#this is SO long I'm sorry.

[morrigan-sims]

Dr. Purity and Rook for @simblorbo-bracket's Saddest Wettest Meow Meow Bracket

Okay, so I absolutely just had to enter these two. Not only are they perfect narrative parallels to each other in our dnd game, they're also extremely pathetic, and in one case a literal war criminal.

Details and extra pictures going under the cut, because this got really long. Uhh... trigger warning for a lot of death, violence, and literal torture.

Details - Dr. Purity

Name: Dr. Purity (alias, real name unknown). Other/past aliases include Dr. Meladria and Sigmar Passeone*. (*: actually a corpse puppet he was controlling and using to befriend Rook.)

Why a SWMM? Where do I start with this man? He's a literal war criminal, personally responsible for the complete destruction of four cities and wiping an entire Fey kingdom off the map. He's a mamma's boy. His family was killed ~300 years ago, and he still has nightmares about it. His daughter was killed when she was a baby (or so he thought). Got called a pussy and a coward and was essentially bullied into becoming a villain. He kinda-sorta runs a cult. Wears lots of jewelry and puts flowers in his hair. He invented a super-serum. Lives in a metal box because he's still a coward. He was captured, tortured, and sold, and forced to work for an evil queen to make monsters. Now he just makes monsters (called Nightwalkers) for fun. He got pathetically attached to Rook, so much so that he ignored his own daughter in favor of him. Has no idea how to talk to people so he read a book with a fictional mentor character and filled every inch of the margins with notes of how to be that person for Rook. He's one of the most powerful people in the world but he held back from killing one of the people who sold him because Rook asked him to. We still don't know his real name.

Origin: He's the BBEG from my longest running Dungeons and Dragons game, which we call Black Desert, after the kingdom where it takes place. He was originally very connected to the party wizard's backstory, but now he has a much, much deeper connection with Rook.

Additional Propaganda: Well, if you want evil people who are sad wet meow-meows, then there is literally no better candidate than this man. He's basically a supervillain, and yet he could not possibly be more pathetic. Just look at his sulky face! He's a literal fucking war criminal, committed actual genocide, and yet... His pathetic manners and lack of social skills have bewitched me.

Details - Rook

Name: Rook (born Adrian Lockwood)

Why a SWMM? I call him my "idiot bastard man", and it's accurate in every sense of those words. Actual literal bastard son of a nobleman. Ran away from home and joined a pirate crew because he was terrified of getting stuck working a dead-end job for the rest of his life (he was 17). Had 6 great years sailing with his captain, who was the first person who was ever nice to him. He even had one (1) real friend!!! But the rest of the crew hated him and thought the captain was showing him favoritism, so he got given a drugged drink during a "birthday celebration" on shore, and given to a rival captain. She kept him and torture him for 2 years until he escaped. He met two good father figures but one of them turned out to be the BBEG (see above), and the other one died 2 days later. The day after that he got kidnapped again. He's been cursed by a demon lord so he has terribly nightmares and barely sleeps. He's convinced that his life has no value, and is self-sacrificial to the point of self-destruction. Keeps telling people who care about him very concerning news (mainly that he died) in really stupid ways. Has died 3 times, and has been pulled back from the brink countless more. Goes down at least once every combat / gets the shit beat out of him constantly. Was reunited with his one (1) friend and she immediately got killed because of his actions. Has no common sense. Extremely impulsive. Got told he was too reckless to be trusted with his own life. Gets bullied by major villains on a regular basis. Has taunted powerful people twice and gotten killed both times. Has no common sense. A capital L Liar, has never told the truth in his life. Hasn't properly buttoned a shirt in ~9 years. Other people knew that his beloved mentor and father figure was actually the BBEG but they didn't tell him. Had to see said mentor figure get brutally "killed" in front of him.

Origin: He's my longest-running Dungeons & Dragons character, and I have literally never been more obsessed with a character in my life. And completely unbeknownst to me I wrote him to be a perfect parallel to the BBEG of the entire campaign. Hence why the DM made said BBEG show up and be Rook's mentor... Fun times!!!

Additional Propaganda: I mean, just look at this shit:

^ that should say "unless", not "in case", I made a typo and didn't realize until later.

Tags from a friend on a post I made about him:

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[thorinds]

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read

[kensatou]

studio trigger understood the assignment. i would let her wreck me.

[cirrus-grey]

[drac0line1nn1t]

Part 1 | Part 2

[aymmidumps]

Andrew doodles

[egophiliac]

bring your son to work day

[gotchibam]

Commissioned piece for @sinelanguage! 😼🔪

[fishofthewoods]

I see a lot of people clowning on the people of Pelican Town for not repairing the community center themselves or clowning on Lewis for embezzling and. like. Those criticisms aren't entirely unfair. But I think instead of coming at it from a perspective of "why can't the townspeople do this" we should be asking "why and how can the farmer do this?"

Like. Think about it. The farmer arrives in Stardew Valley on the first day of spring. By the first day they're obviously different. By day five the spirits of the forest who haven't been seen by the townsfolk in years or generations are speaking to them. By the second week they've developed a rapport with the wizard that lives outside town.

In the spring they go foraging and find more than even Linus, who's spent so many years learning the ways of the valley. Maybe he knows, when he sees them walking back home. Maybe he looks at them and understands that they're different, chosen somehow.

In the summer they fish in the lakes and the ocean for hours on end, catching fish that even Willy's only ever heard of, fish that he thought were the stuff of legend. They pull up giants from the deep and mutated monstrosities from the sewers.

In the fall, their crops grow incredibly immense; pumpkins twice as tall as a person, big enough that someone could live inside. The farmer cuts it down with an axe without even batting an eye. Does Lewis wonder, when he checks the collection bin that night and finds it full to the brim with pumpkin flesh? What does he think? Does he even leave the money? Does he have the funds to pay the farmer millions of dollars for the massive amounts of wine they sell? Or is it someone--something--else entirely?

In the winter, the farmer delves into the mines. No one in Pelican Town has been down there in decades. No one in living memory has been to the bottom. The farmer gets there within the season. They return to the surface with stories of dwarven ruins and shadow people, stories they only tell to Vincent and Jas, whose retellings will be dismissed by the adults as flights of fancy. People walking by the entrance to the mines sometimes hear the farmer in there, speaking in a language no one can understand. Something speaks back.

The farmer speaks to the the wizard. They speak to the spirit of a bear inside a centuries-old stone. They speak to the shadow people and the dwarves, ancient enemies, and they try to mend the rift. They speak to the Junimos, ancient spirits of the forest and the river and the mountain. They taste the nectar of the stardrops and speak to the valley itself. They change Pelican Town, and they change the valley. Things are waking up.

And what does Evelyn think? She's the oldest person in the valley; she was here when the farmer's grandfather was young. (How old *is* she, anyway? She never seems to age. She doesn't remember the year she was born.) Does she see the farmer and think of their grandfather? Does she try to remember if he was like this too, strange and wild and given the gifts of the forest?

And does their grandfather haunt the valley? He haunts the farm, still there even after his death; his body died somewhere else, but his spirit could never stay away for long. Does Abigail, using her ouija board on a stormy night, almost drop the planchette when she realizes it's moving on its own? Does Shane, walking to work long before anyone else leaves their house, catch glimpses of a wispy figure floating through the town? Does the farmer know their grandfather came back to the place they both love so much?

Mr. Qi takes interest in the farmer. He's different, too; in a different way, maybe, but the principles are the same. They're both exceptional, and no matter what Qi says about it being hard work and dedication, they both know the truth: the world bends around the both of them, changing to fit their needs. Most people aren't visited by fairies or witches. Most people don't have meteorites crash in their yard. Most people couldn't chop down trees all day without a break or speak to bears and mice and frogs.

The farmer is different. The rules of the world don't work for them the way they work for everyone else. The farmer goes fishing and finds the stuff of fairy tales. The farmer goes mining and fights shadow beasts and flying snakes. The farmer looks at paths the townspeople walk every day and finds buried in the dirt relics of lost civilizations.

The farmer is a violent, irrepressible miracle, chosen by the valley and destined to return to it someday. Even if they'd never received the letter, they would've come home.

They always come home eventually.

[space-bowl]

Unconditional love.

Based on this meme, shoutout to whoever made it (I saved it a while ago so if you see this and it's you, please let me know!):

[thatnununguy]

PLEASREE PLEASE SHOW MORE EQUIGAM ART PLEASE!!!!!!

When in doubt — post yaoi art. Or however the saying goes. Perchance.

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 48-52)

FOUND.

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[hychlorions]

you were a fleeting, transient love

[kensatou]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

[paprikkamspaint]

[GF]

I put this togheter with sticks and glue, sweat, and other fluids - -- Enjoy! I will never doin' it again! (I probably will)(?)

Happy halloween for those who celebrate it as well!