#do i tag every character and episode and book i mentioned???

[obsessedanddepressed]

I love so many things because they're the first- in general, too, but right now I'm thinking of Doctor Who.

I love Rose Tyler because she was not only the first companion but really the first character I saw in Doctor Who. It all started with her. I didn't even know they changed companions like that- for me it was her and the doctor - it was their show.

And of course I love nine because he was the first. I knew about regeneration but I thought I would never really see anyone else as the doctor. I was wrong of course, and poor nine with only one season was left behind and I don't know who my favourite doctor is but 2016 me would kill me when I say it's not him. But he was the first, and that makes him so special.

But there's so many firsts. I love Dalek because it was the first story that had me really worried, the first story that had me crying. I love Bad Wolf / Parting Of The Ways because it was the first time shit really hit the fan and the world was properly in danger and there were so many daleks and it seemed like there was no way to fix it, no way out.

We had daleks after that of course, but you defeat a dalek army once- the second time it's not gonna be as scary. It's never gonna be as scary as the first time you saw an actual dalek army.

And then you have the first regeneration and the first time I had to get used to a new guy playing the doctor. And I did, and three seasons later I realised it's gonna be even harder to say goodbye to this one because I ended up loving ten more than nine and I felt like a traitor.

They can't all be first but 11 is the first I accepted as the doctor within their first episode. If that counts for something.

I didn't get used to 12 so easily but he was my first "current" doctor. I caught up just before season 10. And now there's all kinds of firsts again because I'm so, so fond of season 10 because it was the first one I had to wait for, the first time I watched episodes weekly, as they dropped. Bill was the first companion I met at the same time as everyone else. And I can't even begin to describe my feelings about World Enough And Time. It was the first time I logged onto tumblr because Something Just Happened and had the collectively losing our minds over the latest episode experience. And 12 was the first doctor I had to say goodbye to in real time. The first time I waited for a regeneration episode both dreading it and barely containing my excitement. It was the first time I saw a regeneration scene that wasn't already part of fandom history. I don't know how to put it. It's not the saddest (for me) but it is the one that feels… the realest. Like it's not only a part of this tv show I love but an actual event, intrinsically connected with a certain time in my life.

And 13 is the first I saw announced, of course. The first doctor who was new for everyone. The first doctor where I had to try to guess what they're gonna be like from trailers and promo pics and stuff. The first doctor whose run I saw, from beginning to end, as it aired. And I don't love her seasons all that much, I don't like a lot of things about them, and I had a hard time accepting her as the doctor but there's still this sense of nostalgia about her because look at her. That's the first doctor I saw announced in real time. After the announcement I sat myself on the floor and drew her in that black hoodie we first saw her in, with the previous (9-12) doctors in some sort of bubbles behind her, and I still have that drawing on my door. And I only have one funko pop of the doctor, and it's her. I kept seeing it in stores and i was mad it was the only one they had- only the current doctor. But then they announced her leaving and I caved. And bought it just before The Power Of The Doctor as a sort of goodbye.

And now we have fifteen, and I'm amazed to say that he's a first too, in a way. Because (and i said this before) I didn't have my "oh yeah this is the doctor" light switch moment with 13, i just kinda got used to her. But I did with 15, in Boom. So now he's the first new-for-everyone doctor that i saw in a specific episode and went "Yeah. There it is. That's the doctor. I see it."

And that's just talking about New Who.

Cause then there's the first classic doctor I saw (In a story? 4. In a full season/ their whole era? 3) and the first companion which must be Sarah Jane because of New Who, and because the first classic story I saw was with her and 4. In a way it's also Liz, cause when I started watching classic who for real, I started with season 7, so Liz and 3. But Sarah... It's the same as with Rose. She was the very first.

Now that i think about it. I saw The Sarah Jane Adventures way before i watched any classic who.

Of course i love her so much.

And speaking of spinoffs and extended universe,

I love The Night Of The Doctor because it's the first time I ever saw 8, and I liked him instantly. Instantly. And then I saw the movie, and listened to his big finish stories (the first time I listened to big finish). I have such a soft spot for 8. I read my first doctor who comic because of him (A Matter Of Life And Death). I read it online, back then. Now I have it in my library, along with 30+ other dw comics. And books too. And don't get me Started on the books. I saw In The Blood in a bookstore in 2017. It was the first time I saw a doctor who book. I looked it over, and I read the first couple pages, and it sounded nice so I decided to buy it, but not then, cause I didn't have the money. And I passed that bookstore many times, and every time I looked longingly at that book, and one day I did have the money and looked for it and it was gone. Years later when I was visiting London for the first time, I found it at the who shop, and I did buy it then. I had read other dw books by then, so while it's not the first one I read (that was The Stone Rose) it is, I think, the one I hold dearest. And when I did finally read it, I really liked it, too. So it was worth the wait.

I dunno. It's taken me an hour and a half to write all this but I was sitting in my bed thinking how much of an impact being the first [something] could have. And how many firsts I can find only in my experience with Doctor Who. I had to write it down. It felt important.

Hopefully I can fall asleep now.

[reneedenoailles]

Bringing this back !

Here's a fun little thing I'm bringing back for the fandom - reblog this (or make ur own post) with your favorite ONGOING books, if you want you can add reasons as to why they're your favorites, and tag people who you think would like to participate ! 😁

reasoning & tagging below the cut to not clog the post ✨

honorable mentions: astrea's broken heart, the missing, w time catcher, kali: flame of samsara.

tagging: @theodoravery @suckitphaneuf @lanesrequiem @haitianempress @ratanslily @jillfvs @a-cloud-for-dreams @taemcains @webanglikethat @hexesandroses @renninflight @rosesandpearlss and anyone else who would like to participate ! <3

a) Soulless - where do I start ? Amazing. Showstoping. Spectacular. Totally unique, completely not ever been done before. I LOVE every single love interest, I love Vyxaria as an MC no matter the path, I looove how neatly the plot all ties together - it's just all amazing. Best ongoing story I think.

b) Shakespeare's Code - despite the fact it's been 6 episodes, this story is bumped to the TOP of my favorites. It's just amazing, Amabelle is extremely entertaining as an MC, the love interests all have different plotlines, and I love how many stats & combinations you can have !

c) 7 Brothers - of course, it wouldn't be fair to talk about my favorites without talking about this story I've been defending tooth & nail since forever. A misunderstood work of art, I really like the MC, Jaynie's so relatable & an all-around character, I absolutely cherish her. Of course, there's the love interests & Langley's amazing writing strikes again. It's always the first story I play every update <3

d) Love, Sin & Evil - another underrated work of art, my favorite thing about this story is the mechanics of saving the characters ! Super innovative, I love it. I also think Mina's a super entertaining MC and the fashion is just top notch, though on the more expensive side 👌 Eagerly waiting for the next update & the upcoming finale.

e) Heaven's Secret: Requiem - unfortunately, despite all its problems, specifically romance-wise, I still really like this story, at least for the plot of it. I'm still invested in what the fuck is the deal with Lane, and how it's all going to end.

f) And The Haze Will Take Us - Suuuuper invested to see where Alice is taking this story. I was kind of torn on season 1 but I'm actually really focused on season 2 to see where this story and this haze will be taking us ! Looking forward to the next update.

[respectthepetty]

Petty, I respect you.

I do.

However.

DONT BE QUITE ABOUT THE COLOURS IN ON1Y 1 BECAUSE I WILL READ A FULL THESIS ON IT, 20 PAGES!!!! 50 PAGES!!!!

PLEASEEEE Give

It

To

Meeeeeeeee 🥹

Anon,

You've opened a floodgate.

Because I always notice the colors, but just because I see colors doesn't mean I know why they are significant. Even if I see there is a pattern, it doesn't mean I understand its importance. And I don't think y'all should be subject to me screaming about Jiang Tian's paper bookmarks being yellow and pink in a book of (love?) poems where he has highlighted that "a girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight" and "16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling."

Sheng Wang asks who this is about, but we know who this is about. The colors mean things.

And more importantly, I actually didn't write weekly or episodic posts about shows until 2022. I used to wait until a show was over to write about the colors or background noise, and, mostly, I only did it when people would ask me about it. Big Dragon was the first show that I felt compelled to write weekly about the colors and background noise because it was so amazing, so 2024 is still an odd space for me to be in sometimes because as much as I love colors, I'm ALWAYS surprised how much y'all want to know about them . . . weekly . . . per episode . . . for all the shows.

I write for myself, but sometimes I think y'all don't need to witness me losing my shit every week for sixteen weeks over obviously color-coded characters in The Loyal Pin.

And sometimes I think y'all don't want to witness me losing my shit over colors that I can't completely understand like the grays in 4 Minutes.

And then other times I think y'all shouldn't have to witness me losing my shit over colors that I'm not sure are colors until I've watched enough episodes to feel sure that the colors are, in fact, coloring; then, the series, The Trainee, actually tells me the colors were coloring the entire time like I thought.

And that's why I try to be quiet about shows because I'm figuring them out in my head, or I'm waiting for enough information to feel confident about them, and I don't want to hog up the tag with my ramblings. I need to sit in it a bit to figure out what the colors mean.

Kiseki: Dear to Me was the perfect example. I didn't mention anything about colors until prompted by others because it took me until the third episode to feel certain that Chen Yi and Ai Di matched colors, then it took me close to the end of the series to realize all the cameo couples ALSO matched colors.

It took me until the end of My Love Mix-Up to realize Aoki's color had evolved.

It took me two seasons (and a movie) to feel secure that Kiyoi was a Heavenly Human in My Beautiful Man.

And it took me until midway through Semantic Error to figure out why the red disappeared.

That's how The On1y One is for me. I knew yellow/orange and blue would play some part in the story based on the posters, but I wasn't sure how until I started seeing more visuals appear.

Because even though I saw a yellow container of food for Sheng Wang in the first episode,

I didn't realize he mostly ate color-coded food until episode four.

It's such a tiny detail, so I could have easily missed it, but because I know that he is a picky eater, I feel like it's not simply a coincidence, and I quickly noticed it in the eighth episode.

But I needed to collect more images before I could state that. I needed to let the story develop before I realized it. I needed to settle into it. And that's why I wrote my halfway point post after a few people asked if I noticed.

Because I know I seem like a magician who shouts a lot, but I'm not. Sometimes, I have to be patient and let the colors sneak up on me while I'm simply enjoying the moment, like Sheng Wang's orange alarm clock nestled into the corner of his bed while he falls asleep on his light yellow pillow in his light yellow shirt.

I know not all visuals can be a literal bright yellow sign hanging from the color-coded boy's room, ya know?

I'm not Jenny who cannot grasp that she keeps taking food and drinks meant for Benny even when he realized if she could figure out the mug was about gay rights without realizing he was gay then someone smarter will along and piece the dots together . . .

Because like, girl, he's gay.

But it does take me time to collect images and get my thoughts in order, so until then, I'm going to be quiet.

Or as quiet as a loud ass like me can be.

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 2x05 An Unthinkable Fate (Part 1)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Alright guys, get ready for a whole lot of... not much. Look, both Pen and Colin have gotten a lot in the past few episodes, so I'm not surprised when there's an episode (not in their season) with them barely in it.

Marriage

Say what you will about her outfits (yellow is intentionally not Penelope's color) her hair is on point this whole season. And while I do love Season 3 hair more, girl looks beautiful in every episode so far of Season 2, and you can't convince me other wise.

Anyway. The opening narration speaks of marriage - and there's a curious statement in there... LW speaks of how becoming engaged can't be undone, which is something that might be met with regret and/or relief. And yeah, it's to comment on the Kanthany story, it's an interesting comment coming from Penelope who... does want to be married. She probably does see that there are those who regret their decisions. But I think the relief part speaks to her more. I wonder if at this point - if she did receive a proposal from anyone, she'd feel a bit of relief from the pressure of it.

Moving on to this cute little Pen and Eloise moment... Eloise jokes that their siblings engagements are equal to defeating Napoleon -- which is funny, but also a rare nod to actual historical context. This was when the Napoleonic wars were going on. And, I mean, there's waaaay more drama going on in the world than who's marrying who. But, this is a romantic fantasy - who cares about actual history.... ;)

I love that as Penelope moves past Prudence (who is gossiping away about her engagement) she gives Pru a slight side-eye. She is a bit over the melodrama of it, not to mention she's well aware that it's not a love match but something of convenience. But she does mention to Eloise that her mother is so focused one Prudence that she's forgotten her entirely (which is interesting, because Portia has been barely acknowledging Pen's existence in the first place).

But Penelope does feel a bit or relief. She has been worried about their family's future and financial issues. (Which leads me to an interesting though -- Pen's already been getting some money coming in from LW, I wonder how she thinks she's going to use it at this point, and if she's already contemplating having to use it for her family. Hmmm.)

Family Time

Ah, another fun Bridgerton family drawing room scene. These are always the best -- and a lot of the times the funniest.

We get some context - Anthony's wedding is a month away (time on this show is just so... weird sometimes). And Violet states (somewhat sarcastically) that once Edwina marries Anthony - she will be in charge of the lot instead of Violet. And Colin's comes back with his own sarcastic wit - lord help her.

I mean, Violet, you did have 8 kids. What did you expect really? Also, I kind of love that Colin is always the one with the pithy remarks during these scenes.

Also! I would be remiss if I didn't point this out. Colin is stuffing his face! Book!Colin is so notorious for always eating (and my god, he was always talking about food if he wasn't outright eating). Show!Colin not so much (even if there's some interview I've tripped over at some point where Luke Newton claimed he was eating in every scene of Season 2). Idk, I kind of love this side to the character - and even if we don't see it onscreen all that much, my headcanon is that Colin is a big foodie in any universe.

As the scene goes on, and Anthony goes overboard for various preparations, Colin gives him a huge (but silent) eyeroll. The comedy of it is great. And in fact, there are a lot of little humorous moments between all the siblings in this scene. It's so much fun to watch as they all poke at each other in lovingly sibling ways.

Modiste

There has been a modiste scene in, what, every episode so far? I'm not complaining - I just hadn't noticed it until this project. Anyway - Penelope is listening in hard on what the Sharmas are doing. Gotta get in that good gossip.

There's just a quick little exchange here between Penelope and Madame Delacroix. I have to give Genevieve credit for knowing how to play her situation. She asks Penelope to say a good word about her being the seamstress hired for the Queen's Diamond's wedding. Penelope points out that she's already giving her good press -- but Genevieve comes back with the fact that there's no reason to stifle ambitions.

And Penelope actually grins at this. Genevieve has a tiny bit of power in the situation -- but knows it can get dramatic and messy if she were to take full advantage of Penelope's youth and experience. She knows balance well, and knows how to use her position well. And... I'd like to think that she and Penelope are starting to become friends (which is good - Penelope needs more in her circle beyond her own family and the Bridgertons). And i do think Penelope looks at Genevieve as a good role model for a woman to run her own business. I'm sure it gives her slight hope that there is a world in which she doesn't have to rely on a man (or her family) to succeed.

Feeding the Ducks

This is really a short scene but an incredibly important one as it peeks in on Colin's story development. Both Penelope and Colin notice Prudence is still geeking out over her engagement -- while Lord Featherington is being sooo noticeably meh about it. Penelope is still looking uncomfortable at them - as she knows the situation is a shaky one.

I wonder, too, while this goes unsaid, if Prudence getting married means that there will be more of a light shone on her for being unmarried. I'm sure she's glad she currently doesn't have her mother's attention but it could move in that direction. But mostly - I think Penelope is smart enough to sense something odd going on with her family and doesn't like it.

So, Colin comes up to her (and should mention once again that he has sought her out) and remarks that Prudence looks 'happy'. He kind of chokes on the word, which is an interesting delivery. Because it's yet another person on the planet who has found some resemblance of happiness and Colin... just isn't.

I love Penelope's response of 'well, that's one way of putting it'. Is it happiness? Is Prudence just being obnoxious about being engaged...?

Colin remarks that the new Lord Featherington seems like an interesting fellow, asks about his involvement in commerce, and suggests that he should introduce himself. And Penelope is like - uh, fuck yeah, go ahead and get yourself involved in my family affairs again.

And, before I get into the Colin analysis of this scene, I need to point out at how happy Penelope is. Colin is seeking her out, finding interest in her family, and despite the fact that he's in his head and not really doing that well, Penelope just shines with adoration. She doesn't even seem to notice his self-doubt until he brings it up. She's just enamored with him... as a person... and her liking him just as he is really is (one of the) crux(es) of the this whole thing.

So. Colin.

I think it does make sense, narratively, that this comes directly after his meeting with Marina. I think pre-Marina, Colin had intended to go out and see the world and see where life took him. He was (and still is really) young and not thinking a whole lot about the future. But then there was Marina - and Colin felt like his purpose was to save her. He'd be a good husband and a good father and rescue some woman from her plight. His purpose would be a romantic hero.

And then reality splashed cold water in his face.

And then, as he points out, his siblings are all out doing things. (Not mentioned but) Daphne's married a duke and has her duchess responsibilities. Anthony is solidifying his head of household by finally choosing a wife. Benedict is perusing art. His family is growing up and moving out and doing things with their lives.

And what is he doing? Feeding the ducks... (Or, you know geese, but who is really counting? Also, could they not find a shot of an actual duck?)

Colin doesn't feel like he has any purpose other than taking up space. And this is what Colin's thematic arc is going to be all the way through the end of Season 3. (It's a shame that we only will be getting pieces of it, and it's not developed as greatly as I would have liked - but I do love the concept of his character development.)

I also need to put in a quick word about how this story line is out of the book. Colin's story arc there, too, is figuring out what his purpose in life is -- though he spends a lot more time traveling around and not really doing much of anything before he finally settles down with Penelope.

After Colin's moment of self-pity, Penelope throws at him an incredibly kind response. While slightly jokingly, she notes that the ducks are probably grateful he's feeding them. And I mean, again, with all the adoration she can give.

I clearly isn't noticing it here (or even in the headspace to do so) but she's taking his determents towards himself and turning them into positives. And that's so kind of her.

And sure, you can take the cynical route and say she's just feeding his ego. But I just don't read it that way. He'll eventually give the same kind of uplifting sentiments back. And I think it's just another reason why I adore them both so much. Because they both truly care about each other. And that while both of them carry a large amount of self-doubt themselves, the other is still standing there supporting them. There's a mutual respect and kindness between them that really just gets me.

Penelope goes on to basically say he's still young and still has plenty of time to find a purpose.

And then... man with these clunky segues... Colin says something to the effect of - as Eloise would remind him. Why does Penelope telling him he has plenty of time in life remind Colin of Eloise? I don't know that I understand this remark. I mean, I get that Eloise has been antagonistic towards Colin all season, and there's a hint of a reminder that Eloise is constantly telling Colin to get over himself but.. it's just another awkward turn to bring up Eloise for the next beat.

Penelope asks where Eloise is, and Colin - seeming confused - mentions that she had brought up flower arranging with her. Penelope covers, and is like, ah yes right, even though she doesn't understand what Eloise is up to. She is concerned that Eloise is up to something and is going to attempt to figure it out.

And then... Colin just leaves. Because it's the end of the scene. And they need to get out of it. For a thirty second scene that I actually really adore in terms of character development, the clunkiness at the end... ooff.

Just have to throw this reaction shot in. Pen and Colin both reacting to Anthony falling into the river.

But it makes me curious about social dynamics. Is this where Colin was introduced to Jack Featherington. (That might have been an interesting scene to see.) And just how much time do Pen and Colin spend while out among the ton. Eloise isn't around, which I'm sure is a rarity, but does Penelope feel comfortable spending time with the Bridgertons without her? Does she speak to others in the Ton the way Colin seems to be socializing just fine with others? Ah... all the little questions I have about worldbuilding that the show doesn't really need to care about. :)

[ktdragonborn]

Another Spencer. (Chapter 2)

Carlton Lassiter X Female Reader (Shawn's Sister)

Summary: You finally moved back to California after almost 15 years away. When your mom and dad separated, your dad got Shawn and your mom took you. (Don't ask me why it's just what they agreed on). But now you're back! And you never expected to meet such a dashing Detective that would sweep you off your feet.

Characters: You, Carlton, Shawn and Gus, Juilet, Henry Spencer (dad), Madeleine Spencer (mom), Chief Karan Vick, mention of many other characters.

Warnings: Some bar tension, some dude tries to hit on you for approximately three seconds, so nothing bad. There will be smut and other graphic scenes as the story progresses.

~This story follows the show Psych. Plots from episodes are mentioned and some chapters will have you added to them. I do not own any characters from the TV Psych, just a big fan of the show and a bigger fan of our boy Lassie. I couldn't ever find something that hit my craving for Lassiter so here I am. This will also be a very long story. Very long. I'm starting it towards the end of Season 2 and plan on writing it throughout the whole show, skipping some episodes but in the end, it'll be very long.~

I forgot to add this to the first chapter, but let me know in the comments if you wanna be added to the tag list! Thank you everyone for the support so far on this story!

Chapter 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked into your office bright and early in the morning. It was only your second week in California, let alone in this office, and you were still getting used to traffic and the city's layout. So much had changed since you last visited Santa Barbara, and it was a tad overwhelming at times. 

You turned on the overhead lights and started to prep your office for the day. Small lamps where you conducted your sessions and plenty of green plants around your office. It wasn't a huge area. There was a small lobby entrance for a waiting room-type thing. You had filled the room with a couch and a couple of chairs with a coffee table. Magazines and books for people to read as well as a water cooler. A small desk sat next to the door that led to the larger part of your office. There was a computer and phone set up. No one used it except for you, you weren't busy enough to justify hiring a receptionist- although you have thought about reaching out to Shawn since you know he's bored when he doesn't have a case to work. 

You set your bag down and grabbed everything you needed for the day from your desk. Thankfully, you had two new clients today. Your full schedule included four patients, two new ones, and two “regulars”. They were the first two to join your clinic and have been coming to you ever since. You were thankful for their “business”, and they had been spreading the word about you to their friends, promising every time they see you that they’ve got friends trying to find time to come see you. You set up in the larger room, sitting in your “therapist chair” as Shawn so lovingly described it. You read over the file of the first patient today. They wanted a check-up/check-in with their mental health. In the file they described what they had been feeling, they had been anxious in the workplace and began to realize that their friends were quite toxic. You began to formulate some reasonings and diagnoses for their ailment, just preparing yourself for the appointment but you knew you would keep an open mind throughout the appointment. You looked at the time and realized your patient would be here soon. You got yourself and your patient some water and sat down in your chair awaiting their arrival. 

~I know, You know~

You breathed deeply, leaning back in your desk chair. You moved your hands up to your eyes, giving them a good rub before sitting back up and packing up all your belongings. Today had been a long day. Simple enough, however, one of your returning patients came in with some new drama as she loved to describe it. You probably knew more about this girl's life than her parents at this point and you were happy about it. You were glad you could be the safety net that she needed. However, you knew now that you needed a drink. You shut off the lights and locked the door behind you, heading to your car and going to the closest bar you knew of. 

~They just don’t have any proof~

The problem about being a girl in California in a bar all by yourself is being a girl in a bar all by yourself. Unfortunately, the state you're in doesn't change much of anything. You sat alone at the bar, you took an end seat, and the only seat open next to you would cram someone up against the wall. You thought that might keep people away but unfortunately, it didn't. Fortunately, however, today was Friday, which meant you could relax and decompress from the week you just had. 

Another man tried to move into the seat next to you. You had been observing him across the bar and knew he'd try something. About 4-5 drinks in and his buddies kept pointing at you too. You looked at him and gave him a small smile. “Sorry pal, seats taken,” that's been your excuse most of the night, playing up that you're waiting for a friend or a date to stop by. 

“We've been here the whole time you have, and no one's shown up yet,” the man slurred through his words and started to get close to you. You reached for your drink and covered the top of it, not risking anything. 

“I might've gotten stood up but I'm willing to wait. Again, seats taken sir, please go back to your friends.” 

“Ah come on, I bet I can show you a better time than the chump you were meeting,” his hand started to caress the back of your arm. You frowned and looked at his hand. 

“If you don't stop touching me right now you will regret it.” Your tone was strict and your glare was firm. He took a step closer to you and his breath reeked of alcohol. 

“Oh yeah? How am I gonna regret it?”

“I suggest you leave her alone right now pal,” a very authoritarian voice echoed in your ears and you looked behind the man to see a taller man, with salt and pepper short hair and piercing blue eyes. He took your breath away but you stayed focused on the interaction. The man turned around and his whole body language changed when he had to look up to see your savior (hopefully). 

“What's it to you, buddy?" The drunk man tried to sound tough, but it didn't work out. 

“The fact that she's so uncomfortable with you around that she has to cover her drink. Leave her alone before I get the cops involved. I have ties to the SBPD.” The drunk man nodded and walked away quickly, seemingly spooked by something the man showed him. 

“Thank you for that, it's been happening all night but he's definitely been the most persistent one.”

“It's not a problem,” the man said, his blue eyes sparked when he saw you fully for the first time and he smiled at you. You smiled back and offered him the seat next to you. 

“I've been saving this for someone, at least that's what I've been telling everyone else. It's yours since you saved me.”

“Well thank you,” the man started and you signaled for him to stop for a second.

“I'll fit better over there since it's so close to the wall. Plus I think I'll be leaving soon so might as well give you the good seat,” you got up and switched and he sat down next to you. 

“Well thank you for the seat,” he smiled and waved the bartender down for a drink. You nodded and smiled and continued to sip on your drink. You spun around in your chair to face the crowd around you, watching everyone as they interacted. “Do you just come here to people-watch?” Your savior asked as he turned to watch you. 

“I'm a sense,” you laughed a little and turned more toward him. “My dad actually is a retired detective for the SBPD, and he was crazy about making sure my brother and I were super observant. Like crazy observant. My brother is definitely better at it than I am though.”

“Interesting,” the man hummed and looked out to the crowd with you. 

“I am also a licensed psychiatrist, so noticing things about people is kind of my job,” you laughed and the man chuckled next to you. 

“It's kind of my job too,” he said quietly and you turned to him, taking in his appearance. Suit pants, suit jacket, long sleeve button-up shirt. You noticed his shirt was unbuttoned a little bit, showing off some of his chest hair. You could tell he was wearing a tie all day, there was slight redness to his neck from the pressure of it. 

“You're a cop, aren't you?” You said quietly and he looked at you, kind of surprised. “No offense officer, but you're still dressed like a cop, and you have a certain tension to you that cops carry. I saw it all the time with my dad.” He looked down at himself and smirked at you. 

“I can tell you're pretty good at what you do,” he smiled and reached his hand out to you. “Carlton Lassiter, I'm the head detective with SBPD,” you took his hand and shook it. 

“Ooo a head detective, now that's impressive. I'm (Y/n) (L/n),” you took your mom's maiden name after the separation, although she remained a Spencer. Not sure why, but you two never really talked about it. A part of you knew too, that you'd come back to Santa Barbara, and you wanted to make sure to make a name for yourself without Spencer being attached to it.

“A lovely name,” you noticed Carlton swallowed hard, his eyes shifting as if gauging the situation and conversation.

“You're too kind, detective,” you winked and he smiled a little. “Listen, Carlton, I've gotta be honest with you,” you paused and his eyes changed, showing uncertainty, “I just feel like I need to tell you that I'm not a one night stand kind of gal, so I really don't wanna get your hopes up.” Carlton seemed to sign, or let out a breath he was holding.

“I'm fine with that, more than fine with that actually,” he almost said too excitedly.

“That’s a relief,” you laughed and relaxed a little with Carlton. “So, had any good cases lately?”

“I have,” he smiled and adjusted himself slightly, “We just had a case where the victim was murdered with the smallest dose of snake venom from Brazil, some crazy doctor was stealing money from the charity organization they were a part of.”

“Oh, you know what, I think my dad told me about that! Was it at that weird secret society lodge?”

“Yeah! Wait how’d your dad know?”

“He may be retired from the SBPD but that does not stop him from following cases very closely,” you laughed and Carlton nodded with a smile.

“Yeah, I’ll probably be that way too someday.”

“It’s not a bad thing by any means, at least you can still be in on the action without the risk of serious injury, which is good in old age.” 

“I suppose it is. I’m not sure if I’ll ever retire peacefully” Carlton confessed and you laughed. 

“Sounds an awful lot like my dad. There’s certainly a time and place for it, depends on what position you’re in too. Like if you were the Chief you could work for God knows how long, not a whole lot of field work with that position.”

“The field work is the best part though,” Carlton countered and you shrugged and nodded.

“I don’t disagree, but you gotta choose the lesser of the two evils. Fieldwork that can result in not-so-pleasant outcomes may get injured and have to retire early, or, the position of Chief where you can hide away from the outside evil.”

“You make a good point, I’m not sure if I can ever get Chief. Chief Vick is by far one of the most outstanding Chiefs the SBPD has had in recent years.”

“I’m glad to hear it, a good boss means good work.”

“What about you? How’s your job situation?”

“It's great. But that’s because I’m my own boss,” you added with a smile and Carlton gave you a small smile with an eyebrow raise. “I have my own office where I take clients almost every day. I’m working on getting my clientele back up to where it was back home- I just recently moved back to California from Colorado.”

“What brought you to Colorado?” Carlton inquired.

“My mom primarily. She divorced my dad when I was 13. My older brother was 17 and was being impacted the most by their failing relationship, as my mom so nicely explained to me one day. For some reason they just agreed to split us kids, so my brother stayed here with my dad and I went with my mom,” you sighed and Carlton looked at you with soft eyes. 

“I’m sorry. That doesn’t sound easy.”

“It wasn’t, but looking back on it, it was unfortunately the best option for everyone. My brother was basically an adult so my mom thought he would handle the divorce well. He blamed our dad for the divorce. It was my mom's idea though, she never told my brother that so he just assumed it was my dad.”

“Why haven’t you told your brother?”

“It's a conversation I know him and my mom need to have ya know? If I was the one to tell him, he could lash out and not believe me. I know one day he’ll express to our mom how he resents our dad for it, but that’s for the future,” you sipped your drink and took in Carlton fully. The way he carried himself was attractive. He was very confident and calm throughout your conversation with him and there was slight tension building up between the two of you. You thought back to the conversation and realized the trauma dump you just performed. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Carlton asked, surprised at your sudden change of tone. 

“For the trauma dump, I just gave you. You didn’t deserve that.”

“I appreciate it,” Carlton said with a small smile. “It shows you’re comfortable around me already.”

“I guess you’re right. You’re easy to relax around.”

“I guess I should repay the favor?”

“Of trauma dumping?” You laughed and he smiled and shook his head. 

“Not so much of dumping as just sharing more about myself with you.”

“Only if you’re comfortable, Carlton,” you smiled. His eyes lit up and he had a big smile on his face. 

“Surprisingly…I am comfortable. There’s not too much to tell. I became Head Detective of the SBPD in 1996, I’m very good at what I do. I was married, but we’ve been separated for about two years now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Carlton,” you said with a small frown. You reached your arm out and gently squeezed his arm.

“There are times when it sucks more than others. Right now, however, I’m not too upset about it,” Carlton smirked at you and you felt your cheeks heat up at the blatant flirting. You giggled slightly and let go of his arm, turning back to your drink. Carlton was really having an effect on you. You couldn’t remember the last time a grown man made you giggle because he was flirting with you. Carlton watched your cheeks turn bright red and continued to stare as the redness traveled up to the tops of your ears. He was mesmerized by you. A cute, amazingly single woman who was honest and attracted to him. You were young, he could tell. It made him a little nervous, himself being 40. He was nervous because of his age but he couldn’t bring himself to tell you, in case it scared you off. It wasn’t fair to you, he realized that, but he couldn’t help it. Your phone ringing pulled Carlton out of his trance and he watched as you quickly answered the call, muttering an apology to him. 

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked quickly. Carlton attempted to distract himself with patrons around the bar so he didn’t listen in to your conversation. “Really? Oh gosh okay. Yeah of course. I’ll be on my way,” you said with panic in your voice. Carlton immediately felt disappointed when you said you would be on your way. He turned back to you, and you were looking in his eyes immediately. He stopped breathing for a second, taking in your eyes and how vibrantly your emotions showed through them. 

“Everything ok?” “I’m so sorry Carlton, I have to leave. My brother just called and said something happened to his best friend, who in turn is also like a brother to me.”

“It's not a problem, this is obviously very important.”

“Here,” you said rifling your bag and digging out a piece of paper. You scribbled down your phone number and gave it to Carlton, making sure he had a good grip on the paper. “Call me tomorrow. Or- well, whenever you’re free, call me. I know a detective's schedule can be hard to work with. I’d love to see you again,” you smiled and tipped the bartender, grabbing your belongings and standing up. You looked at Carlton and could see the sadness on his face. You hopped a little in your place before quickly pressing a kiss to Carlton’s cheek. His face flushed red and you smiled. “Please, call me,” you said and started to head for the door. 

“I will,” Carlton called out to you as you turned around and gave him a big smile, before waving and walking out the door. Carlton wasted no time in adding your number to his contacts on his phone. He was absolutely going to call you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@capitanostella :)

[writing-for-life]

2024 Roundup

Thank you all for being here!

It’s that time of year again—the recaps are flooding in. Ruuuuuun! 🤣

First of all: Thank you everyone who connected this year—you are all so appreciated, no matter if we are mutuals or not 🖤

I’ll give you a little selection of the posts that people loved most in 2024, plus a few related thoughts about what happened during the fandom year (I always do, so if that’s not your thing, you know what to do 😉)

And what a year it’s been for the Sandman fandom—lots of complicated feelings. For me, they start straight off the bat with this (I’ll get to why later)…

So let’s have a little look at:

Art

Here are the art posts you enjoyed most in 2024:

1. Dream by Vince Locke

2. Dream by Frank Quitely

3. Dream and Death by Mindy Lee

March Mania

My partner in crime @tickldpnk8 and I ran our first fandom event: March Mania. In a Tumblr fandom mostly interested in the show and shipping, it was so much fun to reconnect with the source material and feature the amazing original artists, and I still want to send the biggest “Thank You” to everyone who took part—you know who you are! 🖤

If that’s still not enough art for you:

You can find all my art curation posts via the #sandman art (all art, including my own somewhere) and #sandman x art (official artists only) tags on my blog.

[Speaking of art: I post art for all Sandman characters. However, if you look at the top posts squares on my blog, you’d think it’s only Dream. It’s both funny and a bit sad. You can use my character library to get started, but please, please support all the amazing artists and writers on here who create for more characters than just “the two” by checking character tags on main. You’ll only find the underappreciated characters if you go into the weeds yourself].

Fics & Poetry

I’m a professional writer. However, I’d never written fanfic before 2022. But I had a Sandman idea that wouldn’t leave me alone, and I clobbered it all together during NaNo ‘22 and published on a weekly schedule in 2023. It was a slow start (people on Tumblr are apparently a bit weird about OCs), but it’s really picked up since. I’m grateful for the little community I built around The Light of Stars, and writing its sequel “The Pillars of Creation” also kept me busy in 2024. It still has me in a tight grip right now (if all goes well, I’ll finally start publishing in January/February, yay!). But my writing in 2024 mostly belonged to canon characters, and these fics/poems were what you liked most:

1. Lupē (short vignette, Calliope x Morpheus)

2. Requiem (poem, Death & Dream)

3. Ode to Death (poem, Death)

Honorary mention: Dream’s Therapist [a fun little project I started just because I honestly think he needs one. Many of you seemed to agree, because you liked it more than all the other fics and poems of ‘24. This is the episode you liked most, but I personally don’t think it’s the best one—it’s just the first 🙈]

And again, if you’d like to read more, you can find all my fics and poetry here.

[Another annoying side note 🤣: The work of fic-writers gets shared so much less than that of artists and meta-writers. Even less if you don’t write reader fics, smut or for one of the big ships. I had this conversation with many other writers, and it’s the same for most of us, to the degree that people will ask us for the next chapter and tell us how much they like our fics, but never, ever share them. So maybe that’s something we can all improve on in 2025: If we like something, we’ll share it?]

Meta-Analysis

The Sandman is one of the few stories that hasn’t left me alone since my teenage years, despite having books and bookshelves clogging up literally every available space of my house. I find something new in this work all the time, and I just love taking the fine tooth comb to it.

And the next one is tricky for me, because in 2024, three of my metas took off a bit for certain reasons:

1. The Endless are not their Opposite—they only define it

2. The Truth of Mankind is also Dream’s

3. Only Hope calls you out like that

And at the time, the creator reading and acknowledging my thoughts meant something, simply because the story always meant so much to me—I’m not particularly susceptible to parasocial relationships or putting people on pedestals. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel a sense of anger and disgust on…

July 3rd

The Tumblr Sandman fandom has been limping for some time now because it’s mostly a show fandom. After such a long time with hardly any news, many people simply move on and get their shipping needs met somewhere else. As someone who is mostly interested in the source material/comics and literary/meta-analysis, it never worked like that for me because neither characters nor stories are replaceable for me. But NG turning out to be a piece of shit was definitely the death knell for an already dying fandom—I could actually show you stats to make a point, but I won’t because I want to keep the demarcation lines clean here: None of this should ever be mostly about fans being disappointed or “losing their comfort show”, or whatever. We didn’t lose anything. Those women did. And I personally think every new fan should know about what he did so it doesn’t happen again. Plus, the structures that enable the abuse of power and, more importantly, keep people like this in power, will never be brought down if we pretend they don’t exist. But whether someone can separate the art from the artist is entirely up to them, and no one owes anyone an explanation. Emotional processing is hard, not every personal thought needs to be aired publicly, and our actions matter far more than our words. That’s all I’m going to say about it—my first post on the matter still stands.

Community: The Sandman Book Club

The news awkwardly coincided with having just founded the meanwhile biggest Sandman community on here. And despite everything: I love what my co-admin @tickldpnk8 and I have put together to reconnect people with the source material. We’re always happy if new people join and participate (it’s a community, not a blog 😉).

Fandom Thoughts

There was a lot of stuff in between (we got a S2 sneak peak!)—the same old fandom discourse is one of them. But if I have one goal for 2025, it’s that I want to maintain creating the space I’d like to see.

So in that vein, I’ll be honest and tell you what I lament most: It’s the transition of fandom into a consumer space. As someone who is more of a creator and sharer, I want to keep doing my bit because I love doing it. But I’d lie if I didn’t admit that my well felt fairly empty at times, and that my energy is a bit drained at this point. Investing energy into a limping fandom while others openly stated they would “only come back when S2 starts because there’ll be more engagement” felt strange, and I freely admit it annoyed me at times. It’s just a way of thinking I don’t get—are we primarily fans, or are we primarily chasing clout?

And speaking of engagement:

I often see beautiful art and wonderful poetry that has under 10, or even 0, notes. And it breaks my heart a little that so many people don’t share/reblog anymore. Because every time I reblog someone’s underappreciated art, I see the notes of those posts go up because my blog is connected enough to kick off a chain of engagement, even if it’s not always earth-shattering. You can do that, too. But it won’t happen if you only like. Reblogging is not for social clout—I personally believe that’s a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to fandom. I see it more as saying Thank You for a gift someone gave us, and to make sure that more people also receive that gift.

Because artists/writers give their gift to fandom. Making others happy and connecting over it is the whole point!

And I’d love to see fandom turning into more of a gifting culture again. These pockets exist, so I’m not saying it’s not a thing anymore. But I also see a growing culture in which people only consume and at best engage in a TikTok/Insta-type manner by giving a like that holds no real thought. I get not everyone is a creator. But if you’re not, your gift could be to share and engage more thoughtfully. It doesn’t have to be with everything—it already makes a difference if it’s only the stuff you’d like to see more of. That’s my fandom wish for 2025…

I’ll see you all on the other side—much love to you, and may only the best come your way 🖤

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 1

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st. For comedic purposes, this translation will include the timestamps for the answers. And for efficiency purposes, I have left out all usernames. The usernames of the question-askers can be found via the screenshots in this folder if anyone is inclined to do that.

1422 Come ask questions at #NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#. I will stay online and pick questions to answer without limits from 3pm onward. 1500 Q: Sanshu, what was the thing that Zhang Qiling wanted Pangzi to tell Wu Xie that Pangzi mentioned when he was fixing Wu Xie’s dislocated shoulder? My friends and I would love to know. 

A: Eat well, sleep well, wear socks even in the summer. 1500 Q: Lei, do you like this pic I made? [It’s an edit of NPSS’s face on a pink dressed magical girl body]

A: I feel like this pic is affecting the fengshui in my house.

1502 Q: Shu, it is confirmed that Ten Years is included in the ZHH drama. Then, will the drama show the changes between ZHH Wu Xie and Ten Years Wu Xie? In yesterday’s livestream you said that there are four turning points in the drama. Is it that Wu Xie will become Xie Di after being tricked four times? A: Every character and their fate all have big turning points. Whether he’s a good person or an evil person, whether his answers are real or fake, you must watch till the end [only then you’ll know].

1502 Q: Sanshu, what was Wu Xie thinking in the split second when he saw Menyouping’s portrait in Tibet? A: “What the fuck!” (T/N: swears are not very translatable in meaning. I tried.) 1503

Q: Pumpkin Sect (T/N: this might be an intentional typo punning of nanpai which means southern sect), what would the scene be like if Xiaoge’s mom met Wu Xie? Would Bai Ma be happy that her child had gained some humanity because of Wu Xie? A: Bai Ma would probably teach Wu Xie to sing. Something like The Night of Ulaanbaatar.

1505 Q: Shu, why have you been answering so many questions lately? Has there been some big thing happening?

A: They said that I’m a liuliang celebrity so I should shoulder the publicity mission. (T/N: Liuliang celebrity refers to celebrities who are popular (or controversial) and are able to generate a lot of social media traffic. For example: when a celeb would get on the trending searches whenever they post selfies/ attend events/ do just about anything.)

1513 Q: What would Mo Yungao from Southern Archives do if he had really found Xiaoge? A: He would eat Zhang Qiling.

1523 Q: Is the audience viewing experience taken into deep consideration when making drama and movie adaptations? For example, allowing those who haven't read the novels to understand the plot. I saw some people saying that they couldn’t follow the plot [from the drama].

A: For Reboot, in order to help the audience get into it, we introduced the characters and their occupation in the first episode. But for ZHH,  according to the number of votes, we all chose to do a cold open based on the novel. 

1524 Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, I want to know, based on Zhang Qiling’s arm strength, how many Wu Xies can he carry?

A: If he uses the strength from his waist to assist, he can throw Wu Xie up to the third floor.

1526 Q: What is the ending for Boss Jiao in the Reboot novel?

A: Became Jiao. (T/N: The character for Jiao means burnt).

1527 Q: Will Xu Zhenxuan play Wu Xie in the Heavenly Palace re-shoot?

A: Yes.

1528

Q: Shu, did Zhang Haike recommend Xiaoge’s drink to Wu Xie because he wants to show off that he understands Xiaoge? A: Hahahahaha

1532 Q: ZHH drama and novel will have two separate endings. Now that the drama has an ending, have you decided on the ending of the novel? When will you experience Tianshou? A: I always understood the dramas as the dreams of the characters from the books. That means that the changes in details in the dramas, to me, I would always explain it as the intentional and unintentional amendment to the details as they tell this story to someone else. Or that these are part of their dream and after-the-fact fears. I will explain it again after [you] see the end.

1533

Q: I would like to know the mental state of the company. It seems like it’s taking big steps towards a beautiful direction.

A: It’s rare to be able to legally go crazy. Everyone’s very happy.

Here's the first 15. There are more answers and I will chip at them at a pace that will hopefully be able to keep up with NPSS. The folder also contains a google doc that has all the complied Q&As if anyone prefers to read on that.

[physalian]

Content Warnings for Original Books

Can we please encourage content warnings for smut and other triggering topics in published literature? This needs to be a thing. Everyone bashes fanfiction for being fanfiction, but I’ve never seen a fanfic where the smut or trigger warnings weren’t tagged to high heaven somewhere in the description or in the opening author’s note.

AO3, compared to FFN, even has a specific “mature” rating just for sex—”E”—that FFN didn’t have. FFN had nervous authors throwing objectively mild content into the “M” rating (e.g. "rated M to be safe"), which meant that if you wanted to read a story that was a little bit violent, you had to turn off your filters as a kid and sift through all the smut just to find that one smut-less, but violent, fic.

When I was a kid in my early FFN days, I was probably exposed to way more stuff I shouldn’t have been reading because I had to disable the mature filter, just so I could read so-called “graphic violence” from pearl-clutching authors. I’d be looking for that one action-adventure fic that happens to have a little murder in it, and sift through fifty pure-smut summaries that ranged from vanilla to straight BDSM—of which had a high chance of being incredibly unhealthy, but you wouldn’t know that at 10, 11, 12 years old.

Fanfic authors, especially when the fanfic platform gives them the freedom to tag, are very clear to let you know just what you’re getting into.

—

I doubt I need to explain what a content warning is on Tumblr, but I will anyway. A content or trigger warning is a heads up at the beginning of a work of media that there are some elements not meant for younger audiences, or for sensitive audiences, or for people who have experienced situations depicted in traumatic ways, or for people who just don’t want to consume media with such content.

In film, this is obvious. If it’s rated R, you generally know what to expect. Generally. Because an R rated film could be R because of anything from profanity to graphic sex/assault and torture scenes. The MPAA rating system is garbage and ‘harsh language’ is not nearly on the same tier as sex in terms of what we should expose our children to.

Before streaming like Amazon as a platform to get around cable censorship rules, you had premium networks like HBO for all your adult content, and then some shows greenlit on smaller networks like AMC—never on ABC, CBS, TNT, etc. HBO wasn’t only for adult stuff, I used to watch Crashbox all the time.

That was the place you went for media that circumvented foul language, violence, and nudity rules in America. It kind of came with its own built-in content warning by virtue of being on those networks, and even then they still give warnings for shows on HBO, Showtime, Starz, etc.

At the start of every episode, you either get a full screen from Starz with the little icons for profanity, nudity, violence, etc, or it would be up at the top around the episode's title. You'd know exactly what you were getting into.

—

In a fanfiction, because I’ve never seen one in an original book, much less for generic vanilla sex scenes, this is what we’re all familiar with:

A/N: Trigger warning! This story contains mentions of rape/non-con. Turn back now, don’t like don’t read.

They also tend to appear at the top of the chapter that contains said scene to double down on the warning, or will, upon completion, include which chapter or chapter section to skip in the work’s summary or opening author’s note. In the old FFN days, there might even be a 4th wall break mid-chapter. Though the terminology we use over the years shifts, we still manage to get the point across.

Like, if I turn off all the filters on AO3 trying to browse for tags and underloved characters that may be lumped in with stuff I’d rather not read, I’ll see tags like “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT,” which was not a thing in FFN days, even if FFN had allowed things like tags.

While it’s easier to tell in movies due to that shitty-but-functional rating system, that’s not really the case with fiction books. With books, I know the genre, and I know the intended audience age group. If I pick up a book in the children’s sci-fi section, I know it’s going to be something about robots or space or the future and our characters are going to be about twelve years old.

If I pick up a YA thriller, I know I’m going to have a cast of sixteen-to-twenty-somethings and there’s going to be some violence, very vanilla cussing or the author’s own slang, and probably some murder.

Adult or new adult romance—Sex. At least one scene guaranteed.

The problem is that unlike films and TV shows, we don’t get a breakdown for books on what to expect and the nature of those scenes. There’s no little ‘R’ sticker on the back cover and there’s certainly no little insert between chapters to let you know what’s coming next. There's no "trailer" I can read to get a sense of your tone.

So if I’m in the mood for a new adult supernatural romance novel and I have to sit through a vanilla sex scene, that’s fine, that’s what I’m reading it for. But if Mr. Badboy is incredibly aggressive and dominating and being an asshole with very dubious consent, that’s different (although, objectively determining what is and isn't 'dubious' is mighty difficult).

Should I still expect that I take my fluffy or angsty romance with a fat grain of salt just in case?

What happens if it’s not a romance novel, but I get a surprise rape scene as my character’s Tragic Backstory? What if it’s an adventure novel? Spy thriller? High fantasy or historical fiction or murder mystery? If there’s no indication in the genre, summary, or by the style of the cover that I’ll have to read about two characters getting it on?

Some people don’t want to read your characters in all the nitty gritty details. They really like everything else about your book, they just don’t want to read a sex scene, and they really don’t want to be super invested, hundreds of pages and even years of series dedication in, and be massively turned off by smut.

It doesn't need to be this big to-do or hyperdetailed like fanfic. In my upcoming book, I had beta readers with personal and moral objections to some of my themes. From then on, I made sure to ask up front so I didn't trigger my betas.

ENNS is about vampires. I haven't settled on what my content warning page might look like or how exactly I want to phrase it, but it might read something like this:

Dear readers, this is a content warning for graphic violence and adult themes. This book contains mentions of assault, self-harm, and suicide. Please be warned that these themes are present and prevalent in this story and readers should take the utmost care for yourselves when approaching this book. Thank you.

Something like this, just a quick, lighthearted heads up for your novel would suffice:

Dear readers, this book ain’t for kiddies! Be prepared for some adult themes and suggestive romance between characters.

I'm definitely not in the camp of pearl-clutching suburban conservatives, but if I'm browsing for a new novel for my tweenage bookworm and I opened up a book with an intriguing summary, and saw that warning? I'd be much happier with the author for their consideration, instead of buying it blind for my kid. You have no idea why someone wouldn't want to read a sex scene. They might be prude, or they might be a survivor just trying to enjoy a new book.

Because romance and sex is taken for granted, most people are at least going to be open to the possibility of sex, but not everyone will be expecting it or wanting it or think it warranted. It’s not spoilery, it’s not revealing some surprise plot twist, it’s a kind and considerate gesture for those members of your audience who just don’t like sex scenes. And heck, maybe they don't want to read it right now, but they'll remember you and pick your book back up later because you tried.

—

TL;DR: I don’t mind smut. When done well.

There’s a reason romance such a compelling story and why it dominates fanfiction and original works leagues ahead of all other plotlines.

But it still needs a content warning, even if you think it’s obvious, or spoilery, or patronizing. Because if I’m not in the mood for it, it just drags and I want to put the book down instead of reading all your hard work to completion.

[vera-king-hrfl]

I FINISHED A BOOK!!!

Heat of the Night: Episode 1 is done! It's up on ao3, and it's probably been 3 chapters since I announced an update, so there's lots to read. 😊

Ok so. In case this is the first you're hearing about this crazy series, it stars all of our favorite tieflings, a bunch of OCs, and nearly all the important characters in the game transported into a more modern setting.

My wackass ships, mostly just getting started:

Lia x Astarion

Damays x Raphael

Rolan x Florrick

The rest of the mains are with our npcs.

Cal and Ryldinn are the main couple, and the story is mainly told through their perspective, with aside to several others, including Zevlor. Almost every tiefling in the Grove in Act 1 is at least mentioned, with the rest showing up later, and some have very large parts to play.

Our plot in this is a mystery. Tieflings are vanishing from Baldur’s Gate, only to reappear days later, weak and missing half their blood. Who is responsible? What shall we do? Can our heroes find and rescue their friends before it's too late?

Mind the tags, there's plenty of smut and some violence, but if you're interested I'd be honored if you'd check it out and give me notes. It's the longest story I've ever finished and I'm really proud of it. If you've already read it, thank you so much!

I want to especially thank my bff @crowwolf for being amazingly supportive and helpful through this process. It's difficult for me to finish things but we came up with the idea to make it a series and now I don't have to. ❤️

[frankensteins-mt-dew]

Ten people id like to get to know better

Tagged by @sleepy-insomnia-bear

Last song: Here with me by Marshmello. From my Wonderland novel playlist I've been working on for a while now( if y'all want I can drop that link and more info about the novel)

Favorite color: either dark teal or dark green

Last book: In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune. It's a really fun retelling of Pinocchio in a post apocalypse setting. Main character is ace and I cried every time that was mentioned because I do every time I find an ace character

Last movie: Red One. Loved it, it was a rom com with Dwayne the rock Johnson and Chris Evans and no one can change my mind. I would love a sequel solely focused on the other holidays cuz that was such a cool concept.

Last TV show: star wars Skeleton crew! I am in love with this show, it's star wars and pirates, so it hooked me pretty easy lol

Sweet/Savory/Spicy- it depends. Usually more of a sweets person but I do love savory. My spicy is not really spicy sooooooo......

Relationship status: single, not down to mingle. Dating stresses me out but maybe one day I'll try it again. Maybe

Last thing I googled: the Amphibia title animation so I could make a joke during my Critmas live blog 😂

Current obsession: I mean , with critical role I've been a critter for so long now it's more like a friend i catch up with every week. I had a root canal yesterday (zero stars, do not recommend) and driving on the way home I listened to and episode of mighty nein cuz it just feels so comfy.

Hazbin hotel and helluva boss is kinda my obsession, in the sense that I'm like, gnawing at the drywall waiting for new content to consume, especially for hazbin

Oh, and the wicked soundtrack is just constantly going through my brain, so there's that.

Looking forward to: Christmas! It's my nieces first Christmas and I'm super excited! Also I am really excited to give my Aunt her gift, she's the one that first introduced me to wicked l, so I got her a prop replica of the Grimmerie.I really hope she likes it 💚

No pressure tags: @highladyofdusk @extremelybears @freshcut-chetney @criticaloki @kazoosandfannypacks @barbossas-wench @glitterinlowgravity @darkflamingfire @bloodsoaked-rainbows @wenamedthedogkylo

[monstrousproductions]

Ace rep in Monstrous Agonies!

Monstrous Agonies may be deservedly famed for its monsterfucking, but what if you're more in the mood for monster cuddling? Monster hand-holding? Painting miniatures with your monster while you listen to a podcast together?

Have no fear - there's plenty of asexual and aromantic rep to be found in Monstrous Agonies too! Here are four big ace moments in the show so far, with quotes from the transcripts.

You can listen to Monstrous Agonies wherever you get your podcasts, or check out monstrousagonies.co.uk to listen online and for full transcripts for every episode!

Episode Twenty One - Love in the Ace-pocalypse

The first time a character describes themselves as something akin to asexual is an admittedly blink-and-you'll miss it moment in Episode Twenty One, during a letter from someone worried the relationship that seemed so promising during the apocalypse now seems to have stalled a little...

I don't mean sex. Well, I don't not mean sex. I mean, look, I don't even know if he- Personally, I can take it or leave it, but- [sighs] I just thought there'd be something, alright? Something different.

It's a small enough mention, but a gentle acknowledgement that sex is not actually what makes a relationship special! There's also a little easter egg in this episode for fans of a certain book/TV show popular on tunglr dot com, if I tell you that this letter, which mentions wielding a sword at the apocalypse-averting showdown, was tagged in the planning document as "ethereal/occult"... 😇😈

Episode Twenty Eight - Human Juice Box

The first unambigious, canonical declaration by a character of their asexual identity comes from a letter-writer affectionately known as Human Juice Box, with a question about how to make their queerplatonic partner feel more comfortable with the inherent intimacy of drinking another person's blood directly from their chewy meaty neck.

We already hold hands and cuddle and sometimes even shower together. But because neither of us intended it as romantic or sexual I've never considered it to be!

The letter-writer describes themselves as aromantic but not asexual, while their partner is asexual but not aromantic, and their letter explores what physical closeness and intimacy look like when sex is off the table. It also includes some fun world-building about NHS blood-bank deliveries for persons of haematophagic background 🧛

Episode Forty One - Mothman says Ace Rights!

Monstrous Agonies is largely made up of listener submissions, with some people writing in to riff off previous episodes and continue their ideas. Episode Forty One was one of these, where the in-universe letter made mention of hearing about QPRs on the radio, and having their interest piqued.

You're not alone in wanting intimacy without sex, devotion without romance.

Let this be a reminder to us all about the importance of being open about the diversity of sexual and romantic identities. Hearing the writer of Episode Twenty Eight talking about their relationship reassured this reclusive creature (I'm not saying it's Mothman but it's totally Mothman) that they can be non-monogamous and sex-repulsed, and still be as loved and cherished as they deserve 💖

Episode Fifty - Sex-Worker Succubus

For this letter-writer, sex itself wasn't the problem. As a sex worker who happened to be a succubus, they could see how useful sex could be as a way for their clients to blow off steam, while bringing in a steady income and energy source. But they weren't interested in doing it when they were off the clock - something their romantic partners could struggle to understand.

Yes, I feed on sexual energy; yes, I have sex for a living; yes, I enjoy sex. And no, I don't want to have sex with you, my romantic partner.

They're feeling the pressure of other people's expectations about them, both as a sex-worker and as a succubus. But as long as they stay true to themselves and communicate their needs, they're sure to find someone who can love them and celebrate them exactly as they are.

These are just four canonical mentions of aspec identities in the show - but as always, every character is up for interpretation! Who are your aspec headcanons? Is there anyone I missed? Does the existence of asexual vampires problematise the ace community's use of garlic bread-based humour? Let me know! 🖤💚🤍💜

[8x23]

tagged by @thatdickhead in “people i'd like to get to know better" (yes i'm very late i'm sorry)

last song: Just by Radiohead; got obsessed with it independently but then i saw a sam edit with it and i just became even crazier

last book: The Husky and His White Cat Shizun: Erha He Ta De Bai Mao Shizun (Novel) Vol. 7 - a.k.a. 2ha. it's a danmei and i don't recommend it despite the fact i've read 6 volumes because it's like a gay telenovela to me

last movie: Ginger Snaps (2000). loved it btw

last show: The Walking Dead, only watched a few episodes because i got lazy but i want to keep going for Jeffrey Dean Morgan's character lol!

last thing i searched: i double check every word in existence so i wanted to know if i was correct about the meaning of "viceroy"

favorite color: red? black? i really don't know

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet > savory >>>>>>> spicy

relationship status: 5 year relationship with my boyfriend :3

looking forward to: moving houses sometime in the next few months, save me from the dump i currently live in

current obsession: the show about the normal brothers who are normal. i've also been trying to branch out my music taste

tagging (sorry if you've already done it but 2 mentions are better than none): @burial-at-the-sea, @incesthemes, @shadystranger, @evie-doesnt-write, @possede and whoever else feels like doing it <3

[deathsbestgirl]

so i recently rewatched all things, what are your thoughts on that episode?

OOF. i love everything about all things.

i've written about it a few times, i think mostly in relation to other episodes, if you go through my all things tag, you'll find them along with a few from other people.

mostly, i love that this episode is as much about faith as so many others. but scully branches out -- i know some others take issue with this for whatever reasons, but i think it's a testament to scully's open mind and her view & respect for religion/faith. in my mind, it's like in the alchemist by paulo coelho (sorry i am so annoying about this book lol) where the main character views other religions as fake and by the end, god & allah are one in the same. i think that's a journey or belief that makes complete sense for scully.

so i put all things on just for this after annoying my wife & roomie all day with season two and three lol (hence one breath & paper clip mentions)

opening voiceover:

Time passes in moments ... moments which, rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed.

But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And, seeing those choices, choose another path?

i love fate vs choice in this show. i just watched paper clip where mulder tells scully "i don't think this about justice...i think it's about fate" -- about these terrible losses they've suffered and where it's going to lead them. these things that have been done to them, happened to them against their will. it's something they consistently struggle with. in christmas carol, scully dreams a memory with melissa where scully tells her "i don't believe in fate. i believe we make our own path." so much of this conversation is echoed back in this episode. scully has every word spoken by her favorite people running through her mind, waiting to understand and pull them out to share with mulder. she does it with ahab, mulder and melissa. like in paper hearts, scully quotes mulder himself back to him about dreams. here, she's contemplating fate & choices. the paths she may have walked if she chose differently, and what her choices mean. it isn't the life her parents would have chosen for her, and in some ways, it is not the life she wanted, but they were always the choices she was going to make.

as much i love the whole episode, the first and last scenes are the most impactful to me, at least character and relationship wise. everything between is how she finally got there, how she finally embraced the lesson melissa tried to instill her. (it also reminds me of the blessing way, when melissa urges scullys to try regression therapy. scully goes, but she flees and doesn't go back until patient x/the red and the black. when mulder is struggling with his own path, and she can't move forward with him without her memories. after cancer, after emily. scully learns this lesson, but from both melissa & mulder. i love that it's when mulder is backtracking. it's this balance game they play because their roles are necessary, and they are two sides of the same coin. yin and yang.)

there's also something to do every time the words "all things" are used. it's in scully's opening voice over, and caollenn says it to scully when she goes to pick up the files for mulder.

There is a greater intelligence in all things. Accidents-- or near accidents-- often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lessons it gives.

colleen feels like someone melissa sent to scully. the blonde woman guiding scully, to colleen, to mulder, to an open mind & other faiths.

scully is initially dismissive of colleen's work, but something about colleen's words stuck with her and she goes back. colleen talks about choices and being true to yourself and "the signs along the way."

what i love is i believe scully actually did this, and this episode is kind of about realizing that? she went to med school because it felt right, and when it started to feel wrong, she joined the fbi because that's what her entire being was telling her. it may have looked & seemed & felt wrong to others, but as melissa tells her, it isn't their life. scully is the one who has to live the path she chose. struggling with our choices is a normal part of life and scully's have had some big consequences for her and her loved ones. but what other choice could she make? they were right for her, and she can't control everything. she couldn't have stopped anything because it was never her fault. something both her & mulder grapple with.

i love when she tells daniel he needs to deal with his choices. she didn't make him do anything, in fact she left because it's what she believed was right. he decided to blow up his family and couldn't deal with the ways he hurt them (familiar, isn't it? i think a running theme in this show).

scully has her vision in a buddhist temple, as mulder puts it, she talks to god and it leads her down an alternative path to help daniel, thanks to her conversation with colleen. and colleen actually helps connect with her someone. i absolutely adore this scene because it mirrors melissa & mulder meeting in one breath. mulder struggled with melissa's beliefs, even as they're similar in some ways. the same as scully struggles with them, similar to the ways scully & mulder struggle with each other's beliefs (or maybe, more accurately, when they step out of their skeptic/believer roles).

it's interesting to me, how daniel seems to belittle anything that isn't medicine in helping someone heal. it doesn't seem to reflect scully's beliefs as a doctor. "imagine a miracle and you're halfway there." something about a commitment to quality of life and honoring the person, not just extending life. it's a gift she gives to daniel, this understanding of life and people. something he wasn't able to extend to her. respect for choice. something mulder & scully always honor for the other. always validating, always helping in any way they can. always supportive even if they don't agree. always listening despite disagreement or disbelief. always taking the other seriously as no one else has ever done for them.

ultimately, mulder comes looking for scully and they go back to his place to drink some tea and talk about her revelations. to philosophize about choice and fate, and how maybe it's kind of the same thing. they had choice, but there was always only one choice.

[bangtannism]

this space is filled with jm solos and people who give too much thought to jm solo narratives

which is why i'm confused that jk biased jkkers (as that anon said even ones that are critical and weird towards jimin) were also upset with the way jk was acting. if it was just jm biased jkkers and solos, i could see it as people using jk for a ship and not liking/supporting him if he steps out of that "perfect boyfriend" and "jm's caretaker" narrative that isn't true or at least isn't ALL he is, but JK BIASED twisting his intentions and actions? that's just crazy....

idk if it's people now seeing jikook (and more so jk) outside of edits and fics or just taekook interacting, but it needs to stop before people become even worse jk (and tae/taekook) antis

i'd love to look at the jikook tag after a ays episode without being made to feel like i'm insane or "supporting bullying and abuse" 😭

there's a few things going on here.

like i mentioned, jm solo narratives permeate this part of fandom. it sucks, but it is what it is, and unfortunately these people tend to flock together, creating an echo chamber that can look to those outside of it as a popular opinion or consensus. the infantilizing of jm is not only maddening, but deeply disrespectful, and if these people really loved him, they wouldn't be doing it.

people are far too impressionable. this goes hand in hand with the first point, but people are swayed extremely easily and the more they see the same sort of opinion, the more they convince themself that the opinion is right. when ays episode 1 first dropped, the first few hours were peaceful and it was clear that the majority of people came away with a positive feeling. once a couple of negative opinions got posted, people started to latch onto that negativity, letting other people's feelings tarnish their experience, and soon it was all over the tag. jk was being weird, distant, uncaring, mean, etc.

the seedier people in this fandom feel vindicated whenever someone says some nasty opinion about a member/ship they dislike and it prompts them to get louder. think about how much more outspoken bigots get when they think they're around like minded people. every single time a shitty take gets posted, be that an original post or an anon message, more people feel that it's okay to also be shitty. this happened bad when tae was announced to be joining jkk in jeju. the tae antis were suddenly all over the damn tag like cockroaches. 🥾🪳

i do think there is a lot of people who are being forced to contend with the fact that jkk are not story book characters living a sacharrine sweet perfect fantasy life where all they do is cuddle and sing each other's praises. sorry to break it to these people (i'm not), but jm and jk are very real people who are a lot more complex than that. they are going to tease and joke and complain and argue and all the rest of the stuff that every other person does. they are also not going to be in the same mood 24/7 and that too is going to affect how they behave and interact. there is nothing concerning about how jkk (or vmk) have interacted on ays so far, let alone something that constitutes the label of abuse. that accusation actually pissed me off beyond belief, because abuse isn't a fucking term to throw around over someone being jokingly sprayed with water.

my best advice to anyone at this point is to use that block button freely and curate a good fandom space for yourself and others. and also just to remember that vmk love each other dearly and no amount of sad internet hate is going to change their reality.

[tlbodine]

Overthinking Goosebumps

It's been a long, ugly year for me. So I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise that I've be craving some intense comfort and nostalgia this fall. Which is, I think, why I found myself gripped by a sudden and intense desire to re-read the the Goosebumps books.

Like every horror-loving Millennial, I cut my teeth on R.L. Stine books. The Haunted Mask was the first chapter book I remember reading, checking it out from the library on a whim. I was 7 years old and completely enthralled.

I spent my weekly $5 allowance on Goosebumps as often as I could and read them from libraries all over the country as we traveled. I didn't have a complete set -- my interest waned by the end of the run, as I'd shifted over to Animorphs -- but I did have a couple dozen of them that I foolishly donated. I haven't touched one of these books in 20 years.

So when the craving hit, replacing my copies felt expensive and daunting. They're collector's items that are worth more than the $3.99 I paid for them in the first place. So I tried to quell my craving by watching videos of people who had done a "read every Goosebumps book challenge," except that just made me want to read them more.

Then I found a bunch of them in audio. They just so happen to be the perfect length to knock out in a day or two of commuting - 2-3 hours per book. A perfect indulgence. I started listening and discovered that not only was I enjoying myself, but that I even had some big thoughts! So, hell, why not blog it?

No promises that I'll blog about every one that I read, and no telling how far I'll make it into the series before my enthusiasm wears off, but for now...I'm overthinking Goosebumps.

So follow along at the "#overthinking goosebumps" tag and come tell me about YOUR experience with these books!

Some General Notes

There are a few things that are kind of a given for every Goosebumps book, which I'll acknowledge here so I don't have to re-tread the same ground over and over in future reviews:

Every chapter ends on a cliffhanger. A lot of those cliffhangers are fake "gotchas" and a lot of the stories rely heavily on practical joker characters in order to add some conflict. Sometimes this is more annoying than others, but I can't really fault Stine for doing it. These were pulpy books for young reluctant readers. When you're 7 years old, this kind of stuff keeps you engaged.

Every book has a twist. At least, most of them do. Some of these twists are better than others. I'll probably talk about a lot of them, but just...you have to go into this anticipating that a lot of these books are shaggy dog stories.

Adults are useless. That's just middle-grade fiction for you. Kids don't want to read about parents solving problems. They want to read about kids having cool adventures.

Oh yeah - I also may mention the TV show from time to time, but I was not much of a fan of the show. I know a lot of other people are nostalgic about it, but I didn't like it as a kid and it certainly hasn't aged well. The effects look cheap, the acting is uniformly terrible, and the episodes generally aren't well-adapted from the books. So sorry if I piss on your parade when I bring up episodes in relation to the books. The theme song is a banger though.

The average Goosebumps book is around 20-25k in length. Stine released a new one every month for the entirety of its 62-book run. He was writing these in a couple weeks. EDIT: Apparently he did employ some ghostwriters, which is news to me and makes me sad, but I still respect him anyway. His background in magazine and TV writing really shows through with these, both in terms of speed, process, and humor.

(I admire the hell out of R.L. Stine. I got to very briefly meet him at NYCC and thank him for his influence. It was great.)

Ok. Fangirl flexing over.

Looking forward to re-visiting these books and giving some of the ol' classic T.L. Bodine deep-dive treatment to them ;)

[impossiblycolorfulpanda]

Would you mind explaining why you ship Azaang? It seems interesting, but I can't put my finger on it. Since you dominate the tag, maybe you have some insights about the ship?

Short answer: It's a superior, more intimate, more suggestive, and more spiritually attuned version of Zukaang and a complete antithesis to Kataang. It mostly takes place in my Book 4: Air/Dark Avatar Ozai AU.

...

Long answer: I believe it all started when I read Aaron Ehasz's tweet about Azula having her own redemption arc with Zuko as her Iroh basically. I then read a fanfic called Azula's Redemption where she's redeemed through Aang by showing her how to open and master her own chakras. It ends with Azulaang being endgame.

It's commonly believed that Azulaang is another "opposites attract" thing but mostly with their personalities rather than elements, even though Aang can waterbend and that art was one of the easiest for him to learn. Azula also had a rather strong fixation on the earth kingdom and was able to bend the Dai Li to her will with ease.

It is often shipped along with Zutara because it gives Aang a love interest. Some fans also see the possibility of Azula reforming due to Aang. I've been studying both characters and their dynamics with other people. I came to the conclusion that Azulaang has as much narrative significance as Zutara.

Azula getting better is the ultimate goal in Azulaang but I wanted to complicate things a bit where Aang is mostly changed by Azula's influence as well.

I invented a little mechanic where Aang and Azula form a spirit bond. This bond unites them as fate, allowing them to understand each other better than anyone else and one will know when the other is lying. This bond is formed when Aang finishes opening his own chakras first and it gets even stronger once Azula completes her chakra session next. Why it didn't form in Ba Sing Se is likely because Aang's fire and light chakras weren't fully opened. Do you know how Katara was an earthly tether blocking Aang's last chakra? I picture Azula being something of an opposite entity where her presence keeps all chakras open.

I mostly place Azulaang within the Dark Avatar Ozai AU of mine. In case you're wondering about that, it's an AU where ATLA has a Book 4: Air but the story arcs from the back half of season 2 of Legends of Korra are put in Aang's saga instead. Some parts of the first 3 seasons are altered though, like when Aang meets Roku for the first time, he vaguely describes Vaatu but doesn't mention his name. In the Library, the gaang learn the names Raava and Vaatu but no more than that, at the beginning of season 3, Avatar Wan's two-part episodes debut while Aang is still in a coma, at the end of season 3, Ozai fights the lion turtle instead of Aang at a different location and his plans for the earth kingdom were a trick to keep the gaang distracted. Ozai wins by slaying the beast and consuming its soul.

The dark avatar doesn't just obtain all bending arts in the opposite direction of Aang's cycle but consumes/controls the very sources of the bending arts, the entire power system of the avatarverse, and the souls of all original benders after causing them to go extinct.

Again, I always imagine Azulaang taking place in that timeline because the reason why their spirit bond forms in the first place is because Ozai doesn't need to fuse with Vaatu, Ozai IS Vaatu. Vaatu is also the true orchestrator of the 100-year war through Sozin and is reborn as a human through Iroh's mother, Ilah. Another reason is that Azula will have every reason in the world to want to join Team Avatar, bond or no bond.

Aang is the one who loses his past lives but in return, after he's purified, Vaatu's natural abilities, instincts, and status are taken from him and combined with all of Raava's while still permanently fused with Aang.

There have been times when Azulaang was seen through a biblical lens with Aang as an angelic archetype and Azula as a demonic archetype.

I hope this makes sense and I didn't just ramble on.