#gmmm does movies

[getmemymicroscope]

Well, in stark contrast to the lack of thrill/entertainment in the newly Netflix-produced/released Jewel Thief: The Heist Begins is this wonky 2004 "high school heist movie" where a bunch of desperate (mostly) high schoolers decide to break into the poorly-guarded ETS building and steal the answers to the ETS (any plan on how they'd bring those stolen results into the test itself is not further explained). And while it is a bit dumb, and also definitely very much a "high school movie" (including the "I've never broken a rule" [almost] valedictorian), they pack in the things you need to really make it feel like a heist movie.

The plan are largely bare bones (again, made much easier because the place is weakly guarded and because finding the test is not really meant to be the crux of the matter), and even sort of backfires because of that reason. Having made it all the way to the computer with the test, and even having broken in, they realize they've made it too far to just give up. So they decide, seriously, to sit down and take the exam as a group (well, 2 groups of 2 - one taking the math portion and one the verbal; the 3rd group are the lookouts) to have the answers. And they do exactly that.

We get some background on the characters here - maybe cliché, to some extent, but again, at least they make the effort to complete the backstories and explain why these characters are doing what they're doing. They also try to counter some of the typically accepted generalizations - the athlete is solid at math; the (almost) valedictorian is a horrible test taker because she gets lost within word problems - while diving head-first into others - the Asian (stoner) is an overachiever at math, and also apparently at coding.

Of course, while they do steal the answers - at a cost - this movie isn't about "cheating gets you ahead." They all decide not to use the results (although, they don't go completely to waste), having learned the truths about themselves the night of the heist (into the next day) - and also accepting the truths of who they are. I think, based on what they tell us, only 1 of them definitely gets the score they were shooting for.

Look back now, this is a crazy cast - with pre-Avengers Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson, and even NBA player Darius Miles!, and Matthew Lillard, amongst others.

It's not on the same level as like any of the Ocean's movies, or The Sting, or anything, but it does manage to be both a decent heist movie (again, without really formulating much of a complicated plan) and a decent young adult/high school-to-college-age student movie (developing friendships, learning about yourself, picking the right way to lead life, expressing yourself). Nothing necessarily to make it stand out - beyond the cast, maybe, and the crazy idea of stealing SAT scores in that way - but it at least includes the thrills and excitement that most heist movies require to seem truly thrilling (including failability, plans going sideways, and the really real risk of them getting caught).

[getmemymicroscope]

Honestly, the biggest problem with this movie isn't so much with the movie itself as it is with the movie being branded as a "noir thriller." I mean, sure, it is technically 'noir' - to some extent, at least - but that genre would suggest a lot more detective-led action and thrills. If you go in hoping for fast-paced thrills or any sort of true detective story, you're going to end up bored.

Instead, we have what turns out to be a very slow-paced character study and exploration of aging and guilt, that is set in the backdrop of a murder investigation (which happens only peripherally in our view) and, as it unfolds, a lot of buried trauma. Characters are not whom they seem - or, more importantly, they are much more than they originally appear.

Our lead, who I guess is the 'femme fatale' of the story, doesn't go to the detective with a case - in fact, if anything, it is the exact opposite. But really what we have is a full-on stalker situation (him, not her) that leads to their "chance" meeting at a speed dating event that further devolves into a full dereliction of this detective duties in the name of love (this is not uncommon in movies, I don't feel).

But as things unfold in the end - for him and for us - we learn that all is not that it seems. While we already know she should be a suspect, essentially from the start but especially as the movie intercuts the present with flashbacks to the pre-murder past, we also learn eventually that there is a lot more going on in her life. The twist with the Hayley Atwell angle was good, for sure, but it just doesn't land as huge a impact because of how slowly things unfold in front of us (I say that, but the scene where he opens the bedroom door and really drives everything home is pretty excellent). Of course, the general lack of characters in the story overall keep you from ever getting lost within the "who" or anything, and the concise cast also helps hide the twists a little better.

But, in that, this turns even further from 'noir' and 'thriller' to just a straight up analysis of her, and of memory, and, I think, of internalized guilt.

We also have, very peripherally, a couple of characters who are there just to give us a few more "suspects" (again, for a murder mystery that we have no real reason to think about, as we're not part of the investigation; furthermore, we never really have any reason to suspect them at all, and by the time we're even shown how everything connects for them, we already know who is guilty), but that just feels unnecessary because, other than runtime, it adds very little.

I like the story, overall - I just think if I'd have known that it was less pulse-pounding thrills and more just 2 folks going around doing things at a leisurely pace, I'd probably have not watched it at a time where I was hoping for a bit more action. (The generalization of this as 'noir' let me know there would be some twists coming along, but even with that, this story did a decent job of keeping things well hidden until they were to be revealed.)

[getmemymicroscope]

To some end, I think this story is practically interchangeable with any of the stories that this sort of premise brings to mind (even just based solely on the title, as I hadn't seen any trailers). Indiana Jones, I think I saw somewhere; National Treasure, maybe even; really, any such "treasure hunter"-type story - though the one that really jumped to my mind was Uncharted. This may have been further strengthened as the comparison because, despite an excellent cast, the movie is entirely predictable and follows every single 'predecessor' movie in its twists, turns, and even just the basic story.

Sure, this time they're looking for the 'fountain of youth' instead of some other interchangeable treasure, but essentially we have a team - in this case, mostly just Krasinski and Portman, as the rest of the team just stands around standing guard - and we have the moneyman, who is lying about the motivation and is clearly going to turn around to be bad (predictable from essentially the start), and we have the folks on their tails. And they traverse the world, stealing some other relics (paintings, the Wicked bible) and randomly and inexplicably having some others (one of the paintings stolen from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, for example), to go on a 'treasure map on the back of the declaration of independence'-level chase that eventually leads them to the great pyramids and, yes, the desired fountain.

But, of course, it isn't that easy - our hero gets into the fountain but realizes the value of what is in his life and says "no thanks" (though, I don't get what is up with all of the visions he has of the future, which is really random and just kinda gives everything away even before it happens), whereas the greedy bad guy is too selfish to realize and ends up losing himself in this thirst for ... money, I guess. Maybe just power. Not sure.

Despite being a 'constantly on the move' trip around the world, the pace rarely breaks a sweat, just leisurely pacing itself while trying to convince us that things are thrilling and hectic. Some of it, maybe, is just how nonchalantly Krasinski's character comes across the entire movie. Even when he's in trouble, he's not, which really limits any sort of 'thrill' or feeling of danger, and since you know from the start how the twists are going to fall, there's nothing even going there. When the truth is "revealed" (just a few minutes after it was foretold by another character, no less, just to put it into our brains in case we weren't already thinking it), you just yawn it off and await the obvious impending greed-related demise that the character will undergo.

Stanley Tucci has one scene - two if you count the fact that it is essentially replayed again later to add some unnecessary exposition - and Eiza González gets to have a couple of fight sequences (probably the best part of the movie) while constantly being a step behind until she apparently gets a deus ex machina-type moment (okay, not really, since she's in the movie - but she just has a key to "end it," which is ridiculous). They do try to give us some backstory about the siblings, but it is very patchy and poorly explored, which is fine because no one else has any sort of backstory either.

They go on a journey - reminding each other multiple times that life is about the journey, not the treasure at the end - and then the movie shows them going on a journey and coming to value that more than the treasure at the end. The fountain of youth is, apparently, not all that the name would imply it is.

Aside from the couple of fight sequences, the best scene - in terms of how it looked on screen - was the dream-state Krasinski had with the glass that contained the liquid from the fountain of youth (and the eventual shattering of that glass). While the idea of his foreshadowing dreams is both major spoilers (though, again, predictable even without this) and never explained at all, the way this sequence plays out is pretty nice.

The rest of it - sadly, not so much.

[getmemymicroscope]

Okay, for the first 2 hours of this movie, I fluctuated between "man this feels long" (much like Saripodhaa Sanivaaram, which I still haven't been able to get all the way through; though, in my defense, that movie is almost 3 hours long, so it doesn't just feel long, it is long), slight annoyance (full-length flashback), and multiple thoughts of "gruesome."

Then, in the final 30 minutes - it becomes EVEN MORE gruesome and gritty - but, also, the action really picks up (gore, too, with blood everywhere and insane amounts of stabbings and mutilations, including a complete beheading and, in one case in the near background, someone essentially getting split in half!), and it becomes a lot more entertaining. (FWIW, I'm usually not okay with that much violence, but I can make an exception, it appears, when I like the actor(s).) The last half hour is essentially completely just Nani literally ripping through people - except, you know, when we cut to the "in love" female cop who is just very adept at making really dumb decisions because love makes her forget all of her training and kills all of her brain cells - in the most macabre of ways. For a good reason, mind you, if that makes it okay. It's more gritty than a lot of the stylized violence that seems to focus more on just being very clean that we see in, for example, Bollywood today. Again - he literally stabs someone with a sword and pulls it all the way up until they've been split in half (he's in our way so we only see the action, not the full gruesomeness of it). He also, twice, pulls of his bloody shirt/jacket to reveal an equally blood shirt beneath it, which I just found weirdly entertaining as a concept.

And, in true 'cinematic universe' spirit, we get a brief return from HIT 2 (Adivi Sesh, and dog too!) for that final fight sequence (think like Singham's appearance in Simmba, or Sooryavanshi's appearance in Singham Again, and not the more extended appearances of Simmba in Singham Again or of Simmba or Singham in Sooryavanshi) - and it is so much fun to get them. When she gets told on the phone that backup was coming but it wasn't the rest of the force, I was a bit confused (I haven't seen the trailer for this movie, but I'm assuming they didn't spoil all the appearances like Singham Again's trailer did), and when Adivi Sesh showed up, I literally exclaimed "oh fuck yeah!"

The movie is almost entirely a single long flashback which, yeah, sucks, so I'll gripe about that. And the story-telling is a bit slow early on - as he goes into a flashback, within the flashback he's already telling - to expositionize why he's doing what he's doing. But eventually that story comes to an end and we're able to get going with the story. And yes, the story is morbid and bloody and horrific - but they do a good job of giving the bad guy(s) the deserved just desserts, and things never get away from them. Prateik Babbar is a horrific villain here.

It does feel like a long 2.5 hours though, because the first half definitely slogs. But when things get going, boy do they get going. At this point, feels like there will be no Bollywood remake of HIT 2 and HIT 3 (not sure who they'd even get for them, though at this point Adivi Sesh has also had a couple of Bollywood appearances I think; it's out of his wheelhouse, maybe, but I'd be down to see Ayushmann Khurrana give it a go) - OTOH, it does seem like they're working on a HIT 4, so that's exciting!

[getmemymicroscope]

So, on the one hand this is pretty obviously predictable. Romantic comedy/drama that is high on the drama, a bit lacking with regards to romance (because the entire movie, until the sudden "movie's ending" wrap-up, is showing us failing relationships - or, more accurately, liars in relationships), and a bit iffy on the romance (some laughs, some predictably cliché moments that come in to add laughs), but overall, does a decent job of telling its story.

There is (obviously) a moment where things get super dramatic (well done) and then they break the tension with a "surprise, he's gay" misconception, which is played for laughs - typical for Bollywood. However, I will give them credit in that they don't just play it for laughs and drop it - it does come up again, in a serious manner, and is decently addressed. I mean, it's only 1 plot point so it isn't like they spend hours on it, but at least they don't immediately drop it.

I guess the point is that everyone has secrets in their relationships - probably shouldn't be airing that out in front of others - and secrets from their significant others - most of this drama could probably have been avoided if they'd not kept those. Relationships aren't easy and every one has ups and downs - and it is much easier to fight those downs if you're fighting them together. But, for that, you've got to have the ability to trust each other.

By the end of the movie (frustratingly, the 'Do U Know' song apparently doesn't have a video with it?!), all the relationships have gone through the ringer. It looks like they'll probably all survive, hopefully stronger for the wear, and the game may have actually helped at least one of the relationships become a bit stronger because they can finally open up to each other. The others were going to eventually be doomed - one because of a pretty damning secret, the other because of a habitual liar - but maybe now there is enough to save them.

Akshay Kumar's character is like the antithesis of his character in Thank You or Sanjay Dutt's in Shaadi No. 1 - this time, he's the full-on liar/player (think like Salman Khan in No Entry), and for everything that has happened, you do wonder how much better his character is going to be after all this. Is anything he said the entire time actually truth? Who knows. We also don't get any closure on the relationship between the daughter and Vaani's character, though that obviously isn't the focus of this movie. That probably won't get much better anytime soon.

There were some pretty solid scenes/dialogues - Taapsee, when she finally speaks up (after her email); Fardeen, when he finally has had enough of the lies and speaks from his heart and tells the truth; Akshay, talking to his daughter on the phone; Vaani's heartbreak when she hears the words from Akshay's daughter - that were pretty effective in being impactful in what was said. Beyond that, there was also some fun and some craziness arising from what is obviously a weird game to decide to play (also, like, crazy that they all got so many of these messages/emails that late in the night).

This isn't exactly an "I love this" type of movie, but honestly, it was decent. Once it finally got going, the story moves at a decent pace and there's enough drama - and admixed comedy - to keep things moving along. Obviously the point is supposed to be "everyone has secrets" and "everyone hides things from others, even their best friends and their spouses," but it might've been nice to see a semi-decent relationship that doesn't paint all relationships as a sinking ship (I mean, maybe they all are, and this does help lead up to his final monologue in which he mentions how relationships are a lot of work and are entirely based on how you act on them); I just think a more stable relationship might've helped not make everything seem so bleak. But then, you'd need more characters and there probably isn't much time/scope for that.

Taapsee really steals this movie when she gets the chance, and Vaani Kapoor is also good. Fardeen also makes a decent go of things - haven't seen him in a while. This is obviously an Akshay starrer, and he's his typical self - I just am not a fan of liars, especially in this type of movie.

Even with the drama, I wasn't bored. And it never goes full-on Bollywood melodrama like we used to get in the 90s. Got to hand it to them for that. Decently done.

[getmemymicroscope]

Bollywood's obsession with bypassing any sort of "HIPAA" laws (well, whatever the Indian alternative is) and patient confidentiality is absolutely bonkers. In Red, one of the worst movies I've ever seen, the heart transplant recipient convinces the doctor to tell him who donated his heart because they're friends and he just wants to say "thank you" (even though the donor's wife or whatever - I don't remember, it has been a while - makes it clear she never wants to meet said person again), leading us to an absolutely bullshit thriller with a doctor who clearly has never been to medical school. This time around, on accounts of being rich and powerful, our protagonist learns the recipients of the organs donated by his wife - and sets out to meet these people and "altruistically" help these people to keep his wife alive (of course, it isn't that simple).

Things backfire, and despite hacking in and completely wiping records of the transplants, the fact that only three 'AB' patients received organ transplants makes it very easy for the bad guys to find them. So now the truth comes out and he has to save these folks physically as well.

The story seems to want to have many messages - the backwards idea that women shouldn't work, the rich folks allowing garbage to be dumped in areas and the affects it has on the people that live there, corrupt politicians (doesn't every movie, at this point, deal with this?), the power of the people - but it just becomes too much at once, meaning that everything is quickly and easily solved. The 'bad guy' behind the trash dumping shows up for one sequence and is immediately just bought off - meaning that the message seems to be "if you're bad, someone super rich will come and pay you to stop being bad," which clearly is never going to happen.

The power of the aam junta - feels very Jai Ho!, no? - just means we multiple times see a mass of folks that show up to prevent the cops from arresting our hero because they deitize him (a common feature in many of his movies). The working woman thing probably gets the most scope, but even that is sort of just passively happening in the background.

We don't get much background about 1 of our recipients - Kajal Aggarwal, who gets the eyes - but she just had the surgery and yet when he shows up she is sent to make chai and soon after she's cooking whenever we see her. The heart recipient is the daughter of Sanjay Kapoor, who gets essentially no scope at all, and I guess there's some story there about "guys are jerks" or "love is stupid" or something, but its poorly done and doesn't really have an impact (none of the stories do, really).

Perhaps most damning is that despite being our hero's wife - at least for a hot minute - we have no backstory about Rashmika's character. Like, she's clearly devoted to him to crazy levels (her repeated secretive messages/conversations about "I will never let anything happen to him") - but we get essentially nothing more than a vague throwaway line about what led her to him/him to her and why she is so crazily protective. All we do she is that she seems to like painting, but he has no time for her.

She's wasted. Sharman Joshi is wasted. The bad guys are wasted. Kajal Aggarwal is wasted. Honestly, despite all these names, no one is really even present in the movie for that much time - except maybe Sharman Joshi, who just stands in the background and utters some "we're with you" type lines. The morals the story is going for are completely lost in a poorly-told story that fails to give them any real scope or impact and doesn't really provide any answers beyond "wait for a rich, powerful guy that cares to come and save you by taking on the rich, powerful guy that doesn't."

This movie is already long (or really feels it), but we would've benefited from more Salman/Rashmika backstory - especially since we only see that he doesn't have time for her ever (she also tells us this), yet all this happens because of his "love," and we the backstory of their "relationship" is also very iffy (it normally wouldn't be an issue, beyond the fact they specifically bring it up - probably just to address the age difference - and then say nothing of note to explain anything, and because holy shit she's acting like he's her god and is willing to raise mountains to save him but we don't know the backstory leading to this). The songs and music are just meh.

Somehow this happened to be both way too long and just not long enough to address all the questions we have. Also, what a stupid politician. And even that cop, they have an entire scene to make us thing that he'll realize the error in his ways and turn good, but that also never happens. Just a wasted sequence in a movie full of them.

[getmemymicroscope]

Some of the posters/promos for this call it a "spine chilling murder mystery" which, honestly, really overstates what is going on, because while it is surely a murder mystery, the 'spine chilling' quickly fizzles out as - is typical for Bollywood (especially back in the late 90s; specifically 1998, in this case) - the flow is constantly interrupted by songs (not great, for the most part), comedy (Deven Verma and Tabu) that provides a subplot that doesn't really amount to anything, and just a lot of odd choices (like the clearly corrupt-ish cop who eventually just disappears and is never shown to be anything more than just a pathetic lapdog for the rich).

But, beyond that, the story is simple enough - a bunch of folks (your typical Bollywood baddies for the time - Gulshan Grover, Sharat Saxena, Navneet Nishan, and Sadashiv Amrapurkar, plus Upasana Singh; Suresh Oberoi too, though he has a longer stay) show up, cause some chaos, and then get killed off. All these murder scenes are branded with the number '2001' (thus the name of the movie, which has nothing to do with the year - which would still be 3 years away at the time of this movie) written in blood - sometimes on the body, sometimes on a mirror, one time on a bomb underneath the car (which is pretty stupid, because if the bomb goes off, no one would ever see it there).

Enter our 'foes-turned-friends' cops - Jackie Shroff, who is immediately stonewalled from interviewing the powerful minister who was around at the time of the first murder by his useless chief (whose only job seems to be to make sure that the case isn't solved - hell, there's even that entire shootout at Jackie's house [with a fucking helicopter!] and the chief is just like "no, it wasn't this guy cuz I was with him" as if the bad guy would do it himself and not just hire his henchman to do that sort of thing), and, in a bit, Rajat Bedi (playing a character named ... Rajat Bedi). Bedi is one of those masala film type characters - in a very non-masalsa film story - who goes into a hostage situation guns blazing, decides to snip the wires on the bomb without waiting for the bomb squad (the first time he fails, of course, but luckily there's still enough time for them to run away), and really just doesn't follow any protocols at all. But they do eventually start to get along, to the point where they get drunk and exchange stories (though not all stories) and eventually get the 'buddy/buddy' song that usually foreshadows a falling out and/or death.

The story continues - deaths pile up, Dimple Kapadia shows up every now and then as Jackie's wife, Tabu shows up as Rajat's love interest (and the comedy relief, though the 'comedy' is a bit lacking) and gets the majority of the songs (Jackie/Rajat get the aforementioned buddy song; Jackie and Dimple's kids get some random song as well), and the bad guys just have a bunch of in-fighting before dying.

Of course, truths do eventually come out and the drama reaches peak Bollywood levels; we learn the identity of the killer, the reason for the killings, and the point of '2001' - which is so pointless and long ago that it doesn't ring any bells for any of the victims/future victims ... none of them assign any importance to the number, which suggests maybe it didn't have the impact it was supposed to have. And again, I have to point out the absurdity of writing it on a bomb that you've placed underneath a car - if it goes off, no one would see it. (Also questioning - who placed the bomb in Jackie's bathroom - obviously we're supposed to think its Suresh Oberoi's henchman, but who knows?)

Tabu is gorgeous, which is all you can really take away because she doesn't get to do much else - other than being a really bad low-level thief - until she goes all sappy/emotional at the end and blaming Rajat for doing his job (like, he already feels like shit about what happened, no need to kick him when he's down). This was apparently Rajat's entry to Bollywood - and also, it appears, his only go as a lead actor, because he immediately shifts to like 'guest appearance' and/or villainous roles after the fact (there may be some small other 'lead' roles later, in movies that don't even have their own Wiki link, but otherwise, this is it). He gets some action and song/dance and gets to romance Tabu, and somehow they got Jackie and Dimple to sign up for this as well - but the movie doesn't really do much, getting too bogged down by the other stuff to really be a tight, well-scripted thriller.

The suspense is fairly predictable - especially since all the usual suspects just keep getting killed off. They threw in a fake-twist there near the end that amounts to just "I was trying to save you" that really would've been the most brilliant twist because you'd have no reason to think it (on the other hand, there was so little background/build-up there that it may have just come across as "we picked whoever would be the most shocking, whether it fits the story or not"), but that would've been a nice twist. But they undo that just seconds later, and it goes back to the utterly predictable, which sucks.

[getmemymicroscope]

Another 'action' movie ('action romance, to be more specific, because the 'romance' bit is carrying a heavy load here) that takes an interesting, if very poorly planned/plotted, background thriller-type story (very plot hole heavy), and loses it amongst a kinda iffy romance story (though, I think also, the movie skipped a bit, because he goes from knocked out/dying to on the beach romancing her; additionally, the audio cut out multiple times). And then, when he's dying, he sends a note to her instead of to the commissioner that knows what is going on? What type of fucked up "save me" logic is that?

The background story, with Pradeep Kumar's cop being sent to replace his dead lookalike thief, actually has shades of the later-to-follow Don (down to the point of only 1 senior cop knowing about it; though he doesn't die here) - however, here, since the focus isn't on that, we just get newspaper headlines of things happening, and the plot line itself is not fully well explained/explored. Hell, early on, a random subplot is some other cop - who recognizes the face as that of the known bad guy - constantly following him around trying to catch him. Waste of resources, if nothing else.

Instead, there's a lot of following of Madhubala's character, who is looking for her 15 minutes of fame - she obviously kills the role, but it seems to take away from the background plot without ever really amounting to much for her beyond heartache. Of course, it'd also have been better if she'd just been willing to, you know, actually communicate with him. And then, of course, random fucking melodrama at the very end. I guess it doesn't help that he never tells her the truth about who he is and what he's doing, which allows the drama in their relationship to take over the 3rd arc of the movie. And then, of course, final sequence, she shows up to help him a bit but then repeatedly get pushed away and knocked out.

I understand wanting to have some of the romance in this story, but they do a pretty poor job of balancing it with the backstory that is what gets this movie start in the first place, and an even worse job of telling us why the role switch works (just showing us it apparently does, though we don't even really see much of the bad guys they're trying to take down ever being successful at anything - just being upset that they're constantly being outwitted). Getting lost in that inability to find a balance means that the overall script isn't as tight or fun as CID or Johny Mera Naam, which are apparently my go-to comparisons for movies of the times (very loosely. since CID came out in 1956 and JMN in 1970).

The ending song, a new song that plays after the movie is over, but before the final credits, is an interesting decision. I'm sure it has happened multiple times, but none immediately come to mind - and of course, nowadays, they just play songs with the end credits (for recent example, Jewel Thief: The Heist Begins).

It's decent, don't get me wrong. But the 'suspense' (for the characters, not us) gets lost in the chase, the action never really shows up until the very end, and the cleverness of the lookalike switch really pales when you compare it to stories that came after it (obviously, that wasn't an issue if you watched the movie back in 1958, but it is very clear if you watch it now and compare it to movies that came out after and definitely tightened the scripts).

[getmemymicroscope]

I'm sure some of this is because it's a poorly-preserved film quality on YT - choppy, poor audio quality, etc. - but also, this is just a horribly plotted out story that goes nowhere, is entirely filmed at night (dumb for a black-and-white film) frequently cuts away to pointless side stories, and romanticizes a main hero that (in typically 1950s Bollywood style) is straight up a harasser (I guess in his defense - not really in his defense - her father and the bad guy are worse, but honestly, they're all fucking shit).

Nutan spends half the movie crying and the other half of the movie being picked up and carried to places by the horrible guys in her life. She needs to fuck out of there and never see any of these people again. Hell, even at the end, after her father tried to literally burn everything and hurt her, she's like "you tried to light my life on fire, but I'm not going to leave you now" and instead of escaping from a burning building, she decides to stand and sing until death grabs her (saved, of course, by the hero, because someone needs to literally carry her one last time).

For half the movie, our hero is 'presumed dead' and just disappears from the story. Then he returns and its an onslaught of solo sad songs - him and her, alternatively - because they're too busy being sad instead of communicating. Nutan does look gorgeous and absolutely steal the scene whenever she's allowed to do something that isn't wallowing or being carried around.

Its unfortunate, because all this bullshit - especially the hero's complete ridiculousness and the obvious 1950s treatment of the heroine as useless, despite all that she does (hell, she saves the guy!) - destroys a somewhat fascinating story about a protagonist looking for their father (though, honestly - 1970's Johny Mera Naam does it so much better). This 'action thriller' is missing most of the action and the thrill, and even doesn't really do much explaining about the cause of the preceding events that led to the build-up of this story (and, most importantly, much of anything at all with the 'nagina' ring thing).

The ridiculousness of our main character and his harassing ways, the complete randomness of the guy that is our villain (with no real explanation of why he's there, or how he's involved, or how he knows anything that is going on at all), the choppiness of the story itself, and the completing wasting of a pretty decent character (aside from her apparently refusing to walk) drop this to the bottom of my '1950s movies watched' list. Also, talks about ghosts aside, this isn't really a 'horror' or by any real stretch an 'action thriller' - it feels more like a romantic drama (god the melodrama and the lack of communication!) set within a "lost family member" backstory that goes for thrills but mostly just ends up on "when will this end."

[getmemymicroscope]

This is a fascinatingly fun story - even with the frequent asides that are Johnny Walker as private detective and Shammi as his sidekick, which are clearly included as a sort of comic relief (again, its fine overall, but probably just a bit too much) - about our protagonist, an officer, trying to apprehend this criminal 'Black Cat' gang.

What the movie does give up, sort of unfortunately, by spending so much time on the private detective bits - and later, much more annoyingly, the overly melodramatic mom and girlfriend sequences (the mom one, honestly, made me wish the movie would be less classic Bollywood and end every differently) - is any real delving into why our antagonist is the leader of this gang, or what the gang does (I mean, they say like robbery and murder, but like, none of it is explained really), or why it came to be, or how it can be so powerful to have up to 37 numbered henchmen (at least) and yet poorly-formed enough that it is all going to end with 1 death. No succession plan?

They reveal to us pretty early on who the culprit is, so for us it is more of a cat-and-mouse chase, punctuated by clever actions on both sides and drawn longer by the aforementioned overly dramatic sequences with the girlfriend (protagonist's GF, antagonist's sister; because, of course, everyone has to be connected). And when it goes so far as to involve the protagonist's sister being kidnapped, his mom loses her mind (understandable, fine; but the overly melodramatic way it is portrayed just jars you away from enjoying the filming and just wanting it to end with the officer being thrown out of the house so you don't have to see/hear it anymore).

It's probably a bit unrealistic, but that final sequence where he can no longer see and so the tension builds (because he's already shown he's a good shot based on just sound alone, which they obviously showed us earlier just to set up this scene) is actually pretty fucking fantastic (besides the sister, who looks almost ready to yell despite knowing that a noise will get her shot). It makes up for the slightly ridiculous action that has gotten us to that point.

It's a bit long and overdrawn in bits, but if it was tightened up a bit, it would make for a fascinating film even today. Aside from that one sequence with the mom and maybe some of that one sequence with the girlfriend when she goes full-on crazy about her brother being accused (again, understandable reaction, though a bit much; but more so, just a massive ear-sore when watching the movie), this is pretty great. But those scenes do exist, so I'd probably have to put this behind CID, Apradhi Kaun?, Mujrim, and 12 O'Clock in my list of 1950s Bollywood (yes, they're more annoying that the weak love triangle in Mujrim).

[getmemymicroscope]

Billed (on Wiki, I will admit) as a "crime thriller" - this instead feels more like a poorly-developed love triangle (where one of the characters, who carries the definite air of "I'm wealthy so I'm better than you," is constantly misled; one is forced to pretend to be in a love triangle for some weird reason - I don't get why he doesn't just tell her off, beyond the point of making the story go on longer; and the final is just always getting the brunt of the misunderstanding and resultant tears) that very briefly takes us into the psyche of our "mujrim" (criminal). But hey, as I continue my trend of watching early Bollywood, this movie from 1957 at least had the presence of a name I recognized (Shammi Kapoor; Johnny Walker), which helps offset the fact I don't think I'd heard the songs before (though, honestly, they're not that bad).

Specifically there are a couple of instances - once when he's considering murder, and once after an incidental run-in with a slightly suspicious officer - where you can essentially hear the angel and/or devil on his shoulder. But outside of those two instances, its more of him just playing his new role - he's taken the place in the world of his recently deceased (no, the devil didn't win and he didn't actually kill the guy) lookalike (no surprise "he was your brother" twist this time around) - which involves being a playwright (again, we see very little of this), which he continues with because he's in love with the girl, and apparently involves keeping up appearances with the aforementioned rich girl who apparently thinks they're going to be married soon. Oh, and he's trying to hide from the world that he's actually a thief. He tries to tell his love interest - portrayed by Ragini - a couple of times, but this is Bollywood so of course that never comes out until she learns it from someone else at the end.

Shammi doesn't reach the full level of 'Shammi-ness' that we come to witness in full glory in the coming decades, portraying a slight more laid-back character. He also doesn't get much song & dance here - its mostly Ragini's character doing the dancing (to some pretty decent songs, at that). And honestly, while she's just one of the fiddles in a complicated band of fiddles, and doesn't get to do much more than be in love and constantly feel lied to about this love, she does really play the role well.

In the end, there's a nice monologue on the idea of criminality and people not being born thieves and instead falling prey to circumstance and societal issues - and a shorter, but pretty strong rebuttal by the the judge that that doesn't excuse bad behavior. In fact, he's not the only one to make the sort of statement - much earlier. Ragini tell's Shammi's character, during a discussion where he says something similar ("man is not born a criminal, he becomes a criminal out of helplessness"), that "it isn't a sign of character to lay down at the feet of the helplessness; man should fight/rise above that helplessness." This discussion happens even before the shoulder devil/angel sequences, and carries a lot more weight coming from her, as we later learn that, at least according to the 'better than thou' rich heiress, this dancer is not worthy - in fact, heiress not only refuses to talk to someone of her status, but also calls her a 'chudail' and tells Shammi's character that he is better than them and should associate with such folk - she may also face that level of helplessness, but she's gotten through her life without turning to criminality.

We also have a comic side track with Johnny Walker, that maybe only barely reaches the point of 'comedy' (he does get a decent song though); instead, it is mostly him, and whomever the other guy is, and even, in one scene, rich heiress, just yelling at others loudly (not at all funny), and a bunch of overt and implied fat jokes, so it isn't all perfect.

But it isn't overall a bad movie, and it does a decent job of trying to get its main point - about both criminality and helplessness - across, both in the early going as a prelude of whats to come and in the end as a "conversation" between accused and judge. All-in-all, not a bad movie.

[getmemymicroscope]

Double role Amitabh Bachchan; Zeenat Aman; Neetu Singh; our typical run of bad guys - Madan Puri, Prem Chopra, Sujit Kumar; and our common players from the time who are sometimes good/sometimes bad - Utpal Dutt, Iftekhar. And yes, in spite of all this - so, so boring.

The cliché of 70s/80s Bollywood is obviously there - the humshakals turn out to be long-lost twin brothers (that they didn't even remember they had), for example; and, of course, the actress being total damsels-in-distress at the end, even with Zeenat Aman's character, to that point, being completely competent on her own (same can't be said for Neetu Singh, because her entire personality is "I fell in love the minute I saw you [and showed up on screen]").

But the story spends A TON of time on Jai pretending to be Vijay and Vijay pretending to be Jai - to progress their love stories with the girls that were "meant" to meet the other one of them: Jai was meant to go meet and marry Neetu (his "father-like" "partner" had the desire to usurp her father's supposed wealth), whilst Zeenat was meant to go and meet Vijay to stop him from completing his task of apprehending bad guys. Both of these tracks are emphasized by very 'meh' songs that just add to the run time before the characters are finally able to revert to themselves as the globe-hopping (well, Europe-hopping) continues. The truth finally comes out, to them, about being brothers, and they're able to team up and fight the bad guys (but this again takes forever, because it has to happen twice).

Not a fan of this one at all - it never reaches "good" and it is much too serious and blah to ever reach the types of zany entertaining that a lot of movies from those times end up being (for example, Amitabh's Mr. Natwarlal, which released the same year). Even the "thriller" aspect that you'd expect from this type of story (double role/mixed identities, spy story, etc.) just struggles to ever pick up because of how nonchalantly the movie paces itself. Also, for a movie entitled "The Great Gambler," there is very little gambling after the first few minutes - though they do spend a lot of time at a placed called "Casino" (no, literally, that's the sign on the building - no name or anything); most of the 'gambling' they talk about after that is just Jai speaking metaphorically.

[getmemymicroscope]

Through some combination of songs (from Rajkumar; from Ek Musafir Ek Hasina; from Mera Saaya; from Woh Kaun Thi?; from Love in Simla) and movies (a couple from above, though Ek Musafir Ek Hasina remains on the 'to watch' list), Sadhana has become one of my favorite actresses from the times (also: Asha Parekh; Waheeda Rehman). Just absolutely love her - see, especially, her in the songs Aap Yuhi Agar (EMEH) and Aaja Aayi Bahar (Rajkumar). Throw in a the idea of a 'revenge thriller' movie, and I was all in.

Of course, watching this YEARS after the fact - and having seen enough of the "since then" Bollywood (this movie released in 1969) - means that none of this is really shocking, twist-wise (not even sure it was then, but maybe). But now, it's all pretty predictable: mother's death when she is in jail (though, apparently she waited until the day of her 'early release for good behavior'); her relationship with Ashok Kumar (or vice versa), and relatedly, the cause and outcome of Ashok Kumar's enmity with Rehman; love triumphing over revenge and "the woman's heart" (not my words) meaning that she was bound to essentially give up this revenge mindset and decide on becoming the dutiful daughter-in-law.

Which, honestly... well, okay. The movie takes a minute to get going, but once she re-meets Ashok Kumar's character, things sort of speed up (by which I mean, they skip ahead a couple of years). But once their quest for revenge starts off - with a pretty good song - things get entertaining, and her "haha I'm drunk" song is a joy (to watch; the song itself was apparently nominated for awards, but it wasn't my favorite in this movie - see above in this sentence - and isn't even my favorite "I'm drunk" song in the movie - see his song, a bit later). But obviously his dedication to his love to her wins out, in the end - after some craziness with attempted acid-in-cake (or something like that?) that was going to somehow fix everything for the 'bad guys' - wins her over. Which, I guess that's the point of the movie - he even tells us earlier that revenge is not good (in more, and more eloquent, words), but as a pure 'revenge' thriller, it is a bit of letdown because it ends in a very 60s/70s Bollywood-ish happy ending. Which is fine for this story, but I would also have loved the opposite - this same story, but where she isn't won over by a guy who is essentially like "I know my father's falsely accusing you sent you to jail when you were innocent, and resulted in your mom's death, but you're now the daughter-in-law of this house and you should be dutiful to our name and also I love you" doesn't sway her over. At no point does he even ask his father about "what the hell did you do to her" or reproach him or show any sense of understanding to why she feels the way she does - he just judgmentally tells her that revenge is bad.

(Again, I get the message of the movie - but also, you shouldn't be able to fuck with Sadhana and get away with it.)

Again, a couple of gemacious songs - my picks are Geet Tere Saaz Ka and Jo Unki Tamanna; Kaise Rahoon Chup is good, but I'm not a huge fan of the "drunk"-type songs that involve weird voice inflections (and in some cases, like this one, 'hiccups'); and, of course, everyone knows Aa Jaane Jaan - and the presence of Sadhana essentially make up for that lackluster ending, the occasionally wacky swings from serious revenge thriller to something much less, and a hero that really just has to show up and act rich and spoiled and judgmental (and gets the girl just by being in love, and then sad when she doesn't love him as much as she wants revenge for being wronged and for her mother's death).

Intaquam is a solid revenge thriller for about the middle 70% of the movie. Good enough. Good fun.

[getmemymicroscope]

I'd never heard of this movie before, but during my Wiki'ing of Sujit Kumar (during the watching of Ram Balram), I randomly came across this. "Spy thriller" it said, so I figured why not. Further Wiki'ing, during the course of this movie, shows that Mala Sinha didn't win a Filmfare Award for this. Or, frustratingly, for any movie. Bullshit.

Anyhow - Mala Sinha from the minute she shows up here (smiling stalker) to the very end (I guess she survives?, though it really seemed to be playing like she wouldn't, before very Bollywoodly cutting to a song at the end) is the absolutely everything in this movie.

She rules every scene she is in - and you want more of her whenever she's not on the screen. Sure, at the end she gets sent away with the kid by Dharmendra so that he can fight everyone by himself, but before that, she's the one doing the spying, she's the one launching a rescue mission to save him, she's the one singing a couple of damn excellent songs. Mala Sinha absolutely nails it.

For the first 80% of the movie, this is the best 1960s Bollywood movies I've seen. Then, suddenly, it turns into an ear-grating, nerve-grating, everything-grating drama-fill shitshow. Specifically with the sister - sure her son has been kidnapped and she's being forced to help the baddies to save him and she's just heard that her brother has died - but her morphing into a melodramatic whine queen gets a baddie killed and then, because everyone has to keep her from being stupid, allows the captured baddie to eat a poison kill and end her life without telling them anything. Then, when the climax hits, somehow she (and not the army that is there to help the good guys and stop the baddies!) is the first one done into the cave, allowing her to be even more annoying dramatic and yelling multiple, multiple times. Hell, it felt like I was watching the companions of the First Doctor all over again. It was just too much and absolutely killed what was otherwise a top-notch movie. Don't get me wrong, its still great - but that ending keeps it from being truly "best"-level quality. Full on screech happy for way too much time. (The only other filming flaw was them trying to intercut too much of Mehmood's comedy, which just threw off the pacing too much.)

Story wise, there's one major flaw (beyond the sister/mother getting to enter the bad guy's lair first). The bad guys, when communicating via radio, use pseudonyms (African Tiger, really?) and then communicate via some weird morse-code like device that gives them random images. It doesn't make sense practically, but theoretically you get what they're going for. And it is all in code (at least the first level; the second level is less so, but we only really see that the time that the machines obviously stop working so that the good guy's plan can go on without much of a hitch). The good guys, meanwhile? They use monikers when first calling/receiving, sure - but then immediately announce all their plans without any tricks or metaphors or hidden clues or anything. Like, if they were going to go pick up the world-saving pencil, the bad guys would use some weird clue that could only be translated by their inner workings; the good guys, meanwhile, would be like "I'm going to go dressed as a princess to the factor where the pencil is and then we're going to take the pencil by blinding everyone with bright lights." And then they wonder why they're constantly getting foiled. Idiotic execution of the plan, guys. No wonder your agents keep dying.

Mala Sinha rocks this movie. And both 'Milti Hai Zindagi Mein' and, even more so, 'Gairon Pe Karam' are abso-fucking-lutely fantastic. My ears still need to recover from that melodramatic finish, but beyond that, I'm so glad I came across and watched this movie.

Oh, speaking of finding it via reading Sujit Kumar's Wiki - he shows up, gets to be in some sort of double role (he plays 2 characters, though we never see them on screen together) and gets to introduce our leads to a vital, twisty (but also not there beyond the twist) character, and then disappears until the final minutes. I guess its still more than his role in Ram Balram though...

[getmemymicroscope]

Obviously Sholay is the 'big one' with Amitabh and Dharmendra, with good reason. However, way back in the day of video cassettes and those early-on Hindi channels had the shows that just played songs (always my favorite shows, even more than actual movies most of the time), the songs of this movie have lived rent free in my head. Because they're fucking amazing - all of them.

Ek Rasta; Humka Maafi Dai Do; Yaar Ki Khabar; Ladki Pasand Ki; Ab To Ram Hi Jaan Bachaye - not just the music, mind you, but the filming of the songs as well (admittedly, in that end, some more than others). I absolutely loved (and still love) these songs immensely.

So, after much putting off and the recent struggle-bus of trying to find a movie to watch, I finally just said "fuck it" and turned to this. After all - if you're never sure, just find one that has songs you love, so at least that'll keep you entertained (well, except for the modern day movies, where a lot of the fun songs just play over the end credits, forcing you to suffer through hours of bad before getting the song). So, we get to this 1980 flick - released 5 years after Sholay but once again teaming up the lead duo (and, to some extent, Amjad Khan as a bad guy, though his role is much less vital here).

Typical of the 70s/80s, we start of with a Disney-level killing off of the parents (though, importantly, 'no body' comes into play in 1 instance) by an evil sort-of family member (someone who, we very quickly learn, just cares about the money the family has) who decides to keep the kids around and raises them - via fear and threats - to be a cop (Amitabh) and a thief (Dharmendra). And for years, they've done his bidding. They grow up and Amitabh returns from police training (yay, Ek Rasta!) and now he wants them to join/take on the smugglers of the country (that's a good thing, right?). But of course things go from there - they fall in love (yay, more songs!), old faces return (Helen!), the inconsequential bad guys play small roles before dying (Sujit Kumar, who really only shows up to ogle during 1 performative song and then have a long fight sequence across a field before dying; Prem Chopra, who at least gets multiple scenes before he drives a car off a cliff and has it burst into flames; slightly more time for Amjad Khan, who ends up also dying in a car), there's a very minor laugh track (thankfully not overdone like 90s Bollywood went crazy with) with a police inspector (of course, most of the fun just comes from our leads) - and eventually the truth of who killed their father is going to come out. Cue overly dramatic fight sequence on a ship and, to cap it off, a very poorly green-screened escape of all our good guys on a raft.

Sholay, it is not (though, honestly - I like the songs here much better). But its still enjoyable for the majority of its 2 hour, 45 minute run time. And the songs keep you going early on, and the tunes come back at various times at background music just to remind you. It never goes full bonkers - beyond sidelining so many typical 'main villain' actors - and also, thankfully, isn't as heavy as Sholay (sometimes, you don't need to leave a movie crying), but it is entertaining. And that's good enough.

[getmemymicroscope]

Wow, as crazy as the first one was, this one was even more so. (Maybe even to beyond-absurd levels.)

What amounts to emotional blackmail (and threats of lawsuit) bring our two leads back together - Anna's character as a blogger-turned-author (fresh off of sleeping with Blake's husband and all the truths we learned about her and her brother and her father and her husband and her kid) being coerced, at her own book reading, by Blake's recently-released-from-prison character to be the maid of honor at her upcoming wedding. In gorgeous Italy, of course, because Blake has found herself a man who apparently has ties to the mob.

But, of course, nothing is simple - on top of Anna, who still isn't sure why she is there and if Blake is planning to killer her, we have Blake's ex-husband (again, the guy who slept with Anna as well), and a very unhappy to-be mother-in-law, and two uneasily-at-peace warring families, and, just to add to the fun, Blake's mother.

And, of course, things quickly go to shit - the ex-husband, a full-on drunkard now, ends up dead ('accident,' of course, because no one is going to blame such a big family - though we, of course, know better, partially because we saw it happen). And that's not even the beginning of it - things get every more crazily fucked up after that. More deaths, crazy twists, and what might be the worst FBI agent ever.

Of course, it isn't even the crazy twists that really get you - it is the story Blake tells towards the end, and the ending bits. Like, just fucking bonkers, whomever came up with this story. (Also, the Tiberius locale death scene just looks crazy fake, to the point of being hilarious - hopefully this was intentional, because otherwise it is definitely a scar on this film.)

I wonder what's next: Yet Another Simple Favor, or whatever. It'll probably be equally bonkers and ridiculous - but clearly that is what this story is going for. And it feels like they've achieved it - which, congrats to them. Let's bring on the 3rd one!