#this is a complete mess of like five different theories mixed together

[edsearring]

just finished rewatching go2, and while of course there is a lot to be said for heavenly brainwashing and a general lack of proper communication, and while that is of course a huge part of it, i've barely seen anyone talking about just how little aziraphale actually wanted to go to heaven. almost all the way through the whole last bit.

when aziraphale is first approached by the metatron, he says that he's made his position perfectly clear. he knows where he stands, and so does everyone else. he stands with crowley, they're on their own side. but he decides to hear the metatron out, because what could he possibly say that would change his mind?

(i also think it's worth mentioning that the metatron opened with coffee. i don't personally believe in the coffee theory, but he may have started with that to show aziraphale that he's on 'his side.' he's not like the other angels, he's consumed things. he's gone against what angels expect.)

and at first, when the metatron gives his offer, aziraphale turns it down completely. he said it clearly, he doesn't want to go back to heaven. even as the metatron continues to detail all of these reasons why aziraphale should lead, aziraphale still looks pretty uncomfortable.

but the metatron can clearly see this isn't working, so he uses what he knows will always get aziraphale. crowley. he offers to restore him.

so aziraphale starts thinking. what if he accepts the offer? as so many other people have pointed out, there is no way aziraphale could have even come close to completely breaking out of the way he'd been taught to think for millions of years. so he thinks, well, heaven are the good ones. it would certainly be better if they were on the right side of things, wouldn't it? and crowley is a good person, he's seen it.

not to mention that crowley seemed so much happier when he was an angel. and to aziraphale, of course, it's because heaven are the good ones. crowley was so angry because he got lumped in with the bad ones. he just doesn't understand that maybe crowley was so angry because of the whole idea of a 'great plan', of the 'good ones' and 'bad ones' in the first place.

and finally, his decision was about safety. of course aziraphale wants to be with crowley. but they've been hiding from heaven and hell this whole time. if the metatron was being completely honest (which he obviously wasn't, that was a suspicious offer, but in aziraphale's situation he couldn't tell), they wouldn't have to hide, they could be together.

and so of course he rushes home to tell crowley, and of course crowley refuses, and has his big confession.

which, to be perfectly honest, i don't think was a horrible coincidence, or incredibly tragic timing. setting aside the fact that it just happened after the whole 'gabriel and beelzebub' incident, the metatron planned that.

he knew that crowley would refuse, because he never would accept an offer like that. and maybe he gathered that crowley would confess from the gabriel/beelzebub scene, maybe he overheard nina and maggie talking, it could have been anything.

the point is, it was the metatron's plan all along to have crowley refuse, confess, and storm out, leaving aziraphale heartbroken. that way he could come into the bookshop, hear it from aziraphale that crowley left.

because when crowley confessed, he did something that neither of them were used to. he said (at least a lot of) what he was actually feeling. and aziraphale has had millions of years of practice of denying exactly that, the instinct kicks in. he says "i forgive you". they both leave, heartbroken.

and at this point, when crowley is gone, and the metatron comes back in, what else is aziraphale going to do? he denies it. he does the very thing he refused in the first place, he goes to heaven, leaving everything behind, without crowley.

and only a few seconds afterwards, we can see that aziraphale regrets it. he starts trying to come up with excuses. he can't leave the bookshop—no, don't worry, muriel has that taken care of. do you need to take anything with you?—there isn't anything he can think of to get him out of this. he's run out of excuses.

and so it's too late. aziraphale is about to get into the elevator to heaven. but before he does that, he asks what the great plan that he'll be helping with is.

and the metatron says the second coming.

aziraphale knows he's been tricked, after this. if the second coming truly is the great plan, straight from the metatron, he can't 'fix heaven.' he can't improve anything if god's will is the second coming.

but what can he do? he gets in the elevator.

through the credits, we can see his shock, anger, and heartbreak so incredibly clearly. of course, until the smirk at the end.

that was the very moment when aziraphale made a plan to tear it all apart.

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

Wrong Answer

[MHA - Bakugou, Kirishima]

summary: Kirishima is struggling with math and asks Bakugou to help him study for an upcoming test. Unique tutoring methods are introduced, leading to some interesting discoveries between the two friends. (platonic KiriBaku tickle fic)

potential warnings: swearing, tickling

words: 1.7 k

a/n: here’s another mha fic because i’m obsessed :D if you couldn’t already tell i freaking love bakugou lmfao i promise my next fic will be for a different fandom but anyways please enjoy!

--

“How did I allow myself to be associated with an absolute idiot?” Bakugou asked aloud, fondly shaking his head.

Kirishima gave out an awkward laugh, embarrassedly rubbing his hand against the nape of his neck. “Sorry man, I seriously thought math was supposed to be about numbers. I genuinely don’t understand where all these letters are coming from.”

The two boys were seated on top of Kirishima’s bed, facing towards one another, with their notes and homework assignments scattered across the blankets. It had been the redhead’s idea to work on their homework together, knowing that he would be needing Bakugou’s help.

“This is just a review on the Pythagorean Theorem, Shitty Hair. You should’ve learned it three weeks ago instead of waiting until two days before the test!” Bakugou exasperatedly exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air to further emphasize his half-hearted frustration.

The blonde watched as Kirishima’s sheepish expression quickly turned into a look of distress, cringing slightly as he asked, “Wait… we’re having a test on the Python Theory?”

Bakugou facepalmed, dragging his hand slowly down the length of his face. “Oh fucking well. I’ve done all I could. At this point, you’re a lost cause.”

“C’mon Bakubro, I don’t need you to make me feel any more dumb than I already am! A little crash course is all I need, just please tutor me!” Kirishima pleaded, looking desperately into his friend’s eyes.

“You know what…” Bakugou started, an almost-evil smirk growing across his face. “I do have this one study method that I’ve been meaning to try out on someone.”

Kirishima beamed, oblivious to the suspiciously eager look on Bakugou’s face. “Oh that’s perfect, bro! You get to test out your new method and I can study for our math test, a manly win-win situation! So how does the method work?”

Repressing most of his excitement as to not reveal his true intentions, Bakugou explained, “It’s pretty simple really. I just have to ask you questions and then you gotta answer them. Here’s the twist though: instead of being praised or rewarded when you get the answers right, you get a little punishment if you answer them wrong.”

“Wait wait wait, hold on a second,” Kirishima butt in. “What do you mean ‘punishment?’ Are we talking like giving me a thumbs down, o-or like torture, or-”

“I wouldn’t hurt you, Shitty Hair, no matter how much of an idiot you are,” Bakugou quickly reassured.

Kirishima let out a sigh of relief. “Whew, thank god! You had me a little worried for a second there, man.”

“Don’t stress out over this, it’s just studying,” Bakugou said with a grin that implied that the pair were going to do more than just study. “All you have to do is answer correctly. Ready, dumbass?”

Kirishima gave the blonde two thumbs up, smiling warmly. “Ready as I’ll ever be! Hit me with it!”

“Good,” Bakugou smirked. “First question: what’s the formula of the Pythagorean Theorem? You’ve got five seconds, Shitty Hair.” 

“Five seconds?! Dude that’s not enough- WOAH!” Kirishima had started to object when suddenly Bakugou lunged at him, knocking the redhead down onto his back. Before he could fully process what was happening, Kirishima was being straddled just below the waist and his hands were pinned underneath Bakugou’s knees. The brief struggle made a complete mess of their papers and pencils, some even falling down to the floor. “Uhh.. Bakubro? I mean this in the friendliest way possible, but what the actual hell, man??"

Bakugou rested his hands on Kirishima’s sides, causing his friend to stiffen slightly. “What’s the formula of the Pythagorean Theorem? If your dumbass answers incorrectly, or doesn’t answer at all within the next five goddamn seconds, you’re gonna get punished,” he repeated, giving a small squeeze to emphasize his intentions.

Kirishima’s eyes widened in realization, a shaky smile coming across his face as he attempted to backtrack. “O-oh, I was actually just thinking that we should definitely try another method? Maybe we could- AAHahaha nohohoho!!”

“Wrong answer, Kiri,” Bakugou replied bluntly, starting to lightly wiggle his fingers along Kirishima’s sides, just enough to keep him squirming and giggling. “Why try another method when this one is working so well? Answer.”

Kirishima couldn’t help but tug on his hands, writhe from side to side, squeeze his eyes shut tight, anything that could possibly alleviate the soft, tickly sensations. Unfortunately, his attempts were only in vain. “Ihihihihi dohohon’t knohohohow! Thihihihis is wh-hihi-y Ihihihi need tuhuhutoring!”

“Alright dumbass, I’ll help you out a little. Just repeat after me…” Bakugou offered, showing a small bit of mercy towards his clueless friend. It wasn’t exactly a fair fight if Kirishima had no idea how to answer the questions; that’s why Bakugou was helping him in the first place after all. Without pausing his fluttering fingers, the blonde recited, “A squared plus B squared equals C squared.”

“Ihihi cahahan’t- EEHEHEHAHA” Bakugou dug his fingers into Kirishima’s sides in warning. “OKAHAHAhay okahay! A-hahahaha squahared pluhuhus B-hehe squahahared ehequals C-hihihi squahahared!”

“Nice job, Shitty Hair,” Bakugou momentarily ceased his tickling, giving Kirishima a chance to catch his breath. “Second question: can the Pythagorean Theorem be used on all types of triangles?”

Lucky for Kirishima, he had actually paid attention to that part of the lesson in class. With small, residue giggles getting mixed in with his words, he proudly answered, “Nohope, only rihight triahangles!”

“Correct. About time you started getting some of these shitty answers right,” Bakugou mocked playfully before a predatory glint filled his eyes. “Third question: where’s your worst spot?”

Kirishima’s head shot up and he immediately locked eyes with his friend, shaking his head pleadingly. “No noho no, I cahan’t!” Anxious titters slipped out of his mouth as he tried to bargain. “I-I’ll tell yohou my second wohorst spot, it’s rihight below my behehelly button!”

Bakugou wasted no time in slipping both hands underneath Kirishima’s shirt and moving them to his lower stomach. Forming miniature claws, he started vibrating his fingers deep into the sensitive flesh. Uncontrollable laughter spilled out between Kirishima’s pointed teeth, but Bakugou wasn’t satisfied yet. “I don’t want your second worst spot. Fucking answer the damn question, or I won’t ever stop~”

His head fell back to look up at the ceiling instead of Bakugou’s piercing gaze. Kirishima put as much strength as he could into trying to buck the hands off of his torso, but the redhead quickly came to the realization that there was no way out. If he didn’t answer, there was no doubt that Bakugou would keep tickling him until he died of laughter. Blushing at the thought, Kirishima surrendered, “RIHIHIHIHIHIHIBS! IHIHIHIT’S MY RIHIHIHIBS!!”

“Perfect.” Bakugou instantly slithered his hands further up until they reached the dreaded spot. He gently massaged his thumbs into Kirishima’s ribs, not hard enough to hurt, but with just the right amount of pressure that got his friend squirming hopelessly from left to right. “Damn, these guys are pretty sensitive, aren’t they?” Bakugou teased fondly.

“YEHEHEHEHES! IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLEHES!!” Kirishima confessed, screams of laughters flowing out of him before he could even think about resisting them. But then again, he didn’t really want to resist. Kirishima had to admit that it did feel good to let loose from the stress of school and just laugh freely. Those thoughts were immediately pushed to the back of his mind the instant Bakugou’s fingers scribbled against his second lowest ribs, a particularly weak spot on his ribcage. “NO NO NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA! BAHAHAKUG-AAHAHA! NAHAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!”

Bakugou’s eyes practically gleamed with excitement as he honed in on the newfound spot. “Ohoho, what is this wonderful little spot I’ve found, Shitty Hair?” 

Kirishima was hysterically howling and shrieking, losing his mind to the sensations and barely able to form complete sentences. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE NOHOHO! IHIHI CAHAHAHAHAN’T!!”

The blonde slowed his fingers down, but drummed them against the second lowest rib to keep Kirishima wiggling and giggling. “Alright Kiri, final question: who’s the best tutor in all of UA? I’ll even give you a small hint: your dumbass better say that it’s me.”

Having more control over his mouth, Kirishima bravely teased, “Wohohow, suhuhuper suhubtle, Bahakubroho.” This earned his ribs a few ticklish pinches, causing the redhead to jolt and squeal before returning to his steady stream of chuckles.

“That loudass mouth of your’s is gonna get you into some serious trouble,” Bakugou lightly taunted. “Now spit out your fucking answer already!”

Through his giggle high, Kirishima quickly responded, “Yohohohou! Ihihihit’s youhuhuhu! Yohohou’re the behehest tuhutor to ehehever exihihihist!!”

Bakugou climbed off of Kirishima and helped him sit up before crawling back to his end of the bed. “Hell yeah I am, and don’t you ever forget it!”

Kirishima rubbed his hands along his ribs to get rid of the funny, tingling feeling that was left behind from the attack. “Geheez dude, I seriously dihidn’t take you ahahas the type to initiate a tihihickle fihight like that.”

Rolling his eyes as he started to pick back up their school work that was previously disregarded on the blankets, Bakugou retorted, “Oh please, this was just payback for what you and the other idiots did to me on my birthday. Karma’s a bitch like that.”

“Oh c’mon, man, there’s no need to lie. You and I both know that you loved it!”

Bakugou’s head quickly whipped around to look at Kirishima incredulously, eyes widened slightly. “No I didn’t, you ass! It was absolute torture and you’re honoestly lucky that I don’t hate you dumbasses for doing it.”

Keeping eye contact with his friend, Kirishima effortlessly came back with, “Dude, if you seriously thought it was torture, there is no doubt that you would have found a way to make us stop. Or, at the very least, you would’ve asked us to stop.”

Realization flashed across Bakugou’s face for a brief moment, accompanied by a light blush that Kirishima easily noticed. But in the blink of an eye, Bakugou’s defenses were put back up, as if they had never gone down in the first place. “Oh yeah? Then how come you didn’t ask me to stop the whole time I was tickling you just now? Explain that, Shitty Hair.”

A challenging smile spread across Kirishima’s lips. “I never said that I didn’t like it.”

--

a/n: ngl i had some troubles starting this fic, but let me tell you that when i finally got into it, everything just started coming together and now i love it! thanks for reading everyone <3

[anepiphany]

okay wait everyone is doing these cute posts about their moots and so i’d like to write out what havoc a team of one of my mutuals and i would wreck if we were in the bau:

(this is me being dumb at 2 am and i’m definitely going to make some cute sort of post too but i felt like doing this)

((also this took me forever to do lmao so if there’s anyone i forgot i swear it is nothing against you i just did moots i felt like i knew well enough to explain this for))

@ellegreenawy : y’all celie and i would be an iconic team because we come up with so many good ideas but our best ideas are always in the middle of the night. so you best know if reid ain’t solving the case, celie and i crack it at 2 am. also, celie is definitely rossi’s favorite. she’s the only person he lets cook with him regularly, and i’m the one who definitely got distracted and forgot to put water in the pasta pot so i ended up setting the pasta on fire so i am banned from the kitchen most of the time (it’s not that i can’t cook, it’s that i got distracted that one time and rossi refuses to believe me). oh and her and i would definitely write a book together the way rossi did. and we’d guest lecture together too.

@babyblockcolorcat : fabs and i would def be in seasons 8-9 of cm together and we would get nothing done because this girl would not be able to function around alex blake. but also faby would rock a blazer. her and em definitely share a closet. faby around alex is like reid around practically any girl in the early seasons, and it’s kind of adorable but also the rest of us (me and the team) are standing around like “why the fuck is alex so oblivious” (of course this is an au where alex isn’t married). i mean the whole “good morning, faby!” from alex and then faby accidentally walks into a pole and spills her coffee

@reidsemily : bro bekah and i would be an elite partnership. we definitely spend our free time with penny and morgan because i feel like the four of us would be iconic together. also if we’re called in for a case in the middle of the night her and i are definitely the ones that show up and chug five cups of coffee before we can even say a word. and then someone (probably jj) is going to point out that my blazer is inside out and that bekah is wear two different shoes and we’re just going to drink another cup of coffee

@linguinereid : i would love to hear conversations between bee and reid because i’d probably learn more from them than my entire school life. bee is definitely a major part as to why we can solve all these cases, and i feel like her and i interrogating a suspect together would be interesting. i’d probably talk enough to bore the unsub to death, and then bee would just say things and psychoanalyze the suspect until they broke

@ssaemilyprentits : okay so i feel like steph and morgan have been in a prank war since she started working at the bau and somehow i got involved in it and now we’re just this chaotic mess of “ok ani wait you distract morgan and i’ll go mix salt into his coffee” and “steph keep derek busy so i can go and stick this sign that has his phone number and ‘call me for foot massages’ written on it on the back of his car”

@whiskey-fluent and @jenniferxprentiss : i wholeheartedly believe that h and ash would be the most sarcastic and upfront agents. like straight up would make the suspects tremble during interrogation. and they’d always be sent to do stuff together; they’d be the dream team. i know technically i don’t fit into this equation but like their energy together as fbi agents would be immaculate so i needed to talk about it. like that one episode where the unsub is morgan’s cousin’s husband who forced her to marry him and jj and emily walk into the interrogation room and are conversing about will and henry? yeah, that’s h and ash. i’d probably be penny in the trio.

@heat-waveee : ok i think lb and i would honestly be a very productive duo during work. like she’d def keep my procrastination in check on paperwork days and we’d be good at finding info together during cases. and lb would be great at talking to eyewitnesses and friends/family of the victim(s). but when the case is over? we’d be insane. like at dinner parties with the team, nights out at the bar- we’d be going crazy. oh also we’d be crushing on em so much

@apologetically-apologetic : so abbie and i would be great at coming up with theories because in the short amount of time i’ve talked to her we’ve had so many genius ideas. i think we’d observe crime scenes and just piggyback theories onto each other until we figure out a fairly solid one and then use evidence we find later and adjust or expand our theory and then we’d solve cases really well. also, i think if we ever got like trapped with an unsub or like taken together by an unsub we’d definitely come up with a good plan and there’s like an 85% chance that we’d be fine

@reidemandweep : roo and i would just be an organized mess tbh. our desks are for sure next to each other, and whoever comes in first makes coffee for themselves and the other person as well. we’d probably hold off on paperwork till the very last minute but turn it in right on time. i also think roo and i would make a great team when interrogating a suspect. like that one episode where jj and morgan pretend to be a couple and talk to that white supremacist guy? yeah roo and i would be the gay poc couple to annoy the unsub if they were bugged by that. also, we’d definitely be caught trash talking strauss. like “ugh she’s so annoying and messes stuff up for us a lot” and then everyone’s quiet and we’re like “she’s right behind us isn’t she”. we’d also tease rossi about dating her but in the end i don’t think we’d hate her completely because we’re nice enough to understand she’s doing her job but also we’d be like “no <3″ to most of the stuff she says

@eusuntgroot : hj and i would honestly be very nice people together i think. well, hj would be my better half. she’d be really good at talking to families of the victims, because she’s great at being empathetic and she’s so caring. the two of us would probably be sent to speak with victims and eyewitnesses because we’d be good together at calming them down and being there for them and trying to get information. also, hj and i would be great at talking an unsub down together if necessary 

@agenthotchner : honestly i feel like snow and i would be really badass undercover. like i get very “entropy” vibes from the two of us. like tara and morgan vibes in that episode. snow and i would most definitely find an unsub while undercover at a bar, lure him outside, and then threaten to hit him in the face with a pair of heels as we handcuff him and lead him to the cop car

@davidrossi-ismydad : sammy and i would have such chaotic energy during paperwork days- hanging out with penelope, locking jj and emily in a room until they got their sexual tension out of the way, sammy hanging out in hotch’s office doing god knows what. sammy and i would definitely make everyone laugh whenever they needed to but sammy would also come up with some of the most genius ideas that the others wouldn’t think of. he’d would definitely be the character that at the 30 minute mark of the episode is like “maybe we’re thinking this part of the profile wrong” and coming up with the correct profile and we’d be like “yes you’re onto something”

@cinnamon-rroll : okay jemma and i would be great at stakeouts. like we’d have the snacks ready and would have the most interesting conversations while watching our surroundings from the car with binoculars. i also think we’d be good undercover, too

@spideyspencer : listen avery would also be so good at interrogating suspects. like so amazing. she’d just be so good at intimidating them and not taking their shit whatsoever. and when we’d be chasing an unsub i’d definitely chase after them and she’d find an easier route and be standing there waiting for us. she’d be putting handcuffs on the unsub and i’d be wheezing and half out of breath like “how *wheeze* did you *wheeze* get here *wheeze* so *wheeze* fast?”

@prentiss-dinozzo : i feel like noelle and i would probably be like tara together: badass but also good critical thinkers and smart. and i think we’d do similar things to what reid did: go through case files, make geographic profiles, that sort of thing. and i also think we’d be good at guest lecturing together

(not me being dumb and forgetting caitlin because i did this at literally 2 am ugh!!)

@themetaphorgirl : okay caitlin gives me very much garcia vibes and i for sure think her and i in the bau would be best friends with penny. we’d be hosting parties/dinners and coming up with fun ways for all of us to hang out and we’d just have elite energy. we definitely convinced the bau to have a family bowling night and family game night and things like that. i think we’d also be good at talking unsubs down and definitely would be the ones talking to the friends/family of the victims. also, i have a feeling that caitlin would be good at making negotiations too! 

[thewatermelloncat]

Powers Against the Father (Allison and Klaus)

Luther, Diego, Five, Ben, Vanya

Author’s Note: This one’s a little different. I combined Allison and Klaus into the same edition since this way I could create a more in-depth story. It might be a little hard to follow, though I tried to explain it as best I could in the story, but in quick summary: 

The siblings want to stop their father making a deal with a company who wants to hire them to steal artefacts from indigenous cultures for a museum exhibit.

Hope that helps ease confusion.

Warnings: Possibly one mild swear word.

Tag list: 

@lunamusamelark

@ll-short-breadstikz-ll

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“I don’t understand why Five can’t do it!” Klaus whispers harshly to his siblings as they stand in formation outside the door of their father’s office. Watching him greet the owner of a museum who has arrived for an off-the-record meeting.

“And hide where, Klaus?” Five whispers back to him. “You know dad has cameras everywhere, even in the cupboards.”

“I know you don’t want to do this, but you’re our only hope” Allison tells him from his other side.

“Our only hope” Klaus chuckles to himself, “how cliché.”

Before the conversation can continue their father steps forward with their guest and introduces each of them, giving a brief rundown of their powers. Sounding like he’s boasting but disappointed in them all the same. When it gets to each of their turns to be introduced, some of them smile out of politeness but Klaus averts his eyes and stares down at his hands fidgeting in front of him.

After their introductions are finished, their father dismisses them and invites the museum representative into his office to discuss business with him. When the door closes, they all relax their posture and form into a tight group as they make their way through the hallway away from the office.

“The whole mission is wrong; even the guy seems like a pompous arsehole” Vanya keeps her voice low as to not be heard by the adults through the wall.

“And since when are we in the business of stealing?” Allison adds.

“The old man probably just wants to keep some of the artefacts for himself” Diego points out and various hums sound from around the group.

“What’s so bad about it anyway?” Klaus asks. “Isn’t it the point that people can learn about the cultures in the exhibit? Learning is good isn’t it?”

“Oh, so stealing artefacts from them is okay then?” Allison’s voice drips in sarcasm and her hair swishes violently as she turns the corner, Luther leading them into a room near by the office.

“Come on, Klaus” Five begs, “I for one don’t want to go back to the ideals of colonialism.”

“What about you?” Klaus turns to Luther who took the lead in the siblings settling down on a range of furniture in the centre of the room. “You’re normally daddy’s right-hand man and you’re being awfully silent. Why aren’t you arguing about this?”

“Because I agree with it” Luther admits and Klaus’ fear sinks deeper into him.

“Klaus, we’re all against it and we know you are too” Ben says. “We know you don’t want to do it, but we’ll all be right here with you.”

“But using our powers against dad?” Klaus tries in vain.

“Oh, come on! We do it all the time” Diego reminds him. “Allison’s already agreed to her part if it comes down to it, and who are you to pass up an opportunity to mess with dad?”

Klaus draws in a deep breath tangling his hands in his hair. “All right, you’ve sold me. But it’s going to cost me greatly, emotionally.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chairs creak as their occupants shift in them nervously, watching Klaus intently. His face is white and he would be sitting so still he may as well be a statue, if it weren’t for him shaking in fear. Behind his eyelids they can all see his eyes moving frantically, not wanting to see the ghosts he conjures. That’s the one solace to the plan, he doesn’t have to look at them, only hear them.

Still the sound of their voices, or maybe it is just their presence, makes him shake. Though he’s unaware of it, his siblings gradually place their hands on him as if they can hold him together. Of course, with the exception of Luther who is analysing the situation closely and Five who just doesn’t like physical contact, but they remain close by.

Klaus can’t hear the creaking of the chairs now that he has traded his hearing in the corporal plane for the depths of the realm of the dead. Only hearing the sounds of the ghosts yammering to him, screaming at him, until he can get them to settle down and hear him out. It may be his desperation to get this over with, but he manages to give out his instructions relatively quickly and feels their presence shift off into his father’s office.

Everything Klaus can hear through the ghosts he has stationed around his father’s desk sounds like it is underwater. Sometimes the connection cuts out for a few seconds and he wonders why they can be so loud in his ears when he doesn’t want them there, but so quiet when he needs them the most. He knows his father’s solution would be for him to practice more. Though he can understand enough to know when the earliest opportunity comes for him to tap out, and he takes it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The breath he draws in when he surfaces is so deep that he would have fallen out of his chair if it weren’t for his siblings’ hands on him. Opening his eyes, he sees most of them huddled around him, Five and Luther stepping forward to close the gaps in the group.

None of them speak, waiting for him to make the first move. Initially he can’t find any words to speak and shakes his head while he slowly formulates them together. His siblings are happy to wait for him, watching him with varying looks of concern.

“They’re making a deal that dad can keep some of the artefacts” is all he can manage in the end. He wants to say more but he can’t function well enough with the voices of ghosts still echoing in his head.

Collectively his siblings sigh in a mix of defeat and frustration, Diego not even bothering to point out that he called it. Allison is the first one to pop up from the hanging heads, standing up and brushing off her skirt. “Right. Let’s get to it.”

Her words spark the group into action and they all, aside from Klaus, stand from their chairs and form a huddle.

Though they already know the plan, Luther runs them through it. “Vanya, Diego, go distract mum.”

They both nod and leave the room for the kitchen where they are sure they will find her. “How long do you need?” Vanya asks Allison as she brushes past her.

“Five minutes will probably do” she says.

“Keep her as long as you can” Luther instructs, which is probably unnecessary since Grace isn’t likely to interrupt them anyway, it’s just that they don’t want to risk it. “Ben, you stay with Klaus.”

Ben nods to him and sits back down next to Klaus who is no longer paying attention, before Luther gives out his last instruction. “Five, Allison, you’re with me.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Allison knows she isn’t as nervous as she should be. By far her and her siblings haven’t had the most normal of childhoods, but she knows that manipulating your parents isn’t considered appropriate.

Neither of the boys either side of her say anything as they walk down the hallway. She prefers it that way, giving her time rehearse the correct words to say to her father. Though in theory they should come to her easily now with all the training she’s been put through.

Coming to stop in front of the office door they look to each other and nod before Luther knocks on the polished wood.

Behind the door they can hear their father’s muffled voice complaining before angry footsteps make their way to the door. In preparation the three of them step back before the door swings open.

“What is the meaning of this?” their father hisses lowly at them.

“Mum is malfunctioning, sir” Luther lies far too easily for someone who often follows the rules.

“I have an important guest around. I will deal with it later” he snaps at them, his eyes flicking back to his guest standing alone by the mantelpiece. “In the meantime, shut her down.”

“We have tried already, sir. We didn’t want to disturb you if we didn’t need to” Five continues the lie. “We think it may be a loose wire in the control panel.”

Their father sighs deeply, seeming to buy into their lie as he internally debates which action to take.

“Five and I can show the representative around” Luther persuades. “Surely he’d like to see your collection of souvenirs from your travels in Africa.”

“Most certainly I would” the representative says, now standing in the centre of the room listening into their conversation. “We were just talking about your travels there, weren’t we Reginald?”

“Yes, that we were” Reginald replies, voice sounding distant as he thinks. “Very well then” he settles turning back to their guest. “I must apologise, I have a matter I must attend to. My children Number 1 and Number 5 will show you to the artefacts.”

Allison has to bite back a smirk at the distaste in which her father says ‘children.’ He must really want this deal if he’s putting up the front of a caring and attentive father. It’s gong to make it so much sweeter for her to break.

As their father and Luther trade places on either side of the office door, Luther flicks her a look with a nod of his head which she knows to mean good luck. She nods back to him before he turns around to follow Five already over shaking the representative’s hand, feigning politeness though Allison can see it’s completely conceited.

After her father follows along behind her, her face breaks out in a smile which she hopes he can’t see. This is all in her hands now.

She can feel adrenaline starting to pulse more heavily in her veins as she leads the way in rounding the corner to the main staircase. When they step out into the open space, she stops in front of him halting her father in his tracks.

His noise of startlement and frustration is ignored and before he can speak Allison beats him to it.

“I heard a rumour, that you refuse to take the deal.”

Her father freezes in his movements and his eyes glaze over as the words persuade him. Without a word he abruptly turns on his heels and marches back towards his office. Allison quickly follows after him, barely keeping up with his long strides.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Both Allison and Luther have to bite their lips against smiling as the museum representative rages at their father who seems utterly confused as to why he is not taking up the deal. Five stands with them off to the side, neutral faced. Already a master of controlling his expressions, though Allison can see a bright glint in his eyes.

They watch in amusement as the representative angrily shoves his papers back into his briefcase mumbling incomprehensibly about how confused he is as to why his nearly-to-be business partner backed out of the deal so suddenly. With a final clap of the briefcase closing and the latches snapping shut, he huffs and storms out of the room. Their father being the supposed proper gentlemen follows behind him to see him out, ignoring the complaints of the representative that he can find his own way.

The arguing of the two men draws the siblings out from their various places. Five, Luther and Allison follow behind them out of the office, stopping at the top of the stairs where they can see Diego and Vanya standing downstairs in the foyer beneath the door to the kitchen. Both looking at each other and trying not to laugh.

Looking back up across the railing to the other side of the staircase, Allison spots Ben leading Klaus out of the room they had settled in, dragging him by his arm. She’s glad to see that Klaus looks a lot brighter now, and when he looks up from watching their father disappear out of sight, he smiles at her.

She can’t help but beam back at him, throwing in a cheeky wink for good measure.

[thesecondcircleofkel]

NSFW Alphabet, Ace: A-Z

Reposting all of these together for convenience and to save space. I don’t accept requests to do the entire alphabet for someone all at once. You have to stick to the guidelines of 1 character per ask, and 5 letters per ask, and once I finish the alphabet for a character with requests like that, I will repost it all together. Request are closed at the moment, though.  

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t fall asleep right after he cums. And when I say right after, I mean within the next few seconds afterwards; it’s not a rare occurrence for him to fall asleep on top of you, and while he does feel a bit guilty about that afterwards, he also thinks it’s funny, the cheeky bastard. If by some miracle he doesn’t fall asleep immediately afterwards, then he’ll want to cuddle for a while, and he will most likely fall asleep during that cuddle session.

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)  

On his partner, Ace is all about a gorgeous set of eyes, and no matter what your opinion of them is, Ace is going to think that your eyes are the most beautiful things in the world. He loves the way that your eyes shine when you’re happy and seeing them clouded over with lust drives him absolutely wild.

On himself, he’s confident in his entire body, and before you came along, he didn’t really have a favorite part on himself. With you, however, he’s fond of whatever you pay the most attention to. So, if you can’t get enough of kissing those cute freckles of his, then those will be his favorite, and if you can’t keep your hands off of his abs, then it’ll be those, and so on.

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

It’s a little watery, and there’s quite a bit of it. He’s not picky over where he cums, but if you want him to pull out and cum on you, he generally prefers to cum on your belly. He also not picky about what he eats, so the taste of his cum is probably not the best in the world. But, if you can work past that, his head will damn near explode if you swallow his cum after giving him a blowjob.

D: Dirty Secret

It’s hardly a secret at this point, but he is prone to randomly falling asleep during sex, particularly if you two are in a position where he’s on top. It’s one thing for him to fall asleep right after sex but doing it during the act is a whole other affair, and he feels really bad that it happens. It’s not like he can do anything to prevent it, but he’ll do everything in his power to make it up to you once he wakes up, which will work in your favor, so long as you’re understanding and patient with him (and he doesn’t do it again).

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

This pretty boy has had a few flings during his voyages at sea, and he knows what he’s doing because of that. He also knows that everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex, so he’s very observant of you to try to figure out what your preferences are.

F: Favorite Position

He loves the view that he gets of your body whenever you ride him, so positions like Cowgirl, Crab, Precipice, and Shuttle are all some of his favorites.

Since he loves seeing your eyes so much, he’s also fond of face-to-face positions like Gemini, London Bridge, and Elephant.

He also likes trying out positions that are a bit unconventional, just to see if there’s any merit to them, and a few of those that he actually enjoyed are T Square, Dragon, Mermaid, and Snake. He’s still amazed that you made it through that last one without any mishaps.

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)  

He’ll do anything to see you smile, and if that includes bringing some humor into the bedroom, then so be it. He’ll always be serious during your more sensual sessions, but beyond that, he doesn’t mind trying to make you laugh during sex. Your laughter is like music to his ears, anyways, and so long as you’re having a good time, he’s fine with being goofy during sex.

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes)

It’s a bit of a mess. He doesn’t really do any maintenance down there because he doesn’t care to, and it’s pretty unruly thanks to that. There’s not too awfully much of it though, so…eh?

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He makes a lot of intimate eye contact during sex, and he also likes to hold you as much as he can during the act. Giggly sex is also common between the two of you; not only will there be laughter, but there will also be lots of light, playful kisses and hand holding, so those sessions end up being quite romantic.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

His sex drive is really high so he ends up jacking off a lot. He’s prone to moaning your name while he gets off because his mind will definitely be set on you, and he prefers to be lying back in his bed while he masturbates. He occasionally warms up his hands for some temperature play during his self-love sessions, and he always has a quick nap afterwards.

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Temperature Play- he has the power, so he will use it wisely. You can fully expect him to lightly heat up his hands (and other parts) so he can take your breath away with that warmth.

Dirty Talk, but not from him to you. He will talk dirty to you if you want him to, but it won’t do nearly as much for him as you talking dirty to him will. Not only will you get some fabulous moans out of him by doing this, but you’ll also cause a blush to spread across that freckled face of his (which is adorable).

Food Play, but only in theory, because we all know that that food wouldn’t make it anywhere near your body before he devoured it (the food, not your body, although that will follow shortly).

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t really have a preference. For the sake of convenience, however, you should probably try to keep things limited to the bedroom, given his propensity to fall asleep at the worst of times.

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He likes it when you show some appreciation for his body, so trace his abs with your fingers and run your hands over biceps and he’ll be ready to go in no time.

He loves the thought of you accidentally brushing against his dick while doing something completely unrelated to sex, so whenever it does happen, you expect a rather frantic quickie from him later.

He’s a pretty simple guy, so seeing you in some skimpy clothing is a surefire way to turn him on. Also, he doesn’t really understand why, but seeing you wearing his hat will get his dick hard in an instant.

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not into any sort of intense pain during sex. He’s down for hair pulling, spanking, scratching, and biting, but anything beyond that is a turn off for him since he doesn’t want to take a chance on either of you getting seriously hurt.

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s quite the hungry guy, and that’s not exclusive to food. He loves the taste of you, and he will frequently give you oral so he can indulge in that taste. He’s truly a glutton when he’s between your legs, and he’s likely to give you more than one orgasm because his appetite for your essence is so large. He is also a really big fan of receiving oral; he wouldn’t be able to choose which one he likes more, especially not with how intense blowjobs are for him. He’ll be a moaning mess as your mouth is on him, and he will definitely show you his appreciation afterwards by giving you oral in return. Introduce him to a 69 position, and this man will lose his damn mind.

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace can get pretty frantic, just because of how desperate he is for you. His pace is the main reason why his rounds aren’t that long; if he’d just slow down a bit and calm down, he’d last much longer, but patience isn’t really his strong suit, especially when he needs you so badly.

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)  

Ace loves quickies, and he’d like to have several of them during the week so long as you were okay with it. His desire for you always runs high, so quickies will pretty much become a necessity for him to be able to make it through the day. He doesn’t care where the quickies take place, either; he’ll take you anywhere, so long as the mood is right and there’s a relatively high chance that you won’t be interrupted.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s not the riskiest individual out there, but he’s not totally against taking risks, either. It really just depends on the risk. For example, public sex is a bit of a mixed bag with him. He’s a horny guy, so he’s definitely tempted to go for it if you ever make a move on him in public, but if there’s too high of a chance of getting caught, then he’ll begrudgingly walk away from the situation. He’s cool with experimentation, though, although certain things are bound to embarrass him a little; he’ll still try them, though.

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last, etc.)

His rounds aren’t the longest, but he can go for quite a few of them so long as he has a five-minute catnap in between (the nap is inevitable, so use it to your advantage to get as many rounds out of him as you can).

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He definitely doesn’t own any, and in all honesty, they kind of embarrass him. That’s not to say that he won’t use them on you if you want him to or vice versa, but he’ll be a hot red mess about it the whole time.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He is more than happy to tease you. It will mostly be playful in nature, but there will be times where edges you with a more serious look on his face, his eyes alight with lust as he plays your body like it’s his favorite instrument. He’s also perfectly fine with you teasing him, and you will get some delicious moans out of him whenever you do.

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Loud. He’s a moaner and a groaner, too, so there’s no denying what he’s doing. It’s not like he would ever try to deny that he was having sex with you, either; he’s a pirate, and he just doesn’t see why he should have to hold his noises back when you’ve worked so hard to get him to make them.

W: Wild Card

The mechanics of this would be a little different in the One Piece universe, but since there are apparently Den Den Mushi that can record and store videos, it would still work out: Ace totally wants to make a sex tape (recording?) with you. He’d love to have a recording of you two going at it for two main reasons: so he can watch it while he masturbates later on, and so he can have a good visual of you even when you’re separated for long periods of time. He would also love it if you were riding him in the recording, just to capture the best view of your body possible.

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

He’s got a perfectly average dick, at about 5  ½ inches in length (which could technically be slightly above average depending on what statistic you’re looking at) and 4 ½ inches in girth. It also has a bit of a downward curve to it, so use that to your advantage.

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is high, and he isn’t shy about it. It doesn’t matter where you are, if he’s horny, he’ll find you and tell you, no matter who else is around. It’s a bit embarrassing at times, but at least you can never doubt how much he wants you.

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Well…pretty quickly, which isn’t exactly a surprise when it comes to Ace, especially considering that he has been known to fall asleep during sex. It could only be for a minute or two, or he could be out for a few hours, it really just depends on the situation.

[xellandria]

Zmija Yilan was a temporary character I played towards the end of our Tomb of Annihilation campaign after my boy Alexus got petrified by a beholder somewhere deep in the bowels of the tomb itself.  We were able to “salvage” both him and Amara (who had also gotten petrified in the same fight) by shoving them into the Bag of Holding, but short of having the two of us sit on the bench while the remaining two party members waddled back to town, we had to roll some new characters.

I spent most of the week between the petrification and the new characters appearing being mad at myself for not remembering I had Inspiration I could have used to reroll either of my failed dex saves and not being able to do much beyond that, but with less than 72 hours left until she had to debut, I finally pulled an idea out of my butt, ran it by the DM because it involved Shenanigans™, got the OK and started designing her. Thus was born Zmija Yilan, whose appearance was based partly on an old photo that was semi-viral on Tumblr several years prior and partly on Xelloss from Slayers because when I’m in a pinch, that’s always who I fall back on, and have been doing so for like, 20+ years at this point lmao.  Personality-wise, there was a post floating around Tumblr that week about proverbs in various languages that, when translated literally or without context, made very little sense so she got a lot of that (and associated misunderstandings based on language mix-ups) mixed in with—again—Xelloss from Slayers, because I am a hack.  I would probably never play her again because she was so firmly entrenched in that campaign and also there’s some parts of how I designed/played her that I look back on and am like “ehhh I’m not sure I’m comfortable with the optics of this,” but I enjoyed playing her a lot more than I expected, and I look back on the end of our Tomb campaign very fondly because of it.

I haven’t been able to talk about her in public both for a lack of reason to do so and because I didn’t want to “spoil” my group in case they found my various social media posts, but as it’s nearly a year since she was introduced and nine months since the campaign ended, I’m gonna absolutely wall of text the shit outta this bitch, rofl (that said there’s baby’s first nekkid pin-up under here so assuming Tumblr lets me actually post it, fair warning for that under the cut)

Zmija Yilan - level 8-10 Human* Warlock (Great Old Ones/Pact of the Tome) (usually this is where my D&D character posts put stats but I don’t actually have access to her character sheet anymore, so let’s just pretend she had something ridiculous like maxed Charisma because I remember my spell DC being ridiculously high)

Zmija Yilan is a traveler from the far-off land of Zemlya, and a disciple of Matrymriy, one of the "family" of five gods in the pantheon of that region.  Matrymriy came to Zmija in a dream one night and told her to travel across the seas because She had a task for her, and that she would learn more once she reached her destination.  She's been traveling around Faerun for seven or so years—reaching one place, being given hints to go to a specific location, and upon reaching it, being told to travel on without seeming to do much more than just Be There.  Upon reaching Chult sometime within the last few months, her patron's hints indicated that she should travel to a place called Shilku Bay; she hired a guide (named Salida) and a bodyguard (a Fort Belurian mook) with what little locally-acceptable currency she had; they got separated after being attacked by a band of undead, and after failing to reunite with them, she was wandering around lost, trusting that Matrymriy will guide her where She desires her to go.

Part of her wandering had her end up in the Tomb of the Nine Gods itself, where she encountered our adventuring party (down two player characters) desperately trying to find their way out of the tomb in the hopes of returning to Port Nyanzaru to depetrify their friends.  Our barbarian’s player immediately distrusted her because I’d drawn her tabletop token with her back to the camera, which was an awkward feeling almost immediately returned in-game because both the barbarian and paladin aren’t hardcore RPers but they had to carry all the RP weight as they were introduced to this new character and explain that they were there to destroy a lich (both because it was the source of all the bad undead in the area, and because they’d been promised a reward—a motivation Zmija understood, as “a hungry bear will not dance.”)  Beyond the usual RP awkwardness there was an additional layer of awkwardness between the characters IC as at the time, Thokk was barely wearing more than a breastplate and loincloth, while Zmija was covered neck-to-ankle despite the heat and humidity of the region.  She claimed that in the culture of Zemlya, having strangers see your skin was a mark of great shame and that modesty was of paramount importance, so seeing so much of him was very off-putting and threw her off-balance for much of their initial interactions. 

Getting off on the “wrong” foot with the party and pushing as hard as I could into Zmija’s quirks (the weird proverbs, sprinkling in her Zemlyan vocabulary and making a point of her being from Very Far Away with Very Different Customs) meant I went a little too hard on them at the beginning, which is partly what I’d do differently and partly why the whole thing ended up working, so it’s a weird retrospective balance.  If my partymates had ever shoved (almost) any of the names or places Zmija mentioned into google, they probably would have twigged to the scheme pretty dang fast.

In reality, Zmija is not a human traveler from Zemlya, because surprise! she's actually Zsaksatyi, a Chultian Yuan-Ti Pureblood under the command of Fenthaza.  She worked as a bit of a double agent/interrogator within the Fane prior to her current assignment (hence her spell list's focus on information gathering, silent communication, and manipulation); she's been fleshing out her alternate persona for years and would occasionally pretend to be a captive and be thrown in one of those cells the party was in to get relevant information from the other prisoners, or assist others that were interrogating prisoners by more direct means (via Detect Thoughts).  In-universe, the language she pretends to speak is mostly made up, and something she's been working on for years at this point—it's not a fully-fleshed conlang and she only has a couple hundred words and phrases but it's enough to be consistent and believable when she sprinkles it into regular speech.  Since there's no real risk of running into anyone else from Zemlya (because it doesn't actually exist), it mostly didn't matter, and since there's actual meaning behind the words she does have, in theory it would have held up to a spell like Comprehend Languages as well. Out of universe, the language she speaks is an amalgamation of my own conlang stuff (which, like the in-universe version, is very limited and not complete) and various words and phrases pulled mostly from real-world Slavic languages (russian, croatian, hungarian, etc) with a little bit of Turkish thrown in when my English-only ear felt that it fit or when I had already used a word and needed another word for the same thing.  Zsaksatyi (pronounced dzahk sot-YEE) is the only name/word in the whole mess that doesn’t actually mean something somewhere, and was a combination of syllables from an online Yuan-Ti name generator that I kinda liked together. If she had ever been outed, I would probably have come up with something a little less cumbersome for me and my (almost certainly wholly monolingual) D&D group to say... but she didn’t, so Zsaksatyi it stays!

She very much looks up to Fenthaza and almost idolizes and worships her—if she ever had to choose between Fenthaza or Dendar, things might have gotten a little bit rough for her (possibly no matter which way she ultimately jumped, though I imagine Dendar's vengeance would be more immediate, if Dendar's a hands-on sort of patron).  Thankfully (for her), there was very little risk of that given that the party had left Fenthaza on reasonably neutral terms (having already helped her oust Ras Nsi from his position of power in the Fane and the party having essentially marked that dungeon as “cleared”). Fenthaza had sent her to scout the Tomb of the Nine Gods and locate (or steal) an artifact known as the Black Opal Crown, which will allow the Night Mother to emerge into the world.  The group actually came across the crown pretty soon after Zmija (and our other new character, a firbolg druid named Mei Ren who replaced our cleric, Amara) joined them, but the party couldn’t figure out how to get it out of the room it was in and Zsaksatyi was content that it would be safe from both our group and other adventurers there while she found her way back to the Fane (though she Sent the location to Fenthaza in case she wasn’t able to make it back).  That was actually like, halfway through the session right after she’d been introduced so having her sneak off that fast would have been absolutely wild, so I kept playing her as Zmija and while there were myriad opportunities for her to be discovered—including a hallway where any non-magical non-living thing got evaporated, up to and including clothing—she never was.  The fact that the only spells she ever used spell slots on were Hex, Counterspell, and Identify never really got commented upon, because prior to her joining the party we didn’t have a source for any sort of utility magic and we’d been feeling the lack for a while.  She was a lot of fun to play just as Zmija once I got the hang of her, but the hidden agenda that only our DM & I knew about was an extra layer of fun, too. It would have been neat to see how the party reacted to a reveal, but unless Jim wants to take us back to Chult to actually deal with the Night Mother’s return (because without having to keep up appearances and alignments, I’m pretty sure I could have gotten that crown out of there even before the weird teleport-defying magic of the Tomb got turned off), her story is over for us—taking her outside of the setting she was designed for would be weird... plus we already have two warlocks (well, one and a half) in a party of four PCs; adding a third would be a little bit bizarre, I think.

Her more Yuan-ti features include scales down her spine and across her shoulderblades, on the backs of her hands, and on her hips and thighs—mostly in reds, oranges, and browns, but as she increases in power and connection with the Night Mother, more of them are darkening to Her blue-black; it started right at that spot between the shoulderblades where you always picture being stabbed in the back, and has expanded from there; I imagine by level 20 all of her scales would be that blue-black and may have encroached further on the more human-y leather bits, probably encroaching on her face at the last, which would make being a spy a lot more difficult (even moreso than wearing as much clothing as she already does) but I guess at level 20, do you really need to be sneaking around pretending to be human?

In direct sunlight or other very bright light, her pupils constrict to slits, which is the real reason for her heavy eye makeup—between the distraction of it and the (somewhat exaggerated) squinting that such light induces, it often goes unnoticed, as it did with her character portrait (although to be fair to my party, Alexus also has slit eyes because that’s one of the traits of elves and half elves in D&D, and also I’m not sure if they ever saw her portrait any larger than 150x150 or whatever Roll20 shows them at). Both her top and bottom canine teeth are sharper, longer, and narrower than is typical for humans, and she is careful not to grin too widely and will cover her mouth when she laughs or yawns, whether she is in disguise or not.  That part I’ve never drawn though, so I can’t really point to that as something the party overlooked, heh.  In hindsight, I wish I'd given her more/heavier snake features but even the official art for Yuan-Ti player characters are very light on them and getting around the differences between human and yuan-ti racials without tipping off the party was hard enough as it was—I took the 120 feet of magic-ignoring darkvision invocation to disguise the fact that she innately had darkvision, I never used my racial spells and abilities unless I was willing to “use” a spell slot on them and had another plausible way to have obtained them, the one time I got hit with a poison ability (which she was immune to) I spent a lot of time “figuring out the math” on how much HP I had to drop, etc.  I also wish I’d given her darker skin, as she is supposed to be Chultian but she is significantly lighter than all the NPCs we came across.  Then again, I’m as white as a sheet soaked in bleach so there’s something weird about me RPing folks of colour regardless (especially given her fake backstory, agh agh agh) so yeah.  Really enjoyed her, don’t regret her, will not ever play her again rofl

In our very last session of Tomb of Annhiliation, the party—fresh off the victory over the big bad lich whose name I can never spell and his weird world-eating fetus—headed back to Port Nyanzaru via the Aarakocra village of Kir Sabal, which the previous variant of the party (of whom only Thokk remained alive and mobile enough to talk to them) had helped out significantly earlier in the campaign, unlocking a flying ritual that we were like “man we’re not coming back here if we’re gonna use it we gotta do it now” to get us the rest of the way to the port.  En route, Zmija tried to leave the group and rolled a secret 15 Stealth roll... contested by 17 and 18 perception rolls from Mei Ren and Thokk, but as she wasn’t carrying much of the party’s stuff and it was the end of the campaign, they kinda just let her give some line about seeing them again in the future maybe, the Mother’s will is unknowable, etc etc.  I think if Duf and Kattii didn’t know that I wanted Alexus back as badly as I did and that we were like twenty minutes (real time) away from actually getting him back, they might have considered that more suspicious than they did.

Pronunciations (and translations): (mostly C&Ped from her bio, which is the only part of her character sheet I can still access on Roll20)

Zmija Yilan: zMEE-ah yee-LAHN.  Because I'm subtle as hell, that's Croatian/Russian/Ukranian (first name) and Turkish (last name) for "snake/serpent," according to the internet.  What do you mean Remus Lupin is a werewolf?!

Matrymriy: mah-tRRuh mRREE (Rs are rolled).  Matrymriy is Zmija's claimed patron—one of five major Zemlyashan dieties—but she'll state that she doesn't know the name that she goes by in the local dialect.  That's only partly true, of course—мати мрій is Ukranian for "Mother of Dreams" (at least according to google translate), which is close enough to her patron's actual names and titles (Dendar, the Night Mother) that she can get away with it without actually raising suspicions about the true source of her powers.  She'll also do that thing where if someone tries to say the name back to her she'll "correct" them by saying it exactly the same four or five times and then "give up" and accept whatever "butchered" version the speaker comes up with, except she'll do it even if they're actually saying it perfectly correctly.  She may do this with her own name as well (sorry, Jim. And Duf. And Dustin. And Kattii. And Kattii's coworker, if he ever joins us and I'm still playing this character by then, lmao.) (2021 addition: and literally everyone who has a name that isn’t typically pronounced by us English-only plebians, I am so sorry I’m not better at your language)

Zsaksatyi: dzahk sot-YEE.  Zmija's real name, when she isn't pretending to be a human.  That doesn't mean anything as far as I know, it was just a combination of some of the syllables the random Yuan-Ti name generator was coming up with that I liked (which is also where "Itszella" was from), lol.  I may end up changing it to be less cumbersome at some point, unless it comes up before then and ends up written in stone, but I'm on a bit of a time crunch for the moment.

Zemlya: zem-lyah.  If pressed for more detail on where in Zemlya she's from (e.g. by someone pretending to know details about her country), her home town is Fal'shyva (fall-sheh-VAH), southeast of the capital of Hayali (HI-yah-LEE) and just north of the port city of Farazi (fah-ra-DZI), which is where she originally sailed from seven years ago. фальшива земля is Ukranian for "fake land," Hayali is Turkish for "imaginary," and Farazi is Turkish for "hypothetical," lol.

Proverbs & (approximate) Pronounciations: (if I recall correctly, asterisks indicate ones I had used, so I didn’t repeat myself too frequently)

Wziąć się w garść (zvun shih garsch): lit. take the self into the fist (polish), pull yourself together Галопом по Zemlya (gal-OH-pohm poe zem-lyah): lit. galloping across Zemlya (russian), to be hasty/haphazard. * У кого немає собаки, полює з котом (Ooh koe-hoe meh-MIGH-eh soe-BAH-kay, poe-LOO-yay koh-tome): lit. who does not have dog, hunts with cat (ukranian, original proverb is portugese), make do with what you have. Z choinki się urwałaś? (dzi hoink-E she urr-vahl-wash): lit. did you fall from a Candlenights(aka Christmas) tree? (polish), you are obviously not well-informed; are you dumb? * Mi o vuku (MEE oh voo-koo): lit. to talk of the wolf (croatian), speak of the devil. * Thalai muzhuguthal (tha-LIE MOOz-GOO-thal): lit. pour water over someone's head (tamil), cut off a relationship. * Хоть кол на голове теши (coat-coal nah gohl-ehvee teh-SHEE): lit. you can sharpen an axe on this head (russian), a very stubborn person.

Other Languages Are Hard Today, Let’s Just Proverb It In English:

Cat's Forehead (japanese): a tiny space, usually used humbly to refer to owned land. It fell between chairs (swedish): group work that everyone assumed someone else would do, and didn't get done as a result * It gives me a beautiful leg (french): fat lot of good that'll do me Drown the fish (french): avoid a subject by talking about anything and everything else, confuse the issue In a river with piranhas, the alligator swims backstroke (brazil): protect your weaknesses * Accusation always follows the cat (iraqi): it's easy to blame someone who can't defend themselves The honey only sticks to the mustache of he who licked it (arabic): he who smelt it, dealt it * A hungry bear does not dance (greek): the reward must be worth the cost (or at least exist) * The crayfish sides with the crab (korean): people who have a lot in common stay friends * If you can't live longer, live deeper (italian): get the most of your time * A spoon does not know the taste of soup (welsh): intelligence is not wisdom Examine what is said, not who speaks (arab): don't take things at face value * Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you (new zealand): have a positive outlook He who does not travel, does not know the value of men (moorish): wide experience is gr8 Do good and throw it in the sea (arab): don't expect anything back from kindness * Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is halved (swedish): friends make things better If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together (african): strength in numbers, speed on your own.

[justaghostingon]

Crack Au: The Remedial license Squad are Magical Girls!

Note: this is a crack au treated seriously for your own amusement, but it is still supposed to be silly so no flames.

Created with @mosaicofdreamsanddragons

Once, back before quirks there were five witches who made a pact, to pass on their powers to those who needed it most in their own forms, so that their legacy could go on forever

And they scattered their wands to the wind.

From then on, those that needed them would find the wand and wear the appearance of one of the magical girls, forced to live out their legacy weither they liked it of not.

I unfortunately, the wands had a very different idea of what made someone ‘need them most’

This was how the green wand fell into Late elementary school Bakugo’s hands

It wa originally scoping out Deku, but then realized it wouldn’t be able to stop the rampant bullying he was experiencing, nor could it be much in the way of defense. So instead it picked Bakugo, the worst of the lot with the most dangerous quirk.

For you see, magic and quirks don’t mess well, and by choosing Bakugo, the wand effectively nullifys his quirk, mid attack on Deku

This naturally horrifies Bakugo, who goes to the doctor, to discover there’s nothing wrong with his quirk, its still there, and chocks it up to beginner anxiety or perhaps a fluke? He’s just a kid afterall.

That night, the wand appears, and explains to Bakugo the deal. He gets his quirk back if he agrees to slay all the shadow monsters for the wand

The catch: the more Bakugo is mean to others, the more shadow monster are generated, as they are literally the pain or a soul given form

Bakugo promptly tries to break the wand in pieces to show exactly what he thinks of blackmail.

Doesn’t work, and he gets a magical girl transformation instead, finding himself in a green dress with a completely different face.

Bakugo freaks out, but realizing if his mom comes in and finds him he’ll be mistaken for an intruder, escapes outside

The wand then guides him to meet the rest of the team, who will help him in his task. And warns him he won’t be able to tell them his name. He also shows him how to use his magic, which is fire based. Oh the irony

Purple: a short girl in a purple dress and a pixie cut whose magic is wind based and can fly - who is actually Inasa, chosen after realizing how cruel Endeavour was and being crushed

Yellow: also short, but this time with childish pigtails and a yellow dress that makes her look very young and whose power is earth - Camie, who after being bullied for hitting puberty early wished to look different, and got her answer

Blue: tall girl with long, flowing blue hair in an elaborate braid who looks like a princess and whose power is water based- Shoto. Unlike the others, Shoto is a legacy. His sister had the wand before him and after his mother scarring him and their brother dying, begged the wand to take him when she got too old. It complied with her request. She’s the one who styled his hair

All of the others are way happier with their new lot in life than Bakugo, and also apparently none of them have their quirks on the line.

“We just loose them temporarily when a monster’s nearby” Camie explains with the flip of her hair. “What did u do to get it to remove it completely?”

Bakugo doesn’t feel like explaining, instead deciding to leave these extras and fight the beast himself

Which fails. Because he’s working with magic not his quirk, and he can’t take it alone anymore.

But the rest of the team save his butt, and in the course of it he manages to do well enough that the wand agrees to lift his quirk ban to what the others have, with the warning that if he picks on anyone, he loses it again until the next monster is beaten

This has, mixed results, as Bakugo struggles for the first time in his young life to not be a jerk, and loses it multiple times

To make matters worse, Deku has noticed he’s struggling, and keeps trying to help him, looking up all sorts of theories as to why he’s losing it (including quirk stealers)

Bakugo gets mad, feeling patronized, and lashes out, losing his quirk, and witnessing for the first time one of the giant shadow beasts come out of him.

Bakugo drags Deku away (since he touched Deku, deku can temporarily see it) and then the wand appears and tells Bakugo that the shadow monsters come from hurting human souls, the bigger yhe more pain the person was in, and didn’t he tell him to leave Deku alone? (Deku can’t hear the wand)

Bakugo curses, pushed Deku aside, grabs wand and transforms, and tries to fight the beast that’s even bigger than last time. Only to run into the problem of Deku, who doesn’t want him to kill it because he thinks it “ate Kacchan” (he didn’t see the transformation) and wants to save him.

Instead of explaining, Bakugo knocks him aside again, tells him he doesn’t care, and attacks, while the rest of the team show up to help and scold Bakugo for getting in over their (they don’t know anyone’s gender so call each other their) head, again.

The monster is vanquished, but Deku is furious, yelling at them for letting Bakugo die instead of trying to save him. None of the others know who Bakugo is, so they are equally perplexed. Bakugo discovers he can be mean(ish) to Deku in this form, tells him to beat it. To which the rest of the team jump on him for, especially Shoto, who says “he’s lost someone he cares about, have a heart”

Then real heroes show up and all four promptly remember vigilantism is illegal and scram. Bakugo shows up dressed normal, to Deku’s intense relief, but the damage has been done, and Deku tells the heroes the new vigilantees were cruel and left his friend to die.

So now the team has the heroes against them too

Bakugo scolds Deku for saying that, to which Deku looks him right in the eye and goes. “Those people weren’t heroes Kacchan. Heroes don’t behave like that.”

Bakugo wants to protest, but the wand reminds him that Deku doesn’t know its him, and does he really want to upset the boy who can summon giant shadow monsters at the slightest provocation?

Its the first time Bakugo gets a look at what Deku’s honest scorn looks like

Thus begins the teams greatest rival, in the form of one hero nerd with to much time on his hands, determined to avenge Kacchan, stop the dangerous hero pretenders, and discover the team’s secrets

He even comes to the almost correct conclusion that green is using Bakugo’s quirk to fuel their power

Eventually the team has to try and show him it was a missunderstanding, and the others win him over slowly. He doesn’t fully trust Bakugo’s alter ego though, to his great annoyance.

But the gang have bigger problems, including the fifth magical girl, a corrupted one who held on to long to their wand and started to use the safety of the wand to help commit small crimes

I’m not sure who it is, but it might be one of the league of villians, either Shigaraki, dabi, or Twice. Or it’s someone completely new.

Whoever they are, they’ve got the last wand and a pink dress, with power over peoples hearts they use to make them do things and give them things (and was supposed to go to their next leader)

The team do get the rogue away from their wand eventually, but it takes a while.

It then passes to a very small girl named Eri, but none of them know that as she doesn’t join them much, and when she inherts it they’re already graduating middle school and forced to give it up

This is very tough on the team, purple (Inasa) hugs them all and tells them he’ll miss them all. Blue (shoto) breaks down crying and confesses he’s never had friends before them. Yellow (Camie) says they’ll always be connected. Even Bakugo realizes he’ll miss them, if only just a little. Its him who tells them he’s going to be a hero at UA, so they can watch him from there.

They reveal their all going to be heroes too, blue in UA and the others In shiketsu. Yellow (Camie) says its a sign they’ll see each other again. Bakugo says he’ll crush them all.

When they are reunited, its not until after the revisional liscense that they actually figure out who each other are, since working together is so familiar

But mainly because some punk kid insulted magical girls as hasbeens and Bakugo got so offended the others all collectively went “yup, that’s green” and then looked at each other in shock

Shoto is super disappointed he didn’t realize that Deku’s Kacchan was Green this whole time! His money had been on Monoma (for all his angry declarations) or Shinsou (for picking a fight with the most dangerous players first)

Inasa is super hurt that Blue is Shoto, but more forgiving of their last interactions

And Camie is super stoked that Purple is Inasa, because its nice to know she made the same friend twice.

She makes everyone give her their numbers and creates a group chat

Shoto invites Deku to the chat, and Bakugo blocks them (he gets added back anyways)

[cynicalrainbows]

Inner Voice Chapter 6

Tw for refs to emotional abuse.

**

 She waits, biting her lip, for them to shuffle uncomfortably and exchange glances, she waits for them to widen their eyes, the ‘Ohhh yes I see it now!’ moment that she’s been dreading since she met them.

What she doesn't expect is for Cathy to give a very unqueenlike snort of laughter.

 ‘Oh my GOD!’

It’s even worse than anything she could have expected from any of them, and fresh tears sting her eyes even though she’s trying desperately hard not to be so pathetic.

Anne swats her hard. ‘Cathy! For fucks sake, don’t be such a bitch!’ She moves closer to Kitty and puts a hand on her arm as Catalina shoots Cathy a look that sobers her quickly. ‘It’s ok Kit, she doesn’t mean it like that-’

‘Oh!’ Cathy’s eyes widen. ‘Oh no I didn’t- Kitty, I wasn’t laughing AT you, I swear, just- you know-’ She waves her hands expansively. ‘Snap!’

‘What?’ She’s so confused but Anna is nodding and even Anne is looking at Cathy like she’s been placated by the explanation.

‘He said exactly the same to me- to the letter, almost,’ Cathy explains. ‘You have a cruel soul, Lady Parr-’ 

Her attempt at imitating Henry is not especially skilled but it somehow makes Kitty want to flinch back all the same, and it’s only the fact that Cathy is substituting her own name that she doesn’t. 

It’s also very odd though- because Cathy’s soul could never ever be described as anything close to cruel, she knows.

 She remembers Cathy spending a whole evening patiently hunting down a spider that had gotten itself lost in the living room, both to reassure Jane and Anne that the threat of it crawling on either of them was entirely neutralised and to save the creature from being trodden on- accidentally or not.

 (Like Anne and Jane, Catalina also dislikes spiders. Unlike them, she is not too afraid to touch them and therefore tends to do so rather firmly and suddenly.) 

She hasn't spoken much to Cathy yet, she’s still awkward when the two of them are alone together, and shy of her in company…..but she knows, perhaps more strongly in this instant than in any other, that Cathy is the very furthest thing from cruel.

‘But you’re-’ It bursts out of her, but then she falters, feeling foolish.

‘What, Kitty?’

‘But you’re- lovely-’ She feels her face get hot as she says it, and she wonders if she's embarrassed Cathy too, but when she risks looking up from her lap, the girl is smiling at her warmly. 

‘You’re very sweet.’ She shrugs. ‘It’s a shame Henry wasn’t as nice as you.’

It feels funny to hear it- the idea that she, in some ways, might have been better than Henry- head of the church, head of the country, her Lord and Master. 

That he was wrong, in one way at least. 

Perhaps even in lots of ways.

‘Did he really….say those things to you?’

Cathy's face changes, she blinks.

‘Of course.’

‘Why of course? What did you do?’

‘I didn’t do anything-’ Cathy shakes her head, almost impatiently. ‘That was just what he was like.’ 

The others are nodding; Anna hums in agreement.

She feels wrong-footed: she’d expected Cathy to list some minor faults that Henry had perhaps judged her overly harshly for. She’d been prepared to explain to Cathy the difference between them.

The others are all looking at her expectantly, as if there’s been some sort of revelation made, but she just doesn’t see it: Henry may have made similar accusations to Cathy in error but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t right about Kitty.

Catalina leans forward.

‘Kitty, it was nothing to do with you at all. Nothing to do with what you were like or not like.’

‘But he said-’ She doesn’t want to repeat it.

‘He said all kinds of things’ Anna shrugs. ‘It doesn't make them true-’

‘But he knew me, he knew what I was like-’

She can’t explain it properly- she can’t explain that Henry really was only confirming what she and everybody else had known all along, that there was something wrong with her. 

(She’d known it, felt it, since childhood, from the moment Mannox looked over at her during their third lesson and smiled hungrily at her, his tongue whetting his lips and a sort of recognition in his eyes: ‘Did you know, you’re very different from the other girls, Katherine…’ At the time, she’d thought it to be a compliment.)

Henry hadn’t been the first to see it, merely the first to put her wrongness into words.

‘And what was he like?’

Anne’s question takes her aback.

‘Henry?’

Anne nods.

 ‘Well….he was the king. He was….clever. And….handsome-’ She’d never found him so, but she’d been reminded often, by everyone it seemed, that the King in his youth had been the golden prince of Europe. ‘And- and-’

‘Was he kind?’

‘What?’

‘Did you know him to be kind, when you knew him?’ Cathy asks gently.

‘I - I don't know.’

‘So….no.’ Anne is more blunt. ‘And was he honest?’

‘Of course.’ How could the King, chosen by God, not be honest?

‘Did you know him to be honest?’ Anna presses. ‘In his dealings with people, in what you saw of how he was?’

‘Yes- I mean no, I mean-’ She falters. ‘Its different for a king-’ She tries to remember what it was that he had told her once, back in the early days when her Uncle was pleased with her and she was England’s Rose Without A Thorn. ‘He needed to be on top of everyone to keep them in line, so sometimes he had to, to test them, to trap them-’

When he had told her, she had nodded like it made sense but now she’s the one saying it, it doesn’t sound so very-

‘He wasn’t kind, Kitty. He wasn’t honest.’ 

‘But even if- even if-’ 

Even if it’s true- that doesn’t mean he wasn’t right about her.

Anne looks at her seriously. ‘Kitty. He was a cruel old man who liked to hurt people. Liked to mess with them- with their minds. He enjoyed it. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice it.’

She thinks back to Henry’s expression when he’d scold servants for things they had or hadn’t done, change his mind in the blink of an eye and then laugh at the confusion.

‘He- he said-’ She can’t remember what he said to explain it, and she’s not even sure now if it’s because she’s forgetting or if it’s because he just never attempted to justify it to her because he saw nothing wrong with it.

‘He said cruel, awful, completely untrue things to you because he wanted to hurt you,’ Anne says flatly.

Cathy nods. ‘It was nothing to do with how you were, with anything you said or did. Don’t you see Kitty, there’s no way you could have been different.’

‘But how do you know?’ She surprises herself that she can’t bring herself to reject the theory outright- as she surely should- but she can’t fully believe it either.

‘Because he said the same things to us- to all of us. Oh, of course he changed it up a bit. He said I was committing the sin of vanity, when I was unhappy that he made mock of my age with his friends.’ 

Catalina says it lightly but there’s the faintest twist to her lips and for a moment, Kitty can see the faintest shadow of a long ago humiliation.

 She would never have been able to imagine the dauntless, self-contained woman (who can be intimidating even while wearing pajamas and fluffy slippers) being hurt by anything before but now, she actually finds herself feeling a flicker of anger, mixed with sympathy. 

Catalina’s so brave, she’s so clever- how dare anyone (even a king) make her feel lesser, Kitty thinks- how dare Henry?

(She’s never really felt anger towards him before- she hasn’t let herself.)

(The sky does not fall in.)

She doesn’t say anything but perhaps her thoughts play too plainly on her face because Catalina reaches out and squeezes her hand, as if they’re friends, as if they’re on the same side.

 It feels a bit strange but there’s a little frisson of solidarity there too, a picture growing in her head of her and Catalina and Cathy and all the others on the same side.

Allies.

In all the lonely months of her marriage, in all the terrifying months of her imprisonment, even as she tortured herself over and over again by thinking of her cousin's fate, of Anna’s abandonment, she never before considered the idea that she and the other wives (just names to her, at that point, apart from Anna) had something in common.

In her own mind, they’d always been separate. Weak.

‘Oh he was excellent at pointing out what was wrong with people-’ Anna breaks in. ‘Never quite enjoyed it so much when people did it to him though, as if we just weren't supposed to notice that he was a-’ 

She visibly bites back her next words when Jane gives her a look and changes tack. ‘He couldn't bear not being seen as he was, it was pathetic really-’

‘He was too used to his golden days’ Anne adds ‘Not that he liked being seen as anything other than perfect even then, he liked having someone to blame things on. Even tiny things, like the general mood dipping, jokes falling flat….He said it was me, that I made the room darker when I came in, spoiled things, put everybody into a bad mood…’

Anne trails off and swallows, then smiles brightly. ‘Everyone said court was duller after I…..left, even historians agree, from what I've read, so it just shows how much he knew!’

‘He said I could make a holiday into a funeral’ Anna adds. ‘He said I was too dull and stupid to enjoy things, or to let other people enjoy them. Of course, I was still learning English so he probably said worse-’

‘He said I was impossible to be around, that I was incapable of just letting things be, that everybody must dread my presence because of it’ Cathy adds. ‘He said I was manipulative, that I forced everybody into having things my way with tricks and lies-’

‘Snap!’ Anne holds up a hand- Cathy high fives her reluctantly and Catalina rolls her eyes with a small smile.

It’s the strangest thing, hearing accusations that she’d considered to be her private shame from the mouths of the others.

 Stranger still is the fact that even though hearing them being said out loud makes her want to flinch and cover her ears, she can also feel the tiniest change, the start of a slow leeching of power from the words, as if part of their strength was from their secrecy….

It’s also odd to hear that the insults that she’d always imagined as being unique to her- carefully chosen to describe her personal failings and flaws- have been flung at all the others too.

‘He really was a twat, wasn’t he?’ Anna’s bluntness draws a laugh from everyone before she makes her face serious again. ‘But just because he said all that stuff- to all of us- it doesn’t make it true.’

She’s earnestly looking at Kitty as she talks, as if she’s willing her to believe her.

‘He was an evil old man-’

‘He was a total mindfuck-’

Jane doesn’t say anything- she hasn’t said a word for a while- and Kitty wonders if it’s because it’s hard for her, to hear her husband- her reportedly adoring husband- being spoken about like this.

She wonders if Jane disagrees- and the thought feels unpleasantly sharp. She finds doesn’t want Jane to agree with her, to support her in defending Henry- she doesn’t want Jane to see bad, shameful qualities in her.

But when she twists around a bit to see her face, Jane is biting her lip, her eyes suddenly a little too shiny. She doesn’t look shocked- she looks like she understands all too well what they’ve all been talking about.

When she notices Kitty watching her, she smiles, a trifle tremulously.

Catalina catches her eye and tilts her head, a silent question, and Jane shakes her own in response and turns to face Kitty.

‘You’re a good person Kitty. You’re sweet and kind and- and you shouldn’t think any differently about yourself, not for a moment. Not for a second.’

It’s like benediction.

Part of her tells her to keep arguing- it whispers that it’s wrong, it’s all wrong, that again, somehow, she’s managed to ruin things and trick them into coddling her, cosseting her, that they’ll surely be cross when they realise…..

And then Anna gives her hand a squeeze as if cutting off the thought spiral, and she blinks. 

No manipulation, no anger being stored up for later. 

Just five very earnest looking women, doing their absolute best to make her feel better, to make her feel reassured. 

To make her feel loved.

She is loved, she realises- and for the first time, the thought doesn't bring the sick feeling of guilt, of knowledge that she’s trapping yet more unwary victims….

She looks round at the others- all on her side, all looking out for her…. 

They all look so sincere. They all look as if they care so much- and maybe they do.

Maybe she can even be worthy of them.

(Maybe, says a new voice, she already is.)

[jlf23tumble]

This one’s for @homosociallyyours and @silverfoxlouis, the former because she’s not going to listen and the latter because they’re listening as we speak! I saw a post earlier that low-key annoyed me because it either misrepresented today’s Stern interview or it skipped right over the fascinating bits, so here are the parts I enjoyed (I won’t waste my time on the shit I hated, lol):

Shrooms and the song-writing process are related to Harry’s anxiety about fucking shit up and needing to get out of his own head; related: coming from a band, if there's something you don't like, you can tell yourself that it wasn’t your choice.

The Rob Stringer talk made me SIDE EYE w/r/t the delay, like, okay, you’re a label boss who’s gonna drop a ton of money, but you’re cool with telling the artist to just relax and take all the time they need, you’ll just pick up the thread when hs2 is completely finished, lolz (I have my own theories about allllll of that, but okay!).

I love Stevie and her coven of nocturnal witches, too, but tell me more about how she hated Harry’s choice of first single (in my heart, she wanted “Golden”) and the song that she thought should have been on the album but isn’t, god, she’s such a yoda, and this entire bit was so much bigger than the coven.

I live in Harry’s soft, breathy “thank you” whenever Howard praises SOTT.

I feel like all the White Eskimo talk is a fic waiting to happen, the whole battle of the bands and them winning studio time and how Harry talks to maybe one of them and there’s a guy who IS STILL IN WHITE ESKIMO I GUESS???? WHAT?

Howard Stern hatesssssssssssss Simon Cowell, so his attempts to get Harry to talk shit were both wonderful and expertly dodged, lmao. 

My only positive comment about the discussion around Harry “putting on some timber” during his bakery (cashier at a baker) years was how much it echoed Louis’s comment about “having extra timber” during one of his recent BTS specials.

Were the guys in One Direction REALLY saying that Matt Cardle was “so fucking good” back in the day? This junior statesman!

Ralph pointed this out when we were talking about the interview, but a lot of the time, Howard just makes statements (as per usual), and Harry says, “Right,” which is a great response because it isn’t really an answer, yet it’s still participatory.

Howard is obsessed with coronavirus, so it was hella interesting to hear Harry’s thoughts about it affecting his tour, when his tour is still so far away (yet another tour is so much closer and in the direct line of fire).

Howard (like me) was pleased that Harry’s band is a mix of women and men and not just dudes (I should take a drink every time Bowie is mentioned, like around Harry’s clothes, how Harry is starting his tour in Philadelphia, the entirety of that convo making me want to see Harry’s face as much as all the xarries want to).

One of the things I hated seeing earlier today was this notion that Howard “forced” Harry to talk about the robbery because he absolutely did not, Harry went into CRAZY levels of detail about it when Howard asked, “When did this happen to you?” (and the way Harry talked about it wasn’t full of trauma or sadness, it bordered on humorous in spots but still serious; it clearly shook him up, but he wasn’t about to let it change his life of feeling free to walk around at night). 

I wanted to hear a lot more about all the musicians hanging out in the ‘70s and being competitive in terms of who was writing the best songs about a particular party vs. the competitiveness of banging out the best single today. Harry’s focus was that if you say you like a song, people think you should collaborate…if two musicians hang out, they're dating or recording (like with Adele, and case in point, Howard immediately asked if they were working on something).

I also loved the bit about acting and how nervous Harry used to be about EVERYTHING because he’s waiting three hours to do three minutes, and he focuses so much on his voice or hands shaking, but this last SNL really helped (in my heart, his “little tweaks” were on the Sara Lee sketch).

I live in the guffaw from Harry whenever Howard unexpectedly hit his funny bone (like Harry saying Anne gave him some money to buy clothes when he first moved to London, and Howard saying it was good return on investment for her, what with the house Harry eventually bought her, etc.).

I absolutely LOVED the entire bit about Ben Winston’s attic (and Ralph’s related takes on it), the fine line of the plausibility yet the doubling down; the word “cocaine” coming out of Harry’s mouth; the parts about dating and keeping your relationship normal/secret, etc., GOLD, ALL OF IT. 

Harry, like Phoenix Mendoza, writes every day, which is part of why he wasn’t really into giving up his phone to muggers because that’s his writing zone of choice for lyrics and poems (the whole robbery clapback here: “for the purposes of not getting mugged again, no, they’re on a different device”).

MITCH SPEAKS!! He was into his Nick Drake phase when Harry met him, but apparently everyone is into the open D (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) chord, so he was a shoe-in. Also, Harry met Adam in 2010??? I’d like more information.

We move back into 1D territory with Zayn’s departure, which is still shittily handled but somewhat more maturedly discussed, and yet another attempt to get Harry to talk shit about Simon, which is getting us closer to what we want/need (Harry’s very real answer to Simon being pissed that Harry didn’t consult him about going solo: “I’m in a band since I was 16, there were five of us, we had a lot of managers, lots of people at the label, and all of these decisions affect your life in a massive way, every decision I made was a group call. I didn't know who I was as an adult,” and a lot of that is paraphrased in spite of the quote marks, but just know that I am screaming LIAM).

There’s a lot of weird downspeak to Sarah and Ny (Adam and Mitch were talked at earlier), but everyone’s very much into Sarah, and rightfully so. I loved the slip up where Howard is trying to figure out if there’s anything romantic going on between Harry and the female band members, and someone says, “Mitch!” so you can hear Howard process Harry and Mitch for a hot sec, cracking the Hitch dream, before we get clarification and Harry gleefully taking us into the story of their love. (Me as the speech Howard gives Sarah and Mitch about how dangerous it is to be in a band together and to have a relationship because if you fuck it up, it’ll be terrible.)

SLEDGEHAMMER NICE.

We get a bit into the “Adore You” video because Howard’s an animal softie, and he loves it (it’s downplayed, but Howard also mentions how fans have put a lot of “thoughts” into the fish), but then we get into talk about how this song is about the girl Harry’s banging (HIS SNICKER HERE) and how the common denominator in all of Harry’s failed relationships is him, huh. All of this relationship talk here makes me want to DIE with how much I love it.

Everyone focuses on the gross talk from Howard about Harry having a lady therapist (this is a long-standing Howard trope), but some good shit disappears between those cracks, like how Harry decided to go into therapy, how he’s keeping his LA therapist instead of having two in different countries, etc., and it’s actually Robin who asks Harry about seeming weak or vulnerable in front of a female therapist, but clearly, he’s not bothered.

I’m so interested in how the shrooms tongue-biting incident cured a speech impediment I wasn’t fully aware of but that is still so impossibly endearing.

Harry himself picks out his opening acts, which we already knew but is always nice to hear confirmed. 

The drug convo in text from earlier today makes it sound like he doesn’t smoke cigs, but to me, it seems like he doesn’t like to smoke weed (an edible king, relatable).

Harry says, “you’ve said it all,” which just makes me think he’s a long-time (or recent) Stern listener, because that’s what Howard says when he’s done/interview’s over.

We think it’s all done but the shouting, and then Robin gets into Harry’s clothing, which is where it gets dicey. Howard (of course) mentions that Bowie wore a skirt and how he himself did full drag on TV (“legs shaved and everything, you should see how gorgeous I am as a woman”), but Harry keeps it very much in the realm of what he wears is what he wears because it’s fun for him, he’s not wearing a school uniform or trying to look cool for his friends, he’s a lot more comfortable with himself: “At shows, I tell people to be who they want to be, I plan on telling my kids that, so I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I’m not wearing it for shock value.” 

Howard says people will assume he’s gay or bi (like Bowie, YEAH, SIGH), but Harry says it’s not performative. This whole bit is fascinating on so many levels, he touches (without saying) on the entire queer-baiting issue, and it’s cringe-y, with Howard saying “I’m not criticizing, wear what you want, I’m a big mess, etc.”

Anyway, they pivot out of that with Howard moving beyond into asking Harry who he wants to badmouth: “Simon?” Harry: “This has been great!” and this entire bit about how Howard wants to know if Harry considers Simon a friend, and Harry saying he doesn’t talk to him gives me life. There’s a lot of gross talk about who Harry has his eye on for his next girlfriend, but I will tell you that I never in my life expected to hear the words SUSAN BOYLE thrown into this convo. 

The interview closes out with Harry getting progressively more silent about the women he should date, saying that he doesn’t talk in interviews about his love life, he talks in music (oh?????), so Taylor Swift comes up, and Harry says it’s flattering to think you’re in a Taylor song because she’s such a great songwriter, which, true, I guess?

Harry hasn’t used a dating app (duh), but Howard thinks he should create one, and…scene. 

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 64

The State Of Our Love-Sick Idiots

Summary: In which Brain and Skuld talk about jealousy. Word Count: 1,719 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

Brain hated the cross house classes with a burning passion. Most of the time, they were very disorganized- you'd have students paired up with those three or more years below them, you hardly ever got to choose who you worked with, and -possibly the worst offender- there was still only one teacher supervising the whole mess. It would probably help if these dates were actually known to the students beforehand, instead of everyone walking into class to find it far more crowded than usual. That was one thing Brain hoped to fix once he graduated and took up Ava's internship offer; cross house classes either needed a major overhaul, or complete removal.

“Alright everyone,” the science teacher, Mr. Rourke called out once everyone was settled, “As you all know by now, we're having a cross house science class today. So, please, members of Leopardus, play nice with the members of Unicornis, and vice versa. Alright? We don't need to see a repeat of the Vesuvius accident.”

A few students (mostly stemming from Leopardus) let out a round of snickers at this. Hearing it made Mr. Rourke shake his head and give an exasperated sigh.

“To prevent some of this,” he went on, “I have assigned you all a partner and a table to sit at. You can not ask for a change of partner or seating.”

“This ought to be good.” Brain mumbled under his breath as he gently tilted his fedora down over his eyes a bit. The murmurs from around him were also coming to this conclusion as well.

Mr. Rourke only waited for most of the murmurs to die down before reading through his list. Brain was only half listening to the teacher, more or less preparing to move from his spot when he was called. Eventually, Mr. Rourke called out, “Skuld Niyati, your partner is Brain Renzhen. The two of you will use station number six.”

Brain smirked. There was no accident that he and Skuld had been paired together. Despite the rather few cross house classes the five have had so far, the teachers seemed to purposely place the Dandelions with each other when the time came. He had a theory that it was done out of spite; from what he understood, Ava had dropped the concept of a student council on the other teachers and headmasters the same day they were formed. Communication was also an issue that needed to be addressed at Daybreak Academy, apparently.

When Brain got over to the right table, Skuld already had their science tools out and was cleaning off the graduated cylinder with a dry cloth.

“Need any help with that?” Brain asked as he took a seat next to her.

Skuld shook her head before moving her notebook over in his direction. “Can you write down the ingredient list and the initial hypothesis? I'm just about done cleaning everything off.”

Brain grinned and gave her a nod before turning his attention to the ingredients she had laid out. In a smooth, careful handwriting he wrote down everything they had; a 10 milliliter graduated cylinder, a bottle of universal indicator, a small container containing sodium carbonate, a bottle of white vinegar, a glass beaker, and a cup filled with what he assumed was water.

“Any ideas on our hypothesis?” he then asked her, using his pencil to tilt his fedora up a bit.

“Based on the fact we're using a universal indicator, we're testing for pH balance.” Skuld told him. “Both the water, vinegar, and sodium carbonate will have a reaction when introduced to the indicator. Theoretically, when the three are mixed they will become a homogeneous mixture, but with the indicator it will likely show their different pH balances instead.”

“Love it when a girl talks science to me.” Brain teased as he wrote down Skuld's theory. “Too bad at this point, you're in little sister territory.”

“I assure you, the feeling's mutual.” Skuld smirked. “Would you like to mix the indicator, water, and vinegar together? I'll do the stuff in the beaker.”

“A dangerous job, but I think I can manage it.”

Skuld let out a bemused snort of her own before opening up the sodium carbonate jar. Brain's grin did not waver as he took the universal indicator and an eyedropper to start filling up the graduated cylinder.

“So,” the young man mused as he mentally counted out 15 drops of the indicator, “How's our love-sick leader doing when he's not swapping air with his girlfriend?”

“They don't 'swap air' as often as you think they do, first of all.” she told him, a certain edge to her voice indicating that he needed to watch what he was saying. “Second, he's slowly coming off that honeymoon high. It's still a pain in the butt to get him to focus when Anora's in the room though.”

“Do you not have any jealousy toward them?” Brain continued to probe “Especially Ephemer? Weren't you two an item for a hot second two years ago?”

Skuld snorted. “Two years ago.” she reiterated. “Besides, it was totally one-sided. Ephemer overcompensated a lot just because he thought that's what you're supposed to do when you date.”

“Weren't you mad when he said he wanted to cut it off, though?” Brain continued to press. “There's no way you two just walked out of that all sunshine and rainbows and with no hard feelings.”

“Sure.” she agreed with a shrug. “But seeing how he reacts just when Anora breathes is enough for me to realize that he didn't love me like that. And that's fine; it was something new for both of us.”

“It can't be that easy.”

Skuld set her beaker down for a moment to give Brain a long, curious look. He stared right back at her until she resumed her business. In a voice that was almost mocking, she asked him, “Are you jealous?”

Brain paused. He turned to Skuld with a raised eyebrow and a darkened glare.

“And what, Miss Niyati, do I have to be jealous over?” he questioned, his voice possibly just as dark as the look he was giving her. But Skuld didn't answer him- instead giving a small roll of her shoulder before returning to their experiment. Brain glared at her for a bit longer before continuing his mission as well; now using a separate eyedropper to add three drops of vinegar to the indicator and water mix.

It took a bit of stirring for the solution to become a light red. Brain made note of the change on the notebook. Skuld took the notebook not long after and wrote down that her solution was still clear.

“Now we just need to combine the mixtures into the cylinder.” Brain said out loud as he looked back over the instructions. “You want me to do it, or do you want to?”

“I can.” Skuld offered. “I think I have a clean eyedropper over here anyway.”

Brain nodded as he watched her get the eyedropper and gave it a tentative wipe down with a dry cloth.

“What did you ever see in Ephemer?” Brain asked as Skuld filled an eyedropper with the sodium carbonate solution. His only answer at first was a small shrug before she squeezed the dropper's contents into the graduated cylinder.

“He was my friend.” she told him. “But if I had to, I'd almost date him again. I liked having someone kind and friendly as a partner- maybe even a bit of harmless unpredictability thrown in for good mix.”

“So you do still love him?”

“I didn't say that.” she informed him- sounding more like she was correcting him. “I'm just saying that he's the type of guy I'd go for again.”

Brain only half registered that the sodium carbonate solution became a deep purple in the vinegar and indicator mix- Skuld was the first to react when she pulled the notebook toward her to write down the changes. She picked up the cylinder and gently swirled it a bit to give it a little agitation for good measure. Now all the duo could do was wait for the solution to settle, creating a rainbow in the graduated cylinder.

Skuld smiled at the result before casually turning to Brain.

“You know,” she mused, placing her hand under her chin, “She does like you.”

“And that doesn't mean I have to like her.” came the immediate, almost automatic, reply.

“Let me rephrase that,” the young woman clarified as she placed both hands on the table and carefully straightened her back, “She respects you. Has since the trip back from the beach. Thing is, she won't tell us why.”

“She's a selective mute, Skuld; she barely tells anyone anything.”

“Would you just listen?” she asked him, adding in an impatient huff to show her point. “Whether you like her or not, she likes you. The girl doesn't know anyone besides us, the headmasters, and her study group. It takes her a very long time to get out of this comfort zone bubble she's created. But, since she seems to have taken a shine to you, don't be too surprised when she tries to talk to you. If she does, hear her out. What's the worse that could happen?”

Brain looked Skuld over, unsure on whether he should be amused by her suggestion or annoyed.

“So I take it Ephemer isn't the type to get jealous?” he wondered. At this, Skuld immediately let out an unflattering snort.

“Of course he is!” she even snickered. “But that shouldn't stop her from broadening her horizons. Look, she may never talk to you, but if she does, all I ask is for you to hear her out. She's a good kid and with or without Ephemer she needs to grow a bit more. I trust you to help her with that, that's all.”

For a long time, Brain didn't know how to take this information. So Skuld wanted him to listen to Anora? What was that supposed to mean? How could Skuld tell who Anora liked or didn't like when they were barely friends themselves? A thoughtful sigh escaped Brain's lips before deciding to shrug it off. Anora was an odd one, that's for sure, and he was never going to get roped up in her business. Ever.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 30

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.1k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: idk, i feel like its a bad excuse for a chapter. especially the ending. im sorry for the bad writing.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 30 : His chapter

NIALL

I had been in denial for so long that when reality hit me, it hit me hard. After the conversation with Louis, I went back home and locked myself in for a few days. I didn't try to call anyone, and didn't answer the door or my phone either. I needed time to think and I ended up watching comedy movies for days without really focusing on any of them. It was crazy to always think about the same person, to wonder what they're doing or what they would do or say if they were here... but it was happening to me. It had never happened to me before.

I would spend hours laying in bed with my eyes open, thinking about the conversations Olivia and I could have and have had before. So many things became obvious now that I knew she had feelings for me, so many of her words or actions made so much sense now... and some of mine, too.

I had thought about her sexually for a few weeks now but it never crossed my mind that it could be love. Not because it was not, but because it was easier for me to believe it was lust.

I started thinking about so many things we went through, so many things we lived together, so many times we were there for each other. I didn't have that many memories with anyone else and it's only when I realized that I wanted all my memories to include her that it hit me. I loved her. I was in love with her.

Why did it take me so long to realize that? Why did it take her so long to admit her feelings to me? She said she had always loved me and I couldn't even begin to guess how she must have felt all these years.

My reaction to her confession was pathetic. It was fear and when I admitted that to myself, I started writing. At first, it was only a bunch of words thrown on a napkin at a bar but with time spent on my piano, it became something that was potentially worth turning into a real song. I had never written a song that deep in such a short period of time and when I decided it was done, I was not sure what to do with it.

I was not proud to say I ended up in a bar a few times, searching for a girl to meet and bring home but every time I was close to do it, I would run away. There was a reason why I couldn't have sex with Maya and the same reason stopped me from banging a random girl I didn't know... and I missed that reason. I fucking missed her.

I had never been as nervous as I was then when I saw her walking behind Louis and sitting at the table. Seeing her after two weeks without any contact with her was refreshing. She looked exactly the same, she looked exactly like the girl I was in love with. There was nothing I wanted more than find a way to apologize to her, to prove her that I was sorry and that my feelings were real. I was not the type who would display or expose my feelings but I knew that this time, I had to go big, if only because I felt like I owed her. If paps and online articles wanted to talk about it and post pictures, then whatever. She was more important.

I didn't care about everyone who stood up when I was done singing, I didn't care about the clapping and the cheering. I was only looking at her and she was crying. She walked up to me and I cupped her face, wiping her tears with my thumbs. I don't know how many times and for how long I kissed her but I didn't want to stop. It was completely different than the first kiss we shared when we were teens. In fact, it was completely different than any other kiss I've ever had. Was that too cheesy to say? She tasted amazing, a mix of expensive beer and candies, and I couldn't believe I had waited that long to discover that taste.

"I love you." I whispered against her mouth, deepening the kiss very slowly, making sure I would feel everything. "You still love me, yea?"

“Don’t be stupid.” she replied, just as low. “I always have and I always will.”

"Me too. I always have, and I always will." I answered, my grip tightening on her jaw. "I was just.. a fucking idiot. And a blind one at that. I hope you can forgive me."

She suddenly seemed taller and I noticed she got on her tiptoes, her hands moving from my wrists to my hands on her cheeks. My eyes opened and her lips curled into a fond smile as my gaze traveled on her face.

"That song forgave everything."

Her words made me smile and I suddenly relaxed, realizing that I was still scared. I was scared she had given up on me, that she didn't trust me.. that she didn't love me anymore. She could have changed her mind, she could have given up on us, I could have lost her... but she was still there, even after all the pain I put her through, she was there, ready to give me an other chance that I wasn't sure I deserved.

"I promise I'll write you many, many more."

Once again, I brought my lips back on hers, wondering if it would always be like this, wondering if I would get addicted to the taste of her mouth, or if maybe I already was.

"Okay, okay guys, it's time to drink."

I groaned in her mouth when I heard Louis' voice and moved away slightly before sighing.

"Fuckin' Tommo." I mumbled with a grimace before my eyes fluttered open again.

Olivia laughed and got back down on her feet but when she turned around to go join our friends, I found her hand quickly and squeezed her fingers. It was not the first time we held hands but it felt like it because this gesture meant more than it ever did before.

"Livi, hey." Louis said, pushing her mug on the table. "Aren't you glad you spent those five minutes on your hair now?"

She started laughing and I frowned with a smile at the inside joke I didn't get. I turned to Louis and raised my eyebrows as a question, making him grin.

"It's nothing, Neil, but you should have seen your girlfriend's hair when I knocked at her door." Louis explained, making my heart jump in my chest. "Priceless. And I said that 'cus no one would have paid for that."

My eyes found Olivia's and I didn't have to say anything. The fact that she was now my girlfriend had hit both of us at the same time and I was blissful... like intoxicated by the realization.

"You should see her when she just woke up." I pointed out, sending Liv a smirk and finally turning back to Louis. "A real mess."

"Really?" he replied with a thick accent, glancing at her. "I bet you can't wait to find out what her sex hair looks like."

I didn't expect that answer and choked slightly on my beer. Louis laughed, slapping my shoulder in a friendly manner, and left to get something else to drink. I finally sat next to Olivia and leaned my elbows on the table, turning my head to look at her.

"Are you okay with that?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"With what?" she frowned with an amused smile. "You and Louis laughing at my hair?"

"No," I chuckled. "With being my girlfriend."

Her smile turned into a shy one and she looked down chuckling sadly and shaking her head.

"Niall, being your girlfriend is what i've always wanted." she explained low.

I used two fingers to move her chin up and make her look in my eyes. She looked just as vulnerable as she seemed when she admitted her feelings to me but this time, I was not going to run away. My eyes roamed on her face and I licked my lips.

"I'm so sorry I've hurt you all these years." I apologized in a whisper. "I love you, real love."

Her smile came back, more gentle, fond and endearing than ever, and my heart twisted in my chest. I didn't want to ever hurt her anymore and I was going to do anything I could to keep her happy.

"I think we should leave, it's getting late." I proposed when I realized she wouldn't answer.

She simply nodded and we said our goodbyes, thanking out friends for their support and finally getting out of the too crowded bar. Instinctively, I gripped her fingers and pulled her closer, moving my arm up and making her twirl around. She giggled like a kid and it made me grin. She looked up in my eyes and I knew I didn't have to say anything. We reached my car and I opened the door for her but she tilted her head and frowned.

"Are you sure you're okay to drive?" she asked, worry in her voice.

"Yea, no problem, I only drank a beer." I answered with a shrug.

She sat in the car and closed the door as I did the same but when I glanced at her, she had her eyebrows raised and a small smile on her lips. I loved her facial expressions, I always have. She was the funniest person I knew.

"What?" I asked with a smile too.

"You only had one beer?" she questioned. "One?"

This time, I chuckled and raised one of my shoulders, bringing my head closer before shaking it. I knew it was unusual for me and i couldn't blame her for being surprised.

"Yes, one." I repeated with an other chuckle. "I wanted to be sober for the song but when it was over I drank one. So yea, it was the only one."

She smiled fondly at me again and I just knew I was going to get that look very often from now on. Perhaps she looked at me that way a lot, I just never really noticed before. Or wanted to notice.

"Thank you."

"And also, I couldn't let you clumsy ass drive my new car." I joked as she hit my arm lightly, making me laugh even more.

I started the car and we drove around town in silence. The night was cold and it started snowing, bringing a magical vibe to the moment and although I knew she was not a fan of winter, I could see the happiness in her eyes as she watched the snow fall slowly. It's only when we were close to my house that I felt her hand on my thigh. I thought i'd stiffen at her touch but it was the complete opposite : it relaxed me in a way I couldn't explain, not even to myself.

We got out of the car and walked to the front door still not talking and I closed the door behind us. I knew I didn't have to explain anything, I just glanced at her and smiled.

"Grab a few blankets, i'll join you."

She just nodded and I reached the kitchen to make some tea, adding a cloud of milk in both and going through the sliding door of my kitchen. She was sitting on the small bench, staring up, her shoulders covered with a blanket and when I handed her her favorite mug, she turned to me and smiled. I sat next to her and grabbed a part of the blanket to cover my shoulder too and put the beanie she handed me on. We stared up in silence, just watching the snowflakes fall and cover the ground, and in that moment, everything was perfect.

"So everyone was right." I broke the silence, turning to look at her. "About us being more than just best friends. It was... written in the stars, or something cheesy like that?"

I raised my eyebrows with a small smile and she shrugged, tilting her head. She looked pretty with one of my beanies covering her head and an old scarf I hadn't worn in years around her neck, all wrapped up in blankets as she held her tea with both hands. In fact, she was breathtaking.

"No it was just..." she shrugged in a cute way and looked away before looking back at me. "Obvious."

I bent down close to her and reached her lips with mine, and it made my heart jump in my chest. It was so weird to do that yet it felt natural. I saw her close her eyes just as I closed mine and the feeling of her mouth against mine made me feel better than I thought. I hadn't felt like that when I kissed Maya or Heidi or any of the other girls I kissed before. This feeling was different and better. I couldn't lie to myself, it was much better, so much better.

"I see it too." I murmured, my lips brushing against hers as I talked. "It really is obvious now."

                                                      ---

I let her borrow some of my clothes to sleep even if we both knew she had left some of hers in my drawers. She had always preferred wearing my clothes and I had always enjoyed watching her wear them. Perhaps it was a bit possessive but the feeling of seeing her in Harry's clothes was horrible and I never got used to it.

"Tired?" I asked, putting my shirt on and turning to her.

"Not really." she shrugged, making me smile.

"Come here, I want to hug you."

It was the kind of things I could have said even before we started dating but once again, it meant so much more now that she was my girlfriend.

"Yea?"

"Yea.

"Catch me, then!"

She started running, taking me by surprise and passing right by me quickly. She was already in the hall when I started running after her, reaching my arm in front of me. My fingertips brushed against her arm and she squealed, making me laugh. She jumped on my couch and ran on it and I got suddenly scared she'd fall down but she jumped back on the floor and ran back where she came from. I ran quicker and bent down slightly, wrapping my arm around her waist and pushing her in my room before throwing her on the bed. I moved on top of her, straddling her waist and holding her wrists above her head as we were both panting.

"Caught ya." I whispered with a smirk.

"You did." she admitted just as low, licking her lips.

My gaze moved to her mouth and I dipped my head down again to kiss her. My grip on her wrists loosened but she didn't move. She just answered my kiss, smiling the whole time.

The last time I ran after her and tackled her down was because she teased me, saying only crazy girls wanted to kiss me. Now, she was the one I was kissing and she didn't seem to hate it. Perhaps, the girls who want to kiss me aren't all crazy, but I was not going to mention that. We had also ended up exactly in this position and it was right after that sex dream I had.

"I really, really want to touch you." I whispered in-between kisses.

She moved her arms and I let her, letting go of her wrists. Her hands ran on my shoulders and down my arms, but I kept kissing her for a few seconds before moving slightly away. I stared in her eyes and she bite her bottom lip gently. I had noticed that habit and i loved it.

"Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

I felt my heart sink in my chest but I smiled and nodded lightly. "Okay."

I kissed her softly one last time and got off of her to turn the lights off in the house. When I got back in my room, she was laying under the blankets, looking at the ceiling. I turned the light off too and joined her, laying on my back and staring up, too.

I knew I could wait for us to have sex and I knew it was not something urgent, even if I really wanted her, but I felt like she was a bit scared, and so was I, if only because I was not sure what she liked and what she didn't like.

"How do you feel?" I just wondered in a gentle tone.

"Better now." she whispered.

Silence again. Not an awkward silence, no. A light and warm silence that we both enjoyed.

"Did you write that song for me?" she finally asked after a while.

I knew this question had been burning her lips since our first kiss at the bar and I sort of anticipated it. I smiled, still looking at the ceiling, and brought my hands behind my head.

"Yes, I wrote it for you." I confessed, turning my head her way. "Only you."

We stopped talking again as we both tried to process what was happening between us. Now that we were laying together in the dark the way we always are, it felt real and true and once again, it hit me hard.

"You were wrong, you know?" I pointed out, still staring at her, now seeing her very well in the darkness of the room.

"About what?" she asked in a murmur, licking her lips.

I looked down at her mouth, trying not to focus too much on kissing her again and finally looked up in her eyes.

"The One Direction song that represents us the most is not Infinity, it's probably Home."

She turned her body my way and smiled, bringing her hand to my cheek. I moved my body to face her too and put my hand on her waist, feeling her fingertips brush on my skin softly.

"And Drag Me Down? Maybe?"

She smiled and I did the same.

"A bit of End Of The Day?"

"What A Feeling." she added, making both our smiles grow.

"Fireproof."

"Everything About You."

I frowned, an amused smile still on my lips, and laughed.

"What? Could you have picked an even older song or what?"

We both burst into laughter and I pulled her closer to me. She smelled good and she looked happy. Just seeing her like that made me feel happy too.

"I thought you hated that album." I pointed out, raising my eyebrows as she shook her head.

"No, it's just my least favorite because you don't sing enough." she explained, moving her chin slightly up to look in my eyes. I could feel her breath on my skin and it made me want to kiss her. Again. "I don't hate anything you do. Except... when you date extra gorgeous models. That, I really hate."

"Says the girl who dated my sex symbol of a bandmate."

She laughed lightly and the sound was incredible. Was that what it felt like to be in love? To think everything the other person does is endearing, sweet, incredible... to feel something explode in your stomach every single time you look at them... Was that what I was blessed to feel ever single day for the rest of my life?

"The truth is... The first time I kissed Maya, it was right after you kissed Harry." I had realized that a few days after Liv had admitted her feelings for me and it had been a shock. All these reactions I couldn't explain now made so much sense. "I was scared, and lost and... and I was jealous, Olivia. I was so fucking jealous."

I didn't expect it but she suddenly crushed her mouth against mine, one of her hands pressing on my cheek as her lips kissed me avidly. Her tongue slipped in my mouth and I finally answered the kiss, pulling her as close as I could and squeezing her body against mine. It was not a gentle kiss, it was rough and passionate and I was a bit scared of how turned on it would make me, especially after she said she wanted to wait before we did anything sexual. She slowed the kiss after a while and I groaned low in her mouth before she pulled away.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, her fingertips slide down my neck.

"Don't be." I  answered in a low tone too. "I'm the one who should be sorry. For everything. Just... you should stop kissing me like that, it makes me want... more."

She laughed and her eyes roamed on my face as she let one of her hand slip down my chest. Her gaze never left mine but her smile fell and she started nibbling on her bottom lip. I could feel my heart throb hard in my chest and remained motionless, just looking at her and telling myself how much I loved her.

"I never said anything about not touching you." she just replied as she moved her hand on my cock over my sweatpants. "I mean, if you want me to."

"You don't have to ask." I reached for her hand and pressed it harder against my dick. "I always want you to touch me."

Her smile came back and I fought against the urge I had to kiss her. Her hand rubbed on me slowly but it's only when she slid it in my pants that I held my breath, focusing on the way her fingers wrapped around my cock. She took it out slowly and I realized how hard I was, even after only a few seconds of her touch. She started stroking me gently and I let out a groan, my eyes fluttering as I tried to keep them open. Her lips parted at the same time then mine when she jerked me off quicker and i whispered a curse word. Her thumb rubbing steadily on my tip brought me closer to my orgasm but it's only when her other hand slipped on my balls that I let out a moan.

"That time I fingered you." I whispered without thinking. "It turned me on so bad I came in my pants."

I watched the expression of slight surprise on her face and her movements faltered for a few seconds before her lips reached mine again, this time a bit softer. I groaned again in her mouth when one of her fingers slid right under my tip and I bit her bottom lip maybe a bit too hard.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard, petal."

I could swear I felt her shiver next to me and I couldn't decide what turned me on more : her or what she was doing. With an other curse word, I felt an orgasm spread inside me and gripped the sheets of the bed hard as I came, my lips rubbing against hers with every jerk of my body. When I opened my eyes again, she was staring at me with a small smile and I grinned back at her. I couldn't remember the last time I didn't have to guide a girl on what to do to make me cum when it came to handjobs.

"I fucking love you." I breathed out with a chuckle, making her lips curl more.

"I fucking love you too." she repeated after about a minute.

We stayed in silence, just looking at each other, for a very long time until she yawned and I laughed. She looked adorable, why didn't I notice that before?

"I'll be right back."

I nodded and waited for her as she went to the bathroom while I pulled my pants back up and tried to lay down comfortably in bed. I was tired too but there was no way I would fall asleep without her in bed with me. I felt myself start smiling as soon as she entered the room again and although I thought it was a bit pathetic, I really didn't care.

"You're gonna hold me all night?" she wondered, her eyebrows raised, as I felt the warmth of her body close to mine.

I was never going to stop loving this girl. I could feel it in my bones, in every fiber of my being. She was my person, and I was a fucking idiot for not realizing it before.

"Do I ever not?"

[ubdrama]

Quarantine BL series marathon

Click titles for links to official free youtube channels with eng subs.

2gether the series - Ongoing. Comedy/Romance. Thai. Fake boyfriends to lovers.

Tine, a college student, gets a love letter from another boy named Green who refuses to leave him alone despite being told off, so Tine convinces the popular guy Sarawat to pretend they are lovers to make Green lose interest.

1 main couple and 2 possible side couples. 

Tine loves a real band named Scrubb which is heavily featured in the show.

Boys with guitars who sing love songs to their crushes uwu!

Two brothers, neither seems to like girls, this family line will decline. 

Green is supposed to be annoying but he’s just funny and I missed him when he wasn’t on screen.

Adorable couple. 

Sarawat loves Tine’s boobs. 

Good chemistry between the cast. 

Fun friends you wanna hang out with. 

Generally low angst. 

One questionable side character that mistreats his boyfriend. 

Another annoying character with bad eyebrows that is trying to ruin things for everyone. 

Few kisses and cuddles. 

A very good show for BL newbies! 

8/10. 

My Engineer - Ongoing. Comedy/Romance. Thai. Slice of life with a sprinkle of crack. 

Bohn, an engineer student, saves Duen, a medical student, from getting eaten by a big lizard (!). Duen accidentally punches Bohn as thank you and so Bohn gets revenge by making Duen buy him roses every day for a month and bring them to campus. 

1 main couple, 2 possible side couples and 1 one-sided angsty couple (?).  

Funny! 

Likable female side character.

Surprisingly fresh perspective on the dynamics of gay couples even if some clichés are repeated. 

Jealous Bohn is waaaay too annoyingly jealous though. 

Main couple is being overshadowed by side couple RamKing!!!!! Quiet dog boy loves smart student who takes care of plants UWU!!!! 

One of the character is dubbed because apparently his thai wasn’t good enough?

All couples get their time in the spotlight.  

Cute and funny baby siblings. 

Everyone is filthy rich. 

Some angst. 

No kisses at all so far. 

7/10. 

Theory of love - completed. Drama/Angst. Thai. Slice of life. 

Third, a film student, is in love with toxic friend and womanizer Khai who mistreats him and takes advantage of his kindness. After many trials Third decides to give up on Khai, but then Khai starts to realize the truth about himself.

1 main couple, 1 side couple and 1 hetero couple; A mix of gay, bi and straight. 

The awakening of bisexual boys. 

Fresh and realistic perspective on love in a BL show, all the good and all the bad. 

They use a lot of movie references and the film major is very much incorporated in the actual show, not just a side-note of them studying it. Loved that! 

The first half of the show is spent basically hating Khai’s guts. 

Good friends that support main characters.

One straight couple that isn’t annoying.

But all other females are sadly not fun. 

Many tears.

Happy end, for some. 

There are kisses but not all of them sweet. 

Good show if you want something darker and not fluffy. 

8/10.

The untamed - completed. Drama/Adventure/Historical. Chinese. Soul mates! This is technically “bromance” but is based on a BL novel and the series hint strongly at there being more than just friendship between the characters. 

16 years ago, Wei WuXian is presumed to be killed during a battle by those who deemed him evil and an enemy for using the dark arts. He comes back to life after being summoned mysteriously and has to find out why he was summoned and deal with his past. He meets Lan WangJi, a young man he studied with and befriended, and together they fight and unravel the secrets of the past and the present. 

That summary is very very brief, the actual plot is more than that. It’s all about family, power struggles, war, black magic, zombies and two boys being very much in love. 

This show is hyped and for good reason.

First episode is confusing!! But in ep 2 the flashback begins and everything makes sense.

A million names to keep track of. 1 character can have like five different names depending on who is talking to them... 

Plot!

The cast is great, good acting.

The scenery, wow!

Likable female characters!!

Badass females!!

Messed up villains with tragic pasts and psychotic tendencies. 

Boys in flow-y clothes and with long hair!!!

China is afraid of The Gay™ but the producers managed to get away with so much blatant flirting it’s insane. 

WWX and LWJ are m a r r i e d. Their love is so pure and beautiful I just can’t!!!! 

The boys communicate with music. Their them song is continuously played and they play it for each other and when they miss one another and omg so romantic!!

WWX has a zombie puppet side-kick that is badass and is a lovable cinnamon roll!! PROTECT! 

The brother Jiang Cheng being a whole mood with all his eye-rolls. Love this guy, despite his evident flaws. Also, that jaw?! Who needs a blade when you can cut a b**ch with that! 

50 episodes but so worth it.

There is also an animated series, manhua, audio drama and novel available. 

No kisses but that’s ok. 

10/10.

[paladin-lynx]

Human SQUIPtober 2019, Day 10: Leaves

Human SQUIPtober 2019 Day 10: Leaves

Ships Involved: RiverWay (Two River SQUIP [River] x Broadway SQUIP [Ly])

Setting: AU where River and Ly somehow both became human after being SQUIPs for their respective Jeremys, and they now live together. They don’t quite understand how they can both exist, but it isn’t worth questioning it.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Author’s Notes: (I was almost on time with this one!) I’m back! Here’s a fluffier piece for this pair. Enjoy!

“Come on, Riv, you’re so slow! And you wonder why I call you an old man!”

River rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets despite the fact that just a few years ago, he would’ve chided Jeremy for doing the same thing. Ly had convinced him that they should take advantage of the weather and take a stroll through the park. It was the middle of autumn, right at that perfect midway point between hot and cold where you needed a jacket, but nothing overly bulky or uncomfortable. River was wearing a light coat and scarf – the latter was more for the look than the practicality, sue him – while Ly ran ahead of him in a sweatshirt and beanie.

River absolutely loathed how adorable he looked.

Sometimes he found it unbelievable that they were, in a way, the same person, just different versions. People often mocked the theory of multiple universes where an entity could be one thing in one universe and the complete opposite in another. To be honest, River himself, with his constant overthinking and overanalyzing, would probably still be one of those people if it hadn’t been for the sudden appearance of the embodiment of the 3.0 Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor Patch at his doorstep, claiming to have been in the head of a completely different Jeremy Heere in a completely different Middleborough High.

“You specifically said you wanted to take a stroll, love,” River called after his companion, still keeping his leisurely pace. It was, in fact, a nice day and he was going to take the time to appreciate the fall scenery. This was one of his favorite times of year. Part of him wondered if it was because he’d been activated during this season, so it was one of the first things he got to experience through Jeremy’s eyes. The world was a ridiculous place, but it did have its nice aspects.

Ly finally slowed down so that River could catch up, turning to him with that stupid cheeky grin of his. “I can’t help getting excited. There’s so much to see and do out here, Riv. Stop being so dull.”

River blinked. That was right. This was Ly’s first autumn as a human, so of course he was going to be bouncing all over the place, just like he did with everything else he was experiencing for the first time as a human. River was half-convinced that the first time Ly had hooked up with someone – because of course he had done that, with his ‘cool party boy’ attitude – he’d probably finished early solely from how overwhelming all of the sensations were. River almost wanted to know so he could mock him for it, but at the same time, no thank you.

Even with the epiphany about Ly’s behavior, River still huffed. “You won’t be able to appreciate it if you’re just running past all of it.”

Ly sighed, readjusting his beanie. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll take it easy a bit.”

River couldn’t help a little smile, continuing along the path they were walking. “Come on, then.”

Ly walked beside him and gazed all around them. There was indeed a lot to take in. The trees had lost a lot of their leaves but weren’t completely bare yet. Brown, orange, and golden debris blazed against the green grass, and there was a slight nip in the breeze that whisked past that had River shrinking down into his coat for a brief moment, nuzzling his nose into his scarf. But just as quickly, the late afternoon sun melted away the chill.

It wasn’t as if Ly had been the only one with this idea. They weren’t alone at the park. There were plenty of people out. Families exploring the trails, people walking their dogs or letting them run free and frolic about, couples huddling together under the trees, and a plethora of others. River was pretty sure he spotted a group of teenagers decked out in costumes and armor rushing past at one point, weaving through the trees as they chased each other. He would bet they were LARPers. Judging by their outfits, from the glimpses he’d caught, it was some sort of fantasy adventure, like in Dungeons & Dragons.

Michael had once tried to get Jeremy to join one of his online D&D campaigns. Jeremy had refused because it was bad enough interacting with people he did know; he would be a mess with people he didn’t know and in a game that most of them had probably been playing for years that he had no idea about. Plus, that game involved math, and Jeremy despised math in all forms.

River furrowed his eyebrows at the thought, hurriedly shaking it away. He was here now. Jeremy and Michael were off living their best lives. Maybe Jeremy had joined the game after all. He’d like it. Christine would, too, at least the role-playing aspect.

River was having a difficult time pulling himself out of his own head, as he often did, but as always he was snapped back to reality by Ly’s voice: “Oh! Hello!”

He blinked and saw Ly kneeling down as a pair of dogs, tongues lolling from their mouths, bounded over to him. One was larger with curly golden fur while the other, which struggled a bit to keep up, was shorter and tubbier with darker brown fur, although River spotted some lighter markings on its belly. River guessed that the bigger one was a golden retriever and poodle mix – a goldendoodle, if he remembered currently – based on the wavy fur and the body shape. The smaller one took him a moment longer, unsure at first if it was a Boston terrier or a French bulldog, although he realized after a moment that it was too wide to be a Boston terrier.

Ly laughed as the goldendoodle eagerly lapped at his face and the bulldog jumped up to try and do the same. River watched from a safe few feet away, letting Ly have his moment, although after a moment the bulldog seemed to give up and decided to pick a new target, waddling over to River’s feet and giving him what almost looked like an open-mouthed smile.

River couldn’t help it as he chuckled and crouched down, offering the bulldog a few pats on the head, watching as it tried to lick his wrist. “Hello there, friend,” he greeted softly.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” River looked up to see a young woman, no older than twenty-five, jogging over to them with a bewildered look on her face. “They don’t normally run off like that, I guess they just got a bit too excited…” She leaned down to clip a leash to the goldendoodle’s collar, but Ly waved her away, grinning widely.

“It’s alright. We’re always happy to make a few new friends.” He peeked over at River. “Right, River?”

River, not wanting to be improper in front of a stranger, sighed softly, ruffling the bulldog’s ears as he gave the woman a polite smile. “It’s no trouble. I’m glad they stopped to see us instead of just booking it away from you.”

The woman laughed softly, and despite Ly’s insistence, she did clip the leashes onto the two dogs’ collars, just in case. “I know they would never hurt anyone, but you never know who might get scared, or annoyed.”

“Can I ask what their names are?” Ly questioned. River would never cease to be amazed at how quickly Ly could go from being a complete child to civil and well-mannered.

The woman smiled, pointing to the goldendoodle. “She’s Spaghetti”—she then pointed to the bulldog—“and he’s Meatball.”

Ly turned to River again, stars shimmering in his eyes as he grinned like an idiot. River wanted to tease him, but he felt his own heart melt at the woman’s words. He smiled softly down at Meatball, petting him again. “What cute names.”

“Thank you. I hate to pull them away from you, but I really do have to go…”

Ly leaned over to plant a little kiss on the top of Spaghetti’s head before getting to his feet. “Thank you for your time.”

She smiled and gave a little tug on the leashes, and the dogs trotted back over to her. They seemed well-trained, River thought to himself. He wondered what had caused them to just run away like they had. Were River and Ly that interesting? Or perhaps the two dogs had that strange sixth sense animals seemed to have and knew that something was off about them?

“Thank you for keeping them entertained.” The woman gave another smile and waved as she turned to lead the dogs away. “Have a nice day!”

“You too!” River and Ly called at the same time, exchanging a glance. Ly smirked and the moment was over, and River – as usual – turned away with a roll of his eyes. Soon enough, they were continuing on.

“Maybe we should get a pet,” Ly hummed.

River gave him a pointed look. “It’s enough work just looking after you.”

Ly laughed. “Oh, so I’m your pet now, am I?”

River blinked a few times before his cheeks warmed and he hid behind his scarf, looking away. “Why must you bring everything back to sex like a miscreant?”

“Everything comes from sex, dear River. In fact—”

“Do. Not. Finish that statement,” River practically growled.

Ly seemed to consider it for a moment before simply smiling and clasping his hands behind his back, walking ahead and humming under his breath. River sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose, before following.

They walked in rather comfortable silence for a little while. It seemed they were both finally taking the chance to actually take in the setting around them and just enjoy the splendor that the park had to offer. Maybe Spaghetti, Meatball, and that young woman’s friendly attitude had put them in a better temperament. Maybe they could actually have a peaceful rest of their day here.

“River, River, look!”

Or not.

River raised an eyebrow as Ly pointed to a bettered tended-to area of the park. The fallen leaves were in large, neat piles underneath their trees. “What?”

“What do you mean, what?” Ly huffed. “The leaves!”

“Yes, what about them?”

Ly groaned, rolling his eyes. River furrowed his eyebrows before he suddenly realized what Ly was planning. “Ly,” he warned.

Ly turned to him with a grin before sprinting away, toward the piles. River’s eyes widened as he chased after him. “Ly, someone probably spent all day raking th—!”

He winced, slowing to a stop as Ly dove straight into the pile, face-first. He was laughing as the leaves dipped under him, some flying up only to float back down on top of him. Of course, River had memories from Jeremy’s brain of the boy running around with Michael when they were littler – and maybe not so little, too – and jumping into the piles of freshly raked leaves, much to the chagrin of an exhausted Mr. Heere. Even so, even with the joy he knew the boys had felt from the silly antic, River sighed, grimacing slightly as he walked over closer to the pile. “Are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly sighed out, flipping to lay on his back in the leaf-pile, arms and legs splayed out as he closed his eyes. He looked about ready to go to sleep.

“Come on, Ly, do you have any idea what could be in those leaves? Dirt and bugs and debris and—”

River stopped when he saw Ly had opened an eye and was smirking at him. Once again, with how well they knew one another, River knew what he was planning. He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you goddamn dare.”

“Or what, Riv?” Ly purred, pushing himself up to sit.

River took a step back, but Ly was faster, grabbing onto River’s arms in a surprisingly strong grip and letting himself fall back into the pile. “Ly—!” River started, only to let out a horribly undignified shriek as he lost his balance and tumbled forward, falling into the leaves and also mostly on top of Ly.

With their combined weight, they only sank further into the pile and River found himself surrounded on all sides by leaves. It was warmer than he expected, and he could begin to understand how Ly had looked so comfortable before. However, he still pushed himself up so he was on his hands and knees over Ly instead of just collapsed on top of him. Ly had a grin on his face that could put the Cheshire cat to shame, and River once again found it hard to believe that this man had once formulated a half-decent plan to take over the human race. He scowled, praying that no one had seen – or heard – any of that. “Now are you happy with yourself?”

“Very,” Ly cackled out.

River sighed heavily, shaking his head, letting loose a few leaves that had gotten stuck there. “Unbelievable. Honestly, you’re supposed to be so much more advanced than me and yet here you are, acting like—”

Ly cut River off again, except this time, it was because he had leaned up to press his lips to River’s, kissing him gently. It did the trick and River shut up, eyes widening and cheeks flaming, and he couldn’t even move. He didn’t kiss back, but he didn’t pull away. He was just there, frozen like a machine that had short-circuited. Ly pulled away after only a few heartbeats, but it may as well have been hours in River’s mind. He simply stared, dumbfounded, at Ly under him, mouth slightly agape in shock.

Ly gave him a genuine smile, not one of his usual cocky smirks. “I just want you to have a bit of fun for once,” he murmured.

River blinked again, rather owlishly, before groaning and nuzzling into his scarf again as if to hide away. It seemed to have become more of a safety blanket than he’d intended. “I often question your idea of ‘fun,’” he muttered.

Ly chuckled, before abruptly falling quiet, eyes widening a bit. “Hold still,” he whispered, reaching up. River listened but his brow creased as Ly’s fingers brushed just slightly against his hair, and a moment later, Ly pulled his hand back. River’s breath caught as he saw the caterpillar, small and fuzzy, that was leisurely inching its way across Ly’s hand.

“How the hell did I not feel that there?” River breathed.

“Because my kiss was so great that you couldn’t focus on anything else?” Ly teased, chuckling.

River huffed. “Well, I was right about there being bugs.”

“Lighten up, River. We like making new friends, remember? Come on.”

Hesitantly, River moved to lay beside Ly in the pile, offering his hand when the caterpillar got to the edge of Ly’s. It didn’t even miss a beat as it crawled onto the new territory. River pulled his hand back to himself, smiling just a bit as he turned his hand this way and that, watching the caterpillar tirelessly climb about.

“Aw, he likes you,” Ly cooed, leaning his head against River’s shoulder.

River scoffed, but his eyes never left his new little companion. He was silent for a moment. “…Maybe I’ll reconsider about getting a pet.”

He tried to ignore the way his chest warmed as Ly laughed against him.

[venus-says]

Aikatsu on Parade! Episodes 01-05

It’s time to get this Parade on the road!

After a much-needed break, I feel like I'm ready to get back into writing about Aikatsu.

On Parade started roughly a month ago and like what has been usual I won't "dissect" each episode and I'll give a more general review of the first 4 episodes.

As a general overview On Parade is good. It's not brilliant or anything, it still feels like we're in Friends! territory, but it's fun once you let critical thinking aside. It's very obvious this is a series trying to cash in on nostalgia and more often than not shows with this premise can be annoying, but so far the nostalgia card hasn't been overused which's a huge plus.

From these 5 episodes, I have only five elements of the show that I really dislike.

The first two points are TOO MANY STAGES and TOO MANY RECYCLED MATERIAL. The performances on Aikatsu are usually the high point of the episode or at least the thing we expect the most, but the way they're doing it is just too much. I would rather see one stage, maybe two, per episode, with updated and consistent CG graphics, rather than three performances especially when there's really no need for that much. Episode 2 could've happened with just Mahiru and Yume&Mio's stages, Message of Rainbow and Your entrance were more than enough for Episode 3, we should've gotten a single Honey Cat performance (maybe You x I) to go along with Jalapeño's in Episode 4, and Identity should've been the only one we got in the Halloween episode. When you have that many stages it just feels like they're padding the episodes up, especially when they don't even bother to update the CG models. Like Akari had two completely different models in episode 5 and it was just SO WEIRD. I know CG is expensive, I know y'all are trying to play with nostalgia, but this just ain't fun.

The third one is regarding the special coords for this season. In the promotional stuff for the arcade, they make it seem like Legend Premium Rares are something SO SPECIAL, they transcend regular PRs, heck Ichigo's one looks like an evolved form of her first PR. But then episode 2 comes out and Yume pops on the stage with her special coord like if it was nothing and it bugged the hell out of me, it was just the same as Friends and the Jeweling Dresses, they don't feel special AT ALL. Now I'm more okay with it and It doesn't bother me as much, I still wish they had at least one scene of them saying how this coord came to exist but I'm already over this fact.

The fourth point is the whole basis of this show. When written down, a door appearing and the girls traveling to different schools seemed like a very fun concept, however, the execution has implications that once you stop for a minute to really think how things work your brain gets messed up. I know that this was probably the only way to make this work without messing up with past continuity, but this whole different worlds/dimensions thing IS SO COMPLICATED. I wish they were just traveling through space and they had retcon things to make the three shows fit in a single universe, rather than start messing up with this kind of stuff.

And the final point I have issues with is characters. First, the show seems to have got rid of any irrelevant character, I mean it was good because M4 hasn't appeared yet (THANK GOD), but like characters like Luka, that ended her season on a high position, weren't nowhere near the spotlight. I didn't expect this show to give any kind of development to characters that weren't the past main protagonists and Raki, and I'm totally fine with that. But even Raki has been lacking development. Don't get me wrong, I like Raki, but her personality is a huge double-edged sword and the fact that the show doesn't punish her for messing up turns her into a flat-lined and uninteresting character sometimes.

Another problem I have is with her dream, she says she wants to wear a PR she made, and the game already gave her a PR which means it'll probably be happening in the show very soon which implies she'll be reaching her goal before the half-point of the season. What I think they mean by that is that she wants to make a PR that's UNIQUE to her and she'll keep making PRs based on other idols coords until it happens, but if that's really the case they don't make a good job at making this clear. Now, Episode 6 seems that'll give her some development and I'm very hopeful to see it in action.

Despite all these flaws, there's a lot of things this show gets right.

I know I just said Raki is a problem, but she's also a solution. When she works she's amazing, she gives the best reaction faces EVER, and she can be very adorable, and from what we've seen from her sketchbook she can make lots of fun designs and I'm excited about it. Also, her mad scientist sister is a lot of fun, even though we've seen so little of her so far.

I can't deny that seeing the cross-generation interactions has been incredible so far, and we've even got some non-expected matches in these few episodes and they all work wonderfully! Yume and Mio sound like best partners, Aine and Ako were surprisingly very fun, Mirai and Akari were probably the most unexpected of the bunch but it was so magical! Honey Cat and Jalapeño was probably the most obvious interaction so far, but that's no detriment for the bond they make on that episode.

Another thing that to me is great is the fact that they don't forget what Raki's main thing is, we're always seeing her looking for inspiration, trying to learn about designing, and actually making her own stuff, that to me is an essential point to make me like Raki as much as I do.

I can't talk about Aikatsu without talking about music, and while we only got technically three new songs so far they've all been very good.

Your Entrance is a great OP, both as song and as the actual opening sequence, my favorite version is, of course, Raki's solo as an insert song, there's something about the lines "I know the end will never come / We will always be alright / I’m forever by your side / trust me as I trust you" that I really love, it gives me a certain desperation vibe, like if the producers are trying to say "THIS IS NOT THE END" and I just love it for some reason. The new ending isn't my favorite rendition of Idol Activities! but it still gives a warmth to my heart and the sequence while very simple is still very beautiful. Speaking of endings the returning rotational endings are a very nice touch. Yume and Mio's version of STARDOM is very good, it may be a sacrilege but I really think Mio and Yume work better together both musically and as characters than Aine&Mio and Yume&Rola ever did (sorry).

These are small things that I also like, first the show keeps the continuity of each series picking up more or less right after each one has ended, I like that other idols can get dragged by Raki's doors because it makes more dynamic, the girls don't need to be always moving to be able to meet new people and it also makes for more creative mix and matches of idols, and I also like that the aphorisms are back because of all ending segment we got this is the best one (I'm just glad the horrible card segment from Kagayaki no Jewel is gone tbh).

And these are pretty much my opinions on the first batch of episodes of Aikatsu on Parade! I feel like I complained a lot, but I'm still very pleased by this season and very excited for what's to come, there's a moment where they talk about achieving things with the help of other people and as much as I know they're probably talking about Raki learning from seeing others and learning to cooperate there's a part of me that's just so excited in hopes that it's a new character coming up and UGHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I'm also very excited to see my faves again at some point, and I'm really hyped for the Mizuki x Elza x Hibiki collaboration they hinted at in the banner for the next wave of cards for the game, it'll be a lot of fun to see Yoko voicing Elza and Hibiki at the same time, I wish we could see backstage videos of that happening. XD

ANYWAY, I feel like I've talked way too much already. What are your thoughts about On Parade? Do you have any theories about how this Aikatsu multiverse things work? Is there anything you're excited to see? Please let me know, let's talk about it. See ya~

[someone-elses-star]

The 100 6x10: Matryoshka Personal Narrative

Here we go again! I hope this week went by as quick for you as it did for me! I’m super excited to see this episode--but nervous because I heard that there might be a major character death? I mean....we just lost Kane next week? Why would they do that to us again?! Any speculations? I’ve been hearing that it might be Raven (though that seems off-plot from this season) and I’ve also been hearing Octavia (but she’s in the next episode so maybe later this season, but definitely not tonight). Also, BOB DIRECTS NEXT EPISODE!!! I’m so jazzed for that! 

Love you Eliza! They can’t kill you off if you’re the only one who introduces the upcoming episodes! Lmao

Haha the reminders showing us yesterday about Bellamy being super in love with Clarke and her return. Like we need that reminder. We have been replaying that scene all week!

Love Clarke on the motorcycle.

Uh oh! Who’s on the other motorcycles?

Our head? Our head? 

You tell her Clarke! 

Damn Josephine knows her away around no matter how many years she’s been gone.

Anybody reminded of the bunker on Earth from season 1 to this one? You know the one where we all started shipping Bellarke? Lol

Ohhh....bringing up the Josephine/Gabriel relationship.

Wow. Josephine actually seems human when talking about him.

Damn.....Clarke is seizing. Damn, she is sorta worried about Clarke, but....still mostly worried about saving her own ass. Not surprised.

Ope! Here is where Raven and Abby find out Clarke is “dead.”

Russell is out for their heads. His own doing, really. 

Yeah, Raven. Look guilty and mournful for Clarke!

So Simone said that to hurt them for hurting her?

Yes, Russell, you’re fault. But not for letting them in. For trying to kill Clarke.

Awwww....calling Madi Clarke’s daughter always gets to me!

Wow. Simone is out for BLOOD!

Just like them? You are worse than them! 

Oh god?! Who are they going to kill?!?!

Oh. Telling people the truth! Good for him!

Do I hear the sounds of rebellion?

Gaia and Echo teamwork! We are getting almost all the spoiler scenes in the first ten minutes, are we? Damn.

REBELLION! REBELLION! 

Rebellion is never really peaceful, though, is it?

You tell him Echo! Haha

Wow. Make them choose who dies? Extra cruel. 

Plan B. Always have a Plan B.

I love Echo. I do. I may not like her and Bellamy together romantically, but I really, really LOVE her!

Wow Gaia. Put on the pressure. 

That’s easy....Murphy. Yup.

You tell him Madi!

Ohh....The truth is coming out!

Abby is going to kill him!

Eventually.....lol. Emori.

Abby totally giving him the slap.

You tell him, Abby!

Commercial Break #1 Thoughts: Honestly, I haven’t liked Abby this season, or most seasons, but it’s nice to see her acting like a real mother again. And also, I love Murphy, but he gets off wayyyyy too easy most time. Do I want him dead? NO! Do I agree that he would be the one to choose....don’t hate me!....but probably so. He did betray them and all. He did the right thing in the end. Sure. But mostly through a lot of outside pressure, and he probably would have gone through with it if Josephine didn’t stab him in the leg and shit. He’s very into saving his own ass. 

Is Josephine really singing....that song? Lol

Ohhh....back in the mind stuff! And it is MESSY and falling apart!

Ohhh their memories are mixing now! That is definitely not good! Way to really push the point that Clarke’s brain is deteriorating. 

Not much. Yes, I would definitely concur.

Ohhh. Her second body really didn’t want to be taken!

Josephine is actually scared. Good.

I love Clarke with a plan!

Hmmm....I hope those memories aren’t important....

Our brain, now Clarke? This is scaring me that she keeps saying “our.”

Leave it to Raven to put Clarke through hell and then give Murphy an easy talk.

So did Gaia purposely get taken?

Madi is ANGRY! 

The only person dying tonight is Russell. How come I don’t agree?

Wow. Very tense lunchtime. 

Is Ty good....or bad? 

Ohhhhh is Ty going to get himself killed because he can’t wait for the rebellion?

OH....is Simone going to die? Good riddance? I suppose....? Yup. Dead. 

No wonder Russell is going to be out for blood this episode. His poor choices are leading to his whole family’s demise. 

Commercial Break #2 Thoughts: Is anyone actually feeling bad for the Primes? I mean, I’m not, but I want to know if there is anyone out there still thinking they are good when their whole brainwashing shit is coming out. Bring on the rebellion! And seriously, already halfway through the episode? I feel, like usual, that we’ve got a lot, but still not enough. I really hope the last few episodes are not rushed because of this. That would suck. I know we’ll get a cliffhanger-ish thing like we usually do, but I hope it is after some real plot growth. Also, so we are probs not going to see Bellamy this episode? Is that what’s happening? Because next to episodes descriptions are all Bellamy/Octavia descriptions which makes me worry also about Clarke’s health. I see Eliza’s name in the cast section of both, but....still worried.

Ope. Josephine and Gabriel memories in different bodies!

Aww.....that’s so cute. I still hate her. And this is so the start of Gabriel’s hate for the Prime system.

Clarke is so sympathizing. She needs to stop being so nice.

Wow. They’re bonding. Damn. Fuck. Fine. Save them both, but give Clarke back her body. And let her live, of course. 

And here is Josephine with an ax. That’s not good. Definitely can’t not trust the psychopath.

And....there goes Josephine. But...Clarke is still inside? How? Is Josephine gone completely now? Or is she awake in Clarke’s body?

And uh oh! Killer vines!

Commercial Break #3 Thoughts: Don’t have many thoughts because that was not a lot before the next set of commercials. But I think we’re somehow seeing Josephine awake somehow? Like, why was it her who regained control when her memories were wiped? And what does this mean for Clarke’s survival? Especially when I’m convinced Josephine was going to use that ax against Clarke? Meaning she can STILL definitely NOT be trusted to keep any sort of deal in keeping them both alive. Josephine is definitely the female Murphy--a little more psycho, yes, but still valid.

At least those commercials didn’t last.

And here is the body being choked! And Gabriel and Octavia to the rescue! 

Nope....Josephine. Not Clarke.

Oh. He does still love her.  That’s not good.

Yeah, Octavia. Ask about Clarke! Save Clarke!

Wow. This is such a mess!

Damn. You guys didn’t honestly think that she was to be trusted. 

You go Bellamy!

“Because of course it is!” What sass!

Blake reunion!

You tell her Bellamy! Protect Clarke, Octavia, and your people. In that order if you don’t mind!

Gaia and Madi confrontation!

Wow Madi is really going bad! Save her!

Yes! Abby is talking sense!

That’s what you get for letting a child become Heda! 

Damn. Shedheda was horrible!

Wow Abby is really going full on mother hen now!

Raven asking the right questions! Good girl!

And this is where we are going to get Madi’s exorcism scene next week!

Ohh....the child is spared, but all the others are burned?

Very witch trials.

Commercial Break #4 Thoughts: Madi is fully gone now. Gotta get that exorcism done. Which is totally next week in Bob’s directorial debut episode next week! SO EXCITED! Which from the behind the scenes pics seems to have Jackson in it, so if he survives the burning at the stake thing, I’m thinking everyone else will, too. Just a theory, but Echo has got to come through in some aspect. And also, with some help from the rebellious people who have already been told the truth? Well. here comes the last fifteen minutes. The last five minutes of all this season’s episodes have been intense, so I wonder what the last five will bring this episode. I’m nervous. And excited. But mostly nervous as always. This show is totally going to make me go prematurely grey! 

Russell giving his dictatorship speech. Gotta have it. 

Echo is totally ready. 

You tell them Emori! 

Very witch trials. 

Damn it, Riker! What the hell?!? Can’t trust any of these bastards.

The chick on the motorcycle is going to save them last moment. Calling it.

Or.....Murphy will save them?

Hmmmm....he’s considering it.

And....now they’re safe? Again?

Ohhh....and Raven is going to use the computer to erase Madi’s bad side.

But they are still going to burn the guy who killed Simone. Typical.

I could see that coming a mile away. Gotta keep everyone in fear of the Primes.

Commercial Break #5 Thoughts: Fear is what keeps the people under control. Biggest sign of a dictatorship. And further proof that the Primes are the real bad guys here. Even Russell in his best moments has always been a brainwashing dictator playing himself off as a god. Also, last five minutes are coming up! Always the most intense! Does anyone else believe this is when we will find if Clarke is going to live or die. I really would stop watching if she died. She’s the show for me.

SAVE CLARKE Gabriel! 

Stop with the heart eyes! Only Bellamy and Clarke can have heart eyes!

She was right to depend on you. 

Gabriel making hard decisions. 

He better still save Clarke!

Either that, or the Blake’s will probably kill him.

Bellamy is seriously pissed. Save his Clarke!

Damn right, Gabriel! The only one who can be trusted I think. Maybe.

Death is life. Very poetic.

And Clarke is now seeing her mind breaking apart. 

Okay. Save her! Save her now! I’m scared! Restart her heart! 

Why is she still here!?

WHAT?!?!?!?! 

IS she really killing Clarke?

Oh God. 

Heart and the head. Hear and the head!

Save her Bellamy! This is love! 

Is that the only kiss we are only ever going to see?

Damn....are we really losing Clarke?

Oh my god. My heart seriously was stopping and racing!

The head and the heart! This is so a love confession!

THAT WAS A LOVE CONFESSION!!!!!

My hands are still shaking from thinking that they were really killing off Clarke!

[chasholidays]

First of all, I'm weirdly proud of you for thinking of your mental health and changing the setup for holiday prompts! Anyway, I always love how you write Clarke and Miller's relationship and I would love to read a modern day Bellarke fic that focuses on Clarke and Miller being supportive friends who love each other but don't like to talk about it, but maybe they end up talking about it anyway? Besides it being modern day and focused on their friendship you have really free hands!

Like most friendly agreements, the dibs system wasn’t something Clarke and Nate ever sat down and ironed out, not really a formal thing. There is no list of rules and guidelines, no contract signed in blood.

All that happens is that a cute boy comes into auditions for the play in seventh grade, and Nate says, “Dibs.”

Clarke frowns. “On him?”

“Yup. He’s all mine.”

The confidence is just a little bit absurd. Not only is Nate twelve years old, skinny, and awkward, but they don’t even know if the guy likes guys. The idea that he’s going to, without a doubt, get this guy is pretty much ridiculous.

All of which Clarke could point out, but she doesn’t want to. Nate only just told her a few weeks ago that the thought he liked guys, and this part feels like a test, like Nate wants to see if Clarke believes him and accepts him.

“All yours,” Clarke agrees, and when, five weeks later, the boy tries to kiss her, Clarke says, “Sorry, you’re not my type.”

She doesn’t mention it to Nate for a long time, not until they’re at a party sophomore year and she sees a cute boy and says, “Hey, dibs.”

“What?”

“Dibs.”

“Who calls dibs? Are you twelve?”

“You called dibs. When we were twelve,” she has to admit. “You called dibs on Mark Talbot when we were doing the play and he kissed me and I didn’t kiss him back.”

“Huh,” says Nate. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“So really, you owe me. Mark Talbot’s a dick.”

This is true, but somewhat beside the point. “You still made dibs a thing, not me.”

“So what, now I’m supposed to not hit on that guy? Because you didn’t make out with a douchebag in seventh grade?”

“Well, not that douchebag.”

Nate snorts. “I forgot your taste in guys sucks. Fine, I won’t try to hit on him. He’s not even that cute.”

Up close, he’s definitely not that cute, and he’s not interested in Clarke, but the principle of the thing remains: Clarke called dibs, and Nate respected it, and now it’s a thing they’re both aware of.

It doesn’t always mean that they’re worried the other person will make a move; Clarke calls it on girls sometimes, and Nate calls it on guys he knows to be gay. It’s a declaration of interest, a request for backup, a silly tradition that grows over the years into a ritual. It doesn’t mean everything, but it means something, and something important.

And then, Nate calls dibs on Bellamy.

Which isn’t a big deal, all things considered. There’s definitely nothing wrong with it. Bellamy teaches Latin at the school where Clarke teaches art, and they’re friendly, verging on actually being friends. He and his roommates were having a party and he invited Clarke, who invited Nate. Nate hasn’t met Bellamy, so this is the first time calling dibs is an option, and now he has.

Clarke didn’t, so there’s no violation or anything. She’s had plenty of chances to call dibs on Bellamy and it never even occurred to her. She’s had two years of potential dibs and never took them.

“On Bellamy?”

“The one with the curly hair and the glasses, yeah.” Nate looks at her askance. “You said he’s bi, right?”

“He is, yeah.” Her brain finally gets with the program, and she smiles. “Honestly, you guys would probably be pretty great together.”

“You think?”

“You’re an asshole, he’s an asshole–”

“Wow, we already have so much in common.”

“And I’m pretty sure he’s single. Yeah, this one’s actually a good call.”

“Unlike my usual shitty taste?”

“Your exes have been a pretty mixed bag.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk.”

She grins. “Here’s hoping I develop good taste one day too.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Are you going to go talk to him?”

Nate takes a deliberate sip of his drink. “That’s not really in the spirit of dibs. It’s a long game. If I was going to hook up with him tonight, I wouldn’t need to call dibs. But I figure I’ll see him again sometime.”

“Oh good, I can’t wait to watch the train wreck of you seducing my coworker in real time.”

“You’re trying for sarcastic, but I know you’re actually looking forward to it. I can give you some tips.”

“I don’t need tips.”

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t seen me work yet.”

“I’ve seen you work enough to last me a lifetime.”

“Not since high school. I’ve gotten a lot better.”

That’s the other thing about the Bellamy dib, the thing that makes it feel more important than maybe it should. Clarke and Nate went to different colleges, in different time zones. They stayed in touch, of course, through Facebook and text messages, but this is their first time living in the same place full time for seven years, and the first time ever as adults. This is part of their new status quo, and Clarke doesn’t want to mess it up.

“Looking forward to it,” she says, with a smile.

She thinks she sounds pretty convincing.

*

Clarke and Bellamy weren’t instant friends when Clarke started teaching at Arcadia. The first time they met, Bellamy was disciplining some kids too harshly (in Clarke’s new and only semi-professional opinion) and while she hadn’t undermined him in front of the kids, she did take him aside after to gently point out that he was wrong.

Which he hadn’t been. Clarke can admit she was the asshole there, and Bellamy maybe knew his business better than she did.

Still, it was a hurdle that proved difficult to overcome on both sides. Clarke has never been good at admitting she’s wrong, and while Bellamy has since admitted that he got where she was coming from, he wasn’t particularly inclined to be the first to try to make amends. Given how stubborn both of them are, it probably could have gone on forever, but at the start of Clarke’s second year of teaching, they hired a new principal, who was and still is awful, and suddenly she and Bellamy had a common enemy. They found themselves on the same side of conversations in the staff room, working together to push back against shitty policies, and once that started, they realized how good they were at it and how much they actually did agree on a lot of things.

By the time Nate calls dibs on him, Bellamy is without doubt Clarke’s favorite coworker, which means the whole thing should, in theory, be a slam dunk. Nate and Bellamy seem like a good match, two of her favorite people in the world, and if they want to date, Clarke should be all for it. Clarke wants to be all for it. On paper, it makes so much sense.

Something about it bugs her, though, and she can’t figure out what. She’s probably being territorial toward one or both of them, worried that they won’t need her if they have each other, and that’s beyond shitty.

But she can get past it.

“You’re still single, right?”

It’s a week after the party, and if Nate has done anything to try to actually make a move on Bellamy, Clarke missed it. And, of course, he doesn’t have to do anything, there have been countless dibs that went nowhere, but it would really be a shame if nothing happened with him and Bellamy. A complete waste of dibs.

Bellamy looks up from the papers he’s grading with a small frown. “What?”

“You. Your dating status. Still single?”

“Still single. Why?”

As sad as it is, Clarke hadn’t really had a plan for this conversation past this point. She’s not really much of a matchmaker, and telling Bellamy that Nate likes him goes against the entire spirit of dibs. Her job here is to support Nate in his crush, not go out and make things happen herself.

Bellamy is still watching her, eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation. “I saw you talking to that brunette at the party, I thought she might be a new girlfriend.”

“Oh, no. Ex-girlfriend, actually. But we broke up on good terms, so people make that mistake a lot.”

“I don’t understand how you’re on such good terms with all your exes,” she grumbles. “You broke up, it’s supposed to be bad!”

“No, breaking up is good. Staying together when you should break up is bad. Maybe this is your problem,” he teases.

“Shut up.”

He considers her. “What about the guy you brought? New boyfriend?”

At least he’s considerate enough to give her the perfect opening. “Him? No, that’s Nate.”

“He said his name was Miller.”

“He started going by his last name in high school because our class had like five Nates. But we’ve been friends since–I can’t even remember. Basically since birth.”

Bellamy snorts. “You would have a friend like that.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I picture your childhood as very idyllic, I guess. I moved around too much to keep any of the kids I knew growing up.”

“That happened with our other friend, Wells. We were all in the same carpool to pre-school–shut up,” she adds, before he can say anything, and he grins and holds his hands up. It is a cute story, he’s not wrong. “We were pretty much inseparable through elementary school, but then in sixth grade Wells’ dad got a job in Seattle and they moved, so it was just me and Nate. Not that we didn’t still talk to Wells, but it wasn’t the same.” She shrugs. “We went to different colleges, but he got a new job here, so here we are.”

“That’s awesome. It must be nice to have him around again.” He smirks. “You know, none of that is convincing me that he’s not going to be your new boyfriend. That sounds like some rom-com shit.”

“He’s gay.”

“Okay, never mind, yeah.”

“I’m going to try to bring him to stuff, though,” she says. “Maybe even organize stuff myself.”

Bellamy snorts. “Wow, drastic measures.”

“I could have parties, right? Or, like, game nights. Nate likes games, I have a pretty big apartment.”

“Is this you asking me if I’ll come to game nights at your apartment, the answer is yes. I’ll even give you some tips on how to act like you’re actually comfortable having people over.”

“It just gets messy,” she says, making a face. “I hate cleaning.”

“But you’re worried he won’t make any friends without your semi-competent help, so you’re willing to do it anyway?”

It’s a much safer explanation than the truth. “I know he didn’t just move here for me, but I was part of the reason. I don’t want him to regret it.”

Bellamy’s expression softens, the smile warming his whole face. “I get that, yeah. It looked like he was having fun at my party, so that’s a good start.”

“Yeah, I think he had a good time.” She tucks her hair back. “So, game nights?”

“Until you come up with something to do that doesn’t mess up your apartment, sure. Whatever it is, I’m in.”

Clarke smiles. “Cool, I’ll keep you posted.”

*

Despite the whole thing being for his benefit, Nate is less enthused about the game night idea.

“You need a good group dynamic for game night,” he explains. “I don’t know anyone well enough to be sure what kind of games would even be good. You’re over-competitive, that’s already a bad start.”

“I am not!”

“You hate losing.”

“Who likes losing?” she grumbles, and Nate smirks.

“This is what I’m saying.”

“I’m trying to help, you know.”

“Help with what, exactly?”

“Making friends? Hitting on my coworker? Settling into the city?”

Nate snorts. “Thanks, Mom. I can manage my own social life.” But his expression softens. “We should have auditions.”

“Auditions?”

“Don’t call it a game night until we know who we want to come. You don’t want to commit to a group. These are the kinds of things you’d know if you were a true gamer,” he adds.

“This is the kind of thing I don’t know because I got laid in college.”

“I got laid in college and I played board games. Which one of us is winning here?”

“Honestly, neither.”

He grins. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“So, any of your new coworkers you think would be good for a board game night?”

“I think we can figure something out.”

Clarke invites Bellamy, Sinclair from the physics department, and Jasper from English. Bellamy brings (yet another) ex-girlfriend, Raven, who’s apparently a shark, and Jasper brings his friend Monty. Nate invites his coworkers Harper and Monroe, and they have what, in Clarke’s amateur opinion, is a pretty successful game night. Everyone seems to enjoy themselves, and no one gets too competitive, not even Clarke.

And, as a bonus, she manages to get Bellamy and Nate in the same pod for most of the games, and they seem to get along just as well as she thought they would.

Honestly, it’s one of her more successful plans, thus far. She could maybe be good at this.

“That was a good crew, right?” she asks Nate, once everyone else has cleared out. “Good attitudes.”

“Yeah, that actually worked out really well.” He leans against the counter, watching her. “You know you don’t have to do all this, right? Like, I’m an adult, I can make friends on my own. You’re not even that good at making friends. Blind leading the blind.”

“So I’m trying to help both of us. And it’s working so far, right?”

“One good game night,” he says. “Don’t get cocky.”

Clarke grins. “So, same time next week?”

“Yeah, can’t wait.”

*

The exact make-up of game night varies, depending on how busy everyone is. Clarke is the default host, but after a few weeks, it’s evolved beyond her. She has too much going on with grading and helping out with the junior fundraiser one week, so Bellamy agrees to have it at his place so Clarke won’t have as much on her place. Even Jasper’s friend Monty, who barely knows them, hosts one week, just because he loves games so much and is excited to finally have a group to play them with.

It takes about two months for things to go wrong, and when they do, it’s in the stupidest possible way. Nate’s usually the one to help Clarke with cleanup, but he has an early morning, so Bellamy volunteers to stick around instead.

“You know,” he observes, “I didn’t think this was going to work.”

“Which part?”

“The game night thing. I figured it would fall apart after a week or two, that’s how this always works. But I should have known you’re too stubborn to just give up. Is it working?”

“You just said it was working,” Clarke says, frowning at him.

“No, not that. You were trying to make friends for Miller. How’s that going?”

Clarke feels a flush race through her body, although she can’t figure out why. “You like him, right?”

“Yeah, he’s cool. Does he like sports?”

“Sports? Like, as a general concept?”

“I have some tickets to a baseball game,” he says, not looking at Clarke. “My sister got them and she can’t go, so she gave them to me. I thought maybe Miller might be interested. I assume you’re not,” he adds, an afterthought, and Clarke pastes on a smile.

“Yeah, definitely not. I don’t know anything about baseball. But Nate might be interested, yeah. You should ask him.”

“Cool, thanks. It seems like he’s getting along with everybody pretty well, so–seriously, I’m impressed.”

“I’m impressive.”

She makes it through the rest of the cleaning up without incident, sends Bellamy home, and then drops back against the door with a shaky exhale of breath. This was what she wanted; this was the whole point. Helping Nate make friends generally and with Bellamy specifically, and now Bellamy is asking him out. This is going better than Clarke could have imagined.

She takes a few deep breaths and calls Wells. He’s still on the west coast, so it’s not as late there, and he picks up right away.

“Hey, Clarke, what’s up?”

“I’m having a weird crisis.”

“Oh good, that sounds fun.” But she can hear the smile in his voice. “What’s the weird crisis?”

She exhales. “It’s complicated.”

“Will you quit stalling and just tell me already? It’s complicated and stupid and you’re embarrassed, I get it. I won’t judge you.”

“I just realized I have a thing for my coworker.”

“Bellamy?”

Her heart drops. “How did you know?”

“You talk about him a lot. I didn’t think you knew, if it helps. You’re kind of slow with this stuff.”

“That’s supposed to help?”

“So, you figured out you like him and now you’re panicking? That’s not that bad.”

“Nate likes him and I’ve been trying to set them up. And I just figured out I like Bellamy because he’s going to ask Nate out.”

“Huh,” says Wells, slow. “Okay, yeah, that’s worse than I was expecting.”

Clarke closes her eyes, sighing deeply. “I thought I was happy for him. I was happy for him. Nate said he had dibs and I thought–” She pauses, reconsiders. “I told myself I was good with it and I should make it happen, and now I did.”

“How much does Nate like him?”

It’s a good question to which Clarke doesn’t have a good answer. Nate called dibs, obviously, but it doesn’t feel as if he’s put a ton of effort into hanging out with Bellamy, not more than anyone else. They seem friendly, but Clarke wouldn’t know he had a crush if he hadn’t told her. He hasn’t mentioned it since that first night, and he hasn’t seemed to put together that the game nights were entirely for his benefit, with Bellamy.

“I don’t know. He just said–” She’s never explained the whole dibs thing to Wells, and saying it now feels juvenile. She’s twenty-five; she shouldn’t be having a meltdown like this over something that ambiguous. “He just said he liked him. It’s been a couple months now, he hasn’t mentioned it again.”

“So talk to him,” Wells says, logical as ever. “Tell him what’s going on. I’m not saying he’s going to just tell you to go for it, but you know the two of you need to have a conversation. And you knew I was going to tell you this too, so you knew what you were getting into calling me. Get it together, Griffin, and ovary up.”

“Thanks.”

“Seriously, he’s your best friend. Aside from yours truly. You can talk to him.”

“Yeah,” she says, with a sigh. “I can.”

*

The next day, she frets off and on about when to talk to Nate, but doing it after the baseball date just feels shitty, if she’s honest. If their positions were reversed, and she was going out with a guy Nate had realized he liked, she’d want to know about it as soon as possible, and definitely before the actual first date. Like Wells said, it wouldn’t necessarily change her plans, but she’d at least want to weigh Nate’s feelings against everything else. That’s what friends do, and it’s definitely what Nate is going to do.

So she asks if he wants to hang out the next night, and when he shows up, she just blurts it out: “I need to talk to you about Bellamy.”

Nate frowns. “What about Bellamy?”

“You know–” She exhales. It’s easy to talk to Wells about feelings stuff; Wells loves feelings. But she and Nate have never been good at that. “Okay, I know you like him. And I really wanted to support you, but–”

Nate holds up his hand. “Wait, what?”

“I was trying to help!”

For a second, his face is all confusion, but then his expression clears and he starts to laugh. “Jesus, you’ve been trying to set me up with Bellamy.”

“Of course I have! You said you liked him.”

“I did?”

“You called dibs! The first party, you saw him, and you said–”

“I wanted to hook up with him, I didn’t want to marry him. It’s not like I was real attached to the idea.”

Clarke opens and closes her mouth a few times, finally says, “Did you hook up with him?”

“No. He’s still hot, don’t get me wrong, but Monty’s more my type.”

“Monty?”

He scowls. “What’s wrong with Monty. He’s hot, he’s geeky, he’s not as fucking intense as you and Bellamy–”

“I didn’t mean it like–” She shakes her head. “Nothing against Monty, he’s great. I’ve just spend the last two months stressing about you and Bellamy.”

“You know I’m an adult, right? I can take care of myself. I don’t need you managing my social life or my love life.”

“I know.” She rubs her face, gives him a sheepish smile. “Bellamy’s going to ask you to go to a baseball game. He told me that and I had kind of a breakdown because I thought you guys were going to be–this whole happily ever after love story. And I might have just realized a thing for him.”

“Jesus Christ, Griffin.” He puts his arm around her and squeezes. “You never thought about just asking me?”

“I was telling myself I was happy for you!”

“Just saying, five minutes’ conversation and this would have been all set. Even if I liked him, I wouldn’t have–”

“You would have told me to go for it, just like I was telling you to go for it. I thought–you called dibs! It wasn’t ambiguous.”

“Yeah, but it’s not a blood pact.” He pauses, studying her for a long moment. “If you ever called dibs on a guy I really liked, I would have just told you.”

“You’re a lot more in touch with your feelings than I am. I was still in denial.”

“Yeah, you’re a disaster. So, he’s going to ask me out?”

“To a baseball game. I don’t even know if it’s a date, he was being pretty casual about it. Fuck,” she says. “If he’s into you–”

“I’ll let him down easy. But I haven’t really gotten that vibe from him. Honestly, if you asked me? I’d say he’s into you. He’s always looking for an excuse to hang out with you more, and half the time when I’m talking to him, we’re talking about you.” He grins. “If he still wants to take me to the baseball game as friends, I can feel him out for you.”

She sighs. “I don’t know, I was thinking I could just talk to him.”

“Really?”

“It really does clear things up fast.” She smiles. “If you liked him, I’d step aside. Really. I wasn’t going to ask you to give him up or anything. That’s not why–”

“I know you’ve got my back. And I’ve got yours. Let me know if you need anything.”

“And if you need help with Monty–”

He smirks. “You know, I think you’ve done enough. I’ve got it from here.”

“Good. I’m rooting for you.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Right back at you.”

*

She waits until all the students have cleared out the next afternoon and then goes to find him in his room. He likes to grade until dinner time, a tradition Clarke finds baffling, but he claims it helps with work/life balance, and it does make him easy to find. She’d like to say she’s only a little nervous, but that’s a lie. She’s had a very intense week of feelings, and she’s looking forward to just having it done with, but she’s also kind of dying.

So it’s time to clear everything up.

“Hey,” she says, knocking on his door jamb. “Got a second?”

“Yeah, what’s up? You’re here late.”

She closes the door behind her as she enters the classroom, props herself up on the table across from his desk. It’s her first time alone with him since she realized how she felt and she’s hyper aware of everything about him. She can’t believe it took her this long to realize how she felt. It feels so stupidly obvious.

“Yeah, I was waiting for everyone to clear out.”

He frowns. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s–honestly, it’s kind of ridiculous. Are you asking Nate to go to that game?”

“One of my students might want to buy the tickets, I’m waiting to see if he actually comes up with the money. Why?”

“Was it going to be a date?”

The blood drains from his face. “What? Fuck, no, I–did he think that? I didn’t think–”

She starts to laugh. “No, I’m pretty sure I had this whole weird narrative built up in my head and no one but me knew about it.”

“The narrative where I want to date your best friend?”

“And he wants to date you.”

“Does he want to date me?”

“No, he doesn’t. No one thought that but me. And I’ve been kind of–” She shrugs. “It’s been a weird couple months.”

“I still feel like I’m missing something,” he says, almost reluctantly. Like he’s disappointed with himself for not getting it.

It’s not his fault, of course. She exhales, makes herself look at him. “I was kind of freaking out about it. Because–I’m interested in you. Which doesn’t have to be a thing, but after this week I feel like direct communication is my friend. So–do you want to get dinner sometime?”

He blinks a few times, processing the information. It’s clearly nothing he was expecting, probably nothing that ever occurred to him, and now he’s trying to figure out how to let her down easy, how to–

“Fuck, I didn’t think I had a chance,” he says, face breaking out into a huge grin. He crosses the room and cups her face, kissing her so she can taste the smile too. “No wonder I was getting such weird signals,” he teases.

Clarke grins too. “I’m not very good with feelings.”

“Not so much.” He leans down for another kiss. “So, dinner?”

“It’s a date.”

*

Two weeks later, they end up on a double date with Nate, who’s up to date on Clarke’s incompetence, and Monty, who wants to hear the whole story.

“I don’t know if we should really be talking about how I wanted to fuck Bellamy,” Nate teases.

Monty waves his hand. “It’s fine, Bellamy’s hot, everyone wants to fuck him. We just accept that.”

“Thanks,” says Bellamy. “I think.”

Clarke smiles. “It was really a simple misunderstanding. Nate and I didn’t formalize the dibs system, so I thought he was saying I want that guy and you can never go for him–”

“And I was a little drunk and thought Bellamy was hot. I forgot about it by the next day.”

“I probably would have too,” Clarke protests. “Except that I was trying really hard to be supportive.”

“Heavily in denial,” Nate says, winking at her, and Clarke kicks him under the table. Just a little.

“Hey, I’m not complaining. I got a girlfriend and I found out everyone wants to fuck me. This worked out great for me.”

“Yeah,” Nate agrees. “Good job with the matchmaking, Clarke. You nailed it.”

He waits until Bellamy and Monty have gone for another round of drinks to add, “I think we should retire the dibs thing.”

“You think?”

“It was confusing. And I’m hoping we don’t need it anymore.”

Clarke smiles, raises the dregs of her drink for him to clink his glass. “Yeah,” she agrees. “I think we’re all set.”