#this got long but i. feel a lot about this game

[xinganhao]

🎸 vernon dates rockstar!reader. (5)

catch you when i can series masterlist ★ vernon x rockstar!reader who’s a foreigner in an international rock band 📼 part five, a.k.a the one where a choice has to be made

ⓘ international rockstar!f!reader, long distance relationship, established relationship, angst, best read in order + headcanons & addtl. content under the cut. final part. ♫ part one | part two | part three | part four. ✉︎ dedicating this to vernon!rockstar anon, forever n always. ♡

🎧 suggested/accompanying listening for while you read. without further ado.

🎧 — ��it's a sunday night, a night never to be trusted for emotions. so, a lot of you guys are gonna head home and either receive texts in the dead of night, or actually compose them that are not going to be fully representative of how you feel for the rest of the day, for the rest of your week.”

This is what the press know:

Six months after the two of you went public, you and Vernon made the mutual decision to end your five-year relationship. While you both remain mum on the reason behind the breakup, insider sources claim that the pressures of a high-profile, public relationship got to you both. The two of you are committed to remain good friends despite the split.

Only one out of those three 'facts' are true.

This is what the fans know:

Vernon is Mr. Perfectly Fine. There are moments where the façade slips, like when his breakup is brought up during a fansign, or somebody asks about it on Weverse. But, for the most part, he does his job and he does it well. He performs. He produces. He looks like the breakup hasn't affected him at all.

That Vernon can still function is true. That he's unaffected isn't.

This is what you know:

Vernon will be better off without you. A long-distance relationship was never going to be easy. Add in the factor of coming from two vastly different entertainment industries? Yeah, the two of you would have never worked out. You're doing more harm than good. Breaking up with Vernon is the kindest thing you can do to him. He'll get over you eventually.

You are wrong on all accounts.

This is what Vernon knows:

He loves you. Plain and simple.

He wants you. He can't remember a time where he hadn't; he can't imagine a time where he won't.

He will let you leave, let you walk away, if you think that's what's necessary. But he refuses to think that it's right. That it's fair.

In a perfect world— or at least a world that's just a little bit nicer to the both of you— he would get to keep you.

That much is true.

🎧 — “your friends, and your brain, and your morals, and your conscience have all trained you not to respond. but i'm gonna go against the grain and i'm going to suggest that the next time you get a message from the one you love, the only person in the world you love and can't talk to, that you respond.”

11203km • 17m ♫ John Mayer - Edge of Desire

11203km [🎸] welcome back. Liked by 11203km

11203km never left. — 🐻‍❄️

🎧 — “life is just too short to keep playing the game. 'cause if you really want somebody, you'll figure it out later. if you love someone, don't say a word. just come over.”

[FIN.]

[henry7931]

Chase:

Today is a really weird day and I didn’t know how I would feel about coming over to my best friend Bryce’s house especially after the incident.

Bryce and I have been friends for over 12 years now and him and I have always been a couple of scrawny gay nerds. We both love Minecraft legend of Zelda, just about every video game you can think of and one way we really bonded was figuring out that we are both gay.

Now for years, I’ve always known that Bryce had a crush on me. For me it was never that I didn’t like Bryce or I was never interested, but I never wanted to ruin the friendship. But then you have Walker is older brother. Walker is a few years older than us. He’s super handsome, athletic, charming, he could basically date anyone he laid his eyes on.

The truth is Walker was my sexual awakening for years. I’ve stayed at their house and spent the night and it wouldn’t be uncommon to see Walker come out and nothing but basketball shorts hell I don’t even think he would wear underwear sometimes.

I can remember the way seeing him made me blush, and I tried my hardest not to stare at him. I don’t know if Walker could tell that I was checking him out. Or maybe Walker was just used to people checking him out shouldn’t be any surprise that his little brother‘s gay friend had his eyes glued to him.

And somehow he continues to keep getting hotter and hotter and hotter…

So several weeks ago, Bryce and Walker’s family went on vacation to some tropical island. And something very strange happened while touring an old temple. How Bryce explained it to me was that they had a sign up that specifically said, “ please do not touch artifact.”

Bryce can be such a stickler for rules and I can almost see it in my head. It all went down. Bryce told Walker not to touch it. Walker likes to get on Bryce‘s nerves Walker reaches for it and then shit got real quick. Because Walker and Bryce have now switched bodies.

When Bryce was explaining all this to me, I really thought it was bullshit. I mean, who would believe that that sounds like something from a movie and yet even hearing Walker‘s voice, I can tell just by the tone that it’s Bryce.

So today is the first day that I have seen Bryce since he swapped bodies with Walker. And that’s why I feel all kinds of weird.

Now Bryce and I have stayed with each other like 1 million times and it’s really not unusual for us to be basically naked around each other. OK maybe not completely naked but like at least in her underwear.

And I have tried really, really hard to make him feel comfortable and I think I’m doing a really good job but having him standing in front of me in just his brother’s boxers is driving me a bit insane.

I’m sitting on Bryce‘s bed and walks back into his room just to ask me if I wanted anything from downstairs like something to drink or maybe a snack. I can barely get out the words because I can’t stop staring at the chiseled God in front of me.

“ chase you’re staying the night right?,” he asked me.

“ oh yeah, of course I’m staying the night as long as that’s OK.”

“ yeah man of course it’s okay! You know it’s okay man. No one cares you stay the night. You’re like basically family sides. My brother isn’t going to be home tonight. He’s wanted a lot of space since the whole. I’ve got his body thing. And both my parents are out of town so it’s just gonna be us,” he says with a side smirk.

“ well if it’s just us what do you wanna get into tonight?,” I say trying to make conversation.

I’m holding my eye contact directly at his face and I try my hardest not to look anywhere else, but he takes his hand and start scratching his balls and I can almost feel my whole cock twitch.

“ I mean since everybody’s not here tonight, we can always break into my parents liquor cabinet, whoop whoop!”

You know I am probably the most innocent 18 year-old alive, I don’t wanna attend parties nor do I really sneak around my parents but I feel like alcohol sounds like a great idea right now. I mean it I might be able to calm down a bit.

“Hell yeah! That’s sounds fun!,” I say with some enthusiasm.

“Bet! Be right back!”

I hear as heavy feet running down the stairs and all I can do is try to think of something that would totally turn me off like anything taxes, my grandparents, just something…

And yet all I can think about is how hot it would be if I could suck on his toes. I’ve had a thing for feet a while now and it’s taking me a little bit to accept it and a part of that I blame Walker for him because he has some sexy ass feet.

I can remember clearly the smell of his feet after he would finish football practice and he would pull off his shoes. Shit! Fuck! I’m so hard right now. I feel like I’m gonna have to sneak away and beat one out in the bathroom just to clear my head.

And then here comes Bryce with two glasses in his hand and a bottle of wine for the both of us just super eager.

I reposition myself to where I’m laying flat on my stomach so he doesn’t notice.

Bryce hops on to the bed with me and try’s his hardest to navigate a wine opener.

“Geez, I have no clue what I’m doing here…”

I eventually take it and started twisting in. I try to pull it out but struggle.

“Here since you now have all of the muscles.”

He rolls his eyes at me and tugs it out.

“Success!”

“Good team work there he-man,” I say playfully.

Bryce’s pours both of us a glass and at first I thought it tasted awful. But the second glass… now I see why people like it. I feel so warm inside and relaxed.

We both lay back in his bed.

“Is it super weird for you?,” I ask him.

“What?”

“You know… being in your Walkers body.”

“Um… yes. Yes and no I guess. I feel like everything has just moved so quick since the trip. I feel very different in public, like I’m so much more noticed. girls hit on me… so do guys. It’s a lot to take in especially since you and my family are the only ones who know about it.”

“What about Walker’s girlfriend?”

“Oh he broke up with her, thought it would be less weird. Although he had to do it over text because I refused to call or see her in person.”

“Damn! That’s crazy.”

“Yeah but she was like his girlfriend for the month, nothing serious.”

Of course…

“So is this pretty permanent?”

“Yeah I think so, unless you know of any other magic objects than can reverse it haha.”

“No, not off of the top of my head,”I say jokingly.

“Well… that answers your question. This is my body now. This is the new me I guess,” he says looking his muscles over.

I look them over as well and then my eyes draw this briefs… he’s got a hard on…

Bryce catches my eyes and says, “you wanna touch it?”

“What?!?”

“Come on Chase… don’t play games with me. I know you and I know you’ve had the hots for this body. I’ve known for years now.”

I take a deep breath… I feel my nervous all over again.

“It’s okay, I know you like this body. It’s my body now. And I want you to touch my massive dick.”

“But Bryce!”

“Shhh! Chase I’ve had a crush on you for years and I know you would never fool around with me. And now I have the body you’ve been lusting for years now. TOUCH MY MASSIVE DICK PLEASE!”

“Fuck, okay.”

I start touching it from the outside and it does feel huge!

“You know I love you Bryce, you’re the most important person to me. I just never wanted us to loose our friendship. It’s why I never tried anything with you.”

“I know. And listen I know you weren’t trying to go after my brother. I know what he looks like. Everyone does. But now I have the body and the personality so, I’m giving you no choice but to date me. Got it?”

“Ugh fine,” I say rolling my eyes.

“Now can you do me a favor?”

“Sure!”

“Can I see your feet?” he says to me.

Wow! Wasn’t expecting that!

“Wait why?”

“I hope you don’t think this is weird but I have a thing for them.”

“Shut up! So do I!”

“You do?!?”

“Yeah especially…,” I eye down to his feet and wiggles his toes.

“Oh my god! This is about to be a wild night!”

“Wait, can I kiss you?”

“Please!”

Part 2 Coming…

[peachhcs]

sweet, sweet memories

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

the holidays bring the hughes’s and smiths back together in cape cod where nostalgia and the holiday spirit washes over everyone

wc: 5.7k

requested by anon to write about samy + will celebrating christmas and hanukkah. this turned into less samy and will and more all of the hughes siblings and smith siblings instead. also less hanukkah, i’m sorry about that but it is mentioned a lot! i forget sometimes that the hughes are half jewish, so this was a nice touch to add. i wanted to try a new writing style so i sprinkled in some old memories between the plot and wrote more grace x quinn x jack dynamic bc i feel like i never write about their relationship growing up, but anyways, this is long so enjoy!

au masterlist

for the first time in probably four years, all the hughes kids were coming home for the holidays. the hockey gods aligned for the devils and canucks allowing the three boys to have three days off before their next game which meant three days to fly home and spend the holidays with family after doing it through facetime for the last few years. the sharks followed the same schedule which meant will was flying home too, so with the knowledge that all the kids were coming home, ellen and colleen decided to plan a joint holiday at the smith's family home in cape cod.

so all their kids booked their flights for monday night and tuesday morning to fly out to cape cod. jack and luke were the first ones in after their game finished late that afternoon. ellen excitedly greeted her boys when they came through the door. "hi, hi. it's so good to see both of you," the older woman kissed her son's cheeks as they returned her tight hugs.

"hey mom, good to see you too. hi colleen, hi bill," jack greeted his "second parents" next, quickly exchanging similar hugs.

"it's so good to see you both. how was the flight?" colleen wondered, kissing the boys' cheeks too.

"really good. quick. thanks for hosting here," luke smiled brightly.

"of course. we're so excited all of you will be here for a few days. you two are the first ones here," colleen laughed.

"figures. when's everyone else coming?" jack wondered as he shedded himself of his jacket.

"samy and grace should be here in another hour. quinny and will aren't coming in until tomorrow afternoon," ellen explained everyone else's whereabouts.

"tomorrow afternoon?" luke sounded surprised that his older brother wasn't getting there sooner. ellen nodded though, "their game isn't starting until 9pm our time, so they're catching the earliest flight out tomorrow morning."

"damn. that's crazy. at least quinny has one more day of vacation than we do," jack chuckled. the boys ventured downstairs to the basement with their things. the usual rule was that luke stayed in will's room, samy stayed in grace's room, jack and quinn stayed in the spare room down in the basement, and ellen and jim were in the guest room upstairs.

when they were younger, the boys made the entire basement their "man cave" during the summer where they just took over the entire downstairs and will and luke bunked down on the couches. the same applied to the michigan lake house too before more friends started coming by. things were probably going to change now that will and samy were together, but that was a later problem the parents could work out tomorrow when everyone got in. for now, jack unloaded his bag in his and quinn's room while luke just threw his backpack and suitcase in the corner of the room.

the older boys caught themselves up with the parents while they awaited the girls' arrivals. jack and luke gladly told colleen and bill about their season so far, explaining how luke's second full year has been and jack overcoming his shoulder injury. finally, an uber pulled into the drive that was definitely either samy or grace. everyone crowded the front windows to see and much to their surprise, both girls jumped out of the vehicle and raced up the porch steps.

"surprise! we ran into one another at the airport," samy giggled when she pushed the door open.

"what a coincidence! i'm glad you did," ellen chuckled and pulled her daughter in for a hug. more hellos and hugs were exchanged between everyone as the girls got themselves inside.

"heya squirt," jack nuzzled his sister's head in typical older brother fashion. the brunette quickly squirmed out of his grasp.

"what's up rowdy," samy cheesed, flicking jack's hat off in response.

"good to know you haven't changed in a week," the older boy mumbled and let her go so she could say hi to luke.

"how were the flights?" jim asked.

"it was quick and painless. i made it through tsa in 10 minutes which i think is a new record for me," samy explained, bending down to greet the smith's dog they brought everywhere.

"good. glad to hear that. quinny and will are coming in tomorrow afternoon. we have the pregame talkshow up now," colleen nodded towards the big tv.

"ooh, good. i'm excited to watch this one," samy grinned and followed grace upstairs to put her things away for now.

the two girls came back downstairs a minute later and both families got themselves comfortable around the tv to watch their last two members battle it out on the ice in an hour. ellen and colleen busied themselves in the kitchen knowing they had a lot to start prepping for the christmas and hanukkah dishes since hanukkah started on the same day as christmas this year. the kids got the big couch where they spread themselves out between it and the floor. samy slumped down between luke and grace, sending messages to will that they were all watching the game from cape cod.

"so what've you been up to gg?" jack directed his attention to the oldest smith, the nickname being one he's called her since they were kids.

"not a lot really. trying to find my footing and thinking about moving," the older girl explained.

"moving? where to?" luke chirped up.

"i don't know yet, honestly. i really liked the west coast when i was there moving will in, but i don't know if i can be that far away from home," she explained.

"you'd have quinny kind of..close by-ish..you two would be on the west coast together!" luke exclaimed making grace giggle.

"i've been thinking about it and trying to look up apartments. i guess we'll have to see," she smiled softly. "what about you jj and moosey? how's the garden state?"

"it's a dream, g. you have to come visit us sometime. come to a game," jack said like he was so enamored by new jersey still after being there for five years.

"i know, i've been meaning to make plans to come see you guys, but i got caught up with college graduation this past may and then traveling," grace explained and the boys nodded in understanding.

"sorry we missed that. things got crazy busy in may," jack chuckled a bit as his head leaned back against the edge of the couch.

"don't sweat it, i get it. the card from all of you was super nice," the blonde smiled. it wasn't often that the older siblings got to really catch up with one another, so they were really taking advantage of it these next few days.

when they were younger, it was always quinn, jack, and grace against luke, samy, and will. the older three took charge of the younger three—a perfect split—but as life happened and things got busier, all six of them were never around at the same time anymore. being in cape cod reminded all of them of the memories they made in the house and out on the beach fifteen steps away if they widened their strides.

summer of 2012

"why would i listen to you?" luke protested to his 13 year old brother. quinn rolled his eyes, already not excited about going out to the beach, "because i'm older than you and in charge."

"who put you in charge? you're not even that much older than me," the younger boy continued and poor quinn was losing his patience with luke.

"mom put jack, grace, and i in charge because she's gonna take her chance and trust all of us out on the beach today without her watching which means you have to do what we say," quinn emphasized the last part.

"i'm 9. i don't need a babysitter," luke complained. "i'm a year younger than grace!"

"i don't make the rules, moose. i'm not arguing with you anymore," quinn walked away for his own sake. he heard luke huff and then probably hurry off to find their mom. the older boy wandered back into the kitchen where will and samy were at the counter finishing their snacks and grace was doing samy's hair for her.

"moose is being an idiot," quinn mumbled in annoyance.

"don't call him an idiot, q. he just wants to feel included," grace defended luke.

"included? i am including him. i was just telling him the rules for today. i'm not taking the fall if he chooses not to listen to us," the brunette shrugged.

"dude, what'd you do to moose? he's all mad now," jack came into the kitchen a moment later.

"i didn't do anything! he's being a brat," quinn argued while jack just shook his head.

"you shouldn't poke the bear. you know how he gets," the younger brunette dug himself out another juice even though ellen said only one before they left.

"whatever. you guys are dealing with him if he starts again. i'm already done," quinn shook his head.

all 6 of them finally made it out of the house after another fifteen minutes. luke and will took off to the water where quinn was yelling at them to only go out to their waist since their parents weren't there. he was probably the one who took this "in charge" thing the most seriously. samy wanted to build a sandcastle so grace opted to help her do so.

things were going fine for a good seven minutes until luke came running back up the beach holding his palm with teary eyes. quinn, jack, and grace immediately rushed to the boy's side. "moosey, what happened?" quinn urged and then they all saw the piece of glass sticking out of his skin.

"oh no," jack muttered.

"i-i was just trying to find seashells and then i felt something poke my hand.." luke got out in sobs.

"hey, it's okay. it's not your fault," grace was quick to shush his cries, always the one who knew how to manage everyone's emotions.

"mom's gonna freak when she finds out," jack mumbled.

"she's never gonna put us in charge again," quinn frowned when he realized he already messed up his role of protector. he wanted to fix this, so he had to act fast. "j, you run inside and find a bandaid, wet cloth, and antiseptic," the older boy instructed.

"roger that," jack took off back towards the house.

"it's gonna be okay, moosey. we're gonna get you fixed up. it doesn't even look that bad," quinn assured and grace nodded in agreement.

"i-i'm sorry, quinny. i didn't mean to," the younger boy was still crying.

"it's not your fault, i promise. you were just playing around. it's whoever left glass on the beach," the older brother mustered his best smile in hopes of making luke feel better.

"when i was 8, i cut my foot on glass too. not a fun at all, but with the right medicine, it will be okay," grace added, trying to lift the boy's spirits.

"will i be able to swim still?" luke wondered, his tears finally settling.

"maybe not today, but once the cut heals, yes. it should only take a few days," quinn nodded with another smile.

jack came back running with all of what quinn asked for. the three got to work with fixing up luke's hand. quinn took the lead and pulled the little piece of glass from his brother's hand. grace used the antiseptic to clean the cut up real good before jack laid the bandaid down.

"see? good as new," grace grinned.

"thanks, guys. sorry again," luke frowned.

"not your fault, moose," quinn said and urged his brother to go have fun again. will begun helping samy with her castle in the meantime so luke quickly joined in. the oldest hughes held his hand up for a high five.

"good work everyone. mom will be proud of us," the older three grinned.

now two of the oldest tuned themselves in to the game beginning to unfold as quinn and will took the ice, a scene their 13, 11, 10, 9, and 7 year old selves never would've even dreamed of.

—

the next day, christmas eve and the night before the first night of hanukkah, everyone awaited will and quinn's arrivals. colleen and ellen pulled samy and grace to help them in the kitchen while somehow jack and luke evaded the help and went outside to the beach. it was cold for a december day, but warm enough that the breeze felt refreshing instead of freezing.

"god, i love being back here," jack hummed, his toes sinking into the soft sand.

"it reminds me so much of being little considering we don't come out here a lot anymore," luke shared the sentiments. the last time either of them could remember being in cape cod was probably years ago when luke was just starting the dev program. it seemed like being in cape cod was filled with old memories while the lake house in michigan was the bridge to the new memories and friends that filled the house each year.

cape cod would always be the hughes's and smiths to keep close to them and a place to fill whenever the families wanted time together.

as the day ticked by, there was probably dishes worth of food to eat in the next couple of days which wasn't surprising at all. ellen and colleen always went overboard with the food anytime they started cooking, so they were trusting all the kids and bill and jim would eat it all.

the last uber holding the final two kids pulled into the driveway around 4:40pm. samy was rushing down the steps to greet her boyfriend and brother first. she embraced quinn who eagerly scooped her into his arms much like jack and luke did. "wow, long time no see, little hughes," quinn grinned.

"glad you're finally here quinny," samy beamed and jumped towards will next. the blonde lifted her into his arms in a similar manner even though they did just see one another a little over a week ago.

"hi pretty girl, i missed you," will kissed her cheek.

"i missed you. great game last night. you guys were so good," samy praised both boys as they got their things from the back.

"eh, it was nothing," quinn played off the canucks win with a small shrug.

everyone else was waiting on the porch step for the boys. they went through all of the hugs with everyone and smiley hello's. ellen was finally glad to have all of her kids under one roof plus grace and will. the younger smith squeezed both of his parents and sister in tight hugs. "so good to see you again, will," colleen gushed after not seeing her son since visiting a few months ago.

the large group made their way back inside, tasteful aromas filling their senses from all the cooking happening. "good flights i assume?" ellen asked.

"long eight hours, but yeah. it was fine," quinn nodded.

"he snored the whole time," will exposed the older boy, snickering with luke and samy.

"alright, i get it. i snore. you do, too," quinn poked the rookie's shoulder.

"you guys get settled and then i'm sure everyone's hungry so we can eat dinner fairly soon. everything is almost all ready," ellen grinned.

"i'm assuming you're kicking me to the basement, right?" luke motioned between will and his sister who's faces flushed at his words. "i don't have to sleep in—"

"nah, it's fine. my stuff is already all down there anyway. gg, you get a room to yourself for once," luke teased while grace laughed. even though the couple had been together for more than a year now, the older three were still adjusting to seeing the new dynamic within their family. what used to be a divide between girls and boys most of time was now mixed in as they got older. they also just weren't around anymore to fully get used to the idea of samy and will dating after avoiding one another because "boys and girls had cooties."

"just don't be too loud when you start—"

"and that looks like the cue for will and quinn to put their stuff down," samy cut luke off before he finished his sentence. the curly-haired brunette just winked while the others snickered. the young couple's blush got worse as samy rushed will upstairs before anyone said something else uncalled for in front of their parents.

"it never gets old," luke mumbled to himself, collapsing back onto the couch.

"and i'll never get used to it until they get married probably," jack shook his head slightly.

quinn, jack, and grace could picture the first summer they started noticing changes in samy and will's relationship.

summer of 2018

samy and will were 13. luke mumbled something to jack in passing one day when he claimed that will kept inviting samy to hang out with them when he's never done it before. jack didn't really think much of it, also not really caring for luke's 15 year old moodiness as a 17 year old. no one really thought anything of it until quinn caught sight of the two younger ones on the porch together playing cards by themselves. he raised his eyebrow.

"what are you creeping at?" grace noticed quinn by the window.

"samy and will are out there playing cards by themselves," the older boy pointed out. grace went over to look for herself and sure enough, her brother and samy were smiling and laughing as they played two person uno.

"do you ever feel like this summer feels different?" the 18 year old wondered.

"different how?" grace grew curious.

"i don't know like everyone feels a million years older," quinn shrugged.

"i mean..we are older. you're starting sophomore year of college. luke's starting usntdp this fall. jack's almost done with usntdp..." grace listed off all the differences.

"yeah, yeah, but besides the obvious. something just feels different. like maybe everyone's all grown up now that we aren't needed anymore? quinn admitted and grace's expression fell.

"not needed? i don't think we can ever escape that being the oldest siblings," the girl laughed a little.

"i mean with the smaller stuff, you know? it feels like everyone's found their footing. i mean samy and will don't avoid one another anymore. cooties must've rubbed off," the brunette laughed too.

"we'll always be needed, q, just for different reasons, but i understand where you're coming from. it is weird seeing them get along so well now," grace peered out of the window again to catch another glimpse.

samy followed will to his room. it was roughly decorated with famous hockey players he picked out when they were like eight and stayed exactly this way since colleen and bill never found the need to redecorate the beach house rooms. "wow, i feel like i'm eight again," will admired the old medals and posters on the wall.

"this whole house feels like a time capsule to me. we like never come here anymore," the girl settled onto the bed.

"i know. it's cool being back though. feels like those really old times when we were little," will grinned when samy giggled at the memories. the blonde began unpacking some of his things before joining his girlfriend on the bed.

"how've you been?" he wondered.

"i'm good. you?"

"better now that we get to spend a few days together," the blonde cheesed earning a blush on samy's cheeks.

"i love you. how are you feeling about the game from last night?" because of how late everything was and will's early flight, the couple hadn't gotten a chance to talk about it like they usually would.

"fine. it was fine. i knew we would lose against quinn again," will shrugged, playing it off even though samy saw right through the disappointment settling into his body. she tugged his glance towards her, "i know it's hard losing so much, but it's nothing on you."

"i know, i just..it's still weird adjusting to the whole pro life and going from being one of the best to..semi average," the blonde shrugged.

"semi average? babe, give yourself some credit. you're way better than semi average. it may not seem like that right now, but you're gonna prove yourself. the fans love you," samy quickly reassured.

"i just wish our program was stronger or..we had something different. i don't know. i know having mack and i on is definitely turning it around slowly, but..still," will released a sigh, deflating even more with samy hated seeing.

"i get it. it's discouraging, but it's all the more reason to keep pushing for that change. plus, you have at least 3ish..maybe 2 by this point days off, try to take advance of them and just let your mind rest for now," will knew his girlfriend had a point so he smiled and tried forgetting about the team and hockey for now.

"i will, thanks. i love you too," he leaned in to peck her cheek. samy flushed, threading her fingers through his messy curls before heading back down stairs knowing someone would come up looking for them if they didn't.

the dining room finally got put to good use again as everyone found their unassigned, assigned seats while the boys helped bring the dishes out. colleen bill took each head of the table while everyone else filled in around them. likewise, the older siblings sat on one side while the younger ones sat across from them—the old and young divide still showing.

"i wanna say how grateful i am to have everyone here to celebrate the holidays this year. i couldn't be more grateful for having all my sons here and colleen and bill for opening this cherished home to us this year," ellen spoke up before anyone dug in. her expression glowed with joy and happiness seeing all four of her babies look back at her with similar expressions.

the entire dinner was spent with loud laughter and stories of the past few months since summer. hockey was the main topic, but samy continued getting praised for her recent win along with the excitement of being almost halfway done with college already. quinn shared updates about vancouver. jack and luke talked about jersey like they've been living there their whole lives and will expressed how happy he was in san jose. it seemed like every kid was finding their footing which warmed the parents' hearts.

once dinner concluded, the yearly tradition of receiving matching pajamas the night of christmas eve continued. it was even more special this time around because hanukkah was tomorrow too. all six kids opened the familiar shaped gift at the same time, wondering what the theme would be this year.

"oh my god, it's all of our teams," jack saw it first, always being the first one to rip through the wrapping paper. he held the pants up to examine it closer.

"we got them custom made so the pants have your team logos and your shirts are tailored to your specific team," ellen explained.

"wow these are awesome. thanks so much, mom," luke beamed, going to kiss the older woman's cheek.

"we want pictures, so go put them on!" colleen said and urged all the kids to change. they ran to the bathrooms or the bedrooms making the parents laugh. five minutes later, all 6 of them were in the new clothes sporting their teams.

"wow, i love them. you guys look so good," ellen gushed.

"i could totally fuck with these. i'd wear them out honestly," jack proudly declared and posed him his set.

"okay, everyone on the couch like usual," ellen instructed. the kids got themselves in order where the younger ones sat up on the actual couch while quinn, jack, and grace crowded them at their feet. wide smiles painted everyone's lips as the parents squeezed together to capture the memory.

"sooo adorable, oh my god. thanks for being good sports about this guys," colleen smiled when the last photo was taken.

"you guys better get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow. santa is coming and we're lighting the first candle on the menorah," mrs. hughes clapped her hands together in excitement. obviously, everyone was too old to believe in santa, but she liked saying it nonetheless because they were all still kids in her eyes.

"if you hear commotion on the roof, it just may be the reindeer," jim teased making everyone giggle with childlike excitement.

it was nice because none of them had really felt this excited about christmas like this in awhile. maybe it was something about being all together again that brought the magical feelings back.

"see you all in the morning," jack cheered and made his way downstairs. everyone else said goodnight to the parents and retired to their rooms.

samy and will cuddled together in his bed. "so what'd you ask santa for christmas?" the blonde cheesed in a whisper.

"well, i want one of those dyson air wraps for my hair. i asked for some new socks. some shirts and pants. all the usual. you?" samy giggled as she tried remembering the list she sent her mom a few weeks ago.

"honestly, i didn't really know what i wanted. new sweatshirts? more dress shirts," will shrugged a bit.

"i didn't really know what i wanted either honestly. i kind of told my mom to surprise me. i'm excited for you to see the gift i got you though," the girl grinned.

"oh really? am i gonna love it?"

"i mean, i hope so," samy snuggled in closer to her boyfriend's chest. he squeezed her arm and kissed her temple.

"i'm sure i will. i love anything from you," will laughed and they actually fell asleep pretty fast. after the long day of traveling, will was knocked out and samy fell asleep from his familiar scent alone.

the morning of christmas, a very special tradition was always carried out and luke and samy were already awake to continue it on. the two met in the quiet kitchen, "ready?" the older boy wondered.

"so ready," samy grinned.

every year since they could learn how to be quiet, samy and luke had a tradition of waking up everyone in the house super early using a different method each year. in past years they've splashed water on people's faces, blew air horns in their ears, threw fake rubber bugs on people—it was endless and the most fun the siblings had.

this year they were going with silly string. hoping that 5 cans was enough, they crept downstairs to where jack and quinn were.

winter of 2016

"shh, we have to be quiet," luke whispered to his little sister as they crept upstairs to jack's room. they were giggling like crazy with one another in hopes that no one would hear them coming.

their mom bought them the air horns weeks ago, hoping that by asking for them weeks in advance, she wouldn't find out what they'd be using them for. the tactic worked because no one in the house knew what was coming as they inched closer to their brother's room.

jack was a pretty heavy sleeper in general, so they hoped the loud air horns would do the trick. once they blew them, everyone in the house was bound to hear, so they had to move fast throughout everyone's rooms so they could all get a taste of the loud handheld machines.

"we go on my count," luke instructed and samy nodded. he carefully pushed jack's door open where the middle hughes was spread out across his bed snoring loudly.

it was seven in the morning, the latest they left anyone sleep before they set their yearly tradition and prank into motion. luke and samy hovered right over jack's head.

"3"

"2"

"1"

the loud sound blew through the air straight into poor jack's ears. he jolted straight out of bed, eyes wide with fear.

"wake up it's christmas!" luke and samy yelled before hurrying out of the boy's room. they pushed quinn's door open right next door, not hesitating to blow the air horns.

"get up! get up! it's christmas!" the oldest hughes jumped straight up too.

grace was their next victim in samy's room. "wake up!!" she yelled in the girl's ear who flinched.

they ran into their parents' room, jumping on ellen and jim's king sized bed and blowing the horns. "merry christmas!!!"

they were such menaces because mr. and mrs. hughes woke up startled and scared someone was breaking into their house until they realized it was just samy and luke.

they kept blaring the horns as they ran downstairs to the basement where will was asleep. the poor blonde grumbled something and tried covering his ears with the pillows. samy and luke ran back up the the main floor where they spun themselves around to announce the day ahead.

"it's finally christmas! everyone wake up!" the two yelled.

it was the cruelest way to wake people up, but it worked every year because everyone was usually awake within the thirty minutes samy and luke made their grand entrances.

this christmas was going to be no different. luke pushed his brothers' door opened where jack was spread out on the bed and quinn was sleeping the opposite direction. the siblings shared a glance, feeling bad for just a second, but knowing everyone should just expect it by now.

"you get quinn, i'll get jack," luke whispered and samy nodded.

she pointed her fire at her older brother who looked so peaceful sleeping. when luke gave her the signal, she shook her can and started spraying directly in the boy's face.

quinn, who wasn't a heavy sleeper, woke up immediately, "hey, what the fuck!" he yelled which woke jack up.

"woah, what the fuck is that?" they covered their faces.

"merry christmas!" samy and luke yelled before racing out of the room and back upstairs.

they went to ellen and jim's room, not even waiting to start spraying in their direction. "wake up! wake up! it's christmas!" the older couple winced when the substance touched their faces.

"luke. samy," ellen said sharply making her kids run out of the room before they were caught. samy bursted into will's room and she felt so bad getting up and leaving him alone in the bed, but it was also still so fun to wake him up like this.

"merry christmas smitty!" luke started spraying first. it rambled into the blonde's hair where he flinched away, hiding under the covers.

"hey! what the hell!" he grumbled.

"sorry, baby. get up! it's christmas!" samy giggled and ran out of the room to grace's.

no one was thrilled with the silly string wake up call and what samy and luke forgot was that they left their extra cans down in the kitchen where quinn and jack found them after they ran up the stairs.

the older brothers raced up to the second floor and sprang into action, spraying down samy and luke in return for the cruel wake up alarm.

"take that!" jack exclaimed and now all four siblings were having a silly string battle in the middle of the hallway. it was going everywhere on the walls, in their hair, on their clothes.

will and grace came out a second later when they heard the yelling. "take one!" jack threw a can to grace.

instead, she decided to spray the older boys back. they freaked and tried running away back down the stairs, but everyone just followed them instead.

the war continued in the kitchen. will grabbed his own can and now it turned into every man for themselves. counters were used as shields. corners weren't safe anymore. entryways became hiding places. silly string was everywhere.

when ellen, jim, colleen, and bill finally made it out of their rooms, they were greeted with a large amount of silly string everywhere.

"i can't say i'm mad because samy and luke always think of something clever to wake us up with," bill laughed.

"let's just be glad it wasn't water this year," ellen mumbled and decided to brave going downstairs where the war was still happening between the kids.

they had all made it outside at this point. the entire yard became free range. samy tried hunting down will, but he cornered her first and sprayed her hard with yellow.

"can it be a truce if we're dating?" samy said, blocking her face from the string.

"truce. nah, i come to play," will shook his head. the girl took off towards the beach knowing they couldn't spray on the beach because it was public property.

will still followed her but stopped when he saw that she had stopped too. he raised his eyebrow until he got closer and saw nothing but white covering the sand.

"oh my god, it snowed!" the girl squealed and ran onto the snow covered beach.

the blonde grinned, watching his girlfriend fall back into the snow even though she was still in nothing but her pjs. he quickly followed after her.

"will, it snowed! i haven't seen snow on the beach in so long," she was so happy and the silly string war was forgotten.

quinn, jack, luke, and grace came looking for the two. when they got closer to the beach, they caught sight of the snow and all of their faces lit up.

"no fucking way, it snowed!" jack hurried ahead.

"i haven't seen snow on this beach in so long," grace mumbled in disbelief.

jack copied samy and will. he stared making his own snow angel. being from michigan must've made them have thick skin because none of them were complaining about the cold in just pajamas.

"this is so cool," luke mumbled, pulling his phone out for a picture.

the silly string war quickly turned to a snowball fight. when the parents finally made it outside, they couldn't even be mad anymore because the joy on their kids' faces was like no other.

it really was some christmas miracle.

[wardensantoineandevka]

I won't get around to writing a properly developed post on it, but speaking generally and assuming broad good faith, I personally think the anachronism in Veilguard is fine. I know it's a deeply held bit of style for a lot of people, and many hold the directive about no anachronism as important to things feeling properly Dragon Age.

Personally, I never felt it THAT important. I roll my eyes at nitpicking about historically accurate costuming too, and I pause to wonder what IS "anachronism" in fantasy. I think a lot of the style of the games leaned so hard on it that, in some places, it was a substituting this rule in place of developing stronger individual style or voice. I love this series, but I don't feel like characters (notably once you got past core cast), locations, etc. always and consistently had a strong sense of voice, both in terms of diction but also in visual direction. I feel like even the music gets this a little bit, since Veilguard feels more musically interesting to me than many of the prior tracks because, I think, the soundtrack is allowed to feel a little less like vaguely European medieval heroic fantasy.

There's always been anachronism, but I think the strict reliance on adhering to a particular conception of what A Fantasy Story looks and sounds like really hampered, at least for me, the development of style identity. Veilguard's voice and style broke from that in a way that did feel successfully more specific and striking for the story and characters it's trying to dress. I think being released from this directive does—because there's no longer what we bring ourselves to the table from our familiarity with the genre and pattern recognition—however, magnify flaws in how Bioware always has treated the setting as just the backdrop against which these dramas play out. But that's outside the scope of my thoughts here. I'll just summarize that with: that's a consistent Bioware problem, and I don't think it's inherently wrong to approach worldbuilding as merely dressing the set for your story, though perhaps that isn't always the most successful approach here and I know many fans are very invested in the setting itself and its development, so that would put us all at cross purposes.

Don't get me wrong. There IS a place for that sort of directive, a rule against things that scan too modern. But then, I think for it to work, you have to have a very firm idea of your own voice, of your individual style and direction working with that directive, and frankly, I don't think Bioware EVER really had a super strong grasp of it here.

I do think the character design especially, character voice, and visual identity suffered SO much in many earlier instances because of this directive. Meanwhile, I think it's interesting and striking to have things like, for example, Neve clearly drawing from film noir and how that informs how I approach and think about her as a character and how appropriate it feels that Lucanis and Illario end on the stage of an opera house. I feel like being released from having to worry about anachronism has, for me, produced some of the strongest instances of style and voice in the series in a long time.

And I know a lot of people feel the OPPOSITE, which is a matter of personal experience and taste, but for my own, it always felt like the series was weighed down by a notion of needing to properly emulate The Genre. (We've all looked at the infamous browns and muds of Origins, a game I am fond of. This is why it looks and sounds like that, in my opinion.) This fear of being too anachronistic or too modern often left the series not really feeling, to me, like it's really had a firm sense or idea of what its style or voice was, of what made it sound or look like itself, because it was always afraid of being too modern while also feeling afraid to not look enough like a heroic epic fantasy.

I think getting rid of that and no longer fearing it has done a lot for developing a stronger voice with a look, sound, and feel for Veilguard that feels more specific and conveys story and character so much better and more confidently. Because, in the end, that's supposed to be what this is all in service of: conveying character and story. I feel like Veilguard, in being released from this restriction, has developed a stronger voice with which to do it.

[erinwantstowrite]

Wait did Loki already know about Dick and Jason and all that because he did research /before/ Peter got sent there on not just he was there without telling Peter? And that's why he ended up in that universe specifically cuz he had family there? Or I did I misread something?

oh no Loki is fully lying out of his ass right now. but really he's not lying, it's more like he's not telling the full truth ? idk how much I can really tell you guys cuz I don't want to spoil it... alright, so i can't tell y'all what he was doing specifically but i can tell y'all his general plan and some character insight

i'm feeling in a slightly spoilery mood so!!! if you don't want to know anything about what Loki is up to, don't continue reading! but be aware that at this point in time, there are some things that we just won't know about Loki in the fic itself that i'll talk about here!

before all of this he had absolutely no intentions of teaming up with Peter, he was just exploiting a weakness and trying to get Peter out of the way (this is the same as to what he did with Thor). he knows that Tony would be distracted, and in their efforts to find Peter they would probably be stressed out and their forces would thin because finding usually involves splitting up. they would also have to deal with Mysterio and Ohnn (....and a secret third character 👀). it would give him plenty of opportunity to go in and try and pick them off one by one. except it's not working on the Avengers side. we'll get more to this later 😁

after his first meeting with Peter, Loki figured that Peter would probably be a good place to get some intel if he needed it, because Peter trusted him and was not aware about Loki and his past with the Avengers (or at least not fully aware). the more that he learned about the Bats and Peter's relation to them, as well as learning about Peter, the more he figured it wouldn't hurt to have Peter on his side. he thought that he could twist Peter into believing the Avengers weren't coming. his plans have been shifting around, meeting his needs since the beginning. he's been standing off to the side and pushing the characters around trying to figure out what they will and won't do, like he's observing a game and they have no idea he's moving pieces around when they weren't looking.

however this plan was going to take a lot more time... and Klarion summoning Thor ruined it completely. he had to speed up the process and make his offer quite literally months before he thought he would. so in a way, we can thank Klarion for derailing Loki's plot

Loki had no idea what would happen when he directed Ohnn and Mysterio towards Peter. he knew that Ohnn had been traveling between worlds for a couple of months, but he had no idea if Peter would even survive going to this other universe. he also had no idea about Peter's relation to the Bats until he started digging around for his new plan (Plan: Exploit Peter's Love for his Parents). the thing is, is that his plan would have failed no matter what, because Loki failed to see that Peter's adopted family cares deeply about him, and this bond means just as much as any blood ties he could have. his own insecurities about his standing within his own family got to him. when he was digging around in Peter's life he saw that Peter's foster experience had failed. and he might, maybe, just a little bit... feel bad that the family that was going to adopt Peter were killed because of what happened in the Battle of New York.

so: while he has been very intentionally manipulating Peter... he was thinking of Peter's best interest after a certain point. instead of him not caring what happened to him as long as he was out of the way, Loki did start preparing to make sure that Peter could stay in this world and that he would be taken care of. because i don't believe Loki is an evil person, and even now he's just a little silly. he might have been a little bit crazy with Thor, but to be fair, every other time Loki had a plan and he wasn't crazy enough, Thor came out of it. I feel like they have different standards than what we would as humans. because if you have a sibling then I feel like you'll understand me here... me and my brother used to fight a lot and while we never actually chased each other with knives, we did chase each other with other weapons (whatever wouldn't actually kill but was within our reach) and I think this is their version of that. like me and my brother are super close now but when we were kids we tried to kill each other a lot lmfao. so Thor will probably forgive Loki because that's his brother. (and I'm pretty sure that Loki was under some form of manipulation by Thanos during the Battle of Manhattan/New York??? correct me if I'm wrong, but if that's the case Peter would eventually see that Loki isn't an evil person.) Loki is very chaotic neutral in my eyes, leaning towards evil or good depending on the day. so he's gonna get his ass kicked for trying to take over the world, but like, that's just his enrichment... you gotta let him try every few months/once a year or you're not doing enough to entertain and care for your sneaky God Alien Guy

[rnadett]

@transsweets Sorry, Guys u clearly missed a LOT from my analysis.

1. It was never just Caitlyn. It was Vi’s and Jayce’s agreement too. Vi knew exactly what The Grey was, and Jayce specifically designed her weapon for a strike mission. Loris’s, Steb’s, and Maddie’s weapons were all built for the same purpose—to strike.

Do you really think Jayce was like, "Yeah, I have no idea why you need these weapons designed like this, but sure, I’ll do it—no questions asked"?

Second: Margot and Chross, with their "Game of Thrones" in the undercity, harmed more civilians than the gas itself ever did. If it had continued, it would’ve been a full-blown catastrophe for the people living there. Margot’s clients were mostly high-influence figures in Zaun—primarily criminals and other gang members—because they were the only ones who could afford her services. Also, Zaun is HUGE. Pls look at the map! And yes, that ties directly to the meaning of my first sentence. >>

Ekko didn’t intervene or say anything against the gas, even though he was still there when they started using it. The Firelights knew everything happening in Zaun, especially something as big as clearing out Zaun’s (Ekko's) number one issue—the Chem Barons’ turf war, which caused the massive influx of refugees. That's an agreement because:

Ekko would’ve been the first to storm out, especially on Vi, if he didn’t agree with it.

I broke down every point, and now you’re just bringing it back up without actually reading. Every single character interaction (even if it didn't happened directly but you have a feeling for it) in Arcane has meaning—even if you "miss" it. Also, if the gas was the worst thing in Zaun, then why wasn’t it in any other part of in the whole later? Why didn’t it linger in other areas? Pls, just rewatch the episodes.

Also, why didn’t Sevika bring it up again beyond Vander’s statue? She doesn’t mention a word about it. If this had been Caitlyn’s greatest crime against Zaun, she would’ve used it to rally the Zaunites to her side. Instead, the central point of her speech was that there were Noxian soldiers in Zaun—something, yes, Caitlyn allowed.

Also, I never excused the use of the gas, nor did I ever say it was the best thing that could happen or that they should be thankful for it.

All I'm saying: It prevented a bloody war that would have been far more violent and brutal than the one that killed Vi and Jinx’s parents.

Sometimes I feel like people have more sympathy for the Chem Barons because of the whole "what they’ve been through made them like this" narrative, but you completely ignore the fact that they hurt and kill civilians along the way, becoming oppressors to innocent people. This completely misses the point of the series—that there is always a choice in what kind of person you become, (even if you're in an oppressed group) and it’s never too late to change for the better.

It’s okay if ppl can’t forgive Caitlyn’s actions, even though she was willing to die for them. But I smell hypocrisy, especially when they say things like "Jinx never killed civilians." No, she just stood by Silco’s side and helped maintain his power while he got half of Zaun addicted to Shimmer, causing quicker and longer suffering. Good souls can only be exploited and driven to desperation for so long. (also with my slides, I never made Jinx dirty - My slides didn't meant to be a Pro Cait and Anti Jinx post... )

I lost my father to drug addiction—he ended up like the people in Zaun, just skin and bones. We fell into debt trying to get him from one therapy to another, (or what is the right word in english..) so I can relate to that aspect. And yet, I can still sympathize with Jinx and even Silco, despite the fact that they likely ruined countless families forever I can completely see every part of it, even the parts of Silco’s rule that weren’t shown—like how Silco might have sent his goons to collect money from families because, for example, the father was so addicted to Shimmer that he bought it on credit. Later, they’d try to collect the debt from a 10-year-old child who opened the door for them. You can imagine the rest.

Because everyone who upholds that system shares the guilt.

As Ekko and Vi said, under Silco’s rule, it was the worst for civilians. But at least Silco had a brain. The Chem Barons’ power war, like the one after Vander died, would’ve lasted so much longer and caused even more devastation.

How interesting that the strike team never targeted Ekko who didn't exploited civilians?

Also, what do you think who gave them the info that they should strike Margot's place?

It was most likely Vi's suggestion since the topside - thanks to Marcus- still didn't anything specific about the Chem Barons.

Ekko AGREED to use The GREY to neutralize the Chem-Barons.

Here's the analysis:

False, one-page or one-sentence ragebait posts always spread faster than detailed content, even though, to get an accurate picture, it's important to examine the details, not just take something out of context without meaning. If you're interested, you can find more in-depth analyses on my profile, such as why it was Heimerdinger, whose 200 years of neglect and inaction created the entire conflict between Zaun and Piltover.

Thank you for reading it!

[whumblr]

Losing battles, winning wars

Crossed out - Continued from ch.11 - Prologue

-

“A visitor?”

Ava brought up her agenda for the day, pressing the phone to her ear with her shoulder. Sure enough, she hadn’t missed anything; the only thing scheduled for the upcoming hour was a quick meet with Sarah. No outside clients for today. With half an eye still on the file in her hand and the phone in the other, the name the receptionist gave her didn’t fully register through her surprise—and annoyance.

“Yes, ma’am, he is—"

“Tell him I don’t do walk-ins, Fletcher, and that he can make an appointment like the rest of the world.”

A soft rustle sounded, as if Fletcher turned away from his visitor and cupped a hand to the phone. “He says he’s police,” he whispered, “and that it’s urgent.”

Ava didn’t bother repressing an annoyed sigh. “Send him up, then. I’ll give him ten minutes.”

Police… she mused when she put the phone back in its holder, a little more forceful than necessary. Not uncommon given her line of work and the defendants they represented, but usually handled through the right networks and with the right communication. Given this deviance – and the ambush – she had a feeling she knew what this was about.

The USB drive Lucas had given her was snugly plugged in her laptop. She removed it, put it in a drawer, and closed all digital files still open. Unreasonable, she knew that, not like he was going to tell by glancing at the stick what was on it or get anywhere near her computer, but still.

A knock on the glass door interrupted her musings and she turned.

“Ava.” Her secretary, already a girl of small stature, stepped aside in the doorway, dwarfed by the man she was escorting. “Mr Mathison.”

The man gave a polite nod and smile at the girl in thanks and she didn’t seem uncomfortable in his presence.

Ava, however, put on her game-face to hide her surprise. She had seen this man before. Leading a pack of black-clad armed men into a theatre. Marching back out with a bloodied Lucas.

He was wearing the same long black coat as he had then, a white dress shirt underneath and wearing black slacks. Given his clothes, here in the business district he could pass as a cunning lawyer or business man – probably what he was going for in public – and if she’d passed him in the lobby, she wouldn’t think twice about that assumption. But his manner and poise – the at ease stance with his hands behind his back – betrayed a little something else. And, well, having seen him having a bloodied man carried out of a public theatre might skew her judgement. Despite his attempt at this ‘disguise’, it was clear up close that this man was law enforcement through and through.

Not to mention she had done her research. Or rather, Lucas’ research, combined with some searches of her own. She was well aware this was the man Lucas suspected of murder, a man in charge of a prison, probably holding Lucas in custody. Illegal custody.

“Mr Mathison,” she echoed her secretary, but with a hint of ice in her tone. Time was precious after all, especially if it was taken from you like this.

“Ms Akwebe,” Mathison returned the greeting with a slight nod, his voice a deep rumble.

He shook her hand, less firm than she’d expected, and he immediately took a step back, making sure to keep a distance. The gesture seemed polite, but to Ava it seemed calculated. A façade that he merely kept up to compensate for his intimidating presence and that now clashed with how he’d bulldozered his way in here.

“Thank you for meeting me. I understand I am taking up your time so I’d like to get straight to business.”

He sat down on the sofa without waiting for an invitation. And just before he settled down, something caught Ava’s eye and she bristled with suppressed fury.

“Mr Mathison, you’ve either got a lot of guts or a lot of issues carrying that into my office.”

She nodded at the slight bulge next to his chest, under his coat, where she’d noticed his shirt had crinkled in a way that seemed familiar.

He didn’t seem bothered, didn’t adjust his coat nor moved and merely gave a polite smile. “Well spotted.”

“Do I need to call security in here?”

“I do not believe that is necessary. After all, they cleared me at the entrance as I have a concealed carry permit. I do apologise if it makes you uncomfortable.”

While anger was a form of discomfort, bubbling up inside her chest, she would never let it show. She had remained standing behind the other couch, perhaps an unconscious manner of creating some distance between them. But before he could notice and add to her ‘discomfort’ she walked around and sat directly across from him. This was a power play through and through; showing up assuming she’d make time for him, carrying a gun into her office.

“I assume you’re here about Lucas,” she said, not wanting to give the man a way to beat around the bush. After all, ten minutes is ten minutes.

“I am,” he said. “You are his supervisor?”

“I don’t supervise, mr Mathison. I lead a team of skilled people and I need them to be competent enough to work independently, without me holding their hand along the way.“

“Maybe it you hadn’t just held his hand but actively pulled him back we wouldn’t be here.”

“I don’t like what you’re implying.”

He held up his hands. “My apologies. You are aware what the charges are against him?”

“Helping a client with some less than scrupulous advice.”

“Yes. We are under the impression that he was acting independently, so none of that rubs off on you or the other people here.”

“Which client?” Ava pressed, and she expected him to blink and go ‘what?’ in that fake polite voice of his but the man didn’t hesitate at all.

“Unfortunately I cannot tell you that. The investigation is still pending and I can’t name names. I’m sure you can understand.”

“I need to know to make sure others don’t fall for the same trap.”

“I can assure you this person will never walk into this building to seek legal or other unscrupulous assistance again. Should that change, I will be the first to give you a heads up.”

He was quite invested in this fake story. While Ava was more interested in the real story and the illegal detainment. But she was stuck there. She couldn’t ask, couldn’t hint, couldn’t press. She’d only oust herself and paint a clear target on her back. So against her principles, she had to relent and allow him a win here. She’d strike when the time was right.

“We think he acted independently,” Mathison said again when she sat back on the sofa, “but I wanted to ask you if you noticed anything… different about his behaviour the weeks before his arrest.”

How antsy he was, bolting out of the building at random times, working overtime once his regular work files had been finished – though uncharacteristically rushed –  clearly exhausted but working like a possessed man? While she’d hated him ambushing her at the theatre, at least it cleared the fog and he had finally confided in her. “Nothing unusual,” she lied.

“You were with him the day of his arrest.”

Ah, so that’s why he was here. Combed through security footage, now, had he. She could turn him away with a single word; merely as warden this man did not have the jurisdiction to get involved with any investigation. But doing so wouldn’t get her anywhere, it would only give her a mental win while what she needed were answers.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“We were at the theatre. We were seeing a movie.”

“Which movie?”

“The journey to Mars.”

“Did you plan this trip?”

“We happened to meet inside.” Close enough to the truth with him ambushing her.

“Did he give you anything?”

“Cash for my niece to get snacks.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nothing else.” An enormous headache, sure, but probably not as bad as his own when they’d carried him out, near-unconscious. A tinge of rage twisted in her stomach.

He asked several more questions and she answered with as little information as she could but still enough and being cooperative, to make sure that, first, he’d believe she was no threat, and second, to never have him ‘visit’ again for more follow-up questions. At the end, he seemed satisfied and at ten minutes sharp, he stood, thanked her for her time and left as sudden as he’d announced his arrival.

Ava dropped back on the sofa, still whirling from this force of nature that had just blown through.

A knock on the door again, this time from a welcome visitor.

“That was him?” A blonde woman, carrying a stack of files almost reaching her chin, walked into the office. Sarah, the person she actually had a meeting with and who probably had hovered awkwardly in the hallway, carrying pounds of paperwork and waiting for them to finish up.

Ava nodded and sat back with a sigh, gesturing for her to sit down. “That was him.”

With a heavy thud Sarah dropped the stack of files on the table in-between the two sofas. She looked back, as if she could still see the imposing man retreating out the door. “Seems like a handful.”

“You have no idea… What did you want to discuss?”

“You asked me to look into the financial aspects of the prison. His prison.” She nodded back.

“What did you find?”

Sarah scattered a number of files over the table and opened one of them. “Mostly what you’d expect to find. There are, however, monthly recurring transfers that aren’t from the government or charities or corporations, but from private persons or institutions. Booked as donations.”

“Is that uncommon?”

“Not in itself, but it is in this amount and usually donations are one-off. So, I looked into some of the names and that’s where it starts to get odd. I recognised some of the cases connected—” she pulled out two files from under the others and opened one, pointed at the name, “— this one, rather obvious, connected to the local mob, so that’s enough to make you wonder. But this one—” she opened the other file and tapped the name at the top of the page, “—Newport, government family who lost a son in that hit-and-run a few years back, whole thing was splashed over the news.”

“I remember. High profile case. They donated? The family?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Multiple times?”

“Over multiple years.”

“Are we sure these donations are voluntary?”

“No. But it seems they are.”

Ava furrowed a brow. “Are they donating or paying…?” she pondered out loud.

“Donating to keep their son’s killer incarcerated?”

A far reach. Something she absolutely would have dismissed before. Before she had read Lucas’ research on the prison.

She didn’t want to speculate too much. Get the facts first, they will point out a pattern and confirm their hypotheses or not. “Good find, Sarah. Run through all the names behind the donations. Double check them with the names of inmates – ask Robin for help with that, he’s looking into that – see if some are connected to the mob or rivalling factions, families connected to any crimes or victims—”

“Everything.” Sarah nodded, already ahead of her. “I’m on it.” She stood, but lingered near the door. “Any word on Lucas?”

“Nothing. All silent on the front.”

Sarah bit her lip, gave a solemn nod but her eyes blazed with determination, and turned back to her own desk.

Ava looked at the stack of files in front of her. A wry smile formed at her lips and the same determination lit in her eyes.

You may think the world bends to you, Mr Mathison, but that’s going to snap back at you some time.

Backing down was not her style, but she knew damn well when to pull back a little for the sake of winning in the long run. She wasn’t sure she’d parried all of his suspicions but even if he weren’t fully convinced they weren’t involved, he couldn’t do a thing about it. They were all involved. And they were coming for him, and coming for Lucas.

She opened the file Sarah put on top of the stack, settled in for work, and read the top line.

Newport v Georgiou.

-

Tag list: @gala1981 @chaotic-orphan @lolrpop @andithewhumper @tippytappytyping

@suspicious-whumping-egg @cherrychupachup @alexmundaythrufriday @defire @withdrawingramen

@light-me-on-pyre @treasureguardingdragon @notactuallyluska @fortunately-cool-penguin

[josgalaxy]

MY PERSONAL RANKING OF BALDUR'S GATE 3 COMPANIONS FROM WORST TO BEST (spoiler alert!!!)

Of course this is just my humble and personal opinion, let me know if you agree! Trigger warning, I have a lot to say:

11. The Emperor

I know he's not technically a companion, but let's be honest, he is with Tav since day one. Let's just say this one is a shady bitch. From the get go I didn't trust the Emperor, and going forward with the game my suspicions were confirmed. Not only he literally exploited everyone that could help him reach his goals, but he shows no true loyalty to anyone but to himself.

Proof that the Emperor is just a gaslighting bastard: 1. Lied to the whole party by changing his appearence to seem more trustworthy 2. Killed his dragon bestie Ansur that was just trying to find a cure for him. 3. Kept a Gith prince imprisoned to exploit his power and was willing to eat his brains out to get more powerful. 4. Tried to sleep with Tav and secure their trust (btw, a kinky bitch). 5. LITERALLY SIDED WITH THE BIG BAD NETHERBRAIN as soon as Tav was not okay being manipulated anymore (like babygirl, you spent the entire game telling me we had to kill that thing and now you're ending up siding with it? Excuse me??)

So, yes, The Emperor deserves to rot and I was very happy to fry that calamari.

10. Minsc (and Boo)

So, I haven't played bg2, so I don't have that kind of attachment to the old characters. I don't mind that he is juts this brainless hunk, and I like the fact that he carries a cute hamster with him. He kinda reminds me of Kronk, and I love Kronk so he gets a few points for that. But other than some muscles, dumb jokes, and Boo, what else is there?

Let's just say that he made me smile a couple of times, but I got bored of him (but not the hamster) almost instantly.

9. Jaheira

Same here folks, I appreciate Jaheira but I don't feel that attached to her as the rest of the companions (probably because of the fact that she and Minsc are introduced in the game quite late). I mean, you get this badass milf Elf (mother is mothering) that can turn into a panther and has a cute accent... how can you not like her? But do I find her as interesting as other chatacters in the game? Not really.

I would probably share a drink with the tho, to hear all the stories from back in her day.

8. Wyll

Before any of you come for me for putting The Blade of the Frontier this low, let me explain. I like Wyll, I like the fact that he is a dancer, he's romantic, and that his main goal is to help people. I mean, he made a pact with a literal devil to save his city! Don't get me wrong, I think I would be friends with him irl, but as for character growth and depth, I think he passes off to be more bland than the rest of the companions, probably for his too goody two shoes attitude.

Let's just say if he was a spice, he would be flour. Sorry.

7. Minthara

You see, a long time ago my first playthrough, when I met Minty, I seriously contemplated killing all the Tieflings just to be with her. This is just to let you have an idea of the hold this woman has on me. HAVE YOU SEEN HER? Apart from being a hottie, and incredibly useful in combat as a paladin, she is hilarious without even trying. When you see an [ ! ] over her head you know for a fact she is about to tell something UNHINGED. I'm gagging.

Anyway, just so you know I haven't sacrified the tieflings to recruit her. I'm not a monster. I simply knocked mommy out and found her in Moonrise Towers.

6. Lae'zel

I believe Giths and Drows are quite similar: they both crave violence and see any kind of kindness and compassion as weaknesses. But what makes Lae'zel a better character than Minthara, is the fact that she evolves from her prejudices and violence, while the drow doesn't. She starts off as this ruthless and closeminded character, but later on she learns to challenge authority and her tyrant, save her people, find compassion in others and fall in love.

I think her romance is one of the best ones in the game. It starts off as a simple one night stand where she tries to dominate you, pure physical, but then she starts to soften and open up to Tav. I mean the rooftop scene where she calls you Source of my Joy?? Sounds more like Bae'zel to me.

5. Gale of Waterdeep

To be honest, Gale is literally my type irl: a hot scruffy nerd whose ideal Saturday night is reading a book and drinking some wine in front of the fireplace. Also, he has a cat! He is a bit of yapper, I know, but I find him quite charming, even though he eats magical boots from time to time in order not to explode and kill everyone in the vicinity

I believe Gale had the potential to be a heart-throb, but the only thing that gave me the ick about him, was the fact that he is too obsessed with his ex! I get it, she is the goddess of magic, but that doesn't change the fact the she literally groomed him since he was a child. He was willing to go full Manhattan Project just to get her approval. You are cute magic man, but you need to get over your ex.

4. Halsin

May the Oakfather protect me. He is such a dreamboat. He is kind and forgiving with everyone, loves animal and nature - duh, is great with kids, and let's not forget he is absolutely gigantic (points for him). He even carves out a wooden duck for you at the end, so cute! I love the fact that he knows his boundaries and is particularly attentive to respect everyone, like when he flirts with Tav but will wait for them to speak with their partner in order to have an open relationship.

I know he may not have the same depth some other characters have, but who cares?? Teddy Bear over here is fine as he is. What can I say, I'm a sucker for big men that try to be gentle.

3. Shadowheart

Shar's favourite Princess is one of my favourite characters in the game. She starts off as being wary and skeptical about Tav, but she quickly opens up as soon as one shows her kindness. Which is heartbreaking since she led her life following the Lady of Loss, hence without any kindness or compassion. Her backstory is particulary well made, so that you can truly see her growth: from standoffish, she ends up being such a goofy and sweet character. From putting all her faith in a goddess that has literally taken everything from her, she then learns how to discover herself and prioritise her feelings for the first time. I love that for her.

She is quite frustraing sometimes since she keeps missing in combat, but we love our emo babygirl anyway.

2. Astarion

So, the only reason I didn't put Astarion in first place, is because I know for a fact that in real life I would LOATHE the man. But we're not irl, so his gaslighting and manipulative tricks are overshadowed by his witty answers, his flirtatious expressions and the incredible velvety voice of his (thanks Neil Newbon). And to think that I thought I had successfully avoided the Vampire phase... well, I hadn't met this diva right here.

His backstory is one of the most heartbreaking, and with the right choices, I believe he can grow more than any other companion, which is why he is such a fan favourite among the fans. He starts off as being a vain and manipulative twink, but as you get to know of his past and the horrible things he has been through, you realise he is simply a victim that doesn't know any better.

I just love his confession scene to Tav: "I had a nice, simple plan - seduce you and manipulate your feelings. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you... which is where my nice simple plan fell apart." EXCUSE ME?? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT??

1. Karlach

She's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Karlach officially is the most likable companion of this messy rank. From the first moment you meet her, it's so difficult not to fall in love with this fireball of energy and kindness. Her backstory is probably the saddest of them all: a hopeful kid that gets betrayed and forced to live with a deadly engine that will one day burn her from the inside, like a tragic metaphor for an illness.

She is also smocking hot (and not just because she is literally burning), I mean, the tats, the muscles, the badass hair and half horn?? Child, she ate and left no crumbs. She is a total smokeshow, and despite her bubbly personality she is not afraid to be a bit sexy and flirtatious. Can we talk about the: "I wanna ride you 'till you see stars" YES MA'AM, PLEASE MA'AM.

But in spite of everything bad that has happened to her, Karlach is always smiley, loves her friends deeply and uses every moment to be a goofball and dance around. She is too pure for this world, which is why you feel that her horrible fate is particularly unfair to someone like Karlach. To be honest, her scene in the harbour after defeating the brain is heartbreaking.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So folks, here it is my personal ranking from least to most likable companions of Baldur's Gate 3.

Let me know what do you think!

[tater-tot-jr]

Why I fucking love Project: Eden’s Garden chapter 1

(Spoilers below… duh)

I think I should start this by explaining exactly why I love Project: Eden’s Garden, but I’ll make it brief. I find every character interesting, even characters I’m less interested in like Jett or Mark still have a level of depth that makes me want to pick at them. I’ll highlight standout characters later, but I’ll be upfront that I don’t think P:EG contains a character that’s less than a 6 out of 10. They’re all at least slightly above average (compared to their competition).

I also like the theming. The religious imagery leaves a lot to pick at and the animal motifs are a classic way to convey information. The game has very strong ideas and aesthetic and that makes it’s more… metaphorical moments easy to follow even for an average player. Like me personally I’m a dumbass but I can usually tell what they’re doing, so that’s a big plus.

And on a more pragmatic side, the production is incredible. This makes a seamless experience to both watch and play. A lot of Fangans are hindered by low production value, as is the nature of these things. I don’t need everything I love to look spotless, but the pure amount of talent and work used on P:EG makes it standout. Also it makes it a rather safe thing to get invested in. Like it or not 95% of fangans fizzle out quickly after they begin. Again, it’s just the nature of these things. This seems like something that is poised to continue long term, but maybe I’ll end up eating my words. Who knows?

Anyway, that’s out of the way.

General thoughts

I’m going to separate my thoughts into sections. Starting with my general opinions on the chapter specifically.

One of my biggest worries going into this chapter is that Damon’s blowout at the end of the prologue would be used as a motivation for other characters to hate him for longer than necessary. We as an audience know he’s right. He was, for however much of a dick he was being, almost entirely correct. I was afraid people would keep bitching at him about it after he was proven soundly correct. Luckily this did not happen, and I was pleasantly surprised by how they handled it. Most characters did not like him at the start, they thought he was an asshat causing trouble (and to be fair he kinda was) but they didn’t want to lock him in a shed about it. It was actually mostly a mellow feeling of dislike and frustration that permeates peoples opinions of him. Obviously some people more than others. I like this because it sidesteps the three chapters of petty bullshit I was afraid would happen. Most people’s concerns about him were logical and reasonable. The cast even made an effort to include him and things and didn’t leave him out to dry. He still has a bad reputation, but the rest of the cast keeping a level head about it was fun. Some fangans have protagonists who are untrusting, rude, ect and they typically miss a lot of bonding time with the cast because of it. The decisions made in reaction to Damon’s words at the end of the prologue both set Damon on a clear arc without hindering our ability to bond with characters, and strengthen our perception of the remaining cast as people who aren’t needlessly petty and selfish.

Side note, one of the things I noticed quickly was that at the beginning of the chapter Damon wouldn’t refer to people by their names in his inner monologue. “Streamer girl” “influencer guy” ect ect. This slowly changing as people talk to him more was a subtly but impactful way to see him slowly becoming a tad bit more thoughtful.

Each character got at least some spotlight. Some more than others but everyone got a chance to do something special. There’s a reason to like every character beyond their general vibes, which is something even the og Danganronpa games struggled with. Every character has a moment in this chapter where they got to be memorable. I appreciate that. Some games have obvious filler characters, and while this game is no exception, they at least give their filler some substance. Everyone has a presence we can appreciate before it’s gone.

I liked how many free time events we got. That’s generous. Some games are too stingy on free time imo. I want to learn about these people. Let me learn about their life, let me learn what gifts that like. Games trying to freak you out and remind you how little time you have by being cheap with free time is annoying. And it has the opposite effect that is desired. Let me care about your characters damnit.

The events we got, all the pharmacy searching, the laundry, sharing a room with Kai, ect. These were all fun. None of them felt boring or stale or anything. There’s not a grander point to be made with this. I just had fun. That’s the number one priority imo.

The comedy hit surprisingly hard. Everyone had a moment to be funny. It didn’t get cringe (in my opinion) it just stayed humorous. I’m glad the game didn’t take an 100% serious tone and gave us a few moments to breathe and laugh.

The trial

I enjoyed this trial. From a storytelling standpoint it was easy to follow and the mystery was complex without ever being too hard to understand. The minigames had a reasonably difficultly to them. I had to pause and think a few times but I never had to resort to trying totally random bullshit. Maybe I made a few guesses, but I never started trying every combination to find the answer. They presented a very complex mystery in a very digestible way.

However, I do have a brief complaint. It’s not a massive issue, but it gave me pause. The whole “we were all playing games it couldn’t have been us rock” solid alibi turning into “it has to have been one of us” was not well disguised. It’s very classic danganronpa. So much that after the blackout my first thought was “okay, which one of you did it”. A few hours into the trial when we got everything about the notes luring people to places at specific times, and I remembered Eva picked the time for the game tournament I pretty quickly zero’d in on her. I very quickly became “I know it’s you. It’s definitely you. I don’t know how to prove it.” Which was fun, i guess. It’s an intro chapter so it’s not big issue, but I hope going forward they don’t make it quite so easy to pinpoint a culprit before the murder is even solved.

This opinion might be my most controversial, but I like the killer and victim choices. I’ve heard a lot of people claim they jumped the shark. They killed the two big characters too early. There’s so much wasted potential, it makes them sick. All that. I disagree. Kinda. Let’s start with the easy one. Eva served her purpose. She was a good character. Lying about being the ultimate liar? Based. But her reveal happened, and honestly I’m shocked they could prolong it for as long as they did. She was not making it past chapter one with that under wraps. Turns out she didn’t make it past chapter one at all, but the point remains. We learn her deal, and the game pushes you to spend free time on her, so we learn a good chunk of her past. I don’t think she would’ve served as much besides an interesting assistant if she was kept alive. We don’t need a Kyoko, Damon is competent enough on his own. The game made her close to us, and took her away when she ran out of anything besides being liked. It’s a good emotional moment. We liked her, and then she betrayed us. Betrayed us in many ways. My favorite moment in the trial was her snitching on us about the motives. I like it when killers don’t go gracefully, I like it when they have impact like that. And that execution, that’s gonna stick with me. I heard people say it was underwhelming, I disagree. As someone who loves all things angst, whump, and gore the sheer desperation makes to hard to watch. Reaching up for the hand when she was so close, she could’ve just kept crawling, and for the hand to be a trap is wonderfully poetic. You know she was falling down thinking that she could’ve just kept going.

As for the victim. Wolfgang was a character I found interesting, so I was sad to see him go. I won’t even lie, it’s thrown the game on its head. We all made the assumption this game would be a power struggle between ugly truths and pleasant lies. We got the rug pulled out from under us. Wolfgang also had a brutal death. Electrocution isn’t fun, and his final moments were surrounded by what was probably terrifying hallucinations. It’s just fucking awful. Seeing him lose his composure before death hurt like that, and I assume he’ll have some impact with the whole parents situation. He was supposed to be a stable force and we’re all reeling because he got taken away by our other stable force.

I’d also like to mention Diana, as she was closely involved. Watching someone die like that is traumatic, being locked in the room with their corpse during a blackout is even more so. Everything involving her is the reason I don’t feel much sympathy for Eva, only pity. It was a totally ruthless and cruel act for Eva to set her up like that, and it wasn’t necessary. She wanted someone easy to frame, Diana didn’t actually need to be there for the plan to work. And if Diana wasn’t there it would’ve been less complicated for her as well. It’s a bloodthirsty. I pity Eva because I can see why she came to the conclusions she did and felt the way she did, but her actions were horrible. Point blank. Cruel and awful. She wasn’t forced to take Tozu’s deal, I admit Tozu certainly both made it with her in mind and approached her at her lowest point, but it was still her choice. She’s accountable for her actions and I really don’t feel much sympathy. Also, Eva being tempted by Tozu’s deal. Eve being tempted by Satan’s forbidden fruit. Haha. Neat.

My favorite characters

Damon - I have something I must confess. I’m a bit of a debate bro. I know, I know, shame on me. I just really like to fight on the internet, okay? I’m pretty sure Damon was designed in a lab to appeal to me specifically. He’s a master debater, he’s a little fruity, he hates all yall. He’s just like me fr. I think he’s a good protagonist, he’s got an interesting complex about feeling better than everyone and then immediately getting that stomped on, he’s so certain he’s correct that he has trouble making himself sound super likable. Even when he’s right. As he’s chilled out he’s gotten better at this, and frankly I’m excited to see where his arc goes. A protagonist like him is always fun, he’s easy to anger sometimes, prone to disregarding the feelings of others, and quite pessimistic. He’s very proactive, testing the rules and talking to Tozu really made me appreciate how much he actually tries to do. It seems so obvious that Tozu would love to yap about his motive, I can’t believe i never even considered the possibility of someone just asking him. His internal monologue is pure comedy. Him falling asleep thinking about that “stupid lawyer” made me put down the game to laugh. And he really stepped up in the trial. He’s my son, he’s neat. Him clearly loving his mom and dad is also a nice humanizing touch.

Wenona - …I have another confession to make. I’m weak for a woman who’s only morally bankrupt. She didn’t have very many crazy standout moments, but every time she said anything you know I was cheering. Favorite character, hope she doesn’t die soon. Everyone wigging out over the student profiles while she’s just like reading them in the corner was so damn funny. Girl, do you have no chill?

Tozu - I love Tozu, I think he’s an excellent mastermind. He went to college for a villainy major and took a minor in theatre while he was there. Bro is the spectacle. He is the moment. He’s serving cunt whenever he’s on screen. I also like that he’s clearly a person, mentally as well as physically. He plays favorites, he’s sadistic, he’s methodical, he’s terrifying. He’s having the best time, and it’s a welcome change of pace. I was getting a little sick of robot mastermind. Yes yes sue me, but it’s fun to have a mastermind not running on ai and actually interacts with the cast in a human way.

And that’s kinda all I have (for now) knowing me I’ll probably be back.

[excalibutt]

(Condensing the reblogs because this was getting very long)

10 People I would like to put in the crab bucket and see if is truly their nature to drag each other down or help each other out get to know better

Tagged By: who-is-hex

Last Song Listened to: Sailor Song by Gigi Perez

Favorite Color: Green. Hunter Green, Forest Green, Irish Green, Celedon, Shamrock, Glass, Grass, Olive, Military or Mossy Green... usually more blue than yellow in tone. But I love Greens.

Last Book Read: I've been reading Tenzig Norgay and the Sherpas of Everest by Tashi Tenzing, but I will more than likely be rereading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke soon.

Last Movie: A Muppet Christmas Carol. Look. I'm a person of mulitfacited complexity. I like muppets. Sue me.

Last Show: Arcane, but shoutout to that really long video essay breaking down why Tears of the Kingdom was a bad zelda sequel. It validated my feelings a lot.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory! Favorite flavors lately have been Feta, Greens, rosemary, saurkraut... this time of year is so full of sweet that I really crave savory. But if I were to choose sweet, Maple, Vanilla, abd Peppermint are my favorite things. Spicy is also amazing. A little zing wakes up your mouth and a lot of zing cures your cold.

Last Thing I googled: "Trostky Jewish Deli NYC" Partner asked me if I knew about the communist who didn't tip. I had to double check it was Leon Trostsky and I was RIGHT.

Current Obsession: Longstanding ones have been Pathologic, Arthurian Legends, Mt. Everest/Chomolungma and the Sherpas. More recent ones have been indie games like Slay the Princess, Signalis, and I'm just now getting into Hylics. I also dabble with Disco Elysium and Arcane.

Looking Forward To: My partner/cowriter visiting me in Feb/March! Playing weekly Elden Ring with my dear friend, Pathologic 3, hopefully Dybowski experiencing tangible consequences of some kind, continuing a playthrough of Sorry We're Closed with my friend @belaythatfuckery, getting the next chapter of my longfic done hopefully soonish...

Tagging: @permian-tropos, @belaythatfuckery @inkpot-demigod I saw you got tagged earlier but I'm doing it again, @farrenlux, @sharkrocket, @srrrokka, @wiltking, @indigos-observatory @fennelwasp, @hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us

Ten people I’d like to know better!

Tagged by: @eternalmomentss (pinky responding to a tag game?? Unheard off)

Last song: god games cus wah epic is so cool and I can’t wait for the last saga

Favourite color: despite common believe it is not Pink. My favourite color is yellow. Everything in my life must be yellow

Last book: the haunting of hill house, (still haven’t finished it:,) )

Last movie: look back! (Watched it together with my brother)

Last tv show: wel the newest helluva boss episode just came out so I watched that (that’s a YouTube series I GEUSS but it counts to me)

Sweet/spicy/savoury: bitter

Relationship status: in a relationship for the bit (/j I’m very single)

Last thing I googled: the weather (boring ass answer but I live in the Netherlands okay, it rains allot😭😭)

Current obsession: I Geuss dream smp? I’m kinda in between things but I’ve been doing a dream smp rewatch for the nostalgia

Looking forward to: traveling to Scotland at the end of this month to hang out with friends>:)!!

Tagging next:

@ianthewife @liefdesleven @lycanthrowup (hi Rane!) @unbloodiedmartyr @molarcupcake @tiabwwtws-art @disastrousfeline @melandrops @dumptruckofanass @notactuallyahat @lights-at-night @mizuthe-cat @3584-tropical-fish @garfieldpinkeye @initial-lime @honeydoe12

(Oh gosh I tagged way too many, no pressure to anyone! Also still wish I could add more lol, so many cool mutuals)

(Funfact: the reason I almost never respond to tagging games is because I’m too scared to tag people and forget a cool mutual :,) )

[overmystars]

The Until Dawn cast and Mario Kart Wii... I pondered very long and very hard about this question... and return bearing real and true answers (headcanons and rambles ⬇️)

Beth: Insane MKWii goddess. Grew up on the game and played constantly. Put lots of time into learning a handful of ultra shortcuts and sometimes pisses everybody off by using these just for fun. The group can count on one hand the amount of times she hasn't gotten 1st. Can efficiently use any controller, but prefers the Wii classic controller. Put crazy time trials on every single track that remain unbeaten to this day. Not that Josh would ever beat them even if he could. She'll always be remembered through the ghosts she left. Josh has thought about booting the game up just to drive around with her again but... hasn't

Hannah: Prefers coin runners to racing. Peach main as soon as Beth became a Daisy main (matchies) chose the prettiest vehicle and is sticking with it <3 didn't play nearly as much as her siblings but did spend many hours watching both Beth and Josh grind glitches/time trials and stars. Wii wheel user!

Josh: Really good at this game. He can get fiercely competitive too, depending on who else is playing. Otherwise he's chill. Played almost as much as Beth did- and spent hours and hours trying to get stars on every cup to unlock Dry Bowser. He refused any help from Beth and celebrated for a week when he finally did it. Prefers how Jr feels to play and breaks him out when he's feeling particularly competitive but otherwise sticks to Dry Bowser because he's not letting that effort go to waste. Changes controller based on who he's racing, to "make it easier for you". Prefers the GameCube controller

Sam: Rarely ever places below 4th. She also grew up on this game through the Washingtons and has lots of fond memories spending sleepovers with it and the siblings. She's very humble, and doesn't usually say anything when getting 1st. She grins though (Josh loves that grin). Always down for battle mode! Plays with the Wii remote + nunchuck

Chris: Winning the custody battle over Rosalina with Emily. Usually when Em is also playing he doesn't get first dibs. So he goes Waluigi and mimics him every time he has a voice line. Funny at first but now it drives everyone (except Josh who joins in) insane. More and more often Em lets him have Rosalina just to spare herself from the constant Waluigi impressions. He's either really good or really bad depending on the tracks and typical MKWii luck. Goes for super fast vehicles with like no other good stats and either flies through courses and has super easy victories or has the worst time and comes dead last. Uses the GameCube controller

Ashley: Bad luck magnet. Hit by every shell. Trips on every banana. Once she used a bullet while over a gap and it just carried her into the abyss instead of saving her. She hasn't let this go and it happened 2 years ago. Vibes with Toadette and chooses her in any game she's an option. Also prefers coin runners and is usually content to just watch the others play. Another Wii wheel user!

Emily: Losing the custody battle over Rosalina with Chris. Goes with Birdo as an alternative. Is arguably even better when playing her. She was immediately amazing the first time she played. Gets really really competitive and Beth and Josh love the challenge and the intensity that comes with Emily's gloating and high confidence. Doesn't play the game outside of when at the Washington's but knows a good few shortcuts and tricks because she spent hours looking into it when she got home to ensure victory in the future. Plays with the Wii classic controller

Matt: Likes balloon battle and always pushes for team racing. Pretty average player. His character/kart combo is so light that he often gets bumped onto the off-road and pits, but he refuses to change. That's just a little guy right there in his little car! Something Matt appreciates. Really really insane on Rainbow Road for some reason. While being a Wii wheel user! Beth and Josh don't get how that's possible and hype him up every time

Mike: (Unknowingly at first) uses the best character/kart combo. Still gets 6th or lower 74% of the time. Always really cocky for some reason. Uses the plain Wii remote without the wheel (where is your whimsy, Michael?)

Jess: She got 1st once and brings this up any time anyone makes fun of her for hitting every possible obstacle. Still usually does better than Mike and is super vocal while playing, commenting on everything that happens. Wii remote + nunchuck

[strngegirl]

a/n: an intermission for the other thing im working on (my first request giggles) because it'll take a while with how hectic my life is rn <\3 // just trying to get my head back in the writing game so this isn't too stimulating (⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)

cw: gn!reader x choso, angst i think, mildly suggestive (mentions of sex), reader cheats on husband with choso, choso doesn't care, choso really loves reader, reader doesn't love him like that, choso is pathetic and a little sad, choso pov.

wc: somewhere around and a little over 1k i think?

❝Hold me, console me, and then I'll leave without a trace.❞ ——— THE MARÍAS, 'NO ONE NOTICED'.

Winter, the coldest season all year round. A season where snow falls, children get giddy about the fact that Santa will break into their house and gift them their dream presents for being a 'good kid' this year, people get ready for the epilogue of yet another year. Basically, it's a season that's celebrating the end of the year, and the start of a new one.

But Choso finds that he feels rather empty, despite all the activities he's doing with his brothers.

He doesn't wanna blame you, but... He's acutely aware the reason why he's feeling so down is because of you.

After Yuki told Choso to go live as a human, you were the first human connection he made. He went to a bar to try out alcohol, and then you slid into the seat next to his, introducing yourself. Conversation with you flew smoothly like silk, and even with his lack of understanding of everything in general, you were so patient with him. You didn't ridicule him, you didn't mock him, you taught him. What Choso didn't know, you explained. He liked that you treated him as an equal that just has a lot of questions, and you didn't look at him weirdly nor belittle him like some other people he's interacted with prior.

That's also one of the reasons why he followed you home, so enamored with you he hardly notices the framed pictures of you and a man together hanging in the corridors of your home, or the shiny ring on your finger even as you used that same hand to undress him. All he can focus on is your gentle voice telling him what to do, and your soothing touches that gives him the most pleasure he has ever felt. He let you take his first, let you see him so vulnerably in all his naked glory because he thinks he might be in love. It's foolish, he knows; he doesn't even understand what love is, but with his understanding of it, he knows he feels something for you. Choso doesn't care about the fact you guys just met, he cared about the pleasant scorching sensation you make him feel.

He kept in contact with you, never got mad even when you ghosted him occasionally, although it does make him feel vaguely sick, he doesn't mind. Because it's you. And he gets to share a bed with you when you reply to him sometimes; be it for sex, an ear to listen to or just some company, he'd be there. Anything for you.

And it stays that way even when he finds out that you have a husband. It should make him back off, really, but the thought that even when you're bound to another, you still wanted him made him feel so special. After knowing, he listens to you ranting to him about how your husband goes away for long periods of time and hardly ever pays you the attention you need, and from what you've told him some other times, he doesn't think your husband deserves you. If anything, he thinks he can find a better ring for you, replace the one currently locked around your ring finger like a leech.

But you always avoided any topic involving taking your relationship any further.

Choso tried to take you on a date, of course. Multiple times, actually. His pleas for you to accept always goes on deaf ears, or you just shut it down with a detached "I'll have to take a rain check". He hates it. He wants to go out with you, hold hands with you and do all the things he sees couples do. But you refused to leave your husband, and you don't want to be caught cheating which is terribly ironic because you shamelessly invite him over almost three times each week. It's okay though, he'll listen to you if it means he can stay. Even if it hurts him inside.

It's been approximately four months since he first met you and began this repeated song and dance, and right now he's back in your bed all over again. Both of you lie there underneath the covers on your marital bed, basking in the post coital bliss he's been addicted to ever since the start. The hum of the heater inside your room being the only noise filling the silence that has fallen between you two.

Choso has his head on your chest, his ears pressed against your warm, sticky skin as he listens to the thud of your calming heartbeat. It's music to his ears, one he can listen to for eternity if you'd allow him to.

And as always, he's the one breaking the silence. Because you wouldn't.

"[Name]?" He asks quietly, wide eyes looking up to your face he finds himself loving.

You hum in acknowledgment, fingers meandering through his hair.

"Can we attend the Christmas festival together?" Choso asks you on a date. Again. Despite knowing the answer—

"No, I'm sorry. You know I can't."

—he'd still ask. He still holds onto that sliver of hope, that one in a million chance where you'd say yes to him.

He deflates at the response he had expected, his face slowly turning down to hide into your chest again. And again, it's fine. He doesn't mind.

"I love you." He whispers those three words for the first time ever. He wasn't sure if it'd make you mad or... Or happy. He wishes it would make you happy. Because he knows if you said that to him, he'd be very happy.

Choso feels you tense the moment he utters those words, and as he waits with bated breath for you to reciprocate his words—nothing.

It's okay. As long as you continue to keep him around, he'll be content with you turning him down every time he tries to show you how in love he is with you.

Because you make him feel human.

[ink-stainedkiss]

Love is So Cruel - Yuji Itadori

Synopsis: Your breakup with Yuji was probably one of the worst memories you can think of, even if you dated when you were both so young. Now, both of you have grow and see each other once again at a Christmas party. Outside, Yuji wants to know why he can’t be happy and have you at the same time…

Sigh, you guys have got to hate me. It’s quite literally Christmas Eve and I’m only gifting you sadness. 🙁 the bad thing is I can't stop because angst hurts so bad, but it makes my frontal lobe develope in the right way. Aways, only one more day till Christmas and I promise I will give you all a real gift. Please feel free to comment and request! I love seeing your ideas❤️

Warnings:None, unless you count sadness as a trigger.

Word count: 1.6k

The wind rushed by. Its coldness makes good bumps rise on your skin at the smallest touch. You could be warm, inside with all of your loved ones and friends. A comforting yellow glow illuminated from the house and the light was so enchanting, but you needed to settle something. At first, the party was great. The food was homemade and delicious. A Christmas movie played in the background, something old and familiar that anyone could sit down and watch. Small games were happening in the dining room, gifts were being passed back and forth, and no one was sure what they would get.

It was a beautiful sight, but you weren’t inside to see it. You stood, in the cold, a light jacket providing no warmth, but how could you care about the weather when he was standing right next to you? Even past the small flurries of snow, his light pink hair showed through, looking as bright as it did all those years ago. There was a cup in his hand that he occasionally sipped at. You didn’t have to guess what was in it. You watched him carefully. He looked so grown. He was taller, his shoulder broader, and his teenage features were nothing but a memory. It seemed just yesterday he was bouncing around the school, excited and so naive to exercise curses.

The job kills. Mentally and physically. You were just some of the ‘lucky’ people who had kept all of their limbs. But you weren’t out here to talk about being successful sorcerers. No. Yuji cleared his throat, not daring to look you in the eyes as he said,” So, you and Megumi look happy.”

You can’t stop the soft smile that melts onto your face. You and Megumi had gotten married a little over five months ago and things were going a lot better than expected,” We are.” You were happy, so so happy, but tonight, as Megumi held onto your hips, you had gotten a glimpse of the boy you loved so long ago. His face was showing an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint.

You understood why he wasn’t exactly thrilled that you were dating one of his closest friends, even if your relationship had ended. You understood if you were in his shoes, you would be just as numb. There was no pact. No promise. No soul-binding contract that vowed you would find each other again, so you hadn’t done anything wrong. You had simply…moved on. And you were so sure Yuji had done the same. Before Megumi and you even started dating, you checked Yuji’s posts, finding a gorgeous girl who held tightly too. Sure, at the time you felt how Yuji is feeling now, but you saw no point in grieving over a love that was bound to fall apart.

“Do you remember what you said to me that day?” His voice cut through your thoughts like a heated blade. It stunned you at first, but you slowly made the connection,” I do.” His eyes never left the trees encasing the humble home,” You told me that you will love me forever.” There was no amusement nor sadness in his tone,” And I believed you. I really did.”

You sighed, your breath forming a small cloud of fog,” That doesn’t mean I stopp-“

“Don’t.” He cut you off sharply,” Don’t lie to me. I saw how you looked at him and you never once looked at me like that.” His voice was bitter. Frankly, you scoffed,” We were kids Yuji. I committed to something I didn’t even understand completely. I just didn’t want you to hurt.”

“So you go and marry my best friend?” He spit, his jaw tightening. You inhaled slowly, trying to keep calm,”Did you expect me to just sit around and wish you would come back? I couldn’t do that to myself or Megumi. I had to continue to live.”

There was a reason for these venom-laced words being uttered. You and Yuji’s relationship didn’t end in a pretty way. Yuji had gotten too caught up in the missions and ultimately had forgotten about you and your well-being. So when you would scold him for being reckless, he only found it annoying, and after weeks of petty fights and disagreements, you decided it was time to go on a break. You suggested this in the middle of your guys' worst argument yet. You had already been crying, but when you muttered those words, tears started to flow from Yuji’s eyes.

You hated how he begged you to change your mind. He told you he could change and how much he loved you, but he had said those words before and nothing happened. So as he clung to your body, his tear-stained face in the crook of your neck, you told him the truth.

“I will love you forever. Nothing will stop that.”

A hiccup escaped the poor boy and he held you tighter,” Please, don’t leave me. I'm so sorry for everything I’ve done, just don’t go.”

Your heart panged harshly. Oh, how you wished he could turn his desperation into hate. His broken voice and deep sobs were some of the worst sounds you had ever heard. They made your skin crawl, your hands clamping into tight first, and worst of all, they made this so much harder. How easy it would be if Yuji were to despise your living being. Maybe then you could get through this.

Unbeknownst to you, amid your silence replaying the scene, a single tear streamed down your face and you quickly wiped it off. Love was so cruel. It felt nice to float above the clouds, soak in those mesmerizing sunsets and rises, but suddenly, the screen of ultraviolet was torn from your vision and as you looked down, you realized you were free-falling toward the cold and dark earth. Alas, you had already been crushed.

Slowly you turned your head, gazing longingly at the people inside, and you told yourself it was time to go. For the first time that night, you looked at Yuji willingly,” I’m sorry, again.” He made no comment, but you weren’t looking for one,” Maybe in another universe we could have worked out.”

You turned, body screaming to be free from the freezing temperatures, but in the blink of an eye, you were being forced back towards Yuji, who had grabbed your hand all too quickly. He held you close, your bodies touching. The warmth he was producing was almost soothing, but you didn’t move an inch. You stared up into his eyes and it was as if he had been rejuvenated and you were looking at the same Yuji you held onto that night. Even in the darkly lit area, you could see the sadness welling in his eyes.

“Why not this one?” His voice cracked and you felt a wave of Deja Vu. His eyes searched so desperately for an answer, but you couldn't find one. At least one that could give him peace. It was a soul-shattering display. To see someone so determined to be strong for the people he cared about, being torn apart by losing the only one he loved. If you couldn't see how much you meant to him then, then you surely saw it now.

Guilt was eating away at you and it only got worse as he tried to pull back the tear falling from his eye. Instinctively, you cupped his cheek, your thumb wiping away the droplet and caressing his tired face. You loathed how he leaned into your palm, needing some sort of affection, even as the sparks of hope flickered out.

“I know you’ll find someone Yuji.” You stated under your breath,” Someone who laughs with you. Someone who loves video games and movies,” You let out a bittersweet chuckle,” And I know you will find happiness.” Your tiny smile faded,” Just promise me something.”

“Anything.” He said instantly.

“Promise me that you will go out and find her, instead of only searching in the past.”

Your words hit Yuji right in the heart, but deep down, past the yearning and grief, he knew you were right. So as much as his heart denied it, he nodded slowly. You gave him a smile, one that unfortunately made his heartbeat pick up. Slowly you let go of the boy, trying to ignore how his hold on you lingered until you were taking a step back.

“Hey!”

You both whipped your heads around, finding your loving husband standing in the doorway,” You guys are going to miss dirty Santa if you keep chatting out here.” You watched as Megumi held himself, never one to enjoy the cold, and giggled,” Sorry love, we’ll be inside in a second.”

He nodded, already moving back into the warm room,” Good. I don’t want either of you freezing your ass off.” And with that, he shut the sliding door.

It was quiet after he left. You watched the snow-covered floor, and then you made your way back to look at the man,” I’ll see you around, Itadori.” He didn’t have time to respond as you walked away, heading inside to your husband and the party. Megumi opened the door for you, planting a sweet kiss on you the moment you stepped foot into the room and Yuji could see it all.

The only thing that mattered was that you were happy and if that meant it wasn’t with Yuji, then he was going to have to accept your wishes.

Sadly for both you and him, the only person you described matched only one person. But he had already let them slip through his fingers.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

I wonder what are your NSFW headcanons for Rotface.

Since New Vegas was my first Fallout game, I'm pretty sure Rotface was one of the first ghouls I ever had a lil' crush on. I very distinctly remember seeing him sitting on the sidewalk in Freeside and having a moment. I dunno, there's something about his cheeky demeanor that I find very appealing. Sort of like the sass Harland has, but in a softer, more self-depreciating way. Plus, I love a man who knows all the good gossip. Thanks for the ask, friend!

Rotface (Fallout: New Vegas) NSFW Headcanons

Is young for a ghoul, maybe in his early fifties. However, he was flash-ghoulified at a fairly young age. Late twenties, thirty at most. Though he isn't that old overall, he's been a ghoul for a significant portion of his life.

He's absolutely one of those people who doesn't care in the slightest what you call him; after all, that's how he ended up being called "Rotface". If you don't want to call him that (which I would not, because it's terrible), he's fine with whatever pet name or nickname you give him. If he likes it enough, it'll just be his new name. It's not that he doesn't remember the name he was given at birth; he simply chooses to not go by it for reasons he's not eager to discuss. He also doesn't like to talk about how he initially became a ghoul, and you often wonder if the two facts are related.

Understandably, he's not exactly eager to make himself physically accessible, maybe even a little moreso than other ghouls. There are a lot of people out there who would love to take advantage of people in a situation as vulnerable as he is. He's learned that painful lesson more than once before. There's also a certain level of dehumanization that he's been constantly exposed to, between the homelessness and the ghoulification; people are quick to write off both as a nuisance or a societal problem. It's taken quite a toll on his self-esteem.

That said...he's self-doubting, not stupid. If you're very clearly expressing interest and have proven trustworthy, he's more than agreeable. Before he was so irradiated, he wasn't the smoothest guy in the world, but he was friendly and sociable enough to date around a normal amount. He's spun the block a time or two, so he knows how to show you a good time. It's been a while since he got laid, but not nearly as long as some ghouls go without; a few years at worst. Most of his nerves when you two get close come from insecurities about his body, not his capabilities as a lover.

Horny-brained, but embarrassed by it. Tries his best not to indulge himself in a lot of the fantasies that pop into his head, but when you've got nothing to do but occupy your mind all day long, sometimes you can't help yourself. That particular problem gets infinitely worse when you start coming around, as his brain is eager to spit out images of you that make him blush heavily the next time he sees you (thank god you can't really see it with how mottled his skin is). If you get him a little drunk, he might tell you about one or two of those fantasies.

In the same vein, he's got a high sex drive, but he'll try his best to not "pester" you with his incessant need most of the time. He's not very good at hiding it, though, not with as attracted to you as he is. Tries his best to be sensitive to your moods, so if you don't necessarily seem open to fooling around, he'll grit his teeth and bear it. Even if you are open to helping him out, you might have to tiptoe around the fact that his cock is obviously tucked up into his waistband in order to get him to let you. He hates feeling like a pest.

He's a great listener (obviously). Loves pillow talk after sex.

Bit of an exhibitionism kink, but not in a way that the idea of people watching turns him on. He's moreso...indifferent to the attention of others. He spent so long with no real privacy that he doesn't necessarily consider where you are when he starts getting handsy with you; it really only matters if the two of you are alone in that moment. Someone could be right around the corner, but it won't stop him if he's fixated enough. You can be quiet, can'tcha?

Refuses to get naked during sex, or ever, really. As with many people who are turned into ghouls all in one go, many of his injuries and scars are pretty gnarly, and he's very apprehensive to let you see much of him. You insist his body would never literally make you sick as he worries, but he tells you that you don't really know what you're talking about. He'd rather not risk you losing attraction to him because you see what he really looks like.

[shin-kenooubu]

First Date

featuring - Chuuya Nakahara & Dazai Osamu

[sfw . third person limited if anyone cares]

a/n : this was inspired by a conversation between me and the other admin where we both agreed that Dazai would be the type to say i love you on a first date. I also didn’t actually think I’d try to write something substantial so bear with me if it’s not too good.

—

First dates aren’t really all that bad. You meet a cute girl, get to know her for a bit and you fall out because you don’t tell her where you’ve been going late at night. Thats just how it is.

As Chuuya looked at his partner for the night he couldn’t help but wonder how he got in this situation in the first place. He switched his attention to his cup of tea while letting his date blab about life. Was it him who proposed this date? Yes. Had he been thinking about it for a good long while? Yes. Did he ever think he would actually be sitting in a dainty cafe with this particular person? Well… no. Who would think that Osamu Dazai would say yes to a date with a guy who hates him? Though he supposes it could be some twisted self hatred game that he somehow managed to manipulate Chuuya into being a part of.

Whatever the case he was here now, and seriously doubting his choice of location. It was a cute cafe, usually a favorite of the girls he’s taken out before but was it the best decision to take a man here? He looked up from his cup to see his date still happily blabbing away about how boring work can be and his favorite juniors.

he seems to be happy enough.

“Chuuya I get not many girls ask you out but you should really listen to your date when they’re talking”

“Oh shut up. I was listening, you were talking about your junior atsushi. You talk about him way too much, it makes me sick. Now let’s go.” He stands up while his partner attempts to rationalize his ramblings about that particular junior. It’s weirdly sweet seeing Dazai act similar to a doting mother when talking about him. So sweet it makes him want to vomit. That feeling was one Chuuya was all too familiar with as it was constant from the minute he first met Dazai. Lately he’s been questioning whether it’s a natural feeling of hatred, or something more complex. He took a moment to take a deep breath of air as he walked out of the cafe, the air was somehow always fresher at night. “Where are we going now?”

“On a romantic walk. Obviously.” Girls liked this kind of thing. He figured he could basically treat dazai as if he were a tall girl from his reaction at the cafe. “It’s hardly romantic. How did you ever get girls to keep dating you?” He didn’t. If he could he would probably be married by now. “What? Do you want me to hold your hand? Tell you how beautiful you look? It’s hard to be romantic when I remember its you im out with. How am I supposed to know what an enigma like you wants?” There was a beat of silence before Dazai stopped walking and turned to face away from Chuuya, crossing his arms in the process.

What the hell is he doing?

“Hey.” He doesn’t turn. “Oh come on, dont do that.” No response again. He tries to walk over to where Dazai is facing only for him to continue turning so he cant see his face. “Stop.” He holds on to Dazai’s shoulders to stop him from turning, in retaliation Dazai turns his head towards the sky and closes his eyes, arms still crossed tightly, completely rejecting Chuuya’s attempts at communication. “You’re being ridiculous.” Still no movement. “Fine.” Chuuya struggles to uncross Dazai’s arms and pries his fingers apart to interlock them with his own. “Happy?” Dazai’s response comes in the form of leaving the hand that Chuuya is trying to hold fully flexed, not attempting to reciprocate the gesture in the slightest. He’s a lot more like a girl than Chuuya originally thought. So what would make a girl forgive him?

He sighed before bracing himself for what he was about to do. “Hey, don’t be like that” He softened his voice as much as he could using his free hand to reach for Dazai’s face and guide it to look down at him. “You got what you wanted didn’t you?” He caressed his cheek with his thumb and played with his hair until he felt his hand relax and reciprocate the hold Chuuya had on it. Dazai’s face remained contorted in contempt “You’re the absolute worst.” He gripped Chuuyas hand hard and continued walking. “I’ll take your death grip as a sign of you forgiving me.” He could tell that Dazai was having a hard time staying mad at him though his face was still twisted in anger. “Oh whatever.” Dazai’s face returned to its neutral state though he didn’t bother loosening his grip. Their walk continued comfortably and silently, making Chuuyas mind drift to his question at the very start of their date. What was he doing here? The question seemed to evolve the longer he was on this date. Just how exactly did he feel about Dazai? He’s never thought that he felt anything but hatred for him, but suddenly the word feels too simple and un nuanced to properly describe how he feels after so many years together.

And that’s when Dazai says the single worst thing a person could ever say on a first date. “I love you.” Oh my god. “What?” Chuuya instinctively tried to let go of Dazai’s hand but his grip remained tight not letting Chuuya break contact. “What do you mean what? I love you.” Dazai looked at Chuuya with a confused expression as if what he was saying was something obvious that they were both aware of. “Do you not love me??“ Chuuya didn’t know how to respod. “I never said that.” It’s not like he didn’t feel the same, it was a crude confession lacking buildup and preparation for what was supposed to be a crucial moment in their budding relationship. It left him speechless.“Well?” Dazai leaned in closer to hear what Chuuya had to say looking almost anxious to hear his answer, as if he doubted his previous assessment on how Chuuya felt about him. “Okay I love you. But you can’t be doing this.” He pushed Dazai’s face away from his to discourage him from doing something crazier. “Can’t be doing what?” It’s like talking to a wall. “Nothing,” Chuuya sighed “let me walk you home.” There’s no use trying to teach him date etiquette. It’s not like he’ll be having another first date now anyway.

—

[waynes-multiverse]

Feeling a lot better this week, thank you!! I've never had it before. I kinda thought I got away with it at this point. Oh well... 😂😂

Merry (almost) Christmas, Alex! 😁🎄❤️

Honestly I don't blame her for thinking about it. This whole thing is a hot mess of epic proportions, but interesting that she headed the route of "let me go to work" instead of going to the hospital. I'd imagine she just wants to dip into her workaholic self for a while instead of dealing with Stag 1 and Stag 2 going at it over there. 😅

Nailed it 100% 😂 Who wouldn't wanna escape from that mess? lol And Diane's mess is a good distraction. Besides, I imagine revenge has gotten a bit personal for her now 😅

Hoooooly SHIT. Diane really DID "get around." 😨 She's playing an even sicker game than I thought. How she got so high into law enforcement is craaazy.

Ah yes, some hide it well...

Omfgggg of course Beau has to deal with this too. 🤣🤣 I shouldn't laugh, right? But Randy is (understandably) staying in his sour patch kid phase, even as he's demanding help from his ex-best friend/partner. Talk about reluctant allies. lol

Had to add a little comedy at this point. Things were getting... dire lol

And something tells me the boys being forced to work together like old times will help them come to an understanding 😉

Ooof yes Beau, that's an asshole statement, but I get why he feels that way. 😂 And it also tracks that Jenny is the one he's honest to about that, probably knowing she'll call him out for it! 😂😂

Loved that moment, too! He was holding up such a brave face for so long and trying to be the bigger person, he had to let it slip somehow, even if it was just for a second lol

It's clear he thinks the right thing is for reader to be with Randy, but a big part of him (which he's trying to choke down) is obviously hoping things work out in his favor and she stays with him 😅

Oh Gooood, she dropped the "I love you" just in case she wouldn't get to see him again, didn't she? 😭😭😭

Don't we love a good "I love you" goodbye?

Story is on holiday break ❄️ till January 3. Guess you'll have to remain on the edge of your seat until then 😉 We don't want too much drama and angst around Christmas, do we? 🙈

Thank you so much for reading, friend! 🤍😘

Polaris – Chapter 11

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, angst, more serial killer shenanigans & a twist

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: So sorry for being so elusive this week! Still playing catch-up on everything after being sick for so long 🤪 I'll be back fully by Monday and talk to you guys again soon. Meanwhile, I didn't want you to wait for this chapter, so enjoy 🤍

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 11: You With Me

Once you had waltzed right through those cursed glass doors of the hospital and ended up at the parking lot, you stopped thinking and kept on running – literally. Out of breath, you started the car and drove until the building was out of view. And before you knew what you had done, you had passed the town sign of Helena as well.

But your dire need for escape didn’t last long.

It would’ve been so easy to just keep driving and leave all of it behind you in the rearview mirror. Maybe your big pile of cow manure would still make a decent fertilizer for the local farmers. But the ache lassoed around your heart tugged you back.

Pulling over to the side of the road, you took a moment to clear your mind. Head in your hands, you let yourself fall back into your seat and took a few deep breaths. You only ever made it through one yoga class, but you remembered the breathing had helped.

Still, every bone in your body wanted to bolt and never see either one of them again. In your mind, you had already asked your boss for a transfer. Maybe it was time to finally take him up on that offer to ship you off to DC.

But, of course, you couldn’t do it.

With a screeching U-turn, you headed back to town. Your destination wasn’t the hospital, however. Instead, you ended up at the Sheriff’s Department.

“Agent Y/L/N?”

On your way inside, a middle-aged man in a long, gray coat jumped up from a bench in front the building. He looked distraught, half his face hidden by a navy, voluminous scarf, but you still recognized him instantly.

“Mr. Hughes,” you said with a hint of surprise in your voice. He was the last victim’s husband, and you wondered what he was doing here. Had Jenny brought him in for more questioning?

“I heard you caught the killer. Is that true?”

Small towns, you scoffed and rolled your eyes internally.

“Mr. Hughes, I’m very sorry. I know you want answers, but please understand that I can’t share any more information with you at this point. The Sheriff’s deputies will update you as soon as we know more,” you gave the procedural answer and suddenly accelerated your pace, looking for the safety of the station in a hurry – and not only because it had gotten cold.

“Is it that DA?” he asked desperately as he followed you and cornered you again by the door.

So close…

“Mr. Hu–”

However, he didn’t let you finish this time and cut you off, “Because if it is, there’s something you should know.”

“You sure that’s her?” you asked for the third time as Mr. Hughes stared intensely at Diane, handcuffed to a metal table in Interrogation Room 1 this time.

Diane grinned like she had just won the lottery, even though no one was in the room with her. You had hauled her from her little jail cell just so Hughes could properly identify her. Although he recognized her in photos, you wanted to be sure. God knows Diane would rip that testimony apart in court, otherwise.

Hughes nodded vehemently. “Yes, I’m positive, Agent Y/L/N. How many times do I have to tell you?”

“I just had to make sure. I’m sorry. I know this is hard for you, Mr. Hughes,” you reiterated.

“Well, I’m pretty sure I’d recognize the first woman I slept with after my wife was murdered,” he snapped impatiently, but you couldn’t blame him. The man was really going through it at the moment.

“Of course. We believe you, Mr. Hughes. Thank you for coming in and letting us know,” Jenny said and took over, seeing the exhaustion on your face. “There’s some coffee in the lobby. Why don’t you help yourself while Deputy Poppernak fills you in on the next steps.”

With a heavy head, he nodded and dragged his weary feet out of the small room. “Alright. Thank you kindly, ladies.”

You exhaled a deep breath as soon as the door closed and ran a hand through your hair. You couldn’t catch a break, could you?

“Hughes is pretty shaken up,” Jenny noted pensively.

“Yeah, I mean, can you imagine finding out you unknowingly slept with your wife’s killer?” And suddenly, it dawned on you – the irony of Diane’s plan. “Shit,” you muttered under your breath.

Jenny raised a brow but gave you a comforting smile. “How are you holding up?”

“Not gonna lie. Been better,” you replied dryly.

“Wanna fill me in over coffee?”

You nodded with a smirk. “Only if you pour a lot of whiskey into my mug, too.”

Jenny grinned. “Deal.”

“I almost bolted today,” you told Jenny as the two of you sat at the big round table of the station’s break room. You clasped the warm mug even tighter in your cold hands. “Made it past the town sign, too.”

“Why did you come back?” Jenny took a sip from her own drink, hiding her knowing smile behind her cup.

“The job.”

Jenny snorted and cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. “Really?”

You smiled, your eyes focusing on the mug in your hands. “No.”

“You love both of ‘em?”

You nodded but didn’t meet her eyes. “In a way, yeah…”

“But it’s Beau,” Jenny stated like it was obvious.

“I-…” You let out a sigh. “I guess I’m scared to be cruel. It just seems so… unfair to him. Randy doesn’t deserve this. And even if… How are me and Beau supposed to just move on happily, knowing all of this? I’m afraid Diane might win this one. She actually found the goddamn breaking point. I don’t think our relationship can survive this.”

“Maybe not,” Jenny agreed quietly. She knew you had found yourself in an impossible situation. No matter where you looked for a solution, you only ever found dead ends. “Look, maybe you and Beau can’t get past this. But staying with Randy because you feel bad and don’t want to hurt his feelings is just going to hurt him more in the end. It’s crueler if you stay. You’re not doing him a favor.”

“Oh, I know. Trust me. I’ve been through this a thousand times over the last twenty-four hours. No one’s winning anything here,” you said and took a big sip from your alcoholic coffee. Then suddenly, your gut got that familiar twinge again. Your eyes widened as they found Jenny’s.

“What?” The blonde blinked at you. “I know that look. You found something.”

“We need to speak with the other victims’ husbands,” you informed Jenny, urgency swinging in your voice.

“You think she slept with the others as well?”

“What d’you think?”

Jenny sighed and blew the frustrated puff of air into her mug. She shook her head and muttered grimly, “Fucking Diane.”

“Let’s get back to work.”

Breathlessly, Beau stood in front of the hospital, hands on his squared-off hips. He looked left and right, but as far as he could tell you were long gone.

Hearing an exhaustive sigh behind him, he spun around and found his old partner fully clothed. Randy ripped off his hospital bracelet and let his lungs fill with a breath of fresh, cold mountain air. He shivered a bit in his thin denim jacket and t-shirt. Diane must’ve not left him with clothes appropriate for Montana’s dropping temperatures. Winter had rolled into the country – in more ways than one.

Beau lifted an eyebrow. “Did they discharge you?”

“Nope. Discharged myself,” Randy retorted and looked across the parking lot.

“Randy–”

“I’m fine,” he bit. “There’s nothing wrong with me, so can we please just go look for my wife?”

Wide-eyed, Beau stumped. “I’m sorry… we?!”

Spending any more time with Randy was definitely the last thing Beau needed.

“Yes, we. I don’t have a car. You have to drive,” Randy clarified, the anger in his voice still swinging punches at Beau’s face. Every word out of Randy’s mouth spelled the same message: You owe me. Beau could hardly argue with that. “Which one’s yours?”

Sourly, Beau pointed straight ahead. “The red Jeep.”

Randy’s brow furrowed. “That rusty old thing? Where the hell did you get that?”

“Mexico.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Hey, I know you’re angry with me, but don’t take it out on Pedro and hurt his feelings,” Beau said, hoping his lightheartedness would be contagious. Randy was immune, however, and didn’t break a smile. “Just stay here, go back inside, and let me look for her alone.”

“Oh, you would love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Actually, I would.”

“Forget it. I’m not staying here,” Randy huffed and opened the car door, heaving himself into the passenger seat.

Beau sighed deeply, tapping Pedro’s roof with his flat palm. “‘Course you’re not,” he muttered bitterly, rolling his eyes back.

“Congrats, Diane,” you said and slapped yet another folder down in front of her. A smirk played across the murderous prosecutor’s lips. She hoped you’d find the smoking gun eventually, and you hated the fact she always seemed to be miles ahead. “So far, I’ve spoken to seventeen husbands of your previous victims, and you… Wow.”

Honestly, you were speechless. As were all the husbands when you had the honor of telling them over the phone they might have screwed their wives’ killer. But you weren’t just looking for confirmation. Something had bugged you since Randy had magically appeared in a hospital bed.

Diane shrugged coolly – and proudly. “What can I say? I got around. Please give them my condolences.”

You scoffed a humorless chuckle and sat down across from her. “You know, something keeps gnawing on me. First of all, how the fuck did you know Randy was still alive?”

The cold-hearted lawyer smiled. “Can’t blame you. That’s a doozie.”

“And even if you did find out, how on earth did you get him out of the cartel’s claws? I mean, that alone would deserve some applause. Hate to say it, but I’m honestly impressed,” you admitted, even though your admiration was just a honey trap.

“Thank you, Agent. I appreciate your honesty. I know that must not have been easy for you to admit,” Diane replied and leaned forward on the table. “Truth is, getting him out was easy. The cartel wanted to get rid of him. He was just dead weight that attracted too much attention from law enforcement.”

“So you made a deal with them, and they just… gave him to you?” It sounded unbelievable, and you knew she was hiding something, only revealing parts of the truth to you.

“As I said, they wanted to get rid of him. In a way, you owe me. I saved him. They would’ve executed him a week later and put his head on a stick for you to find,” Diane argued, shrugging her shoulders.

It was hard to deny. In a weird way, she was right. She did save Randy, even if it was just for her personal gain. Blowing up your life or not, Randy was back – thanks to her.

“Fine,” you relented. “The second thing that keeps bugging me, though, is: How did you let Randy escape from the bunker? Was there a timer on the door, and it just opened? ‘Cause Randy said he only remembers someone stabbing him with a needle before he woke up by the side of the road. I looked at his tox screen, he still had enough in his system when he got to the hospital. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours. So, either you almost gave him a lethal dose and he got lucky, or…”

“Or what, Agent?”

You met her icy gray eyes. “You’re working with someone,” you stated determinedly. You didn’t need her to confirm it. You knew. Every bone in your body, every drop of blood – you knew.

A smile flickered alive in the corners of her mouth. Warm. Fond. “Well done. I knew you’d get there.”

Abruptly, you rose from you seat and stormed through the door, leaving Diane behind. You had to find your second killer.

“Good luck, Agent!”

“Beau.” Jenny rose from her desk with an arched eyebrow at the strange man following the sheriff inside the station. She witnessed a brief (and rather heated) exchange of words between the men before Beau walked her way with a furiously creased brow.

“You seen Y/N?” With a shake of his head that was supposed to release some of his exasperation, the sheriff took off his hat and ran a hand through his locks.

“You just missed her,” Jenny informed her exhausted boss.

“Dammit!”

“Rough day?”

“Yup, doesn’t seem to be gettin’ easier, either,” Beau replied, carrying frustration in his voice as he glanced back over his shoulder at his former partner.

“Is that–”

“Randy? Yeah,” Beau confirmed with an annoyed huff.

“Huh. Interesting…”

Beau scowled at the blonde. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jenny gave a shrug of her shoulders and tilted her head at Randy. “Just thought he’d be different. That’s all.”

Suspiciously, Beau’s eyes narrowed, darting from Randy to Jenny. “Are you checking him out, Hoyt?”

“What? No,” Jenny replied a little too defensively. “‘Sides, if I was, I’d be doing you a favor.”

Beau swayed his head from side to side, actually considering the option. “You’re not wrong. Can’t seem to get rid of him… And I realize that makes me sound like an asshole.”

“Yeah, it does,” Jenny replied, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Thanks, Hoyt,” Beau scoffed. “Any idea where Y/N went?”

“Not exactly. We’ve had an interesting visitor today. Remember Hughes?”

Beau nodded. “Husband of our last victim.”

“He came by the station after hearing we caught Diane,” Jenny explained. “He confessed to sleeping with her after his wife was killed.”

Beau’s brow furrowed, green eyes widening. “Wait, did he know that-…?”

Jenny shook her head. “No, he didn’t connect the dots till we had her in custody. But Y/N and I then checked the other–”

Beau squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. “Don’t tell me she–”

“Uh-huh.”

“Unbelievable…” Beau let his shaking head hang, sighing.

“Y/N then had a chat with Diane. She confirmed it,” Jenny informed him further. “After that, she stormed out. Said she was following a lead.”

“You know which one?”

Jenny shook her head apologetically. “I wasn’t in the room. I was still calling husbands. But Y/N had a few more names left on her list from the Texas victims.”

Beau then pulled out his phone and tried you again, but only ever caught the receiving end of your voicemail, which wasn’t rare, considering the spotty service in town. “Still voicemail.”

“What’s that?” Jenny leaned closer, squinting her eyes at his screen. “You’ve got a message.”

“Huh. It’s from her. Ten minutes ago. Voicemail,” Beau said and frowned at his phone, his thumb wringing with the touchscreen.

He then held it to his ear and listened.

“Ugh, voicemail. Again. Stupid woods everywhere…” you huffed a sigh into your phone, your eyes concentrating on the foggy road ahead. “Beau, it’s me. I’ve found something. Driving to your place now. Meet me there,” you said, already rounding the corner to his road. “Diane’s not working alone. She has a partner. Probably someone submissive that she can manipulate easily to do her bidding…”

Parking the car in front of his trailer, you unfastened your seatbelt and hurried out.

“I checked the list of husbands. I think it’s our first victim in Texas. His name is Hal Turner. He is a quiet accountant. Kind of an odd duck when I spoke to him…” Looking through Beau’s planters, you searched for the second key. You knew he hid it here somewhere. “But he did serve some prison time a couple years ago. And while he was in prison, his wife was having an affair… with Diane’s husband, his goddamn defense attorney. And if your mind isn’t blown yet, just wait for the next part. Guess why Turner was in prison in the first place? See, he tried earning some extra cash, doing the books for a biker gang, which just so happens to be connected to our favorite cartel. Yeah… That’s probably how they got their hands on Randy.”

There was a noise. You had realized it too late, and your weapon was still in the car. One breath later, you felt the cool metal of a gun barrel pressing against the back of your skull.

“Uhm… anyways, put out an APB. I’m here now, so… just get here too, okay? I love you. Bye.”

You dropped your phone to the ground and raised your hands, taking a deep breath before you spoke. “Whoa, slow down there, cowboy. I left my gun in the car. I’m no threat to you. You don’t have to do this, Mr. Turner.”

“You’ve figured it all out. She said you were smart,” he said, and you could hear the uneasiness, the jitters, in his voice.

“Mr. Turner, I’m gonna turn around now, so we can talk better, okay?” you pleaded, ordering your body to stay calm.

“What’s there to talk about? I have to do this. I can’t disappoint her,” the man stated. And once you looked at him, you knew he wasn’t of sound mind anymore. Diane had done a number on the guy.

“No, you don’t. You heard. I already told my colleagues about you. They’re gonna look for you. It’s over, Mr. Turner,” you explained as gently as possible. “But if you come willingly to the station with me, I’ll make sure to get you a deal with the DA. Please… Don’t do this.”

For a moment, you thought he bought it. He hesitated as if he were actually considering the option to end it all right there. But then you recognized the pity in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Yeah… That’s probably how they got their hands on Randy… Uhm… anyways, put out an APB. I’m here now, so… just get here too, okay? I love you. Bye.”

Half the station had gathered around the sheriff, including Randy, as soon as Beau put your message on speaker after the first few sentences. Beau only snapped his finger at Poppernak, who nodded eagerly and raced to the nearest computer, putting out an APB on Hal Turner.

Randy cleared his throat and excused himself outside before Beau realized what exactly had bothered his former partner about your message.

I love you.

Only Jenny remained standing next to him with a creased brow. He knew that look.

“What?” Beau prompted. “I know. Trust me. I wouldn’t have put it on speaker if I had known beforehand.”

“No, not that.” Jenny shook her head but then changed her mind. “Or maybe exactly that. Didn’t she sound weird to you towards the end?”

Beau shrugged. His mind might have turned off temporarily after hearing those three words. “What d’you mean?”

“At the start, she’s all excited because she solved the case, right? But then there’s this weird pause before her voice changes. She sounds… calm,” Jenny explained.

“You mean because she’s trying to stay calm,” Beau added.

“Because she’s seen something,” Jenny finished. “Someone. Hal Turner.”

Green eyes widened as his chest tightened. Beau thundered outside, passing Randy on a bench on his way to the car.

“Whoa, what’s going on? Where are you running off to?” Randy hurried straight after him and met him by the Jeep. “Are you going after Y/N?”

Internally, Beau sighed, but he knew they didn’t have time for a discussion.

“Get in! Y/N’s in trouble.”

July 2021

“Been a minute,” Beau said as you hopped into the driver’s seat of the SUV. He forced a smile, one he had hoped would conceal his nervousness appropriately. He even let you drive – just so he could get back into your good graces.

If that wasn’t a peace offering, he didn’t know what was.

“Uh-huh…”

Beau wanted to sigh but refrained from doing so. That would’ve probably just annoyed you. He was handing you an olive branch, and you were throwing it into the wood chipper. He supposed he had to live with that.

After the drunk debacle and a dire hangover that almost cost him his job, Beau knew he had to crawl back to Cody. He actually apologized, bootlicked and cowered, and then submissively asked to be partnered up with you again. And after all of that, the dick still had said no.

You went undercover shortly after, and Beau went back home, giving his failing marriage another shot. The old college try. Well, Carla didn’t appreciate any of it. Too little, too late, she’d said.

Now, both of you were back, and the only reason Beau was allowed to share a car with you again was because you had explicitly requested it. Beau had been surprised to hear that, frankly, but it gave him hope things could be repaired. Maybe that had been your idea of extending an olive branch.

“Thanks, you know,” Beau said and focused his gaze on his clasped hands in his lap. “I know you put in the request to be my partner again.”

“Kinda had to,” you scoffed and pushed the key into the ignition, maybe a little too forcefully for the occasion. “No one in the team wants to work with you anymore. They were practically begging me to take you back. You’re a real people person, aren’t you?”

Alright, maybe it wasn’t exactly a full branch.

Had he sulked? Been moody? Absentminded in recent weeks?

Yes, absolutely.

“Still, thanks…” Beau licked his lips. He wanted to make things right – but how? “Look, I’m really sorry about what happened. I am. I swear to you nothin’ like it will ever happen again, alright?”

For a mere second, you stopped every movement. His words sunk in. No, it was exactly what you wanted all along.

Right?

“Good.”

“Alright, then…” Beau exhaled a sigh. He didn’t know what he’d expected to hear, but that answer surely left more to desire. Not to mention, the thousands of questions that gnawed on him like nasty termites.

You started the car and reversed out of the spot, thinking and hoping this conversation was over – once and for all. Bury the goddamn hatchet six-feet-under. But Beau seemed to have a different idea of how you two would spend your afternoon:

“If that’s what you want…”

He said it so passive-aggressively it bordered on childish. What the hell was he aiming for? Had he gone mad?

“It’s what I want.”

You’d be damned if you got roped into this one. Beau Arlen would not drag you down into the pits of hell with him. But hesitation had come before your answer, and Beau had noticed.

“You sure?”

For fuck’s sake!

Mind, you still had to navigate out of that incredibly tight parking spot with that fucking gigantic car (and not looking like a damn fool when doing so) while that idiot next you, your partner, kept yapping on. And mind, if you did indeed mess up, he’d surely (and not helpfully) inform you why he never let you drive.

“I’m sure.”

Beau nodded. Not in acceptance – he was thinking. “Just answer me one question…”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

Bringing the SUV to a screeching halt, you both jolted forward into your seatbelts. Another driver leaving the parking lot honked behind you for blocking their way.

“Fuck off!” you yelled, leaning halfway out the rolled down window.

“You want me to dri–”

“Nope.”

“Alright, then.”

That asshole…

Then silence fell. You didn’t move, though, and Beau didn’t pressure you to. The car kept running till you turned it off and sunk back into your seat.

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.”

“I don’t think the punishment fits the crime.”

“Oh, I think it does.”

Beau rubbed his lips with his thumb and finger and stared out the window. Again, he was thinking. He might as well have taken up chess as a leisure activity.

Was he weak if he wanted to fight?

“Look, if you’re only this mad ‘cause you think you’d just be my rebound, then you should know that never would’ve been the case, alright?”

Beau looked at you, and you met his eyes. You were scared to admit it, even to yourself, but your feelings were harder to ignore when you stared at him.

“I wouldn’t have risked our friendship for nothin’,” he muttered under his breath.

“Don’t.” You clutched the steering wheel in your grasp a little tighter.

“So, what? We just never talk about it?”

Beau knew in that moment that, whatever he felt, it wasn’t just a simple crush that would dissipate over time. It would stay. How was he supposed ignore an elephant this big?

“That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do,” you stated. How could you explain it in a way he’d understand? “Beau, it can’t-…It can’t be you… It just can’t be. You with me on this one?”

“I’m with you.” His heart drowned in disappointment, but he gave you a promise nonetheless, telling you he’d let it rest for good. “Guess I got my answer…”

“Hood’s still warm,” Beau said, removing his palm from your car. It had taken him twelve minutes to race here, knowing he’d never be fast enough to stop it. Your vehicle was here, but you weren’t. “Her gun’s still here, too.”

“Found her phone. Door’s still locked. She never went inside,” Randy said, standing in front of the trailer. “No signs of blood, though.”

“He probably took her somewhere else,” Beau mused, his gut telling him the exact place.

“One of those bunkers?”

“Would be my guess, yeah,” Beau confirmed and rubbed his beard. Everything inside him tried to keep calm, tried not to panic, even though his head was booming and his heart was exploding with worry.

“Why would she leave her phone here? Maybe there’s something on here,” Randy said and proceeded to type in your passcode. Only it wasn’t yours anymore. “She changed it,” he realized with a swallow and found Beau’s eyes. “Do you-, uhm…”

“Yeah,” was all Beau said and proceeded to type in the correct code. Your phone unlocked, but that accomplishment surely came with a price, judging by Randy’s sulking expression. “Last call was to me. Says here her storage is full, but the video was still saved.”

“What video?”

As the men started the clip, they caught your entire conversation with Hal Turner – with his voice and face on tape. Turner held you at gun point before slowly leading you to a car and out of frame. The noise of a starting engine could be heard before it all falls silent and dark.

“Why would she record this? If she had taken it with her, we could’ve tracked it,” Randy said with a frown.

But Beau shook his head. “Turner would’ve probably dumped her phone somewhere before they ever even reached their destination. She didn’t think she’d make it out alive,” he realized bitterly. His heart grew heavier with every passing second. “She recorded it as evidence… in case he killed her.”

As soon as he uttered those words, everything fell into place. Everything made sense. And Beau wanted to break down right then and there.

If something happened to you…

Grabbing his phone, Beau called Jenny’s number. “Hoyt! Turner took her. They can’t be far. Lock everything down, you understand me? Get everybody out of the station and on the streets. Have forensics come by my trailer… Yeah, alright. I’ll meet you here.”

He ended the call with a strenuous exhale. Although he wanted to, he knew there wasn’t more he could do. Driving down roads, running aimlessly through the woods… He knew there was no way he could ever find you.

Unless he had help.

“We need to find her,” Randy stated the obvious.

“You think?!”

Beau wasn’t mad at Randy. He was angry with himself. If he hadn’t kicked you out this morning, you would’ve been by his side. You would’ve spent the day together. You would’ve come home together. He would’ve been here when you needed him.

“Stop yelling at me! You know I like to think out loud!”

Beau ground his jaw and rubbed his aching temples. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Look, I’m just worried.”

“And you think I ain’t?!”

“Randy–” Beau sighed loudly and stretched out the tension in his shoulders. “Let’s not turn this into some weird competition, alright? We’re both worried. End of story.”

Randy scoffed and rolled his eyes, defiantly crossing his arms over his jacket. “Whatever, man.”

“Look, if we’re gonna work this thing together, I think we need some ground rules. You with me on this one, buddy?”

“I ain’t your buddy.” Randy exhaled a long breath and pondered for a moment with a sour expression on his face. Eventually, he nodded his agreement. “But I’m with you. What did you have in mind?”

Bobbing his head, he thought for a second and scratched his jaw. “I don’t think we should talk about her.”

“She’s the one who’s missing. We’re trying to find her. I think we need to talk about her a little,” Randy argued, mostly out of spite.

But Beau was a patient man – sometimes. Another sigh passed his lips. “You know what I mean.”

“Oh, you mean I’m not supposed to make you uncomfortable by asking questions like, ‘Is Y/N’s passcode your guys’ anniversary date because she used to have our wedding anniversary as her code.’ Those kinda questions?” Randy asked mockingly.

“Uh-huh… That would be a stellar example of what I meant,” Beau said with a pressed smile. He knew this wouldn’t be easy by a long shot, but he was willing to try and make it work. “Second – no sulking.”

“I don’t sulk.”

“Yes, you do. I don’t wanna worry about you anytime my relationship with Y/N even remotely comes up. It happened. Get over it.”

“Get over it?!” Randy gasped. Granted, Beau knew he could’ve chosen better words. “You know, those rules start to sound a lot like just a list of things that are supposed to make you less uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, well…” Beau scratched the back of his neck. “You can add somethin’.”

A peace offering.

Randy nodded, accepting said offer. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. Third rule: You’re not allowed to pretend you’re the only one who cares about her. She’s my wife. I get to decide how we proceed.”

Beau’s jaw tightened. “Fine,” he gritted.

“Which brings me to my fourth rule: You’re not the boss of me. You ain’t my sheriff.” Randy smirked, provoking in nature. Beau could tell he was proud of that rule.

Beau chuckled humorlessly. “You know, Randy, technically, you’re not a cop anymore. You’re a civilian. In my county. So yeah, I am your sheriff.”

Randy only grinned in return. “Well, good thing you can deputize me.”

Beau let another sigh pass between his lips. “Fine,” he agreed to Randy’s terms. “So, that’s it? Four rules? We’re not talking about our relationship with her, I’m not gonna boss you around, and we’re good?”

“We’re good.” Randy gave him a nod. “What are we allowed to talk about, though?”

Beau shrugged. “The case? Small talk, maybe?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know.” Another shrug. “Football?”

Randy shook his head. “Haven’t seen a single game in three years.”

“Right.” Beau hadn’t thought of that. “Politics?”

Another head shake. “Haven’t seen the news either.”

“Uh-huh…” Then, an idea hit Beau. “You know what? That might not actually be the worst. Why don’t you ask me some stuff and I fill you in on what happened over the last few years, huh? Texans, Cowboys, Musk… Anything you wanna know, I’m an open book. Just ask away, man. Anything.”

Randy contemplated the suggestion for a beat. Then a smile rose on his lips and spread to his ears. Beau didn’t like it one bit.

“Alright… How’s Carla doing?”

Chapter 12: Through – JANUARY 3

Welp, let's end it here on a funny note and forget about all the drama of being kidnapped 😂

Posting will resume in the new year with the final two chapters, so stay tuned and happy holidays to you guys! ❤️🎄🥳🥂

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@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444

@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad

@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways

@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith

@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02

@thebiggerbear @star-yawnznn

Everything Beau Arlen: @snowayumi

Polaris Series: @corruptedcruiser