#this has been in my drafts for a long time and i feel like this might have originated as a vague but yknow what
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childhood sweetheart material
oh my god!!! it's finally here, i made sure to change the posting settings this time!! i know it's not a bakery request but i've been writing them and i have a bunch in my drafts, i've got my sister editing them for me and hopefully one will be out soon... but for now enjoy my lovely's <3
pairing; carlos sainz jr x childhood best friend viviana martinez [original character]
blurb; this is a list of cute things childhood friend turned husband carlos sainz jr and his childhood friend turned wife viviana martinez do in my smau series that i'm working on called since we were eighteen, this story features a original character but for your reading pleasure, i've used 'you' and 'y/n' in this little snippet <3
currently playing; everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran "cause all i know is we said, "hello" and your eyes look like comin' home, all i know is a simple name and everything has changed, all i know is you held the door, you'll be mine and i'll be yours, all i know since yesterday is everything has changed"
from day one, you were the one;
your families have been friends for the longest time and while carlos was born a few years before you, you've been friends since you could babble at eachother
carlos can in fact still remember meeting you for the very first time, how tiny you were and his mother still has the photo of three year old carlos kissing your forehead but her personal favorite was one of you two falling asleep on eachother in the backseat of a car when she was dropping you off after a play-date
and so the years kept passing;
as years go by, you and carlos slowly begin to drift apart pursuing different careers and life goals, you knew from a young a age that you loved carlos but didn't realize it was in the romantic way until far later in life
during your teenage years, your parents thought you two were dating and no matter how much your denied it, they never believed you but that was probably due to the platonic to you both kisses you would place on eachothers cheeks or foreheads
when you were nineteen and about to move away and not see carlos for the next four to five years, not that you knew that at the time, you'd begged him to be your first time, it was one of those cliche moments of not wanting to go to college a virgin but he turned you down, saying he didn't want to ruin what you had, what a joke that seemed like now
when you two were young, around the ages of fourteen and eleven, you joked about marrying eachother one day, you even made a contract about how if you were still single after you'd turned twenty two that you'd tie the knot with eachother but as you grew apart, that contract was long forgotten about
coming back to eachother;
you found eachother again at a family reunion, you'd arrived early and got talking with his mother, catching up about life when she brought out old photo albums and low and behold at the back of the album was a paper or contract that you'd long forgotten had existed
you'd been sipping a drink in the garden when you heard the familiar voice, you'd gotten to talking when the topic of relationships came up and you discovered the both of you were single
you joked about tying the knot but he joked back about taking him to dinner first, which you did for giggles but you just fell in love with talking to eachother and began to meet up more often which eventually led to confessed feelings that had been hidden for too long, this left the rest as history
telling your families;
you were both nervous to say the least, your parents had been friends since they themselves were children, little did either of you know both of your sisters had already started to notice the change between you, the little stares and stolen glances but they had noticed it too late.. about three years too late in fact
the two of you had been planning to tell them sooner but you didn't want to give them false hope in case you broke up but you began to like the privacy and how it was just the two of you and before you knew, the two of you were approaching your three year anniversary
it was actually at your anniversary dinner that carlos proposed, you had both just stepped off a twelve hour flight and decided that instead of going out you'd get pizza
carlos thought there would be no better time than when you both sat on the couch eating pizza in comfy clothes to propose, you however almost lost it, you knew your answer was yes but instead of saying the first words out of your mouth were "you let me do this sweatpants" [if you've seen this video, i love you]
it was a week later at the traditional joint family dinner when everyone found out, your younger sister basically screaming her head off when she saw the ring on your finger as you reached for your wine glass
"what is that!" she squealed to which you winced in return and carlos chuckled, your mother looked betrayed as she too just now noticed the ring adorning your finger "when did that happen, i didn't even know you were seeing someone" she asked flabbergasted.
"does this mean you and carlos aren't together" your youngest sister had asked, she was only ten but loved carlos so much, you and carlos shared a knowing look before he shrugged his shoulders and leaned over to kiss you... that set off a frenzy among your family members
when it comes to work;
you work as an actress in horror / thriller films but you absolutely hate being scared, your the biggest wuss carlos knows but his favorite thing about your job is that he has a video on his phone of when one of your cast-mates scared the shit out of you and you screamed like the scream queen that you are
you often come home from set covered in fake blood to which carlos can't help but panic every time thinking your injured before he catches his breath and then helps you wipe it all off but not without you covering him in fake blood first
carlos quite often comes to your photo-shoots and one time the photographer wasn't happy with how the photos were working out, said that their was no real chemistry between you and the male model you had been working with and so he called a break during which you hung out with carlos, sitting in his lap and just enjoying eachothers company when the photographer caught sight of you both and it was like a light bulb went off in his head, that was the birth of the photo you had forever pinned to your instagram account
carlos always insisted on watching your movies, no matter how often you told him he didn't need to you would still come home to find him curled up on the couch with pinon as he pointed and mumbled "there's our girl" in his rough tired voice
your not afraid to show your support to carlos at his races either, attending as a long lost but now returned childhood friend at first but then eventually as his girlfriend and then wife but nobody knew that
while lando was basically carlos's best friend, to you he was your paddock child and you never let him forget it either
one of carlos's favorite things about your job was getting to see you in the gorgeous red carpet dresses, you would always show him and if he happened to be off racing, you'd facetime him instead, he loved being able to zip them up and feel your warm skin as he did it, his favorite dress was this one:
you were honestly carlos's biggest fan and without both his and his fans knowledge, you'd started an account on instagram where you posted the most outrageous things about him like this: which is one of your more tame posts btw
whenever carlos wins a race, gets on the podium or just no matter what place he gets, your wrapping your arms around him as soon as you can and whispering in his ear "i'm so proud of you mi sol"
kisses + cuddles;
there's different kinds of cuddles when it comes to yours and carlos's relationship, these include;
straddled cuddles were your sitting in his lap and wrapped around him, there is nothing sexual about it, just the two of you enjoying eachothers company
hugs from behind no matter where you are, in the motor-home or even the supermarket, carlos just likes to be holding you
and your personal favorite is when he's so exhausted and turns into the little spoon
and finally there's just this;
and then there's all the different kinds of kisses you two share
there's shoulder kisses most of which occur when carlos is hugging you from behind but they also happen in the early morning when carlos is awake and your still asleep but he just feels the need to kiss you in some way
thigh kisses, he loves to kiss your thighs and not just in the sexual way which he does indeed enjoy giving you but it also happens when he's laying in your hold with his head half in your lap and half resting on your legs
then there's the tippy toe kisses, the height difference between you and carlos was adorable but you often have to either stand on your tip toes or wear heels in order just to kiss him
then there's the kisses that you place all over his face after race cause no matter what place he comes, your always so happy for him and just need him to know how much you love him
then there's the kisses you have to tug at his shirt in order to give to him
there's the one where your kissing in bed, not in a sexual way but the 'i've missed you' loving way that has you rolling around and giggling, never wanting the kisses to end
and finally there's the kisses that both of you moaning in-between, it's these ones that normally led to your sexual encounters with eachother
touches and intimate moments;
you two have a habit of one of you two laying in bed, watching the other change in the morning or after a shower, you once said you trusted no one like how you trusted carlos and that's why you let him watch you change
then there's the times when either of you come home either from work or a race, so you sit behind eachother and gently massage the others shoulders
if your ever in the way which carlos says that you never are, he'll hook his fingers into your belt loops and gently scoot you out the way
carlos is the kind of boyfriend where if your too tired to move at the end of the day or after an event, he'll sit and gently wash your makeup from your face while your falling asleep
during the races that happen in colder countries, your often caught on camera pulling carlos close to hug him in order to warm up
your also often caught on camera walking through the paddock together with carlos's hand tucked into the back pocket of your jeans if you happen to be wearing them
and then one of your favorite things about your relationship was taking baths with carlos after a long day, feeling his body pressing against your own just brought you a sense of comfort and peace
dates [of sorts];
one of your favorite dates or even just times that you spend together is having pancake wars; where you two always try to one up eachother with your pancake recipes
whenever you guys go out for dinner, carlos always makes sure to give you the first bite of his food just in case you want to switch meals like you sometimes did
you would also often bring him lunch and end half the time end up staying so that you could eat together
he'll also sit and read you poetry late at night from your favorite poetry books
whenever you guys stay home and have date night in, carlos will often hover over your shoulder and wait to taste test the meal your cooking
then there are the museum dates you guys go on, art museums in particular have always been a part of your love for italian and spanish culture, a fan once took a photo of you and carlos in a museum where he was holding you up so that you could take photos of some of your favorite works of art
and finally and personally carlos's favorite was whenever you two went out for gelato, carlos loved the stuff and you loved taking photos of him
the little things;
just a list of all the little things that you and carlos do slash remember about eachother
your carlos's lock screen and he's yours
he wears your hair ties on his wrist and carries period products in his travel bag just in case you need them in an emergency
he always messages you when your filming to make sure that you've been eating and drinking
the two of you know eachothers routines off by heart, like when he comes home from a morning run, you'll have the shower running and waiting for him
you have a love of classic literature and you often come home to find that he's deep cleaned your bookshelves
you take care of him when he's sick
he'd been whimpering and complaining of a sore throat all day, after a while you'd had enough so you decided to call his mother and ask what she once did when he was sick as a child, when you brought carlos a mug of manzanilla or homemade chamomile tea explaining you'd gotten the recipe from his mother, carlos knew right then and there that he was going to marry you
he once gifted you a stuffed bear and a bottle of his cologne for your birthday so that you had something to cuddle when he was gone and the cologne was for when you missed his smell.. he had to comfort you when you started crying
he loves knowing that you wear his shirts to bed, reminds him that your his
and finally with all the button ups that carlos wears, you often find yourself sewing buttons back onto them, carlos once found you on the couch furiously sewing buttons back onto around ten or so shirts that you'd discovered while doing the washing
no one touches the hair except for you;
when your bored, you often end up begging carlos to let you braid his hair... it's always a yes because ever since childhood, he could never say no to you
you also love to laugh at how messy and fluffed up his hair gets in the morning, the first time you'd seen it you burst out laughing which caused him to blush
down and dirty;
while not going to into detail, here's a list of some of the things you and carlos do in bed
carlos loves eating you out, as mentioned beforehand when discussing his love for giving you thigh kisses
another obvious one was the fact that carlos loved having his pulled during sex
then there's the guided grinding, where his hands gripped at your hips while grinding you down against him
carlos's favorite position to take you in is doggy and no, i personally think there's no explanation needed
carlos has a thing for choking too, you in fact introduced him to it
and finally while it not's something you explore very regularly, you also share a spitting kink
the wedding;
it's been described by friends and family as the most beautiful wedding they'd ever attended, there are photos in the wedding album of you and carlos shoving cake in eachothers faces and instead of a three course meal, you both served pizza at your wedding instead
nicknames;
your nicknames for carlos include; mi sol [my sun] mi vida [my life] papi and mi amor [my love]
carlos called you his wife all the time, including long before you two were married
his nicknames for you include; my wife, mi vida, mi amor and corazón [heart]
aesthetic playlist;
a list of songs that describe you, carlos and your relationship
young and beautiful by lana del ray
boyfriend by ariana grande ft social house
just friends by why don't we
we can't be friends [wait for your love] by ariana grande
never be the same by camila cabello
lay all your love on me by abba
senorita by shawn mendes ft camila cabello
older by isabel larosa
money money money by abba
too sweet by hozier
everything has changed by taylor swift ft ed sheeran [taylor's version]
teenager in love by madison beer
me gustas tu by manu chao
more songs like this can be found on their official playlist
and finally;
this is just how i picture you'd reveal your relationship to the public
movies.with.y/n
movies.with.y/n; my heart always knew it'd be you @ carlossainz55
#formula one#formula 1#formula one fanfiction#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz jr x reader#f1 x reader#f1 social media au#f1 fanfiction#f1 x you
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hi! congratulations on 500 followers! could you make the full nsfw alphabet list with Idia please? (sorry for the bad English)
🍓I POSTED!!! I've had this sitting in the drafts for a week and I finally decided to post it (YAY!!!). I've also got Jade's qued up for later today, and I'll be working on Azul and Floyds in my free time (when I get free time that is). Sorry I took so long to post, life has been tough on me and I just didn't have the tools to deal with it. I'll be back and posting irregularly until December when I can actually take time and write again.
Idia NSFW Alphabet!
A = Aftercare: Idia Shroud is the WORST at aftercare, and I say this with so much love and kindness to the walking punching bag that calls himself a man. Genuinely though, sex overstimulates him so badly, so he cannot handle anything after the fact. He’s the kind to roll over off you (more like slide you off him) and fall asleep immediately. Of course, he mumbles out something about it feeling good and all that stuff, but 9 times out of 10 he’s out like a light.
B = Body part: He is a thigh man. He doesn’t care if it's thick and meaty, he just wants to rest his head on it. Maybe give it a nibble, if you’d let him of course (consent is key, even for a dirty Otaku like him). For him… he doesn’t like most things about himself, but if you seem to like something about him a lot, he grows to like it too. So if you like his hair, it’s probably his hair, if you like his lips or teeth it’s them. (What can I say, he’s weak for you).
C = Cum: SALTYYYYY! He doesn’t take care of himself what did you expect. It’s unpleasant to taste, and there’s A LOT of it to taste. It’s a pretty thick consistency and really sticky, fun to play with and watch dribble down your stomach and face.
D = Dirty secret: He wants you to peg him. I wouldn’t say that’s much of a secret, but he thinks it is.
E = Experience: NONE. Zip, zero, zilch. I make fun of Malleus for being a Virgin, but IDIA IS A VIRGIN. He’ll blush to hold your hand, it’s that bad. However, he does watch a LOT of Porn (Hentai specifically), so he has… an idea of what to do. He’s really nervous first time around, but once he gets comfortable with you he’s pretty good, just a little unrealistic in his expectations sometimes.
F = Favorite position: Doggy! Especially if you’re wearing cute little puppy or kitty ears! He likes watching the way your back arches, and he’s a big fan of pulling your hair or squeezing your hips. Other than that, he loves face-sitting. Surrounded by your thighs, oh that’s a good death for Idia Shroud.
G = Goofy: Initially, he is entirely on accident. He wants to be serious and cool about it, but he’s like a blushing schoolgirl and making a million mistakes. His line delivery is so… cringe and embarrassing you can’t help but laugh. It humiliates him, but eventually, he learns to just embrace it, and he becomes pretty goofy. He loves cracking jokes just to see you smile, cause the one thing he loves more than your thighs has to be your pretty little smile.
H = Hair: I know it’s blue flames too, I just know it. That shit is not tamed either. Like he trims, but honestly it’s hard to control something that's constantly shifting and changing. And, before you ask, yes it does flare up with his emotions like his hair does too.
I = Intimacy: Depends… Idia isn’t someone I would ever describe as romantic, but he is a sweetie. He likes it hard and rough so it’s hard to say it’s very romantic, but he does like you close and he loves looking at you. You catch him smiling down at you like you’re some kind of goddess sometimes. You won’t catch him saying cheesy lines like how much he loves you or how pretty you are (cause it will actually kill him if he does).
J = Jack off: Mastrubating champ of NRC. He’s alone in his room 90% of the time with unlimited access to the internet and is also an Otaku. Sorry if you disagree, but you’re wrong. I know he gets off at least once a day, more if he has the time.
K = Kink: Another biter, he just loves marking you up and sending you off with a pretty bruise for everyone to see. He’s a sadomasochist too, depending on whose topping. He wants you to push him around and hit him, make him feel helpless, it’s his favorite thing. Also into pet play, cosplay, roleplaying, and… any kind of play honestly. The weirder the better for him.
L = Location: His room and his room alone. Maybe yours, but he does not trust anyone in your dorm to respect your privacy. Besides, if he’s in his room he knows where everything is, and he can ensure no one will be getting in and seeing you that way.
M = Motivation: Most things, honestly. Be nice to him? He’s hard. Be mean to him? He’s hard. Beat him in his favorite game and act all smug (he let you win)? He’s hard. Lose and pout about it? He’s hard. He’s a sensitive guy, okay, and he thinks everything you do is super hot. Not his fault.
N = No: Share or let someone watch. Absolute nos from him. The idea of sharing you with someone and you like them more? Hah, he’d kill himself. He’s also not a fan of anyone seeing either of you in such a compromising position. He’s too nervous and possessive to let that out of the privacy of his room. Also, this might be controversial, but I can’t see him being into any kind of sibling shit. Too weird for him, he’d never want to think of his precious little brother like that, so why would he want to think of you like that?
O = Oral: He prefers receiving because watching the way you tease him with your sultry gaze as he sinks impossibly further down your throat is… heavenly. Though he isn’t bad at giving either. His tongue is long and boy can that thing move, it can reach places you didn’t even know were possible. Plus his teeth nipping at your most sensitive areas? Praise the seven, that’s good shit.
P = Pace: Fast and rough. He likes to just go at it, and he doesn’t like to stop for anything. Prepare to be pounded into next week with no stops!
Q = Quickie: He likes them, and they’re pretty common, but they’re not his favorite. When he has sex, he likes going for more than one round, and the whole point of quickies is that they’re quick so he doesn’t prefer them.
R = Risk: Yeah, he’s game to try some more risky things, but he’ll back out so fast if he’s uncomfortable for even a second. There are some things he wouldn’t consider, like bringing it out of his room. He’s a big fan of risky texts though. Like, a video of you fucking yourself in the bathroom while he’s in a meeting with the other housewardens? No one’s gonna know if he takes care of himself quickly.
S = Stamina: He goes for multiple fast and quick rounds. He can usually do about four of them before he’s done for the night, but he’s willing to keep going if he doesn’t satisfy your needs along with his (sometimes).
T = Toys: He has a collection, actually, of really wild shit. Tentacles, ‘alien’ dicks, and even the infamous horse cock. He likes to put a bullet in you and control it from his room, watching you struggle to talk to your friends on the cameras he’s definitely allowed to have access to.
U = Unfair: He likes to tease, but he forgets to sometimes lol. He gets so caught up in his own pleasure that, occasionally, he’ll just forget he wanted to tease you and make you all sensitive and whiny. He also likes to be teased, so please feel free to torture him when you’re topping <3
V = Volume: He tries very hard to be quiet, but bless his soul he is not. He’s so whiny and whimpery and pathetic, it’s very cute. He wants you to make as much noise as possible so that he can hide his shame, but he’ll still cry into your ear since he can’t contain himself.
W = Wild card: He sometimes prints out the pictures you send to him (with permission) and keeps them in his desk. There’s no real reason why, because he has all of them digitally, but something about having physical pictures is more thrilling to him.
X = X-ray: Hehehe, oh Idia. It is long and it is thick, bless his dad’s genetics. I’m talking like almost seven inches big, like… he’s big. It’s veiny, with one really prominent one on the top that runs from the base to just below his tip. Which, by the way, is blue like his lips.
Y = Yearning: High, if that wasn’t made obvious before. He craves sex a lot, and it only seems to get worse after he gets with you. You’re just so pretty and perfect he can’t help it <3Z = Zzz: I said it at the start, but it’s near immediate. He gets tired easily after all that physical exertion, he just wants to nap and cuddle, you can clean up in the morning. Let him hold you :(
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#bunni's treats 🧁#idia shroud#idia shroud x reader#idia x reader#idia twst
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @cuips-not-cute! cuips_not_cute has six fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @cuips-not-cute:
he could be brave
blood is an aphrodisiac
honeyed affection
blinking red light
cyclical
"cuips is a master of taking the reader on an emotional roller coaster ride. The amount of times I've laughed and cried at the same time reading his fics have been too numerous to count. Especially the depth of the sex scenes and the character beats and growth they portray are gorgeous to read - and also very titillating. I love Steve and Eddie in every one of cuips stories, adore the little mannerisms they are given and the way they interact with each other and other characters. Besides the inspiring prose cuips can pull off a plot like few other people I've found so far - since blinking red light is still ongoing, I'll just point to cyclical for that. I'm very thankful to cuips for writing and posting these stories and for being a very active part of this lovely fandom." -- anonymous
Below the cut, @cuips-not-cute answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
i don’t even know. i was happily in the ofmd fandom when i watched season 4 almost three years ago now (oh god) and then the characters… they got me. i fear they’ll never leave.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
god, so many. they’re all kinda the same flavor though so i’ll list out what i’m always filtering for to find a new fic: bottom/sub eddie, creature/monster eddie, post s4, canon compliant, soft dom steve, sex pollen, spit kink, rimming (perhaps my FAVORITE ever thing to read), switch eddie/switch steve… the list goes on.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
probably also rimming. there’s just something so romantic about eating ass. and i really love to stick with post s4 canon compliant aus, too, i don’t think i’ve written an actual for real au yet, though i do have an idea for one after brl.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
i don’t know if i can pick!! my ao3 bookmarks host my many all-time faves, but if you wanna go by the fic i’ve reread the most it’s probably the affliction of the feeling. it’s so fucking good.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
YES!!! i have never written omegaverse!!! which is crazy, ‘cause i like it a LOT. i have a post-s4 omegaverse au kicking around in my head currently, and i cannot wait to sink my teeth into all the messy biology and politics that come with the omegaverse.
What is your writing process like?
chaotic, in a word. usually, i’ll get a fic idea while i’m balls-deep in writing another fic so i’ll shove it to the side and let it simmer while i finish that first one, then i’ll spend a good long while planning it out in ridiculous detail, and THEN i’ll start actually drafting. i like to have a fully fleshed out outline and a couple chapters written and edited before i start posting, and once posting begins i tend to deviate quite a bit from my outline but it’s all good fun.
Do you have any writing quirks?
definitely. i don’t like pointing them out for fear of other folks seeing them in everything i do, but they’re there. one that i don’t mind so much is my absolute abuse of the word “little.” everything is “a little” of this, “a little” of that, but i try to cut my usage down significantly while i’m editing.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
i always TRY to keep a schedule but… yeah. it never works. i’m far too busy for one, but attempts are made. i’d like to one day write a fic in full before posting it, because i think it’d be a whole lot better if i let it sit for that long but lord, i sure do like getting ao3 comments on every chapter. they make the writing motivation go WAY up.
Which fic are you most proud of?
brl, definitely. that fucker is LONG and i’m barely halfway through it. i think i’ve done a lot of cool things with it and i’m going to do some more cool things and i’ve made a lot of really awesome friends in the process of writing it so it’s got some pretty insane sentimental value to me. it’s definitely going to be a fic i’ll miss writing once i finish it, but that’s what the epilogue series is for!!!
How did you get the idea for blinking red light?
from another fic!!! @racketghost is the author of one of my favorite things i’ve ever read, which is the good omens zach and miri au, closed set (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320960/chapters/55862155 <- hyperlinked), wherein crowley has been lying about the existence of some angelic sex tapes to all of hell, and then he and aziraphale have to actually make the tapes. it’s awesome. it’s gorgeous. brl is one big giant love letter to this fic, because it means so fucking much to me and i think about it ALL the time.
When writing honeyed affection, what was something you didn’t expect?
hmm, i don’t know? ha is, i think, a pretty easygoing fic with lots and lots of porn stuffed inside it, and that was all i intended it to be so i cannot think of anything i was surprised by!!
What inspired blood is an aphrodisiac?
i just wanted to write vampire eddie. it was july ‘22, kas theories were everywhere, i had to try it. these days i think i would change a LOT about it because my ideas and hcs surrounding the characters have evolved significantly, but i’ll write vampire eddie again and “fix” everything i no longer like about biaa.
What was your favorite part to write from he could be brave?
…the fisting. i genuinely think some of my best writing is in that scene, and while i feel the same way about this fic as i do biaa, the fisting scene will always hold a special place in my heart. i’m very, very excited to write the fisting chapter in brl because of this scene. fisting rules.
How do/did you feel writing cyclical?
i wrote cyclical during a very weird few months of my life, so writing it was sort of my way of dealing with all the insane shit going on around me, and i think it shows. in a good way, though, because cyclical is a timeloop fic so it needed to be a little angsty and insane. i’m stupidly proud of that fic. @ryeallytired actually BOUND it into a PHYSICAL BOOK and SENT IT TO ME and when i tell you that is the singular most precious object i own, i mean it.
What was the most difficult part of writing blinking red light?
PLOTTING THAT BITCH. GOD. i’m so happy to be actually WRITING it now, the planning was genuinely so brutal. my issue was that i was sticking too close to the plot of closed set (<3) which just… did not work for steddie. closed set’s premise centers around crowley lying about making sex tapes, yes, but he lied about them to PROTECT aziraphale, which is the messiest, kindest, riskiest fucking thing ever. and it’s awesome. in the early planning stages of brl, i was trying to put eddie in the crowley role of lying about having made sex tapes with steve, but it reallyyy didn’t work. there was an oc and i absolutely hated him, plus i didn’t like what that premise was doing to eddie’s character… ugh. it was a MESS. it took several rubber duck-ing conversations with my brilliant friend @lollaika and a rewatch of zach and miri to finally realize that it had to be STEVE who brings up the idea of sex tapes so that he could protect eddie, rather than eddie bringing it up to save his own hide (yikes).
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
oooh, lots. reallyyyy loved chapter 8 of cyclical with all of the pov shifts, that was super fun to write. i also really enjoyed writing the dry humping/sex tape convo in the first chapter of brl, and i’m stupidly excited to write chapters 12, 13, 15, and 17, because of specific scenes that will happen in each.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
i do!! after brl is completed i’ll have to choose from two story ideas (because i cannot have two wips at once or i’ll get SO stressed), one being a semi-realistic steddie cowboy au based off my own experiences with growing up on a farm and featuring messy, earnest cowboys and not-fully-human eddie, and the other being the omegaverse au i want to write, which will have a very fun mix of vampire eddie, dubcon bitching, and accidental mating bites!!!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
i cannot think of anything!! this was super fun :D
Thank you to our author, @cuips-not-cute, and our anonymous nominator! See more of cuips_not_cute's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday#ao3 writer#steddie writers#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things
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of painkillers and lenience
...hello! 😭 I wrote this way back in April; it's been sitting in my drafts ever since. Chronologically, it takes place shortly following Atypical Occurrence.
I wasn't sure if I was ever going to post this. I suppose it's more a character study than a proper romantic installment :') but it's an exchange I'd been wanting to write for a long time.
you can find everything I've written in this universe here!
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Summary: Yves comes down with something. His best friend wonders where Vincent is, in all of this.
—
Perhaps it’s merciful that it’s on a Sunday that Yves wakes up with the slightest tickle in his throat.
Yves has an idea what it means. He’s had the flu enough times in his life to know that it comes on quickly. Maybe if he attempts to sleep it off, he’ll have a better time over the next few days.
Or maybe not. He cancels his Sunday plans, goes through his itinerary. There’s a slew of emails he’ll have to send off, a handful of meetings he’ll probably have to reschedule for this coming work week. He’ll need groceries, too, to last him the week—ideally something that won’t take too much effort to make. Resting now seems like it’d be a waste of time. Best to get everything over with before the illness has a chance to properly settle, he thinks.
He really does mean to stop by the grocery store. It’s perhaps just the timing that doesn’t work out as planned. Between figuring out how to reschedule everything that’s coming up with work—figuring out who he can ask if he needs to reallocate any of his assignments to anyone else, rearranging things for clients, and getting all the paperwork in order—all of it takes him nearly two hours. He wanders into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea, finds himself having to turn aside to cough, notes the unpleasant sting in his throat when he turns back around.
It’s not terrible yet, but he feels distinctly off. His head feels a little heavy, and everything he does feels strangely—sluggish, maybe. Like he can’t quite manage to be as efficient as usual. Judging by past experience, he’s probably going to crash in a few hours.
He can already feel a headache brewing. Staring at his computer screen probably hasn’t helped with that. If he takes something for it, it’ll probably be at least tolerable when it gets worse.
He opens the medicine cabinet, rifles through the couple bottles and the first aid kit he has stashed in there.
Right. He’s out of Advil.
It’s no matter. Just a quick grocery trip, then—he can grab the rest of his groceries while he’s at it. Yves shuts the bathroom cabinet, grabs his wallet and keys, and makes it all the way to the doorstep outside when the wave of dizziness hits him.
All of a sudden, he feels a little lightheaded. Heat crawls up under his skin, prickling and unpleasant, as if something in him has cranked up the heat generation to the max—but that can’t be right, because he’s shivering inexplicably in the wake of it. He leans his weight back against the wall, squeezes his eyes shut.
Fuck. He probably should have gotten groceries first, before sorting out everything for work. Perhaps going out on his own now would not be the wisest.
He heads back in, locks the door, and—after some thought—calls Mikhail.
Mikhail picks up on the second ring. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Are you busy?” Yves starts, but the words catch on his throat, and he has to stop immediately to muffle a cough into his elbow.
There’s a moment of silence on the other end. “It depends what you’re about to ask me for,” Mikhail says.
Yves swallows. Shuts his eyes. He doesn’t like asking for help, but he doesn’t think he’ll be in any state to be doing this on his own over the next few days. “It’s not that urgent. Just if you have time,” he says.
He can almost feel Mikhail rolling his eyes on the other end. “You’d say that even if you were bleeding out.”
Yves laughs, startled. “I promise I’m not bleeding out. Just—do you think you could run to the store and get me some Advil?”
There’s another, longer pause on the other end. “Any time is fine,” Yves says. A part of him already regrets this. “If you’re busy right now—”
“I’ll be over in a few,” Mikhail says. Then the line goes dead.
—
He doesn’t remember drifting off, but when he wakes, it’s to a knock on the front door.
The knock is just for courtesy, of course. Mikhail is one of a few people whom he’s permitted the privilege—or the burden, perhaps—of having a spare copy of his apartment key.
Yves opens the door anyways.
There, in the windy April weather, Mikhail shuts an umbrella and leaves it dripping at his feet. “You look even worse than you sounded over call,” is the first thing he says.
Yves blinks at him, surprised. “Did I really sound that bad?”
In lieu of answering, Mikhail just looks at him, scrutinizing, the corner of his lip ticking downward. “What is it? An injury? A migraine?” When Yves shakes his head, Mikhail presses forward to pick a stray lint ball off of Yves’s shirt. His hand makes contact with Yves’s shoulder, and he frowns.
Before Yves has a chance to explain, he feels a tickle—not the first, today, and certainly not the last—surface. It’s irritatingly difficult to ignore, more irritating still when he finds himself forced to turn away, to duck into one arm—
“hHehh-!’ hEHh’yyiISCHh-HHEEW!”
The sneeze is rough enough to scrape against his throat. He coughs tightly into his raised arm.
“A cold,” Mikhail says, with a frown. “But usually you don’t take Advil for colds. Wait—don’t tell me this is something worse?”
Yves winces. What is he supposed to say to that? “The Advil was all I needed,” he says. “Thanks for making the trip. I owe you one.”
“No, I’m sure of it now,” Mikhail says. “If it were only a cold, you would’ve driven out to get this yourself.”
“It probably isn’t,” Yves says, neglecting to mention that he knows exactly where he caught this. “Thanks for bringing these. I’ll take the next couple days off. I—”
The next sneeze sneaks up on him. He ducks into his sleeve again, taking another step back.
“hHhEH’iiDzzsCHH-yYew!” The sneeze sends a burst of pain through his temples, and for a moment, he’s glad his face is too deeply buried into his sleeve for Mikhail to see.
“Does Vincent know?” Mikhail asks.
The question catches him off guard. “What?”
“That you’re apparently unwell enough to ask me to pick up Advil for you.”
Yves doesn’t like where this conversation is going. “I told you not to come if you were busy.”
“It’s not a problem,” Mikhail says. “But if you’re sick, shouldn’t he be over here, taking care of you?”
“He’s had a really busy few weeks,” Yves says, which is true, but simultaneously might be true at any point during the year. He clears his throat. “I - coughcough - wouldn’t want him to catch this.”
“So he doesn’t even know,” Mikhail says.
…Perhaps Yves should’ve thought of a more convincing excuse. Mikhail isn’t the type of person to drop an issue after he’s raised it, and Yves had, perhaps, neglected to think about how—for all Mikhail does to appear casually disaffected—he’s one of the most perceptive people Yves has ever met. “He doesn’t have to know.”
“What are you talking about? He’s your partner. I’ll text him,” Mikhail says. It’s then when Yves recalls that Mikhail probably does have Vincent’s contact—exchanged before their trip to France, so that he could text them all to coordinate the rides to and from the airport.
“Wait,” Yves says, unable to keep the panic out of his voice. “Don’t. If you text him, he’ll - snf-! - feel obligated to come.”
Mikhail doesn’t lower his phone. “I’ll just ask him to drop by,” he says. “You can talk to him about it when he gets there.”
But that won’t happen—can’t happen—because Yves knows that if Vincent were to see him like this…
I’d feel terrible if you caught this, he’d said. He’d sounded so upset over it. How can Yves, after all his reassurances last week, admit to him now that he’s faring badly enough to need someone to look after him?
Besides, Vincent probably has enough on his plate already. Yves knows enough to know that in their line of work, taking time off almost always means being swamped with assignments upon return.
“Please don’t ask him anything,” Yves says.
Mikhail looks long and hard at him. He looks as though he’s trying to puzzle something out. “Did you guys get into a fight, or something?”
“No,” Yves says. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Then, if you’re on good terms, why are you so resistant to the idea of him coming over?”
Yves squeezes his eyes shut, and then opens them. He can think of a dozen more excuses to field away the questions—that isn’t the hard part. Mikhail has always been good at seeing through his bullshit, but if Yves has to steer this conversation to a close through sheer willpower, he thinks he can do it. But then again—
Maybe it’s fine, he thinks, if Mikhail knows. For better or for worse, Mikhail is his best friend. Yves knows that if he asks him to keep his mouth shut about this, he will.
“Vincent is my coworker,” he says, slowly.
Mikhail’s eyebrows creep up. “Yes, I’m aware.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Yves says, with a cough. “He is just my coworker. Nothing else.”
The alarm that flashes across Mikhail’s face is unmissable. “You two broke up?”
And there it is—another crossroads, where Yves thinks the easiest course of action would be to reshape the current lie into a simpler one, to keep the trappings of their fake relationship intact. With anyone else, it would be easier, that is.
Yves says, honestly, “We were never together in the first place.”
“But you went with him to France,” Mikhail says, confused. “Not to mention, to Margot’s new year party, and then to Joel and Cherie’s housewarming. Are you telling me—”
“That was all an act,” Yves tells him, and waits for this information to register. “There is nothing between us that’s real. That’s the reason I haven’t called him.”
The recognition settles on Mikhail’s face. Then he laughs, a little disbelieving. “You’re really not dating him? Why would you lie about that?”
“Do you remember Margot’s party?” Yves asks. It seems like the right place to start, after everything. “Erika was there with Brendon. And I was bitter, and—to be honest, jealous—and I wanted to show her I was fine. So I asked Vincent to go with me.”
“That was months ago,” Mikhail says.
“It was easier to just keep up the act, after that.” Yves says. “Easier to have him accompany me once a month than it would have been to stage a proper breakup. But obviously, this is all temporary. I just haven’t figured out when it’s going to end.”
Mikhail is quiet for a moment. Yves looks past him, at the staircase that leads down to the first floor.
“You’ll be fine, then,” he asks. “If you two break it off.”
“Of course,” Yves says. “I know it’s going to happen someday.”
“You won’t be upset at all?”
“What is there to be upset over?”
“From the way you spoke to him, I really thought there was something there,” Mikhail says.
“He is a good liar,” Yves says.
“Maybe so,” Mikhail agrees. “But you are not.”
He says it so calmly, it barely registers as an accusation. But Yves hears it, loud and clear.
“Vincent is attractive,” Yves says. “Anyone with eyes can see that. That’s all there is to it.” it feels wrong, even as he says it. Yves has always known Vincent to be attractive—that much hasn’t changed. But he knows that the feeling in his chest when he sees him at work, in the break room, or at lunch—the unusual ache—is a little more than that.
“Margot’s party was at the end of December,” Mikhail says. “It’s April, now. Margot wouldn’t tell you this, but since I don’t like withholding my feelings from you, I will.”
Yves waits—waits for Mikhail to tell him how all of this has been unduly dishonest, how Mikhail doesn’t appreciate having been lied to.
But Mikhail doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he says: “If you’re still intent on keeping this fake relationship up…” Here, he meets Yves’s eyes, a little sternly. “You should think about who you’re really doing it for.”
It’s only for convenience, Yves wants to say. Now that we’ve set things up already, it’s merely the path of least resistance. But that isn’t quite right, is it?
“Don’t worry about me,” Yves says, trying a smile. “Vincent and I have talked this through already. Whatever happens with our arrangement, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Mikhail says. He pockets his phone, and then hands Yves the bottle of Advil. “Sorry for the interrogation, then. If you believe it to be fine, I trust you.” Perhaps that’s the worst part of it. Mikhail has never been the type of person to stay quiet about any foreseeable problems, but Yves knows that his agreement now is not a tactical retreat, nor is it an acknowledgment that it’s not worth arguing over something they won’t agree on. Mikhail is dropping the subject because he really trusts him.
Yves just doesn’t know if that trust is justified.
Mikhail turns on his heels, steps delicately past the hinge at the bottom of the doorframe.
Yves clears his throat. “Thanks for stopping by.”
Mikhail nods. “Feel better soon. If you need anything other than Advil, just give me a call.”
Then he’s gone. Yves shuts the front door behind him and wonders just what exactly he’s gotten himself into.
#sneeze fic#snz fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snzfic#i wrote the majority of this on 4.21.2024 😭 initially with the intention of writing much more#(atypical occurrence part... 3?)#but i think it feels most fitting to just end it here :') that is what i have the stamina for in any case#i feel the need to apologize for how short this is + for the fact that vincent is entirely absent#you can maybe see why i hesitated for almost 7 months before posting it#a couple notes:#mikhail (yves's former college roommate and current best friend) is mentioned in the first installment i ever posted#but he shows up most substantially in foreign home#i am fond of their friendship dynamic... is it obvious? 😭#yvverse#my fic
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Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones
Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones
Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.
The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire
And Echo as a soldier of the Republic
But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him
Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose
Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers
And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose
"A ship in port is a safer one"
"but it's not the reason it was made"
"So forgive me if I wander off"
"And forgive me more if I just stay"
Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies
(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)
#i have lots of thoughts and many draft posts in which i've been struggling to figure out how to word those thoughts#tbb had SO much potential#it was so close!#it really could have been on par with Andor if it has just tried#i feel like i'm projecting these themes that aren't really there#the pieces are there the show just didn't focus on them#i considered saying hunter 'hides from the empire to protect his family' but that never included crosshair just omega#so that felt like giving him too much credit#ignore the music video i just really love the acoustic version bc MMM that viol!#the rest of the lyrics totally fit for clones of this era too btw#like SO WELL ugh#if i had the time resources and attention span I'd make a music video#maybe someday...#(lol i have waay too many projects stuck in my brain and also the new semester started and i'm already so behind rip)#while we're on the subject of radical face and clones#“always gold” is THE perfect heartbreaking Kix song!#tbb#tbb analysis#sw tcw#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#arc trooper echo#the clones#radical face#bardic musings#sorry i didn't credit the gifs#this has been in my drafts since long before i knew people care about that and i can't find where i found them from#just know the shitty ones are the ones i made lol
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thinking about signalis theories and how maybe falke's words are applicable in more than one direction
#yea idk why the tiny little images i felt like it. whatever#iirc i wanted to post this for lesbian visibility week but yk. shrug emote#art#signalis#signalis fanart#elster#ariane#isa#alina#elster signalis#ariane signalis#isa signalis#alina signalis#siigh. im ngl i almost didnt post this#or anything at all#putting stuff on tumblr (specifically art) has got me feeling like...#well i aint goin into all that in the tags but tldr whats the point basically. what am i spending so much time on it for#anyway tha post itself#...u know what nah im not spelling it out it looks deranged both spelled out and not#did u know this has been in my drafts for so long that it's june now#wrapped back around to it
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Trans boy Percy can be a lot of fun
just a lot of people have a tendency to make it something he comes out about Pre-canon and that it changes nothing
while I'm over here like I firmly believe that Molly would not have continued having kids if she thought she already had a daughter
and i think she would be annoying as hell about him figuring himself out I just think she would be so disrespectful about it
Molly would be a "but your ruining yourself! you are my baby girl!" while crying type of parent and I believe that in my heart
She would guilt trip Percy like crazy about it while feeling 100% like she's doing the right thing.
Do I think that maybe she would realize after a few years that she's being absolutely terrible? I mean like I would hope so
#percy weasley#Now Post-war Trans-girl Percy finally letting herself be free and no longer caring about what her family thinks?#is amazing and i love that concept#i feel like every non shipping post i could want to make about Percy is one i've already made at this point#ik I've talked about trans!Percy before but im going to do it again#Tw: transphobia#trans!percy weasley#I firmly believe Molly would continue introducing Percy as her daughter im sorry#i just think she would be transphobic i don't think she would spew like truelly heinous things like hoping Percy dies or anything#but i do think she would never respect Percy's pronouns or only respect them when she's happy with him#does this mean i think transboy!Percy can't be done? no obviously not that is dumb you can do whatever you want#its just most depictions i've seen have been very the Weasleys all accept him or at the worst the twins make like one joke and drop it#when i just don't think it would go like that personally#though wish fulfillment is also just a good time so *shrug*#This has been hiding in my drafts for who knows how long so I'm freeing her#molly weasley critical
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How long have you developed Breanna as your OC?
shes been my oc since i was 19, so almost 6 years now 🥺😭
#jade answers#Anonymous#straud asks#it takes me a very long time to finalize an oc's personality ;( i did the same with holden when i worked on his story for 10 yrs lmao#he went thru many drafts. breanna's were a little more consistent (she's always been immature and reckless etc) but mannnnnn#i feel like i've only truly settled on her personality within the last year. does that make sense lol#or rather within the past year my grasp on her personality has become very comfortable. i know her super well!#sometimes u just gotta spend years getting to know your ocs idk it's like this for me anyways#if you actually read all that mwah mwah mwah mwah love you 1 billion points hammer damage 🔨
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it's. interesting. the way that irving is popularly interpreted. i regularly see people who imply that he purposely leads mages into performing blood magic, only to pull the rug out from under them and expose them to the templars, in order to fulfill some type of quota (?unclear) because “see? we catch x number of suspected maleficar a year, we must be doing our jobs right”
so, okay. kinloch hold has the reputation of being the most liberal circle, because it doesn’t censor information. knowledge about blood magic rituals isn’t suppressed, necessarily; they hope that their teachings (and the implicit threat of the templars) are enough to keep people from acting on it, but people are still allowed to read about it. this is wild
the codex entry “Irving’s Mistake” reveals a lot. he writes, “The environment of the tower is such that certain modes of thought are encouraged, both for good and ill.” and it’s easy to take this as an admission that these “certain modes of thought” means they're just. straight up encouraging blood magic. but in tandem with the above fact (kinloch mages don’t censor information just because they disagree with it), ive always assumed it means that they encourage apprentices to question authority and use their Critical Thinking Skills to decide what chantry rules are actually worth following, rather than obeying blindly.
the danger with that is, everyone holds different values, and some people believe “blood magic is forbidden” is a rule that’s not worth listening to. and then we get uldred.
this is still irving’s fault, because he encourages his circle to question authority, but it’s not entrapment. he’s encouraging his circle to wring freedom and independence out of the small bit they’re offered
i also think his treatment of jowan is a little bit of. trying to play 4d chess without fulling understanding the pieces. he identifies jowan as someone of weak will, who could be easily manipulated by a bad actor. i honestly believe it was an empty threat, and irving’s thinking was something like:
-i am the first enchanter and i have blind spots. i know there are people in the circle who operate in those blind spots to prey on apprentices
- i have identified one of these vulnerable apprentices. i will present a false accusation, which will hopefully scare him straight if he was considering it. he may also reveal names of people who tried to influence him. if he has done nothing wrong, there’s nothing to worry about; we can investigate and it will turn up nothing because he is already innocent :)
his biggest problem was, in my opinion, having too much trust that everyone else would share his perspective. sort of has the mindset of "well, i read about some ancient tevinter blood magic rituals and i turned out okay" without realizing how insidious uldred etc. had gotten at manipulating people from the time they were children
#i think this is also why irving’s so lenient with anders tho. like damn that kid does stick to his convictions and hate authority#he's just. a libertarian#in the real world sense of the word and not the actual fraternity lmao#mine#irving#this has been in my drafts for a long time and i feel like this might have originated as a vague but yknow what#i havent seen irving posts on my dash in a minute and im still right
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Heya! Saw your cry for a distraction and honestly such a mood.
I've got a question!
What's your least favorite thing to draw/do when you make art?
I'm on my own art journey right now and kind of dread the transition from lineart to coloring.
Trying to study anatomy right now and ignore rendering but I'm curious what other artists feel is challenging or just like 'ugh, ok time for [x]'
OHHH in terms of what's challenging, for me it's definitely coloring, rendering, backgrounds, and composition HAHA (<- chronic flat colors user who only draws character art on a floating white background)
i love focusing on gesture and lines when i draw ^_^ i rely mostly on intuition for the other stuff but it really only takes u so far T_T i'll spend hours trying to fix something by trial and error when i probably couldve saved that time by putting in more conscious studying/practice lol
#the thing that keeps me from getting too down about it tho is that it just takes some dedicated time and practice!!!#one of my goals this year is to take a class on one of those things!! or read a book on it or smth lol#for me i like learning the theory behind those things. makes things click and saves me a lot of time and frustration down the road lol#just the other day i was working on smth and the colors took me FOREVERRRR to figure out T_T#it's like. i kinda knew why the colors didnt work together but i didn't know how to pick the right ones to fix it.#it's nice to have tools to fall back on when you get stuck/intuition fails you#BUT!! everyone is different#the important thing is to not get too hung up on the things you are weak in ^_^ it's only temporary as long as ur patient and practice!!#i think its hilarious how u put it tho 'ugh ok time for' BC IT RLY DO FEEL LIKE THAT SOMETIMES DKJFHASF#me when i finish my sketch/lines. ugh now time for everything else BAHAHA#ALSO SORRY I REPLIED SO LATE this has been sitting in drafts for a while and i forgot to finish writing my response omfg
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.
#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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i couldn't stop thinking about that twitter poll where mew won for "who begs the most for cock" and how shockingly wrong it was. like, the MAIN CONFLICT of the series was how much he was Actively not begging for cock lmao he shouldn't have even been a candidate in the first place
meanwhile, top,
all that boy wanted to do the whole series was suck mew's dick!!! also, you don't think that mew MAKES him beg for it??? please, that's their whole relationship
#cher also won tho and that checks out at least#i feel like gun would be really bad at making him beg for it#like cher would try and gun would just be like okay :)#i know i TECHNICALLY wrote begging in more than forever but he was trying to make a point and just wanted cher to answer the question#topmew#ofs liveblog#my caps#fb#this has been in my drafts for a long time i just didn't have the caps lol#also i'm SORRY these have the stupid logo i made them on my pc#also i might have already posted about this idk
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hey bestie just popping in to ask if you ever finished Reasons To Keep You Here 😭😭
*steps out of my coffin, covered in dust, and cobwebs and caked blood*
Working on it.
#insert stupidity#it's been a long time and im finally ready to face my demons again#today i started reviewing my old draft for the chapter and i feel like (even if its just a little) my writing has improved#i had to rewrite some stuff and edit it down#i hope i can finish this by the end of next week....
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the writing process is so weird to me, because I tend to write at like 2 am on my phone without my contacts or glasses on, and I think it’s simply the best thing I’ve ever written. And then, in my hubris, I post it (like a dumbass).
But then I read it the next morning and I feel the need to delete it immediately because it is objectively the worst thing I’ve ever written.
#does anyone else feel like this?#idk I know it’s been a LONG time since I’ve done any creative writing#so I feel RUSTY#but like maybe I just am not as good as I thought I was#legal writing has rotted my brain#I know I’m exceptionally good at legal drafting and persuasion#but writing for funnies??#not a chance#rambles#peach speaks
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Ikkan: Are you sure you don't want me to come back home?
Neta: please don't....I'm sorry. Please don't leave your vacation because of me. I'm really sorry I didn't mean to worry you
Ikkan: .mmk
Neta: I'm sorry
Ikkan:don't apologize babe it'll be ok
Neta: *yawn* I know I just...I just needed to vent
Ikkan:I just want you to get some rest. Call me in the morning ok?
Neta: alright. I love you.
Ikkan: I love you too.
Neta: I didn't mean to worry you.. I really don't want you to come back. I don't want your trip to be ruined because of me.
Ikkan: noooo no don't say that babe
Neta: I really feel like I am though. I shouldn't have called you. I just feel like I'm being........ too much because-
Ikkan:because you're not.
Neta:..........
Ikkan: we'll talk about it in the morning
Neta: it'll actually be after 12:00
Ikkan afternoon yeah we're in different time zones I forgot
Neta: it's ok....*sniff*
Ikkan: I love you
Neta: I love you too............*yawn*...
Ikkan...babe get some sleep.
Neta: hmm ...............................hm hey......
Gai:..... I'm sorry.... I just thought you should know I didn't expect you to get this upset
Neta: dad ......*sigh*..... thank you for telling me.....*sigh*....... I just need to process this..... I'll see you.... I will call you when I'm ready to talk.
Gai: alright..... have a good night
Neta: yeah. Have a good night............. fucking hell ........
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Merv: ikkan help set the table
Ikkan: ok...
Merv: Noji help me bring out the food. We're having tuna steak and scallop octatoes and gravy.
Ikkan: you really went all out Dad
Merv: yeh well we have guests over they should have a nice meal for the first night.
Noji: only the first..hehehe
Merv: dinner is ready!!
Cirrina: I'm coming!
Warabie: smells good
Shimi: hmm.....*eating*....wow it's not that bad... it's
Merv: fresh?... yes we have a farm to table house hold. Almost everything on your plates comes from my farm or from the locals farm or ranch. It's all prepared by hand. We are a homestead family and community we give to our neighbors and they give back to us. The bread that we are serving now came from the bakery, we gave them wheat and they gave us bread in return. Eventually you'll learn the way of the community and learn how to harvest, grow and take care of the livestock.
Cirrina: do we get to see the manatees now?
Ikkan: not yet Cici eat your dinner
Cirrina: damn....
Ikkan:hehehe... Be patient
Cirrina: hehehe.....did you call dad?
Ikkan: yes.... he's... he's doing ok
Cirrina: alright...
Ikkan: he doesn't want you to worry.
Merv: alright everyone time to head in. Tomorrow we start working.... Ikkan, Noji help me with the dishes
Noji: on it. Good night Cirrina I see you tomorrow.
Cirrina: night! Hehe.
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Mahi:......*sleeping*.........*sleeping*......hm.....*Yawn* morning....uhhh... What time is it?
Mizole: it's 7:45
Mahi: haaaaa...*Stretch*.... I'm going to get some free coffee, see if Toguni is up. You want something?
Mizole: nah.,...
Mahi: do you want anything?
Mizole: nah ......
Mahi: come on...get up
Mizole: mmmmmmm
Mahi: cooommmme oooonnnn... let's go..
Mizole: mmmmm....no....stop...you smell...
Mahi: so do you. it's 95 outside and we're sleeping beside a bunch of strangers....get up let's get some coffee and see the line for the community showers.... come on..... mizole get up...(Kick)
Mizole: UGH... FINE!.. I gotta go to the bathroom anyway. If I see ichiya I'm kicking his ass!! Embarrass me in front of everyone. He can't let shit go
Mahi: *sigh*.
Mizole: what?
Mahi:... nothing.....
Mizole:....babe
Mahi: *huff* it's just you spent most of the day yesterday fighting with your ex. If it wasn't fighting it was constant complaining. I thought this was going to be a fun thing we could do but If you had fun this year we could go every year but... Like a tradition we do every summer
Mizole: hey listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such an asshole and I'm having fun actually......... [kiss] we're going to have fun today. I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to bitch and I'm not going to fight with ichiya. I'm just going to ignore him... Today's going to be about us k ?
Mahi: .....alright...[kiss].... Let me get some coffee....... morning Toguni....you sleep well?
Toguni: *yawn*.... yeah...the bus has pretty good air conditioning.... what you want?
Mahi: I'll just take two iced coffees with milk and two pumps of vanilla....
Toguni: it's going to be a wait we ton of others to fill
Mahi: we can wait
Mizole: I can't. I'm heading to the porta potty... Maybe take a quick shower.....
Mahi: *siff*...ugh.....I'm gonna go change I'll be right back.
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Merv: warabie. Son get up it's morning time put on your pants and boots and head downstairs for coffee and a corn muffin. Let's go!
Warabie: what?.......... it's only 5 30 in the morning
Merv: and it's a very beautiful morning. Now get up and wake up your father too
Warabie: *huuuuuuu*....The sun's not even up
Ikkan:....*eating*....*sip*....morning
Warabie: you're already up
Ikkan: yeah I came back up here just to get my work boots...*eating*... here you can borrow my old ones. They're a little big....*sip*... Head downstairs for the coffee gets cold
Warabie:.............*sigh*
Ikkan: morning sweetie, have some milk.
Cirrina:...hmmmm...morning........*sip*....hmmmm taste different.
Ikkan: That's because it didn't come from the grocery store...
Noji: yep, it came straight from Patty. No preservatives, no additives, non-homogenized and freshly pasteurized milk.
Ikkan: morning guys... Coffee still hot muffins freshly baked
Shimi:...hmmmm....*sip*........
Warabie: so what do you want us to do today?
Merv: well we have to harvest all of our crops to make room for a new crop.... but let's do our regular chores first. Ikkan load the manatees up and drive them to Mr Graves field to graze, take Cirrina with you.
Ikkan: alright
Merv: I need you to go to let the krill out for and collect their eggs and clean the coop, warabie you can help him
Noji: on it ! Let's go warabie!
Warabie:... Do we at least get gloves?
Merv: Shimi you're going to help me clean the barns and collect manure and replace the feed
Shimi: what!...uhh..let me just call my wife. I uh.... I'm.... worried about her...... I'll be right back..................pick up pick up pick up
Oshi: *sigh* righhhht there......[POP]..*moan*...
Masseuse: you have a lot of tension in your shoulders and upper back ma'am
Oshi: That's what happens when you raise eight kids...... Nine counting my husband....*sigh*....... that's nice ....hm? .......hm.. let it go to voicemail......
Shimi: oshi!
Oshi voice mail: sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message at the deep
Shimi: damn it oshi!.............*huff*..........
Merv: here's your boots and gloves.... also I would change into something more..... work orientated... wouldn't want you to rip your pants.
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Neta: *typing*........*typing*.....
Naomi:um....uhhh.... neta...... The store is closed um... Everything is organized and clean. We just need to put the money away....... We need your help to do it.....
Neta: right...... right I'll be there.......*sigh*......
Antho:.............
Neta:...*counting under breath*. ........*sigh*....
Antho: You're quiet today... usually you're loud and annoying
Neta: just a lot on my mind I guess.......... life is really hitting me hard right now ...*huuuu*
Naomi:........oh.... I'm sorry
Neta: I'll be fine tho.... I don't need you guys to be concerned.......... But I do appreciate it though. Thank Naomi and you too Annnnnthooooo you're sweet!heheheh
Antho: (swat)...stop ..
Naomi: hehehehe
Antho: I'm headed to the food court Naomi you want to get some cold wontons before we leave
Naomi: ok ...bye Neta
Neta: see ya kids............ I could go for some room temperature Pizza............
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Mahi: alright... coffee time. Tonugi! Where's my coffee?
Tonugi: here's your two coffees and a salmon and eggs breakfast sandwich
Mahi: Sweet! I thought coffee was just free
Tonugi: No coffee is free. You have to pay for the food but you get it free. That guy actually paid for it I think he knows you
Spyke: (waving)
Mahi: * gasp*....you.... you can keep the sandwich I don't want it.....I-I have to go ..
Tonugi: but-
Mahi: I need to leave.....*huff*.... I... I'm going to the porta potties.......ugh..... DON'T tell him where I'm going. Lie or something
Tonugi: yeah... yeah...yeah... No problem
Mahi: thanks....*huff*...
Spyke: wait! Hold up! I just want to!....damn lost them... Did they tell you where they were going?
Tonugi: uhhhhhhh.... No I have no idea. I think they were going back to their... Van... they parked their van in the trailer park spots down over there past the food stalls and the showers they're going to be in slot OV All the way in the back
Spyke: All the way over there? Ehhhh I'll catch up with them later maybe.
Tonugi: alright....*sigh*.. .
Stefan: morning tonugi....*yawn*.....oh! Salmon and eggs.. I'll take that thank you very much...*eating*....hmmm just like mother used to make...
Mizole: The bathrooms were surprisingly clean....hey Mahi..*oof*... What happened to the coffee?
Mahi: I dropped them....
Mizole: oh .. well you can just go back and get -
Mahi: I don't feel like going back there right now. We can do it later
Mizole: hey... are you okay?
Mahi: I'm fine ....... let's just go to the stage I think Trip tank is going playing let's find a good spot.
Mizole: sure. Are you sure you're okay?
Mahi: yeah... I'm fine...
Mizole:[looking around].....…....…………………………………
Spyke:………………………………………………
Mizole: [grimacing]............Come on. Let's go. It's a day just for us. Remember?
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Cirrina: how many manatees do you have?
Ikkan: we have eight of them. We're about to have 10... Luna and honeydew are going to have their calves soon
Cirrina:awwww they're going to be moms. That's sweet..
Ikkan: you want to feed one?
Cirrina: yes!! Yes..
Ikkan: * whistle whistle*...*kiss kiss* come here Luna!....*whistle*.......ok so just hold the squid plant and let her eat
Cirrina: *gasp* she eating it!!.....ugh.....ewwww!
Ikkan: aww she's giving you kisses..
Cirrina: give me another squidplant............ So what did dad say when you called him?
Ikkan:................ your father is doing just fine. He's just a little stressed out with work and wedding planning.
Cirrina: he sounded upset on the phone.... I couldn't hear what he was saying. Why did you offer to go home early? we just got here.
Ikkan:.........*sigh*...... I'll tell you tonight...... your father doesn't want you to be concerned. He wants you to enjoy this trip okay...
Cirrina: alright........... So how long are they going to be grazing
Ikkan: we usually let them stay here for 8 hours Mr Graves is going to keep an eye on them.. let's head back home and get the tractor ready
Mr Graves: hold up! I got a couple ice chests for you.... Manatee chops, prawn steaks.. krill Patties. we also got a great haul last week so we have some whale fillets freshly cut and some Lobsters dogs for you. As a thanks for the fresh produce
Ikkan: thanks Mr. Graves really appreciate it.
Mr. Graves: hhmm..
Ikkan: let's go home and see how warabie's holding up
Noji: we're almost done!
Warabie: how many eggs do these things lay? We've been doing this for hours
Noji: It's not even 7am yet... Look how many eggs you've collected? That's a lot. You're doing a good job considering this is your first time doing this
Warabie: there we're done! So can we go back to bed?
Noji: now we just need to replace all of the dirty hay and replace it with new hay which should take 45 minutes...
Warabie: UHHHHH
Noji: warabie.... This doesn't seem fun or worth it right now, but you'll soon realize that this work is actually really rewarding
Warabie:....pfft....yeah right
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Neta: *eating*.....*sigh*..........
[knock knock]
Neta: *eating*...hey baja... What brings you here?
Baja: My apartment's empty
Neta: ha! So is mine
Baja: I saw you at the food court and I was going to say something but you really didn't seem like yourself
Neta: hmmm...*eating*... You want some pizza?
Baja: ok...sooo how's everything going?
Neta: It's fine. My dad came to visit today
Baja: That's nice to have family over
Neta: *eating*........ Yeah......... he's dying heheh
Baja: uh...oh.....neta. ....neta I'm.... I'm really sorry
Neta: yeah cold water disease..... He found it on his arm. He didn't go to the doctor it got worse and started to spread and now it's in his ink sack and they can't do anything sooooo..... Yeah...*sniff*... that's great.......
Baja: do you want to talk about it? I mean I lost my father I don't know if have any good advice but I'm welcome to hear-
Neta: I don't even understand why I'm so upset. It is not like he was there for me or he was a good father or a good person. It's like.....like I shouldn't be this upset. I guess I'm just more angry and frustrated than upset because you could afford treatment now. Why didn't you get treatment like this isn't like my mom. ... She died of the same thing. We couldn't afford to go to the doctor... but now you can!! Why didn't you!!
Baja: well..
Neta: *crying* It's like why the fuck are you even coming to me now? *Sniff*. You had plenty of time to form a relationship with me and try to rekindle something but you didn't. *Crying*...now that you're dying you're going to try to do it? Why!!? So? If it doesn't work out you can just escape responsibility!!?....*crying*... I fucking hate him!!!... I don't want him to die................. not Anymore.....*crying*.....
Baja:...................
Neta: *crying*.......... I'm sorry I shouldn't have dumped that on you.........
Baja: oh it's ok.... I overshare a lot too
Neta:...... Hehehee.....*sigh*....*eating*....ugh........ This pizza is gross
Baja: yeah....hehehe.......... You want me to stay over?
Neta: what?
Baja: My apartment is super quiet like scary quiet. Can I sleep over maybe give you some company
Neta: ............................yeah....*sniff*.......yeah....*sniff*.....fuck it I'm going to order a real pizza..... Get some blankets, pillows............here pick a movie, any movie............. Take my old pajama pants.
Baja: alright a day just for us!
Neta: hell yeah!......... hello.....hi baby!!..... Are you having fun on the farm?..... yeah...... I'm fine sweetie......... yeah....*sigh*.... So how's ikkan and warabie.....HE FELL?!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry that's not funny, that's not funny. Tell him I said sorry hehehehehehehe hahahaha!...ok...ok....oh alright bye sweetie.. Tell ikkan I said hi.. and I'll call him tonight
Mahi has been secretly filming the shows and sending them to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort and antho
Tonugi, Stefan and Pacifica are the cleanest mother fuckers at that music festival Everyone else is sweaty and stinky @conkreetmonkey
#This feels too long for nothing significant to happen#warabie and Shimis first day on the farm and they're doing terrible.#Cirrina is actually enjoying herself I might give her a love interest I don't know. she's wishy-washy when it comes to relationships#that moment when you think you're OC is actually improving and living the best life#but then you slap them with a dying parent to keep things spicy#Neta will never find true happiness as long as I'm alive#I don't know. he didn't like his dad to begin with so this couldn't be a W for him#Mizole number one boyfriend and number one asshole#tonugi you're doing a great job#spyke jump scare#do warabie's parents even like each other at this point#oshi is not giving a single fuck right now about her husband#neta loves annoying antho that's his favorite thing now#Mr Graves is a yellow tail damselfish#Baja is a good friend#Baja is getting a solo soon...ooooooo#I'm done rambling this has been in my drafts for a long time#neta
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