#How long has this been in the drafts?

[moldy-flowers]

Izuna x Tobirama au in which Izuna or Tobirama is kidnapped by the others clan and held captive but Tobirama slowly comes to the horrifying realisation that izuna is a yapper

(RELATED TO THIS POST IN WHICH I TALK ABOUT AN HC THAT ALL UCHIHAS ARE SECRETLY YAPPERS BUT ONLY TO LIKE, ONE PERSON)

See, now Tobirama doesn't know about the whole "there's only one person they'll be comfortable yapping to" and he thinks that this may be some weird tactic to get information out of him.

Like Tobirama, kidnapped in enemy territory. He's thinking through every situation possible. He could get out. Except someone with equal power to him just walked through the door, he closes his eyes and looks away, as long as he's looking away they can't get him. He knows who he is just by the way he walks, the way he breathes and the way his heart beats.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He stops approximately a metre away from him.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

He crouches down, getting eye-level with Tobirama.

Ba-bum, Ba-dum.

Tobirama would not submit. No matter the torture he be put through by the Uchiha before him. He had danced with swords in the midst of the evanescent flames with Izuna, he felt the burn of the fire and the cool sweat dripping down his temple. He knew all of that Bastards tricks, how to counter them and how to block them.

Ba-dum, Badum.

Izuna opened his mouth to speak, pausing for a short moment to collect his thoughts. 'I will not yield, I will not yield,' Tobirama chanted to himself silently, mind racing he of every angle he could go at this. He knew Izuna well enough to know what his counter would be. But he knew Izuna would be thinking of ways to counter his counter attack.

"Do you know the breed of dog that's native to the mountains in the East? The small ones with the fluffy coat."

Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum.

"...What?"

Oops went on a bit of a writing spree whoopsie daisy's!!!!

But ANYWAYS you get the jist. Tobirama sits there really really confused while Izuna talks his ear off. Like Izuna cannot physically control himself from the yaps. Like their convos are 25% Izuna angrily insulting Tobirama for some sort of information and 25% is him Snarkily yapping about anything that interests him and 50% willing him to open his eyes in silence, like way to close to Tobirama's face. (It's a scare tactic, obviously!!)

Tobirama is originally upset confused and pissed off till Izuna brings up Madara. Tobirama is like "This is my chance im gonna learn all their weaknesses" Izuna complains about how Madara idk is way too strict with routines or something and Izuna was just a little tiny itsy bitsy bit late and he got chewed out. Its not like Izuna did it on purpose‼️ Usually he's very punctual (kind of) but a bunch of suitors kept bothering him‼️ oh uhmm btw bc he's like 19-20 (he was like 24 when he died i think) now and bunch of people of the clan want to get married to him bc Madara has made it clear he won't be taking any wives and threw them all on Izuna, anyways isn't it so rude for Madara to be mad at that like its his fault anyways that Izunas late and omg you'll never guess what he said during training too.

So Tobirama has technically picked up some good information but not really like what he was expecting? He knew that he'd have to read between the lines to try and actually get any actual info that would help him but he just really doesnt know what to do with what he was told. Like he didn't want to know that Madara keeps getting into arguments with the lady that trades fruits in the North East East centre of the Uchiha district over how 1 watermelon should not cost 26 apples. But uhh... its nice to know??

At some point Izuna storms into the room and yells at Tobirama cause Izuna assumes that Tobirama has used that weird idiot fucked up brain of his to make a jutsu that forces Izuna to yap. Like, Izuna can be a little yappy sometimes but it's never this bad and NEVER to a prisoner what did that bastard do to him‼️‼️

This whole time Tobirama actually assumed that it was some stupid tactic to make him talk, but apparently Izuna is under as much stress as he is. Well, not really but he's in an amount of stress that is not insubstantial

I cant think of anything else for this one someone do it for me!!!!

OR if we go the Senju kidnapped Izuna route it could just be Tobirama trying to get information from Izuna and all Izuna will talk about is random bullshit that's kind of relevant and maybe a little helpful but like only really specifically. Like the Senju are totally prepared to fight that one Uchiha with the three ponytails who snores, not loud, but really squeaky like.

They think Izuna is just immune to intimidating tactics but in all reality they're working, but working in a way that he's like "If I'm being interrogated cruely here then what's happening to the Uchiha what if they're all dead omg oh no omg" he just misses his home and he doesn't know if Madara or the clan is okay without him there he is literally in the worst state of his life and when hes anxious he starts to yap and its especially bad when he's with Tobirama. Like the words are just flowing out neither he nor Tobirama can stop it. Like at some point Tobirama isn't even trying to use scare tactics anymore he just sits there and listens to Izuna anxiously waffle about literally everything. Like just when Tobirama thinks he has spoken about literally everything that can be spoken about but somehow Izuna just keeps talking.

And like at some point Izunas throat is a little raw bc he has been speaking non stop for like two weeks and he's trying desperately to keep quiet, he's like spaced out multiple times and not realised what he's been saying for all he knows he's told Tobirama all of his clans secrets and hes getting more and more anxious and just when Izuna manages to stop his 1 hour rant about the bird that used to follow him around and shit on his food there's just like a minute of silence that Izuna desperately wants to fill with the rest of the story about the bird (He still has yet to tell Tobirama about the bird somehow projectile shitting onto lamb he had yet to trade, but bc of the crap on the meat nobody would take it and he swears he heard that bird laughing he KNOWS it!!!!) And he's tweaking trying to keep quiet, till suddenly Tobirama starts talking!! He's lowered his guards!!

Ofc Tobirama isn't going to like tell Izuna all of the clan secrets, but he tells a short tale about Hashirama gambling his shoes away to a six year old child and having to walk home shamefully while Tobirama stared on in silence. Izuna, who has only seen Hashirama in the most serious of circumstances, almost crys from laughter (his vocal cords are DYING) Izuna, after getting a drink of water then tells a story about Madara getting a squirrel tangled in his hair, and not noticing the crying critter for about 5 hours. After this event there was then a game among clansmen, "How many things can we put in Madaras hair before he notices" Tobirama thinks this is hilarious of course, and the both of them bond over their brothers being absolute fucking idiots.

And in like a meeting where everyone wants to know what information Tobirama is getting, and he, who is still on a high after sharing a good laugh with his prisoner, tells everyone about the game. Now- they have word that there will be a battle in the land of ice quite soon, (why? I don't know why are you asking me) and Hashirama feels all left out,,, he wants to stuff random crap into Madaras hair too!!!!

Madara, of course, is so not happy about this WHERE the hell is his brother he is tweaking the fuck out and this battle will be the one where Hashirama dies. The clan has literally been in the worst panic ever since ever and nobody is okay. Even the mean fruit lady looked upset!! They have seventeen different invasion plans and all of them are gory and very sort of glass half empty situation. Like everyone genuinely believes Izuna is either dead or dying and has been traumatized on every level.

Hashirama however has different plans (apart from the plans to put feathers in Madaras hair) see he's a smart lad and he's noticed that Tobirama is a lot more chipper than he used to be. And being the good brother is, he spies on them both. And it was heartwarming!! I mean it was a little mortifying hearing his beloved brother and Izuna laugh at the time Hashirama tried to cut his own bangs and absolutely tear him to shreds but after he got over that he was absolutely giddy!! They're just like Him and Madara were back then frfr!! This could be their chance for peace!!! I mean, out of all of them Izuna was the one who was the most against a peace treaty!!! He doesnt seem too against it now seeing as he's comfortable enough to have general banter with Tobirama!!! Oh well they're quiet now, wait no they're not, holy shit are they making out wait what no maybe its not like him and Madara uh oh maybe he should leave this feels a little private um. Uh..

I don't really want to think of the details on how Izuna actually gets out cause that sounds boring so like Hashirama probably assured Madara all is well or whatever and said some talk-no-jutsu shit to calm Madara down and bring him to some peace grounds or something and get Tobirama to get Izuna back. Which Tobirama doesn't want to do but despite Tobirama being funny and interesting and so cool Izuna really really wants to see his brother and clan mates again and he will chew through Tobirama if it means getting home.

Anyway I'm thinking the war ends with like Izuna getting sent from the Uchiha to marry Tobirama as like a peace offering or smth. The Uchiha are like really sympathetic towards Izuna like "Oh we're so sorry it had to be you this must be so hard for you I saw how you were like totally interested in the women of the clan" and Izunas like "Ikrrr its so terrible I'm sooo totally sorry i couldn't marry any of the girls of the clan boooo :("

Happy ending, TobiIzu are together, Izuna can yap freely, bc of the newly opened trade paths the price of watermelons has lowered to 14 apples, Madara has multiple caterpillars in his hair and almost all of both of the clans have lost respect for Madara and Hashirama and now treat them as those silly guys and not powerful political figures.

[brightdeadthing]

love as recognition

anna gavalda / friedrich nietzsche / clarice lispector / jandy nelson / rebecca perry / mhairi mcfarlane

[anishenanigans]

[guy whose heart is an autoclave voice] yeah man lately ive just been feeling like this great unstable mass of blood and foam yknow

[novaneondream]

i promised you 🤍

[nightrizer]

I don’t really know much about making convincing fakemon, but here’s my attempt at a budgie pokemon (been wanting a real budgie pokemon so bad lol). I’d like to think they’d be pure flying in both stages with gender differences based on real budgies. Also, their forehead feathers in the 2nd stage glow in the dark, similarly to how real budgies glow under blacklight.

[halliserres]

Kaworu said he loved me. It was... it was the first time someone told me they loved me. He was like me, and like Ayanami. I loved him too.

[jaggybot3000]

post juno incident

[anghraine]

It's interesting (if often frustrating) to see the renewed Orc Discourse after the last few episodes of ROP. I've seen arguments that orcs have to be personifications of evil rather than people as such or else the ethics of our heroes' approach to them becomes much more fraught. Tolkien's work, as written, seems an odd choice to me for not wrangling with difficult questions, and of course, more diehard fans are going to immediately bring up Shagrat and Gorbag.

If you haven't read LOTR recently, Shagrat and Gorbag are two orcs who briefly have a conversation about how they're being screwed over by Sauron but have no other real options, about their opinions of mistakes that have been made, that they think Sauron himself has made one, but it's not safe to discuss because Sauron has spies in their own ranks. They reminisce about better times when they had more freedom and fantasize about a future when they can go elsewhere and set up a small-scale banditry operation rather than being involved in this huge-scale war. Eventually, however, they end up turning on each other.

Basically any time that someone brings up the "humanity" of this conversation, someone else will point out that they're still bad people. They're not at all guilty about what they're part of. They just resent the dangers to themselves, the pressure from above, failures of competence, the surveillance they're under, and their lack of realistic alternative options. The dream of another life mentioned in the conversation is still one of preying on innocent people, just on a much smaller and more immediate scale, etc.

I think this misses the reason it keeps getting brought up, though. The point is not that Shagrat and Gorbag are good people. The point is that they are people.

There's something very normal and recognizable about their resentment of their superiors, their fears of reprisal and betrayal that ultimately are realized, their dislike of this kind of industrial war machine that erases their individual work and contributions, the tinge of wistfulness in their hope of escape into a different kind of life. Their dialect is deliberately "common"—and there's a lot more to say about that and the fact that it's another commoner, Sam, who outwits them—but one of the main effects is to make them sound familiar and ordinary. And it's interesting that one of the points they specifically raise is that they're not going to get better treatment from "the good guys" so they can't defect, either.

This is self-interested, yes, but it's not the self-interest of some mystical being or spirit or whatnot, but of people.

Tolkien's later remarks tend to back this up. He said that female orcs do exist, but are rarely seen in the story because the characters only interact with the all-male warrior class of orcs. Whatever female orcs "do," it isn't going to war. Maybe they do a lot of the agricultural work that is apparently happening in distant parts of Mordor, maybe they are chiefly responsible for young orcs, maybe both and/or something else, we don't know. But we know they're out there and we know that they reproduce sexually and we know that they're not part of the orcish warrior class.

Regardless of all the problems with this, the idea that orcs have a gender-restricted warrior class at all and we're just not seeing any of their other classes because of where the story is set doesn't sound like automatons of evil. It sounds like an actual culture of people that we only see along the fringes.

And this whole matter of "but if they're people, we have to think about ethics, so they can't be people" is a weird circular argument that cannot account for what's in LOTR or for much of what Tolkien said afterwards. Yes, he struggled with The Problem of Orcs and how to reconcile it with his world building and his ethical system, but "maybe they're not people" is ultimately not a workable solution as far as LOTR goes and can't even account for much of the later evolution of his ideas, including explicit statements in his letters.

And in the end, the real response that comes to mind to that circular argument is "maybe you should think about ethics more."

[ourg0dsal]

I don't know... it's probably been said before. But it's the fact that Gideon was originally supposed to be of the "two hundred dead daughters and sons" that she wasn't supposed to live. She wasn't supposed to live a life intrinsically connected to Harrow's, or ever leave the ninth. She was destined to die and become one with Harrow. All just to live long enough to die and become one with Harrow.

I'm drunk so maybe in the morning this won't make any sense, but if Gideon was always going to die. Was always going to become a catalyst of Harrows power. And there is a reflection of her importance to Harrow in the power she gives Harrow. Had she died as part of the 200 she wouldn't have done anything extraordinary at all. But she lived and loved Harrow and became the catalyst for lyctorhood. A power equal in everyway to her importance to Harrow.

I'm sure someone will get the vibes.

[sacredashes]

Male characters don’t seem to inspire this kind of public venting and vitriol.

Mythal (& Solas) // Anna Gunn's I Have a Character Issue

[courtesanofdeath]

Sakata Gintoki, the Corpse-Eating-Demon, Parfait-Eating-Demon

[demaparbat-hp]

Oh, Lala...

[aquaregiaart]

Haleth & Caranthir.

[deimostes]

happy pride post this hammer the hedgehog (transmasc amy rose)

(no ship tags please!)

[saintzweig]

bestfriend!tashi showing art and patrick how to properly eat someone eat ... by doing it on you :3 the four of you drunk off some beers you snuck into the boys' hotel room in the middle of the us open. tashi sat on the floor, leaning against the foot of the two beds pushed against each other. you're right next to her, laying your head on her thigh while playing with her hand that rested on your stomach. art and patrick across from you in just their pajamas and badly covered boners.

somehow, the conversation had moved from your college plans to how well you are in bed. patrick claims he's a sex god while art is more humble, and as far as you know, you and tashi pretty much had similar experiences which is pretty much just casual make out sessions (with others and each other) and mediocre sex with some boys you met at the tennis academy.

"i don't think i've ever orgasmed from head before" you absentmindedly confessed, watching at how the boys' eyes pretty much bulge out in surprise while tashi only hums, softly caressing the exposed skin of your torso.

"you mean like, were they bad or no one did it ... properly?" art formed his question carefully, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

you pursed your lips in thought, "i don't know, i guess like ... it felt weird, like they were all up in there. i don't think they knew what they were doing"

patrick took a sip from his drink, "aren't we supposed to be all up in there? i thought it was like, don't be afraid to be messy and shit like that"

"well yeah, i guess" you reply with a shrug, "it would be okay if it felt good but it didn't, so..."

tashi moves her hand from your stomach up to your hair, raking her fingers through. "have you ever made a girl orgasm like that?" her question directed to patrick. you and art turn towards his direction in anticipation.

"i'm sure i have"

"ah" tashi smirks, "so it's not definite"

patrick scoffs, rolling his eyes "have you?"

"yeah" your head snaps upwards to meet her gaze as she looks down on you, the two boys across sporting a surprised look on their faces.

"you have?" you asked, tashi wasn't exactly the straightest person you know but you never knew that she had actually done it with another girl, was it someone else on the tennis team? a classmate?

"so how do you do it then?" art innocently asks, leaning closer. tashi only shrugs, her fingers still moving gently through your hair. "just .. feel and observe, i guess. there's no techniques or anything, it feels different to everyone so you just have to figure out what makes them feel good."

"you sound like you've done it quite a lot" your voice was soft, a slightly puzzled expression on your face and tashi wasn't sure if it was jealousy, disbelief or amazement. she nods, "a few times, yeah"

patrick sits up properly, now on his knees and leaning over with his palms on the floor. "but how do you, you know– move your tongue?"

"that's really up to you, and it really isn't just about licking– you can suck" the curly haired girl shrugs nonchalantly.

"suck?" the two boys repeated in unison, making tashi sigh. "it would be easier if i can show you"

and before you knew it, their gazes land on you. the four of you have done ... some things but never one that crossed a certain line, but that doesn't mean it never crossed your mind. it did, multiple times and now you're here.

the next thing you know, you're laying on the bed. propped up on your elbows as you watch tashi take her place between your legs. your heart racing against your chest as you feel her fingers ghost over your thighs, slowly pushing them apart. "this okay?" and you only nod, not trusting your voice at that moment.

the two boys knelt beside the bed, undoubtedly palming themselves at the sight. "just get on with it, damn" patrick calls out, earning a glare from tashi and a nudge from art, "shut the fuck up dude" the blonde mutters with his gaze still fixed on you.

you lift your hips up as tashi begins to tug your shorts down, revealing your lace panties. her breath hitches at the sign, purple lace panties with a wet patch. "were you waiting for this?" she laughs, you tell her it's laundry day.

she places a hand right next to your head, leaning down to place a kiss on your neck, your jaw and working her way up to your lips. there was almost a sigh of relief from you, which was quickly interrupted by a gasp as she pressed her fingers against your clothed cunt. "tash" you moan against her lips, "please."

and without wasting anymore time, your panties were thrown on the floor (which patrick quickly pocketed) and her mouth was on you. moist, warm, and incredibly skilled. tashi definitely knew what she was doing, sucking on your clit and occasionally tugging on it with her teeth, fucking your pussy with her tongue and then with her fingers. you were writhing on art's sheet uncontrollably– tugging on tashi's hair and attempting to pull her closer.

you weren't the only one that was noisy, patrick and art were furiously pumping each other off. the brunette placing his hand behind art's neck to pull him in, their teeth clashing slightly as they met in the middle. tongues furiously working against each other.

it was definitely embarrassing how quickly you felt the climax building up in the pit of your stomach, but who can blame you? this right in front of you was godly, tashi is a god. coming in to save you after everyone else has failed.

"a–ah" you cry out, hips bucking up in pleasure. "so close– fuck, tashi– i'm g'na cum" and she only moaned against you, you felt the vibration against your pussy, sending chills down your spine.

you were nearly blacking out, eyes rolled to the back of your head and you swear you were seeing stars.

and as soon as those words left your mouth, you squirted. for the first time ever. and it was right on your best friend's face. you whine as you ride it out, the two boys groaning at the sight as their members fall limp against their cum covered thighs.

it's safe to say that that event remained a topic for a long time (courtesy of patrick, "hey remember when we made you squirt for the first time?" followed by a slap on the head from tashi). and it definitely wasn't the last time.