you was in the presence of the two of you alone. Well, except for the recent one. But no one seemed to notice it! Except for, well, John. Wait, could it be John that was out there? Why would Wolfgang call him your boyfriend?

“Well,” Wolfgang sighed, “the one who kissed you is out there. Whatever he is to you.”

So, that didn’t clear things up. And Wolfgang, having known you for quite a while, seemed to pick up on your uncertainty.

“Did you…,” he looked to be fighting back a smirk or a bemused look as he continued, “kiss more than one man yesterday?”

“No!”

You jumped to your feet with a blush furiously fighting it’s way out.

“I mean… yeah… kinda…”

God, did he think you were some kind of antisocial who never went out? You could kiss more than one man a day if you wanted to. You never had or wanted to before yesterday but that’s far beyond the point. You hastily ignored whatever you friend said next and in fast movements; put on pants and a shirt that had laid on the floor (almost resulting in facepalming yourself in your rush) and hurried out of the room.

You supposed you just had to find out yourself who he was thinking about. Couldn’t really be anyone but John. Wolf had just thrown out Paul and George when John… made his move on you so that’s really what made the most sense.

And lo and behold but who did you see but none other than John Lennon? Standing in the living room looking rather worse for wear as he looked on a row of framed pictures you and your roommates had of yourselves and Brighton. He had one in his hand that he seemed to study and you rested against the entrance way of the room as you waited for him to take notice of your presence.

You weren’t in a rush to be noticed and instead took the time to take him in. He wore the same as he did the previous night. His hair was a mess and… well, he didn’t look like he had had any sleep during the night. He looked horrible.

He placed the portrait down and finally saw you out of the corner of his eye. He gave a timid smile; more from him being deadly tired, you thought, rather of him being any kind of shy. Though it could be both. You couldn’t exactly boast about knowing him any well.

He muttered out a single ‘hello’ and glanced to his feet. You scratched your neck in confusion. You worried about his dishevelled appearance and seemingly nervous posture. He seemed to be of a lot more self-confidence up until he… oh, until he kissed you. You really should’ve known it was for this he was here about.

You didn’t move out of your spot from the doorless entrance. It didn’t matter if you went further in or not; the want for privacy could only be fulfilled if you left the room or went somewhere else completely.

He suddenly looked back up at you with the mumbled proclamation of; “I’m not a Queer, y’know.”

Your breathing stilled for a second as you looked at him from your spot. So, your original thoughts the day previously had been correct. That the kiss had taken him by surprise as much as it had you. And would a man who had kissed multiple others state such a fact about himself? While it was possible, you supposed, it hadn’t felt like someone experience with the same sex.

“...Right,” you were kinda disappointed. But you couldn’t fault him in having that attitude.  You couldn’t think of anywhere that would be safe for the likes of you. And you had your own confusion and denial when you first figured out your affection for men. Or the lack of for women.

“Is that all you came to say…? Or do you want to… talk some more?”

You asked the demure looking man. You wanted desperately to get some life back into the man. It pained to see him in such a state; especially knowing you had in some way been responsible for it. But he just shrugged and you could see you had to put more effort into it.

“There’s… a small deli open down the street. We could get something to eat and drink… and talk. Yeah?”

He nodded, “yeah,” and followed you when you walked out the door. The trip down the many stairs and out into the chill Hamburg morning was spent in silence and you walked side by side to the US-styled deli. And as you had said; it was open, but just about. An older man inside saw the two of you standing outside and waved you in with a grin.

His name was Armin, an old WWII veteran you had become acquainted with by frequenting the deli back when you first started out in Hamburg. His greying auburn hair was long and neatly tied back into a low ponytail as he greeted you as you stepped inside. He asked you about your absence, and with a sly smile, asked about your friend when he seated in what he knew to be your preferred seat. And, yes, he knew. In fact, he himself was gay. Something he had confided with you during your long morning talks. He and his business partner lived together with a small army of cats.

Armin walked away from the table after you told him you were gonna come up and order soon, and then turned to look at John. He had discarded his leather jacket and were now running hands through his hair. Trying to fix it in a futile attempt.

“The pastrami on rye is great.”

You said it in an attempt to say anything, you suppose. For, to be quite honest, you weren’t completely sure what to say. Perhaps as a guide on what to order? … Geez, you were bad at this. So you sighed and glanced out the window. It was raining and the streets weren’t completely empty. There were a few homeless and people on their way to work or someone walking their dog. You totally weren’t distracting yourself in an attempt to not look at John and actually acknowledge the awkward situation you had created… Oh, look, a wiener dog.

You heard a muttering of your name and with a defeated sigh; you looked back to John. You couldn’t just sit in silence and ignore the situation and looked to be John felt the same.

“Maybe I am…,” he glanced towards Armin all while looking unsure… nervous, “... y’know.”

You had a sense of what he was trying to say. You gently placed your hands on the table; near his and leaned slightly forward. “It’s safe to talk here.”

He nodded carefully and looked down at your hands. You wondered about what was going on in his head. What his thoughts were about all of this. He didn’t seem the most talkative when it came to the emotional ‘bullcrap’. Which was in equal parts understandable and frustrating.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me anything, okay? It would be nice… but you don’t owe it to me to explain.”

You wanted him to be sure of that. It wasn’t that serious of a situation… well, at least not for you. Putting yourself in his shoes; you had to understand that what was going on now was detrimental for him. You patted him gently on the back of his hand and stood up.

“I’ll get some coffee and you can think things over, okay?”

He gave a short nod and you left and went to the counter of the small deli. The place was still empty but from experience; you knew you had about an hour before it would slowly be filled with tourists and the like. You got plain black coffees, not knowing what John preferred and got back to him with the steaming cups. The moment you sat down; John looked more alert and started talking,

“I’ve never thought about a lad like this before… Except for Elvis, perhaps... Never wanted to kiss one. Or… touch one like I do with birds. But,” he glanced to you. A soft gaze in his eyes. “I want to do all that and more with you.”

He was tearing small rifts into the paper napkin that you had given him with the coffee as he lightly shook his head at his own words.  

“But we hardly know each other. We only met yesterday,” you commented. It wasn’t to deter him. Not at all; this week had just gone by fast. It was hard to believe even that it was just a few days ago you even saw him perform.  But; you could relate to what he was saying. As little as you knew the man, there was something that pulled you to him… and his friends. In different ways, of course.

He looked at you with a slightly panicked look; “we can get to know each other. Right?”

You quickly nodded and reassured him; that, yes, you could and that you also wanted to.

So, you talked. A lot. Ate your food. Both getting the pastrami rye you had mentioned with a side of sunny side up fried eggs. It was delicious, but this you knew as you had frequented the place lots of times previously. And when you had eaten and paid; you left for the nearby park to take a little walk together. He had increasingly gotten in a better mood; so much was obvious to you.

You had gotten around to talking about your pasts. He told about his absent father. His dead mother. And how he was raised by his aunt and uncle; until the uncle died. Man, and you thought you had had it bad as you told him;

“Father died in the war… And I’ve never had a great relationship with my mother. She left me with my grandmother when she got remarried and decided to not have me in her ‘new life’. And when my grandmother realised she couldn’t take care of me; Booker’s family volunteered and took me in.”

You sat and talked for a long time on an old bench; watching the sun rise and the park fill with dog walkers and joggers. Hearing the winter birds come out to sing and it all brought a feeling of relative peace to your mind as the morning had started out early and stressful. Your hands touched slightly between the two of you on the seat of the bench and you didn’t dare to do more in case of any onlookers but it was nice.

You faced him with a slight sniffle as you hadn’t counted for the weather as a walk in the park hadn’t exactly been planned. “I do really like you, John,” he turned to you with a look you weren’t sure how to describe… but it was nice. A small blush was painted across his cheek.

“What about Paul?”

It came out close to a stammer and you raised your brow.

“What about him?”

He sighed, “why me? Wouldn’t you much rather be with Paul?”

“Why would I rather be with Paul?”

“He just seems so… assured in his sexuality. He wasn’t afraid to make the first move on you at the party. Kissing you and… and rubbing your thigh.” His hand went through his hair in a stressed move; messing up his already messy quiff in the process. “And I… I freaked out on you when I kissed you!”

You put your hands on both his shoulders in an attempt to get his attention back to you. To get his mind off the freakout that seemed to be building it’s way out.

“John… John, I like you. And Paul seems like the guy to back off if we tell him that you like me and I like you, yeah?”

He glanced slightly away, seemingly in thought, before giving a slight nod. You grinned and patted his shoulder before quickly looking around the park… It seemed deserted enough for what you had in mind.

“Good… Good,” you nodded as he looked back to you. “D’you feel ready for a hug or… something like it? It looks like you could need one.”

He glanced around the park too; as if he had the same thought as you had only moments earlier. And as if a switch in his mind, he gave you an impish smirk and moved your hands into his and kissed you in a manner that betrayed his look. Soft and much more self-assured than the one the day before.

And in the breeze of the September morning, with the sunrise as the background; you felt a serene calm in the hands of John Lennon.

[heyyyharry]

In Another Life Series: Chapter 2 - The Assistant

...in which Harry’s got a new assistant and Y/N’s got a new job.

Series description: Y/N and Harry are soulmates and destined to meet in every lifetime, but no matter how many times they reincarnate and find each other again, they never seem to get it right.

AU: reincarnation, soulmate!harry, prince!harry, and assistant!y/n

I hope you guys enjoy this, questions are very welcomed.

Chapter 1 - The Painting Harry and Y/N come across a strange portrait in an art museum.

~~~

The young Prince hurried his feet down the corridor to his father’s meeting room. Though the guards tried to stop him from disturbing the King, he was in no way affected by their warnings.

“Stop me and I’d have you all beheaded,” he growled and the men in armors immediately backed away. 

Knowing the Prince their whole lives, all the servants of the royal court had no doubt that he would always put his words into actions. So of course, for fear of losing their heads, these men had to let him through.

“Father, may I speak with you?” The Prince spoke when he barged into the room all of a sudden. Still his entrance didn’t steal the King’s attention away from the open book in front of him.

“Edward, did I just hear you threaten to have my guards’ heads?” The old monarch shifted a bit in his chair, making the young man flinch in anxiety.

The King was the only person in the world who could have the Prince shaking in his boots, which was why Edward had never failed to follow his father’s every wish since the day he was born. This time, however, would be an exception.

“Father, I was informed about the Princess’ visit.”

“Good.” The King lifted his face and gave his son a firm stare. “You should be getting ready, she’d be here soon.”

“With all due respect, father, I am not going to marry a girl I do not know.”

“She’s the Princess of France.”

“I don’t care who she is. I do not love her.” Edward could not believe he dared to say that himself, still he stood tall with no sign of weakness, exactly like his father had taught him.

But instead of showing his concern, the King appeared a bit too calm in reaction to his son’s objection to the marriage arrangement.

“Spending too much time with your mother, I see.” He shook his head side to side slowly. “Edward, royalties do not marry for love, we marry for duty. And your duty to the kingdom is having that French girl as your wife, for the French are one of our strongest allies.”

“So you do not love my mother?”

“I love the Queen, because I am married to her, not the other way around,” the King asserted as he closed the book in front of him and intertwined his fingers on the table, not a single smile displayed upon his thin lips.

“You are going to marry this Princess, then you will learn to love her.”

...

For the past fifteen minutes, Harry had been pacing back and forth in the studio with his phone clutched in his hand. His girlfriend hadn’t replied to his latest text or called him back and he knew all too well that meant nothing but trouble. It wasn’t the first time they fought though. In fact, they hadn’t gone through one month in their two years together without at least one big argument. It always began with her getting mad at something he did or said, and ended with him begging on his knees for her to stay.

Jeff had been watching Harry from the couch for a while now, and even though it wasn’t him who’s in hot water, he still got pretty frustrated.

“Harold, could you please just sit down?”

“Lillie, she-”

“Enough with Lillie! You have more important things to take care of over here.” Jeff exhales, patting on the pile of folders in front of him to get Harry’s attention. 

“What are those?”

“Job applications.”

Harry breathed out a laugh, then realized Jeff wasn’t joking. “I already told you I didn’t need a personal assistant.”

“Yes, Harry, you sure as hell need one. You’re going to be so busy once your second tour starts.”

“The last assistant sold my private info to the press. I don’t trust anyone else, I’ve got you.”

“I cannot help you with everything, Haz! I’ve read and picked out these excellent applications, your job is just to decide which one.”

“Okay then.” Harry bent down and pulled out a random folder in the pile, then handed it to his manager. “This one.”

“But you haven’t even read what’s inside!”

“But you have, and I trust you.” Harry grinned, just in time his phone notified him of a new text from his girlfriend, and he wasted no time to make his way to the exit. “Could you please take care of the rest? I will be right back!”

“Harry!”

“I promise!” shouted Harry from the door as the sound of his footsteps faded away in the hallway.

...

“With me in the studio right now is the lovely and talented singer/songwriter Lillie Xander!”

“Thank you for having me!”

“You’re welcome darling! So Lillie, your first single Him has reached number one in the UK, I mean, the song itself is a bop, but the fans cannot stop talking about the lyrics. They all want to know if this song is about your boyfriend Harry Styles.”

“I think the lyrics are fairly self-explanatory. I’m in a happy relationship and I think it’s common for artists to write from personal experiences. I hope that answers your question.”

“It certainly does, thanks love. Now, let’s listen to Him from Lillie’s new album ‘French Rose’ coming out this October!”

“Hey! Give me back my phone!”

Y/N ignored her friend’s reaction as she turned the iPhone’s volume down, then handed the device back to the girl.

“Did you have to listen to your radio show that loud, Lisa?” Y/N snorted, receiving a disapproving glare from her friend.

“Because that’s Lillie fucking Xander!”

“Well, I’m trying to concentrate!” said Y/N as she marched out of the kitchen, back to the couch where she’d left her unfinished sketch. Lisa pulled herself a chair by the dining table and paused her radio show to check on her friend.

“Weird, I haven’t seen you draw again in months, getting all inspired by that museum date?”

Y/N paused the movements of her pencil on the paper and looked up, receiving a playful grin from Lisa.

“Okay, first of all, it wasn’t a date,” she clarified, squinting her eyes as she put the pencil down. “Second of all, don’t even mention Jason, okay?”

“Come on, how long are you gonna stay mad at him?”

“He tried to kiss me, Lisa! He’s been my best friend since first grade now I can’t even look at him!”

“At least talk it out like adults, you can’t ignore him forever.”

Just as Lisa finished her sentence, Y/N’s phone on the dining table started ringing, announcing her of an incoming call. Lisa reached out to grab it and Y/N immediately shouted from the couch, telling her friend not to answer.

“It’s not Jason! Unknown caller ID!”

“Don’t answer that either, it could be Jason using someone else’s number!”

“Hello? Yes, this is Y/N’s number.”

“Lisa!” 

“No, I’m her friend.”

“What are you doing, Lis?!”

Y/N fled from the couch, straight into the kitchen, quickly attempted to grab her phone away but Lisa’s facial expression stopped Y/N dead in her track. 

“Okay here she is.” Lisa covered the phone with her other hand and her eyebrows knitted together as she whispered aggressively to Y/N, “Jeffrey Azoff is on the fucking phone!”

The news was a bolt from the blue to Y/N, she was too shocked to know what to say, but Lisa kept mouthing to her to answer it, and she was left with no other choice.

Y/N took the phone, trying to calm her breathing as she brought it to her ear and muttered the word, “hello?”

“Is this Y/N Y/L/N?” asked the male voice on the other line.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Hi, I’m Jeffrey Azoff, Harry Styles’ manager.” Y/N was rooted to the spot when she heard those two names in the same sentence, but it wasn’t the only surprise she was gonna get today. 

“Congratulations, Y/N, you’ve got the job!”

[ralfstrashcan]

3x16 Reaction / Commentary

Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood

THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.

Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.

This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.

Edit: I FOUND ONE

HAHAHA HELL YEAH

I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.

lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help

Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.

That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.

When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)

That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.

I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.

My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!! My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no. My fangirl brain: :<

........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.

lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD

Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this. Honestly.

The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.

THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD

I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves. The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit. Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??

HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.

I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.

LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)

.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.

YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*

Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.

WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE  J A C E  IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT

“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”

THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA

“Why? Why do you hate him so much?” “It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”

Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)

BAM!!!

I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....

Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha

Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh

Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD

OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.

I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.

Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD

Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?

lol at least this was funny

OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.

Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.

Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.

..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?

?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.

Hahaha okay that was cute.

1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest. 2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels. 3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?

.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional. (Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)

Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.

Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*

lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.

He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)

Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.

.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it. Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.

This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.

The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me. The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.

But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?” If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.

And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.

Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me. Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.

......has she just been sitting there for six episodes? Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.

THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS

1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!

2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience? So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?

“...to kill you while you were weakened.”

WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING

........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?

Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;) Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.

Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?

?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.) Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.

Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.

1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.

2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!

3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.

Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.

Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.

“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”

Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.

1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary. 2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before? 3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.

“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”

They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this. Oh no, I do:

Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.

Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.

Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.

Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.

But this here

#AwkwardGrownUpSquad

I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me. Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD

......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.

lol another thing I didn't see coming.

1) Hello Hannibal lol 2) Who went in there and put restraints on him? 3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??

This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.

How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.

Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.

..................................................................................................................bye

Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.

But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”

Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.

Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.

And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets: a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.

I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD

(Gif Source)

[tiny-cloud-dragon]

Random Gundam Wing What If:

What if, after Endless Waltz, the pilots didn't destroy their gundams? What if they had grown so attached to their suits that they couldn't imagine not having them around? What if they all got together and decided to scale the gundams down and use the Zero System to turn them into little helper/companion bots? Imagine each pilot being followed around by a chibi gundam the size of a toddler and with roughly the same mental capacity.

Chibi Wing Zero

Surprisingly chill. Just goes with the flow, most of the time.

Follows Heero around.

Except when he's following Relena around.

Sharing =/= caring in his book

In fact, that book is his. So is that spot on the couch. And that thing, even though he doesn't know what it is. It's still his.

Don't touch his pilot.

Don't talk to him while his favorite cartoon show is on.

Look at my pretty wings. LOOK AT THEM!

Chibi Deathscythe

Runs with scissors.

Shares everything. Except the blame.

Will not hesitate to throw himself on the floor and start kicking and blasting his 'self-detonation' siren because someone told him 'No'.

Plays well with others.

Duo has “no idea” where he learned how to flip the bird.

No, he doesn't want to power down for the night! He's running on fumes but he's not...powering down...yet...

Will kick you in the shins.

Chibi Heavyarms.

Will build elaborate pillow and blanket forts if left unattended.

No one can figure out whether he just has a hard time with figurative language, is being cute/funny, or just has a knack for malicious compliance.

Climbs on everything.

Will try to pet any animal and try to make you pet it too.

Why are you screaming? It's JUST a snake!

Had his gatling guns taken away because he kept pointing them at anyone who got too close to his pilot.

His knife was confiscated soon after that.

Catherine??? Where did you go??? Take me with you!!!!

Chibi Sandrock

Wants to hold his pilot’s (or anyone’s) hand. All the time. Just hold his hand.

Puss in Boots Eyes? I'll show you Puss in Boots Eyes!

Throws the best pretend tea parties.

Brings his favorite people little gifts that he finds laying around.

Here’s a button. And here’s this pretty rock I found. I brought you this bit of shiny paper... 

Is everyone’s friend. Do you want some pretend tea? Wait, don't go!

Sometimes trips over his own feet.

Or steps on someone else's. Seriously, have you seen the the size of those clod hoppers?

Chibi Shenlong

Yes, he’s silently judging you.

Sulked for three days because WuFei looked at the awesome crayon portrait he had done of him and asked “What is it?”

Is NOT afraid of the sound of a toilet flushing. You are imagining things.

Pretends like he's not interested in interacting with anyone, but joins in after five minutes.

Did not cheat at Duck, Duck, Goose!

How dare you assume that!

Fight me!

Carry me. Now.

More thoughts:

You can’t always take your little gundam to work with you, and you can’t just leave it home alone. Solution: get a babysitter. Heero just drops Chibi Zero off at Relena’s mansion one day, and the next thing she knows, she is the official Chibi Gundam Babysitter.

Relena thinks they are adorable!

What does that noise mean? Why are you making that noise?

They are TOO quiet! What are they up to?

Don’t touch that. No, no, no-! What do you mean you didn’t break it? I just watched you do it!

Finds she has suddenly acquired an extensive collection of pre-school cartoons.

Can’t seem to keep Heavyarms on the ground.

Seriously, how did he get up there???

Sandrock brings her pretend tea.

Where did that huge blanket fort come from?

What is that spot on the carpet????

Let me see what you’ve got there. *a knife* Noooooo!

Can’t go anywhere without being escorted by Zero.

Except when his favorite cartoon is on.

She can’t be in the bathroom for longer than a minute before five pairs of little hands start scrabbling under the door.

Is never late for one o’ clock tea with Sandrock and Heavyarms in the Magical Blanket Fort of Friendship. Rainbow circus afro wigs are mandatory.

Shenlong will be there too, after a little coaxing.

Deathscythe is the Spawn of Satan. 

At least until Heero gets a hold of him one morning. 

Snack time! Wait, do they even eat?

Legos. Legos everywhere.

Put that down, you don't know where it's been.

She doesn’t speak gundam, but she’s pretty sure she knows what THAT gesture means.

Makes a mental note to have a long talk with Duo. 

Baby Shark was a bad idea. They can't talk, but they can imitate the tune.

Let's sing a different song, okay?

How about we just play the quiet game???

She wonders why they can't hear her when she calls them for Clean Up time, but they have no problem hearing a bag of fuit snacks being opened in the other room.

Realizes that she is just a giant, walking napkin.

[rhydart]

Fun facts

...about the stained glass series, just because < 3

Block of text ahoy! (if you want to compare, all of them are here. If you want to, I suggest opening them in different tabs)

Any questions you’re curious about (or anything else!) feel free to comment with one : )

Dirk’s outfit is purposely a throwback to Dave’s (see: cape, armguards, tunic lines, etc)

Roxy’s and Dirk’s poses are mirrored

Roxy’s fluid lines are a throwback to Rose’s, Dirk’s rigid line’s to Dave’s

I didn’t actually know what most of them looked like until I posted them- the colors on my laptop are blueshifted juuust enough to make a difference when I’m coloring

Now I take a screenshot and look at it on my phone to check the colors before posting. Not that I often change anything...

It wasn’t until Jane’s that I standardized the process and the line widths (depending on level of detail)

the line widths are pretty arbitrary, but constant! Symbols are outlined in 28 pixel width, the face details 18 (iirc. Its written down in my base sai file)

All of the pictures after... John, I believe, are big enough to be posters before I shrink them down for tumblr. I did go back and redo the first ones so they were the same large size in case I wanted to make posters for myself

I have not done this, because a) I’m lazy and b) I don’t want to stare at them so often I grow sick of them. The set of eight are my computer background though! It’s eye candy, so many vibrant colors. Makes me happy : )

Jake’s is my favorite, closely followed by Jade (Rose’s colors are still my favorite though). My least favorite is Dave’s, after Roxy’s

This is because I spent the most time on it and eventually posted when I was sick of looking at it, rather than because I was happy. I don’t regret it because people seem to love it, only that I can’t appreciate it other than objectively... oh well.

Jake and Jade have the same background setting. They are the only ones.

But Rhy, Jake’s is a reference to the Hope Thing he did! That’s not the same background as Jade’s, they’re in different lands!

Artistic licenceeeee~  because I love their island

Something that caused a surprising amount of grief was making sure the faces weren’t all pointing in the same direction. I tried to keep it varied, best I could

So did making sure they were all the same height. After a while I just kept a barely visible Rose in the background of the draft to compare proportions to

For Jane and Dirk I looked up old portraits of European nobility for posing ideas

There are four files for each picture. Tiny stained glass.sai (for the draft and later resizing for tumblr), large stained glass.sai (for the final work) and a jpeg for each

The large sai image for Dirk was 345mb. The small jpeg was 5mb. LAYERS \jazz hands

Jane’s ribbons are supposed to resemble vines. John’s fireflies weren’t /supposed/ to resemble pokeballs, but I don’t regret it ; )

The whole project was kicked off by a fic with strong imagery I adored and forgot the title of, to my dismay when I posted Rose. It deserves all the credit and love- if you know why Dave’s piece especially looks familiar (and it would because I drew a doodle while reading the fic in a genetics notebook and found it months later), please tell me so I can thank the author and tell them this is for them < 3

It was really disappointing to get to John and realize that there were no more swooping skirts or capes.

I love swooping skirts ;-;

I’ve been very careful to make sure that all the pieces of glass in the art wouldn’t be an absolute nightmare to cut out of glass. Not because I think anyone will actually make them, but because I wanted to keep them ‘realistic’ (as though you could actually see them in a cathedral)

There is still a rejected Dirk piece in my art folder, fully completed, but it didn’t go well with the others

The one detail I was determined to fit into Dirk’s design was the red band around his throat. That’s been planned for a while ^^’

Three people helped a lot as my sounding board. @sassytail @merlinity and @eighthdoctor. Sassytail was a source of help beta-ing the drafts and titles, especially the first four. Merlinity actually drew alongside me for a lot of late ‘16-mid ‘17, and kept me doing art. Eighthdoctor listened to me whine and told me which versions looked better. Much love to all of them for putting up with my griping < 3

Spot the reference!

 Roxy’s titles have a reference to my favorite Queen song, Jake’s to Lara Croft, Dirk’s to a favorite anime, and Jade to the Tortall series

I’m positive there’s more because I think I’m hilarious. I’ve just forgotten them.

John’s titles were like pulling teeth.

Jane’s executive/executioner line makes me gleeful < 3

Rose’s titles are still my favorites, and their cadence has influenced all the rest. I do regret this. Titles are the hardest part

After the disaster that was trying to come up with the first four, I wrote out a bunch of keywords and themes and accomplishments for the alphas in a little moleskin, and planned them out ahead of time 

Except for Dirk, who I /apparently/ got bored of writing halfway through, leaving much frustration for my future self in a very Karkat manner

If you sent me a nice ask and I never responded or posted it (probably during 2016, it was a bad year): I saved it. It’s still in my inbox, making me smile during bad days, and I’m just too awkward to respond years after you’ve probably left the fandom. But from the bottom of my heart, truly and sincerely: thank you.

And finally, on a less heavy note: I was thiiiiiis close to calling Dirk ‘Lord of the Niobraran Sea,’ but the metric didn’t fit, and we couldn’t possibly have /that/ OTL