#this is a few months old when it was trendy and all that

[dondonten]

you know that one dance

[bunnywonyo]

I THINK I READ THE WRONG PINOCCHIO

g!p puppet yujin x toy maker’s daughter! reader

synopsis: classic puppet becomes a human but instead of going out to get swallowed by a whale, this puppet fuck their toy maker’s daughter.

word count: 1.8k

tags: agalmatophilia, smut

growing up with your father, you grew to also love the toys he made. from the wooden dolls to the mini animal sculptures that he himself carved. but your favorite type of toys that your father has made were the puppets.

the puppets, there was something about them that has drawn you. it might be their realistic faces or their names or even the fact that they kept you company whenever your father goes out of town to buy toy making materials. this day is another one of those occasions when your father will be gone for a few days to buy materials.

“it won’t take long y/n, i’ll be back in no time. now you be careful here, ok? you know where our food is kept right? i also asked our neighbors to occasionally check up on you, if you run into any trouble just yell for them. also, don’t for to lock the— ”

“i know dad, we go through this every two months since i can remember, i’m already used to it by now.”

“i know, but your old man just can’t help himself. i don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“It’s ok dad besides like you said the neighbors are here plus the puppets keep me company!”

"alright, but promise me you'll be careful," he added, hugging you tightly before grabbing his travel bag.

"i promise, dad," you said with a smile, hoping to reassure him. You slammed the door behind him and turned to face the room full of his works.

you approached the shelf, where the puppets were carefully placed, each with its own unique personality. there was wonyoung, the elegant princess; kazuha, the graceful ballerina; and giselle, the trendy fashionista. however, one puppet struck you the most: yujin, a mysterious puppet with hauntingly gorgeous eyes and a face that was both feminine and masculine.

yujin was by far your favorite among the countless puppets that your father has created. the way her face was sculpted to perfection, those dark brown eyes that seem to be alive, and the way her skin looks so soft despite being made of wood. her unexpected appendage down there was also a bonus(your father explained that yujin was supposed to be a boy but later changed his decision).

you reached out and picked up yujin, feeling a sense of comfort rush over you while holding her in your hands.

as the day passed by, you always had yujin by your side. whether it was to feed the chickens or to bring in the clothes that were set to dry. there was something about her that drew you in, something that, unlike everyone else, gave you the impression that you in some way, were understood.

before long, darkness fell and you had to remain indoors with your puppet companion, even though you have kind neighbors all around you, you never know when danger is around.

after making sure that you’ve locked all possible entrances, you’ve decided to light a few candles and turned on the kitchen light, creating a cozy, warm atmosphere. you then decided to cook some warm vegetable soup. the comforting aroma soon spread out through the whole house making you hum in delight.

once in a while you would glance at yujin who you propped by the dining table. the gentle flicker of the candles danced across yujin's face, giving the puppet an almost lifelike appearance. time passed by and you were soon done cooking. you prepped up the table and got all the necessary utensils to finally eat.

“yujin!! dinner’s ready!” you yelled even though you knew she was a puppet.

‘damn i must be going crazy’

sitting down, you took a sip of the soup, moaning in delight at the taste.

“you know yujin,” you started. “with you here, it doesn’t really feel lonely at all”

the puppet, unresponsive, just sat there yet her wooden eyes somehow looked like they were focused and listening intently to you.

shaking your head, you continued “i wish you were alive yuj, oh the stories i could tell you and the things we could do together.”

“you could walk independently, you could taste my cooking, you could……you could feel love—my love” you lighty ranted

but what you didn’t know was this simple wish of yours could lead to you getting any sleep at all tonight wink wink

after finishing dinner, you cleaned up the dining room and kitchen and also put away the leftovers. you did your nightly routines before putting yujin beside you in your bed.

“goodnight yuj” you say before kissing her on the lips and turning off the lights. you glanced at her one more time before closing your eyes as your consciousness drifts off to dreamland

“y/n”

“psst y/n”

“y/n wake up”

rubbing your eyes, you groaned in annoyance as your sweet slumber was interrupted.

“who is it? what happened? is the kitchen burning?” you asked but you were only answered by the sound of someone giggling.

“who the—WHAT THE FUCK!” you began to talk, but your words were cut short when you lost your balance.

falling off the bed with a bang, you landed on the floor in a tangle of bedding and limb. the force of the fall jolted you completely awake, and you sat up, scratching your head and looking around in confusion. as you struggled to get your bearings, you noticed Yujin sitting up on the bed, her eyes wide with concern. except yujin was no longer a puppet; she was fully alive, with human-like features and a concerned look.

"are you okay?" yujin asked, her voice quiet but filled with concern.

you blinked, trying to fully take in what you were seeing. "yujin? how... how are you alive?" you gasped, looking at her with surprise.

yujin looked down at herself, then back at you, equally bewildered. "i don't know," she said, shaking her head slightly. "one moment i was a puppet, and the next... i'm like this."

you stood up still trying to take in the whole situation when she spoke up again

“y/n i think it might be the kiss” she said

“the kiss?” you repeat feeling your cheeks flush as you remembered what you did a while ago

“yeah the kiss, it might’ve been some kind of magic” she explained while standing up, her tall figure towering over you.

as everything sank in, you realized how close yujin was standing in front of you. you stared at her and you could see her staring back at you. slowly, like a dream, you both leaned in. your breaths mingled, your eyes locked, and suddenly, as if driven by an invisible force, your lips touched in a soft, long kiss. it was delicate at first, but soon turned rough.

yujin placed her hands on your shoulders and deepened the kiss, her lips soft and warm on yours. your heart raced in your chest, and you felt yourself melting into the moment. before you knew it, yujin has already pushed you back to your bed, her body hovering over you.

the two of you locking lips for a while before you broke the kiss “i can’t believe this is real,” you gasped “i’ve been dreaming of this moment for a long time now.”

yujin smirks, hands squeezing your ass before replying, “me too princess, ever since i became conscious.”

you blush at the nickname before feeling something hard press against your thigh.

“yujin is this?..........” you trailed off, pertaining to the ‘thing’ poking your thigh.

“it’s exactly what you think it is princess” her smirk still there, her hand now rubbing your crotch. “i know you want this too.”

“let me take care of you” she whispered, her voice dropping an octave.

you nod in response, heart beating rapidly in anticipation. yujin’s hand moved smoothly across your bodies, slowly undressing the two you. your body shivered at the cold air when she finally finished undressing you. yujin stared at your body with a predatory gaze causing you to cover yourself with your arms. she chuckles at your attempt to cover yourself before grabbing your arms, preventing you from further trying to.

“don’t cover your body princess, your beautiful” she says as she leans to your neck, gently nipping it making you blush

with the two of you now bare, you could finally properly her length. if you had to guess, it was around 8 inches and it was quite girthy. it was veiny and had a huge prominent vein stemming from the base to the underside of the tip.

yujin positioned herself between you, looking into your eyes searching for any signs of discomfort or hesitation. seeing none, she guided her length to your core.

she penetrated you with a slow, deliberate thrust, and you yelped in pleasure. yujin stopped, giving you a moment to adjust, her gaze never leaving yours. "are you okay?" she said softly, her voice full of worry and love.

"yes," you whispered, your body craving more. "please, yujin... don't stop."

with your consent, yujin starts thrusting. each thrust harder and faster than the last one, this lead to you being a moaning and panting mess.

“you like that?” she pants, sweat running down her cheeks. “you like it when i turn you into a moaning mess?”

“yes!” you gasped. “i…–ahhh love it yujin! harder please i–ahhh want more.”

hearing this, yujin smirks before gripping your hips as she increases her pace, her eyes locked straight into yours. her gaze making you feel small.

"you're mine," she whispered, her voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine. "and i'm gonna make you feel so good."

her words drove you over the edge, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. you screamed out her name, your nails clawing her back, pulling her closer as your climax came.

yujin continued to thrust into you, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she chased her release. when she finally reached it, her body tightened, a loud, guttural cry from her lips as she gushed inside you, filling you entirely.

for a few moments, you both lay there, tangled together, your breaths mingling as you came down from your high. yujin brushed a strand of hair away from your face, her gaze softening with affection that made your heart flutter.

“i know we might be going a bit too fast but i love you y/n.” she whispered, her voice filled with sincerity.

you blush at her words before replying “it’s okay yuj, we’re in this together” you cup her cheeks. “and i love you too.”

yujin smiles at your words, leaning in to kiss you. “i’m gonna cherish this chance of being alive to prove to you how much i love you.” she promises.

you held her close, experiencing an overwhelming feeling of completeness and happiness you had never had before. the two of leaned in for one last before getting settled in bed to sleep.

“............”

“hey y/n?”

“hmm?”

“i think i’m getting hard again”

oh boy……..

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (2)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.5k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: PINING, sexual tension, sad backstory, parental issues, more than likely bad swimming terminology, probably some bad work out advice, i'm trying my best lol, tae is too much but i love him, talks of past drug use (not reader or jimin), strong language, mental health things, medication use, allusions to depression, did i say pining?, reader is horny and awkward 99% of the time, can we blame her?, mood swings, i think they are so cute together, i promise more romance is coming soon A/N: Howdy. I know we're having a pretty slow start, but I think it'll be worth it in the end. I enjoy a good slow burn, especially when there's so much awkward sexual tension involved. Thanks for reading!!!

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Waking up the next morning, I was greeted by a loud knocking on my door. Stumbling, I told whoever it was that I was on my way. The knocking stopped but was quickly followed by Violet’s loud voice. My things were here, and I needed to let the movers inside.

“Christian and Kook are here already,” She added. “Managed to get an extra pair of hands, too.”

I changed into a pair of jeans and threw on a pull over. It was not supposed to be as cold today, but I did not think a short-sleeved shirt would be enough to keep me warm. Sliding into my boots, I opened the front door.

Violet was there, her hair in a braid again, wearing a blue plaid shirt and bootcut jeans. Beside her was Jimin, a large smile already on his face. Two other men were here. I was certain I had seen one of them before. He was very handsome with a heart shaped face and soft chin, large, asymmetrical brown eyes, and downturned lips. His hair was very obviously dyed, the blue so bright when the sun hit it my eyes hurt.

The other man was less familiar. His hair was black, styled into a trendy wolf cut, with his bangs pulled out of his face into a ponytail. He had a pure, youthful, and elegant look about him, and a few piercings. There was one on his eyebrow, one on his bottom lip, and so many on each ear I could not count them all. If I could describe him in a single word, it would be cartoonish. His eyes took up most of his face, large and doe-like, with all of his other features soft and small. Like the blue haired man, he was very handsome.

This upset me more than it should have, because despite how wonderful they both looked, all I could think about was how much I preferred Jimin. It was incomparable, actually. While they were certainly my type, I could only see how not Jimin-like their features were.

“Good morning,” I greeted them awkwardly, my voice scratchy. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“It’s such an honor to meet you,” The blue haired man’s enthusiasm caught me off guard. Despite me never making the move to shake either one of their hands, he reached for mine anyway. He reminded me of a labrador retriever, and I could imagine a tail wagging in time with his vigorous handshake. “I’m Taehyung Kim. I used to watch you, like, all the time back in the day.”

I knew that name. Studying his face a little more, it hit me. Taehyung Kim, a.k.a., The Seal of Michigan, a.k.a, V. I never understood why he had been given that last one, but it must have some sort of meaning to him because the guy lights up when anyone uses it. He was a famous snowboarder and had been to the 2020 winter Olympics. He was just a few months younger than Jimin.

“That’s very kind of you to say,” I gripped his hand back a bit more now. “I watched you at the last Olympics. You did great.”

He blushed and let go of my hand, “I didn’t win anything, but I had a lot of fun.”

That was true. The kid was brand new on the scene and let some of his nerves get to him. I had learned the hard way that hesitation could ruin a great performance, but I was sure he would do better in January. The Winter Olympics were always a few months ahead of summer, and I would surely be watching Taehyung this year. If I was going to spend time with Jimin then I would need to get along with his friends.

“It’s not always about winning,” I tried to comfort him. “I didn’t win every time either.”

That placated him. Jimin quickly introduced me to Jungkook after. He was an NHL player for the Red Wings. I admitted that I had no idea who he was and never really watched hockey before, but that only made Jungkook swear to make me an avid fan before I left Michigan. For some reason, I believed him.

It did not take long for the movers to get all of my furniture and boxes into the house. With the boys’ help, I was tipping the two men much earlier than I anticipated. All three of them insisted on helping me unpack despite me telling them I could do it on my own. The place was entirely too small for the four of us, but we managed to make it work.

I had told them my bedroom was off limits. I unpacked my clothes and put my underwear away. My room was the largest in the house. With enough space for my full-sized bed, nightstands, and dresser, I was pleased. The only downside was not having a closet, but I did not bring anything nice enough for it to really matter. It was inconvenient but not the end of the world.

I was, however, happy to see more color. My blanket was dark orange, pillowcases covered in baby pink cow print, and the otter plushie Namjoon’s mom made me was resting right in between them. I installed some simple shelving above my bed, warmly lit Christmas lights wrapped around the bars, where I displayed my books and a few of my plants. The rest were lined up on the windowsill beside the bed.

Brightly colored art now hung on the walls, a large mirror above my dresser, and a peg board for my earrings made the space feel lived in. Whatever books could not fit on my shelves got stacked and put on the nightstand. I still wanted to buy a rug and curtains, but that was on the bottom of my list of priorities.

The boys were all talking and laughing as they worked which helped me relax. I hated being trapped in quiet spaces. Finished with my room, I went to check in with them and move things around. I doubted any of them would get the knick-knacks just right.

“Don’t worry about the decorations,” I said, announcing my presence. Taehyung was staring at two of my paintings with mild panic. “I’ll take that.”

Snatching the photos, I smiled at him. The living room was coming together nicely. Jungkook pushed the dark green loveseat against the wall and all of my throws were on top of it. My largest potted plant was beside it and I decided then I would keep it there. Moving the throw pillows to the floor, I started to put my wall art up. Hoseok complained that I was going to become a hoarder if I bought any more shit. Andrea, however, said that I had great taste, so I listened to her instead.

“You’re a big face of Earthy colors,” Jungkook said, looking around the house. “Lots of plants, too.”

I shrugged, “My fiancé had a lot of succulents and stuff, so I guess it rubbed off on me after a while.”

In truth, Namjoon not only had succulents and cacti, but an entire apartment filled with plants. He had a small garden in the back, vegetables and herbs growing in despite the weather in Colorado making it difficult. The man had a green thumb and loved taking care of things. I had been in charge of them once we moved in together and learned to love it. Even after he died, I couldn’t imagine not having at least five plants in the house.

I noticed the room had gone eerily quiet. I realized then what I had said. It was the first time I had spoken about Namjoon with any of them. Knowing I had made the atmosphere awkward, I tried to break up the tension.

“What colors do you like, Jungkook?”

I could physically feel the mood lighten.

“Black,” His reply was quick. I groaned. He laughed. “What? I like the clean look.”

“It’s not clean,” I argued. “It’s depressing.”

Taehyung took my side, “My house isn’t as decorated as yours, but I have more going on than either one of them. I’m a huge fan of video games and photography so I have a lot of stuff hanging up.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Jimin chimed in from the bathroom. He placed himself in charge of getting that room squared away. “His place isn’t as nice as yours. It’s all cluttered and disorganized."

“Nu uh,” Taehyung argued childishly.

“Dude, you have stuff everywhere,” Jungkook shot back, handing me another picture frame.

“They’re lying,” Taehyung told me.

“You’re so full of shit, Tae,” Jungkook sighed.

“Literally the dumbest thing to lie about,” Jimin snarkily threw in from the bathroom.

“Bullies,” Taehyung was addressing me again and this time I could not help my chuckles. “They always gang up on me.”

As the boys continued to bicker, I worked. I finished hanging up the art above the sofa and got to organizing the throws. Taehyung had already pulled out my rug, and I started figuring out how I wanted to place all of the floor pillows. Namjoon never used the couch, no one in his family did, and I had become so conscious of their comfort that I always had a large array of pillows on the floor for them to use. After a few years, I had joined them, and I kept up the trend once I moved to the Springs. The sofa was little more than decoration.

“Damn, these are nice.”

Looking over my shoulder, I was surprised to see Jungkook holding up one of my medals. I was positive I had not packed it and the box he was hunched over was completely unfamiliar as well. Embarrassment and anger swelled up in my chest. I had placed Minho and Tilly in charge of coordinating with the movers so I could focus on work and training Hoseok before I left. If I had to guess, Tilly had thought it wise to ship over a large package of my most prized possessions for some God forsaken reason.

“I don’t know why those are here,” I hoped my voice sounded playful and carefree. I did not want another tense moment. “One of my friends must have packed them.”

“Holy shit,” Taehyung was now holding the medal. “These are heavy. You have so many.”

Walking over to the box, I took out the rest of the medals. Tilly had only packed four of the eight Olympic medals I owned, probably running out of room. Framed photos of me swimming, with the rest of my team, and my coach were also in the box. My swimsuit from the last Olympics I competed at was folded at the very bottom of the box, my goggles and cap wrapped up in the fabric, and underneath it was something I had not been expecting. A framed photograph.

I remembered that night as if it were yesterday. I was eighteen coming off the back of two major wins and making my mark in the athletic community. I had just moved to Denver; Victor had gotten divorced the year prior and his ex-wife moved to Colorful Colorado taking his daughter with her. My coach demanded he was close enough to see her every weekend. It really did not matter to me where I lived, so it was one of the easier decisions I had to make.

I knew Hoseok lived in the area, and we had always been friendly at the meets we had in common. I ended up getting his number from Ozzie and after getting coffee I knew we would be friends for life. The picture was taken at his New Year’s Eve Party. I needed to get laid, he had said, and he knew a few guys he thought I might hit it off with. That was where I met Namjoon.

He was a college student, fresh faced and stumbling over his words. I was charmed by him almost instantly, even if Hoseok was positive the two of us were too different to last. I could recall the smell of fireworks in the air, the way his voice cracked whenever another one would go off, and how excited his eyes looked whenever I asked him about his major. Namjoon spoke for hours about Philosophy, all of his favorite poets, and the way he believed the universe worked. He was so clumsy it was practically a disability, and the loud sounds were so nerve wracking, he flinched whenever the fireworks boomed.

Picking up the small picture, I smiled. It was taken right after midnight. Hoseok’s sister said we looked so sweet that she could not help herself. I had all but ripped Namjoon’s hair out when the countdown began, kissing him before midnight ever came. His hands rested gently on my hips, and he huffed like he had run a marathon when we finally pulled apart. His breath was hot when he went back in for more, panting into my mouth as I clung to him like an addict. It was a beautiful moment. It was a moment I would never forget.

Suddenly, I was no longer mad at Matilda. I was sure it had been her who did this. Minho would not go through so much trouble if he thought it would upset me. Either way, I was happy to have the picture. While I was no longer in love with Namjoon, my heart slowly healing itself and making space for someone new, I would never forget our time together. It was too perfect, too magical; too loving to forget.

“Is that him?” Taehyung asked. The way he said it told me that he knew what had happened. I doubted there was a person in our world who didn't know. “The guy who died?”

I nodded, “His name was Namjoon.”

“Damn, that’s rough,” Jungkook’s voice was very gentle, and I could hear the compassion in it. “Sorry to hear that. Hope you’re doing okay.”

I smiled at him and nodded, “It was a few years ago.”

Taehyung was the one who broke the moment this time and I was grateful for the reprieve.

“These aren’t all of them, right?” He pointed at the medals still in the box. "Olympic medals, I mean."

I shook my head, “No but I guess she just grabbed the ones I had at my house. The other four I keep at my school. They’re in a case in my office.”

The ones Tilly had packed away were from 2012. Andrea had been the one to convince me to bring my other medals to school. Before that I had them all stored in a box in the deepest corner of my basement. I hated looking at them. Hated everything that they represented. The only reason these had been hanging up was because I could not be bothered taking them down.

“Where should we put them?” Jungkook asked.

I shrugged, “No idea. Just keep them in the box for now.”

Truthfully, I had no intention of putting them anywhere. While happy to have the photo of Namjoon and I, my feelings on dragging these things around had not changed. I would be very upset if I lost or damaged any of this stuff. Putting everything away, save the picture, I closed the box back up and placed the photo on my coffee table. I would find a better place for it later.

Like all of the times I had been around him, Jimin bled into the background. I listened for his voice, waited for him to add something to the conversation, but he kept to himself. Even when he left the bathroom and joined the three of us, he only answered in one-word sentences and made sound effects to show he was listening. Taehyung and Jungkook seemed used to it, so I had to believe this was just how Jimin normally was.

“You should come and grab some drinks with us,” Jungkook smiled at me.

The boys were going out for a late lunch since we finished a little later than we had thought we would. I was appreciative that they had invited me out but declined the offer. All of them were disappointed.

“Why not?” Taehyung wiggled a large set of keys at me. I could not imagine what all of them could be for and the sound they made when they moved bothered me. “You worried the food’s going to suck or something?”

I shook my head, laughing, “No, it’s nothing like that. I just don’t feel comfortable going to a bar.”

Jimin smiled at me, a small, tight-lipped smile, and I almost laughed at myself when I realized I was holding my breath. I was being ridiculous. I would call Hoseok tonight to get my head screwed back on.

“It’s not a bar,” It was heavenly to hear his voice again. “Taehyung and I don’t drink. Jungkook just likes to sit at the bar so he can watch the games.”

“Oh,” I replied dumbly. “I guess I can come along then.”

Jimin offered to give me a ride while Jungkook and Taehyung rode in the hockey player's beat up Jeep. He was just as quiet on the ride to the restaurant as he was back at the house, and while I wanted to break him out of whatever shell he had put around himself, I had no idea how. We were supposed to work together and barely spoke. Ozzie was not going to be happy about this.

“What time are we getting your car?”

I jumped, not prepared for the question. His eyes were still on the road, and it looked like he was forcing himself to not look my way. It hurt my feelings, but I knew I would have to get over it. Whatever his problem was, it had nothing to do with me and I would not let it get in between our working relationship.

“Whenever you want to go,” I replied, going back to looking out of the window.

“We’ll pick it up after we eat. My mom invited you over for dinner. by the way. If you're up for it.”

This had been the most he had said all day, but his voice was off. It was embarrassing how quickly I had become attuned to his little mannerisms, but I was so sure that something was wrong with him it was eerie. His tone was flat and disinterested, and I knew I had done nothing to upset him. Something was obviously bothering him, and I would have to silently support him in my own way. I was not comfortable being more upfront and something told me that Jimin would not like my overstepping.

“I might,” I purposely kept my tone light, hoping he did not realize I could see the darkness in his eyes. Looking at him, I asked, “What is she making?”

“Beef and radish stew,” The mundane topic seemed to ease his frown. “She got a yellow corvina from the Asian market yesterday so she’s going to roast it. Do you like fish?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It sounds nice. I’ll go.”

A ghost of a smile graced his pretty face and I felt like I had won the lottery. Carefully composed, I looked back out of the window, hiding my little smile behind my hand. He was quiet again, the only sounds in the car being our breathing, but it felt lighter. Finally, I let myself admire the scenery.

Taehyung and Jungkook were already at the bar when we arrived and as soon as we sat down, the snowboarder was quick to hog all of my attention. While Jungkook watched a baseball game on the big screens, Taehyung talked animatedly about his family. Jimin was quietly sipping on a Coke in the seat next to me. It was strange to see how easily his friends ignored him. Like they knew he did not feel like talking.

“My sisters are both in college,” Taehyung continued to ramble. “Twins. It was a nightmare being the baby brother.”

I nodded along and tried my best to keep up with him. I kept getting distracted by Jimin. He barely moved and seemed to be mindlessly watching the tv. He looked so sad it broke my heart. Still, no one else said anything so I kept my thoughts to myself.

“Oh!” Taehyung gasped, noticing a few people who walked in. “I’m going to go say ‘hi.’ It was so great meeting you.”

With a bright smile, Taehyung told the boys about the group and Jungkook decided to join him. Jimin did not even acknowledge he had said anything. Leaving us alone, the restaurant was loud and filled with their chattering.

“Are you hungry?” I asked, trying to make conversation. Picking up the menu the bartender had left with Taehyung when we first arrived, I gave it a quick once over. “We can split an appetizer.”

Jimin looked tired and sad, but I did not know what to say or do for him. We were not lovers, not even friends. We were a pair of strangers who were expected to work together. This seemed much easier over the phone. I took a nervous sip of my drink.

“What are you thinking?” Just the sound of him talking eased my anxiety.

“Uh,” I had barely looked at their menu and pointed to a random item. “Fried pickles?”

Jimin smiled lazily and looked at me, his eyes amused.

“You don’t sound very sure of yourself.”

I shrugged, embarrassed. “I just said the first thing I saw.”

Putting his cup down, Jimin grabbed the menu from my hands and laid it flat on the bar. We leaned over the small paper, our knees touching. I could smell his cologne now and my mouth watered. He smelled so good I struggled to focus.

“Most of the shit here is awful,” His voice had more life in it now and I was glad to see the corners of his mouth pulled up. “Only things worth getting are the chips and salsa, fried cheese, and pasties. The pizza is fine, too, but not worth the money.”

Talking distracted him from whatever had been on his mind, and it made Jungkook and Taehyung’s behavior odd. They were obviously very close, but if I could see how much happier he looked when he was shooting the shit, how couldn’t they? They probably knew something I didn’t, but it did nothing but rub me the wrong way. My friends would annoy me until I had no choice but to talk back.

“Chips are usually pretty safe,” We both agreed on it. “Do you just want chips? I don’t mind getting you a burger or something.”

He shook his head, “Like I said, most of the shit here is awful. Don’t waste your money.”

I ordered the chips for us, and the bartender was happy to help us out. This place was pathetically empty save us and the group Jungkook and Taehyung ditched us for. They were very loud and rowdy, something Jimin said was completely normal. Apparently, they all knew one another but he hadn’t felt like spending time with any of them.

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked, heart pounding. My anxiety over the question was ridiculous, but I felt like this was a good moment to ask. We were both comfortable and the tightness around his eyes was finally eased.

“Just one of those days,” He replied, voice soft.

I sighed, “I get them, too. They’re the fucking worst.”

He chuckled darkly, “It’s like you wake up and that’s already taken all of the energy you had for the day.”

“Why’d you come to the house?” I asked, flagging the bartender for a refill. “I wouldn’t have been upset if you bailed.”

Jimin flushed, “I said I was coming so I came.”

No, I thought, you thought I was going to be mad if you hadn’t shown up. Hamilton had this poor kid so fucked up and scared it pissed me off. As long as I knew Matt, he had always been an ass, but to think he had his trainee putting shit before his mental health and wellbeing made whatever sliver of respect I had for him vanish.

I took a long sip of my drink, “We can’t work together if you don’t talk to me. That will piss me off way more than you canceling on me.”

“Okay,” He let out a very large breath. “I’ll let you know next time.”

As we ate our chips, we moved into safer waters. Jimin was still less talkative in person, but nowhere near as tense as he had been all morning. I found that music was one of his favorite things, and I discussed my own interests in more depth and detail than I ever had before. Jimin’s taste was varied but stuck mostly in 90s R&B and soft Indie artists I had never heard of. At some point I ordered spicy wings and had to admit Jimin was right- they really were awful.

We left the other two behind to go and pick up my car. Jungkook and Taehyung seemed more than happy to watch us leave and the large table barely acknowledged my presence. Jimin accepted their happy shouts when he approached, hugging the ones who stood up to greet him, and forced one of his small, pitiful smiles at a particular brunette who kept batting her eyelashes at him. He introduced me but none of them seemed to really care. Especially the brunette.

“Let me get your number,” Taehyung said to me, holding out a hand for my phone. “We need to hang out again.”

I was nervous about giving him a way to contact me. He reminded me of Tilly, though ten times more energetic, and she always found a way to get on my nerves (the box being one of many examples). Taehyung had yet to overstep the imaginary boundaries I had, but his complete lack of personal space etiquette was astounding. He touched me more in one day than any of my friends in an entire year. He seemed like the type of person to text every day and send a million pictures of himself doing random shit. Even with that in mind, I handed my phone over. He was too nice to say no to.

“Do you like sushi?” Taehyung asked, handing me my phone. “There’s a great place in Detroit we can go to.”

The idea of being trapped in a car with the snowboarder for 45 minutes was not appealing. I could only imagine how much he could talk when he was really excited about something. I would entertain the idea if Jungkook or Jimin came as a buffer, especially if one of them could sit up front. Taehyung yapping away in my ear would give me the biggest migraine I had ever had, and my anxiety over not being entirely focused on the road would make me snippy and rude.

“Only if I can come,” Jungkook piped up. “You’re not going to Bash without me, dude.”

“Well yeah,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Y/N has to meet Milo and Darcy,” He looked at me, grinning happily. “I think you would really get along.”

I had no idea who either of those people were, but I did not want to ask any questions. Jimin was inching back towards me and telling the others goodbye, and I did not want to hold him up. Taehyung started making plans that I did not pay any attention to. He could always text me when he figured out what he wanted.

“We have to get going,” Jimin was back beside me. “Y/N’s car is sitting at the dealership. It was good seeing everyone.”

I waved at the table and started walking away before Taehyung could touch me. He was definitely a hugger. Jimin was quick to catch up with me, giggling about my “escape.” It had started to snow again, gentle flurries twisting and turning in the wind, and I had forgotten my heavy jacket at home. The long sleeve I was wearing would do nothing to keep me warm.

“Here,” Jimin taking off his jacket. “You need this more than me.”

Draping it over my shoulders, Jimin told me to zip it up. Stunned, I moved on autopilot and shoved my arms through the sleeves. Everything smelled like him, oranges and spice, and his warmth was still clinging to the thick fleece. I could not remember the last time someone had given me their jacket. Dazed, I followed Jimin out to the parking lot, eyes locked on his back. He was in nothing but a thin, black and white striped shirt.

“Thanks,” I said once we were both in the truck, already shrugging out of the light beige jacket. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He held up a hand, “Keep it. The heater is out.”

I shook my head, “What about you?”

He reached into the back and held up a purple hoodie.

“I’ll be alright.”

I put the jacket back on and buckled in. Jimin slipped into the sweatshirt and started the truck. After buckling up, he backed out of the parking lot. I caught sight of the brunette as we left. She was red faced, shouting into her phone. I looked away. Whoever she was angry with was definitely getting an earful.

“Wonder what Tom did this time,” Jimin mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Tom’s Annie’s boyfriend,” He supplied. “They’re always arguing. Worse than Jungkook and Darcy, they break up every other week, but Tom and Annie are at each other's throats every other day.”

I grimaced, “Sounds like my friends. They finally called it quits last year, but they were insufferable.”

Jimin chuckled, “So, what’s Colorado like?”

I talked to him about Andrea and Seokjin first, how we met and how much I loved their daughter. Hoseok and I’s friendship got quite a few laughs out of him, but those quickly died off when I brought up Namjoon. I told him about the day we met and the coffee date that happened a few days later, and that seemed to brighten up the mood again. Namjoon stories were bittersweet but took up such a large chunk of my life it was impossible to gloss over.

“When’s the toxic couple coming up?” He joked.

“I’m getting there,” I replied.

Hoseok and Matilda had known one another longer than the rest of us. Growing up together, no one was surprised when they finally hooked up in high school. It was, however, short lived bliss. Matilda got caught up in the wrong crowd and began doing drugs. Hoseok had tried to help her get through it, but they could never see eye-to-eye. That started their toxic cycle of getting back together, Tilly going to rehab, her relapsing, and them falling out again. It was not until she went two years ago that it managed to stick, but their relationship was too tumultuous to make it very far. They decided to stay friends and she became a constant member in our group.

“That’s crazy,” Jimin shook his head. “Happy she’s doing better now.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the drive was spent talking about Colorado and how beautiful it was. He stayed away from swimming, mostly wanting to hear about the school I worked at and the places I went to in my free time. He kept me talking for the entire 45-minute car ride, question after question keeping me on my toes. He did not like talking about himself, whenever I tried to switch the conversation to his own interests he barely responded before going back to his interrogation. Before I knew it, we were pulled into the dealership and getting down.

“You can leave,” I told him.

“I want to make sure you’re good before I go,” He replied.

The cashier was lovely, her voice bubbly and sweet as she helped me out. Jimin lingered longer than he needed to, helping me fill out my paperwork and making small talk with the dealer. I took my keys and went for a quick test drive before I was finally able to convince Jimin to leave.

The drive back was quiet. I was used to the silence when I drove, but Jimin’s voice had been soothing. Frankly, I was a bit bored without him around. I decided to call Matila and ask about my medals. She apologized but I doubted how sincere she actually was. After catching up with her, hearing all about the guy she went on a date with, and a five-minute rant about Hoseok spending way too much money on Minho’s birthday present, I hung up before she could give me a migraine. As much as I liked Tilly, she was someone I had very little patience for and her voice, high pitched and loud, was like nails on a chalkboard.

I got back in town a little after 3. Violet and Calvin were both home and watching some black and white Western. Calvin offered to make me lunch, but I was quick to decline. I just wanted some space.

As soon as I got in my apartment, I curled up in bed to take a nap. I was overwhelmed after talking so much and desperately needed to recharge. I set an alarm for 5 so I could make it over to the Park house in time for dinner. Quickly sending a quick text to Hoseok, I turned on thunderstorm sounds and closed my eyes.

Na-Yeon and James were both excited to see me, talking about their days and asking how I was settling in. Eloise was there as well, the twins in the back room playing again. Jimin was going to be late. He had gone for a last-minute swim with Milo. When I asked them who that was, it was Eloise who answered.

“That’s Vincent’s fiancé.”

“Who?” I was even more confused.

“Taehyung,” Na-Yeon answered. “You know he hates that name as much as Jimin hates his, Lou."

Eloise blushed, her entire face turning a bright shade of red.

“Sorry,” She scratched behind her ear. Looking back at me, she sighed, “We went to school together. Old habit.”

Now V made sense. It never occurred to me that Jungkook and Taehyung could have their own American names, and neither one introduced themselves that way either. James came to take the seat beside mine, the dining table more crowded then was reasonably necessary.

“Does Jungkook have a second name?” I asked.

“Ian,” Eloise replied. “He goes by both, so I don’t think he cares as much as Tae and Jimin. I know his girlfriend uses both.”

I assumed that was Darcy. Why else would Taehyung assume she would go with us on a day trip to Detroit?

“They call him Ian on the team, too,” James chimed in. “His name is too hard.”

Namjoon never had an American name, at least, not one I had ever heard. The only person I could think of was Hoseok. A lot of his friends called him Jay, something about an old nickname from school, but that was it. Seokjin just went by Jin, Namjoon went by Joon, and Minho went by…well, Minho. None of their parents used American-Friendly names, and Seokjin’s father’s English was still poor even after living here for so long.

“Y/N,” Na-Yeon brought me back to the conversation. “What banchan do you like?”

“My eomeo-nim made these delicious, braised potatoes,” I answered, thinking back on our dinners together. “Kimchi, of course. My ex made the best braised lotus roots. They were always yummy.”

Na-Yeon seemed pleased by my answer. James and Eloise started rambling about their own favorites. Unlike Namjoon, Mr.Park was a big fan of seafood. He grew up in Busan near the Jagalchi Market, which, according to him, was the largest seafood market in South Korea. Eloise talked a little about her favorite Korean dishes before jumping into what she grew up eating. Her father was Scottish and her mother French, so one night she was eating Scottish Pie and daube niçoise the next. It was fun hearing more about Eloise. I would have never guessed she was a first generation American.

“It’s something Tony and I had in common,” She added. “He learned quite a bit of French before he died. Unfortunately, my Korean is taking much longer.”

“Mine isn’t that great either,” I admitted. “Namjoon’s family spoke English and never liked to make me feel awkward. I can follow a conversation fairly well, but only if you speak slowly.”

James laughed, “I will remember that.”

The front door opened, and I could hear loud talking. Eloise sighed. Whoever was with Jimin did not pass her inspection it would seem. She and James seemed to have a small conversation with their eyes. The men were still at the front of the house. Finally, Eloise looked away and scowled.

“Must have brought Milo and Tae over,” She muttered. “I’m going to go check on the twins.”

Eloise left the table. James told me to ignore her. She and Milo did not get along for whatever reason and she chose to ignore him. It was not my business, so I accepted that explanation.

I prepared myself for a bad interaction. So far, Eloise was such a quiet and sweet person I could not imagine anyone actively disliking her. Then again, this was Taehyung’s fiancé, and he was the nicest, most bubbly person I had ever met. It did not seem likely that he would hang around bad company. It could just be a case of personalities clashing.

“Annyeong,” Taehyung greeted us brightly, immediately finding me. “Babe, come say hi.”

A massive, pale man followed in behind him. Milo was a good-looking guy, bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, with a solid build. He reminded me of the male swimmers I worked with, his huge size and bulging muscles intimidating. His fashion sense was not as good as Taehyung’s. Ill-fitting black bottoms and a Rick and Morty t-shirt that made me want to roll my eyes. I was definitely biased, my loyalties already in Eloise’s corner. I did not need to know a backstory to be weary. The dude looked enough like Matthew Hamilton to make me dislike him just off principal.

“Milo, Y/N,” Taehyung introduced, gesturing between the two of us. Behind him, Jimin snuck into the kitchen and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. He looked nice in his gray tracksuit. “Y/N, this is my fiancé, Milo.”

I managed a disingenuous smile, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” He replied. His voice was smokey.

“Where’s Lou?” Jimin asked, coming around to greet his father.

“Checking on Harper and Cam,” James told him.

There was not enough room for all of us to sit at the table and I ended up giving up my seat to Na-Yeon. Jimin helped her set the table while I was put in charge of gathering Eloise and the kids. Walking down the hallway, I found the kids’ playroom and knocked.

“Dinner’s ready,” I announced, poking my head inside.

The room was bigger than I thought it would be. Each side was decorated in stereotypical boy and girl colors, Cameron’s bed and wall art a wide variety of blues and teals with dinosaur decals on the walls, while Harper’s was a mix up of baby pink and white. Her bed had more stuffed animals on it than I could count and all of them seem well loved. Their toys split the room in half, a large, circle rug in the middle of it all. Most of the toys were thrown on the floor and Eloise was telling them it was time for them to clean it up.

The children looked so cute in their little matching outfits. Harper’s black hair was braided down her back and the ribbon tied at the end of it matched her cream-colored overalls. Cam’s hair was on the longer side as well, falling to his shoulders with a slight wave. His bright red converse stuck out against the rather plain outfit he was wearing, and I had to assume he put up a fight behind them. Harper started to sing the Barney song as they cleaned.

“Feeling, okay?” I asked their mother. She was sitting in the chair on Harper’s side. “You ran off pretty quickly.”

She shook her head, “It’s nothing. We’ve never gotten along.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Do you want to eat here? I’ll sit with you.”

She smiled, “We can play nice, don’t worry. Thanks, though. I appreciate you asking.”

Dinner was as uneventful as Eloise said it would be. She and Milo greeted one another and then acted as if the other did not exist. I stood up to eat, Taehyung, Milo, and Jimin with me while the others sat down. Cam was excited to talk about school and Harper rambled on and on about her imaginary friend Butter Squash. They were both very sweet and it made me miss Dani. The last time I saw her was when we went skating the weekend before I left.

Taehyung was as talkative as ever. His touches also become bolder. By the time I left, he had an arm around my shoulders and his body pressed against my side. Milo was unbothered by our closeness. He and Jimin spoke the most and again the guy I knew when no one else was around seemingly vanished. This one was too put together, too closed off, and no one, and I mean no one, seemed to care. Every time he laughed half-heartedly or nodded along with whatever Milo was talking about, I felt more confused. Why was he so hot and cold all of the time?

During my drive back home, I tentatively attempted to listen to the radio. I only lasted around a minute or so before I switched it off. I needed silence. The Parks were such a lovely family, but tonight was too much. Between unpacking and Taehyung, I was drained. Hoseok had asked me to call him when I got home but I was going to wait. If it was important enough, he would call me himself.

I fell asleep as soon as my face hit the pillow, my medication making it a dreamless night.

The rest of the week was quiet. I called my friends back home to check in Thursday morning and was happy about Hoseok’s progress. The kids were really liking him, and he thought he may have a permanent job for next year if I decided to keep working with Jimin. I told him not to get his hopes up.

Jimin and I spoke through text daily. He was still going about his normal routine while I brainstormed training and scheduling. By Saturday I was ready to start testing out different ideas. We both seemed eager to get started, actually. Sunday, like I expected, was very quiet. That was his mom’s day, so I tried not to bother him. Violet and Calvin kept me company.

The Andersons were nice people. Violet was always coming to the back and inviting me to join them for breakfast, and her husband enjoyed asking me about my life. Calvin was far more personable than his wife was, but they managed to balance one another out. Sunday evening was the first time I noticed Calvin’s memory issues. He had no idea who I was. I came inside and Violet had to tell him I was their daughter Nancy’s babysitter. He was under the assumption that she was still 10. I left them alone when Violet asked me to pick her up from school. She came out back a few hours later to thank me for going along with everything, and I made sure that she had my phone number in case she needed me to help out if things got out of hand.

It was still dark outside when I left Monday morning. Jimin and I agreed to meet up at 6 am to start our day, but I wanted to get to the gym early. Time to set up and get myself in the right headspace was important to me.

The location he had sent me was more remote than I had originally anticipated. Jimin owned the little gym. It had been a swim school in the past and the place he had first learned he loved the water. He and his mom went to classes together when he was young. The place had been too expensive for the previous owners to keep up with and they were planning on selling it, but Jimin bought it off of them and converted it into a public gym/pool.

In our text exchanges he called it his retirement plan, but I was sure the place meant more to him than that. He had no interest in it until after the cancer diagnosis. If I was to over analyze it, I would say he was trying to hold onto a happy memory. This was their place before sickness and death ran through his family. I would imagine anyone would want to keep something that held so much sentimental value if they could.

Pulling into the parking lot, I was first struck by two things. One, it was open and there were people inside, and two, it was huge. Most of the building was nothing but windows giving me a great view of the muscled men inside. Bright fluorescent lights made my sensitive eyes hurt, and I could hear the faint sound of music coming from somewhere near the gym. The small group of men were together, all of them lifting and spotting each other while talking, and a sense of dread filled my belly.

I was always anxious when I went to a new place, but a new gym was a nightmare. I had bad experiences in the past. Overly friendly creeps who liked to stand around and watch me while I worked out. None of the guys inside gave off bad vibes, but I was still in my car and none of them laid their eyes on me. A woman in a gym was like a drop of blood in water. I had to hope they were not sharks.

Gathering courage, I grabbed my duffle and made my way inside. A pretty, dark-skinned, young woman was sitting at the receptionist desk, and I felt more at ease. If they left her alone then maybe they would not cause me too much trouble either. The music was louder inside, and I recognized the Ciara song. It was a great one for cardio. Fighting the urge to dance, I greeted the receptionist. She put down her magazine and gave me an award-winning grin. She had a nice, dimpled smile.

“Hi there,” She had a thick, Southern accent and I could not tell you where she might be from. I was awful at telling them apart. “Do you have your membership card?”

I laughed nervously, my grip on my bag tightening. “No. I’m here to train with Jimin Park. He said I should have something on file.”

She nodded, her smile unwavering as she looked at her computer and asked for my name.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” I replied, foot tapping along to the Lil Wayne song that came on. I had this one on my own workout playlist back in 2008. I could not help mumbling the words under my breath, “She-she-she lick me like a lollipop.”

“Found you,” The girl grabbed a few sheets of paper from a pile on her side of the desk. “Just fill these out for me and we’ll get your card printed. Your fees have been paid already so no need to worry about that.”

I nodded, half listening. This song was great. Why has it been so long since I last heard it? I went to the gym all the time. I needed to put it back on my playlist. Honestly, the entire Carter III needed to find its way back into my rotation.

“My name’s Giselle if you need anything,” The receptionist pointed to a cluster of chairs right at the front entrance. “You’re super early so Christian isn’t here yet, but I’ll give you the key to the pool room so you can do whatever you need before the boss gets in.”

I smiled at her, “Thank you, Giselle.”

“Anytime, ma’am.”

It took me a few minutes to fill the paperwork out and scan my ID, but Giselle made everything as quick as she could. One of the men working out had come by to ask for some wipes to clean off a few of the machines but left without anything more than a ‘good morning’ thrown in my direction. When we passed by the rest of them on the way to the pool house, we were completely ignored, so it was safe for me to say that they would not be a problem for me in the future. Creeps were never subtle about their creepiness.

“I have to double check with Christian, but I think I’m supposed to give you a spare key,” Giselle said, unlocking the pool. “I’m just going to be sure before I promise you anything. Don’t want to get fired.”

I could tell she was joking. Jimin did not strike me as the type of guy to fire anyone over something like that. It only made sense for me to have a spare key since we would be coming around so much, and I would feel bad about disrupting the staff whenever I needed to get inside. They did not get paid enough to deal with that on top of all of the rest of their duties.

“We keep it locked until 9,” Giselle continued, leading the way inside. “Then we close it back up at 5. Maintenance comes in every Tuesday to treat the water, so you’ll have to be out of here no later than 7. Boss man knows this already so you shouldn’t have any problems with that.”

The pool room was very bland and bare bones. The smell of chlorine hung heavily in the air while the lights around the pool walls illuminated the dark room. It was very big, and I itched to go for a quick dip. The coolness of the water would be nice against my skin. I had grown hot with nerves and gotten a little sweaty.

“We have a few other staff members that will be in around the same time the boss man comes in,” Giselle continued to give me the rundown. “I’m sure he’ll introduce you to everyone just in case you need anything. I’d say make nice with Yoongi first. He’s our in-house massage therapist.”

Pointing to a door on the far-left wall, Giselle let me know that was the pool locker room and the door right next to it was a shortcut to the back offices. Management, marketing, and facility supervisors were usually all back there and I would more than likely never see them. They were not the most social people and worked from home a lot. I could tell by Giselle’s voice that she did not particularly care for management.

“Drew should be here by now,” She checked her smart watch. “She’s the general manager. I’m going to go and grab her and see about that key. She might come back to say ‘hi’ but don’t hold your breath.”

I chuckled, “That bad?”

Giselle rolled her eyes, “Drew’s fine, but Dominic is usually following her around everywhere and he’s annoying. You’ll get what I mean if you ever see them together.”

I laughed, “I’ve had my fair share of weirdos. Thanks again. I appreciate you showing me around.”

She beamed, “It wasn’t a problem. You gave me a reason to get up from the desk, so I’d say it’s a win.”

We spoke for a few more minutes until a very large, bulky man popped his head in looking for her. His black t-shirt clung to him tightly and his shorts were a hideous neon pink color. He did have a nice smile, one that took up most of his face and teeth so white they looked fake. Giselle introduced me very quickly, and the man, Sam, turned out to be one of the personal trainers on staff.

“You’re the Olympian, right?” Sam asked. Jimin must really like people who talked a lot, because I had never met more outgoing people in my life before moving here. Everyone he surrounded himself with was just full of energy, and I wondered if it was purposeful. Jimin himself was a rather quiet and sad person. “Jimin talks about you all the time.”

I laughed awkwardly, face heating, “That’s me.”

“Sick,” Suddenly an image of Sam surfing in California flashed through my mind. He just seemed like the type. “Well, I have to go and help out a client, but it was nice meeting you. Gigi, can you go back up front before Drew pitches a fit?”

Giselle sighed heavily, “Tell her I’m coming,” Looking at me she asked if I was okay on my own. “Come and get me if you need anything, okay?”

After assuring her that I was fine, Giselle left behind Sam. The two of them bickered like an old married couple, and I wondered about their relationship. He did call her a little nickname. I shook my head. Regardless, I had other things I needed to take care of before I could get lost in thought about two strangers.

Unpacking my duffle, I threw on my whistle and stopwatch before getting to work on my schedule. I had brought a lot of my personal swimming gear with me like training bands, coach communicator, and forearm fulcrum. Back in the day, I was the brand ambassador for Finis, so I had a lot of their products. The tracksuit I was wearing was from Speedo, and I had so much of their stuff for the same reason. Being a famous swimmer had its perks.

I had planned on doing a lot of drill and some short-burst efforts with Jimin. He had been without a PT for a few weeks now, and while I trusted him to stay in shape, it was no secret someone would be performing less on their own than with guidance. I did not want to over work him when he was, for all intents and purposes, been on a vacation. So, while I wanted to rush head-first into training, I would try to ease into things a bit before going full asshole on the kid. Like Victor would say, “Three times a week for three weeks.” After that, he was going to be at my mercy.

It was just past 6 when Jimin walked into the pool room. I was flipping through my training plan for the day and humming along to the music blasting through the speakers, echoing off the walls. Whoever was in charge of the playlist had a thing for the early 2000s.

“Morning,” His soft voice brought a smile to my face. He sounded tired. “What do you think about the place?”

Stealing a look at him, I had to hold back the gasp that I wanted to let out. He was wearing a black tank top and shorts giving me a great look at his skin. Embarrassed by my reaction, I internally scolded myself. I needed to get over this crush already. I was about to see a lot more of his body once he went to the back to change. I bit my lip. I had no idea how I was going to deal with him in a speedo.

“It’s very nice,” I was happy with how nonchalant I sounded. “Wasn’t expecting it to be so big.”

I wonder what else is big… I nibbled on the inside of my cheek. I really needed to get my mind out of the gutter. Scratch that- I should have dealt with this problem the second I realized it was there. I was going to force myself to call Hoseok today. He would know what to do, and if not, at least I could vent a little.

“Sleep okay?”

I jumped out of my ever-degrading thoughts.

“Yeah,” I sniffed. “Had fun with your mom? I wanted to give you two some space, so I stayed to myself.”

He smiled and I melted. Yeah, this needed to stop. I was too grown to be acting like this around a man.

“I appreciate it. We missed you at dinner, though. My dad kept complaining that things were quiet now.”

I chuckled, “Eloise and the kids not loud enough?”

He shook his head, “She didn’t come over.”

He tossed his sports bag next to mine and pulled out his swim gear. I caught a flash of his speedo and quickly looked away. The visuals going through my mind were distracting enough.

“Do you want to go over everything before I get changed?” Asked Jimin.

I shook my head, “No, go ahead. It’s going to be a chill day.”

“You got it, coach.”

I did not breathe until I heard the locker room door slam shut. Tossing my clipboard onto my bag, I roughly rubbed my face. I needed to pull myself together.

My attraction was easy to ignore and forget about when he was not in my face, but the second I got my eyes on him it was all I could focus on. I was awkward and fumbling all over the place whenever he was around. I focused on him far too much, far more than I should be due to our relationship, and it was driving me insane. I needed to take a breather, but I did not have enough time and I did not want to make him worried. Jimin seemed like the type of person who would become consumed by anxiety if he thought I was upset with him in any way. No, I would have to suck it up and get through this training session like an adult.

The locker room door opened. Jimin’s bare feet were loud against the gray, stone floor. I refused to look at him. I wasn’t ready yet. Bending over, I grabbed the clipboard and cleared my throat. I was hoping to get him in the water first, and then I could safely conduct myself in a professional way. The less skin I had to see at a time the better. I pointed at the pool.

“Like I said, it’s going to be an easy day,” He was walking away from me, and I felt the tightness in my chest lighten. “You’ve been without a trainer for a bit, and I’m not sure how intense your workouts have been since. Your warmup is just 10 minutes of easy swimming, and then we’ll go over our main set.”

I heard him get into the water with a splash and relaxed. I could handle him in the water. No one looked good with those stupid goggles on. I walked to the edge of the pool, clipboard in my hand, and stole a quick look.

As suspected, he did not look as potent like this. His hair was hidden beneath a red and white cap, and blue goggles obstructed most of his face. It was impossible to make out most of his body as he glided through the water, but I got a great look at his arms. He was more muscular than I gave him credit for. He was smaller and more lean than other swimmers, but I could see why he was able to dominate.

He was very fast, but I could already tell he was pushing harder than I wanted him to. Blowing my whistle, I let him know I only wanted him swimming at 80% effort. Jimin pulled a face and lifted his goggles up. Now that he was stagnant, I got a clear look at his chest and swallowed thickly. He needed to start moving or else I might have a heart attack.

“Why?” He was incredulous.

“Like I said, I don’t want you to overwork yourself. You’ve been on a vacation for four weeks now and we need to work our way back up to more intensive sets. It’ll only be for a couple of weeks.”

He pushed back again, “I’ve been coming here every day for hours. I think I’m fine.”

I shook my head, “I’m not trying to be a dick, and I’m not calling you a liar, but I am skeptical of the quality of the training.”

“But-”

“I haven’t been here to see your routine,” I cut him off before whatever smart ass comment he was planning to say could even come out. Jimin’s annoyance was plain as day, and I was not about to put up with a tantrum. “I’m known for being a hard ass, and I’m going to push you harder than you’ve ever been pushed before. You can ask Coach Bunch about me if you want. I will make sure you’re in the best shape of your life this year, but not at the expense of getting you injured.”

He took a deep breath before responding, “With all due respect, I’ve been putting in a lot of work by myself. I don’t think I need kid gloves.”

I smirked, cocking my head to the side. “Is that what you think this is?”

“Isn’t it?” He shrugged, pouting.

He was cute when he was mad.

“Humor me,” I replied. “We do things my way for the week and if I think you’re good to go by Friday then we’ll get back to normal training. How does that sound?”

Jimin thought for a moment before smiling at me.

“I can live with that.”

I chuckled, “Good to know. Now, put your goggles back on and finish your warmup. We’re wasting time arguing.”

As I suspected, once we started our drills, he did not perform up to the standards I had for him. Even at 75% what he was capable of, I could already see the areas he needed to work on. His butterflies were beautiful, but I could pick apart his breast and back strokes. I was happy with his free swim at the end, and I was going to start there the next session. I was hoping by starting off with compliments that we could become more comfortable with one another before I had to get serious. Those breast strokes would drive me insane until he could execute them perfectly every time.

“How am I doing?” Jimin asked during a cool down, doing a few laps before we started our drills again. “I know my breast strokes aren’t that great. I’ve always struggled with them.”

At least he was self-aware, I thought.

“We definitely have stuff to work on,” I replied. “Don’t worry too much about that right now. We can start talking about it more next week.”

He sighed, annoyed, and I laughed. He was very grumpy when it came to his swimming. Not wanting to upset him again, I decided to give him something.

“I would like to watch you swim a bit more and make a plan before giving you my opinion. My coach used to do that with me, and I found it helpful.”

We trained until eight-thirty, and I looked over my notes while Jimin cooled down. We did not talk as much as I would have liked, but it was probably for the best. His body was distracting, and I did not think I was doing a very good job at hiding my reactions to him. He did not seem to notice, or he was simply sparing my feelings, either way he was happy to keep relatively quiet. We only talked about training while he was in the water, and I was grateful he was maintaining his professionalism.

“When will we be back again?” Jimin asked, his last few minutes running down on the timer. “You said Wednesday, right?”

I nodded absentmindedly, in my own little world as I flipped through my notes. I had more than I thought I would have, all of them having to do with fixing his form and how we could go about it. New exercises, grueling training days, and a few new tools that I was not sure he had ever used before, would mold him into a swimmer I would glow with pride over. Park had always been a talented man, but I wanted to see if we could reach for something more. Something bigger and better than he could have imagined. I wanted to make Matthew fucking Hamilton look like the incompetent bastard I knew him to be.

“We’re done for the day,” I sighed, clicking the alarm off. “Do you want me to come for your night swim?”

Jimin ripped the goggles off, rubbing his eyes and already going to release his cap. I bit down on the inside of my mouth. He was so pretty and soft, and the way his muscles flexed as he swam to the edge of the pool made my stomach flutter. I looked away before he hoisted himself out of the water. I did not need that image floating around in my already depraved head.

“You can come if you want,” He replied casually. “I’m mostly hitting the gym when I’m here in the evenings. I only take a dip for thirty minutes and leave.”

I hummed, fighting the urge to look at his body. I focused instead on my breathing and writing down what he had just said. I did not want to forget that. It might be useful for me in the future. If we could exercise together, it would give me an opportunity to guide him through some of my favorite tricks to help with swimming.

“Will someone else be with you?”

“Probably Jungkook and Darcy. They’re my usual gym buddies when Milo is working.”

“Darcy’s his girlfriend, right?” I wanted to see if my hunch from the other night was right.

“Yeah. They’ve been going out for a couple of years now. She’s alright. Not as shy as you.”

I snorted, “You think I’m shy?”

Then I made a critical mistake. Looking over at Jimin, I nearly choked on my own spit. His skin was perfectly smooth, not a blemish in sight, and cream-colored. His body was just as pretty as his face, smooth abs and a tiny waist that led to toned and thick thighs. The tiny scrap of red fabric covering his private area did not stop my eyes from glancing. I looked away before I started to stare.

Hoseok was going to have a field day with this.

“I know you are,” He teased, his voice so soft and sweet. I briefly wondered what he would sound like in bed. I fought desperately to rid myself of that imagery. This could not be happening right now. “You’re so shy you can’t even look at me right now.”

His cocky attitude should have annoyed me, but instead it only further fueled my lust. Every time I had seen this man, he gave me such tonal whiplash it was beginning to drive me insane. First it was this innocent little angel facade that quickly became sarcastic and witty when he decided he could play around without me getting angry. Then it was the whole sad puppy thing he had going on for the last week. Now here he was, practically naked and getting riled up over me telling him what to do, and puffing his chest with confidence I never thought he was capable of. It would have pissed me off if I did not find him ridiculously attractive.

“Go get dressed, Park,” My voice was clipped and too harsh. I winced and quickly worked to soften the blow. Getting defensive only made me look worse. “We can get breakfast if you’re not busy. My treat.”

“Sure, coach.”

When I heard the locker room close, I let out a deep sigh. My sexual frustration was getting in the way of my work, and I hated it. Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I sent Hoseok a text.

Me: I think I’m crushing on Park

Me: Help me get rid of it

The reply did not come until I was done packing up my things. The workout stuff I had brought with me had been useless today, but I was afraid of forgetting where they were the next time I might need them, so they never left the bag. My phone vibrated just as I was done zipping up my bag. I could hear the shower in the locker room and clenched my thighs together. I was still thinking of how pretty his belly was, the tattoo on his ribs pitch-black against his pale skin, and how solid his calves looked. I unlocked my phone and nearly cried laughing when I saw the response.

Hobi: HAHAHAHA

Hobi: Sex is always the answer

Hobi: Never thought I’d see the day you became a cougar

I have no idea why I thought he would be any help. So, I licked my wounds and messaged Andy (like I should have done in the first place) and knew whatever she had to say would be far more helpful than my stupid best friend’s word of “advice.” I just had to hope it would be enough to make all of these feelings stop.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga

© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[pompadourpink]

hi mom! i'm starting uni in september, i'm moving to a new city so i need to start shopping and all, but also my parents didnt really give me advice and im the eldest so im kinda lost, do you have any advice?? XX

Hello darling,

The ABC:

Uni is scary because your free-will goes from 8 to 90 in two months and freedom is intoxicating. Making up for lost chances can lead to bad choices (spending, dating, partying).

If your family failed to parent you, it is now your job. Autonomy is essential. Learn to cook, budget, clean, be clean, save, be a good citizen, make scary phone calls, keep yourself safe, prioritise.

No one will force you to get up and study, or hire you at 21 when competing with a bright 18 year old. Effort will not betray you (being a grown lazy gifted child will).

Have shared hobbies, from movie Sundays with a girlfriend to knitting with your sister. A social life is a happy life.

Trust your body, it knows. Stomach cramps mean we hate him, daydreaming means try, yawning means bed, not coffee.

The home:

Make a cleaning schedule, be open-minded and reasonable, do not do or say anything your landlord wouldn't like (I fully recommend having roommates once for exposure therapy).

If you have a neighbour your age, introduce yourself. Having that phone number will one day mean not having to sleep outside or getting a package stolen. Thank them with food.

Start documenting problems right away (photos, timestamps, screenshots, testimonies) as you may need to take action later. No emotions, you're just "worried about everyone's wellbeing".

Mould, vermine and leaks are enemies. Act yesterday.

Avoid big purchases. You don't know what the future (location, size, taste) looks like. Go secondhand, neutral, practical.

Avoid silly purchases: streaming, takeout, drinks, fast fashion. You will not regret having a downpayment saved in ten years.

If you ever need to do emergency laundry, put a bin or a bucket in the shower, add water and detergent (+ soda crystal for stains or whitening), wait an hour, rinse, wring, hang.

The shopping:

My grandmother has kept her house clean with a broom, bucket, squeegee broom wrapped in a floorcloth and Marseille soap since the 60s. When something doesn't work, look back.

Must-haves: cleaning (see #1 + cloths, soda, lemons, white vinegar, steel wool), hygiene (scraper, net, shower head filtre, first aid), night (good pillow, plugs, mask) supplies, freezer if possible, water filtre, reusable period protection, winter clothes, long chargers, sunscreen, friend living at home who will lend you tools.

Must-not-haves: anything trendy, collections (even books), a pet - don't let Felix keep you back, sleep over and study in Paris!

Have an emergency kit (+ whatever you need) + a smaller version in the car/at the office (with cash).

Fresh fruit, starches, a few types of frozen vegetables, of cans of legumes, of fresh, canned and frozen protein, a treat, something fun once in a while to experiment + a (bi-)monthly outing.

A couple of formal outfits. Large black dress pants, white shirt, dark grey thin jumper, pencil skirt, blazer, large coat, trench coat, loafers, heels, tall boots. Never slouchy or skin tight, plain.

Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, thrift stores. Spend a few hours making a perfect home board on Pinterest instead of listening to TikTok and taking what Ikea gives you.

The social life:

Make one or two real friends and cherish them forever. Support each other, travel, buy a house together, idk.

Don't be afraid to be/do things alone. You shouldn't be afraid of what your head says when it's not distracted.

Don't miss out on huge opportunities for people. Some are around out of necessity and will ghost you after graduation.

Do not try to impress, especially people you don't like and who don't like you. Do not do or say anything cops wouldn't like. Be a homebody who doesn't drink if that's what you want.

Do not try to educate those who will not learn.

Do not befriend someone who lacks confidence as they will make you pay for their jealousy, nor someone who wants a free therapist. Those relationships will be one-sided.

Befriend a couple of older girls. They will see through the lies of the people (men, classmates, employers) trying to fool you.

The love life:

The thirty-two year old man doesn't find you mature, he finds you inexperienced and malleable. Don't try meth thinking you're special enough to not get addicted.

If a date mocks you and you get mad, either that is who he is or he hates you. If you got mad, he is not for you. Your job is not to pretend you don't care so he can have a girlfriend.

Ask yourself if you would tell your best friend, mother, Taylor Swift, that he (hers) didn't mean it like that. If not, take a break from dating and think about why you think you don't deserve respect.

Don't forgive what you don't want to tolerate.

Don't try to force a relationship with someone who made it clear that he is, for whatever reason, not interested. You will be played like a fiddle until he meets someone he wants.

Don't try communicating with someone who is messing with you on purpose. No one ignores you for three days or sleeps with your friend or breaks your favourite necklace after an argument by accident. Also, your husband would never.

The daily life:

Have a clean e-mail address (firstname.lastname) for official biz and a casual one (f.lastna) for everything else, a solid password (Lanadelrey1984#) - change it yearly - and a list of the usernames and passwords you didn't pick.

If you don't trust your parents, block them off your account or open a new one when you turn 18 before they rob you.

Save a year worth of expenses, don't purchase what you couldn't buy twice now, don't replace what still works, give yourself week-long thinking periods before spending.

Get folders for your paperwork and keep them safe + take pictures for an encrypted Drive (beware of iCloud): diplomas, flat, car, big purchases, work, taxes, health, etc.

Print pics and make albums. One day, the app will die.

Mind your health. Exercise weekly (cardio/strength, ex: runs + weighted Pilates), walk, get more water, sleep, and fibre, take vitamin D, mind your eyes/ears/skin/teeth, stretch, leave.

Only invest energy, money, or time into what is worth it. FaceTime before the date. Get secondhand leather boots instead of replacing plastic. Drop the book after 100 bad pages.

Refuse conversations with people whose lives you wouldn't want, who happily overwork for a mediocre wage and don't know how old their children are. The handcuffs are homemade.

The job:

People will not forget how you made them feel and the world is a small place. Colleagues, clients, bosses will gossip: make sure it is for good reason. Dress and look clean, stand straight, be on time, never ever gossip, even when you were wronged.

Understand the power of sobriety. Be known for the success of your last project, not your bright skirts or temper.

Protect future you so you get the promotion/project/raise. No friends, no enemies. Smile, have neutral answers, make them talk, move on, make your IG private, google your name.

Lie. You don't avoid them, you eat lunch with your nana (hi Paula, no, I forgot about the hairdresser's), weren't unemployed, your father was ill, cannot go out, you have a birthday party.

Act boring with the jealous old woman or the obnoxious man. Take the fake compliment for a real one, don't understand the innuendo, have too much work to chat. Bullies get bored.

Instead of clapping back (see #3), be Cinderella, who ignores the insults and turns to Mr. No nonsense, who has been there twenty years, worryingly asking if Ethel is okay, I don't know what to do (no mention of ego, you're just distraught about her).

Sites to look up: Proton (mail, VPN, drive), Notion.

Love,

Mum

(PS - apologies if the she/he thing doesn't match you, this is a flexible plan for all of my children)

[ewesless]

Quick little thing! No, I was wrong. It became a Very Long Thing...

We know that Diavolo is operating at an entirely different frequency and level of energy from Barbatos and Lucifer and it isn't just because he's a touch starved extrovert with repressed introverts for parental figures friends.* But he might be 18-21.... As a person from the early 90's this is a traumatic realization. I thought he was an early 30s year old manchild to be quite honest.

*love your takes so so so freaking much RadArchives 😭

Utilizes canon compliant relationship dynamics and Diavolo's Lucifer complex. Luke is aged up to cope with fanservice not facilitate it.

I interpreted it as Diavolo was between 10-13 when Barbatos agreed to be his Butler. OM indicates it was 800 years before Barbatos quit feeling angry at Diavolo for the incident (he was teasing). 10,000 is equal to 10 years, so based off my estimate Diavolo would be 18-21. Unless it was 800 plus years then, since Barbatos had time to cool off which would be much more comfortable to me 😂

The canon chronological ages are vague in order for players to have freedom (dads and mom coded old as dirt option through to bratty youngest brother who seems like an angsty and rebellious teen) so just for reference these are the ages I use:

Solomon - 34 (right there in the middle of adulthood and an older brother age bracket with Diavolo. Asmo is robbing his own cradle!)

Simeon - 40 (peers with Lucifer and they are only a few months apart! Perfect adoptive/group dad age of being mature and comforting without being old-old 😭)

Luke - 16 (Again, comfort level. He's a bratty tween, but I can't tolerate the fanservice with him as a 10 year old at all. 16 is a nice middle ground between emotionally charged, discovering self and independence, "I'm grown!" and the complex realities of the world. Him developing THOSE FRUSTRATING AND CONFUSING NEW FEEEEEEELINNNNNNGS are tolerable as well.)

Barbatos - 42 (the answer to life and everything. I'd place him closer to 60 as a foxy and wicked classy grandma older woman gentleman, but he looks like a pretty, young 30-something so this fits the bill. This also goes into my headcanon that Father made him before the angels and long before humanity.)

Diavolo - 33 (an out of touch with the youth and his peers, but still a youthful soul + gap moe)

Belphie and Beel - 25 (still young enough to do underdeveloped maturity and be doted upon baby brothers, but grown enough that they aren't actually immature and know better they just haven't put the effort into developing impulse control and practicing good judgement)

Asmodeus - 27 (pretty and passes easily for 23 but can hook up with the MILFs and DILFs as well as the young 20s. He's young, but not afraid of becoming older, not just because he's beauty everlasting and that skincare routine is ✨️flawless✨️ but because he sees the beauty and attractiveness of maturity and himself)

Satan - 23 (Personal Favorite + Occultic Number! Even though he's as old as Lucifer I feel like he was born at the age that Lucifer was created for additional headcanon reasons.)

Leviathan - 31 (*scoff* "Look at this old loser with a failure to thrive and manchild tendencies" says an old loser with a failure to thrive and the same tendencies)

Mammon - 32 (okay, this would go on for more than a paragraph or few run on sentences 🤣)

Lucifer - THE BIG 40 (caught up between older than the others brother who had to grow up too fast and never got to be young / middle aged surrogate father figure of a house full of rebellious teenaged adopted kids that never got to have his experimental young adult phase...)

Thirteen is a sensitive, trendy young woman so we DON'T ASK THESE QUESTIONS 35 I like an age gap with my ladies~ Candy is 39 (because 4 is associated with death in Japanese and I have a 4 year age gap with my sister which was a perfect combination of generational difference + ability to rebel from the older sibling, angst about idolization and knowing you aren't the same, but aren't meant to be. There's the possibility of strife caused by disappointment(s)/fallen idol for Thirteen and for Candy the pressure of the expectations of parents as first born and the care, protectiveness and responsibility of older sibling for their younger sibling. They're able to rely on each other even though Thirteen is a wild woman antisocial ambivert with a strong personality and even stronger opinions whereas Candy seems like a serious and violently antisocial introvert who conforms and does what she's expected to in all areas of life. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL US WHAT CAUSED THE SCHISM BETWEEN THEM. WHAT HAPPENED WRITERS? WHAT HAPPENED?)

Mephistopheles - 31/35 (I like the idea of him having an age gap of 2 years with Diavolo either as a more mature junior to senior or a senpai who won't notice him because his eyes are set on a raven haired beauty with eyes like firy rubies that is also a heavily overworked deskworker with difficult teen boys and an involuntarily in a fatherly role for Diavolo too.)

Raphael - 39 (One year the junior of Lucifer and Simeon. Because he never rebelled I thought it had something to do with him being a degree separated from Sime and Lucy to Father, but still being close enough to him to be the devoted, but the most conflicted about it, son.)

Michael - 40 (Either he was created before Simeon and Lucifer or after them. He's got something seriously suspicious going on. I feel that it parallels Diavolo's, but instead of a hopeful vision for the future and further developing what his father started Michael's is in a self-serving manner and his personal agenda is founded on the self-perception that he knows better than his Father.)

[ladylooch]

Green Devil with Nico Hischier

A/N: I’m feeling a lil angsty Nico RN. Like I love fluff, but I wanted a little bit of sass from him. 

This is part of What My World Spins Around AU. Catch the rest on my masterlist here.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: Swearing, jealousy, lil angsty, hinting at smut cause it’s me.

Tonight, I’m living.

Someone bought my coffee in line at the drive thru this morning. Nico is home, and my best friend from high school, Connor, is in town for work. I’ve been dying for Nico and Connor to meet since we started dating, but the timing never seemed to work until Connor texted me last week that he had some time on his next trip. Once I saw Nico was in town, I jumped at the offer.

“I’m really excited for you to meet Connor!” I bubble to Nico as we walk down the sidewalk towards a trendy, Tapas bar.

“Me too.” Nico responds as he wraps an arm around my shoulder. I shiver, clutching his side to try and suck some of the warmth from his body. “Remember I need to leave by 9 though. If you want to stay later, that’s cool with me.” He grasps the handle of the door, opening it for me to walk in. He gives my ass a discreet slap as I go in front of him. I toss a suggestive look over my shoulder that he receives while biting his lip.

If I wasn’t so caught up in myself, I would have taken note of the immediate change in Nico when Connor and I rush to embrace each other. Connor wraps me in a tight hug that causes me to miss the irked expression on Nico’s face about how close his hands are to my ass.

“You look incredible.” Connor smiles widely, taking me in from head to toe. I pose for a second as a joke while he keeps his hands on my hips.

“Find a NHL captain and you too can be this happy.” I turn to Nico who has pasted a polite smile on his face that doesn’t quiet meet his eyes.  “Babe, this is Connor. Connor, Nico.”

“Hey man, nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Nico extends a hand. They shake firmly. Connor breaks first. 

“You too, man.” Connor juts his chin out in acknowledgment at Nico, then crosses his arms over his chest. “They’re just getting our table cleaned.”

“Oh, okay.” I nod. “So tell me all about Miami. I am dying to hear about your new condo.”

“Unreal views. You should come down next month. We can have a fun weekend together. Get wasted on expensive tequila like Cabo.”

“Oh my god, no.” I hide my face. 

“She legally cannot step foot in that resort again.” Connor says to Nico, snickering.

“Long story.” I shake my head, red tinging my cheeks. I’ve never told Nico about it because it’s still so cringy and embarrassing. Connor motions like he’s spewing vomiting. I slap his bicep to give him a warning. “Stop. Seriously.” 

Luckily, the host is ready to show us to our table. We spend the rest of the night chatting. Connor and I reminisce about our old high school friends we have lost touch with. We stalk their Facebook pages and Instagrams, laughing at how the more things change the more they stay the same in our hometown. Nico is quiet, but that’s normal with people he doesn’t know well. He seems to be content with fading into the background. At least I thought so.

“I think I’m going to head out.” Nico begins to put his jacket on as Connor and I look over the dessert drink menu. I turn to him, surprised. I check my Apple Watch, seeing it’s barely 8pm.

“Oh okay. Are you okay?” I ask, lowering my voice while I examining him for signs of distress. He seems fine. Maybe he’s just tired?

“Yep. Have a good night, baby.” He barely presses his lips to mine before he pulls away, leaving me with unsatisfied, puckered lips. He tells Connor it was great meeting him as he tosses a few hundred dollar bills on the table for the bill. When his body moves from beneath my fingers, I feel an uneasy chill from his absence. Something doesn’t feel right about this. Connor doesn’t notice and dives back into his persistence of me coming to visit him in Miami next month.

“Um…” I cut him off. “Sorry. I’ll be right back.” I say abruptly, grabbing my coat and purse before rushing to the front of the restaurant. The cold air blasts me, stealing my breath as I look to the left where Nico is about to turn into the parking lot.

“Nico.” I call after him, hustling to catch up with his long strides. “What is up with you?” I ask him breathlessly, reaching for his hand and pulling him to a stop. “And what was that kiss?” I wrinkle my nose in displeasure.

“I’m just tired. It’s been a long week.” His shoulders are rolled inwards as he talks to me, grimacing against the cold wind whipping down at us. I sigh, not liking the way he looks above my head.

“Neeks, you seem upset with me.”

“I’m not.” He shrugs, licking his lips and continuing to avoid eye contact. I cross my arms at his chilly attitude. A realization comes over me at the slight scowl on his face.

“Are you… jealous?” I ask with a small smile.

“No, just… have fun with your friend.” He scoffs, shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks away from me and down the street. I can see his jaw tense as he grits his teeth.

“Wow….” I trail off with a breezy laugh. I step closer, biting my bottom lip. “You look pretty green for red being your team’s color.” I set my hands on his hips, wrapping my arms around his back. I secure myself to him tightly, resting my chin on his chest so I’m looking up at his face. “Babe, look at me.” I soften my voice so he knows I’m done teasing. He licks his lips exasperatedly, then turns his sour, scrunched face to me. I raise my eyebrows, signaling I’m waiting.

“Fuck yeah I’m jealous.” He finally scoffs out. At least he wraps his hands around me, pushing me tighter to him.

“Why?” I can’t even begin to fathom why he feels that way. He’s the sweetest, handsomest, dreamiest man I have ever laid eyes on.  

“I feel like he knows you better than me. And I hate that.” I snort, leaning forward to press my forehead to his chest. Nico silently watches me when I pull back.

“Every one of those jokes and stories are from before you.” I pause, waiting for him to soften. When he doesn’t, I continue. “He knows nothing about me anymore. You’re my life now. Not high school football games and Applebee’s late night happy hour.”

“But Miami?” He rolls his eyes.

“I won’t go. It’s obviously bothering you, so it’s not worth it. You’re my priority.”

We stare at each other until Nico finally sighs, looking away at the busy street behind me. I get closer, onto my tip toes, then tenderly pressing my lips on his throat. People pass around us, the world continuing on as we hold each other. I work my mouth up to the nook of his shoulder and neck. I open my mouth a little more, sucking his skin into my mouth. His shoulders relax, head meeting mine as his hands grip my back tighter. I pull away just before I mark him, pressing my nose to the wet spot. I run my hand across his shoulder to the back of his neck and cradle his head. A heavy exhale from him ends our hug.

“Okay.”

“Will you come back with me?” 

“No, but you should stay. For real. Spend time with him… then come home to me.” His eyes darken with hunger as he brushes my hair behind my ear, holding my cheek. I watch as he closes his eyes, then leans down to capture our lips together. This is the kiss I needed from him earlier. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, running his tongue along the plumped skin. I’m intoxicated when we pull apart. I stare at the lapels of his jacket.

“Maybe… I wanna come home now.” He smirks at me as I pull my phone out and text Connor a quick lie. “I’m suddenly soooo sick.” Nico leans his head back to laugh towards the sky.

“Let’s go needy girl.”

[octuscle]

Chronivac Support - I'm an average guy, having a good job after my college time 10 years ago. My life is quite ok but if I see these influencers on social media getting a lot of money for doing nothing at all it's quite unfair. Is it possible to test such a life for some days?

You're 36 years old now, aren't you? Then let me turn back time ten years for you. You're 26 years old and apart from bumming your food in trendy restaurants and toning your body for free in the fitness rooms of luxury hotels, you've done nothing for the last few years.

Remember? It all started with this picture…

More like a snapshot. Signed "I'm waiting for the love of my life". It went viral back then. And from one day to the next you were a star on social media. It went a bit to your head. But who needs friends when you have a manager, a make-up artist and a photographer? All in one person, of course, we don't want to exaggerate.

Anyway, the Azores are on the agenda this week. Your posts make good money, you're supposed to give the image of the islands a makeover. That means hard work for you, of course. You have to invest one or two hours in the shootings. Fortunately, your intern takes care of the image editing and the texts. Cute guy. You can only hope that the fact that he accompanies you for free in your life of luxury is enough as hush money. Not everyone has to know that you don't wait for the woman of your life in the evening with a dreamy look in your eyes. Instead, you usually stick your ass up in the air to be fucked by some sugardaddy.

But that's not your problem now. It's a good thing you've been growing your surf mat for the last few months. Then make sure you get some good pictures from the waves right away.

Oh, and one more thing, Cinderella: The magic ends at the end of the month. Then, unfortunately, reality will catch up with you again. But until then, have fun!

[coimbrabertone]

Cautiously Optimistic - Liberty Media Buying MotoGP

So, Liberty Media, owners of Formula One, are officially trying to buy MotoGP. This has been rumored for the last few months, with Dorna Sports - the parent company of MotoGP and World Superbike - had spent the last few years making the kind of moves you'd make before a big sale. The launch of sprint races in MotoGP, appointing a new CCO in the form of Dan Rossomondo, and expanding the calendar with new races in new markets.

Nevertheless, there were always question marks over whether Liberty Media could own both MotoGP and Formula One, because precedent suggested they could not. As Simon Patterson reported for the Race, in 2006, CVC Capital Partners acquired Formula One and thus European regulators ordered them to sell off MotoGP. Thus, MotoGP was sold to another private equity firm, Bridgepoint. Bridgepoint would then acquire World Superbike in 2013, and evidently owning the two premier global motorcycle racing series didn't seem to bother any regulators at that point.

I can't help but combine that with a quote from Dan Rossomondo made at some point while being the Chief Commercial Officer of MotoGP. Rossomondo said, essentially, that MotoGP doesn't just compete with other racing series, it competes with going out for a walk, listening to music, and all the other things you could do on a Sunday instead of sitting down and watching a motorcycle race.

Was that more than just an innocuous quote? Maybe it's a hint of how Dorna and Liberty will make their case to various regulatory bodies to justify this merger.

Whether or not that's true, Liberty Media seems confident that they're going to pass regulatory approval. How exactly that'll happen remains to be seen - some have suggested that World Superbike will be sold off as a sort of sacrificial lamb to allow this to happen - but it now seems like MotoGP and F1 will very likely end up under the same ownership.

So...what does that mean for MotoGP?

Well, it means that the company that turned F1 into this trendy giant of a series is going to give some of that marketing love to MotoGP. That can only be a good thing - MotoGP is fantastic racing and it deserves more attention.

Will MotoGP see a move from historic venues to chase new markets? I would argue that it already has. Dorna has already been chasing emerging markets and a simple look at the calendar will show that - Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, India, etc, etc. Not only that, but that's arguably a necessary decision for MotoGP because, quite frankly, those are the countries that are buying motorcycles these days. 1000cc sport bikes? Not necessarily, but quite frankly, KTM doesn't even make a 1000cc sport bike, so MotoGP has become more of a showcase of the motorcycle industry rather than a marketing tool for a particular type of motorcycle.

Will this result in MotoGP chasing street circuits like F1 did? Well, Liberty Media has already said no, and as much as the word of giant corporations is worthless in 2024, simple safety concerns make it unfeasible. MotoGP needs a ton of space and big gravel traps to stop the bikes - and more importantly, the riders - in the kind of dramatic crashes that can happen in this sport.

What do I think will happen? Well, in the short term, not much, but come 2026, 2027 when circuit contracts start expiring, I suspect we'll lose a few existing venues - having four races in Spain presents an obvious opportunity for some trimming - and probably gain another race in the US (likely that Flatrock track in Tennessee) and if I had to guess, another one in East Asia, most likely China.

Maybe India will pave the way towards MotoGP reviving old, disused F1 tracks, and we could see the likes of South Korea and Istanbul Park added to the MotoGP calendar. If not MotoGP, then WSBK with a Turkish star in the form of Toprak Razgatlioglu really ought to consider it.

Anyway, the way I see it, the legitimate criticisms that F1 fans have with Liberty Media - being greedy, chasing new venues at the expense of historic ones, pushing the teams hard by constantly expanding the schedule - is all stuff that Dorna has already been doing. Even the complaints about the Drive to Survive drama, Dorna has tried two different DTS clones and neither one moved the needle. If you're going to be doing these things anyway, you might as well do them with the company that has at least been successful with it.

For now though, I have MotoGP coverage through Max and TruTV in the US, commercial free, and that's a dramatic improvement over how I had to watch the series last year. Dan Rossomondo's team has made MotoGP far more accessible and pleasant to watch already, and if that can continue under Liberty Media's ownership, then I hope this series that I've fallen in love with over the last year and a half can grow.

Thus, the overall verdict is...I'm cautiously optimistic.

[possibilistfanfiction]

fuck dude i spent the past two days reading the entirety of girls against god and catching up on we lived happily during the war and i s2g it’s the most i’ve cried in YEARS what the fuck bea’s trans niece?? it all must mean so much to bea?? what the FUCK oh my god i am so emotional i have so many feeling ily tysm for your service 🥹 (also BIG fan of footy au. big big fan. you are incredible) THANK YOU

[bea's niece! love her! here u go]

//

you’re thrilled that your parents have decided to spend a few days away in ojai at some winery aunt bea recommended, because as much as you love them, unlimited and mostly unsupervised time with your aunts is pretty much the best thing in the world.

they’d planned to take you to a cool, nice dinner at this trendy place asaad had seen on tiktok, which honestly sounded fun. plus, it’s mexican food, which is basically your favorite other than your nani’s lamb biryani. and it had seemed exciting and fun but then you had looked through your entire suitcase and didn’t love any of the tops you packed, and you want to do your makeup but you’re not that good at it yet, and usually your mama helps you, and —

you sniffle and take a calming breath, wipe the tears from under your eyes. it’s okay, you tell yourself. you can ask for help. your aunts love you, and your big brother loves you, and sometimes, of course, he teases you but not about this. never about this. if you felt bad enough you didn’t want to go out, no one would be mad at you.

you take another big breath and then put on one of aunt bea’s old t-shirts she’d accidentally left in london last year and then had laughed and told you to keep it. you walk down the stairs to your aunts’ bedroom. asaad and aunt bea are tending to the herb garden outside, and you’re not surprised to see aunt ava seemingly emptying a quarter of their closet onto their big bed. you linger in the doorway, your heart caught a little in your throat, but then aunt ava looks up and stills, then offers you a smile that always feels warm, and calm, and you don’t ever wonder why aunt bea fell in love with them.

‘what’s up, kiddo?’

you take a second to compose yourself because you really don’t want to cry; you’ve spent enough time around the both of them that you know aunt ava understands how to be patient and let you arrive at what you need to say in your own time. ‘my mama usually helps with my makeup.’

‘ah,’ aunt ava says, already excited. ‘what’s the vibe your feeling? also, what are you wearing? i can’t decide.’ she gestures to the bed with her cane. ‘as you can see.’

it gets you to laugh, a knot in your chest loosening. ‘um, maybe i can borrow one of your crops? my camo cargo pants, i think, and my new cdg converse.’

‘ooh,’ ava says, ‘love. and yes, of course you can borrow anything you want. i’m still mad you’re big enough they fit you, but i’ll forgive you. growing up is better than the alternative.’

you frown at that but aunt ava doesn’t seem bothered, or sad or upset.

‘hmm. morbid. my bad.’

‘you good?’

‘i’m awesome.’ she smiles and gestures for you to actually come into the room. her hair falls in easy waves past her shoulders, longer than when you’d last seen her for eid, and it’s easy to hug her tightly, to settle into her gentle embrace, to smell the detergent that reminds you of aunt bea, and aunt ava’s subtle light perfume, and the lavender lotion you get to use every time you’re here. you know he understands, in a different way than aunt bea but in a way that matters too, that flows like water and makes you feel like you’re lifting your face to the sun, what it feels like to be bigger than what the world expects of you and your body.

your parents are the best; they’d gotten you hormone blockers immediately when you asked, and your mama and auntie had taken you shopping for pretty bras in the fanciest shops in london last month, and your dad practices your drag routines with you after football practice.

but still: people who feel it, people who know — your family, in the deepest way. you pray five times a day, in thanks, usually. blessings, you know, even now.

‘the vibe is, like, i don’t know. subtle but glitter?’

aunt ava squeezes you. ‘incredible. i’m obsessed already. maybe a glitter eyeliner?’

you relax: aunt ava loves you.

‘do you have your makeup here? i have, like, enough fun shit — uh, stuff — to cover us for any look you want, but obviously not foundation or concealer for you. but if you don’t have any, we can send your aunt and brother.’ she laughs. ‘asaad can be your skin tone match.’

'i have some makeup.' you let yourself take a deep breath, because aunt ava is happy; she wants to do makeup with you, and let you borrow clothes, and go out to a cool restaurant. it's not a duty, or because you're family — when your aunts get to help you be yourself, it makes them happy. 'but it's mostly boring.'

'the basics are very important, though.' she smiles. 'well, go grab any of yours that you want to use, then come meet me back down here. you can look through mine and use any you want. and i'm the prettiest person i know, so i can help.'

'number one?'

'way too like beatrice,' she says, 'mean. for no reason! but i'll humor you.' ava bites their bottom lip in contemplation. 'well, i met janelle monae last year. and shangela comes into my bar often.'

'you live a wild life,' you say, and aunt ava laughs. 'so, third?'

'yeah,' she confirms. 'well, fourth, maybe.'

'who's third on the list, then?'

'you, of course.'

it makes you blush, but you turn quickly so aunt ava can't really see. you know she knows, but, like, it's fine. whatever. maybe she's the prettiest person you've ever seen and she's kind and funny and smart and owns her own bar, but she's also your aunt, who you've watched throw up in a bush after she drank too much champagne at brunch one time, and she always falls asleep on aunt bea's shoulder when you go to a movie. there's no reason to be embarrassed, and there's also no reason, you remind yourself, to not want to feel pretty.

you get your setting spray and foundation and concealer and their respective brushes, and then aunt ava shows you through a lot of makeup. you don't think you'll ever want to own this much makeup in your entire life, and it's kind of funny because aunt ava doesn't really wear much most days, but she just — she loves it. she loves sharing with you, and explaining why she got stuff that doesn't really make sense, and eventually you pick out a gold eyeliner to use. aunt ava makes sure not to cover your freckles completely when she helps with your foundation, and then, when you try to do the eyeliner yourself and mess it up, she hands you a makeup wipe without any judgement or impatience.

you finish with some mascara, and you sit and talk and listen to music in the background while aunt ava does her own makeup. she lets you pick out any crop you want, and she decides, after a fair amount of deliberation, on a sundress that you know is aunt bea's favorite on her. gay, you think, and then say aloud because you're sure aunt ava will appreciate it. and she does: she laughs, and aunt bea kisses her after she knocks on the doorframe and then smiles softly when she sees the two of you.

'you both look amazing,' she says. 'asaad has already freshened up, so i just need to change, and then we can go. i'm confident it we leave in ten minutes, we'll make our reservation time.'

'what if we left in twelve minutes?' aunt ava asks.

aunt bea just ignores her and walks to their closet and lightly closes the door, which seems to delight aunt ava. she snorts.

'love her.'

'you guys are weird.'

'just wait until you have a partner or partners. if you're doing it right, which i'm sure you eventually will, because you're the best, it's all just the best kind of weird.'

they're right, you know. you get to be surrounded by all kinds of love and you've always gotten to see it every day. but still, when aunt bea walks out in tailored slacks and loafers and a loose linen button up with intricate stitching, a little mascara on her face, her hair with a few strands of silver in it now, less than your dad's but mostly the same — you can breathe in another way. you have the careful way your mama helps you wash your hair every week when you told her you wanted to grow it out, and how she always takes you with her to get your threading done together; you have your dad's genuine joy whenever he takes you to women's football matches, and the way he cries at shows with queer storylines that end happily; you have your brother and the way he always, always, makes sure his group of friends never misgenders you — ever since you came out, none of them have treated you any differently at all; you have aunt ava, whose identities are as big and open and exuberant as she is.

and you have your aunt beatrice, you smiles sincerely and, of course, notices your eyeliner. she taught you how to shave your legs when you were too nervous to ask your mama, for whatever reason that seemed confusing at the time in your head. she plays tennis with you and she's never mean but she also never lets you win; if you ever beat her one day, it will be on your own merit. you're pretty sure she could literally kill someone twice her size with one hand, but she has never been anything but gentle toward you, your entire life.

she tucks a pair of sunglasses in the V of her shirt and puts on one of her fancy watches with a thick band. she smiles at you. 'ready to go?'

'mhm. i'm hungry.'

she kisses aunt ava's temple and then puts a gentle hand to the small of your back, ushers you out of their room and to the foyer where asaad is waiting on the couch. it's still warm and sunny and gorgeous. aunt bea makes sure the front door is locked and then takes one last look in the mirror. this smile is all for herself, one you've had so many times, one that, on her, lights you up from the inside. she fluffs her hair and then nods, and you get it, unspoken: she must like who she sees looking back at her.

when she sits on your bed later that night, after you've all eaten more than your fair share and aunt ava had done a lot of moaning over some shishito peppers, after she'd driven everyone home and you had all changed into pajamas and watched half of a movie while she and aunt ava had a glass of wine — you curl into her hip and put your head on her lap.

you want to thank her — for being who she is, for being part of your family, for loving you — and everyone she cares for — in this quiet, stoic, unrelentingly gentle way. but you're sleepy, and you don't want to cry. she runs a gentle hand up and down your spine.

'did you have a good day?'

'yeah, aunt bea.' you think of the beach and aunt ava's laugh and your brother's gentle insistence that he hold every door open for the three of you; how good the food was and how you'd seen bella ramsey at a table and asaad had blushed so hard you had laughed. you think of the quiet way aunt bea had gotten aunt ava her medications in the morning at breakfast, a kiss to the top of her head. a long, long life together. a home, with you included, in any way you want. 'i had the best day.'

[haldenlith]

Binary Stars Ch 2

Still in prison with Uldwyn. I feel like this chapter is a little slower.

The appointment came, and he was escorted along by the usual sight: two armed guards geared up well enough that most people would think twice about attempting any funny business. Then again, he’d be the first to say he wasn’t “most people”, but that was beside the point. He had no reason to try anything. What would he gain but a few broken bones? And the promise of escape wasn’t even alluring.

There was nothing out there for him.

He sat down in the barber’s chair. Upon noticing the exact same jumpsuit as he was clad in on the barber, his muscles tensed. The FB wasn’t a particularly big guy. The red paint on his plating had worn down on the edges, revealing the gunmetal base underneath. He was busy prepping the tools of the trade, pausing to regard Uldwyn’s reflection in the unnervingly immaculate mirror. “Relax. Unlike those other idiots, I’m not interested in stabbing the biggest baddest dog in the kennel.” He held up a straight razor, inspecting it. The bright, harsh lights glinted off the well-honed edge of the blade. “Nor do I know anyone that fell victim to your regime. So quite honestly, I don’t care. I get more out of cutting your hair as opposed to your throat.” He turned to face Uldwyn. “Now, if I recall correctly from the magazine covers, you used to have quite the trendy haircut, so I imagine what I’m tending to is that shag rug on your face.” Uldwyn nodded. “Good. That’s easy.”

Uldwyn settled more into the chair, letting the red FB put a cover on him to catch the hair, and do the necessary prep. The shaving cream was a little warm, and smelled faintly of lavender. Clearly he was on some sort of work-release program, and was content with it. His hands were practiced, and the blade glided along Uldwyn’s olive-toned skin. The man worked in silence (utter silence, given that he no longer breathed), and Uldwyn quite simply had nothing to say. It was just… easier. Uldwyn had no memories of visiting a barbershop back on Pluto, so this was a slightly new experience for him. His face was something he always tended to himself, and his old haircut was easy enough to self-manage with a good pair of clippers and some scissors. Having the ability to see behind himself certainly helped.

What he could remember, vaguely, was Mara scolding him for preening too long in front of the mirror. Not that she was much better.

When it was all said and done, Uldwyn looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was… strange. It was his face. His eyes. Even though his hair was shorter than he was accustomed to, it was still well on its way to returning to the old length. It already half covered his ears. That was his reflection, wrinkles and all. Still… part of him felt… foreign. Fragmented. He didn’t feel like himself, and there was a sliver of him that almost questioned the reflection being him.

Seeing himself in the mirror at least informed him of one thing – judging from his hair growth, he’d been there at least a month. Maybe two.

He returned to his cell with his hair still somewhat damp from the showers. As the door re-engaged behind him, Sparky appeared. He shimmered happily, doing a quick orbit around Uldwyn. “You look nice!”

“Thanks.”

“Do you feel better?” He wandered over to the bed, taking a seat.

“I guess.” He found one of those fragmented parts of him feeling sad that the barber hadn’t been so inclined to slice his jugular. It’d meant freedom from this, at least in death.

“Does your brain always do that?” Sparky asked, floating a bit closer.

“Do what?” Uldwyn inquired, arching a bushy black brow.

“Think about dying. I mean, I guess it’s nothing special. A lot of people here think like that, but it… it doesn’t make it right.” He merely grunted softly in reply to Sparky. “I mean it! No matter the reason! I like to think the world is better with people in it. Humans are nice.”

“Really?” He replied skeptically. “Even those of us that are monsters?” Sparky hummed softly.

“… I… I’m not sure. But… I know that you feel things about what you did. I can hear those feelings sometimes. And from the bits I saw, it’s true, you weren’t good or nice. I’ll acknowledge that, but – but it doesn’t mean you deserve to die or suffer eternally over it!” Another unconvinced grunt sounded from Uldwyn as he scooted back on the cot, nestling up against the wall.

“I’m afraid there are a lot of people you’ll have to convince on that one,” he replied, letting his amber eyes rest on the clock. His vision glitched momentarily. The collar that was locking down and suppressing his augments was interfering with his eyes. At least they still worked most of the time, even if the more interesting functions were suppressed. He had a while before dinner. His eyes skimmed the room. White walls of featureless biocrete and little else.

“Well I will! Just from talking with you for a bit, I don’t think you’re deserving of that, and I stand by it,” Sparky stated with conviction. Uldwyn continued examining the room idly. No seams. This must’ve been poured all at once. It had to be reinforced, no doubt. The lack of a single hairline crack was a little impressive. Then there was the doors. An interesting design. An interlocking mechanism. He could tell from the sound that something else also engaged when the pieces were finished locking together. Another piece? Bars perhaps. The engineering side of his brain buzzed as he idly analyzed the room. Not because he was planning an escape, but for lack of better to do.

The real killer of solitary confinement was the boredom.

White walls of featureless biocrete, and nothing else.

At least he had a conversation partner now, even if the little ball was suspect, and a little too optimistic. Sparky floated closer than he had up to that point, only a scant few inches from Uldwyn’s face. “You really do look a lot better clean shaven, you know. It makes you look younger!”

“I know.” He pondered the power source behind the mechanisms. The place had to be running on solar. He didn’t detect any magitek in the area, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. They could be using shielding in an attempt to hide where the main generators are. That’d be wise for avoiding –

“So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?” Sparky bobbed in the air.

“We could try staring at a wall. Riveting stuff. Or we could try having another mental breakdown. That takes up a lot time. Fantastic time waster. Ten out of ten,” Uldwyn replied sarcastically. The ball of wispy light that was Sparky’s body flattened out as he groaned.

“You don’t have to be like that, you know. I was just asking.”

“You have the luxury of flying in and out of these cells. I don’t. So, my apologies if my countenance is a little… sardonic.” The ball of light groaned again and floated around in a figure eight before settling into a spot.

“Well, you know, you look like you’re pretty fit. I’ve heard keeping active for you beings helps with mood. Maybe a little exercise wouldn’t hurt?” Sparky perked. “Oh! Or maybe you could tell me about those tattoos you have on your arm. I’ve heard that those are permanent – tattoos, that is – so they must have a story behind them if you’re willing to put them on your body permanently.” Uldwyn looked down at his right arm, and the flowing lines of black ink that wrapped around his bicep, and vanished up behind the bright orange sleeve of the prison jumpsuit.

“Contrary to popular belief, the tattoos on my arm are just… tattoos. I got them because I liked them,” he said, letting his arm fall. His shoulder quietly popped, making him wrinkle his nose. Maybe some stretches and a little calisthenics wouldn’t be such a bad idea afterall.

“Oh, really? No story or anything? Awww,” Sparky replied disappointedly. Uldwyn eyed the little ball of light for a moment before sighing and shaking his head. Without another word, he shrugged off the top part of the jumpsuit and turned to let Sparky have a good look at his back, surprising the little guy with the sight of even more tattoos. The lines of ink that ran like a river all over his shoulder and bicep flowed onto his back as well, their origin point being a large depiction of a black hole, situated right in between his shoulder blades. A pair of kestrels in flight flanked the singularity, while a small, minimalist trio of celestial bodies went down his spine – the Sun, Earth, and Pluto. “Oh! There’s more! Do these have a story?”

“Yes, these do. The black hole is meant to represent the mysteries that I have chased with my sister. We suspect that the Leyflow that cuts through Pluto might have originated from a singularity far and away, but we don’t know for sure. The kestrels are… myself and Mara, fearlessly in flight.” A soft, wry laugh escaped him. “Not even a black hole could pull us from the sky…” He trailed off, his shoulders slumping. “Or that was what I told myself,” he mumbled softly. Sparky floated closer, examining the tattoos. The wisps of light that came off of him gently tickled Uldwyn’s skin. The light was surprisingly warm against his skin. Pleasantly so.

“And these? The planets and stuff.”

Uldwyn perked, pulled briefly from his melancholy. “Oh, I’m used to that being fairly self-explanatory for people, but I guess you’re not… people. The Sun is the center of our solar system, so it’s sort of automatically an important part of my life, even as far out as Pluto. Earth is where the Exodus Green colony ship originated from, where I came from, so… It was my first home. And Pluto, that’s my second home. Well, was. I’m… I’m pretty sure I’m not welcome back there anymore.”

“You don’t know that, Uldwyn.”

“Good point. How silly of me. I’m sure everyone will just conveniently forget the things I inflicted upon them back in the beautiful Kingdom of Elusinia. They were all such tiny little things. Easily brushed aside. But it’s okay Uldwyn, you made a mistake. Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly how it will go if I ever get the chance to return. And while we’re entertaining delusions, I’m sure this whole prison deal is also a misunderstanding. Let me just get up and ask to be let out. I’m sure they’ll listen. Surely,” he dryly replied. Sparky groaned, sinking down a few inches in a degree of exhausted frustration.

“Why are you like this?”

“Stupid suggestions get sarcastic replies.”

“I’m genuinely just trying to help.” Uldwyn looked over his shoulder, back at Sparky.

“I’m still not sure you’re not another sweet lie – a lure on an angler fish just being dangled in front of me.” He returned his gaze to the white wall in front of him. “Then again, I suppose it doesn’t matter, in the end. … You do make decent company, if nothing else. Being otherwise stuck with four white walls as company isn’t particularly great, but this is my home now. I had best get used to it.” Silence settled over the two of them. Uldwyn had nothing else he wanted to waste breath on, and Sparky mulled over how to attack the situation at hand – and perhaps brace himself for more of Uldwyn’s unrelenting sass.

Eventually, with a sigh, Uldwyn turned and slipped off the bed. He took a moment to tie the arms of the jumpsuit around his waist. Lounging topless sounded like a good idea to him, given the stagnant warmth that the recycled oxygen had taken on. An unfortunate side-effect of the sun shining on the facility. Who knew how long it’d be before the end of the “day” on the Moon. He’d lost track of time while he was there. His hair was his best and perhaps only indicator.

He rolled his shoulders and took to doing some stretches. It was something to do.

If he recalled correctly, a day on the Moon lasted approximately 29 Earth-days. His eyes shifted to looking at a different part of the room as he pondered. What was that in Pluto-days? He was far more accustomed to those. The measurement of a “day” was about six Earth-days. Three days of beautiful, twinkling twilight, and then three days (and some change) of velvety foreboding night.

“Oh wow, you’re really flexible,” Sparky marveled while watching Uldwyn go through his routine of stretches. Orange eyes glanced at the little light, but he did not grace him with more sarcasm, this time.

He cocked his head to the side, eyes rolling up to look at the ceiling as he worked the math out in his head. Five Pluto days? He shrugged. He could live with that. It’s not like he could see the sun anyway, but he could certainly feel the effects on the facility. Most likely, when the night cycle started, it’d turn cold.

He leaned down and got into a handstand. At least the ceiling was high up in this place. “Oh, you have very good balance, too.” Sparky left his spot above the bed and made a slow orbit around Uldwyn. The man paid him no mind and took to doing some push-ups. “I can’t help but feel like you’re showing off, though.”

Perhaps it was equal parts boredom and putting on a show for his glowing roommate. Perhaps it was unequal parts. Still, the exercise was nice, and, well…

It was something to do.

The boredom was the real killer.

“… If you’re bored, I might be able to help with that.” Uldwyn paused, arms extended, and angled his head a bit to look generally in the direction of Sparky.

“Oh? Enlighten me.” He then resumed his push-ups.

“Weeeeeeeell, I might be able to convince the system to let you have another one of those credit thingies, aaaaaand maybe you can… get a book or something!” He lowered himself down and folded a leg under himself. Amber eyes narrowed while looking at the little light.

“So you’re telling me you could mess with that terminal this entire time, and you’re just now telling me?” Sparky’s form rippled nervously.

“Ah, well, honestly, I was afraid you’d ask me to bust you out of here, and I’m going to be really honest with you, I don’t think that’d go very well for you. Besides, messing with it doesn’t mean I can hide what I’ve done. The security here might get suspicious if we go too crazy.” Both of Uldwyn’s dark brows shot up and he inclined his head slightly. The ball wasn’t wrong. At least there was some pragmatism knocking around in… whatever he was. He drummed his fingers on the polished floor.

Escape. Funny. He’s already done that sort of thing once. At least back then he had backup and somewhere to go. Now? He’s on his own, and he’d be a dead man walking. The fact of it all hit him all over again and he couldn’t help but bitterly chuckle. Sparky floated a little closer, curious. Uldwyn eyed him once more, examining him. Perhaps he couldn’t always read his mind. How odd. He shook his head and shrugged.

“I guess a book would help pass the time.” A happy hum sounded from Sparky.

“That’s the spirit! Let me give it a shot!” The ball floated over to the panel, and shimmered as he incorporated into the wall. After a moment, the panel lit up a variety of colors, then went dark again. Another uneventful moment went by before Sparky came out of the console, shimmering back to life again. “There. Give it a shot.” Uldwyn narrowed his eyes in skepticism before getting up and sauntering over to the console. Same song, same dance. He pressed his hand to it and, eventually, the AI voice greeted him.

“Inmate #7050, what is your request?”

“Can I request a… book to read?” A pause.

“Inmate #7050, you have one enrichment credit, which is sufficient for one short novel. Would you like to spend it?” Again, both brows shot up. Well, Sparky might be real after all.

“Do I get a choice of book?”

“Negative, you have insufficient reading credits for that option.” Uldwyn scoffed. Of course they’d set it up so that it costs more to have a choice. Bastards.

“Alright. Well, yeah, I’d… I would like to spend my credit and request a novel.” Another pause.

“Affirmative. One short novel will be delivered to you alongside you nightly meal. A restriction has been placed on your account and will be lifted upon return of the book.” He tilted his head to the side.

“Can I ask what book I’m getting, or do I have to pay to know that information, too?”

“Hamlet, by William Shakespeare.” Uldwyn cast his gaze to the side, wrinkling his nose.

“The universe has a shitty sense of humor,” He mumbled. Still, it was better than nothing. He stepped away, returning to his spot in the middle of the cell. Sparky bounced in the air, quite pleased with himself.

“Well?” Uldwyn eyed the ball, pursing his lips. Sparky transitioned to doing an excited figure eight in the air. Uldwyn eventually sighed and shook his head.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” Sparky exclaimed happily. Praise! Genuine praise! And no sarcasm! He even got to witness a slow smile spread across Uldwyn’s lips as he watched the happy little entity.

“Well, if you are here to torment me or eat my soul or something, you’re doing a terrible job. BUT, one thing is for certain, you are real. It’s nice to know I’m… not hallucinating.” He popped his neck, glancing off to the side and muttering, “Again.” Sparky paused in his flight, his form rippling thoughtfully.

“Hmm, guess I’ll have to step up my game. I don’t have claws, so I can’t scratch the walls or anything. Oh! I know! I’ve witnessed other humans do this!” Uldwyn resumed his exercise as he arched up a brow, curious what his little friend was going to do. Clearing his “throat”, Sparky did a few vocal tests. “Mimimi miiiii…. And now I present to you… THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! YES, IT GOES ON AND ON, MY FRIEEEEND!”

Suddenly, he found himself regretting his earlier statement. Apparently torment was a part of Sparky’s repertoire. Uldwyn groaned, rolling his eyes. “Alright! Alright, already! You made your point!”

Sparky zoomed closer to Uldwyn, continuing his song, “And they’ll continue singing it forever just because it is the song that never ends!” Uldwyn swatted at the ball, beginning to laugh.

“STOP! You little bastard!” Another futile, half-hearted swat was delivered, missing Sparky again. Sparky stopped, bobbing in the air. His companion stared up at him…

Smiling.

He’d long since lost track of time. What would normally be extremely inhumane had become bearable thanks to Sparky and his ability to rig the system. How many books had Uldwyn devoured? And the conversations were actually rather nice. Even if Sparky wasn’t human, he still had some interesting insights. Uldwyn sighed and folded his arms behind his head, lounging on the cot, staring up at the featureless ceiling.

There was still a longing there.

His eyes slid closed. His mind fixated on the warmth of his hands, the way his skin felt. The bones underneath. If he focused hard enough, he could just barely feel where bone ended and metal began, so stealthily hidden beneath the skin, reinforcing his knuckles. The gentle thrum of his pulse.

He cracked his eyes open halfway.

Intimacy. Not just sex, necessarily, just… another person. The cold isolation of the biocrete cell was getting to him. At least out there, even a fist to the gut was something. A reminder of being alive, of being real, of other people existing.

He heaved out a sigh.

“Are you okay?” Sparky inquired, floating a few inches above Uldwyn’s body. The man shook his head.

“It’s nothing.” He opened his eyes the rest of the way, focusing on Sparky.

At least he had a friend.

“Hey, you’ve rooted around in here before, but it seems like you don’t always, uh, listen in. Is that just… how it is or…?” He inquired, squinting at the ball in mild confusion. Sparky clearly wasn’t in his head right now, or he wouldn’t have asked if he was okay.

“Well, when your thoughts are really loud or buzzy, I hear them. It’s kind of like I’m – oh how do I put it – it’s like I’m sitting outside of your room or something. Like the door’s closed, and I know you’re in there, but only the loud things make it out to me. When we met, your thoughts were practically shouting. I could just storm on in right now, but… I already poked around inside without permission. It’d be rude to do that again. Well, not just rude, invasive. I’m not like that. I don’t want to be like that.” Uldwyn hummed thoughtfully, mulling the words over.

“A strange traveler, stumbling upon a strange house, stopping to listen to the odd sounds that bleed outside the walls.” He paused. ‘Thoughts were practically shouting.’ “No, not just odd sounds. Screaming. Yeah, I’d stop and investigate, too.”

“You’ve got a way with words, you know that? I wonder if they’d let you have anything to write stuff with. You should be a writer!” Uldwyn smirked, chuckling.

“Funny you say that. I used to tell stories, though my audience was normally children. Still, it was nice to have such a captive audience. The way their eyes just lit up. I didn’t get to do it much, but it was nice.”

“Too busy?” His brows knitted together as he rattled around his own mind. “Busy. Yes. Something like that,” he absently replied.

“Stop filling their heads with nonsense and stop wasting time.”

The one person in the audience he wanted to excite and captivate. But he never did.

“I don’t think it’s nothing.” His eyes refocused on Sparky, who had now drifted closer. Concern tinged his flanged voice. “Do you want to talk about it? You seem kinda distracted.” Did he want to?

Not really.

But…

“Have you ever heard of the idea that twins share a connection?”

“I’ve heard of this concept with humans, yes. It’s fascinating stuff, though from what I’ve seen, I’m not sure it’s true. Or, if it is, you guys tend to act like you don’t understand each other a lot. Humans sure do like arguing.” Like they don’t understand each other. Uldwyn huffed a soft laugh.

“Yeah, I guess that’s part of being human.” He reached out to gently poke the ball of light. It felt strange. Warm. A little prickly. Yet, at the same time, like there was nothing there at all. The light of Sparky’s form rippled.

“Oh! That’s the first time you’ve actually reached out to touch me.” Uldwyn hummed softly.

“If I let you inside the house, could you… ‘see’ what I’m thinking? It’d make explaining what’s on my mind a lot easier. Well, maybe. It’s… It’s probably a little messy up there” A little was an understatement. There were still parts of his mind that felt fuzzy. Nibbled on. Fragmented. Whoever, whatever it was that was masquerading as his sister, it was a rude house guest. Sparky floated downwards, slowly, until he landed on Uldwyn’s chest. His form rippled once again. Uldwyn breathed in, taking in the feeling. The same feeling as when he poked him, but amplified, radiating out from his form across his chest.

It wasn’t unpleasant. Just… unusual.

“You really must not be feeling great if you’re saying that. I… could ‘visit’ for a bit? How about that? I feel like it’d be weird if I suddenly started hanging out there all the time. What we have going is nice and I think you deserve at least a little privacy.”

“Yeah that’s fine. That’ll wo – wait,” Uldwyn narrowed his eyes and peered down at the little ball of light resting on his chest. “What do you mean by, ‘you really must not be feeling great if you’re saying that’?” A few jagged shapes jutted out from Sparky’s form in surprise.

He couldn’t just say ‘because you love hearing yourself talk’, and even ‘you’re very outspoken’ was dangerous, given how keen Uldwyn was at reading between the lines.

“Right, let’s get to it then,” he nervously stated, sinking and vanishing into Uldwyn. It was a strange feeling, like drinking a hot chocolate in winter and licking a battery at the same time, only he could feel it across his whole abdomen. It didn’t last long. “Don’t worry, I’m still here. It’s just easier if I’m, well, closer.” Sparky’s voice was gentler, softer,closer. Impossibly close.Even if they’d talked about it, he didn’t want to alarm Uldwyn. “Now, what’s on your mind?”

What’s on his mind?

He stared up at the ceiling again, and his thoughts drifted.

Connection.

Did they ever actually have it?

A beach of ironsand. The sun setting on the horizon, painting a violet sky with clouds of peach and orange. The ocean lapping at his feet. It was ankle deep.

A memory.

Honey brown eyes staring out at the endless ocean. Two teens dragged out to a research facility in New Zealand for… something. Whatever their mother was researching was lost. Them being there. That was vivid.

A girl of the same height stood a few feet away. Farther away. Her feet weren’t yet in the water. The wind blew through her blonde hair. She, too, stared out at the horizon.

“It’s funny. You look at the horizon and it’s just endless ocean, on and on, like there’s nothing there. But there is something out there. Other islands. Continents,” Uldwyn mused. “I know it’s an illusion and all, but imagine if it was endless? If there was just this endless stretch to explore? New islands, new worlds…” He glanced back at Mara, smiling, excited. His excitement was not mirrored, but amusement did dance in her eyes. “I heard on the news that the colony on Mars is doing really good. It’s been a decade now, I think.”

The water was warm. Inviting.

“I wonder how far we’ll go. I mean, I know we lost contact with the Neptune ship but…” He kicked at the water, splashing around playfully. “I wonder what else is out there. Oh! You remember the transmissions?! They unscrambled them apparently. They said it was Sun Tzu. Aliens! Asking about Sun Tzu!”

“Interesting that you’re excited by an alien race familiar with ‘The Art of War’, of all things,” she stated, turning her own brown eyes to him. It was the only feature they shared. They had the same eyes.

“Well… yeah I guess we should be concerned about that, but still. There’s life out there. We finally have an answer to that mystery! Maybe they’re not hostile? Maybe they’re just curious? We did send a lot of stuff out into space. Maybe we meet them and it’ll be this awesome new chapter. It reminds me of a book I read, where humanity met other aliens and formed a coalition, and protected the galaxy. They built a grand space station, so that they could all meet on equal footing, and share their knowledge with each other. Share and grow stronger together. Through their cooperative effort, they could ensure peace for all of their races, and hope for the future.” He glanced again back at Mara.

She was standing with her hands on her hips, regarding him coolly with her glowing blue eyes, lips pursed. He looked back to the kids who regarded him with wide eyes. “That’s enough stories for today. My brother has important business to attend to,” she announced. He felt his heart sink a bit. He wasn’t done, but if that’s what she wanted… The children dispersed with their chaperone, a tall woman showing them around the complex, teaching them about the history of the colony on Pluto. “I thought I’d find you here.”

“Sorry. They were talking about the Exodus project. I… figured a first hand account would be interesting. And their teacher’s telling of the history was so dry,” Uldwyn replied, brushing a lock of dark hair to the side. One of Mara’s slender brows arched up.

“That was you retelling the Exodus project?”

“Ah… well… I might’ve gotten a little off-track. But it had a purpose! It was about the inspiration behind the project. Or what I think it was, anyway. We were pushing out and studying the horizon, afterall,” he replied with a nervous laugh. Mara looked up at the statue they were standing in front of.

“Uldwyn.”

“Yes, sister?”

“Stop filling their heads with nonsense.” He orange eyes stared at her for a moment and his gaze fell. “You have far more productive things you could be doing.”

The water lapped at his knees. High-tide was coming in. He glanced back at Mara. She saw something he didn’t. He looked back out at the horizon. He saw adventure and possibility. What she saw… he wasn’t sure.

Were they looking at the same thing?

“That felt lonely,” Sparky quietly said. Uldwyn didn’t answer immediately, instead continuing to stare at the ceiling. He turned onto his side.

“I’m going to take a nap. If I don’t wake up when that AI announces dinner, wake me up, okay?”

“I can do that.”

Were they ever looking at the same thing?

[wizzard890]

Regarding the repeating outfit: How do you keep clothes in good condition after repeated wear? they get very worn out after awhile :(

There are a couple answers to this, but please take them with my supposition that you’re not talking about hard-wearing clothing for specific work/activities. I assume that if you're some hottie in overalls at a wolf sanctuary or whatever, you're probably not turning to a fancy femme on tumblr for garment maintenance advice.

First off, where you buy your clothes is important. Fast fashion is not made to last, it is made to degrade like so much spider silk and to be thrown out with each trend cycle. It can be cared for (see my next point), but it takes effort, and you are actively resisting entropy. Buy well-made clothes secondhand, particularly vintage clothes, and you'll be better off. And when I say vintage, I don't mean pinups and victory curls, I mean good solid mall brands from the 90s, like Nine West, Anne Taylor, Old Navy and Gap. The quality dip in many consumer goods over the past twenty years has been horrifying to watch, and all the brands I listed have been victims, but there are still a lot of old, well-made pieces out there in the thrifting market. Or see if your parents / older family members or friends have anything similar in their closet that they wouldn't mind parting with.

(But ALSO even fast fashion used to be better. I have a sweater from Zara that I bought in the year of our lord 2013, and I wore it to dinner just this week. I've spent years making sure it didn't shrink in the wash and hanging it up and spot cleaning it, and it looks as good as it did the day I bought it. On that note --)

Please please please take care of your clothes. Read the labels inside them for washing instructions, go online to learn more about how to launder the specific material, make sure you don't tumble dry things that will shrink or melt, hang them up so they don't wrinkle, iron them carefully, take in buttons to be repaired at your local seamstress or laundromat, the list goes on. It's a little time consuming, but not complicated.

You'll also be more likely to put in the effort if you get a lot of use out of a garment, and don't feel like a dummy for steam-drying a trendy item that's going to be passé in a few months. Think judiciously about trends - will you be able to incorporate a piece into your personal style once the girlies on tiktok stop wearing it? If so, great. If not, you don't want to be stuck hand washing a popcorn crop top. (Idk if those are back in on the y2k train yet, but as a millennial who shopped at Limited Too, I advise my gen z followers that it's only a matter of time.)

Constant trend cycles, low-quality clothes, items sold for loose change during Shein or Fashion Nova sales, a generation brought up so the idea of "outfit repeating" has any social weight whatsoever: this shit is bad for the planet, and TERRIBLE for exploited workers across the world, particularly in the global south. We can all try for a better reality than this; your habits of personal consumption matter.

[9w1ft]

9-

I was looking through old jewelry stuff and found a necklace Karlie wore for about 6 months, from about Sept 2019-April 2020. It was a gold disk that was engraved with “I can and I will” on it. As our resident jewelry expert, any theories on what that may have been about?

hello hello

thank you for your inquiry 😌

so this necklace is something that i assume was bought along with two other pieces from the same brand because they appeared around the same time and she wore them often interchangeably, and frequently together. the necklace is by Zoe Chicco.

in addition to this disc with the mantra “I Can and I Will” inscribed on it, the necklaces i associate it with are a strand of graduated gold disks and a ‘sunbeam medallion’ which she actually wore a ton on its own.

the mantra necklace was most frequently worn within the set of these three and at the time it felt very much like just, idk, a trendy layered look, and she wore them so often that honestly i did not keep track of the necklaces well. so i had to do a little bit of poking around.

so, for your perusal, here is an incomplete list of times she has worn at least one of the three pieces, based on an account that was documenting her looks at the time (link) and StarStyle (link):

~~

she starts out wearing either the graduates discs or the sunbeam necklace, from september 2019

9/5/2019 in china for the world cup

9/8/2019 to the US open

9/18/2019 papped outside in nyc

9/21/2019 papped in rome (scooter was around)

10/10/2019 on her instagram outside in nyc

10/21/2019 papped outside in nyc

10/30/2019 papped outside in nyc

then the mantra necklace appeared and there was a period where she started wearing the three as a layered look more often, sometimes two together, and sometimes just the mantra necklace:

11/1/2019 promoing adidas on her insta

11/15/2019 papped outside in nyc

11/26/2019 at the elk in nyc

12/8/2019 papped outside in nyc

12/21/2019 yachting in st. barthelemy

1/27/2020 when karlie was in LA

2/18/2020 amex valentine’s day dinner

4/23/2020 instagram live w katie couric

4/28/2020 the today show

4/30/2020 met gala bts video

5/1/2020 exercising on instagram

5/1/2020 on wes gordon’s instagram

5/5/2020 the tonight show

5/17/2020 instagram from her nyc place

5/19/2020 klossy video about how falling on the runway can help your career

from this point forward she started wearing the necklaces separately instead of all three at once (not the mantra medallion though as far as i could tell) from mid 2020 up through mid 2021. for the sake of brevity i won’t list everything up, but you can check StarStyle from the above link.

~~~

as for what the mantra means, you know, this is just a loosely formed thing but… i will offer a quick thought

in retrospect, she wore the necklace along with the other two during a very specific time period, right? a little after taylor’s masters were bought by scooter, all the way up until she headed for LA a few months into quarantine. so if you think about late 2019-early 2020 as being this time where everyone thought karlie further betrayed taylor and where karlie went to places or events where scooter was and such… and how following this period of time scooter’s infidelity was eventually exposed and he divorced and a lot of his business dealings soured, and we got songs like mad woman, vigilante shit, and karma —songs that i do believe show that karlie stuck around scooter and got dirt on him for taylor— then, within that context, i think that the mantra “i can and i will” is pretty… badass 🙈 like, if the amulette de cartier was for dark seasons of life that require courage, this mantra feels much more something suitable for… playing offense 😏

[theblogtini]

It’s fine if she replaced the coat. It’s just that I think she’s debuted almost 10 new coats in the last few months so it seem pretty excessive, especially when we know what’s hanging in her closet. While she has never claimed to be a champion for sustainable fashion (which is pretty shady anyway) her clothing spending will only blow back on her in the end.

I meeeean... here's the thing.

Let's not all pretend that Catherine isn't a very wealthy woman (or rather, related to very wealthy people who in turn provide her with a very generous bank account).

Her husband just inherited an estate that brings in $24million PER YEAR.

Her parents are worth $67million thanks to her mother's business.

I know that, for us, owning a zillion coats seems unnecessary. But a) they are a drop in the bucket when it comes to how much money she has access to, and b) her job is to literally be photographed, and you know what gets her photo on the front pages - always looked flawless, and you know what helps her look flawless - a zillion coats (& also amazing genetics).

I do also think that Catherine has a system with her clothing. My guess is that every year she has a clothing budget allocated to her - and every year, she spends it. But she ALWAYS buys pieces that can be mixed and matched and that are timeless. We don't really see her out in things that are super trendy - we see her in things that are going to look just as good in 10 years as they do right now. And we see her recycle fairly regularly.

Case in point, we literally cannot tell if the coat she wore today is brand new or a decade old. (& honestly, I'm voting that it's the original coat. When Catherine purchases replicas they're usually in a different color.) Her clothing is kept in impeccable condition and - again - it's timeless.

I think it's so silly when people get bent out of shape about rich people being rich. If we saw Catherine do what normal people do, which is wear the same department store brand puffer jacket or pea coat to work every single day people would say "omg you need to step it up, you're supposed to be representing the monarchy and the country - why are you wearing that boring black coat AGAIN for the 20934th time?"

She can't win. So let her look nice while she gets shit on by Sussex stans and anti-monarchists.

[twobruhsinahottub]

TW: health concerns, doctors being assholes, vent / rant, long text post

Worried that i may be developing tardive dyskinesia- im on antipsychotic meds and have been for years now, i take a very low dose but have a lot of side effects already and now im getting facial tics relatively often....tho i also get other tics so maybe its some other thing, but ALL my tics are centred around my head/neck/face area. I should see a doctor but a few years ago i was getting vocal tics and facial tics and asked my doctor about it and he said it was just anxiety and its "common for teenage girls to think they have tics because its trendy on social media" so idk. Hes not my doc anymore but i dont trust doctors to really listen to me about my symptoms.

Also been getting migraines all the time, bad pains each month, dizziness, the shakes, and seeing stars and feeling faint and nauseous.....most symptoms of genetic conditions that run in the family, such as diabetes, and pcos, and migraines. Again, i should see a doctor but-

My GP is transphobic and fatphobic and rather rude and ableist which baffles me since shes a DOCTOR. Shes also my mums GP and she constantly tells her she needs to lose weight or have weight loss surgery and that shes not really disabled (she has EDS, POTS, fibro, CFS, amongst other things) shes just lazy and using "buzz words" from the internet (shes had these conditions since before the internet was invented ffs, she just finally has words to describe her symptoms since those conditions weren't widely talked about until recently)!!! The doc also refuses to use my pronouns despite having asked me in the first place or listen to me when I ask about medical transition. She also refuses to acknowledge my chronic pain and menstruation problems (cause of my pain, its constant, and so is the bleeding....also pmdd) saying "all girls feel that way" (um sorry? No? No other girls i know spend weeks with excruciating pain and cant leave the house due to pain and bleeding for at least a week per month if not more. No other girls i know end up in a psych ward because of how bad their suicidal ideation gets before their period is due.). She also refuses to listen to my mum when she peaks on my behalf due to verbal shutdown in the doctors office and inability to make phone calls due to it triggering shutdowns as well, she says im old enough to talk so i need to be in control (i am. I control what my mum says on my behalf. I tell her before we go in what i need to say, and she relays that. I nod or shake my head or shrug to her so she knows my answer to questions. I have a system of taps or sometimes text her to tell her to stop talking or say something further. I AM communicating, i just shut down verbally and cannot communicate to anyone but her when at a doctor appointment) and she won't listen to what my mum says, and asks us to leave when i dissociate and ignore all attempts at communication when she insists i verbally speak to her (at that point, nothing will work, because i feel incredibly pressured and then wont communicate at all to anyone, and often melt down or panic).

^ and no, just cant get a new GP. My current one is an hours drive away because there are none taking new patients in my area, and im out of zone for all the youth services due to my town bordering two regions. If theres any taking patients then its either more than an hour away and simply impractical to get there when needed, or it costs too much to get an appointment. Not to mention my communication struggles are worse with new people, especially doctors, and ive had the same doctor since birth so :/

I also dont have a counsellor or psychiatrist because despite having specific funding for it, there are none in my area! I had a great one then she quit, and the CAMHS one fired me for not speaking (??????) and again, new people? Hard.

Fuck I hate this and my developing health problems. I was healthy my entire life, like i didnt even get a cold more than once every couple years!!! I always had mental health problems but never physical. Now i feel like shit constantly. It all started with puberty which is also when yk, doctors decided that everything was "teenage girl syndrome" or just anxiety 🙄

[henrysglock]

Having a bit of a Henry monologue moment but like...I'm still a touch Bothered ™, and this is my account. So. I don't really care.

Moodboard for the people who were attacked for being normal and having fun on byIer tumblr during its August-October 2022 Purity Culture Boom who are watching the people who were puritans now take the opposite opinion because their original stance was all just an act for popularity/fandom morality kudos/Good Queer circle-jerking, but it's not trendy to be a puritan anymore so they have to flip sides to keep being Good and Right:

[more below the cut]

Guys when the purity culture fad is completely cyclical, and somehow we never seem to progress beyond it. It's always "fans vibing/being normal about media/making jokes", and then BOOM "anyone who even implies that teenagers might have sexual feelings for each other is a predator and a pedophile". Then eventually, after the damage is done, we drive those people out of the fandom by ignoring them until they leave out of boredom, only for a new round of people to come in a few months later and dig up the same old shit, and everyone loses their minds about it over and over again, when really it would be more effective just to ignore it, but no, no, everyone has to get their two-cents in (Myself included, I'm guilty of it too) and give these people the attention and validation of their moral "purity" that for some reason they're so desperately craving from people on the internet who have no idea how they actually act in real life. And all of this is somehow both detrimental to queer culture in its performative "save the children" right-wing rhetoric (Save the children from what? Being openly queer in a way that isn't childlike and infantilized beyond recognition? Gay boys having gay feelings about each other that aren't strictly ascetic and sexless?) and so entirely meaningless because we're having these arguments over fictional characters on a website...And it does all that while also harming people by witch-hunting them and throwing powerful, negative labels at them which end up either haunting their fandom experience or driving them from the fandom altogether...all because the drama-starters can't handle the idea of teenage boys kissing with tongue. (And why? Because it's ~perverse~? Is that what you want to say? Say it. Say what you mean, don't hide behind uwu moral goodness. Say that you think queerness is perverse and inappropriate for children. Go on, embrace your conservative viewpoints. Be honest.)

[diacripticcomplex]

Diabolik lovers AU where they’re human and normal teens:

Shu: a stoner, he’s so severe depressed he doesn’t know how to roll so he prefers bong hits, Edibles and prerolls. Super antisocial and always listening to music usually RnB old school 90s rap and some old bands as well, he’s that one guy that shows up like 5 times the whole school year. Would have long messy hair cause he wouldn’t cut it. Definitely only wears sweats, hoodies and slides.

Reiji: would be such a try hard overachiever, but acts like he’s all calm and composed. Is doing great in all of his classes because he’s trying to graduate earlier to go to Medical school. A goodie goodie, and lowkey a teachers pet, will purposely sabotage someone if they’re doing better than him. Reminds the teachers to give homework, tells the whole class to stfu when the teacher is talking. He likes to iron all his shirts for school, usually wear button downs, dress pants and dress shoes, hair slick back, he isn’t a big fan of loud sounds so doesn’t like music.

Ayato: Very popular and for all the wrong reasons, he enjoys bullying teachers and often gets in trouble, if he wasn’t such a troublemaker he would’ve been on the basketball team, physical education is the only class he’s doing good in. He likes to smoke weed sometimes with Shu, but he can’t stand the indica strain Shu usually smokes, and Ayato can not hangggg he’ll fall asleep after 4 hits, he knows how to roll too but his favorite drug surprisingly is percs, he likes the boost it gives him but he doesn’t understand how badly he treats other people when he’s off the percs, he likes to dress like a hype beast, expensive clothes and trendy things.

Kanato: that weird kid that literally brings his childhood toy to school and talks to himself, he hissed at people in the hallways and everyone thinks he’s a bit queer, he might be but surprisingly a lot of emo girls have a crush on him and he gets a lot of ACTION. He’s doing great in arts and literature but sucks at sciences and math, will literally scream at the teachers so they have no choice but to pass cause if not he will get them fired somehow, he also dyes his hair every few months and wears eyeliner, listens to screamo rock and wears a lot of band tees and plaid.

Laito: slept with every girl at school, somehow he’s good at convincing them to do so, never dated tho he lacks the emotional commitment, flirts with the teachers and lunch ladies, his signature in every class photo is a wink, he’s a day drinker and drinks at school, sneaking vodka into a water bottle, kanato hisses at him in the hallways, he also wreaks of Dior perfume and wears a lot of brand named luxury clothing, takes him 40 minutes just do to his hair only for him to put on his Gucci fedora, sometimes he’ll smoke a Cuban cigar, he’s doing bad in all his classes but has a girl in each class doing his schoolwork and homework.

Subaru: gives super black cat lone wolf energy but he’s really good at school, all his classes he’s doing really well, he argues with teachers when he thinks the lesson is stupid, enjoys debating but won’t join that club or any club. He sometimes smokes weed with Shu, when Ayato isn’t there since he finds him annoying, rescued a cat once and took care of it and still does, some girls have a crush on him but he’s oblivious to that.