#this is a really good if really intense episode
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hi,
can u write jinx with a gf shorter than her too perchance? 😇 maybe she’s more fem than jinx as well so it’s giving masc/fem duo (even tho jinx is sorta fem in her own way but still)
thank uu !
yesssss sure!!
requests are open btw!!! (open and empty...)
Jinx x short!reader!
Basically Jinx with a girlfriend smaller/more fem than her
men and minors dni (wlw friendly space)
pretty much just fluff with a hint of overthinking and angst at the end
- she thinks youre absolutely adorable; as a rather small girl herself, Jinx would really enjoy having someone she could finally tower over
- if youre someone who dresses a lot more feminine than she does, like wears dresses and skirts often, Jinx would absolutely hype you up, thinking you look adorable in them
- would tease you by saying you act like a full on princess because she is more masc (in my opinion atleast) so she would definitely use the pet name "princess" on you sometimes aside from others like "toots" or "angel"
- loves it when her clothes are a little bigger than yours so youd end up stealing and wearing them. If she noticed you waking up before her and youre already in the kitchen making breakfast, she would come up from behind you and wrap her arms around your waist ("you look good like this, princess") while just watching you do your stuff
- the two of you would sort of be a masc/fem duo with how different you handle yourself compared to her
- even if she sometimes makes fun of you playfully or teases you for always being so feminine, she would absolutely adore you and the way you dress, despite it being so different compared to herself
- PROTECTIVE AND I MEAN IT she knows how dangerous the streets of Zaun can be so whenever you go somewhere, expect her to follow you like a guard dog, making sure no one looks at you the wrong way and every creepy person stays away from you or they would have to meet their end, she would NOT hesitate to end someone for being an ass or a creep towards you (ANYTHING FOR HER ANGEL)
- loves holding you close somehow by either having an arm wrapped around your waist or fingers interlocked, anyway she can touch you and know youre real is heaven for her especially if she had an episode prior that day or if the voices grew to loud
- loves showing you off wether it would be the two of you just going somewhere or you introducing yourself to someone she knows ("Yeah, well, this is my girlfriend" "Have you met my girlfriend yet?" "this is my angel")
- I feel like she would sometimes struggle with accepting that youre actually her girlfriend. Not as in youre not enough for her but she easily doubts herself. She's deeply afraid of being abandoned so if a literaly angel like you suddenly appears in her life, she often wonders how she deserves you because shes such a jinx and maybe even tend to self sabotage because she cant explain herself why you would choose her out of all people
- your presence is able to calm the voices in her head, Jinx enjoys being close to you because something about you can make everything quiet and youre her safeplace
- be prepared to always find little sketches or graffitis on your stuff, like something she drew on your makeup box as a little reminder she loves you
- it could either take a lot of convincing or she would easily let you do it for your sake, but doing her makeup!!! imagine sitting on her lap while holding her jaw with your free hand and your dominant hand is busy applying eyeshadow on her eyelids
- She always stares at you while youre trying your hardest to concentrate with those intense pink eyes staring into yours, "Jinx...you gotta close your eyes im not done..." "But you look so cute!", she would pout in response, one of her hands coming up to squeeze your cheek as you playfully slap it away with a giggle and continue your work
- applying lipstick on her could be a mess though because once youve done, her lips would somehow find their way to your face and youd end up being covered in lipstick stains just so Jinx can keep you on your lap a little longer and watch you with a smirk on her own lips
- loved to rest her head on your lap even if your smaller than her while feeling your fingers run through her long hair or massage her scalp
- it would take LOTS of begging and trust, but at some point Jinx would allow you to do her hair. Especially after Silcos death as it felt like it was one of the last things connecting them, she wouldnt let anyone do her hair, causing her braids to grow a little messier because she cant braid all of them by herself. But after some time and heartfelt conversations, she would allow you to do her hair and loves nothing more than feeling your fingers threadening through the electric blue strands - its her favorite way of unwinding after a long day
#arcane#arcane x reader#jinx#jinx arcane#jinx league of legends#jinx x fem!reader#jinx x reader#jinx x y/n#wlw yearning#jinx lol#wlw#wlw fluff
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starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#we really got it all in this update huh#we got flashbacks! backstory! shocking twists! cgs?!#we got the silver breakdown to end all silver breakdowns#the boy does not emote for 6 episodes straight and now it's POURING out and i am shoving my face directly into it#not to mention my favorite: action scenes represented by intensely wiggling the sprites around#and OF COURSE meleanor my beloved. your highness. ma'am. holy shit.#i guess it's mel instead of mal? hey she can spell her name however she wants#meleanor can do whatever she wants about anything. who is going to stop her.#meleanor: hold on baby. mommy wants to make a point. (yeets malleus' egg across the room into liia's face)#man though i am so afraid that crowley really might turn out to have been revaan this whole time#because this means we live in a world where dire fucking crowley managed to pull BOTH meleanor and lilia and i cannot accept that#briar valley are you okay. is it something in the water.#mrs. zigvolt took all the good taste and left none for anyone else
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I thought I was done talking about Style in THK's episode 2, but jokes on me, no I'm not.
I keep thinking about Style and Bison's first interaction and how pure and sweet it was. In the middle of the mess that is this 4-way whirlwind of lies and deception, it felt like a refreshingly honest conversation between two people who are only accidentally lying to each other.
Style seems incredibly earnest when he tells Bison that Kant is "down bad" for him. It doesn't feel like Style is 'wingmanning' Kant here; or if he is, it isn't meant to be malicious or to mislead Bison. It feels like someone being friendly with his bff's crush and hoping that they can get along because he thinks this one's going to stick around.
Similarly, when Bison tells Style to go for Fadel for real, it feels very honest and earnest. Setting aside whatever games Bison is playing with Kant, Bison seems to genuinely want someone for his big brother, and not just so he can date who he wants or as a distraction.
It's also interesting how Style's protest is that he can't see himself actually gaining feelings for Fadel because in a way there's nothing to recommend Fadel to Style at this point. As far as Style is concerned, Fadel is arrogant and condescending, rude and ungrateful (after all, he did replace a bunch of parts in Fadel's car for free), a stick in the mud about his brother dating, and can't seem to take a joke.
We see the polite, pleasant and reasonable Fadel, but Style doesn't.
Which is why I've been obsessing over Style's expressions immediately after the conversation with Bison. Bison's parting insight is "He's rough on the outside, and on the inside," and I think he accidentally piqued Style's curiosity with that line. Because why does Bison still want his brother to have a "real" relationship, then? What makes Fadel worth loving, despite (what Style thinks is) nothing to recommend him?
Ugh I wish I knew how to make gifs because BLESS @airenyah FOR MAKING THESE GIFS!!! Dunk goes through a whole sequence of expressions here that suggests a shift happens in the way he's thinking of Fadel. There's a pensive and thoughtful look and then almost like, "Oh what the hell, might as well see where this goes" kind of amusement at the end. And I think the reason he has this shift is because he's realised that Bison clearly loves his brother and that must mean that there's more to Fadel then his initial impression of the man.
It's interesting that his next attempt at messing with Fadel actually invites Fadel to play along with it. It's so much tamer and more private than the previous attempts because he isn't actively trying to humiliate Fadel this time. And it works?? Fadel engages in the roleplay, indulges Style's ridiculousness, actually chops faster (whilst the most hysterical series of minute expressions play over Fadel's face <3). Perhaps this was Style testing the waters: can Fadel engage with something playful and not take everything way too seriously? Huh, turns out, he can!
The next time Style shows up around Fadel, he's circled back to that playful over-the-top flirting that characterised the garage scene. This is the first time in this episode that Style is actually flirting. Every other time was just to frustrate/humiliate Fadel but notice how he's actively trying to look attractive to Fadel now? He's putting all his best (ahem) assets on display, and poor Fadel has no real protection against this. And, oh, Style is loving this! He's gleefully lapping up every single time Fadel fails to completely hide that he's affected by him.
This, though. THIS precisely is the point I think Style decides that he really does want Fadel for himself. There's so much playing out over Style's face: the determination to push things further, the delighted surprise to see Fadel so rattled, the razor sharp focus, and then desire. Style has finally broken through Fadel's "roughness" and he loves it.
If that uncle hadn't walked in, I'm convinced Fadel would have let Style do anything he wanted, and I think Style knew that.
It's the first time Style immediately chases after Fadel when he walks away from him, and he's absolutely delighted when Fadel all but chokes him against the lockers because that means he still has Fadel within reach.
The whole conversation about "love at first sight" is breathtaking because it feels like Style is discovering what's going to make Fadel crack as he says it and realising just how much he wants this. And no, I don't think he's in love with Fadel yet (not by a LONG shot), but I think he realises that he wants Fadel to fall in love with him. This is such a shift from what he expressed in the diner to Bison. In the diner, there was no hope, no chance for this.
The kisses catch Style by surprise too: you can see that he's just reacting, pushing to see where Fadel will finally draw the line. Because Fadel kisses back in the first kiss and actually fails to push Style away for quite some time in the 2nd kiss (the camera purposely lingers on the way Fadel's hands hover over Style's waist without shoving him back). The third kiss is the point Fadel finally starts fighting, and in the immidate aftermath you can see Style watching so carefully again. And Fadel nearly kisses him again, you see the way Fadel's eyes drop to Style's lips, the way they both freeze and linger in the moment for that one second. The way Style registers that moment and it leaves Style shaken himself.
It's so interesting that this is how we leave Style in this episode (we only see Fadel's fantasy version of Style after this point). I've got two possible interpretations for this line:
Style possibly catches on that Fadel is more dangerous than he seems. Maybe just from vibes, maybe from something in the way Fadel threatened him that kicks off some kind of fearful instinct. This could be what makes Style start questioning if Kant told him the full story and lead to whatever scene it is where Style demands answers in the episode 3 preview.
Alternatively, perhaps Fadel is starting to become real to Style in ways he wasn't before. Fadel was almost a caricature of a man, one which Style didn't like very much before, and that made it easier to fool around with him. But this? This almost tortured man who clearly wants Style but can't seem to give into that desire? Something is going on and Style isn't sure it's worth the game to either of them anymore. Because maybe Style recognises that he's more affected than he should be. And that has implications that Style was not ready for.
#this is also secretly an appreciation post for Dunk's fucking stellar acting in this episode because taking all these screenshots really#made me aware of how quickly Style shifts through expressions but also how CLEAR they are??#Style is SO expressive - and not just in his eyes or lips; but the way he moves and tilts his head and body#and then there's the use of tone and inflection; the way Dunk DELIVERS his lines that communicates what Style is thinking/feeling too#there's SO MUCH going on in every single scene it makes my brain whirl when I try to parse it#and tbh I already noticed Dunk doing this in SIMM - esp in regard to using his VOICE to convey emotions the way#Dao had a lot of hurt and anger that would bleed through in crucial moments and Dunk was already very good at that#but I'm really loving how much of that is evident because Style is a much more expressive character with very high energy/intensity#and it allows Dunk to really flex and show that skill off <3#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#style sattawat#fadel#fadelstyle#dunk natachai#joong archen#joongdunk#rambles about shows i'm watching#thk meta#<my posts>
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Seeing the flashbacks in 7x08 sheds so much light on Bobby's reaction to certain events during the show.
Why Bobby treated Buck the way he did after the embolism and the lightning strike. It's so much more than just being an overprotective parental figure.
The first time was this fear that Buck was in front of him, coughing up blood and dying. He couldn't save his father from dying, but he sure as hell could try and save Buck. And do everything in his power to make sure he remains safe and out of danger.
And then Buck dies after being struck by lightning. He sits vigil at his bedside when he knows there's a chance that Buck will pull through. And he comes back. So, of course, this time, he treats him differently; of course, he overcorrects and gives him slack in his performance review. Of course, he's gentler with him, Buck woke up. And his father didn't.
Their relationship is so complicated in that Bobby views Buck as his son, but he's also been this trigger for the trauma he experienced with his father.
What happened with his father also reinforces why Bobby struggled so much with being unable to sus out Jonah. Bobby put on his headphones and didn't notice what was happening in his house.
#911 on abc#911 spoilers#911#911 abc#bobby nash#evan buck buckely#all this to say really that this was one of my favourite episodes of this season#The parallels abound#and it makes the Bobby and Buck dynamic that much more intense and complicated and good#I also would love to see Bobby being able to give Eddie more advice in the future about the ones you cannot save#and how you cannot use people to fix your guilt over the losses you've suffered and things you wish you did differently
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au where the el tigre tiger spirit is an ancient and sort of prehistoric spirit in the wildest reaches of the ghost zone, and the belt allows it to like... 1/4 possess someone (just giving them some extra powers [including retractible chain hands?? ghosts, idk] without affecting their personality)
#el tigre#nicktoons unite#as a result of this El Tigre is very hard to possess. theres already someone in there. get your own meat puppet skulker#mannys still 100% susceptible to overshadowing lol its a nontransferable skill#man i just think danny n manny should get an Explore the ghost zone episode#maybe precipitated by the belt not working.. manny grappling with the possibility that he may never be able to be El Tigre again...#or manny getting 100% possessed channeling the tiger spirit..something that existed millennia before good and evil..super powerful but fera#but also if normal El Tigre possession gives you just like a scoch of tiger spirit. like youve had a single shot of whiskey#el tigre is just a little more intense focused and scary than manny.. not enough to really notice unless you pay attention#also i had literally nothing else i wanted to work on so i put hours of sauce into this while staying up for work OTL#i wayyyy overdid it lol i shouldve quit an hour ago. so it goes#please admire my badly drawn tiger and excruciatingly drawn stripes... please clap
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anyway in uhh other news i caught up with the link click manhua!! and i think i need more people to be aware that lu guang wipes away cheng xiaoshi's goddamn tears while telling him "don't worry babe i will put things right for you" (paraphrasing)
i'm genuinely ill
#link click#shiguang#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#link click manhua#im astounded at how gay it is hoping they will keep those good vibes going#im generally really enjoying the s1-esque tone of it being episodic dives and a little more laid back/emotional#nowhere near as intense as s2 so far which is good cos im easily stressed 😭🥲#but guys. guys. lu guang never beating the endlessly devoted to cxs allegations
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Leverage one episode is like ‘oh dear Nate and Sophie are on their own - there’s an art thief on the loose and if they don’t find them and the painting then Sterling will arrest them!’ and the next is ‘Elliot, Hardison, and Parker must stop terrorists from releasing the Spanish flu in DC and killing 150 million people.’
#ra speaks#personal#leverage#that went from 0 to 100 really fast yikes#like I felt like this episode was a little intense at the start and I get it now but like. jfc guys wtf.#edit: let me be clear I love this. it’s fucking awesome. 10/10 good stuff
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I’m gonna go work on some more of the ficmas things to hopefully get rid of my stress 💃💃💃I’ll see yall on the other side
#nina rambles~✦#Im gonna mini vent here#so like full warning don’t read if you don’t wanna see my crap lmao#It’s been a shit show from the start !#at work I nearly had a panic attack and had to call my friend to bring me down because a damn episode of kitchen nightmares flared my trauma#I was heavily verbally and physically abused by my ex#and hearing the guy in the episode berate and say shit to his fiancée just brought me back to where I was in her position#and I couldn’t bring myself to stop watching for some god forsaken reason#so my heart just kept sinking and sinking and my anxiety kept growing until it spilled over#so that’s that#and then I have something really important going on tomorrow morning#I just came home from a 9.5 hour soft#shift*#and when I walked through my front door#intense anxiety over this thing suddenly settled in#and so I’m exhausted#haven’t eaten#stressed#and already went through shit#and it’s all culminating together to me just being at a breaking point rn#and ugh#I’m just really not in a good place right now#so im gonna write and see if that helps!!!#fingers crossed!!!
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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......................... new dandadan episode.
#vi rambling#dandadan#I'm uh. uhm. intensely unwell jesus christ#i saw people saying its going to be heavy but i was not fucking ready for that holy fuck.#worse i watched it with my brother and had to hold back fucking tears.#uhm. intensely horrific but also very fucking good episode.#whoever storyboarded did a really good job#editing now that im back to this: the specific theme of mothers and daughters always literally devastates me and uh i was.#mightily devastated this time.#i loved rhe action bits and the moment we find out aira is actually fully dead was chilling and really really good.#and That. uhm. yeah needless to say it was excellent if intensely horrifying to watch somehow. visceral almost idk.#need to think about that . or not because it fucks me up mentally a little too much. the last shots were beautiful.
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oh my god I know like it sounds weird to say this when it's just avatar but the original show has aang go back to the southern air temple to show katara and sokka his home only to find evidence of the genocide of his people and the loss of his loved ones and it's quiet until you see his grief and his rage but you just see the aftermath a hundred years later and the netflix adaptation makes it feel like they wanted it to be a cool action movie with an epic scene showing the fighting and running of the airbenders like that side by side with aang running away and it's like ??? okay it's "darker" congratulations I can see that's what the goal is based on the differences in firebending and early on screen deaths go and focus on every bit of violence for the audience's lazy sadistic pleasure instead of any of the characters personal narratives especially the women that can all be taken right out + the discovery of different places all over the world in the earth kingdom and outside of it. put everything in omashu so they don't get to meet people and see the diversity of the world and each town and SEE what life is like for them under war and have these experiences with all these people build up to something bigger at the end
#changing the order of when the audience discovers new information in favor of a more linear storytelling was a bad idea#it came off as so bizarre like adding in these types of scenes so that it's just cooler and more intense#when the original show had 20 min long episodes 20 episodes per book not much time was needed. but so much was missed in the live action?#because they had to add and drag out things like this that just feel wrong#and it's not very good every event in the live action felt very smushed together like no scene stood out no contrast just the same level#of flatness all around you dont even get a chance to really feel anything about what happens on screen#when everything happens so surface level and without much real emotion it just happens so something can happen after that and so it can end#it felt like watching a bad movie everything that gave the cartoon any meaning was taken away#adding in that weird airbenders genocide scene towards the beginning but leaving out katara's inspiration of haru and those earthbenders#was it not cool enough did it take too much away from sokka's romance plotlines#one of the most important book 1 katara episodes#it felt like the natla script was written by people who are writing from memory based on what they watched 10 years ago
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just caught this line while i had “eugene’s dilemma” on as bg music at work - it’s actually kind of insane that he just says it once and it never comes up again but at the hearing when eugene is trying to convince whit that he’s the big bad evil grade-changer to protect nicholas, he says “i destroyed your relationship with connie.” WAIT WHAT. eugene…….babe…………..how come you think that. why is this something you feel guilty about and why does it Never Come Up Again
#aio#idk something about that line really caught me this time#just the sheer melodrama of the word ‘destroyed.’#also the utterly bloodless way he’s like ‘here are my crimes. I’ve done terrible things. now believe the worst in me.’#‘gdi why aren’t you believing the worst of me’ because you’re a goofy yet oddly intense little rule follower meltsnerd!!!#btw if anyone has good connie & eugene episodes. im hungry for them !!#also im sorry about the messages i am trying to get to them but it’ll most likely be after Friday#when work gives me my brain and executive function back#right now im a clerk first and human being second#aster chat
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Actually, I'm still pissed
#E8#izzy hands#ofmd s2#Today I'm pissed because if I was to rewatch the show I'll know that all this beautiful growth ends like this#I think there isn't an argument that would persuade me it's not depressing#Really#Just because it could be a good choice story wise or symbolically etc#I'd still be pissed#That a show that healed my depression and gave me hope just suddenly lost that#In an instant#The fact that I was analyzing this show so intensely recently made me develop a habit of reaching themes metaphors and all that#And it makes it impossible for my trained brain to just ignore how this episode recontextualized everything
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You know what makes me soooo excited for the next phase of Fadel and Style's relationship? It's that they will finally slot into the CORRECT relationship dynamics because this whole time, it's been flipped.
From the beginning, something felt off, and I think it's because Style's true desire is to be pursued. We are shown this pretty much in Style's introduction when he blatantly puts his body on display with the Crop Top Stretch. Style wants to be approached, wants to be propositioned, wants to be desired. Also, remember how he initially flirts with Fadel when his only motivation was his own attraction? He pinned the Heart Burger badge onto his chest to create an opportunity for Fadel to put his hands on Style's body.
Of course Fadel wasn't pursuing Style; was in fact, actively trying to get away (for reasons OTHER than a lack of physical attraction to Style), so it is the plot that has to drive our lovebirds together using Kant's request and partly Style's own desire to get some revenge.
But throughout their interactions, we constantly see glimpses of Style's desire to be pursued: every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins. And nothing shows this more clearly than the absolutely blissed out look on Style's face in Ep 4 when he thinks Fadel has finally admitted that he wants Style.
(Fucking hell, just look at how dazed and almost euphoric Style looks here? It's like Style has been starving for the barest hint that Fadel truly wants him.)
Which is also why we've gotten so many fake outs. Because although Fadel IS attracted to Style (Ep 2 made that...abundantly clear), he isn’t remotely ready to pursue anyone. Not only is Fadel nursing a broken heart, barely beating, he also has very justified suspicions about Style’s connection to Kant and Style's unnatural persistence.
So it's Style that has to pursue - he dodges Fadel's footsteps, and bullies his way into Fadel's life; but in between the frustration and annoyance, Fadel's walls begin to crack. And I think it's SO COOL that the first significant evidence we have of Fadel's walls crumbling is because Style puts his body on display for Fadel. Because Fadel responded to something that was naturally part of the way Style operates before he even met Fadel. And there are other, more compelling reasons why I think Fadel begins to fall for Style, but that's not really the point I'm trying to make here.
When Fadel said "If I like you, I'll do the pursuing", it wasn't just to get Style to back off. Because now that Fadel has finally chosen to explore something real with Style, we are seeing Fadel's words in action. I know some people have said Fadel's switch to flirting so blatantly with Style in Ep 4's gym scene came out of left field, but I think it may well be confirmation that this was always the dynamic they were meant to be in. Fadel likes pursuing and Style likes being pursued. They fit, they match, they're perfectly compatible.
(Fadel looks almost faintly amused by how "flustered" Style is. Because he doesn't know that Style is actually afraid of him - why would he, when Style has evidenced zero fear so far? So this comes across like Style is getting shy in response to Fadel's unexpected and more overt approach. And possibly this is Fadel starting to remember how much he enjoys the chasing.)
Unfortunately, Kant's revelation is going to screw allll of this up. But, we are finally going to see glimpses of how they work when they're aligned correctly in their dynamics! And while it will take a journey (and oh, it will be gloriously painful, won't it?), our boys are finally on the road to something lasting and I am sooo glad we get to come along for the ride. <3
#fadelstyle#fadel#style sattawat#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk meta#<my posts>#Also I think one of the reasons why Style's anger in ep 4 seemed much more INTENSE is that he really DID think#that Fadel missing him meant something real had shifted between them.#And he was GENUINELY hurt - potentially for the first time; more even than when Fadel punched him after they had sex.#Because he could tell - even during the act - that Fadel's heart wasn't in the encounter.#But the kitchen scene in episode 4... that was Style thinking he'd made a breakthrough.#And Fadel dangled what Style wanted the MOST and then also MOCKED him for it.#Which is why Style lashed out at the support group AGAIN.#// also I do think it was a GOOD thing that Style had to step outside of his comfort zone for this relationship to even start#because in a way it shows that Style does want something real with Fadel at the end of the day#he's literally the only person with ZERO actual real stakes in this game other than his loyalty to Kant; if he really wanted he could bail#/// ALSO even if fadel IS planning something with his sudden change in behaviour#i think its also possible that he's having fun with it because its what he'd like to do anyway#like they don't have to be mutually exclusive approaches#because yeah fadel's last look at style's retreating back was very... contemplative#<- thoughts that didn't really make sense with the point i was trying to make but came up while I was thinking it through
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God I can't fuckin catch a break my adhd keeps pelting me with so many things to be obsessive about and my autism makes sure that if I don't interact with them I'm gonna feel like my chest is being torn out and I'm dying slowly but my adhd doesn't let me actually choose one to interact with cause it keeps bringing up the others but my autism is panicking about that because I need to have a Thing to do
I just want to like. Read, write or draw in peace. Is that too much to ask for. Five minutes
I missed having a hyperfixation when I didn't for a month or so but I forgot how extreme my brain gets about them ig they're called hyper for a reason
#Ranting#AuDHD#Adhd#Autism#neurodivergent#hyperfixation#special interest#Either this is an adhd hyperfixation or an autism thing and if it's the first one I'll be okay within a few weeks to a month#But if it's the second then I'll be MIA for my other blogs and my friends and my family and my life for. Up to two years knowing me#I won't#I'll learn to deal with it again in a bit#But like my parents already think I'm having a depressive episode#And they deny that I'm ND (even after my psychiatrist said I was??) so I can't explain it to them#I'm painfully excited about this stuff. I love having passion like this but ughh I was NOT prepared#My hyperfixations always do this like I go without for a few weeks to a month every year or so#And I'm super lost and sad and grey and passionless yk#And then they fucking SMACK ME IN THE HEAD WITH A STICK#SURPRISE!! GET FUCKIN SMACKED WITH THE HYPERFIXATION STICK#NO MORE FUNCTIONING#like I haven't texted my best friend/ platonic partner ALL DAY#And I spend literally all night last night cuddling with him and being sappy and telling him how much I love him#Like I'm an autistic introvert#needing recovery time after Socialing is normal#But I didn't even say good morning or good night#He knows me so it isn't an issue but like#I forgot how intense this stuff is like. 24/7 I'm thinking about It#I really do have AuDHD don't I#It's pretty obvious
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another appearance by asia kate dillon as LOS via the 7th moon girl's lab short, "coding" =']
#LOS in the LES on the LAN (party)#''as the kids say'' they are SO cherished#with the frequent kick up in pitch / tight voice of Excitement like hand to forehead. what a dear & delightful character#thanks to dreams inspiring ''let me just check their imdb again'' like a series of Shorts well i hope that's on youtube (yes)#& here we are :) love to Feature them again like yes recur even more. Why Not b/c they're a) a delight & b) a flexible role lol#they can just Exposit & Do Whatever as exhibited thusly. scan complete some asshole detected#LOS-307#asia kate dillon#our good dear friend the adorable nonbinary autistic repurposed (b/c they felt like it) chess supercomputer guidance counselor bestie#was also <_< abt like hmm released in '24 might not get that Voice On T change but that would rule (not majorly enough to tell imo)#looking up s3 lore yields months old ''Maybe'' & one [idk what if any source] In Production Expected To Air Feb '25#& i'll take the average of that as ''if it's in production; or going to be; yes akd's voice will be audibly lowered'' It Would Be Great#like really a gem to just happen to have a trans VA's voice change present in recordings over a several year range here#but ofc already a gem what a fun role. i was just thinking about what a cute as hell delightful gift they are#and about ''yeah akd can do Intense Standout Even While Quiet Presence but give them more rambunctious playful lively ones too''#glad we Do have some more of those already. more LOS more ''give us another closer passing look at their apparent partner'' more concerts.#they're amped!! as the kids say!!! mmmwah i am kissing them#also why does akd's imdb page not credit them as narrator for one [visible: out on television] episode & featured on another. c'mon
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