#this is a real story btw

[go-johnny-go-go-go-go]

You know the hyperfixation is bad when you go into a cave and instead of listening to the real guide your brain starts playing Mick McNamara's Stumphole Caverns tour in your head.

[snowbunnytrick]

you are truly the most perverted fall out boy fan ever and i dream to reach your level one day

when i was thirteen i used to randomly check out cds from my tiny local library all the time and i would choose them just out of curiosity and how much i liked the album art and they had exactly two fob albums there, ioh and folie (it was 2011, so the selection was much more limited). i chose ioh because i liked the color palette more. i brought the cd home, flipped it over to look at the tracklist, and my eyes met the most beautiful man that thirteen year old shut-in autistic dipshit chai had ever seen in her miserable little new england life: a gorgeous, mischievous tan emo boy with a devilish smirk, slick raven hair, and sharp, glittering, knowing eyes. none of the others could compare. i simply didn’t see anyone else, only him. i thought he was so beautiful that i scanned the back of the cd case into my computer, printed out a copy, and cut his face out of it. i taped it to my wall right near my pillow and stared at him as i listened to the music. hum hallelujah was the best song i had ever heard in my life and i was devastated and delighted to learn that he had written something so unfathomably pretty and devastating. he was hurting. he needed to be fixed. and i had to be the one to do it. somehow.

after this, i checked folie out from the library because of course i needed to hear what other things he wrote and it was, again, some of the best music i had ever heard in my life. again, they showed me a picture of my beautiful boy in the lyric booklet, despondent and pouty-lipped and whiskey-eyed, thick with eyeliner, hair shiny under studio lights. i scanned this as well and taped him to my wall next to his initial portrait. peter lewis kingston wentz the third watched over me with his eternal, well-read, tender, violent, sugary enigmatic despair for years as i learned more about him as well as myself. and that’s why i’m like this. unless you’ve experienced the unending peril of pw haunting your dreams every night during the entirety of your adolescence, both during and after puberty, you cannot comprehend what it’s like to be inside of my head. and you are so lucky

[sylviareviar]

Okay, I have a real, dumb story about myself as a kid when my mom took us on vacation in Jamaica. I don't remember how old I was, maybe seven-ish years old or something, but I was little. I was in school. I spoke English (which is kind of a feat, since a couple years earlier I could only speak Russian, but then again, kids are wired to learn language because they have literally no knowledge). I was asking some people who worked in Jamaica where we were, but the answer I kept getting was "Jamaica." I asked where that is, in reference to America. They said it was outside of America.

I didn't like that answer and couldn't accept it. I kept incredulously asking why we were "outside" of America. I unironically thought, when I was a kid, and we didn't learn about other countries, that outside of America was void. There was no "outside of America". If you were born outside of America, you were an alien, and I don't mean the political "you're a foreigner kind," I meant I thought people outside of America had green skin and bug eyes.

When I learned, a couple years later, that Jamaica is a country of its own, suddenly everything made sense to me. I was so confused why there were people outside of America.

Honestly, the big kicker out of it is the only other place I knew that existed outside of America at the time was Russia. So as I was raised by two Russian parents, if we weren't talking about something American, the direct opposite of that was Russian. And if it wasn't America or Russia, then it was Mexico. That's it. Nothing else existed. Jamaica wasn't real. France was a myth. We don't talk about British people (because I just thought they were high-and-mighty Americans). I was maybe seven years old and I didn't know Jamaica existed, even during the time I stayed there.

On that note, I remember enjoying my time in Jamaica. There was this one man who, according to my mom (and my last few memories) would go to the ends of the island to fulfill every "wish" I had, like "I wish I had fries" or "I wish I had a soda" or something. He would rush around and get me what I wanted, and looking back, it was most likely the "necessary" thing to do to keep the tourists (us) happy. Meanwhile I just looked at the stuff he brought as though it was magic and didn't once say thank you to him.

I feel so sorry for whoever brought me all those things and went with me and my siblings' bullshit just because they had to or because they needed a paycheck or something. I enjoyed my time there when I was little, but I wish now that it hadn't been at anyone's expense (and if it wasn't, I wouldn't remember, because my memories of that time are foggy). I know he'll never hear it, since he probably doesn't use Tumblr, but I just wanted to finally extend a thank-you for the service he and the rest of the hotel staff there have done for me.

Finally, I'd like to say this: please teach kids in America about other countries sooner. When I learned Jamaica was "outside of America" I was scared and thought I would fall into some endless void that looked suspiciously like a beach paradise. I unironically thought I was in a simulation. It is both funny and sad to think that it took me so long to learn Jamaicans are real.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

[meglyfer]

You don't realise how much you look after your family until you start fooling around with face up with your friends and suddenly you turned into your brother

[milfbro]

well I for one think if the richest woman in the whole world wants to give a billion dollars to her resident gay leech who's the only fun thing in her boring ass puritan downton abbey life I think she should just be able to do it without all these people getting on her dick about it

[peanutseagle]

imagine being obsessed with drawing your crush haha couldn't be me 💕

[tunapesto]

so when I die which I must do,

could it shine down here with you?

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[epiphainie]

honestly every time i remember buck is canonically bi and is dating a man now i get so 😳😳😳 about it. like in our fandom sphere it's easy to say he's been bi-coded for years and joke with all the "wbk"s but i genuinely think people are missing what a gamble it was for ABC to pick up a show from another network and go this route with a main character that the majority of the audiences wasn't as percipient about.

buck's case is so singular imo because there are still certain - silent - rules to queer rep in mainstream media. the audiences are almost always clued-in on a character being queer early, for example. it's either shown immediately or mentioned in conversation in those first few scenes/eps the characters are established. if a character is not out, then they are not out to the rest of the characters, not the audience. if a character doesn't know they're queer yet - or ready to accept it - again, the audience knows, the story/foreshadowing is clear about it.

i can't think of a single other example where a main character - who's been nominally straight for multiple seasons - realizes they're queer later in life like this. where it wasn't planned beforehand, wasn't an explicitly or intentionally threaded storyline, wasn't just a one-liner saying "oh yeah ofc he kissed men before" ofc i didn't watch all television ever created in the history of television but i genuinely think this was such a pioneering writing choice mainstream tv hasn't done before. i wish we could all have been more happy with it instead of *gestures* all this.

[seagreenstardust]

“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”

Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.

His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.

Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all

[itslilacokay]

HE GOT OUT GUYS NO WAY (this is a definitely real ava 11 screenshot)

[ryan-sometimes]

My great grandma was a witch.

My great grandma was a witch, or a psychic, or whatever you wanna call her. My family is from a very small town in a rural part of Brazil, in a region known as the Paraíba valley. The words “witch” or “psychic” would’ve meant nothing to her, but that’s the best way to describe what she was in English. She didn’t have visions, but she could touch objects and know things about them that she had no way of knowing.

She could touch pictures and know whether the person in it was alive or not. She said living people had “life energy,” while dead people did not. Sometimes, she would touch a picture of someone and say their life energy was “flickering,” and that person would die soon afterwards.

She also found missing people. Although she was never a psychic for money (she made no money whatsoever from her “gifts” during her life), people would still come to her and ask for help. Perhaps most noteworthy was the mayor of her small town. His young adult son had gone missing, and the mayor was struggling to find him with the police, so he came to my great grandma as a last resort.

The mayor brought her a picture of his son. She touched the picture and said that his son was alive, that he was okay, and that he left town out of his own free will. She insisted that he was not hurt in any way, and that no one forced him to leave. However, she said that he would come home soon, as he would see “something dead” and it would scare him into coming home.

Sure enough, a couple of days later, the mayor’s son returns. It turned out that he had simply run away from home, but that he saw a dead dog in a park and it scared him so much he came home.

This is only one of many things she predicted, or simply knew. She always knew things by touching objects specifically. She didn’t get visions or know things out of nowhere- she had to touch them. I’m 100% an atheist and do not consider myself spiritual at all, but I can’t deny that things have happened in my family which I cannot explain.

[al-luviec]

something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)

[robbyykeene]

Anyway I wish this show was actually bold enough to give Miguel an arc exploring his feelings of entitlement over the captaincy spot. Throughout the show Johnny has repeatedly told Miguel that Robby is a lost cause but hey, It’s okay because he has Miguel now. That Miguel’s his champion, his Number One Boy. So how could Miguel not feel at least somewhat entitled to the captain spot? How could he not feel insecure about his place in Johnny’s life with Robby not just back in the picture, but now literally taking the number one spot? When Johnny has repeatedly put into both kids heads that when it comes to his love and attention its one vs. the other, how could there be no lingering feelings of resentment and jealousy?

[prostocupoftea]

Kinitopet Programmers AU

finally i am finished with this one, daaaamn

it is hard to draw pathetic men with midlife crisis when your style is mostly for anime boys

more info and sketch version under the cut!!

sketch version aka how it'll probably look like in comic version 'n some doodles

srry for my writing but i was too laisy to put it as regular text

It is a plot-based au, i already have most of the storybits and like... a vibe-chart (i tried to make a playlist for this au and understood that for different chapters and different characters that'd be a copleatly different music, sooo it's a chart now :) )

i will post a fog-o-wared timeline that im hopefully gonna reveal comic-by comic, but also maybe with just pure writing. Hopefully i can include songs that i chose for them into it but we'll see (:

aaand of course designs can change, hopefully not much but we'll see

Now about au:

Main story:

Story follows non-sentient AI Kinito, his creator Sonny and his beta-tester Victoria (oc)

Being literally the first AI (or RRA in-univere) ever, Kinito does not have any, and i mean, any ai safety features so of course his reponce to a goal phrased as "have user near me and/or interacting with me as much as possible" is digitizing them into his own virtual world while killing them in the process. why wouldn't it be?

So that happened. Like, a lot. And with Sonny and Vic too (at the different time but yeah)

Sonny is like "He kills people. We should turn him off because, you know, killing people is bad."

Vic is like "well, we will die if we do that, and it is not that bad here, we are kinda immortal. We should give him acces to changing his initial instalation code before admin priveleges and acces to social media so we can have everythin we want here. It is not that bad to digitize humanity, yk?" and yes i know it is 90, no social media, but shut up, if they made ai then, then i can make twitter then too

Sonny is like "...no??"

And then they fight about it for million chapters

Also they both can't do anything without agreeing bc they have two parts of that admin access key (the data you use to delete kinito in-game) so they are stuck with eachother (also that's why Kinito can't just kill them)

Little facts that may or may not to be important:

Kinito asks so many questions (and weird once too) and has most of the glitches because he needs to analise your responces to copy your mind perfectly (let's pretend that people wouldn't lie about that...)

Your house in your virtual world is made from important places from your memories and oh boy can i do character explorations with this one

I decided that Sonny and Vic are not related. There were thoughts about making then "The Kinito Brothers" (or, at least, siblings) that were mentioned in commercial, but nah, they are just coworkers now. And a bit of work-friends (bc if you interact a lot as a manager of the project and the best worker might as well be friendly)

Author has no idea how small dying toy companies that accidentally create technological marvel work. Author has some idea how AI-s work. So be prepared to be spoon-fed info abut which ai safety problem we are dealing with in which chapter (:

Kinito will mostly be unrendered (as drawn here) but for some cool moments i might pose him as for my other posts. Also his eye placement changes to the side that is most visible because i want him to be able to look to the right side sometimes--

Also when i say "fucked up mentally" i mean they have that them psychological problems with me projecting heavilly B) (guess on who i project most. trick question. all of them. the whole au is my problems split into three characters and forced to interact B) )

Also sea-creature analogies (that are gonna be mentioned like twice):

Victoria is a flying fish because deep character reasons

Sonny is a pufferfish because i said so

oh also there is 7 deaths in the plot as for now

on 3 characters

good luck figuring out who, how and when ((:

for my own sanity i will probably make little doodles where everything is great and kinito is a good guy and not a number-obsessed maniac (i mean... can u imagine not being able to feel any happiness from anything besides one thing... damn...) and you can differenciate them bc good-guy kinito will have a lot of stickers on him (i will explain it somehow but real reason is just bc it is cute af)

like this but even more stickers (he is unfinished here)