#do i tag every character and episode and book i mentioned???

[obsessedanddepressed]

I love so many things because they're the first- in general, too, but right now I'm thinking of Doctor Who.

I love Rose Tyler because she was not only the first companion but really the first character I saw in Doctor Who. It all started with her. I didn't even know they changed companions like that- for me it was her and the doctor - it was their show.

And of course I love nine because he was the first. I knew about regeneration but I thought I would never really see anyone else as the doctor. I was wrong of course, and poor nine with only one season was left behind and I don't know who my favourite doctor is but 2016 me would kill me when I say it's not him. But he was the first, and that makes him so special.

But there's so many firsts. I love Dalek because it was the first story that had me really worried, the first story that had me crying. I love Bad Wolf / Parting Of The Ways because it was the first time shit really hit the fan and the world was properly in danger and there were so many daleks and it seemed like there was no way to fix it, no way out.

We had daleks after that of course, but you defeat a dalek army once- the second time it's not gonna be as scary. It's never gonna be as scary as the first time you saw an actual dalek army.

And then you have the first regeneration and the first time I had to get used to a new guy playing the doctor. And I did, and three seasons later I realised it's gonna be even harder to say goodbye to this one because I ended up loving ten more than nine and I felt like a traitor.

They can't all be first but 11 is the first I accepted as the doctor within their first episode. If that counts for something.

I didn't get used to 12 so easily but he was my first "current" doctor. I caught up just before season 10. And now there's all kinds of firsts again because I'm so, so fond of season 10 because it was the first one I had to wait for, the first time I watched episodes weekly, as they dropped. Bill was the first companion I met at the same time as everyone else. And I can't even begin to describe my feelings about World Enough And Time. It was the first time I logged onto tumblr because Something Just Happened and had the collectively losing our minds over the latest episode experience. And 12 was the first doctor I had to say goodbye to in real time. The first time I waited for a regeneration episode both dreading it and barely containing my excitement. It was the first time I saw a regeneration scene that wasn't already part of fandom history. I don't know how to put it. It's not the saddest (for me) but it is the one that feels… the realest. Like it's not only a part of this tv show I love but an actual event, intrinsically connected with a certain time in my life.

And 13 is the first I saw announced, of course. The first doctor who was new for everyone. The first doctor where I had to try to guess what they're gonna be like from trailers and promo pics and stuff. The first doctor whose run I saw, from beginning to end, as it aired. And I don't love her seasons all that much, I don't like a lot of things about them, and I had a hard time accepting her as the doctor but there's still this sense of nostalgia about her because look at her. That's the first doctor I saw announced in real time. After the announcement I sat myself on the floor and drew her in that black hoodie we first saw her in, with the previous (9-12) doctors in some sort of bubbles behind her, and I still have that drawing on my door. And I only have one funko pop of the doctor, and it's her. I kept seeing it in stores and i was mad it was the only one they had- only the current doctor. But then they announced her leaving and I caved. And bought it just before The Power Of The Doctor as a sort of goodbye.

And now we have fifteen, and I'm amazed to say that he's a first too, in a way. Because (and i said this before) I didn't have my "oh yeah this is the doctor" light switch moment with 13, i just kinda got used to her. But I did with 15, in Boom. So now he's the first new-for-everyone doctor that i saw in a specific episode and went "Yeah. There it is. That's the doctor. I see it."

And that's just talking about New Who.

Cause then there's the first classic doctor I saw (In a story? 4. In a full season/ their whole era? 3) and the first companion which must be Sarah Jane because of New Who, and because the first classic story I saw was with her and 4. In a way it's also Liz, cause when I started watching classic who for real, I started with season 7, so Liz and 3. But Sarah... It's the same as with Rose. She was the very first.

Now that i think about it. I saw The Sarah Jane Adventures way before i watched any classic who.

Of course i love her so much.

And speaking of spinoffs and extended universe,

I love The Night Of The Doctor because it's the first time I ever saw 8, and I liked him instantly. Instantly. And then I saw the movie, and listened to his big finish stories (the first time I listened to big finish). I have such a soft spot for 8. I read my first doctor who comic because of him (A Matter Of Life And Death). I read it online, back then. Now I have it in my library, along with 30+ other dw comics. And books too. And don't get me Started on the books. I saw In The Blood in a bookstore in 2017. It was the first time I saw a doctor who book. I looked it over, and I read the first couple pages, and it sounded nice so I decided to buy it, but not then, cause I didn't have the money. And I passed that bookstore many times, and every time I looked longingly at that book, and one day I did have the money and looked for it and it was gone. Years later when I was visiting London for the first time, I found it at the who shop, and I did buy it then. I had read other dw books by then, so while it's not the first one I read (that was The Stone Rose) it is, I think, the one I hold dearest. And when I did finally read it, I really liked it, too. So it was worth the wait.

I dunno. It's taken me an hour and a half to write all this but I was sitting in my bed thinking how much of an impact being the first [something] could have. And how many firsts I can find only in my experience with Doctor Who. I had to write it down. It felt important.

Hopefully I can fall asleep now.

[respectthepetty]

Petty, I respect you.

I do.

However.

DONT BE QUITE ABOUT THE COLOURS IN ON1Y 1 BECAUSE I WILL READ A FULL THESIS ON IT, 20 PAGES!!!! 50 PAGES!!!!

PLEASEEEE Give

It

To

Meeeeeeeee 🥹

Anon,

You've opened a floodgate.

Because I always notice the colors, but just because I see colors doesn't mean I know why they are significant. Even if I see there is a pattern, it doesn't mean I understand its importance. And I don't think y'all should be subject to me screaming about Jiang Tian's paper bookmarks being yellow and pink in a book of (love?) poems where he has highlighted that "a girl's shyness is like a tender cherry under the sunlight" and "16- and 17-year-olds are like fruits in the morning sun, sparkling."

Sheng Wang asks who this is about, but we know who this is about. The colors mean things.

And more importantly, I actually didn't write weekly or episodic posts about shows until 2022. I used to wait until a show was over to write about the colors or background noise, and, mostly, I only did it when people would ask me about it. Big Dragon was the first show that I felt compelled to write weekly about the colors and background noise because it was so amazing, so 2024 is still an odd space for me to be in sometimes because as much as I love colors, I'm ALWAYS surprised how much y'all want to know about them . . . weekly . . . per episode . . . for all the shows.

I write for myself, but sometimes I think y'all don't need to witness me losing my shit every week for sixteen weeks over obviously color-coded characters in The Loyal Pin.

And sometimes I think y'all don't want to witness me losing my shit over colors that I can't completely understand like the grays in 4 Minutes.

And then other times I think y'all shouldn't have to witness me losing my shit over colors that I'm not sure are colors until I've watched enough episodes to feel sure that the colors are, in fact, coloring; then, the series, The Trainee, actually tells me the colors were coloring the entire time like I thought.

And that's why I try to be quiet about shows because I'm figuring them out in my head, or I'm waiting for enough information to feel confident about them, and I don't want to hog up the tag with my ramblings. I need to sit in it a bit to figure out what the colors mean.

Kiseki: Dear to Me was the perfect example. I didn't mention anything about colors until prompted by others because it took me until the third episode to feel certain that Chen Yi and Ai Di matched colors, then it took me close to the end of the series to realize all the cameo couples ALSO matched colors.

It took me until the end of My Love Mix-Up to realize Aoki's color had evolved.

It took me two seasons (and a movie) to feel secure that Kiyoi was a Heavenly Human in My Beautiful Man.

And it took me until midway through Semantic Error to figure out why the red disappeared.

That's how The On1y One is for me. I knew yellow/orange and blue would play some part in the story based on the posters, but I wasn't sure how until I started seeing more visuals appear.

Because even though I saw a yellow container of food for Sheng Wang in the first episode,

I didn't realize he mostly ate color-coded food until episode four.

It's such a tiny detail, so I could have easily missed it, but because I know that he is a picky eater, I feel like it's not simply a coincidence, and I quickly noticed it in the eighth episode.

But I needed to collect more images before I could state that. I needed to let the story develop before I realized it. I needed to settle into it. And that's why I wrote my halfway point post after a few people asked if I noticed.

Because I know I seem like a magician who shouts a lot, but I'm not. Sometimes, I have to be patient and let the colors sneak up on me while I'm simply enjoying the moment, like Sheng Wang's orange alarm clock nestled into the corner of his bed while he falls asleep on his light yellow pillow in his light yellow shirt.

I know not all visuals can be a literal bright yellow sign hanging from the color-coded boy's room, ya know?

I'm not Jenny who cannot grasp that she keeps taking food and drinks meant for Benny even when he realized if she could figure out the mug was about gay rights without realizing he was gay then someone smarter will along and piece the dots together . . .

Because like, girl, he's gay.

But it does take me time to collect images and get my thoughts in order, so until then, I'm going to be quiet.

Or as quiet as a loud ass like me can be.

[traineecryptid]

NPSS Weibo Q&A (20240831) Part 1

This is a Q&A session held on Weibo. People will tag their questions with the hashtag #南派三叔藏海花在线答疑# (#NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#) and NPSS will look through the tag to pick some to answer. The event started at 1500 hours on 2024 August 31st. For comedic purposes, this translation will include the timestamps for the answers. And for efficiency purposes, I have left out all usernames. The usernames of the question-askers can be found via the screenshots in this folder if anyone is inclined to do that.

1422 Come ask questions at #NPSS Zang Hai Hua Online Q&A#. I will stay online and pick questions to answer without limits from 3pm onward. 1500 Q: Sanshu, what was the thing that Zhang Qiling wanted Pangzi to tell Wu Xie that Pangzi mentioned when he was fixing Wu Xie’s dislocated shoulder? My friends and I would love to know. 

A: Eat well, sleep well, wear socks even in the summer. 1500 Q: Lei, do you like this pic I made? [It’s an edit of NPSS’s face on a pink dressed magical girl body]

A: I feel like this pic is affecting the fengshui in my house.

1502 Q: Shu, it is confirmed that Ten Years is included in the ZHH drama. Then, will the drama show the changes between ZHH Wu Xie and Ten Years Wu Xie? In yesterday’s livestream you said that there are four turning points in the drama. Is it that Wu Xie will become Xie Di after being tricked four times? A: Every character and their fate all have big turning points. Whether he’s a good person or an evil person, whether his answers are real or fake, you must watch till the end [only then you’ll know].

1502 Q: Sanshu, what was Wu Xie thinking in the split second when he saw Menyouping’s portrait in Tibet? A: “What the fuck!” (T/N: swears are not very translatable in meaning. I tried.) 1503

Q: Pumpkin Sect (T/N: this might be an intentional typo punning of nanpai which means southern sect), what would the scene be like if Xiaoge’s mom met Wu Xie? Would Bai Ma be happy that her child had gained some humanity because of Wu Xie? A: Bai Ma would probably teach Wu Xie to sing. Something like The Night of Ulaanbaatar.

1505 Q: Shu, why have you been answering so many questions lately? Has there been some big thing happening?

A: They said that I’m a liuliang celebrity so I should shoulder the publicity mission. (T/N: Liuliang celebrity refers to celebrities who are popular (or controversial) and are able to generate a lot of social media traffic. For example: when a celeb would get on the trending searches whenever they post selfies/ attend events/ do just about anything.)

1513 Q: What would Mo Yungao from Southern Archives do if he had really found Xiaoge? A: He would eat Zhang Qiling.

1523 Q: Is the audience viewing experience taken into deep consideration when making drama and movie adaptations? For example, allowing those who haven't read the novels to understand the plot. I saw some people saying that they couldn’t follow the plot [from the drama].

A: For Reboot, in order to help the audience get into it, we introduced the characters and their occupation in the first episode. But for ZHH,  according to the number of votes, we all chose to do a cold open based on the novel. 

1524 Q: Sanshu, Sanshu, I want to know, based on Zhang Qiling’s arm strength, how many Wu Xies can he carry?

A: If he uses the strength from his waist to assist, he can throw Wu Xie up to the third floor.

1526 Q: What is the ending for Boss Jiao in the Reboot novel?

A: Became Jiao. (T/N: The character for Jiao means burnt).

1527 Q: Will Xu Zhenxuan play Wu Xie in the Heavenly Palace re-shoot?

A: Yes.

1528

Q: Shu, did Zhang Haike recommend Xiaoge’s drink to Wu Xie because he wants to show off that he understands Xiaoge? A: Hahahahaha

1532 Q: ZHH drama and novel will have two separate endings. Now that the drama has an ending, have you decided on the ending of the novel? When will you experience Tianshou? A: I always understood the dramas as the dreams of the characters from the books. That means that the changes in details in the dramas, to me, I would always explain it as the intentional and unintentional amendment to the details as they tell this story to someone else. Or that these are part of their dream and after-the-fact fears. I will explain it again after [you] see the end.

1533

Q: I would like to know the mental state of the company. It seems like it’s taking big steps towards a beautiful direction.

A: It’s rare to be able to legally go crazy. Everyone’s very happy.

Here's the first 15. There are more answers and I will chip at them at a pace that will hopefully be able to keep up with NPSS. The folder also contains a google doc that has all the complied Q&As if anyone prefers to read on that.

[physalian]

Content Warnings for Original Books

Can we please encourage content warnings for smut and other triggering topics in published literature? This needs to be a thing. Everyone bashes fanfiction for being fanfiction, but I’ve never seen a fanfic where the smut or trigger warnings weren’t tagged to high heaven somewhere in the description or in the opening author’s note.

AO3, compared to FFN, even has a specific “mature” rating just for sex—”E”—that FFN didn’t have. FFN had nervous authors throwing objectively mild content into the “M” rating (e.g. "rated M to be safe"), which meant that if you wanted to read a story that was a little bit violent, you had to turn off your filters as a kid and sift through all the smut just to find that one smut-less, but violent, fic.

When I was a kid in my early FFN days, I was probably exposed to way more stuff I shouldn’t have been reading because I had to disable the mature filter, just so I could read so-called “graphic violence” from pearl-clutching authors. I’d be looking for that one action-adventure fic that happens to have a little murder in it, and sift through fifty pure-smut summaries that ranged from vanilla to straight BDSM—of which had a high chance of being incredibly unhealthy, but you wouldn’t know that at 10, 11, 12 years old.

Fanfic authors, especially when the fanfic platform gives them the freedom to tag, are very clear to let you know just what you’re getting into.

—

I doubt I need to explain what a content warning is on Tumblr, but I will anyway. A content or trigger warning is a heads up at the beginning of a work of media that there are some elements not meant for younger audiences, or for sensitive audiences, or for people who have experienced situations depicted in traumatic ways, or for people who just don’t want to consume media with such content.

In film, this is obvious. If it’s rated R, you generally know what to expect. Generally. Because an R rated film could be R because of anything from profanity to graphic sex/assault and torture scenes. The MPAA rating system is garbage and ‘harsh language’ is not nearly on the same tier as sex in terms of what we should expose our children to.

Before streaming like Amazon as a platform to get around cable censorship rules, you had premium networks like HBO for all your adult content, and then some shows greenlit on smaller networks like AMC—never on ABC, CBS, TNT, etc. HBO wasn’t only for adult stuff, I used to watch Crashbox all the time.

That was the place you went for media that circumvented foul language, violence, and nudity rules in America. It kind of came with its own built-in content warning by virtue of being on those networks, and even then they still give warnings for shows on HBO, Showtime, Starz, etc.

At the start of every episode, you either get a full screen from Starz with the little icons for profanity, nudity, violence, etc, or it would be up at the top around the episode's title. You'd know exactly what you were getting into.

—

In a fanfiction, because I’ve never seen one in an original book, much less for generic vanilla sex scenes, this is what we’re all familiar with:

A/N: Trigger warning! This story contains mentions of rape/non-con. Turn back now, don’t like don’t read.

They also tend to appear at the top of the chapter that contains said scene to double down on the warning, or will, upon completion, include which chapter or chapter section to skip in the work’s summary or opening author’s note. In the old FFN days, there might even be a 4th wall break mid-chapter. Though the terminology we use over the years shifts, we still manage to get the point across.

Like, if I turn off all the filters on AO3 trying to browse for tags and underloved characters that may be lumped in with stuff I’d rather not read, I’ll see tags like “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT,” which was not a thing in FFN days, even if FFN had allowed things like tags.

While it’s easier to tell in movies due to that shitty-but-functional rating system, that’s not really the case with fiction books. With books, I know the genre, and I know the intended audience age group. If I pick up a book in the children’s sci-fi section, I know it’s going to be something about robots or space or the future and our characters are going to be about twelve years old.

If I pick up a YA thriller, I know I’m going to have a cast of sixteen-to-twenty-somethings and there’s going to be some violence, very vanilla cussing or the author’s own slang, and probably some murder.

Adult or new adult romance—Sex. At least one scene guaranteed.

The problem is that unlike films and TV shows, we don’t get a breakdown for books on what to expect and the nature of those scenes. There’s no little ‘R’ sticker on the back cover and there’s certainly no little insert between chapters to let you know what’s coming next. There's no "trailer" I can read to get a sense of your tone.

So if I’m in the mood for a new adult supernatural romance novel and I have to sit through a vanilla sex scene, that’s fine, that’s what I’m reading it for. But if Mr. Badboy is incredibly aggressive and dominating and being an asshole with very dubious consent, that’s different (although, objectively determining what is and isn't 'dubious' is mighty difficult).

Should I still expect that I take my fluffy or angsty romance with a fat grain of salt just in case?

What happens if it’s not a romance novel, but I get a surprise rape scene as my character’s Tragic Backstory? What if it’s an adventure novel? Spy thriller? High fantasy or historical fiction or murder mystery? If there’s no indication in the genre, summary, or by the style of the cover that I’ll have to read about two characters getting it on?

Some people don’t want to read your characters in all the nitty gritty details. They really like everything else about your book, they just don’t want to read a sex scene, and they really don’t want to be super invested, hundreds of pages and even years of series dedication in, and be massively turned off by smut.

It doesn't need to be this big to-do or hyperdetailed like fanfic. In my upcoming book, I had beta readers with personal and moral objections to some of my themes. From then on, I made sure to ask up front so I didn't trigger my betas.

ENNS is about vampires. I haven't settled on what my content warning page might look like or how exactly I want to phrase it, but it might read something like this:

Dear readers, this is a content warning for graphic violence and adult themes. This book contains mentions of assault, self-harm, and suicide. Please be warned that these themes are present and prevalent in this story and readers should take the utmost care for yourselves when approaching this book. Thank you.

Something like this, just a quick, lighthearted heads up for your novel would suffice:

Dear readers, this book ain’t for kiddies! Be prepared for some adult themes and suggestive romance between characters.

I'm definitely not in the camp of pearl-clutching suburban conservatives, but if I'm browsing for a new novel for my tweenage bookworm and I opened up a book with an intriguing summary, and saw that warning? I'd be much happier with the author for their consideration, instead of buying it blind for my kid. You have no idea why someone wouldn't want to read a sex scene. They might be prude, or they might be a survivor just trying to enjoy a new book.

Because romance and sex is taken for granted, most people are at least going to be open to the possibility of sex, but not everyone will be expecting it or wanting it or think it warranted. It’s not spoilery, it’s not revealing some surprise plot twist, it’s a kind and considerate gesture for those members of your audience who just don’t like sex scenes. And heck, maybe they don't want to read it right now, but they'll remember you and pick your book back up later because you tried.

—

TL;DR: I don’t mind smut. When done well.

There’s a reason romance such a compelling story and why it dominates fanfiction and original works leagues ahead of all other plotlines.

But it still needs a content warning, even if you think it’s obvious, or spoilery, or patronizing. Because if I’m not in the mood for it, it just drags and I want to put the book down instead of reading all your hard work to completion.

[chance-lard]

Book!Lucy & Lockwood vs Show!Lucy & Lockwood: A VERY LONG Deep Dive

So I finished the Netflix adaptation of Lockwood & Co.

Overall, I think it was a respectful adaptation, which, despite some plot changes, kept largely to the spirit of the books. At minimum, Joe Cornish actually seems to like L&Co, which is way more than can be said about most adaptations these days. Hooray!

But I wanted to write a bit about one of the bigger changes they made: namely the dynamic between Lucy and Lockwood.

I’ve seen people saying that the Locklyle adaptation to screen was very true to the books, just without Lucy’s close personal voice, and sped up a little in the romance department (“Stroud doesn’t mention what Lucy was doing with her hands! They could have been on Lockwood’s face in the books!” etc).

Respectfully, I disagree quite a bit with this. While some argument could be made about it having shades of their relationship from THB/TCS onwards, I actually think Show!Lucy’s attitude towards Lockwood is a 180 from the way she views him in TSS and TWS.

IDK, this might be a bit of a controversial opinion judging by what I’ve been seeing in the L&Co tag and general ways people have interpreted TSS and TWS in the years since their publication, but I’m going to try to back my argument as best as I can, focusing only on those books.

I’m using the original paperback UK editions of both the Screaming Staircase (2013) and The Whispering Skull (2014).

Spoilers for the show and VERY mild spoilers for books 3+ (literally just the name of a new character/type of ghost + stuff already shown in the show that wasn’t shown until later in the books)

Another warning: this analysis is 5500(!!!) words long, and mostly quotes from the book. If you’d like to just read the main bits, look at the intro/conclusion to each section and read the TLDR; at the end.

PART 1: THE NETFLIX SHOW

Before diving into differences, there are things I do think stayed the same between the show and the books:

Lucy and Lockwood banter, swap one-liners and occasionally squabble.

Lucy remains unimpressed with some of Lockwood’s more slapdash schemes.

During missions, they work equally and trust each other with their lives and the job.

They care about each other’s wellbeing.

Basically, when things are going well between them, or when they are in high-stakes circumstances and need to cooperate, there isn’t too much of a difference between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle.

But as Tolstoy (lmao) says, all happy families agents are alike, all unhappy families agents are unique in their own way. With that said, I think the differences between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle are best explored through the way conflicts are handled.

In the show, there are 5 major arguments between Lucy and Lockwood:

Episode 2: Lucy feels upset and hurt because she thinks Lockwood only views her as an “asset”.

Episode 4: Lucy is upset that Lockwood doesn’t believe/doesn’t want to admit that she is talented enough to talk to the Skull

Episode 5: Lucy gets mad at Lockwood being self-sacrificing/death-seeking after they escape from the Winkmans.

Episode 7: Lucy calls Lockwood a boy with a “cold dead heart of stone”, and is upset that he won’t let her and George in on his past.

Episode 8: Lucy is furious at Lockwood using dangerous methods at the auction, that “every relic hunter in London is out to kill us”, and that Lockwood is acting self-sacrificially again.

There are also the following minor squabbles:*

Episode 1: Lucy rolls her eyes at Lockwood for forgetting the chains at Mrs Hope’s house.

Episode 1: Lucy mad at Lockwood and George for the toothbrush cup initiation test.

Episode 2: Lockwood gets annoyed and brusque with Lucy for keeping Annabel’s source and trying to communicate with her ghost. After Lucy is nearly possessed, he flintily tells her he will burn the source, and that they have more important bills to pay.

*Note there might be some more minor squabbles, but they weren’t significant enough to make their way into my notes

The most important takeaway here is that Lucy is the one who initiates most of the arguments! We can also note Lockwood’s response to Lucy’s anger: mostly he mutely self-reflects as she shouts and storms away, then later he comes to her to apologise and promises to do better. 

The one time Lockwood gets mad at Lucy (Ep 2) we are a) not shown the bulk of the argument (there’s a cutaway after the fight with the ghost to Lucy justifying herself), b) it’s anger born of worry, and c) Cameron’s delivery of the lines is quite measured and muted.

In essence, when it comes to conflict, Lucy is the one holding the cards in the relationship between the two of them.

We also know the show is set much earlier than the books (which take place over the span of a whole year). Show!Lucy isn’t acting this way out of concern for a Lockwood who she’s known and loved for ages. Rather, Lockwood is someone she is not impressed by at all from the outset. The show is setting up what makes Lucy special here: unlike the adults, the other agents, and maybe even George, she’s the only one who can see through his “prodigious entrepreneur” mythos to the hurting teenager beneath.

Within the logic of the show’s universe this makes sense. Unlike Book!Lucy who is a judgemental grump (and is why she has “no female friends”; TWS p80), Show!Lucy is a more confident girl coming right off the back of losing someone she loves dearly.

Having experienced an arguably greater loss than Book!Lucy at this stage in her life, Show!Lucy seems adamant to prevent anyone else she cares about going down the same path. For Book!Lucy, this is a realisation she only comes to near the end of THB.

So to summarise, in the show, Lucy is a hurting, no-nonsense girl, unimpressed with Lockwood’s antics and objective enough to act as his “chain to earth”. From the way Lockwood responds to Lucy’s upsets, we get the sense that he’s quite sincere and maybe more in touch with his emotions than he shows on the surface.

The show portrays two people gradually learning to trust each other and perhaps slowly, mutually discovering their feelings as they do.

PART 2: BOOK: ACTIONS

The show uses disagreements as watersheds for character development, but they don’t play as significant a role in the books. Still, I went through TSS and TWS and made notes of every time there’s conflict between Lucy and Lockwood because the differences are quite telling.

TSS:

Lucy is mildly irritated/snarky at Lockwood for the entirety of the Hope case in TSS, and is angry when he forgets to bring the chains.

Lucy is angry at Lockwood for talking about the Annabel case and getting her name in the papers (TSS, 231)

Lockwood gets angry and berates Lucy for keeping the Annabel source (TSS, 179-181)

Lockwood calls Lucy “too sensitive” and accuses her of getting too close to ghosts (TSS, 248-249)

Lockwood is furious at Lucy for trying to talk to Annabel again (TSS, 284)

TWS:

Lockwood angry at Lucy for talking about the door on the landing (TWS, 116)

Lucy angry at Lockwood (and George) for taking her Listening for granted (TWS, 258)

Lucy scolds Lockwood for brushing off/slapping down George (TWS, 398)

Purely by numbers, they get mad at each other fairly evenly (rather than it being one-sided from Lucy, a la the show).

But numbers themselves don’t tell a full story. In fact, after looking at the particulars, I was surprised to see just how unbalanced their relationship is in the first 2 books (TSS in particular), and how much Lucy sits under Lockwood’s thumb for the whole thing.

Let’s look:

THE SCREAMING STAIRCASE

The Hope House - Lockwood forgetting to bring the chains.

This is the argument that plays out most similarly to how it does in the books. Lockwood asserts that filings “will be fine” for a job like this. In both mediums Lucy lets him go, but in the show she rolls her eyes and tuts, while in the books she tells herself “now (isn’t) the time”, takes a deep breath and changes the subject. In my opinion, this difference is insignificant.

BUT: in the book, the chains get brought up again. On p39, Lockwood suggests they should leave the house because it’s too dangerous, it is Lucy disagrees and thinks they should stay (as an aside, compare this with Lockwood’s behaviour in the show, particularly when escaping Winkman at the auction!).

Lockwood “condescendingly” tells her that her head isn’t in the right place, and Lucy once again accuses him of making bad decisions by leaving the chains out. Lockwood in turn first blames George (as he does in the show), then goes on to blame Lucy!

How the argument resolves is also interesting. Lockwood smiles at Lucy, and ribs her:

‘How’s your anger management going, Luce?’ (p40).

This effectively defuses Lucy’s rage (she likens his smile to “the sun coming out”).

Only after she’s no longer at the peak of her anger does he admit fault:

“He clapped his gloved hands together briskly. ‘Alright, you win'” (about staying at the house). (p40).

Even in the very first pages, we see Lockwood comporting himself as Lucy’s superior. We get the sense he doesn’t take her anger very seriously. Lucy also doesn’t seem to be able to stay mad at him for long.

Now, I've seen readings of Lockwood smiling in this moment as him being simply unable to stay mad at Lucy. That's definitely one interpretation, but I personally don't agree with it. Lockwood has a patterned habit of using his smile to get out of trouble:

“Lockwood took a deep breath; perhaps he realized he had to explain himself to George and me, as well as to Barnes…(Explanation). He switched on his fullest, most radiant smile.

Barnes winced. ‘Put those teeth away’” (TSS, p426)

And:

“‘Papers that almost certainly don’t exist,’ I growled…I didn’t look at him; if I had, he would have given me the smile, and I wasn’t in the mood for that.” (TWS, p258)

Though as we can see, by TWS Lucy has definitely wised up haha

Lucy’s name in the article

On paper, this argument is similar to the one in the show. The major difference is at no point in the books does Lucy explicitly tell Lockwood to keep her name out of the papers.

In the show, this argument leads to one of its biggest disagreements (Ep 2):

Lucy: I told you to leave me out of it.

Lockwood: And I told you I'd handle it. What are you so worried about? It's all true.

Lucy: We haven't even solved the case yet. What if Hugo Blake sees that and comes after me?

Lockwood: Well, then, we'll look after you, Luce. You're our biggest asset.

Lucy: Asset? Is that all I am, then? Just something to make you money? You think that you do things so differently. But you're just like the rest of them. You're as bad as everyone back home.

In the books, Lucy does not get angry when the article comes out (p217). She only gets upset after she’s pulled in by DEPRAC to see Hugo Blake. When the argument erupts, George is also there and it plays out like this (p232):

Lucy: “Don’t touch me. Because of your article, I came face to face with a murderer tonight, and funnily enough, I didn’t enjoy the experience.” 

Lockwood: “Blake is not going to come after us”.

George: “Or if he does, it’ll be very, very slowly, hobbling on a stick. He’s over seventy years old.”

After Lockwood and George’s further justifications about why Blake is not going to “get them” (p232-233) Lucy thinks:

“What (Lockwood) said made sense, as usual. It was good to be out in the night again, with my sword and my colleagues at my side. The distress of my brief encounter at Scotland Yard was slowly fading. I felt a little better.”

We know from this that Lucy’s anger was one borne from worry and fear of Blake. By successfully alleviating that fear, Lucy’s anger at Lockwood dissipates. At no point is she mad at being treated as a showpony or asset by Lockwood. In fact, going back to when the article comes out (p 217), we’re presented with the following:

Lucy: “I still don’t know why you mentioned me but not the necklace.”

Lockwood: “It doesn’t hurt to emphasise what a star you are. We want other clients to come running, eager for your services.”

He doesn’t use the word “asset” here, but you can easily replace the word “star” with the word “asset" to get the original lines that triggered the argument in the show. To this statement, Book!Lucy has no reaction at all (the topic changes).

[As an aside, Lockwood also obliquely calls Lucy and George “inessential” on p214, which they also don’t comment on. Also, at various points he calls George and Lucy “fishwives” (p 272) and Lucy “sensitive” because she’s a girl (p 353) (lmaooo what an ass).]

Lockwood, Lucy and Annabel

I’m lumping these three arguments together because they follow the same pattern: Lucy tries to talk to Annabel, Lockwood gets upset that she keeps trying. What is absolutely fascinating is just how he treats Lucy when he is upset, and how Lucy responds to his anger in turn.

The first argument begins the morning after the fight. Lockwood says:

“Why, Lucy? I just don’t understand! You know an agent has to report any artefact she finds. Particularly one so intimately connected with a Visitor. They must be properly contained.” (p179)

He continues berating her like this (with a lot more anger than he ever displays on the show).

Lucy tries to apologise:

“Yes. I said I’m sorry! I’ve never done that sort of thing before.” (p180)

But Lockwood is still angry:

“So why did you do it now?”

Lucy spends the next page trying to explain why she took Annabel’s source, but even after her apologies and justifications, Lockwood is still furious:

“You forgot? That’s it? That’s your excuse?” (p 181)

The three of them talk a bit more about the mechanics of how Annabel ended up in the house, then when Lucy is in the middle of talking, Lockwood cuts her off again, and they have this whopper of an exchange:

“I hope you’re not trying to change the subject, Lucy,” Lockwood said in a cold voice. “I’m in the middle of ticking you off here.”

I set the case down. “I know.”

“I’m not finished, either. Not by a long chalk. I’ve got a whole heap more to say.” (Lockwood loses his train of thought here). “The point is: don’t do it again. I’m disappointed in you.”

Lucy meekly takes Lockwood’s lecture:

“I nodded. I stared at the tablecloth. My face felt cold and hot at the same time”

Lockwood’s one-sided lecture of Lucy lasts a whole five pages!!!

But he’s not done. It comes up again on p248 where Lockwood accuses Lucy of being 'too sensitive’ (in both the psychic and emotional way), and of getting “too close to (the ghosts)”. Then, in a 180 from the dynamics of power in the show (remember, Lucy threatens to quit several times), Lockwood threatens to fire her!

“You need to be careful, Lucy,” Lockwood said, and his voice was flat and cold. “Wicked ghosts aren’t things to trifle with. You’re keeping secrets again, and any agent who does that is endangering the rest of us. I’m not having anyone on my team who can’t be trusted. You understand what I’m saying?”

Again, Lucy takes this lecture meekly and submissively:

I did understand. I looked away.

In the final argument about the matter (p284) we learn that Lucy is actually a bit scared of Lockwood.

“You deliberately let her free?” Lockwood said. “That was a stupid thing to do.”

When I looked at his face, my heart quailed. “Not free,” I said desperately. “Just…freer.” (emphasis mine)

On p285 Lucy starts crying/tearing up because she thinks Lockwood:

 “...Would not forgive me…this was the end of my employment at the company”. 

Ordinarily, you might be able to argue that her fears are misplaced and subjective (because of her narrow perspective). This rings a little hollow given Lockwood’s threat on p248.

Does Lockwood ever apologise to Lucy during the Annabel affair? Once, when at his suggestion, Lucy tries to talk to Anabel, and things go awry:

“I’m so sorry. I should have never asked you to do that. What happened? Are you OK?” (p192)

It’s a sign that Lockwood does care about her wellbeing, despite his general distance from Lucy and the way he carries himself, which is as a figure of authority, and more importantly, as Lucy’s employer.

Seriously. We like to joke in this fandom that Lucy is too wrapped up in her own head thinking that Lockwood is out of her league to notice that he actually likes her. But reading the books again with detailed notes, I think Lucy’s impression is actually accurate.

In fact, writing this up sparked a memory of reading TSS for the first time (prior to the release of TWS), I remember thinking there wasn’t going to be a romance between Lucy and Lockwood. I couldn’t articulate it fully at the time, but I imagine it was because of how much older Lockwood seemed and how much control her asserts over her behaviour, combined with the way early book Lucy (to borrow Holly’s words from THB) “can’t say no” to Lockwood.

It is only by the end of TSS, does Lockwood finally say to her:

“I trust your Talent and your judgement and I’m very proud to have you on my team. OK? So stop worrying about the past!” (p436)

It’s still a tad condescending (think: praise from kindergarten teacher) but it’s a momentous occasion because as shown, prior to the Combe Carey Hall case, Lockwood seems to respect and trust her very little. This bookend leads nicely into their growing dynamic in TWS.

THE WHISPERING SKULL

Lucy, Lockwood and the skull in Bickerstaff’s manor:

By The Whispering Skull, Lucy and Lockwood’s relationship has evolved (which would make sense given the 6 months between books 1 and 2) and consequently the way they conflict has too. However, they still don’t ever reach the level of direct conflict they do in the show. Take what I consider to be Lucy’s biggest upset at Lockwood in the first 2 books:

On page 258, Lucy says:

 “Forget it! What happened to us treading carefully, Lockwood? I’ve a good mind to go back home!”

Lockwood begs her to reconsider. Lucy remains angry. She says:

“You’re taking me for granted. Me and this house.”

However, it should be noted that although she mentions Lockwood by name, she’s actually angry at both Lockwood and George (yup, he’s there too). She calls them “both mad” for expecting her to agree to their scheme. She then stalks away from them in a rage, leaving “the others” (not just Lockwood) to follow.

In short, her anger isn’t directed at any particular trait of Lockwood’s (such as recklessness or foolhardiness), but rather at having been duped by both George and him. Nevertheless, it shows that she’s become more comfortable at expressing her anger in general by this point.

Lockwood’s door on the landing

As in the show, after the skull tells Lucy about Lockwood’s door, she confronts him about it.

In the show, after Lucy brings it up, Lockwood responds by diverting the subject:

Lockwood: That is not just a nick. You need to get that looked at. Could be some toxins got into your blood.

Then:

Lockwood: You're not Marissa Fittes.

Lucy: Cause you can't handle being my Tom Rotwell? Second best?

(This response is OOFT and also VERY Show!Lucy imo)

Another difference: in the show, Lockwood clearly believes Lucy, but doesn’t want to admit that she might be talented, because he’s used to being the most powerful one.

In the books, Lockwood just flat-out doesn’t believe her:

Lockwood lowered his mug; he spoke flintily. “Yes, I know (the door). The one you can’t stop asking about.” (p116)

He also calls her a “prima donna” (lmao LOCKWOOD).

Here, again, Lucy responds a bit more huffily than she probably would have in TSS:

We stood there, glaring at each other. (p117)

Lucy defends George

I think this argument, from page 398, though minor, nicely summarises Lockwood’s general attitude in conflict.

“Lockwood, we’ve been so blind! He’s desperate to investigate it. He’s been obsessed with it all this time. And you just kept criticising him, slapping him down.”

Lockwood responds at first by doing what he typically does (justify, accuse):

“Yes of course I did! Because George is always like that!...It’s just how he is! We couldn’t possibly have known.”

But compared to the chains argument in TSS where he deflects until the end, moments later:

His shoulders slumped. “You really think he’s affected by the ghost?”

Perhaps it’s because of the imminent danger George is in, but this time he takes Lucy’s anger seriously. Unlike the chains argument from the beginning of TSS, he doesn’t put on airs or “give permission” to Lucy when he senses he’s in the wrong. This way, they work together to prepare to get George back.

PART 3: BOOKS: THOUGHTS

“Wait,” you say, “Doesn’t this just prove that the show is like the books? Sure, it might have skipped that weird employer/employee stage from TSS, but it at least follows their relationship in TWS well, right?”

To this I say, yes, but also no. We need to take into account the role the arguments play in both mediums.

In the books, since Lucy is a very personal narrator, the arguments are a good way of showing the Locklyle relationship unmarked by her own thoughts. Although Lucy is quite inaccurate at judging what people feel and think (see: Holly), she’s not the kind of unreliable narrator that makes up things people say or do.

In the show, since we don’t get to see Lucy’s internal monologue; the arguments are instead used to show how Lucy feels. To that end, I can understand why they made her more direct/in touch with her emotions during them – if she didn’t say anything, the audience probably wouldn’t know.

SO: to get a full picture of her relationship with Lockwood, we need to examine both her acts AND her internal feelings.

What does Lucy feel in the show?

In the show, although Lucy does like Lockwood, she hates (or at least is troubled by) the following: he’s reckless, he’s (over) confident, he’s arrogant and loves the spotlight. But her two primary issues with his character seem to be:

His death-seeking nature:

“What does any of it mean if we end up stabbed or dead at the bottom of the Thames with nobody left to care?“ / “To be honest, the bottom of the Thames used to be a far more appealing place to be.”(Ep 8)

His distance/mystery:

“You might be able to turn your feelings on and off like a tap, but I am drowning here, Lockwood.” (Ep 2)

“At the centre of you is just a…” “A what? A cold, dead heart of stone?” “Yeah, maybe. But who knows, though? 'Cause you don't actually show anyone.” (Ep 7)

Is this the case in the books?

Nope. Not at all. This is the absolute biggest difference between Show!Locklyle and Book!Locklyle.

Lucy has very little to say about Lockwood’s general recklessness because, well, she is reckless too (this is the case in the show as well – makes her look just a little bit like a hypocrite).

In regards to his death-seeking nature: Lucy doesn’t even pick up on it until the Skull of all people points it out, and that is definitely much further along than in TSS and TWS.

But why doesn’t she see these signs? It ties back to how Lucy feels about Lockwood’s distance/mystery in TSS and TWS which is, well: she loves it.

Show!Lucy can’t stand Lockwood hiding things from her and running off madly towards “any old mystery”, and that’s what makes her a good grounding force for Lockwood there. 

Book!Lucy fully drinks the Lockwood kool-aid and buys into his grand myth.

From the very outset, Lucy immediately likes Lockwood. Unlike Show!Lucy who compares him negatively with the people “back home”, Book!Lucy thinks:

“Lockwood, I already liked. He seemed a world away from the remote and treacherous Agent Jacobs; his zest and personal commitment were clear. Here was someone I felt I could follow, someone perhaps to trust.” (TSS, p 112)

We also get Lucy’s opinion of Lockwood “throwing himself” into missions the very first full day she joins:

“Vigorous and energetic, eager to throw himself into each new mystery; a boy who was clearly never happier than when walking into a haunted room, his hand resting lightly on his sword hilt…It already pleased me to think of walking into darkness with Lockwood at my side.” (TSS, p 127)

She starts buying the “Lockwood narrative” very quickly too. When Lockwood says:

‘This will be one of the three most successful agencies in London…And you can be a part of that, Lucy. I think you’re good, and I’m glad you’re here.’ (TSS 129)

Lucy thinks:

“You can bet my face was flushed right then – it was a special triple-combo of embarrassment at being found out, pleasure at his flattery and excitement at his spoken dreams.” (TSS 129)

We see her continued fall into Lockwood’s all-consuming orbit on the next page:

“For a moment, as he said this, it all made perfect sense…when he smiled like that it was hard not to agree with him.” (p 130)

Contrast this to the show, where instead she cooly responds, “Thank you,” then immediately asks: “How do I know you’re good enough for me?” (Ep 1)

Show!Lucy clearly isn’t buying it from the beginning, and continues to not buy it. We can see the difference after the Hope House case when Lucy is talking to George.

George: “Maybe if you'd been more interested before you went charging.”

Lucy: “That was Lockwood's decision. I've only just started. What am I supposed to say to him?” (Ep 2)

George: “You're meant to say no. You have to, or you'll make him worse.”

George is another character who works well to contextualise Lucy’s behaviour towards Lockwood. In the show, George sees Lucy as someone capable of reigning Lockwood in. Whereas in the books, he sees Lucy as equally at fault for being reckless.

“When is going to be the time? When you and Lockwood are both dead, maybe? When I open the door one night and see the two of you hovering beyond the iron line?...All you and Lockwood care about is going out and snuffing Sources, as quickly as you can! ” (TSS, p 139-140)

Rather than deflect blame onto Lockwood as she does in the show, she says:

“Because that’s what makes our money, George!...If you were less obsessed with it, we’d have done twice as many cases in the last few months…We waited all afternoon for you.” (TSS, p140)

The “makes our money” line sounds a lot like something that would come out of Lockwood’s mouth, and makes me wonder whether she’s parroting something he said at this stage. Conjecture aside, it shows the reader that Lucy is firmly on Lockwood’s side – as established, Lucy “never says no” to Lockwood, and everyone else knows it.

I suspect part of the reason this continues for so long is because Lockwood never is too approving of Lucy, which causes Lucy to scrabble for the rare moments of his approval.

“Moments before, he’d been promising to incinerate the locket. Now it was the key to all our troubles. Moments before, he’d been giving me a rollocking; now I was the apple of his eye. This was the way it was with Lockwood. His shifts were sometimes so sudden that they took your breath away, but his energy and enthusiasm were always impossible to resist.” (TSS, p 190)

“As usual, the full warmth of his approval made me feel a little flushed.“ (p TWS, 108)

Although by TWS Lucy is far more comfortable with Lockwood to his face, she can’t help but put him on a pedestal at the back of her mind, which marks the remaining difference between the show and the books.

“One full year after my arrival at the agency, the unrevealed details of my employer’s early life remained an important part of his mystery and fascination.” (TWS, p 40)

Even George calls her out on it:

“Oh, come on. You love all that mystery about him. Just like you love that pensive, far-off look he does sometimes.” (TWS, p 55)

Putting aside the “haha Lucy has an obvious crush on Lockwood” part, what’s interesting is that George specifically hones in on Lucy enjoying the “mystery” of Lockwood – although she does want to find out what’s behind the door, she also is drawn to, rather than repelled by (unlike Show!Lucy) the part of him that keeps things hidden. Her encounter with the Fetch in THB shows her precisely what is underneath that mysterious facade of Lockwood’s, and that (combined with Holly) is what, I think, finally scares her out of her idolatry.

As for Lockwood, we can only guess at his thoughts in the book, but we do know that he’s far less open than he is in the show. It is George who reveals to Lucy that Lockwood’s parents are probably dead (TSS, 114).

Lockwood only really brings up his parents (and quickly moves on to other matters) at the END of The Hollow Boy (p 391).

I think he makes a concerted effort to act as Lucy’s employer, to the extent that he hardly asks about or takes an interest in her personal life at all. Compare the line in the show where Lockwood says:

“Interesting outfit, Luce. Didn't have you down as a fan of unicorns. Or rainbows.”

To the book, where not only does Lockwood never comment on Lucy’s appearance, that line is a callback to a line said by George: 

“Ooh, Lucy – I’ve never seen you wearing that.” (TSS, p175)

In fact, I’d maybe even go so far to say that the show has snatched bits from George’s relationship with Lockwood and Lucy respectively and repurposed into Locklyle dynamics [see: George worrying about Lockwood’s recklessness, George upset at being treated as an asset (TWS, p107)].

This isn't to say that he doesn't care about them: he very clearly does and it is most clear in moments of crisis. But Lockwood is such a unique character, plus a known Stepford Smiler, and so "typical" signs of feelings of happiness (smiling at Lucy etc) shouldn't be taken at face value when trying to ascertain how he feels – and this is true until THB.

I don’t want people to think I’m cherry picking moments of tension between Lucy and Lockwood to make a point here. Once again, Lockwood does care about Lucy. When Lucy isn’t caught up in her Lockwood-filter, and when Lockwood isn’t preoccupied with his role as THE Anthony Lockwood, they share plenty of moments where they joke, laugh and generally act like teens, which the show captured just fine.

But those moments of cheeriness belie a narrative backbone that is very different. Lucy in the books is just 14 years old, and she’s looking for a (metaphorical!!!) “grown up” mentor after losing her father and being betrayed by Jacobs. Meanwhile, Lockwood is trying his best to shut the door on his childhood and act wiser than his years.

Thus when they meet, Lockwood just happens to be playing that authority figure Lucy thinks she needs (but we know she doesn’t!), and is only happy to oblige by continuing to play that role until slowly Lucy (and George) start breaking down his guard.

TLDR;

Show!Locklyle has a far more balanced dynamic than Book!Locklyle, which is objectively pretty “boss and employee”. Perhaps controversially, I don’t think Lockwood felt anything other than general workplace fondness/friendship for Lucy for most of TSS (at least until Combe Carey Hall).

Most importantly: Lucy in the show hates and is hurt by Lockwood’s secrecy, but Book!Lucy fawns over the very shadow consuming his soul – that is, until her rather rude awakening at the end of THB.

The ramifications of these changes have also spilled onto the characters. Lucy in the show comes off as more strong-minded, practical and confident, whereas book Lucy seems tougher, more of a tsundere (ye) and more love-starved. Lockwood in the show is the same attention-hungry “politician”, but more sincere, troubled and subdued. Whereas Lockwood in the books is crueller (remember that time he threatened to shut a kid in a coffin?), flashier, more competent and a huge brat (affectionate).

Which Locklyle is better is a matter of personal taste. In the show there’s arguably more dramatic tension, and the relationship is more tender/romantic and caring overall. But I think there’s something to be said for how unique Lucy and Lockwood’s dynamic is in the books, and the very carefully written unfurling that takes them to the end of TEG.

Either way, I hope I’ve convinced any readers of this giant word vomit that the show and book dynamics are two very separate beasts.

Agree? Disagree? Found it interesting? Hate my guts? Let me know what you think!!!

Till next time!

[monstrousproductions]

Ace rep in Monstrous Agonies!

Monstrous Agonies may be deservedly famed for its monsterfucking, but what if you're more in the mood for monster cuddling? Monster hand-holding? Painting miniatures with your monster while you listen to a podcast together?

Have no fear - there's plenty of asexual and aromantic rep to be found in Monstrous Agonies too! Here are four big ace moments in the show so far, with quotes from the transcripts.

You can listen to Monstrous Agonies wherever you get your podcasts, or check out monstrousagonies.co.uk to listen online and for full transcripts for every episode!

Episode Twenty One - Love in the Ace-pocalypse

The first time a character describes themselves as something akin to asexual is an admittedly blink-and-you'll miss it moment in Episode Twenty One, during a letter from someone worried the relationship that seemed so promising during the apocalypse now seems to have stalled a little...

I don't mean sex. Well, I don't not mean sex. I mean, look, I don't even know if he- Personally, I can take it or leave it, but- [sighs] I just thought there'd be something, alright? Something different.

It's a small enough mention, but a gentle acknowledgement that sex is not actually what makes a relationship special! There's also a little easter egg in this episode for fans of a certain book/TV show popular on tunglr dot com, if I tell you that this letter, which mentions wielding a sword at the apocalypse-averting showdown, was tagged in the planning document as "ethereal/occult"... 😇😈

Episode Twenty Eight - Human Juice Box

The first unambigious, canonical declaration by a character of their asexual identity comes from a letter-writer affectionately known as Human Juice Box, with a question about how to make their queerplatonic partner feel more comfortable with the inherent intimacy of drinking another person's blood directly from their chewy meaty neck.

We already hold hands and cuddle and sometimes even shower together. But because neither of us intended it as romantic or sexual I've never considered it to be!

The letter-writer describes themselves as aromantic but not asexual, while their partner is asexual but not aromantic, and their letter explores what physical closeness and intimacy look like when sex is off the table. It also includes some fun world-building about NHS blood-bank deliveries for persons of haematophagic background 🧛

Episode Forty One - Mothman says Ace Rights!

Monstrous Agonies is largely made up of listener submissions, with some people writing in to riff off previous episodes and continue their ideas. Episode Forty One was one of these, where the in-universe letter made mention of hearing about QPRs on the radio, and having their interest piqued.

You're not alone in wanting intimacy without sex, devotion without romance.

Let this be a reminder to us all about the importance of being open about the diversity of sexual and romantic identities. Hearing the writer of Episode Twenty Eight talking about their relationship reassured this reclusive creature (I'm not saying it's Mothman but it's totally Mothman) that they can be non-monogamous and sex-repulsed, and still be as loved and cherished as they deserve 💖

Episode Fifty - Sex-Worker Succubus

For this letter-writer, sex itself wasn't the problem. As a sex worker who happened to be a succubus, they could see how useful sex could be as a way for their clients to blow off steam, while bringing in a steady income and energy source. But they weren't interested in doing it when they were off the clock - something their romantic partners could struggle to understand.

Yes, I feed on sexual energy; yes, I have sex for a living; yes, I enjoy sex. And no, I don't want to have sex with you, my romantic partner.

They're feeling the pressure of other people's expectations about them, both as a sex-worker and as a succubus. But as long as they stay true to themselves and communicate their needs, they're sure to find someone who can love them and celebrate them exactly as they are.

These are just four canonical mentions of aspec identities in the show - but as always, every character is up for interpretation! Who are your aspec headcanons? Is there anyone I missed? Does the existence of asexual vampires problematise the ace community's use of garlic bread-based humour? Let me know! 🖤💚🤍💜

[jasntodds]

COMPLETED - May 26, 2023

Summary:

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people's hearts?❞

You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It's been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mentions of being tortured, mentions of being held captive, mentions of abuse, violence (not anything more graphic than what’s in the show), canon violence, mentions of death, various injuries (nothing in great detail), bruises, blood, lots of angst and smartass teenagers, hurt/comfort, some anxiety, ptsd, hints of depression (canon), mentions of Batman villains being Batman villains, nightmares, some paranoia, discussions about previous homelessness, drug mentions, canon character death(s)? (if you know, you know), dick is very exhausted from dealing with teenagers who never listen to him, Titans timelines making 0 sense so I’m fixing it, season 2 (this book) takes place in 2019 and season 2 also takes place over a few months instead of like a week, little bit of a love triangle but there’s no drama about it (it wasn't supposed to be but the series is writing itself and i'm along for the ride), season 2 Titans spoilers

A/N: Titans made me think about all the angst I could do and I decided I should write it. This takes place through season 2 (first few chapters are between episode 1 and episode 2). Trust me, the Gar x reader and Jason x reader, will make sense. I have a plan. This is the most thought-out fic I have literally ever done. I have it planned all the way through season 3 lol

tag list | playlist | full masterlist

↳ status: COMPLETED - May 26, 2023

Chapters:

Chapter 1 - Titans Tower Chapter 2 - Fossilized Memories Chapter 3 - Show Me Yours, I’ll Show You Mine Chapter 4 - Nightmare Chapter 5 - Late Nights In The Sparring Room Chapter 6 - Batsons Chapter 7 -If It’s Too Much To Carry Chapter 8 - the Morning After Chapter 9 - Rose Chapter 10  - Ghosts Chapter 11 - Deathstroke Chapter 12 - Put It On Me Chapter 13 - Shared Trauma Chapter 14 - Bruce Wayne Chapter 15 - Atonement  Chapter 16 - Fallen/E.L._.O Chapter 17  - Nightwing

Book 2 Masterlist

Fic Inspired Works:

Gar Logan moodboard Jason Todd moodboard Playlist Post

OC Versions

AO3 Wattpad FFN

[deathsbestgirl]

so i recently rewatched all things, what are your thoughts on that episode?

OOF. i love everything about all things.

i've written about it a few times, i think mostly in relation to other episodes, if you go through my all things tag, you'll find them along with a few from other people.

mostly, i love that this episode is as much about faith as so many others. but scully branches out -- i know some others take issue with this for whatever reasons, but i think it's a testament to scully's open mind and her view & respect for religion/faith. in my mind, it's like in the alchemist by paulo coelho (sorry i am so annoying about this book lol) where the main character views other religions as fake and by the end, god & allah are one in the same. i think that's a journey or belief that makes complete sense for scully.

so i put all things on just for this after annoying my wife & roomie all day with season two and three lol (hence one breath & paper clip mentions)

opening voiceover:

Time passes in moments ... moments which, rushing past define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path, to see the reasons why all things happen, to consider whether the path we take in life is our own making or simply one into which we drift with eyes closed.

But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment before it passes? Might we then see the endless forks in the road that have shaped a life? And, seeing those choices, choose another path?

i love fate vs choice in this show. i just watched paper clip where mulder tells scully "i don't think this about justice...i think it's about fate" -- about these terrible losses they've suffered and where it's going to lead them. these things that have been done to them, happened to them against their will. it's something they consistently struggle with. in christmas carol, scully dreams a memory with melissa where scully tells her "i don't believe in fate. i believe we make our own path." so much of this conversation is echoed back in this episode. scully has every word spoken by her favorite people running through her mind, waiting to understand and pull them out to share with mulder. she does it with ahab, mulder and melissa. like in paper hearts, scully quotes mulder himself back to him about dreams. here, she's contemplating fate & choices. the paths she may have walked if she chose differently, and what her choices mean. it isn't the life her parents would have chosen for her, and in some ways, it is not the life she wanted, but they were always the choices she was going to make.

as much i love the whole episode, the first and last scenes are the most impactful to me, at least character and relationship wise. everything between is how she finally got there, how she finally embraced the lesson melissa tried to instill her. (it also reminds me of the blessing way, when melissa urges scullys to try regression therapy. scully goes, but she flees and doesn't go back until patient x/the red and the black. when mulder is struggling with his own path, and she can't move forward with him without her memories. after cancer, after emily. scully learns this lesson, but from both melissa & mulder. i love that it's when mulder is backtracking. it's this balance game they play because their roles are necessary, and they are two sides of the same coin. yin and yang.)

there's also something to do every time the words "all things" are used. it's in scully's opening voice over, and caollenn says it to scully when she goes to pick up the files for mulder.

There is a greater intelligence in all things. Accidents-- or near accidents-- often remind us that we need to keep our mind open to the lessons it gives.

colleen feels like someone melissa sent to scully. the blonde woman guiding scully, to colleen, to mulder, to an open mind & other faiths.

scully is initially dismissive of colleen's work, but something about colleen's words stuck with her and she goes back. colleen talks about choices and being true to yourself and "the signs along the way."

what i love is i believe scully actually did this, and this episode is kind of about realizing that? she went to med school because it felt right, and when it started to feel wrong, she joined the fbi because that's what her entire being was telling her. it may have looked & seemed & felt wrong to others, but as melissa tells her, it isn't their life. scully is the one who has to live the path she chose. struggling with our choices is a normal part of life and scully's have had some big consequences for her and her loved ones. but what other choice could she make? they were right for her, and she can't control everything. she couldn't have stopped anything because it was never her fault. something both her & mulder grapple with.

i love when she tells daniel he needs to deal with his choices. she didn't make him do anything, in fact she left because it's what she believed was right. he decided to blow up his family and couldn't deal with the ways he hurt them (familiar, isn't it? i think a running theme in this show).

scully has her vision in a buddhist temple, as mulder puts it, she talks to god and it leads her down an alternative path to help daniel, thanks to her conversation with colleen. and colleen actually helps connect with her someone. i absolutely adore this scene because it mirrors melissa & mulder meeting in one breath. mulder struggled with melissa's beliefs, even as they're similar in some ways. the same as scully struggles with them, similar to the ways scully & mulder struggle with each other's beliefs (or maybe, more accurately, when they step out of their skeptic/believer roles).

it's interesting to me, how daniel seems to belittle anything that isn't medicine in helping someone heal. it doesn't seem to reflect scully's beliefs as a doctor. "imagine a miracle and you're halfway there." something about a commitment to quality of life and honoring the person, not just extending life. it's a gift she gives to daniel, this understanding of life and people. something he wasn't able to extend to her. respect for choice. something mulder & scully always honor for the other. always validating, always helping in any way they can. always supportive even if they don't agree. always listening despite disagreement or disbelief. always taking the other seriously as no one else has ever done for them.

ultimately, mulder comes looking for scully and they go back to his place to drink some tea and talk about her revelations. to philosophize about choice and fate, and how maybe it's kind of the same thing. they had choice, but there was always only one choice.

[bangtannism]

this space is filled with jm solos and people who give too much thought to jm solo narratives

which is why i'm confused that jk biased jkkers (as that anon said even ones that are critical and weird towards jimin) were also upset with the way jk was acting. if it was just jm biased jkkers and solos, i could see it as people using jk for a ship and not liking/supporting him if he steps out of that "perfect boyfriend" and "jm's caretaker" narrative that isn't true or at least isn't ALL he is, but JK BIASED twisting his intentions and actions? that's just crazy....

idk if it's people now seeing jikook (and more so jk) outside of edits and fics or just taekook interacting, but it needs to stop before people become even worse jk (and tae/taekook) antis

i'd love to look at the jikook tag after a ays episode without being made to feel like i'm insane or "supporting bullying and abuse" 😭

there's a few things going on here.

like i mentioned, jm solo narratives permeate this part of fandom. it sucks, but it is what it is, and unfortunately these people tend to flock together, creating an echo chamber that can look to those outside of it as a popular opinion or consensus. the infantilizing of jm is not only maddening, but deeply disrespectful, and if these people really loved him, they wouldn't be doing it.

people are far too impressionable. this goes hand in hand with the first point, but people are swayed extremely easily and the more they see the same sort of opinion, the more they convince themself that the opinion is right. when ays episode 1 first dropped, the first few hours were peaceful and it was clear that the majority of people came away with a positive feeling. once a couple of negative opinions got posted, people started to latch onto that negativity, letting other people's feelings tarnish their experience, and soon it was all over the tag. jk was being weird, distant, uncaring, mean, etc.

the seedier people in this fandom feel vindicated whenever someone says some nasty opinion about a member/ship they dislike and it prompts them to get louder. think about how much more outspoken bigots get when they think they're around like minded people. every single time a shitty take gets posted, be that an original post or an anon message, more people feel that it's okay to also be shitty. this happened bad when tae was announced to be joining jkk in jeju. the tae antis were suddenly all over the damn tag like cockroaches. 🥾🪳

i do think there is a lot of people who are being forced to contend with the fact that jkk are not story book characters living a sacharrine sweet perfect fantasy life where all they do is cuddle and sing each other's praises. sorry to break it to these people (i'm not), but jm and jk are very real people who are a lot more complex than that. they are going to tease and joke and complain and argue and all the rest of the stuff that every other person does. they are also not going to be in the same mood 24/7 and that too is going to affect how they behave and interact. there is nothing concerning about how jkk (or vmk) have interacted on ays so far, let alone something that constitutes the label of abuse. that accusation actually pissed me off beyond belief, because abuse isn't a fucking term to throw around over someone being jokingly sprayed with water.

my best advice to anyone at this point is to use that block button freely and curate a good fandom space for yourself and others. and also just to remember that vmk love each other dearly and no amount of sad internet hate is going to change their reality.

[panelshowsource]

UPDATES: 📖books📖 on googledrive, panelist collection additions, misc. uploads

hello again everyone :) apologies for the long post incoming, but there is some fun new content on the googledrive i'd like to share!

—

with quite a few books coming out and quite a few requests in my inbox for some comedians' writing, i've put most of my personal ebook & audiobook collection on google drive!

you can find the link on the secondary masterpost here under books :)

on drive, you'll be able to browse by author or by book type:

some books are available in both formats while others are ebook or audiobook only. i renamed all of the files so they should show up chronologically per author + audiobook files names will also show who is narrating:

(bob & sally💙)

note: nearly all of the ebooks are in epub format and nearly all of the audiobooks are in m4b format, both of which will automatically open in apple books, google play books, adobe digital, calibre, etc. — whatever is default on your device. you shouldn't have any issues with these files, but in case you do you can use the following website to convert the epub to pdf or m4b to mp3 (totally free and very fast!)

it's not a very big collection — about 50 books — but hopefully this will help anyone who wants to take a further plunge into their fave comedians :) enjoy!

—

as i mentioned earlier this month, i started rolling out panelist "collection" folders, which include not only the panel show episodes someone has appeared on but also deeper cuts and content like radio sitcoms/dramas, non-panel show light entertainment, late night appearances, podcasts, audiobooks, and more!

while i don't plan to upload every last piece of content in the world to a panelist's collection, i know how convenient it would be if nearly everything was in one place, so along with the files you'll find in a folder there is also a docx file with additional working links:

even though these collections still aren't "complete", at least they're closer to complete lol i have added these docs for alex horne, joe wilkinson, john kearns, and vcm! i'll continue adding to these docs when i can

i got requests for collections for david & victoria, mike wozniak, and nish, so i'll keep working on those!

—

new content on the masterposts:

new buzzcocks

new rhod gilbert's growing pains

no more jockeys — complete series

standup from frankie boyle & hal cruttenden

audiobook 'egg and soldiers' by damien trench (main character of in and out of the kitchen) (read by miles jupp)

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[kyouka-supremacy]

Btw - okay I wrote this in tags but perhaps it's relevant enough to give it its own post - BTW before the new episode comes out one thing that EXTREMELY pisses me off every time I see anyone mention it: stop stop STOP saying “the ada should have listened to Ranpo and not have taken the job!!” “The ada is so stupid for not listening to Ranpo when they know he's always right!!”. Seriously stop!!!!!!!

I know Ranpo is always right but please understand that they had no choice!!!! What were they supposed to do, go “sorry for your hostages that are set to be executed nothing we can do about it” like??????? No!!! They could have never said that!!!!!! You know what, this is the same as the Orpheus situation. Sometimes characters are doomed by the narrative with nothing they can do about it!!!!! Sometimes there's not a way to escape the wrong choice!!!!!!!! And it's especially important to notice that when reading a series with a literal MAGICAL BOOK THAT REWRITES REALITY YOU. KNOW.

Orpheus could not NOT turn around, because that would have meant he didn't love Eurydice as much as he did! He was always doomed to turn around! There's no other way the story could have gone! The agency members could have never not picked the job, because then they wouldn't be the good guys, the group who helps people, but that's who they are! They were always doomed to pick the job! They were meant for their downfall! There's no other way the story could have gone!

I swear to God understanding this is essential to pick the later motif of the arc! You won't be able to enjoy it as much if you are always able to look back and say “ah but they could have just listened to Ranpo”. They couldn't!!!!!!!

[beauty-and-passion]

Plans for the summer (and the winter)

Hello, everyone.

I hope the weather in your place is nice, your days are long and you are healthy and relaxed.

I am here to give you an update on all the plans I had and the ones that came out in the meantime.

------

TMA

The reactions will still go on, don't worry. I started season 3 and I plan to keep them going until the end. Then I will start The Magnus Protocol too, of course.

I'm in no hurry with this series: I like to keep it going slowly and enjoy it ten episodes at a time until the end. So the updates will keep going during summer, winter and maybe up to the next year. Just keep expecting them, I definitely won't drop the series. I want to know how it will end.

------

CCCC

This project got my attention and I want to talk more about it. In the last ask I got, I was proposing two ideas:

a very concise analysis of all the songs of Volume 1, made mostly of resumes of the obvious parts, a few considerations and me approving every time these characters show how badass they are.

a short post about how differently the embodiment of Heart and Mind are portrayed here and in Sanders Sides.

The survey is here, and you're still free to vote (if you haven't already). Honestly, I would love to write these posts alternating them with TMA/others, so you won't see just one topic, but some nice variety. Just vote and let me know which idea do you like the most - or if you want me to do them both! I'm open to do that too.

------

LORE OLYMPUS

In my last post, I said I would write a new one for when the series is over.

Well, the series is over. And my post won't be kind, nor long: I already talked about all the mistakes of the series, so all that's left is me making fun of its stupid ideas and a finale that was the epitome of "how NOT to write a story".

It will be the first post to come out after this recap, so you'll have it very soon.

------

EPIC THE MUSICAL

I just found out that The Thunder Saga will be released on July 4th, bless Jorge Rivera-Herrans for his incredible speed and his creativity. This man makes bops as if nothing, his vision is crystal clear and I respect him for that.

I didn't listen to any snippets and didn't look for any spoiler, because I want to be surprised by the songs themselves: so, once they're out, I will definitely write a post about them in a couple days.

------

THE BOOK OF BILL

Once it's out and I will get it (probably from August 2nd, since that's the delivery day on my Amazon), I will become a mess and talk about it endlessly, so I apologize in advance for who I will become.

------

A MANGA I MENTIONED

Eons ago, I said there was a manga I wanted to talk about. Well, that manga is finished. But I have to read it from the beginning, before talking about it. And right now, I don't really feel like it.

For now, I will keep this in the back. Maybe this winter (or even next year), I will talk about it.

------

SANDERS SIDES

I am sorry to say that I do not have plans for SaSi for now - well, except for hte post in connection with CCCC. Mr. Sanders is giving us nothing, so there's nothing really new I can write.

But that doesn't mean we can't talk. On the contrary, you can still send me asks and/or tag me in some posts and we can have a nice chat about anything, from details of the series to criticism. Having nothing new doesn't mean we can't have fun our way.

------

WHAT ELSE?

Those are my plans for now, but who knows what else will come in a couple months? I wasn't expecting CCCC and it came, it saw and it conquered without expecting it. So... who knows? Maybe in a couple months, I will get another suggestion and my plans will change again. I'm open to possible new things to enjoy.

As always, thank you all for sticking with me, thank you for your asks, comments, reblogs, likes and suggestions. Every feedback is wonderful and I am extremely grateful for it.

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @mudpuddlenl @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders​  @idontreallyknow24​  @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake​  @hereissananxiousmess​  @purplebronzeandblue​  @cynicalandsarcastic​ ​@lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire​ 

@riseofthewerewolf​ @rosesandlove44​​  @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan​ @arya-skywalker  @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly @reesiereads @dracayd-universe​ @starlightnyx​ @stubbornness-and-spite​ @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella  @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter  @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3 @the3rddenialist

[alligatorjesie]

*glances at the raging cunt who keeps posting harassment to this fandom's tags every month or so*

You know the last time I checked you're not a fucking reylo so beats the fuck out of us why you're up in our goddamn shit so often @watchingtheearthrise

Cait Corrain isn't active in this fandom. She's hardly a reylo, and if she's gonna act like that she's not fuckin' welcome here.

I think they may have wrote a few reylo fics a long time ago but they're not a big name writer and the fandom as a whole don't really know who the fuck this person is.

I've seen a few people online mention Cait's book is published reylo fanfiction but I can't find anything from the writer confirming it so we’re all just assuming it started out as a reylo fic.

Looking at it, it seems more like lore olympus fanfiction than reylo but again, until the author says otherwise we’re just assuming.

Cait did however talk a gullible friend into helping her sabotage other people's book reviews and when the lacky she coerced did it wrong because she didn't really explain her dastardly plan very well and the moment she realized how badly the 'friend' fucked up she threw that kid under the bus.

But even that shit is kinda sus because these timestamps don't fucking line up. This conversation looks doctored to a lot of people meaning the only person responsible for being a cunt here is cait and you @watchingtheearthrise.

The friend is mentioned to be a reylo but you can't really put much of the blame on them since they were just doing what their cool(shitty) published writer friend asked them to do, assuming this friend is even real.

Cait didn't get mad she did a bad thing. She got mad she did it poorly and got caught. Which speaks volumes about Cait.

You being here assuming the worst out of this fandom every time someone so much as sneezes without saying 'god bless you' speaks volumes about you @watchingtheearthrise.

Please for the love of fuck would you find a fucking hobby to pour this endless passion into.

You know something really fun that I've spent a lot of mental energy on over the years and has brought me great pride and joy is this Star Wars Episode 9 rewrite comic I've been working on.

Legit!

I got character sheets and new alien designs.

Most of the script is wrote out, I'm currently working on storyboards and page framing.

I'm only as far as I am because I have a life outside the computer and can't dedicate endless hours a pet project but it's got 2 of my favorite things in it:

A narratively cohesive continuation of The Last Jedi-

And furries.

Because fuckit why not it's my fucking comic.

You're welcome to laugh, and I know you will because you're a huge pile of shit, but doing this has been incredibly cathartic.

we live in a world were we have increasingly little control over basic shit in it. Media can feel like it wants to make money more than it cares about the story and character development and if I want media I’ll actually enjoy well goddamnit I guess I’ll make it myself.

I want it to be good. I want the salt of the fact a random furry wrote and created a better Star Wars EP9 to burn. I think thats funny.

I personally didn't like EP9

(Notice how I dislike EP9 but don't go out of my way to harass people who like it @watchingtheearthrise?)

So I decided to just make my own. Instead of being asshole to people in a fandom who do like it.

(Notice what I'm doing there @watchingtheearthrise?)

I don't see you in here when the fandom does nice shit like donating a shit ton of money to Adam Driver's arts for the military foundation.

I didn't see you in here when Thea Guanzon, a southeast asian reylo's published book became a new york times bestseller.

I don't fucking see you pop in when the dedicated members of this fandom post art and stories and celebrate the thing they love.

Don't let a single person who is acting shitty color your entire opinion about a whole ass fandom man. God fucking knows if I took this approach with finnreys I would just assume all of them are huge pieces of shit because nine times out of ten the people posting anti hate to the reylo tag are finnreys.

But since I'm not a complete fucking dumbass Like Some People Here

I'm able to use some common fucking sense and see it's not the finnreys that are shit.

finnreys are fine.

It's just like... 4 unique people with a lot of extra accounts.

real fucking bold to comment on someone making extra accounts to do nefarious things online from someone who already does that.

I’m pretty fucking sure at least 6 of the antis I regularly come across in this tag Are Your Accounts @watchingtheearthrise. You admit to 2 extra ones you’ve used to harass people in this fandom in the past In Your Fucking Bio

( I love hate how you have reylos in your DNI but paradoxically will not stop posting to this fucking fandoms’s tag I swear to Jesus Fucking Chri-)

God fucking bless you @watchingtheearthrise I hope you find someone who helps you learn how to not be such a festering cunt.

I started out this post not even know who the fuck Cait Corrain is. I still don't give a fuck because shit people can go fuck off into oblivion for all the fucks I don't give but since some asshat antis can’t be fucked to do a goddamn second of research I guess much like that ep9 I'm rewriting I’ll just fucking do this too.

Cait's a reylo about as much as you @watchingtheearthrise and you’re both welcome to let the door hit y’all on the ass on the way out.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC!!!!! i hope u r havin a GOOD DAY!!! i came 2 tell u that a) i watched ep 18 of pd s2 and i feel like i lost all of my braincells. businessman vyncent you are SO fucking cringefail. “it’s time for my four o’clock piss” ????? they brought in tony from tony’s pizza as a lawyer. this was so fuckign dumb oh my lord. what even was that episode i think my brain leaked out of my ears!!!! this is a got damn sitcom!!!!!! i had to pause every few minutes because i felt like i was losing my mind. genuinely surprised i did not have an aneurysm through that whole mess it was so fucking funny and so fucking stupid <3 ALSO!! things from the episode that immediately made me think of u: the wiwi danny phantom parody at the beginning!! as soon as i heard the beginning of the theme song i was like “YOOOOO MAC GHOSTIEZONE MY FRIEND MAC GHOSTIEZONE PROBABLY WENT NUTS OVER THIS!!” also BRIEF GILLION TIDESTRIDER MENTION 🎉🎉🎉 charlie accidentally did the voice he does for gillion at some point in the episode and i was like!! that is mac’s fish guy!!!!! the he!!!

also. b) i heard. that in riptide. at some point in an episode. grizzly decided to write gay smut and have gillion read it. and i am too curious for my own good so i found the episode and the timestamp and watched it. head in hands. Grizzly What Is Wrong With You. THE THING IS IT WAS ACTUALLY LOWKEY WELL WRITTEN LIKE HE ACTUALLY CAPTURED THE FEELING OF READING EROTICA WRITTEN BACK IN LIKE THE 1800’S. I DONT FUCKING KNOW HOW HE WROTE THAT OR WHY. BUT I THINK IT ALTERED SOMETHING IN MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY IN A VERY STRANGE WAY. THAT IS NOT HIS FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT NO WAY IT IS HE HAS TO BE LYING. GRIZZLYPLAYS WHY DID YOU WRITE THIS. I DONT KNOW THE FULL CONTEXT ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LISTENED TO GILLION TIDESTRIDER READ GAY EROTICA AND THE TERM DARK PUCKERED HOLE WILL UNFORTUNATELY LIVE IN MY HEAD FOREVER

and c) THAT. ASIDE. lookit the lil guy i bought yesterday :3 he is a cat…….. BUT ALSO A SHARK!!!!

i wanna name him wiwi. not rly for william related purposes he just looks like an el wiwi. fuckin itty bitty thing!!!!!

anyway i’m gonna watch ep19 today <3 i hope ur havin a lovely day i am sending u one million hugs in the mail they’ll be there in five to ten business days

AHAAAA GOD THE HEIST EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING STUPID I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. THEYRE SUCH IDIOTS. CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GOT OUT OF THERE IN ONE PIECE. anyway . hi! u just met david how do you feel about david!!!!!! stupid idiot fell for businessman vyncent.

AHA I FORGOT THAT WAS THE ONE WITH THE DP INTRO. u know whats really funny. the first post in my pd tag is a clip of that intro. i saw that when i was about halfway through riptide and my immediate reaction to it was "oh god i can never watch prime defenders now. ill be too insufferable about it if they lean into the dp angle for the ghost boy" and. well. look at me now. funny enough i think the second post in my pd tag is a piece of mark winters fanart where i was like "man idk this guy yet but he looks cool" LITTLE DID I FUCKING KNOW. points at past me. his ass is clueless!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD. FUCK. YOU DONT EVENFUCKING KNOW. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW. THE EXTENT. AT WHICH GRIZZLY WROTE OLD MAN SMUT. THE FUCKING VISCERAL REACTION THAT CLIP HAD ON ME. I HAD TO TAKE OFF MY HEADPHONES A FEW TIMES. I WAS ON CALL WITH JONESY AND THEY WERE LIKE. no. no. coward. put your headphones back on and listen to dark puckered hole like a man. i hate it here. and the fact that it was gillion who read it OUT LOUD who is the like. EXPLICITLY ASEXUAL CHARACTER. extremely funny to me. peepaw getting down. god i love riptide it sucks so much this podcast is so unserious. theres no way this is grizzlys first time writing fanfiction WHY IS IT SO WELL WRITTEN. fuck!!!!!!!! fuck you for making me think about dark puckered hole. this is not a single occurrence btw there are MULTIPLE readings of this book. jay cannot leave gillion and chip alone for five minutes or gill will start reading the smut book out loud again.

I LOVE WIWI THE CAT ALSO.................... OH MAN..... LITTLE SHARK KITTY........ he looks squishable. activating my cuteness aggression i think i need to bite him.

[guardian-angle22]

2023 Character Wrapped

Thank you for the tag @welcometololaland & @heartstringsduet

From what I've gathered, the rules are just list your top 9 characters from the year? Right? I will put most of these under a cut to save the timeline.

#1. Paul Strickland

If anyone is surprised by my number one, you must be new here. I am the self declared number one paul stan and he IS the moment. he IS the year. and he IS the number 1 in my heart. I can't wait to bless everyone in the tag with more Paul sets during our collective rewatch in january.

#2. Henry from RWRB

Listen, I've left out the surnames cause who can keep track? especially since the book and movie have different ones lol. but I liked the book when I read it ages ago. I thought the film was a fun book to movie adaptation. and Nicholas Galitzine was the perfect Henry.

#3. The various tea dragons from the Tea Dragon Society series by K. O'Neill.

I read the 2nd book in this series this year: The Tea Dragon Festival. This series is just so lovely and cozy. It has dragons that grow tea and they're fucking adorable. LOOK AT THEM! (pictures are from this post in which K. O'Neill pairs each zodiac sign with a dragon!)

#4. Chidi Anagonye

2023 was the year I finally finished The Good Place. and Chidi... oh Chidi. I want to bundle him up and keep him and his anxiety safe in my pocket. but I also want to sit down and have a book club with him. and talk about how much better almond milk is. I bawled like a baby watching the finale episode.

#5. Mickey Milkovich

2023 was also the year I did a rewatch of Mickey's storyline from Shameless from the beginning and then got caught up on the seasons I never watched. The character growth in Mickey was so wonderful to revisit and Noel Fisher was one of the best things to happen to that show, fight me on it.

#6. Josie from Bottoms

If you haven't seen Bottoms yet... what are you doing with your life? it's a queer classic and it just came out. I don't make the rules its just true. and Ayo was fucking brilliant as Josie.

#7. TK Strand

TK will probably forever be somewhere on this kinda list. he's my fave little blorbo or whatever weird internet term we're using these days. 2023 wasn't my fave year for TK or Tarlos plots, that's for sure... but he was still his adorable, brave, strong self throughout it all.

#8. Anakin Skywalker

The return of my teen obsession: Hayden Christensen, everyone. He was great as Vader in the Obi-Wan show but this year coming back as Anakin... be still my heart. The flashback episode was some of my favorite star wars stuff in ages and wooo boy I loved getting to see live action clone wars Anakin.

#9. Garlic from the Garlic & the Vampire and Garlic & the Witch by Bree Paulson

I mean… look at her! a cute little anthropomorphic clove of garlic with anxiety. What’s not to love about her?

Some honorable mentions:

Judd Ryder. But specifically Judd Ryder holding this tiny espresso:

Paul’s pudding cups. May they find justice.

TK’s comfort bicep. Legend has it, he’s still clinging on at this very moment.

every other Nicholas Galitzine character that I binge watched after RWRB came out. particularly the one wearing this goofy outfit:

I don't know which mutuals have done this yet so I'm just gonna tag my sister: @drivenstardust and then @reasonandfaithinharmony because I said she needed to suffer with me ✌😜

[ikuzeminna]

Who are your top 5 favorite atla characters

This might surprise you, anon, but this is a difficult question for me. By the way, I hope you’re a Gundam Wing fan who noticed me in the ATLA tag and not someone from the ATLA fandom just asking me a question because boy, is this gonna be an introduction to my blog.

I can tell you my favorite character right off the bat, which is Toph. She’s cool, and badass, and sarcastic, and wise, and self-deprecating, and saving the day left and right, and just all around awesome. That is to say, she is a joy to watch and there isn’t a single scene in the series where I’m annoyed by her. What is also in stark contrast to Aang is her commitment to improving herself. Toph is introduced as one of the strongest benders in the series, but does that stop her from evolving? No. She confronts and masters her weaknesses, sandbending and metalbending, going so far as to invent the latter to do so. This is what keeps her from being an obnoxious Mary Sue, even though she can take down armies by herself; Toph earns her strength. Unlike a certain someone who is only the strongest because he has the glowy uber mode.

Number 2 would be Katara, who provides a very nice example of a rich and complex character, who also gets to have a very unique relationship with the former villain, Zuko. She gets a lot of really good writing, which is the reason I like her so much. The contrast between her Book 1 self and her Book 2 self and onward is also very interesting to observe, as we get to see what a healthy serving of self-confidence can do for Katara as a character and for her personality. She isn’t exactly different, but there is a noticeable level of maturity added with her mastery of waterbending. She also gets the most emotionally intense episodes. A Katara episode is always a good episode.

From here on though, it gets difficult.

Zuko is somewhere on the list of favorites, too, but only if I ignore the annoying parts, the greatest being the obsession with Iroh. I’m not gonna launch into a rant, because that would be a 20 pages long essay on its own, but know that no other character in the history of media has ever held my ire to the level Iroh does, not just on his own, but for the way he ruins other characters, too. Seeing him gets the same response from me the way mentioning the British Museum does to every culture the Brits looted.

Aside from that, one thing that has always gotten on my nerves with Zuko is how we see nothing of his supposed princely background. Running around and throwing temper tantrums to get his way is how a brat acts, not necessarily a prince. Weirdly, they get it right with Azula. You can tell from a mile away that she’s nobility. Zuko? Zuko oscillates between ridiculously crafty and effin’ annoying. There is only one tiny hint I can identify that speaks to a higher standing and that is the way he sits straight. Other than that, nothing. No impressive vocab or signs of higher education or flowery language or sense of perfection and finesse. So another point for bad writing.

I just need two more, right?

Hmm. I’m gonna cheat with those and pick Piandao and Ursa. lol

Piandao, because he is the poster boy for a proper master. He is insanely skilled and seemingly eccentric because he abhors over-inflated egos, being a humble and open-minded person. He teaches Sokka because of his own morality and conviction and seems like someone who genuinely wants to help people. He doesn’t troll people like Bumi, nor does he abandon his nephew to go on a glory crusade. He’s also not a drama queen like Jeong Jeong. He’s a good role model and should have been the sole leader of the White Lotus, seeing as his house is plastered with lotus symbols. And he never should have accepted Iroh and Pakku. >_>

Here is where I run out of truly favorite characters. Ursa is not so much a favorite as she is interesting to me because I’m digging the family dynamics the series hints at. One NATLA picked up, too. It’s not the abuse victim/hostage nonsense the comics threw at us, which is offensive beyond belief, but a wonderfully complex mess that, if added to correctly, can turn Ozai from a flat pancake into a fully rounded character while enriching Zuko and Azula, and provide a parallel to Katara’s and Sokka’s family, too. But I’m gonna spare everyone a lengthy explanation for this, as that could be another post on its own.

Suffice it to say that while Ursa looks like the angel to Ozai’s monster and the series, for whatever reason, tried to paint one bloodline as good while the other is eeevul, it’s her who killed Azulon. Give me all the gray characters.

This should answer your question, anon. Now to blather about the stuff you didn’t ask me for.

~Part deux~

As I said in the beginning, picking five favorite characters in ATLA is difficult for me because I don’t have that many characters I truly like. It’s not that I necessarily hate them, I just don’t care about most characters.

Like, I don’t care for Sokka. He's the comedic relief, okay, whatever. If he gets a moment of awesome, it feels unearned. Him being touted as a great leader makes me laugh since the series implies it’s because he’s suddenly the only one who can read a map. He’s horribly written. Everything is rushed, from his romance with Yue to his one-day mastery of swordsmanship. That crap takes years. Never mind him getting a super special awesome space sword that’s practically a lightsaber. So it’s not even his own skill?

Same thing with Suki. I’m not bothered by her character the way Sokka annoys me (I do, in fact, dislike him when the series over-inflates his worth) but she’s just not interesting enough for me to care about her. Her being tethered to Sokka does her no favors in my book either. If you remove every scene where she interacts with him, is there any screen time left for her?

Aang is a can of worms. I like goofy Book 1 Aang. I absolutely loathe Bryke’s self-insert Book 3 Aang. And don’t even get me started on the shipping. It’s like pairing kid Goku with teen Bulma. Just, no.

So do I like Ozai then? No. Unless I make him interesting, he’s boring. Azula started out very strong, but then fell apart because the show decided to strangle itself with binaries. She’s also incredibly isolated, having only pancakes and her brother in her orbit. Mai and Ty Lee are flat. Jet got killed off before he had the chance to develop layers. That leaves me liking blank slates like Kanna. Yes, I will prefer the stock character over the badly written, flat ones.

This may all sound like I don’t like the series or, at the very least, don’t enjoy it, but that’s not the case. I have plenty of episodes I watch and rewatch because it is a fun show and I don’t need to like all the characters to enjoy an episode’s story. Being flat or inconsistent doesn’t bother me when they can manage to be consistent for an episode at least. And the bending battles are cool to look at. The trouble starts when we take all the series into account because the wasted potential through shoddy writing becomes more apparent, especially towards the end.

When you compare the characters and their writing to the likes of the Gundam Wing cast –and now we swerve to my blog’s main theme– the difference couldn’t be more glaring. This blog is dedicated to one single series, with me writing meta upon meta, sometimes about the most minute detail in one of the first episodes because it’s a hint for something that happens after the series, in the movie following the show, because the level of care to get the characters not just consistent but also massively layered is utterly insane in this show. If you were to make a character relation sheet, you’d just end up connecting everyone because every character gets a unique dynamic with everyone else. And this series doesn’t even focus on the characters. It’s plot-driven. It’s about politics and war.

Ironically, I have a harder time picking a favorite episode in Wing than I would in ATLA because I enjoy the characters in their entirety, which is reflected in the entirety of the series. Wing is hard to watch because it’s not episodic. Some of the coolest moments happen without fanfare. But I’d have no problem listing five favorite characters. Duo at the top because he’s the best, hands down, then Relena, then Wufei, then- wait no, first Meilan, then Wufei. And then it’s a battle between Trowa and Noin, with Dorothy being close behind.