#this is Old old

[cuties-in-codices]

the 12 months and their corresponding peasant work (+ close-up of december)

in an encyclopedic miscellany ("liber calculationis"), salzburg, c. 818 AD

source: Munich, BSB, Clm 210, fol. 91v

[rozaceous]

Road to Ninja!Mariko? Or maybe a zombie apocalypse au Mariko? I’m sorry I only have very stupid ideas.

An AU where she is reincarnated earlier in canon? Like around 2nd or 3rd war?

anon, you had no way of knowing this, but my original naruto oc was not in fact mariko, though the two share any number of traits! i ended up abandoning that line bc i couldn't wrangle the amnt of foreknowledge required to make canon come out vaguely canon-like, my ideas about canon kept evolving, and there wasn't a plot so much as a few scenes i had in mind.

but here, have nohara yua, who got assigned to uchiha shisui's genin team. (yes, that nohara) she's end-of 3rd war era, approximately, bc kishimoto's timeline is...flexible. i know this isn't quite what you were poking at, but it's what i've got so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yua all but slams down the last of the dishes on the puny dining table in Sasuke's puny apartment before slamming herself down in front of it all.

"All right, kid," she says, starting to serve herself from the pot of stew. Sasuke warily follows suit. "We're gonna have a talk, and it'll be a bit gross because feelings are a thing, but bear with me. Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu."

Yua prods her stew until it's fully mixed with her rice. "Right. So, excepting my older sister with whom I do not get on most days ending in a y, and a friend who's probably crazier than me, I've basically lost everyone I've ever loved. Family, friends, mentors--my heart's a graveyard. And this isn't my idea of attempting compassion," she says warningly, not missing Sasuke's sudden curled lip. He frowns at her instead, caught out. "I'm telling you this because you should know from the get-go that I'm not what you might call emotionally stable. On the other hand, most shinobi aren't, but then again, most aren't quite the level of fucked up I've attained. Though I can name a few. Whatever. That said, I'm also really fucking good at my job."

She shovels a couple of bites into her mouth while Sasuke looks on with an expression of vague disgust at her lack of manners. Yua doesn't give a shit.

"The Academy's probably going to be doing away with early graduation entirely pretty soon since we aren't in wartime and no one wants to chance repeating your precious brother--" Sasuke flinches almost imperticibly and Yua tramples on "--but with that caveat, I graduated at the age of nine, got promoted to Chunnin at ten, and was a jounin by the time I was fourteen. I made the bingo books when I was twelve, and right now I'm listed anywhere from B to S rank. Depends on the country, but Suna's shit and practically lives to piss me off, so the day they give me the satisfaction of treating me like a real threat is the day they get snow in their forecast. They're just bitter that I'm better at wind jutsu than them anyways. Iwa and Kiri are better, though, they take me seriously and have a pretty accurate take on my abilities between the two of them.

"My honest self-assessment is that I'm A to S rank, depending on what type of work you're looking for. I'm not an all-rounder by any means. My taijutsu is decent, bukijutsu is acceptable, and my genjutsu are good but my repertoire is pretty small. I'm ninjutsu type, through and through, and that much I'm damn good at. There's maybe two ninja in the village that can give me a run for my money in ninjutsu, and one of them's the Hokage."

Sasuke has virtually abandoned his stew to stare at her beadily, interested despite himself.

"Now I did all that without any bloodline bullshit, without clan techniques, and almost exclusively being self-taught. And since you're clearly wondering why the fuck I'm telling you my résumé, I'll say: if you wanna learn, I'll teach you."

Sasuke's eyes flare wide and, never one to miss an opportunity to pause dramatically, Yua takes another couple bites.

"Why would you teach me?" Sasuke demands as soon as it's clear that she's not immediately going to explain herself. "I barely even know you."

Yua chokes on a laugh while mid-chew and then starts coughing. She ends up having to gulp water to clear her esophagus.

"Yeah, that's true enough," she admits once she has herself under control. "I've got no credentials as a teacher, either; I've always sort of brushed off taking on a genin team even though I'm sure I'd like it. Partly it's because once you teach someone something, even though you're technically responsible, you've got no control over how they use what you've taught them. Students go errant all the time. And partly it's that I'm an emotionally stunted softie who would imprint all over a bunch of baby genin and mother them within an inch of their lives.

"But I'm still hoping that you'll take me on, kid. Itachi wants to fuck up our lives? Fuck that, I say. He wants you to get strong, to live like shit, all full of unhappiness and hate just to have the chance of taking him in a fight?" Sasuke's hand is white-knuckled over his spoon. "Fuck that," Yua says passionately. "Fuck that asshole and fuck what he wants. I'll make you strong enough that there won't be a damn person in the world, not Itachi or anybody, who can tell you how to live your life. Because if I can give you my skill set, your eye magic baloney combined with the fact that you've got talent in spades and a damn good work ethic will mean that you'll be virtually untouchable."

It's true, too. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control would be able to steal and then duplicate any jutsu like Kakashi on steroids because of the lack of chakra drain from being able to properly turn off the doujutsu and the efficiency in performing those jutsu. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control who can use substitution jutsu so well that it's basically teleportation? Unmatched versatility in attacking, superior speed, evasion, illusions-- the word invulnerable comes to Yua's mind.

---

Yua decides that it's time to step in when Naruto is unconscious at Sasuke's feet and the transformation granted by the curse mark starts to recede from his body. She substitutes from her place in the trees to a spot atop the water in his line of sight, just far enough away that he isn't going to feel provoked. Nonetheless, he jolts when he sees her, and she feels the chakra rising in him as though to attack.

"Calm down," she says quietly, words nearly lost in the crashing rush of the waterfall behind her.

Sasuke's hands return to his side, but they're clenched into fists and he regards her warily.

"Yua." His voice is raspy, a little dull. And no wonder, if he's just finished attempting to beat the life out of his best friend only for his tutor to show up. "I'll fight you, too, if I have to."

There's no relish in the words.

"No," she says, still quiet, feeling like the moment deserves her solemnity. "I'd say you've demonstrated your resolve to leave. I won't be the one to drag you back."

---

Sasuke stares at Yua, feeling something almost like panic climbing up his throat.

"The--your mission--"

"Fuck the mission, Sasuke," she says gently, and her expression is sad but not accusing.

He doesn't understand. He'd steeled himself as soon as he'd seen her, knowing that for her to show up at such an opportune moment meant that she'd likely been watching the fight between him and Naruto and that she now has a perfect grasp of her surroundings and Sasuke's condition. And Sasuke knows that even if he were in top shape and had the full use of the curse mark, even if his chakra wasn't as weak as the flame of a candle, he would stand little chance against Yua. She'd shown him the gap in their skills often enough, after all, and she's the one that he's closest to ever since everyone died, the one who made sure he ate well and did his homework and got enough rest, who taught him chakra control and how to shunshin, who calls him things like Little Duck and ruffles his hair no matter how much he protests. Naruto may be his friend, but Yua is the closest thing to family that he has left, is the person with the strongest claim to him, the one most likely to make him return, either through force or personal ties.

Even so, he'd been willing to fight.

So for her to stand before him now and announce that she's abandoning the mission that so many of his peers have hurt themselves over, that she'll ignore the orders of her Kage with ease, and all of it without the faintest trace of judgment on her face after he's tried to kill his best friend--he's just like Itachi who stole Shisui from her--

Yua must understand whatever his features are telling her without words, because she says, "I told you at the beginning that the danger of teaching is that the teacher has no control over how the student uses what they're taught."

Students go errant all the time, his memory echoes, as if summoned by her reminder. He feels it like a punch to the gut. He'd known, before, that he was essentially betraying her by leaving Konoha for Orochimaru, but now he knows it the same way that he knows one of his ribs is fractured.

"But I also told you," she says, "that I wanted you to be strong enough that no one could tell you how to live your life. And that's what I want, for you to have the power to make your own destiny. And you think that Orochimaru has something that no one else does. That his offer of power is unique, superior. So, as the one who promised that to you initially, I apologize for failing you."

And she inclines her head--Yua bows her head--

"Stop," he says in a gasp, and there's moisture building in his eyes. If it sounds like he's begging, it's because he is, because if Yua keeps talking, keeps forgiving him, then his resolve will fail him and everything will have been pointless.

"No," she says, with sudden firmness, and she stares him straight in the eye. "You're choosing your own fate, Sasuke, and I won't resent you for it. This is the path you're walking now, and you can't turn back, you can't be swayed. That's what it means to tangle with destiny--there's no room for regret. And if you're going to Orochimaru, there can't be a single doubt in your heart."

"But why?!" The question rips out of him in his desperation to understand. "After all of this, after everything, why would you let me go?! How can I--how--you--"

"Because I love you," she says without hesitation, even though he sees the glossy film covering her eyes and starting to stick to her lashes. The ferocity of her words takes him aback as much as the content. Literally, too; Sasuke takes a half-step back. "Love is the tie that binds us to one another, but it's not a chain. And anyways, I promised you freedom."

Yua starts to walk towards him, and he stands frozen beside Naruto's unconscious form until she's right in front of him. He thinks, somewhat hysterically, that he really doesn't stand a chance against Yua in a fight if all she has to use is a few words before he's as paralyzed as a fearful rabbit. Naruto--and he forces down an absurd giggle--could stand to learn from her.

She pulls him into her chest tightly and he's helpless against her. No matter that she's only barely taller than him now, no matter the muscle and experience he's gained; she overpowers him.

The hand she has pressed to the back of his head trembles. And then, before he's had time to relax into the embrace, she releases him.

"Take care," she says, and a pair of tears streak down past the purple marks on her cheeks. Sasuke studiously ignores the damp spot he's left on her shoulder.

"I--I will," he says.

They stare at each other for a long moment, each aware that they won't be seeing one another any time soon, and that the next time they meet they may very well be on opposing sides. Sasuke feels something burning deep in his chest, something that's been aflame ever since he'd started fighting Naruto in earnest. It hurts him, warms him; he feels like he's going to choke.

"Now get outta here, kid."

Still helpless against her, he listens.

---

Yua's washing her parents' and sister's headstone like she has every fourth Friday for the past several years when Kakashi finds her. She hands him a soft brush; she's learned to bring more than one.

Kakashi, faintly smudged with dirt and smelling of tree sap and algae and sweat, takes it from her wordlessly, crouching and dousing the brush in her bucket of water. His strokes across the stone are precise and thorough, practiced, and they work in quiet symphony for several minutes.

Finally, he leans back on his heels and says, "I thought you were going to talk some sense into him."

If it's not anything to do with work, Kakashi tends to say only exactly as much as he has to, speaking in bare thesis statements without the supplementary paragraphs that show how he's reached his conclusions, and as such, Yua has become extremely good at reading between Kakashi's lines.

Sasuke is gone, and Kakashi doesn't know why she didn't do more to stop him.

She exhales slowly and with purposeful evenness, offering respectful attention to the characters of her mother's name as she washes them. "I think Sasuke is operating from a different definition of sensible."

Kakashi's snort lacks humor.

"He's no fool, Kakashi," she says lowly. "Rash and impulsive, sure, but not stupid. I'm sure he knows exactly what he's walking into. Orochimaru's made no secret of wanting Sasuke's body for his own."

"I fail to see how giving Orochimaru the precise thing he wants fits any definition of sensible," Kakashi says dryly.

"There's a three-year timeline before Orochimaru can take another body," Yua contradicts. "And I think that for Sasuke it'll be plenty of time."

"For?"

"Becoming strong enough to kill Orochimaru and eliminating the threat against him altogether." Kakashi's head turns to her slightly, but Yua only notes the motion in her peripheral vision. "For better or worse, Konoha's changed since either of us were genin. At his age, I was a chuunin in the bingo books of all the major countries and you were a jounin. Don't get me wrong, in terms of comprehensive skill level, Sasuke is above where I was, but I would've won in a fight because of experience. Experience is a hard teacher, but if you manage to survive it, there's nothing better. And with that stupid curse mark and the certain knowledge that he's targeted by Orochimaru, how much field work could Sasuke really have been guaranteed?"

Kakashi's gaze on her is wary, but he doesn't interrupt.

"If he'd stayed, Sasuke would've been trained to the bone, but he would've been coddled from the world outside the village," Yua says. "And Orochimaru's already breached Konoha's defenses, has killed the Kazekage and the Sandaime Hokage. There's no guarantee that he wouldn't do something equally drastic again for the chance of getting at Sasuke, with no attention to collateral damage. And besides, if we were truly capable of keeping him safe, he wouldn't have that curse mark in the first place. So I'd say Sasuke is taking a lot of factors into account."

Kakashi sighs, running a hand through his messy stack of hair. Yua glances over, intrigued as always at the sight. If his hair is stiff and voluminous enough to defy gravity as it does, how does his hand not get caught?

"Then I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that my student is relatively safer in the hands of the S-class nuke-nin that wants to throttle his soul and possess his body," he bites out. "Especially since I like to think that between the two of us, even Orochimaru wouldn't be too much to handle."

"I'm retired from field work," Yua reminds him, though in truth she's warm at the open expression of respect at her abilities considering how long it's been since they've worked together.

Kakashi gives her a flat look. "I seem to remember you holding your own during the Crush just fine."

"I suppose," she says blandly. "But the fact of the matter is that Sasuke doesn't think that he has anything left to learn from me. And maybe he's right; there's only so many chakra control exercises I can give him. I'm in no position to offer field work."

"There was an easy way to change that and you know it."

Yua drops her brush and pours the remaining water over the stones. Some of it splashes at her bared toes. Kakashi offers his brush back and it clatters into the bottom of the bucket.

She joins Kakashi in resting in a squat, butt nearly touching the ground and her arms crossed over her knees, chin resting upon them.

"My goal in teaching Sasuke was to make him strong enough to choose his own destiny. And what he does with what I've taught him has always been his decision."

"Yua--"

"Was I supposed to drag him back?" Yua interrupts, surly. "He's demonstrated his resolve to leave, I'd say. I couldn't love that boy more if he were my own flesh and blood, but I'm not going to chain him down based on some hypocritical idea of what I think is best for him. I can only trust that I've taught him well enough that he'll make it. The other option is despair and agony and I've had enough of that for my lifetime, thanks very much."

She presses her eyes into her forearms. "I've made, Kakashi. I kept him as safe as I could all this time, I trained him and made sure he ate properly, I taught him how to keep house for himself, asked about his grades in school and what he learned in class. But never once did I tell him about my true motive in retiring to hospital work. I wasn't as honest as I should have been, and part of me--I want Sasuke in my life forever, but part of me is glad he's gone so I don't have to worry as much about the fallout of my actions. And part of me is scared of what he'll do when he finds out what I've kept from him."

There is, for a long moment, silence.

"You've always acted according to Sasuke's best interests." Kakashi's voice leaves no room for rebuttal. "If you weren't honest with him, it's because it wasn't safe. You know that as well as I do--better, even, so don't go beating yourself up about it. No one expected you to take care of Sasuke and no one would have asked it of you, but you stepped in where no one else did. You've done a good job with him, Yua, and if you're saying that you think he's strong enough to make it on his own, I'm sure he'll come out on top. Though I don't like it.

"And as for what'll happen when he finds out the truth…" Yua dares to peek up from her arms as Kakashi pauses, and he treats her to an eye smile. "Maa, don't underestimate how much that brat loves you, too."

"Tch." But despite the lingering sense of anxiety, Yua does feel comforted. And then she snickers. "Look at us, having a conversation about feelings like emotionally competent adults. Is there snow soon?"

"You can speak for yourself," Kakashi says primly. "I am certainly not and never plan to be something so dull and mature-sounding as emotionally competent. It's likely dreadful and far too much work. Besides, I have an image to maintain."

"Yes, heaven forbid that I mar your reputation as the Angst Lord of Konoha."

"Precisely."

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, and I like the gloom. My dislikes are sunshine and good cheer. Hobbies include brooding over my tragic past and staring moodily off into the distance. I have no dreams for the future because hope is a delusion for those too afraid to engage with the despair that is reality."

"You know me so well."

Yua laughs.

---

Tsunade hasn't been back in Konoha for very long, but she's been around long enough to hear about how Konoha's once-notorious Nohara Yua, whose fame had reached even derelict pubs and casinos, had turned into the sweet-mannered, harmless-looking woman barely past girlhood that had first greeted Tsunade upon her arrival in the village hospital. Well, Tsunade has nothing against sweet manners or looking harmless, acknowledges their advantages, even, but Nohara Yua had embodied those qualities to the extent that Tsunade had started to think that the girl who had been renowned as the Windwalker and internationally feared as a ninjutsu master had been the result of overblown rumor, carefully planted misdirection, and willful blindness.

Initially, Tsunade had found her to be a competent enough doctor, and generally inoffensive. Upon learning who exactly had briefed her on her new patients' statuses and given her the rundown on current hospital procedures, the cognitive dissonance had been so great that she'd had to be assured that yes, it was that Nohara Yua. No, really.

And the nurse assuring Tsunade had, with the reluctance born of politeness and the thoroughness born of a love for gossip, told an astonished Shizune and skeptical Tsunade in an undertone why the Windwalker was working as a member of hospital staff. And then Tsunade had been well aware that she was in no place to make comments about lifestyle choices after losing a lover.

Still, that the woman apparently took on D-rank home repair missions as a hobby did not inspire Tsunade to believe that Nohara was ever anything other than a reasonably talented kunoichi whose offensive abilities had been rather exaggerated, both out of strategic convenience and a desire by other kunoichi for a female figure to look up to as the next--well, her. And even if Nohara had been as lethal as her reputation had painted her, Tsunade had been sure that that person was as dead as Uchiha Shisui, replaced by someone content to live out the rest of her life in a much quieter fashion.

But Tsunade only had been sure because right now the woman in question is standing in front of her desk next to Hatake Kakashi, explaining oh-so-succinctly about the steaming pile of shit that Hiruzen-sensei had left her to inherit, the ooze and stench of which is still far from stale for all that the rug has been thrown over it for almost half a decade. The same festering dung heap that Nohara has apparently been investigating secretly and under her own initiative, with no one but Hatake in the know, for the last four years.

"So let me get this straight," Tsunade says, in the full knowledge that she'll be getting absolutely plastered later this evening no matter what Shizune has to say about it. "The Uchiha were planning a coup against Konoha leadership."

"Yes."

"And the Sandaime was aware of this."

"Yes."

"And not only did Itachi not go insane and kill his entire clan, but he was acting under orders. From Danzo. Whom Itachi believed to have the Hokage's approval."

"Yes."

"And Itachi is now acting as an undercover agent without a handler in the international terrorist organization known as Akatsuki."

"That's correct."

"While Danzo is currently operating a secret military organization within Konoha itself, which answers only to him, and which the Sandaime falsely believed to have been dissolved as he ordered several years ago."

"Yes."

"And this organization has infiltrated Konoha's active forces on every level with no one the wiser, and has been taking and executing missions without official sanction."

Nohara's gaze slides to the alcove of Tsunade's office, where the ANBU agent on duty is hidden under seal--oh fucking shit--

"ANBU Cat is someone I trust with my life," Hatake inserts smoothly.

"What a fucking relief," Tsunade snarls. "Cat, get over here."

Cat is crouched in front of her in a flash.

"Get that decorative plate off your face, Cat," she snaps. Cat follows her instruction with admirable speed and Tsunade looks into the unassuming features of a man approximately Yua's age who is clearly struggling to master some kind of emotion that makes him look extremely nauseous. "Your name, Cat. Not ANBU designation."

"Tenzou, Hokage-sama."

"Right. Tenzou. How long have you served in ANBU?"

"Seven years, Hokage-sama."

"Long enough to have known Uchiha Itachi."

"We were briefly on the same ANBU team, Hokage-sama, along with Kakashi-senpai and Yua-senpai."

"And do the events that Nohara has just finished describing sound plausible to you?"

Tenzou's eyes lower momentarily before conscientiously returning to meet her gaze. "They sound as plausible as Itachi having a violent mental break, Hokage-sama."

"And do you know of this organization called ROOT?"

In response, Tenzou opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out as far as it will go. For one horrible second Tsunade flounders, wondering if this is some faddish gesture she's too old to understand, and then she sees the seal.

"That bastard," Tsunade whispers.

Nohara snorts. "Yeah, he likes to seal up the tongues of anyone who does work for him so they can't blab. Most of my investigation into ROOT has been looking at what should be there, not what is. You find it by spotting the empty space.

"I know that he has shinobi that he's trained specifically for years, and then there are others who have engaged in missions with him thinking that they're partaking in some extra black black ops, not aware that they're doing anything that isn't perfectly legitimate, if secret beyond all reason. Kakashi got sucked in years ago, before he realized that Danzo was operating off books, and Danzo dropped him like a hot cake and left him to fester under that godforsaken seal. Recon work has been a bitch."

"If your goal was to squirrel out ROOT, why didn't you return to ANBU?" Tsunade questions narrowly. "Surely it would have been easier to gather intelligence while on Danzo's recruiting grounds."

Nohara stills, looking discomfited for the first time. "There were several reasons," she says finally. "Part of it is that I wanted to be there for Sasuke, and having a set schedule at the hospital and no missions taking me out of the village made that considerably easier. Part of it's that I want Danzo to think I'm none the wiser to his schemes, and I'd say I've done a good job of being soft and overly emotional, exactly like he hates in shinobi. And then, well, I honestly wasn't in any shape to take on ANBU work." Nohara clenches her hands at her sides, and her stare is borderline defiant. "My partner had just died under suspicious circumstances, my friend and captain had killed his clan and turned missing-nin. Not to mention, I'd just finished recovering from a mission that I'm pretty sure was supposed to off me. Bluntly, I was a fucking mess."

Hatake slides Nohara a look and Tenzou does the same, though Tenzou's look has the distinct tinge of pity whereas Hatake's is merely assessing.

"Mostly though," Nohara continues, "I no longer had faith in the Hokage. Shisui went to the Sandaime about the coup, and the next thing I knew, Shisui was dead and the Uchiha clan was gone. Things had gone extremely and terribly wrong and I knew that either the Sandaime was in on it, or he'd been too ineffective to prevent it. I could never betray the village that Shisui loved so much, that my family died to protect, but neither could I serve under Sarutobi Hiruzen."

Tsunade understands her phrasing perfectly. The village that her entire family--barring one estranged sister--had died for. The village that Shisui had loved. Not Yua.

"I can understand using Sasuke's departure from the village as the the impetus for bringing this to my attention," Tsunade says slowly. "But I have to ask the question: what do you plan to do if I don't pursue your investigation? What if I decide to leave things buried, or even to silence everyone in this room?"

Hatake freezes entirely, expressionless, and Tenzou's eyes widen.

Nohara merely blinks.

"I came to you with this information because I think that you have a sense of justice," she says. "The Sandaime was too focused on mercy, not realizing that mercy without justice is nothing but weakness. Honestly, I think the man was a coward. But you know the pain that I know, Tsunade-sama, and you left Konoha because you couldn't abide the senselessness of the loss, and I think that you're back because you want to see that loss made meaningful. And if that's the case, if what I hope and think about you is correct, then I'm ready to serve you in whatever capacity you think best without reservation.

"But if not." Nohara's voice doesn't harden or raise, her face doesn't shift. Even so, the room feels a degree colder. "Even heaven won't stop me, Tsunade-sama. I'm not interested in revenge, but if you deny justice to me, to Sasuke and Itachi and all the dead, then there will be no stopping me. I won't let anyone demean the ideal that every shinobi on the Memorial Stone died to honor and uphold. I won't let the Konoha that so many have fought and hurt for turn into an empty shell, devoid of meaning. I've done my best these last few years to work so that this wrong can be resolved as peacefully as possible. And even if I let it be a convenient face, I've genuinely tried to live gently and kindly. But in the end, I'm a shinobi. If it means that I can look the boy I raised in the eye, if it means I can take my friend's hands and let him put down his sword, and if it means that when I die I can say to my parents and my sister and my partner that nothing they suffered was in vain, then I will use every scrap of knowledge and strength I possess for violence, and I won't hesitate to cut down you or anyone who stands in my way."

Silence reigns, and Tsunade doubts that her left eyebrow has ever strained so high. Yes, the woman before her is certainly no accommodating doctor. This is a woman who is every bit the efficient killer of her mythology and then some, crafty and slippery and with a diamond will.

She scoffs. "I'll consider myself warned, then."

[casyawn]

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

[onebadnoodle]

dipper and mabel bad end where they end up like ford and stan

[nintooner]

This is the highest compliment I could receive on my art

[noodles-and-tea]

:(((

[apocalypsegay]

i don't think he clicked through

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them

[jenjen4280]

Taken in 2000 about a year into our relationship.

Taken in 2024 (last weekend). Didn’t quite get the pose or positioning right, but hey, we’re older and our memory ain’t what it used to be!

[hansoeii]

the honda odyssey, huh?

[chilewithcarnage]

'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

[mushiver]

I know what you're all definitely thinking. What if everyone from Gravity Falls was a chair. Well, I was bored enough at 3am to think about that too

Edit: part 2

[plaguedocboi]

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

[skipppppy]

I think she’d respect his methodology

[catch57]