#this has been in my drafts for... so fucking long

[celestie0]

hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)

i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now

although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.

i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense

as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.

anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.

sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.

anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!

[jewishcissiekj]

It's still May the Fourth for ya'll, right?

[hamletthedane]

I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

[shieldofmen]

I doubt Jon will look much different when he comes back but allow me to indulge in the ‘grey eyes that glow red in the dark’ thought that rots my brain anyways-

[isezrahomeyet]

OUR BOY IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[maythearo]

The cast I drew on sticky notes!

[osferth]

confessing

request: She is the sister of Uhtred and she’s a total badass in combat. Maybe that Uhtred sees how Osferth looks at her and when he says something about that he gets all flustered.

pairing : osferth x reader

@unleashthelion im so sorry its been so long 😭 u might not even be into tlk etc anymore but take this anyway

You were only a baby when Bebbanburg was usurped by your uncle Aelfric upon the death of his brother and its heir, Uhtred, captured by the Danes. As a result, you grew up in the fortress never knowing your brother, only anecdotes from Aelfric and your mother Glenna - the former dismissive, the latter loving and wistful. 

Glenna was your one saving grace during your time at Bebbanburg. Having been married to Earl Uhtred after his second wife passed away following Uhtred’s birth, she became his stepmother and loved him as her own. She spoke often of the days following your own birth with fondness in her eyes, describing how Uhtred was a permanent presence by your side - how he had loved his little sister more than anything. 

It was Glenna that inspired your desire to meet Uhtred again, but for years you never got the chance. 

For your safety, she never once voiced her anger and disapproval over Aelfric’s usurpation until you were together in private. He was never fond of you to begin with, and you learned early on that had you been born a boy, you would not have been allowed to live for very long. 

She was the only true protection you had, and when she sadly succumbed to illness you knew, even at the age of eleven, that until you found Uhtred you were totally alone. 

The year following Glenna’s death, you accompanied Aelfric, his priest Aidan, and his army of 200 men to Eoferwic, to meet with King Guthred and march on Dunholm. The infamous brothers Sigefrid and Erik were also there, but that hardly registered. After being told rather gleefully by Aelfric that Uhtred was dead, you were in little mood to do anything except passively go along with everything… until the Northmen inexplicably revealed that your brother was still alive. 

You successfully hid your joy while Aelfric raged and planned to leave upon the advice of Gisela, Guthred’s sister. With little love or need for you to begin with, your uncle left you in Gisela’s care, perhaps hoping that some misfortune would befall you and rid him of his unwanted niece. 

Recognising your neglect at Aelfric’s hands, Gisela led you from the meeting and promised to keep you safe. The two of you escaped Eoferwic together and found sanctuary in a nunnery, where you spent the next three years in relative peace. Understanding your desperation for any information about your brother, she revealed her knowledge of him and described everything - how he had grown up and found a family alongside Danes, his appearance, his personality, his love for her, and the words he spoke of his beloved sisters: blood and adopted alike. 

When the nuns could protect you no longer and your uncle’s priests arrived to forcefully marry Gisela to him, you feared losing the only constant you had found in your life - until you were joined by four more people. 

At once, your eyes locked on the man that angrily strode forward. Though he had grown tall and his hair now long like a Dane’s, you knew that this was your brother. 

Too stunned to speak, you could only watch as Uhtred ordered the abbot to release Gisela’s hand. Although he did, he refused to stop repeating the fact that she was married to Aelfric despite Uhtred persistently telling him to stop - which resulted in him killing the man, and it surprised you less than you thought it would. Glenna had always told you what an impulsive boy he had been, after all. 

After reuniting with the man she loved, Gisela beckoned you over, and it was only then that your presence was even recognised. 

“Who is she?” asked Uhtred as you stood before him. 

“Your sister,” Gisela replied, beaming at you. “Y/N.” 

“Hello,” you mumbled shyly, unsure of what else to say. 

Uhtred stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide. “You are certain?” 

“Your uncle left her in my care three years ago, just after you were taken.” 

You could see the tears swimming in your brother’s eyes before he swept you up in an almost bone-crushing hug. 

“I missed you, ástin mín,” he whispered. “I wish I had been there to see you grow.” 

You were crying too, but your tears were those of joy. “Mother told me all about you. All I wanted was to find you, but I never thought I could.” 

“You are here now,” he said, “and I promise I will never lose you again.”

~~

Uhtred was a man that kept his word. He brought you to live with him and Gisela in Coccham, where you stayed as a family. You had always hated feeling so powerless, and so you requested your brother to train you as a warrior - you had only been foolish enough to ask this of Aelfric once, but you knew Uhtred was nothing like him. 

He agreed at once, jumping at the chance to bond with you at the same time as improving your ability with a sword. 

Under the tutelage of your brother and his friends, you quickly grew into an adept fighter. As the years passed, you became a worthy opponent in sparring matches, your skill nearly as refined as those who had taught you. 

Despite the upward turn your life had taken, there were things you still wanted. As much as you loved Uhtred and his friends, you needed someone your own age - a companion you could spend your downtime with. 

Just as you were on the cusp of becoming a woman, your wish appeared to be granted when Osferth entered your brother’s service. Although Uhtred was sceptical of his potential, you couldn’t care less - Osferth was the same age as you and would surely improve with time, just as you had. 

His gentle manner and soft-spoken words were such a vast difference from the brusqueness you were used to that you instantly took a liking to him. He was always careful to address you as ‘Lady’ until you insisted he used your name instead - which was a slow change, given that he would often accidentally revert back to the term of respect. As much as you jokingly scolded him for it, you never truly minded - he was so sweet that you could never be annoyed with him for long. 

You trained alongside Osferth and saw him through Beamfleot, the first taste of battle either of you had ever had. It was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating, and it brought the two of you closer than ever. 

Although battle, maturity, and time spent with Uhtred’s friends had greatly improved Osferth’s confidence, there was only one prospect that rendered him as nervous and shy as the day he had first asked to join Uhtred. 

You. 

Although the two of you were close friends, he had long wanted something more. His heart had yearned for you since the day he first laid eyes on you, and every day after that. He loved everything about you - your laughter, how you fought, the way your hand slotted perfectly in his, the cheeky grin that often graced your features… he could go on. 

He wished you knew the truth, but he could never bring himself to admit it and risk ruining the friendship you had. 

One afternoon, you were sparring with Sihtric while Osferth sat close by with Uhtred. 

He watched you parry a blow with a deftness that made it look ridiculously easy, and smiled fondly. You were incredible in combat, and he both adored and envied you for it. 

His gaze was solely on you which, unfortunately for him, was soon noticed by your brother. 

“Enjoying the view?” Uhtred teased, nudging him a little. 

Flushing, Osferth quickly averted his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean, Lord,” he mumbled. 

“You have all the subtlety of a nun in a brothel, Osferth.” 

“Lord!” 

Uhtred snorted. “Well, your affection for my sister has hardly gone unnoticed.” 

Osferth’s head shot up at once. “She knows?” 

“I meant amongst the men. As far as I know, Y/N has no idea.”

“Oh.” 

An amused Uhtred watched his shoulders visibly sag. “I’ve never seen someone look so disappointed and relieved all at once.” 

“I don’t know what to do,” Osferth sighed, his gaze returning to the sparring match before him. You had just managed to knock Sihtric to the ground, laughing as you helped him back up. 

“You could try talking to her,” Uhtred suggested, a wicked gleam in his eye. 

Osferth looked at him sideways. “I am not you, Lord.” 

Your brother hummed. “No, you are not.” 

When he said nothing more, Osferth rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m going inside-” 

“No, you are not.” 

Huffing, he sat back down. “Why, Lord?” 

“You will talk to her,” Uhtred decided. “You’ve been yearning long enough.” 

Osferth frowned. “And what if it goes wrong, or- or what if she doesn’t like me? I can’t ruin our friendship, Lord. It’s not something I want to lose.” 

“You have a choice, Baby Monk. Either you take a risk and maybe get somewhere, or you can remain silent and get nowhere at all.” 

Before Osferth could respond to that, you and Sihtric approached the two of them.

“Did you see me knock Sihtric on his arse?” you snickered, leaning on your sword slightly. 

Uhtred smiled. “I did, ástin mín.” 

You looked across to Osferth, but his gaze remained fixed on the ground for some reason. 

“Do you two want to come to the alehouse with me?” you suggested, hoping Osferth would respond, but your brother spoke up first. 

“I think I’ll miss it today,” he said. “I’m going home to my wife.” 

“And I’m going to mine,” Sihtric added, but you already knew that. 

“S’pose it’ll just be us, then,” you smiled at Osferth, “unless you’ve also got a wife that I don’t know about.” 

Finally, he looked up at you and returned your smile. “Lucky for you, I haven’t.” 

~~

The alehouse was bustling when you arrived, but you managed to wangle a small spot in the back corner, half-hidden by a wooden beam. It was cosy enough, and neither of you minded one bit. 

As you sipped on your ale, you quietly observed the man before you. Every time your eyes dropped to your mug, Osferth’s gaze would find itself back on you - although he was trying to be subtle, you noticed, and it amused you to no end. 

“You’re awfully quiet, Y/N. Is something bothering you?” 

Osferth received a grin in reply, one that made his heart flutter in his chest.

“Not at all. I was just waiting for you to say something. I’ve realised I talk far too much, see, so I thought you might like a turn first.” 

“You don’t talk too much,” he said at once, his expression hardening. “I don’t mind. Why, has anyone told you that you do?” 

“No,” you assured him. “Just some introspection, I s’pose.” 

His features softened at that. “Perhaps you should do a little more of that, then,” he smiled, “if that’s your conclusion.” 

“Perhaps,” you chuckled. 

After a moment, he took a rather large swig of his drink. “You fought really well today,” he said, his gaze meeting yours. For the first time, you felt you saw something else in his eyes, something beyond his usual fondness for you, but you could not be certain. 

“Thank you,” you replied, beaming at him. “You… did see me knock Sihtric on his arse, didn’t you?” 

“Of course I did,” he answered, “and I thoroughly enjoyed it, too.” 

Both of you laughed then, only breaking eye contact to take another well-needed sip of your drink. Your heart was starting to beat uncomfortably quickly, and you suddenly felt the need for a little extra confidence just by sitting across from him. 

“You and Uhtred seemed deep in discussion about something,” you pointed out. “Was it something important?” 

Osferth exhaled before answering. “It was - it is. It’s really important.” 

“Care to share?” 

He frowned into his cup before finally answering, refusing to meet your gaze once again. “I like you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’d hope so.”

Despite whatever he was seemingly wrestling with, his eyes momentarily shot up to give you an exasperated look. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sorry. Go on?”

“What I meant was…”

He trailed off for a moment.

“Yes?”

“Y/N,” he groaned. “Give me a second.”

You grinned. “Alright. Sorry.”

Although you were being as patient as you could, the time he spent poring over his drink was beginning to feel like an eternity. Above all else, you did share Uhtred's blood... and your brother wasn't exactly famous for either his tact or his patience.

"D'you have feelings for me or something?"

His head shot up at this but, despite what you had expected, he didn't deny it. Instead-

"Yes. I do."

And for once, it was your turn to be silent. You felt incapable of saying or doing anything except staring at him.

The silence that descended upon the two of you stretched on for an uncomfortably long time as you processed the news with wide eyes. Osferth was beginning to fidget uncomfortably, his eyes fixed on his mug of ale - this silence could not bode well for him, surely-

“So do I.”

At once, his head shot up again, and if this moment was not so serious, you might have laughed at the comically shocked expression on his face. His eyes were wide and his lips parted, as though he truly had not expected such an answer from you.

“For you, I mean,” you added stupidly. “Not - not me, obviously.”

Why on earth would you say that?

Osferth stared at you for a moment, an unreadable look in his eyes, before he started laughing. Soon, you joined in, the two of you in fits of giggles, perhaps brought on by happiness or sheer relief that your feelings were mutual.

When they eventually subsided, you regarded him with pure fondness�� though there was a gleam in your eye, too. At once, he picked up on it and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” he questioned, his lips quirking up into a smile.

You grinned at him, reaching across the table to take his hand. You didn’t miss the faint dusting of pink on his cheeks when you did so.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Laughing, he obliged at once and stood up to walk home with you. And for once, neither of you let go of the other.

[mcybree]

In his head. I wanted a blorbo-themed phone wallpaper so I made one for myself ig

as my lockscreen (yay!!) + no houses version

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

call 911 there's been a gay on gay crime

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.

anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?

welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)

word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY

i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs. — susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh

take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.

also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.

i. peanut

for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.

many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.

the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:

Look at me, Johnny, look at me!

almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.

more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.

I gotta tell Johnny! No time. I gotta see Johnny now. Gotta help Johnny. What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…

(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:

Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!

do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)

(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)

overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.

crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.

while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.

for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.

again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.

basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.

ii. lola

with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.

however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!

even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.

to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.

we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.

ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.

she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.

in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:

Johnny and I were on the best date ever.

(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)

a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.

Someone get Johnny! Johnny's gonna get you for this. Johnny is gonna kill you!

but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...

You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!

iii. two faces of the same medal

if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).

for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.

each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)

they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.

basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.

now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.

like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.

this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.

this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)

i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3

it almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone) than play a supporting role if i can't get the starring role -- starring role, marina and the diamonds

[leatherjacketed]

Cain is a relatable character because I, too, would give Dean Winchester whatever the fuck he wanted after he spread his legs on a kitchen table in front of me, even to the detriment of the world

[lostinw0nderlandd]

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

[jewishcissiekj]

Jedi Masters as parents

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of The Clones | Shatterpoint | The Clone Wars Season 1 Episode 13 - Jedi Crash | The High Republic: A Test of Courage

[dustmint]

I have posted a fic :D!!

Summary below:

"It's just as real as you are, down here. Now, let's see how easy it is for you to snoop around the unconscious without a head...”

—

Mind Lanyon cuts off Hyde's head, this is surprisingly not a good thing

[bookdragon-shenanigans]

Second Signet Analysis: Distance Wielding

Welcome to the first in a long series of posts where I do a round up of all of the "Violet Second Signet" theories in hopes to provide a (hopefully) complete list of all possible ideas so when Onyx Storm releases you won't be clowned because at least you can say, "Hey! I saw a theory post on this once!". 🤡🤡🤡

So since RY dropped the bomb that violet’s second signet has manifested in IF, my brain has been going BONKERS racking up possible signets. I’ve currently settled down on one theory that I guess could be correct. (Idk honestly) (or at least that’s what I’d write if I was in RY’s place)

VERY BIG DISCLAIMER: Although I try to stay neutral, some things in this post is my personal opinion. You do not need to agree with them and neither am I asking you to.

Anyways with that over, let’s start the analysis.

FOURTH WING/IRON FLAME SPOILERS AHEAD

Obviously the starting post had to be distance wielding because duh.

What is Distance Wielding?

As the name suggests, Distance Wielding lets a rider travel large amounts of distance within a short period of time (I'm going to guess it's just teleporting but with a fancier name?). As RY herself states-

“Are you a distance wielder?” I’ve only read about two riders in all of history who could cross hundreds of miles in a single step. -Rebecca Yarros, Chapter 55, Iron Flame

Now, it is to be mentioned that it was one of the only elements/signets that were actually name dropped during the second signet conversation.

There are many hints that Violet might be a distance wielder:

Violet is often described as extremely quick

There is one scene in Iron Flame which could either be a genius hint or bad editing:

I jolt upright in bed, reaching for my throat and gulping lungful after lungful of air, but there’s no cut, no ache, and when I turn the mage light on with lesser magic and a twist of my hand, I see there’s no blood, either. “Of course there isn’t,” I whisper aloud, the raw sound cutting through the silence of my bedroom as the first hints of sunlight lighten the sky to purple beyond my window. “It’s just a fucking nightmare.” There’s nothing that can touch me here, Xaden asleep beside me. [Xaden isn't supposed to be in Aretia if my timeline is correct.]

 Distance wielding is a signet that “Hasn’t been seen in centuries”. Do you know who also hasn’t been seen in centuries? ANDARNA.

Andarna always says “I’ll be right where you need me” and if that isn’t suspicious then idk what is

My opinion (?):

I was thinking distance wielding for violet at one point too. But then this appeared:

(some parts of quote cut out because it’s irrelevant)

“What’s your signet?” Mom shouts, but I lack the strength to lift my head. “Hasn’t manifested,” Aaric answers in a panic. -Chapter 64, Iron Flame

Now, from a writer's point of view, why would RY mention this line if not for it to be relevant? Aaric has bonded a pretty powerful blue dragon and his signet hasn't manifested.

It adds up to Aaric’s personality too. He ran away from home and is still trying to get away from his father. He's spent the entirety of IF running away. So distance wielding is perfect for him seeing as it can let him travel extremely quick (aka amazing for fleeing)

Anyways, that is all for this one cause the brainstorm has become a brainfog and I cant legitimately think anything rn. Let me know if I missed anything (please 🥺🥺🥺) and other signet theories you have so I can make sure I didn't miss anything!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Your butterfly Howdy- so so so obsessed!! please tell me you thoughts I love him!! The thought of him simply falling from his chrysalis in a big sopping mess is so real™ , true butterfly moment

i would be Delighted to Talk. i always am. i have many thoughts always about everything. especially This. gonna add a cut so there's not a wall of text on my blog

okay so 1) i don't think he'd give any warning that he's gonna turn into a chrysalis. probably because he wouldn't realize it's happening bc like... those good ol caterpillar instincts took over <3 also it probably made him very very eepy

in his perspective, he took a nap and woke up spontaneously Different. everybody else had to deal with a solid few weeks of him being a chrysalis. and it's not like he was resting inside it - there is soooo much going on in metamorphosis, caterpillars/butterflies Do Not Rest At All

so when he emerges from the chrysalis (as a pathetic wet rag of a man <3) he's just... so out of it. his memory is a little fucky for a bit, he's weak, & he's exhausted to the point where the only time he's awake is to eat (gotta get that energy back!). that's it. he's dead asleep, wakes up, demolishes an entire bowl of fruit, and passes back out. can't even speak coherently.

he slowly gains lucidity until he's functional. he has a small period of time where he's kind of delirious/loopy from an overdose on Sleep, and it's hell on earth for everyone to deal with. i like to think that his main Watchers during this time are Poppy and Barnaby, both bc they're both big enough to wrangle him and bc of obvious reasons. (Poppy is a worrier and Barnaby is in love with Howdy)

when Howdy's loopyness wears off, he's still very tired and a bit spacey, but hey! he reopens the bodega! not that he needs to, since everyone was getting stuff from it anyway. he has a lot of IOU's in the never-used cash register <3 and lots of sweet notes. everyone missed him <3

so for a while when he's functional-but-Exhausted, he's a bit of a grouch. he simply does not have the energy to deal with Shenanigans and Excitement. if anyone walks into the bodega he's basically like "get your shit and get out, thank you, bye". he still sometimes nods off at the counter. eepy eepy bug.

and i don't think he'd really like his new appearance at first? i get the vibes that he Didn't want to pupate OH MY GOD THAT'S THE WORD! I'VE BEEN USING CHRYSALIZE WHICH ISNT EVEN A WORD BC I FORGOT 'PUPATE'. FUCK!, so he was subconsciously putting it off and was able to live for such a long time as a caterpillar.

but oopsie! he lost the battle of biological will! now he's got So Much Fluff and wings and claws and longer antennae and like... he's blue now. that would probably be at least a little unsettling, especially since he didn't realize it was going to happen. also he has to tailor all of his clothes to fit the wings and the Fluff.

plus, i imagine butterfly/moth wings are a Bitch to deal with. they don't fold like bird or bat wings, and they're kinda delicate - though due to Howdy's size, i'm sure they're more durable than a normal butterfly's - so i bet they are Constantly In The Way. (Barnaby probably makes a joke about how "Eddie's supposed to be the clumsy one" after Howdy knocks over a display with his wings for the umpteenth time. cue Barnaby getting kicked out of the store)

it takes a while for Howdy to get them under Control. they'd probably give away ever emotion he has. angry/frustrated? fluttering like crazy. thinking happy/fluffy thoughts or daydreaming? slow opening-closing. sad/pensive? droopy wing cape. stressed/high-strung? closed tight like a book. etc.

(similarly, his antennae are Very expressive! this is not something he can control unless he focuses extra hard. within a week Frank has memorized what each curl and twitch means)

but once Howdy has reconciled with his new appearance & has wrangled his wings, He Is So Fruity And Even More Eccentric. he fell outta that chrysalis and went "im gay now! 🧚‍♂️💅" kidding Kidding. kind of.

idk why, just... i feel like he gets a confidence boost. he realizes hes a Pretty Boy™️. he's like "this is what it must feel like for Eddie when he does drag". he's got that extra fruity Flair yk yk.

and sure, flowers are a little more distracting to Howdy than they used to be, prefers fruit over greenery, and he can't resist taking a short break every day to sun his wings, but other than that things are mostly normal. he's just extra pretty now.