#this is a lot of reflection
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WHAT YEAR IS IT. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YEAR IT IS. IS IT A YEAR WHERE FAT IS A BAD WORD OR IS IT 2023??? YOU COWARDS BETTER START PUTTING SOME RESPECT ON THIS FAT GUY'S NAME OR I'M GONNA START BLOCKING. I WISH I WAS JOKING.
#if you use the term “friend-shaped” to describe fat people#even if it's a damn drawing of a character who is not real#a million fat guys with machine guns are gonna break down ur door#because it says a lot about how you see real people#stop it.#reflect for a while
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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i have a thought about pjo that i can't quite articulate but it goes along the lines of:
athena gave annabeth as a gift to frederick because she liked his search for knowledge. in athena's eyes, any action of annabeth's reflects herself, which is why annabeth 'embarrassing' her had such strong consequences
poseidon fell in love with impertinent, stubborn sally jackson. percy wasn't a gift to her - he is a cumulation of all of her stubborn, steadfast love.
why wouldn't poseidon still love and aid percy when all of percy's insolence is why he loved sally in the first place?
#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#sharpie says shit#pjo series#pjo tv show#annabeth chase#poseidon#athena#sally jackson#frederick chase#idk if i said it right#but basically#athena sees her children as boons she has given to the world#poseidon sees percy as a reflection of the woman he loved enough to break a vow for#annabeth sassing the gods is an embarrassment#percy sassing the gods is him being the Son of Sally Jackson#idk i just have a lot of feelings
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everybody's soldier
#poor guy's got a migraine (and I will too if I look at this any longer)#scott summers#cyclops#I hope the 'reflections' in his beams make sense#spectrecowboy art#my art#digital art#digital drawing#scott summers fanart#mild eyestrain#cyclops fanart#xmen#he's just an autism guy with lots of head trauma#xmen fanart#x men comics#x men 97#x men#ps read the alt text
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sometimes everything just sucks real real real bad
#bonnie my beloved perceptive no filter bonnie my fucking beloved#divorce ass fucking ship dynamic. you are upsetting the fucking children.#isat spoilers#isat fanart#isat#in stars and time fanart#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#lucabyteart#sifloop#YES THIS GOES IN THE SHIP TAG. DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE#anyway i have a lot of thoughts on loop and bonnie as im sure does everyone. both before and after they learn who they are#i think a lot about how loop has several lines gently reassuring siffrin that bonnie never actually hated them. they've had time to reflect#and while theyve not healthily come to terms with much... they seem to actually have come to understand that one... and yet...#they aren't siffrin anymore now are they?#anyway im off on my travels for the next 2 weeks ! my wips shall stay that way for a while! yes this is a fucked one to leave u with!!!#byeeeee !!! ill be back !!!!#sorry to the claude wip for being stuck in purgatory for like over a month im usually not like this <3#abuse tw#as requested
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Sobbing uncontrollably reading through a dissertation about the college experience of students with ADHD. It is like reading a report about my life that just says over and over "My experiences are real. My hardships are real. I am not lazy, I am not dumb. My struggles were not my fault, and they were not a moral failing. The failure was with the system, not with me."
Here's a line that got me in particular:
"Hotez et al.(2022) compared the health, academic, and non-academic capacities of a nationally representative sample of U.S. first-year college students with ADHD and without ADHD. Students with ADHD self-reported lower academic aspirations and more feelings of depression and overwhelm, ranking themselves lower in their general emotional health. The fact that students with ADHD scored in the highest 10th percentile for many non-academic traits, such as artistic ability, computer skills, creativity, public speaking, social confidence, self-understanding and understanding of others, compassion, and risk-tasking, suggests that this population has strengths that are frequently underappreciated in academia."
(the paper is a thesis called "Understanding the Collegiate Experience for Students With ADHD" by Gia Long, 2022)
#adhd#actually adhd#i often hyperbolize but i am dead serious when i say sobbing uncontrollably. this is why i was putting off this assignment.#1000 years of hell to professors who assign self-reflection papers /hj#i dont feel comfy posting the pdf bc its not mine butttt.. i will share it to people who dm me.#edit: pages 80-85#edit: thank you to everyone who reached out and asked for the pdf!! i wasn’t expecting this reaction#keep reaching out I’ll keep sending it#if anyone is interested but struggles to read academic papers pls ask me for help bc I’ve gotten a lot of practice with them and am Glad to#expand someone’s access to a paper like this
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A tribute to the transmasc body
#my art#transgender#trans#transmasc#trans man#top surgery#needles#ask to tag any further stuff#i really wanted to make something a bit more personal#my school semester is almost over so ive been doing a lot of self reflection
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Have you heard of the “dark academia aesthetic”? If so, do you like it and have you employed it into the ~vibes~ and ~themes~ of some of your work? Asking because I’ve seen many people interpret Magnus as belonging to that kind of vibe and wondering if that was your intended vision
It's hard to articulate why exactly this ask a amuses me so much. Essentially "dark academia" tends to be a slightly cartoonish fashioned-up vision of old British scholarly institutions, as interpreted by American kids who are just picking up on the vibe. As a Brit who's spent most of their life in London, Oxford, Manchester and the various libraries and museums therein, it's not an aesthetic or a vibe - it's just what I know. Also, from what I can tell one of the other main inspirations for "dark academia" is adaptations of Victorian and Edwardian spooky fiction (James, Blackwood, Dickens, etc.) which are exactly the sort of ghost stories I was reading as a kid and which inspires a lot of my work.
So, I guess my feeling is Magus wasnt aiming for a dark academia vibe - dark academia is aiming for a *Magnus* vibe. And it's not nailing it.
#Always weird the way a lot of these things completely divorce aesthetics from their inspiration#And treat the reflection as the reality
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One of the best (/sarcastic) things about being friends with certain cis women is that they'll make these little comments like
"oh I just hate whenever someone's upset at me calling them girlypop or girl or babygirl lol!! Like I use that for everyone" and "I hate all men!! Kill all men haha!"
and I just have to place my bets on hmm, is this woman's friendship conditional on how feminine she considers me? And how long will it take after I start testosterone for her to drop me?
#this has happened a couple of times#I never stay close friends with them#transandrophobia#transmasc#reflecting on this phenomenon#and wow I've met a lot of people like this#'when we're mocking men we're not mocking You!!!' in response to me expressing discomfort#so I've stopped expressing discomfort#maybe I should start again or something
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Valentré bridge, Cahors by sir20
#original photographers#photographers on tumblr#photography#europe#france#sir20#photographie#fotografía#fotografia#fotografie#artists on tumblr#original photography#creators on tumblr#bridge#lot#cahors#occitanie#reflections#reflection#medieval#architecture#architecture photography#urban landscape#urban#urban photography#cityscapes#cityscape#river#landscapes#landscape
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Act II ~ The Challenge
A tapestry for chapter 2 of Let No One Sleep by @azalawa-scroggs on ao3
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#nmbb#happy fantasy au day of narumitsu week!!#this part of the story is especially fun for all the riddles#it reminded me a lot of the games and i adored it so i definitely wanted to reflect that in the work!#shoutout to their dynamic being guys who fight who should also kiss#ace attorney#maya and von karma are there if you can spot them at the top haha#fan art#aa#rendevok#this is the second in the series so be sure to stick around for the final tapestry and chapter :^)))))#i love edgeworths outfit in this bc he looks like he’s ddripping (he is (in gold)) [insert joke about his drip]#also wanted this one to be most like his canon capcom cafe look!#im stupid proud of the riddle borders everyone please clap i worked SO HARD ON THOSE#anyway narumitsu please makeout pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepLAEASEEE#no id (yet)
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I love how the general consensus in Scum Villain ABO fics is that whatever Shen Jiu's secondary gender was, he was lying about it.
Omega? Obviously he's going to cover that up. Potential weakness! Probably related to past traumatic experiences! No one can know! He's going to pretend to be either a Beta or an Alpha instead.
Alpha? Hates it and everyone else and has no interest in playing the type. Hides it less because of how other people might respond and more because he's having some kind of complicated dysphoria about it.
Beta? I've never see it but I bet he'd disguise that as well. He's totally an Alpha, don't ask questions, fuck off and don't violate the mile-wide personal space bubble.
Whatever Shen Jiu is, we all know he'd be wildly uncomfortable with it.
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#I think that might reflect the source of a lot of the character's contrariness#he's actually more comfortable in some ways with being misunderstood#even if it's in unflattering or outright criminal ways#because at least if he's being misunderstood then he's not truly being perceived
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Some writing asks!
Can you talk about a work you're really proud of? What about it do you like? Was it a challenge to write?
How about a work you're not particularly proud of, but posted anyway? What about it do you not like? Are there parts you wish you could go back and change? Are you happy you went ahead and posted it even if you're not 100% happy with it?
Thank you for the questions, Kye 🥰
There are two fics I'm very proud of and it's both of my entries for the Sanders Sides Big Bang, Vacation and Hurt No One Knew About.
Vacation was my longest fic since I stopped writing in German. When I first started writing fanfiction (ironically because I was bored in Physics class 😅) I had a lot of fun with it. I immediately got comments on how good I was writing, I made online friends, I was motivated. But that quickly fell apart and from the three fics I stared writing in that first week (all Kingdom Hearts and multiple chapters), I only ended up finishing one and that took me three years with basically no readers anymore. Which was fine, at that point I just wanted to have one done.
That experience led to me taking a long pause from writing until I got into South Park and then I didn't feel up for another big project. I had ideas for some, and I still have those Wips and kinda hope I'll get back to them one day, but I didn't feel comfortable starting to publish a story I wasn't sure I would finish.
So taking on Vacation was a challenge. I had the idea a while before the event and saw it as a good opportunity to try it out, especially with a team that should keep my motivated (they didn't really, but that's a different subject). I had the basic idea, I needed to get over 6k and so I started writing. And the story ended up becoming much longer than I anticipated.
I was so proud of myself after finishing it, I still am super proud of it 🥰 I love the imagery of the library, especially since I usually struggle a lot with visualization.
Vacation was them the inspiration for Hurt No One Knew About. The structure was nice, I really enjoyed the character dynamics and I wanted to do it again but bigger. So I did.
It was a lot of fun. Again the imagery still makes me proud of myself, I like my characterization, I loved how I managed to power through it and publish all the chapters on time with the schedule I set myself. The story took a lot out of me but I am so happy I trusted myself and wrote it till the end and working with the team was a lot of fun, with much less hiccups this time around 💙
As for a work I'm not proud of... I can't say I'm not proud of it at all or that I regret writing it, but my last entry for Intrulogical Week 2021, the second chapter of Always is probably the one I feel worst about. Mainly because it's so underwhelming compared to the first chapter. I wanted to write it as a connection to the Intrulogical Week the year before and give a conclusion to the story but I didn't prepare it very well and it feels very flat since it's basically just a summary and not an actual story. The first chapter was received so well and I don't think I got much feedback at all for the second.
It's a bad habit of mine to write the entries to ship weeks last minute and while that often works out rather well, this is an example where it definitely was the wrong decision...
Still, I'm glad I gave the story an ending, even if in hindsight, I should've approached it differently 😅
#ask#ask answered#thank you kye!#this is a lot of reflection#there's more stories I'm proud of#(in fact it's most of them)#but Vacation is always at the forefront as the first project I really fell in love with after a long long time#it's got a special place in my heart
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paint it over
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#gregory edgeworth#ace attorney fanart#mitski#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#I think about this a lot#how like…now he’s his dad’s age…#and he has glasses like his dad#my HC: he’s always needed glasses. but von karma wouldn’t allow him to get them because then he wouldn’t be ‘perfect’#and that perfectionist mindset stuck with him for a long while#and it wasn’t until the 7yg that he finally was able to feel okay enough with the idea of having glasses#that he actually got them#ik this art is like angsty but I actually think he would be really happy to see a little bit of his father in his own reflection#he goes from being more like Von Karma to finally becoming more like his own father#ALSO!! because he has those memory issues…😨
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I know some dickheads have now decided that Judaism is the "bad, violent, terrorist religion" and Islam is the "good, peaceful" one, which is only to be expected of white people, but how much of an issue is it currently? Like I've seen some USAmericans sharing how the Islamic faith shapes Gazans values and perseverance (good) except with that distinct white hippie "I'm about to imprint on this like the world's most racist duck" vibe (bad), but I didn't think they're already turning on Judaism in numbers.
Do they realize that Christianity is also the same kind of comfort to Christian minorities in Asia and Africa? That it was Buddhists that genocided the Rohingyas in Myanmar and Tamils in Sri Lanka? That Hindu fundamentalists are even now trying to ethnically cleanse Muslims in India? How Hindus and Christians are terrorized and persecuted in Pakistan? That Muslims have a history of persecuting and ethnically cleansing Jews too?
Really tired of asking y'all to be normal about people's religions man. There's no religion that's inherently violent or exceptionally peaceful. It's just like any other ideology that becomes a weapon in the hands of ethnic power. Interrogate power, not religion, and respect people's belief systems insofar as they aren't in your business.
Edit: I've amended the "long history" of Muslim persecution of Jews because it might be misleading in the current political climate. Zionism and antisemitic Arab nationalism are twin births resulting directly from Christian colonization, and Islamic empires tended to actually be more tolerant of other religions compared to Christianity, especially Judaism, which was considered a sibling religion. Antisemitism wasn't ideologically entrenched in Islamic tradition. It's simply that ethno-religious power will lead to ethno religious domination and intermittent cleansing of minorities, and Islam is no exception. Humans be humaning always.
#Edit: please boost the edit#why can't white people just be fuckin normal for once#tbh this site was so weird about Judaism that it felt almost culty#I had several crises about whether I was being antisemitic before I realized no I'm just reacting to the idealization-demonization binary#that seems to be all western leftists know how to do#white queers are the worst about this#and now some of the asks I've been getting gives me the impression that the west thinks ''Islamist'' is some kind of dangerous cryptid#y'all attach insane levels of importance to people's choice of headgear#the only common denominator of all the Muslims I know is their fixation on biriyani idk#a lot of white lefties just want to use religion to distance yourself from your white privilege#same reason as why communism is so attractive to you#y'all want to share in a legacy of oppression because it's easier than self-reflection and unlearning#antisemitism#anti Zionism#Islamphobia#philosemitism#white queers#western leftists#racism#religious fundamentalism#genocide#religious violence#knee of huss
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My thoughts here mainly revolve around YSA as the mary sue/female lead type character:
She goes from being this perfect woman to. just being a woman. And my idea is that the weight gain isn't there to make her "unconventionally attractive," or whatever other dumb phrase you wanna use to avoid calling someone ugly, but to make her conventionally attractive, yet realistic.
Instead of looking like a skinny waifu character, she looks like a skinny human woman. Her hair swaying in the nonexistent wind isn't as perfect, her magic blush is missing and she has eyebags. She's still hot, just more human.
#and if you look at it then the left ysa looks a lot more like her doesnt she?#congratulations if youre the exception but most folk seeing this would prefer the left#or at least feel like the left resembles ysa more#and im not saying this judgementally. 1) i draw tons of women like this and 2) they're drawings and not real life humans#(theres a time and place to discuss representation of body diversity etc but this post isn't about that rn.#its an important discussion that deserves respect and its own space. this is a 5am ramble)#anyways. ysa strays from the ideal woman. she grows to be more human in her behavior and depiction and everything#and it would be quite fun to reflect that in the way she's drawn#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#yoo sangah#my doodles#orv meta#i guess?
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