#this happens every now and then btw i looked it up last year and apparently its been a problem for users for OVER 10 YEARS

[lisxdumbr]

The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah

[starfilled-galaxy]

screaming im trying to make funny shitpost but my ipad is doing that dumb thing again where it refuses to save images as transparent and i REALLY need this one thing to be transparent for the joke to work lmao

[livefastdriveyoung]

Every team has a first and second driver. It is just that not every driver fulfills the role in the same way.

At Aston Martin we know Fernando is driver one. He is the more experienced driver, and right from the mouth of Lawrence Stroll himself, was brought in to make Lance a better driver so he could one day be the first driver. He does media, he's funny, and he also clearly has a mentor/mentee relationship with Lance.

I call this the mentor/mentee set up

At Mercedes, we know that Lewis is Driver one. Based on titles certainly, age almost definitely, and also because he is Lewis Hamilton. Until February, and even after, when you think Mercedes, you think Lewis. He is their better driver. He won six championships with them. He's stayed longer than most drivers stay on the whole grid. It is his through blood, sweat, and tears. George is the prince, he's set to inherit, potentially (BTW TORGER, I would like a word), and has a lot to live up to. Comparisons are hard, especially when the first driver is Lewis. I think that it's a forced proximity set-up, but they are friendly. Mostly off the track because on track they do not have their greatest moments.

I call this the King/Heir Apparent set up

At Red Bull, we know that Max is Driver one. Aside from the championships, he is just too fast. Every time one of the other drivers who drove alongside him was brought up to Horner or Helmut (YIKES to both), they would compare where they raced to Max. It is unattainable, and isolating. Until Checo. Checo didn't think he was going to be able to drive after BWT. He didn't have a contract, he was a middle of the pack driver, Mexico's son, and his story was supposed to end there. The Red Bull contract was a dream, but for all of the weird behavior some of y'all have with him (again, he's had his problems but the racism and idiot syndrome some apply to him is also NOT OK) he's not an idiot. He knows he's on a limited contract, he knows he's no spring chicken. Hearing him talk about next year, he knows he's very likely out of a contract. But he doesn't let any of this impact his relationship with Max. They are teammates, Checo will do what is best for the team. Max's whole world is predominantly driving. Checo has more of a balance, and in some ways, allows Max to be young.

I call this the Sibling set up.

At Ferrari, Charles LeClerc is Driver one. He is il Predestinato, the second coming, Monaco's prince. He can do no wrong. Carlos Sainz is the second driver. In spite of the fact that he got dropped from the team, in spite of the fact that he has won them two races, he is the one that is being pushed out. But he and Charles are friends, and teammates. They've driven together for several years now. Ultimately, while Carlos has done most of the heavy lifting on his side of the garage in terms of strategy and driving, he is also the one who knows when to walk away from the fight, when to stop letting yourself get hurt by the team that should be defending you. For Charles, Ferrari is a promise to Jules, to his father, to himself. He cannot walk away. In some way, Carlos can. That's why he makes the good second driver. The second in command is the one that sees the whole picture, including the first in command, because they never look at themselves.

I call this the friends/us against the world set up.

At Mclaren, driver one is Lando Norris. An indefinite contract, the sponsors, the adoration, Lando is the golden child. But Oscar is too, sort of. They're both young, both incredibly talented. But they're young. They're doing this together. McLaren went from disaster to top of the pack last season, and they're both on this ride together. I think McLaren is going to do whatever it takes to get Lando his win, but then I think they'll split 50/50. What will happen then, I don't know.

I call this the to soon to tell set up

At Williams, Alex Albon is so clearly driver one. Last year, he scored the majority of the points, they signed him for an extended contract, and they're desperate to keep him for 2026, when the car is supposedly going to be insane. Logan is the second driver. Alex wants to be the mentor, and to some degree he is. But Logan's narrative from last season to this season has shifted dramatically. Less and less people want to see him gone, they like the American. Williams renewed him. Whether because of sponsorship or genuine interest in his improvement, I don't know. But, in the last two races, they have managed to tank Alex's reputation, and boost Logan's. You don't publicly destroy your second driver's confidence, and career potential so publicly and walk away clean. We've seen it with Red Bull and Pierre, and Alex. Both times, those two drivers walked away with insane support. Logan is now receiving the same, but I wonder if it is going to make a difference. I think that Logan talking about what is best for the team is what is keeping him going, but if you watched the newest Team Torque, you can see fatigue and some tension between him and Alex. I don't know if it is jet lag, or work, or stress, or damage to the relationship. But this is a driver relationship on a razor wire.

I call this the Icarus set up

At Alpine, it is Pierre. He gets away with murder, at least by the team. Esteban has certainly mellowed a little, but he calls Pierre out still. However, they are both miserable with the car this year, so I think they are probably commiserating. The fact they can work together after years of rivalry and blatant hurt between the two is interesting. I think that both of these men have racing above all on their heart, and they will do whatever it takes to stay there. So for now, they suffer in the car, and they are colleagues.

I call this the "there's no other choice" set up (aka forced proximity)l

At Visa CashApp, there's currently a power struggle. Daniel is Daniel. He's been second driver for a few years, he's been third driver. He's got the popularity, though it is waning, and more importantly, he's got Christian Horner's support. That, plus the fact that the team talks about Daniel's presence being about helping them improve, makes him sound like first driver. Except, Yuki has been First driver for years. He's the one who stayed through the revolving door of drivers. This is his team. Honda pays the majority of his salary. So when you bring someone in, someone who doesn't even want the seat as much as he wants the Red Bull seat, the seat that should be yours, you're not going to go down without a fight. It creates this weird tension, but then Daniel is like "I know how lucky I am to be here, I'm focused on driving here," and is already being threatened with losing the seat like Nyck was, and Yuki realizes he might never get the Red Bull seat. So you have these two guys who are fighting for the same thing, that doesn't want them.

I call this the Alone Together set up

At Sauber, it is Valtteri. He has won gps, he's former Mercedes, who used to come second usually only to Lewis. He's funny, older, a weirdo that people love and feel they know. Zhou is younger, he's dealing with the pressure of being China's only son, and the higher expectations of him. Valtteri helps keep him young and focused. He's been through the wringer, and he's teaching Zhou that it is not going to be what breaks you.

Also Mentor/Mentee except the mentors are nuts in a different way

I don't know what the hell is going on at Haas.

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

I saw you wanted some ideas for Leon so here’s mine: you’re hiding with him in the RPD from Mr.X in the stars office, and the more you talk the more you realize you’re into each other. A small make-out session turns into something more and Mr.X becomes your last worry.

Btw, I loved your recent Leon fic :3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ I found this in my drafts with a few paragraphs written and decided to finish it. I'll start the year with a smut, haha. Thank you, anon for the idea, and I'm sorry I made you wait 🙏❤️. I hope you like this 😊. I wanna write more about him, so keep the requests coming! Also, your feedback is appreciated ❤️.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader

I take commissions so if you're interested check my Ko-Fi. ❤️

You were both panting as you barely escaped the monster that was chasing you relentlessly all night. He was tall and strong, and bullets didn't kill him. From the distance, it looked like a normal person given the simple outfit; he was wearing a hat and a trenchcoat, both black, but from up close, he was rather scary due to his grey skin and dead eyes. The height also added to the intimidating factor.

How did he end up dressed that way? You asked yourself as you saw him kneeling on the ground. Leon just emptied a clip by shooting his head. Apparently, bullets stop him for a bit, giving you a chance to run. Still, you couldn't help but be amused by his attire.

"Who the fuck gave this thing a fedora?" You asked quietly as you passed near him. "Like, it has to be custom made or something? Look at the size of its head…"

"Probably, but I think we have more important things to worry about right now."

You hurried outside the library and never stopped running. They just kept coming… from all directions. You tried blocking some windows, but it was useless.

All this time, you followed Leon's command, as he seemed more collected, even if he was just a rookie. You had a hunch that he was trying to impress you, and you had two reasons. One, you heard him curse like a sailor around the station before meeting him—something that didn't happen when he was with you—and two, you caught him staring at you a few times. He'd looked away every time you turned your attention to him, but he couldn't hide that smirk.

"This way," he whispered as he gently closed the door behind him.

"Where to-"

"Shh," he said, pointing to the ceiling. Your face turned pale at the sight of the horrendous creature that was crawling. Its sharp, long claws tapped on the surface as he walked on all fours; its brain was popping out, and he didn't appear to have any eyes. Terrified, you froze in place, but Leon grabbed your hand and guided you into the corridor.

"Just watch your steps, ok?" he whispered again in a soft voice, trying to soothen you. "Don't look at it; you'll be fine. Just stick with me."

With steady steps, you made your way to the STARS office and closed the door behind you. Leon pressed his ear on the door, and once he heard the licker crawling away, he told you that you were safe.

You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn't realised you were holding your breath until now.

"Good. Listen, do you mind if we rest a bit here? It's too much cardio for me," you joked.

"Sure, I could use some rest too."

The STARS office was clear, and you found supplies too. Some medicine, ammo, food, and water felt like a gift sent from God. There was also an armory, but it needed to be unlocked from the computer. A reminder that your work is far from done. Still, you tried to enjoy your small break. Leon was sitting at one desk from the edge, and you were sitting next to him. Behind you was a nice brown leather jacket, which you considered taking, but it was too big to fit you. The team's belongings were intact, making you wonder why they closed the unit so suddenly.

"Where do you think they are? Do you think they are safe?" you asked Leon, who was busy starring in the blank.

"They are probably doing better than we are. Those guys were elite."

"I think we're holding up pretty well, considering you're a rookie and I never touched a gun."

"Yeah…you almost blasted my brains back then," he chuckled.

"I'm sorry about that." You said it soflty and gently squeezed his forearm as a sign of comfort. "But you burst through that door, and I panicked."

"It's alright," he said, smiling. He smoothly slid his arm to the edge so he could grab your hand. Your fingers intertwined quickly.

"Thanks for the quick lesson, tho…it came in handy."

"No problem, you're a natural," he winked, which made you blush.

"Yeah, but I kinda had a great teacher."

"What can I say? I work best under stress."

You both chuckled. A short pause followed, in which both of you just stared at each other. Leon wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to praise you for being so brave and for taking care of him; he wanted to tell you how lucky he feels to have found you in this mess, but he didn't know where to start.

"You ok?" you asked, seeing that he got lost in his thoughts again.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I was grateful for having you with me; that's all."

"Really? For a moment, I thought I slowed you down."

"Me slowing you down? You're faster than me. You actually left me behind a couple of times."

"Oh, that? I thought you did that on purpose...just trying to get rid of me."

He chuckled.

"Nah...I never wished to get rid of you. I really like having you around." He said.

"Me too..."

Neither of you let go of the other's hand.

You both stopped talking. Your smiles dropped and your eyes closed as you leaned forward towards each other. Soon, your lips touched over and over again, filling the room with faint sounds of kissing. You were both shy at first, but Leon got more courageous and came closer to you. His hands found your waist, and you cupped his face, prolonging the kiss. Soon, you felt Leon's tongue trying to find yours, and the kiss got a lot more intense.

Not carrying about Mr.X and other threats, you climbed onto Leon's lap and continued to kiss him with the same passion. Now you were closer to each other as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his big arms around your waist, hugging you and keeping you close.

It shows that Leon craved this kind of affection and intimacy from the sweet whimpers that came out occasionally.

"Wait…" he said as he broke the kiss. "I know a more comfortable chair…"

You didn't know what he meant until he suddenly stood up while managing to carry you and went to Wesker's office. He was a strong fella.

On his way, he never ceased to kiss you, becoming even more eager.

He sat on Wesker's chair, which was more comfortable and much bigger than the previous one. Since your legs had more room to rest, you had the strength to roll your hips over his crotch, letting out small, deep whimpers as you felt his bulge growing between your legs.

His hands squeezed your flesh as they ran along your waist. His muscles relaxed under your precise movements. His needy whines filled the room as you kept moving faster.

"Y/N…" He whispered shyly, breaking the kiss for a few seconds before coming to taste your lips again. He felt his cock throbbing in his pants. He wanted you; he craved you. It was unbearable.

You felt the same way, and your cunt was throbbing with excitement as you thought about him inside you…he felt…big…

With fast movements, you took your pants off, and then you proceeded to strip him off. His cock jumped in the air once his boxers slipped past those big thighs of his, and oh, what a sigh it was. He was long, thick, and leaked heavily in front of your eyes. You watched how a droplet of his precum glided along his length, making you drool. His tip glistered as it was basically drenched in his own juices.

You teasingly tapped his tip with one of your fingers, which made him whine loudly.

"Y/N…" he said, his attempt to maintain his composure being obvious.

"Shh. Just stick with me." You said this, looking at him with siren eyes.

You climbed back, one leg slidding next to him, and the other followed slowly. You raised a bit and aligned yourself above his tip. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you began to descend slowly and gasped when you felt his cock entering inside you. When he felt himself inside you, he pulled you again in a passionate, eager kiss.

Moans and whimpers filled Wesker's office quickly. You let out sharp, deep exhales as you took more and more of him. You struggled a bit at first, but both of you were so wet that after a few thrusts, you slid up and down with ease. Leon moved his hands to your ass, squeezing your cheeks hard with every throb of his cock. Not only did you feel him leak inside you, but you also felt how he rubbed that sweet spot inside you. It was pure bliss, which turned your mind foggy.

He also thrust his hips from beneath you, matching your own rhythm. You allowed yourselves to sink deeper into each other's touch without being bothered by what was happening out there. The kiss became messier, the touching more intense, and the thrusts more erratic as you chased your own release.

However, Leon felt that his time would come sooner, so he lifted you spontaneously and placed you on the desk, knocking down everything that would make you uncomfortable. Was that too loud? He didn't care.

"You are so strong, officer." You teased him and gave him the same dirty look, enjoying how that made him visibly weaker. He rolled his eyes and lowered his head a bit to the side, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

His cock was halfway inside you now, and his arm rested near your head. With a deep breath, he began to thrust inside you, and he maintained eye contact this time. His face was still red, but not because of embarrassment, but because of how good your cunt made him feel. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper.

His pace was slow at first, and he didn't go all in. It was pleasant, of course, but you wanted more, so you gently pulled him closer with your legs.

Understanding your intentions, he went all in, his balls constantly slapping your skin with each thrust. His breathing became faster, and your moans became louder as he finally hit that spot inside you again. When he picked up the pace, he placed his big thumb at your clit and stroked it fast. You felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and your throbbing cunt gave him a clue that you were about to cum.

"Leon…don't stop…" You said it between whimpers.

With his final strength, he went even faster with both his thrusts and strokes, and finally, he felt your wall clenching around his cock. With rolled eyes and curled toes, you grabbed his forearms as the orgasm hit you hard. A few seconds after your climax, you heard his moans getting louder. Then you felt hot spurts of his cum filling you up fast.

Both of you were trying to catch your breath now. Leon collapsed on top of you and allowed himself to indugle with your gentle touch for a few moments. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his tired body, with one hand playing with some strands of his blonde, smooth hair. The other caressed his back.

His nose was buried in your neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that your body provided.

"I never thought I'd get laid on my first day as a police officer," he muffled, making you chuckle.

"Well, I bet you never expected a zombie apocalypse either."

"To be honest, if you would've asked me a few days ago which was more likely to happen, I'd go for the zombie apocalypse."

You chuckle again.

"You need to be more confident, Leon." Your fingers moved to his nape. "You're a great guy."

Once he felt your feather-like touch, he sighed with satisfaction.

"Oh yeah, just like that."

You began to massage gently. All this time, he remained inside you, and neither of you protested.

"You like that?"

He let out an affirmative hum.

"I'll tell you what," you began in a soft, calming voice. "When this is over, we keep in touch and go on a normal date. To get to know each other, you know?"

"Sounds good, but we need to get out of here in one piece…"

"Hmm…yeah…let's do that then."

He pulled out eventually and helped you get dressed.

You slowly made your way out of the STARS office, then made your way further into the station, looking for a way out. Now you look at the situation with a little more hope. Maybe it's because of the sex, or maybe you realised you have someone to count on. Who knows, but one thing is sure: you lived to go on your first date.

Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @skylar-todd@rokurodokuro@brownsugarwrites (if you want to be added DM me 🤗)

[multiverse-of-fanfic]

For the @drarrymicrofic prompt (Jun. 9): Dreamlover by Mariah Carey (HAPPY 30 YEARS TO THIS SONG BTW) 455 words (forgive me, it’s not very micro but oh well it got away from me)

Draco watches Harry down a third shot of Ogden's. He might be impressed if he wasn't so on edge.

"I can't believe it's happened again," Harry says on an exhale, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. "There must be something wrong with me."

Draco can't help but scoff. "Don't be absurd. There's nothing wrong with you. Well, other than your dreadful sense of style and inability to keep your beast's nest of hair tamed.”

Harry attempts to level him with an unimpressed scowl, but it comes across rather wonky and constipated-looking, vibrant green eyes the only part of it bearing any intensity. A lick of heat flares to life over the expanse of Draco's skin.

Giving up with a hiccough, Harry traces the rim of his glass with a lazy finger. “I really thought this time would stick,” sighed Harry, “but apparently I’m the type of bloke that takes eight months to realise his boyfriend is having him on.”

A sneer threatens to twist Draco’s face, but he’s just barely able to keep it simmering below the surface. It had taken every ounce of his willpower to stop from storming Grimmauld when Witch Weekly’s Summer Lovin’ issue had dropped with much fanfare, and Harry’s faux-beau had said Harry’s favorite dessert was tiramisu.

Now, he lives with a daily urge to confess his feelings to Harry. Feelings long harbored, long stoked, and long lasting. Because Harry deserves someone who won’t use him for fame or flee at the first sign of hardship. Because as much as Harry is The Boy Who Lived and The Saviour, he is also the nightmares Draco knows he still has about the war, and the flicker of shadow that crosses his face every May.

“Harry,” Draco says softly, setting his own glass to the side, enveloping Harry’s hands within his own. “There is nothing wrong with you. And there is someone out there for you. Someone who is everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Harry gazes up at him from under a curtain of raven black fringe, tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth. “Why can’t they just come get me and take me away? I’m tired of looking.”

Draco swallows dryly. “You never know. They could be right in front of you. All you have to do is see them.”

Ambient sound from the pub spills around them, but they are nothing more than a distant buzz when Harry looks at him intently, the world narrowing instantly. Draco has spent a lifetime observing Harry, knowing him…loving him. Understanding him and what he needs. There is no greater expert on Harry Potter than Draco Malfoy. Something has got to give, and he only hopes that this time it does.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for taking everything I can from a former friend?

I 20 met this guy J 24M last year through a mutual friend, and since we happened to live in the same neighborhood we hung out more. For context, during this entire time I am/was also supporting an unrelated person financially, so I need every penny and have way less than J.

J has borderline personality disorder and does not go to therapy. I don't want to vilify anyone in the same situation, I'm just bringing it up because J's bps deeply impacts every aspect of his life.

He'd been going through some tough times, with his love life going to shit, cutting off his toxic family and having to find his own apartment etc, so I helped him often.

Since neither of us have much, we shared stuff regularly, e.g. he'd buy me food sometimes and I gave J my skateboard, among other things. I painted his walls & decorated, because I have the skill necessary and he doesn't. I went out to look at furniture with him. I asked my parents to give him furniture they were selling (he got it free). I frequently went to his place in the middle of the night, whether he had splitting migraines or thought someone had tried to break in. I helped him organize a Christmas party, even though he cancelled it because he got angry at someone or something. I cooked for him a few times (he doesn't cook). I let him use my washing machine after he moved into his new apartment without one, even though he owned a cat so all his clothes were covered in cat hair and I have a severe cat allergy, meaning I couldn't do my laundry normally & sometimes it came out with cat hair no matter how hard I tried (this lasted 8 months and would have gone on indefinitely if not for following events). Btw I did all of this without asking for anything in return.

Earlier this year, because of his ridiculously high expectations, he dumped his best friend at the time (the mutual friend), and assigned me his new best friend. After a few months, they became friends again anyway but I kept the "best friend" title.

In July, he hurt his dominant hand during an angry outburst. I was there when it happened but he seemed fine at the time. When he came to do his laundry the next day, Sunday, he told me that his hand was sprained and we talked about how he'd need to see the doctor the next day. He agreed to go. He promised to go to the doctor.

I know he's not good with going to doctors, especially on his own. So I texted him the next day and asked if he'd already gone. He responded "Nope, don't feel like", and upon asking why, he said that "it'll heal on its own anyway". Which to me read as 'I don't care.'

This pissed me off. I blocked him. I planned to unblock him once I'd calmed down, probably in a few days. I was really upset about this because it happens regularly. Him not going to the doctor when he should is a pattern, a bad pattern. He's gotten me sick that way.

The next day he texted my partner, asking if I was okay. They explained that i was upset at him for telling me he'd go to the doctor but then not going. He blew up at them that it was none of my business anyway whether or not he went to the doctor. Whined about his medical anxiety (which is valid but wasn't the point). Said that the sprain was healing so he didn't have to go. They argued for a while until my partner got tired and stopped responding.

Apparently I am now no longer his friend. He asked our mutual friend to tell me to pick up my stuff. I'm busy these days, so I haven't done it yet.

When I pick up my stuff, it's gonna be a whole list of things: a seat/cushion, a stovetop, 75€ worth of comics, a measuring tape, the skateboard, a box. I'll also bring him laundry detergents that are laying around at my place still.

Now WIBTA if I ask him to also give me pain medication to replace all the meds I gave him and money for the furniture I got him for free at the time (I'll ask 40€ even though they're worth more)?

What are these acronyms?

[josefavomjaaga]

"All those promises have gone up in smoke..."

As mentioned several times already, when Eugène in June 1805 received that glorious post of Dork on Duty Viceroy of Italy, he did so quite unexpectedly. And while Hortense casually mentions that Eugène being elevated to such honours had caused quite some "humeur" in the family, in particular from Murat, the freshly chosen viceroy himself was equally exasperated at being thus abandoned to the hostile Lombardian wilderness left alone in Milan.

He actually had received Napoleon's promise for two trips to Paris every year. We know what became of it, the first time Eugène would return to France was in late 1809, to see his mother leave the Tuileries. If he already suspected as much or not, in any case he also, before the French court said Arrividerci and returned home, demanded from everybody who would listen that they absolutely needed to write to him!

At least that is what can be guessed from a passage in a letter to his sister Hortense, dated Monza, 9 August 1805. (There is a -minor?- caveat to this letter: it's not an original, but apparently a copy, from a notebook in Hortense's possession. The original seems to be lost. A caveat because I have already seen in other places that whoever put together these copies, and for whatever purpose - yes, I am looking at you, Madame la Reine! - in some cases has taken quite some liberties with the original text.)

[...] Would you believe, my sister, that since I took leave of Mama she has not written to me or even sent me any news of her? You wouldn't believe the pain it's causing me. She cried so much when she left me, she told me so many times that she would lose her only support […]

… and then someone showed her the latest fashion catalogue on the way back to Paris and everything else was forgotten. Come on, Eugène, you should know your mum by now.

But it's not only her.

[...] Madame de la Rochefoucauld had promised to write to me. Bessières was supposed to write me a line every morning; I have only received one letter from him so far. Clarke never sent me a word. In the end, all those promises went up in smoke. My good Hortense, Lavalette and my friend Duroc are the only ones who have not forgotten me. [...]

His righteous indignation at such treatment clearly audible, echoing through two centuries. And it is indeed a bit astonishing to see Eugène, who had been generally well-liked, even admired during the Consulate, so quickly abandonned to himself. Maybe it's just how royal courts work, or at least how Napoleon's court worked: if you are not there, under the eyes of the Master, you're unimportant.

Or maybe Eugène, 24, out of his depth with his new task, overwhelmed with work he was not used to and did not cherish much, desperate at having to displease somebody whatever he did, exaggerated. A little. His desperate pleas would seize rather quickly a year later, after his marriage.

But there's still some time to go until then. And before it happened, best buddy Bessières who had promised to write every morning and now could not be bothered, surely would hear an earful!

Milan, 24 July 1805 [...] It is very wrong of you, my friend, to write to me so little, to forget me like this, and to not answer my letters at last. Every officer or courier returning from the great army has been questioned about your health and each one tells me: Marshal Bessières sends you his compliments, he will write to you with the first courier. And they all arrive with the same message. You have no more good reasons to give now that you are in Paris, so I commend myself to your friendship. Your faithful friend Eugène N

Your faithful and rather pissed-off friend, I might add. [Emphasis in the original text, btw, underlined] Eugène doubles down on it the next day:

Please be convinced, my dear Bessières, that the only soothing tonic I can have is news from you; I am flattered that I will already have a few letters on the way, which I will soon receive, and this idea sustains me.

However, it takes until 19 August until Eugène finally can tell Bessières:

At last I have received a letter from you, my dear Bessières. I confess I was beginning to think you had forgotten me. If you had promised me less, you might have kept more. I will write you a note every day, you told me; and I had only asked you for one a week, and that one, without fulfilling my friendship, would have satisfied it.

Bessie for once being a true Gascon, talking big and promising much, apparently.

Don't tire, my friend, of writing to me and thinking of me; I need to know that the people I love have not forgotten me. My lot is a fine one, no doubt, but it cannot stop me from regretting, and regretting very sincerely, my former life.

As we do not have Bessières' letters, there's no way of knowing what excuse Bessières gave for not writing as he had promised. Maybe the friendship always had been a one-sided thing and much stronger from Eugène's side, and Bessières was secretely relieved to be rid of this overly excitable oversized toddler he had been babysitting for so long? Though, admittedly, that would make me sad.

[jae-is-trying-to-write]

A Different Path AU: Chapter 1

-Author's Note: Sorry if any of this doesn't make sense or if there's any grammatical errors, I am always sleep deprived so most of what I say doesn't make sense, btw I will add tw's for chapters that require them, if I ever forget please let me know!!-

Macaque knew it was a bad idea, he'd tried to subtly let Wukong know his opinions on the matter, they should've been more direct, Wukong never was one for subtlety.

Macaque watched and listened helplessly as Wukong surrendered to the Celestial Realm in exchange for the freedom of Macaque and the rest of brotherhood.

Macaque tried to make a portal to him but his magic energy was exhausted, so he ran, he ran as fast and as far as his legs could take him.

"Wukong!!" Macaque yelled, Wukong turned to the direction of the yell of his name.

"I'm sorry Liu Er." Wukong whispered, knowing Macaque would hear him. Macaque ran faster, desperate to reach Wukong in time.

But he wasn't fast enough, next thing he knew Wukong had vanished, as soon as he did Macaque collapsed to the ground in despair. He stayed there in shock for an unknown amount of time, he didn't do anything more until the rough winds of the empty battlefield brought a yellow object into his line of sight, it was Wukong's hat.

That's when he began sobbing, he grabbed onto the abandoned hat and held it tightly in his arms. They felt like they couldn't breath, as more and more tears streamed down his face.

Macaque wasn't able to stand up for several more hours, when he finally did get back up, the sun had already set, reminding him once again of what he'd just lost. He stood up and hat in hand portal-ed back to Flower Fruit Mountain...alone.

---

Macaque was pissed. The brotherhood apparently was so stupid that they thought Wukong had betrayed them!! [Excluding DBK, who was nowhere to be seen.] Wukong had given up his freedom in exchange for theirs and they had the audacity to accuse him of betrayal and refused to hear Macaque out or even think about helping him rescue Wukong.

Macaque was now completely alone. He laid on the ground looking up at the stars, which made him feel more alone since Wukong wasn't there to excitedly gasp every time a shooting star passed by.

Macaque had been laying there for a while when his ears picked up a familiar voice, well voices. It was his own voice and Wukong's voice. But he didn't remember the conversation, Macaque was hit with a realisation of what happened.

On occasion he'd accidentally listened to the future and he had done so just now. If he was talking to Wukong in the future then that meant that-

Macaque made a decision at that moment, a vow really. He was going to leave to find Wukong and he wouldn't come back unless it was with his husband at his side. He even told that to the little monkeys, promising to return their king to them before leaving.

And that was the last time he would see the mountain for 515 years.

[ga-yuu]

Things we learn about Rikka...

These are all the facts I learned from reading his past story with Tamamo and 1st chap of Ibuki and Kurama sequel. Rikka route isn't out yet btw. I'll keep releasing new facts and cute moments as I read the next chaps of Kurama and Ibuki's sequel.

Rikka and Tamamo were best friends. Their friendship started even before they were known as some of the strongest demons of Japan. Tamamo knew Rikka since he was a kid. So it looks like Rikka is younger than Tamamo.

Rikka is from the Yukijoro clan. There are basically different clans within the Otherworld/Demon world. There is the Fox clan, Oni Clan, Tengu clan (which doesn't exist now) and now the Yukijoro clan consisting of Yuki-onnas.

Rikka is basically the male equivalent of Yuki-onna. In the Yukijoro clan, it's all women. These Yuki-onnas, go to human village, find a man to have sex with, gets pregnant, gives birth to a baby girl and comes back to their clan. Sometimes, some of these Yuki-onnas would even kill the men they had sex with by freezing them to death.

Within the Yukijoro clan, like I said consists of only females, but every 100 or 1000 years, a baby boy could be born. There is no guaranteed, but a chance. That's how Rikka was born. Rikka doesn't seem outcasted by his clan, he's more of a loner and an introvert. Also unlike Yuki-onnas who's only mission is to trap men, have sex with them and get pregnant, Rikka's mission is something else. We don't yet know what it is.

Tamamo only knows very little about Rikka. He only knows what Rikka tells him and nothing more. Tamamo also doesn't want to look into Rikka's business because Rikka has a habit of disappearing without giving a word. So he fears that Rikka might disappear on him forever if he were to look into Rikka's business.

Tamamo was also feeling exhausted and wanted leave his clan. So he asked Rikka if he wanted to run away with him so they can be with each other forever. Rikka, at that time, rejected the idea because he cannot seem to let go of his duties and missions unlike Tamamo. I didn't get this part!

When Rikka tries to say goodbye, meaning that this will be the last time they meet, Tamamo held him back saying that he didn't want Rikka to say 'goodbye'.

After meeting with Tamamo, when Rikka returns to his clan, which is on the north most side of the Otherworld map, one Yuki-onna, who was hired to keep an eye on Rikka saw Rikka meeting Tamamo. When confronted, the Yuki-onna suggested that they must team up to kill Tamamo, Rikka threatens her with a smile - "Try it, I dare you. If anything happens to Tamamo, I'll freeze the whole world." (I think Rikka really loves Tamamo. I think he's bisexual)

In the sequel prologue, we see Yoshino run towards the Shogunate because there is a meeting among the SHogunate members, the Rebel members and the Imperial Court trio. While running, suddenly from the corner of her eye, she noticed something black in the dark alleyway. She noticed a man sitting with his head down. Thinking that he might be sick she approached the man to help him. That man was Rikka. Yoshino was stunned by his beautiful face and Rikka touched her with his cold fingertips. Rikka was sitting in the shade because he couldn't handle the summer heat. Rikka thought that Yoshino approached him to have sex with him and Yoshino denied it immediately. After making sure he's all right, she walks away quickly.

Rikka on the other hand, remained in that alleyway and smiled while watching her go. The rest of the prologue is not changed.

Later in Kurama and Ibuki's sequel chap 1, after the whole meet and greet with the hentai monster and getting hero's might, the whole gang were walking through the forest towards the Shogunate to plan out their next move. Suddenly the surroundings became all foggy and Yoshino gets separated from the rest. Ofc guess who catches her? It's Rikka.

Rikka hugs her without her permission and Yoshino's body was feeling all cold. Because Rikka is cold. Rikka apparently doesn't know what 'giving someone some space' means because he was touching her cheeks and was checking her out.

On the other hand, the male leads realised that Yoshino was mission and Ibuki sensed a demon's presence. Soon they all started feeling cold and Tamamo feels a snowflake on his cheek. The fog starts to disappear and the male leads found Yoshino walking towards them with a man hugging her from behind. lol

Tamamo recognised Rikka and Rikka also recognised Tamamo. Tamamo thought Rikka was dead, but apparently Rikka went into lockdown for 100s of years and he came out because he missed Tamamo. So he came all the way to the human world despite the heat and found Yoshino in the streets. He realised that she had Tamamo's scent on her, so he followed her and found Tamamo.

Rikka was quiet jealous that Tamamo made many friends while he was in lockdown.

Tamamo explained everything that's happening and Rikka asked if Tamamo really wanted to help humans? Tamamo said yes, because he thinks the other male leads as his friends. Hearing that Rikka decides to join them and give them a helping hand. We don't know what are his intention behind this.

Everyone was suspicious about Rikka but since he was Tamamo's friend and keeping a demon under a close eye is better than having him do whatever he wants somewhere else, everyone agreed to bring him to the OKURA PALACE HOUSING COMPLEX, rent-free.

As soon as Rikka entered the Shogunate, he rushed to the shadiest corner of the meeting hall because he feels hot and sits there. Tamamo also joins him happily and everyone decided to leave Rikka in Tamamo's care because Tamamo knows him better.

Rikka is cute man!

[queen-of-elves]

Under the moon

Steven grant x fem!reader

Soulmate AU

Epilogue

Summary: You always thought you were alone, without a soulmate, but the universe loves surprises.

Word count: almost 3K

Warnings: sweet but very angsty? I tried lol, some swearing etc.

A/N: Y/S - soulmark of your choosing, I didn’t want to choose a soulmark that represents Y/N. :) btw the timeline is way off and apparently I don’t care about it so

P.S.: to this day I am still thinking about Soulmate AU w Bucky Barnes (read it at least 5 years ago)  where reader is only soulmate of Winter Soldier, so this is sort of inspired, and for the love of me I can’t find the fanfiction, therefore if someone would be so lovely and let me know if you recognize it from my poor summary.

Since you were born, you were one of the unlucky few, without a soulmate, without your second half. It was not that bad actually, not that bad as everyone tends to imagine. You can’t really miss something you don’t have, what you actually never had, can you?

Where everyone's wrist was decorated by a mark of their soulmate, something that represented them on a personal level, you had a blank space. Where your wrist was meant to be grazed by ink and color, there was absolutely nothing. It never really bothered you, you had your little quiet life and that was enough for you. Living in a world full of superheroes and aliens kinda does that to you.

However, from time to time the realization of your situation overwhelms you, hits you really low, just like now. One of your friends, Marcy,  invited you for a celebration party of them finding their soulmate. It happened like in those romantic movies, or that’s what she tells everyone. One look and they knew, didn’t even have to check their soulmarks. 

Lucky.

Marcy and Tom were adorable; you couldn’t deny it, all heart-eyes and little kisses. And yes, there was joy in your heart for them but the sting of jealousy every time you saw them was apparent. Heavy on your chest was the sadness you were meant to carry alone for the rest of your life. 

The thought of soulmates started to consume your mind more often then you have anticipated after the announcement from Marcy. You expected to think about it from time to time, sure, the whole world was obsessed with them after all, but you? Not so much. However, Marcy constantly posted and talked about her amazing relationship with Tom even though they met just two weeks ago. And it just pissed you off. Never ever have you felt like this, even in middle school where kids happily showed each other their soulmate marks, leaving you feeling bad about the blank skin, or in college when everyone started to meet their soulmates. 

This party is going to be a nightmare. Fuck. 

***

The party was worse than a nightmare, even though you love Marcy to death, she was insufferable. Clinging to Tom the whole time and everytime the conversation wasn’t about them she would gladly navigate it back. You suppose that’s how everyone with a newly discovered soulmate acts, they are their world afterall.

You have spent the rest of the party hiding away from her, because you could handle talking about soulmates only to some degree, and drinking, happily and heavily drinking! Alcohol often makes you warm and fuzzy so why not now, you had needed that to cheer you up. 

And at the end of the long night Marcy couldn’t let you leave, probably after seeing you mix gin and tonic into a big bowl and then putting a colorful straw into it. Sometimes you were not really proud of your drinking habits... 

So after everyone left, Marcy told you to go sleep on her couch, draped a blanket over you and put a bucket next to your lying form. It sort of reminded you of one of those sleepovers you used to have when you were both in middle school. 

This would have been a magnificent last thought before closing your eyes and going to sleep if it weren’t for the annoying tingling sensation on your skin.

If she has bed bugs on her couch, I will kill her. You thought, opening your eyes and vigorously scratching your arm while you sat up. And when the haze dissolved and you could finally turn your focus on your wrist. You couldn't believe your eyes. 

Soulmark, your own soulmark. One second there was nothing and now a crescendant shape was adoring your wrist in a black outline. The waxing crescent staring at you in its hollow beauty, insolent mark of universe on your life. 

“No-,” you stared unmovingly down at your arm, whispering softly as if saying it louder would erase it,”-way.” You felt like breaking down, now of all times you have a soulmate? Were they born now? Or did they lose their soulmate and the universe assigned you together? So many questions and even the internet could answer only a few, plus Marcy’s wifi was shit so it took a horrendous amount of time to find anything. 

But in the end, even the palpation in your chest had yet to stop and tears kept on running down the slope of your cheeks, when the thought struck you. You had someone you were meant to be with, a SOULMATE.

***

The revelation of having a mark happened a few months ago and nothing has changed since, crescendant moon mark still on and slightly less mocking by now. 

You had quite the thought about it and you decided that it was… fine, just fine. People have soulmates, it's a thing, so it's… FINE, right? Yeah, you were kinda panicking about it. 

Why now of all the time?

Also was London always so cheerful? The stereotypical image of gloomy streets with a rainy haze contradicting the one you were rushing through. It was late afternoon and the streets were buzzing with people, the veins of the city working steadily, keeping the whole organism alive. Maybe your mood would be better if the weather was gloomy, if people were all irritated and nasty. Then it would make more sense for you to be annoyed with your life. 

This one time the universe decided to listen to your wishes, a harass push sent you flying backwards, stumbling into the person standing behind you, both of you tumbling on the dirty pavement of the bus stop. The gravel scraped one of your palms but otherwise your fall was cushioned by the person behind you.

Universe just couldn’t give you a break, it seemed. 

“Oh my, you alright? Let me just-,” hand extended to help you up with your tote bag already picked up and dusted off in the other.” help you up. There.” The sting in your palm distracted you from any further examination of the extended arm in front of you. And before you could blink again, you were at your feet with your silly little tote bag bestowed in your hand. Well almost-, your knight in shining armor noticed scraps of gravel entombed in your skin and a tenuous stream of blood trickling down, before he could hand it to you fully. “Oh my, that looks nasty.”  If you haven’t realized before, now you have, his voice was the sweetest thing ever, like it was wrapping you in a blanket and shushing you to go back to sleep, that kind of sweet. 

God, do I have a concussion? At this idea you jumped away from him, giving him quite the scare. 

The realization hits you quite slowly, soulmark, your soulmark was grazing his tanned wrist and intertwined with Y/S. Oh, so there he was, your soulmate.

 It took him just a few seconds to come to the same conclusion and now his eyes were bulging out of its sockets, staring bewildered at your mark, while his mark was peeking from under his coat’s sleeve. 

This was it, wasn't it? The moment in which you absolutely knew that no matter what happens you can't get on without this feeling. You felt so warm and happy like never before, as if you had seen the sun for the first time. Was it the same for everyone or was it just you? Maybe it was a no-soulmate-before thing and to experience being in the presence of your soulmate was just too much for those like you. Your heart was beating very fast, sprinting miles to nowhere… was it also normal? All of this seemed so unusual. Perhaps you were dying, cardiac arrest is always on the table, isn’t it?

And then he smiled and all of it got more intense, more sunshine in your life, the warmth spreading through you now scorching your insides and you couldn’t get enough of it.

He stood slumped, the coat hanging on him, trying to hide his figure completely to unwanted attention, but still framing him in your adoring gaze as the most handsome man in the whole vast world. 

“Please be real.” Whisper left your lips before you could register that your mouth opened. This  seemed to brighten his mood even more, your comment not weirding him out at all. As if for him it was an acceptable norm, to doubt the existence of human beings standing in front of him.

************

“I don't understand it. So we got magically assigned together? Aren’t soulmates designed from birth?”

“I am just as stumped as you. Honestly, all of this is a bit bonkers!” He exhaled as if out of absolute relief, contradicting his words.

You and Steven were now sitting on an ugly painted park bench near the bus stop. And while the conversation was not smoothly pacing as you had anticipated and in your nervous state you kept peeling off the chipped green paint from the metal bench, Steven was very polite. He told you his name right after the two of you labeled each other as real people, not just a construct of your lonely minds (and lack of sleep in Steven’s case). 

And now that you had time to fully look at him, you deemed your soulmate as the most handsome man in the whole world. Dark unruly hair falling into his eyes seemed too fluffy to your liking, maybe it was the need to touch it that made you lovingly hate it. You really loved to look at him, as if he was a piece of art even though his posture was never changing, clothes hanging on his frame as if trying to hide him and oftentimes it seemed as if his tongue was not adjusted to speak in such a way.

He fits perfectly in your life but in his, in some odd way he seemed to struggle to adjust.

So, from your first interaction with your soulmate you have gathered only a little information, obviously his name, the fact that he works in a gift shop in the National Art Gallery and his undying love for Egyptian mythology. As the conversation moves on you have yet to check off any of the boxes in your red flag list, so far so good then. It also did not end up with just Steven talking about himself, he asked you a ton of questions (he later apologized for it ‘cause he felt like he was simply intruding) which not a lot of guys do, based on your narrow experience with blind dates and stuff like Tinder.

And as time flew by you realized Steven’s lovely brown irises never left you, not even for a split second did his attention shift, as if in his eyes you were the sun. Well he for sure was in yours, warm and light gifting sphere, from now on the center of your universe. 

**************

It has been weeks since you have met him and so far everything was going great, more than great, Steven was nothing but sweetheart to you but still there was the milestone of spending a night at one’s place was still yet to be crossed. When this question first came, Steven seemed hesitant at the idea of spending the night at someone else’s place or maybe it was about you. Maybe he was hesitant about you spending the night as his? 

You basically mutually decided that this part of dating could wait, there is no race to be won so why to rush it, right? This seemed to soothe the worry rising in both of you. And there were other bridges to be crossed so you both turned your attention to them. 

Steven was a sweetheart since the start of you two, could you actually call it dating tho? Neither of you have spoken out about it, setting in the borders of the relationship. Yes, objectively speaking how you spend the time with your soulmate would be sorted into the category of dating but neither of you have called your meetings a date yet. It was nerve wracking, simply dancing around the topic in every conversation, you trying not to make him uncomfortable and Steven in the same position but on the opposite side. 

You couldn’t take it anymore and you were done being anxious over something so silly. So you took the first step and texted him.

You thought that the giggling and kicking your legs in the air era was done by the time you turned 20 and apparently it was not. Keeping your excitement over him was too hard for you to contemplate over even attempting at it. Steven just made your heart buzz with a newfound energy.

It was impossible to imagine someone else as your soulmate, it was even more inimaginable to try to picture someone more perfect than the lovely museum gift shopist. ‘Cause Steven’s never ending politeness sometimes caught you off guard, he opened doors for you, bought you flowers and even sweet little pastries from the expensive bakery near his flat. You could not fathom how he could be insecure about himself, every single woman you knew would have died for Steven of their own. 

You couldn’t imagine someone more perfect, maybe because Steven was just the definition of perfect.

**********************

You were in ecstasy, you finally sort of convinced Steven to spend the night at your place. Fully innocent idea of movie night with the hope of it turning into a some kind of sleepover. He didn’t seem so eager but movie night sounded too good to his ears for declination. And yes, you two had the deal and all, however it’s been almost three weeks and the impatience in both of you started to rise to the surface.

Everything was ready, finding the movie Steven talked about last week was the only and the biggest obstacle in your journey for a full night with Steven as a company but even that you have successfully conquered. 

Nothing could have stopped you now, nothing could have ruined your excellent mood tonight. Well, there was one thing, this feeling that something terrible was on the horizon, a sort of hunch that something was not quite right. You tried to push it deep inside, to not think about it but the feeling persisted. So you kept busy, waiting at first patiently for Steven’s arrival and then very impatiently pacing the floor of your flat, still keeping the appearance of being busy. Checking if you had his favorite tea in the cupboard, enough popcorn or inspecting the cleanliness of the coffee table on which you have placed snacks for you two. 

He was late, he always was a bit late, well, he was always late and usually it was not a bit. Waiting sort of became your strong suit after meeting Steven, so you sat down on the sofa checking your phone to see how late he was. 

And then you saw it, a bad omen. This had to be a nightmare, was the universe playing a cruel trick on you? Has nothing of it been real? Had you only dreamed of him the whole time?

No, it was real. Your still dirty beige tote bag laying on the kitchen counter strengthened the conviction of your senses that the encounter with your soulmate, and he, himself, were real. However your wrist was now bare, disproving all of it again. You felt nothing though, no pain in your wrist, absolutely nothing that would indicate change.

You were positioned at the start again, fresh clean start insisting that nothing happened, so what if you imagined him and the soulmark the whole time. Nothing changed, you could never feel lost for something you never had, right?But you had him, he was yours and he was real.

Shivering from the sudden drops, cold like ice, rolling down the sides of your neck and staining your sleeping shirt, you realized how this thought process was wrong. All of it was wrong. You felt him, it had to be real, you shouldn’t doubt his existence.

You felt stuck. Skin petrified in the momentum where you could still doubt if the universe was having a laugh over you or if all of this was just a big misunderstanding, somehow.

And only the moon now stands to you as a companion, looking down at you from the dark night sky and casting every surface in gentle glow with the soft light passing through the room, reflecting on every metal.

So under the light of your only faithful companion you weep for your lost love. The universe for sure loved being cruel.

[theflyingfeeling]

so yeah, I went to the BC signing session at Nokia Arena today, because what else would I, a full-grown adult with a respectable dayjob, do on a wintery Saturday if not stand in a queue freezing my toes off surrounded by sugar-high teenagers for hours, just to exchange a few words with some band dudes? 🤡

(wrote this for me as to remember at least something about it afterwards, but you may read this as well <3)

The queuing part was every bit as shitty as it always is when queuing to any BC event really, but I was in high spirits and great company who were polite enough to laugh at my shitty amazing jokes 🥰

Niko was so soft and nice and aaaaaaaaaa the way he laughed so heart-warmingly at the silly (practiced) thing I said?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I want to put him in my pocket <3

So when I was a kid I used to collect stickers (this is relevant, trust me), especially dog stickers because dogs are cute, and I happen to have a full page of dachshund stickers that look exactly like Rilla, so I thought I'd give Aleksi a couple of those, and the other day I jokingly checked my local supermarket's sticker selection to see if they have any more fun stickers I could give him, and lo and behold I actually found some cool Spider-Man ones, and naturally I JUST couldn’t help myself 😂 and awwwwwww the way his entire face brightened up and he went "NO WAY!! 🤩" when he saw the dachshund ones aaaaaaa 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭 he said he'll put them on his laptop where he has also collected other stickers 🥺💞 I gave them in a Minigrip bag so that he hopefully won't lose them before he gets home (see the picture below for the stickers)

Aleksi’s hair looked super fluffy btw 🤲 you're welcome for this crucial information

The last time I saw Olli at a signing session I was so blown away by his beauty that I could barely speak a word to him, so this time I was determined to actually have some sort of a conversation with him, and I did succeed, even if we only talked about the weather (my go-to conversation topic) 😂 it's difficult to translate the Finnish word tarjeta, but basically I asked him how's the weather been in Oulu, and he said it's been cold ("Mites Oulussa on tarettu?" "Kylmä on."), but apparently he actually likes cold weather, my reply being "well I don't you fucking weirdo &lt;3"

Joonas heard this intellectual exhange of opinions and put in his two cents as he told me how they had recently visited Oulu and that it had been significantly colder than in Helsinki 👍

Also, as you may have seen from pictures by now, he was wearing no shirt under his blazer and yeah, I may have taken a good look at his rug while he was signing my totebag 👁️👄👁️ In my defence, he had it out for everyone to see, so where else was I supposed to look? His eyes? 🙄

At that signing session I went to in Stockholm last year (see the link above) I didn't manage to say a damn thing to Tommi lol (I blame Joel and Olli), so that was my other goal for this time and yaaaay, success! I didn't say much to him though, just "hi" and "ah darn, is that bloody marker not working? and here I thought I had bought a good one" ("Olin ostavinani hyvän tussin")

For context: I had brought my BC totebag (which I bought exactly 2 years ago tomorrow and have used maybe twice during all this time) with me for them to sign, and as I wasn't sure if they'd have fabric markers, I had gone and bought one for the purpose myself, and I had tested it (on paper) at home, but I guess the cold weather had affected the ink, so it was working quite poorly. They all did manage to scribble down their autographs though, and the extra time it took for them to do so offered me some extra time to chat with them, which was nice actually 🤭 (hehe sneaky meeee)

To Joel I said the new song is great ("Helevetin hyvä se uus biisi"), which he was pleased to hear. He gave me back my totebag but not my marker, so I had to ask for it lol, to which he said his brain was not working properly anymore (felt 💀), to which I said that at least he hasn't been standing in the freezing cold for hours, to which he said: "yeah, you're the actual heroes here" and hell yeah we are lol, I wouldn't do this shit for any other band 😌

Then he tried to give me the autograph card of the next person in line dfdggdgdgddd poor Joel, I guess his brain really wasn't working

Afterwards my mouth was SO dry from talking so much in such a short time lol, but I was happy I got to say most of the stuff I had wanted to say to them. I was planning to show Aleksi a picture of our family dachshunds like I had done in Stockholm, but with all the hassle with the marker I kinda forgot about it (I kept grumbling about the shitty marker to literally all of them except Joel), and anyway I didn't want to slow down the queue any more than I already was 🙈

After the signing session we had pizza and went to the local Christmas market that just opened today and I bought some organic coffee beans for my brother for Christmas, so all in all I had a lovely day (ignoring the cold-as-balls weather) 🥰💞

here are the stickers I gave to Aleksi:

and here's my freshly-signed totebag (why is Olli's autograph so cute 🥺)

(I know it looks like there are some strange stains on the tote but there really isn't, as I said I've barely ever used it, so I guess it's just the fabric doing a weird thing in that lighting)

[relicsongmel]

you should. tell me your thoughts about ray shields

OH GOD OH FUCK OKAY IF YOU INSIST. I hope you’re ready cause hooooo boy do I have some for you HERE WE GOOOO

Where the hell do I even start. Raymond Shields…my ray of light. My hotshot wonder. My weirdgirl king. I guess before anything else I’ll tell you about how this man absolutely blindsided me—Uncle Ray put your friend Mel through a turnabout of her own and she’s gonna explain how it happened so buckle in. I’ll try to make this as coherent as possible but I need you to understand this man has way too much power over me and a single fleeting thought of him can melt my brain into mush so. Apologies if this comes out as completely nonsensical it’s his fault not mine

I’ve been in the Ace Attorney fandom for a little over a year and had a couple of things accidentally spoiled for me as a result (some of which was my own fault, admittedly) but when I started Investigations 2 last September all I knew about Ray was his name and (sort of) what he looked like. Like a lot of English-speaking fans, I was initially put off by his portrayal in the localization. This immediately stuck out as odd to me because my personality is such that I don’t have a lot of characters I genuinely dislike, especially if they’re part of the main cast—even if they’re not my favorite I can almost always find something to love about them. It made me wonder if maybe some of his quirks got lost in translation somewhere (and I did find out later that this was indeed the case), but I didn’t actively seek out that information at the time for fear of being spoiled, so I just suffered through the early parts of The Imprisoned Turnabout doing my best to ignore what I perceived as questionable behavior on his part.

However, if I’ve learned anything from my time in this fandom it’s that nothing in Ace Attorney is surface level—one of my FAVORITE things to do when playing this series besides voice acting the characters is figuring out what makes them tick and speculating character motivations as the game progresses using the little hints scattered by the writers here and there—I was already somewhat intrigued by Ray’s apparent grudge toward Miles but when the revelation of his partnership with Gregory dropped my brain immediately went BRRRRRRRRR. I started wondering what that experience of working for him was like and how it affected him (and if his unwavering loyalty to Gregory was related to his grudge toward Miles). I started exploring the whole WEB of parallels between him and Gregory and Miles and Phoenix and Mia and Maya and Kay (and probably more but those are the main ones). I fell in love with the beautiful mentor-student relationship he developed with Miles, even if in the moment I was baffled by the weirdly flirty things Ray sometimes says to him (like the line about swapping clothes in the Winter Palace. What the fuck was that about sir) and VERY confused/worried about whether Miles had met him as a child or not (I still don’t know/can’t remember if the game ever gave us a concrete answer on this btw—if any of you know please do enlighten me). And above all I knew—I KNEW that he was hiding a boatload of trauma regarding the DL-6 incident; made even more clear to me by the contrast between his teen and adult selves once I got to The Inherited Turnabout. I knew he was using humor as a mask to hide the pain of what happened. I knew from the fact he still had Greg’s old coat and wore his hat every day that he hadn’t moved on. This, I thought to myself, is a deeply emotional man deathly afraid of emotional vulnerability haunted by the ghost of a loved one. And let me tell you, as someone who’s been in a similar position myself, to say that really struck a chord with me is an understatement.

AND THEN THE THIRST. Oh boy. If I’ve sounded really eloquent up until now that shit’s about to go out the goddamn window because SWEET MOTHER MARY I AM DOWN SO BAD IT’S EMBARRASSING. I recorded my playthrough starting from Chapter 2 (just for fun—I’m not nearly brave enough to post any of it on the internet except maybe some short clips here and there) and you can literally see the clear turning point I had after hearing his Objection voice for the first time. I started making innuendos left and right (IT’S NOT MY FAULT his dialogue lends itself really well to that sort of thing ok). In true Ray Shields fashion it started half as a joke but devolved into absolute chaos. This coupled with the fact that I was slowly but surely becoming more invested in the inner conflict of his character? I was beyond saving at that point. No hope for me. Nothing left but to leap into Uncle Ray’s arms and let them wander where they will. “Ride that stallion into the sunrise,” as it were. I could go on but quite frankly the things I want that man to do to me (and what I want to do to him) are too unholy for this world so I’ll leave it there.

And that’s the story of how Raymond Shields permanently infected my brain. It’s been an absolutely wild ride but I hope you enjoyed the journey—glad we can share our love of this silly disastrous emotionally repressed paper-eating man together <3

[lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers]

Apparently, on twitter, there are some people still unaware of the massive teacher shortage in England and Wales. It does affect some subjects and some geographic areas more than others, so let’s talk about it and the impact on kids and the impact on wider society.

And you can see here, teacher recruitment in 2022 was down on every measure: https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/initial-teacher-training-census

Teacher retention is also in a dire state- according to the DfE, nearly 20% of new teachers quit within just 2 years, whilst nearly half leave within 10 years. Meanwhile, NEU surveys show 44% of all teachers are considering leaving the profession in the next 5 years- see here: https://neu.org.uk/press-releases/state-education-profession

These surveys also show more and more schools having unfilled vacancies for teaching or support staff.

What does this actually mean in practice in the classroom?

In 2019, pre-pandemic, I was looking for a new science teaching job. I went to a few interviews, and found a job relatively easily, but all of the interviews I went to had a good field of applicants, and it didn’t seem like vacancies were going unfilled.

Last year, I worked in a school who had a vacancy for a science teacher. We advertised throughout the year, and it took 2 terms to find a suitable applicant. I left my job at that school, and got a new one on the first interview I went to (this is not because I’m amazing, I was the best of a bad bunch, as it were). My job, unfortunately, was not filled for September. Colleagues teaching maths and MFL (among others) also left at the same time and their jobs weren’t filled. Another vacancy was filled with an ECT who would be moving to the area but she couldn’t take up the post due to not being able to find anywhere to rent!

There will be areas of the country where teachers read this, and think actually, it doesn’t look so bad!

I know schools in my county and in the city where I used to work who now have no qualified physics teachers in the school. I know schools making timetable adjustments to ensure all students get time with a qualified science or maths teacher. I know of PE, English, History teachers teaching science or maths. I know of schools where I’d estimate 10% of the workforce is long term supply (who, btw, can just walk out one day and not come back). I know trainees being offered jobs in November of their training year for the following September.

Out of curiosity I keep an eye on teacher vacancies in my county- I’m seeing the same ones being advertised over and over since September. There’s currently over 20 vacancies being advertised for “as soon as possible” starts.

And certainly forget about finding maternity cover for a lot of subjects- teachers have no need to take temporary contracts at the moment!

So, what does this look like for the kids?

It means they get a string of supply teachers, who may change week on week. It means not being taught by subject specialists. It means if their teacher leaves part way through the year (and teachers do) there is almost no chance of that teacher being replaced, and no spare capacity to juggle. Schools try their best to “protect” exam classes, but it doesn’t always happen.

These kids get poorer quality lessons, often little marking/feedback, and run the risk of missing bits of the exam syllabus. Often, they don’t get to do practical work in relevant subjects, or the practical work they do will be more limited. HoDs are stressed sorting cover, and their own classes get neglected. Teachers go off sick with stress, and the class gets a few weeks of cover (or maybe more if things are really bad).

It also means that kids go without form tutors- that first point of pastoral contact- and they might end up feeling like there’s no-one they can go to if they have a problem at school. (I know some kids feel like this anyway, but not having a form tutor or regular teachers can make things feel worse).

In primary schools, it can look like classes being covered by unqualfied TAs. I don’t want to criticise TAs at all, they are amazing BUT they do not have the training a teacher has, and they are paid much less, so usually won’t do planning or marking in the same way- which I don’t think ends up being great for the kids.

Ultimately, teacher shortages are at their very worst in subjects like science and maths, although they are also bad in MFL, Geography and increasingly English. I am not one of those STEM > everything people, but we do need engineers, doctors, HCPs, biomedical scientists, chemists, environmental scientists, and so on. These are the people who build our infrastructure, take care of us when we are ill and develop new treatments, and ultimately make our lives better. If we don’t have good education in these areas, it is a major problem for the country.

Anyway, this is a very long post to say “things are crap in schools right now, and this is why teachers are striking”.

[fainthedcherry]

IT'S TIME TO FINALLY ABBACCHIO POST. I was spending several weeks just gathering all the times I've drawn Abbi!!! :>

A LIST OF WHAT DRAWING IS MEANT TO BE WHAT:

1TL - First time drawing Abbi, just exploring his design basically in my artstyle

2TR - SECOND time drawing Abbi (doodled a bust outta boredom at work again and realised how fun he is to draw from then on)

3MDPPR - Doodle of Abbi and Moody Blues in combat, bc his ASBR hand poses RLLY intrigue me, SLAY ABBI SLAYYY SO I referenced that pose when he URRYA's but FRONT perspective

4MDPPR - I then last second wanted to fill my empty page w/ another doodle of Abbi getting harrassed by the Sex Pistols to wake Mista up midst his makeup routine bc I felt like making a cute doodle ;v

4MDGTL - Drawing a dream I had almost a week ago, I only finished that drawing yesterday bc I was so sleepy the past 2 weeks I didn't pick up the pencil much in result T-T

4MDDGTL - JUST REDRAWN MY FAVOURITE MEME. In case unaware, this is referencing the Samuel Johnson painting. Idk why, but that painting is just so perfect and I've doodled Abbi in response to a message to my friend Hart LMFAO (you got my permission to repost this one btw memes are made for sharing imo so go ahead for that piece in particular)

BTM L & R - 2 more boredom doodles! One at work, one at school when the teacher didn't give us clear instructions on what to do so the entire class including me just sat there and procrastinated bc he's that bad of a teacher 💀

RAMBLING ABT THE FULL ART PROCESS ON EVERY PIECE BELOW;

TOP DRAWINGS. I WAS DRAWING ABBI AT WORK BC I WAS BORED AND IT WERE SLOW DAYS W/ NOTHING TO DO IN MY DEPARTMENT THAN SIT AND CHECK INK TANKS. I then realised, how much fkn FUN IT IS TO DRAW HIM. I always loved Abbacchio's design, even 3 years ago, when I was still in high school and freshly watched Golden Wind in its peak popularity smwhr, with an over-active fandom that fed me SO many funny Dio parenting Giorno memes. NOW that like 4 of my friends and apparently EVEN MY BOYFRIEND like Jojo, I'VE BECOME MEGA OBSSESSED AGAIN JUST LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. AND DAMN AM I GLAD I AM BC ABBI IS THE FIRST CHARACTER I PROPERLY AM FINALLY EMBRACING MY CRINGE ERA OVER. Side note but the rhyme actually I came up from the top of my head randomly when I thought abt him (and sobbed over his backstory once more my poor donut victim) I used to be afraid to draw ANY fanart at all, bc I was afraid, people would HATE my takes on characters I love - but now that I'm older and I basically dgaf abt what people have to say abt me and my tastes, I finally dared take a step into fanart territory and braved myself into drawing my fav depressed blorbo.

MIDDLE DRAWING - PAPER DOODLE. AH YES. THE DOODLES THAT TOOK 3 SCHOOL WEEKS NOW BASICALLY, 8HRS OF DRAWING BETWEEN LESSONS EACH. I was shaking SO HARD on a certain week, and the classmate sitting next to me POUNDED THE TABLE A LOT OUT OF BAD HABIT. I SEVERAL times ACCIDENTALLY in panic always yelled "BE CAREFUL!" until I was done re-tracing Moody Blues's sketch to clean it up properly 😭😭😭, ABBI LOOKS OK. NOT PROUD OF ABBI. BUT DAMN MOODY BLUES KINDA SLAYS. (Disregarding its funky gummy hair not connecting back to the shoulders which is somth I only now know after staring at Abbi and MB for HOURS to study how to draw them properly)

LOOONG PARAGRAPH AHEAD ABT TO EXPLAIN THAT DRAWING IN METICULOUS DETAIL;

MIDDLE DRAWING - THE ONE WHERE ABBACCHIO APPEARED IN MY LORE-HEAVY DREAM. IRL me was in the dream going home from work (late-shift), with a fictional coworker who looked real, but doesn't exist IRL, I forgot her appearance, so she's a grey blob in my doodle of what happened in the dream. BUT as I was walking through a park that VAGUELY, SLIIIGHTLY resemblences my IRL park in my town, suddenly a YU-GI-OH LOOKING FKN PURPLE PORTAL APPEARS. PINK LIGHTNING COMES OUT OF IT. SUDDENLY ANCIENT, BRITISH FKN VICTORIAN GHOSTS EMERGE AND START BALLROOM-DANCING??? <-This was the SECOND TIME. LATELY. I DREAMED OF GHOSTS TRYING TO HURT ME IN MY DREAMS. AND SOMEONE PROTECTING ME FROM THEM IN RESULT TOO THO. BUT. These ghosts were a pretty pastel-pink, tbh they looked rlly cool I might make em world-lore relevant ghosts or something LOL

^I freeze like I do IRL if something scares me and I just stand there and watch?? Suddenly this like British Monopoly-man mfer comes OUT. WITH A MODERN KITCHEN-KNIFE. YOU CAN'T GET MORE BRITISH THAN THAT. THE DAMN GHOST NEARLY SHANKED ME IN THE HEAD. I JUST BRACED AND ACCEPTED MY DEATH THEN AND THERE. THEN FKNNN MOODY BLUES OUT OF NOWHERE ALSO URYA'S THE BRITISH VICTORIAN GHOST SO I'M SAFE.

^ABBACCHIO PROTECTED ME. HE COMES OUT FROM THE TREE AND STARES DOWN THE GHOST. MFER STARES AT HIM ANGRILY BACK, SO THEY SEEMINGLY HAD BEEF IN THE DREAM, BEFORE I EXISTED. AND THE BRITISH GUY MUMBLES SOMETHING, PICKS UP HIS HAT, FADES AWAY INTO DUST LIKE IN MY WORLD-LORE ABOUT GHOST-DEATH. I JUST STARE IN AWE THAT FKN. LEONE ABBACCHIO FROM JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE IN THE 3D-ASBR MODEL LOOKING FLESH STOOD IN FRONT OF MY IRL HUMAN SELF. OF NOTE: I WAS LUCID-DREAMING. I WAS AWARE, HE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST. SO I IMMEDIATELY GET UP, GET WOOZY BC BLOOD CIRCULATION IN MY LEGS SUCK, AND WANT TO ASK HIM IF WE CAN BE FRIENDS. BEFORE I CAN DO THAT. HE GETS ALL PISSY WITH ME AND IS REALLY ANGRY AND SNEERS.

--"You shouldn't be out at this time. Go home already. It's too dangerous."

"WAIT- BUT CAN I TALK TO YOU-"

--"NO. I SAID GO HOME!"

HE WAS ACTING LIKE CANON ABBI AND I APPRECIATE THAT THANKS DREAM, BUT MINUS POINTS FOR NOT ALLOWING ME TO SIMP. SO YEAH I DID RUN HOME AND I LISTENED. MY FRIEND FOLLOWED SUIT CONFUSED ASF.

--"Why were you surprised that he's real?? Did you NOT see him lurking behind the tree?!"

"NO??? YOU DID????" "

--"[GROAN] LOOK."

>SHOWS ME DRONE-FOOTAGE SOMEHOW OF ABBI DANCING W/ A GHOST. THEN I NOTICE IT'S JUST A MOODY BLUES REPLAY AS HIM. THEN. PUNCH THE VICTORIAN GUY. HE WAS SNEAKING UP ON THE GHOST THE WHOLE ARSE TIME AND MY BLIND ARSE DIDN'T SEE IT. SO YKNOW I WON'T MENTION THE REST OF THE DREAM BUT TURNS OUT THE BRITISH POSH GHOST WAS PART OF SOME MAFIA. HENCE THE BEEF W/ ABBACCHIO HAPPENED AND HIM STILL BEING IN PASSIONE IN THAT DREAM IN B4 TRAITORING DIA.

OK ART PROCESS OF THIS DRAWING; INBETWEEN IMAGE AHEAD I HAVEN'T DRAWN;

^THIS DRAWNIG IS JUST AN OFFICIAL ILLUSTRATION OF ABBACCHIO I HAVE EDITED. I DID *NOT* DRAW THAT. That is an official drawing from David Productions / Hirohiko Araki. SO YEAH I DO NOT CLAIM OWNERSHIP OF THIS, NOR HAVE I DRAWN IT. DISCLAIMER OUT THE WAY B4 SOMEONE THINKS I'VE PUT EFFORT INTO THAT DRAWING DONE? GOOD!

I denoted, what might've caused Dreambacchio as I call him, to look like THAT. I was playing ASBR the same night I dreamt of this Abbi, but his model had colouration C. That explained, why his 3D ASBR model yelled at me and ONE SPECIFIC FRAME from the anime. Like I kid you not, IT'S THIS FRAME.

*ONCE AGAIN NOT MY DRAWING. DAVID PRODUCTIONS, JOJO PART 5 SCREENSHOT TAKEN FROM THE ANIME. NOT MY DRAWING. GOOD, MORE CLARIFICATION!!

HE YELLED EXACTLY LIKE THIS AT ME. IN THE DREAM. HIS FACE IS ONE-TO-ONE TRANSLATED ONTO A 3D MODEL OF HIM INSTEAD. IN THAT FKN DREAM. I REMEMBER HIS FACE CLEAR AS DAY IN THE DREAM. Like I kid you not, I am so obssessed w/ him lately, that I remembered PARTS OF MY DREAM CRYSTAL-CLEAR. That is something usually I DO NOT remember 100%, to my friends who know me, they know. SO YEAH TESTAMENT OF HOW MUCH I LIKE ABBI IG.

ALSO of note; I accidentally indoctrinated my friend Kobra to ALSO simp him, and now we're BOTH obssessed w/ Abbi. 😭 The catalyst to her liking him so much tho, is bc I apparently draw him hot??? LIKE IDK IF I DO. IF SOME JOJO FAN FINDS MY DRAWINGS OF HIM HOT. I'M GLAD. I TOO, LOVE DRAWING ABBACCHIO'S MAN BIDDIE-WINDOW. /hj

Unironically, the way he dresses I DREAM of dressing tho IRL....Imagine if I owned that 90's gucci coat Abbi's is based on, and fixed it to suit an Abbi cosplay. SOME DAY. I WILL COSPLAY AS HIM. THAT'S A THREAT. IDC IF BIOLOGICALLY I'M A WOMAN. I CAN DREAM TO BE LIKE THIS MAN. HE IS JUST VERY STYLISH AND I LOVE GOTHS.

--

MIDDLE DRAWING DIGITAL; JUST A MEME I LIKE I'VE REDRAWN TO REPLY TO MY FRIEND. I didn't watermark the panel above bc I traced a few things from the OG portrait here and there. THE PANEL BELOW THO. IS DRAWING WO/ TRACING. That one I watermarked at least bc I HAVE drawn it by myself. Above I was just lazy, sleepy and came freshly home from work, I SLAVE AWAY AFTER WORK, TO DRAW ABBI LATELY OBSSESSIVELY. I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HIM BLAME MY AUTISM DFKLLSDG

Doodles below - also self-explanatory, done in the span of 15 mins. Since our school-PCs have Adobe programs and APPARENTLY Paint.Net I got DEVIOUS and just..The first file that exists on my school-server drive is THIS doodle of Abbacchio now. Using my German tax euro for the right things, y'all /lh

THAT CONCLUDES MY RAMBLES ABT THE PROCESSES OF THESE DRAWINGS I THINK. HELLA JOJO TAGS AHEAD BC HONESTLY I KINDA WANT PEOPLE TO SEE MY DRAWING OF DREAM-ABBI THE MOST TBH. BC HE'S JUST SO PRETTTYYYYY-

I PLAN TO DRAW MORE ABBACCHIO....SO STAY TUNED IG IF YOU ALSO LOVE ABBACCHIO!!!! My art request ears are VERY open, if you want me to draw a jojo character next 👀👀👀 (THOUGH keep in mind, they will be minimal doodles, BC I am spending most of my effort on owed art I have to pay off still!!!!!!!)

HELLA TAG-AVALANCHE AHEAD. FAIR WARNING. I'M SO GLAD THE TUMBLR LAYOUT I USE PUTS THEM TO THE SIDE SO IT DOESN'T DISTRACT FROM THE DRAWINGSSS. SORRY IF YOU FIND TAGS ANNOYING BC AGAIN I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STARE AT MY DREAM-ABBACCHIO TBH...I MIGHT TURN HIM INTO MY OWN CHARACTER OR HELL IF PEOPLE WANT IT...CAN BE SOME FORM OF JOJO AU. BUT IDK IF PEOPLE WANT AN AU WHERE THE PASSIONE GANGSTAR GANG FIGHT A BUNCH OF BRITISH MOBSTERS THAT ABDUCT TEENAGE GIRLS WITH SPECIAL EYES AND HAIR TO A CRUELLA DEVILLE TYPE OF WOMAN.

^YES ONCE AGAIN, WILD DREAM WITH WILD DREAM LORE.

[wellofdean]

So... CONTEXT. Lots of yelling about it in the last episode of The Winchesters, which I am going to keep referring to as Deanception: Into the Deanverse.

For my money, Dean (and his vessel, the adorably shameless fanfic producer better known as Jankles, long may he reign) is recontextualising the end of Supernatural to reveal/create a version of events that makes more sense and more importantly, is more meaningful. I don't remember where I read it, but Jankles himself is not a finale DENIER per se -- he accepts that Dean's stupid death is part of the story -- but he is a finale HATER. He acknowledges that it happened, but he hates it and (100% rightly) thinks it was a shitty, ignominious end to 15 years of story, to which I can only say…

U THINK??????

Like, my theory is that either there was some shit going on on the DL that we did not know about and which would recalibrate what happened, or Dean is time-travelling to retcon the whole thing to recreate his fate, which is apparently a thing I've heard you can do, if the millions of times someone who was a narrative mirror for Dean said it on The Winchesters last week is to be believed. So basically, either we have all been missing a bit of vital context, or Dean needed to make some contextual adjustments to transform it into less of a shit sandwich... or maybe both: there are things we don't know that happened AND Dean is time-travelling from heaven to retcon his life and change his fate.

And seriously, I don't need to tell anyone hereabouts that there are just a lot of things that just simply DO NOT COMPUTE about the end of Supernatch, which make me think there is some missing context -- like, a plan or an existing romance, or some things that happened that we were not privvy to that Jankles is simply shoving into the cracks. I mean... for example:

First and foremost, why was every minute of the finale as fucking terrible as it is humanly possible to make a thing? Did ANYONE involved in that actually think it was acceptable? I doubt it.

Why was everyone's fate like, THE OPPOSITE of what they wanted and deserved? Why did every single character's fate simply ERASE their road so far?

Am I really expected to believe that Dean never did anything to get Cas back? That Jack never asked about it? That Dean told Jack and Sam "He's gone" and they were like... Cool. Whatevs, man. I mean... we already know that Jack CAN (and DID!) bring Cas back from the Empty.

Are you telling me seriously that Dean gets to heaven, and Heavenly Bobby is all, "Yeah, so Cas helped Jack renovate heaven" and like, he just found that out? How does Dean die on a piece of rebar however long after the end of Chuck not knowing Cas is not rotting in the Empty???

Am I supposed to believe that when heavenly Dean supposedly finds out Cas is not in the empty, that he just nods and goes for a fucking drive listening to Kansas on a loop until Sam arrives??? BECAUSE IF SO, FUCK YOU. SERIOUSLY. AND YOUR HORSE.

I feel like there's a lot to work with, and a lot of cracks to patch up. I am looking forward A LOT to how The Winchesters eradicates the dishevelment of literally the worst finale in the history of television. And, I have this delightful, thrilling feeling that it's not about going BACK for Dean, but going forward from wherever he is now, as whatever he is now, into a fate of his own making, and really, can that even begin to happen without Cas?

OMG, SO EXCITING.

BTW, if you want to talk yell about this to another person, ME TOO!! PLEASE INTERACT!! Let's hear all your theories!!

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

For every action, a reaction - Chapter 2 - Acceleration

Pairing: Raven Scientist (Victoria Van Gale/The Raven Leader)

Summary: Taking a step back from our poetry nerds, this instalment focuses on academic research projects, less than legal shenanigans, and most importantly, two coworkers who are smart enough to be geniuses in their respective areas but apparently not enough to confess.

Over the span of two decades.

Seriously.

Somebody has to do something. Before all their students lose their minds.

Updates weekly.

Notes: I didn’t want to think up a new name for Raven so eh. Now we’re all using his nickname. Which is Raven. bc I said so. Btw, the end of this chapter happens on the same day as Carpe Diem’s chapter 7. They were planned to intersect all along, so if you like CD, maybe it’d be nice to go give that a re read for the context :)

Read it on ao3: (Carpe Diem verse) (previous chapter) (this chapter)

Going to the Sunday Market with his cousin was something Ed looked forward to every month. At this point, they already recognized most of the stalls, even if they changed occasionally. Most times, they didn’t even buy anything, it was just fun to walk around pointing out nice or bizarre things to each other, failing to pronounce the name of vegetables they had never even heard of in the farmer’s area, taking the time to be with each other without the day to day hustle hanging over them. But he couldn’t say he was mad about not spending this one outing with her. This time, he had an actual mission to accomplish in the market.

And it was one that he wouldn’t even have to spend his time with if all people were as effective as his cousin and simply asked their crushes out on dates. 

As soon as he told Johanna and her new… friend that he was going to take a look around on his own, he walked away purposefully to where he knew his professor’s stall would be. It was generally at the same place, so the only question was whether or not she’d be there herself that weekend. Edmund got his answer as soon as he caught sight of the stacks of honey jars, which were being taken care of by a younger woman as Birgitta herself talked (presumably about their conservation initiatives) to a client who had just made his purchase.

He waited a couple of feet away for her to be free again, and luckily enough she caught his sight as soon as the buyer had gone away.

“Edmund!” She said, as warm as ever. “How nice to see you here!”

“Afternoon, professor.” Even though professor Bloom had long since become intimate enough with him to call him by his first name, he had never been able to do the same, no matter how many times he had been told he was allowed to. “I was hoping I’d find you around. I just wanted to thank you, the lecture last Friday was great.”

“That’s too kind. I know it must be despairing to watch the same facts being flung at you every year.”

“Aw, come on, don’t do that. They’re not the same ones, they get worse.”

Birgitta snorted, which to him was a good sign. He needed her in a good mood if he wanted to have any hope of what he was going to say landing correctly.

"Besides, you and your wife look so cute that it balances out the despair.”

His move had been a bold one, and she blinked a couple of times in quick succession as she whipped her head up to meet his gaze. 

“My what?”

“Oh, I’m sorry!” He feigned innocence, hoping that his cupid impulses didn’t cost him his advisor. “Is she your girlfriend, then? I shouldn’t have assumed-”

“No, no!” By now Birgitta was blushing hard and putting her hands up in front of herself in a ‘I’ll stop you right there’ gesture. The vendor, who was probably one of the people who worked with her in the land trust, was watching them with a smile wanting to blossom on her lips. Clearly she’d seen some shit as well. “Victoria and I are just friends, actually.”

“Really?” He tried to sound as surprised as he could, and not at all the way he actually wanted to sound (that being like a cop trying to force the truth out of the person they were questioning, which would probably be more effective). “Oh, my bad. She just looks at you like she’s so lovesick, you know? Anyway, thanks for the lecture again. I’ll see you Tuesday for the mentoring?”

The delivering of a lot of information at the same time had the desired effect of not allowing her to question it, and she was only able to weakly mumble that yes, their appointment remained before declaring that she needed some air and walking away from them and from the market. 

Both Edmund and the vendor watched her cross the street, turning her back to the cluster of people and activity that the square currently was. After a moment, the younger woman huffed out the laugh she’d been holding back.

“Thank you.” She sighed. “Maybe this time it won’t go over her head.”

Before walking away to find his favourite stalls (he really deserved to go see the cool wood carver after this), Edmund nodded at her in recognition.

“I did it for us all, sister.”

.........

Mondays are awful. They are awful because you have to get into weekday mode again after having turned it off. They’re awful because you have to eat leftovers from the weekend since you don’t have time to cook more food. They’re awful because, if you procrastinate on doing your chores during the weekend, your house is now dirtier than ever and you have to simply find the time to deal with that. But that Monday sucked in particular because Raven was pretty sure he was doing something illegal.

Thinking thunder was cool, he realised, had been his downfall. It was liking thunder that had led him down this path in his life. It had been what brought him to study Weather Science in the University of Trolberg, which got him into contact with professor Van Gale. She, in turn, had listened to him talk about wanting to study how weather events like lightning, thunder and storms were made and if it was possible for humans to create them, and said that she was going to begin a research project that dealt with very similar things. He remained in the university for his Masters, and got the only spot that was available in her project.

And now here he was, unwillingly helping her commit sabotage.

He didn’t even know why she wanted him to look over her plans. She was a genius, and much better at the mechanical part of what they did than him (really, it was as if she’d studied as much engineering as climatology in her life), so his only guess was that she didn’t want him to feel left out.

A true shame, that, since he very much wanted to be left out of this.

“Are you okay, Raven?” His flat mate’s voice cut through his thoughts. “You’ve been sighing a lot for the last fifteen minutes.”

Checking in with himself, he noticed that both his hands were in his dark, straight hair, gripping tight. He took them out and smoothed over his head, hoping he hadn’t ruined his ponytail too bad. Next, he straightened his posture and schooled his features into something that didn’t look as much like the anguish he was feeling.

“Oh, I’m just reading some things Dr. Van Gale sent me. She remains very distressed about the lack of funding for our project. It all keeps going to professor Ahlberg.”

Alfred put his phone down on the kitchen table and sat down in front of him, reaching out to touch one of his hands to his. “I’m sorry something is distressing you so. Is there anything that can be done?”

“Against a professor’s project? Hardly.” Both Raven and Alfred jumped at the voice. The third person they shared their flat with, Tontu, was suddenly sitting at the table with them even though neither had seen him coming, a bowl of fruit loops and milk in his hands despite it being six in the afternoon. Raven could swear that that man popped out of nowhere, sometimes. “You could try doing something against the professor himself, though.”

Staring fixedly at Tontu, like sometimes he couldn’t believe that he was real, Alfred cleared his throat. “Yeah, maybe Raven can store that idea away for another time.”

“Whatever. Anyway, I was just on the phone with my family. Timtum told me to say hi to you guys.”

“Uh, send our hellos to him as well.” Raven said as Tontu stood up and walked away to the kitchen sink. After he was out of earshot, Alfred turned to him again.

“Do you think those are the actual names in his family?”

They had never had the courage to ask if ‘Tontu’ was really his name. They weren’t sure if they wanted the answer. Raven just shrugged and tried to go back to the conversation in a way that didn’t continue to touch on Victoria or her academic nemesis.

“Anyway… you texting Bart?”

Alfred had been giggling at his phone for the past ten minutes, which had been another thing to help Raven completely immerse himself in Van Gale’s emails. He hated the pang of jealousy he felt when he thought too much about his flatmate and his older boyfriend, so he had had no better option than to read through his mentor’s madness, really.

“Oh, no!” He chirped. “I’m talking to Jo, actually. She went out with a girl she likes yesterday and now she’s losing her mind about it. I shouldn’t be having as much fun as I am with this, honestly.”

Resting his chin on his hand, Raven sighed as Alfred kept going on. At least someone was having a good time.

…......

Birgitta had to do something. She didn’t know what, though. Was there even an appropriate way to react to the fact that the person you’ve yearned for for nearly two decades might feel the same? It wasn’t even a certainty, but rather a guess made by a student who had done nothing but watch them lecture together. He could very well have been wrong. Victoria had been a dear friend for a long time, it was to be expected that she was sweet to her, it didn’t have to mean anything else.

But even if that was the case, the fact that it was driving Birgitta this insane was a sign that she had to do something about it. It would swallow her alive otherwise.

She waited far longer than she should have, telling herself that she was waiting for the right moment and ending up losing momentum. It was only one week after Edmund had talked to her, on a Monday, that she had enough nerve to reach out.

She had waited until the end of the day, because of course she had. Busying herself with all sorts of tasks hadn’t been enough to settle her mind down, and she spent the entire day feeling like her insides were frozen because of how anxious the thought of having that conversation was making her. It would have been worse if she had done it in the beginning of the day, though. Regardless of what Victoria told her, she knew she would not be able to focus afterwards. 

It must have been around eight in the evening when Birgitta locked her office’s door. She had waited so long that if it were any other professor she wanted to talk to, she would have had to worry about them having gone home already. Not Victoria, though. That woman spent as much time in the university as someone who lived off campus could.

The path to Victoria’s lab was a familiar one; Birgitta had been there many times before to spend time with her under the pretence of learning more about her research on cloud seeding. Sure enough, when she got there, there was light coming from under the lab’s door, even though the corridors were mostly empty. After certifying herself for the seventh time since she left the office that her outfit wasn’t dirty with soil, leaves, or animal fur, as it tended to be, Birgitta took a deep breath and knocked gently on the door.

“Good evening, Victoria!” She called out, knowing that if her friend thought it was someone else it was entirely possible that she’d pretend to not be there just so she didn’t need to open the door and talk to someone. “Birgitta here. May I come in?”

“Yes, of course!”

Her voice sounded like she’d been caught by surprise, which was understandable. Birgitta wasn’t usually around in the university at this time. Turning the doorknob, she noticed that not even forcing the door forward allowed it to open.

“It is locked, though, you know.”

“Oh!” The sound of Victoria hastily getting up from a wheelie chair came from the other side, and soon so came the metallic cling of a key against the door. “Sorry!”

Victoria’s face was slightly pinker than usual, and her lopsided smile made a dimple appear on the left side of her face. Yes, Birgitta was going to have to confess to this woman. She’d simply been left with no other option.

“No worries. May I come in?”

Opening the door wider gesturing for her to come inside, Victoria stepped out of the way and allowed her to come closer. Birgitta was vaguely aware of the sound of the door being closed again while she looked around, trying to find something to say.

“Sorry to interrupt you.” She said, noticing that Victoria’s laptop was open and the screen bright at her desk. “I can come back later, if you want me to!”

“No, not at all!” Four words that wrecked Birgitta’s hopes of leaving that building with her dignity intact. “I was just stalking a coworker to see if I can find dirt on them.”

The scientist had walked closer to her again, and Birgitta blinked at her. After all these years, it sometimes still impressed her how blunt she was. It was most endearing, really.

“Well, as long as it’s not me…”

“What- No!” She exclaimed, making Birgitta chuckle. “No, no, you probably don’t even know the woman. It’s just that a friend of mine told me she’s not having, let’s say, the greatest experience with a specific literature professor, and I wanted to see if there might be any reasons for it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She said, assuming that the friend was one that Victoria mentioned every once in a while, seeing as Raven, the only other student who she knew Victoria had contact with, had nothing to do with literature. The thought reminded her to thank the heavens that he wasn't in the lab at that moment. “Found anything yet?”

“Maybe, maybe not. It will require further research.”

She shook her head fondly. As Birgitta looked around, there were many gadgets and boards filled with annotations that she knew she could point out and spend hours talking to Victoria about, but that hadn’t been why she had come. Postponing this conversation had been how she’d ended up with years and years of heartache.

“Tell me, Victoria, can I talk to you about something? It’s good, don’t worry, but it’s serious. So I understand if you’re tired or don’t want to do this now for any other reason.”

Seemingly switching into Business Mode, Victoria turned to her like someone who hadn’t realised she was supposed to be taking this visit more seriously, and nodded eagerly. Birgitta didn’t miss the way she began to fidget with the hem of her lab coat.

“Feel free to say whatever you want to. Would you like to sit down?”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” She took a deep breath. They were grown women, damnit, the world wouldn’t end over a crush. “I got a comment… about our lecture together, and I wanted to talk it through with you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. A student told me he got the impression you have feelings for me.”

All that came from Victoria was a stunned silence, but Birgitta followed on, knowing it must sound like an accusation so far.

“And I just wanted to come clean to you, because <em>I</em> have been interested in you as more than a friend for the longest time now, but I never said anything because, well, I thought you were happy with how things are. But since he said this, I thought it might be worth a shot to actually talk to you about the matter.”

“Yes.”

Victoria had been staring at some point to the side of her face when she began, but brought her gaze directly to her eyes as she continued. Birgitta had barely finished talking when that one word came.

“Pardon?”

“I- sorry, I’m not entirely convinced that this is happening, hold on.” She took a couple of seconds to breathe and organise her thoughts, and then looked back at Birgitta. “He was right, your student. I do have feelings for you. I’d apologise for letting them show, since I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I’m guessing that it wasn’t an issue, right?”

Google, how do I make it any more explicit that I like someone than telling them I like them?

“It wasn’t. I was happy to hear that because honestly, it was getting embarrassing to just sustain this crush on you and do nothing about it.”

Putting her feelings out there so bluntly would have felt embarrassing too, if only each word didn’t make Victoria look happier and more at ease.

“If you were sitting on it for as long as I have.” She began, her dimples showing again. “Then it got embarrassing for us both a long time ago, Birgitta.”

Even though she had already admitted how she felt, it was the quip that released the tension that had built up on her chest and shoulders, a cage being flung open and allowing her anxiety to fully dissipate. It was okay. They would be fine.

“Reluctantly, I’ll have to agree.” She chuckled, knowing her blush mirrored the one in Victoria’s cheekbones. “Will you go out on a proper date with me, then? I’m free tomorrow after my tutorings, if you want to go have dinner in the city.”

Victoria’s grin widened and she gripped the labcoat’s hems even tighter, holding herself back from doing more energetic movements in her excitement.

“I would love that.”

………

Raven arrived at the lab the following day with tension levels so high that Victoria could swear that their weather equipment should be able to pick it up. They didn’t turn them on, though. Currently their work had turned towards… other things.

“Quit complaining, for heaven’s sake.” She said, unable to hold back any longer after an hour of building the base for small gadgets with him. Not even knowing that she had a date with Birgitta later that day made it any easier to stand his constant whining; she imagined that the small recording device she wore at her lapel in order to keep track of experiments would be filled with his sighing, now. “You know Erik Ahlberg is a tool and that his project shouldn’t even exist. We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

Not morally, at least. Legally? Yeah, they probably were.

“I’m not worried about whether or not it’s right, Victoria!” He put his tools down on the desk with a clang, making Victoria jump in her seat both at the loud noise it made and at the use of her first name. It was generally a sign that he was really mad at her, which wasn’t really an uncommon occurrence however much she tried to avoid it. “I’m worried about the very real possibility of us getting caught! Even if your plan works out, these devices won’t turn to nothing when they self-destruct! They’ll still be there, and if anyone finds them, it won’t be hard to trace them back to you. They have to have some control over the materials that are bought with the university’s money, don’t they?”

He sighed deeply, putting his hands on his lap. His copper skin looked pale, and there were bags under his eyes. For the first time, Victoria stopped to consider the toll that what she had asked her student for must be taking on him. 

Raven was a good boy, he really was. She had tried to nourish his interest and give him a good shot, a good opportunity to learn new things and to work on exciting research that would no doubt give him a CV that couldn’t be ignored.

What was she doing instead?

“I know you have good reasons, doc. I do, and I agree. But I’m afraid. I’ve fought hard to be here. My family is counting on me. If I lost it all, and left with a criminal record, no less… I’m not sure what they’d do. I’m not sure what I’d do, either.”

“I know.” She answered, even though a new, more terrifying scenario was coming to her mind. “That’s why we need to do this. We haven’t been able to do a quarter of what we could yet! And only because Ahlberg is getting all the funds, somehow! Isn’t allowing this to happen just another way of disappointing the people who put their trust in us?”

“Maybe it is.” He sounded as tired as he looked as he got up from his bench, his voice slurred as if it pained him to speak. “But at least it isn’t dishonest. It’s not… morally dubious. I don’t know. I need a break, be back in ten.”

Walking away to the door quicker than she would have been able to stop him, Raven left her alone at the lab, only her and her swirling thoughts. 

If their devices were found, they would be traced back to them. She had been aware of it. Raven’s innocence was easy enough to forge. There was nothing written or drawn in his handwriting that didn’t have to do with their official project, and she could simply give her word that her student was innocent. After all, why would a researcher try to protect someone they had nothing other than a professional link to? He would simply be innocent, and there would be nothing to prove him guilty.

Not Birgitta, though. Victoria could remember as if it were yesterday how angry she’d been when Ahlberg’s project got approved. It’s an absurd!, she had declared while they took a stroll through the campus. And a complete disservice! We’re over here, giving our lives to debunk the myth that troll flies are dangerous, and that idiot shows up promoting the opposite thing!

She had protested the continuation of his research however way she could, back in the day. She had sent essays to the dean, the university’s board, the research ethics committee, even to Erik Ahlberg himself to try and stop it. But despite her best efforts, the project not only flourished but also became the one that received the best grants in the whole university. To this day, it was something that Birgitta was openly bitter about, though her efforts were now concentrated at protecting that species in her lands.

And if she was dating Victoria, and their sabotage was caught, the dots would be wrongly connected and the blame would fall directly on her lap. She would lose all her prestige and the job that she loved.

What a terrible gift that would be.

Victoria didn’t know how, but her phone ended up in her hands. Time seemed to be jumping from moment to moment without her realising as her mental cogs worked, trying to find which was the least worse way out of the grave she’d dug for herself (because there really was no ‘better’ way out). Unfortunately, she found herself in hers and Birgitta’s conversation.

And began typing.

………

As he was waiting for his tutoring to begin, Edmund didn’t even remember what he had done the former week at the market. All he was doing was trying to remember the points he wanted to discuss with his advisor in the new material he had sent her, which he had revised on the Saturday afternoon during which Johanna had left him alone at the house. He only hoped that the fact that he had sent it in a hurry when his cousin had arrived back home, so that he could hear her ramble about the Pilqvists, hadn’t too heavily impacted the quality of the text he had submitted. 

The sound of a door banging brought him back to reality. Abigail, the one other student that professor Bloom was currently mentoring, had just left her office looking like she’d tasted something sour.

“Everything alright?” He asked his friend, earning an eye roll in response.

“With me? Yeah, sure. Be warned, though, Bloom is in one hell of a mood today.”

The woman walked down the corridor without another word, leaving Edmund to face whatever would come next alone. Swallowing down his anxiousness, he stepped forward and knocked on Birgitta’s door.

...……

[7 unanswered messages]

Victoria 💙

Birgitta, hi

i’m so sorry. i know what i said and i meant it, but i cant see you later

it’s better that we dont keep in touch for some time, actually

i know it doesnt make sense but please believe that its for the best

im trying to do the right thing

i promise

im so sorry