#this hit me in so many different feels. SO MANY. im a changed man because of this ask anon i am in your debt

[dustykneed]

Picture this; Bones holding Joanna, rocking her to sleep and the part in Beautiful Boy where it’s like “The monster's gone, He's on the run, And your daddy's here” is playing. :,)

Fatherhood gives you certain... skills. Coincidentally, this is also how Jim finds out that Bones sings.

:'))

[arolesbianism]

Guys why is rain world so good (<- rewatched some scenes and teared up on all of them)

[en-hazed]

collect my pages

PAIRING: slenderman!sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE / CW: this is kinda like scary? reader is alone in the woods so you can def guess what’s going on

WARNING: sunghoon doesn’t have some kind of age, so let’s say he’s like 100 years olds lmao, reader is 19, psychological horror (?) kinda, smut, dub-con, sunghoon is fucking big like in all meanings, tentacles, creampie, kissing, angst (?), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), petnames, praising, begging, dacriphilia, size kink, if i missed something i’ll edit this later. MINORS DNI.

A/N: this is purely based on the game and theories about slenderman (not on the movie), so i’m really sorry if there’s something that doesn’t really match the storyline :( also im not rlly good at writing smut

There was something that you found interesting and endearing about walking alone in the woods as a relief. You weren’t the kind of girl to spend much time with friends since you enjoyed more your alone time, even though you’ve heard some rumors about you in college that you were weird for such thing, but it’s not like you really cared, at all.

You never feared the dark as a little child, your mom did think there was something wrong with it since all of the kids usually are scared of it, but for you, it was different. You find comfort in it –somehow– but it wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

Today was one of those days where school ended a little late, and you decided to take a late walk to the woods that was near to where you lived. The feeling of the cold breeze hitting you felt like a kiss, even wearing your big puffy coat, you still could feel it.

Being by yourself had some advantages, such as spending as much time as you want to exploring the deep parts of the woods, looking at little details and also observing the pretty dark blue color in the sky. You always thought that there was something so beautiful about the woods, you didn’t know if it was the pretty trees, the fallen leaves on the ground or everything about it.

Roaming around, you found some weird looking note that was glued to the tree, as you were getting closer, you got goosebumps. You usually didn’t find things in the woods since no one really came here because it’s been kinda abandoned, so it made you feel really curious if somebody came before you and put things just for fun to scare people off.

But the note was really weird looking. Why did the note say “HELP ME” in such a creepy writing? Was there someone here following you all along pranking you?

You definitely felt followed, but that didn’t change the growing curiosity that you had wondering if there were more notes. Walking faster and careful looking through all the trees weren’t sufficient, you definitely needed some kind of flashlight, and lucky for you, you always carry one in your backpack.

Getting the flashlight, turning it on, you started looking for more information. You definitely thought that you looked kinda crazy running around the woods if somebody came by, but there was something so interesting about this that you just couldn’t let it go.

In the distance, you could see a new note attached to another tree, you rapidly went and took it, this one saying “CAN’T RUN”. Adrenaline was hell, you felt like you could explode, were all these notes some kind of puzzle that you needed to complete? How many of them are? Such thoughts were in your mind as you were trying to calm yourself while looking at the piece of paper with the word that has been written.

Taking both notes, you did not wanna lose them, so you put them both in your pocket, and resumed roaming around. You noticed there was some kind of strange road that led you to an ever bigger part of the woods, and also, to some new pages.

This time, there was some kind of tall, really tall man drawn on with some words, such as saying “NO” and “FOLLOWS”. Is this some kind of prank? You just couldn’t step out, you were kinda lost, you’ve never been this deep inside and now, it was kinda scaring you. Your phone didn’t have any kind of connection or signal around, so you were definitely fucked.

Taking this situation lightly wasn’t a great idea at all, you knew your mom was worried since you don’t last that much time outside that much. Anxiety was killing you at this point, what the hell was going on? Also, it was also getting really late, you took a little peak of you clock, and it was almost past midnight.

Running around was simply not helping, you felt like you were stuck in some fucked up maze that didn’t have any kind of exit. You wanted to scream, you really did, but you didn’t want people thinking that you were getting murdered or something. Starting to feel dizzy, everything was looping, feeling like you couldn’t get out was one of, if not, your biggest fear. Without noticing, you fell to the ground, your strength was gone, and your head was pounding.

More than 10 minutes passed since you were still in the ground, until you felt some kind of presence, the goosebumps coming back again. You were too far gone to even try to open your eyes, so if someone tried to kill right there, you didn’t care at that point.

The breeze was getting colder, creaking was louder, and there was something there with you, but you didn’t dare to look. Some steps were getting closer to you, and you almost started praying to God to help you out if he was even hearing your pleads.

Now you were crying, you were the one that started following all of those stupid notes going nowhere, and now you were stuck in the deep zone of the woods. After some minutes of thinking, you had the guts to speak up.

— Is somebody here? Anyone? Please, I swear I’m a good person, I won’t do anything to you, but please, I need a reply. — You stated, trying to look around in the dark, since you forgot where you put your flashlight and also, you lost your glasses.

Nothing, you did not receive some kind of reply, so now you were thinking if everything that’s happening is some kind of hallucination from your mind.

From the distance, you swear you saw something, like some big thing standing there, but you couldn’t even seem to confirm that since your poor eyesight wasn’t helping you at all. But that weird creature looking thing was getting closer this time, and you didn’t have that much space to move, so you had to act fast and start walking from there.

Looking back wasn’t something that you wanted to do, if you did that it was gonna be really scary knowing something was chasing you in the dark. But what you didn’t know, that tall white man could teleport if he wanted to, and now, he was right in front of you.

You froze, what was that? You starting looking up and down trying to figure out if it was human or not. He was wearing some kind of suit, his hands were so pale and white, his fingers were so long and his face, you couldn’t really recognize it. He did have some prominent facial features, such as his nose and eyebrows, and also his hair.

— Are you lost, little thing? Have you collected my pages? — He finally spoke, his voice was… something. Not really deep nor sharp, it was just unexplainable.

— I’m sorry, what? — You asked, pages? Why is that his first thought?

— My pages. They’re all attached to different trees. Have you collected them? — He added, getting a little more closer to you.

Oh, so the notes you were looking for, that now you know they aren’t pages, he was the one who attached them to the trees? Is he crazy or something?

— I lost them. I got lost here and when I ran, they kinda flew away from my pockets. I’m sorry, if you’re gonna kill me, go ahead. — You hung down your head, you were definitely cooked and also getting killed in the woods. How nice!

— Game over then. — He spoke lastly, you looked at him with now, more tears in your eyes. He gave you a smile, his fangs were now shown.

His cold hand went to your chin, making you look up to where his eyes were supposed to be, but you were looking at some faceless man. You got caught in his tentacles, putting you in the air and almost choking you by how tight he was taking you.

— Pl.. please don’t do a-anything.. I swear, I’ll do whatever you w..want! — You tried speaking, but your chest felt so heavy that it was almost impossible to.

— Well, actually I do want something from you, if you don’t wanna get killed. — He spoke, his voice was now kinda deeper than before and it was scarier. You could feel his gaze up and down around your body, as if it was scanning you.

— W-what is it? Please! Tell me! — You replied rapidly, gulping. You were in a situation that defined between you being alive or dead, so you were willing to do anything at this point.

You were feeling already anxious until you felt his could touch in your body, closing hard your eyes, you were psyching yourself up that everything that was happening it was all in your imagination. Tears were staining your face, your cheeks turning red and your makeup all messed up.

His cold tentacles were groping you, touching you everywhere while you were just crying. You couldn’t get out of his grip since he was way too strong and taller than you. He started undressing you, retiring your skirt and leaving your tights on. Was this some kind of kink he had?

— I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, looking like a scaredy cat, crying and without any kind of escape from me. — He said, smiling proudly, giggling. His big hands were taking your head, making you look at him. Somehow, he changed your position, using his tentacles to tie your feet, and also your hands together, that were now resting behind your back.

You felt how something cold was poking your now dampened panties, you were definitely scared but your body wasn’t feeling like that. You closed your eyes harshly, not wanting to see what was about to happen. The cold breeze was now feeling like if death was coming near you, not feeling like something safe.

With no further preparation, he pushed himself inside of you, feeling like your guts and tight cunt were being rearranged by his big member. You couldn’t stop yourself from whining and screaming out loud, you weren’t a virgin sure, but his cock felt like dying.

— Don’t be t-too harsh! P-please! — Trying to speak while he was pounding deeper and deeper inside you was tough and more like a challenge.

He tsked his long tongue in response, not really caring about you and going harder on you. One of his tentacles groping your boobs mercilessly, while the other ones were simply roaming around your body.

Changing your position, now in doggy style, he was going harshly and harder, your body was hurting and your were being treated like nothing but a sex doll. You felt your vision going blurry, your hearing going off and feeling extremely numb. You closed your eyes and that’s where you forgot about everything.

Waking up felt like a nightmare, your whole body felt sore, you were covered in cum and definitely felt how the hot liquid was slipping from your thighs. Trying to look for your glasses or any kind of clothing (since you were naked) looking around. That’s when you saw some random guy, weirdly dressed with a suit and also using some glasses, he was tall and pale.

— Are you okay? Do you need help? — That anonymous guy spoke, looking at you and then your whole body, smirking.

You couldn’t even speak at all, so you just nodded. He helped you get up, he somehow carried things in his pockets such as tissues, that he used on you, trying to get you clean.

Finishing by putting on your clothes, you patted all of your body, as if there were some kind of dirt (there was, everything was all covered in it). You looked again at that weird guy that happened to find you in such condition, what was he doing here?

— I’m Sunghoon, and I definitely can read your mind, I just happened to be here when I found you here all alone, covered in… Whatever that was, no need to thank me. — He finished saying, still smirking and looking at you as if he was scanning your whole body.

As a blink, he disappeared, nowhere to be found. There was some weird vibe coming from that guy that you couldn’t explain, but you felt like you already knew him.

What the fuck just happened to you? You for sure were having some kind of fucking overdose of some fucked up vivid dream, you will never be the same after this.

[critterbitter]

HELLO HI ID LIKE TO ASK WHAT PROGRAM AND BRUSHES YOU USE CUZ IM LITTERALY EXPLODING EVERYTIME I SEE YOUR ART

actually actually... *pulls out whole stack of paper*...I have. a FEW,, a good few,, questions to ask. they are not many I swear 😇

OK SO FIRST OF ALL HOW DO YOU DRAW SO FAST???? everyday I log onto Tumblr I always see something new from you and I get very very happy. But then I start to question my own existence because not even I CAN SPEED RUN ART LIKE THAT. AND SO SPECTACULARLY TOO

Last question! how do you color and make it look so well?? just. How. I need to know. This is a CRY FOR HE-

anyway thank you for being one of my favorite artists that always feed my brain rot, pls keep making amazing art because like a little yamper I will follow behind and stay updated.

(Stands there)

Response and thoughts under cut!

First question! What art program I use!

Mostly procreate, along with a handful of brushes! (Specifically the Jing Set and some custom stuff, which is really just a circle brush with the shape changed to a square.)

Second question! How do i draw so much!

Okay so. I am. Ahhah. Unemployed,,,,? No, I do freelance illustration, but hmm. A studio job would be nice.

i graduated college last year and I’m very used to eight hour art shifts. The body sort of remembers to keep working, even though I no longer have storyboards or visdev homework to do.

Also. The hyperfixation is a deep vast tunnel I STILL have not seen the end of the light to, good golly. (I have dreams now about the kids committing shenanigan crimes. I wake up in cold sweat and write them down in a journal. It’s like being the mouthpiece to an angry god.)

So the overall gist is: I was trained to be a storyboard artist with a visdev background, and I’m using that higher education to draw funny muppets because my brain’s funny.

I also DO have a queue, and I’ve been treating this as a sort of inktober project. I am definitely going to slow down soon though! Maybe. Hopefully. Ah… (sheepishly drops my kofi here)

Third question! How do i color!

I. I, uh. I dont know man the coloring demons have a grip on my soul and i just go along for the ride. But also, if it helps, i prefer to limit my pallets to only a few colors at a time. Lighting is king, so if you can figure out if you want to focus on either on your lights or shadows, you’ll have a much easier time composing. That, and symbolic colors— idk, something hits different about art drenched in gold with a tiny hint of a man staring into the blinding horizon, or a green leafy environment with a single dot of artificial red. I also like using blue and purple for shadows, and I’m a big fan of muting colors with only one or two that pop— one of the reasons why I was so attracted to submas in the first place is because from a design aesthetic, they’re both super funny muppet men AND really cool train guys that have a limited pallet and thematic apparel.

Overall response! THANK YOU SO MUCH. This goes out to a BUNCH of people who sent me inbox queries— sorry for not responding, it’s a tad overwhelming because some of them are story questions even I don’t really know will go yet, and others are words of praise and I’m selfish and like scrolling through the inbox to look at them when I feel down. I am more of an artist who sits in the corner and sprouts like a potato rather then a branching vine who socializes, but I really do see people’s responses and they make me go :)))))

Okay ramble over. Thanks for coming to the soapbox, and good luck on creating!

[ssatorussuguru]

hi!! i saw in the author's notes section on one of your fics that you're open to sharing more fic recs, so i was wondering if you have any for dick? love your fics btw 💕

thank u so so much it really means a lot <33 this one took SO long because there are such an abundance of incredible dick centric fics but i tried organizing it as best as i can! fair warning there is a looot under the cut, and some of them arent in dick's pov but i included them if hes the main relationship

(adjacent to that is the trillion dick and dami fics i adore but didnt include bc theyre more dami centric)

dick + bruce

he just wants his dad - Or, Dick gets many hugs over the years, but there's one he needs.

big ears are made of these - Dick has opinions about Bruce’s Batman costume. Namely, that it isn’t scary enough. Luckily, Bruce is happy to let his nine-year-old ward make “improvements” in the name of justice. It isn’t until Dick is older that he regrets taking Bruce up on the offer.

synchronicity - (A young Robin and Nightwing swap places; Batman is always the constant.)

we'll live in spaces between walls - (Something is different about Dick. Bruce notices.)

baby dick!!

sweater weather - Dick Grayson is eight, Bruce Wayne is trying, and there's a walk home in the rain.

im so blue all the time - (Batman is human, Dick Grayson is not. This changes nothing and everything, all at once.)

little robin redbreast - baby dick and selina

dick + jason

everything goes away - Dick accidentally gets sent back five years in the past, before Jason died. It's up to him to save his little brother, and maybe learn to see him in a different light.

heaven shall never call our name - Renegade is stuck living what can only be described to be his worst life, but at least he can check in on his little brother from time to time, even if it breaks his heart that he can't be the big brother Jason seeks.

to my brother - Jason’s in a small town somewhere in the Russian wasteland the first time he sends a postcard to Dick.

hope is the thing with feathers - Or Jason Todd is a time traveler, and Dick Grayson is always his destination.

birds in rafters - That one where Nightwing likes to take naps in the rafters of Red Hood's office/safehouse/warehouse. And Hood's so used to him at this point he conveniently forgets to tell his guys Wing's not a threat

i need somebody to tell me it will be just fine - Dick doesn't understand what's wrong with Jason. He's nervous, anxious and he's been pacing in front of Bruce's study for 15 minutes. Surely he's not afraid of the man?

a bright light of silver - batman and robin meet baby jase

dick + dami

give me your armor - No place is ever truly safe. Even knowing that, Damian feels safe in Wayne Manor. It has nothing to do with Grayson's presence.

the stowaway - Dick tries his best to parent Damian. Damian tries his best, period. They’re both a bit clumsy, but they’ve got the spirit.

smeared with oil (like david's boy) - Damian gets de-aged.

the spitting image - A stranger in line orders Dick's coffee for him.

what's in a name? - He’d convince Damian that he was good. Somehow. Eventually. Maybe after a nap. He’d give Damian new titles. A ten year old should not be hearing the adults around him calling him ‘Demon Spawn’ or ‘Devil Child’ or whatever else. He’d give Damian new attributes to be proud of.

misc

prove that i'm worth something - Dick Grayson has never had much time for Stephanie Brown. But when the two of them find themselves stranded without a line to the outside world, he finds that they might have more in common than he thought.

their arms are extended (my eyes start to close) - In which Dick Grayson gets hit with fear toxin, Stephanie Brown imparts some wisdom, and Damian Al Ghul Wayne learns to forgive himself.

inhale peace - After being erased from the memory of his loved ones, Dick travels the world and tries to learn to heal.

it was not your fault, but mine - Dick gets caught and tortured. Tim finds him. Dick thinks he doesn't care enough to help him. Tim, frankly, doesn't care what Dick thinks.

chatterbox - Eight times that spells or serums affected Dick's ability to speak and / or their aftermath.

turncoat - Dick didn’t know how he felt about doing a job in Gotham. Honestly, it had been a surprise he’d even been assigned to it; he would’ve thought he’d be considered too close. Too likely to be compromised.

[lexisecretaccx]

Masterlist

(💋= smut, 💌= Fluff, ‼️= Angst, ☎️= Suggestive, ❤️= idk/all of the above)

Chris

☎️💋Text me back

💋Don’t hold back

❤️High school Sweethearts PT1, PT2, PT3, PT4, PT5, PT6, PT7, PT8, PT9, PT10, PT11, PT12, PT13, PT14, FINALE!

💌☎️ Is it gonna hurt?

❤️snaps u would put on ur story as C.S gf

Matt

💌Teach me

💋The games you play

💋☎️ Smile for the picture

💋Good little girl

‼️ I miss the man you were

❤️ A married man

Both of em

❤️A+ Student PT1, PT2, PT3, PT4, PT5, PT6, PT7, PT8, FINALE!

Im probably not gonna write fics about Nick or other people but if that changes I’ll let you know!

AND THINGS I WONT WRITE:

incest(gross and disgusting) ,

Nick smut with a female reader(respect the fact he’s for the men y’all.) ,

piss kink or anything like that(just ew) ,

r@pe fics (it’s insensitive and wrong.)

About me!!

My names Lexi, but u can just call me urs😉😘 (jokesies)

I litro love Melanie Martinez, The Weeknd, Ariana grande, Doja cat, Jhené Aiko, Sza, Travis Scott, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, and so many others I can’t list because we will be here forever! But let’s just say my music taste is very diverse😭😂

I am a Chris girl but I love Matt too, Chris just hits different sometimes😋

Feel free to litro put anything in my inbox, whether its requests for fics, questions, or anything (I give pretty good advice I’ve been told!) and my anon is on so nobody has to know who you are!🫶

[majorproblems77]

Alrighty Linked maze fans I hope you're ready, part 1 of 3 for catch-up analysis!

So our good friend Frulleboi has been absolutely cooking with these update's with three in quick succession and I am loving it cause I love it and is great.

This is for the beginning of the Soul Stone chapter. Soul stone part 1.

Now a link to the comic page can be found Here. Please go give it some love :D

For the important stuff!

Linked Maze belongs to @linked-maze and its wonderful creator @frulleboi. (You should follow them, they are wonderful) And as a heads up, Linked maze is for more mature audiences! :)

As usual, you know the drill, Grab some water, Grab some popcorn and prepare for me to ramble at you for however long it is!

Here we go!

Half an hour? So all the areas around with the environment that I spotted before won't help me for the moment?

Ohhhhhh boy

(I've got my eye on this)

Four... Four please.

Like wolfy has a good reason he is preoccupied but like you can just turn around for like 1 moment.

Wolfy really is the real mvp of this little team, he out here doing work! We love him.

Guarantee that the team will fall apart without the wolf who goes 90% of the work and has 90% of the team's brain cells.

"It was at this moment, he discovered..."

This panel made me laugh because of Four's shadow.

The disappointed look on his face, I think the shadow is literally me inside of this universe sometimes. He Craves chaos but also is just like 'Four what are you doing?' at every available opportunity.

Nooooooooo, Whatever do you mean four? God I love him.

And wolfy here is just like, 'My man can't you see I am busy I can't do everything.'

(Me taking notes of this tree on the left here. 3 branches, thin band and a thick area... thinking it's going to be a major landmark)

Then all of a sudden.

Hold up, I recognise this.(I think)

[TANGENT TIME]

I'm probably looking WAY TO far into this as we dont know how this maze works but)

This area here.

A thin band/wall with a larger area and moss on the wall looks KINDA Like the area where Sky meets Wild from back in Waking up PT5.

I know there's some differences between the grass and the tree, but the tree could be off-frame.

I'm not saying that Four (His looks like a newer version of the one we see here) is now in the same area as these guys, but I'm thinking he might be getting close to that region of the world map.

This could also be a clue as to how the maze works. Each region could look near on identical in layout while feeling so much different because of the changes in the environment. (New vs old walls, Tree's VS rock etc)

I feel like I need to get a pen and paper to explain this better, let me know if I do and I will do that.

While it might not be the exact same location, I think there might be more hints as to these guys being the ones we get the group up with next.

Moving on.

Oh man, again with Shadow this man just looks so disappointed with four i love him.

He's like, Are you for real?

There are so many thoughts going through his head. But I think these two do the work for me.

"My friend! Is he okay!" And thennnnn "Oh god im alone with Four"

Wolfy's facial expressions are top-tier in these updates and I love him sm okay.

Short and sweet. But it works either way!

Thanks for hanging out with me on this one, Hope to see you again soon when we hit the next one! :D

Have a great day!

[astrylx]

Liveblog Season 4 Finale (trying different post format):

AZAZEL’S BACK?? WHAT??? and he’s killing the poor nuns…

Sam is fully convinced he’s going into this to die, or at least part of him is going to die. The demon blood and what is happening has changed him…

Once again we are hit with Jensen Ackles having really great subtle acting, I love it.

Is Dean giving up on Sam? Giving up on his little brother? And the way he’s talking about Sam leaving… fuck me man… “I’m not even sure if he’s still my brother anymore… if he ever was” FUCKING HELL-

And thank you Bobby for pulling him back together! Thank you my king!!

“You sound like your dad.” EXACTLY! THANK YOU BOBBY! THANK YOU!! This is why Bobby is the best character.

Oh fuck you Zachariah you should die. I hate you so much. Obedience and faith are not the same. Yes, obedience has a hand in faith, but they are not the same.

The virgin sacrifice of the nun makes me very sad… I’m still just so confused wtf Azazel is here for… OH SHIT WAIT I GET IT… This is a flashback from before Sam and the other Special Children were created! So we’re going to get the background of his and Lilith’s plan! OH NO SHOT AND SO IM GUESSING IM RIGHT IN THAT SAM IS SUPPOSED TO HOST LUCIFER!

I feel so awful for the nurse.

This show makes me feel so sacrilegious. Like genuinely there are moments I feel I need to get down and pray for forgiveness… is that bad?

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! THE ANGELS ARE TRYING TO START THE APOCALYPSE!!!

Cas wants to prevent the apocalypse, Dean is going to convince him to help. Which is good because honestly fuck you for what happened to Jimmy. Jimmy deserved better. You need to do something good to make up for that.

Ruby manipulated Sam’s voicemail I think. She’s def working with Lilith, I’ve thought this since her introduction.

I love the framing of so many of the shots with Dean in this episode.

YES CAS IS HELPING!!

This portrayal of Lilith is so interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it, but I find it interesting. Tbf though I just don’t like any portrayal of Lilith honestly…

Fuck, Castiel is sacrificing himself to help Dean and Sam, and to end the apocalypse. Going to call it now that the archangel is either Gabriel or Raphael/Israfil. I have reasoning for this thought. Gabriel is the main archangel who speaks the Lord’s will, and Israfil is the archangel who announces the Day of Judgement. So they’re the two most likely to be watching over Chuck.

The scene of Sam trying to kill Lilith is so well done imo. The muffled voices under his heart, the way it’s framed- I really like it! Lilith’s laughter being what cuts through, her words- her taunting him- SAM’S EYES TURNING FULLY DEMON BLACK- HOLY SHIT-

Lilith’s blooding pooling to break the seal- SAM’S REACTION TO IT IS SO FUNNY I CANT HELP BUT LAUGH-

I can only imagine everything that Sam is feeling rn… I just want to sit and hold his hand…

I’m so uncomfortable with Ruby calling Sam Sammy. Also I was right not to trust her. Still love her though, she’s still my girlboss. Rip queen.

Well now Lucifer is free… that’s… great…

And I’m done with season 4!

[wheelie-sick]

would you mind explaining a bit about what cistrans *is*?? or if you don't feel like it, pointing me in the right direction?? im just curious about it and don't know where to look for information that isn't from radqueers and people who may use it incorrectly.

sure!

for everyone it's different. I'm not going to say it's exclusively an intersex label but functionally it's used that way.

it describes a complex relationship with the labels "cis" and "trans" where someone finds themself being both or somewhere in-between.

there are so many different examples of how intersex experience can fit into this because intersex experiences and identities are so diverse.

one of the big ones is discovering you were assigned the wrong sex at birth. just a random example, a trans man discovering he actually has CAIS and XY chromosomes. while he was raised with the expectation of being a woman his actual sex is complicated and he might feel his sex is closer to male than female. there's a mismatch in life experience of gender and actual sex. his gender is undeniably trans but his sex? his sex is closer to cis.

intergender as an identity is another one that can sometimes lead to people identifying as CisTrans. when you're intersex you're almost always raised with the expectation of being either a man or a woman, it is exceptionally rare to be an outlier to that. even the intersex people who are not raised strictly within the binary gender system aren't raised with the label of intergender. to become intergender you must change the label of your gender, but simultaneously intergender is a gender that always matches your sex. (this is personally a large part of the reason I identify as CisTrans.)

having a combination of identities can also make this label apply. multigender people are people who this label can absolutely apply to when one of their genders is one that they were raised with the expectation of being. trans for one or more genders, cis for one or more (yes, more. intersex people are often reassigned later in life) genders as well

speaking of reassigned genders, when your gender is reassigned later in life the labels cis and trans can get complicated. if you identify with a binary gender then no matter what you identify as you are identifying with a gender assigned to you at some point.

I'm sure there are other examples of places this label can apply. this isn't an exhaustive list at all. it's just what I'm thinking of off the top of my head.

also worth noting because someone will misread this: no, just because someone fits one of the above does not mean they have to identify as CisTrans. no one is forcing the label on anyone. I am hitting you on the head with a newspaper if you comment complaining about something that is not happening.

also CisTrans people are welcome to add on with their experiences and reasonings behind using the label :]

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

LUX!!!!

(ncuti voice)lets go lets go lets go lets go let's go

first some hot takes from trailers:

hot take 1: im a bit side eyeing this ep in advance bc much like the eurovision special coming up it feels 5 years behind from the zeitgeist. in these days when fanservice and high-concept tv is so common this kinda gimmick, by itself, is just Not That Bold

hot take 2: im not a fan of how bad wolf does coloring tbh. so much teal and copper. egh. i had this problem with HDM too actually. some very beautiful production design but imo marred many times by a muddied, artificial color palette... (last ep was terrible with this imo. the props were so gorgeous but those colors… oof)

ok onto the episode proper

this kind "ironic" 50s aesthetic does nothing for me. sorry fallout fans.

got fooled a lot by the last eps so im trying to freeze frame more this time kdlfjs

TV SHOW GANG LOOK WE'RE OPENING WITH A LITERAL PROJECTION AGAIN. why are we winning literally all the time

"and the world must ask, is this the pinnacle of man's creative genius?" master energy

francis ringer?

shouldn't this kind of style 20s be in black and white? color cartoons are more 40s-50s

IT'S ALL FIFTEEEN

"you came back, i had faith, and you came back"

"according to the laws of the light, sunlight doesnt suit us" oof

i know it's not

"LIMITED RUN ONLY" triggered TOT

"and technically it's puppets that want to be boys, not cartoons" screaming

they did a good job with the "coming out of the screen" effect

"and whatever you do dont make me laugh" stop trying to make blink happen its not gonna happen

love a "under the hood repair" scene <3

MUSIC!!!!!

"planet timelordia" "i wish it was called that :/" im in love

he asks if she's got a girlfriend first sdklfjd doctor who has a Type

"maybe not today"

the orange / yellow / cream of their outfits contrasts rlly well with the grey and blue

london regency orchestra!!!

"he loves grabbind the microphane" sdklfjsd "i would really, really like to see them again" us too!!

TAKE ME BACK TO HEATTHROW AIRPORT!!!!! im so living ya'll -" vindicator" i love.also she's so unfazed lskdfjd (which i love too)

(i can sense this is gonna be an episode with a lot of Food bc it's been 5 minutes and i've already paused so many times kldfj)

15 so happy to be seducing her dslfkjsdlkfj

OUTFITS!!!!!! ROLL OVER BETHOVEN MY BELOVED!!! LIGHTS!!!! /my toxic trait is i love doccy ho 2 much

"at 4am. we got dressed up for no one to see"

"this time travel thing is so strange because… we know what happens to him. poor soul" belinda idk your last name but im in love with u

also this Feels like it's gonna be a theme… good ol' pompoeii stories coming up

this is such a tenth move lmao ";;;) heyyy i can take u home but looook…. first i need to take off my tie…… and also let's visit shakespeare ;;;) but i promise it's all Necessary"

"like they are locking up a wild beast" i wonder if this is the kind of ep that would be stronger without a cold open that tells us already the awnser to the mystery sdlkfj

"we can go now :)))))))))) pls"

batista namedrop

oh yeah… racism :/

"i have toppled worlds, sometimes i wait for people to topple their world. until then, i live in it i and i shine ;)" this is the kinda energy i wanna bring to my family dinners

(ok BUT this is such a Meaningful line that says sm about the doctor and fifteen's arc and the lore and even torchwood CoE but i kinda want to focus on the ep sdklfsadjs le'ts just put it in a lil' box to unpack later)

"he liked those tales of outer space" "did he?"

"i will sit and wait for that boy forever"

"it says "police box"" "does that give you hope?"

hope can change the world / and then the hand holding In the context of the segregation … hits different

"C'MON VELMA" "OK FRED" iconic

"i know this is a segregated space…but we just… we wanted to say…. (beat)… hello"

"and this is……. the doctor?????(right, just the doctor???? …um always?? :///" "yeah" "ridiculous…." wtf i love her so much

"is someone tap dancing at us?"

"you're not celluloid, you're made of light, light come to life"

"i wish i knew. i'm all alone. ain't nobody else in this whole wide world like me. does nobody care about mr. ring a ding?" "you've got your own soundtrack" "15 people went missing" "" I LOVE A MIRROR!!!! I LOVE A FOIL!!! (eats my entire hat)

ALSO THEY CAN HEAR THE SOUNDTRACK!!!!!!!

"because it sounds like this…" YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

asdkjasd lk we saw that harbinger cinema image set pic literally LAST series and i still got totally SHOCKED i tell you SHOCKED when this happened…. i love doccy ho

this whole pantheon insanity is so underrated tbh. fandom is gonna take A While to see the Brilliance just like with the timeless children.

this era has so much wordplay… so Intentionally… (cause IT'S A TV SHOW) when we get to the god of narrative things are gonna get So Insane…

"dangabbit, i've got no choice!" i love a mirror

"because if that thing is real, then so is she" oh i love this theme!! dreams are real 2 us.. fav trope.

"i should have never

"it's all a game to them. but the games are deadly" mirror mirror mirror mirror

"there are forces beyond this universe. and we think we're so clever. but we're like children. and when these forces deign to look down on us, our entire reality is in danger" this dialogues So well with Time vs 13 in flux

15 people …………

"he's trapped them in film" idiot's lantern coded!!!

'CAUSE YOU KNOW HOW FLAMMABLE OLD FILM IS. doctor who fans everywhere TRIGGERED

(the flashbacks to the previous episodes is a bit hoockey sdkflj)

belinda's expressions are Doing A Lot in this part

"those 15 people, you can let them go" "i've immortalized them on film!" ohh so meta

(this ep is Exciting in energy but i worry it's been half the runtime and Not A Lot has happened skldfj. like last ep altho things moved fast, and i can tell rtd is taking A Lot of exposition shortcuts, it still feels like most of the story has been setup rather than proper story, you know?)

"i've got a two dimensional brain" ok this is a good gag but: probably unpopular opinion: i hate how this whole episode is undermining old school classic cartoons tho :/// bro maybe the 60s hannah barbera schlop was bland like this, but there's actually a lot of character and gravitas to the warner brothers 40s-50s stuff (and even some of the disney stuff, esp the classics like bambi). and i rlly disagree with the implication of this medium-narrative that "current" cartoons are automatically better artistically because they've follownig some rules and formulas of """"sophisticated""" tv… it's just very myopic of the genre and how in taters it actually is today. esp bc execs have prioritized $$$ over craftsmanship and all you get in theatres is 3d sclhop (that is no, not actually more "depth" just bc it follows the """Pixar Principles""", it's as cooperative and sanitized in ways classic cartoons never were)

anyway DKFLJSDKLJF sorry for the rant. putting THAT aside. …. how telling that even this "more" depth moment the doctor isnt telling the whole truth (that he's trying 2 seduce belinda so she stays with him bc he can't be with himself).

huggg

"we've been framed" eyyy

lol they really couldn't afford more of the animated sequences could they

"i dont know how things are done in the caribbean" sdfkj

"he offered to help you!" oof. oof. dot and bubble motif.

"scrolling up and down does not work"

(i waved at them like a dork sdklfjds embarrassing)

this has SUCH send in the clones energy lol they even have 3 fans!!!

hashtag glee hates women

the hugggggggg TOT the dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS THE LITERAL DREAM

(bro that's a sick poster of the slugs from dot and bubble)

"blink" rolls eyes. judging these 3 guys' taste so much lol

(imagine saying that when 73 yards exists!!)

"yeah. but what does he not do?" "we don't know, tell us" "we can't!" "GOD YOU'RE SO ANNOYING" im loving this lol WE ARE ACTUALLY - lots of people say that" god bless

"we're the sort of characters who don't have surnames"

TIME FOR THE THIRD ACT

this is going down so hard wtf?? also the "illusions are real to us" my BELOVED trope <3 "you mean… you'll die?" "it's not death. we just end." "but… that is death" "yeah. but we're not important. it doesnt matter what happen to us" wtf im crying "it's been so worth it just to meet you" "and thanks to you i met my two best friends" ahh classic fandom beat

ok but: this scene gets me so much because i've always connected a lot with the "dreams / stories are Real to Us" theme, as i've said before in this post… first because they validate us daydreamers and ppl who need to escape the harshness of reality… and second bc that kind of theme rlly brings forth how deeply some of us can connect to fictional characters. and how real that can feel at times. it honors those (parasocial lol) relationships. BUT this episode i think brought it to a new level because it connected it to the "we're all stories in the end" theme. once we die, we're all eventually forgotten. and it's like a kind of second death. but it brings some comfort to us to think that we'll be remembered in our legacies and in the memories of people. (like how ppl connect with historical characters). it's kind of a way to "beat death" that's just, so human. y'know?

"then we might live on just a little bit" don't worry we'll write fanfic for ya'll!!!

(cheers to rtd bc he managed to do something new with a thing that's Been Done Before in xen,a supernatural, buffy, etc slkdfj)

(also these 3 guys had the sickest merch damnn)

hug!!!!!!

"or burns us to death :D"

the directing going off in this bit

"doctors always make the worst of patients, but trust me, i know what im doing"

"my hospital could do with you"

"you have light within you that builds a body" eyes emoji. children of time arc keeps going girlllls

i love how into the nuclear explosions the gods are lol

3d "liveaction" remake of my 2d cartoons be-loathed.

HE'S BURNING THE FILM. classic fans TRIGGERED

(this mechanic feels off tho sdklfj it feels like the doctor should have More energy than the sun… and going by rings of akhaten, more Potential Energy as well…. but ok whatever sdkfjsd )

"i am everything and i am nothing" oh this is such a good beat to literally '34934 times we've seen characters Ascend Cosmologically on this show sldkfj enlightenment means death in dw

"infinite. invisible. intangible.""amen"

this was exciting but what i feel is lacking in this season+special is for the characters of the day to be more interesting...… like yay for tommy lee's mom and the projector guy but i dont really Care that much sdklfjds. they feel too much like beats we've seen a thousand times, and work more on that level, rather than as specific new stories being told.

i disagree with lizzie im gonna give it a 10/10 just for sheer energy alone. and altho a bit short on time and with underdeveloped characters,... itdid get me to think about my own mortality. what more can u ask for our own fav scifi family show ?

that said after a lot of meta and self-referencing im glad we're going back to a straight forward base under siege dsfsdklfj pls pls next week have a good interesting crew that i can actually mourn once they bite the dust...

also i want more development and focus on belinda pls.

[bytedykes]

Meme thing: Yue Qingyuan, and whoever your favorite MDZS and TCGF characters are (one from each).

this took me forever to write down and then even longer to post because i had to wait until i was on my computer since tumblr didn't let me copypaste it on mobile lmaooo

i've actually answered this ask game for yqy before, so this will be fun to see how my opinion on him has changed!

Sexuality Headcanon: i dont think he's attracted to women. beyond that… nothing concrete really, im open to a lot of different interpretations of him… i definitely think he has issues w/ feeling sexual desire and allowing himself to want things though

Gender Headcanon: i usually think of him as a cis man but honestly i dont think it matters that much . he has bigger things going on lol

A ship I have with said character: yqy/mqf is a longtime fave hehe but more recently ive gotten more into crossfandom shipping so ive been thinking about yqy/lan xichen a lot… can two miserable guilty sect leaders really find comfort in each other…?

A BROTP I have with said character: yqy and sqq always !!! they have such an interesting relationship raghhh me and the guy who isnt my brother but deeply reminds me of him and i care about him as well… i reread the ending of v3 recently it kills me. it kills me!

A NOTP I have with said character: still qi/jiu

A random headcanon: modern au yqy does not have real furniture in his apartment. either he has uncomfortable minimalist crap he doesn't use or it's just empty. his office is more furnished than his bedroom is

General Opinion over said character: i love him so so much. he is in my brain and he is not going anywhere. he's such a deeply tragic complicated character and i really like dissecting him. i wish more people were open to actually caring about him as a character instead of just using him as a prop for their sj-centric fics

rest under the cut!

i dont think i have a Favorite mdzs character but jiang cheng has been eating my brain all week so i'll do him. would love to do this ask game for other mdzs characters at some point though… theyre all special to me…

Sexuality Headcanon: i dont think i actually have anything concrete? he can be anything. if he's into men i don't think he knows until it's literally knocking at his door. very fond of aro jiang cheng however

Gender Headcanon: in canon cis male but ive been thinking about transfem jc a lot lately i think it has so much potential. could be something really good. all his complexes mixing together And she looks like her mom… really really good

A ship I have with said character: jiang cheng/crumb of joy. other than that none of them i think every jiang cheng ship is reductive and boring. however at the same time every jiang cheng ship has potential if you're not a boring coward about it. recently ive been thinking about xicheng as friends who have sex longterm

A BROTP I have with said character: i mean obviously jc&jl and jc&wwx, right? in general i like all of jc's familial relationships, they're so juicy… but he and jl are very special to me. i love how much they love each other

A NOTP I have with said character: every jiang cheng ship which is very obviously just pairing the spares. jc/wwx also like im not disgusted by it but im just so deeply not into it. very frequently i find that ambiguous relationships which other people interpret as romantic are so much more compelling to me as a platonic relationship and this is very much the case here. like it hits so hard because they're brothers… they're family…

A random headcanon: i have a few hehe. 1) jiang cheng having chronic migraines is very very funny 2) in the same vein i generally think giving him little ailments is funny. low iron 3) he would be such a good lavender marriage husband. i know this in my heart 4) sexual dysfunction babyyy… i love giving it to him

General Opinion over said character: i like him soooo much. so many people are so fucking mean and stupid about him which i just dont understand. like. i like him so much… yes he sucks but that's the appeal. hes not a horrible person he just sucks and he's always going through it and he's fucking miserable!! forevar!! yay! i love torturing him both physically and emotionally

for tgcf im going to do xie lian bc i like him so much :)

Sexuality Headcanon: veryyy aspec just so deeply aspec. demi i guess but like come on just look at him. obviously he is aspec

Gender Headcanon: male but like he also has other things going on + i think he's flexible about it but still secure in being a man + lots of interesting stuff to say on how xianle's nontraditional gender norms affect his presentation and self-perception still

A ship I have with said character: hualian is such a good ship they really are just so so good. i love them. very well written romance. very awesome for then. and im also going to take this moment to spotlight my insane polyship nobody else cares about. hualian/fx……… listen. it could be something great ok? so much potential here. me and my husband and our boyfriend who is my ex-loyal knight now-reconciled friend. huafeng itself is also very interesting to me but this isnt about them

A BROTP I have with said character: xl&sqx :) they're so sweet. i like them so much, they really bounce off each other so well and have a great dynamic. right away sqx was friendly and welcoming to him and i think xl really likes her too. they're so fun in volume 2 but their dynamic in blackwater arc is also super good. post canon as well! i just think they ultimately do like hanging out together and work well when they do

A NOTP I have with said character: xl/jw……… i just hate it lol. i understand why people ship them but i just disagree so deeply. like, whatever, but their dynamic is pretty explicitly parental to me. jw is literally his toxic dad, i do not see any romantic or sexual feelings between them on either side. also like, hasn't xl been through enough ajsgdjd he doesn't deserve this

A random headcanon: childfree forever ❤️ god i cant think of anything else rn

General Opinion over said character: i genuinely like him so fucking much. he's so chill. he's so stressed. he has the worst life in the world. he almost did genocide. he still practices kindness despite being deeply embarrassed about preaching it. he still wants to save the common people despite everything. he's a dumbass. he has insane relationships with every character. he's celibate until he isn't. he wanted to read mingguang rpf but didn't because of the celibacy. he's kind and he's a huge fucking bitch!!! he's very flawed but still tries so hard every day! i like him soooo much!!!

WHEW all done! this was sm fun to answer tysm sage!!

[passports-pls]

I was very disappointed in the lack of quality Mine playlists so I made my own 🤞

Listen here

you COULD listen to it in your own free time OR you could listen to it alongside my mentally insane directors commentary 😌

(under the cut)

for the sake of this post not getting too long I am grouping all the important songs into different categories pertaining to the different eras of mine tm

Pre-Daigo Misery (Nobody - The Other Woman)

This section is mostly abt Mine being a lonely little weirdo (characterised mostly by the smiths unsurprisingly) and because this era lacks a lot of actual content my notes are less specific between songs

There are actually so many male manipulator songs that fit too perfectly with Mine in this part of his life that I couldn't resist like I'm sorry but creep by radiohead is LITERALLY about him i don't make the rules

Okay but I do find 'Heaven Knowns Im Miserable Now' so funny in this context because I'm sure Mine was forcing himself into the yakuza expecting it to be so much easier to have close connections with these other men compared to his previous 9-5, only to find its almost exactly like his 9-5 just with more crime

'Salvatore' and 'Therefore I Am' are specifically the songs I attach to his bateman-esque grindset and his bubbling hatred for most of the people he works with dsfgf

okay but THE OTHER WOMAN ASWELL. It's literally mine you wouldn't understand. He dedicates so much time to taking care of himself and setting himself up to be an actual catch of a man and yet,, no one gives a shit about him despite all the effort he puts into his lifestyle to appeal to the ppl around him

LIKE??? Kicking and screaming he's so lana del ray coded

Just the sheer depression of this era i feel so bad for him

Yandere-mode activated (Can't Get You Out of My Head - The Killing Moon)

Self explanatory however actually finding songs that pertain to his specific brand of obsession was surprisingly difficult sfdsf

Although I will say that I cope and seethe at the fact that I had to sift through Killing Stalking playlists to settle on most of these songs gfdgsf

Theres such a delicate balance between the right amount of fluff and insanity that very few songs capture without being about literal stalking

like no in this case the stalker fucking won

that and vibes of idolizing Daigo like a god, I think 'Out of Touch' and 'Stolen Dance' do this the best

And freak because I can only imagine in all of Mine's relationships it's always been purely transactional and no ones ever put in the effort to actually talk and get to know Mine in any intimate form.

my poor touch starved blorbo

FEELINGS TM (Romantic Homicide - How to Dissapear)

THIS SECTION I FEEL GREATLY ABOUT

These songs to me are all about how Mine copes with Daigo's hospitalisation and when he wakes up. His whole internal battle surrounding his premature grief and his loss of connection with Daigo because could no longer see him as a truly living thing anymore

'Change' specifically hits when you think about it in this context. Because it's not so much about any real change in Daigo himself it's all about Mine's mental image of him now (because let's be real, Mine was way more in love with the idealised version he had of Daigo more than anything tangible about him)

IFHY is a little more of any iffy choice but I think it still convey's a lot about how conflicted Mine likely felt as well as just continuing his Yandere behaviour just in a much more sinister flavour

Okay but here's where my favourite song of the entire list is

WHITE FLAG BABY

admittedly it's completely self indulgent and ties into the mine-lives theory. But just the guilt and shame Mine felt when he see's that Daigo was indeed alive and that he was going to have to explain the past few weeks to him

yeah i would've thrown myself off that roof as well

also the lyric "I will go down with this ship" paralleling his "everyone abandons ship eventually" line just tickles my brain in the best way

'Door' and 'I Guess' are also just Mine guilt tm as well

'I guess' even more specifically because he's literally attached himself to daigo like a parasite and now he's thinking daigo's gonna break up with him I just AUGH

He KNOWS he's completely fucked up but I don't think he realises how much of a pushover Daigo is just yet and that he would have forgiven him eventually gjfdg

I'll probably update this with more notes as I remember them but for now I hope y'all enjoy the playlist!

[callibones]

Whats your favorite version of Revolver Ocelot?

this is the most difficult thing anyone has ever asked me. i know this because i thought "oh! it's obvious" and then changed my answer so many times that i realized id hit ALL of them.

in the time it took me to type that paragraph my favorite changed three more times and im not kidding. im feeling it wildly fluctuate in my brain.

mgs1: ocelot classic. old man loves his revolvers. adore. went to torture university and got a degree in torture and now everyone's saying boo hoo torture's immoral.

mgs2: liquid ocelot. outstanding. hes even better in mgs4 but here hes already wonderful. it doesnt even matter where hes better though because liquid ocelot is one Version. so the only preference ive been able to determine here is irrelevant to the question.

mgs3: baby ocelot. ocelots are proud creatures *spins guns for several minutes and MEOWS*. i understand how he felt when big boss called him pretty good and you could see in his eyes him falling absolutely in love. this ocelot made me adore all ocelots more for having met him. so absolutely a contender. but

mgs4: liquid ocelot again. here hes OUTSTANDING. dude is SO not liquid snake and it SHOWS. hes having so much fun. that one scene where he does the thing with the finger guns. is just. perfect. hes in his element. his boss fight is perfection. but

mgs5: cowboy ocelot. theres no two ways about it this ones hot. sorry. the other ones are just endearing and delightful but this one. i dunno. he still sucks. he pronounces french wrong on purpose because he hates french people. iconic behavior. his design is at his best. the polycule is in fucking shambles. hes in the same game as kaz which would overshadow literally anyone else except venom snake and him. (huey is not overshadowed because he was never a contender for most endearing. hes one of my favorite characters in media for different reasons. this is because he is so patently over the top horrible in such a fun way that hes different.)

after going through all of these in my head i can safely say that like.

i love love love ocelot classic but the others are better. fourth favorite

cowboy ocelot is really fun and fantastic and funny. gets great lines and hates the french. third favorite

between baby ocelot and liquid ocelot i am agonizing. but. but. but.

hold on i just remembered cowboy ocelot does that thing in 5 where he echoes all of the lines from big boss about how guns work and i remembered i loved him even more than i thought and now im stuck between those three again. anon what have you DONE. this is CRUEL.

um

okay im at a loss i was hoping describing each of them in turn would help but im even more dead set in the tie now. liquid ocelot is so different from baby ocelot is so different from cowboy ocelot. cowboy ocelot is, even more than ocelot classic, the Platonic Ideal of revolver ocelot, Fully Formed but not yet in his Containment Breach Form. so as far as who i think of when i think of my "favorite ocelot" it's gotta be cowboy ocelot. you can chart the line from baby ocelot right to him and see how he got even more iconic. with his stupid hat

[tigerdrop]

Hi I pre-ordered the keychain and I'm very excited for it!! I wanted to know how you think it would go if Bill and Ford were to reunite at some point post Weirdmageddon, Bill is still incredibly obsessed with Ford (and likely that will never change), but Ford is angry at him because of the past, do you think they could work something out?

oh i absolutely do. i was just thinking about this the other day.......sure it would be healthier for both of them to cope and move on, but would it be more fun?? NO!!!!!!!!

i can make it work. im going to write this eventually but right now im working on a fic about the first time bill and ford hook up. but i can make it work

consider bill taking a lot of misguided lessons from his therapy sessions and thinking "well clearly the way to fix all of this and get sixer back is to go back in time and redo everything. but better this time". envision this going haywire in every way you would expect going back in time to fix things to do

even funnier if bill decides hes going to break out of the theraprism to do this. he Did not learn a fucking thing other than "if you are mean to somebody they might not like you anymore". mission accomplished

i think he could fuck things up so bad with time travel bullshit . it would be so funny. we all saw the fucking time travel episode, ok, now imagine something like that except with bill desperately trying to interrupt the timeline to show sixer that hes got Emotional Intelligence now, he did therapy, he made collages and lumpy clay hearts that he DIDNT smash into goop, and hes Better than the bill ford knew when he was younger. it would be so embarrassing to watch

my vision is that bill makes such a huge fucking mess of the timeline and of their dimension and it causes so many problems for so many people and they are all So mad at him. except, weirdly enough, for ford

the guys on trial for time crimes and the only one willing to say a nice thing about him is his dipshit ex with an ego bigger than god. because he actually feels touched that bill did all of this stuff just for him. and bill apologized, even if he doesnt fully understand the purpose of "apologies" or "contrition"

it hits ford square in the emotional intersection of "i never stopped thinking about bill even though he fucked me over and i never want to see him again" and "bill would cause this much trouble and this much chaos out of a misguided attempt to patch things up". he actually cares!!!

and its cartoons. its not like bill has to go to fucking time jail if i dont want him to. ford can abruptly interrupt to defend him out of nowhere while every single member of his family thinks he has lost his mind. the power of love (and time community service) can get him out of it. And it can work

ford never stopped being easy to flatter and having a god move heaven and earth just to make him happier is like the biggest ego boost known to man. so even if hes still hurt over everything i dont think he could resist feeling that special. that powerful

but now hes older and smarter and he doesnt have anything to offer bill. and bill doesnt have anything he wants anymore. except, you know. company

so i think ford is easily stupid enough to have one last pity date that turns into a second and a third and so on. its not like everything is fixed but bill showed that he was actually capable of emotional growth. he Did change. just for some dumbass human. which is crazayyyyyy

(and now at least 7 different people/creatures/entities would explode bill into 1 million pieces if he throws another fucking tantrum. and fords got that aluminum plate in his head......hes the one in control now. bill cant do anything except, maybe, break fords heart. which would also make everybody explode him)

everybody hates that bill shows up to family functions now but what can you do. sometimes the interdimensional dream demon that possessed you and slammed your hands in drawers ends up dating your grunkle. Its basically the same as having a stepdad

and they could fuck about it. The end

[livethrushit]

so im a first-time watcher of better call saul & have not looked into any analysis/commentary yet bc im not done and i dont want to find spoilers.

watching s3e9 made me realize we as the viewers get our real first taste of what it's like to be chuck, someone who can barely handle any shred of empathy towards jimmy. obviously streaming has changed a lot, but they spent about 4 years making you feel empathetic to whatever the fuck jimmy was up to bc he seems like an overall good guy. thinking about mike's quote where he says there's the law, you either follow it, or you don't and that's when you're considered a criminal.

but being a criminal does not mean you're an inherently bad person or doing something morally wrong. and most of jimmy's antics at this point are usually at the expense of rich pricks who intentionally hurt people. he goes above and beyond to help those he loves, like Painfully above and beyond. even when they hate him, even when they can't stand to be near him. he's as smart as chuck but in a morally different way and it makes him interesting compared to the straight laced intelligence of chuck.

then he does it: he needs money like yesterday and in dire straits he pulls a long con on an innocent, kind person. and it is brutal to watch. you can't even give him the benefit of the doubt because the urgency and desperation in his actions betray any unbothered, unstoppable facade he usually props up. there's a visceral reaction to the sort of scam he's pulling this episode. it's predatory, and aimed at someone highly vulnerable. the opposite of what we've seen him doing for almost 4 years.

it feels like after all this time, we are hitting a shift towards Maybe beginning to understand chuck more. he probably really liked jimmy at one point. but watching him con the most vulnerable people in his life so many times, with distressing amounts of elaborate lies, that empathy starts to run cold. you maybe start to wonder if maybe jimmy *only* conned the rich and arrogant because he reaped a bigger reward. the people he loves are apparently not valuable enough to con unless he stands to gain something in the situation.

jimmy's deep love for kim seems surface level at best when he completely overlooks her overwhelming distress. she hasn't slept, she's losing her composure, we don't see her eat, she's burying herself in work. a lot of this is a poor coping mechanism for betraying chuck, a vulnerable man whose bitterness comes from a lifetime of watching hard scenes like the ONE scene we now have. kim is feeling the after effects of giving jimmy the benefit of the doubt, a feeling chuck knows well. it starts to harden you.

it's our turn to decide if jimmy deserves benefit of the doubt this episode.