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thedarkmistress16 · 2 years ago

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TS4 Rewatch Rant Analysis

You don’t need to care about my opinion; I don’t want you to. But I want to explain why I’m frustrated about the final product in terms of both within the movie and extending to implications of the franchise. I also want to provide methods to improve or fix the building blocks of this movie as how I see the franchise and how these characters should be treated and developed as someone who’s grown along with these films and rewatched them more than I can ever hope to count. I’d figure I would post this here to get my ideas out there and clear my mind of these thoughts (also writing a fix-it fic is something too time consuming for me rn). I hope, at the very least, that my passionate word vomit is entertaining to someone.

Will be tagging spoilers since this film is still fairly new and I’m not a complete asshole. This will be a mix of analytical criticing and shitposty jokes for the purpose of harsh hyperbole and humor, so a complete mess all around. This is also stupidly long, been in my drafts for a long time so this timing may seem odd, and there is genuine introspection at the tail end of this. I don’t absolutely despise this film or want to run it into the ground, to preface.

I initially had very mixed feelings about Toy Story 4; I couldn’t tell if I liked or disliked it because the characters looked stunning, Bo Peep was different, there were references to previous films scattered throughout, and Woody’s choice had me still bawling a few weeks later when rewatching the scene. It was only after popping in the Blu-ray film in my newly-acquired collection set, understanding commentaries and deleted scenes, and watching other reviews I came to realize what worked and didn’t work for me in the context of the film’s franchise.

To put simply, the positives of this film are it’s attention to detail and overall animation quality (lighting and other effects) and that it’s funny. It seems these two things are unanimous and I do wholeheartedly agree with them. But it’s also why I believe this movie’s existence is to showcase quality with little to no substance. Which is pretty offensive considering the catalog of films that made a fourth one possible had care in tackling problems and characters in an intriguing and consistent way, and these are all stories about toys at their core, which still hold up today for human scenarios. But with Toy Story 4? Having complex and compelling characters with purpose and themes with development? Nah, animation preeettyyyyy and forky funnnyyy lol.

Expand What You Already Know. Or Don’t, I Guess.

This movie likes to forget the foundation it already has and decides to start from scratch, using valuable resources to create new character designs, motivations, backstories, and relationships when most of the work is already done for you. It’s majorly sitting in the RV, realistically doing nothing but taking up space (until the plot says so), yet systematically crippling this movie and the others before it by said existence. These additional toys that are background characters in this film should’ve either had development or a significant purpose in the film more than the ending or random RV shenanigans, or not been included at all because they clutter up the film (and I hate to talk about these characters like this as I do love them but that’s how it is).

In this case, less is more, especially if your main focus is on one to a few characters over the entire cast- being forky, woody, bo, and the new toys. This leads into a discussion of Bonnie having too many toys at this point which is one reason besides a child’s retention rate that results in the neglect of Woody, but the disregarding Woody after Andy’s speech about him meme isn’t the worst issue I’ve come across in this film (and I really don’t blame the girl).

Look How They Massacred My Boy. For Shame.

I didn’t need to rewatch this film again to realize that Buzz was done dirty in this movie. Going as far to say character assassination is amusing, but might not be as true in this sense. Buzz has no reason not to know what his inner voice/subconscious is and it’s occurrence here really undervalues the preceeding movies regarding the character and the thought behind his actions. There is no reason to have Buzz act deluded or ignorant to such common concepts in the world he inhabits as it insults the establishment and progression of his character up to and in Toy Story 4, and I will not blindly accept him as comic relief anymore (that’s what Rex is for and I love him for it).

I am well aware of the people in charge milking Buzz’s deluded state in every Toy Story movie (plus some Toy Story Treats) beacuse it’s funny. I laughed at it too as a dumb kid enthralled by these toys moving, talking, and have personalities. The schmoe and Hawayai jokes are still enjoyable to me, it’s cute. The problem here is there’s more to Buzz Lightyear than just ‘haha silly (deluded) space toy go brrrr,’ and not just in Toy Story 4 does this happen. Buzz Lightyear is tactical, (basically the whole TS2 rescue mission he started, using Rex’s tail to escape the garbage bag and coming up with the caterpiller room transom escape in TS3) intelligent (backed by academy training, shown in his fighting moves, instincts, jargon, etc. in TS1 and relates to last trait) a leader, (steps up into the leadership role in lieu of Woody in TS2 and TS3 or co-lead with him in the TS3 meeting), determined (to save his friends in TS2 and TS3), more emotionally mature than Woody (see all of Toy Story 1 and compare their arcs; Buzz’s turmoil is more self-contained/depricating than Woody’s, as the cowboy decides to take out his jealousy on others and Buzz, almost murdering the space ranger who only ever attacked Woody once and it wasn’t even during his existential crisis), discovering his worth as Andy’s toy and Woody’s friend (relaying Woody’s words back at him in TS2), embracing his role and family, having a crush on Jessie and supporting her through her trauma and fears, and I can go on.

If you want to make Buzz funny without taking away his personality and growth, have more shit like in the sequel, where a toy-savvy og Buzz plays off of those who think they are real like fake belt Buzz. I’m basically asking for the Bootleg Buzz deleted scene here not only because it is stupidly hilarious in concept, but it also lends additional world-building possibilities like a toy’s personal beliefs/perceptions and human/toy dynamics that hasn’t been explored further in this franchise’s film installments (See: Small Fry). Also, having Buzz saying space jargon in the context of his background knowledge always puts a smile on my face and you don’t have to dumb down this character to achieve that. :)

Is This What They Call... A Glowup? Cuz This Ain’t It, Chief.

My main gripe about Bo’s character is that she lost the personality she had in Andy’s house and her alterations go against the established canon of the shepherdess. More specifically, the strong, go-getter Bo Peep the creators are pushing for here doesn’t feel justified as an understandable change in universe because of the decision to portray her as a simpler or less-realized version of her future self in Molly’s room and extensively implies she’s always been or wanted to be a free spirit and leader when she’s never expressed this otherwise. Her new design isn’t as important to complain about in comparison here but I do find it odd and interesting how her eyes were made bigger in her redesign (like doe eyes) yet she’s rougher around the edges and serious personality-wise, whereas her initial design had sharp eyes similar to a human that enhanced her qualities like flirting and sassiness and the idea of porcelain that is smooth but sharp.

Woody’s surprise at seeing Bo all these years later would be much more believable if her personality initially reflected who she is in Toy Story 1 and 2 during the opening flashback; flirty, empathetic, gentle, and a general overseer of the room that watches others take charge to avoid chipping or shattering as she’s made of porcelain and has limited movement by design. Having so much agency and independence in TS4 may subvert expectations, but feels jarring after knowing this context in a back-to-back viewing of all four films. She’s comparatively more bitter, no-nonsense, and world-weary here, which I get because survival and harsh reality of the world, but she should have a lot more chipping than shown if she’s getting as much playtime as she’s boasting and desiring, especially the rough ones as the kids are random (unlike the deleted storyboard version of the playground). This really feels like a different character and I really don’t believe she and her sheep would’ve lasted this long or have this much fluidity, ingenuity, and agency as the movie claims. Some, possibly, but while humans can train and adapt their bodies for flexibility, strength, etc. to survive, toys cannot. They are stuck in their forms and Bo moves slow as per her build and material of which she was constructed, so she can only adapt so much to the rough lifestyle that is being a lost toy that wants to be played with from time to time.

The Lamp Life short tells me she wants more than, well, lamp life, with the intro concept to non-toys coming to life by a child’s imagination in TS4 support this and her possible in canon reason for existence since TS1. But the short is not Toy Story 4 and past Bo never expressed this in past films. She was really just there as a background character for Woody and never alluded to any dislike for her life or any existential crisis due to that initial purpose of being Woody’s girlfriend and nothing else (not even that initially because of Barbie and copyright so supportive side character to be generous). At the very least the creators of this movie could’ve respected Bo Peep in a way that did not completely rewrite her during a time in which the canonical characterization being shown of her is blatantly false (flashback opening scene).

Furthermore, a viewer shouldn’t feel the need to watch a short (Lamp Life) to get the full context behind Bo’s story after Andy because the movie glosses over those details and moves on like no long-time viewer of Toy Story is curious after her “return.” Details which could’ve helped Bo and Woody have a quiet moment to bond and connect over as they share experiences of being lost instead of being treated as an afterthought (Bo’s retelling of her “Lamp Life” to Woody took place after the conclusion of the fourth installment- Woody even says “Oh yeah, what happened after all that time?”- stating he didn’t even think to ask her about her past in detail during the movie at any point and Bo never explains it until someone else brings it up it in the short film- Giggles. This is something that should’ve been addressed way earlier if Bo is supposed to be one of the main characters in the film, hence, this is an afterthought to the creators and a wasted opportunity).

In addition, if they wanted to have Bo Peep undergo a character change that logically made sense, they could’ve lifted over traits from her original self to her lost toy character, such as her flirtiness for ex. Not only was it played for comedy in both the original Toy Story films (mainly concerning her reactions and interactions to/with the protagonists- moving buddy comment with Buzz and contact with and kisses for Woody in TS1 and TS2), it also showed how much she cared about Woody (wanting Woody to see how much Andy misses him in TS1). She was also a little sassy in her expressions and exchanges with Woody, too. Exploring how their relationship was established and/or moments they shared outside of what the audience had already seen for Toy Story 4 would help not only further develop both characters in a reasonable and new fashion, but aid the audience in getting attached to them on another level, thus rendering the couple’s reconnection years later all that more impactful and important. If Toy Story 4 was about the romance of Woody and Bo as old, lost loves reuniting, this movie could’ve really sold me on its existence, considering its content that was never fully realized even with Buzz and Jessie, who are in the awkward, blushing, early phases of dating (they might not even be officially together canonically at this point, and Woody and Bo’s relationship of comfortability would lend a great contrast to this).

It was hella cute to see the shepherdess and the sheriff together and having playful and sweet exchanges in the first two movies. While I understand that time can change a person and how they think of others, especially how memories can be associated with different emotions from introspection and how that person evolves and sees others in different lights, I find it hard to believe that Woody and Bo never once had a kiss on screen in Toy Story 4, nor had any substantial romantic chemistry from either side. It was my understanding in the original films that these two were established as a romantic couple (her existence is to solely be Woody’s girlfriend as said by the original Toy Story commentary) and it is fact that she has kissed him before (again, TS1 and intention to kiss in TS2) and can be seen approaching him to comfort him with words and touches (Woody’s favoritism issues in TS1 and his nerves about cowboy camp going bad in TS2- these moments are cut off by jokes like Potato Head’s comment or Rex’s tug of war with Bo’s sheep, but there’s enough time established with them to be treated as emotionally impactful moments, albeit small).

Woody and Bo being lost toy buddies doesn’t feel nearly as emotionally impactful as a romantic relationship would. Neither character said anything about their past regarding their past romance or even bring it up in Toy Story 4, just reminiscing like they’re old buddies. The most we get is Woody staring at her in two instances (top of the carnival and watching lights in the antique store), and even then it isn’t explicitly said if Woody still harbors romantic feelings or not. Bo commenting on loving Woody’s loyalty after their argument is said when he’s not present, and I don’t think she ever said it to him directly afterwards when they did meet up again, which further hinders their opportunities at expressing their feelings. It feels like one friend-zoned the other off-screen because of how awkward they are around each other and act nothing more than old friends tiptoeing around each other. Buzz and Bo meeting again are arguably more friendly in this way than Woody and Bo are.

The deleted scene of Woody finding Bo again after so long treats their originally established dynamic better than the scene in the film. In that storyboard, both characters have the time to take in and realize who they are seeing as they stare at one other, assess their emotions and memories, and fully act upon those raw feelings in real time as if they are their lost in their own world by embracing. This reunion is cut short but as stated earlier in examples, both characters are given time for this moment to occur organically (within the circumstances), and the insight into Woody’s memories helps visualize his feelings for her through the times spent together, enhancing the quality of the nonverbal aspect of storytelling... or storyboards, in this case.

In comparison to the final film reunion, Woody and Bo have to worry about other kids seeing them move and talk in the playground with their minds already preoccupied with the world around them and toy rules instead of meeting each other again after so long. By the time they get to a safe place to converse, it’s nowhere near as heartfelt and/or important as the encounter should have been and the action of Bo brushing off Woody’s shoulder feels like a visualization of earlier- sweeping a potentially emotional moment under the rug. Not to mention Woody and Bo are in toy mode when they see each other for the first time, preventing the audience from witnessing their first, raw reactions (I can’t explain how good this deleted scene is it has so much potential and I got emotional over pencil drawings of these toys and what it implies and leads to you if it was explored and developed more you don’t understand-). The lack of romance wouldn’t be as much of an issue if their relationship didn’t have an impact on the story’s conclusion and other characters by extension, namely Woody.

Was it Hoes before Bros or Self Before Bros?

I finally understand now why I don’t like the ending of Toy Story 4 and how it made me cry like a little bitch again like the third installment did. It’s upsetting to me because I don’t buy Woody’s decision to stay with Bo and leave his friends and his new kid behind.

I totally get that Woody may have chosen to be a lost toy because he feels no more purpose outside of Andy, and can’t let go of him, and maybe Bo symbolizes a connection to those early and simpler days (even though she’s entirely different now). With that in mind, I do like his self-appointed purpose of guiding forky as his development transitions from wanting to always be the favorite to using that knowledge and humility to help a new favorite toy adjust and understand its role for a kid and accepting that he is still loved regardless at the end of the day and has his family through infinity and beyond. But Woody abandons his new and old family for a new life, throwing out the whole loyalty to your kid aspect and not wanting to see Bonnie grow up. Woody’s decision in TS4 is basically if he stuck with the Tokyo choice in Toy Story 2. I like how TS4 wants to challenge the franchise’s conceptions on toys and their purpose, but it’s also insulting at the same time, attempting to demolish and reconstruct original elements.

Alternate Routes.

After being tossed away by Hannah, either have Gabby Gabby a) realize she doesn’t want nor need a child to play with her to be happy and embrace the lost toy life, or b) double down on her insecurities and blame Woody forever getting her hopes up in the first place, challenging his ideals of a toy’s purpose and sense of loyalty toward a child, becoming an anguished, heartbroken, antagonist going after Woody in anger or stubbornly stewing away in the curio again.

Have Woody realize he doesn’t have to be the favorite or constantly played by his kid as proof he is loved and wanted by Bonnie, possibly overexaggerating his fear of abandonment earlier on. Have him rejoin the toys with a new sense of duty and belonging that is similar to his actions as a lost toy, but watching over forky’s adjustment and staying loyal to his family and friends with Bonnie picking him up and playing with him again similar to the alternate scrapped ending (possibly with his voicebox still removed because that was so heartwarming). This can also lend a nod to Woody’s struggle with being damaged and fixed by Andy in TS2. In TS4, this can be extended to Bonnie not only reassuring Woody she still loves and wants him despite being broken, but even if he’s unfixable.

Let Woody become a lost toy for his re-connection with Bo (emotionally and romantically stronger on both sides) for the “he’s not lost” line and the infinity and beyond line even separated, as let’s say that because he’s found someone he didn’t realize he’s missed so dearly due to fixating on Andy, he doesn’t want to leave her again not knowing if he’ll ever see her again and because he can’t let go of the past (my least fave solution but yes to toy romance and concept of lost toys having a purpose besides playtime meaning in each other awwe it’s too corny).

So... What’s the Point?

It doesn’t help that the movie gets confused about what message it’s really going for - toy independence but also stay loyal to your kid. In the deleted scene intro to “She’s the One” in Toy Story 4, Josh Cooley stated that he wanted to avoid Woody not changing as a character and essentially resetting the movie back to the beginning where Woody stays with Bonnie and the toys, despite him liking this ending which had come close to being very impactful and emotional. The more I think about this clip, the worse it sounds. Woody can absolutely be in the same place and change as a character at the same time, like overcoming his attachment to Andy by being there for his new kid who wrote her name on his boot like Buzz and Jessie, or wanting to continually guide and support forky as Bonnie’s favorite toy from his experience and knowing he is still loved and with the other toys. A movie can end with the characters physically in the same positions as the beginning, but with learned lessons and values that imply or confirm different actions in their future like bettering themselves aka staying true to Woody’s character and lending an interesting contrast to their earlier positions in the film, Josh Cooley. Similar visuals with different context behind them can be very powerful.

I really don’t understand why Josh Cooley and co. didn’t embrace their initial ideas because I would love to see them explored and he clearly wanted to include (at least some of them) in the final product. Editor Lee Unkrich of Toy Story 1 has said it is hard to cut things out in a film that you really love, worked hard on, and feel important to the story and characters. But you have to remove it or feel like you must in case the scene is affecting the film’s pacing/flow, etc. in referencing the Woody and Buzz bonding scene in Sid’s room, which Unkrich regrets shortening in hindsight.

But this also doesn’t mean you should throw every idea you have on the cutting room floor either, especially if it serves the story, characters, or plot in a beneficial way (hopefully all three). Josh Cooley’s Hungry Hippos idea and among other storyboard concepts I’ve expressed here are all really cool ideas and I wish they would’ve been explored as these are hinted at in previous films like Toy Story 3 and the vending machine scene, which can be developed further with the underworld of toys and gambling via board games concept. If you are passionate about what you’re making and have fun with it, the results will be great, something John Lasseter says at the end of the Toy Story 2 bonus features, and I fully believe that the things Cooley and others wanted to do could’ve worked out if they had that same drive to create and entertain while telling an engaging story that aligned with the characters and their journeys.

Seeing the scarce amount of bonus features in the Toy Story 4 bonus disk genuinely broke my heart. I’m not sure if they used practically all their generated ideas in the final film or had close to none in the first place to expand the world and rules of toys compared to the last films, but it’s a damn shame regardless to see little to no creativity in this product that has so much more unexplored potential and creative ideas waiting to be immortalized with the ogs of animation in film besides visual quality. Of course I know that Toy Story as a franchise will come to an end eventually, as “toys don’t last forever,” and another franchise may develop these things better or more extensively with toys or otherwise, but I would’ve appreciated at the very least, to have a Toy Story series that either stopped while it was ahead, or be fully treated with all the passion, enjoyment, and respect it initially had as its creators did while enriching the world and lives of these toys to its full potential.

also,

How dare they break this duo up wtf. To infinity and Beyond? more like my waterhole has been poisoned, snakes are in all my boots, buzz lightyear is not coming to my rescue, and the mission is fucked. smh. truly the end of an era.

#toy story 4 #toy story #toy story 4 spoilers #this rant is so long im so sorry #don't ask me how long this took #i guess ill tag this:#analysis of moi #i wonder if all this text will break tumblr

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spoopylay · 3 years ago

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hiii pretty

can i request some hq boys reacting to their s/o being offended in public??💕

i would really appreciate if you make some for Bokuto and Sakusa ❤️

i love your works. don’t overwork yourself baby😊

(sorry if i made any mistakes but english is not my first language☹️)

Tysm for requesting❤️!! (And that’s fine, English isn’t my first language too lol)

Hq boys x chubby s/o getting offended in public

Sakusa

You two were in the park, taking a walk and just admiring each other’s presence

Sakusa loves how you much you take care of your hygiene and loves how your body looks too.

Although some people think otherwise about your body.

A toxic friend of yours who has been trying to get with Sakusa approach you two.

“Heyy Kiyoomi~! Oh hey y/n.”

Lemme just search up how to beat the shit out of someone on wikihow rq

So anyways she’s talking and then insults you about how you look.

Obviously you get offended and leave and Sakusa is just looking at you like “👀 someone fucked up”

He knows what that girl said was very mean and decided to put her in her place

“You know if you were jealous of my beautiful s/o, you could’ve just asked them for some advice on how to look better :)”

Sakusa can be very mean with others when they upset you

Later he went to your house and told you everything that happened and tried comforting you.

“Y/n why would you care about what she thinks. You are the most beautiful, amazing, spectacular person I could ever ask for.”

Although he doesn’t do this much he gave you a kiss and the two of you ended up eating movies the rest of the night.

Bokuto

Bokuto was meeting your parents today

He was so nervous and would not stop asking if they were going to like him

“Y/n are you VERY SURE they will like me?”

“I really want this to go well!”

Later that evening he comes over to your house and meets your parents.

They were a bit skeptical

“I still can’t believe our y/n was able to get a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, considering the fact that they look like that.”

You’re parents have always been very critical towards you but you were able to deal with it.

But now that they said it in front of YOUR boyfriend you now start to worry.

“What if Bokuto doesn’t like that anymore?”

“What if he wants to break up.”

You immediately run up to your room before the tears could start spilling out of your eyes.

Bokuto doesn’t realize it until a couple minutes later that what your parents said really hurt you.

He walks into your room and finds you crying, so he sits in your bed next to you and wraps his arms around your torso.

“Baby what’s wrong,” he asked.

You then go on to explain that what your parents said maybe made him think that he might to break up with you.

Bo let’s out a small chuckle and gives you a kiss on your forehead.

“Y/n I would never ever break up with you. You’re so beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, funny, etc. What your parents say won’t ever change how I see you.”

Oikawa

You and Oikawa had just started dating

How it started was you would occasionally help out with setting up stuff for his team and he just caught feelings for you from there. Not to mention that he also fell in love with how you looked. Like c’mon, that ass was lookin too fine.

Anyways, he word eventually had gotten around and people were happy for you two lovebirds.

But the fans girls were ready to rip you to shreds.

At this point they wanted you dead because of how many times they’ve seen you and Tooru holding hands in the hallway.

One day after practice, you were waiting for Oikawa to finish up with practice. You were just looking down at your phone until a girl approached you.

“Hey! So I hear that you and Oikawa are dating? Gosh do I feel bad for him! He’s probably just dating you out of pity. Like come on, who would actually date someone who looks like YOU?!”

You looked at this person like they were a whole different species for a second. Like EXCUSE ME, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?

“Ok listen, I don’t know if anyone told you by now but bitchy isn’t a good look on you. You and your fan behaviour can go somewhere else cause I’m not taking your bullshit today,” you said walking away.

Although you kept a brave face on, deep down you were a bit hurt . Did Oikawa really date you out of pity?

You got a text from Oikawa asking where you were. You didn’t wanna talk so you told him you didn’t feel well so you left a bit early.

You see, since you two started dating he developed some type of sixth sense where he can always tell whether or not something is bothering you.

And in a time like this, his senses are telling him that something is bothering you and that you weren’t sick.

He later knocks at you door and you answer

You see your boyfriend at the door and was like, “ 👁👄👁 well shit.”

“Y/n something is wrong, so spill it.”

“DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME,” you loudly blurted out.

“Wha-, of course I do y/n, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because well... I look like this and I-,”

Oikawa put his finger on your lips so you can be quiet and proceeded to say, “ y/n I don’t know what has got you think this lately but it’s wrong. Of course I love you and what do you mean your look like that? All I see is a badass person with godly looks that could kill. Also trust me, if I didn’t like you I would’ve straight up told you.”

Kuroo

You just got out of a toxic relationship with your ex.

You’re now with a new guy named Kuroo, a third-year at Nekoma high school and captain of the volleyball team.

Your boyfriend legit adores you, from your chubby cheeks to your squishy hips, he loves it all.

He was taking you out on a shopping date at the mall because he LOVES to spoil you.

You guys were walking out until your ex saw you and you saw them.

The two of you exchanged looks and he walked over to you.

“Hey y/n, long time no see. I see that you’re with a friend, huh?”

“Actually, he’s a my boyfriend.”

Your ex then walks over to Kuroo and gives him a pat on the back saying, “ I am so sorry you’re being put through this. I know it’s hard dating an ugly piece of shit.”

Your ex the walks away laughing while you’re just standing there trying to process what the hell just happened.

The rest of the day you stayed silent, only speaking when it’s very important

Kuroo was trying to get you to talk the entire day but couldn’t even get a peep out of you.

At some point he got fed up and threw you over his shoulder and placed you on his bed.

“Y/n we don’t hide secrets from each other. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

“Am I good enough for you?”

“Good enough? You’re more than good y/n. You’re perfect. You’re absolutely amazing and I would never second guess our relationship.”

#haikyuu x chubby reader #haikyuu x plus size reader #chubby reader #plus size reader #haikyuu x chubby!reader #x chubby reader #haikyuu x gn!reader #oikawa x chubby reader #bokuto x chubby reader #sakusa x chubby reader #kuroo x chubby reader

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just-some-random-blogger · 3 years ago

Text

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."

285 notes · View notes

batsforbadones · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 219 times in 2021

16 posts created (7%)

203 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 12.7 posts.

I added 39 tags in 2021

#slasher x reader - 9 posts

#slasher x you - 7 posts

#slasher fic - 5 posts

#slasher - 4 posts

#slasher meme - 3 posts

#brahms heelshire - 3 posts

#brahms x you - 2 posts

#slasher memes - 2 posts

#house of wax - 2 posts

#jed olsen - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 76 characters

#i want to--- write the brahms one. i think i will try the brahms one *cries*

My Top Posts in 2021

Ahhh I love your writing so much! Could I request ghostface calling the reader up on the phone taunting her, then end in some nasty stuff happening?

I decided to do Jed :) Idk I feel like he or Billy would be the most fun to have mock you over the phone. There it was, that light sound that brought with it such heavy air. In your pants and paint stained shirt, you shot up from your bed, grabbing the phone embarrassingly fast.

"Hello?" You breathed into the receiver. The silence made your stomach flip. Your breathing shook, a hand crawling to your throat. "Answer me." You croaked.

"Hi." The hand crawled up to hide your face. Your knees joined, and soon you sat in a small ball. You bit your thumb, your toes curling into the bed sheets. "Who am I speaking with?" There it was- that gravel- that airy, rough voice that sent a shot of adrenaline straight down your spine and into your cotton pants.

"Y/n. Y/n." You repeated. "Is this the creep? I told you to stop-"

"People tell me to do a lot of things. That doesn't mean I have to listen to them. Even less, you. You love when I do things you tell me not to." You huffed, the denial dying on your tongue as you heard the knock outside your window. You flinched, thighs catching the hand you hadn't noticed had come to rest on your warm sex. "Legs open, slut."

Your obedience was immediate and explicit, yanking your pants down to spread your legs and present your needy hole. A laugh from the phone shot through you, making you squirm a bit, but not enough to knock your knees back together. You wanted him to see. You wanted him to mock and tease and-

"God, you're so fucking weird, you know that?"

"I'm not weird." You snapped. You struggled to identify any conviction in the statement.

"You so are. I mean- picture this," You squeezed your eyes shut. "Some weird bitch, alone in her sleazy, lock broken apartment, talking to some peeping tom with a murder hard on over the phone- And then she spreads her legs, practically begging to get fucked and killed by said peeping tom- What is this, Twilight?" He was a comedian, obviously.

"Fuck you."

"Fuck yourself." He snapped. Your fingers sank into your cunt at his command. He let out a blood curdling laugh at the sound of your broken moan. "Jesus, you are fucking weird. Would you fuck yourself with my knife if I gave it to you?"

"You have a knife?"

"I have two. Ones a tactical knife. Real pretty. Real long. The other one is between my legs and it's seven inches- Real pretty. Real long-"

"Oh fuck- Stab me. Stab me. Stab me-" You whispered.

"Really?" With that word, the line went dead-

And your window slid open.

122 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 00:21:21 GMT

I will never forgive him for giving us both when we deserved neither

123 notes • Posted 2021-07-04 22:21:14 GMT

Hello, this is my first time here... Well, I could place an order, if possible.

What will be the reaction of the Slachers (Michael, Jason, Brahms, Vincent, Bo and another killer of their choice) to the reader who acts so sweetly and protectively with them and the people they care about, but it has a sadistic side and even a little cruel with the words when they are people she doesn't like.

welcome to the good burger home of the good burger, can i get your order- I only write for Brahms, actually. I need to watch House Of Wax, soon, though.

- You mean his ideal type? - Only loves and cares about him? About his wants and needs? Treats him like a good boy? A loving nanny? Is that what you mean? - Hates the people that come in and make him sad as much as he hates the people that make you sad? -So you love him. That's all Brahms sees. He encourages this ever chance he gets. He fawns and praises- Oh you're so pretty when you're mad, Y/n, please, don't ever change? -You're perfect. You're protective and loving and accommodating- God, how fucking dare you make him feel so precious and treasurable. -You've put yourself in treacherous waters. His only solution is to become more obsessed. He's your everything, right? All of that defending, and praise- All of that passive aggression when he's insulted- He's clearly, your everything- Why can't you be his?

134 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 01:16:27 GMT

Could you place my order if possible, please ...

How will the Slachers (Brahms, Michael, Jason, Vincent, Bo and other assassines of your choice) look when they are sick and how will the reader take care of them?

welcome to good burger, home of the good burger-I'm in a new and spooky mood my friends with it being the start of October, so time to answer some Slasher fucker ask! hopping back into the grind! BRAHMS

-Always fun to characterize what childish mannerism Brahms will adopt in certain situations. -On one hand? Absolute wreck. Doesn't want to move. Begs nanny for a kiss even if it means hey tgets sick- Other hand? Busy body. He just can't accept the idea that he's ill. He has to bring in food. He has to keep you safe? How can he keep you safe when he's like this? -Does he want you to make him soup and tuck him in? Or does he sob through mucus in the walls, afraid of appearing weak to you in a way he can't control? He's a creature of self-prescribed submission. There's still control in that. -His immunity is godly in the first place. He's literally adapted to being sub-human. He's your big, strong man- He doesn't feel very big and strong. -Would probably tough it out like the absolute lumberjack he is and then have a very long mental trial with himself about it. Sick time is not a good time. Brahms no likey. VINCENT

-He feels so fucking bad. The level of self-hatred running through this man's veins as you as him what's wrong. He can't stifle the cough. What a fucking embarrassment. He can't do anything right- He can't even keep his body in shape. -There's no toss up about what Vincent does. He toughs through it. Even when he's shaking because god, his body isn't used to this level of weakness, he's still trying to maintain hand strength enough to carve and meld. -''Why didn't you finish your sculpture?" He gives you this silent, tilted stare with a light shift in his stance as if to say 'I didn't like it', but in actuality, he was having these terrible spasms from the chills- -Absolute wreck. With Brahms, its fine. He's not getting infected by anything severe- Vincent would be having hot flashes. He is a walking encasement of stuffy conditions. He's going through hell, and he refuses to let you see. -He's already enough of a mistake. He doesn't want to burden you anymore. BO

-No toss up. This man has never been inflicted with an illness a day in his life, and it ain't gonna start here. He's entirely capable of powering through it. Sniffles at best, but this cold blooded mama's boy ain't lifting a finger to exist if he knows you're going to nurse him back to.... well, not having a runny nose. -If you can't cook, you would've learned how by now. Baby Boy is laying on the couch with a quilt on him. He's got his sprite and his crackers and he's watching something about deers while you hold his hand. Chicken noodle soup- The fixin's. -Him calling you mama is a Freudian slip. -It won't happen again, he swears it.

250 notes • Posted 2021-10-03 07:23:56 GMT

hcs for someone walking in on danny, joe, brahams, and frank doing the do w their s/o?😳

PLEASE basically murdered me with this ask. I'm foaming at the mouth stfu omg- DANNY- -Definitely fucking you in the middle of the trial -Every other survivor could not give less of a fuck. As far as they're concerned, the longer he holds out, the longer they have to get generators done. Easy win. -You're fucking by a generator though, and Felix rounds the corner, shouts, and then quickly turns away, mumbling something a kin to a prayer. -"Who was that?" Danny asks. "Blonde one? Uh-- fucking--- Felix! Felix, right?" He comes practically on command, dropping you down by the generator. -Two screams and a couple of palette smacks later, and Danny is back by your side while Felix is being lifted up into the sky by the Entity's grubby little claws. - - "I asked him to join, cause he was like- totally pitching a tent, but he turned me down, weird, right?" -"Turned him down?" Felix would ask, back at the campfire. "I was the one that asked to join-" JOE- -If I'm not wrong you mean YOU Joe which ??? omg ?? thank you for this??? probably a typo and you meant Joey but I'm going to give myself the benefit of the doubt -He's a normal guy, remember? He's going to react normally. With shock. He curses, jumps up, and hides the both of you as quickly as he can. It's a normal thing to have happen. That was on him. He'll apologize. He didn't lock the door. He made the mistake. -He wouldn't get jealous of something like this, genuinely. This is a normal thing. All of his freak outs have been sourced back to you and something that actually matters. Like that waiter asking for your number and you being too dumb to realize that they were flirting, Y/n, you silly goose. Or that man at the train station that tried to take pictures of you- THOSE were causes for concern. -He doesn't like that your first instinct is to go and explain yourselves, though. It wasn't like you were fucking in public- This is YOUR house, silly. -He can fuck you whenever he wants :) -He's quick to talk you back into bed. Societal expectations be damned, baby- All we need is now- -And all he needs is you. BRAHMS- -Stops kind of like how dogs stop fucking when you yell at them. -At first, he's just pulling back, coming out of a bit of a blur- -Then he's scrambling off with murderous intent. I don't doubt for a minute Brahms would kill someone with his dick still out. He's on you one second, off the next, and then back on you, going even harder, and there's a dead body to the left of you. His hands are soaked in blood, and he is sinking into you again without hesitation. -His hand prints are starch on your thighs. -He's seems more vicious when he comes back. Brahms is a moaner- an egregious one at that, but now he's borderline sobbing- He's so mentally over stimulated he's practically foaming at the mouth. His murder hard on is vile- -He's an instinctually driven guy. Anything to get that cave man brain of his up and active is going to make the experience all the worse better. FRANK- -Doesn't stop. Won't stop. He's busy making you busy. Best you're going to get from the guy in terms of reaction is a quick over the shoulder flip of the bird, but even then, he doesn't stop. He doesn't even turn his head. -He's busy. -After the poor fucker leaves, he'll probably mumble some half assed threat of violence- Something really gory and vile- Will potentially kill your vibe, but once again- The man is busy. -Your hole is so good he's not thinking straight, truly. -"I should've stabbed them. Fucking knock- god it can't be that fucking hard- jesus- fuck- fuck -f ucking- right through the fucking eye socket I'm- God- damn-"

816 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 00:54:13 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i cant believe my longest tag is me foaming about brahms #im not shocked #slasher x reader

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fantasticstoryteller · 3 years ago

Text

New Amsterdam Chapter 91

“I give up,” muttered Wade.

[For a girl almost two meters tall with insanely huge wings, she can disappear.]

{People say the same thing about us. She did say we helped raise her after all.}

[I thought we agreed that if we had raised her she’d be dead—]

“There you are.” Wade turned at the thud behind him and looked at Angel. She tucked her wings against her back as she looked at him. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

{But—we’ve been looking for her.}

“You have?” he asked.

“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you,” she said. “I even stopped by Stark Industries, just in case you were shadowing Peter to work, but you weren’t there. I had to tell bad heart boy that his girlfriend is safe anyway, and I learned something interesting.” She calmly perched on the edge of the roof and stretched her wings out, feathers rustling slightly in the breeze.

“What did you learn?” asked Wade as he leaned against the door to the rest of the building.

“Cats don’t lay eggs.”

{Didn’t expect that.}

[Do cats lay eggs where she’s from?]

Wade thought that was a good question, so he repeated it. She shrugged. “I don’t know, really,” she said. “Pretty much all the animals I’ve interacted with where I’m from are pigeons, rats, slimes, and this bizarre pink fuzzy thing that keeps escaping its home dimension to follow Dr. Strange like a puppy. It’s about two stories tall, covered in eye-smarting pink fur, has three eyes, and fangs. Oh, and it sucks blood.”

“What blood?” asked Wade.

“Whatever happens to be trying to piss of Dr. Strange. It’s attacked Tony several times, but the fangs can’t get through the suit.” She curled her wings back to her body, but held them loosely against her. Her half braid dangled in the wind.

“Why did you think cats laid eggs?” Wade asked. He knew they didn’t. He’d been in Stark’s basement (not as creepy and gory as he’d hoped) and watched the cat give birth in the incinerator.

“Oh, the cat—or, well, the thing that looks like a cat—the street kids adopted laid eggs,” she commented calmly. “Oh, and one of the kittens? On Stark’s desk? It went giant and green and nearly took off the hand of one of the people in the office that Pepper was pissed at. It was great.” The girl grinned.

Wade blinked. “What?” he asked, feeling like he’d missed part of the conversation.

“I might have stayed to spy a little. In my defense; I had no idea where you were,” the girl continued.

[And we’re back to the starting point. Why does she want to talk to us?]

Good question. Wade repeated it. She sighed. “Something is happening I don’t understand,” she said. “I don’t know if this is a good thing, a bad thing, or an anomaly that I’m putting too much thought into. I need someone to talk to, to bounce ideas off of.”

{Wait—and she came to us?}

Wade shared Yellow’s incredulity. “Why me?”

“Because you understand how I’m not from around here. Your mind doesn’t work like other people’s,” Angel explained.

Well—that was all true. Wade knew that Angel was Not From Around Here in a way that other people didn’t, or couldn't understand even if she explained it to them. And even then, most of the people in New Amsterdam would just think that she was a crazy mutant and might even try to restrain her for her own good.

[I don’t think that would turn out well.]

“All right,” said Wade as he plopped to a sitting position, back still against the door. “Ask me!”

She slid to a sitting position, her back against the roof ledge, as she responded. “First,” she said grimly, “I have to give you some context. Do you remember me telling you how I came here on the RPG quest from Hel?” He nodded. “All right. I sort of found the person I’m looking for, but there’s something strange going on.”

Wade was basically the definition of strange. “Alrighty then,” he said as he slapped his knees. “Give me deets! Roll the gossip! What’s the down low?”

“Really low,” Angel said as she leaned forwards. “All the way from Hel, herself.”

Wade perked up. “Herself?” he asked.

Angel explained. She explained that, in her world, one of Loki’s children was his daughter Hel, and that she ruled her own underworld realm and seemed, from Angel’s descriptions, to babysit souls between reincarnation.

{Ask if Hel dressed like Bo Peep!}

[Do not. She has a serious problem here.]

Angel explained that the person she was looking for—that she now referred to as “BB” for some reason—

{I wonder what it stands for?}

And about the insane power boosts that “BB” got from stealing souls. “You’re right,” he said. “It’s like a shitty RPG; complete with evil boss to kill.”

“Not kill.” Angel scowled and, for just a moment, looked just like Peter. “I have to take her back—whole, healthy, and in possession of the souls she’s stolen or Hel can’t get them back and might not be able to fix balance again.”

That—actually made an absurd amount of sense. “So—what’s your question?” he asked.

“Why does she seem weaker in this world?” Angel asked.

{Um—what?}

Wade repeated the very good question. Angel explained. “The more of the souls she harvests, the stronger she is. The more complete her control over the people she’s turned is. At this point she should be able to control people who are mere susceptible to being changed, whether or not they already have.”

“Makes sense,” Wade allowed.

Angel got up and began to pace, scowling, wings partially unfurling and then furling back into place as she moved. “Exactly!” she said triumphantly. “Except—she can’t. She can’t even completely control the ones she has changed.”

“Um—what?”

Angel sighed. “BB,” she said slowly, “does this—thing. This thing turns humans into these bizarre human/spider hybrids which are then—or have been up until now—in her complete control.” She sighed, and drooped a little, the wings hanging low.

[Fascinating. They seem to be an accurate representation of her mood.]

{Like a mood stone without the color!}

“I met one,” Angel said. “Daredevil and his—partner? Friend? Rival? Ninja assassin Elektra,” the girl continued, “were fighting it.” She paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. “Although, they weren’t fighting it very well. Is it possible you could, like, help him with that before she uses her monsters to take over the city?”

[She has a lot of faith in us.]

{I thought Daredevil pinned us to a wall with our own sword last time we spoke to him?}

“Don’t think that’s feasible,” Wade said.

She shook her head. “I hope they don’t die. Anyway, the one they were trying—and failing—to kill wasn’t being controlled. It wasn’t even trying to hurt them; just move them out of the way.”

“Why?”

Angel met his gaze firmly. “Because they were standing between it and where it thought the children it had back when it was human are. Actually,” she added thoughtfully, “I’m standing between it and the children. And maybe Tony. Point is—it wasn’t under orders. It was working on its own. It’s fighting her control, and it shouldn't be able to.”

“Because BB is now supercharged?” Wade hazarded.

{Why isn’t she talking to Peter? We’re barely following the conversation!}

[I’m following it just fine. The super villain's power is nerfed and she doesn’t know the reason why.]

“Have you ever been to a dimension that had a BB of its own?” asked Wade.

“Well—once, but only when this nonsense had just begun. And they almost killed each other,” Angel admitted.

“What stopped them?” Wade asked with curiosity.

“I did. I need to take BB back home alive and in one piece.”

That—actually made sense. “Maybe,” he said slowly, “She doesn’t have the power she should, because it’s being shared. Maybe there’s another her, already here.”

Angel scoffed. “But that’s—” She stopped. Froze in place, like Spidey sometimes did during patrol when he realized something. “Oh, no,” she breathed as her eyes went wide at whatever revelation was spinning across her head. “I’ve got to go!” she said as she whirled and dove over the edge of the building taking off—towards Stark Tower.

Wade was about to go after her when he heard shouting and leaned over to see a situation at the bank across the street. Well, he assumed it was a situation. Normal days at the bank didn’t end with the building circled by police and Feds—and did he spot SHIELD in the crowd? Why would SHIELD be there?

{Seems a little beneath them.}

[We need to check this out.]

#Spider-Man #Deadpool #Spideypool

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yuta-nakamots · 4 years ago

Text

friend in me - j.jh

Pairing - Jaehyun x Reader

Genre - College!AU, Fluff

Warnings - Alcohol consumption, college party, drunkenness

Summary - Not one for costumes, you weren’t over the moon showing up to a Halloween party dressed as Bo Peep with her three sheep. A drunk Buzz Lightyear and a handsome sheriff Woody quickly change your mind about that, though.

Word Count - 0.9k

A/N - this fic was actually inspired by this picture before he gave us the full version for halloween

Written for the #NeoHalloween writing festival hosted by @nct-writers. Check out the masterlist here.

You were never one for dressing up but this year, you had made an exception for your friends since somehow, one of them had managed to get invited to a Halloween party. It was being hosted by some senior you didn’t even know but you doubted they would even care since it was pretty much an open entrance anyways with how drunk everyone got at those parties.

Your group of four fit in with ease among the rest of the students at the party with your costumes, Bo Peep and her three sheep. Your friends had all but forced you to be Bo Peep, not wanting to waste this opportunity to see you in something that didn’t scream ‘tired college student’.

The costumes didn’t matter much anyways as you had all separated from each other mere minutes after arriving. Unlike the rest of your friends who had gone to the dance floor or the games being played, you stuck to the outskirts of the rooms, leaning up against walls as casually as your costume would let you.

Getting lost in the constantly shifting colors of the room thanks to the lighting, you stared absentmindedly among the crowd until you were rudely snapped out of it thanks to someone bumping into you. “Oh, hey there you cute little thing,” he said, words slurring together, “sorry I bumped into you, I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s no problem. Nice costume though.” You replied, taking in the stranger’s interesting Buzz Lightyear onesie.

His face lit up with a smile. “Thank you,” he exclaimed, “but it’s not really a costume. I’m actually a space ranger.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him. “Uh huh...if you’re really a space ranger, prove it to me.”

“I don’t think you wanna see that, miss. It’s quite dangerous for me to show you my tricks.” You couldn’t tell if this guy was just really good at acting or if he was actually being serious. “You see here-”

“Johnny! You’re wasted dude, come on, let’s go home.” Another stranger came up behind the one in the Buzz Lightyear onesie, except this one was dressed as Woody and his costume was actually quite good. “Sorry if he weirded you out, he gets like this when he’s drunk.”

“I’m not drunk, Jaehyun,” the one named Johnny whined, “I’m buzzed haha get it?” Woody, who you assume is Jaehyun, shook his head with a smile.

“It’s fine, really. He was just telling me about how he’s an actual space ranger.” You inform Jaehyun.

“Yeah and I was just about to show her too if you hadn’t butted in.” Johnny pouted.

Jaehyun made a questioning face at Johnny before turning back to you. “You must be Bo Peep, if I’m not mistaken.”

You nodded your head, grabbing hold of your dress and doing a little curtsy for him. “Right indeed, sheriff.”

“Ugh, that’s so cheesy dude.” Johnny interrupted.

“And if I guess again, I’m gonna say those are your friends over there dressed as the three sheep?” He asked, gesturing over to the game of beer pong at which all three played as a team, getting absolutely destroyed by a team of boys dressed as fruits.

Letting out a laugh, you once again nod your head. “Maybe I should’ve kept a closer eye on my sheep.”

“You guys look cute.” Jaehyun remarked, glancing between you and your near drunken group of sheep.

“I think I look cuter.” Johnny interjected, much to Jaehyun’s annoyance.

“Alright, mister space ranger. How about you go find yourself somewhere to sit down and stop ruining the moment I’m having with Miss Bo Peep over here.” You let out a small laugh at the way Jaehyun really did embody Woody quite well, even though Johnny was clearly breaking character as he grumpily walked over to a chair near the buffet setup.

Once Johnny was sat down and on his phone, Jaehyun resumed his conversation with you. “Sorry again about him, I should really be getting him home soon.”

“Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed the little show the two of you put on together.” Jaehyun mentally thanked Johnny for that,

“Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get your number.” Jaehyun said, the blush on his cheeks effectively hiding if he was genuinely blushing or not. “Maybe we can have our own little show as Woody and Bo Peep, you know?”

You chucked at his sudden bashfulness while telling him, “sure” as you pulled your phone out of your pocket.

“Your dress even has pockets?” Jaehyun asked.

“It does! I couldn’t believe it either.” You opened them up for him, stuffing your hands inside as you showed them off.

He took your phone from your hand and sent himself a message, smiling to himself as you hit send. You immediately looked at the screen once he gave it back to you. He had labeled his contact name as Woody with a cowboy emoji and his first message to you was ‘Howdy partner’.

You watched as he pulled out his own phone and responded back to his own message. ‘There’s a snake in my boot’. Though he quickly switched back to another chat, reading the messages and quickly turning around to where Johnny was seated, finding him already dozing off.

“Someone texted me saying I should take John home, I guess that’s my cue to head out.” Jaehyun remarked with a sigh.

“See you around, sheriff?”

“Definitely, Miss...”

“Y/n. But it’s Bo Peep to you.”

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playboyshiritorizawa · 4 years ago

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don’t leave japan! kenma

Pairing: timeskip!kenma x f!reader

Word count: 1.9k

Summary: It’s the last straw when you break up with your boyfriend, but can either of you live without the other?

Genre: angst with fluff at the end

Warnings: crying, breakup, I think that’s it

A/N: peep the anohana reference at the end. Might post a part 2 to this so let me know if you would be interested!

You had spent the past two hours waiting for your boyfriend to finish live streaming. He kept saying "10 more minutes..." trailing on to his viewers. Eventually you gave up and started setting up your cake, being sure that by the time you were done he would finally be ready. With a glow in your heart and a quick dust of your dress you got the courage to enter his gaming room.

"Kenma are you ready? I'm really excited to go out tonight-"

"Why don't we just go out another night." Your heart dropped, it was your birthday after all. He already promised he would go out with you tonight. There's no way he could have forgotten. "It's just a Thursday, why would we go out on a Thursday?" He did.

"But Kenma-"

"My god Y/N can't you take a hint!" It was the first time he had faced you all night. Your eyes began to sting as he lashed out at you. "I'm sorry, but I don't see how this is my fault." He turned back to his game adding some commentary after apologizing for the interruption as you stood there shocked.

"..my friends were right, I was only going to get hurt in the end." You heard Kenma tsk at you as if you were nothing more than a nuisance. "I'm breaking up with you." Kenma ripped off his headset, eyes bewildered as he faced you.

"What?!"

"I moved half way across the world to a country I barely speak the language of and have no friends," your voice quivered. "Just to be treated like shit." Eyes leaking, you watch as Kenma scans your face for any kind of hidden motive. "I don't ask much of you Kenma, all I wanted was you to remember my birthday and spend some time with me."

Kenma quickly got up as he saw you start to run out of the apartment. He trailed you but before he knew it you were already out the door and disappeared down the hallway.

"Y/N! Please, I'm so sorry! I will do anything to make it up to you." He called out after you as you rushed to put your shoes on, not even worrying about grabbing your keys. "I promise I'll do better! This is my first serious relation-"

"Cut the bull shit Kenma, it's not an excuse to treat your girlfriend like shit. You treat random girls on the internet better than you treat me. You don't think I don't notice how much you flirt with them? How would you like it if-" Your voice cracked. "This whole thing was a mistake."

Kenma watched as you ran out the door and he couldn't help but let out a defeated laugh. Tears escaped his eyes in his slouch to his game room. He looked up at the computer as he walked up, he leaned in quickly looking for the end button. He didn't even say goodbye and the end screen of his red eyes would soon be making it onto twitter.

He slowly made his way to your shared bedroom and fell onto the bed. He hugged your pillow tight to his chest as he buried his face. It still smelled like you, the thought caused him to start sobbing.

"I... love... you... please... don't... leave..." He pleaded into your pillow as if you could hear him. He needed you more than anything, he knew that was true. So why? Why did he have to mess everything up.

It had been three days since your fight and you were hiding out on Hinata and Bokuto's couch. You felt awful for just being there after all they were Kenma's friends, but you had no where else to go. It's not like it mattered anyway you would be gone by the end of the week. You would leave them money to cover you being there and you would never see any of them again. It would one day be a funny story that secretly pangs you that you would tell to your kids.

Not even a day later Kenma had released a statement saying he would be going on an extended hiatus. You know you shouldn't care, but you still worried about him. You loved him more than life itself and knowing Kenma he would not be taking care of his basic needs. You weren't sure if it was out of love or instinct, you picked up your phone, ignoring all the messages from Kenma, and called Kuroo.

"Y/N, oh my god do you know how worried everyone has been about you? Are you okay because I know Kenma's not at all." Your heart dropped.

"Can you please go over to Kenma's apartment and make sure he eats something. I have a feeling he hasn't been eating."

"Ok is that all you wanted to talk about."

"If you could continue doing that until Kenma feels a little better, I know he'll find another girl to replace me soon enough. Don't tell anyone, but I'm leaving Japan Friday and I don't plan on returning."

"No, Y/N you don't have to leave. I know this isn't what you want, you care about Kenma too much."

"Yes, that's the problem. I can't keep giving him my all for him to only give me 10% back. If I stay I'll just end up getting hurt even more."

"C'mon Y/N, just talk to Ken-" Before he could even finish his sentence you had hung up on him. Kuroo looked down at his phone. He did originally plan to see Kenma afterwork, but work could wait for now.

He made his way off the busy streets up into the large complex with a bag of food. You had even texted him to bring him some apple pie. It was comical really, anyone could see that. Yet you knew you wouldn't be able to help it. Kuroo took out the spare key and shoved open the door only to see Kenma balled up on the couch watching some cartoon. Kenma shot up hoping that it would be you, but he could only help but let out more dry tears at the sight.

"Why the hell are you watching Sailor Moon?"

"Y/N."

"What?"

"It's her favorite and I never wanted to watch it with her." Kuroo made his way around and squatted in front of his best friend. Undeniably he looked disgusting; greasy hair, dark circles, red eyes, knotted hair, tissues everywhere, leaky eyes.

"Here eat this." Kuroo shoved the take out in Kenma's face. He just slowly shook his head and Kuroo couldn't help but flick his friend right between the eyes.

"Hey what was that for?" Kenma said finally sitting up and starring at Kuroo in disbelief. Wasn't it obvious that he was in pain after losing you.

"Do you even know why I'm here and brought you food? Y/N!" The rooster headed boy couldn't help but get heated. "Even after treating her like shit she calls me to make sure your okay! Kenma you are honestly so stupid because I know no one else will ever love you how much this girl loves you." Kuroo threw the food onto the coffee table and started to head out.

"Wait she called about me?" Maybe she'll give me another chance.

"If you actually care about this girl you'll go to Hinata and Bokuto's place and convince her to stay in Japan, because if she leaves I'm going to be pretty upset about it too." Kenma shot up to his feet and starred at Kuroo in disbelief. "Oh yeah she told me she's moving back to the United States on Friday."

"No you're lying." Kuroo just let himself out as Kenma starred in disbelief at the door. You weren't really leaving Japan, were you?

Those words were what made him get ready for once. You usually helped him out with his hair and he desperately tried to blow dry and style it. As soon as he got changed he was out the door and rushing over to your hide out. If he did nothing you would be gone in four days and he knew it would destroy him.

As Hinata opened the door he instantly spotted Bokuto squatting in front of you. "C'mon Y/N-san, it's been 4 days and you've eaten nothing. At least have some water." He cooed to you as he pet your head. He couldn't help but ball up his fists at the sight. That should be him and no one else. Bokuto looked over and saw Kenma. He quickly threw a pillow into your face. "If you are looking for Y/N I have no idea where she is."

"I can see her right there."

"Well she doesn't want to talk to you." Bokuto crossed his arms as you slowly sat up. "Don't worry Y/N I won't let him near you." Kenma eyes prickled with tears as he slowly watched you grab Bokuto's arm.

"It's ok, Bo. I'll be fine." You gave him a soft smile. Your first smile in 4 days and Bokuto just sighed as he walked out of the living room and to the adjoining kitchen. Hinata quietly excused himself and Kenma came over in an awkward silence.

"Y/N I am so so sorry. I will do anything. Just please don't leave Japan." The last part was a whisper but you heard it. You sighed as you urged him to sit down on the other end of the couch.

"I don't know Kenma." You couldn't face him so instead you just starred down at your lap. "I can't be with someone who I'm not even sure loves me." You sat in silence for a moment before a loud sob cut through the air, surprisingly it wasn't you. It caught you by surprise, you had never seen him cry.

"Please don't say that!" Kenma looked up at you with streams running down his cheek. "I know I'm not the best boyfriend, but please don't doubt that I love you." He harshly wiped his eyes as he continued his ramble. "I hate that I even made you feel this way. Please I don't think I can live without you. These last 4 days have been absolute hell and I don't know what I would do with myself if you disappear from my life."

You couldn't help it as you covered Kenma's hand with your own. His crying soothed as he looked up at you. He launched himself into you burying his face into your chest. His sobs continued and soon enough you both were a mess. It took some time but soon enough you had both managed to calm down, in the process wrapping your arms around him slowly rubbing his back.

"I know I'm going to the US, I'm not sure if it will be for a week or forever. I really need some time to think and let everything settle." You paused hearing Kenma sniffle. "I really do love you Kenma, but I need you to put more effort in and I don't know if you can do that."

"Please, Y/N take me to the US with you. Let me prove, to you I'm worth it. I can't lose you." He paused looking up at you from your chest. You had no idea what would leave his mouth next, but you certainly didn't know how to react. "I love you Y/N. My love for you is the sort of love where I want to marry you."

#kenma #kenma x y/n #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma angst #kenma imagine

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raleighcarrera · 4 years ago

Text

cliché

ride or die | colt kaneko x mc (ellie wheeler)

an au where everyone is college friends and logan is getting married and the best friend of his ellie always hated is going to be logan’s best man. as the maid of honor, she’s probably expected to be at least a little nice to him.

for @rodappreciationweek, of course! day 7/wild card

(spoiler alert: i bent the rules of weddings for plot reasons so go easy)

tags: @choicesarehard, @lovehugsandcandy, @pixeljazzy, @troublemakerinspace, @dancingboba, @yaushie, @brightpinkpeppercorn, @tempesrature, @zigtheeortega, @beccadavenport, @theeccentricbibliophile

~15.5k words | M (18+)

she squealed, clapping her hands excitedly in view of the laptop’s webcam. “i’m so happy for you guys! seriously, this is amazing.”

from across the country, ingrid beamed, still holding her left hand aloft so ellie could see her ring. “did you know?”

ellie shook her head. “i knew he’d bought a ring but i didn’t know he was proposing now.” her attention turned to logan, “i thought you were waiting until your anniversary?”

he shrugged, looking just as excited as ingrid did. “i couldn’t wait anymore, it was driving me crazy.”

ingrid leaned her head on logan’s shoulder. “ellie, say you’ll be my maid of honor.”

“oh my god, of course i will!” ellie gushed, blinking away a sudden wave of emotion. “please, you guys know i’d do anything for you.”

the two of them exchanged a glance. “glad to hear you say that,” logan said slowly, “because i already asked colt to be my best man.”

the smile dropped off her face. “are you kidding me?”

“come on, it won’t be that bad,” ingrid rushed to assure her, “you’ll hardly have to deal with him. but -- while we’re breaking bad news to you...” she pursed her lips, and then shrugged. “we already set a date, too.”

“it’s in three months,” logan interjected helpfully.

ellie felt her eyes bug out. “three months?”

“el, we got our dream venue,” ingrid sighed wistfully, “you’re going to die when you see it. it was the only saturday they had available for, like, the next five years. it’s in santa monica overlooking the water and it’s just -- it’s perfect.”

“that’s really soon,” she said dumbly, “we have a lot to do.”

“totally.” ellie watched as ingrid shifted from blushing bride in love to ruthless, no-nonsense delegator. “we’re going to cram as much of it in as we can when you’re home for spring break. i already made us appointments to go look at dresses and tuxes and then -- we’ll figure everything else out when you’re here.”

the thought of spending her spring break shopping with colt kaneko was already making a headache start to throb behind her eyes. but ingrid and logan were her best friends. and they deserved the wedding of their dreams.

she pasted the biggest, most extreme smile she could muster on her face. “sounds great, you guys.”

ellie relished the long flight home from new york to los angeles, well aware that it was probably going to be the last moment she had to relax until the end of the summer.

there had to be some irony in the fact that she was midway through pursuing her ph.d and more stressed out about her college friends’ wedding than anything else.

but her coursework was going well. everything in her life was falling into place perfectly, exactly how she’d always envisioned it.

this was the wrench in the plan. how she was supposed to make time to come back home for ingrid and logan’s wedding when she’d already committed to spending her summer in miami doing field work was a problem she didn’t need.

so she spent the flight napping, enjoying the five hours in the air as the only chance she’d get to kick back during her spring break. if she knew ingrid at all, she was going to be barking orders from the moment ellie’s feet touched orange county soil until the second they left.

still, there were at least a few hours she could spend delaying the inevitable.

riya picked her up at the airport and ellie threw herself into her arms eagerly for a giant hug. “oh my god, i am so glad to see you. thank you for picking me up -- i pretty much have bridal boot camp all week.”

“ingrid’s got it all planned out, huh?” riya asked, helping her get her suitcase in the car with a grin. “look, it probably won’t be that bad. you’re you -- when darius and i got married you were the reason we didn’t even need a wedding planner!”

“that was different,” ellie explained, as riya started driving them back to the city, “you and darius are normal. maid of honor doesn’t mean the same thing to ingrid that it meant to you, trust me.”

“well, i believe in you,” her oldest friend declared, “and even if it’s awful, just come over afterwards and we can drown ourselves in wine.”

“done and done,” she sighed. “i’m sorry i probably won’t be around much this week otherwise. i know it’s been forever since we caught up.”

“please, i can’t even imagine how busy you are,” riya said, waving her apology off, “you’re getting close to the home stretch, eh?”

ellie shrugged. “i still have two more years of study, but -- yeah, pretty much. it’s crazy.”

“so crazy,” riya agreed, “but you will absolutely see me and dare in miami as soon as you get set up there.”

the thought of it, with everything she knew was ahead of her this week, sounded like nothing short of paradise. “can’t wait,” she said genuinely, sighing as the car slowed to a stop in front of the house she’d grown up in. “wanna come in and say hi to my dad?”

“uh uh,” riya chided, “i’m done being the buffer between you two. sooner or later, you’re going to have to have that long overdue heart-to-heart.”

“okay, dr. phil,” ellie groaned, “thanks a lot.” her phone lit up with a text from ingrid as soon as she closed the car door.

be at your house in 5 it said, pulling a sigh of relief from deep within her.

saved by the bell.

ellie only had a moment to drop her bags and shout a quick hello to her dad before she heard a car horn honk and rushed back outside, leaning over the car’s center console to give ingrid a big hug hello.

“boy, am i ever glad to see you,” her friend said. “everything is already such a disaster. the venue is giving me such an attitude about moving our ceremony outside and my sister is an out of control diva who is, like, demanding to be allowed to read a poem before we say our vows and -- i swear i’ve almost killed logan at least twice.”

“wow. okay, well -- all of that sounds fixable.” though already she knew the next three months were going to be nothing like the ramp up to riya and darius’ wedding. ellie stifled a sigh.

“oh, it will be,” ingrid threatened darkly, “we’re doing everything at once today. dresses -- tuxes -- groomsmen, bridesmaids. i tried being nice about it, but do you know what i realized? some people don’t deserve to be allowed to make their own decisions. so i changed our appointment and i’m going to supervise and everyone who acts normal will be allowed to come help me pick out my dress at our new appointment on wednesday.”

ellie blinked. “whatever you want,” she said finally, her brain still working to process what the hell she was talking about, “it’s your day.”

“yes it is,” ingrid agreed viciously, “i’m glad you’re on board. come on.”

ellie followed behind her into the boutique they’d arrived at, immediately catching sight of eight or so of their closest friends from college, plus logan’s cousin and ingrid’s sister, the latter who was staring at a long, pink dress with her arms crossed petulantly over her chest. “i’m not trying that on,” she said, as ellie stepped closer, “it’s going to accentuate my shoulders.”

“look, brat,” ingrid started, lowering her voice to the dangerous timbre ellie had come to associate with group project members who weren’t pulling their own weight, “get in that dressing room and put this on right now or so help me god --”

“ellie!”

she turned around and saw logan, the distressed look on her face instantly melting into one of relief. “oh my god, hi,” she laughed, rushing over for a hug, “it’s so good to see you!”

“hey, back at you,” he grinned, “seriously, i know this probably isn’t how you wanted to spend your spring break, but -- thank god you’re here. ingrid needs all the help she can get.”

ellie pulled out of his arms and saw that he was wearing an elegant black tuxedo, the lines of which settled nicely on his shoulders and seemed to suit him perfectly. “okay, but -- this is a great tux.” she called out to ingrid over her shoulder. “come look at this one.”

ingrid walked over and gave logan a cursory glance. “i hate it. get changed.”

logan shot her an amused glance, but dipped back into the dressing room without a word. bless him, ellie thought, before drawing in a deep breath and asking, “okay, where do you want me?”

as if on cue, a harried shop attendant immediately dropped a pile of gowns into ellie’s arms. “follow me.”

the first dress she tried on was bright pink and heavily ruffled -- so ugly she honestly didn’t even want to show everyone.

but she hitched up the skirt and stepped out of the dressing room obligingly, standing in front of the mirrors and the rest of the bridal party for ingrid’s judgment.

you have the ideal body type, ingrid had explained nonsensically to her as they herded her off with the gowns, so you’ll try on all of them and then once we find one we like everyone else will try it on, too.

ugh. “it’s not... that bad,” ellie said delicately, once she was situated on the platform in front of the group.

“not if you’re little bo peep.”

god. she’d know that smug, arrogant, self-centered, self-obsessed, narcissistic egomaniac voice anywhere.

“hi, colt,” ellie said pointedly, without turning her head, “nice to see you, too.”

he stepped closer, directly into her field of vision. there was no avoiding looking at him, then.

colt was just as handsome as he’d been the last time she’d seen him, over a year ago at logan’s twenty-fifth birthday party, but this time, he was in a navy blue tux that had no business looking as good as it did.

he smirked at her. “as if anyone could miss you in that thing.”

ellie sighed, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling. formalwear could only go so far when it came to making him appear tolerable, it seemed. “do you always have to be the most insufferable person in every room you’re in?”

“not always, no. but i like to win.”

“it’s disgusting,” ingrid declared abruptly, before ellie could snap back at him, “please take it off. can you try on the purple one next?”

she ducked back into the dressing room, thunking her head softly against the wall once the door swung shut behind her. why me, ellie thought miserably, i’m a good person. this isn’t fair.

it took two and a half hours, but eventually, she’d tried on what felt like every single dress at the store. finally, once she’d wiggled into a gown that was a soft, sky blue, figure-hugging with thin straps and delicate lace accents over tasteful cut-outs, ingrid gasped, “that’s it! that’s the one.”

every bridesmaid, including ellie, sagged with relief. “great,” she smiled, “i’ll just get out of the way so everyone else can try theirs on, too.”

just before she stepped back inside the dressing room to get changed, she caught sight of colt, who was still standing around on their side of the shop for some reason. he was staring at her, face carefully blank -- though there was something in his eyes she couldn’t quite place.

as soon as he noticed she’d caught him looking, he stormed off.

once ellie was back in her street clothes, ingrid said, “i’ll finish up over here. can you please go make sure the guys are on the right track?”

ellie winced as she approached the men’s side of the store. half of logan’s groomsmen were dressed in navy, the other half in black -- logan had a white jacket on and one of their friends from college, brent, was inexplicably wearing pants that were powder blue.

“oh my god, ingrid’s going to kill you,” she said to logan. “i can see why she sent me over here to babysit.”

“hey, i’ve got it sort of under control,” logan said defensively, “she said she wanted slate grey. look at this.”

ellie cringed again as he held a jacket on a hanger aloft in front of her eyes. “that’s charcoal grey.”

the determined look on logan’s face crumpled immediately. “fuck. can you help me?”

she was already nodding before he finished his question. “just -- get in there and get that off before anyone sees. i’ll pull tuxes for everyone.”

it was only a few minutes before she was passing out new outfits, herding each of logan’s groomsmen into their respective dressing rooms one by one.

only one of them gave her any trouble about it. as soon as she passed him his tux, colt scowled, asking, “what is this?”

“a tuxedo,” she answered tersely, “presumably you’ve seen one before? like, an hour ago? those are all called tuxedos. maybe you never learned the word?”

he merely rolled his eyes at her. “why are you giving it to me?”

“because i want you to put it on. now. like, immediately.”

still, he just stood there. “i already tried on forty of them.”

“then one more shouldn’t make much of a difference.” she shoved his shoulder expectantly. “go.”

ingrid wandered over just as they all started to emerge. as they stood in a line outside the dressing room, she laid a hand to her heart and gasped. “oh my god, they’re perfect. baby, you did such a good job!”

“actually --” logan started, though he stopped abruptly as soon as he caught sight of the way ellie was frantically shaking her head from behind ingrid’s back, “uh, thanks. i want everything to be perfect for you.”

“oh my god, you guys can do something right,” ingrid sniffed, “i’m so happy. okay -- fuck it, let’s go get drinks. i’ll get the first round.”

a few of their friends cornered her as soon as she got her first drink. it was the same every time she came home; everyone wanted to know how new york was, how school was going, what the dating pool was like on the east coast and if she’d met anyone. they asked the same questions every time ellie was able to make it out so they could catch up, and she gave the same answers.

it was exhausting. she gulped down her glass of wine as quickly as humanly possible, just so she could have an excuse to escape back to the bar.

the bartender slid her a shot when he passed her refilled wine glass back to her. his smile was sympathetic. “you look like you need this.”

ellie grimaced at him, but immediately lifted the shot to her lips and knocked it back. “that obvious?”

“oh, yeah.” he placed his palms on the bar top and leaned in close, grinning brightly at her. “let me guess. family reunion?”

“worse,” she sighed, “two of my best friends from college are getting married. in three months.”

he whistled, slowly shaking his head. “brutal. i don’t think we have enough alcohol in the bar to help you with that.”

“tell me about it,” ellie laughed, taking a sip from her wine glass to chase away the burn of the shot she’d done, “you don’t even know the half of it.”

“well...” he smiled charmingly at her again. “my shift is over in twenty minutes. i’ll gladly listen to you complain, if you want.”

she blinked. “oh, i --”

“hey, don’t look now, but that guy over there has the angriest eyebrows i’ve ever seen.” the bartender leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “boyfriend?”

“what?” ellie turned around and followed the line of his gaze.

sure enough, colt was glaring at them from the booth with the rest of their friends, his eyebrows drawn together thunderously.

“oh my god, no,” she said, turning back around as quickly as possible, “never. we don’t even like each other.”

“right. well -- listen. if you do wanna pick this up some other time, here’s my number, okay? no pressure.”

she watched, dumbfounded, as he wrote it down on a cocktail napkin, printing his name evenly below it. ben.

all the girls cheered for her when she got back to the table.

“is that a phone number?” julia demanded, her grin wide and wickedly sharp. she reached over and plucked the napkin out of her hand. “jesus, ellie. you’ve been back in the city for, what, an afternoon?”

“give it,” she said, stepping forward as the rest of the girls passed it around the table, out of her reach, “oh my god, he was just being nice.”

“no, please,” gemma laughed, holding the napkin up over her head, “tell us again how you’re too busy to date.”

“i am too busy to date.” she bounced up on her toes and snatched the cocktail napkin out of her friend’s hand, folding it up and tucking it into the pocket of her jeans. “and i live across the country, remember?”

“hey, that doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while you’re home this week, right?” brent asked, making her aware, all at once, that the guys were officially clued into their conversation, too. “speaking of, ryan moore keeps asking me about you.”

beyond brent’s shoulder, colt was still staring at her. he looked tense, his grip firm on the glass in his hand. his jaw was clenched tight.

“can we talk about something else?” ellie asked finally, lifting her wine glass to her flushed cheek. “my love life can’t be that interesting to you guys.”

logan reached out and ruffled her hair. “hey, you’re our last single friend. you can’t blame us for being invested.”

“colt’s single,” she reminded him, before she could bite her tongue. ellie risked another glance his way and found him scowling at her.

“colt doesn’t count,” ingrid interjected, “he doesn’t have any social skills. you are a catch. you just need to put yourself out there.”

“and i promise, once i have my ph.d, you can set me up with anyone you want.” a discussion they’d had at least a thousand times before. ingrid looked as pleased about it as she’d ever been, which was to say not very much at all. before she could respond, ellie continued, “hey, will someone please play pool with me? i haven’t shot in forever.”

to her surprise, colt offered, “i will.” ellie slowly turned towards him and found him smirking at her again. “who knows what’d happen to your virtue if you went over there alone?”

fucker. he’d probably volunteered to go with her on purpose -- now there was no way for her to get out of it. and if she stayed at the table for one minute longer she was going to scream.

her eyes narrowed at him. “thanks.”

colt set up the table like she wasn’t glaring at him bitterly, humming to himself while he racked the balls and then passed her a cue.

“you’re awful,” she said, as she snatched it out of his hands.

he just grinned at her. “thank you. break?”

ellie leaned over the table to line up her shot, knocking the cue into the balls. two of the solids slid into the corner pockets. her hip leaned against the table as she watched him survey the setup critically, and she took advantage of the fact that his eyes were elsewhere to study him in turn, making note of what was different about him since the last time they’d seen each other.

he’d recently gotten a haircut, but was otherwise unchanged -- he wore the same leather jacket, had the same smug smile, was still so insufferably arrogant she found talking to him pretty much impossible.

“so, what’s your deal?” he asked suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts and knocking the striped number eleven ball smoothly into one of the side pockets, “you a rocket scientist or whatever yet?”

ellie rolled her eyes, trying not to flush when he lifted his head and looked directly at her. despite his many, many flaws, she’d always found him unnervingly hot. “my degree is in chemistry. so -- no. i still have two more years in the program.”

“yeah, but what are you going to do with it? once you’re a doctor.” even the way he said the word sounding mocking.

she ignored him in favor of focusing on the table, and knocked one of her balls in. once it was his turn to shoot, she answered, “if you need to know, my specialization is in environmental science. one day i’ll hopefully work alongside some of the best in the world to ensure environmental hazards are at an all time low.”

“so whaddya moving to miami for?” he asked, effortlessly sinking two balls into the pocket at once, “their environment is already pretty sweet.”

“the department is sending me to collect data from the water and air outside of the city,” she answered, her eyes on the table as she tried to locate her next best shot, “it’s for my dissertation. it’s only for the summer.”

“shame,” colt murmured, laughing under his breath when her next shot went wide, missing her target completely, “i’ll be stuck dealing with this mess on my own.”

“somehow i doubt that,” ellie said, “it’s only a timezone change. there’s still phones and video calls and plenty of ways for all of you to bother me.”

“only if you pick up.” smoothly, he sunk the last three striped balls, one after another. she scowled at him. “the way the rest of them talk about how hard you are to pin down you’d think you were the president or something.”

“i have a demanding course load,” she huffed out defensively, “so we should get started on planning their bachelor and bachelorette party before my flight back on sunday. that should be the only thing that’s still up in the air after all our appointments this week.”

“don’t even get me started on the concept of a joint bachelor party,” colt sighed, leaning over in front of the eight ball, “it’s going to be the lamest trip of all time. side pocket.”

“i don’t know,” ellie murmured, resting on her cue as the eight ball sailed effortlessly into the side pocket as indicated, “i think it’ll be fun.”

he straightened up and smirked at her, spreading his hands out wide as if to say look at me. what an asshole. “you would.” colt nodded at the table. his smirk lengthened. “looks like you still suck.”

ellie shoved her pool cue back into his open hand. “one thing you’ll never know,” she promised, spinning on her heel and striding back to the table as quickly as possible.

“thanks for all your help today,” ingrid said sweetly on the drive home. “i know it wasn’t easy -- dealing with my idiot sister and all of those guys.”

“colt was as terrible as ever,” she mused, officially thinking too much about it. “i don’t know how he never gets tired of himself. he is such a prick.”

“totally,” ingrid agreed, even though ellie knew she’d softened to him, lately -- though she wasn’t sure she’d ever understand why or how. “but he just picks on you because he likes you.”

ellie lifted her head from where it’d been leaning against the passenger side window and turned towards ingrid with a look of confusion contorting her expression. “what? no.”

“yes,” she insisted, “he’s wanted to bang you since freshman year.”

“okay -- you’re too drunk to be driving,” ellie laughed, though even she could hear the undercurrent of nerves in the tone of her voice, “he’s an asshole to everyone. it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“well, he sure doesn’t talk to me like he talks to you.”

ellie waved her hand dismissively. “because you and logan have been dating for, like, a hundred years. i’m positive he’s just as big a dick to gemma and julia and christie.”

“okay,” ingrid mouthed, arching her eyebrows at the road.

she furrowed her brow. “he is.”

“forget i said anything,” ingrid said breezily as the car slowed to a stop in front of her dad’s house. “i’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine, okay? seriously, thanks again for all your help.”

“anytime.”

dread filled her stomach as ellie dragged her feet up the path to the house. all the lights were on inside, which meant her dad was still awake. “hey pumpkin,” he greeted her, as soon as she toed off her shoes and dropped her bag, “long day?”

“you have no idea.” ellie walked straight to the sofa and flung herself down onto it face-first, groaning into the cushions. for a moment, it felt like she was back in high school, without a care in the world other than coursework and group projects and prom. she drew in a deep breath. “planning this wedding is going to be a headache.”

“you’ll pull through,” her dad assured her, “you always do.”

ellie pressed her forehead to the fabric of the couch and scowled, the freedom of her hair covering her face allowing her to express how she really felt. that was what everyone always said: she’d be fine. she’d figure it out. she’d make it happen.

part of her was so tired of always bending over backwards, always finding a way to make things work -- always being perfect.

some first day back it was shaping up to be.

“i guess,” she mumbled, letting herself sulk for one more long moment before finally lifting her head and sitting up straight. “are you working tonight?”

“yep -- on my way out now. glad i caught you, though. i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever.”

she winced, turning away from the disappointment in his eyes. “ingrid has a pretty full schedule for us this week, but maybe we can have dinner tomorrow.”

“sure thing,” her dad said brightly, pausing by the couch on his way out the door to gently grasp her shoulder. “i’ll see you in the morning, then. hang in there, kid.”

ellie slumped back into the couch, watching him go blankly. half of her was so exhausted she couldn’t imagine doing anything other than collapsing into bed for as long as humanly possible, but the other half of her still felt anxious and unsettled, the way she always did whenever she had to come home.

being back in los angeles always felt like losing control of her life. there was something about being around her old friends and her dad and other people’s expectations that made her feel not like herself -- like some kind of persona she was putting on so everyone would perceive her a certain way.

so she could look like she had everything figured out, so everyone would keep saying you’ll pull through. you’ll figure it out. you’ll make it happen.

the thought of keeping it all up for an entire week of wedding activity with ingrid and their college friends was daunting. worse still was ingrid and logan’s engagement party on friday night, hanging over her head as the last obstacle between her and her flight home to the solace of her silent new york apartment, where she’d be able to analyze soil samples in peace until her mind was quiet again.

the week passed by in a blur. true to form, ingrid kept her busy for a majority of her waking moments with dress shopping, fittings, a trip to the venue, the florist and the bakery and, finally, last-minute preparations for friday’s engagement party, which left ellie tying ribbons around party favors late into the night on thursday.

“i could kill logan,” she complained to riya in the middle of the one free hour she’d been able to steal away for a mani-pedi, “i swear to god i’ve been playing the part of the fiance since i got back.”

“it’ll all be over soon,” riya hummed sympathetically, “the wedding will be here before you know it.”

as she dressed for the engagement party, she repeated the words to herself over and over again in the mirror. it’ll all be over soon.

she arrived at the venue early. the first person she saw after she stepped out of her rideshare was colt, who was loitering by the entrance to the restaurant, smoking.

“some dress,” he smirked at her as soon as she got close enough to hear him, not even bothering to pretend like he wasn’t looking her up and down, “you trying to get laid tonight?”

“you know, ‘hello’ works just fine, too,” she said, pushing past him without a backwards glance. her face felt hot as she considered the comment, looking down at herself self-consciously. fuck him. i look nice.

fortunately, the party itself was less exhausting than she’d expected it to be. it was actually sort of nice to catch up with people she hadn’t seen since they’d graduated, and though she had to run through the familiar talk track she was getting sick of over and over again -- how’s school? how’s new york? what are your plans for after your thesis? -- the open bar made her hate it all a little less.

eventually things started to wind down, until it was late and only the wedding party was left. ellie teetered in her heels as she pretended to help ingrid clean up, shuffling around as inconspicuously as she could manage, given the drinks she’d had.

“are you drunk?”

she jumped, startled by the question. ellie’s lips pulled down into a frown as she noticed the out-and-out delighted expression on colt’s smug face from where he was suddenly standing next to her.

“no,” she lied, “and shhh. someone will hear you.”

“god forbid.” the shit eating grin on his face stretched further. “you want a ride home?”

ellie blinked. “from you?”

colt wasn’t at all deterred by the high arch of her eyebrows. he shrugged. “if we get out of here now we can probably avoid carrying presents to the car.”

that was all it took to convince her. she followed him out to the parking lot with a laugh, drawing up short when he stopped her in front of his motorcycle. she propped a hand on her hip and asked, “you still ride this thing?”

“it’s part of my image,” he answered, and as he came closer ellie found herself staring at the gentle slope of the smirk on his face. maybe it was the low lighting of the parking lot, but he looked a little softer than he had all week -- almost like when she’d first met him, in college, before he opened his mouth to say something rude and their relationship devolved into exchanged barbs and sidelong glares.

colt cleared his throat, looking down at the helmet in his hands. “here.”

she flushed, pulling it on as quickly as possible in the hopes that it’d cover her face before he noticed.

in all the years she’d known him she’d never actually gotten on the back of this thing. she’d seen him pull up to parties and speed away from them with plenty of girls holding onto his stomach, but she’d never actually thought she’d be one of them herself.

the bottle of wine she’d had was making it seem like no big deal, though, so she pressed up snugly behind him and rested her cheek on his shoulder like they’d done this enough times to form a habit.

and then they were back at her dad’s house, so quickly that ellie was almost sad about it. colt was actually mostly alright when he was quiet -- the speed of the bike hardly facilitated conversation -- and he was warm and solid against her while he drove, comforting her to the point that she was half asleep when they finally stopped.

she slid off the bike with a yawn, clumsily yanking the helmet off and handing it back to him. “thanks,” she murmured, glancing at the house and cringing once she realized all the lights were still on, meaning her dad was waiting up for her again. ellie lingered silently beside him, fidgeting.

colt hesitated. after a moment, he killed the engine. he pulled his own helmet off so she could see his face. “you okay?”

“yeah.” she pursed her lips, then exhaled, blowing a messy lock of hair out of her eyes. “i guess i am a little drunk.”

his lips pulled back into that stupid, familiar smirk. “i know. i saw you guzzling chardonnays back there.”

ellie leaned in over the handlebars. “stalk me much?”

“you wish.”

movement in her peripheral vision caught her eye and ellie sighed as she saw the curtains shift. colt followed her gaze to the house, then turned back towards her with an eyebrow quirked.

“is there a reason you’re still standing here?”

she rolled her eyes at him. “it’s complicated.”

he laughed. it was after midnight, and the sleepy street she’d grown up on was completely silent and dark, save for that sound. “don’t tell me little miss perfect has daddy issues.”

“what, you thought you had the monopoly on them?” she shot back, too drunk to stop herself.

surprise flashed across his expression for a split second before he laughed again. “touché,” he murmured, “i probably deserved that.”

ellie still didn’t move, standing at the front of the bike. they stared at each other, silence hanging in the air between them. it had to be the longest amount of time they’d gone without arguing since their freshman year.

that felt like a lifetime ago, but she still remembered what she’d thought when they first met at orientation.

cute, and then, once she found out that he was in the honors college like her, and smart, and eventually, once he opened his mouth, but a jerk.

“what are you staring at?” he asked finally, and though he was difficult to read on even her best day, when she had one-hundred percent of her faculties intact, she was pretty sure there was no malice in his voice -- just genuine curiosity.

“nothing. you’re being weird.”

he laughed again. it took her a moment to realize why it sounded so different than it usually did; most of the time he was laughing at her. but not tonight. “no i’m not.”

“yes you are.”

“okay -- you’re trashed. do you need me to walk you inside?”

all the lights were still on. yeah, that was just what she needed. the thought of colt and her father coming face-to-face made her own mouth curve into a grin. “no. but thanks for driving me home. that was almost decent of you.”

“well, i’d hate to be fully decent.” even his smile was different when he wasn’t making fun of her.

ellie forced herself to take a step away, though it was difficult -- some strange magnetic pull seemed to want to keep her in his orbit, to see if she could maybe make him laugh softly at her again.

as soon as she stepped back, the bike roared to life, though he didn’t pull out of the street until she’d wobbled all the way up the path to the front door and turned back to wave at him.

huh, she thought to herself as she ducked inside, wine-drunk acid swirling in her stomach with something else unidentifiable along for the ride, weird.

it wasn’t until she was tucked in bed that she privately acknowledged to herself, nice, though, too.

as expected, ingrid filled the weeks after her spring break with questions and complaining and dozens of skype calls.

ellie did her best to balance it all with school, which was ramping up as they got closer to the end of term, and packing for her move to miami, though on any given day she felt torn in at least ten different directions while she struggled to get everything together.

the sound of another incoming facetime call was going to haunt her nightmares. with a groan, ellie fumbled for her phone blindly, not taking her eyes off the instant noodles slowly spinning in her microwave.

“what now?”

“hello to you, too,” said a voice that definitely wasn’t ingrid’s, and ellie turned her head to see colt staring at her expectantly from the screen of her phone, jolting both from the surprise of seeing him and the sound of the microwave going off.

“colt?” she blinked, suddenly aware that she was in her pajamas and tugging self-consciously at the cropped tank top she was wearing. “what do you want?”

“we have to go over some things for the bachelor party,” he sighed, and when he shifted she saw that he was reclining in bed. her face flushed.

“bachelor and bachelorette party,” she corrected.

“whatever. is now a good time?”

ellie cast a glance around her apartment, which looked like a tornado had recently swept through it. her kitchen table was covered in textbooks and pages of notes, though the living room had half-packed boxes covering every available surface. “i guess. one second.”

she set her phone down to retrieve her instant noodles and then leaned it up against her toaster, standing in front of the counter to both stay in her phone’s field of view and shovel noodles into her mouth as quickly as possible.

“seriously?” colt said, “isn’t it ten p.m. where you are?”

“i’ve been busy,” ellie answered defensively, between bites, “some of us have lives.”

he rolled his eyes. “did you book your flight yet?”

she paused, fork halfway to her lips. had she booked her flight yet? “i think so.” ellie pursed her lips, and then remembered, “yes! it gets in at seven. i’ll meet you guys at the hotel.”

“okay. the rest of us are driving down together, god help us all.” he scowled.

“relax. it’s only, like, four hours to vegas, anyway.” she was the one who was going to lose two entire days to travel and timezone changes.

“do you want to sit in a car for four hours with everyone?” he smirked at the look that crossed her face. “i didn’t think so. how are the dinner reservations coming along?”

“good,” she nodded. at least she’d remembered to do that. “we’re all set for friday and saturday night. we can walk to both restaurants from the hotel.”

colt had been adamant about planning everything else, and she’d been all too happy to let him take the reigns. the last thing she needed to worry about was getting them into nightclubs and securing bottle service and busting her ass only for him to ultimately turn his nose up at it and declare the whole thing lame.

“that should be everything, then.” she just barely saw the way he narrowed his eyes at her when she tipped her head back to get the last of the styrofoam cup of noodles down her throat. “except for whatever girly shit you have planned.”

“hey, you’re going to have to be the one to tell logan that your bad attitude is what got all of you excluded from mani-pedis and facials,” she shrugged, resting her elbows on the counter and leaning in toward the screen. “just so you can do what on saturday? smoke cigars and play darts?”

“someone has to draw the line somewhere,” he said, revisiting the argument they’d had at least four or five times since she was home the month before.

“you’re impossible,” she sighed, her mouth stretching with a wide yawn. ellie pulled a face at herself, shaking her head. she had at least another two hours of coursework to do once they hung up.

“you’re the one who looks about ten seconds away from combusting,” he smirked. “you can say no to things, you know.”

“i’m fine,” she insisted, “and i do say ‘no’ to things. when i have to.”

“right. it’s not like we haven’t known each other for eight years or anything.”

ellie rolled her eyes at him, her cheeks still flushed red. like he’d paid attention to anyone other than himself and whatever girl he was fucking when they were in college. “everything’ll calm down after the wedding.”

“whatever you say,” he shrugged, “just don’t miss your flight to vegas, okay? i’m going to need someone to talk to who doesn’t make me want to blow my brains out.”

what? colt hung up just as she opened her mouth to respond, leaving ellie staring at her phone background in confusion.

she took one last glance around her apartment, slowly trailing her eyes over the dishes in the sink, the schoolwork on her kitchen table, the piles of shoes that had to be bubble-wrapped and boxed up in her living room.

then ellie turned on her heel and headed off to bed. for once, it felt pretty fucking good to do the wrong thing.

when her flight got in she sent logan a long, detailed text with all the information he could possibly need -- what time her rideshare was going to get to the hotel and how much time she was going to need to get up to the room and get changed -- and asked where she should meet everyone when she was done.

his response was two short words. casino. craps. typical.

she rushed to get into her dress and get some makeup on and found everyone standing around the same table when she got downstairs. of course, the only available space was just to colt’s left. ellie squeezed in with a grin. “hi!”

“hey, you made it!” eager cheers from around the table greeted her and the tight hugs she was forced into let her know that she had a backlog a few drinks deep to catch up on.

when she turned back around, colt shoved his hand in her face. there was a pair of dice sitting in his palm. “blow,” he said, staring at her expectantly.

“excuse me?”

“blow,” he repeated, smirking at her, “it’s for luck.”

“i’m not going to --”

“come on, ellie,” logan grinned, “he’s up, like, two thousand dollars. you have to!”

“this is so demeaning,” she grumbled, but pursed her lips and blew on the dice as requested. colt stared at her the entire time, not even breaking eye contact to roll.

it was only when the croupier said, “another easy eight,” and the table broke out into cheers that he looked away, directing his gaze down at the stack of chips that was pushed over to him.

“okay, what’s the next one?” he asked, taking the dice into his hand again.

“huh?”

“what am i rolling?”

“oh.” ellie glanced around the table and found everyone looking at her expectantly. “seven.”

“okay, any seven.” colt shook the dice in his hand, then held them out to her again. “come on.”

she leaned in a little closer. “you know, i’d love a drink at some point.”

“if we get this one i’ll find you a whole bottle of dom,” he promised. “blow.”

ellie blew on the dice. she grabbed colt’s arm anxiously as they waited for them to land.

they did, a moment later. she craned her neck and saw them facing up, over the line -- five and two.

all the noise they were making was starting to draw a crowd. ellie found herself sharing a grin with colt when he looked back at her again.

“another seven,” she instructed, head already bowed towards his hand.

he rolled a three and a four. the people gathering around the table were enraptured.

she blew on the dice again. a one and a six.

the forearm of his jacket had indents where her hand kept grabbing at it frantically, but colt never showed any outward signs of nervousness. if anything, he seemed to get more and more excited as ellie called out the numbers and he rolled them, one after another -- an eight. a six. a ten. another seven.

“holy shit, that’s twenty thousand dollars,” ingrid breathed finally, her mouth open in shock.

colt picked the stack of chips up, nodding at the roulette table behind them. “come on.”

“where are we going?” ellie asked, but followed him to the table anyway, her heart racing. all of their friends fell in line around them, hushed.

“we’re gonna double it,” he smirked. “red or black?”

“you’re going to bet it all?” her eyes went comically wide.

“ellie, red or black?”

everyone within hearing distance, including the attendant, was staring at her. she looked down at the table, and then at the screen, which was displaying the outcome of the last few rounds. her mind raced as she tried to calculate all the ways it could become more complex than just a fifty-fifty probability.

colt noticed her staring and shook his head at her. “just pick.”

“black,” she blurted out, and watched in horror as he dropped the entire stack of chips down onto her choice. “oh my god, i’m going to throw up.”

his arm wound around her waist as the ball dropped into the table and started to roll around. instead of recoiling, ellie held onto him in return, digging her nails into the fabric of his suit as she stared.

there was dead silence at the table when the ball dropped neatly into the slot.

“twenty-nine,” the dealer announced, smiling at the both of them. “black.”

sound exploded all around them. their friends were jumping all over colt and the table, clapping him on the back, cheering and screaming. the spectators who’d been watching them joined in, and ellie couldn’t stop a deliriously joyful laugh from escaping as she looked, beaming, from the stack of chips on the table to colt’s face.

he was already grinning at her, and reached out to shove her shoulder excitedly before pulling the chips off the board and towards their end of the table -- four stacks of ten.

logan pushed between them, a beer bottle dangling from his fingers. “jesus christ. that was insane. way to make an entrance, el.”

“me?” she demanded incredulously, “what kind of person puts twenty thousand dollars on black?”

“what can i say,” colt shrugged, eyes still bright when they settled on her again, “i’m reckless.”

well, that was the understatement of the century. she slowly shook her head as the rest of the players at the table moved on to the next round. “i can’t believe that just happened.”

colt reached out and grabbed her wrist, then unceremoniously dropped five chips into her palm. “here. your cut.”

ellie blinked down at her hand like she’d never seen a casino chip before. “five thousand dollars?”

“hey, all you did was blow on some dice.”

“no, i --” she shook her head, trying to shove the chips back onto his pile with a laugh, “you don’t need to do that. it was fun.”

he shrugged. ellie watched in surprise as colt smiled at her, fixated on the upturned corners of his mouth. “whatever. remember i did the next time you’re pissed at me.”

colt walked off before she could try giving the money back to him again. she stared down at the chips in her hand for a moment, staring at all the zeroes that looked back up at her.

if what had just happened was any indication, it was probably going to be a strange weekend.

after dinner they went to a nightclub. her buzz was kicking in, so the lights and the music hardly bothered her as much as they might have on a normal night, and though she was loathe to admit it, colt had actually done a pretty nice job setting everything up. they had a booth to themselves and bottle service with sparklers, themed shots and props for both logan and ingrid -- sashes and buttons and crowns for the both of them.

seeing how happy everyone was made all the aggravation of the last six weeks worth it. before she knew it, she’d had more shots than was probably wise and her feet were killing her from dancing, leaving her flushed and sweaty when she stumbled back to the table.

as soon as she sat down, ingrid rushed over and grabbed her arm. “come on! i want to introduce you to a hot guy!”

“no,” ellie moaned, digging her heels into the booth while ingrid tried to drag her out of it, “stop, we’ve been dancing for hours. i need five minutes.”

“okay, but he’s so hot,” ingrid insisted, “and you could get laid tonight!”

“or we could just enjoy your bachelorette party!” she screamed back, over the music, “that’d be so fun, too.”

“oh my god, you’re impossible,” ingrid sighed, dropping down dramatically into the booth beside her. "look, he’s right over there.”

ellie followed the line of her eyes and saw an admittedly very hot guy standing with a few of their friends. she lifted her hand and waved at him, and he smiled charmingly back at her, waving in return.

from behind her hand, when she pulled it in to cover her mouth, ellie said to ingrid, “he looks kind of stupid.”

“oh my god,” ingrid groaned again, “forget it. i’m done trying to set you up.”

before she could argue further, logan ran over to refill his drink and pulled ingrid back up to her feet, dragging her away from the booth and back onto the dance floor.

ellie watched them go, then turned her eyes to the half-full bottle of vodka in the ice bucket on the table. she was in the middle of trying to decide whether or not she was one drink away from puking when colt walked up to her.

“hey, loser. you wanna dance?” he asked, just as she made up her mind and reached for the bottle. he wasn’t loud enough to be heard over the music, but ellie could see the shape of his mouth make each word clearly, mostly because she tilted her head up to stare at him in complete confusion as soon as he got close.

“with you?”

“i thought you were supposed to be smart,” he said, and she recognized the easy grin on his face from dozens of late nights out with all their friends in college; he was drunk. “come on.”

she stumbled to her feet and followed him without thinking too much about it, even though there was no way their friends weren’t looking at them as they found a spot on the dance floor together.

“you know how to dance?” ellie asked, blinking down at colt’s hands, which settled confidently on her waist, in absolute, total surprise, “since when?”

“since always,” he answered, lowering his mouth to her ear, “you just repress all my positive traits.”

“you don’t have any positive traits,” she shot back, though she gave in and wound her arms around his neck a moment later, letting him pull her in close.

“ouch,” colt murmured softly into her ear, and ellie sunk her teeth into her bottom lip at the low tone of his voice and its proximity. “that really hurts.”

her head tipped back to stare up at the flashing lights in the ceiling. colt didn’t say anything -- of course, he loved to get the last word -- and after a moment she forgot how utterly strange it was to be close to him at all and let herself enjoy the dance, smoothly moving her hips against his.

it was unnatural how natural it felt. she was dancing with colt kaneko -- it should have felt insane. they didn’t dance together. they didn’t get along.

except that evidently they did, and she kind of liked it, too.

when he dragged everyone out of the nightclub at three o’clock in the morning he wouldn’t tell them where they were going. even ellie was surprised to hear about a planned part two of the evening, though the way he seamlessly swiped a bottle of dom perignon from a table they passed on their way to the door and presented it to her as soon as they stepped back into the lobby of the hotel made her laugh with her whole body.

“you didn’t even pay for it,” she grinned, cradling it in her arms like a baby.

he looked around, then started leading everyone down a side hallway. “i never said i would. hang on.”

logan caught on as soon as they all stopped in front of the fancy glass doors marked pool, and ellie kept watch at the end of the hallway while the two of them worked to get the door open. one by one, their friends filed quietly inside to the hotel’s closed indoor pool, giggling while they stripped out of their clothes.

“this feels illegal,” ellie said, while ingrid helpfully lowered the zip on her dress for her, “no?”

“it’s only a crime if you get caught,” logan answered, running past and jumping in the pool directly in front of where they were standing at its edge, splashing them both.

“oh, you’re in for it,” ingrid promised, jumping off after him.

ellie self-consciously pulled her dress off the rest of the way, walking over to the steps and wading into the shallow end carefully. she swam out to join the rest of the group, head spinning from the drinks she’d had.

“hey.”

she turned around and came face-to-face with colt again, staring at what she could see of his bare chest, sticking out of the dark water before averting her eyes with a flush. “we’re totally all going to jail,” she said, apropos of nothing.

“that’s the plan,” colt returned, still smiling that easy, open smile. but he’d always been a lot more fun to hang out with when he was drunk.

“why’re you being so nice to me?” ellie asked abruptly, reaching out to hold onto the pool wall and treading water to stay afloat in front of him. “it’s weird.”

colt laughed. his own arm braced on the side of the pool beside hers, and she looked over at the way the water slid of his muscles, her mouth suddenly dry.

“guess i like the reactions i get,” he answered, effortlessly short-circuiting her brain as she tried to figure out what the fuck that was supposed to mean. “plus, it looks like you’re my good luck charm.”

“that was pretty crazy,” she acknowledged with a soft smile of her own, “i’ve never done anything like that before.” in fact, it’d been almost more excitement than she could handle.

“there’s so much i could show you.”

the look in his eyes was intense -- searching. she wasn’t sure what to say, but fortunately the noise from the rest of their friends splashing around covered the too-loud pounding of her heartbeat as he stood there staring down at her.

it was the most alive she’d felt in months. before tonight, she hadn’t even thought she’d want a break from her routine -- from school, from her work, from everything that made her her.

wading in the pool now, with colt, all she wanted was more.

before she could find something to say, logan and brent swam by, kicking up water with a splash. “come on!” logan called out as a wave of chlorinated water hit her smack dab in the face, “we’re doing back flips.”

she forced her eyes down and swam off after them, hurrying to put some space between them.

drunk as she was, it was a struggle to even stay afloat.

the semester wrapped up quickly; before she knew it, it was time to start shipping her things down to miami. ellie saw and heard from everyone less and less as she finished her coursework and switched into summer mode, even as the date of logan’s wedding grew closer.

finally it was time to hand her keys over to the girl who’d be subletting her apartment for the summer and catch her flight; when she stepped off the plane she forgot, for a moment, that she wasn’t home in los angeles -- it was humid and sunny and everyone around her looked happy, a far cry from the scene she’d left behind at jfk.

ellie went straight to her summer housing and checked in, a little astonished by how nice the apartment was. there was a pool in the back of the building and the beach was only a short walk away; there were floor-to-ceiling windows exposing the view to her and illuminating every last one of the boxes she’d have to unpack where they were cluttering her new living room floor.

her eyes landed on one marked kitchen stuff and ellie tore into it, using her keys to rip the tape. the still-sealed bottle of dom perignon from the bachelorette party was sitting on top of everything else, wrapped in bubble wrap.

the trip or the heat had probably made it go flat but she pulled it out anyway, sitting on the floor and popping the cork. ellie took a sip from the bottle and grimaced -- all expensive alcohol was disgusting.

she set it on the floor and took a photo for her pictagram story anyway, the boxes and the view in the background. it was only up for a few seconds before her phone screen lit up with an incoming message.

it was colt. dork was all he’d written, when she opened her direct messages. the little animation beneath his words indicated he was typing something else. how is it?

pretty bad she wrote back honestly.

guess i’ll have to work harder to impress you

she stared down at her phone, rereading the words twice before she huffed out a genuine laugh. ellie had been avoiding checking in with most of her friends while she focused on moving, but it felt pretty nice to talk to colt again. the new peace that had settled between them had admittedly been a welcome respite, distracting her from every stressor in her life.

with a shake of her head, she gave in and wrote back guess so.

everyone in the wedding was spending the entire weekend in santa monica, and ellie was grateful for the opportunity to avoid awkward conversation with her dad, heading straight to the hotel when she flew in on the morning of the rehearsal dinner.

things were already in full swing even though it was early in the day when she arrived; though she was exhausted from her flight and the work she’d left behind on the east coast ellie still let ingrid pull her up to her suite to start getting ready together.

one by one the rest of their friends started to trickle in, chatting excitedly about the wedding the next day, and eventually, after they’d gone over saturday’s schedule at least a thousand times, it was late enough in the afternoon that she had to go back to her own hotel room to get dressed for dinner.

ellie was the first of the girls to finish getting ready and logan and the rest of the guys were already downstairs at the lobby bar when she came out of the elevator. logan pulled her into a hug as soon as she got close, kissing her cheek hello.

“are you so excited?” she asked, squeezing his arms, “big day tomorrow.”

“i can’t wait. i know we did this fast but it still feels like we’ve been waiting for forever.” he looked adorably eager. “you look nice, by the way.”

“thank you,” ellie said primly, stepping out of his arms to spin in a circle, the skirt of her dress swishing around the tops of her thighs, “not half bad for an all-nighter and a cross-country flight, eh?”

“thanks for flying out so early. i’m so glad you’re here.” logan called the bartender over as she moved down the line to say hi to the rest of the groomsmen, and when she came back around to his other side to accept the drink he held out to her she noticed there was one person missing from the group.

“where’s colt?”

logan arched an eyebrow at her. her face flushed pink, and then worsened when that voice she could pick out of a crowd said from behind her, “miss me?”

the smart remark that was waiting on the tip of her tongue died when she turned around and saw him. he always wore formalwear well, but something about how he was dressed tonight captured her attention in a way that was impossible to ignore. she swallowed.

“just wondering if tonight might actually be peaceful or not,” she said finally, lifting her eyes from the few buttons that were open on his shirt at the front of his throat to look him in the eyes. “i guess it won’t be.”

he shrugged, leaning around her to signal the bartender for a drink of his own. “i promised i’d behave this weekend.”

“yeah, and you’d better follow through or ingrid’s going to come after us both,” logan grinned, waiting until colt had his glass in his hand before sticking his own in between the three of them. “cheers.”

“cheers,” ellie smiled, clinking her champagne flute delicately against the two rocks glasses in their hands, “congratulations. i’m so happy for you guys.”

“you can back out at any time,” colt said, and then, as ingrid finally walked over and hit him on the shoulder, “ow. what? you can back out, too.”

she linked her arm through logan’s, tilting her face up for a kiss. “no one’s backing out. come on.”

they filed into the restaurant, where everyone’s families were already waiting at one end of the long table. ellie sat down on ingrid’s right and came face-to-face with colt, who was sitting directly across from her at logan’s left. he smirked at her from the other side of the table, bumping his foot into hers underneath the tablecloth.

she kicked him back, turning her cheek to stifle a smile when she saw him wince as soon as her high heel collided with his shin.

dinner was surprisingly pleasant, making her cautiously optimistic for the way the rest of the weekend was going to go. tomorrow was sure to be exhausting, with a full day of primping and photos before the ceremony and reception, and the after party following late into the night, if she knew their group of friends at all.

but it’d probably be pretty fun, too. at least she could start drinking heavily as soon as her toast was over.

though she was woefully sober after the cake had been cut and the night started to wind down, certain that a hangover would be a wrench in tomorrow morning she just didn’t need, with the day ahead of her.

they all took their time saying goodbye and slowly started to head to the elevator. just outside the restaurant door, colt caught her elbow and asked, “wanna go for a walk?”

she stared back at him dumbly. why? “huh?”

“come on, the beach is right there.” his hand slid down her bare arm to curl around her wrist, and he tugged her towards the french doors that would lead them outside onto the hotel’s back patio before she could protest.

ellie slipped off her shoes as they moved down the steps and out into the sand, silent when they both walked off down the beach together. the stretch owned by the hotel was private and closed for the night, so they were the only two people making their way down to the ocean, though she still wasn’t exactly sure for what.

“how’ve you been?” she asked finally, when it felt like it’d been quiet for too long.

“fine. how are your... water samples?”

her eyebrows arched. part of her was amazed he’d remembered, and a little warmed by his thoughtfulness. “um, good,” she answered slowly, “well -- not good, they’re contaminated, but... good for me? to have something to study?”

out of the corner of her eye, ellie saw his lips twitch. it was good to know he still found her embarrassment amusing. “that’s good.”

“are you nervous for your speech tomorrow?” she asked, because she was certainly nervous about hers. his smile spread.

“no.” he’d long since let go of her arm, but colt still only shoved the hand on the other side of his body into his pocket, letting his other arm dangle near hers. “i’m just gonna wing it.”

“you’re going to -- i’m sorry, what?” she demanded, completely horrified. “you cannot just wing it.”

“well, i’m going to,” he shrugged, “so don’t lose sleep over it.”

“oh my god,” ellie groaned, “i feel sick just thinking about it. please tell me you’re joking.”

“you know i’m not,” he laughed, that same soft sound from the night of logan and ingrid’s engagement party, when he’d given her a ride home. her cheeks flushed just thinking about it. “don’t you ever get tired of being so self-righteous?”

“no,” she sniffed, “don’t you ever get tired of being so...”

ellie trailed off as she searched for the right word. colt stopped suddenly and turned in the sand to face her, grinning widely when their eyes locked. “so what?”

arrogant. smug. obnoxious. insufferable. reckless. “so...” she paused, tongue darting out to lick her lips, “well --”

colt leaned in and kissed her before she could decide which word she wanted to settle on. the hand that’d been in his pocket landed on her waist, and he lifted the other to her jaw, cradling her cheek in his palm when he pulled her closer to meet his lips.

she froze. part of her had been expecting this, though it still felt so unbelievably beyond imagining -- colt kaneko was kissing her after they’d spent the last eight years at each other’s throats, and tenderly, too, his lips soft and gentle when they brushed against hers.

ellie sighed quietly into his mouth, then looped her arm around him and kissed him back, sliding her fingers into his hair at the back of his head.

he was a good kisser. not that she’d thought about it, or anything, outside of one or two times --

fine, a few times...

colt snaked his arm fully around her waist and pressed his body in against hers as close as they could get; there was only the sound of the waves on the shore while they kissed for what felt like an eternity, with all the familiarity of two people who’d done this dozens of times before.

there was something about being alone with him that eased the tension being home always brought with it. something about the new calmness in their relationship reminded her of her apartment and new york and the places she’d always felt most like herself, almost like colt understood her and the things she wanted to say but wouldn’t without her even having to say them.

finally, his thumb pressed into the hinge of her jaw and he broke them apart, tipping his forehead against hers to stare into her eyes.

in the dark, with the moon behind him, the depths of his gaze consumed her entirely. ellie worked to catch her breath while staring back at him seriously, though there was surely some shock on her expression.

“um,” she said finally. “i --”

he swept her into another kiss and she was grateful for the chance to collect her thoughts before being expected to say something, though every last one she had left her abruptly when their lips met again. all she could focus on was how good the kiss was -- how it felt like giving into something she’d been holding off on allowing for far too long.

this time, when he pushed her away, he spoke up. “do you want me to apologize?”

ellie realized her fingers were still curled into his hair and forced them to relax. she dropped her hand onto his shoulder. “no.” her eyes lingered on the minute upturn at the corners of his mouth. “an explanation would be helpful, though.”

the hand colt had on the small of her back dipped lower. she raised her eyebrows at him again. “i want to spend the night with you,” he said bluntly, “if you want.”

she pretended to think about it, even though she already knew what her answer would be. judging by the look on colt’s face, he knew she was only acting, too, though he stayed quiet for once and let her go through the motions of looking back at the hotel in thoughtful consideration. “yeah,” she said finally, with a nod, “let’s go to your room.”

colt’s room was on the other side of the hotel, and he’d forgotten to pull the heavy-duty shades shut the night before, so the sun filtered in through the gauzy curtains and hit her in the face early, waking her up before she was ready.

ellie rubbed at her eyes and took in the sight before her: the muscled arm slung across her waist was attached to a set of broad shoulders and a sculpted torso, though colt was sleeping on his stomach so she could only see his back, the sheet draped low over his hips.

his face was squished into the pillow and he was still peacefully asleep, his breathing even and quiet beside her.

she stared at him for a few seconds before a deep sense of dread started to set in, filling her with slowly dawning horror.

you slept with colt kaneko! her brain screamed unhelpfully at her, like she didn’t already know. what the fuck were you thinking?

okay. this was fixable. all she had to do was get to her clothes and get out of his room before he woke up. she could make it back to her suite before anyone noticed she was gone, right?

his body stirred beside her as soon as she shifted to the edge of the mattress. ellie watched colt’s arm slip off her waist and stared as his eyes slowly blinked open, his jaw cracking with a yawn. “hey,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep and perfectly cozy-sounding, halting her progress out of the bed and almost enough to make her turn right back around. “what time is it?”

“seven,” she returned just as quietly, and he flopped back against the pillow with a groan, scrubbing a hand down his face.

“the fuck are you doing up?” he grumbled. “christ.”

ellie shifted another inch to the edge of the bed. “we need to all start getting ready soon. pictures are at two.”

“it’s seven,” he sighed, “she can’t possibly expect you to --”

“she does.”

colt groaned again, louder this time. he rolled onto his back and pressed both palms against his face, then pushed his hands through his hair. “we’ll get up in ten minutes,” he declared decisively, dropping his cheek into the side of the pillow. his eyes were half-lidded when they landed on her. “come here.”

ellie hesitated at the edge of the bed, biting her lip.

that was probably a mistake.

she cleared her throat, averting her eyes. maybe all of this had been a mistake. it was so unlike her -- flirting with him, kissing him on the beach, having a one night stand. he’d never even liked her before she started doing all of these things that felt so wildly out of character for her. in fact, he’d always hated her.

what the fuck did he think they were doing, anyway?

panic was starting to set in, hot and desperate. “i should really get going,” she said, then stood and snatched her dress up off the floor before she could be sucked in by the curve of him against the mattress. “ingrid’s going to wonder where i am.”

there was complete and total silence as she pulled her clothes back on quickly, piece by piece. finally, colt said, “okay. i’ll see you later.”

his voice was slow -- carefully measured. ellie didn’t look at him before double checking to make sure she had her phone and room key and nodding blindly in the direction of the bed, doing her best to keep her voice faux-chipper. “totally,” she called out mindlessly, rushing out the door.

her chest squeezed tight with anxiety and refused to relent for the entirety of the morning. ellie found herself fighting off a meltdown through hair and makeup, through hours of gushing over ingrid and how beautiful she looked, through a session with the photographer in the bridal suite.

her thoughts were elsewhere during the group photos with everyone. it took every effort not to look colt’s way when they all got together before the ceremony to take so many pictures her face was hurting from maintaining her fake smile.

still, her mind drifted. the part of her that was adamant she’d made the right decision couldn’t seem to quiet the little voice beneath it wondering what if, her curiosity needling her brain incessantly.

now she’d never know what he might’ve been about to say or do. she wouldn’t have to deal with the reality of having two pieces of her life that didn’t fit together -- new york and school and los angeles and colt -- because there was no knowing if anything would’ve even come from it.

maybe that’s for the best, said the larger, more rational part of her brain.

all the excuses she’d used a thousand times before came back to her at once. she was too busy to date, probably, and ill-equipped to have a boyfriend. guys she’d dated in the past had complained about her being hot and cold, either clingy or distant depending on where she was with school or in her professional life. the only parts of herself she could actually tolerate most of the time seemed to be the biggest turn-offs: she was too driven, too focused on her passion projects.

each word felt hollow, now. maybe she hadn’t done the right thing.

ellie’s pulse raced dangerously as everyone lined up at the edge of the cliff for the outdoor ceremony. she and colt stood just behind logan, side-by-side.

he wasn’t looking at her. her stomach twisted unhappily.

she gently reached out to touch his arm. her voice was barely a murmur when she leaned in close and said, “hey, can i talk to you?”

colt looked down at her like she was insane. in front of them, logan started down the aisle. “now’s not really a good time.”

fuck. she was almost definitely going to lose her nerve, but he was right. she pursed her lips, looping her arm through his. her free hand clutched her flowers tightly.

colt felt stiff beside her, at odds with the easy way he’d held her last night. she used all her focus not to trip as they walked down the aisle together and then separated on either side of the altar, the both of them looking anywhere else but at each other.

fortunately, the ceremony provided a welcome distraction from her swirling thoughts. logan and ingrid had written their own vows, and she cried the entire time they spoke to each other, tears silently dripping down her cheeks as she watched two of her oldest friends profess their love.

even the poem ingrid’s sister read made her heart skip a beat, her bottom lip wobbling through the ceremony until the officiant finally pronounced them husband and wife.

ellie was still smiling through tears after they’d kissed and started back down the aisle together. she forgot to be nervous about walking with colt until he took her arm in his and said, “seriously?”

then everything that had happened rushed back to her at once, and she was uneasy and miserable again.

“come on,” ellie sniffed, dabbing delicately at her eyes, “that was beautiful.”

“it was something,” he mumbled, so quietly the excited din of the crowd nearly drowned him out. “i’ll catch up with you later.”

he dropped her arm as soon as he possibly could, disappearing into the venue. ellie watched everyone through the glass windows for a moment before following him inside with a sigh.

bathroom, then bar. even if the first thing she needed was a large glass of wine, the absolute last thing she needed was smudged mascara. everything else could wait.

it was almost the end of the cocktail hour when logan found her at the bar. ellie grinned at him wholeheartedly and passed him the champagne flute she’d taken for herself, signaling for another.

“thanks,” he said, reaching out to squeeze her arm, “like, a thousand people have already tried talking to me. you never told me this was going to be so exhausting.”

“getting married is a huge deal,” ellie laughed, “of course every single person here wants to talk to you. you’re going to be making the rounds all night.”

“just -- keep me occupied for a few more minutes,” he said, gaze darting around the room, “make it look like we’re having a really serious talk. start with whatever put that look on your face.”

“i don’t have a look on my face,” she argued, though she knew it was futile.

logan arched his eyebrows at her. “ellie.”

“what?” she asked. she shuffled her feet anxiously and then continued, “look, i’m sure colt already told you we slept together last night, so --”

logan started coughing, spitting champagne back into his glass. he set it down on the bar with wide eyes. “oh my god, you what?”

ellie felt her own eyes bug out to match. “he didn’t tell you?”

“no,” logan hissed, then coughed again. “what do you mean you slept together last night?”

“um,” ellie started, her voice high as she swiveled her eyes to the ceiling, “well...”

“jesus, i can’t believe he finally went for it.”

she slowly lowered her gaze back to his. her brow furrowed in confusion. “what?”

“oh, man. he’s liked you for forever. i didn’t think he was ever going to...” logan trailed off as he caught sight of the expression on her face, which cycled from confusion to realization to horror so quickly it made her head spin. “wait, how’d you guys leave it?”

“um,” she said again, cringing, “well...”

“yikes.” logan matched her look with a wince. “you should probably talk to him.”

she wandered into the ballroom as if in a daze. ellie found her seat at the table with the bridal party and breathed a sigh of relief once she noticed colt was far away from her at the other end -- at least ingrid had done her one favor.

after the toast, she told herself with a nod, i’ll talk to him.

after the toast she could have the hard drink she’d need to get through the conversation. they could take a few minutes to themselves.

but first she had to actually get through the toast, and that meant sitting politely while colt gave the best man speech, which he did unflappably well, of course, even though he hadn’t prepared for it at all.

ellie was reminded all at once what’d made her hate him in the first place: colt was good at everything without having to worry about it. in college, he’d effortlessly pulled perfect grades in even the most impossible classes; tonight was no different. he made jokes that landed perfectly with the crowd, getting the appropriate amount of laughs, and finished with something surprisingly sentimental that garnered lots of applause -- both ingrid and logan beamed at him when he sat down again.

and she had to go next.

she pointedly ignored him as she stood with her glass. “hey, everyone. i’m ellie. for those of you who don’t know me, ingrid and i met on the very first day of college -- eight years ago. i’d just turned eighteen and i was away from home for the first time. i actually bumped into ingrid in the parking lot...”

ellie hit all the marks, too: what she loved about her friends, what made them perfect for each other. “-- and i knew he was the one just from the way she’d talk about him. she always got so giddy, it was like there was a whole other side of her i’d never seen before. every day she’d have something new to say about him: ‘oh, logan said this,’ and, ‘oh, logan showed me that’ --”

everyone was crying by the time she wrapped up. ingrid blew her a kiss as she lifted her glass into the air, and ellie grinned brightly back at her and logan before the band came back on and she could finally sit down again.

the girls around her were gushing about how good her toast had been, but ellie leaned around them to catch colt’s eye at the other end of the table.

her eyebrows lifted meaningfully. she nodded at the dance floor.

colt rolled his eyes. she watched him shake his head.

ellie thrust her bottom lip out into a pout.

he looked sort of close to smiling, setting a swarm of butterflies loose in her stomach. it was both better and more dangerous than the thought of him being angry at her had been. later, he mouthed, turning away before she could frown at him any harder.

that was fine. it’d give her a little more time to work up her nerve -- hopefully.

she grabbed ingrid on her way back to the bar.

“oh my god, i can’t believe you,” ingrid sighed, squeezing her tight in a huge hug, “that was only the most beautiful toast of all time. you ruined my makeup, you bitch!”

“okay, you still look perfect,” ellie argued, squeezing her hand, “you’re the most beautiful bride ever. don’t even start.”

ingrid sighed wistfully, looking off towards the sweetheart table at the front of the ballroom. “i am pretty beautiful, huh?”

“are you kidding?” ellie demanded, “the whole thing was gorgeous.”

ingrid’s grin sharpened. out of nowhere, she said, “logan told me you totally fucked colt last night.”

“shhhh!” ellie cast a glance around desperately, but they were blessedly alone at the bar. “oh my god, i didn’t --”

“yeah, right. why didn’t you tell me?!”

“it’s your wedding day,” she laughed, “i wanted to -- i don’t know. it just happened, it was weird.”

“what’s he like?” she asked, passing ellie a glass of champagne.

“can we not do this?” ellie ducked her head behind the glass, trying to hide her flushed face. “isn’t it time for your first dance?”

ingrid waved her hand dismissively. “in a minute. so? spill!”

“oh my god, it was obviously incredible,” she mumbled into her champagne, “now get out of my face, this is exactly why i didn’t tell you.”

“fine, but we are so not done talking about this.” she reached out and tugged on one of the neat curls of her hair before linking her arm through ellie’s to walk back to the front of the ballroom together. “and you’d better save me a dance.”

she didn’t get her moment alone with colt until after the entrees. ellie had given up on trying to catch his eye, so she was surprised when he walked over and said, “i’ll take that dance, now, if you can stop crying long enough to make it happen.”

“people with souls cry at weddings,” she huffed, standing and taking his hand in hers, “i’m sorry you can’t relate.”

“you’re forgiven,” he smirked, so that she could almost pretend there was absolutely nothing weird going on between them as they walked out onto the dance floor.

but his expression shifted when the song changed and her hands laced together behind his neck, absolving her of that illusion near-immediately. she cleared her throat as his hands settled on her hips and they started to sway together.

“i’m sorry,” she said again, more seriously this time.

he pursed his lips, then shrugged. “for what?”

“for being weird this morning. i don’t know what you were going to say -- um, if you were going to say anything, but i totally freaked out and i obviously didn’t even give you a chance to get to it, so. that was uncool. sorry.”

colt’s gaze was calculating on hers. she wondered what he was thinking. “don’t worry about it,” he said finally. “it’s nothing.”

she drew in a deep breath. well, if he wasn’t going to give her an inch... “logan said you’ve always liked me.”

ellie watched as his eyes narrowed. “logan’s lucky today’s his wedding day,” colt murmured darkly. his hands tightened on her hips briefly, then released. he turned his head and leveled his glare on her. “so?”

“so -- i thought you hated me,” she laughed, that thread of nervousness back again. “you never -- i mean, why didn’t you ever say anything?”

he rolled his eyes at her. “okay, you’re always, like -- smiling and happy and constantly surrounded by people. when we were in school you were in, like, student government and on debate team and running a thousand clubs or doing extra lab hours and everyone always liked you -- so you wanted me to, what, exactly? just walk right up to you and be like, hey, do you want to see a movie?”

ellie gaped at him, her mouth open in shock. “i -- yes! you could have just asked me out.”

“right,” colt snorted, “that would’ve gone over well. you thought i was a total asshole.”

“colt, you were a total asshole,” she reminded him.

he shifted back and forth on his feet. ellie stared in fascination as the tips of his ears went red when he dipped his head to avert his eyes. “i didn’t want you think i had a crush on you or anything.”

it felt a lot like she was having an out-of-body experience. “well... did you have a crush on me?”

colt cleared his throat. “you weren’t like everyone else,” he said, in lieu of an answer, “you’re still not. but i get that you’re busy. this doesn’t have to be, like, a thing.”

“hang on, i’m still processing.” whatever this was, it was officially bizarre.

it seemed impossible to wrap her head around what he’d just admitted: that he’d always liked her, even at her most neurotic, at the most school-obsessed, five-year-plan focused she’d ever been.

so she didn’t have to change.

for once, it didn’t feel like she needed to put up some front that was, frankly, exhausting to maintain.

everything just felt -- nice.

“done yet?” he demanded, “the song’s almost over.”

ellie leaned in and kissed him, uncaring of anyone who might see. his hands were warm over the cutouts in the dress at her sides and she was breathless when they finally broke apart, long after the song had changed.

the look on colt’s face was a mixture of self-satisfied and surprised when he pulled her off the dance floor and out onto the terrace. “i am busy,” ellie said, once they were alone.

colt nodded, looking out at the view of the beach below them. “i know.”

“but -- if you really don’t mind that i have to split my focus with school... and the distance... and the time difference...”

“are you trying to talk me out of it?” he asked, sounding amused.

“...then obviously i’d love to date you or whatever.”

“huh.” colt was smiling as he stared at the ocean. “i guess i probably should have just asked out you five years ago, then.”

“it might’ve been easier,” ellie allowed, shifting to lean her shoulder against his. she reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. “but that’s not really our style.”

colt turned and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “true,” he hummed, and then, “you smell like you have a whole can of hairspray in your hair.”

“i probably do.” she hesitated, looking down at their joined hands. “are you sure you want to do this?”

“yeah.” ellie looked back up at him and found colt’s eyes still stuck thoughtfully on the view. “i’ve wanted to for a really long time.”

“that’s so crazy to me.”

“why?” he finally turned and looked at her, his gaze no less intense than it had been last night by the ocean. “ingrid’s right. you are a catch. it’s crazy to me that you’ve stayed single all this time.”

“well, i was --” she bit the inside of her cheek to avoid again using the word busy, and then pivoted to a more uncomfortably honest answer, “-- never interested in compromising. before now.”

his lips spread into a smile. she felt her heart skip a beat at the sight of it, soft and genuine and open on his face. “figures i’d be the one to break your streak,” colt said, in that same overconfident way she always used to hate.

“oh my god, do not start,” she huffed, using their joined hands to push his side until he stumbled a step away.

colt retaliated by spinning her around and pulling her in close, trapping her against the ledge of the balcony before she could move. “why?” he challenged, “what are you going to do about it?”

she was going to kiss that stupid smirk right off his face, for one.

and he was going to spend the night dancing with her and later hold back her hair when she had too much to drink.

then they’d both spend most of sunday in bed, skipping brunch with the rest of their friends to put the hours before her flight to better use.

colt would drive her to the airport. they would say their goodbyes on the curb.

and she would be too excited to sleep on the trip back to miami.

“just wait,” she threatened, though her voice was sweet; she tilted her chin up to brush their noses together. “you’ll see. i have it all planned out.”

the look in his eyes made her feel like she was doing something dangerous; colt looked both fond and delighted, content and sweet and sure. his free hand lifted to thumb at her cheekbone, like part of him was still surprised to find the both of them out here, wrapped up together like they were.

“i’ll bet,” he returned, his voice low and full of promise. “that work ethic is one of the things i like most about you.”

“you’ll have to give me a list of the rest,” ellie laughed, eager to hear his take on it all from what was arguably the most unique perspective in their friend group.

“eh, you can wait,” colt shrugged, gently pressing her in along the stone ledge behind her back on the balcony, leaning over her with another grin, “there’s a few other things we have to catch up on first.”

fair point, she thought, though she’d be damned if she ever actually agreed with him out loud. she had a lot to fill him in on, too.

he’d probably waited long enough, though, so ellie folded first and gave him that kiss she’d planned, colt’s smirk dissolving as expected when his mouth pressed against hers.

when they finally broke apart and turned to head back inside, they drew up short outside the doors to the balcony. every last one of their friends was standing in front of the glass facade, staring at them, their eyes wide and their mouths open. ingrid and logan in particular looked unreasonably overjoyed.

“christ,” colt sighed, as ellie instantly flushed bright red beside him, “is this what this is going to be like all the time?”

“no take backs,” she said, squeezing his hand. she turned to look up at him just in time to catch his eye roll, and the subsequent glare that made the group watching them from behind the door scatter with raucous laughter.

“fine,” he answered, sounding put-upon, but she hadn’t looked away yet and so she still caught the private smile that tugged his lips up against his will.

perfect, ellie thought to herself, and then, for the first time in as long as she could remember, nothing else -- no self-doubt, no exhaustion, no pretending.

colt was probably going to have to help her get used to how it felt to have everything she wanted.

#rodaw #colt kaneko #colt kaneko x mc #choices rod #ellie wheeler #colt kaneko x ellie wheeler #myfic #long post #i love this trope................. too much #GOD i'm so glad i finished this in time !!#there's nothing n/s/f/w in here by the way #the 18+ rating is for swearing lol #and the implication of sex #but we did a tasteful fade to black ladies #also if you ever mentioned wanting to read this you got tagged lol hope that's okay !!#ride or die

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