#this game brings out something in me
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deify.
[to find a home in you is to expect eviction. i'll plant flowers anyway.]
prints
#when im gone you can make a bouquet#all words are my own#so is the art#this game brings out something in me#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#stillindigo art
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Tetris Fanart.
I've been playing tetris while listening to horror podcasts. and yeah
#text#art#eyestrain#cw eystrain#bright colors#cw bright colors#tetris#nintendo#god i dont know what to tag this with. i dont wanna tag it with the podcasts themselves cuz that feels disingenuous. swagever#i actually started this piece a while ago. ok yeah looking at the date that was almost 3 weeks ago wow#but i finally decided to bring it back and finish it#ive been getting back into digital art and its been really nice. its nice having finished pieces.#ive been trying to get weirder with my art. like this piece was weirdly 'personal' in a sense#its been my unique experience listening to these pieces of media. the game in the bg is jsut as important to my experience as the art itsel#the looming sense of dread these podcasts give fit weirdly well with the high tension of some of these games of tetris#i wanted to have that sorta weird ominous vibe to it. have even the pieces feel loud and threatening.#and the gameplay being Past the ds itself is something i thought could be neat#ykno the tetris effect? where you play a bunch and then after you see the shapes everywhere;you play it in your mind?#that was part of what i wanted to channel there. but also like; how your attention works with this stuff#i might be looking straight at the ds but my attention is elsewhere; my brain is in another world#the game is still inescapable tho. tetris effect whatever. these stories stick in my brain just as much.#its all given me some. very very annoyingn anxiety. but i have to go back to them. like a moth to a flame etc. hince the moth climbing out#but uh yeah. that set up was my life for a few weeks whenever i had free time.#the main podcast this is about was magnus btw <- not typing full name so im not on the tag#and uh.#objectum#yeah i think. i think yeah.
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new ride kamens dropped, rui, who is definitely a horobi homage; another cool choice, but at the same time, kinda wish it was someone else 'cuz now we got two zero-one homages with hayate's jin, when the trend had been one rider for each season until him, and people started claiming that takahashi must be playing favorites
aw, I was actually pretty jazzed to see it was Horobi! I think it opens up some interesting possibilities if it isn't only one-per after all, and I'm excited to see if there's gonna be something with him and Hayate or not. plus I just really like his design
(also, not to be all cynical, but. this exists because of a corporate trend-hop with a franchise that is already sorta notorious for executive meddling. I would be...let's say very surprised if Takahashi had that level of control over what riders were included, versus being handed a list to work off of that the execs had already determined would appeal to their target demographic. c'mon.)
#art#ride kamens#like idk maybe he could make suggestions or pick out of a larger pool or something#but absolutely zero chance he had any kind of final say without needing a billion exec approvals and revisions and finalizations#that is simply not how this kind of sausage gets made#(i still have the conspiracy theory that taiten was supposed to be zangetsu instead of woz) (he basically IS takatora come on)#ah well i am very curious about what this means for the rest of these dudes!#we've still got five reveals left and possibly more guys in the future after the game starts#i am looking forward to tomorrow because it will bring us both hat-boy and wolf/fox/somekindofanimal-boy#extremely pleased that these have been combined into one character#it's the little things that make me happy
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#mtas#my time at sandrock#mtas wei#mtas builder#fanart#i found my true love target ; v ;#the smiling type is the ones that truly snatch my heart#they bring me the utmost joy#as much ironic it is unsuur makes me unsure of the rest of the stage after confession#i just thought i marry him in case the builder parents come and there would be some kind of scene over it like in portia#till the very last minute my heart was somehow still half in about it#tho in the game unsuur is read very close as 'unsure' i actually pronounce it differently bcs it's close to something in my language#unsur : means element; i thought that's nice bcs it feels closely to rock related thing#https://translate.google.com/?sl=id&tl=en&text=unsur&op=translate#if anyone even interest the slightest on how it sounds when pronounced by me here's the google translate link#but yea i'm dying that it is literally being pronounced 'unsure'#pls help him he just needs to be given a chance to command so he can learn to do independent thinking from experience#like yeah probably there would be lots of mistake at first#but u're like a mom justice who decides everything for the child so when u ask the child they just be like don't know ask mom fshdshd#he needs to be put out there#or had that been done justice if so i am sorry ; v ;#but seriously i'm dying when i kept adventuring with justice and logan and unsuur was just told to wait like a puppy fhsdh#he needs to be taught how to decide things by himself seriously#it's honestly hard to write unsuur's character#like no matter how u tried somehow it doesn't feel as close as funny or as serious deadpan like the original#wei here is like a piece of white paper i can scribble whatever i want#it's unexpected#but i ended up liking wei
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Love the thought of Mhin’s monster being terrifying; a true threat to your (the MC’s) safety, an insurmountable burden that has destroyed Mhin’s life and that’s why they are so desperate for a cure.
But also…
Thinking about Androcles removing the thorn from the lion’s paw…
The thought that maybe if the monster doesn’t successfully kill you the first time, it will recognize you the second.
That transformation looks like it hurts. Before, after, during.
The idea that it will be a slow process, a dangerous one, but if you can survive, if you can calm it down–
Preening broken feathers. A slow and methodical process, but your heart beats like you’re running for your life. You keep retreating, feather by feather, because you’re not sure how stable this moment of calm is, how long you have before it will try to kill you again.
You gain Mhin’s trust the same way. Slow and methodical. Showing your hands at all times. No sudden movements.
Mhin knows you ran into their Monster–knows that you know. They hate the thought of putting this much faith in another person but they hate the thought that the monster might get out and harm people even more. You could be an ally in this too, they suppose…
They hand over a key to their safe house, show you how to use the security measures they have in place for when they transform. They explain to you how to safely lock them inside–it can be done from either side effectively but Mhin never gives any thought to which side of the door you’d choose to be on…
You start asking Kuras for medical supplies, unable to give any information regarding why you need them. You see someone selling hunting birds and carrier pigeons in the market so you ply them for information, paying them back by shelling out a ridiculous amount of money on whatever care products look like they might be moderately useful.
More preening broken feathers. It seems to–they–seem to understand that you mean to help, now. The process becomes easier. You start carefully removing bits of broken glass you find embedded into them–you’re not sure how it got there, if the glass is something mystical or if they went on a little rampage before you were able to lead them into the safe house. Maybe they’re just like a regular bird and they ran into something by accident. Maybe it’s been there for years because no one’s been around (or able to) take it out.
Does it hurt Mhin, too?
You’re even more determined with that thought, though you have to be so-very-careful because if you startle or hurt them, they become agitated. You’re not sure if they would hurt you on purpose anymore, but they sure as hell could kill you by accident.
It burns your heart to leave some pieces in before Mhin changes back, but you know you have to. You can’t help if you don’t stay safe. And Mhin always makes you promise to look after yourself when they can't.
Mhin transforms back and realizes that it didn’t take so much from them this time, that the usual pain is a little lesser, that they still ache but it isn’t debilitating. They write it off at first but the thought sits at the back of their mind. Filling them with unrest. A thorn in their side that they cannot quite reach...
They go to their safe house to check how the locks are holding up and they notice some things. A large basin for water. Your supplies. A music box, of all things.
Needless to say, they’re horrified. They demand to know what you’re doing. Are you trying to get yourself killed?
“I knew you had no sense but–”
You assure them that you’re taking every precaution.
Besides, aren’t you doing the right thing? It’s totally logical that they (–it , Mhin insists) can get thirsty, of course Mhin is feeling better when they aren’t being locked in an empty room deprived of water half the time.
The monster looks so sad, now that they aren’t trying to hurt you. As they became more used to you, you began to see the parts where they and Mhin overlap. Shared habits. The way they settle down to sleep at night is the same…
Mhin hates the monster inside of them, but you don’t.
#i wrote this so fast i am omw out the door forgive me the are for sure mistakes this is the energy today that we are bringing#Something something loving the parts of someone that they think make them Bad And Terrible#but not in an ‘i can fix you way’ but in an i’m here to support you even when you’re at your lowest’ kinda way#Flavor tags:#Soft Mhin Hours ft. The Bird Monster#mhin touchstarved#Touchstarved Fanfic#Touchstarved game#the music box is so Atheris-coded btw u know they gotta play their bird some tunes even while their hands are occupied#toxintouch writing#touchstarved Wishlist: Mhin#Atheris in the tags#Atheris-coded
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so anyway when anyone holds the belief that the career kids were evil and were natural born killers you are equally dehumanizing them like the systems of training they were put in. you are adultifying children who were brainwashed and forced to learn the ways of slaughter for sake of glory. we could talk about their parallels to war also, but the main thing here are these are children taught that in order to appease their district they must kill ruthlessly and without second regard for anyone else in th equation. their win and their path of success only, even if in the end they're still cannon fodder like all other victors. like how many time does it have to be said that the careers are VICTIMS. not villains like they're portrayed as by the narrative.
#like think of the adult careers. those were children forced to grow up too fast because they needed to learn how to survive#so they could fight for their district and come home to bring pride#and then they learn that it wasn't what everyone made things out to be#the amount of people i see saying that cato clove marvel and glimmer were simply killing machines and nothing more.#buddy let me TELL YOU something#they were just as human and just as scared as anyone else in that arena#the careers not being perfect victims to most doesn't mean they aren't victims of their circumstances#wealth and level of status doesn't matter when these children were abused to fuel the entertainment of the hunger games#crazy thing is that they're NOT even supposed to be training but it's the standard. it's what makes their home proud#and the capitol satisfied.#anyway this is for my one mutual because i wanted to share my thoughts...#the hunger games#thg#the careers#enobaria#brutus#cashmere#gloss#finnick odair#mags flanagan#annie cresta#glimmer#marvel#cato#clove
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Shuake/akiren
Bittersweet
"You know, I don't actually come to Kichijoji that much," says Ann. "I didn't even know this place was here."
It's kind of a hole in the wall. In the floor. Ren glances back towards the narrow stairs like he's expecting someone. Muhen looks bored. He's flipping through a book at the counter.
"This is super good, though," Ann adds, holding up her mocktail. "Thanks for bringing me!"
"Sure," says Ren.
There's no singer today. She's not scheduled to come in for another couple of days. Maybe he'll bring Haru to see her then, since they're technically dating as of last Sunday.
Ann knows this, but didn't say anything about that when he asked her here tonight. She's too tactful for that. Besides, they're here as friends.
Ren's never brought a friend here. He's never brought anyone here. A handful of times, he was brought. The Jazz Jin feels comfortable and familiar enough to be an old haunt, but now that Ren really thinks about it, he hasn't even tried all the mocktails on the menu. What is it they say--that people come, and they go?
"Hey, so," Ann says softly.
It feels too weird to contemplate bringing Haru here. He really should. They're dating. He likes her. She likes him. He really does like her. It's just, the boy who'd brought him here that handful of times might have killed her father.
Some people may stay with you, though.
Ann's nails are painted an eggshell blue today. He isn't really sure why he called her--no, of course he is. It's always Ann he calls when he needs exactly what only she can give, something uniquely warm. Ren had been on the way to Kichijoji before he'd registered the tap of his train card, realised he couldn't stomach the music alone, and she'd said Hello? only a few shorts moments before he noticed he'd called her at all. Her company is like hot chocolate or a sticky toffee cake, warm and sweet, hard to feel empty with.
She folds her hands over his and says, "Hey, Ren, how are you feeling?"
Pretty alive, all things considered. So his cheek's a little tender, and maybe she had to help him down the stairs.
Ann squeezes his hand.
Someone changes the record. Ren likes this one. Someone else hadn't so much, but then, his opinion isn't of consequence anymore.
"I like the music here," Ann chirps. "Should I get a record player, do you think? You can give me recs, yeah?"
"Sure," says Ren again. He smiles back at her and doesn't look at the stairs again.
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(send me a one word prompt)
#UH OH... DID I HIT THE BRIEF WITH THIS ONE. IM NOT SURE#i unfortunately really like doing ship stuff where one half of the ship isnt there...</3#something super fun about his presence haunting the whole thing like an entitled ghost and his name doesnt even get said#like what's the opposite of a vampire. no invitation? no problem#anyway. this is based on my ng+. my ren started dating haru about three seconds before the interrogation room kicked off#then was left with a wealth of free time because everyone had been about maxed out. and i wanted to go to the jazz club#and i was thinking about how ren probably would also want to go to the jazz club but i/he hadn't invited a single other person all game#and i thought maybe he should invite haru since they just started dating but somehow inviting his actual girlfriend felt like cheating on#you know. the boy who just tried to shoot him in the head? like what about good old fashioned loyalty. so i had him bring ann#which i just liked so much from a narrative perspective that now it's canon to me#rookfic#p5#this is akeshu but i wont tag it akeshu. people looking for akeshu might actually want to see the other guy#im cool with his absence.
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house and wilson i want to see them fight to the death... put them in a saw trap who kills who first...... i want them to experience psychological and physical torture at the hands of each other..... bc i think its really funny btw
#hilson#house md#greg house#james wilson#wilson#house#my most toxic guys#i swear usually im soooo nice to my characters i want to see them like. have babies and live happily ever after#something about house and wilson makes me want them to feel pain#cuddling?? no no they wouldnt. give me fanfiction where one of them poisons the other and they kiss about it before house goes to jail again#literally i want them in the hunger games#trap them in a cave with no food whos going donner party first#i want to do experiments and watch them react#i am a kid holding a magnifying glass on the anthill#ive never felt this way before#hatecrimes md brings out my dark side#hatecrimes md
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undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.
#[cherry on top]#undertale yellow spoilers#[..its still you]#anyways. finished my uty playthrough yesterday. oh my god.#^ that might be a bit of a surprise given that ive said like. nothing about it on here#but honestly i felt like positive-neutral about the game for most of it. like yeah it was good;#but nothing that drove me crazy. yknow? it was just an overall good game.#which is why i didnt really say anything about it#then it started picking up near the middle-end with the steamworks-#i enjoyed axis and guardener a lot; ceroba was a cool party member;#and the music in steamworks goes hard. one of my favorite tracks tbh#then there was the buildup to cerobas fight.#then i /got/ to cerobas fight and. crumples up into a ball AAUUUUUUUUUU#OH MY GODDDDDD#something about it made me shatter into a million tiny pieces.#a lot of things did actually. like how HARD IT WAS#i was stuck on her for OVER AN HOUR#BUT I DID IT. I DID IT LEGIT. IT WAS SO SATISFYING WHEN I FINALLY BEAT HER#god im just insane about ceroba rn. women who fuck up everything big time#and see no other option other than to dig their hole deeper because they sure as hell arent getting out of it#OH AND THE ENDING... BECAUSE OH MY GODDDD OF COURSE CLOVER WOULD DO THAT AHUGHHHHH#THEY'RE THE JUSTICE SOUL. THEY WANTED TO BRING MONSTERS TO JUSTICE AFTER ALL THEY FACED#OF FUCKING COURRSSSEEEEEEE AAAUUGHHHHH <- wail of anguish#KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING.#SORRY. i needed to lose it for my mental health. quoting that one tiktok: 'im craeezay. im insaaane!'#for other tidbits i wanted to mention:#cerobas bossfight music went HARD. i fucking love the phase 3 transition especially with her yelling as the music starts;#that black hole attack can go fuck itself;#and if you were wondering how long it took me to beat uty. it was around 10-11 hours for a pacifist route.#anyways i totally need to play more games. that was fucking awesome and i need to experience more things like that
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curt has a crush on arthur 🎤🎤
This got away from me so badly, and it now is its own ficlet! It does get heavy during the latter part, however, so tw for alcoholism, PTSD, character death, and people being shitty to each other in the throes of those.
"Y'know Curt's got a thing for you?" Bucky grins at him one night, closer to five sheets to the wind than three, leaning into Arthur's space outside of the O Club.
There had been a few of them who wandered out initially, chasing fresh air to clear their soaked heads, but then the band had started up again and they had followed the music inside in search of dance partners. Arthur had expected Bucky to be first amongst them to go, but he had stayed when Arthur lingered under the night sky, and now he understands why.
"Not sure you're meant to say shit like that, Major," Arthur laughs, mostly out of shock at the way Bucky seems perfectly at ease with the idea. "Gonna get somebody a blue ticket home."
"Naw," Bucky scoffs, still smiling, though it's starting to look more like a leer. "Ain't runnin' to tell nobody. Just figured I'd try my hand at bein' a wingman."
He laughs at his own joke, swaying away and hiccuping drunkenly.
There's no need, Arthur wants to tell him; him and Curt have been slipping into dark corners together for a bit of stress relief for nearly two weeks now. He wonders if he pieced together Curt 'having a thing for him' from the newly charged air between them, or if Curt really had said something to him. Wonders what either of those could mean.
"You're a good friend," he tells Bucky instead, and means it. "You're also drunk as a skunk. C'mon, we should head back inside before you sober up enough to remember this in the mornin'."
Bucky makes a dismissive noise, but turns towards the door with him anyway.
"You're not gonna give me anything to take back to him? What kind of a wingman are you makin' me, Foster?" He complains.
"Well, considerin' I didn't try to punch yours or his lights out when you said somethin', a real lucky one, sir."
Several Years Later
"Y'know Curt's got a thing for you?" Bucky slurs, and Arthur feels his heart drop to his knees.
It's hot in the VA hall they've piled into for the reunion, and Bucky's been on fine form all night, to the point that some of the boys who didn't know him as Air Exec or CO or POW had been looking at him funny, and Arthur had to volunteer to take him outside for a moment. Let him cool his head in the relative privacy of the side alley. Catch his breath. Shiver off some of the burn of whiskey in his stomach.
And Arthur has been doing so well recently, but now he wants that same burn something fierce. He should go back inside, send Viv or Buck to take care of Bucky. Find Ev and get out of here before he follows Egan the way he always does eventually, and throws away three months of stone cold sobriety over the invocation of a ghost that he's never without anyway.
He doesn't go back inside. He stays next to where Bucky has his head tilted back to the sky, his eyes closed. Ignoring the tremble of his fingers, Arthur takes out a cigarette and lights it.
"Yeah, Bucky," he sighs around the filter. He doesn't have the energy to play along, or the heart to stop him.
"What, no joke about a blue ticket?" Bucky asks.
Irritation abruptly curdles in Arthur's stomach. He can't tell if Bucky's really back in Thorpe Abbotts in his mind, or if he's just trying to get a rise out of him. It reminds him, bitterly, of the Stalag. Bucky growling at him at him like a cornered animal, digging his fingers into Arthur's bruises; Arthur letting him, because at least it made him useful.
"I'm a civilian, now," he reminds Bucky. "Me 'n' Ev get caught it's jail, remember?"
The other man has the decency to look uncomfortable at the reminder, kissing his teeth unhappily. His closed eyes remain turned up to the pollution-hidden stars.
"Yeah. Forgot that." A heavy pause, and Arthur feels himself tense. Bucky's winding up for something, drawing his arm back to throw a curve ball. Definitely looking for a fight of some kind, and Arthur hasn't taken any of the bait so far, but he's come pretty close. "You 'n' Ev moved pretty fuckin' quickly. After Africa."
"Don't," Arthur snaps.
"I mean, I've heard the stories, you practically jumped him right there in the desert, right? Fucked him all the way up until you got yourself shot down. Wrote him fuckin' love letters from a Nazi prison camp, for fuck's sake." Bucky's eyes open. There's something dangerous in their piercing blue. "I bet Curt's body wasn't even cold when you jumped on his dick."
Arthur had never snapped at him in the Stalag, had taken his licks from Bucky like a good little soldier and kept on trotting after him. It had been worth it then just to feel the ache. Even more worth it for the times when Bucky wasn't at his lowest ebb and he would try to silently make it up to him.
Now, though? Arthur doesn't have that kind of patience left in him. Not even for Bucky, not when it's about Ev, about Curt, and not really about either of them at all, but about Bucky needing something he thinks he can only get by finding a sore spot and poking.
He has to know it's coming, but Bucky doesn't dodge when Arthur throws the punch. It's a good hit, or a bad one, something crunching under Arthur's fist in a way that instantly overrides the fury that had risen in him at Bucky's provocation. Bucky goes staggering, hands up at his face, and Arthur stares in horror at the aftermath of what he's done.
"Jesus, shit, Bucky, 'm sorry, 'm so sorry, are you alright?" He jabbers, frozen to the spot.
Just out of reach, Bucky sways. He's making grunts and groans as he seems to fight to stay upright. When one of his hands moves, red spills from between his fingers like wine, trickles down the backs of his hands, and drips onto his dress uniform. It's all over his tie. It'll stain, badly, and Arthur can't stop staring at it, even as Bucky straightens out and makes a throaty 'whoop' noise.
"Always knew you had a helluva swing on you, Foster," he laughs thickly.
His own blood is all over his lips, and he's still laughing, and there's too much happening at once, too many pasts layered together in Arthur's head. The smell of burning skin draws him from them, then the pain in his fist. Not just his knuckles; he had curled his hand tight around his still lit cigarette to throw the punch, and the end was now searing into his palm.
Finally, he drops it. If he lets it burn him a moment more than he needs to, that's between him and God and his ghosts.
#the initial urge i had to make this frat boy au you have no idea the resistance it required#anyway arthur and curt hurt my heart a bit just because. because. well.#ab tag#nathan writes#mota#ask game#one day will write a Curt Lives fic about them. this is a threat poet.#theres a missing third scene here in the stalag but i could not bring myself to write it#one day i'll write something that isnt tinged with inescapable sadness but i fear today is not that day huh.#i'm not sure how happy i am with this but i had to exorcise it out of me#did NOT want it rotting in my drafts for months
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ok so i saw a post (not mentioning it here directly bc no hate to the op of it, but im so annoyed by that plotpoint that i gotta rant) about the scene were they undragonfy zelda and it was all like
- no actually the people that are upset that both zelda and link returned fully perfectly intact dont get that it makes so much sense and is so cool actually bc its sonias time power amplified and reverseing both zelda and links arm so that she was never a dragon to begin with (thats why she doesnt retain any of its features) and link never lost his arm and its such a cool callback to when sonia amplified raurus light laser thing and the reason sonia didnt do it earlier is bc ghost cant be everywhere i guess :) -
i talked about this once before so i wont go super into detail but ... yeah that doesnt make that any less unsatisfying imo
aside from it just feeling like a thinly veiled excuse to return everyone to perfect and unblemished status quo more than a 'cool callback' it also annoys me on a game design level bc (as i mentioned in that older post too) why would you not include ANY of the signifiers of the time power when they do it? like the TÖK sound that goes off when you activate it, the world going black and white with that wave animation, and zelda actually transforming back like a reverse tp link wolf thing, ANYTHING? no its just sparkly light beam in ghost dimension town and sparkly poof everyones back :)))
also the implications of that even being possible is just .. making everything even more messy imo like if you can time reverse not just a persons body, or just PART of a body but also a SOUL being lost, over such a long time too.... that raises so many questions, if sonias able to do something like THAT how come she cant send someone back in time bc that tbh sounds way less complicated (on a sidenote is it jsut me or did anyone else feel like sonia talking to zelda -lol i cant help you control your powers you just gotta vibe with it and figure it out yourself bro- was a lead up to zelda .. actually getting control of her suddendly revealed time powers? or was that meant as in oh look she reversed a few weapons once :) bc it felt like it was meant to be she has to find out how to return to her own time USING HER POWERS .. and then its jsut kinda dropped, like so many more things and oh look a dragon :) )
but overall i just .... ok you can find a flimsy excuse for that scene but it still feels ... bad? like oh cool bad guys deaded once again for sure totally this time and everyones back to normal like nothing ever happened and also it even reversed even zeldas memory i guess so she literally cant remember anything and why anything like that was never done before that is bc of reasons(tm)
it just feels so meaningless, sure you can find some wobbly explanation for why something went like that instead of all the other possibilites but its just ... unsatisfying
am i meant to feel whole having returned everythign as if nothing ever happened? bc i just feel empty, especially on top of all the things that left me with such an empty feeling in the game it just puts the cardboard cherry on top of a cardboard cake, pretty to look at but shallow like cardboard and just as tasteless
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#i think was the tag for that#of course im not telling anyone else how to feel about it#but TO ME its all just#did they run out of time and just started making the flimsiest excuses to why something went like that bc theyspent 3 years testing the glu#it jsut amplified my empty feeling#also it just solves itself#i thought about how it could go to bring her back so much and then it just kinda happens#no matter in what cool visuals and music you wrap something if its core is a tasteless mush i wont like it#it just all feels so much like an afterthought#and its making me sad over what could have been#even without rewriting it all like im doing#just changing a few things would make it much better#but what do i know#im just a random guy on the internet being frustrated about a video game
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Paul George on Stephen A. Smith’s Kawhi Leonard jab: “I didn’t like that moment… Kawhi wants to play… We exhausted a lot out of Kawhi this season. So at some point your body breaks you down… I didn’t appreciate that moment. I know I laughed because the situation was lighthearted, but deep down it was like you gotta let that go, Stephen A.”
Paul George, knight in shining armor
#HE DOES . u know. defend his girlbosses#as a good malewife husband soes#but like... he'll defend them.. five days after the fact#like hes just zoned out during the actual time of necessary defense#thinking about what new gaming chair to buy for himself whilst squinting harshly#i think tauruses and caps get shoehorned into being hashtag Daddies hashtag when it comes to personalities#like yes theyre grounded but that also means they like to duck into their little safety hovels sometimes#if a taurus is in an uncomfortable place/position.. they will often just smile& think abt how much they miss their regular place of comfort#until the moment passes#'oh but theyre so stubborn and loyal! theyll stand up for anyone! all the time!' stubbornness can ironically flucuate#theyre still showing stubbornness! just to the fact that they wanna go home. and they need this moment to pass#and if they bring something up rn.. it will not pass rn#this kind of thinking does not always bode well with fire signs#as much as i love to bully paul .. seeing others do it just isnt the same.. it does not come from a place of love in the end !!#'hes always been a coward-- too afraid to step up and be the bad guy. do the dirty work' no girl hes just a bit stupid#hes literally excitedly told reporters that hes soooo hyped up to try and be the rebound passer guy today#and then one game later hes like 'yea i kinda did too much.. that was.. not good 😔'#like he is doing the best in his mind! his doing bad is not out of bad intent! it's good intent and he is just failing miserably at it#LEAVE MY CRINGEFAIL MALEWIFE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️#MY CANCELLED GIRLFAILURE !!#he just wants to be a trophy husband to a terrifying strange and unusual mystery of a man like isnt that why we wrote dracula#is this not why creepypasta self insert y/n imagines exist on wattpad ?#paul george is just a y/n living in a spiteful world#LMFAOOO#hes so stupid i want to kill him but no one else can kill him but me ok#pg13 years old
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being a huge fan of tlou but also like. thinking that certain stories are built for certain mediums. like the entire theme of tlou2 is grounded and fresh because it’s a railroad/story video game that still affords you mechanical choices in how you navigate the world. i just don’t have a lot of confidence that presenting that story in a tv show with the minimal adjustments that they did in s1 will be fulfilling or compelling in any comparable way. because with tlou1 some of the like. beauty of that story was simply that it was such an emotive story contained in the medium of video games. and some of that was retained just by hitting similar or expanded emotional beats in the show, like the episodes that expanded on the life of the characters and the realities of that world. but truly so much of tlou2 emotional depth and ‘why does this story matter’ rests in the fact that’s it’s your hands on the controller, continually choosing to go forward in the story and have hope that it will work out in your-as-ellie-or-abby-or-somehow-booth’s favour. and you simply cannot get that in a non-interactive medium like television. like i do think tlou2 is a good story but it’s a good story because of the investment required by the player to keep pressing buttons and keep returning and to feel the adrenaline like responses of high intensity moments and be jarringly shifted into backstories that only increase the frustration. in general i’ve been thinking a lot about cross-medium adaptation and on the one hand i am glad that season 1 makes the story of the last of us more accessible to people who wouldn’t pick up a video game but it’s also like. maybe instead we can destigmatize video games as this inaccessible and dangerous medium a bit more instead of just . implicitly agreeing . like no maybe your mom won’t pick up a video game controller and play the last of us . but maybe you can play the game in the living room. sometimes the mediums that stories are told in aren’t just important but are actually foundational parts of how the information of a story is conveyed and that’s not only okay but is fucking fantastic. we should be happy actually that there are so many ways to collect a bunch of themes and ideas and put them together and hold them out to someone else and say “won’t you consider this with me. won’t you feel these emotions and care about these characters with me.”
#i’ve been thinking about this both for academic and personal reasons#where like. my thesis literally includes discussion of tlou2 and it’s profundity because of the players position as in control but without#real decision making power in the story#and it’s like. you’re the person animating these two ptsd ridden women who subject themselves to be puppets to their#own grief . and there’s something particularly resonant about the fact that you can’t change the Story. you can only play it.#and like . i’ve talked with my mom a lot about the last of us#since i played it the first time and it really just rocked my shit. and i remember walking out my bedroom after i’d finished tlou2#feeling that odd mixture of empty and completely fulfilled by a good story with tears in my eyes#and a few years later when i visited home and had happened to bring my ps4 along with me and i was having a rough time#my mom asked if i’d want to show her tlou. because she knew i loved it and because i’ve told her it has tropes she’d enjoy#but the only games she’ll ever play are point and click because she’s stubborn and some physicality stuff#but like i remember sitting on the couch just. playing this game and it wasn’t the exact same as her playing it herself . but sometimes her#commentary was like it was.#i just. idk man. tlou lover wants to be hyped but seeing the exact same visuals from the game just in tv show format is like#. what’s the point. why are you distilling the themes by removing the active (non)agency of the player and#replacing it with the passive role of ‘watcher’ in a story so emphatically about having an active role in the action#anyway#tagging this#tlou#for blog organization but this isn’t discourse or whatever just me thinkin my thoughts on my blog
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comeback!!
hey everyone! <3 i‘m not sure if anyone remembers me but i used to be quite active here a few months ago - then life got in the way (i graduated and subsequently fell into a deep hole of despair and confusion lol) and i couldn’t keep up with this blog and this community. i‘ve really missed it tho and would like to come back to y’all again, and to re-awaken my love for writing that got lost somewhere between stress and heat exhaustion. i‘m really really excited to see what you‘ve all been up to <3
#mina mumbles#ahhh its been so long#i have to get acquainted again with my blogs tagging system lol#also - during my absence i‘ve been tagged in lots of tag games and i do want to check them all out#but its been a while since i wrote anything so im not sure what i can bring to the table right now#but im excited to be back and hope i‘ll get my groove back soon#but u know what they say- tumblr blogs are like riding a bike etc etc#also pls feel very free to give me updates abour your projects !! or just come yell at me about something youre excited about!#i wanna know what i missed <3
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I have finally FINALLY got up to the dream scene at the start of the last mabelcorn in kmky and everything is flowing nicely finally, and the scenes and characterisation all are smooth and make sense and I am no longer going over the same establishing scenes like a pedant trying to make them perfect. SUCCESS!
Just have to knock out these next few bits then it's onto unicorn beatdowns, funny hats, pizza parties and loophole heists!
#i am so relieved#i feel a lot happier writing now that im happy with those establishing scenes#they didnt pan out how i originally planned but i think theyre better for it#i kept wanting to make bill and py fight but thats just not what they want to do#and das flavor pups have downgraded themselves from terrifying imposition to mild annoyance with potential for drama down the line#but these things will make everything else make better sense so i dont mind the bits i scrapped#now im cackling to myself writing out the dream scene and yes it will diverge slightly from how it panned out in the show!#because why the hell not#i also have been inundated with ideas for a sequel so im steadily noting down dialogue lines and ideas i want to see#and hopefully i stay on task and don't get too distracted by sequel daydreams#it'll be good tho when it gets there i promise you that#a true healing narrative that doesnt rely on punitive justice and creates a positive outcome without repeating codependant patterns#that we see so often in billford#yes love redeems but love for yourself is important in redeption arcs too and knowing that you can make something good with your own hands#is just the game changer i want to bring to the billford fandom#but anyway thats for later for now im back in action and hopefully on track for finishing the chapter by the end of the month#fingers crossed buds#I'm doing my best so all the folks needing a pick me up after world events get something fun to look forward to#kmky#knowing me knowing you
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WAIT ALAD V HAS NEVER APPEARED AFTER THE NEW WAR DID HE FUCKING DIE WITH VESO??????????
#warframe#HOLY SHIT I NEVER NOTICED THIS#i played a lot of stuff out of order bc i had some back progress before they reworked a lot of the game so he was always around to me#the wiki says there's been no sign of him after that#i don't 100% trust the wiki for lore so there might be something undocumented there#but damn that's a big deal#the fact his death isn't confirmed tells me they're gonna bring him back in some dramatic fashion#probably when we clash more directly against granum and his “new corpus”
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