#this has been 90% of my entertainment for the past couple days

[ingo-appreciation]

Yo! I’m on vacation right now! I’ll try to get some posts still up for y’all, but I’m gonna be busy so no guarantees! Have a good rest of emmet month! I hope I still get to catch everyone’s entries :>

[thesagedahlia]

HOLLYWEIRD READINGS PRESENTS: SEAN ‘DIDDY’ COMBS CHART ANALYSIS * PART 1*

*TW: mentions of ab*se, violence, r*pe, and s*xual assault*

INTRODUCTION

Sean Combs has been well known as the hip hop mogul of Bad Boy Records since the 90’s, as well as his affiliations with the likes of Notorious B.I.G. and Lil Kim to name a couple of the many artists to come out of that era of hip hop, but if you were alive and aware of the 90’s you wouldn’t be shocked to know that the name ‘Diddy’ was oftentimes entangled into controversial situations and conspiracies. It would even be safe to say that there’s a conspiracy that Diddy, as a gatekeeper of the hip hop community, was in fact a very controlling, domineering & aggressive kind of person. In true Scorpio fashion, a lot of his dealings have been kept under the radar and were never pressed upon, even suppressed from the media as much as possible. UNTIL RECENTLY, not only has Diddy been paying out his former signees from the label (after not paying them properly in the first place), but Cassie Ventura also brought up a civil lawsuit against Diddy which was settled within 24 hours. Cassie was another signee to Diddy’s label, as well as his long-time ‘girlfriend’ of 10 years. They separated around 2019 which was coincidently when her contract under him finally dissolved. Since then, she’s been happily married with two children, but if you are familiar with the reading I did on Cassie some time ago, Diddy was coming up a lot as trying to get in contact with her or keeping tabs on her through different means. Though I never directly focused on any abuse of any kind, there felt to be a very dark presence around their connection, and a lot of it was operated under Diddy’s control. Which is why Diddy still to this day has such a profound effect on Cassie, which has helped her develop an addiction problem among other psychological trauma. Before I even pick apart their synastry, I’m going to pick apart Diddy’s natal chart to the best of my abilities, for the ones in the back-left that don’t believe he is capable if the things outlined in the lawsuit. What tipped me off was Diddy’s acceptance speech for his BET Lifetime Achievement Award received around June of 2023, with the way he mentioned Cassie and the words he chose. Considering what I picked up in my reading before, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie felt highly triggered and threatened by his speech once she caught wind of what was said. So honestly the lawsuit came as a shock, not because I wasn’t privy to such or I didn’t see it coming, but only because I didn’t expect her to stand up to him so soon after separating (it’s been roughly 3-4 years). To mention briefly, Cassie is experiencing a Lunar Nodal return (the North/South node lining back up in the position they were in at the time of her birth) which is ironically the Aries North/Libra South axis, clearly spelling out how it was in this lifetime that she was to break the mode of ‘people-pleasing’ and dependency and being inclined to stick up for oneself, especially in romantic relationships (South Node in Libra crossing her Venus placement). Cassie is an extremely strong person for asserting her boundaries in this way and now that she has exposed him and finally can work toward her healing, she was also able to open the floodgate of something far beyond her, which I’m assuming that’s also what she wanted. The past month in me conducting this report, more lawsuits of the sexual nature are starting to surface, which only confirms that this is the beginning of an unraveling within Diddy’s proverbial closet, in which his skeletons pile up.

There’s no question of Sean’s impact & influence within the industry and that impact is reflected in his chart, however this specific report will be focusing in on relevant patterns and configurations within the chart that reflect certain conspiracies and allegations:

* DISCLAIMER: FOR EDUCATIONAL/ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY; THIS IS AN ASTROLOGICAL CASE STUDY THROUGH NATAL/SYNASTRY CHARTS, ANY ASTORLOGICAL CONFIGURATIONS THAT I MEANTION IN THIS READING THAT ARE RELATIVE TO THE READER ARE NOT PRONE TO THE ANALYSIS THAT I CONCLUDE WITHIN THIS READING, THEY ARE MANIFESTATIONS OF THE ENERGY PRESENT WITHIN A SPECIFIC CHART COMPARED TO THE PUBLIC INFORMATION REGARDING THE INDIVIDUAL*

*This will be citing the subject’s most relevant traits regarding recent news through their energy signatures*

MARS IN CAPRICORN

As a lot of people may be aware of, Sean is a person who demands respect for his reputation in the industry. Being a Capricorn Mars native, I can see this being one of the main culprits that contribute to his control issues. Mars in Capricorn natives are driven by their ambition and determination to achieve a certain status. These natives, from a shadow perspective, can be very materialistic people and can produce someone who uses their money, power and respect (see what I did there? See the irony?) to assert authority onto those who he would consider ‘weaker’ or less established. This can even create someone who ‘bullies’ people because of the status they have. Capricorn is a calculated sign as well as entrepreneurial, so he has an affinity to throw his money around to assert himself and get what he wants. Mars is also making a square to his Mercury in Scorpio, which can detail more of a defined obsession for power and control (more on this below). Mars also squaring Jupiter can expand his quest for greed and can amount to an abundance of energy that needs a proper outlet or can succumb to his impulses and aggression. His Jupiter in Libra is already making a tightly wound conjunction to Venus that can reflect how his abundance can be defined by the business he makes and those around him, which will need a further explanation considering the surrounding and angling planets involved, but this can all tie into his tactics to control the business that he does and for him to be the one to mostly benefit from it. Lastly, and more importantly, the square Mars is making to Venus can be particularly subject his personal and intimate relationship to aggression, violence and other disruptive impulses (more on this below).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE SATURN IN TAURUS

On a surface level, the energy of this aspect can make for someone who is a hard and consistent worker and can work on things to exhaustion. From a psychological standpoint this specific square can be more violent, domineering energy within this native. Sean’s assertiveness can be in conflict with authority figures in his (early) life, which can in turn create an inflated & ego-driven sense of authority within himself when achieving the power that he has been accustomed to for so long. This can also point to his tendencies to use violence and force to solve his problems or to keep people ‘in line’. There is a lot of knowing behind the scenes of exactly what Sean is capable of in the industry, so there is a running joke that he can make people do what he wants or else they will ‘disappear’, which other parts of his chart can point to that theory as well (refer to ‘significant patterns, cradle 1’). This is also a great point of Sean’s inclination to rebel at any given opportunity, and a lot of his motive has to do with power and control, which is a running theme in his chart. This square is connected in a T-square (1) with Mercury, which can be an indication of having a tight-knit network of people who have a lot of power and prestige. Sean has a lot of wealthy ‘friends’ that he does business with, and these are people who were regulars at his hosted gatherings, both public and private. This square is a very selfish energy, not willing to go out of his way for people unless there is something in it for him, especially with Saturn having power over Mars (Mars in Capricorn). This can make Sean a very callous, unforgiving person who has more interest in dominating others, and he doesn’t stop to put other people into consideration. He can also be prone to frustrations, so it’s likely he’s not the most easy-going person. Punishments are very likely with this square, as he is inclined to make people work beyond their means to be rewarded as he sees fit, or he may look to restrict those who aren’t as cooperative. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Sean was into a lot of binding (BDSM) and violent kind of kinks (like rape or torture), especially with Pluto making a trine to Mars. Moreover, Capricorn Mars natives can have an insatiable appetite for sex, and in simpler terms can make for someone with prominent anger issues.

MOON-SOUTH NODE CONJUNCTION IN VIRGO

This conjunction between the Moon and South Node is significant because it represents how comfortable he is in his karmic and negative emotional patterns, and how easy it is for him to project that onto other people. Besides ones’ habitual nature and raw emotion, the Moon placement can also be the direct link to one’s mother as well as other feminine/maternal figures in a person’s chart. In the case of the mother, I discovered upon research that Sean’s mother was a model/escort (allegedly being supported by the Virgo Moon, Virgo ruling service, while modeling is ruled by Virgo’s opposite sign, Pisces (North Node)) who exuded the party-girl aesthetic, which can directly point to this Moon to South Node influence by his mother making that kind of lifestyle the ‘norm’ for him growing up, as the South Node represents our past lives or karmic lessons that we come into this lifetime needing to learn/move away from in one sense, it can also come up in a person’s chart as generational patterns that one has inherited into this life, or have been conditioned to upon entrance into this consciousness. There is also an allegation of his mother being predatory, and this is supported with the Virgo Moon representing ‘grooming’ from a feminine figure (the Moon), or the mother. More to this theory, there is a specific video where Sean professed to going to (strip) clubs with his mother and they are also seen kissing each other on the lips, which could be normal for some parent-child relationships (when the child is STILL a child), but another takes puts fuel to allegations that Sean was also preyed upon or groomed in his adolescence. Additionally, Virgo is the sign of service, work, daily routine, health/diet and anything of the like, it also represents ‘training’. As you know, Sean is known for the way he likes to be in control and how critical he is, so this is very on brand for a Virgo Moon native. When we talk about how he treated his signees on a public scale, Sean tended to be a critical, micromanaging force who controlled their image, the way they sounded, and how he wanted them to work for him. In a lot of cases this would entail how they ate as well, especially women since the Moon governs women. He also liked certain things within his order, which he could almost be obsessive about it. This doesn’t only apply to the ones who sign to his label or work with him generally, but also the employees that work for Sean on a routine basis, such as security, fitness trainers (another Virgo trait), cooks, maids etc. What I can deduce with this placement, Sean is particular about things being of a certain order when it comes to his employees and women in his life, and this can come from a specific karmic pattern that he was conditioned to in his past (The Moon can also represent one’s upbringing), namely reflecting a specific insecurity that he grew up dealing with. He may have lived in some kind of instability within himself, to which he found (albeit unhealthy) coping mechanisms for. He likely holds onto negative emotions until they build up within him to explode, which can likely be a person who is known to lose his patience. This is a wide orb so the severity of its effects may be weakened, but it is still prominent in the native so long as he clings to the comfort zone. Lastly, as a controversial opinion, the sign of Virgo is the ‘virgin’, or the maiden. Being that this sign represents something of purity and youth, as well as young women, this could pinpoint a tendency to attraction to ‘younger’ women. The lower frequencies of Virgo can take ‘training’ to a darker connotation, into the scope of ‘grooming’ as previously mentioned.

LILITH IN CANCER

The Lilith placement, in a man’s chart, represents the kind of woman he desires, yet fears. This is the same kind of woman that can truly overpower (or destroy) him. Lilith also represents defiance, sovereignty, darker emotions, the shadow side, and the wounded feminine energy or when we know we’re being manipulated, abused, or disrespected. In Sean’s case, not only does this denote a disconnect with his mother or females in his family in the traditional sense, but his Lilith placed in Cancer also says a lot about how he regards nurturing, soft and naturally empathic women. In his mind, this type of woman is ‘weak’, which can be traced back to the women he was generally able to overpower and manipulate (i.e. Cassie). This placement is another major indicator of the mother being somewhat of a temptress or taking on the ‘dark feminine’ archetype. The energy of Lilith in Cancer completely rejects traditional feminine energy and deems it to be something to dominate within oneself and others. With the afflictions to this placement, there is even more of an indication that he carries this psychology into his relationships and interaction with other women. With this placement I could go as far as saying that Sean has a complete disdain or hatred for women on a subconscious level and can manifest as a desire to have control on women that appear weaker to him. The sextile made to Pluto can tell me of just how explosive and violent he can be toward women in attempt to control/dominate, even deadly consequences are noted here. Lilith forming an opposition to Mars in extreme cases can even add forced violence toward women, even rape considering both Mars and Lilith govern over raw sexuality (Lilith being the feminine depiction of this). There is also a square Lilith is forming to Venus, which is also forming its own square to Mars (more on this Mars-Venus Square/T-square below). Venus’ contribution to Lilith in this instance can represent a more prominent force within his connections, not only referring to his intimate and personal relationships, but his business and industry relationships are subjected to this power-hungry dynamic where he is more strategic of how he gets over and manipulates others into his favor, Venus being good at making things look a particular way. This placement is an instinct within Sean to sense out those who are more capable of being manipulated, whether they are naïve and unassuming or not. Manipulations through things such as contracts, NDAs, PR, etc. as this is reinforced his Venus is placed in Libra (Libra represents written contracts and public image).

CHIRON IN ARIES

Chiron as Sean’s hidden psychological wounding (fears and insecurities) can revolve around his own, or the energy of, masculinity. As previously mentioned with his Lilith in Cancer placement, Sean has a borderline disrespect towards those he considers weaker, or ‘feminine’, so it would only make sense if that were to stem from toxic/wounded masculinity that he may have been conditioned to growing up. This can make for a person who overcompensates for his own assertiveness, pushing the barrier to being overtly violent, abusive, and domineering. This can also point to a specific ‘wound’ surrounding his masculinity that can have everything to do with sexuality with Mars making a sextile to this placement. This aspect can also give support to someone with a ruthless ambition, as Mars’ energy is doubled and can be malefic and disruptive in nature (such as Chiron). Sean could have been exposed to a violent or hyper-masculine world growing up and can be conditioned to the principles of ‘survival mindset’ and war mentality. The history with Sean’s father can put this theory into perspective, if we factor in that he was alleged to be a drug-dealer who died by gun violence (also a Mars/Aries signature). This can lead to his affinity toward solving problems with violence, especially with Pluto making an opposition these can have fatal outcomes. This is a particularly deadly energy that can bring about hostile situations.

NEPTUNE IN SCORPIO

Neptune is a generational planet that can represent a pattern in our chart that can be heavily veiled and hidden from others and even ourselves, and can be referred to as the collective consciousness. It can also refer to our psychic inclinations and our spiritual understandings. The era for Neptune transiting the sign of Scorpio was between the years 1956 to 1970, and this would cite Sean’s birth year to be 1969, making Neptune 27 degrees through the sign. This was the period infamously known for drugs, sex, rock n’ roll, and even mysticism, which were all things that gave way to sexual liberation, experimenting with substances, and the emergence of religious cults. People born in this specific time where Neptune was traveling through Scorpio can have more of a soul recognition to these influences which can serve as a subconscious relevance to the native. Sean Combs is no exception, as I would consider him to be hiding a sexual liberation that may seem unusual or shocking to others. This is also an indication of what other intuitives/astrologers have been picking up about him forever now; that he is well aware of manifestation and alchemy (Moon/Pluto in Virgo supports this as well). Sean is likely aware of and have personal interests in cults and ritualism, so this can give merit to idea that Sean hosts sex parties/rituals. This is an intense, mysterious and possessive nature that is hidden beneath Sean’s surface, and he has likely had an upbringing that has desensitized him to all kinds of destruction, danger, and chaos. This Neptune is ruled by Pluto (and Mars traditionally) and is also making a sextile between the two planets (can be found in Cradle 1 and 2). This can bring opportunities for manifestation and manipulating energy for one’s own desires. With Chiron trine to his Neptune as well, he can be someone to suppress whatever insecurities he may have through escapism tactics, such as substance abuse, giving way to the theory of Sean’s own self-destructive tendencies.

SUN IN SCORPIO CONJOINED TO MERCURY IN SCORPIO, BOTH OPPOSITE SATURN IN TAURUS:

Here is a configuration that plays a part closely with one expression conjoining to one’s mental compatibility. Scorpio can represent cruelty when operating on lower frequencies, which in this case can also take on a controlling & possessive connotation. This can also create a person that can prioritize enforcing their will onto people for the sake of gaining powerful status. Add that with a double opposition that Saturn is making to his Sun-Mercury conjunction, and you have a person who may have a restrictive and dictatorial quality to the way that they manage contractual business with others. There is an energy of a dictator or an authoritarian to other people, even a cult leader (Taurus Saturn), and being able to punish those who go against them (Taurus/Scorpio axis governs loyalty/betrayal). Another take with the Taurus Saturn, this can be someone who expected loyalty from his people in the same capacity as a cult, especially those who worked under him for extended periods of time. Saturn is ‘the punisher’, so that would suggest the claims of aggressive intimidation against certain people, even sexual abuse with Scorpio involved (citing ‘violent’ kinks). On the spectrum of sexual assault, this is a point where I believe that the nature of this configuration would impulse a native to sexually ‘punish’ their victims, which can also include a forceful connotation when the victim refuses to accommodate the native in question. Scorpio placements operating at low octaves can be vampiric to those they encounter, and that opposition to Saturn can indicate selfish tendencies that he may be more willing to use the people around him to benefit him and his status. There is also a presence here of legal situations involving the finances of other people & the contracts that they sign with Sean. A take-over spirit that sucks everyone dry is also what I would describe it as. This configuration also supports someone who is capable of limiting fame and notoriety from his own artists if they felt it necessary, placing that same spotlight onto himself. This configuration ALONE backs up a lot of claims regarding anyone feeling cheated by Diddy financially, having an entire catalog restricted from the artist, and the overall control of said artist through contractual obligations. As mentioned previously, some information in regard to Sean’s late father and the lifestyle he led, which can also be a manifestation of this configuration in his chart.

VENUS-JUPITER CONJUNCTION IN LIBRA

Getting to a contradiction within his chart, this aspect can speak to the kind and benevolent nature that he may have been trying to channel, as noted by his most recent name change to “Diddy ‘Love’ Combs”, especially from a spiritual/religious standpoint involving Jupiter. Sean has been cited lately as changing his image in the way of creating what attempts to be a ‘peace-loving’, family-oriented aura from the native. But this placement does a lot more harm than good even involving the two aforementioned benefic planets. This conjunction expresses his generous nature, especially to the women he was publicly and privately in a relationship with. Not to mention that Jupiter also governs publishing, so Sean being in control of the publishing and producing credits at the label can be seen with this aspect. This is a major indicator of being able to benefit from his own generosity, in the sense that he expects to be compensated for what he has given his artists or his relationships. Libra is about balance, symmetry, and justice and when it comes to this conjunction, Sean’s extravagance came with the expectation to continually do right by him to some degree, as there is a reciprocity that comes with the energy of Libra, this configuration in a person’s chart, on the flip side, can make the native inclined toward greed and can even make one prone to addictions. Mars squaring Venus within this conjunction creates a motivating factor to merge his money and power, to essentially have a certain type of control in the industry. He also uses this control to steam-roll his relationships into being loyal to a fault. He may also indulge the most into his addictions/greed on a social level, which can be a direct link to parties he would throw since the 90’s, the same parties that are now being implicated as possible ‘sex rituals’ or sex trafficking social events (depending on what you believe personally). The Venus to Mars square can very well include the raw, sexual nature of the parties Sean would host or be a part of himself. Sean’s extravagant nature is not something that is unheard of to people who are aware of him generally, but behind industry walls this can actually point to the inflation of his ego. Sean is also someone who likely has very good lawyers and legal professionals working for him with this aspect, and he is not one to shy away from legally binding agreements in his business, i.e. NDAs.

MERCURY IN SCORPIO SQUARE MARS IN CAPRICRON

When you have the planet of communication squaring the planet of will, this can make for a verbally forceful and disregarding native. Sean is not really a stranger to being an aggressive communicator with a sharp tongue, but this is another indication of him operating on a short fuse. This can be due to the overstimulation that’s interpreted with this aspect, and the increase in impulsivity. Sean is likely a very intimidating communicator, and he doesn’t have any impulse control. A lot of his motives are once again linked with the obsession for power and control over others through his powerful connections and status. Sean also has a violent nature that he may be more inclined to keep hidden, but with Mars squaring Venus this would make these themes show up more in his social or romantic relationships (as a Libra Venus is skilled in making public perception of the native appear polished and balanced, with Libra ruling PR). There can even be sexual kinks that are deemed deviant and would likely be shunned upon with this square happening between the signs of Scorpio and Capricorn (‘violent’ kinks are cited here). This can also make Sean a determined individual with an insatiable need to fulfill his desires, and those desires can only be met with unwavering hostility and force. This can pertain to professional, personal, and even sexual desires when it comes to Sean. There is an inclination toward arrogance and power trips toward those he employs, and verbal abuse is the main weapon he uses unto others. This also reinforces him being accustomed to innate control over others and his mode of operation relying heavily on his connections to the industry (Mars in Capricorn).

MARS IN CAPRICORN SQUARE VENUS IN LIBRA

Here we have a native that is likely to be a forceful person within his interpersonal or romantic relationships and can attract those who are easily shaped and molded (Venus in Libra) or the native can project this motive onto those he is involved with. This aspect is associated with anger issues, a lack of self-control, and intense love-hate dynamics within intimate relationships. As this can be a reflex in establishing control, it is likely Sean is as domineering as everyone may portray him to be, especially those who have seen the different side of the coin. It is also likely that Sean can have a PR team behind him that can paint a less egregious picture in regard to his personal life, though behind the scenes it’s worse than what anyone could have imagined. This can also attract abusive dynamics, especially with any other malefic influences touching this, which can be cited by Mars’ opposition to Lilith in Cancer also squaring Venus (see T-square 2). Sean is inclined to dominate those who he is intimately, personally or professionally involved with. I could even go as far as to say that he has a domination kink (if I haven’t mentioned this speculation already) or a punishment kink (involving Saturn ruling the Mars placement). This can also cite difficulties in court proceedings against Sean as his Libra Venus would suggest a functioning legal team and producing iron-clad NDAs and contractual bindings in his business dealings. Also making note that Cassie is a native to this same Venus to Mars square, which the significance of this is likely to show up in the pair’s synastry.

SIGNIFICANT PATTERNS

T-SQUARE 1

Taurus Saturn opposite Scorpio Mercury, Square Capricorn Mars: This is the more general source of his anger and temper towards other people, and it involves previously mentioned aspects. For this T-Square, he has his apex planet (or the focal planet where we see the problem) as Mars, which has been the running theme, if not the dominant energy in the native’s chart. The point of tension with this T-square can point back to his aggression surrounding the way he dominates and manipulates control. Saturn opposite Mercury can suggest frustration from an inability to relate to others personally due to a lack in communication skills, which could have been a theme for him from a young age. Sean could have also been subjected to seeing different ways of being overpowered by authority in his upbringing or early career, which can create initial opposition with authority that he’d aspire to overcome, and a desire to achieve the same ‘untouchable’ status that he had been privy to, even through aggressive and violent means. Sean may have grown up to inspire control over those weaker than him, in comparison to what he may have been subjected to growing up. The ruler of the sign Mars is in (Saturn) being in the sign of Taurus can bring a direct importance and drive to achieve power through his material/financial status. He is a very technical person, and very strict, especially if it comes to criticizing or training people (which has come up before in other sections). As an employer, this can make Sean a very harsh person who may place extreme demands on the people under him, even if they were simply apprentices. Sean has a significant pattern of having a dominating presence over the people in his life, whether they work for him, are friends with him, or within romantic and intimate relationships. This is the perfect configuration for “aggressive manipulation”, which Sean seems to always be tied to. He is also capable of bringing sorts of ‘punishment’ onto those who don’t abide by his expectations. This can also be in lesser extremes, such as being harsh with his training/teaching and aggressive dictation. In recent history, there have been classic shows that essentially depict this and what immediately comes to mind is ‘Making the Band’. Incidents such as the ‘Cheesecake’ incident (and things such as hazing) are great manipulation tactics where Sean can construct the belief of one’s own authority and how he was projecting that onto his signees. This was how he was able to achieve the authoritative status that he did as a mogul/gatekeeper in the industry, reinforced with his Capricorn Mars at the 29th (Leo) degree. This is also a T-square that can pinpoint his ability to network through the industry and being in rooms with different ‘important’ people and allowing himself a roster of artists/fellow associates to catapult himself ahead as a music executive. In a more technical context, this is a T-square that also points to his ‘shady’ business (one off, not only). Mercury being in the sign of Scorpio (and adversely having Pluto in the sign of Virgo) opposite Saturn in the sign of Taurus can signify Diddy’s affinity toward his iron-clad contracts, NDAs, and underhanded payouts (as mentioned in previous sections). Adding that the sign ruled by Saturn is also his Mars placement, Saturn’s energy is prominent within this T-square (Saturn/Capricorn = binding contracts, corporate business). In a sense, with Mercury in Scorpio (Scorpio = joint investments, joint accounts, ‘other people’s money’), Sean was able to manipulate those who he’s signed into going into contractual business with him, and the Mercury-Saturn opposition can translate into bad contract dealings.

T-SQUARE 2

Capricorn Mars opposite Cancer Lilith, Square Libra Venus: This specific T-square can suggest his dynamic that he has towards women. As previously mentioned, Lilith in Cancer in a man’s chart can suggest a distain or blatant lack of respect for the feminine quality and finding women to be a weaker species. Add in the opposite angle happening with Mars and you have someone who likes to overpower the women in his life. The apex planet of this T-square is Venus in Libra, which is squaring his Cancer Lilith and his Capricorn Mars. The focus here is the essential ‘domination’ over his sexual/intimate and even business relationships, and the aggression that he naturally has towards women, and this can go especially for the women he has signed in the past. The ruling planet of the Lilith placement is the Moon, which is placed in the sign of Virgo, which governs routine, work, and health/diet. A lot of Sean’s criticism towards women can have a lot to do with how they look, their diet, and how they take care of themselves. This can absolutely correlate to the women he dates as well as for the women he decides to sign and work with. As previously mentioned, Virgo is the sign of the teacher/trainer, and this can represent why the Lilith in Cancer placement is so obsessive with overpowering women in a way of dictating and critiquing them. The women in his life have to abide by a certain standard, and in a lot of ways can make him prejudice to certain types of women and want to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ them to what he finds appealing. If they don’t fall in line the way he wants to (Venus in Libra), there is a violent streak that can come out in him (Mars opposite Lilith).

CRADLE 1

Pluto Chiron Opposition (Pluto in Virgo, Chiron in Aries), Virgo Pluto sextile Scorpio Neptune, Virgo Pluto trine Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron sextile Capricorn Mars, Aries Chiron trine Scorpio Neptune, and Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune: This can pinpoint to a lot of rage that is inspired by insecurities and deep seeded psychological wounds (Pluto opposite Chiron) that don’t have a healthy exit point. On one hand you have a Chiron in Aries, which can indicate someone who has insecurities surrounding the expression of their masculinity, or may have some tendencies toward toxic masculinity, narcissism, and misogyny. On the other hand, his Pluto in Virgo can point to obsessive compulsive behaviors that can reach extremes about perfecting a specific standard, which may lean more toward internalized powerlessness and insecurity. This opposition can result in him overcompensating for these wounds/insecurities, projecting them onto others, and can manifest in him seeking to dominate others with that Pluto influence. The supporting aspects that create this cradle (Mars, Neptune) speak to the talent/opportunities that are connected to his goal-oriented determination and business-like ambition (Capricorn Mars) and his artistic abilities with musical vibrations (Scorpio Neptune). This cradle can suggest someone who is able to use their power and influence in the music industry to hide from their psychological wounds and using it as a crutch or suit of armor that is meant to keep him from being accountable for the way he may strong-arm other people to get to his desired status. I can also see this being a main source of his believing he was invincible from receiving any certain consequences. This can also be a source of him using his power to engage in sexual encounters of his dominating desires, and having a forceful and aggressive undertone that can easily become threatening. Another interesting thing about the Mars sextile Neptune included in this cradle, which may indicate that he would have desires to film/take pictures of these encounters, which has been alleged of him being in possession of photographic evidence of some encounters from his own partners or of different women in different states. Leverage that to him, can be interpreted as a way for him to brag or assert domination with these women by sending these intimate pictures/videos out to his mutuals (rapper 50 Cent was cited as receiving such intimate photos of Cassie from Sean back in 2010). It’s likely that Sean may be someone who wants to be able to act out and film his sexual fantasies (Scorpio Neptune) and most of them may be where he’s dominating his partner, possibly in violent ways with Mars in a trine to Pluto. A lot of his reputation, both known and unknown, are tied up with this specific astrological pattern, but the Pluto Chiron opposition alone can be the indicator of a rapist/rape victim, which the trine/sextiles to Mars and Neptune can support this. It is also alleged that he had enough power to make people ‘disappear’ and this cradle supports the manifestation of that, especially with Mars’ trine to Pluto and its sextile to Neptune. This specific configuration supports any kind of claims or allegations linked to his violent nature being supported or even helped through the power or status that he has maintained in the industry, and him using violence to stay feared (because to Sean, Fear=Power; Mars trine Pluto).

CRADLE 2

Mars Lilith Opposition (Capricorn Mars, Cancer Lilith), Capricorn Mars sextile Scorpio Neptune, Capricorn Mars trine Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith sextile Virgo Pluto, Cancer Lilith trine Scorpio Neptune, and Scorpio Neptune sextile Virgo Pluto: This cradle has the same Mars Pluto trine, which encompasses that ability to acquire power and protection within the industry (involving Neptune) previously mentioned, but the focus of the tension is shifted to the complete rejection of feminine energy. Mars in Capricorn opposite Lilith in Cancer can create a self-preserving, venomous individual whose passions/ambitions are being channeled into episodes of rebellion, domination and control. This is a person who is vengeful, sneaky and domineering when it comes to his sexual and intimate relationships and can find himself projecting that back on to the women he engages with. Lilith in Cancer can directly relate to a desire to dominate women (if afflicted) especially to empower oneself, but with it opposite to Mars in Capricorn this can stem from some kind of hatred or coldness toward women that can also come off as complete disrespect. The Lilith trine Neptune in Scorpio can note an inclination to sex rituals, or spiritual (occult) explorations through sexual means in a way to manifest and manipulate energy, and a lot of women in his past have been participants and may even been scouted out for such (Mars sextile Neptune). This is also supportive of engaging in sex trafficking and being able to fly under the radar (Neptune trine Chiron, Lilith, sextile Mars). A lot of Sean’s sexual lifestyle and nature were always something people illuded to being of a dark nature, or at the very least, unconventional. It is possible Sean can have a sexual kink of dominating women in violent ways (as mentioned as being a running theme), with Mars and Pluto in a trine. Lilith being in Cancer can indicate his overall shadow side, or hidden nature, being projected onto women. This can especially be dangerous with Lilith opposite a violent planet, such as Mars, and in a sign like Capricorn he could also be a person who is punishing, domineering or restrictive of them. This could be a man who is not only sexually violent toward women, but also physically aggressive and violent with them as well. I can even say he doesn’t like women as far as respecting them as people. There were a lot of people that were around that were aware of Sean’s behavior with women in private, and so many of them turned a blind eye to their well-being, and even their safety. His Capricorn Mars indicates someone who prioritizes the power that comes with what he’s achieved, and being able to do what he wants because of it. So, with this Mars Lilith opposition, it is likely that he is the type of person to use his power and influence to attract the women that can act out his sexual desires (Scorpio Neptune) and there is an overwhelming tone of domination that can edge on the border of violence. A final note worth addressing was Sean’s Mars sextile Neptune. With Neptune governing photography, videography and even porn, he may have an interest in the documentation of his encounters with a camera, as well as using this as leverage against these women to have continued control over them (Neptune sextile Pluto), which can be further cited by the allegation of being sent Cassie’s ‘intimate photos’ in the past.

CONCLUSION

The further I go (down the rabbit hole), the more I can find evidence that Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs is capable of most of everything that he has been accused of thus far, and he is still being hit with lawsuits of a violent sexual nature as I’ve been conducting my case on this. I have to say that I learned a lot more about this figure than what I honestly had an interest to, so much so that I’m deciding to take a break from this topic that I’ve now split into two parts (Diddy X Cassie synastry report will serve as the revisited/part 2). But a lot of what has been coming out against Sean can be explained by quite a few configurations in his chart and can be evenly deduced that he may be capable of more than a fraction of it. There were two main points that I wanted to highlight and bring home each time in regard to Sean’s psychological make-up; his controlling/domineering nature, and his sexual deviancy, and what exactly motivates the two and where it stems from. A lot of Mars (Scorpio) and Capricorn influences can be part of the contributing factors to the emphasis on power and control. His Lilith in Cancer opposing Mars in Capricorn is a major indicator of his sexual violence towards women, among other things, and it is the Aries Chiron that can give insight into his psychological wounds around masculinity. Another point one can make with his chart alignments is that he is a product of his environment, especially when you consider the facts of his life. His parents were both living alternative lifestyles, and Sean being a witness/participant in these lifestyles only fueled his familiarity to it. Speculatively, his mother being an escort opened the door for different sexual fetishes that he has till this day (Moon-South Node conj., Lilith in Cancer opposition to Mars in Capricorn) as it was alleged that this was how he was introduced to the concept of ‘orgies’. Recent findings can speculate that him and his mother engage in deviant behavior together, as a video cites Sean exclaiming his mother ‘likes to have a good time’ and how she can ‘touch the floor with her palms…flat’, which in itself is some ‘disturbing’ inuendo. This can very well play a role in his disrespect towards women as a species, as well as viewing them as sexual objects rather than people. It was also alleged by rapper Mase that Sean’s mother gatekeeps all of Sean’s ‘dirty’ business and is the main proprietor of his estate (Virgo Moon trine Saturn (Taurus) and sextile Sun-Mercury conj. in Scorpio). On the other side of the coin, Sean’s father is an alleged gang member/drug dealer that would have Sean present on certain ‘violent’ occasions, which can contribute to Sean’s belief in fear and barbarity being the most effective means to gain power and control, and this can be expressed with his Sun-Mercury conj. opposite Saturn (and instilled with afflicted Chiron in Aries). Allegedly Sean was even present when his father was gunned down in what is being described as either ‘gang activity’ or ‘a drug deal gone bad’ (Saturn in Taurus square Mars in Capricorn). These configurations can also speak to being mentored by men in the industry, who have a lot of power and prestige themselves. These where the examples that were set for him at a young age, and the way he turned out can be seen as the materialization of these influences.

When I revisit this topic, it will be from the angle of the ‘enslavement’, ‘sexual abuse’ and ‘trafficking’ that was the 10 year relationship between Sean Combs and Cassandra Ventura.

THANKS FOR READING

[thana-topsy]

If you're up for sharing more writing tips, how can I tell if what I've written is actually any good? With writing I get stuck in a cycle of feeling like I'm the next Shakespeare while writing but then I'll look over my work a few days later and absolutely hate everything and think it's the most cringe shit ever, then I'll leave it a bit longer and think eh it's not as bad as I thought but still not great and so on. I feel like being forced to write for a grade during school and having everything be marked and assessed and assigned a particular value has robbed me of the ability to critically analyse my own work in a way that's objective and accurate but also fair and realistic. I can analyse other peoples' stuff till the cows come home but I lose all rational thought when it comes to my own stuff

Adding onto that, how do I get to the point where I can stop looking back at my old work and hating everything and wanting to delete it all? Realistically I know finding fault with my old stuff is good bc it means I've grown and improved from where I once was etc but at the same time I wanna enjoy stuff I've made in the past without cringing every time I read it

Hey there Nony, I wanted to let this one percolate a little bit before answering because I've been where you are. And it's a rough time for sure. But aside from my own experiences, I also wanted to get the opinions of some of my writerly friends in the fandom, too, since everyone is a little font of wisdom in their own right.

So I'm going to share their advice alongside my own, because this is kind of a complicated string of questions you're asking. Long post ahead!

@paraparadigm says to Keep Writing: "Write more. Write so much (and so many different things) that eventually the sheer volume bulldozes over self-devouring ego, comparison twitches, or feeling lost, because you don't yet know your own baseline. Coupled with "read more, read everything, read things you enjoy and things you don't, read for the craft as much as the entertainment." And: "I'd add that when revisiting old writing, it's helpful for me to differentiate between "ew the writing is not as technically solid as it is now" and "ah that's interesting, I guess that's where I was at then, emotionally and psychologically". Old writing is also a sort of archaeological record of your younger self, and that can, in fact, be a bit itchy to revisit, so learning to cherish that without passing judgement can be really helpful. I try to treat it like those little marks one puts on the door jamb to track a kid's height."

@mareenavee says "Part of it is writing more, as Para said and I will always second that. Another part is, honestly, the hardest part. It's to try very hard to get out of the habit of negative self-talk.... There's so much work involved with this but normalizing being proud of your work and having some grace with yourself is part of that answer."

@archangelsunited says "Early on, instead of going “this has to be a masterpiece” I would tell myself my only job was to tell a story. I couldn’t tell a story if I was deleting it. Also, talking about your work helps. The less ashamed I was of my writing, the more people wanted to read it. There is a need to hide your work, and that can lead to a downward spiral all its own. And, 90% of the time, you have to suck at something to learn to be good at something. The work you already wrote shouldn’t be the sum of all your skill, it should be one of those measuring sticks for the moment. Despite previous thought, you won’t be stuck at the same level forever."

@polypolymorph says "In addition to accumulating experience via reading and writing, you also have to be willing to reinvent the wheel. Unfortunately the Process™️ is unique to everyone, and even when you are deliberately mimicking a voice as, say, a ghost writer, you can't expect that 2+2=4 for you. Your process might look more like a Lotka-Volterra equation for the same type of work and that's okay. Trial and error is the best way to figure out what advice actually works for you--and if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Don't get stuck on pop writing advice like a sad roomba does on an upturned rug. Learn when to throw it out."

So there's some advice from some other excellent writers! I hope you've been able to find some value in their advice, because it certainly kicked me in the pants a few times.

As for me, I think, having been where you are, my biggest piece of advice is: Find joy in the craft. Get curious instead of critical. An artist shouldn't down themselves over a rough sketch when they're working out a drawing, so why would a writer do such a thing? Everything you write is practice. Everything you make has value because it builds up to the next thing you make.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is capable of telling the stories that are in your head. This fact alone gives whatever you put onto paper value, regardless of quality. You are creating magic, in the most literal sense! Creating something out of nothing, conjuring images into someone else's mind from hundreds of thousands of miles away, transcending space and time. It's amazing!

Lastly, my final piece of advice is to just write for fun. Write things nobody else will ever see just because you wanted to get words onto paper. You have to unlearn what was drilled into you in school. You are more than a content creation machine. You are an artist, a wordsmith. And just know that there will never be a day when you look at your own work and say "That's it, I have achieved perfection."

Writing is a life-long journey. Just enjoy the ride!

[turquoizxe]

4 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

Fontaine x Black!Fem!Introvert!Reader

Installation (1.5/2) : The Shit We Do

Rating ― Adult (18+)

➝ The official second installation takes place months after you reunited with Fontaine, so I'll fill in the holes (while Fontaine fills yours) about what you two have done in between those months together.

Author's Note: Uhh packing for my dorm is an ass and has been taking up most of my time these past couple of weeks besides family things, but I didn't wanna leave you guys hanging while I get to work on college. Enjoy!

𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 ― Fontaine being a softie for you, fluff, adult themes, drabble bcs I miss ya'll :,)

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ― use of vulgar language, sexuality, mentions of drugs, and other adult themes.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 — 0.7k

Fontaine finding his way back to you was easily one of the best things that has happened to him.

Actually, it is the best thing that's happened to him.

You were sure that your family would have a heart attack if they knew the relationship the two of you now shared.

You had no plans of giving your heart to anyone else, and the same went for your pussy. It was his, and it always has been.

The memories that you had shared in high school were beyond the title of best friends, and you both knew that.

However, being able to fully flesh out these feelings in adulthood was something you thought wouldn't happen; those fantasies were only held by hope.

So the day you reunited with Fontaine ― the night Fontaine blew your back out and popped your cherry for the first time, you were sure it was a dream.

...That was until you realized that he was in your kitchen making you breakfast the morning after.

You had spent so much of your life worried about how people viewed you and judged you based on who you hung out with.

You had finally embraced what you two could be, hoping that Fontaine felt the same.

I'm pretty sure both of you had lost count of all the bullshit you got into following that day.

Fontaine never stopped having weed on him, and you never stopped smoking it― after a long day of work, your lover is always willing to share a joint with you or make you your own.

He still had his mint green Pontiac, the letter you wrote for him sitting in his glovebox, clearly tampered with more than once.

Speaking of it, you also lost count of all the places you fucked ever since you two been together. You couldn't help how much shit you two talked together, got you in trouble more than once.

"Taine', the movie's getting good." "mmtch, ain't nobody worried about that shit but you."

The back of his car in the middle of a drive-in after Fontaine decided that the skirt you were wearing was far more entertaining than the romantic comedy you wanted to see ―

"Fuck, I'm gonna come again-" "Gimme that shit baby."

back on the couch after you both got high together after a rant about your workplace, bent over once again after you innocently asked for him to shotgun because you were too lazy to roll a blunt yourself that day ―

"Shit, Fontaine." "Yeah, say that shit."

the kitchen counter, your pretty pussy on display as Fontaine seemed to be hungry for something else that day.

You were like 90% of the predicaments you ended up in because of your gestures, but he knew what you wanted, and he definitely gave it to you. And sometimes, you bit off more than you could chew.

And unfortunately, your mouth got you into trouble in more ways than one.

You two argue playfully more than anything, but when things got serious..

"The fuck you mean clones? Fontaine, I know you smoke weed, but don't be on that other shit!"

Fontaine didn't see you get mad often, and he didn't like it when you were, especially if the resolution was so easy. But him explaining clones to you was far from it. You were damn near convinced that he was smoking crack until you saw it on the news the next morning, and that's when you let him back in your apartment to fuck the attitude out of you.

In some ways, Fontaine felt as though you still acted like a damn kid. Yo mama jokes, reciting lines from the movies that you two used to watch growing up.

"All my life I had to fight!" When you were only fighting for the last bag of doritos. "Since you got your degree, and you know every fuckin' thing, when you would grammatically correct Fontaine to piss him off. "He's a good man, Savvanah, a very good man!" When you confessed to your friends that you and Fontaine were official.

The shit you two did together was beyond the comprehension of the outside.

And luckily for both of you, it was only your business. Fontaine appreciated your bold spirit when you were together.

But, he was searching for the bold side of you to make her appearance.

Unfortunately for your introverted ass, he was determined to make that happen.

𝙏𝙖𝙜(𝙨)

@blowmymbackout | @wakandas-vibranium

[what-gs-watching]

"I'm just a boy in a neon suit, standing in front of a girl, reminding her that Notting Hill is her favorite movie."

GANG. I went to see The Fall Guy and it was SO. FREAKIN’. GOOD. Like, sooooo good.

I have to admit, I’ve been a bit disillusioned with movies for the past few years. The industry has changed and like, really, do we need so many fucking movies about APES? Apes? For real? I do not understand why they’re making like 90% of the shit they’re making and I used to love to go and see absolutely everything and I haven’t felt that way in a while. 

Y’all,in the summer of 2008, there was Ironman, Dark Knight, and Pineapple Express. That was the height for me. That was the last time I felt really tuned into what was going on at the movies. 

The Fall Guy reminds me a lot of that summer. It would have fit perfectly. I would have seen it at least three times, we would have wandered into showings a few minutes late because there was nothing else going on that day and we wanted to get out of the heat and just have a good time. It feels nostalgic, and I love that. 

Wherein, Ryan Gosling plays Colt, a stunt guy for a popular movie star, in love with Emily Blunt’s camera operator turned director Jody, who's trying to make her first movie, after Colt suffered a terrible injury on the job and basically disappeared.

I’m gonna be Stefan for a second - this movie has EVERYTHING! Car chases, adorable couple moments, a dog that bites people in the junk, karaoke, a dopeeee neon suit, explosions, a dead body, movie quotes, friendship, and, obviously, a shit ton of incredible stunts.

ALSO! Hannah Waddingham. Shout out to that gorgeous amazon woman for being charming as hell and also a ridiculous villain. Girl, you are on fire and I want to see you in literally everything.

But my favorite part? Jody explaining the plot of the movie she’s making while forcing Colt to perform a stunt that sets him on fire, over and over, in front of the entire crew. Obviously, the movie plot has parallels to their brief affair, and she’s calling him out on abandoning her so very publicly, hiding her hurt behind the details of her movie couple, Aliena and Space Cowboy (which, LOL). And he takes it on the chin, and he tries to answer her as honestly as possible in between takes, burning and thrown against a wall. It’s funny and a little bit cathartic and a little bit sad.

Once she finally decides he’s down with the stunt, he climbs into a truck to leave and the radio starts blaring Taylor Swift’s “All Too Well”. He starts singing along and remembering their time together and ya boy starts to cry but is then interrupted by Jody asking “are you crying to Taylor Swift?” and the whole thing was absolute perfection. They had me in the palm of their hands, after that. 

And that’s like, pretty close to the start. The rest of it is madcap and fun and Ryan Gosling really is a fucking powerhouse. He’s Noah from The Notebook, he’s Ken, he’s a fucking mouseketeer and he’s always so, so, so, so good. The man is a national treasure. I will follow wherever he goes because it’s always wonderfully entertaining.

It’s really just two hours of the perfect movie going experience. And the confusing thing is, it seems like the studio didn’t realize what they had? I remember the first time I saw a preview for it, it was supposed to come out in March which is when you dump out tepid movies no one’s really dying for. But then they moved the release to May which made more sense, summer movie season, but man they are not touting this movie the way they should. 

It’s universally appealing! The chemistry between Colt and Jody! The full on absolutely crazy action sequences! The banter! 

It’s an incredible summer movie. And it put me in a great mood. I need more of that in my life, and I bet y’all do too. Maybe I’ll go again, and pretend I’m a youngin’ just looking for something to do for the afternoon, ignoring my terrible adult obligations. That’s what movies are for, and I’m glad The Fall Guy helped me remember that. 

Ryan Gosling, you wonder.

[thecherokeediaries]

Thank You, Karrine Steffans

Before we had Instagram, influencers, and Instagram baddies, we had video vixens that ruled the late ‘90s and early 2000s with their beautiful faces, alluring charm and natural sex appeal. These women generally had a bad reputation for being ‘undeserving’ of these social circles and for supposedly ‘sleeping their way to the top.’ They even struggled to have their peers take them seriously, so they struggled even more to earn their bosses’ respect in the workplace. Slut-shaming was inevitable as a video vixen at the time, but no one expected them to speak out against those claims the way Karrine Steffans did. Karrine Steffans is not only the most iconic video vixen, but she’s someone who’s influence runs deep over the current influencers we see to this day.

Karrine Steffans, also known as Superhead, is an American author, actress, and former hip-hop music video vixen. She gained significant attention and notoriety in the early 2000s for her memoir, "Confessions of a Video Vixen," which detailed her experiences as a video girl in the music industry.

Born on August 24, 1978, in Saint Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, Steffans moved to the United States as a child and grew up in Florida. She entered the entertainment industry in the late 1990s and quickly became one of the most recognizable video vixens, appearing in numerous music videos for popular artists such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly, and Mystikal.

In 2005, Steffans released her memoir, "Confessions of a Video Vixen," which became a New York Times bestseller. The book provided an insider's perspective on the entertainment industry, shedding light on the exploitation and mistreatment of women in the field. It also revealed her past relationships with several high-profile celebrities.

Confessions of a Video Vixen is Karrine Steffans’ memoir detailing the first 25 years of her life. She had a troubled upbringing in poverty and suffering physical abuse, drug abuse, sexual assault. She lived as a teenage runaway and turned to sex work and hip hop modeling to support herself and her son. The book wasn’t a simple autobiography, but she also divulged the juicy details of her sexual relationships. Some of the men she talked about had kids, girlfriends and wives; they were beloved in their respective industries. Karrine was just a video vixen.

Based on my adult analysis of the situation, I conclude Karrine Steffans was not wrong. I accept the hurt of the women whose partners were mentioned in Karrine's book; however, I disagree with the fact that the men were allowed to get away with their acts. It is not surprising that Karrine takes most of the blame. The men with whom she was involved knew they had girlfriends, wives and families at home, but they still found a way to be with Karrine, who was single. As a result, one of the men she mentioned later gave her a demeaning nickname that is still often used today. The nickname “Superhead” was what she was referred to for the rest of her career, not only was it demeaning but it was dehumanizing if she wasn’t already laughed at from the public this name alone was enough for people to laugh and her as less than.

Following the success of her memoir, Steffans continued to write and release more books, including "The Vixen Diaries" and "SatisFaction: Erotic Fantasies for the Advanced & Adventurous Couple." These books explored her personal experiences, relationships, and sexual encounters.

Aside from her writing career, Steffans has also made appearances on television shows, including "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "The Tyra Banks Show," and "The Wendy Williams Show." She has been involved in controversies and public feuds with other celebrities over the years, further fueling her media presence.

Karrine will always have a place among the most influential women for many reason, but mainly because she is the first woman I saw who refused to let powerful men dictate how her story unfolded. She wrote her book, recounted her own story, told it from her perspective, and didn't allow anyone else to rewrite its story. Previously, the men around Karrine Steffans controlled her narrative and passed it off as truth because people weren't prepared to understand her. Karrine was not seen as a person by those men, so she was expected to keep quiet as they humiliated and belittled her. The culture of slut-shaming has changed greatly over the past few decades, especially for video vixens, and Karrine is a key contributor to the shift.

And to that I say…

Thank You, Karrine Steffans

[abbinurmel]

I spent the past couple hours tailoring this aimless rant on YT, in response to a person merely saying how much they'd love for a reboot of 'Cow & Chicken' on adult swim, cos they could say whatever they like on there. I posted it here, cos YT doesn't wanna allow me to post anything right now, which is probably for the best.

This is gonna be a dumb rant. I got sucked down a rabbit hole, cos this is a favorite topic of mine to talk about and I'm procrastinating horribly on purpose on a lot of dull paperwork. So strap in before reading my garbage. You're warned now, don't hafta TLDR or whatever, thanks, I already know. …Anyways. For those who care about irrelevant, shitty opinions:…I love Cow & Chicken. A lot. On paper I know exactly why it seems like a great idea to reboot on 'adultswim', purely on the merit they do things more outrageously. I'm certain many would watch this. It's actually kinda weird there hasn't been one yet, when you think about it, given this age of rehashes. It already has the raunchy humor and gross art down, seems like a match made in heaven, right?- It'd be easy too, "Cow & Chicken" wasn't exactly lavishly drawn or had a big cast. Well… Much as I think there could be a slim possibility of it happening, for it to be good, and IF they do good, to be wildly entertaining…I don't think "Cow & Chicken" is going to ever get actually rebooted. And I don't think it benefits from being rebooted, either, which is really the only reason you should try to reboot things ever in the first place. The lore of an IP needs to benefit in being revisited, somehow, and ESPECIALLY, SPECIFICALLY, if brought back for adults. It is very unlikely gonna be executed right, ironically BECAUSE of this show's already semi-adult nature. And the reasons why, is endemic to why a whole lot of current modern shows, and movie/live action series remakes, are suffering too. -And no, it is NOT due to the reasons some of you're likely thinking of. It is NOT cos of any tired old: "things are just too safe and WOKE /PC culture now!" theories. (That sort of affair is highly subjective/means basically nothing or very different things to different people. Pretty impossible to gauge due to how all over the place/ludicrously out of touch with general fans censors and networks can be, no matter what their political leanings or personality is. Which can and do range all over the place. So I won't go into that topic as it's an entirely different problem to what I am talking about. Plus I was there for the 80s and 90s, its pretty silly to say we can not get away with any wild things these days, cos let me assure you, by comparison, there is a LOT technically more we CAN do and say now, in both kid's and adult shows, that would never get by in a million years 30 years ago. You couldn't even just say the word 'kill', 'poop' or 'die' then, most the time. Let that sink in.)

…See to me, if it ironically hadn't ever been restrained by censors/made for kids, C&C might've been NOWHERE as good. Like. At all. It might've actually been one of the worst CN shows aired. Just 100% annoying gross-out show laziness, like a lot of shows of its era. The main reason it didn't flop was cuz 1) duh, Charles Adler, the main voice, and 2) it did its 'thing' the way original 'Ren & Stimpy' did. It didn't beat for beat copy them. Their writing/visuals just simply knew how to cross the line JUST enough, keeping the raunchy humor tucked in JUST as far as they could push it, but knew also on the whole how to always stay utterly light hearted, simple and goofy. That's where its core identity is. It's the dumb blithe enthusiastic Innocence of pretty much the entire cast, and the goofy simplicity of the plots/gags, while they get to say out the side of the mouth much more 'mature' sinister things….It works purely b/c of that contrast; sometimes with innuendo being camoflauged extremely subtly, sometimes NOT subtly at all. -But it would always go ping-ponging gracefully between the two. Never too much Idiotically Innocent, or too Smugly Adult and Crass. It would do this, with actual wit. It didn't JUST have gross visuals or say dirty jokes. It did all this with a theatrical, self-known flair. Shows like C&C and its fellow Golden Age shows basically are very good at doing what franchises like Monty Python were known for, and what Regular Show and Gravity Falls and similar would do later on, just with more visual ugliness.

…Meanwhile, a lot of other 1990's/current shows DO NOT have this memo. They do not have that balance, they lack the awareness of what is the difference between 'sneaking in occasional very dirty jokes with wit' and "throwing every and any kinda joke at a wall and not even bothering to look at what sticks." A LOT of 'gritty comedy parody reboot' things are doing this, and also doing this same idea just with the "dramatic tropes" instead of comedic tropes too. ….Including Ren & Stimpy itself. -Once 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' moved to SpikeTV, they went fully 'adult', and by direct result went 1000% downhill. I don't ascribe that to just poor writing(the original has flat stupid writing too), or ugly looking animation (so is the original). Not even John K.'s…ahem, history. If you fixed his behavior, and abusive attitude; made all his notoriously horrible bad jokes tamer, I still think 'Adult Party' would've tanked, because doing this concept in of itself is a fool's errand. It's not just rebooting nostalgic childhood IPs that's the problem, but specifically attempting to repackage something that was already a mild bit 'tawdry', so now that it is INTENTIONALLY for adults only. Whenever the entertainment industry does that 'gritty effect', be it games or movies or Netflix or comic books, it's 8/10 doomed, because you essentially neutered the core joke or appeal. You've taken away the cool 'taboo' point of saying hidden naughty/clever things, in a story you're not SUPPOSED to. You're able to state and do whatever you want, and so there's not only no leash to hold down any of the weaker ideas, there's almost no "rebellious challenge" to its bite whatsoever, even when those jokes/story ideas succeed. Noone is gonna be shocked or laugh nearly as much when a Red Guy says "KISS MY ASS!" unironically in an adultswim show, as they would if he says "KISS MY ASS!!!!!!….-Her name is GERTRUDE! :D" -and then happily pulls onstage a donkey wearing a big bowtie in on a rope, because this renders it now a pun and technically 'child safe' to flaunt now. (This isn't a real joke from the show btw, I'm only making this up for convenience. But you get the idea. It's the precise sort of silly thing you know he'll do. :P )

Neither the audience nor execs are 'prey' anymore for the writers to be creatively poking the boundaries with, when you remove that expectation. It's different if your IP started with an already adult geared story to begin with, but, when it's a full on polar opposite shift in tone and/or age demographics like that, it's almost always pulled off in a confused messy way, because even the original work's creators themselves, (IF they're even kept around, or are familiar with the source material if they are new), are trapped now in completely unfamiliar territory. Without a deeply wild reinventing of the show's lore or main tenets(a thing which nobody has ever been upset by on the internet!), it usually doesn't have anything else to stand on, especially with a purely episodic comedy show, like Cow and Chicken is. Once you take out this 'vulnerability' in our dynamic, between child/censor guardians, and writers, this main core joke of not knowing what the writers are and are NOT actually going to get away with is gone, and so much of the stakes now is irreversibly lost. Sometimes being hidden from the details is what makes a gag all the more funnier, or a scary scene all the scarier, or a cringe scene all the cringier. If we take away this, things lack a lot more of the colorful shock & ridiculousness. The main DNA in these classic "deranged shows", like Ed, Edd n Eddy, Ren&Stimpy, Rocko and C&C, that a lot of nostalgic fans, and current show-runners often alike forget; is the simple fact that such shows had to weigh the balance of: 'being a sincere kid show' and 'trying to get away with something they're not supposed to'. …With very deep emphasis on the words: "GET AWAY WITH". To me, a show is not getting "away" with something good, be it a message, a joke, a deeper sense of drama, if you constantly always spell it out for us, and we know you lose nothing and have to take no creative risk by displaying it for the audience. You're not really earning a prize, if someone just right at the start, hands you a medal. In other words….Every good memorable/subversive classic cartoon show, is not beloved just because they got to have crazy visuals, or say and do unhinged jokes. …You needed to be MEMORABLY STRANGER for having those qualities, in the first place. If you do something unhinged and bizarre, but coming in I expect to see it, is it really an unhinged show?

See, there's a reason why most of the frequent reboots of Scooby Doo like 'Velma' atrociously fail. And it's not because they changed someone that was formerly white, or made someone like Shaggy have a different name, or backstory. Or even because they overhauled an old wholesome character into a rude, toxically mean, judgemental unpleasant character. Yes this does affect some tastes, but on the whole, that wasn't the core problem for most watchers. LOADS of shows have a morally awful, pompous, or an incompetent, chaotic mess for a central protagonist, or reinvent them in some way if they come from an old property. Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law, and Space Ghost Coast to Coast did more or less exactly what "Velma" does, where they took an old IP and completely transformed their roles/upgraded their style of humor for a more adult audience. Rick & Morty has a toxic main protagonist. South Park has four of them. Family Guy and American Dad has them, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, the list goes on. Even kid shows do this, and sometimes get away with it well too: Dan Versus did it well so did Ren and Stimpy, again, back when it understood how it worked. Having a mean protag or changed fundamentals, isn't why so many reboots don't work. …What happens with bad modern remakes of Scooby Doo, (and not just in shows like Velma), is often that they forget how to make things have that beautiful sense of contrast, that Cow and Chicken does, in its writing. They do not know how to both show this is a show rooted in something sincere, WHILE ALSO saying outrageously dirty/surreal/mean/pompous or dark things inside that vessel. The appreciation for the context of its background, is what makes shows like 'Mystery Inc.' and 'Zombie Island' work, while Velma and other SBs, do not. If we took Cow & Chicken, stripped it of it's irony, what else do we have except yet another dime a dozen weaker show, constantly going 'haha, me say the rude words!/do the gross bad thing again!' adult oriented show, with no fangs? Another exhausting reboot, which takes yet another unoriginal idea, robs its reputation, and wastes our time? …There's a way to do this kind of thing right. I just do not think most people, not even some of the most talented in the business, have the freedom or ability to do so. Not even Samurai Jack, a legend of an animated program, escaped this 'update it for adults!' treatment unscathed. If you're gonna update something for adults, you really have to think about WHY it was good in the first place. Not take just what you had, and stamp lots of expletetives or flashes of red to indicate actual blood on there. You need either to actually SAY something, completely useful and different, or, just stick to your guns with the old formula, and do it so well it exceeds the hype for the original. Which is also near being impossible to do. Hence, it begs the question, why do it at all?

…Sorry for this TEDTalk, I just love being an absurd mess at 2AM when I have better more boring adult things to do.

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #? Soldier Soldier S06 EP.09 Asking for it (Con's Conography. 1996)

In future if you want to read all of these posts, I've added the tag 'Con's Conography'. Now they're all in one nice spot!

Warnings for: Sexual assault/rape (committed by Con's character), abuse of power within the military structure, assault, abuse of power, sexist comments(what you would expect from the military).

Should I watch this before reading this? Is it worth it?:

Con plays a military official who abuses his station, sexually assaults a female private under his care, and semi-gets away with it with barely a scuff on the wrist in the end.

It's a really fucking good story about how women are treated in the military. Especially victims of sexual assault. He uses his power to try to get her kicked out. When that fails, he knows they're onto him. Without much evidence, he can't be prosecuted so he asks for a transfer, which he receives. He's not a repeat offender, his first assault happens mid-way through the episode, but he's a fucking jackass who couldn't take no for an answer. They give him internal reasons why he thinks he didn't go too far, and it is very real. If you're still interested, watch it.

Again, cause I went into this fully blind I will be saying whoreish things about Con. If you just look at his costumes, he has some 'hot' ones in this if you don't know what he does. If you look up Soldier Soldier a good chunk of it is people rebloging hot photos/gifs of Con without context.

He did this 1 year after Scarborough Ahoy and basically has a shorter haircut. Still in the 'hot young Con era'. They literally throw him into a pool fully clothed for fucks sake. After the scene happens, my tune changes. I promise. Again, they don't define him as a man with a history of assault, but Con's character is definitely the type to think 'I only fucked up once, I'm still a good person.' just fucking gross.

If it's too much skip around my live reaction and jump to the end for my final thoughts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, military. Should have guessed based on that title. This intro is very 80s for the 90s. If they kill anyone I'll kind of be surprised.

CON! IMMEDIATELY!

Angry swim coach Con, yes.

God, he pulls off military type so well.

"If you've got the energy to smile, go give me a few more laps." HELL YEAH.

God, I know that's his voice, but god it sounds like it hurts.

I hate military types...so much.

This bike tampering is dumb, and dangerous, and is going to get both of them beat up. Also, these men(E-1 privates) 'respect' women more than any vet I've met.

I'd be entertained by that shit. And fucker seems like an ass so might as well give it to him.

Con looks huggable in that jacket. It's a nice soft blue. Love it.

CON IN A HAT! With a little feather.

"I never thought of you as a romantic!" GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. Can he just be evil? Or a douche? Every single fucking project this guy needs to be sad and lonely, wanting a friend/lover. Hurt by a past relationship and just wanting justice in his life. Don't get me wrong, I eat this shit up with a goddamn spoon. But Fucking HELL. EVERY CHARACTER?

HE'S DIVORCED. THAT MEANS HE'S AVAILABLE BABY. "There's only room for one woman in my life, I joined the army, she made a man out of me." I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

ALSO THAT CARDIGAN, AHHHH. It's obviously cheap military clothes, but god.

CON SMILING BABY!

(The young couple we've been following all episode) They're a cute couple (I say, a military brat that got out before I was 10. They'll fuck, have a kid, and be just as unhappy as anyone else on base. Divorce before their kids fifth birthday. Love that)

OHH I think I've seen clips of this scene!

ROBERT! THEY GAVE HIM THE NAME ROBERT. :) Funny in an Ironic way. He couldn't find a date? If he's a teacher then he probably doesn't leave base often, and a divorce? This man is going to be relationship adverse as fuck.

Also, parental issues be damned, he looks nice in uniform

I love that he got all up in his space, and Robert just looked fucking dead inside. Then he ruined his meal.

Also, please tell me he isn't going to fucking go after a woman in his charge. :). Please. Fucking please. I'm holding on by the edge of my rope, if he takes advantage of his subordinate, I will be pissed.

God, Con's speech around 12:30 sounds like a good ol' time.

BOB. I know it's a shortening of Robert, but Jesus fuck.

Also, this amount of restraint is admirable. He should have gotten screamed at.

We as the audience are probably supposed to think he's an ass. Nah, he didn't humiliate him in front of the other officers, held his ground when he thought he was being made fun of. This is just good leadership. Izzy Hands could fucking learn a thing.

Bitch, he would have already heard about them fucking. The gossip would have been spread by lower-level officers. This 'damn, she got away' thing shouldn't work.

OOooooo sexist Con line. Don't like that.

Small break to talk about a fun real life military thing.

His point about some people getting ahead by passing tests is a real thing many in the military resent. (In the US you go up an E-4 on day 1 if you have a bachelor's degree in anything, to Corprol. Hell, depending on if you were reserves you could go up higher, when most start as E-1). This motivates some to join up even after they could get a job away from the civilian world. If you are poor, you're fucked. Take the long way around and don't get good pay.

Personally I see what Robert is saying here to be the main thing Izzy holds a grudge with Stede over. Stede was able to purchase being a captain where as he had to fight for it. Possibly die for it.

Now, back to this episode. There are bullshit and bigoted reasons behind this belief, not just class-based. It's used to say why women shouldn't serve, etc. Con's a sexist pig here and says these same reasons. It is exactly the reason I never followed in my family's footsteps. In male-dominated fields they will 9 times out of 10 treat you like shit. BACK TO THE SHOW.

Robert, if you fucking assault this woman I will reach into the screen and murder your ass.

Okay, a drunken apology is fun. Jackass trying to get in her pants.

EWWWW.

Forced attempted kiss/assult.

Don't like this. Mam, just scream close to the doors if you feel uncomfortable. Jesus Christ. OH THAT'S FUCKED UP.

Okay, he's forcing himself onto her. Gross.

Also, real-life examples of abuse of military power.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S EMBARRASSING TO PAY FOR SEX, RAPE ISN'T BETTER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

He assaults her here.

Hey, you remember when I didn't want con to be in roles where he wasn't sympathetic. NOT LIKE THIS. This is actually one of the worst things you could have made him do.

BEAT HIS ASS UP. (This is around the 40-minute mark.)

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF HE'S HIGH RANK, IM SWINGING.

This is where I started skipping around, thus why the rest is so short. It's all too painful and real. He's called into the office to answer for his crimes and bluff.

He threatens her in private, and thinks that he's going to get away with it.

Again, the military is in to protect their ass, but it's good to see the woman investigator standing up for the victim.

OH GOOD, FUCKING KILL HIM (he's almost drowned from the victims boyfriend, but gets stopped).

So, at the end of the day. There's not enough evidence to put him in jail or kick him out. She's left traumatized, and Robert gets away with some glares and very little else.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story: 8-9/10. Very real. I was wearing Con tinted glasses, but as a military kid who grew up around this shit, I almost immediately coped with him as the type to assault an officer. Lonely, doesn't get out much and feels like women owe him something. The type.

Con: ?/10 He plays A Fucking Vile piece of shit. The worst of it is you know his character has half a dozen reasons of justification. I was tempted to write out all the ones he says in the show, but no. I've heard it all before when men come onto me, and I tell them I'm gay. 'But you looked at me and smiled?' type shit. He plays the part really fucking well. Skin crawling performance of a 'nice guy'. He just does it so realistically I don't want to say like 3/10 you know?

Characters besides Con: Realistically, and sadly, more men would have sided with Robert. He has the rank, and though not well-liked, he would have been given the benefit of the doubt more than he was in the show. Everyone's performances were realistic and semi-heartwarming with how they believed the E-1. I liked the main couple and I hope they get together in the end. This a good example of why we need high-ranking women in the military.

Editing: Of it's era but non intrusive.

Overall: ?/10. I don't know how to put this one.

Again, if I wasn't ex-military kid/grew up around vets it wouldn't hurt as much. They sell you a dream when you grow up thinking the military does no wrong. How successful your male family members are and how they are heroes. But as a little girl, I quickly saw just how fucking dangerous to live up to these expectations was as an woman. On and off the field. If the purpose in this was to reassure the public that female victims would be believed, then it kind of works as propaganda.

This show fully explores it in a military with less rigor than the one I'm used to seeing. Still the same sexism bullshit regardless of where you are.

Don't worry, I'm watching a Val (BBC Uncle) mega cut after this to soothe my head.

I'd love to hear if anyone else has watched this, and your thoughts on it!

Have a lovely day.

thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the list :)

[ear-worthy]

iHeart Podcasts That Are Ear Worthy: Historical Records & Radio Ambulante

I'm a big fan of Questlove, and an enthusiastic supporter of podcasts that focus on diverse communities that define and enrich the U.S. That being said, iHeart should be proud of these two podcasts. ************************************************** Historical Records podcast spotlights under-celebrated historical heroes

Historical Records is a new podcast that blends hip-hop and history, debuted its trailer on September 19 and launched officially on September 27. The project, conceived by Story Pirates’ Benjamin Salka and Lee Overtree; co-executive produced by Story Pirates Studios, Questlove’s Two One Five Entertainment, and Johnathan Glickman, CEO of Miramax; and co-produced and distributed by iHeartPodcasts. "We are excited to announce 'Historical Records,' a project born from the collaboration between Story Pirates Studios, Questlove, Jonathan Glickman, and iHeart," said Benjamin Salka, Co-Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Story Pirates, and Co-Executive Producer of Historical Records. "This new podcast series melds history with hip-hop, energizing each narrative with our collective creativity and insight. The vision and guidance from Miramax’s Jonathan Glickman, coupled with the creative and musical contributions from Questlove's Two One Five, have been crucial in making history resonate with today's audience through the power of music and storytelling."

Hosted by Story Pirates alumni and Broadway actress Nimene Wureh (“Our Town,” Fall 2024), Historical Records will feature the trailblazing stories of under-celebrated historical heroes from the past in fields such as social change, science, sports, and the arts, reimagined into original hip-hop tracks. Each episode pairs these unique songs with distinct historical narratives. Following each song, an insightful discussion will take place between a curious kid (ages 8-14) interested in the topic and a modern-day notable figure in that field, intertwining musicality with history in a way that’s educational, entertaining, and engaging for kids and grownups alike.

"Integrating historical storytelling with the universal language of music opens up a dynamic way to empower young people," said Lee Overtree, Co-Founder and Chief Creative Officer of Story Pirates, and Co-Executive Producer of Historical Records. “By focusing on under-celebrated heroes such as Ida Tarbell, Josh Gibson, Keith Haring, and Bill Russell, we aim to cultivate a deep sense of possibility, inspiring listeners to think big and to blaze bold new paths, just like the changemakers before them.”

Special guests for the podcast include modern-day notable figures such as Bob Kendrick, President of the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum; Jalen Rose, a former professional basketball player and Co-Founder of the Jalen Rose Leadership Academy in Detroit, Michigan; Roxane Gay, author of the New York Times bestseller "Bad Feminist"; Dr. Sanjay Gupta, a neurosurgeon and Emmy Award-winning journalist for CNN; Shepard Fairey, a contemporary artist and Founder of OBEY, among many others. These guests will help bring the stories of these under-celebrated historical heroes to life, connecting the past with the present. New episodes will be released every Friday.

Story Pirates is an award-winning company best known for the Story Pirates Podcast, which has over 90 million downloads globally, highlighting its mission to elevate the ideas, interests, and perspectives of kids. The popular Story Pirates Podcast takes stories submitted by kids and turns them into sketch comedy and songs with help from celebrity guests like Kristen Bell, John Oliver, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Sara Bareilles, Seth Meyers, Bowen Yang, and others.

*****************************************************

 Radio Ambulante comes to My Cultura podcast network

iHeartMedia and Radio Ambulante Studios (RAS), a pioneering Spanish-language podcast production company that tells the stories of Latin America and Latino communities around the world, have announced a deal that will bring Radio Ambulante and its full slate of shows to iHeart’s My Cultura Podcast Network. As part of the deal, Radio Ambulante Studios’ flagship, award-winning podcast Radio Ambulante along with its groundbreaking weekly news show El Hilo and its anthology docuseries Central will now be distributed by iHeartPodcasts as part of My Cultura, iHeartMedia’s podcast network dedicated to elevating Latinx voices and stories. Under the new partnership, the two companies will also develop and co-produce a minimum of two new shows over the next two years.

Celebrating the launch of its 14th season in late September, Radio Ambulante has covered stories of love and migration, of youth and politics, of the environment and families in extraordinary circumstances across Latin America, sharing with listeners more than 260 episodes produced in more than 20 countries. It is heralded as the most ambitious narrative-journalistic podcast in Latin America, offering a sound portrait of the continent and anywhere Spanish is spoken. For the past eight years Radio Ambulante, the studio’s flagship podcast, was distributed by NPR.

“We couldn’t be more excited about this new stage in the development of Radio Ambulante Studios,” said RAS Executive Producer and host, Daniel Alarcón. “iHeart and My Cultura will put our three podcasts in front of potentially enormous audiences and allow our journalism to have an even greater impact for Latino and Spanish-speaking audiences everywhere.”

Radio Ambulante Studios is a pioneering Spanish-language podcast production company that tells the stories of Latin America and Latino communities around the world. Founded in 2011, its mission is to achieve a greater understanding of these communities through well-told, rigorously reported, and expertly produced audio journalism, offering the audience a nuanced portrait of a complex and vital region.

“We are so honored to embark on this new journey with Radio Ambulante Studios,” said Gisselle Bances, Head of My Cultura for iHeartMedia. “They have created remarkable, top-quality Spanish content that time-and-time again delivers such remarkable stories, allowing our community to learn more about Latin America. We are excited to join forces and help expand the reach of these stores, and others, through the My Cultura Podcast Network.”

iHeartMedia’s My Cultura Podcast Network was announced in May 2021. The network is home to hit podcasts including Connections with Eva Longoria; Princess of South Beach starring Rachel Zegler (West Side Story) and Sheryl Rubio (Casa de las Flores); Wrestling with Freddie with Freddie Prinze, Jr. and many more.

The Radio Ambulante slate and all shows on The My Cultura Podcast Network are distributed by iHeartPodcasts.

[getmemymicroscope]

It's crazy to think about how Emraan Hashmi's career has gone from 'serial kisser' (Murder, Zeher, Tumsa Nahin Dekha, Aashiq Banaya Apne, Aksar) to spanning a career that includes not just 'serial kisser,' but also: 'one who always dies' (*spoiler warning*: Murder, Chocolate*, Kalyug, Aksar, Gangster, Awarapan, Jannat, Jannat 2, Hamari Adhuri Kahani, Chehre); large cast star (Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai, Mumbai Saga, Baadshaho, Shanghai; The Dirty Picture); and even occasionally solid single-lead movies (Why Cheat India; Ungli; Raja Natwarlal; Mr. X). That's not to say all the movies were amazing or anything, but he's become pretty dependable as an actor (and while the song quality hasn't lived up to the success of his first couple of movies - which was going to be hard to do, living up to this appearance of Himesh as a singer, and then even getting Atif Aslam involved there for a bit - Zeher, especially; Kalyug, too - it is still pretty good overall). In fact, in this aside about songs in his movies, while you can't go wrong with Aashiq Banaya Apne and Aksar, as full soundtracks, I also love Tum Mile and Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai, and essentially every movie has one to two absolutely solid songs.

At the same time, it really sucks to see Akshay Kumar struggling through a string of flops right now, because - well, this is nothing like his string of bad movies in 1994 (11 movies released in total - though Mohra and Main Khiladi Tu Anari were actually good, and Suhaag was entertaining) or 1997 (7 movies in total) or that weird span he had of really bad 'comedies' that people inexplicably loved (Garam Masala, Deewane Huye Paagal, Phir Hera Pheri, Heyy Babyy, Khatta Meetha, Action Replayy, Tees Maar Khan, Thank You - though I will admit to, on multiple rewatches, having developed a soft spot for the absolute spoofiness of Tees Maar Khan). That's not to say his movies this past year were all excellent (looking at you, Raksha Bandhan, which was one of the worst movies I've ever seen), but this string seems to be more because people are stupid (they are) than a bad choice in movies. Sure, Ram Setu left something to be desired and Cuttputlli suffered from one too many idiot characters, but Akshay's been solid throughout. This isn't a rehash of the early 90s, that's for sure - people are just being dumb (as evidenced by the box office, aside from Pathaan, has been a disaster).

Selfiee is, by no means, one of Akshay's greatest roles ever - and probably not Emraan's either. But it's nowhere near 'bad' or anything either. Probably what hurts it most is that it depends entirely on being an emotional drama (with that random attempt at comedy that is the other actor, which arguably wasn't really needed for the story - but I guess it works a bit better than having him be a completely serious competitor) - and in a day of crazy action movies, emotional drama appears to be a bit harder for people to sit through.

At it's core, though, it reminds me a lot of Taxi No. 9211 (which I absolutely love!) - it's not as good, in my biased opinion, possibly because by making one of the characters a 'big name actor' (in the movie, I mean, not because they cast Akshay Kumar), the movie automatically goes to a much larger scale than the individual battle between Jai and Raghav. That battle is contained between them, and their loved ones, and one poor rule follower/pencil pusher at a bank; whereas here, almost immediately, it becomes a full-scale nationwide thing involving not just 'a common man,' but instead the "Common Man." And that just seems to be a bit harder to pull off, especially about something like a driving test (like, what the hell is up with that 10 question test he gives him; are they able to freestyle questions like that?).

The other movie that comes to mind is An Action Hero - which is sort of funny, because Akshay had a guest appearance in that role where he was advising Ayushman's character on what to do in that setting. Of course, in that movie, it was the death of someone and not just a driving test issue - and also, of course, the movies are completely different and pursue completely different stories. But the idea of an actor 'gone rogue' (less rogue, here, since he's actually able to defend himself) and the country up in arms about the sudden lack of deitiness of their self-annointed god is very similar - to the point where, in both movies, we have a bunch of very, very annoying media people who just do not shut up.

As this movie progressed, I saw more and more similarities to Taxi No. 9211 - Emraan as Nana, Akshay as John. And while the scale is much more grand, the basic battle - egos; common man versus rich man - in the backdrop of a time limit brought forth by something out of their control is very similar. Not as fun, here, maybe - I don't want to keep harping on it, but I really do think a lot of it had to do with the overzealous public that was over-the-top invested in everything - but still pretty fun overall.

Main Khiladi Tu Anari is obviously a fun song (though, sadly, it's an end credit song - though, given the gist of the movie, I think that was pretty obvious from the moment the song released) - a rant about Bollywood's obsession with destroying old classics with remixes instead of just coming up with new stuff aside - but the song at the beginning was just meh. The background music that played was pretty cool. Akshay and Emraan are, obviously, absolutely fantastic. Absolutely love them. Diana Penty sadly has very little scope, and Nushrratt Bharuccha's role is only slightly bigger. Adah Sharma was a surprise, in the sense that I had no idea she was going to be in the movie.

I do like that they didn't drag everything out too far and give us too many false endings (a la Pathaan, or RRR) - the whole thing is about a driving test, and they do pretty good about sorta sticking to that. There's probably a lot that could be said about the over deification of stars by the public (very similar to the bullshit that goes on with some politicians here, and with religious zealots here and there) and how ridiculously people act in that setting (see: the paparazzi, aka media, the entire movie; the fans at the end, once Akshay leaves; the talking media heads on the TV, egging everything on), but sadly, we're probably a long, long time from that changing. Whether you should ever think of some such celebrity as a god is questionable (no; the answer is a very simple no); but the society is such that so many people do it (see, again, the success of Pathaan, for example, and the stupid zealots that keep pushing a boycott over things like the color of a sari or lyrics in a song or words in a dialogue or content in a book).

I really did enjoy this movie, and I would not be opposed to watching it again for entertainment.

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Kirk and Spock: Canon Musings and Fandom Curiosities Of an LGBT+ Trek Fan

Here are some thoughts surrounding the fandom controversy of anti k/s shippers who get uppity with those of us who enjoy it; specifically those members of our fandom who have now taken to bemoaning how "woke" Trek has become despite it always being "woke", or the recent fresh flush of anti-LGBT rage stirred up in select fans at our (checks latest reason for outbursts) SNW enthusiasm.

As a member of LGBT+, I can't help but bring my own experiences in this fandom into this, too, because I feel it is relevant. So let's have a conversation.

FYI, This is not in alignment or support of those k/s forcefeeders who try to browbeat all fans into agreeing that k/s is canon, which I'm not cool with. Everyone should be able to enjoy the fandom however they see fit - don't conflate extremism with fandom. If someone enjoys this fandom thinking Spock/Chapel or asexual Spock or platonic besties Kirk and Spock then leave them alone. -_- They have every right to enjoy this fandom in their own way as much as you do. To quote Jim: "Don't push, Charlie."

What I mean is, k/s fans who simply enjoy entertaining the idea as canon for ourselves and like-minded fans, while some other Trek fans get rabid stinging mad and offended about it for some reason.

I've been told that even the idea that Jim Kirk might be bi is "disgusting", "perverted", a "twisted, sick fantasy" to name a few examples. . . No joke. Actual Twitter comments from people who think simply liking both men and women is "perverted". Y'all TIL that just the idea of being bi is a "twisted, sick fantasy". And as a bisexual person in a fandom that gave us a concept like IDIC, I wasn't feeling very welcome or embraced after reading some of that anti-bi vitriol. My existence is not "perverted" or "twisted", nor is the love I have shared with my married partner for the past 12 years. But I digress. I'm not about to be chased away from something I love because of the usual cowardly stream of anti-LGBT+ pearl clutching and dismissiveness from a loud minority that has become so commonplace in our society. 

"They're trying to make everything gay now it's so stupid and unrealistic I'm so tired of hearing about gay things" *Looks pointedly at the decades of STRAIGHT ONLY representation being celebrated: straight-centric holidays, the fact that gay marriage was illegal for decades and yet in order to be allowed to visit a dying partner in the ICU, they required you to legally be family; this meant that while straight couples always got to say their proper goodbyes to the loves of their lives on their hospital deathbeds, LGBT+ couples were denied this right on the basis of not being legally allowed to get married throughout the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and early 00s, plus constant cultural straight-washing forced on everybody from day 1 in the form of creepy fake child kindergarten wedding invites and baby rompers that say gross things like "Daddy's Little Lady Killer"*

It all seems rather aggressive for so mild a suggestion pertaining to fictional characters that are living in the future where this would all be a lot more likely and casual regarding gender and sexuality.

Anyway, moving on from that disappointing dumpster fire of interactions that I and others were on the receiving end of as a member of LGBT+ in the Trek fandom . . . the fandom is typically very open minded and welcoming, but there are always a few turd nuggets in any gold heap.

With all that unpacked, it made me curious: just what are they protecting so fiercely? What are they canonically terrified of losing? Swaggering Jim who is doomed to hop from broken relationship to broken relationship? Are they saving Jim Kirk from the Bisexual boogeyman? What exactly are they vehemently defending, if they are so against that take?

I guess what I'm curious about is this: What is their ideal pairing or TOS ship that seems logical to them that we are threatening by loving our ship, if any at all? (Hey I know some of you are just here for the spaceship porn and don't give a shit about any of this, fill your boots. Come on down and ignore us fools obsessed with make believe characters, we love you all.)

If y'all don't think the affection was certainly sufficient enough for their relationship to be considered romantic (as Gene Roddenberry put it) . . . Well then, who or what else? What makes more logical sense, given the canon we have been given? I don't ask this antagonistically, but with genuine curiosity about theories. I'm not here to shoot anyone down, opinions are welcome. I've just always wondered about the other takes.

The canon is so weird in that unlike most other stories where they try to beat you over the head with hetero happily ever after, Star Trek canon keeps Kirk and Spock's long term romantic details -- especially Spock's -- quite ambiguous. We never see them get married, or settle down with anyone specific, officially on screen or in the canon.

Not that characters have to have a relationship to feel fulfilled, but this is all based on what we know of these characters in particular; we already know that Spock and Jim have expressed a desire and need for love, companionship and connection.

We know Jim is brimming with affection; he is a VERY openly affectionate person who often vulnerably ruminates on love and feelings of loneliness.

He constantly expresses a want and need for a partner to understand him and love him as he is, and he talks a great deal about  how being alone is a fear or discomfort of his. Even though he romances often, Jim usually ends up dumped or removing himself from the relationship because ultimately, nobody seems to respect or understand his commitment to his ship and Starfleet on a personal level -- they don’t seem to truly understand him -- that is, besides Spock. But Jim is right of course; he shouldn't have to give up who he is and what he loves in order to be loved or understood. True love is what happens when a person sees you just as you are and still wants to buy what you’re selling, warts and all.  And the only person who seems to share this love and enthusiasm for his ship and his job with that same keen level of understanding is Spock.

This comes up in even some of the earliest episodes of TOS.

"This vessel. I give, she takes. She won't permit me my life. I've got to live hers." - Kirk to Spock

Conversely, Spock has convinced himself that he doesn't need love or anyone else to survive, and how he grapples with that throughout TOS. By the end of the motion picture, he finally realizes how wrong that is and says as much to Jim by confessing his feelings and how he needs them -- specifically, how he needs Jim.

So if Kirk and Spock aren't the closest to one another and the most likely spouses, I’m curious: who else? What makes more sense then, canonically, knowing what we know about Kirk and Spock in TOS/The Movie canon from start to finish?

We never expressly hear of Spock having an official significant other named throughout canon. A marriage is alluded to in TNG, but we do not know to who -- or anything about their gender/identity. The writer of Spock's autobiography describes him as "widowed" from Kirk. This is just about the closest reference that we get (outside the vague mention in TNG) resembling Spock having some semblance of an intimate love relationship long term.

I genuinely don’t feel there is another character in the TOS canon that reoccurs throughout it that you could argue the canon explicitly intended or set up for Spock to end game be with aside from T'Pring, who shot him down for Stonn.

Usually when people say a character is straight, it is because the canon has already arranged an obvious hetero end game pairing for them with blatant evidence. 

For Spock, that never happens -- not an end game situation with another character that is anything remotely close to being as intimate, personal, or affectionate as what he develops with Jim. 

The closest we ever get is Chapel, Zarabeth or Leila -- all of which we know for certain were never canonically described or written as Spock's long term partner - we'd know about it by now if that were the case. (Note 1: I didn’t count Saavik here as their relationship wasn’t primarily developed or sold as truly romantic or an end game romance. I feel if that were the case, they would have blasted that from the rooftops -- whereas the mentor-apprentice relationship they shared is prominent and obvious. She doesn’t come back outside the canon she appeared in, they aren’t mentioned as settling down or having a relationship later in-canon. . . Basically she got down with Spock’s mindless meat thrall teen body while his katra was in another castle in ST III so that the body wouldn’t die. If that constitutes an intimate romantic relationship to you, please get help.)

(Note 2: I am writing this from the perspective that Spock is not ace based on TOS evidence such as Amok Time, The Enterprise Incident, All Our Yesterdays, and This Side of Paradise as examples which highlight Spock's capacity for sexual desire and offers a mild suggestion of interest in sex -- however rarely it appears. However if y'all interpret Spock as ace though, my take is one take and it ain’t gospel-- power to you fam, rock that ace Vulcan.)

In Kirk's case, Jim very obviously loves women. He has a number of genuine relationships with them; he most notably has a failed serious relationship with Carol Marcus. That would be the closest thing canon did to assigning an official long term partner for Jim, but the films and comics make it very clear that Carol and Jim were unhappy together -- so much so that Carol left Jim, and demanded that Jim stay away from his only child and not be a part of his life. She denied him the ability to participate as a father selfishly; not for David’s benefit, but for her own personal benefit. She wanted to have nothing to do with Kirk, and she kept their child from knowing his father or following in his footsteps. Truth be told, that wasn’t Carol’s decision or right to choose for David, ultimately. She can raise him, but it wasn’t her right to deny him access to his father or the option of exploring that side of himself. And in Kirk’s case, nor is that the kind of lot that the end game love of your life offers you in regards to a future with you and your child. 

Furthermore, what Carol had always feared is exactly what happened; David followed after Jim into the thick of the action, and he died as a product of it. Did Carol ever want to be in a relationship with Jim again, after their son was killed due to him trying to get Spock back? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't if it were my kid that died. There is also no mention in the canon of Jim and Carol ever rekindling, and any relationship Jim has with other people outside of Spock in canon are often fleeting; they never seem last long term. Besides Carol, he never truly "settles down" with anyone in canon for what could be considered a true “end game” scenario. 

So my question is, in canon, if Kirk and Spock aren't the most feasible answer for each other in terms of closeness, intimacy, mutual respect, love and admiration, who is?

It has been said time and again that they know and understand each other unlike anybody else in the canon -- that they are two halves of the same whole. Roddenberry himself said he intended them to complete each other: "You are closer to the captain than anyone else in the universe. You know his thoughts."/"Theirs had been the touching of two minds which the old poets of Spock's home planet had proclaimed as superior even to the wild physical love which affected Vulcans every seventh year during pon farr."

The pendant scene written for ST 2009. "I have been and always shall be yours."

The one thing I struggle to understand with anti-K/S fans is, do they prefer the idea that the guys just lived their whole lives for duty, contradicting the message of TMP about how essential love and connection is, and just kind of stayed lonely and isolated for the rest of their lives? Did Spock just have one off pon farr cycles with strangers and never knew what it felt like to actually be loved wholeheartedly by somebody?

Was Jim just destined to be a sad, lonely boss who's relationships always ended in the other person choosing their career over him, of putting him aside or dumping him, never knowing what it is like to be genuinely appreciated and cherished as opposed to discarded? He has had his heart and trust broken so many times. Is that really the life we are so sold to for James T. Kirk?

I can completely understand if folks would rather maintain the perspective that they are friends -- I think folks should enjoy stories in whatever way makes them happiest. I'm not here to say "IT'S CANON" *forcefeed* or that anyone has to buy what I'm selling, I'm just curious.

It blows my mind that the idea of Kirk and Spock getting a shot at real, genuine love -- that good shit you only get when you are intensely close with someone who understands you and you marry your best friend -- that that idea is less appealing to someone out there than "well they were just married to their duties forever, never made any other real long lasting, intimate bonds with other people or found true love, and they just kind of worked until they died. Kirk had an anthology of failed relationships that never stuck and Spock was just lonely till he died. The end." Like really? That gives you your jush? If it does then I love that for you, but for me that is just so . . . Cold.

Just . . . what the fuck? Being forever alone or a failure at love sounds so much more miserable than being secret gay?

Anyway, that's just one little bear's opinion, do with it what you will. But I'm on team "they had a secret but awesome love relationship for the remainder of their lives" over team "forever alone and married to work for the rest of their lives".

I'm on team "my boys deserve happiness".

If you want to ship fucking Horta x Balok fics or if you’re simply here for the nacelle porn a la Monty Scott and don’t give two damns about any of this, I’m here for you: you support something I love, and you aren’t hurting anybody while doing it.

Thanks for coming to yet another long winded, homoerotic Star Trek TedXTalk.

Remember that regardless of why you are in this fandom, so long as you are not hurting somebody else, I’m here for you. 

We don’t have to love something for the same reasons or the same way in order to love it just as equally. So even if we don’t see eye to eye about every little fan theory or sentiment, thanks for being here and supporting Star Trek, however you lean; so long as you are kind and open minded, I got you fam. LLAP, and IDIC.🖖 💚

[whowritesoverthewriters]

try guys hot take that didn’t make wapo

In 2014, the Try Guys were a band of friends making YouTube videos for Buzzfeed. In short order, the four attracted a following for being unapologetically themselves. There was Eugene Lee Yang, the queer Korean American guy known for his wit. There was Keith Habersberger, who was tallest and from Tennessee, and Zach Kornfeld, who was a Jewish New Yorker. And, of course, there was Ned Fulmer, a wholesome Florida man who graduated Yale. The foursome entertained viewers by testing out ladies’ underwear, doing drag and attempting UFC fighting.

As the Try Guys grew older, so did their brands. In 2018, they would go on to start their own YouTube channel that now has over seven million subscribers, leaving Buzzfeed behind. Keith launched his own hot sauce for chicken and Eugene came out as gay in a well-choreographed music video commanding 20 million views. Ned, in particular, built his brand around being the ultimate wife guy, going on sweet dates with his wife, Ariel. Videos from the past few years were titled names like “Couple Tries Home-Cooked vs. $120 Roast Chicken,” a series that Ned continued until earlier this year.

It was this perfectly distilled brand of “good husband and father" that Ned cultivated over eight years that came crashing down on Tuesday afternoon, after cheating allegations surfaced. Fulmer admitted on social media that he had “a consensual workplace relationship,” after fans theorized he had cheated with Alexandria Herring, a producer on the Try Guys channel.

On Tuesday, Try Guys announced via all social media channels that Ned was no longer working with them. “As a result of a thorough internal review, we do not see a path forward together,” the channel said in a statement.

The fallout did not go unnoticed by viewers — some of them who had been tuning into the channel since the Buzzfeed days — days before Try Guys made any announcement. Fans claimed online that it looked like Ned had been edited out of recent Try Guys videos, such as the camera cutting to footage of three of the guys, but there being a fourth chair visible in the background. Starting last week, Try Guys videos began with montage photos that were missing Ned. Their Instagram account hadn’t posted content with him since September 4.

The ongoing media fury and obsession would not have happened if Ned had not built his entire career on being the perfect wife guy. Wife guys are men who are known for being extremely into their wives, and just won’t stop talking about how they are so married.

Ned had this branding down to a science, with his wife Ariel Fulmer featured prominently across most of his videos. He spent years going on public dates with Ariel in YouTube videos, even turning pregnancy announcements for his two sons, Wesley and Finley, aged 1 and 4, into content. In a video from 2016 titled, “Couples Break Up For a Week,” Ned laments how sad it is to pretend to be single for a week, while showing us wedding photos of him and Ariel. Removing his wedding ring, Ned cringes at the camera.

Edit Info

Fans on YouTube have compiled the number of times Ned has said the words “my wife,” often in a Borat voice. In a video called “Couple Gets Trapped with No Internet for 90 Hours,” Ned proclaims, “There’s no one I would rather spend 90 years with,” while Ariel looks on at him sweetly.

Try Guys videos capture a certain era of the internet. It was the mid 2010′s, millennial YouTubers who had crafted very specific personas were taking off, especially with the financial backing of Buzzfeed. They were also pumping out videos at a fast and, some would say, unsustainable rate.

Ned and Ariel found the branding that worked for them, which monetized very well. It was the kind of wholesome content the internet craved more of, as fans declared them to be the perfect couple and a good example of a working marriage with two supportive parents. It’s the same premise that then captured viewers’ fascination when it all came crumbling down. What’s a wife guy without his wife?

Adultery alone wouldn’t sustain headlines and Reddit speculation for days. It’s the fact that being a husband and father is what we mainly know Ned Fulmer for. He was an unlikely person for people to suspect would be at the heart of a scandal like this.

Tuesday’s news had people on the internet asking which men they could trust. Increasingly, the internet finds examples of wife guys who just can’t be trusted. John Mulaney, a comedian who had been very public about his loving marriage, shocked onlookers when he filed for divorce from his wife last year and announced he was having a baby with actress Olivia Munn. Adam Levine, who had sang songs about his wife of eight years, admitted in September to sending flirtatious texts to another woman, where he asked if he could name his child after her.

If another Try Guy, say one that had built a brand around being edgy and rebellious (Eugene) had been caught up in a similar scandal, it wouldn’t have captured our collective attention the way that Ned’s quick fall from grace did. Ned’s own admission of guilt and subsequent departure from the Try Guys became the source of an internet meltdown because we want to have good role-models for fathers and husbands. They’re just hard to find.

In the parasocial relationships we form with celebrities, where we feel like we know them, it can be especially bizarre and captivating to see the mask fall away in real time. YouTubers Myka and James Stauffer drew outrage when they announced in 2020 that they had rehomed a child they had adopted and filmed life with for more than three years. When people’s public personas are so inextricably tied to their marriages, to being a faithful spouse and good parent, only for that to be revealed as a façade, it can start to feel like everyone’s business.

Try Guys really invited us into their homes, their lives and their relationships. And fans ate that up. Now that things have gone downhill, they’re still eating it up.

[sichengtual]

so you think you've fallen in love | d. sc

— summary: it’s 1997 and there are two things you’ve learned during your final year of college: one, you’re painfully in love with your childhood best friend and, two, you absolutely despise your next-door neighbor. however, sometimes, love and hate go hand in hand.

— pairing: dong sicheng x reader.

— genre: fluff, comedy (i hope); 90's au, friends to lovers, rivals to lovers, neighbors au, college au, painter! winwin.

— word count: 7,047 (7.0k)

— warnings: a bit of swearing, a brief joke about murder (no violence ever happens).

— song: kiss me — sixpence none the richer.

— a/n: for angel, @moonctzeny, as my gift for the @ficscafe exchange event! i’m so sorry about the delay, but i really hope you like it! 💞 as always, thank you to the love of my life, @svtxsoju, for helping me make sure it all makes sense! hehe i’m in jlove with jyou 💞.

You’re not completely sure about how it all started.

It’s a petty thing, really, and not one you should pay as much attention to as you do, but, as you realize the moment you stare down at the bright yellow paper in your hands, it’s not one you can get off of your mind. He makes your patience run out and your skin crawl, and it surprises you, because the mere thought of him has you biting the inside of your cheek in desperation.

You shouldn’t care. You really shouldn’t care, because, thinking about it, it’s not even that big of a deal. Right? It’s just paint cans. Yeah, paint cans right beside your door. Paint cans, right beside your door, almost making you trip. You do care.

“Prick,” you mutter under your breath, sticking the post-it note in the (nearly empty) bulletin board that hangs right beside the apartment complex’s door. “Asshole.”

Hey, 10B, pick up your spray-paint cans and I’ll give you back your blue mug… untouched. Fail to comply, and Pocchaco will suffer the consequences!

Nestled deep between a couple of big flyers, you realize it doesn’t really stand out much. It’s a small note, barely half of a normal post-it note, but still, bright yellow. And, most importantly, a note he’s probably gonna be looking for… especially after the one he’d left.

It had become a bit of a tradition, complaining to each other through small (and petty) notes via the complex’s bulletin board. It’s all trivial stuff, really; him asking you to not play The Smiths at top volume past two in the morning after going through a couple of sleepless nights, you asking him to not leave his paintings out on the hallway all night after suffering one too many headaches from the smell of fresh paint, and so on.

To be completely honest, in any other setting, it’d be almost entertaining. If only it was a song, or a movie, perhaps, and you’d be all about the classic Picking Dumb Fights With My Neighbor story. You’d even laugh at what the fights have been about, because, looking back, you probably wouldn’t have been in danger of tripping over his spray-paint cans if only you had been paying a bit more attention to your feet and a bit less to fixing the volume in your walk-man.

These dumb fights, however, do happen to you, and that way, it’s really not that entertaining. It’s infuriating, almost, because you really could go on about your day without having the urge to hide inside your apartment the moment you hear the door opening across the hall, simply because the thought of your neighbor stresses you just so much.

“You could just confront him, you know,” your roommate, Taeyong, says from next to you. He’s picking up pieces from an almond croissant with his fingers and eating them with each step he takes, coordinating the movement of his hand with the one of his feet. “Just go out there and stick the post-it note in his face. Say ‘Hey! Give me my T-tool back because I’ve been driving my roommate mad with how much I’ve asked for his!’”

“I thought you didn’t mind lending me your T-tool,” you reply, rolling your eyes. “And I’m not… I’m not talking to him. Ever. In fact, I wish I could pretend he doesn’t exist. If I ever saw him, I think I’d just... ”

“You’d just… what? I mean, for all you know, he might as well be a figment of your imagination,” Taeyong laughs. “You’ve never even seen the guy’s face. How do you know it’s not just me pulling one on you? Plot twist: that time you thought 10B had the slippers you had forgotten outside, it was me you had to bribe with chocolate milk to get them back!”

“I know it’s not you because I know you value me not letting your plants die,” you say. Taeyong gasps next to you, nudging your side with his elbow. “And you don’t like chocolate milk.”

“Nah, I just don’t like the one you make. Way too little cocoa powder,” he laughs, taking another piece of bread into his mouth. A little bit of the powdered sugar that tops the treat stays in the corner of his mouth, and he quickly wipes it with his tongue. “You could be a little more generous when you’re making it, share some more of your love with me, your best friend.”

You cross the street as Taeyong finishes his croissant, scrunching up the white paper bag it was in and putting the paper ball inside the pocket of his hoodie. He stops as you reach the sidewalk, turning so he can walk towards the record shop he works a morning shift in.

“Yeah, best friend, I’ll keep that in mind,” you smile. “So, I’ll pick up the pizza tonight after class and we’ll meet back home, right?”

Taeyong nods.

“The veggie one, but ask for extra peppers,” he smiles. “You know, to make up for the chocolate-less milk. I’ll be sure to tell you if 10B complied, and you can finally give the poor guy his mug back.”

He waves as he begins to walk back, and when he’s out of sight, you put a set of headphones over your ears. Reaching into your bag, you press play onto your walkman and “I Can’t Be With You” by The Cranberries flood your ears. The cold morning air rustles between the trees and crashes against your face, cool and crisp, and smelling like fall. The leaves in the ground crumble when you step over them, and with the music in your head, the walk down the street feels more like a movie with every step.

Coffee Tuesdays have become a sort of tradition for you and Sicheng.

Long ago, back when you were kids, there was not a single moment you and Sicheng ever spent apart. You had grown up together, being neighbors and childhood friends, but his family had to move away and even though you had both promised to, neither of you kept in touch. You had meant to, and even sent a few letters and postcards at first, followed by a couple emails, but time had passed and life had moved on. And then, so did you.

He had still been there, in the back of your mind, and you’d remember him in the pink hues of an afternoon sky in the winter, and in the thick, white wisps of steam from a cup of hot chocolate after a long day. He had still been there, in the summer breeze, and in the whispers of secrets and shared, secret jokes. He had still been there, in a friend’s smile after a long day, and there, too, in a warm, comforting hug. He had been your best friend, and your most trust-worthy confidante and, even though he never knew, your first (majorly unrequited, or at least, to your knowledge) love.

And then, there he was, too, one year ago, sitting in the only un-crowded table in the library with his headphones on and his walk-man buried between a stack of papers. He was there, in a comfy-looking hoodie, hair tousled from all the times he’d ran his fingers through it, and you had not recognized him at first.

Okay, yeah, to be completely honest, you hadn’t been paying much attention. It was almost one in the morning before your last final exam, and you had quickly asked him if the seat in front of him was free. He’d given you a polite nod, eyes not quite leaving his paper for anything more than a quick glance up and down your frame. It hadn’t been until almost an hour later, mid-Aerosmith’s Special Hits mixtape when Taeyong had waltzed in, placed a bag of chips in front of you and wished you good luck on your studying that Sicheng had actually looked at you.

“Wait, is it really you?”

“Oh my God, Dong Sicheng?”

He’d looked at you, and you had looked at him, and suddenly you were back in his backyard after school, trying to decide who had collected the coolest rock on the way home. He’d asked about you and you had joked with him, and the two of you had laughed, wholeheartedly, until you were eventually kicked out of the library and forced to study in the back of your dorm’s crowded cafeteria.

And now you’re here, hanging out after actually keeping in touch, still not exactly sure about how you have been able to live life without him.

“God, I don’t even know how to start,” Sicheng whines, throwing his head back, his shoulders relaxing upon the top of the seat. “Help me brainstorm, please. Here, you get a fry for every idea.”

“Didn’t you say it’s an abstract piece, Win?” You ask, drinking a sip from your coffee. It’s overly sweet, but you’ve been having the same drink ever since Sicheng had gotten the idea you’re a caramel latte aficionado, and you’re not really sure you have it in you to tell him he’s been buying you the wrong thing this entire time. “I don’t know how this entire art thing works, but doesn’t it come from your heart, or something like that?”

“That’s the thing,” he says. “All my heart is telling me these days is ‘Sicheng, you’re not rich enough to live on your own yet. Do not murder Hendery in his sleep, remember he pays half of the rent.’”

“Ah, all you need to do is leave Ivy boyfriend-less! Problem solved! You’ll get an A on your project once you get your focus back and you’ll be left with a full month of rent, but I think we really have to keep our priorities in check.”

“Do you promise to be my get-away driver?” He asks, grabbing a fry from the plate in front of you. “I’ll even let you play that weird mixtape you were listening to the other day.”

Resting a finger on your chin, you pretend to consider. You let out a hum, but you break into a soft laugh when Sicheng rolls his eyes at you. Leaning over the table, you steal one of his fries, taking a bite before he can say anything.

“I’d always be your get-away driver, Win,” you say, winking in his direction before finishing the fry. “No, but really. Why don’t you just give it a try? Pick some colors, see where they take you.”

He smiles, nudging the plate of fries closer to the center of the table. “Ah, I don’t know. The other option sounds quite nice right now.”

“He ate your leftovers, didn’t he?”

“It was Ivy’s Mexican food,” he explains, voice raising softly at the end of the sentence. “But I guess he’s the only reason Ivy gives us Mexican food anyways, so I’ll think about forgiving him while I work on my project. I don’t know, I might change my mind.”

“Such a proactive man,” you tease. “You know, that rhyme you did moments ago… you could become a poet, it touched my heart and warmed my soul and all. Dong Sicheng’s Selected Poetry: how I discovered my true passion during my roommate-less senior year of school.”

“Yes, what could I ever do without your support,” he smiles. “I was about to say I’ll send you a copy of the first print, but I think I’ll let you help me with the full rent I’ll have to pay by making you purchase your own.”

You laugh at his words before stealing another one of his fries, and when he nudges the plate a little closer to your side of the table, you think about just how lucky you were to have run into Sicheng once again.

The entire apartment smells like paint.

It’s a Sunday, a quarter past two, and the rain that had fallen since morning has finally stopped. There’s a quiet tune flowing in the living room, music emanating from Kunhang’s record player (or, well, his girlfriend’s record player) and sounding like a 70’s love song. It’s soft, and melodic, and before he can even think about it, Sicheng is moving his body along to the calm beat of the music as he stares at the canvas in front of him.

Two days after your meeting, he still hasn’t figured his piece out. He’s been playing around with colors, mixing in different amounts of pigment in the search of a divine strike of inspiration, but even after fanning out different shades of yellow, he’s back on square one.

Truth be told, he can’t just quite focus. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the fact that he told you about it, and now can’t think of it without thinking of you, or if he has actually, seriously, lost every bit of artistic sense he once possessed. God, yeah, it must be the latter one.

“Still no luck?” His roommate, Kunhang, asks as he comes home from a quick walk to the store. He heard the dangling of the keys before he even heard the door opening, but still, the younger boy’s voice makes him jump in his seat. “You’re lucky that’s due in two weeks, or else you’d be fucked, my dude.”

“Your faith in me is comforting,” he replies. “Maybe it’s the full hour of Joni Mitchell I’ve been listening to, though. I know Ivy swears by this album, but man, I haven’t had my 70’s genius enlightenment yet.”

“Nah, it’s definitely you,” Kunhang smiles, reaching inside the pocket of his hoodie and handing Sicheng a pack of peanut M&M’s. “Joni is sort of Ivy’s muse, you know, but this album is actually a revelation. Trust her, hear her calling and she’ll help. She helped me pass my Econ final last semester.”

“That was you actually going to class,” Sicheng laughs, placing the paint palette down on the table and opening the packet of sweets. “I actually don’t know what to do, though. I’ve been sitting here all morning and my brain is as dry as my canvas — god, no, whatever joke you were about to make, keep it to yourself.”

His roommate lets out a loud laugh, walking towards the kitchen with a can of Coca-Cola in his hand. Sicheng hears a soft “pop” over the music, and turns his focus towards his canvas again.

“Didn’t you say your friend was gonna help you?” Kunhang asks, voice loud. He stops for a few seconds, and when he speaks again, Sicheng can just hear the smirk in his voice. “Oh… or is that why you can’t focus?”

He knows he’s out of sight, but when Kunhang’s words bring a blush to his cheeks, he still bites on his lip and turns towards the big window on his right, as if trying to hide.

“Weren’t you gonna go have lunch with Ivy today?” Sicheng asks, trying to distract his friend, but he knows it’s not going to work before he even says anything.

“No, not today,” his roommate responds, returning to the living room with a cup in hand. A rainbow straw rises from the center, and through the clear plastic of the cup, Sicheng can see the contents of the can Kunhang had just bought. Coke with a straw? “That’s not gonna… You’re not gonna distract me, Romeo. Tell me, is their face the only thing you see when you think about art?”

“God, shut up, stop talking, never speak to me again.”

Kunhang sits on top of his red beanbag, coming face-to-face with his friend. The hood of his sweatshirt is still over his head, with his long, black hair falling out and fawning across his forehead. And, god, he’s grinning.

“I just wanna help you, Win!”

Picking up the palette, Sicheng wets his brush on the cup of cleaning solution he had poured out (in hopes of actually painting), and squeezes in a drop of white paint next to the mustard yellow he had managed to mix. He sets his eyes on the paint, trying to visualize the way the light bounces back on the paper of the books you read, golden and warm, and he doesn’t even fight the way his thoughts just seem to go back to you once more.

“No, but really,” Kunhang says, sipping loudly from his rainbow straw. He alternates between sipping and blowing bubbles, and Sicheng isn’t sure about just why the younger had felt the need to drink Coke with a straw. “You should think about it. Consider following my advice, my young padawan.”

Sicheng hums. He doesn’t really pay much attention to his roommate’s words, much too occupied with bobbing his head to the rhythm of the music. He keeps his eyes trained on his palette, carefully watching the colors mixing in as he stirs his brush in the paint. He raises it a bit, enough for the sunlight to hit the color completely, before he resumes the action.

“You’re not listening to me,” Kunhang whines. He shakes his drink, the loud sound of the ice cubes crashing against the plastic distracting Sicheng from the task at hand. “It all gets better once you confess, you know. You can finally be happy!”

“Okay, you’re saying that like you have any experience in it,” Sicheng laughs. “Didn’t Ivy confess to you? You know, asked you out on a date and kissed you afterwards because you were taking oh so very long in actually admitting your feelings?”

“Yeah, they did, and their life has been significantly happier since,” Kunhang smiles, sipping the last of the Coke before setting the cup down on the coffee table. Hard. “It doesn’t make my words any less true, you know. We’ve all seen you pining, bro. Just rip the band-aid off, channel your inner Shakespeare and enjoy eternal smooches or whatever the hell you’re into.”

Sicheng sighs just as the song changes, and he listens to the opening riff in the Pixies song before finally turning to look at his friend. His canvas still lays untouched, a million thoughts running wildly inside his brain. A million thoughts; wild, reckless, and all of them materializing in the shape of you.

“We’re just friends,” he says. It’s a lie, and he knows. Kunhang does, too, and he lets out a soft laugh in response. “Hey, it’s true! We’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“And then you lost track of each other for, what, ten years?” Kunhang asks. “Look, my bro, heed my advice: sleep on it. Think about it while you paint, consider it as you walk to uni, do whatever you need to do to finally come to terms with the fact that you’re painfully in love with your best friend before it’s too late for you to do so.”

Before he can reply, a loud guitar riff interrupts his thoughts. He closes his eyes, lets out a quiet groan, and throws his head back before knocking on the wall once, twice, and three times, until his neighbor (and nemesis) finally ends up lowering the volume of Queen’s Stone Cold Crazy’s guitar solo.

“God, you must be kidding me! I’m seriously gonna — It’s Sunday, come on!”

“Don’t say anything Win, unless you want your Keroppi mug to go, too. I just saw you left it outside with your brushes,” Kunhang lets out a laugh. “You kind of deserve it, though, I saw the T-tool in the kitchen and I know you don’t skate.”

“Wait, they still haven’t returned Pocchaco? I cleared my cans when I saw the note!”

“So, how’s the painting going?” You ask.

“Oh, don’t remind me,” Sicheng replies. “I’ve even been trying to manifest some focus by following Kunhang’s partner’s advice and listening to sad 70’s songs while I stare into nothingness. Yeah, I’ve gone insane. Got some pretty nice yellow hues, though.”

It’s Monday, the sky is cloudy, and you and Sicheng have just run into each other after class. It’s not too rare to see him around campus, though usually, both of you are too busy with trying to get to class or enrolled in conversations, so the interactions barely go beyond a quick wave or a hurried ‘hello’. It’s funny, though, because never would you have guessed you two have almost the exact same schedule, and thus, the same free spaces in your day. Now that you do, though, you’re sure to make the most out of it.

“Sad 70’s songs?” You smile. “Well, why don’t you listen to something a bit happier? You don’t have to change the decade if you really like the 70’s, just make it a bit more cheerful. Do you have anything in mind for the yellows?”

“Not really, but I think I’m just gonna roll with it,” Sicheng replies. He looks around and guards his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, shivering a little from the cold. “I might get something nice.”

“Oh, that’s for sure,” you say, nudging at his side. “If there’s anyone that can make art out of a sea of yellow hues, that’s you, Win.”

If he were to be completely honest, Sicheng has always known he’s in love with you.

Even when you were kids, and even during the years you spent apart, you had always been in the back of his mind like the melody behind a love song or the inspiration behind a poem. And even during the moments when he wasn’t feeling so poetic, during the moments that he wished he could just, for once and for all, gather enough courage to finally admit what he was feeling, he kept thinking of you as he looked for signs.

A sign in your voice, or in your eyes, or in your smile. A sign in a memory, or in an action, or in whatever little thing he could think about that could maybe make him think that you could, maybe, feel the same.

“Ah, now you’re just being nice,” he says, looking to the side. He can feel the tips of his ears go hot, and he’s completely sure, his face is an entire hue of red and a half. “What about you, though? Did you manage to get the takes you told me about the other day?”

You throw your head back with a sigh. “Taeyong didn’t have enough time to help me this week, and now I’m model-less and a month away from the deadline.”

He chews the inside of his cheek, feeling the wind crash against his skin as he tries to make up his mind. He quickly finds, though, that there’s not really that much left to think about. All of his commitments, all of his nerves — it all quickly transforms to you. You make it all worth it.

“I’ll help you,” he says, quickly. “It’s a short film, right? I’m pretty sure I could just squeeze it in.”

You quickly turn to look at him, mouth opening wide. Sicheng shrugs, a soft smile on his lips, trying to look as smug as possible under your surprised stare. He’s not sure if you buy his confident act, but you don’t really say anything about it, so he keeps it up. What was that Kunhang had always said? Oh, yeah, fake it ‘til you make it.

“Win, no, you’re pretty busy yourself,” you shake your head. “Besides, Taeyong owes me from that time I helped him with his final essay, and I wouldn’t want to take your time from you.”

“It’s no problem, really, it’s way better than the times Kunhang asks me to hold stuff for him while he hot-glues them to his models. I’m pretty sure that’s where most of my time goes these days. Besides, you told me you have the script already, right?”

You let out a laugh, soft. “Yeah, I’ll photo-copy it for you. God, Win, I don’t think I can thank you enough for this. You’re really about to save my life.”

He turns to face you, smiling at you from the side. He doesn’t need it, really, because seeing you as happy as you are right now, by his side, is more than enough. As your friend, as your boyfriend, as the model for your film, he doesn’t care — he just cares about being there with you.

“Are you going home? I can walk you in case it starts raining,” Sicheng offers, hands still balled up inside the pocket of his hoodie. As if on cue, loud thunder cracks from up above, and you can begin to smell the upcoming rain as you walk. “Or if you have some free time, we can go for a coffee? I could really use something warm right now.”

Your smile fades a little. “Oh,” you begin. “I promised to cover Taeyong’s shift at the record shop today. Roommate privileges and obligations, or whatever. Rain check?”

“Tomorrow?” He asks, and when you nod, he’s sure he can feel his spirits raise a bit. “I mean, we usually hang out on Tuesdays anyways.”

“It’s a date,” you say. You smile wide again, biting your lip as you hope he catches the tone in your voice. “We could go out for dinner if you want to, you know, change it up a bit.”

Sicheng blushes, a bit too hard for you not to notice, and he lets out a quiet giggle. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to anchor his nerves in a physical action, and you have to restrain yourself to not mention just how handsome he looks when doing that.

“Yeah,” he nods. He smiles, feeling his feet rising from the ground in his mind, because he thinks about your words and he feels like he’s flying, and he looks at your mind and he realizes that he never wants to come down. “Yeah, it’s a date.”

Taeyong’s coffee maker is loud.

You can faintly hear the bubbling of the water as the coffee brews, even over the music, and just as you’re about to comment on it, the scent starts reaching your nose. It makes your mouth water, and you turn towards the kitchen to see the little red dot still lit on top of the machine. You let out a quiet groan. Taeyong’s coffee maker is loud and slow.

It’s Tuesday, the clock marks a quarter to six, and your date with Sicheng feels closer and closer with every passing second. You had tried to not think about it during the first half of your day, but the reminder had you daydreaming as soon as you had stepped out of the shower in the morning.

“God, you’re just as dramatic as Johnny,” Lily, your best friend, comments. She’s sitting next to you on the living room couch, her flowy pink sundress pooling against her legs. “Five more minutes without coffee isn’t really going to kill you guys.”

“Says you,” Johnny comments, smiling at his girlfriend. “I’ll be sure to remind you of this the next time your quesadilla takes too long to grill, baby.”

“Okay, you do that on purpose though!” She exclaims, pointing in his direction. “I hear you laughing from the kitchen every time!”

Johnny gasps loudly, slapping a hand to his chest. “Me? Your loving boyfriend, doing that to you? To your quesadillas?”

His laughter betrays him, though, and he throws his head back mid-giggle as the coffee maker lets out a loud beep. Finally! Johnny smiles as he rises from one of the single couches by your side, quickly taking your place next to Lily as you walk towards the kitchen.

Grabbing two mugs from a shelf, you bop your head softly to the music coming out of the record player. The album, Prince’s Purple Rain, had been a Christmas gift from Jaehyun and his girlfriend, the third pair in your friend group, and something you had started listening to as a way to try and calm your nerves. It had been a sort of tradition when you still lived in your dorm and you visited Taeyong, Jaehyun and Johnny’s apartment (before the later two moved in with their girlfriends), and now that you share a place with your best friend (and the only single one out of the three), you keep that tradition going.

You hadn’t admitted it to your friends when they had asked (although you’re pretty sure they’re able to tell), but the idea of actually, finally, going on a date with Sicheng still has your heart beating wildly against your chest. What if things went wrong? Or worse, what if he suddenly realized you two are better off as friends? You’re not even completely sure he thinks of it the way you do. When he said yes, had he thought it was a friendly date? What if he had never intended to say yes, romantically, at all?

God, are you overthinking it? Yeah, you probably are.

“No, that’s just too many shots in a single coffee,” you hear Lily laugh, the sound breaking you out of your daze. “That's why you can't go to bed early! Isn't it too many shots?”

“Huh?” You turn, facing your friend. Johnny has his arm draped over her shoulders, but she’s still looking at you over the edge of the couch. “Are you asking me?”

“Ah, you’re right, I forgot you probably drink just as much coffee as him,” she smiles, bringing a hand to her head to smooth out a strand of her pink hair. “Where is the other tea lover when I need him?”

“He had a double shift,” you answer, filling both cups with steaming coffee. “He said he’d meet you guys for dinner here, though.”

You leave Johnny’s black, but you sprinkle in a packet of brown sugar in yours, shaking the cup a bit as you walk back to the couch. You quickly regret your action when some of the liquid inside the cup spills from the side, hot against the inside of your hand.

“Oh, you’re not staying?” Johnny asks, confused, as you hand him his cup. “I can’t believe it! Come on, I even brought the Beatles Monopoly for after dinner like you asked! You're telling me I carried this giant box around for nothing?”

You can’t help but laugh at his dramatism. Lily, next to her boyfriend, nudges his shoulder with hers.

“I, uh,” you begin, walking towards the chair Johnny had been using. “I thought Lily had told you. And that box isn't even that big, Johnny.”

“I did,” Lily responds, smiling. “I told him the moment we got off the phone. I’m so excited for you!”

“I swear I never heard it,” Johnny giggles, bringing the cup to his lips and putting it back again when he realizes the temperature of the beverage. “But you can tell me now! And don’t you dare skip any details!”

You’re sure you can feel your cheeks heating up, a smile threatening to break on your lips as you attempt to hide it behind your cup.

“It’s Sicheng,” you begin. “We — well, I sort of asked him out yesterday, when we were getting out of class. I… I didn’t know how, but I asked if he wanted to go for dinner today, and that’s why I’m skipping on your amazing Beatles Monopoly.”

“Oh god, I never knew you were crushing on Sicheng!” Johnny exclaims, accidentally spilling a few drops of coffee on Taeyong’s mustard yellow rug, but not paying it any mind as he grins at you. “I see it, though. He’s cute, and totally your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” you say, huffing. Lily giggles, raising her eyebrows at you, and Johnny simply points in your direction. “I don’t! I’ll tell Taeyong you both bullied me and we’ll see if he gives you his Chow Mein recipe.”

“He made Chow Mein?” Johnny asks, completely distracted from the previous topic as he begins to think about dinner. “God, his cooking is so good! You know, when we lived together, he used to collect all these scrapings from food magazines and sometimes when he couldn’t sleep he would randomly pick one from a hat and — ”

“As much as I’d like to hear that anecdote, we have more important matters to attend to right now, baby,” Lily says, smiling, cutting Johnny off before he can continue explaining Taeyong’s random recipe story. She looks over at you, her smile growing when your eyes meet hers. She gets up from her seat, smoothing out her dress as she makes her way over to you. “Let’s get you ready, or you, my friend, are gonna be late… and you have a guy to sweep off his feet.”

You’re still nervous.

All ready and repeating Lily’s pep talk, you still can’t help the way your hands shake by your sides as you walk down the hall. You’re not entirely sure what it is; the fact that you don’t know Sicheng as a lover or the fact that you know him too well as a friend, but still, the nerves behind the possibility of the night going wrong are, in a way, blocking you completely from thinking it could go right. God, you like him too much to screw this up.

Lily and Johnny, and eventually Taeyong (when he had finally gotten home), had tried to make you see just how good it could be. Yes, nerves were normal, and especially in a situation like this, but they had seen Sicheng around you, and they were sure he was just as infatuated by you as you were by him. Easier said than believed, though. Still, it was nice to know they were there to cheer you on, no matter just how their words seem to have fled over your head as soon as they had changed the topic (Taeyong had, apparently, told Johnny about Doyoung, the economics student he’s been sitting next to in the library and doesn’t, really doesn’t, have a crush on).

Just a typical Tuesday night — except for your date with Sicheng, of course. Oh, you just had to remember the date.

“Jesus, calm down,” you mumble to yourself, trying to smooth out the front of your sweater as you reach the elevator. You press the button as you try to remember Lily’s words to give yourself a pep talk. “It’s Sicheng, come on. You’ve seen him with green paint all over his face, it’s gonna be alright.”

And, I mean, what could actually go wrong?

“Hold the door!” Someone calls from outside in the hall, and you quickly set your foot in-between the elevator doors to stop them from closing, keeping your eyes on the faux marble lined floor. You hear a set of quick footsteps and loud breathing as the person who had called finally gets inside the elevator, and you can quickly tell that they’re panting. “Thanks, God, I really couldn’t have just waited for another one right now.”

The guy next to you rants about how long it takes the elevator to come up and down again, even telling you about how his roommate had used up all the hot water even when he knew he had to get ready for his date. The voice sounds familiar, but you don’t really give it much thought. Or at least, you try to, but it only serves to remind you of the very thing that has you twirling the ends of your sweater around your finger about. He sounds so much like —

“Sicheng?” You ask when you finally look up.

Next to you, Sicheng stands up straight, having placed his hands on his knees in an effort to regain his breath, and he freezes up on the spot. You’re not really sure what it is about him that makes your breath get caught in your throat. Is it the sight of him in a black turtleneck? Is it the confused look on his face? Is it the fact that he’s here, in the same elevator as you, of all places he could ever be at? What is he even doing here?

“Oh, hey,” he breathes out. From the look on his face, you can tell he also doesn’t quite understand what’s going on. He rests his back against the wall behind him in an effort to look a bit less nervous. Mission? Failed. “I… what are you doing here?”

“I live here,” you say. There’s a quick silence shared between you two as you listen to the jazz-y elevator music neither of you had ever liked. “Are you visiting someone?”

“No, I live here too,” Sicheng answers. “You… I have never seen you ar—”

He stops mid-word, a look of understanding dawning upon his face as you let out a loud gasp. You turn to look at each other completely, raising your hands so you’re pointing towards each other’s frames as realization strikes the both of you like lightning.

“Wait!”

“God, okay, so you’re really telling me that all this time it’s been you who I’ve been shading on the bulletin board?” You laugh, throwing your head back as you do. “I stole your Pocchaco mug?”

The night is chilly, and the sky is clear, and you can practically feel the stars glowing all around you (okay, maybe it’s the city lights, but the hopeless romantic in you doesn’t really care). The crisp smell of chilly wind brought by the beginning of the fall brings a smile to Sicheng’s lips, which is only widened by the warmth that envelops his hand when it grazes against yours.

“Yeah, and I think I stole your T-tool,” he answers, laughing with you. “It’s been sitting in my kitchen counter for like, what, three weeks?”

“Yeah, Taeyong hasn’t really let me forget about it,” you say. “I’ve stopped asking him for his because every time I do, he starts telling me how I should go out to the hall and finally confront you face to face.”

He nods, grazing his hand against yours once more. You’re sure he’s doing it on purpose, swinging it a bit too far away from his body for it to be coincidental, but you’re not about to stop him.

“Kunhang always says the same thing when you don’t let me sleep with how loud you play your music,” he rolls his eyes, still smiling. A giggle hangs on the edge of his words, and you’ve known him long enough to know he’s only teasing. “Do you think they know? I mean, Kunhang knows I like you, but I’m not sure if he also knows I low-key hate you.”

“Oh, I’m sure they do,” you laugh. “Lily and Johnny probably know, too! Actually, now that I think about it, I ran into Kun once in the hall and I never saw him again… I really should have guessed. He helped me with my groceries and all.”

“God, I see Johnny and Lily around all the time and I know they don’t live there, but I never would have thought they were visiting you,” he adds, laughing and shaking his head. “We’re both idiots! Like, actually. I even know what your handwriting looks like!”

You break out in a fit of laughter, stopping dead in your tracks, and Sicheng joins you shortly after, almost even falling over you as he closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy the moment. You laugh right next to each other, loud and completely free, and there’s nothing more comforting than knowing he’s the person behind it. It’s a weird feeling for the two of you, but then again, not really. Sicheng and you have always felt like home to each other.

And then, even when the laughter dies down, there’s still an aura of pure, unfiltered happiness hanging all around you that brings a blush to the boy’s cheeks. He’s never felt happier, or more in love, and he knows it’s all due to you. He knows it’s always been.

You’re both a little out of breath when you stop laughing, turning and finding each other’s eyes under the bright city lights.

“I meant what I said, you know,” he says when he’s finally facing you. His voice is soft, as if he’s telling you a secret, but it’s loud enough for you to hear, as if he doesn’t mind the entire world knowing it. “I like you a lot.”

You don’t really notice the moment you both move towards each other, standing so close you can feel each other’s warmth against your chest. There’s the look on his eyes as they meet yours, and you don’t know if you will ever be able to think about anything else. Anything that isn’t him, and him and you, and the way he makes you feel.

“I like you a lot too, Win,” you answer, smiling when he slips his hands around your waist. “A bit too much, I think, considering I almost fell on my ass the other day because of your cans and I still really want to kiss you right now.”

Time seems to freeze for the two of you. For a moment, the world stops spinning and the entire moment is turned into a still-frame. You’re sure, that even if it’s just for a second, there’s nothing beyond the space that your bodies occupy, because the only thing that’s real is the feeling of your hand on his.

“So, what do you say, 10A?” Sicheng asks. “Truce?”

His breath falls hot over your lips, and you close your eyes the moment you feel his forehead touching yours. He smells strongly like mint and faintly like paint, and it’s everything you would have ever imagined. It’s everything you would have ever wanted. It’s everything.

You smile when you feel the ghost of a kiss against your lips.

“Truce,” you say.

It’s 1997, and you and Sicheng have been friends. It’s 1997, and you and Sicheng have been (sort of) enemies. It’s 1997, and you now stand somewhere in the middle, and it’s love, the most magical kind of it.

It’s 1997, and it’s him, and it’s you, and it’s you and him together, and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

[1kook]

imax & climax

summary; The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings; fingering, blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl kinda idk lol, daddy kink that morphs into i love u kink tags;  jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count; 9.8k

notes; there is no rest for the wicked, aka miss 1kook writes another part for this fic i swore wasn't gonna be a series except this time we ditch the gentlemen persona and go into maximum overdrive. its not proofread bc i wrote this entire thing at 4 am last night after inhaled a whole bucket of spicy popcorn

[ part 1 ; netflix & chill ] [ part 2 ; hulu & wohoo ]

Jungkook sees it on display during your weekly Target trip. You know he won’t say anything because despite how long you’ve dated he still likes to pretend he’s the epitome of adult maturity. Yet the way his eyes linger over the electronics section, cart rolling to a stop in front of the massive screen, tells you all you need to know.

“Baby, the toilet paper is this way,” you sing, giving the front of the cart a gentle tug that pulls it and his thoughts away from the television that seems to hold reign over his interest.

“Ah,” he mumbles as he shakes himself out of whatever trance he was in. “Right.”

The Target trip ends rather uneventfully; you grab all the items you came for and make the executive decision of swapping Jungkook’s tangerine bathroom soap with strawberry instead. Normally he’d put up a good fight, argue about the comfort that came with consistency, but today he says nothing. You chalk it up to that flatscreen that hypnotized him earlier.

“You wanted it,” you announce rather pointedly in the car. He’s backing out of the parking space now, one hand on the wheel the other pressed to the side of your seat. His jaw twitches as he tries to maneuver around a stray shopping cart someone didn’t return to the retrieval area. He’s wearing that dark jumper you like, with the high collar that covers all of last night’s bruises up wonderfully.

Jungkook scoffs as he finally gets the two of you back onto the main road, Target and the flat screen left behind. “I didn’t,” he defends. “Just thought it was neat.”

You snort. “Neat. Okay, grandpa, did it tickle your pickle?” you tease, obnoxiously leaning over the center console to get all in his face. Jungkook greets your proximity with a palm against your forehead.

“Please don’t ever say that again,” he laughs, pulling to a stop at the next red light. He turns to level you with an easygoing grin, sparkly anime girl eyes extra shiny under the red glow. “Only want you to tickle my pickle.”

You gag. “That’s actually disgusting.”

——

You graduate on a Saturday and your dorm stay expires on the Tuesday that follows. You spend the entire day shoving all your belongings into a variety of trash bags, from your weighted blanket to the collection candles you and Doyeon swore to light every night and never did. Speaking of Doyeon, she cries through the entire process. From the moment you take down the first wall decoration she’s in tears, and not even her mom, who’s come to help out, can quell her emotions. The girl cries and cries. She cries throughout the clean up, like she hadn’t spent the week before cursing the funky aircon system to hell and back. It’s probably the nostalgia that comes with leaving college, you assume. When Jungkook picks you up around noon, even your eyes are glassy.

Jungkook’s mom, who you only just met a few months ago, is over at his place when you arrive. You get along fairly well, in fact, you would even go as far as to claim you got along really well. You had first met her over this past spring break when Jungkook invited you along to his family trip to some tropical island. The Jeons were lovely people. In fact, had Jungkook not explicitly introduced them as his parents, you would’ve thought they were some sitcom actors carrying out the role of most in love, sophisticated lovers to ever exist. Yeah, they were super into each other, and you suppose it’s why Jungkook is the way he is, loves as hard as he does. The only thing that broke their attention away from each other was the sight of their precious Jungkookie bringing you to a family event.

It was hard to keep them entertained. Every second was spent worrying about your appearance, your demeanor, whether or not you looked like a devil beside their (your) angelic boy. It certainly didn’t help that Jungkook was wearing that obnoxiously floral shirt at the restaurant you went to, the first three buttons undone almost lazily. It was a look your boyfriend rarely showed, always so meticulously dressed. Of course, he had that cute boyish style of his that consisted almost exclusively of baggy pants and designer tee’s a little too plain to cost as much as they did. But even those outfits had a specific Jungkook rhythm to them— the darker tones always went with the pants that had twelve buckles on them; the long sleeves always went with the jeans. He was awfully particular about those kinds of self-set rules, and this jarring floral print did not fit any of them. It was too provocative, the black skinny jeans he’d paired with it too devious.

Maybe he knew what he was doing to you dressed so hot like this, but knowing Jungkook, you doubt he did. His parents hadn’t batted a single lash his way, eyes laser focused on your every word as you stumbled through three plates and dessert. It was a battle you fought alone, and one you barely survived.

So despite you impressing his parents, she still gives you an odd look when you enter Jungkook’s swanky townhouse with all your garbage bags of items. You promise her it’s just for the weekend, until your parents clean out your old room that they’ve filled to the brim with holiday decorations and miscellaneous objects. You’re not trying to take her baby chick out of the nest. (Yet.)

You watch TV for a couple hours, mostly her favorite soap operas on his 67 in. screen. It takes up a huge spot on the wall where it’s mounted, glossy black screen glaring back at you. Even his mom scolds him for such a huge screen, and you wonder how she’d feel about the absolute giant he ogled at the Target last week. Super angry, you think, and the image of her raging in flames while Jungkook apologizes like the momma’s boy he is makes you giggle.

She leaves a little after sunset, kissing and hugging the both of you on the doorstep like she’s going off to war and will never return. She’ll be back by the weekend, desperate to check on her baby boy, but you let her have her moment. It’s weird seeing how dramatic the Jeons are compared to how reserved Jungkook is.

You pounce on him the second she’s gone. He goes down with a muffled yelp against the sofa, hands grasping at your waist until you straddle him and begin going to town. Your fun lasts all of two minutes before the old lady novella Jungkook’s mom had been watching cuts to commercials and a loud advertisement for irritable bowel syndrome medication begins playing.

“Oh, that is so not sexy,” you whine childishly, trying to roll your hips over him again. Jungkook laughs, all low and sweet as he sits back up again.

“Give it a rest,” he says, shifting you until he’s got you hugged between those stupidly strong arms of his. His pecs feel strong and comforting beneath your cheek, and the feeling makes your tiny pouting session end earlier than usual. “Come on,” he mumbles as he manhandles you around, until your back is pressed against his chest and you’re sitting between his legs. “Let’s watch this film on Mesopotamian folklore and its overall significance to the nations it birthed after its downfall.”

——

You rarely use the key Jungkook gifted you a few months back. The majority of your visits to Jungkook’s house were either  the result of Jungkook picking you up from somewhere and bringing you back, or Jungkook inviting you over after dinner. In short, he was always with you when you arrived at his stoop.

Today you’re alone, juggling two boxes of takeout and some cheap wine in one hand as you fight to unlock his door. He hadn’t answered his phone, which leads you to believe he’s holed himself up again in that damn study. He likes to do that sometimes, lock himself away like some modern day Rapunzel until he finishes whatever project he has this time around. When he gets like this, it’s like all other body functions are forgotten, his brain zeroed in on the lines of code you barely understand.

Just as you suspect, the house is too dark when you finally break in. The hall light is off, which isn’t out of the norm, but so are the kitchen and living room lights. You pad down the hall, flicking on the light to the living room to set down your offerings onto the edge of the coffee table. There’s a scrambled pile of notes on top that seem too disorderly to disregard. You whirl around, making to head back out into the hall and down to the study, when you see it.

A good 90 inches mounted on his wall. It’s a monstrosity of a screen, devouring nearly the entire surface of the wall, from stainless end to stainless end. It’s ridiculously thin in the way all modern TVs are, but this one is even more so given the fact you hadn’t registered it in your peripheral when you walked in. It’s just barely short of a Jumbotron, the kind they have at baseball games to make sure you can see every nose hair on the pitcher.

His mom was going to kill him.

“Jungkook?” you call out slowly, inching back out into the hall with your gaze glued to the screen. Like maybe you’ve imagined this all and that isn’t the stupidly gigantic television screen Jungkook had gawked at just a few weeks ago.

There’s a soft hum down the hall, the sound slipping beneath the bottom gap in the door frame. You make a beeline for the room, oddly unsettled with the huge screen. The door gives way, exposing your boyfriend’s hunched back and the blue light from his monitors that highlights his frame. “Hi, sweetie,” you begin, inching over to him.

“Hi,” he sighs, leaning back into your touch when you step behind him. His dark eyes are weary from staring at his tablet for too long, his usual tender expression melted into one of mild irritation. “Can’t figure this out,” he says, tapping his stylus against one line of absolute nerd gibberish you don’t bother trying to decipher. Maybe another day you would have entertained him, but today you cherish this moment with him knowing it might be his last before his mom comes over and kills him.

“Sounds like break time to me!” Your proclamation makes him frown, a frustrated groan pulling itself from his lips. His head droops forward again, chin touching his chest. But there’s a hint of relief in his groan that tells you all you need to know. “Baby needs a break,” you smile, pressing a peck against the back of his head.

“You’re baby,” he tries to fight, but his limbs are so pliant under your touch that it practically means nothing. “I’m the head honcho around here.”

“Uh huh,” you appease him, finally managing to tug all that muscled body out of his seat. “And apparently that means making dumb purchases.”

“What dumb purchases? Are you talking about the cactus again?” he asks, letting you guide him back down the hall.

“Yes, Kook, the cactus you haven’t watered in three months,” you drawl sarcastically, the sad plant sitting in the kitchen a reminder of both your incompetence. “Namjoon would hate you for that.”

Not amused by the insinuation of his favorite senpai being disappointed in him, Jungkook goes to fight you on that. By then you’ve stopped at the entrance of the living room, glaring at the straight up theater screen that sits on the wall. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mimic, flopping down on the ground beside the coffee table. Jungkook doesn’t follow, choosing to sprawl himself over the couch instead. “What’s with the Jumbotron?”

He stretches his arms out, moaning something sinful at the way his bones pop. “It adds to the experience,” he says. “Movies are more enjoyable when the pictures are bigger; a tall aspect ratio and stadium seating really add to the experience.” He was such a nerd.

You snort. “The experience— Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know I was speaking to Mr. IMAX here.”

His cheeks flush a soft pink at your jab. “Don’t be mean,” he mumbles, tugging on your arm as he sits back up. You find your way onto his lap, neatly seated over one thigh like he’s the Santa Claus at the mall; not a single gray hair in sight but you’d still let him call you his hoe, hoe, hoe. Realizing there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Christmas ham, you shake those images away.

“Good thing I brought a movie,” you beam, gesturing to the pretty pink case resting over top the takeout bag.

Jungkook doesn’t even spare it a single glance as he burrows into your neck. “What? No, we’re finishing the docuseries on—“

You groan loudly to muffle the rest of his sentence. “Kook, I don’t wanna watch another episode on Stonehenge being done by aliens,” you whine, picking up the movie case to brandish in his face.

It’s admittedly the wrong move when Jungkook’s eyes roll themselves into another dimension. “Absolutely not,” he says. The case is quickly discarded off to the side as he attempts to distract you with a kiss against your cheek.

Too bad you’re evil and determined. “No! We are watching the Princess and the Pauper and that’s final,” you exclaim, scrambling for the movie before he can hurl it out the window. He catches you by the waist, your fingers just an inch away from the pink case. “Babe!” you cry, but his fingerprints are bruising their way into your skin.

“No more Barbie movies,” he begs, yanking you back onto his lap. He does so with so much force that it makes the two of you tumble to the side, your head bouncing on the cushions as he catches himself over you. “Please.”

“I hate you,” you fuss, pointedly ignoring the tiny mole beneath his lip that drove you crazy. “We’ve seen every single thing on the History Channel this week, but we can’t watch one Barbie movie?”

Jungkook sighs, dropping his head down against your shoulder. He smells good and feels even better over you, but you’re not going to stop until the Princess and the Pauper is breaking in the new Jumbotron. “It’s weird,” he huffs, voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “Especially when we start getting… experimental, and I have to listen to Barbie sing in the background.”

“First of all, her name is Annaleise in this movie,” you correct, squirming beneath him to no avail. “Secondly, how do you think I feel when you’re eating me out while some old British dude narrates the creation of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?”

Jungkook scoffs, finally letting himself snuggle completely into you. “You don’t even realize it because you’re screaming the whole way through.” That earns him a sharp tug at his ear that has him sputtering apology after apology.

“It’s boring!” you feel the need to emphasize.

Jungkook sits up with an uppity look on his face. “It’s not my fault you don’t appreciate the cinematography that comes from educational pieces,” he points out, rather presumptuously.

You shove him off of you. “I don’t care about cinnamon topography, just play the damn Barbie movie,” you hiss, swiping the movie case from the other end of the couch and pressing it to his chest. If words could hurt, yours definitely do. Jungkook crumbles against the couch, childishly stomping one sock-clad foot against the ground as you gesture toward the movie player.

He doesn’t move, and you’re about to begin another tirade against his snobby movie critiquing habits when he procures a sleek, tiny remote that you would honestly mistake for an iPhone from a distance. It has, no joke, about seven buttons max, four of which are just the up and down, left and right arrows. You let out a low whistle at that. Wow. Technology sure was advancing.

The TV turns on to some minimalistic home page, tiny widgets showing every app it has; the bottom row is dedicated almost entirely to Jungkook’s massive streaming service provider collection. After a moment of brewing in his feels, Jungkook quietly announces, “it’s on Amazon Prime.” This is news to you, being able to watch a Barbie film on a streaming service and not the old disk you scratched when you were ten. Something distinctly carnal flashes in your chest when Jungkook clicks through all the payment options without a care in the world. Oh, that was definitely going into your horny 3 am dreams.

Despite his earlier protests, you know Jungkook will soon fall into his usual movie watching habits. He settles into the couch beside you. You cuddle up next to him, enveloping him with the grip of a killer octopus choking out its prey, except Jungkook is usually the one doing the choking in this relationship. Still, it’s not close enough, and you throw your legs over his thigh. You’re practically sitting on him at this point.

You have no doubt the speakers on this thing are average; it was too thin to really pack any punch. However, that was the TV sans the Bluetooth speakers Jungkook has installed all around his house.

(You swear when the android uprising finally begins, your boyfriend will be the first one out.)

The speakers really amplify the sound. The opening sequence has your bones rattling inside your body, the loud music of the selection screen reverberating through the entire living room. It reminds you of that pounding COMING SOON clip that used to play at the beginning of DVD’s back in the day. Jungkook scrambles to lower the volume. “Sweetheart, you’re cutting off my circulation,” he wheezes afterwards.

“What? This is how we always watch movies,” you say with a frown.

“Yes, and I always end up with less oxygen than before.”

He doesn’t let you argue, which is good, because you could make a thirty five slide PowerPoint presentation on the advantages of watching movies like this. One, your boyfriend was warm. Two, your boyfriend smelt good. Three, your boyfriend’s ripped body awoke some ancient being inside of you that would not rest until his cock was halfway down your thro—

He hauls you into his lap. The angle forces you to let him go, instead met with the jarring nothingness of having his hot body ripped away. Meanwhile he gets to wrap you up in his arms, hold you like a teddy bear to his chest. “I hate this,” you huff, but the movie is already starting, the beautiful blonde Anneliese appearing on screen. You lean back against his chest, pout still evident. “This is ridiculous,” you snort, her face blown up on this jumbo screen.

“Shut up,” he says, settling in behind you. “Movie’s starting.”

Most Barbie movies you watch end up in one of two ways: either Jungkook falls asleep twenty minutes in or he stays up until the end to critique every aspect of it. With the way he’d gone soft from your early battle, you’re guessing he was going to knock out before the Princess can even meet the Pauper.

As much as you hate to admit it, the huge screen does incite quite a thrill in you. There’s something so nostalgic about watching one of your favorite childhood movies on a screen this huge. The size showcases the sheer perfection that is every single Barbie movie. You lose yourself in the movie, singing along to the opening song and growing agitated when the antagonist appears.

Jungkook says nothing, and you’re half convinced he’s taken his first preferred route and snoozed off, when his fingers twitch around your waist.

There it was.

The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack.

“Absolutely not,” you say, slapping a hand down over his before he can slip beneath the fabric of your shorts.

He lets out an indignant noise, a puff of air running along the side of your face. You ease his hands back over your stomach, taking extra care to knot your fingers with his. “We’re supposed to be breaking in your new screen,” you remind him, glancing up to catch his unimpressed expression.

He complains quietly, but he settles.

For all of twenty seconds.

“Oh my god,” you sigh, trying to act like the subtle rutting of his cock on your behind was a nuisance and not the luxury it is. “Babe, the jumbo screen… look at it.”

“Not even jumbo,” he murmurs against your ear, hot breath sending a shiver down your spine that has your toes curling. You fight to keep his hands still, but the muscles in his forearm tense, inked skin contracting as he slips them between your thighs. You suck in a sharp inhale, trying to maintain your immovable front. Jungkook sees the fortress you’ve built around yourself in the name of watching The Princess and the Pauper, and spares you no mercy with his attack. His hands massage the skin of your thighs, tiny shorts doing absolutely nothing to save you from him. “Jumbo didn’t fit.”

The back of your mind registers the fact he was apparently trying to get a TV even bigger than this. You tuck it away for later to snitch to his mom. For now, you’d very much appreciate it if he could make you cum before the two girls perform the iconic “I Am a Girl Like You” song.

His hands are so smooth, soft skin tracing over your body like you were nothing but a slab of clay ready to be molded under his touch. He abandons your thighs to creep them under your shirt, where he wastes no time tugging the cups of your bra down to fondle your breasts.

Belatedly, your stupid tongue remembers to move. “I know something jumbo that fits,” you babble, rolling your head back against his shoulder. Jungkook laughs at the utter stupidity of your sentence, and the aforementioned jumbo thing fattens against your ass, before brushing his lips against yours. The airy laughter, one of your favorite sounds in the world, is swallowed up by your greedy mouth. “Can fit in two places, actually,” you murmur when he pulls away.  His fingers massage the doughy skin of your boobs causing your back to arch slightly. “Wherever he wants it to.”

“Really,” Jungkook teases, obviously entertained by your silly dirty talk. He’s grown used to your outlandish remarks in the past few months of your relationship.

You like to believe Jungkook has fully accepted your occasional bouts of weirdness. He’s had the last few months to grow familiar with the inner workings of your mind, and even absorbed some of it into his own personality. Which is why he doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by you referring to his cock as jumbo, when there were admittedly more fitting words to describe it as.

(Thick, juicy, angry, demon cock, if he really wanted to know.)

“Where do you think it should go?” he asks, the low hum of his voice snapping you out or your thoughts. There was no need to daydream about a cock that was right in front of you. His hands slow their gentle caress over you, fingers closing in on your nipples.

A sharp hiss pulls itself from your throat, chest arching as he tugs and toys with your hardened nipples. “Wh-Wherever,” you pant, reaching your own hands down back between your thighs. The phantom of his palms linger, making your hands feel sorely inadequate. “Wherever Daddy wants,” you purr, swallowing harshly when he twists a nipple.

Jungkook groans, resting his forehead against your shoulder. “Don’t,” he sighs, hands faltering over your breasts. Eventually they drift away, settling around your waist as you slip your fingers under the front of your bottoms.

“Why?” you laugh, pointer finger brushing along your clit. “Don’t like it when I call you that, Daddy?”

He lifts his head to watch you play with yourself. His hands grow tight around your waist, labored breath filling the air to harmonize with your breathy moans. You’re absolutely soaking your panties, sticky arousal making the fabric stick to your folds. “You know I do,” he murmurs, watching the outline of your knuckles through the fabric of your shorts. “Thought you wanted to play nice today.” He takes in a sharp inhale when you ease your finger into yourself, a breathy moan escaping from your lips.

You were already so wet, and you’re really not surprised this is how the two of you would break in his new IMAX, high definition flatscreen. Your pussy tightens around your finger, thigh muscles jumping at the intrusion. Fuck, you needed him so bad.

You smirk, drawing your hands out from their hiding spot. The television is the only thing lighting the room, the two of you shrouded in relative darkness. At first, your hand is shadowed by the glow of the screen, nothing more than an outline. But when you turn it just right, the light catches, highlighting the glistening skin of your fingers. It makes Jungkook shudder.

Ever so slowly, you bring your fingers up to his face. The tip of your middle finger runs teasingly against his plump lower lip, his shaky exhales sending a cool breath over your knuckles. “Open, Daddy,” you encourage, watching with rapt attention as he envelopes your fingers between his lips. He sucks, tongue dancing between each digit to slurp off your juices. “Do I taste good? Do you like it?”

You know he loves it, but it never hurts to ask.

Between the two of you, you each had your own share of distinctive interests when it came to sex. Kinks, if you will. You adored the softer, vanilla aspects of sex— the languid makeouts, the slow rutting against his thigh, the whispered praise, the cute pet names. Meanwhile, despite his initially reserved exterior, Jungkook preferred the other end of the spectrum. (You should’ve known from the get go!) He loved it fast and hard, so hard it would make you cry. He liked watching you squirm and beg for his cock while he pushed you to new heights. He liked the sticky, sweaty sex that left you feeling like a used rag beneath him, something you would have never expected given his neat and kind nature.

However, as with all things Jungkook, you always came first. Jungkook’s dream sex style was often pushed to the side in favor of pleasuring you. So quick and rough sex was more of a rare, once in a blue moon, type of luxury. Up until recently, sex had been mostly what you wanted. Either way you did things, Jungkook was fine as long as he got to hold you close.

It was only a few weeks ago that you discovered your shared daddy kink, him obsessed with the idea of shoving you around, something he would otherwise never do. You, on the other hand, found a pleasant satisfaction from being good for him, a stark contrast from your usual sharp tongue and nonexistent filter.

You pull your fingers from his mouth, the sleek drip of your arousal replaced with his saliva. Jungkook grunts as he hauls you further onto his lap, swollen cock nudging itself between your cheeks. “You know I love it, baby,” he growls against your ear. His hot breath fans over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “Have you had your fun now?” he asks, tracing the pads of his fingers around your nipple teasingly.

“Mhm,” you moan. Jungkook’s hands decide they’re done toying with your tits, drifting back down to their original target between your shorts. “Want Daddy to fuck me now.”

He places a kiss against the side of your neck, right over the vein that runs beneath the skin. Jungkook kisses and nips down your skin, until his hair is tickling your collarbones as he sucks a hickey against the juncture between your neck and shoulder. “Is that the right way to ask for something?” he purrs, rubbing your cunt over your shorts.

It’s nowhere near as fulfilling as it would be without the garments. Nonetheless, it makes you ache for him, thighs quivering at the simple touch like you’re a bumbling virgin being touched for the first time. You’re nowhere near that, but every time with Jungkook was exhilarating enough to the point it felt like it was.

“Pretty please,” you pant, covering his hand with yours.

Jungkook rewards you with a fluttery kiss against your shoulder. “Good girl,” he hums. He finally gives you what you want, bypassing the fabric of your shorts and panties to dip his fingers between your folds. You gasp, hips jumping at the sudden brush of his hands along your quivering folds.

“Inside please,” you whimper, knees moving back and forth, only stopping when he helps you out of your bottoms. He places his free hand on one of them, stilling your writhing to fully focus on pleasing the burning fire inside of you. “Jungkook—“

A slap against your cunt that makes you squeal. “Ah ah,” he warns, voice a low tenor against your skin. If you focus hard enough, you can feel the faint brush of a smirk against your neck. “We’re playing a different game right now, pretty girl.”

On screen, your favorite childhood movie is bearing witness to the sinful acts at your boyfriend’s hands. It shouldn’t be surprising how easily you fall into his arms, onto his lap, especially with your history of movie watching with Jungkook.

From your very first date you were enamored with him; the dip of his Cupid’s bow, so innocent and cute, embodied every single aspect of his personality. He was the sweetest, softest boy, one your brain could never conjure in a thousand years. Jungkook’s level of care was hard to come by nowadays; he was a gentleman through and through.

These days he was growing out of that mature persona, and you like to think it’s thanks to you. Your wildness rubbed off on him, made him confident enough to geek out in public, or be adventurous in private. It helped nourish his impulsivity, which led to things like the Super Bowl Jumbotron watching you fuck now.

Despite knowing all this, knowing the way he is, the slow grind against your ass sends a thrill of arousal up your limbs, sensations converging just beneath your mound. “Yes, Daddy,” you mewl accordingly.

Pleased with your obedience, he rewards you by circling your throbbing clit with his thumb. It’s a terribly slow motion, pad of his finger easing over your engorged bud every other second. You wanted more, needed more. You squirm beneath him, attempting to push your clit against his palm. Your efforts are in vain when he clamps a hand down on your waist. “Sit still,” he growls.

You whimper. “Need more,” you rasp out. Your whole body is acting out now, shifting and turning as you try to wiggle closer. Your mouth brushes against his jawline. The sharp angle is the first thing your muddled thoughts focus on, lips hungrily latching onto his porcelain skin to suck a purple blossom onto it.

Any other day Jungkook would bask in the attention, let you bruise his skin up until he was violet from love.

Today... well.

You were playing a different game.

The hand that had been exploring your nether regions suddenly snaps up, catching your chin between his fingers. The wetness that has coated his digits smears messily across your skin, and you whimper when he squishes your cheeks beneath his fingers.

“No ‘please’?” he huffs, turning your head to meet his eyes.

Dark chocolate eyes you’ve come to associate with love and adoration stare back at you unimpressed. His pronounced brow bone twitches, like he’s holding the true intensity of his glare back for your own sake. He slots his mouth against yours with no warning, tongue pushing its way past your lips. It’s messy, his tongue licking into your mouth like you’re nothing but a lollipop for him to suck on. It pulls a surprised moan from your lips that he swallows quickly enough, biting down on your lower lip harshly. When he pulls away, he’s got that same bored look on his face. You feel small under such a cold look, shoulders scrunching up damn near your ears in a subtle attempt to hide from him.

The action makes Jungkook scoff as he leans away from you. He leaves you on his lap alone, like a tiny island desperate to join the main land. You shuffle around in a hurry, looping your arms around his neck in a last ditch effort to calm him down. It does nothing for Jungkook, who only prods his tongue along his cheek as he regards you with a calculating gaze.

After a moment, he finally says, “on your knees.”

Your heart falls out of your chest. “Huh?” you whisper hoarsely, wide eyes taking in his unimpressed expression. “Knees? But Daddy,” you whine, lower lip quivering as you glance down at the hardwood floor.

Anywhere else you wouldn’t have minded. In fact, anywhere else you would’ve been on the floor before the sentence even left his mouth. You loved sucking his dick almost as much as he loved eating you out. However your knees were embarrassingly frail against hard flooring, which is why most blowjobs had been administered in the comfort of his bed or the couch. Sometimes on carpeted surfaces, but Jungkook never pushed when he knew you would be aching the whole time.

Which is why his current demand has you standing stiff. “O-On the floor?” you murmur.

The stark truth was that Jungkook had you terribly spoiled. His constant pampering had convinced you you were invincible. His love was practically handed to you on a silver plate, cloth napkin folded like a crane beside it. He had never made you do something you didn’t like, and he had never put you in an uncomfortable position, mentally or physically.

Until now.

Jungkook gestures for the ground with a curt nod. “Is there a problem?” he inquires.

You look back again, eye the dark wood planks beneath you, glossed over enough to make them shine even in this weak light. “No,” you belatedly respond, slowly pushing yourself off his lap and onto your feet. Your big shirt falls back down, covers the tops of your thighs as you stand nude from the waist down. You’re tempted to just yank it down even more, hide beneath the cloth so he doesn’t have to see you whine and bitch about your knees aching.

Jungkook was so cool. He was so suave and composed. He was the opposite of you, which is why the two of you meshed so well together. You’ve thought about it about ten times tonight, but it was true. Despite all that, there were times his mature exterior made you feel small— small and silly. Like now, with him sitting against the sofa, dark eyes tracing up your legs in amusement.

You sink to the ground, very pointedly avoiding his gaze. The wooden slats are cold and hard beneath your knees, your kneecap immediately screaming in discomfort. Jungkook leans forward with his elbows on his knees, messy curls covering half of his face. “You know,” he hums, reaching out to trail his knuckles across your cheekbone. “I kinda like having you like this,” he admits, “below me like the good little girl you are.”

Your breath stutters as it leaves your lungs, fidgeting hands tugging at the front hem of your shirt in a feeble attempt to cover yourself up. Jungkook smirks at the movement, eventually retracting his hand to give you one, condescending pat on the head.

A hearty sigh escapes his lips as he settles back onto the couch cushions. “Keep me entertained, will you?” You gawk, but you know it’s not a question. He reaches over for the remote to turn the volume up on the Barbie movie.

Your favorite song on the entire soundtrack is playing, almost mocking you as you shuffle closer to him. Two hands tentatively placed on his thighs as the two animated maidens flounce around the screen. He doesn’t bat a single lash your way, eyes focused on the huge screen behind you instead.

His sweatpants give away easily, elastic band snapping away from hips. You have to fight that and his boxers down, Jungkook sitting like an immovable boulder in front of you. You barely manage to free his cock— the same jumbo cock you had referred to earlier —and it almost slaps you across the face from the force of its recoil. Your breath catches in your throat, a short-lived squeal as you flinch at the movement.

The sound causes him to look your way, over the bridge of his nose. “Do you mind?” he says scornfully. “I’m trying to watch a movie.”

“S-Sorry,” you stammer, quickly grasping his cock between your fist.

But apparently you’re doing everything wrong tonight. Jungkook hisses. “Shit— would it kill you to lick it first? Like you’re trying to start a damn fire on my cock,” he mumbles, head lolling back to watch the screen again.

You move in slower this time, careful to lick your palm before trying to grab him. When you do, it’s even more delayed, fingers hesitantly tightening around his swollen member. You’re trying to gauge his reaction, worried eyes flickering up to him every few seconds. Jungkook doesn’t object, craning his neck to the side to crack a joint there. With his clearance you carry on.

The strokes are slow at first, hand barely reaching over his tip like he likes. You’re weirdly anxious you’ll mess up for him, make him look at you with contempt. You suppose it’s because of the game you’re playing that you’re on edge. Usually, Jungkook adheres to your rules, soft as they may be, and he never pushes where you don’t want. Tonight, it’s like you’re a show dog desperate to impress her owner. In short, you were his bitch.

You loved it.

As much as you wanted to be good for him, the mere thought of your normally sweet-hearted boyfriend glaring down at you does something to you, makes your pussy clench.

It’ll haunt you for weeks. The image of such unimpressed eyes leveled your way because you couldn’t handle his dick will stain the insides of your eyelids. Even though he’ll brush it off, kiss you and tell you it’s fine, the inner conceited hoe in you will never let it go, will recall the memory every time your hand is under your panties.

Still, you’re terribly desperate to impress him. He was your other half, your lover, your sweetheart, your goddamn king; he deserved only the best— not some half-assed, scaredy-cat blowjob that would leave him reeling back afterwards.

With that belief and a sticky blob of spit later, you’re pushing him into your throat. It’s the first reaction you get since he’d started feeling you up, a deep, raspy groan straight from the pits of hell, that has you working even harder to swallow his cock down. “That’s it,” he pants, carding his fingers through your hair. “Good girl.”

You positively mewl under the praise, tongue growing heavy in your mouth as you swallow more and more of him down. The hard tip of his cock pulses inside, rubbing against your palate and then your throat. A gag catches in your throat, one you quickly subdue by shifting your hips.

Fuck, he was so big. Just the feeling of his cock brashly rubbing against the corners of your lips has you fantasizing about how he’ll undoubtedly stretch your pussy apart later. You moan, letting your eyes flutter shut as you try to wave those images away.

When his cock hits the back of your throat, you’re ten chapters deep into an erotic novel all about sucking Jungkook‘s dick. If your eyes weren’t already shut you’re certain they’d be at the back of your head anyway. It twitches against your tongue, one thick bead of precum sliding down your throat.

It seems to be the final straw for Jungkook, who clamps a hand down on the back of your head, forcefully pulling you away only to shove you down again. With his grip in your hair, he really goes to town. You whimper at his brutal movements, his cock nudging the back of your throat with every harsh tug of your hair. The slippery, wet glide of his cock against your mouth fills the room with a lewd squelching that drowns out the movie.

Your pussy quivers with each new intrusion, thighs pressing together as if that will quell the searing ache between them. It doesn’t, and when Jungkook finally bursts in your mouth, creamy cum splattering against your tongue and lips, it only grows.

“Fuck,” he growls, pushing you away as he sinks back into the cushions. His chest heaves beneath the material of his t-shirt, sweat dripping down from his hairline. Normally, you’d take this opportunity to crawl back onto his lap, lick and kiss away at his body while he recovered. But truthfully, you were both still new to this whole experience so there were still the occasional lulls between actions.

Sensing your uncertainty, Jungkook tugs you onto his lap. He presses one soft kiss against your cheek, eyes momentarily losing their hard edge to assure you everything is fine. You give him a tiny nod, as if assuring him you’re okay. He presses his mouth to yours, plush lips soothing over your raw lips. It’s brief, the kiss; he guides you through it but switches back quickly. He pulls away and bites down harshly on the side of your neck. “So perfect for me, pretty girl,” he murmurs, soothing his bite over with a swipe of his tongue.

You dissolve into a mushy puddle on his lap, muscles growing weak from his touch. Jungkook kisses down your neck, over your t-shirt clad chest, before he’s nudging you back down onto the cushions. With him looming over you, your body instinctively has you spreading your legs apart. His t-shirt comes up with one yank over his shoulders, sinewy muscles coming into view.

“Yum,” you whisper, hands reaching up to trail over his v-line. They’re quickly slapped away, a startled gasp pulled from your lips as Jungkook takes your wrists in his hands.

One shapely brow is raised in your direction. “Did I say you could touch?” he murmurs, pinning your hands above your head. A gasp catches in your throat from his close proximity. You subconsciously tilt your head up, try to brush your mouth against his, only to be denied with a subtle turn of his face. “How do you want it, pretty?” he asks, releasing the tight grip around your wrists.

Immediately, you latch around his broad shoulders, fingers tracing over the muscles of his arms until they meet at the base of his neck. “However you want,” you purr, pulling him closer until your bodies are aligned, the warm heat of his frame over yours. You kiss the spot beneath his ear once before he trails his lips down.

Jungkook mouths against your shoulder, lips tracing over the juncture where it meets your neck. “Hm,” he hums, taking a tiny sliver of skin between his teeth. “And if I said I wanted it hard?”

His proposal is followed by a slow roll of his hips against your throbbing core, the same dick you had just choked on gliding along your folds. You whimper, toes curling as the pleasure washes over you. Every ridge, ever vein of his hardened cock runs along your sensitive folds, reminding you of the aching flame inside of you. “Th-That’s fine,” you pant, leg lazily thrown over his hip. His hands trail over your waist, collecting your t-shirt as they move up your body until it’s pushed over the swell of your breasts.

When the material is finally discarded off to the side, leaving you in that flimsy bra Jungkook that snaps off, he strikes again. His tongue laps over your collarbone first, pouty lips ghosting over the skin as he makes his way to your breast. He takes one hardened peak into his mouth, drawing a shaky inhale from you. He rolls it between his teeth, tongue flicking the sensitive nub as you squirm beneath him.

Eventually he pulls away with a wet pop. Jungkook smirks, a soft puff of air fanning over your newly bruised skin. “Aren’t you the prettiest little thing.” He pushes away from you with one strong arm, looking down at you with an unreadable expression on his face. “Watch the movie,” he says.

You blink. “Huh?”

Before you know it, he’s tugging you back up onto your feet. He pushes you around, nearly sends you toppling over the coffee table as he positions you to his liking. “Kook!” you exclaim, palms slapping down against the glass tabletop in an effort to catch yourself. Just barely, your reflection glares back up at you.

A tap against your pussy startles you from the sight. “Wha—“

Two hands grab onto your biceps, tugging you up forcefully until your back arches, leaving you bent at a ninety degree angle before him. “Look, sweetheart,” he coos against your ear, voice deep enough that it vibrates through every bone in your body. Your breath stutters in your throat, exhilaration blossoming in your chest. “It’s your favorite movie.”

It is in fact your favorite movie, the same one you had fought tooth and nail just moments prior to watch. On screen, the two damsels are exploring new things in their lives, just how you were experiencing Jungkook’s true intensity for the first time. “It is,” you quietly confirm, back aching from the position.

Jungkook either doesn’t care about your depleting strength or really trusts in you not to faceplant onto his glass coffee table, palms sliding down to the crease of your elbows to hold you. “Tell me what it’s about,” he says

Just as the words leave his mouth, something hard and wet prods against your folds. “Oh,” you cry, fists tightening into balls as the feeling overwhelms you. “Jungkook, please.”

One elbow is let go, and the abrupt release has you scrambling to catch yourself, your glass reflection coming a little too close. This becomes even more difficult when a hand suddenly strikes down hard against your ass, a startled yelp escaping you. Just as quickly as you were released, Jungkook wastes no time snatching your back up, yanking you back until your cunt runs along his cock again.

“C’mon, pretty, thought you knew better,” he sighs playfully.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, chest heaving with every slow roll of his hips. Your pussy was sopping, desperate to be filled with something. It was even worse knowing his dick was right there, just inches outside of where you need him most. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” you repeat.

Jungkook chuckles, and your heart backflips when he finally begins lining himself up. “It’s okay,” he assures you, in that same gentle tone he uses when you accidentally shove the wrong food down the sink disposal. “Baby’s still learning,” he says, pressing a chaste kiss against your shoulder as he begins pushing himself in. Just the head of his cock proves to be a struggle, swollen tip stretching your entrance wide. There’s an extra sting today from your half-hearted preparation, the both of you relying solely on your own arousal and excitement to let him in. It’s a nice kick.

When he finally pops past that initial tightness, you swear you could transcend into another dimension from the absolute feeling of euphoria that washes over you. “Fuck,” you mewl, fighting against his tight hold. Your efforts are in vain, ultimately choosing to drop your head down as the ecstasy continues to wash over you with each inch he offers you.

A warning squeeze around your wrist. “Language,” Jungkook reprimands, though his voice is strained and light.

You nod mindlessly, toes curling against the wooden floor. “It-It feels so good,” you whine. Your knees wobble dangerously beneath you, until you’re swaying just the slightest bit.

He gives until there’s nothing left, the soft hairs around his dick tickling your lips as he reaches the hilt. “There we go,” he grunts, giving you one final tug to make sure this is as far as he can go. You squeal, the brush against your walls making you ridiculously high. “That’s my girl.”

The praise has your stomach tightening, the pretty images flashing across the screen completely lost on you. You felt so full. The two of you rarely did it like this, without looking at each other straight on, but there was something about Jungkook’s looming figure being distorted by your brain’s memory, his touches wild and unpredictable, that made something inside of you twitch.

“Ohhh,” you whimper, muscles going slack for the briefest moment. The only thing that saves you from falling over is the killer grip on your forearms; when he tugs you up his cock runs along your pulsing walls. “Please, Daddy,” you beg, mouth feeling a thousand times heavier.

“The movie,” he repeats, slowly beginning to pull away from your clenching heat. You moan. “Tell me what it’s about,” he husks, punctuating his seemingly innocent statement with a harsh snap of his hips.

You wail, stumbling forward at the intensity. Still, it’s just a taste of what he has in store for you. He soon picks a pace, not too rushed or slow, as you struggle to keep your eyes open. “I-I don’t know,” you choke out, the images flashing across the gigantic screen practically unrecognizable to your muddled thoughts.

Behind you Jungkook tuts at your incompetence, thrusting forward with an intensity that would have sent you flying if not for the grip he has on you. “You don’t know?” he huffs, tugging your elbows back again as if to secure his grip on you.

His hips are moving fast now, every piston into your warm heat making you tremble. “Fffuck,” you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he continues ramming his cock into your pulsing hole. You’re met with a harsh yank that pulls you snugly onto his cock, your entire body screaming at the way he nudges against your cervix. Despite the pleasure it gives you, Jungkook seems anything but pleased.

“C’mon,” he huffs, twisting your arms painfully behind your back. “What did we say about that dirty mouth?” His question is followed with a snap of his hips that makes you choke on your spit. “Need you to be good for me, baby,” he groans.

“I-I am good,” you weakly defend, head hanging down limply as you fight to regain some semblance of your senses. But everything feels too much, from the rough push of his hips to the tight grip on your arms. His cock pulls out nearly all the way each time, swollen tip the only thing stopping him. Every thrust makes you quiver, every touch makes you melt.

You suppose he’d been too lenient on you up until now, and that final claim makes him snap. Jungkook scoffs, ramming his dick inside of you. “You’re being fucking terrible right now, doll,” he admits, hammering into you like a crazed man. You sob, the coil in your belly tightening with every brutal shove of his cock. It’s something about the way his composure withers away, all sweetness melting off as he thrusts into your cunt. “I’ve asked you twice now what the damn movie was about, and you didn’t answer either time.”

A hand clamps around your throat suddenly, yanking you up right until his breath fans across your ear. You’re not sure when your eyes had become so teary, but the images flickering across the screen are a foggy mess you couldn’t decipher even if you tried. “__,” he rasps against your ear, his voice scratchy. “Tell me. Now.”

You whimper as he shoves his way back inside, the angry head of his cock testing you. “T-Two girls, one’s a princess,” you cry, knees wobbling as the feeling in your core grows. “They look alike, and-and…”

“And?” Jungkook asks as you trail off, his words followed by a particularly brutal surge of his hips. His cock glides against your walls easily despite the way you clench around him.

“A-And they have problems they wanna avoid,” you stammer, the plot slipping in and out of your mind with every roll of his cock into your core. “So-so they swap places.”

Behind you, Jungkook snorts. “What a stupid fucking movie,” he says meanly, before he begins to piston his cock into you. You’re trembling by now, your orgasm looming over your head with each thrust.

Before you can warn him, the thin string holding you together snaps, the sudden flood of relief making your knees buck dangerously. Jungkook barely has enough time to catch you around the waist, holding you against him as a litany of curses and his name come spewing out of your mouth. “No, no,” you wail, your entire body twitching as the orgasm rolls over you. “Kook— Jungkook!”

“I’ve got you,” he reassures you, fingers holding you tight around the waist. The coffee table you had feared cracking your skull on finally comes to use as you press your hands onto the surface in a feeble attempt to steady yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you whimper, faintly aware of the rock hard cock between your pulsing walls, probably drenched in your cum now. “I-I didn’t—“

He shushes you quickly, settling the two of you back onto the couch. Funnily enough, he doesn’t bother pulling you off of him, his dick snug inside your cunt as he seats you on his lap. “You’re alright, sweetheart,” he comforts, hands soothingly running up your sides. You want to protest, want to get back on your knees and give him another chance to cum all over your face, but Jungkook nudges your chin with a knuckle. “Watch your movie,” he croons.

The Princess and the Pauper is literally the last thing on your mind right now; didn’t he realize how much you wanted to please him? Why was he choosing now to be so stubborn? Oh, that Jeon Jungkook, maybe Doyeon was right to call him an airhead.

Your slander campaign against your boyfriend is cut short when a hand flutters over your mound, thumb idly tracing over your sensitive clit. Before you can turn and look at him, Jungkook is rutting his hips against you slowly. “The screen, baby,” he says, and you want to argue that you can’t possibly enjoy a movie with him being so sneaky beneath you. The words get washed away when he presses down on your clit.

“Koo— Daddy,” you whine, lower lips still trembling from the orgasm you had two minutes ago. Jungkook responds with a kiss against your shoulder, hands trailing around your waist.

“No more of that,” he mumbles as he begins bouncing you on his cock. You moan, every inhale cut short by the shallow thrusts of his cock into your delicate walls. “Just your Kook now.”

“My… Kook,” you pant dreamily. Your cum provides an even better lubricant than before, lewd squelches filling the area alongside your cries as Jungkook chases both your second orgasms.

“Mhmm,” he groans, jostling you over his lap with no rhythm whatsoever. “Yours, baby.” You stretch your hands back, carding one set of fingers through the hair above his ear, pushing the strands away from his face. “Just like you’re mine.”

Something inside of you tightens painfully, and you’re not sure if it’s your heart or your pussy. You guess it’s both, as you stutter out, “y-your pretty girl?” Jungkook hums in agreement, repeating your favorite nickname back to you. The rest of your words die out between the two of you, lost in the slow and soft movements that fill in. You want to tell him you love him, adore him like no other, but every breath of air is stolen away by him.

Eventually the two of your are cumming, your second orgasms much quieter and slower compared to your first. You still mewl, wither against him when you cream his cock, and Jungkook catches you all the same. He guides you through the fog with kisses against your jaw, your dripping pussy helping him through his own.

When all is said and done and you’re both basking in a post-orgasmic make-out, you realize how sweaty and icky you are. “Ugh, this is gross,” you pout as he wiggles you off his lap. He pushes you beside him, letting you flop over the length of the couch as he reaches for something to clean you up with.

“You’re gross,” he retorts softly, blinking in that slow, drawn out way he does when you know he’s sleepy. His t-shirt runs along your neck, collecting the sweat there.

You nudge him with your foot. “I’m not the one who wanted to fuck during a Barbie movie,” you scoff, pinching the skin on his forearm when his gaze lingers a second too long on your creamy pussy. “Look somewhere else, weirdo.”

Jungkook laughs quietly, looking at you with an adoring expression on his face. He doesn’t even finish cleaning you off, tossing the soiled shirt somewhere off to the side in favor of cuddling into you. “Where? My Jumbotron?” he teases, raining down a parade of kisses against your face. “Don't wanna,” he smiles, too soft and boyish for the words that leave his lips next. “Wanna lick your pretty pussy clean.”

“Jeon Jungkook,” you scold, covering your face with your palms in embarrassment. “Look at your stupid IMAX screen and leave me alone.”

He cackles loudly now, in that evil witch way it took him a while to show you, and you know he’s got that big silly grin on his face now. . “The IMAX screen? The same one that made you,” a pause, “climax?”

“Get off of me.”

——

Just as you predicted, Jungkook’s mom gives him the scolding of a lifetime when she drops by the next weekend. The poor woman nearly faints at the theater screen on the wall, only to quickly regain herself. You giggle from your spot on the couch as she whacks his stupidly ripped bicep with the leek you’re supposed to chop up for dinner later.

What you’re not expecting is for her anger to shift to you as she scolds you for letting her idiotic son make such purchases. She gets one playful thwack against your side with the leek before your charming idiotic boyfriend swoops in to save you.

——

Copyright © August 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[moonlightlullaby]

no celebrations?

summary: Corpse and reader celebrate his birthday in the most chill way. Based on this lovely request (ty again for sending it!) 

pairing: corpse husband x gn! reader

category: fluff

warnings: food ingestion; alcohol ingestion; loads of physical touch (let me know if I forgot to mention anything)

A/N: Hello (: This is such a lovely concept, I just couldn’t wait to get started hehe Also, I got a bit carried away and just went with it, so I’m really sorry if that’s not what you’d pictured. I do hope you enjoy it tho <3 Take care!

word count: 2.4k

Masterlist

Walking into our shared bedroom, I catch the sight of Corpse exiting the bathroom. As our eyes lock, my lips curl up tiredly and a long sigh I didn’t even know I’ve been holding finally frees itself. He sits on the edge of our bed and extends his hand to me. When I take it, he pulls me so I stand in the space between his legs.

“How was the day?” he asks with both of his hands on my waist. 

I hum, quirking a brow and tilting my head a bit “At least tomorrow - you know, the most unspecial, completely ordinary day of the year -” this earns a giggle from my boyfriend “is Sunday and I can just ignore all of that” I wave my hand in the direction of the adjacent room, where my laptop - filled with texts, assignments, spreadsheets and appointed Zoom calls - is. 

At my words, Corpse wraps his arms around my figure, pulls my body even closer to him and plants a kiss on my stomach through my shirt. My hands, in turn, caress his upper back and soft hair. 

Coming in contact with the string of his eyepatch in the process, I lean back slightly, which causes him to shoot up at me with a small frown and pouty lips. He sits still, though, as I carefully remove his eyepatch, and, while his eyes are still closed, I give each of his lids a peck. He smiles and tilts his head up to meet my lips in a long, tender and effortless kiss. Oh finally.

The idea of quarantining together was welcomed as a blessing by both of us. It meant more time spent together after all. However, with my school and work demands and Corpse’s irregular schedule, we still barely see each other throughout the day in spite of being a few feet apart from one another. And when bedtime rolls in, we’re both so exhausted all we can do is mumble words that could be counted in the fingers of one hand before drifting off. This, of course, when my boyfriend doesn’t stay up until dawn working. Don’t get me wrong, I’m his number 1 fan and admire his passion and all the hard work he puts in everything he sets his mind to, but I’m also not going to lie and say I don’t miss his warmth at night. Hence I want to devote this Sunday to him.

After a while, I break the silence “I’ll be right back.”

I let go of his hold and take my turn to use the bathroom. After doing my night routine, brushing my teeth and getting into my cozy pajamas, I walk back in the dark room and lie down, settling myself back in Corpse’s hug like two puzzle pieces matching together.

~~~~~

The excitement for a new day - not any day, no, but August 8th - washes over me as soon as I open my eyes and get a glimpse of the sleepy boy next to me. 

A couple of minutes go by as I contemplate on getting up, torn between prolonging our cuddling for some more and doing something to show Corpse my appreciation for him. The latter wins and I, cautious not to wake him up, slowly unwrap my arms from him and step out of the bed. Drawing the curtains to make sure the summer daylight doesn’t disturb his peaceful state of mind, I make my way out of the room and to the kitchen. 

Wondering what to make for breakfast, I take a good look around until my eyes catch the plethora of fruits we’ve bought a few days ago. Fruit salad it is. 

Corpse has, for as long as we’ve known each other, made it very clear he isn’t too fond of his anniversary and similar celebrations - and, even if he hadn’t explained it to me, it’s rather evident how uncomfortable they make him. This year, his friends’ and especially his fans’ hype for the date - although unintentionally - has added an extra layer of unease to it all, to which I don’t intend to contribute.

Even though I don’t want to make matters worse and would never overstep his boundaries like this (because, thankfully, I’m not Betty Cooper and he isn’t Jughead Jones), I still want to celebrate Corpse. I want to celebrate his birth and his existence, which I’m immensely grateful for. He’s both the best friend I can confide in blindly and the lover I want to share my lifetime with. He sticks to his truth and dreams higher than I could ever imagine. He turns the darkness in the world and in his mind into light with his words and with his laugh. Having him in my life is one of the best things to ever happen to me and seeing him fly makes me more proud than I can put into words. 

There’s a lot to toast to, so the solution is a celebration that is so smooth and so chill - the smoothest and most chill possible - that it doesn’t even feel like one. Just log off and enjoy a laid back day together.

As I chop a kiwi and make a mental list of fun and uncomplicated things we can do that don’t require much time and many skills, in walks Corpse, in an old white tee which is one too many sizes bigger than him and in his black sweatpants. He rubs his eyes and lets a raspy “good morning”.

“Mornin- wow! They really weren’t lying when they said when you hit 24, hotness knocks at your door”

He chuckles and shakes his head “No one’s said that”

“Well, then consider yourself the muse of a new proverb, baby”

He scrunches up his nose in response before grabbing the cup of orange juice I’d placed on the counter and taking a gulp. 

“Thank you” he turns my face and gives me an orange-flavoured kiss, neither of us having ever really cared about morning breath. 

“For calling you hot? Oh save it to when I’m done with the list of cheesy compliments I have for you” I take a grape and before I can get it in my mouth, he steals it, with wrinkles on the corner of his eyes.

“Then we’d be here for eternity!” he’s not wrong.

Corpse helps me put the fresh fruits in bowls and, with them and our juice cup in hand, we head to the balcony. Sitting next to each other, we calmly eat, take in the light blue sky and the cars and passersby changing the scenery ahead of us. Conversation flows naturally.

As we empty our bowls - after stealing many bits from each other -, I twist in my seat and face him “Hey, Corpse, do you see this?” I point to the very prominent and familiar dark circles under my eyes. “Wanna help me get rid of them?” I ask, knowing damn well it’d take a lifetime for them to actually go away and not giving up regardless.

~~~~~

The bathroom is filled with chatter and laughter and the sink, with hair clips, scrunchies, a sharpie, bowls, hair products and a towel. Corpse hisses as our cool homemade face mask comes in contact with his skin. His curly hair is pushed back and held by a blue hairband and I apply the mask to his face, making sure not to leave any spots uncovered. Well, that’s what I’m trying to do, which becomes an unnecessarily challenging task when my lovely partner can’t be still for more than two seconds. 

He kept switching between dancing to Soulmate, by Mac Miller, and mouthing its lyrics. Now that I got him - after a small threat that I wouldn’t hesitate putting this weird mix we made in his pretty mouth - to keep his lips together, the (adorable, admittedly) swaying, however, continues. He stops momentarily, only to shuffle things around right after.

Something cold touches my skin, making it my turn to let out a hiss this time. The sound is accompanied by a small jump, caused by the surprise. Corpse chuckles and, when I glance at the spot on my arm the cold thing came in contact with, I realize it’s just the sharpie. All he does is give me a mischievous smile.

While I keep massaging his face and covering it with the mask, Corpse litters my body with his drawings. Smiley faces, lightning bolts, hearts, clouds... his repertoire is vast and any exposed skin he can find becomes his canvas. Each line causing me to giggle and shudder a little. With him focused on his creations, it’s 10 times easier for me to complete my task. 

“Alright, my turn” he states, smiling, and I’m quick to grab the sharpie. 

As he adjusts a matching hairband on my head, I put a dainty heart on his neck. And, as he takes the bowl in his hands, I swiftly plant a kiss on top of the drawing. At this, he sighs in content and my chest gets warmer.

I soon understand how hard it was for him to stay still as Stay comes on and all I want to do is have a little karaoke session and dance. Corpse entertains himself with my struggle and, because it’s his birthday, I’ll let it slide. So, to make the whole process easier, instead of focusing on the song, I focus on the gorgeous face in front of me. A beautiful face to a beautiful soul. 

One of the various perks of sharing an apartment with Corpse is I get to see this face in all ways: sleepy, completely clean - no makeup, no mask -, all wrinkled in the morning, red when he’s embarrassed or when he laughs too hard… His laughter. Its sound pulls me from my trance “You’re staring, y/n” 

“Well, at least I wasn’t moving around, Corpse” I reply with squinted eyes and nudge his side playfully. 

We begin collecting the things scattered across the sink and storing them in the cabinet, and the song comes to an end, giving way to Dang!

“How long do we keep these on?” 

I hum at the question and check the playlist on shuffle on my phone “How does 5 minutes and 2 seconds sound?” 

Facing him, his grin mirrors mine and he spins me around. We laugh and allow ourselves to be as goofy as possible, jamming and moving our limbs around with a green paste on our faces.

~~~~~

After washing off the masks in the shower and painting our nails - so we’re both rocking the black nail polish look -, we’ve set our minds to - finally - finish the puzzle we started two months ago. It’s a 90’s anime setting inspired composition and we’d gotten about 40% of it done before our schedules got more hectic and the game, well, pushed aside. For weeks, the pieces sat on the ground of our living room and silently judged us every time either of us stepped to the side, as we crossed the room, in order not to crush them.

Sitting around the puzzle with comfy clothes, we team up against it and indulge in the wine Corpse’s got us and the hawaiian pizza I’ve ordered. 

As the picture comes more and more to life, moments of comfortable silence and of chattery - when we talk about anything from our shopping list and gossip about our neighbours’ lives to parallel universes and the matrix - follow one another. A different playlist on shuffle is our background noise. 

Time flies and the sun’s already hidden when it clicks to us that there are only 5 pieces left. Each piece is fitted in the whole with a giddier feeling than the previous. Corpse picks the last one - deep blue with purple and black specks - and turns to me with an excited smile and an eager gaze that I’m sure are mirrored on my face. I nod encouragingly. He places it in the puzzle and celebratory sounds fill the room.

Corpse stretches his arms and pulls me in a hug, but, since we’re both kneeling and because of the distance between us, we end up falling and lying on the ground in rather uncomfortable positions. 

“Come on, puzzle, that was easy breezy! Gotta step up your game if you really wanna challenge this duo right here!”

“Oh for sure!” Corpse squeaks as we laugh at our nonsensical brag.

After a moment while we catch our breath, he rubs my back and speaks, pulling my attention to him “Not that I’m not loving this position, but what if we watched some Drag Race?”

Is this man real? If I couldn’t feel his heart beating under me or his arms around my figure, I’d be sure he’s just a figment of my imagination. “But it’s your b- don’t you wanna choose something you like more? Li-” 

“Nope,” he boops my nose “Drag Race, or maybe Love Island, would be great right now.” And people still dare say the perfect man doesn’t exist!

“You’re such a dream!” I give him a quick peck before continuing “Ok, so I put on the show and you get more wine…?” He hums in approval and stands up. Our eyes briefly jump from each other to the puzzle and back to each other, then we simply nod. A silent agreement to leave the puzzle here. We’re both too lazy to put all the pieces back in the box and too proud of our achievement to let it go just yet; besides, everything’s been sitting here for about two months, what are a few more hours?

He steps to the side, gets our glasses and makes his way to the kitchen. I lie on the couch and scan Netflix for Drag Race. Corpse comes back, placing the glasses next to the couch, and gently lies down on top of me. He nests his head on my chest and we both hum contently.  

While RuPaul announces what the winner’s prize will be, I play with his hair, letting my fingers knead his curls. His right hand flies up to meet mine and I bring our intertwined hands to my lips, peppering his knuckles with kisses. The gesture is cut by a loud laugh that escapes my lips as miss Vanjie Mateo’s iconic moment replays on the screen. 

“Hey,” Corpse’s voice makes me look right back at him “I love you. You know that, right?”

My heart melts at his words and at the way he’s looking at me right now. I nod with a smile.

“I love you too, birthday boy.”

[letterboxd]

In Focus: The Mummy

Dominic Corry responds on behalf of Letterboxd to an impassioned plea to bump up the average rating of the 1999 version of The Mummy—and asks: where is the next great action adventure coming from?

We recently received the following email regarding the Stephen Sommers blockbuster The Mummy:

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you on behalf of the nation, if not the entire globe, who frankly deserve better than this after months of suffering with the Covid pandemic.

I was recently made aware that the rating of The Mummy on your platform only stands at 3.3 stars out of five. … This, as I’m sure you’re aware, is simply unacceptable. The Mummy is, as a statement of fact, the greatest film ever made. It is simply fallacious that anyone should claim otherwise, or that the rating should fail to reflect this. This oversight cannot be allowed to stand.

I have my suspicions that this rating has been falsely allocated due to people with personal axes to grind against The Mummy, most likely other directors who are simply jealous that their own artistic oeuvres will never attain the zenith of perfection, nor indeed come close to approaching the quality or the cultural influence of The Mummy. There is, quite frankly, no other explanation. The Mummy is, objectively speaking, a five-star film (… I would argue that it in fact transcends the rating sytem used by us mere mortals). It would only be proper, as a matter of urgency, to remove all fake ratings (i.e. any ratings [below] five stars) and allow The Mummy’s rating to stand, as it should, at five stars, or perhaps to replace the rating altogether with a simple banner which reads “the greatest film of all time, objectively speaking”. I look forward to this grievous error being remedied.

Best, Anwen

Which of course: no, we would never do that. But the vigor Anwen expresses in her letter impressed us (we checked: she’s real, though is mostly a Letterboxd lurker due to a busy day-job in television production, “so finding time to watch anything that isn’t The Mummy is, frankly, impossible… not that there’s ever any need to watch anything else, of course.”).

So Letterboxd put me, Stephen Sommers fan, on the job of paying homage to the last great old-school action-adventure blockbuster, a film that straddles the end of one cinematic era and the beginning of the next one. And also to ask: where’s the next great action adventure coming from?

Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz and John Hannah in ‘The Mummy’ (1999).

When you delve into the Letterboxd reviews of The Mummy, it quickly becomes clear how widely beloved the film is, 3.3 average notwithstanding. Of more concern to the less youthful among us is how quaintly it is perceived, as if it harkens back to the dawn of cinema or something. “God, I miss good old-fashioned adventure movies,” bemoans Holly-Beth. “I have so many fond memories of watching this on TV with my family countless times growing up,” recalls Jess. “A childhood classic,” notes Simon.

As alarming as it is to see such wistful nostalgia for what was a cutting-edge, special-effects-laden contemporary popcorn hit, it has been twenty-one years since the film was released, so anyone currently in their early 30s would’ve encountered the film at just the right age for it to imprint deeply in their hearts. This has helped make it a Raiders of the Lost Ark for a specific Letterboxd demographic.

Sommers took plenty of inspiration from the Indiana Jones series for his take on The Mummy (the original 1932 film, also with a 3.3 average, is famously sedate), but for ten-year-olds in 1999, it may have been their only exposure to such pulpy derring-do. And when you consider that popcorn cinema would soon be taken over by interconnected on-screen universes populated by spandex-clad superheroes, the idea that The Mummy is an old-fashioned movie is easier to comprehend.

However, for all its throwbackiness, beholding The Mummy from the perspective of 2020 reveals it to have more to say about the future of cinema than the past. 1999 was a big year for movies, often considered one of the all-time best, but the legacy of The Mummy ties it most directly to two of that year’s other biggest hits: Star Wars: Episode One—The Phantom Menace and The Matrix. These three blockbusters represented a turning point for the biggest technological advancement to hit the cinematic art-form since the introduction of sound: computer-generated imagery, aka CGI. The technique had been widely used from 1989’s The Abyss onwards, and took significant leaps forward with movies such as Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), Jurassic Park (1993) and Starship Troopers (1997), but the three 1999 films mentioned above signified a move into the era when blockbusters began to be defined by their CGI.

A year before The Mummy, Sommers had creatively utilised CGI in his criminally underrated sci-fi action thriller Deep Rising (another film that deserves a higher average Letterboxd rating, just sayin’), and he took this approach to the next level with The Mummy. While some of the CGI in The Mummy doesn’t hold up as well as the technopunk visuals presented in The Matrix, The Mummy showed how effective the technique could be in an historical setting—the expansiveness of ancient Egypt depicted in the movie is magnificent, and the iconic rendering of Imhotep’s face in the sand storm proved to be an enduringly creepy image. Not to mention those scuttling scarab beetles.

George Lucas wanted to test the boundaries of the technique with his insanely anticipated new Star Wars film after dipping his toe in the digital water with the special editions of the original trilogy. Beyond set expansions and environments, a bunch of big creatures and cool spaceships, his biggest gambit was Jar Jar Binks, a major character rendered entirely through CGI. And we all know how that turned out.

A CGI-enhanced Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep.

Sommers arguably presented a much more effective CGI character in the slowly regenerating resurrected Imhotep. Jar Jar’s design was “bigger” than the actor playing him on set, Ahmed Best. Which is to say, Jar Jar took up more space on screen than Best. But with the zombie-ish Imhotep, Sommers (ably assisted by Industrial Light & Magic, who also worked on the Star Wars films) used CGI to create negative space, an effect impossible to achieve with practical make-up—large parts of the character were missing. It was an indelible visual concept that has been recreated many times since, but Sommers pioneered its usage here, and it contributed greatly to the popcorn horror threat posed by the character.

Sommers, generally an unfairly overlooked master of fun popcorn spectacle (G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is good, guys), deserves more credit for how he creatively utilized CGI to elevate the storytelling in The Mummy. But CGI isn’t the main reason the film works—it’s a spry, light-on-its-feet adventure that presents an iconic horror property in an entertaining and adventurous new light. And it happens to feature a ridiculously attractive cast all captured just as their pulchritudinous powers were peaking.

Meme-worthy: “My sexual orientation is the cast of ‘The Mummy’ (1999).”

A rising star at the time, Brendan Fraser was mostly known for comedic performances, and although he’d proven himself very capable with his shirt off in George of the Jungle (1997), he wasn’t necessarily at the top of anyone’s list for action-hero roles. But he is superlatively charming as dashing American adventurer Rick O’Connell. His fizzy chemistry with Weisz, playing the brilliant-but-clumsy Egyptologist Evie Carnahan, makes the film a legitimate romantic caper. The role proved to be a breakout for Weisz, then perhaps best known for playing opposite Keanu Reeves in the trouble-plagued action flop Chain Reaction, or for her supporting role in the Liv Tyler vehicle Stealing Beauty.

“90s Brendan Fraser is what Chris Pratt wishes he was,” argues Holly-Beth. “Please come back to us, Brendaddy. We need you.” begs Joshhh. “I’d like to thank Rachel Weisz for playing an integral role in my sexual awakening,” offers Sree.

Then there’s Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bey, a member of the Medjai, a sect dedicated to preventing Imhotep’s tomb from being discovered, and Patricia Velásquez as Anck-su-namun, Imhotep’s cursed lover. Both stupidly good-looking. Heck, Imhotep himself (South African Arnold Vosloo, coming across as Billy Zane’s more rugged brother), is one of the hottest horror villains in the history of cinema.

“Remember when studio movies were sexy?” laments Colin McLaughlin. We do Colin, we do.

Sommers directed a somewhat bloated sequel, The Mummy Returns, in 2001, which featured the cinematic debut of one Dwayne Johnson. His character got a spin-off movie the following year (The Scorpion King), which generated a bunch of DTV sequels of its own, and is now the subject of a Johnson-produced reboot. Brendan Fraser came back for a third film in 2008, the Rob Cohen-directed The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Weisz declined to participate, and was replaced by Maria Bello.

Despite all the follow-ups, and the enduring love for the first Sommers film, there has been a sadly significant dearth of movies along these lines in the two decades since it was released. The less said about 2017 reboot The Mummy (which was supposed to kick-off a new Universal Monster shared cinematic universe, and took a contemporary, action-heavy approach to the property), the better.

The Rock in ‘The Mummy Returns’ (2001).

For a long time, adventure films were Hollywood’s bread and butter, but they’re surprisingly thin on the ground these days. So it makes a certain amount of sense that nostalgia for the 1999 The Mummy continues to grow. You could argue that many of the superhero films that dominate multiplexes count as adventure movies, but nobody really sees them that way—they are their own genre.

There are, however, a couple of films on the horizon that could help bring back old-school cinematic adventure. One is the long-planned—and finally actually shot—adaptation of the Uncharted video-game franchise, starring Tom Holland. The games borrow a lot from the Indiana Jones films, and it’ll be interesting to see how much that manifests in the adaptation.

Then there’s Letterboxd favorite David Lowery’s forever-upcoming medieval adventure drama The Green Knight, starring Dev Patel and Alicia Vikander (who herself recently rebooted another video-game icon, Lara Croft). Plus they are still threatening to make another Indiana Jones movie, even if it no longer looks like Steven Spielberg will direct it.

While these are all exciting projects—and notwithstanding the current crisis in the multiplexes—it can’t help but feel like we may never again get a movie quite like The Mummy, with its unlikely combination of eye-popping CGI, old-fashioned adventure tropes and a once-in-a-lifetime ensemble of overflowing hotness. Long may love for it reign on Letterboxd—let’s see if we can’t get that average rating up, the old fashioned way. For Anwen.

Related content

How I Letterboxd with The Mummy fan Eve (“The first film I went out and bought memorabilia for… it was a Mummy action figure that included canopic jars”)

The Mummy (Universal) Collection

Every film featuring the Mummy (not mummies in general)

Follow Dom on Letterboxd