#this hits harder because stuff like that happened in our real world

[cienie-isengardu]

5. A gift from the past.

Up until the moment the officer gazes at the holo of the infant boy, it’s easy to believe Loi’e may have been mistaken in her identification of the eyepatch-wearing Imperial. But as he removes his cap to show the scars where two horns once protruded from his skull, we know her intuition has served her well. And instead of just another nameless Imperial soldier, a cog in the Empire’s galactic machine, we begin to see him as Loi’e did. A little boy who was stolen, a child who was indoctrinated, and a young man who can still change his mind.

[seresinhangmanjake]

Late Date

Summary: It’s your birthday and Tyler’s going to do some wrangling to make sure no tornado can ruin your day. Unfortunately, that also makes him and the Wranglers a bit late to your party. 

Notes/Warnings: Fluff. It’s not angsty at all, despite how the summary may sound. Inaccurate meteorology/tornado stuff. Slight jealousy. This is based on a lyrics request: “you’ve got long hair slicked back white t shirt and I’ve got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt.” It’s just meant to be kinda cute, and I did my best, so hopefully you guys like it. Comments make my entire world, so if you do like it, let me know :)

Words: 1650

Tyler Owens Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag List

It happens often. You and Tyler are enjoying your time together when Disaster suddenly puts you in her path. A picnic in the park, a late-evening rodeo, a dinner date for him to meet your mother—all ruined. And yes, you believe Disaster does this intentionally. Disaster, in the form of a funnel of warm air and moisture, is as much in love with your boyfriend as you are, and she’s a jealous bitch, always calling him away when he’s in the throes of life with you. 

Luckily for Tyler, you’re not as jealous as his tornado. You’re not as greedy. When he leaves you to meet her, you let him go because he’s the town hero, and you don’t let your emotions get in the way of his job. After all, he does what he does to save the things he loves—this town, his family, you. And regardless of the time he spends with her, you know you’re his number one. 

Today, however, you could do without his job. The jealousy that you have rarely felt up to this point seeps through as he throws your favorite white t-shirt of his over his sculpted chest before buckling the belt wrapped around his jean-clad hips. He stomps one foot down into his boot and then the other before rifling through the dresser chest at the base of the bed.

“You have to do this on my birthday?” you ask, trying not to pout from your seated position on the mattress. The silk sleeve of your robe falls down your shoulder, exposing bare skin, and despite the chill, you don’t pull the garment back up your arm. Anything to keep him in this bed, you think, and for a moment, you you’re satisfied that it might be working. Tyler pauses on his hunt for a clean flannel as his eyes glue to your chest, your pebbled nipples just barely hidden by the rest of the smooth, thin material. 

You sit up on your knees and wrap your arms around his neck, but it’s from your touch that Tyler finally blinks, shakes his head, and says, “Darlin’, wouldn’t you rather feel reassured that your evening tonight will go tornado-free? I’m just going to go with the guys, disrupt anything that’s already formed, and observe the conditions as best I can so we don’t get any coming our way when we’re supposed to be celebrating another year of your life.”

It’s hard to argue with him when he hits you with logic, but it’s made harder by the pout on his face. That is supposed to be your pout. He’s the one leaving you on your birthday—decent reason or not—not the other way around. 

“Fine,” you say.

Tyler grins from ear to ear. He leans in and captures your lips in a long kiss before pulling back and brushing your unkempt hair out of your face. “We’ll meet you at the bar, ok?”

Nodding, you say, “Yea,” and untangle your arms from his neck. He gives you one last kiss. 

“Happy Birthday, darlin’” glides to your ear in his smooth, low voice, and then he’s out the door. 

—

“He’ll be here,” your cousin tells you. You’ve been staring at the bar door for a half-hour, disappointed with each new blond cowboy who walks into the crowded space. “When has he ever let you down?”

You sigh. “I know. But why did the bitchy tornadoes have to run wild today of all days? He said they chased four between here and the next town over, and two of them put up a real fight,” you say, relaying the information of Tyler’s earlier texts. “Plus, it’s raining now. That’ll only make it more difficult for them to get back.”

The bartender offers you and your cousin the drinks she ordered. She winks at him and downs the entire glass in one gulp—which he seems to find very impressive—before nudging your glass closer to your folded hands atop the counter. 

“Well, the only thing to do is drink up,” she orders. “Might as well have fun while we wait.”

—

You’re two drinks in. Your cousin has knocked back four, and while she’s no lightweight, the effects show in the uptick of her flirtiness with the bartender. She’s agreed to wait around until his shift is over, which was quickly retracted when she remembered that it’s your birthday and the fun she is meant to be having is with you, not the hot guy who stopped charging her for drinks an hour ago. But you assuage her guilt, knowing you have no intention of hanging around a crowded bar until two in the morning unless your boyfriend is going to be with you, birthday or not. 

With the acceptance of your third drink, you hope to easier ignore the appreciative glances from the blond cowboys on the other side of the mass of dancers in the center of the room. You must be a sunny-haired, country boy’s type, but they aren’t your man, and to be honest, you’re surprised they’re daring enough to look so long. The town is small enough that you figured by now everyone knows you’re Tyler’s girl, but clearly, that’s not the case. Either that or they just don’t care. 

When you start to feel it—the slight high, the looser inhibitions—you decide the best course of action is to simply ignore them, and so you hop down from the stool and make your way to the dance floor to do exactly that, planting yourself in the middle of a group of like-minded women swaying their hips to the tune. Like that, you let yourself go, alcohol allowing you to surrender to the flow of the feminine voice coming through the speakers. Your mind drifts, your eyes close, and when you feel a hand on your waist, you think of Tyler. When hips grind against yours, you think of Tyler. When lips touch your neck, you think of Tyler. And when your eyes open, you see Tyler.

He steps into the bar with the Wranglers in tow, his soaked white t-shirt clinging to his torso that every woman—even those invested in men of their own—notices, his hands slicking back his damp locks. With a grin on his handsome face, he glances around the space in search of you, but when he finds you, that grin drops faster than a rock can hit the ground. 

It’s then that you realize the paws on your body are not his. The breath hitting behind your ear is that of a stranger. Tyler’s stomping his way over to you, but you don’t need him to release his building rage because you have plenty of your own. 

Flipping around, your palm meets the cheek of one of the knock-off Tylers. He yelps and rubs his face. His irises turn red, and he looks ready to give you a scolding or call you some sort of vile name, but his eyes widen at the shadow that suddenly looms over you and he shrinks where he stands. 

“Y-Your girlfriend?” he eeks out. 

It’s fascinating to see the demeanor shift. Tyler must have more of a reputation than you realized. You haven’t lived in town long—you moved in with him three weeks ago after a year of long-distance dating—but you’ve known for a while that he is well-loved and anyone who crosses him crosses the town. What you didn’t know was that the people’s devotion to their tornado-wrangling hero could incite such fear. And honestly, you’re a little impressed; a little turned on. 

Tilting your chin up, the back of your head lands against your boyfriend’s chest. His arm comes around your waist, hand flattening over your stomach. “You think?” he spits. 

When knock-off Tyler skitters back to the gaggle of knock-off Tylers, your Tyler turns you around to face him. With a cocked brow, he says, “Now, darlin’, what was that?”

You shrug. “Thought he was you.”

Tyler looks over your shoulder to the group of blonds. His eyes narrow. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’ve had a bit to drink,” you chuckle.

His mouth parts, an ahh sound leaving his throat as if to say, ‘That explains it.’ “Where’s your cousin?” His gaze follows yours to the familiar woman whose body is half thrown over the countertop, her lips connected to the guy whose neglect of other patrons is about to cause a riot. But you don’t care about a likely-to-be-fired bartender; you care that your boyfriend was absent for so much of your birthday.

“What took you so long?”

You’ve started to gently sway with the music again, this time taking the correct Tyler with you. Your hands clasp behind his neck as his link around your waist, pulling you in close. 

“Sorry, darlin’. It was rougher than we anticipated,” he says, and though you expected to be much more put out, you feel settled with that explanation. You’re just happy he’s with you now and not standing you up for a date with his unpredictable weather. “You look pretty,” he tells you as his palms slide down over the skirt that’s snuggly fitted around your hips. “I haven’t seen this one before.”

“Bought it today.”

“For me?”

“For me.” You roll your eyes. “But I might have guessed you’d like it.”

He hums, gaze raking appreciate up your body to your mouth. “I do,” he says, then he presses his lips to yours. However, remembering the scarlet hue coating your lips, you quickly pull back. 

“Your whole mouth is going to be red if you keep kissing me.”

Tyler’s brow pinches. One hand’s fingers glide up your body and slip between the strands of your hair. “Good,” he says. “Then people will know we’re a matching set.”

[majorbaby]

it takes a conscious effort to break your patterns of consumption and unlearn the notion beauty, interiority, diverse ways of existence aren't exclusive to whiteness or maleness. part of that isn't your fault. certain music is played on the radio, certain shows survive cancellation no matter what, certain people seem to be able to commit the worst possible acts against other human beings and are excused on account of their creative genius. others are selectively punished, with good reason sure, but still, selectively.

now more than ever it's easier to immerse yourself in art made by people outside of the mainstream. reading lists, free resources, playlists... all this stuff is more accessible than ever, but you've got to make an effort to give it a try. it's black history month, the recs are pouring in, go have a look. or take a chance on something absolutely no one has recommended anywhere and if you find something you like, rec it to someone else because the likelihood is they haven't heard of it.

tracy chapman's "fast car" is one of eleven songs that appears on her self-titled debut album. can you name the second hit single from it? if you're american and you fell anywhere left of center as of the 2016 election, it should be on the tip of your tongue if you were engaged in your country's politics at the time, regardless of your level of actual investment in the system. if not, the next time you're doing a task you need both hands with, washing the dishes, having dinner, doing your makeup, put that album on.

there's a post with over 100K notes on here that i see all the time of bruce springsteen and clarence clemons kissing. there's a part of that that is immediately meaningful to many if you're lgbtq, and a part that is harder for non-black lgbtq people to feel the weight of. but it is worth trying to do and was part of the reason why they kissed so often in the first place. clarence clemons was from norfolk, virginia. he released multiple albums outside of his work with the e street band. they may not be for you, but give them a try.

give enough music, or movies, or books that aren't a part of the approved canon a try, and there's no way you won't find something you don't feel as passionate about as you do about springsteen, siken, the beatles, what have you.

james baldwin was a prolific artist. see if you can't find something of his you like more than giovanni's room.

immerse yourself in ringo sheena, who mitski cites as one of her influences.

if you have difficulty paying attention to music you don't recognize, (i get it) make a playlist that alternates tracks you know and love with brand new tracks. start small. 5 faves of all time, 5 you're going to try out. you won't like everything, but you might find yourself looking forward to 6 songs instead of 5 eventually.

for movies, pick an actor whose performance you loved in something and explore their work. last year i picked whoopi goldberg, also a prolific artist, with a vast body of work that's pretty accessible as a result of her constant, intentional effort.

if you're an artist yourself, you can only stand to improve by getting to know your fellow artists better. so expand your notion of what art is. you can do it for free in lots of cases, and you're spending that time listening to music or reading or watching movies or series anyway, what have you got to lose?

anti-racism sometimes means engaging in real-world narratives of pain endured by brown and black people. that pain permeates much of our art, but we're just as three-dimensional as everybody else, and every aspect of our experiences come through in our work. you know that already, because what else is happening when you indulge in various genres. for everything you love or enjoy, there's a brown or black person who's doing something along those lines, in many cases, those genres wouldn't exist in their current form without the influence of our communities, some more than others, depending on where you're from. you can actually keep one foot inside your comfort zone and dip your toe into something else. that choice is both a joy and a luxury.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Was reading thru ur answered asks again (also hey lol i CAME BACK--) and like. Oh my god. It gave me The Most Idea.

So you get isekaied to Teyvat right? They hear your og language, they revere every single worf from your mouth, yadda yadda yadda. But like. How does SLANG AND THE OTHER ASPECTS OF UR OG LANGUAGE translate. I am having VERY heavy flashbacks to Pokemons "jelly filled donuts".

So like-- for example: (this is the first one that came to my head dont judge me i am tumblr trash) (lets also assume that traveler has perfect understanding of ur language and slang and all the nuances of it)

Lets say you and the traveler were hanging out with some of the Vision holders, and the traveler had some shenanigans and pranks or something planned. After they pull their shit, you say "i hate you so much (affectionate)". Which kind of throws the Vessels in for a loop because like-- their god literally just said they HATED someone. And hate is a PRETTY STRONG WORD. So they should DEFINITELY strike them down for catching their gods ire but-- AFFECTIONATE????? how does one hate someone affectionately???????? Does this mean their god hates the traveler but decided to recind their hate last second? Is it some form of Divine and Holy emotion that cannot be described by the mere words of their language????

Meanwhile youre just there vibin and having a blast with the traveler while you casually give them a philosophical crisis AHAHAHA

Another example is shortened words-- because i know teyvat doesnt have shit like "ily" or "omg" or "lmao" or "fyi" or "brb". Because honestly, without the cultural knowledge and background of the internet, these sets of letters are just fucking GIBBERISH.

And i know that like-- i know enough internet slang abbreviations that i can literally just talk in jumbles of letters, so how in the WORLD would the vessels interpret that? Because its very clear that their god is just using the letters of their language, HELL they might even use Teyvatian letters so what in the world are they saying????

So theyd just hear a convo between the traveler and reader thats like:

Reader: traveler, i gtg asap; tldr i forgot some stuff back in the cr brb

Traveler: wait fr?

Reader: yeah fr

Traveler: lol f

Reader: (sighs) ffs man-- anyways brb for real

Traveler: cya

And the vessels are just watching the exchange like "huh?? What????? What just happened here??????" And theyre just wondering if they used teyvatian to talk in the "divine language of the gods" but nah-- yall are just dickin around AHAHA

Hey, so it came to my attention some of this was AAVE, and while i am southern so things like "ya'll" got included w/o me thinking - thats not an excuse for me to use this as a white person.

so if you wouldnt mind letting me please know if i do this as we talk abt language more and more - i do not want to repeat shit like this again.

I'm genuinely sorry to any black readers out there.

I've personally seen and cringed with you when I see imagines/reader things that assume a white person as default,

All I can do in ur eyes is promise that I am actively putting a stop to my ignorance of things like AAVE, and ask for forgiveness (which you arent obligated to give, never feel that way).

So with that in mind, read the ask below with caution, although it has since been edited.

____

ITS YOU!! >:D

A treat for ur ask my liege 🤲🍪✨️

I think u were literally the first asker after my first SAGAU/Isekai language brainrot post!! Omg u came back with a banger LMAO

What in the public menace is this...

(Gif is traveler and u pranking bitches)

Traveler knowing our world + language + SLANG?? INTERNET?? is SUCH A CONCEPT

So much room for inside jokes

I absolutely love the first one u said about phrases these days/gen z ig? slang

Its like so dramatic now that i think about it

Hate / love / dead / die / just straight up threats towards ur friends as affection or if theyre annoying u 😭

So many explicitives that make it hit harder too "go fucking die, my love <3"

^^^Or yeah like contradictions lol

♤

I think it was @nexylaza (srry abt the tag!) who replied to one of my earlier asks about blunt language how that might sound like to Teyvatians like ur emotions sound more extreme than what u actually feeling (which makes sense ur literally using hate = mildly dislike LMAO)

Same situation here like what u said ^^^

♧

(Ok i did lovely Aether awhile back so we'll go w/ Lumine this time! <3 u Aether!!)

.

*idk at an event/party for your arrival or something, and ya hungry fucks r hoarding the buffet table lol 🍻

.

You: "Shut the fuck up Lumine-"

Lumine: "Why r u pouring ur drink like ur in a earthquake lmao? Shaky hands lol"

.

*The immediate area of people around you go dead silent

*Lumine laughs

💀💀!!

.

Lumine: "Your gonna miss our cups LMAO"

You: "Bitch!" (u grinnin too lol)

.

*the whole rooms now quiet 😭

.

Lumine: "Don't spill- 🤣"

You: "I fucking hate you u whore <3"

(And u give the most genuine like abt to laugh smile🥰 )

.

*...a confused and kinda scared tension fills the room lol

*So poor Noelle, is like, oh. my. god. Creator is that upset with Lumine?? I must try to see what happened, how I can help! I dont remember Lumine doing anything bad to them! Shes wonderful y u do this to her 🥲

.

Noelle: "Uh, um, e-excuse me? Is every-everything al-alright, Y-y-your Majesty?"

You: "Huh? Yeah why??"

Noelle: "...w-well..."

UR FACE LIKE "😗?" LMFAO

.

*The room is staring at Lumine, in a mix of like shock, fear, and a little admiration for taking ur hate?? mood swing??? so well,,

theyre just waiting on Noelle to get an answer from you as to why you hate someone u seemed to care so much about, esp since they were ur first vessel 💀

look what you did their poor hearts u gonna give them a heart attack soon

.

Noelle: "A-a-a-a-are y-y-you s-sure??"

SHE IS SWEATIN

You: "🤨🤨??"

.

*Lumine finally notices why theyre all quiet and kinda concerned looking, bc u sure as hell wouldnt 😭 (i mean it is normal speech for u)

.

And Lumine's like: "No Noelle we're all good! It's just how Your Grace's home world, er, speaks for slang? Its overexagerated purposely dont worry love"

...

...

*Im sure they dont all believe her (or even you if u tell them 😭) and are just like,, REALLY NERVOUS CHUCKLING WHILE LIKE SWEATING-

And it takes a good like 10 minutes for the conversations to start getting back to their volume again, and they all still are looking over their shoulder checking on you guys 😰

.

(U did pour drinks w/o spillin tho🍻)

♡

THE TEXTING SLANNGGG

Ok, but u and Lumine would fucking write letters to people, and being the little shits pranksters u are,

(Bc u kno Teyvat dont got nothing else bc we're in the medival ages, besides having cameras- 🙄 )

And u guys r constantly-

"oh yes yes, that sounds all well and good Keqing, please inform the Qixing that I'll be there ASAP"

AND THEN-

"oh haha, silly me, i forgot that only Lumine/you get that stuff, sorryyyy 😋!!!"

SOME PUBLIC MENACES LMFAO PLEASE

.

And it just spreads to ALLLL the official documents u write or literally any letters sent to anybody-

And everyone else is feeling like the friend that got sacrificed to walk in the grass instead of the sidewalk 💀💀

While also being like "??¿?¿??? 🥲🥲😀😀???"

Is this ancient code?? Why does Lumine get to know it??

Why dont the like??? really old deities understand it??!!

But then nerds like Tighnari, Albedo, Alhaitham, Zhongli, Sucrose, Ayaka, Kokomi, Xingqiu, Childe, Yanfei, Shenhe, Kazhua, Sara, Ayato, Heizou, Cyno, Kaeya

Try to "solve" the letters or slang, poor things and not a single one of them gets it (y did u do this to them lmao)

(God i finally looked at a character list so i wouldnt leave anyone out, but theres so many of these fucks by now help)

^^^But all these ppl try to solve it in different ways/for different reasons that im too lazy to type out individually, u can see it right??

Some see this as an ancient scholarly code thing, some of them think of it like a rlly hard puzzle, and some just rlly want to put the mental effort into knowing/not being left out 😭😭

.

And if anybody happens to see some letter exchanges w/ Lumine or like any written responses, you do not. stop. using. text slang. back to back.

(Like what u put in the ask💀)

And its so miserable for those characters mentioned especially, bc they look like scrambled letters 😭

.

Honestly them seeing u two talk to each other via letters just proves that the letters even mean anything at all to them, bc how did u understand each other, otherwise???!!

.

(No one would ever realize u guys were fucking around unless u told them 💀)

✨️Sorry✨️this✨️isnt✨️that✨️great✨️i✨️just✨️wanted✨️ to✨️ expand✨️ on✨️ what ✨️u ✨️already ✨️had ✨️nothing ✨️new✨️ 🧚🏽‍♀️🧚🏽‍♀️

I felt feral and out of it when i wrote this, i literally dont remember a single word i typed on that bullet list..

SO i still have asks/requests im gonna answer but i will be posting my follower event poll!! CLICK ME :) ♡

Yall get to choose what i write about for some posts :D

(You can be a new follower!)

✨️

BTW

UR SO BIG BRAIN SMART 2ND RANDOM U EVEN THOUGHT ABT TEYVATIAN LETTERS GETTING INCLUDED ADHJSLALASLL

WHAT A GENIUS

I hope my shit writing was somewhat ok of a reply to read to pay u back for that great idea lol

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds

@karmawonders

[obsessedanddepressed]

I love so many things because they're the first- in general, too, but right now I'm thinking of Doctor Who.

I love Rose Tyler because she was not only the first companion but really the first character I saw in Doctor Who. It all started with her. I didn't even know they changed companions like that- for me it was her and the doctor - it was their show.

And of course I love nine because he was the first. I knew about regeneration but I thought I would never really see anyone else as the doctor. I was wrong of course, and poor nine with only one season was left behind and I don't know who my favourite doctor is but 2016 me would kill me when I say it's not him. But he was the first, and that makes him so special.

But there's so many firsts. I love Dalek because it was the first story that had me really worried, the first story that had me crying. I love Bad Wolf / Parting Of The Ways because it was the first time shit really hit the fan and the world was properly in danger and there were so many daleks and it seemed like there was no way to fix it, no way out.

We had daleks after that of course, but you defeat a dalek army once- the second time it's not gonna be as scary. It's never gonna be as scary as the first time you saw an actual dalek army.

And then you have the first regeneration and the first time I had to get used to a new guy playing the doctor. And I did, and three seasons later I realised it's gonna be even harder to say goodbye to this one because I ended up loving ten more than nine and I felt like a traitor.

They can't all be first but 11 is the first I accepted as the doctor within their first episode. If that counts for something.

I didn't get used to 12 so easily but he was my first "current" doctor. I caught up just before season 10. And now there's all kinds of firsts again because I'm so, so fond of season 10 because it was the first one I had to wait for, the first time I watched episodes weekly, as they dropped. Bill was the first companion I met at the same time as everyone else. And I can't even begin to describe my feelings about World Enough And Time. It was the first time I logged onto tumblr because Something Just Happened and had the collectively losing our minds over the latest episode experience. And 12 was the first doctor I had to say goodbye to in real time. The first time I waited for a regeneration episode both dreading it and barely containing my excitement. It was the first time I saw a regeneration scene that wasn't already part of fandom history. I don't know how to put it. It's not the saddest (for me) but it is the one that feels… the realest. Like it's not only a part of this tv show I love but an actual event, intrinsically connected with a certain time in my life.

And 13 is the first I saw announced, of course. The first doctor who was new for everyone. The first doctor where I had to try to guess what they're gonna be like from trailers and promo pics and stuff. The first doctor whose run I saw, from beginning to end, as it aired. And I don't love her seasons all that much, I don't like a lot of things about them, and I had a hard time accepting her as the doctor but there's still this sense of nostalgia about her because look at her. That's the first doctor I saw announced in real time. After the announcement I sat myself on the floor and drew her in that black hoodie we first saw her in, with the previous (9-12) doctors in some sort of bubbles behind her, and I still have that drawing on my door. And I only have one funko pop of the doctor, and it's her. I kept seeing it in stores and i was mad it was the only one they had- only the current doctor. But then they announced her leaving and I caved. And bought it just before The Power Of The Doctor as a sort of goodbye.

And now we have fifteen, and I'm amazed to say that he's a first too, in a way. Because (and i said this before) I didn't have my "oh yeah this is the doctor" light switch moment with 13, i just kinda got used to her. But I did with 15, in Boom. So now he's the first new-for-everyone doctor that i saw in a specific episode and went "Yeah. There it is. That's the doctor. I see it."

And that's just talking about New Who.

Cause then there's the first classic doctor I saw (In a story? 4. In a full season/ their whole era? 3) and the first companion which must be Sarah Jane because of New Who, and because the first classic story I saw was with her and 4. In a way it's also Liz, cause when I started watching classic who for real, I started with season 7, so Liz and 3. But Sarah... It's the same as with Rose. She was the very first.

Now that i think about it. I saw The Sarah Jane Adventures way before i watched any classic who.

Of course i love her so much.

And speaking of spinoffs and extended universe,

I love The Night Of The Doctor because it's the first time I ever saw 8, and I liked him instantly. Instantly. And then I saw the movie, and listened to his big finish stories (the first time I listened to big finish). I have such a soft spot for 8. I read my first doctor who comic because of him (A Matter Of Life And Death). I read it online, back then. Now I have it in my library, along with 30+ other dw comics. And books too. And don't get me Started on the books. I saw In The Blood in a bookstore in 2017. It was the first time I saw a doctor who book. I looked it over, and I read the first couple pages, and it sounded nice so I decided to buy it, but not then, cause I didn't have the money. And I passed that bookstore many times, and every time I looked longingly at that book, and one day I did have the money and looked for it and it was gone. Years later when I was visiting London for the first time, I found it at the who shop, and I did buy it then. I had read other dw books by then, so while it's not the first one I read (that was The Stone Rose) it is, I think, the one I hold dearest. And when I did finally read it, I really liked it, too. So it was worth the wait.

I dunno. It's taken me an hour and a half to write all this but I was sitting in my bed thinking how much of an impact being the first [something] could have. And how many firsts I can find only in my experience with Doctor Who. I had to write it down. It felt important.

Hopefully I can fall asleep now.

[scribefindegil]

Howdy, I think you might be making an ekurei shipper out of me XD I never really thought about them much but I'm really resonating with these posts. Not only that but I'm realizing that its so up my alley because I love love love like, unusual fantasy situations where characters experience intamacy in unconventional ways, something I feel like I don'tfind very often outside of my own and my friends' writing in our own lil corner. Like woah...the romantic potential of possession, being closer to your partner than humanley possible...imagine how humbling it would be to realized you are loved and trusted enough to be invited to share your partner's mind and body as an act of love instead just using that ability against strangers to your own ends...[cries a little] Who even needs that dang guard. Maybe I'm so enraptured with this stuff cause I'm ace, lol

Yeah yeah yeah that's it exactly!! The potential for sff to create types of intimacy that wouldn't be possible in real life is a huge part of its appeal! I've seen people compare Dimple possessing Reigen to Steven Universe fusion and I've compared it to drift compatibility myself and both of these things are very tasty, but for me it hits even harder because for them the intimacy is a choice, not a natural byproduct or an intentional prerequisite. Like, it's one thing for a sff setting to make an unconventional form of intimacy part of its worldbuilding like SU and PacRim do, but it's another thing entirely when it isn't an established part of the worldbuilding but something that the characters figure out on their own!

Like you said, for most of his existence Dimple has used possession as a tactic of violation and control. That's what you do when you're an evil spirit! It represents where he is at the beginning of the series; his view is that relationships are about who has the most power and who has the least, and if you have more you're going to use it to manipulate and subsume anyone less powerful than you. And then he starts changing! And by Season 2 he's using possession as a form of protection, not for himself but for Mob. Even when he possesses people without permission (Shinra and that one bully), he's not doing it to help himself! He does it to Shinra to get him out of danger (and says, notably, that if he let Shinra die then Mob would never trust him again), and he does it to the bully to protect Mob (and he stops when Mob says to!). And then in Mogami Arc we get the first instance of Dimple possessing someone because they explicitly asked him to, where he protects Mob's body while his soul isn't in it. Possession not only as protection but as trust! And you can tell from his reaction that this is something that Dimple has never considered before! And you can tell from how shocked he is during World Domination (manga) when he's able to possess an unconscious Mob that he especially never considered that trust like that could be an ongoing thing!

The point is, by the time Dimple meets Reigen in the middle of a psychic tornado, his concept of what possession can be has already undergone some major changes due to his friendship with Mob. But there's never been anything like what he and Reigen are able to do. There's been trust, there's been protection, but there's only ever been one consciousness in a body at a time. There's been vulnerability of body but not vulnerability of mind.

And it would have been easy for Dimple to push Reigen's consciousness down until they got to Shigeo. That's another thing that gets me; there's no reason that they had to both be awake on a technical level. But on a thematic level it is Everything to me that they're able to achieve a state that we've never seen before, that I bet if you'd asked them before this happened they both would have said was impossible, that is dependent on complete vulnerability and openness from two characters who will fight tooth and nail to prevent anyone else from seeing who they really are. It's about their shared familial love for their boy and it's about how much they understand each other in that moment.

And, like, I'm also ace, and generally not much of a shipper, and I tend to care a lot about group dynamics and platonic bonds, and I think that part of the appeal of ekurei bodysharing stuff is that even if you write about it in the most romantic way, you have to remember that the first time they did this it happened because of their shared platonic love for their kid so to me it feels just. Infused with all the different types of love and connection that the show is built on. Sometimes when someone focuses on a romantic relationship it gets deified in a way that undersells all the other bonds the character has, but for me at least romantic ekurei only works because of their other connections.

[eleemosynecdoche]

Sanae, for the ask :3

Shoe size?

Miraculously, every pair of shoes she's ever liked has fit her feet, but most of them are tacky anyways.

Would she step in and handle it?

She would step in! She even stands a good chance of handling it, through some miracle!

Favorite music genre?

Anime OP theme songs, video game music, and if she ever encounters nerdcore, there may be some kind of explosion.

Sex/romance/weird gay shit?

*gestures broadly at the oil fire tag* I mean, I've been contributing to this since the early days of a week and a half ago.

I think Sanae hits a very interesting kind of dichotomy where she has a small group of people (besides the SanaKasa oil fire, Biten, Reimu, and probably a couple others) who she'd have a cringey loving and passionate relationship with, and a lot of people who'd bounce right off of her. So in a way, she's one of the characters I can see having sex and romance (broadly speaking) line up pretty well.

Finally, I am choosing violence and attributing all the cursed Sanae/Kogasa material to Tsukasa having occasional fantasies about a sadistic Sanae, and them retroactively editing our reality.

General thoughts?

One of the really interesting structural aspects of Touhou is that the "3P" characters, Sakuya, Youmu, and Sanae, have one big trait in common: they're naive/ignorant about the world/situation. This is easily interpretable as them being dumb (Youmu) or weird (Sakuya) but I think it's a structural function of them being aware of being minions of some greater power and submitting to it, where Reimu struggles with Yukari and Marisa has been pretty independent.

Sanae is thus in a kind of willful denial about her moms. She knows on some level that Kanako's scheming isn't unstained and innocent, or Tsukasa wouldn't have been able to work on her in that Unconnected Marketeers ending. But she clearly isn't admitting it consciously, or is only starting to do so now. Her ignorance is both willful and feigned, because once she opens that door, what will happen then? (SanaKasa also offers a way for her to feel confident in opening that door someday, even if her confidence may be a bit misplaced...)

So Sanae's a big autistic nerd girl who doesn't have the sophistication of anyone else in Gensokyo bar Kosuzu, but I think part of that is a deliberate defensive strategy, of playing wide-eyed innocent to avoid the unpleasant side of Gensokyo. And obviously, she's a

relatable character

because there sure are some autistic girlthings appreciative of cringe anime and long-archaic pop culture in the Touhou fandom. (I'm only debatably a girlthing, though.)

Capping this off is that she's astoundingly powerful and capable, as her good ending in Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom points out, and that's not unrelated to the previous stuff at all. On some level, she doesn't agree to submit to the world, and this makes her able to affect it harder and bigger. Autism can not only pull you some foxy bitches, it can help you break through some real bullshit sometimes.

So you can use Sanae for some pretty dark stuff, or some medium-dark stuff with a lighthearted premise like Sanae-san's On The Run!, but overall, I think her situation is pretty good. Her moms care for her in their way, are very proud of her, she's gaining confidence. Someday, maybe she'll soar.

[cursedvibes]

May I ask why Episode 3 ( I’m assuming season 2 ) is your favorite?

Yep, it's episode 3 of season 2. Don't think I have a favourite episode in season 1, I never fully watched it. Maybe episode 11 because we get a lot of MahiKen moments?

Anyway, S2 ep 3 is great. For one, it feels very rounded and self-contained. Love when episodes have a real story arc and aren't just a chain of action that's a fraction of the bigger action spaced out over multiple episodes. Episode 3 starts mellow and ends on an emotional high. There are also no parts I'm indifferent about. A lot of episodes have parts I kinda just sit through. Neither hate nor like it, just waiting for something more interesting to happen. Like episode 21 for example, I don't care about Todo's Takada hallucination. It gave me a lot to look at, but I was essentially just waiting for the real fight to continue. That's why it's not quite my favourite episode.

Most important reason why episode 3 stuck with me: I love the additions they made to flesh out Riko's character and make her death hit harder. They really made me care about her as a person, not just her connection to Tengen. The water symbolism they used is fantastic, a great idea. Her life as a coral riff and Tengen's presence turning the beautiful shallow water into a deep pit and suffocating her. Never get tired of looking at those scenes. The soundtrack and piano in the background make it perfect. We also see more of Riko when she's carefree and being herself, so you get an impression of what a life she could've lived if she survived and somehow escaped Tengen. The episode is essentially dedicated to her. Sure you have Toji and Gojo fighting or whatever, but it's really about her. We also get our first look at the Tomb of Stars and it looks beautiful and eery. The lit but empty houses around the tree always give me chills. Again the soundtrack is perfect for this and gives you a real feeling of awe and like you're entering a different world or a snippet of the past (reminded me of some Naruto soundtracks in a good way). If anyone knows what that track is called, I'd be forever grateful. It is also the episode where they used the OP/ED the most effectively in the anime (not just this season) with it giving us the false hope of Riko surviving only to cut out when she dies. Lots of fantastic stuff in that episode that comes together really well.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I am so sorry this has happened to you 🫂 🫂🫂🫂 life is so hard in general rn but for people to deliberately trash a place on top of stealing and violating your space and sense of safety is evil. People are rooting for you, hun, and you're in their thoughts. 🫂🫂🫂🫂

Thanks! I actually REALLY needed that. Not getting to even talk about it to people I know in the real world makes it so much harder.

Today I desperately wanted to tell Mom about it when I called her, but as I was carefully (so as to not make her as upset as me) telling her, a nurse showed up. (She is having some new medical problem). The nurses and aides never even let her say goodbye, so not only did I not get to finish, I didn’t even get the usual “I love you” that I wanted so badly.**

I just wish there was something I could do! I found a padlock and put it on the tin building. A little late, but it they can’t just hit it again. I can’t lock the shop, barn, or coffin room because of the way they are constructed. I can’t secure things to stop thieves from just walking right in.

While I can’t put in a fence, I did dig out the wide gates we had back when we did put a fence up (to keep roaming dogs from killing our cats after a slaughter). It’s almost hilarious to have this gate there. On one side there is nothing to fasten it to, so it’s propped on the A-frame and dead car on one side and the other door of the gate it against a bit of old fence that’s only waist high. And both gates had the bottom beam break when I tried to get them free of decades of vines, so they are sort of wobbly looking. BUT they will serve as a tiny psychological barrier and, better maybe, if they try to go through or around they are likely to make a lot more noise. Maybe this time my dogs will be startled into making a fuss! ***

It’s not enough. I don’t know what would be enough. I get attached to things, especially things that were always there like a fiberglass mold I played in as a child or that clock that sat on the mantle. ****

Like, there has been a row of rocks atop one of the industrial fans. Pop put those “interesting” rocks there as he found them, over twenty years ago, and when I found them knocked off I got really upset and was desperately trying to find them in the grass so I could put them exactly like they were before.

Heck, some of the tools even had a name, like “Hugh” the bush ax. We never said “Get the bush ax”, we’d say “Get Hugh”.

I keep finding more things that were taken or wrecked. It’s draining for me, each time being hit by pain. Today I needed a hammer to do a little repair on Ryoga’s and, damn it, the hammer had been stolen. I’m probably going to be running into stuff for a long time, especially since I didn’t know where everything was to begin with.

**sigh**

I get stealing money or things of value, but with these it seems so random! The stole a “No smoking” sign! They stole a hoe but not the two foot long wrench or post hole digger beside it. They stole the handle for a small socket wrench out of the box but left all the fittings for it. They took a box with a drill and a vice grip, but left them on the ground. They didn’t take that clock I mentioned but smashed the glass and threw it in the bushes where it filled with rain water. They found a box of grandma’s jewelry(I didn’t realize it was out there*****), but while they likely stole something off the top, they didn’t even move anything below or just take the whole box.

I swear, I will always prefer venomous snakes to humans. At least I would always understand why a snake is biting me AND how to avoid it happening again! With people like this….

**Since today I spent the morning cleaning out Ryoga’s place, it may be so awful the call ended up short. My lungs feel like they are full of glue (despite the respirator I had on) and one of my eyes (despite the goggles) had a big ol’ glob of dust hurting it. Reading would have been a bit rough! Yesterday we finished Thief of Time , and today we were going to start Pyramids in out random Pratchett marathon. I’d hate to struggle through the beginning with all it’s new characters…

***Pest barks every time a leaf falls. If he’s awake he barks constantly. Since they had to walk by the dogs, most likely several times, hauling their stealings, I have to assume he was asleep. He does sleep damn soundly, maybe exhausted from always barking! LOL

****The fact I was the one that moved so much of this stuff out there after the floor collapsed in the house makes it worse. I had to put it somewhere, and honestly it all seemed safer there than the house in town. I never thought anyone would risk going out there. Heck, since that bookcase fell over I haven’t gone far into the tin building because it isn’t safe. Is it terrible I wish the other bookcase had fallen on these folks??

***** I’m not as upset about the jewelry as you would expect. No one in my family ever had much in the way gold or jewels. And absolutely not diamonds! Our jewelry may have a LOT of sentimental value, but others would call it “junk”. I know whatever they took wasn’t worth much money, and since I hadn’t really seen this stuff, it didn’t have the personal connection to me that things like Hugh had.

[thestobingirlie]

Oh, I've read a brilliant steddie fic recently (it's a wip) where Eddie travels back in time and has to convince the gang (who really think that he just found out somehow and that it's a bad joke) that the end of the world is here again. It's sooo fun and it has brilliant characterisation of everyone (they are all annoying assholes, which they ARE, none of the characters are sweet and nice, people forget that)!

And I thought, how cool would it have been if season 4 had this concept. Where a character (Eddie) just appears to know everything and tries to warn everyone. And we, the viewers, don't know Eddie, but the characters DO, and he has a reputation, so there is this Joyce element (believe the drug dealing nerd or not) which was by the way one of the most interesting elements of season 1, and I'm just saying if the Duffers like to rely on the tropes that were successfull previously they could,,, you know, reuse something creatively! And Quinn IS harismatic enough to pull that instant likability but also wackiness off!! That way we can have less deaths, but because there are less deaths and we are warned who might die, the deaths that do happen will hit harder (say they'll safe Chrissy but not Fred).

And at the end they could have Eddie be unknowingly under Vecna spell and he gets to control him and it looks like a betrayal but no one knows what to believe (say Chrissy, Max and Stobin (heartwarming to have Steve be firm on something) think that he is under mind control, and Nancy, Lucas, Dustin (heartbreaking) and Erica that he betrayed them). So there is a cliffhanger, too!

Also the devide lets Steve and Nancy have a conflict that is about them but not about them getting back together, or even romantic feelings! And they need that conflict, these characters have been the verge of a massive falling out for ages. To hear Steve fight back against Nancy's authoritive tendencies will truly signify that he has moved on. Same goes for Max and Lucas fighting about real things (but to contrast staancy it is clear that they are actually in love).

I hate how boring and repetetive ST is. And they have enough money and recognition to do literally whatever. Ugh!

oh my god, that is such a cool idea!!! i love time travel, and i love outsider povs of time travel. and s4 definitely showed just how good quinn is at captivating the audience with very little time!!

and i love the idea of this inevitably of death, that no matter how hard our characters try, they can’t save everyone. both making their guilt better and worse.

and yes! i’d love some tension between steve and nancy that isn’t driven by attraction, but their personalities, the aspects of their relationship that drove them apart. i loved the boys verses girls in s3, and i think it’d fun to see the whole group kinda split down the middle like that. most of the characters just go along with stuff when it comes to the battles, and i think it’d be cool to see the group really struggle to know what to do.

yes!! the best part about s1 is stranger things was how it subverted tropes, but it’s just become so predictable, it’d be so fun to see a season that isn’t their usual style.

[soul-dwelling]

Enough pessimism for now. It's time to ask a positive question: What did you / are the things you did enjoy about Fire Force?

I would like to re-read the series to give a better point of view. But I don't want to put in that time right now, so, a lot of what I liked would have been pre-anime announcement.

So, LOL, I'm still going to be negative in some spots here:

The characters seemed to have enough personality.

I still think it's sexist to reduce Tamaki to just "fanservice bad luck person" (when it'd be funnier if she just had bad luck, period, no need to keep making it fanservice, just have things go wrong for her all the time). There is so much potential for her, and she deserves better.

And while there is a bit more complexity later with Maki, I think the "she misinterprets remarks to think it's insulting her appearance" gets stale.

That being said, Maki kicking ass was always good. Hell, before the anime announcement, there was variety in the types of girls and women in the series in terms of personalities, alliances, skills, body types--it's just that some got hit harder than others with dumb fanservice gags (Tamaki, Maki, Iris, Hibana). I wish more was done with Maki's mom, just given what back story we get for her later--but this is so annoying, to talk up what she used to do before she retired, instead of seeing her cut loose in a fight.

Hibana was a compelling antagonist...before she's reduced to lusting after teenage Shinra.

I think the artwork was fine. I was more excited by it before finding out how this all tied into Soul Eater, which makes differences in the art more understandable--but now also kind of saps enjoyment from them. (There is something about Ohkubo, right around the end of Soul Eater, during NOT, and during the beginning of Fire Force where character designs, especially in the faces, feel less unique, so flat, not as memorable as earlier artwork and especially compared to the 2008 anime). The character designs feel kind of same-y until Vulcan, Lisa, and Yu have a larger role, then it feels like that trio has so much more variety. (I miss Lisa's longer hair, though.)

The buildings and steampunk aesthetic were good.

Some fire demon designs were good, before leaning more into the doppel idea and then it kind of gets repetitive.

Some gags were really good; I still love Arthur shouting, "Call the fire department!" before Tamaki shouts back, "We are the fire department!" I wish more outlandish stuff was done with Takehisa's fashion disasters. Akitaru working out all the time made this cartoony and fun, as was Juggernaut just somehow surviving because thick clothing (...but then Akitaru and Juggernaut's gags, as well as what happens to Juggernaut in the Nether, is hampered when your entire series is acting like everything is not cartoony until Shinra does what he does in the finale, but whatever). The calendar arc should have worked as equal opportunity fanservice, so I appreciate the attempt, even as I hate putting in underage characters, and characters who were coerced against their will (Juggernaut).

The mystery of this post-apocalyptic world that has our same continents was engaging...until the real of a 3D world, which makes no sense even within the story, and is hard to represent when you are dealing with 2D artwork already. I wish more was done to engage with the pre-history of this world, to show more of which remnants remained, which history was forgotten or misremembered. We get Vulcan looking back at earlier species, but what about other history?

I like Benimaru and Konro--although the nationalistic bent bothers me, especially when we see the "New World" going to Japanese naming conventions again. This feels like it wants to be some political message ("Now the US can see the world through the perspective of Japan, and look what we do to Nevada!"), but it gets muddled.

I really enjoyed Joker before the doppel fight. I don't like the back story, but I understand the setup, especially when it comes to abuses by religious organizations against children. I enjoyed seeing his philosophy unfold, how he is cynical but determined in his goal. He is literally Batman but with the Joker's name and aesthetic. Don't have him run off with Burns, have him stay as this vigilante weirdo, that's more entertaining.

[the-firebird69]

We're going to handle in this guy if no this guy Dave is out of control.

We heard a statement earlier and it doesn't make any sense and his people don't like it and started looking at the legislature that he's representing because he's trying to defend it and it started saying we have to force our way into the DMV we're getting removed from and we can't do that right now we don't need the extra pressure we are already getting forced out here and you want to make it harder for us to get a license and harder for us to get around and it's already impossible so and Trump is doing it too and bja driving around like assholes for what Dave AKA Dan said and they're going to trace him down and they're going to go after him and they're going to take his stuff and there's a whole bunch of trumpsters who's going to do it including his brothers and sons and clones they said what could you you just sitting there missing everything up everyday doesn't seem to be helping us cuz you're not smart and they said it out loud and they're saying it over and over to him and they're taking the stuff all over town and all over Charlotte county and Florida and all over the world they're taking their houses and more he did he lost his house yeah his kids are taking it that's who the girls are and it shows up and they take him down the street to these houses and hold him there and say that that house is ours you're going to stay here or nowhere and it's called all of the kids and he's all pissed off so he does some dumb song and he's threatening social security and the girls are saying we have your money and stuff then they said we sort of get this and he's getting pushed around by everybody and will probably cut a check and it's going to wreck a bunch of people and he's trying to do it today and just does not working and there's more

-because of what Dave AKA Dan did his people are looking at his legislation and it doesn't make any sense so they're going after him thinking he has the AI cuz everything is backwards same with Trump and Terry cheesman The angry birds and you're cutting us off worse and they don't think you're working for them and they're not giving you a break and they're going after your stuff because you're being so mean to everybody and you're exposing them and your s*** is not working and it's ruining us and they keep saying it and they keep saying we don't need you anymore we have robots so you have this idea to do these flag lawn mowers and Trump is the guy with that little airplane thing and he's the one with the real small one too and he said he thought it was stupid and says he had to do it for a reason and he still knows the reason and he said that he's going to do it and stuff like that cuz he wants to tell them who's boss and things and it's going to be very bad for Trump and pretty soon.

He says he has robot factories and can make those things real quick out of lawn mowers and they'll think that their own their own people because he's going to harm people he says

-here's our goals he's trying to threaten us too I tell you what he's a moron it's it's stuff used for spying and a large scale and the guys go around blabbing about it and other people are getting hit by it and they're going after him after today that guy is going to be toast as we think it'll happen today at burning Man in those people there four and a half million not too many even enough it's going to go down too that they do see there's something down there and they start to test the Mojave and we think it's tomorrow.

-there's a few things going on here that are not really correct my son is having trouble he's getting tired but really people are keeping him up at night and mostly this idiot next door waking him up and he goes by him no matter where he is and he's just sitting there salty him and intimidating and harassing and we're putting a lawsuit in for him and a real one it's going to name our son and the idiot next door because he's getting all uppity and wants to tell on him we're going to make sure it doesn't go the other way I'm putting it in Monday and it's a lawyer for him and he doesn't have connection to but that's going to happen. We're sick of having we're sick of this stupid s*** and he's got to go away or he's going to go to jail or prison and we're going to write it up and it will be for a harassment stalking and we have private eyes and we will purchase information from other Private eyes and they will give a professional testimony it's going to be awful for him he's going to try and counter and see he's going to fisherman's village and he has some pictures of our son there LOL and it means something okay I'll send a son is getting taken pictures of too and we have pictures of him taking pictures of him this is perfect but he's not getting it he's a right to go there and you don't own the place I was taking away and will bring that history up and you're forcing your way there and we have statements from the owner of the curator and he might be willing to testify and he says he will I want to sick of you that's coming up Monday.

-other stuff we have this guy in our face we need them out and right now we need him to get the hell out of here it's time to get rid of them and really the fleet that's going to go any day now that would be a battle it'll be over they're going to have this thing over Titan over and over and finally he gets hhmis big ships and it goes up there and he loses after a while and see his own his own people and then he's done no brain and no nothing left she's been as rescued and he is killed in Vietnam. We have a list of reasons why they only need one he works with the assassin.

Thor Freya

Olympus

[galaxythedragonshifter]

TW: Vent; Father issues

He's an alcoholic and addicted to drugs and p*rn, and he's driven drunk several times, gotten several DUIs, and has been to jail several times because of it.

Me and my father have a love hate relationship. I haven't talked to him in two years, and I simultaneously never want to speak to him again, and I want to yell at him for how he's acted my whole life.

He ended up marrying someone (whom I refuse to call my step mother), roughly a year ago I believe. I only met her for three hours, in which she asked several questions about my school and personal life that I did not feel comfortable sharing.

Ever since then, he's been getting worse and worse, more recently stalking us, digging in our garbage, and possibly (meaning almost definitely) breaking into the house to steal things that belong to me. We put up cameras, and we're gonna build and put birdhouses on them to hide them. We're also planning on leaving and going to a hotel for a few days to see if we can catch him and his wife on camera.

It honestly hurts a lot.

When I was little, he was my whole world. I wasn't old enough to know what a dad was supposed to be like, nor did I second guess things. I'd have to fight for any kind of bonding time with him. I'd have to sit down next to him and watch whatever he was watching (It would typically be StarTrek, Stargate, or Mcgyver), or beg him to do what I wanted to do.

I didn't know it wasn't normal to do that. I didn't know Dad's were supposed to be actively trying to bond with their kids. I wasn't old enough to know what happened behind the scenes or who he was.

When my parents divorced when I was 9, I held high hopes. I hoped he would get better. I hoped things would be ok. I held onto false promises.

It got worse and worse as I got older. Broken promises built up over time. When I hit 15 (last year), All of the wife stuff started happening, and now its reaching into now. I was upset and angry, but I still helt a little hope that he would get better.

With the news of the probable breaking and entering, and the fact he'd gotten WAY worse, I lost all hope. I know he'll never change. I know he'll never be the dad I wanted (and needed). Even if he one day apologizes for everything, and changes, it still won't fix the fact that he took having a proper dad away from me.

I want it so badly. I want a dad so badly. But I can't have it. I can't have a real relationship with him. I'm growing up and I never got that. I missed out. I'm constantly bouncing between angry, heartbroken, annoyed, tired, and upset and I have no freaking clue what I'm feeling at a certain time.

I want to never speak to him again, but I also want to tell him what I'm feeling so desperately.

I never want to be around him anymore because I'm angry, but I also want a dad so frickin badly.

But I know that little me will never get the Dad she wanted. And it hurts. It hurts so badly.

It would be easier if I truly hated my father but I don't. I simultaneously hate him for his actions and love him because I want him to be a dad. And it hurts.

It hurts to know the dad you've known your whole life was never a real dad to begin with. It hurts to know that you'll never get that, no matter how much you beg them to change, no matter how much you hope.

It hurts to know that your own father is breaking into your house to steal anything they can get their hands on to win a court battle in the future, resulting in my items getting effected.

It hurts to have to cut someone you simultaneously hate and love off.

It hurts for people to say "You're taking the easy way out" by cutting him off finally. You really think this is easy?! It's not. It's actually harder.

I'm in pain, and I don't know if I'll ever truly heal from it completely, because it's left this gaping hole in my chest that I can't fill.

I'm exhausted, I'm tired, I'm hurting, and I don't know how to fix it.

Of course, I try to use characters and jokes to cope, but it doesn't always work. Sometimes I can talk about it all with no issue and joke about it. Other times, I say two words and I break down sobbing.

[sagau-my-beloved]

Ah this is weirdly specific and ended up really long (sorry about that 😭) but i had a thought

In the sagau venti coming to the real world and living with us, how would he react if at first reader was really affectionate and excited to see him because they like him a lot and want to show him all the stuff in our world but then they slowly get upset and slightly depressed when they realize (or think) Venti's probably only interested in them because they are this so called creator of teyvat? They try to hide that something is wrong but then open up about their feelings when Venti questions them too much?

The Struggle Of Living Up To An Expectation

Finally an angst request >:), also, don't be sorry I absolutely adore descriptive requests like this, also decided to do this in drabble format because hurt/comfort just hits harder that way

Warnings: general Sagau, angst, hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort, I guess a small bit of codependency, some self deprecation

-

You were ecstatic. Shocked, but ecstatic. Maybe questioning your own sanity a bit, but ecstatic.

Venti, the character you loved the most, the character you felt happiest around, the character you constantly wished for more content of, was right in front of you.

It took a second for it to fully register.

You stood there in shock, mouth agape at the green cladded figure in front of you, a nervous smile forming at your deafening silence.

"Your grace? Are you that surprised to see me?" It was spoken both as a joke and a genuine question, you had yet to give any form of reaction other than just staring intently in complete awe, it was really starting to worry him.

"You're Venti, you're in front of me—"

"I am indeed both of those things your grace, what a keen eye you have~" He shifted his weight nervously, desperately wishing for you to give him some sort of positive or negative sign.

That sign did in fact come, rather suddenly at that, in the form of you pulling him into a tight hug and tearing up slightly.

He was in heaven, this was it, the way he wanted to go out.

He felt your arms around him, and it only took a second for him to compensate with his own.

It was better than any reaction he had ever expected, the complete onset of happiness he got from something as simple as a hug really was astounding.

"Your grace, I'm so happy you recognize me! I was so worried you would be afraid of seeing me here."

You immediately push him back, arms on his shoulders as you gave him a wide smile, completely filled with enthusiasm.

"How could I ever be afraid of you? I can't believe this is happening, you have no idea how long I've admired you!" your eyes shined as you spoke, he couldn't help but look at you in complete awe.

You? Admired him???

Ok, he had to be dead, something went wrong with the portal and now he's in the afterlife, in a place which his creator loved him even a fraction of the amount he loved you.

Venti laughed, a genuine smile dawning on his features as he immediately pulled you into another hug.

That all happened about a month ago, Venti explained that you were his God, a being above even the Archons. This knowledge struck a certain chord that you couldn't quite place at the time and decided to brush off.

Of course you didn't believe him then, it was hard to say you really believed him even now, but he was always so genuine about it, he believed it as much as he believed in his own existence.

Venti had wanted you to go back to Teyvat with him, and you really did want to, but as of right now it was completely out of the question. Running away from your current life wasn't an option, you would worry too many people.

He was a bit reluctant to accept your answer, instead postponing the inevitable day that you would return with him.

You offered him your house freely, as long as he wanted to stay you would be happy to host.

The time spent with him was never unpleasant, you did have to occasionally remind yourself that he was real, he was there next to you.

His enthusiasm towards you only help enhance your own enthusiasm, it was almost as if your energies bounced off of each other.

You loved explaining things about how your world worked too, there was no feeling in the world that could match watching his expression of wonder, the way his eyes sparkled.

But the constant use of titles did start to wear on you, it was almost as if he could never directly address you without using some sort of formal name. It didn't help that every time he did you felt a sense of uneasiness, one that took quite a while to place exactly why you were feeling it.

It dawned on you one day when you were lying in your bed with him. He was half asleep and rested his head on your lap, occasionally choosing to just open his eyes and stare at you in wonder, as he had been frequently doing ever since he arrived.

You took the opportunity to freely play with his hair, you liked how soft it was.

"You're so amazing you know, so divine. I love you more than the world itself."

You couldn't tell if it was just the delirium from his sleepy state that caused him to speak like that, but it didn't really matter, that was when you realized what was truly wrong.

He thought of you as something that you weren't, he loved you for something that you never did.

That event spiralled, it stayed lurking in the back of your mind, brought to the foreground every time he said any sort of praise in your direction. Which was rather often.

He loved you because he thought you a God, the God above all other Gods, the creator, when you were really just a normal human.

Would he have ever loved you at all if he knew that? Did this count as a form of leading him on? Would he no longer like you when he finally figured it out for himself...

Thoughts like that kept you up at night, tossing and turning before simply getting up and choosing to sleep on the couch, away from that suffocating room, away from this role you felt had been forced on you.

Venti picked up on your misery, he could tell something was off before you even realized it yourself.

He tried to help without directly asking what the problem was, tried to be more affectionate than usual, shower you in more praise, completely oblivious that this was only worsening the problem.

You became more withdrawn, more dismissive, less likely to believe anything he said that even remotely resembled something positive towards you.

Venti finally had enough when you managed to evade him for an entire day, it was heartbreaking to watch, he blamed himself for it completely. It must have been something he did wrong and he couldn't stand being in the dark any longer.

You were sitting on the couch as he stood in front of you, you tried very hard to look anywhere but him as he stared directly at you.

"My love... Why have you been avoiding me?" his voice was soft, but it lacked the usual free spirited and childish demeanor it always held, he sounded way more serious.

"Have I been avoiding you?" You didn't want to lie to him, of course you had been avoiding him, but you didn't want to admit it, to acknowledge it in any way.

"Please, don't brush this off."

It was uncharacteristic to see him acting like this, it worried you, made you feel worse about how you had been acting.

"It's really not anything you need to be concerned about, just personal stuff."

He almost scoffed at that, "You're hurting, something has been troubling you, it's killing me to watch."

You wanted to respond with a snide remark, something stupid and cliche like 'then stop watching', but that wasn't fair to him, he hadn't knowingly done anything wrong.

You were cracking under his stare too, feeling the intensity of it without even looking at him.

Was he angry with you?

It was all too much, this confrontation, all the thoughts you had been harboring for the past few weeks which only seemed to grow with each passing day.

You were overwhelmed, this was overwhelming, and you couldn't help it when tears started pricking at the corners of your eyes, you couldn't stop them from flowing down your face as you stifled a sob.

Venti's face contorted into a panic, panic and concern, all traces of the serious expression gone.

"Hey, my love, please, please tell me what's wrong."

He chose to sit next to you on the couch, trying to take your hand in his own.

The action only caused you to cry harder, trying your best to turn your body away from him so he wouldn't see you in such a pathetic state.

His eyebrows furrowed at that and he quickly moved his hands to the back of your head and your shoulder, pulling you into him.

You didn't resist, instead taking the opportunity to bury your face in his shirt as you continued to cry.

You wanted so badly to stop, to just compose yourself, there was no way you could live up to his expectations of a God in this state. But the harder you tried, the more repressed thoughts kept flooding your head.

He continued to just hold you, occasionally brushing his hands through your hair, his expression not losing any of the concern it previously held.

You finally started to calm down slightly, your sobs reduced to only sniffles.

"Do you feel any better my love? I really don't want to push you, but keeping this inside you is obviously doing nothing but harm."

You let out a soft nod after you pulled away, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"I... I'm not a God."

That's all this was about?

He waited for you to continue before making any remarks.

"You think I'm a God, and you love me because you think I'm a God, but I'm not a God, I'm just human."

He almost felt his heart break, did you really think he wouldn't simply adore you if you weren't his creator?

He waited a minute longer, allowing you the opportunity to expand upon what you said, it was only after you continued looking away from him that he decided to speak.

"I fully believe that you are the creator, I came here because of that."

You could feel your heart sink at his words, practically on the verge of tears again.

"But," he continued, "If I was proven wrong right this very second, absolutely nothing would change."

Venti moved his hand to your face, cupping it, trying to provide some sense of comfort through touch.

"I love you so much, I adore the person you are. I don't think I could live without you at this point, I would still want you to come with me, or to allow me to stay here with you."

You glanced at him for a second, seeing his green eyes filled with overflowing amounts of sincerity, a soft smile adorned his features.

"I feel almost as if I'm tricking you somehow, I can't stand the idea of disappointing you when you find out I'm not anything special." Honesty leaked from your words, it was a harsh truth that you thoroughly believe would come to pass.

Venti's face completely fell at that.

"Not special? Everything in the world is special, and you are one of the most special things in the world. You could never disappoint me by being yourself, please believe that."

He wanted to tell you that he loved you a million times over, sing it from the rooftops, repeat it over and over until you were forced to believe him.

"I came here for the creator of Teyvat, and found something so much better, you are better than I could have ever imagined."

You were starting to feel a bit flustered at his word, choosing to hide it by hugging him close again and covering your face. He gladly accepted it, resting his head on top of yours, he loved the way you felt against him, how much your bodies seemed to fit together perfectly.

It didn't matter if you were the creator or otherwise, he was made just for you, and you were never going to be able to get rid of him.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything..."

He didn't feel as though he could melt at your words any more than he already had, but here he was, practically a puddle at how vulnerable you sounded.

Whether you liked it or not, he was now eternally bound to you, nothing else could even come close to changing that.

He would be happy to remind you as many times as you needed.

[chifuyusfingers]

Dad! JJK boys reaction to your baby kicking for the first time.

Gojo

Letting out a cry of pain from the weird feeling, you woke up from your sleep, sitting up heavily breathing, you clutched your arms around your pregnant belly softly not to hurt the baby. Hugging it and cooling down your breathing, trying to comprehend what has just happened.

Many paranoic thoughts filling your mind. Is something wrong? Did something happen to the baby? Thinking about the worst scenarios, another one of those weird tumbling motions occurred in your swollen belly. Bending down to place your ear on the top of your belly of 5 months, you caressed it, trying to feel the twitches again.

Looking to the side, you placed your hands on your sleeping husband gojo, gently shaking him to wake him up.

His sleepy eyes slowly opening, trying to get used to the darkness in the room. Mhm, what is it, baby? Did something happen? Why did you wake me up for?“ hardly understandable mumbles left his mouth as he laid in his place, not moving a bit, still not woken up.

"Toru, I think that… the baby just kicked.“ swiftly sitting up after those words came out of your mouth, his widened eyes in shock. "Really? Did the baby kick? Oh my-"

Gojo did the same thing as you did, laying his head on your belly, his hands wrapping around your bottom, trying to feel anything. And as the baby kicked again, your belly moving softly under his head.

Gojo almost jumped out of his place in amazement as he felt that. "Oh holy Y/N, that was- -your belly just moved, I felt it. Oh my God your baby just moved.“

Tugging up your top to expose your baby bump, he planted kisses on it, still astonished from the new feeling of a baby moving inside your body. "My baby? It’s your baby too, it’s our baby and it moved, Toru.“

You both giggled at the new feeling, it all felt so real, now that you could really feel your baby. "Come on, let’s get back to sleep, you have to rest.“

Going back to sleep, he spooned you from behind, his arm embracing you close to him, caressing your baby bump until you fell asleep again.

Yuji

"Y/N do you know where is the bottle of the vinegar?“ Yuji shouted for you to hear, rummaging all over the kitchen, trying to find the liquid he was looking for.

You were laying on the couch, resting with a book in your hands, since any excessive movement made your pregnant body tired.

One eye on the pages of the book, the second one looking out for your husband Yuji who was cooking you two a meal, making sure he didn’t hurt himself or mess something up.

Even though Yuji was a good cook, he was a bit clumsy so occasional cuts on his fingers weren’t that occasional. Suddenly a dull pain hit your belly, causing you to cry in pain, wrapping your arms around your swollen belly.

As Yuji heard your painful whimpers, he dropped the knife he was holding, cutting his finger slightly, but that wasn’t what he cared for, immediately running over to you.

"Y/N Are you okay? What’s going on? Is there something wrong?“ kneeling in front of you, letting his hands fall onto your knees. Your head lowered down, trying to overcome the pain that hit your ribs and abdomen.

" I don’t- don’t know, it just suddenly started to hurt so much.“ his worried expression turned into a soft one in a blink of an eye. " Isn’t it… our baby kicking?“

Getting the pieces of information that flowed through your brain together, you realised that Yuji might have a point.

"Aww Y/N, I’m so sorry for what our baby is putting through, come on lay down, I’m gonna bandage my finger, and I’ll give you a massage, maybe it’ll relieve stress, what do you think?“ nodding you laid down, still not over the pain your baby just gave you.

Yuji ran back to the kitchen for a second, rummaging over the boxes of medicaments and this type of stuff, trying to find a plaster to wrap his finger in before going back to you and sitting on the couch. He laid your head on his lap, his hands massaging your stiff shoulders in circular motions while singing to you, trying to help you relax.

Megumi

The weekend always meant Megumi well-deserved rest. Usually, the two of you spent a weekend together in bed, lazily cuddling and watching series you abandoned throughout the week. Today was not any different.

Laying in the bed under piles of comforter, you nuzzled your back into Megumi’s chest, letting out small mewls at how comfortable his presence was. Ever since you got pregnant, Megumi treated you like the most fragile crystal vase in this world.

His arm wrapped around your baby bump protectively, the other arm laid under your head. Watching the characters move on the screen of your notebook, your attention fully captivated.

You were on the edge, almost not breathing from the unexpected plot twist, when your swollen belly twitched lightly. Frowning your eyebrows at the weird feeling, it was as if butterflies were flying in your stomach.

But the nervous twitches did not stop, yet, they only intensified. You remembered an article you read a month ago, about how to distinguish when a baby kicks or moves. Concentrating more on the feeling, it was the same as described in the article.

Turning around to look at Megumi, his eyes closed as he was probably napping. Shaking his shoulders to wake him up, he opened his sleepy eyes. " Megumi“ humming tiredly, he tried hard not to knock out, but listen to what you had to say.

" I think our baby moved“ His no longer sleepy eyes opened widely, looking at you with excitement. "Really? How does it feel? Oh I can’t even imagine it, let me touch.“

His loosened grip around your belly now tightened, his hand roaming all over your belly, trying to feel anything. "But I don’t feel anything Y/N.“ he looked at you sadly, for not being able to feel his child kick.

"It’s because the baby stopped moving, Megumi I’ll tell you the next time it moves.“ He nodded dejectedly and laid back down, holding you close to him as you two resumed the series while waiting patiently for your baby to move.

Nanami

"That’s him, that’s the guy. The guy with the black hat is the killer!“ shouted gojo as the aforementioned character of the movie you were watching appeared on the screen.

" I swear try to do this once again and you’ll be the one left out when we have the next movie night.“

Switching between the channels you turned the TV off and decided to rather talk together since nothing watchable was on. You listened to the men who was talking about his next week’s schedule.

Laughing at some of the sarcastic remarks your husband Nanami made, you comfortably positioned yourself on Nanami’s laps, his strong arms keeping you close and wrapping around your baby bump protectively.

It was as if your baby reacted to the feeling of his dad’s hands when you felt some weird twitches and tumbles. Shrugging your eyebrows at the weird feelings you supposed was the baby kicking, you lightly bent forward, your fingers circling over your bump, occasionally poking it to get another reaction from the baby.

"Is something wrong, Y/N?“ queried your husband Nanami, catching the attention of gojo, who stopped in his convo, instead diverting his attention to you.

"-I think our baby moved…“ as soon as the words left your mouth, gojo jumped out from his seat, coming over to you and immediately placing his hands on your belly out of curiosity, leaving you and Nanami speechless as the men tried to feel your baby moving.

"Get your hands off my wife’s bump, you’re irrelevant right now. Her dad should be the first one to feel her kick, her uncle is further in the line. Make your own child.“

Getou

Having to deal with pregnancy was hard, but having to deal with pregnancy when your partner couldn’t be present all the time, was even harder.

When you got pregnant Getou made sure to be there for you as much as he could.

Coming out of your shared bedroom, you yawned, still not completely woken up from your night sleep. Picking some milk out of the fridge to cook oats in, you made yourself oatmeal with fruit and a cup of coffee to eat for breakfast.

Digging your spoon into the bowl, you couldn’t get yourself to have a bite. Your stomach feeling somehow heavy. It wasn’t like the morning nausea you had in the first trimester, it was just a bad feeling as if someone was squeezing your stomach.

You at least drank the coffee as you sat down on the couch in your living room, turning the TV on to listen to watch some news. You caressed your baby bump out of a habit, it was almost like a routine, every morning when you and Getou watched the news, he’d always caress your belly.

Sipping on your coffee, you felt a sharp kick to your ribs and stomach, spilling the coffee all over your clothes. You shrugged your eyebrows, mouth wide opened as you tried to hold back your tears from the sharp and tingling pain.

"I’ve been carrying you for over 5 months and this is how you repay me with your first kick?“ Saying playfully to your baby even though you knew it can’t hear you, you couldn’t help but smile at the precious feeling of your baby kicking even though it was painful.

'I should probably say this to Getou, he’d be happy to know that our baby kicks’ you said to yourself as you picked your phone and dialled his phone number, hoping that he’d be able to pick up.

"Good morning love.“ you subconsciously smiled at his sweet voice as he called you the pet name he often used.

"Getou, our prince kicked me. It hurts like hell, he’s a strong boy, he must be taking after his daddy.“ you could feel the regret in his voice at not being able to be there when your baby kicked for the first time.

"Really?I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be there when he kicked for the first time, wait for me I’m home soon“

Toji

Chopping some pepper bells, onions and tomatoes, you put the aforementioned vegetables into a pot, pouring a bit of oil and letting it roast on a low heat as you poured some vegetable broth onto it afterwards.

Looking up to see your partner Toji enter the kitchen with no t-shirt, his sweatpants long hanging as he rubbed his sleepy eyes, from having to wake up after coming home late.

"Good morning. “ He smiled at you beamingly, brushing his hair with his fingers and pouring himself a glass of water. "Good morning, babe. I’m so tired, my muscles stiffened as I slept, I must be getting old.“

Laughing playfully at his remark you resumed your previous activity of cooking, pouring some seasoning into the pot.

The sleepy figure of your partner Toji, disappeared from your sight as he got behind you, his long limbs wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, whining out of the comfort.

"Toji we can cuddle later, I have to finish cooking, okay?“ He groaned in disagreement not moving a bit as his grip tightened around your '5-month old’ baby bump, running his fingers over the material of your top.

You were so engaged in cutting tofu, that you didn’t pay any attention to the feelings in your lower belly. Sensing some tingling, you brushed it off, thinking it was only Toji's fingertips trying to tingle you to make you stop doing your actions.

"What was it?“ Letting out a quiet 'what do you mean’ you continued not taking your eyes off the cutting board. "Your belly moved.“ Turning over to look at him, you raised your eyebrows, not getting any of his words. "It didn’t move.“

"It did Y/N, I felt it.“ Letting out a small chuckle you turned back. "Toji, I’m not going to stop and cuddle you, this attempt to make me stop is hopeless.“ as you cut the food, you suddenly felt a movement in your lower stomach.

"Wait, what, it really moved. Woah, it must be our little girl.“ tears fell down your cheeks at the new feeling, happiness overflowing your veins. "See? I wasn’t lying!“

Inumaki

"What can I get for you?“ asked the young waiter dressed in a uniform with the logo of the café you were in.

"She’s pregnant and she shouldn’t drink much caffeine, so one strawberry and one watermelon lemonade.“ ordered your husband Inumaki, before you could even open your mouth to say something.

Turning to face his caring and lovely smile, you pouted at him, for not giving you a chance to order something yourself.

"You know I can order for myself? And I didn’t have any caffeine in a week, so I could at least have an iced latte.“ He shrugged his shoulders, as he gazed around the café.

"It’s not about the caffeine right now. Do you remember? We had our first date here and drank the same thing, I just wanted to recall the memories.“ You smiled as you replayed those reminiscences in your mind.

"Who would’ve thought that a bundle of joy will come out of the single date, I can’t express how happy I am. I still remember that day, I was so nervous and embarrassed myself so many times that I thought you would’ve never wanted to go out with me again, yet you did.“ you smiled at his remarks, thinking about how he almost tripped on his own foot from how nervous he was.

"I did. And there wasn’t a time when I regretted, going out with you was the best choice of my life.“

As the waiter was approaching you with the lemonades, you felt fluttering movements occur in your lower abdomen. Onum noticed the grimace on your face as you lightly hugged yourself, but waited until the waiter left.

"Is something wrong Y/N?“ You looked up to meet his worried face. "I don’t know, there is a weird fluttering feeling in my stomach and it’s just… weird.“ You answered as you took a sip of your tasty lemonade, his gaze softening.

"Y/N, it must be our baby, he started kicking, don’t you think?“

______________________________________

Heya earthlings! I hope y'all are doing well~ And I was quite busy these days because of my damn exams, so I wasn't able to answer your requests but now that I'm here, I'd make sure to do it.

[cherryatiny]

𝐃𝐚𝐝! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

𝐺𝐼𝐹𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠

⩥ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

Letting out a cry of pain from the weird feeling, you woke up from your sleep, sitting up heavily breathing, you clutched your arms around your pregnancy belly softly not to hurt the baby. Hugging it and cooling down your breathing, trying to comprehend what has just happened.

Many paranoic thoughts filling your mind. Is something wrong? Did something happen to the baby? Thinking about the worst scenarios, another one of those weird tumbling motions occurred in your swollen belly. Bending down to place your ear on the top of your belly of 5 months, you caressed it, trying to feel the twitches again.

Looking to the side, you placed your hands on your sleeping husband Hongjoong, gently shaking him to wake him up.

His sleepy eyes slowly opening, trying to get used to the darkness in the room. „Mhm, what is it, baby? Did something happen? Why did you wake me up for?“ hardly understandable mumbles left his mouth as he laid in his place, not moving a bit, still not woken up.

„Joongie, I think that... the baby just kicked.“ swiftly sitting up after those words came out of your mouth, his widened eyes in shock. „Really? Did the baby kick? Oh my-“

Hongjoong did the same thing as you did, laying his head on your belly, his hands wrapping around your bottom, trying to feel anything. And as the baby kicked again, your belly moving softly under his head.

Hongjoong almost jumped out of his place in amazement as he felt that. „Oh my Y/N, that was-your belly just moved, I felt it. Oh my God your baby just moved.“

Tugging up your top to expose your baby bump, he planted kisses on it, still astonished from the new feeling of a baby moving inside your body. „My baby? It's your baby too, it's our baby and it moved, Joongie.“

You both giggled cutely at the new feeling, it all felt so real, now that you could really feel your baby. „Come on, let's get back to sleep, you have to rest.“

Going back to sleep, he spooned you from behind, his arm embracing you close to him, caressing your baby bump until you fell asleep again.

⩥ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

„Y/N do you know where is the bottle with caraway seeds?“ Seonghwa shouted for you to hear, rummaging all over the kitchen, trying to find the seasoning he was looking for.

You were laying on the couch, resting with a book in your hands, since any excessive movement made your pregnant body tired. One eye on the flavescent pages of the book, the second one looking out for your husband Seonghwa who was cooking you two a meal, making sure he didn't hurt himself or mess something up.

Even though Seonghwa was a great cook, he was a bit clumsy so occasional cuts on his fingers weren't that occasional. Suddenly a dull pain hit your belly, causing you to cry in pain, wrapping your arms around your swollen belly.

As Seonghwa heard your painful whimpers, he dropped the knife he was holding, cutting his finger, but that wasn't what he cared for, immediately running over to you.

„Ah fuck it- Princess! Are you okay? What's happening? Is there something wrong?“ kneeling in front of you, letting his hands fall onto your knees. Your head lowered down, trying to overcome the pain that hit your ribs and abdomen.

„Ah, I don't- don't know, it just suddenly started to hurt so much. As if you hit my ribs with a bat.“ his worried expression turned into a soft one in a blink of an eye. „Isn't it... our baby kicking?“

Getting the pieces of information that flowed through your brain together, you realised that Seonghwa might have a point.

„Aww Y/N, I'm so sorry for what our baby is putting through, come on lay down, I'm gonna bandage my finger, and I'll give you a massage, maybe it'll relieve stress, what do you think?“ nodding you laid down, still not over the pain your baby just gave you.

Seonghwa ran back to the kitchen for a second, rummaging over the boxes of medicaments and this type of stuff, trying to find a plaster to wrap his finger in before going back to you and sitting on the couch. He laid your head on his lap, his hands massaging your stiff shoulders in circular motions while singing to you, trying to help you relax.

⩥ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

The weekend always meant Yunho's well-deserved rest. Usually, the two of you spent a weekend together in bed, lazily cuddling and watching series you abandoned throughout the week. Today was not any different.

Laying in the bed under piles of comforter, you nuzzled your back into Yunho's chest, letting out small mewls at how comfortable his presence was. Ever since you got pregnant, Yunho treated you like the most fragile crystal vase in this world.

His arm wrapped around your baby bump protectively, the other arm laid under your head. Watching the characters move on the screen of your notebook, your attention fully captivated.

You were on the edge, almost not breathing from the unexpected plot twist, when your swollen belly twitched lightly. Frowning your eyebrows at the weird feeling, it was as if butterflies were flying in your stomach.

But the nervous twitches did not stop, yet, they only intensified. You remembered an article you read a month ago, about how to distinguish when a baby kicks or moves. Concentrating more on the feeling, it was the same as described in the article.

Turning around to look at Yunho, his eyes closed as he was probably napping. Shaking his shoulders to wake him up, he opened his sleepy eyes. „Yunho...“ humming tiredly, he tried hard not to knock out, but listen to what you had to say.

„Remember the article? I think our baby moved...“ His no longer sleepy eyes opened widely, looking at you with excitement. „Really? How does it feel? Oh I can't even imagine it, let me touch.“

His loosened grip around your belly now tightened, his hand roaming all over your belly, trying to feel anything. „But I don't feel anything Y/N.“ pouting at you sadly, from not being able to feel his child kick.

„It's because the baby stopped moving, Yuyu. I'll tell you the next time it moves.“ He nodded dejectedly and laid back down, holding you close to him as you two resumed the series while waiting patiently for your baby to move again.

⩥ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

„That's him, that's the guy. The guy with the black hat is the killer!“ shouted Wooyoung as the aforementioned character of the movie you were watching appeared on the screen.

„Oh my fucking god Wooyoung, I swear I'm gonna sew your mouth one day, try to do this once again and you'll be the one left out when we have the next movie night.“

The boys started scolding Wooyoung as he once again spoiled the movie you were watching, some of them throwing pillows at him.

Switching between the channels you turned the TV off and decided to rather talk together since nothing watchable was on. You listened to the eight men that were discussing their next week's schedule.

Laughing at some of the sarcastic remarks your husband Yeosang made, you comfortably positioned yourself on Yeosang's laps, his strong arms keeping you close and wrapping around your baby bump protectively.

It was as if your baby reacted to the feeling of his dad's hands when you felt some weird twitches and tumbles. Shrugging your eyebrows at the weird feelings you supposed was the baby kicking, you lightly bent forward, your fingers circling over your bump, occasionally poking it to get another reaction from the baby.

„Is something wrong, Y/N?“ queried your husband Yeosang, catching the attention of the others, who stopped in their convo, instead diverting their attention to you.

„I-I think our baby moved...“ as soon as the words left your mouth, all of the boys jumped out from their seat, coming over to you and immediately placing their hands on your belly out of curiosity, leaving you and Yeosang speechless as the 7 men tried to feel your baby moving.

„Oh my god, guys I feel it kicking.“ San immediately scoffed at his words, responding sassily. „Shut up Wooyoung, you don't feel anything, you made that up because you just want to be the first one to feel our little niece move.“

„Get your hands off my wife's bump, you're irrelevant right now. Her dad should be the first one to feel her kick, her uncles are further in the line. Make your own child.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

Having to deal with pregnancy was hard, but having to deal with pregnancy when your partner couldn't be present all the time, was even harder. Many would've thought that having an idol husband must be a dream come true - a life out of fanfiction.

But at the same time, you have to deal with an exhausted man who has a packed schedule and hardly any free time. After the two of you got married, San and his group adjusted their schedule to have more time, after all, all the members weren't that young anymore and they also had their own lives.

When you got pregnant San made sure to be there for you as much as he could, it wasn't a comeback season so it was possible. However he was shooting for a drama he was supposed to play a lead role in, so he left for a 'job trip' for two weeks since they were shooting in Jeju Island.

Coming out of your shared bedroom, you yawned, still not completely woken up from your night sleep. Picking some milk out of the fridge to cook oats in, you made yourself oatmeal with fruit and a cup of coffee to eat for breakfast.

Digging your spoon into the bowl, you couldn't get yourself to have a bite. Your stomach feeling somehow heavy. It wasn't like the morning nausea you had in the first trimester, it was just a bad feeling as if someone was squeezing your stomach.

You at least drank the coffee as you sat down on the couch in your living room, turning the TV on to listen to watch some news. You caressed your baby bump out of a habit, it was almost like a routine, every morning when you and San watched the news, he'd always caress your belly.

Sipping on your coffee, you felt a sharp kick to your ribs and stomach, spilling the coffee all over your clothes. You shrugged your eyebrows, mouth wide opened as you tried to hold back your tears from the sharp and tingling pain.

„Ah, I've been carrying you for over 5 months and this is how you repay me with your first kick?“ Saying playfully to your baby even though you knew it can't hear you, you couldn't help but smile at the precious feeling of your baby kicking even though it was painful.

'I should probably say this to San, he'd be happy to know that our baby kicks' you said to yourself as you picked your phone and dialled his phone number, hoping that you won't interrupt anything and he'd be able to pick up.

„Good morning princess.“ you subconsciously smiled at his sweet voice as he called you the pet name he often used.

„Sannie, our prince kicked me. It hurts like hell, he's a strong boy, he must be taking after his daddy.“ you could feel the regret in his voice at not being able to be there when your baby kicked for the first time.

„Waah really? Ah I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there when he kicked for the first time, wait for me I'm home in 3 days.“

⩥ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢

Chopping some pepper bells, onions and tomatoes, you put the aforementioned vegetables into a pot, pouring a bit of oil and letting it roast on a low heat as you poured some vegetable broth onto it afterwards.

Looking up to see your partner Mingi enter the kitchen with no t-shirt, his sweatpants long hanging as he rubbed his sleepy eyes, from having to wake up after coming home late after his practice.

„Good morning sleepyhead.“ He smiled at you beamingly, brushing his hair with his fingers and pouring himself a glass of water. „Good morning, babe. Woah, I'm so tired, my muscles stiffened as I slept, I must be getting old.“

Laughing playfully at his remark you resumed your previous activity of cooking, pouring some seasoning into the pot.

The sleepy figure of your partner Mingi, disappeared from your sight as he got behind you, his long limbs wrapping around your waist as he nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck, whining out of the comfort.

„Mingi we can cuddle later, I have to finish cooking, okay?“ He groaned in disagreement not moving a bit as his grip tightened around your '4-month old' baby bump, running his fingers over the material of your tank-top.

You were so engaged in cutting tofu, that you didn't pay any attention to the feelings in your lower belly. Sensing some tingling, you brushed it off, thinking it was only Mingi's fingertips trying to tingle you to make you stop doing your actions.

„What was it?“ Letting out a quiet 'what do you mean' you continued not taking your eyes off the cutting board. „Your belly moved.“ Turning over to look at him, you raised your eyebrows, not getting any of his words. „It didn't move.“

„It did Y/N, I felt it.“ Letting out a small chuckle you turned back. „Mingi, I'm not going to stop and cuddle you, this attempt to make me stop is hopeless.“ as you cut the food, you suddenly felt a movement in your lower stomach.

„Wait, oh my, it really moved. Woah, it must be our little princess.“ tears fell down your cheeks at the new feeling, happiness overflowing your veins. „See? I wasn't lying!“

⩥ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

Standing in backstage, you watched from behind as your husband Wooyoung performed their newest comeback's title song on the music show stage.

Swaying his hips and letting out soft angelic sounds off his mouth. Finishing it off as an ending fairy with his serious but hot pose. Bowing respectfully to the cameramen and staff, sweaty figures of the members left the stage as they returned to the backstage, breathing heavily from the dynamic choreography.

„You were amazing guys, as always.“ You exclaimed as they neared you, grateful smiles on their faces. Wooyoung took your hand on his way and you followed him to their changing room.

„Uhm, I'll wait for you outside while you change.“ you stated as you sat on the metal bench that was in front of the changing room. Running your hand up and down your visible baby bump, you closed your eyes, just trying to think peacefully about anything that came up to your mind.

A gentle thud in your womb breaking you out of your concentrated state. You focused on your swollen belly, thoughts running all over your mind. Could it be your son? Not paying attention to the sound of the door opening you still thought about the uncanny feeling.

Since it was your first pregnancy, how were you supposed to distinguish between those feelings?

„Y/N, I'm done, let's go, Yunho is paying for dinner.“ Looking up at his smiling you focused on his deep hazel eyes with little sparkles in them. „Youngie, I think our baby kicked...“

A really loud 'woah' left his mouth along with some cheerful squeals, alerting all the people in the hallways.

„Really? Did our son really kick? Don't play your jokes on me. We'll have to celebrate then, come on, give me your backpack and I'll treat you the best meal of your life.“

„You? Didn't you say Yunho is the one who's paying?“ you remarked playfully in the mood to tease him for every detail he says. „That's just a bare detail, come one honey.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

„What can I get for you?“ asked the young waiter dressed in a uniform with the logo of the café you were in.

„She's pregnant and she shouldn't drink much caffeine, so one strawberry and one watermelon lemonade.“ ordered your husband Jongho, before you could even open your mouth to say something.

Turning to face his caring and lovely smile, you pouted at him, for not giving you a chance to order something yourself.

„You know I can order for myself? And I didn't have any caffeine in a week, so I could at least have an iced latte.“ He shrugged his shoulders, as he gazed around the café.

„It's not about the caffeine right now. Do you remember? We had our first date here and drank the same thing, I just wanted to recall the memories.“ You smiled as you replayed those reminiscences in your mind.

„Who would've thought that a bundle of joy will come out of the single date, I can't express how happy I am. I still remember that day, I was so nervous and embarrassed myself so many times that I thought you would've never wanted to go out with me again, yet you did.“ you smiled at his remarks, thinking about how he almost tripped on his own foot from how nervous he was.

„I did. And there wasn't a time when I regretted, going out with you was the best choice of my life.“

As the waiter was approaching you with the lemonades, you felt fluttering movements occur in your lower abdomen. Jongho noticed the grimace on your face as you lightly hugged yourself, but waited until the waiter left.

„Is something wrong Y/N?“ You looked up to meet his worried face. „I- I don't know, there is a weird fluttering feeling in my stomach and it's just... weird.“ You answered as you took a sip of your tasty lemonade, his gaze softening.

„Y/N, it must be our baby, he started kicking, don't you think?“