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gvtted-ratz · 11 months ago

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What’s Your Favourite Scary Movie, Eddie?

Edward Nashton (The Riddler) x Ghostface!Trans!M!Reader

Last Edited: 06/04/2023

TW: gore, blood, murder, stalking, dead bodies, transphobia, foul language, body dysphoria, phone harassment

Requested: no

Word Count: 2,381

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: literally rewatching the batman 2022 as i make this lel. also, kinda think of the ghosftface from dead by daylight as i love that costume/look so the outfit that’s described. i finished this shit on 1 hour of sleep btw so hope u enjoy

He’s an odd man. His schedule used to remain constant until it didn’t. You’re unsure of what changed. He’s still a forensic account by all means. He forged those documents to get the job so of course he wouldn’t simply just quit. That part stayed the same. It’s after work when he deviates from his original schedule. Going out at night, spying on people, and getting odd information. There’s also his online presence getting stronger. You see him on his computer more and more. Sometimes he’s typing, other times he has some sort of outfit on to do live streams.

No matter what, he’s always busy with something. That something has gotten more and more odd these past few weeks. He’s obsessing over a vigilante. A man dressed in black who goes around beating people down until they cannot get up to fight anymore. A “Batman” is what they call him. For someone so many fear, little ol’ Eddie surely loves him. It makes your stomach twist in disgust. How can this man obsess over this random vigilante? Sure, he fights crime but he’s not going for the bigger people. He lets cops run around, nabbing the criminals only to let them go after a bit of bribing. Some saviour he is. Plus, to see this somewhat nerdy and dainty-looking man go for a man who appears to be jacked screws with your head.

You can’t help but want to maul your own skin at this observation. The mousey man wanting the dark, mysterious, and bulky body type makes you think of your own figure. You don’t have the exact body type so may want after all the struggles to so much as get the medicine you needed for your transition. It takes time, ranging from months to years. And the first man you see him obsess over is the usual “jacked” and “hot” man makes you angry. That original figure you had has changed over time, into something you’re more comfortable with. While some changes haven’t been made yet due to the lack of money, you feel better; like you can actually live in your own skin now after so long of feeling like your body was out to destroy you.

But that feeling does fade now and then, especially when you see someone you’ve been watching and pinning over for months wanting the one thing you feel like you can’t be at times. Sometimes it’s your mind, other times it's old words from people you knew. The majority is the people you see online spouting nasty things, all ranging from hatred to fetishizing; there are even times when it’s a mixture of the two. A “real” man is what they want. For some reason as well, a “real” man isn’t someone who takes hormones or changes their body. A “real” man isn’t someone who says they are a man, even if they don’t transition. If they don’t pass their assessments, they’re not a “real man”. But how can they be one? How do they know what a “real” man is? They call those bulky hunks in bars real men. They’ll call the men from the army real men. The men from the gym are real men. But the moment a man so much as acts, looks, sounds different or doesn’t have the “right” body, they’re fake. And to you, it’s all bullshit. No one has any right to tell someone they’re not a “real” man, especially when they themselves know nothing about you or others in the same boat.

So to suddenly see such people in his streams? You can feel yourself losing it. While you wouldn’t kill them for such a thing unless they preached or even tried to kill people for being different or “unreal”, it’s the fact that so many were actual shitbags added to it. From people who wanted to simply kill innocent people, to people wanting to do awful acts to those they hate, you can’t allow that. Spying from the rooftops and alleyways turns into watching him from his very own streams.

Your username on the streams is Gh0stFac3, read as GhostFace, is usually caught in the streams, never saying a word. You let yourself lurk while he’s online, letting out passionate rants about Gotham and some sort of “renewal plan”. You don’t necessarily watch him on these streams. You do listen though, taking down notes on his words. You do have other people to watch and kill later on, of course. Some from his streams, others from night outs. A few are even from your times at bars, hearing their nasty talking or genuine disgust about certain groups of people who’ve done nothing but live their lives.

Another name is jotted down in your notebook, a multitude of pictures clipped to the page with the target. You scratch at your neck from under the mask, sighing. It’s just another asshole really. This one is from one of Edward’s streams. From what you found out, the guy had been sending nasty messages to a coworker who rejected him. Pathetic in your case. But you can feel that itchy feeling creeping up under your skin. You’ll have to kill again soon. It’s like a drug and it makes you feel powerful in a way. From people seeing you as some dainty girl back in the day, nothing more than something to be used for bearing kids and eye candy to look at, to feeling like a man after treatment, meds, and eye-opening articles; along with blogs talking about their own experiences, you feel like you can actually feel and do the things you felt you deserved to do. The people who looked down on you or disowned you disappeared in just a blink. All you needed was time away to find yourself, who you truly are, before returning and dealing out the same amount of pain to them they forced you to go through for so many years.

You snap the notebook closed, rubbing at the face under your mask. All this thinking about how your body is, alongside was, is giving you a headache. It doesn’t help that you have more than just that man as the next victim either. You’re not sure who to choose just yet. Or, well, you do. However, all the constant thinking, together with your inner voice reminding you of all the transphobia you’ve faced thus far, is killing your mood. A snort leaves you. Killing your mood. You’re truly a riot with your own jokes.

You grab the flip phone closest to you, flicking it open. It’s a burner you picked up a bit ago. There were plenty of others but the satisfaction of snapping the phone shut after a call is enough for you to keep it around. You look at Edward’s stream; he’s still going. You give a sharp grin under your scream mask before dialling his number.

You can hear it ring from the stream. Seeing him go silent immediately is satisfying. He looks like a mouse again; a confused one at that. He starts up his rant again, seemingly going to ignore it. Narrowing your eyes, you end the call before texting him. The ding he gets is ignored. Another ding. Another. Another. His hands are shaking, eyes wide and crazed. Finally, you type in chat.

> Hello, Mouse.

The chat, usually fast, stops for a moment. They seem to notice something is off.

> Will you answer your phone?

> I’m calling.

> I’m texting you, Mouse.

People in the chat start to type, sending in a multitude of messages. Some are asking Edward if he knows you. Others are asking if you know him. You don’t answer them at all.

> Answer. I won’t stop calling.

He looks mad, grabbing his computer. “Who do you think you are? You know nothing! You’ve said nothing until now! You’re just someone trying to bring me down aren’t you?! You’re trying to destroy everything I’ve been working for to help Gotham!”

> Answer the phone, Eddie.

Everything stops. It’s like the entire chat froze as well as Edward. You know no one has any idea what his name is. The fact that you know it and suddenly type it with no hesitation only shows you know more than does. With shaking hands, he lets go of the computer and sits back in his chair. “I’m sorry everyone… But it looks like we have a leak. I’ll be making sure to get rid of the mole and that they are dealt with accordingly. I’ll host another stream next week after all of this is fixed.” His voice is eerily blank, almost like he’s bored or in shock. With those final words, the entire stream ends. You sit for a moment before calling him once more. Edwards finally picks up this time.

“Oh, Eddie… Did you really have to take that long?” The voice changer in your mask disguises your voice. From what you’ve been told by many victims before, you sound like a very attractive young man.

“Who are you?” His question, asked in a cold way, makes you hum.

“Ghostface. What about you, Eddie? Are you Edward Nashton? The Riddler? Who are you?” His breathing has changed; he’s panicked. You’ve heard that type of breathing so much that you don’t do much beside coo at him. “Don’t worry, Dear Eddie. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to destroy all that you’ve been working on. After all, you’ve changed your schedule to fit this odd thing now…” You sigh, leaning forwards in your chair. You prop your masked head on your gloved hand. “After all, you spent so much time and resources on it. It’s honestly been the most interesting thing I’ve seen in years.”

“Why are you calling, Ghostface?” He asks, wanting to get this call over with. You don’t want that though. You like how he sounds in your ear. You like how you can make his breathing change with just a few words.

“What’s Your Favourite Scary Movie, Eddie?” The teasing way you say it only adds character, or that’s what you tell yourself. You want Eddie to like you. You want him to obsess over you as he does Batman. You want him.

“I’m not playing your games!” He’s stressed, practically about to cry from the frustration. You’ve ruined his stream, teased him over the phone, and called him Eddie in front of people who don’t know his name. In his eyes, you’re out to destroy him.

“Eddie…” You feel slightly bad. You really do want him to like you and this is the only thing you had thought of. It’s clearly not working. “I like you, Eddie. You’re doing what others can’t or won’t… How about a deal?” The idea of a deal to possibly end this talk seems to get to him.

“What’s the deal, then? Or are you going to keep talking to me in circles and messing with me?”

“I wasn’t trying to mess with you. As I said before. I like you. You’re the only person who went from a possible victim to something else entirely… You should be proud! No one has ever gotten that far! Usually, I’d be in their home by now, hiding and waiting for the right moment to strike…” As you talk, it seems he’s intently listening to you with genuine intrigue. “The fighting is always hard but so, so fun. And the moment my knife meets their flesh and blood spills? It’s beautiful.” You let out a sigh, one could almost call it dreamy with how you talk about your deadly hobby. “The screams are a bit much, not going to lie there, Eddie. They’re so loud.. But the moment the life is gone from those shitbags, I can make them oh so pretty.” You’re out of your chair, pacing around your apartment. Your combat boots are heavy against the wooden floors of your home. One of your hands moves as you ramble, giving more passion despite the other man unable to see it. “A few more cuts, maybe some mutilation, a bit of stabbing.. Then I have to set them up how I want and take a few selfies. The selfies are always fun… I can send you a few if you’d like. They always turn out great, I make sure of it.”

The silence on the other end snaps you out of whatever state you had been in when talking about your hobby. You don’t hear anything, not even Edward’s breathing. Your hidden lips pull into a frown. Here you are, pouring your heart out and he’s said nothing! No congratulations. No good job. Nothing. The squeaking of your gloves is heard as you tighten your grip on the burner.

“How does this help me? How are you going to help me with some pictures of your pinned-up dead bodies?” You grit your teeth, hating this call more and more.

“I’m saying that I can be your blade, dammit! You can sit in your messy lil’ apartment, talking, coding, streaming! I’ll hunt down whoever you want! I’ll mutilate them! I’ll leave clues or riddles, I don’t care!” You’re yelling into the receiver, finally tired of listening to the man’s complaining. Taking a deep breath, you try to calm yourself. “I do all the killing and you continue doing whatever it is your doing.”

“But what are you looking for? What do you get out of it?” A hum leaves you, letting all that rage go. A nasty smirk crawls over your features.

“I get to watch you work… I love seeing you put your pretty lil’ head to use after all, Baby.” You practically purr, the distorted warmth filling you. It’s unhealthy how much you like him paired with how much you want him to like you. Unhealthy or not, you don’t care. If he can have unhealthy views and plans, so can you.

You hear the end of his line go dead, having hung up on you. You give a mocking put from behind the scream mask. Quickly, you let your thumb fly over the numbers. You snap the phone closed, happy to see that this is the start of something very exciting.

> Can’t wait to work with you, Sweetheart ;))

#my fics #edward nashton x reader #edward nashton x male reader #x reader #x male reader #the riddler #the riddler x reader #the riddler x male reader #x trans male reader #the riddler x trans male reader #edward nashton x trans male reader #mdni blog

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tra-archive · 7 months ago

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Hey i'm the previous anon, and i think you missed some point. İntersectionality is important as you say, but whilst trans women hold the power (or seems like) by the virtue of being born male, transitioning is something that dismisses that power. I think it's somehing that's different from things like, as you said, race. A white woman's white privilege does not goes away by the virtue of her being a woman. But after transition, a trans woman's male privilege goes. For example, a friend of mine is trans. She faces misogyny in her field, and she if she were to go and say them she's trans they would not go "oh, sorry, my mistake!!!". They would probs react with disgust but contunie their misogyny nonetheless. I know this specific thing happens because she passes, but even before she passed, people didn't treat her like a with the respect they would do to a guy at all. Not even with the respect they would treat to a gnc guy.

Btw ik some ppl might see it and think the reverse happens to trans men, but from what i seem, it does not!! From my observations, privilege in regards to gender -and transitioning- is something that can very easily taken away. But isnt given.

This is gonna be kind of long, so I’ll put a read more.

I appreciate you outlining that so well! I do think a fully passing trans person wouldn’t be recognized as male and thus not have some of the male privileges in places like work, as you said.

However I guess when I bring up privilege, one of the main things they have privilege in that we don’t is reproductive rights. All female people, even those who can’t get pregnant, are affected by those rights getting taken away (just wait until November when Trump inevitably wins, I guarantee there will be more than just abortion taken away). But since trans women are male, they do not face the same danger as we do in this area. Also not ever having to deal with periods is a privilege in itself, considering the stigma and misinformation surrounding periods and also the struggle many women have to buy products. This is where the male privilege is.

I also wanted to point out that- and not all trans people are like this, I’m aware- many MTFs have expressed that experiencing misogyny is affirming to them and actually makes them feel slightly happy because it’s a sign of passing. While I understand how debilitating dysphoria is and I know that it’s awful to deal with, being able to see a “bright side” of misogyny is a privilege. A male person didn’t have to grow up with misogyny surrounding them, while a female person does. So there is a privilege in being able to feel affirmed by oppression.

But I mean yeah it’s not a simple thing to think about and discuss, like you said. Passing trans people have privileges in some areas but lose them in others. Intersectionality and not living in an echo chamber is important to me so I’m always up for hearing other perspectives (as long as you aren’t an asshole about it).

Sorry for the long response😭

#ask #anon

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my-castles-crumbling · 9 months ago

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Oh my godddd do I need ur advice Cassssssssss! So in my friend group with have this mildly sexist joke, of whenever an annoying man does something irritating, we say “ugh men suck”. I am conscious that an “ugh women suck” would offend our group and therefore we’re hypocritical, but to be fair, we say it when men randomly sexualise us, they say it when women cry… so? Anyway, the other day, me (im a girl btw), and two of my other friends were hanging out in town. Ones a girl and ones a boy.

And this guy walks past and catcalls us, and my friend rolls her eyes and goes “ugh men fucking suck”. And my guy friend (who btw him and our other guy friend have said they’re fine with these jokes as long as we don’t act like they’re a part of it? u know) jokingly goes “ouch”. It’s a joke. I knew it was a joke and laughed. He’s respectful and kind and sweet and the type of guy to agree that that type of guy SUCKS.

BUT MY FRIEND goes; “Oh not you, you don’t count. You’re not a real guy.”

He’s trans.

And I wanted to punch her.

OF FUCKING COURSE HES A GUY. He literally put more effort into being a guy than any other guy you’ve ever met. All other guys are born having to be guys. He had to put the effort in to be called a guy. He’s more guy than any other guy.

But I didn’t punch her or correct her because knowing my guy friend, I knew he wouldn’t want to bring it up. He sort of looked at me, and me at him, and then there was an awkward silence before we went back to normal.

So we walk home and drop him off at his place and I give him a look, roughly translates to “is it cool if I bring up earlier to her and tell her she made u uncomfty.” and he gives me a look that’s sort of like “u know I hate talking abt this stuff but I don’t want that to happen again so sure, thanks”.

So we’re walking, its just us two now, and as we go I say, “Hey mind if we talk abt something u said today, I don’t think you meant it this way but I think it upset *my guy friend”

And she says sure and looks kinda confused. So I bring up the whole, you’re not a real guy, thing. And she says she didn’t mean it that way.

So I say, “You know I think you’re really lovely, and it was an accident and all, just for future reference, saying he’s not a real guy, it can cause dysphoria. So he feels like you’re rejecting him being trans and being a guy.”

And she’s goes “But he’s not a guy. He was a girl first so he gets it.” And I go “But he’s always felt like a guy and now he’s presenting as a guy and using male pronouns, so you saying he’s not a real guy is upsetting for him”.

And she goes “But he’s like us so he’s not a real guy.”

So I go “What? He doesn’t have a dick, is that it?” (i’m getting a lil defensive at this point, i’ve known my guy friend for YEARS and she’s a newer friend of like this year- and before this point very lovely, so i’m like confused and annoyed) then i say “Or is it that he’s nice. Did you mean he’s nice, like *our other guy friend who btw isn’t trans*. Not the type to catcall ppl?”

And she goes “Yeah. That. But like, if you think of a guy, you think the sort of body type right? He has our body or whatever. I’m not saying he’s not a guy. Just not a full guy.”

So I go, “No. No he is a ‘full’ guy. He’s as much guy as any other guy. And if you say he’s not- look my point is that saying that sort of thing really upsets him so please don’t in the future.”

And SHE GOES “Well if he has a problem he can tell me himself”.

GIRL WHAT THE FUCK? Okay look, I love my friends. And i’m not often the type to choose sides because a lot of arguments at 18 are petty ones. But I won’t be friends with this girl if I know she’s going to be transphobic and make one of my closest friends uncomfortable. Even if she doesn’t realise she’s being a transphobe.

So I say “please look this up so you understand why it would upset him. He doesn’t like to talk abt this stuff, but it bothers him”.

And she goes “how do you know it bothers him if he doesn’t talk abt it.”

And yes this could be genuine, if she finds it tough to read emotions on ppls faces, so I tried to be fair in answering.

I go, “Well, he seemed upset when you said it. And that sort of comment has been said to him before, and in private he’s mentioned that he doesn’t like it.”

We’ve had long talks abt the way it bothers him. But she doesn’t need to know that. He hates talking to ppl he’s not really close to abt this stuff since they can swerve any second (like this girl now).

So she goes “If he can tell u, why can’t he tell me?” And I go “He’s just more comfortable around me since we’ve known each other so long.”

(i would like to add in here, we are very good friends but also not the type to leave ppl out. She didn’t have a “reason” for her comment or a reason to be mad. We were all chatting all day. Never left her out. Just because we’ve known her less long, it didn’t bother me or him. There was no duo in a trio thing all day- I only brought up our closer relationship now since it seemed like a good way to explain it to her)

And she goes “Oh my god so you knew him before he transitioned then? What’s his deadname?”

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK!

I go silent. Then I say “I’ve known him a long time.” And then I go silent again and she doesn’t say anything and we walk the remaining like two- three minutes to her place. My house is like five minutes from there, it’s the exact way so it’s not like I could’ve gone a dif route.

So yeah. That happened.

So I text my guy friend once i’m home and give him the debrief.

He ends up deciding he doesn’t want to make this a thing. She’s friends with our bigger group- which is like 9-10 ppl- so he doesnt want to cause anything, even tho they’d all happily explain why she’s being a transphobe. He said he didn’t want her to feel ganged up on.

HES TOO NICE. WHAT THE HELL.

So I text him; “if she says anything else transphobic i’ll do my best to explain it to her and have her stop but if it becomes more than one more comment I think we should consider her friendship cause I know you’ll be uncomfortable and I don’t want to be friends with a transphobe.”

So yeah. Look I get that partly it’s not fair. She wasn’t raised somewhere where they’d teach her this stuff. She doesn’t understand that she’s being transphobic. But also, she should look this stuff up and listen when I tell her, instead of disregarding me when i’m tryna help.

But I also really want to get through to her. But most importantly I want my guy friend to be comfortable around his friends. But he’s way to nice to bring up what she said to everyone else (they would not approve either).

Hi!

Oh, wow.

Okay, first, I want to commend you for approaching this where you're trying not to make your guy friend uncomfortable while still being an ally. Genuinely, it sounds like you're a fantastic friend, and you're trying hard to listen to his needs.

This is so hard, because at first, I was like- oh! The other friend is just ignorant. A lot of people who make comments like that are ignorant, and like...even as a trans person, I can see the twisted way of thinking that ted to those comments.

But then, after being gently and kindly corrected, the friend doubled down, and THAT is the problem.

People are allowed to make mistakes, especially when they may have been raised with a set of views. But to double down like that is where I take issue, and I think you're right to take issue as well.

HOWEVER:

This is first and foremost, your guy friend's battle. If he doesn't want to make a big deal out of it, you need to respect his wishes. You're absolutely correct (and very smart by realizing) that these comments can cause dysphoria, which is awful. But it could be that your guy friend wants to cope with that by not acknowledging it. And that's valid.

So I think the right thing to do is to not bring this specific issue up unless he asks. But if your other friend says generally transphobic things, I think it's okay to correct them if you feel comfortable. So like, if your other friend says "'Guy friend' is emotional like a girl." then I would wait for your guy friend's permission to say something. But if she says like.. "Trans people should have to go to the bathroom of their gender assigned at birth," then you can speak up. You can also choose on your own to take space from this other friend.

You can also be there for your guy friend by reminding him that you know those comments are not okay, and you support him however he needs.

I know it's a lot to think about, but I really think you're doing a great job. Write back with updates! I'm naming you commendable anon in case you do!

#ask #asks #ask cas #commendable anon

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lilyhoshikawa · 2 years ago

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So between the time of the prelude part of ATSV, where Gwen’s dad rejects her and she becomes effectively homeless, to the scene toward the end where they reconcile, she:

- Grows her hair out a noticeable amount, dyes the end on one side

- Changes the design of her Spider-Woman suit (the prelude scene uses the ITSV costume and it is slightly different after her reintroduction)

- Goes on “a couple dozen” missions with Hobie, becomes close with him, eventually good enough friends that she can crash at his place and steal his shoes

- Spends enough time in the Spider Society to become closer with Jess and to some extent Miguel, enough so that she talks about them to Miles as if she knows them well, and to the extent that Jess views Gwen as her “star pupil” (whether that comment have been made seriously or demeaningly, it implies they’re close enough that Gwen will catch the message and that they’ve spent some time working together). Miguel also later implies that Gwen “knew better” during the Mumbattan mission, again implying she’s been at least taught this stuff and Miguel is aware of that

- Spends enough time apart from Miles that both parties are experiencing a lot of longing to see one another again. This is hard to quantify bc there’s also the time between the end of the first movie and the prelude to take into account, but it still feels meaningful. It’s been long enough that Miles has filled a sketchbook with doodles of Gwen, which has to have taken awhile

And I’m thinking abt all of this, and how that’s easy to miss. In the scene with Miles, Gwen doesn’t directly mention that she’s homeless or that her dad basically kicked her out, she says Hobie lets her crash in his dimension sometimes, but she’s obviously underselling how long it’s been just the same as she’s underselling a lot of other things in that scene. I think we’re kind of underestimating just how big the gap in time was that Gwen was away from home, why her dad changed his tune when she reappeared, at least partially. It’s possible part of why he was willing to listen was bc Gwen just DISAPPEARED for anywhere from weeks to months.

And that’s a period of time that can’t have been easy for her either- effectively homeless, prohibited from seeing Miles, only having a few ppl to confide in, and being indoctrinated by the Spider Society’s toxic beliefs surrounding the canon. It’s no wonder she behaves the way she does after Miles meets back up with her, given what she’s been through and is still going through at that point, and I think a lot of ppl are quick to jump the gun when blaming Gwen for not immediately jumping to Miles’ defense. Sure, she was wrong to side with the Spider Society, but keep in mind that they were effectively dangling homelessness in front of her at every turn. Jess threatens her when she sneaks off to see Miles just once, just briefly, and after she’s determined to have “failed” a second time, Miguel makes good on that threat by dumping Gwen back in her home dimension and shutting off her watch, effectively abandoning her altogether. If her dad had so much as withheld Hobie’s watch from her, if he hadn’t been willing to make amends, she would be stranded with nowhere to go. So the fact that she still puts herself on the line to go after Miles? Pretty goddamn commendable.

A lot of ppl talk abt the obvious transness of Gwen in this movie, both allegorically in her arc and subtextually with all the neon trans pride flag colors the movie keeps slapping u in the face with to make sure u get it (not saying that as an insult btw- with trans allegories, blunter is better, given how reluctant general audiences clearly are to accepting trans characters being canonized), but this is one element I don’t see discussed as much. Gwen embodies this very raw, vivid element of the trans and especially transfeminine experience in this movie.

She is a homeless transfem minor, kicked out of her house by a parent that does not accept her identity, who finds a home with the first group of ppl who are like her and willing to accept her for who she is. She is desperate to please them because they’re her only support system, even as they actively cut off her other avenues for support and make her reliant on them, frequently threatening her with abandonment unless she falls in line, shuts up and acts as she’s told to, knowing that if they drop her she has nowhere else to go. That’s the lived experience of many a trans woman who goes looking for help in a desperate situation. It’s extremely hard not to sympathize with her knowing that.

#rambles #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers #gwen stacy #atsv spoilers #ATSV

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prestonmonterey · 1 year ago

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camp here and there thoughts

considered spamming my friend, but instead ill put stuff here.

this is all my thoughts from as im listening to it, btw

sydney and jedidiah are quincent confirmed?!! (not clickbait)

i will literally eat up any character named rowan no questions asked

the first bit with the penguins reminds me of burrows end

one of my favorite silly weird things is time going past the numbers it should (reminds me of everything is fine. i think it was like, the first episode? digital clock goes from 2:59 to 2:60? super cool, love it)

"let us live to die another day" (will you live to see tomorrow or die another dayyy// once a spy always a spy.... sorry, sorry)

i love that theres emojis in the transscripts

i feel so bad for the vegans at camp

mentions of apocalypse? a character called rowan? (you know what time it is folks: obscure lyric references!!!! (my beautiful apocolypse, if i asked you to be mine, would our purposes align?) again, sorry. ill stop. no i wont.)

woo! sydney feelings hour!

i love syndey telling his tape recorder not to tell anyone about his hallucinations

ok random thing i just noticed the titles have like part of the one before them and part of the one after and thats just pretty cool

why is the sky always bad

sydney being very normal about death and jedidiah bein like 'no' is also very quincent

interesting the 'when you die you will rot' is a recurring thing

sydeys laugh is so cute i love himmm

ok so theres like a spider cabin, moth cabin, ladybug cabin and BATTLE CABIN?

children being bribed by sugar is one of the most realistic parts of this

ok but the distinction between reanimation and true necromancy is actually really cool

sydney as much as i love you why the heck did you say thick like that

(when youre a ghost recorder, no one knows your name, but they wont try to stop you if you arent playing the game)

'our bedroom' actually screaming

the voice acting is such yum

again, sydneys noncholance about death related things

omg gay?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor jedidiah is so pathetic and bbg

for the record i hate oposite day too

gasp: a navarro (makes sense shes a tyrant) (im refrencing gentlemens guide to love and murder? i think? i dont even know at this point)

i love that all of ep 5 is sydney being too extra and jedidiah being the most exasperated

ok so maybe the implication is that matthew isnt human, but also ppl can have extra color cones, but only afab ppl bc color cones are in the x chromosome (thats also why men are more likely to be color blind) so trans matthew hc now

sydney are your eyes ok??

justice for sydneys fancy soap

if someone does magic and hurts sydney i will cry

ok so now with confirmation that they use analog clocks i really wana know what they look like

also i was thinking about why the music from last ep reminded me of something v specific and i think its yokai watch?

"babe" ok theyve got to be gay right???

sydneys allergic to seeing goo? interesting

father time? a bastard? omg you know what time it is (hehehe time bastard)

sydney and jedidiah are so cute im actually going to die

aww i want lava cake w real lava :( (fun fact by strange definition water is technicaly a form of lava)

ok so the amount of wholesomeness makes me think something bad is going to happen

"theyre penny loafers :("

rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan rowan!!!

the audio design is so yummy idk if i said that already

(uhh i accidentaly skipped most of ep six so back to that)

(the elephant man is just dead ambrose and sydney is vincent if they werre better at communicating)

"worms arent people" uh, YES THEY ARE, rude.

jedidiah whatever your project is it cant be so important that you havent played chess with your bf in A COUPLE OF YEARS wtf

(ok now to regularly scheduled friendship goo)

sydney calling the camper different animals is one of my favorite things

why is the sky always fucked up

"scary things like...men" sir you are men (but also same i am so scared of men and also are men)

jeDIDiah lmao

"your husband" and sydney just goes with it

ok but why is sydney slowly giving more and more louis taopp vibes (plz dont be like him)

i love casual loredrops about chocolate shortages

"friends" sure.. sure.

ok... so sydney did know that jedidiah had pics of him in his office? bc they used to be on the corkboard/?????

poor bb sydney is sad that his husband isnt telling him things

"[Scoffs] Friend. As if we’re not… we’re not… [Sighs] we’re not." noo im gonna actually cry (i am- i was... i'm supposed to be the best/ref)

i wanna see sydneys haunted house and skeleton cat drawings :(

"Put the Silly Putty back. You don’t need more Silly Putty." (my friends @ me when i watch another musical) (myself @ me when i eat another one of rowans fandoms >:3)

"co-nurse" idk if hes actually the assistant or not but i think sydney calls him that bc control? bc he wants power

also jedidiah uses am and pm which is interesting bc i dont think sydney does

ok now i get why sydney doesnt like joshua

the trivia sections of fan wikis are my favorite thing on this planet. "it is unknown whether or not the color green exists"

btw they actually mention green eggs and ham in ep 1 so i think its at least a concept

i still hc trans matthew. no fan wiki can take that away from me >:(

juniper daddy issues confirmed??

"Well, we can — petition her!" (i will try to petition my father/ref sorry sorry sorry)

Wait, one more: Cunt. (uuh, fucker /ref. will anyone even get that one? its filled my brain. i dont remember any quotes before or after... it's taopp. uh, the scene with louis and jason in the hallway or something)

we love sydney trauma dumping 2 mins into an ep

i wonder if he sometimes forgets hes broadcasting to a bunch of middle schoolers

i wonder if joshua knows that middle schoolers arent usually 14

i love that sydney doesnt know what oatmeal is

sydney: if only my husband would play 20 dimensional chess w me :(

"Lucille has a flamethrower. You have to listen to what she says." the only lesson ever

natsume def has parent issues

just remembered that the trees produce defensive slick

i want teethh flowers :(

"and I fear that the end is near." (the end is coming, the end is coming! /ref)

"as sweet, and patient, and motherly, and forgiving as she is" so... not at all?

i love the silly old timey music omg its so fun

gasp cannon date. thats crazy. someone better have a timeline theory bout this.

aww no teeth flowers? :(

im concerned about sorens stones

is the ticking clock new? it feels new

oh huneee :(

just remembered the notes in the description. thats lore, right? prolly im too lazy to check.

Word to the wise: you ever come across that statue, do not look her in the eyes. (the fact that it rhymes too) (someone should make a cover of a word to the wise but with this line) (please?)

matthew appreciation time

sydney mommy issues?

jesus heck how many cabins are there?

is that what the pebbles were for???? im still scared.

sydney's silly drum roll gives me life

im actually so in love with matthew

sacrificial rituals, yay!

D: can they just be gay and happy? please?

they better get happy >:(

the spooky is rly goodd tho

mommy issues: the episode?

again, we love sydney trauma time before minute 3 of the episode

mila is a theater kid confirmed?!

sydney it seems like theres alot to unpack about your mom...

i dont think i want to know what horn sap is

"It’s all very delightful, b-but quite strange" idk the way he says that line is so vincentcore

im v worried for marie ann

"Don’t worry — they aren’t real ants. But it is a real log! " honestly id rather eat ants than a whole tree

"bending over to whisper in my ear." sydney is a short king <3

ohh the centipedes

i love the contrast of ideas its super spooky.

“I’ve just got to do better,” (never let yourself rest, they can try to despise you, but not your success) (also ambrose vibes. idk, but like maybe jedidiah has a similar 'if im perfect then people will finally love me' thing goin on?)

“Give me a hard time, okay? We both deserve that.” (more ambrose vibes)

i think hes looking for validation from lucille?

i like that the va's voice patterns makes it clear when hes talking quietly even though the audios still at the same volume

"I know I’ve constructed a few effigies in my time. " (effigies of the god appolo, dickweed /ref)

"There is a clear block of resin on my desk with a centipede inside. He wants to swap places with me. Lately, I am tempted to let him." spooky

(last couple eps had, like, news broadcasts at the beginning? idk if its been like that the whole time, but probably lore stuff.)

o no is it rock time? (also soren sounds like such a cartoon character i cannot get over it)

is mother of stones the reanimation lady from the death fields or whatever?

i love that the only actually vegan thing given to the vegans so far is assorted leaves

i have a feeling that normal day might not be normal...

idk why would worshiping a statue of stones to be reborn into a second life in the middle of the forest be illegal?

ohh its bc normal day i already forgot/

" Un-resurrect? Un… resurrect… Were we going to “surrect” the rabbit?" (i prefer 'mercy killing' /ref)

i want juniper and joshua rivals to lovers/rivals to friends content. just putting that out there.

sydney just kill the rabbit

ok the fact that sydney is worried about this death-related thing is really unsettling

aoisfeorgijefmoigjt4ri4tgoirjjitog this is so spooky i love it so much

sydney needs proper therapy

"I know I’m beating a dead horse, but the guy wants something from me, and he does something to me, and I don’t like that he just gets to be around no matter how much I protest!" (grace when max)

and it all comes back to control

poor baby boy

:(((((((((((((((((((((((

(poor boy, tormented /ref)

why he bri'ish

nevermind i dont want juniper content anymore

"jeddie, m'boy"

why does anyone like him

yes, yes rowan is handsome

himbo juniper, but i still hate him

"it’ll steal all your nutrients until you wither and die!" (its infectious, its deadly, its one to be feared /ref)

"I’ve always wanted to be killed by something that loved me." dont. dont say that sydney.

soren is the dark magic sugar daddy of camp. prove me wrong.

"Would a child really do that? Just come to Summer Camp and tell lies?" yes. they would.

song? song!!!!

if this isnt on the soundtrack imma be pissed

idk how to explain this, but salems voice is really sharp

i certainly dont want to know what ostrich cream is...

if this makes sydney bottle up his feeling and muck up his relationship with jedidiah more im not gonna be happy

(ok so i was just informed that its going to get worse and,, i dont know how to emotionally prepare myself.) (also its past 10:30 pm so bear with me if my thoughts get a lil incoherent. as if they ever were coherent)

cant remember if this happens with sydney too but theres static when jedidiah says the time. interesting

so sydneys smoke thing is unique to him??

we do love occupying characters with a physical task during conversations

ig marisol prioritizes efficiency and salem prioritizes the wellbeing of the kids

also salem dont badmouth sydnel like that

gay??

more confirmation that sydney needs therapy

im v glad marisols on sydneys side

jedidiah is bein kinda silly, marisols like 'he makes me uncomfy' and hes like 'just dont feel uncomfy'

if only sydney and jedidiah were as good at communication as the sapphics

love that sydney is like 'dont swear!!!!' but dumps all of his trauma on the kids

noo im sad :(

"It’s a laaaaaazy day today." <<<(me tomorrow after not sleeping all night)

nothing bad better happen on the speepy day >:(

"Men. Men sure are mysterious." mood

"I can’t describe how it feels to see a blue sky… almost… apocalyptic. " i love subverting expectations and turning something ordinary into something completely paranormal.

also vambrose moment (the apple)

o great thats where the canibalism comes in

eugh

i do not want

(and this is why salem is worried about you buddy. dont share stuff like that with kids.)

on the other hand kids arent, like innocent to this type of thing, really. i used to babysit my friends lil sister ( i think she was in 2nd or 3rd grade?) shed make lego skits about people murdering eachother, with like, a lot of detail too. and i dont think she was raised on particularly violent media. she played pokemon go on her parents phone or doodles in kids drawing apps. i think kids just kinda gravitate towards these kinds of things, especially if theyre told theyre not supposed to.

o no sydney being normal about the elephant man is not good

"You get hungry." hungy theme within his dreams?

"I like animals because they never forget to be scared: of starving, of getting eaten, of getting hurt or sick." also reaccuring thing from the bunny

and centipede thing. and ants. (im guessing bc its a dream it s lots of things relating to his current situation, especially thematically) (also i believe ants were brought up at some point when he said something along the lines of 'it felt like ants were eating my stomach lining'

the writing is so good its unfair

"I should never have forgotten to be scared." this is really interesting bc so far hes only been really scared by the elephant man.

"and none of the birds could speak English." ok i think its extremely disturbing to consider the fact that 'its a uniquely human thing to surpress pain' so the birds CAN talk but theyre still animals. they never forget to be scared and they never think to hide their discomfort.

also geez this episode is so dark compared to the others. it makes sense in universe, bc most of this is going on in sydneys head.

noo matthew was affected he better be ok after >:(

also appreciation for the slowing music, i didnt really register at first but thats definitely bc of the weird time happenings. and then the crank and it speeds up? super cool!

this series is so fun!!!

im a bit worried that jedidiahs 'extra special clock' may have something to do with his project? especially considering he has a lot of clocks around his office

more hungy, i think that bc he was hungy but didnt really realize it bc time weirdness, it seeped into his dreams somehow?

appreciation for sydney being able to eat garlic bread

also interesting thing, idk if its relevant in universe or just a writing thing, but no matter what happens with time it seems to always be resolved for sydney to know when 25:25 is.

oh fuck the canibalism is back

icky

i do not want

nope nope nope its getting worse

sorry im blood squeemish

more elephant man lore

kinda spooky. maybe his powers rely on electricity? or theres some greater creature hes afraid of that haas that effect

appreciation for the ending music of ep 16, and also just all the music in that ep.

hive? (the apothiosis is upon us?)

also really different music for the intro. idk if its like a genre or something related to hives, but its style really reminded me of queen b from nightmare time.

i want a waterslide to nowhere

i dont want a bri'ish man talkin bout 'beans on the cob' to be responsible for my safety, like, ever.

more sydney lore! poor bb sounds like he needs a hug. particularly from one Jedidiah A.A. Martin

i love the corporate bg music during harmlessmart its such a nice touch.

matthew matthew matthew matthew

fresh honeycomb sky.. hive theming?

this is exactly the shenanigans that middles schoolers get upto when theyre realeased into the woods

" So it has been, and so it will be; eternal in all directions in time." idk i just like this quote,

more ants

sports crystals = pokey?

bee tsunami

so he is co-nurse... when does jedidiah ever do his job? where is he?

noo sydney not the corner bread

comunicate!!! please!!!

"but he must love me, right?" :(((((((((((((((((

" — my journals." of course jedidiah only cares when it relates to his project. so quincycore, but if quincy didnt care about his bf.

idk if i should keep watching this tonight. on one hand, if i keep watching i might cry bc sad, but if i stop i will definitely cry.

"He would always be the father, and I would always be the mother" (blitzstonecore)

"How he could love something so much… and forget to feed it." (he loves sydney, he just forgets to take care of him. in the way sydney needs, instead of the way jedidiah thinks he needs.)

a grey sky

reading wikis again, and the warriors thing is just such a mood, and idk if the creators understand dnd stats properly, or if he jus sucks that much at living, but negative stats are not possible. like players usually cant get below a 3. and -4 means he has like -7 con, so he has 1 hit points at first level, which is really pathetic. yes im going to nerd about this. (i think its super funny bc, like sure w a 19 for wisdom he probably wouldnt fail wis saves, but on the off chance that he did, viscious mockery, a bard cantrip, will knock him out no matter what, and if it rolls i think a 3 or 4 it completely kills him. he could be killed by a single insult.)

(ive been informed that this will make more sense once i finish it, and now im v scared)

(also prolly shouldnt be reading the wiki rn bc spoilers, but im doin it anyway.)

again, the stats are SO EXTREME. not as bad as sydney. he could feasibly weild a weapon (strenghth or dex if finesse i think) he has reasonable con which is good bc wizards have absolutely no health. idk whats up with his wisdom (ive heard it described as 'street smarts' and int as 'book smarts' but i think it kinda goes hand in hand with rizz for interactions, bc its used for like insight, which is kinda important to talk to people.) (thats actually something id say maybe doesnt work well with sydneys high wis. so far it seems like, while he is quite observant, hes not always super great at reading the room, or at least thats what ive gathered)

also idk about the charisma bc so far jedidiah seems a bit more put together in the persuasion/deception/intimidation area of things.

might eep now. that means its a great time for you to drink some water.

do it. stay hydrated. it mustve taken a ton of mental energy to get through this post, so you should take a break. get a glass of water, get a snack, take care of yourself. (sleep if its past midnight or if your name is rowan) then you can come back and finish reading this shitshow :]

ok its morning time to finish this (maybe)

restarted ep 16 bc i forgor

omg wait sydneys usin am and theres static

i love that theres a credit card stealing fish.

no sydney youre doing it again what did salem say

relation to sydneys worms?

"If he didn’t value these creatures when they were alive, why was he so affected by their deaths?" STOP NO IM ALREADY SAD I GET IT

and thats why sydney wont kill the centipede?

w h a t

spooky music

is the hive conected to the elephant man?

excuse me did he just call worms many legged creatures (ig like worms as in maggots and caterpillars and silkworms, not earthworms)

i love that theres always some counselors that dont get to participate in the camp meetings

sydneys impression of jedidiahs voice is so silly

"But I like endings; I like closure. That was the point of this whole exercise." more with sydney being more ok with death perhaps?

“Ha. Abandoning your child in a lake . . . . so that’s what motherhood means for you?” NO NO NO NO NO :(((

"But I am not my mother." so this is why hes so protective of the kids?

rowan hero?

this feels less like a hive and more like an egg

rowan hero!

bad smoke, different smoke?

hive queen

ye i was right, it egg

so they WERE gay at some point???

interesting that jedidiah doesnt mention the elephant man breaking into his office

he frames it as 'im worried about sydney' even though hes been ignoring sydneys concern until it affected himself

ye ye lucille gets it he only cares about himself and his project

hes emotionally attatched to sydney, but he doesnt take care of him, because he doesnt understand what it means to not be taken care of

sydney taught himself how to love, and he makes a conscious effort to try his best, but he prioritizes the kids because he doesnt want to be like his mom

ye ye lucille call out the lil guy

lucille has the same thoughts about the elephant man as jedidiah did before he tried to take the journals

noticed the clock ticking

ohh so spooky bad stuff in the journals?

jedidiahs trying to keep sydney safe, reminds me of the "it was cozy and safe, like a prison" thing

also lucille bein his mom explains why sydney and jedidiah are close?

jedidiah doesnt like death, maybe hes afraid of it. because its closure, like sydney said. bc he doesnt know how to care about something while its alive, so he settles for greiving when its gone.

also the ending 'do not anger it" is a repeat i think?

o no more tree stuff?

am again and static

at least today the vegans get somethig they can maybe eat?

so he is the assisstant nurse? confusion

buddy are you sure thats not a corpse

assuming the things jedidiahs getting shipped in are related to his project, hes making progress?

again with him prioritizes his project above sydney

also minor thing about the lunch b i feel like hes kinda underestimating sydneys intelligence (of course judging by the dnd stats its barely above average) and thats also v quincy of him

also i think he forgot to say the time, but theres static for dinner, prolly bc pm

interesting i dont remember when sydney switched. was it always like that? 19:04 PM implies a 19:04 AM, and thats a lotta hours

sydney appreciating nature

do you even like goo arts? arent you allergic to goo

ok really interesting that they bring this up bc sydney was just talking about how he and jedidiah had a bag of acorns that they took home? and they were fine

plant spooky

related to project?

time static

:((((

his lil eep is v cute

not even chess. bro why do you even check on him if youre too tired to play chess

clock tic

physically safe.

sad gay

more clocks tic

no you cant end the ep like that

sydneys still gone :(((((

juniper no one likes you dont laugh at your own jokes

oh but rowan honey is getting juniper to his job worth putting up with his horrible voice and personality

its extremely ironic that jedidiah is responsible for mediating counselor arguements when he doesnt comunicate with his own husband

"how do I explain to you that you need to care about other people?" DONT SAY THAt... it makes me sad...

"I worry about you sometimes, though, y’know?" heres a concrete difference between juniper and jedidiah: juniper actually makes the effort to care about rowans worry, even if he cant empathize with it. honestly i think this episode is included to show jedidiah through a different light, bc so far it seems like him and juniper are very similar.

they both rarely do their actual work, and have someone they care about who has a (maybe) irrational fear of something they cant understand

"You keep saying all this nice shit to him like it means anything and then consistently letting him down with your behavior." showing jedidiah recognises these traits in other people but not himself.

"Your actions are what matter to the people around you, not your words or your intentions or your thoughts or your fucking anything else but your actions, and your actions show Sydney loud and clear that you don’t give a shit about him." aaand he let it slip. he knows hes doing the same, maybe? some part of him gets that.

hopefully after this there will actualy be some kind of positive change?

not sure if this is important, as i havent been reading the other log thingies, but under minor insight into it repeats a bullet point

theory: the elephant man took sydney???

"I promise you kids I will attend dutifully to the nurse’s office in Sydney’s absence. Or, I’ll make sure someone is, at least." more jedidiah avoiding his actual job, similar to juniper

again sydney prioritizes knowledge above all else, maybe a similarity to jedidiah

"One by one, we all stay alive…" cant remember if this was like an endy thing but it sounds familiar.. either way super spooky

yvonne dyslexic not clickbait?

"Of course I can, it’s — plain English." ok interesting def a thing about either yvonne or jedidiah, bc like they dont see the notes the same???

"I wanted her to get angry. I wanted a fight. I wanted consequences. I… I wanted… it to matter." he wants closure. he wants people to care about him

"She was kind then. So was Jedidiah." :(

:(((((((((((((

"really hard to believe that he would just — get up and leave." jedidiahs frustrated by the thought that sydney might not care about him like he thought?

another mention of religion. yvonne also mentioned praying in the last ep, and a while ago sydney talked about jedidiah being a 'good christian boy' or something like that

nvm that was the beginning of the last ep

im very good at life as you can tell

sorry back to 22

this is so strange

nother mention of religion

"My heartbeat has synced up with the ceaseless ticking… " reminds me of a comment i saw relating jedidiahs clocks to his heartbeat? idk i dont remember

this is... really disturbing. i dont know why

"holy day". interesting

this feels manipulative

no no elephant man if you turn sydney against jedidiah i will be very angy

wait isnt this like cult tactics, like asking someone to meet up in a low stakes setting, love bombing, asking them to do something to prove their loyalty. (i vaguely remember this from some yt video i watched about cats)

"Show you a love you have never known." hes preying on sydneys desire to be wanted, to be cared about

this is so unsettling my god.

" Jedidiah’s search party " means lucille aproved it?

"I mean, y’know, live like you’re dying, right? " (exexprincecore)

"What do you mean “that’s one way to put it”? Yvonne, these are blank papers!" enchanted papers?????????

ok sydney dont lie to them'

"Um. Okay. Listen. Sydney… I don’t want to lose you." but he doesnt really care, still

clock ticking

"the tree finds human happiness nauseating." huh.

"violent criminal history in the state of arkansas" thats all i could catch from the news thingy at the start, for some reason its not on the ep transcripts :(,,, but didnt elijah say hes from arkansas??? is that anything?

theres still static with the time

theyre dead?? like straight up?? all of cabin widow spider?

oh ok theyre not fully dead

as, like, the only sane person who cares about the elephant man, i wonder what marisols reaction is?

sports field? what about the musically inclined crystals?

hhehehe forgot that soren sounds like a cartoon villain

he nya like cat

...does the project have some relation to necromancy????????

tap tap tap tap tap tap

so crackers and butter cookies count as bread???

" but without death, it will never live." (to show ya the horror of stayin alive) (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

"Not because we want to, but because we must." ^^^^

wait wait wait i think i remember the one by one thing. but it was "one by one we all survive" and then "one by one we all stay alive" or something lik e that, so its interesting that it changed.

"but I can’t believe any amount of money would convince her to completely ignore the safety of the kids." again thingy with prioritizing the kids

"Seems this strain of mold just turns us into zombies, like… interpersonally?" mood

hahahaha juniper already is like that so the mold didnt have any effect

hun he is definitely deliberately manipulating yp

ok so idk about any of endy bits so far but it keeps bringing up not angering it and they "youve angered it" and im guessing if anything it has something to do with elijah??? or the project?? maybe both idk

"It’s like you don’t even care about the kids here anymore." huh

and it all comes back to control.

"Jedidiah… [Sigh] this mediation session isn’t for you and me." they need to go to couples therapy

" [Whisper] I miss you. .... I’m such a fucking idiot. " :((((

can the gays just be happy? just for a little bit? can elijah go away? can everyone please for the love of god or whatever just be happy for one goddamed moment?

no am, still static

i dont think thats a river

also, 'rapids'? he said like a moment before it was still, which kinda means its just more lake, and the land partially seperating it is an island

"they’re hungry for a sense of intellectual superiority." i love that the creatures in and around camp are half spooky half completely mundane

ye for once i think junipers right its more like a moat

"For today’s breakfast we have an eel’s head stuck upon a 500-year-old sword and slathered with pea mush — a hometown delicacy suggested by Juniper. He says they call it “scrumpledydumps!”" (ugh. british people.)

hc sydneys proficient in animal handling

... he feels like a curse and not in control of his life :(

forgot about the macaronis

uhh wouldnt a bridge make the hunt like destroy cam

(the horse? the divorce? /ref)

"I can’t figure out what this poor fox eats." is this a reference to the fly thing? showing contrast bc sydney actually thinks to take care of it?

still no am or pm but theres static

:((((((((((((((((((

please let them be happy? (this is why i stil havent finished yellow jacket. i simply cannot handle characters being sad or the undeniable feeling that something terrible is going to happen)

"the tree also finds human fear nauseating." huh.

clocks. are we finally gonna learn more about the project/??

no more river

beeping

what the actual f u c k is going on

id let matthew poison me with arsenic

holy fucking shit

i love that sydney raises his voice when he does an imression of joshua

"You know, when I was a kid, a large portion of my daily diet consisted of complimentary condiment packets from the school cafeteria."...sydney are you okay?/?????

at this point the static is kind of comforting. the only thing consistent at camp other than sydneys trauma

more beeping

huh??? i swear hamsters have been mentioned before

ye ye ye

how does sydney know what hamsters eyes look like if theyve been extinct for millions of years????

" 2:01 AM" WHOA thats new.... is it bc of maintenence? perhaps?

still static

oh fuck no i forgor about the journals

more clocks

FUCK

(extra thing this kinda reminds me of holloweane a bit just bc of the like not being able to give info, of course ms holloway does WANT to, and does try to tell duke, but anyway)

(and now i gotta go do stuff. why did i agree to do stuff after that episode. damn. anyway. this is your reminder to take a break from my ramblings. get some water, stretch, focus your eyes on something that isnt a screen. and of course, if your name is rowan, you should sleep probably)

hi im back

birds. huh.

and a clock tickin, but it stopped before the click.

apple=jedidiah?

what about the second hand???

clocks have knowledge. sydney wants it.

this musics quite the jam

is petrfified wings a thing? it feels farmiliar

" 25-26-100 hour days." hwhat the hell

he wants to be a clock? he wants to be flexible?

is this the extra special clock that fucked up time in that one episode?

wheat feild? related to the death fields? i think sydney mentioned someones wheat allergy in that ep

this is v strange

something.. something train related happened to his dad?

is.. is the next event sydneys death? jedidiahs death?

thats why he doesnt like it? why hes scared of death?

knowledge. thats what they both seek.

FUCK NO elijah go away i dont like you >:(

of course, elijahs using him to get information. also HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW ALL THIS (sydney please get away from that creepy stalker)

"hot tea with honey is good for sore throats." (goddamit emma now i gotta make a tea with honey /rref)

the weird audio thing in the background right after the episode title reminds me of my printer.

poor campers, no salt. nothing better happen to matthew >:(

at least sydney stopped spreading propoganda about the elephant man

oh also hes back to saying the time, am and pm, and our dear friend static

fuck

thats a lot of blood

w h a t

static please help me

what do they have against france

" it’s so funny to watch the fumes struggle to conjure anything worse than what I’ve actually been through." >:0

"[HE BUTCHERES THE PRONUNCIATION]" me too buddy, me too

did...did sydney get a clock?

o no are the penguins gonna come back

sydney are you okay???

all of this better be on the soundtrack

[HE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND CRY.] (mee too budy, me too)

" Are you ready? Why did you lie?" w h a t

ok ok ok im definitely gonna finish this today bc if i dont ill stay up thinking about it anyway

more god, sin and death stuff. also mention of adam, possible relation to up and adam? (intro bit still sounds like a hyperventilating printer)

(this is so long i wonder if anyones actually made it this far. wait atcually the fandoms small so prolly.) (i bet rowans reading this. i bet hes not actually sleeping like i told him to, twice.)

NO ELIJAHS BACK (idk if anyone else is here but i am a member of the elijah hate club)

brought up the ceremony thing again. (still seems kinda cultish)

quiet beeps

louder beeps

this "stupid man" sounds a bit like jedidiah...

"He did not understand how to feed it" again the starving thing

or, is it elijah? idk im confused

also wtf is goin on w the accent

so muse is definitely sydney, prophet is elijah, so yeah i think the architect is jedidiah

"I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection" (uh oh is he gonna pull an ambrose)

kinda sounds like hes gonna set sydney on fire

FUCK SYDNEY YOU BETTER TELL JEDIDIAH (pls just make them be okay)

"…I’m going to start sleeping in the room with Jedidiah again." ok ok thats progress good.. maybe hes not so distrusting of jedidiah anymore??? at least hopefully itll help w his pain

silence.

(reading comments) i saw some ppl saying sydney died and got revived and that makes sense considerign the story but also WHAT THE FUCK

reason jedidiah wont tell him about the project? or why hes so intent on keeping him physically safe? (how much does he know about elijah, bc elijah seems to know a lot about him)

another mention of god in the news before the title

no more printer sounds? maybe i just wasnt payin attention

"Hey, what’s this co-nurse stuff? Aren’t you Sydney’s assistant?" joshua out here askin the real questions

idk whats goin on but somethng seems really off

clock

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. that is no way to end an episode. again, this is why i cant finish yellow jacket. i do not like the sad.

idk if its just me but elijah sounded a bit different.

shit this is already episode 31.

trees

also um fuck what the hell is that title. the pyre??? sydneys just gonna go with it?! dude hes gonna set you on fire !!!

also side note taking a moment to appreciate the pacing of the series so far, the whole time its felt like just the right amount is happening, it never feels too rushed or boring. also the attention to detail and callbacks and references are amazing

oh fuck he mentioned the penguins. that means jedidiah will knwo he was looking for the journals

wow it s been a while since he talked about the sun or the moon, kinda nice to hear about the sky again. of course now im remembering jedidiah talking abotu the stars and im sad again.

the moon was in the sky all day? is that normal?

oh. she wants control. like how sydney talked to elijah. to prove he has control. to make a choice.

"was that being fed is not always the same as being nourished." back to the starving thing.

the clock is back

he misses jedidiah :(

still dont know whats goin on with the centipede

"I need to prove I’m worth something to you" (ambrosecore)

"My body is whole. My body is eaten.' spooky.

they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy they better get happy

32!

glitchy walky talkies? i think thats that kind of beep. something something something RADIATOR? idk as someone whos bad at listening, i kinda wish they put the beginning bits in the transcript, but i guess thats bc mysteries???

static is back. aw, the moon has returned to her duty.

"Ahhhhh, to overthrow nature…" reminds me of the natural order thing joshua said during the camp revolt thing

also i was so right about elijah's culty stuff

communication? are they gonna be happy, maybe, at some point???

...i may have read spoilers in the wiki that they get together in 34, so i hope that means theyll be happy.

fuck fuck fuck fuck noo no non on no no elijah stay away

"Am I alone… ? " D:

glad he has a gun. that definitely cant backfire in any possible way...

fuck fuck fuck why is cabin dungbeetle like thhis

sound design is still so fuckin sick

jedidiah describing sydney: he's, uh, fuck, idk hes hot?

hes so pathetic /affectionate

OH FUCK ELIJAH KIDNAPPED HIM!!! TONIES WHY DIDNT YOU START WITH THAT WHAT THE HELL

no no no you can t end on cliffhangers like that (i say as if im not gonna watch the next one in like a minute) (i could never watch shows or podcasts as they come out i would actually die from the cliffhangers)

oh wait its not the end of the ep.

again sound design is immaculate

if sydney dies at the end of this series so will i, just putting that out there. (oh same with jedidiah)

YO OMG HES SO SMART i forgot about the reflection thing. what did he steal?? idk he took something that was like 'the only way i could seee my reflection' or something.. that makes so much sense.

by the way imma be at least a bit upset if we dont get any more rowan content before the end of the series.

(last ep)

FUCK you elijah i hope you BURN in HELL (sorry to any non elijah-haters, but also, not sorry bc hes bad)

"every day is a living fucking nightmare!" i mean this is just a thing thats said and not, like, unique to the show, but jedidiah does say something similar earlier on i think

the whole love vs want think kinda reminds me of linda, and like wiley bein like 'you dont want to be loved you want to be adored' (of course thats more framed as a villain thing so..)

FUCK WAIT THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???!!!!

"She keeps him like a prison." callback to the prison thing? the ''it felt comfy and safe, like a prison" i think it was something like that

so elijah is connected to the clocks somehow??

FUCK FUCK FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS THE JOURNAL

NO NO NO WHATS HE GOING TO DO

salamander man=elijah?

thats when he died???

second journal entry reminds me of, this is weird, but like dnd memes? and how magic kinda comes naturally to classes like sorcerers and bards, but wizards learn through study?

also im very confused by why the journal entries are so important, and why elijahs voice keeps changing. its really unsettling

so jedidiah was looking into magic to heal him?

"You turn it off and back on again." holy fuck

oh my god so thats why necromancy is such a reaccuring thing? and them being like , dw real necromancy isnt popular

the clock is also an interesting thing, idk what it means tho

aww the statics back :)

why is lucille like this

whats her goal in any of it

"This information… resists being known." (ms holloway vibes)

his, dad, died from that??

" Because I’m nothing without you, Sydney, I really am." (quincent vibes)

i find this switch really interesting bc up untill this moment sydneys always been the one, kind of, like, comfortable with death? and it makes sense now, i guess, because jedidiah was afraid of it, afraid that sydney might find out, and hed get hurt again

"But there’s something kind of sexy about that, though, right?" (a real stroke of luck, when the one man you can murder is one of the men you--- /ref) (sorrry sorry sorry this is a serious conversation ill try to be more normal)

awww gay (now for the happy? maybe? can they please be happy?) (sorry i said id be normal.. ill do that now < ---lying)

"Uhmm… [Sniff] hey, I, uh, haven’t seen you drink water, yet. I don’t think you’ve been drinking water — here. Drink. " (this is a reminder to all my friends who dont hydrate enough. do it. or you'll end up like sydney, nearly burned on a pyre by a weird russian guy in an elephant mask)

the gays? on their way to being happy? even just for a bit? not clickbait? (dw i know elijahs gonna come back and fuck everyone over in a lil bit. just let me have my moment)

"Also, he’s gone. For good." dude dont fucking jinx it!

"Seems the two of ‘em have gotten quite cozy. " (thats kinda gay dude)

i was so confused then i remembered that it was 20 dimentional chess

still kinda confused about the mirror thing

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THATS THE END

NO NO NO NO NO NO

e32uojkbwqlrhugejbkqfdshoihuqjbkefrbejwkghioujeklfnwmdlskjaipuojlknm, gnwklejfponrdsjlaiojfwejb

im sad now D:

anyway, i am sincerely sorry that you had to read this hot mess. uh, rowan, if youre still here. go to sleep.

ok now im gonna go read fanfic and hope it can heal me from this emotional rollercoaster.

bye <3

#camp here and there #chnt spoilers #cw violence #cw cannibalism #cw abuse?#cw gore #cw body horror?#cw death #cw animal death #cw cults?#uhh also spoilers for a lotta extra things bc i talk too much: spies are forever hatchetfield adamandi and toapp #marble musings #marble monologues

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maegalkarven · 1 year ago

Note

Out of curiosity what happens to all of your dark urges post-game?

This is going to be LONG, so i'm putting it under the "read more".

Thanks so much for asking and giving me an opportunity to rant about my boys! (they're all masc, yeah. All kind of trans. I am not projecting anything. Also I lied just now)

As of now I have 3 (4 counting Morgan) developed till post-game Durges.

Morgan is my first playthrough and maybe shouldn't be counted, but he and Astarion leave for Underdark. Morgan is a drow bard btw and his story is the messiest bullshit ever bc at that point I was still figuring BG3 out.

Now to the fun part! (June, Levi and Nemo). Mind what all 3 of them are romantically involved with Gortash and it plays its part.

So let's start with my favorite druid asshole Levi. He visually appears to be a tiefling. 6 ft tall handsome young man with one blazing green eye, one eye pitch-black (later an implant of the eye of the devil he took for himself), wavy ginger hair, freckles EVERYWHERE and a very arrogant attitude. His horns have been broken by Sarevok when he was around adolescence.

Levi has 2 versions of how his live goes after the end credits. Basically his good (canon) ending and his bad ending.

Bad ending is where Gortash dies, Levi goes the whole "I am god" way, takes the Crown of Karsus for himself and erases Bhaal from the existence of the universe, successfully taking his domain, his aspect and his place. It's a lonely life of godhood for him and the one where he loses himself.

His good ending branches depending if Noah (his son) exists.

If Noah indeed exists, Levi has a whole ass husband and a son waiting for him at home (in Baldur's Gate) and a whole new playground of the city. He transforms part of the city into the garden and creates the new circle of druids with Kagha as the achdruid. But inevitably fuck off to hells to fight not his battle bc he can and he loves fighting.

Levi is set on a long ass quest conquering Hells bc: 1) it's fun. 2) His homie needs Mizora dead. 3) His other homie needs Zariel dead.

If Noah wasn't born, his path goes almost the same way (considering Hells), but it's the main focus of his, and the main goal. In that version he wants all of Mephisto's wonders for himself and operates from the House of Hope what he and Gortash live in (while planning evil things for evil reasons, yeah. "If heavens are out of reach, we will make Hells ours" kind of an attitude.)

Basically for Levi it's either godhood but the path of loneliness or a lot of shenanigans in hells with his two best friends (Wyll and Karlach) and the wicked partnership with Gortash. Watch him successfully balance out THAT dynamic mix.

Then there's Nemo. Nemo is non-amnesiac Durge who got very weak after his sister's attack. Looks like a half-drow (ppl keep calling him half-breed and he hates it. He is a pureblood bhaalspawn, damn it!) Looks like a golden child with sun-warmed skin, golden eyes and hair and A LONG ASS SCAR ORIN LEFT OVER HIS PERFECT FACE. THANKS FOR NOTHING, SISTER. Short (5 ft). The only 'off' thing about him is what his sclera is black.

He is also the mastermind behind the successful creation and management of the current cult of Bhaal in BG as it is. Nemo's misadventures are featured in the series of oneshots called "Empty Prayers".

He has only a good ending because I said so, and this is where he kills Orin and himself in a double suicide act, robbing Bhaal of the chosen and a child. Bhaal throws a fit, Withers plays a savior.

EVERYONE is angry at Nemo, Orin is left with no memory of who she is or what the fuck is going on.

No one is happy 2.0.

His post-game ending is where he is a shadow over the BG, a leader of the newly established assassins' guild into which he drags his lover and partner in crime Astarion.

Nemo is a man who transfers the cult of Bhaal into something else and earns money for it. It is easy, because most of the cultists only knew him as a leader and several of them were raised by him.

He basically lowers his expectations and chills, having joint-custody over the city underground with Ninefingers.

Gortash manages to stay arcduke in that one, but ba-a-a-arely. No one is happy, even Gortash, because it's such a mediocre win it's embarrassing. He will manage to pull Nemo into some heist-like bullshit very soon, that with him and his very useful guild of trained cutthroats who are loyal to Nemo and Nemo alone.

The last one - June. My least fav child bc I am v conflicted with how he just branched into 2 separate entities. @ June come on. He has either grey hair and silver eyes (selunite!June) or black-blue hair and light-blue eyes (cambion!June). Either way his skin is greyish-blue with freckles, his horns are grey as some ash can be. He is 5 ft 5.

June is either tiefling priest of Selune or cambion grandchild of Mephisto. I consider both of the versions like alt. of the same person.

In his good (canon) ending June leaves for Underdark with Gortash and Astarion to conquer it and seek all the netherise artifacts left there.

Ex priest of Selûne June does it in some quest of "salvation", cambion June does it because he's the forbidden knowledge seeking bastard (Mephisto raised him, ok). Both versions of June defy Bhaal, though for different reasons.

Now, there is a bad ending for June too, which is highly tied to how he treats the situation with Gortash and how much has the tadparty affected him. If he has failed to develop enough ties with the team, June agrees with everything the man says - Gortash dies at the Netherbrain Blast - June becomes the new Chosen of Bane.

Which strangely fits both versions of June, because selunite!June DID pray to Bane, he just never answered.

And cambion!June is a little too alike Bane's own son (a hybrid of a god and fiend who Bhaal probably was going to use the same way Bane used his son) and in a dire need of a plan to out-do Mephisto.

If June does have close ties with his team and they affect his decision-making, then he's a little more smart about it, tadpoles Gortash, and that derails everything to Gortash joining the team and all hells breaking loose (to the good end. I promise)

There's also Callisto, but Callisto didn't live further than the escape from the nautiloid. I will play them after I break my pc's mind and re-merge it gently, after which BG3 (hopefully) will run on my pc without any third parties involved. But Callisto is a half-drow priest of Tiamat. My baby said FUCK toxic father, I want to be adopted by a toxic mother instead. Their main long goal is freeing Tiamat from her prison in Hell.

#dark urge: levi #dark urge: nemo #dark urge: june #dark urge: morgan #dark urge: callisto #srsly thank you SO MUCH for asking. You have no idea how much fun i had writing all of this #if you see them all defying bhaal you're not imagining it #they all defy bhaal for different reasons bc i said so #maybe callisto won't...but that would make their evil mum angry...so they probably will #callisto will unleash tiamat on the world and will be PROUD of that #bane is going to get an evil wife and that's a THREAT

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